#life in the us

[anguisette90]

Living in the United States of America in 2022 is having a serious conversation with your partner of 16 years about getting a divorce – not because you're unhappy or you're not planning on staying together, but because the upfront cost of a divorce is only about $300 in your state. And if you're divorced, your wife qualifies for state health insurance, which will literally save you $3-5K a year just in premiums and her routine medical expenses alone.

Living in the U.S. in 2022 is getting divorced because you cannot afford to remain married. Because somehow even though the average cost of rent in your county is almost 60% of your monthly household income (or 70% if you want a 2 bedroom) you don't qualify for any kind of state or federal assistance.

I work in a white collar middle-class job with a decent amount of education under my belt and better than average benefits. We've been incredibly fortunate where housing is concerned and we're still looking at almost 40% of our income going to it. Our monthly budget after minimum expenses is -$200. We will continue to operate at that deficit for at least a year, because despite the fact that my (perhaps soon-to-be ex?) wife has a medical diagnosis declaring her disabled and unable to work, her application will require at least one or two appeals before she'll be approved – because that's the standard process in this country.

Now, we're very privileged compared to a lot of other people. I have the option to work overtime with some regularity and most months can make up the deficit with ease. She had a decent amount of retirement savings that she cashed in when she was no longer able to work and we can live comfortably enough supplementing my income with that. We have a wide support network of family (mostly found, some blood) that would help out in a pinch. This is not one of those "please help us" posts and I'm not linking you to my Venmo or Kofi. I'm a geriatric millennial. I don't even have a Kofi.

This is just a statement of how profoundly fucked this country is. We couldn't even legally get married until 2016 because the "land of the free" didn't recognize same-sex marriage until then, and we were so excited to do it that we did it twice (one legal ceremony, one wedding). I don't believe a marriage vow is something that should be taken lightly. I won't say I don't believe in divorce, but for me personally when I made my vows, I knew it meant that I was committing to (among other things) always work with her to make our marriage work, no matter how challenging it might get. It hasn't always been sunshine and rainbows, but honestly, most days it is. And anyone who tells you that marriage is hard work is probably married to the wrong person. I wake up every single day next to my wife, and every single day I am grateful to be married to her because she is a gift.

Yet today I find myself seriously considering divorce, because a piece of paper doesn't change a thing between us (somewhat ironic, I know, given the number of times I've written that sentiment into fics for the opposite reason, lol) and taking steps to provide us with a better quality of life & more financial security feels in line with my marriage vows, even if we have to break them in the process. But I am so incredibly fucking disappointed that that's the choice I have. I am so fucking furious that this country has built a structure so dedicated to profit at all costs that the best thing I can do to provide for my wife is to divorce her.

That's it. No pretty words or bow to put on top of this rant. Just a heap of bitter disappointment and a big ol' Fuck Capitalism and Fuck the U.S.

#shouting into the void #real life shit #anti capitalism #universal healthcare #life in the us #angry rant #im sad and angry #and really fucking tired #divorce #marriage

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[tariah23]

Oh…. Well, it’s over for Crunchyroll I guess

#Crunchyroll #piracy #funimation #money hungry ass streaming service #rambling #I’ve never paid for a streaming service in my life thank god #I appreciated using others accounts but I personally cannot see myself paying this much for a service if I had the funds 😭! #get back to pirating kings!!! #anime has always been one of the easiest forms of media to pirate anyway so y’all got this #CR is definitely not worth paying for though #CR is certainly not worth paying this much for even if it’s a yearly one time fee #capitalism #the fact that CR has always had pretty bad quality as a streaming service anyway #it buffers every time you pause or rewind anything

[wasabi-gumdrop]

local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

#i’ve seen so many interpretations of that 1 hr freeze frame of Kabru’s smile in ep 16 #he’s meeting his long time crush of course he’s trying to charm him #Kabru so obviously has a big fat giant crush on Laios #like atp in the story he’s tried to talk to him and get his attention so many times agjdjajdj #Laios is the human rubix cube he’s been searching for his entire life #everyone else is almost too easy for Kabru to pin down #Laios on the other hand … a treasure trove of autistic mystery #Kabru is so locked in #Kabru used signature move: charming smile #Laios: no effect! #there’s something so beautiful about the popular pretty boy entering his fumble era when his one true love turns out to be autistic #labru #laios touden #kabru of utaya #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #wasabi rambles #seen so many clock that smile as nefarious and machiavellian #baby no Kabru is just dialing the charm up to 100 and what we’re all feeling is second hand embarrassment LMAO

[hansoeii]

we go just right.

#when the date went so wonderful that you don't even mind that you forgot your umbrella at home #crowley is doing his best and aziraphale appreciates it very much #aziraphale's very special version of pride and prejudice can't get wet #so you gotta use the four year old newspaper you found in your bentley #I am not mentally ready for season 2 #it will change me in a way that I cannot even explain #thank you neil gaiman love of my life fr #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens fanart #good omens 2 fanart #aziracrow fanart #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #david tenannt #micheal sheen #neil gaiman #digital art

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[fantastic-nonsense]

#god: rosalynn you've lived such a long and wonderful life #what would you like me to send to your beloved husband to let him know you're being taken care of? a bird? a rainbow? a random sunbeam? #rosalynn: kill henry kissinger. he'll know I asked. :)))) #jimmy carter #rosalynn carter #henry kissinger #us politics #world politics

[hometoursandotherstuff]

#life magnified forever stamps #US stamps #philately #stamp collecting #other stuff

[lifehacksthatwork]

Just a bunch of Useful websites - Updated for 2023

Removed/checked all links to make sure everything is working (03/03/23). Hope they help!

Sejda - Free online PDF editor.

Supercook - Have ingredients but no idea what to make? Put them in here and it'll give you recipe ideas.

Still Tasty - Trying the above but unsure about whether that sauce in the fridge is still edible? Check here first.

Archive.ph - Paywall bypass. Like 12ft below but appears to work far better and across more sites in my testing. I'd recommend trying this one first as I had more success with it.

12ft – Hate paywalls? Try this site out.

Where Is This - Want to know where a picture was taken, this site can help.

TOS/DR - Terms of service, didn't read. Gives you a summary of terms of service plus gives each site a privacy rating.

OneLook - Reverse dictionary for when you know the description of the word but can't for the life of you remember the actual word.

My Abandonware - Brilliant site for free, legal games. Has games from 1978 up to present day across pc and console. You'll be surprised by some of the games on there, some absolute gems.

Project Gutenberg – Always ends up on these type of lists and for very good reason. All works that are copyright free in one place.

Ninite – New PC? Install all of your programs in one go with no bloat or unnecessary crap.

PatchMyPC - Alternative to ninite with over 300 app options to keep upto date. Free for home users.

Unchecky – Tired of software trying to install additional unwanted programs? This will stop it completely by unchecking the necessary boxes when you install.

Sci-Hub – Research papers galore! Check here before shelling out money. And if it’s not here, try the next link in our list.

LibGen – Lots of free PDFs relate primarily to the sciences.

Zotero – A free and easy to use program to collect, organize, cite and share research.

Car Complaints – Buying a used car? Check out what other owners of the same model have to say about it first.

CamelCamelCamel – Check the historical prices of items on Amazon and set alerts for when prices drop.

Have I Been Pawned – Still the king when it comes to checking if your online accounts have been released in a data breach. Also able to sign up for email alerts if you’ve ever a victim of a breach.

I Have No TV - A collection of documentaries for you to while away the time. Completely free.

Radio Garden – Think Google Earth but wherever you zoom, you get the radio station of that place.

Just The Recipe – Paste in the url and get just the recipe as a result. No life story or adverts.

Tineye – An Amazing reverse image search tool.

My 90s TV – Simulates 90’s TV using YouTube videos. Also has My80sTV, My70sTV, My60sTV and for the younger ones out there, My00sTV. Lose yourself in nostalgia.

Foto Forensics – Free image analysis tools.

Old Games Download – A repository of games from the 90’s and early 2000’s. Get your fix of nostalgia here.

Online OCR – Convert pictures of text into actual text and output it in the format you need.

Remove Background – An amazingly quick and accurate way to remove backgrounds from your pictures.

Twoseven – Allows you to sync videos from providers such as Netflix, Youtube, Disney+ etc and watch them with your friends. Ad free and also has the ability to do real time video and text chat.

Terms of Service, Didn’t Read – Get a quick summary of Terms of service plus a privacy rating.

Coolors – Struggling to get a good combination of colors? This site will generate color palettes for you.

This To That – Need to glue two things together? This’ll help.

Photopea – A free online alternative to Adobe Photoshop. Does everything in your browser.

BitWarden – Free open source password manager.

Just Beam It - Peer to peer file transfer. Drop the file in on one end, click create link and send to whoever. Leave your pc on that page while they download. Because of how it works there are no file limits. It's genuinely amazing. Best file transfer system I have ever used.

Atlas Obscura – Travelling to a new place? Find out the hidden treasures you should go to with Atlas Obscura.

ID Ransomware – Ever get ransomware on your computer? Use this to see if the virus infecting your pc has been cracked yet or not. Potentially saving you money. You can also sign up for email notifications if your particular problem hasn’t been cracked yet.

Way Back Machine – The Internet Archive is a non-profit library of millions of free books, movies, software, music, websites and loads more.

Rome2Rio – Directions from anywhere to anywhere by bus, train, plane, car and ferry.

Splitter – Seperate different audio tracks audio. Allowing you to split out music from the words for example.

myNoise – Gives you beautiful noises to match your mood. Increase your productivity, calm down and need help sleeping? All here for you.

DeepL – Best language translation tool on the web.

Forvo – Alternatively, if you need to hear a local speaking a word, this is the site for you.

For even more useful sites, there is an expanded list that can be found here.

#life hacks #lifehacks #useful #bunch of useful sites #ysk #bookmark this #how to #free #helpful

[destinationtoast]

My grandmother is Japanese and really likes to give gifts. Often those gifts are Japanese desserts or other food, but sometimes she just slips me cash, folded up inside a tiny, beautiful envelope. But she likes to pretend she's not giving me money, so when possible, she'll hide it somewhere that I will find later.

Today I spent the afternoon with her doing chores and tech support, and she clearly felt this warranted a significant gift in return (no matter that I enjoyed myself). But she forgot to slip something into my pocket or bag before I left, so instead she rushed outside as I was starting my car, making the old-school "roll down the window" gesture. Once I complied, she was forced to acknowledge she was handing me money, but she also tried to minimize the gesture.

The result was that she said, "Thank you, dear! I just wanted you to be able to... to buy yourself a hamburger," and then handed me a darling little envelope that turned out to contain $100. And all I could think was:

#we live in california and even here that's a lot of hamburger #do kids these days still know the old signal for #roll down the window #? #do they still use it? #it does have the advantage of being distinctive #in a way that holding down an imaginary button does not #toasty life #the value of a hamburger #memes #it's one banana michael #op #50 #100 #500 #1K #5K #10K

[colourmeastonished]

Body swap movie where one of them has invisible disabilities and when the other one lands in their body they immediately collapse catatonic on the floor from the pain and fatigue and the first one is like 'oh damn guess I don't have to worry that I'm faking it anymore'

#i have this fantasy of one my able bodied friends and or coworkers occupying my body for like an hour #just to get a real sense of how much i am truly weathering hellfire every day of my life #sometimes i take stock and im like holy crap ive gotten so used to so much #im a frog in a pot and ive convinced myself the bubbling is just fun ambience #my thoughts #invisible disability #chronic illness #chronic pain

[lastoneout]

the whole guilt-tripping language in posts about important topics paired with how I'm still getting bitches in my notes talking about why it's actually good to tell "bad" people to kill themselves continues to prove to me that a lot of people have absolutely no concept of social justice or activism outside of assuming the worst of and then viciously attacking strangers on the internet

#the worst part too is this is just the logical conclusion of the hyper-individualistic society #that thrives on isolating us from each other and our communities #anyway pls get out and go volunteer to clean up litter or at the soup kitchen or something #y'all need to see that your actions can have both good and bad real world consequences #and also interact with people who share your values but come from different walks of life #and also how to organize with people you don't always 100% agree with #so yeah hang out at the farmer's market or smthn y'all really need to connect with your communities

[milkygothgf]

I want to be corrupted into a total sex obsessed freak sooooo bad. I want to be forced to get horny from literally everything. Stick household objects in me. Make me hump shoes and bags and clothes. Make me finger myself anytime I talk on the phone. Make me rub my pussy juices on all of my things. Make me watch porn at work. Make me always keep an earbud in so I can listen to girls getting fucked streamed 24/7. Keep a dildo in me anytime I use my computer. Make me sexualize every nonsexual thing in my life. I want to be completely perverted.

#make me quit my job so i can lay in bed all day and be in total sex bliss #i want everything in my life to be sex #milky talks #corruption kink #hard k1nk #object insertion. #i just came to someones selfie<3 #r@petoy #fr33use #cnc free use #cnc k!nk #dark k1nk #fav

[stil-lindigo]

Bisan is calling for another global strike!

I saw some posts just outlining Jan 21st, and wanted to clarify that Bisan has called for a full seven days of action.

What a global strike would look like is:

calling in sick to work

purchasing bare essentials ahead of the week so you can observe the general boycott of goods / buying as little as you genuinely can

putting in a concerted effort to elevate Palestinian voices and make it clear that this strike is in support of a permanent ceasefire!

For those who will have to purchase necessary goods during this time, please observe the brands that the BDS movement is asking us to boycott!

♢♢♢

Right now is also a good time to mention some better uses for your money during this week.

Available e-sims in Gaza are running low!!

Mirna El Helbawi and her team are working round the clock to continue to connect Palestinians as Israel does its best to cut them off from the rest of the world.

You can learn how to purchase and send e-sims here, and below you’ll find a list of what is currently needed (the areas in brackets indicate what region you should select to buy e-sims in).

--

CareforGaza is an organisation that does verifiably good work, distributing supplies directly to Palestinian families.

They have a Gofundme set up at the moment, but because of Gofundme’s poor track record regarding refusing to transfer funds to Palestinians, I’d recommend continuing to donate directly to their PayPal here.

Good luck to all of you. Don't turn away from Palestine!

#i know that for some people their first instinct will be to scoff. how can anyone just not buy things for a full week? #what about groceries? rent? #and personally. i wanna say yes. there are some things that we have to spend money on to survive. #but it is possible still to make a concerted effort in your life #to carve out seven days where you can minimise that amount of money #i know its a lot. #for some people who are living on a tight budget. i know its not possible and i dont fault you for that #but i know for a fact that so many of us would be able to take out a few daily purchases in observance of this strike #do your best #dont turn away from palestine #free palestine #palestine #from the river to the sea #call to action

[apollos-boyfriend]

so my younger cousin is flying in to visit from brazil on sunday, and will be staying here for like, the entirety of july. which, don't get me wrong, is super cool! i love the kid! but it felt like a super weird move, considering his parents are the SUPER strict and borderline helicopter parents. even the smallest prank/roughousing with him/his little sister would lead to a strict talking to from his parents, he couldn't ever do anything without their clear permission, that sort of stuff. so letting him fly at alone at 16 to a whole different country and stay there for a whole month seemed WILDLY out of character. additionally, it just felt like a super last-minute trip. it's not like we have any plans to do when he gets here, and the flight itself and stuff only got booked like, midway through june.

and i was talking to my mom about it, kind of trying to nudge some answers out of her, and after a while she went, "yeah, i think they're sending him over here to get away for his boyfriend. see if the distance breaks them off." which, first of all, surprised me because last i checked, they didn't KNOW he had a boyfriend. literally everyone in the family did EXCEPT for them because while that entire side of the family being semi-conservative, his parents (mostly his dad) are EXTREMELY old-fashioned. so clearly something already went wrong. and considering the only reason the rest of the family knew is because one person found out and it spread like wildfire, i have a sneaking suspicion he wasn't the one to tell them, either.

and second of all. they're sending him HERE. to try to make him forget his homosexuality. i couldn't do anything but just wordlessly gesture to the multiple pride flags scattered around my room, then to myself, because really? he has like two other cousins in the us and they're sending him to me? honey i am about to introduce this kid to queer scenes you have never even heard of. he'll be returning home with labels only shrimp can perceive

#icarus speaks #i fully believe she's correct btw #they are. not the brightest people. and honestly probably believe this is something that could work #cause i can see the logic of get him away and hopefully he'll realize it's a phase. which is Likely what they think #but oh honey you have a big storm coming #side note this is the SECOND time someone's been outed without permission on that side of the family 😭 #bitches learned of my transgenderism SO quickly #also even if that's NOT why they sent him here. i will still be rocking his world #they have given me Infinite Power and i will use it to make this kid's life as queer as physically possible

[feralthembo]

I am BEGGING yall to remember that "gay panic" means "i killed this person because theyre gay so you cant jail me for it" and NOT "UwU too gay to function"

Yall CANNOT reclaim this one please stop trying

#like i get it u want to take power from oppressors or whatever but using this jokingly will alienate other queers in ur life #i cannot trust anyone who doesnt know the severity of the term gay panic