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#like not that my therapist did anything wrong she was also like

veethefreeelf · 4 months

Text

Love is a strong word - Y.JH

This is part 2 to ‘Hate is a strong word’ I’M SORRY it took a while but real life got in the way also my eye is being extra annoying! I hope you guys love this as much as I do (づ๑•ᴗ•๑)づ♡

Summary:

It’s been a year since you moved away to a new branch. If you’re being honest, things haven’t been great. Being away from all you know and all you wanted has made you realize a lot of things and made you wish you had done things differently. Maybe moving back would be better for you.

Wordcount: 15k

Warnings: lots of conflict and resolutions, super emotional, angsty as fuck, protected v. penetration, fingering, lots of praising and fluff, nothing major, smut is pretty tame and loving, biting because yes

Requested: yes, by popular demand

P.S - Italic is for thoughts mainly from the characters’ perspective and quotes. Bold is for text messages/calls/voice messages between characters

It’s been a year since you moved to this new city and another branch at your company. It isn’t exactly going like you thought it would. You thought you would make friends easily. You thought your career would have progressed. You thought you wouldn’t think that much about Jeonghan. You were wrong on all counts.

Your career was still at the same stage it was when you moved. No exciting opportunities had opened. You had met some really nice people and your new team was great but you missed your team, you missed your best friends. You even missed Clara’s perverted comments on a daily basis. You missed the team meetings. You missed Jeonghan. You missed him a lot.

One thing moving to a smaller town and being new will do to you is give you time to think about the past. You had thought a lot about Jeonghan. What your feelings for him were. Why you were trying to keep him away. Why you told yourself you were fine with him being on a date with Hana while fucking you. Being away from all of them gave you a lot of clarity on a lot of things from your past. It also allowed you to feel things without fear and embrace everything you were too scared to do before.

Too bad it was too late.

You don’t know what happened with Jeonghan and Hana but you imagine them being happy together. And it devastated you. You should’ve said something. You shouldn’t have ran. You were a coward and it made you lose one of the best things in your life all because of pride.

No one from your previous team ever found out about you and Jeonghan. And every time you visited them or they visited you, the subject was never brought up. And, if you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t want to know. ‘Ignorance is bliss’ you tell yourself. At least this way you can pretend he doesn’t hate you now and that he is single and waiting for you. Your therapist disagrees and hopes you will face all your fears the next time you see him.

That’s another thing you did when you moved here. You got help. You got a therapist and it has helped you a lot. If anything, at least this year has made you grow as a person and made you realize how you should’ve handled most things in your life in the past. She has also helped you figure out ways for you to deal with your current feelings and given you tools to keep improving yourself to make sure you make the right decisions for yourself in the future.

It was okay living here though. The apartment wasn’t the best. You missed your baby terribly but you managed. You were adjusting fairly well. Initially, you had cried every day. It was very difficult to not see your people and not sleep in your bed. Now you were better. You were dealing with the consequences of your decision in a better way. You tried visiting your friends more and tried getting to know your new team more as well. You couldn’t deny that you did want to go back. To the branch, to your team, to your apartment, to… Everything that you left behind. But you didn’t think that opportunity would happen any time soon.

Work was always uneventful. All teams got along great and it was easy making decisions together. Also being a smaller branch, you didn’t get as many big accounts, so sometimes it was just a bit too slow for you and what you were accustomed to.

Today you had to finish the monthly report to your manager but not much else was going on so you let your team go home early for the day. You were having a hard time focusing on your work. Something that seems to have started when you moved here. You didn’t use to have this issue before. You were in the middle of your thoughts when your phone rang and snapped you out of it. You looked at it and smiled before answering.

“Hoshi, my beloved… Why are you calling me during work hours?”

“Seriously, this is your fault. Why would you leave us? This new manager is driving us insane” Hoshi told you in a whispered tone.

“Come on… He can’t be that bad. I heard really good things about him from when he was a team member here”

“I don’t know what kind of lies they told you but he is insane. His demands are outrageous. Remember how Jeonghan used to annoy us because he just wanted to? Well, this new guy has made Jeonghan annoy us even more and now Jeonghan is actually right! Can’t you understand how wrong this is?” Hoshi asked you.

“Here I thought I was special and Jeonghan only annoyed me. I guess we were all played, huh?” you asked Hoshi playfully.

“This isn’t funny, Y/N. Jeonghan has to be an asshole now because someone has to stop this guy. He is not ready to be a manager. You need to help us, say something to someone about him, please. I am begging you. We are begging you. And you owe us from leaving us with this lunatic” Hoshi answered in a very serious tone.

“Look, I can try and find out more about him and talk to my manager to see if anything can be done. But you know I don’t have that kind of power. You need to go to HR. Talk to Cass, she is usually the best person to reach for these things and she happens to be super close with Sunny. I will do the best I can on my side but I can’t guarantee anything” you told him sincerely.

What you didn’t tell him was that you wished you could switch with their manager and get back to your team. You hadn’t told them yet that you wanted to be back. It’s not a possibility and it would only make everyone sadder. You were done being selfish.

“I know. I know, Y/N. It’s just… Why can’t you come back? This guy is clearly not a good fit for our branch and for our team” Hoshi told you in a sad tone.

“It’s not my choice anymore. There’s no openings at all Hoshi. And I made a commitment to this branch when I moved here. I can’t just up and leave”

“You say that but we both know your worth and how much this company needs you. They would do anything you wanted to keep you. You could request to come back specially with all of us not getting along well with the new team lead. And it’s nothing personal. He just isn’t good at being a manager and he isn’t ready for it at this branch yet” Hoshi continued sincerely.

“I will speak to my manager about him, okay? But that’s all I can do for right now. You should reach out to Cass in HR on your side. The whole team should actually. And any other team that is also being affected by this should speak up as well” you added sternly.

“Okay, Y/N. Thank you. I have to go before he loses his shit. I hope you’re well and please, visit us soon” he said and you both hung up.

In a way Hoshi was right. You could request this change to the company. And it would make sense. Their new manager came from this branch where things are much slower and much easier. He was not ready for the big leagues as a manager at least. It would be easy to convince your manager.

For now, you would do the right thing and put your personal feelings aside. You would talk to your manager just like you promised Hoshi and it would be up to them on how to proceed from here.

There was a knock on your door and one of your team members - Chris - walked in.

“I thought I told you to go home for the day. Nothing to do around here for now” you told him and smiled.

“Well, you know me. I can’t leave with the boss still around. Hardly seems fair. Also I like to work for my money, thank you very much” he added as he started to move to sit on the chair across from you.

“Never met anyone that wouldn’t rush out of the office if told by their bosses before. Also please don’t call me boss. I told you so many times Chris” you said. Chris smiled.

Chris was a lovely guy. He was your right hand at this branch. He introduced you to everyone and made it easier for you to adjust to the change. He is also one of your best team members. Very hard working and constantly looking to improve and progress his career as well. He reminds you of a younger you.

The only problem with Chris is that he seems very interested in you. He has reached out to you about his feelings several times and wants you to give him a chance. This is one of the reasons you mostly haven’t gotten to know your team in the same way you tried with your previous team.

He was gorgeous. Tall. Muscular. Beautiful Australian accent. You were simply not interested. You had someone else in your mind and in your heart and even though you weren’t strong enough and brave enough to do anything about it, you knew you could never start something new with someone else without resolving the past.

Chris knew it too. Well not the whole ‘having feelings for someone else’ part but that you weren’t interested. And he had been very understanding. He hadn’t pushed at all. Simply told you if anything changed, he would always be open to explore your relationship further. It was sweet. He was one of the few things that kept you sane over here and you didn’t want to lose him.

“Are you going to be done soon? I was thinking maybe we can leave together?” Chris asked you.

“Sorry, no. I’ve been procrastinating for the last 20 minutes and now I’m late in delivering this. You go ahead and leave. I’m also going to try and catch the actual boss before leaving” you told him and he got up to leave.

“Alright, Y/N. See you tomorrow, have a great night” he told you before leaving.

Thankfully, your manager was still here as well and you were able to talk to him about the new team lead that Hoshi told you about. Seungkwan was his name. He was a very passionate team lead over here and yes, demanding but no one had ever had any complaints since he had been promoted. You explained to your boss the pace of the two branches are very different and so are the team members and the demands. You recommended someone check on the teams of the other branch and with Seungkwan himself to understand how everyone is adjusting and if any changes are necessary and your boss agreed.

You’ve done your part. You have warned the right people and now it’s up to them to assess and make decisions.

You got home and called Hoshi to tell him and he was relieved. He also reached out to Cass and everyone else on his team did the same. Apparently, tomorrow the advertising team and some IT members are also going to Cass about Seungkwan. Wow. He really hasn’t made any friends. Poor guy. This branch was very happy with him when he was here. Maybe he just isn’t ready for the amount of work and stress the other branch entails.

During that phone call with Hoshi, he asked you to come visit the following weekend and you agreed. You needed to see all of them. You told him to please arrange for all the team members to be available to hang out and drink and eat and gossip and he was more than happy to start sending voice messages screaming in the group chat you all have together. It made you smile so hard that they were still the same crazy bunch and they still cared so much about you even after you left.

Since you have a big drive to do whenever you visit, you made a request to your boss to book next Thursday and Friday off so you could really enjoy a proper weekend with them and with your apartment. He approved and you were all set for next week. You were so excited too. You couldn’t hide it.

“I wonder if Y/N will ever get this excited to see us in the future” Hyunjin, another one of your team members spoke and it broke you out of your daydream and silly smile.

“Definitely not. We’re the rebound” Felix - your sweetest team member - chimed in.

“Hey! That’s unfair. I’ve never treated any of you like a rebound. How dare you?” you asked Felix and pouted.

Everyone laughed and your team meeting proceeded again without any incidents. Like you said, your team was great and if you hadn’t had the perfect team members before, maybe you could appreciate them more but you truly missed your people. You were so ready to come and see them.

The week went by fast and at last Wednesday arrived and you couldn't wait for the day to end for you to go home and get ready to leave. Before your day was done, your boss called you into his office to discuss something that apparently couldn’t wait until you got back.

“I know you have to leave and I’m sorry to call you in right now but it’s precisely because you are going to visit them over there that I wanted to get this out of the way before you left” he told you once you sat down in front of him.

“I’m not getting fired, am I? That would lead to a depressing weekend” you said jokingly and you both laughed.

“Not at all. This company will do the best they can to keep you around in any branch and you know that as well. You’re far too valuable. This is about the team lead situation you brought to light to me last week, actually” he told you and you sat there silently waiting for him to continue.

“After we talked about it, I brought it up to the head of HR and they actually talked to everyone at that branch including Seungkwan and his manager to understand what could be happening. It was determined that Seungkwan is not ready for a managerial position at that branch just yet. However, he still wanted to stay on as a team member for the marketing team and learn from the new team lead that joins their team instead of coming back to this branch” he added and you nodded.

“Now, as much as the possibility of losing you pains me personally, it’s up to me to let you know that the company is actually giving you the choice. Since you were the one that started bringing this to everyone’s attention and you were extremely successful in leading the team in the other branch before, they wanted to give you the opportunity to return to the branch as team lead if you wanted to”

“Return?” you asked confused.

Your manager laughed.

“Yes. You have one of two options. Return there as team lead and continue on where you left off with the team and to your success or stay here with us” he said and you looked down.

“Look, I know this branch isn’t working exactly as you thought it would for you. I’m not blind to that. Not only that but the opportunities that you were told you were getting here haven’t happened and won’t anytime soon. So even though I don’t want to lose you, I really want you to think it over”

“Does anyone else know about this? Team members, branches?” you asked him.

“No. The managers know but no one else. They will only be told after a decision is made. If you choose to stay with us, they will hire an outsider for the team lead position at the other branch. If you choose to return to your branch, we will most likely promote Chris as the team lead here” he answered you.

“Chris would be great as a team lead for this team. They all trust him and he has seen me do a lot of the team lead tasks so he’ll learn quickly” you told your manager.

“Does this mean you’re choosing to return to them then?” he asked you and you paused.

“No… I don’t know yet. Can I think this over the weekend? I’m assuming you also told me this today to have me think it over while I’m there” you said and laughed lightly.

“Of course and yes, that’s exactly why I told you. Monday we can discuss this more but go have fun and rest” he told you. You said your goodbyes for the weekend and went home to pack and get ready.

It’s funny. You spent most of this year wanting this opportunity to open up. And now that it’s here, you’re hesitating.

Going back there would mean facing a lot of things you left behind. Things you weren’t sure you were completely ready for just yet. Sure, you had been working on yourself and on making better decisions for yourself and on being more honest with everyone around you but you were still scared.

Returning also meant finding out what happened with Jeonghan this last year and you didn’t know if you were ready for that. If he was still dating Hana and you had to start seeing them together every day, you might lose your mind completely. Not knowing anything made you feel that maybe, just maybe, he was waiting for you just like you were waiting for him. You didn’t want that delusion to be shattered by reality.

On the other hand, you missed everyone terribly. You missed the pacing of your job, your people, your apartment, your favorite restaurants. Would you really pass this opportunity up just because you were scared of getting your heart broken?

You haven’t decided yet. Maybe your manager is right. Seeing everyone and going back there can really help you make a final decision and the right decision for yourself personally and professionally.

The next day you were well rested and ready for the drive. All you could think about was seeing your apartment and lying in your bed.

As soon as you got to your apartment, you felt like a new person. You loved the feeling of coming home. Your actual home. You went out to get groceries and came back home to cook a nice meal and hang out at your place. You missed this so much, being by yourself in your home and binging a show on the couch. This was all you had planned for today.

Tomorrow you were meeting them at your usual place where you used to have most of your team building dinners. You missed that place too even if the last time you were there you were faced with Jeonghan and Hana on a date. You were not going to let them ruin a great restaurant for you. Tomorrow you would enjoy hanging out with everyone and hopefully get a better understanding of what the right decision is for you. For now, you’ll just enjoy your cozy home you missed so much.

The next day and a half went by fast and it was now Friday night and you were getting ready to go to dinner. You couldn’t wait to see them and get a little crazy. It’s been such a long while since you were all together like this.

You took a Uber and got to the restaurant a bit early but you were just too excited. As you were getting ready to go in, you heard Hoshi calling your name from across the street.

“Y/N! You’re early! Aren’t you a bit too excited to hang out with your favorite people in the entire world?? Simp” Hoshi yelled from across the street as Seokmin was still getting out of the Uber behind him.

“I missed this restaurant and I’m hungry. Don’t flatter yourself!” you yelled back and the three of you laughed.

Hoshi and Seokmin crossed the street and you finally hugged. You missed them so much.

“We should go in. Everyone else is already here and Shua was already texting me and being clingy. He really missed you” Seokmin said and started moving towards the entrance of the restaurant.

“Shua? You invited him? I thought it was just us” you said and your heart started beating rapidly inside your chest.

“Oh it wasn’t me, Y/N. Hoshi here invited the whole advertising team and they all accepted” Seokmin said as he smiled mischievously at Hoshi.

“Thanks, Seokmin…” Hoshi said and turned to you.

“You invited them? Why? Hoshi I wanted to hang out just us like the old days… I thought I was pretty clear…” you said and Seokmin patted Hoshi on the back and got in the restaurant leaving you both alone.

“Look, they overheard me and I felt bad not inviting them. Shua and Wonwoo talk about you all the time. They miss you too, Y/N”

“Why not invite just them then? Why everyone?” you asked. You were trying to look behind Hoshi into the restaurant but you couldn’t see the table you were all sitting at.

“Is this about Jeonghan? I thought you two were cool…” Hoshi asked as he scratched the back of his head.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I was just surprised. Thank you for getting everyone together, Hoshi”

He smiled and you both started to go into the restaurant and to the back towards your table. There were a lot of you so they placed your table at the back of the restaurant for more privacy. Also they knew your team well and how loud you could get with drinks in you so it was the overall best option for everyone.

“Stop everything! She has arrived!” Hoshi yelled as you two got to the table and almost everyone jumped.

“I will have a heart attack working with you people” someone you didn’t know spoke up and you stared at Hoshi.

“That’s our new team lead. He invited himself” Hoshi whispered to you.

“So you’re the one terrorizing these teams? Gotta say… Very impressive. Here I thought I was special but you can get everyone just as mad” you said and everyone laughed.

Jeonghan had been staring at you since the moment you walked up to the table. You could feel his eyes on you. You were trying to act normal in front of your team but you wanted to talk to him. Maybe tonight is not the best night to talk things over but you needed to at least understand if there even was a possibility of talking things over. You definitely don’t think you can come back if things are not resolved between the two of you.

Dinner with everyone was easy. Everyone was telling stories and telling you the updates for everything and you even got to know Seungkwan a bit more. He seemed like a wonderful guy. He was loud and he and Hoshi were always on each other’s nerves but if you were to come back, you could see this working well. He would make a wonderful addition as a team member.

Shua, Seungcheol and Wonwoo tried pretending to be upset with you for a bit but that all fell to pieces when you all got into your usual shenanigans. Another thing you realize now that you’re here is that you definitely neglected these three boys when you left. You completely lost touch with them and it wasn’t fair to them. You’re lucky they’re being merciful.

Silvia has gotten really close with Seokmin you can tell. It’s cute. She has always been the quiet one whenever your teams are together and it’s good to see she feels a bit more comfortable around everyone with Seokmin by her side.

Jeonghan didn’t say much throughout the dinner. He laughed sometimes and smiled but didn’t chime in much. You didn’t know what changed (if anything) in his life since you left. Maybe he was doing this on purpose. You wish you were brave enough to ask him directly in front of everyone.

As usual, Clara breaks you out of your thoughts by saying the most outrageous shit out of nowhere.

“So, Y/N… Be honest… Have you fucked that Chris guy on your team yet?”

There is a moment where everyone is silent and then a few seconds later of staring at each other everyone bursts out laughing.

“I missed your ridiculousness, Clara. Thank you, I really needed a good laugh” you said as you continued laughing.

“Oh come on! Seriously! What’s wrong with you? This guy was so fucking hot, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I went there. Almost requested a transfer instantly” Clara added and you kept laughing.

“How hot?” Sunny asked and everyone stared at her still laughing.

“Wow, I leave for a year and Sunny turns into Clara… Seungkwan, you gotta get a handle on the children” you said and Seungkwan laughed.

“Tall, muscular, Australian hunk. Sunny, literally one of the hottest men I’ve seen with my own two eyes and he was all over Y/N. I was so jealous… Why do you always get the hottest guys to be into you and you don’t even take advantage of it? Unfair” Clara answered Sunny and Sunny gasped.

“Do you have pictures?” Sunny asked.

“Of course, I have pictures of all my coworkers on my phone. Because that’s not creepy at all” you added and got up to use the restroom.

“I follow him on Instagram, let me show you” Clara said and you shook your head and continued going to the bathroom.

When you came back, Clara and Sunny were still looking at Chris’s Instagram page and drooling. They started telling you what an idiot you were for not even trying to date him and you just shrugged.

“But seriously, no boyfriends we should know about?” Shua asked and you were surprised by his question.

Everyone turned to you.

“No. Not really interested in dating at the moment. Still have a few things to resolve in that arena in my life before I even consider starting to date again” you answered honestly and you hoped Jeonghan picked up on what you were trying to say.

Shua caught that as well, smiled at you and looked at Jeonghan who was now staring at his empty plate.

Clara and Sunny booed at you and everyone moved on from that topic and continued to chat about changes or new things they purchased or hobbies they started after you left. You were trying hard to pay attention to them but you needed to talk to Jeonghan. He just didn’t seem interested in talking to you.

As you were trying to convince yourself to just go for it, Jeonghan got up and told everyone he had to leave and your heart sank. There goes your chance.

“Late date?” Clara asked as she raised her eyebrows at him and everyone laughed and started telling her off. You pretended to laugh but you didn’t find any of this funny.

“No” was all he said before saying his goodbyes and leaving. He didn’t even look at you before leaving. He was always so unfair. As far as he knows, you may never be back here again. He may never see you again. Yet, he doesn’t seem to care. He doesn’t even care enough to tell you goodbye. Maybe coming back here would be a huge mistake if this is how you’re going to feel every day.

Seokmin snapped you back from your thoughts by squeezing your hand and smiling at you. He didn’t know about you and Jeonghan but he seemed to understand your sadness at that moment while everyone else didn’t notice anything.

You thought about maybe ending the night early but that wouldn’t be fair to anyone else there so you pushed through. You also deserved to have fun with your friends. You have plenty of time to be sad when you get home.

The rest of the night went by fast. The group moved from the restaurant to a karaoke bar and everyone was having a blast. You might have had too much to drink but you needed to stop thinking about Jeonghan and focus on your friends so alcohol it is. You were going to regret this tomorrow.

And regret it you did. You woke up with a huge hangover. Your head was pounding. Why did you drink this much? Oh yeah… Jeonghan. At least everyone seemed to have enjoyed the night. You should’ve drank more water though. You got up, took an ibuprofen, showered and decided to rest more until your headache went away.

It sounded like a good plan and was going great until someone decided to ruin your entire mood by ringing your doorbell. You tried ignoring it and turned around on your bed to go back to sleep but the doorbell kept ringing.

You got up and went to the door. Whoever it was, they better be ready for a fight. You were tired, angry, sad and out of patience for any nonsense today.

You didn’t even check the peephole. You get to the door and you swing it open, ready to fight and when you finally see who’s on the other side, you stop.

“Not a good morning, Y/N?” Jeonghan asks, laughing lightly.

You sigh and gesture at him to come in.

“What gave it away? The disheveled hair? The swinging the door open?” you asked as you sat on the couch.

“The general rage, yes. Had a good time last night after I left, huh?” he asked and he joined you on the couch.

“I forgot how insane they are when they drink. I missed everyone so much that I let myself get carried away. Mistake”

You both laughed. And then there was silence. You couldn’t take this anymore. It was now or never.

“Why did you ignore me last night? You barely said anything or even looked at me. You didn’t even say goodbye. That could’ve been the last time you saw me and you didn’t even say anything. Why?” you asked him.

“I’ll never be able to say goodbye to you, Y/N. I couldn’t do it a year ago and I can’t do it now” he answered without hesitation.

You nodded.

“Why did you come here today? You didn’t seem to be interested in talking to me yesterday” you asked again.

“It wasn’t easy seeing you. After all this time. I went there because I needed to see you but I didn’t know if I should be there. If you wanted me there. I didn’t want to ruin your night but I couldn’t not go. I was being selfish”

“So you decided to leave early yesterday and come here today and ruin a whole new day for me?” you asked in a playful tone but he didn’t laugh with you.

“I wanted to see you, Jeonghan. I know I wasn’t being obvious about it yesterday but everyone was there. I didn’t want to ruin the night for them. It was the first time we were all together in a long time. I couldn’t be selfish. But I wanted to be” you added to your previous statement.

He nodded.

“Then can we talk? Right now? It’s why I came here. There’s a lot of things we need to talk about. I should’ve done this earlier. Way before last year even. I’m a coward when it comes to you” Jeonghan said.

“Yes, please” you answered and you both smiled.

“I’ve never been the smoothest guy around. The guy that can easily talk to a girl he likes. I’ve always gotten weird and acted stupid. I don’t know why. And now I would like to think I’m better but back then when we met 6 years ago, I was still that stupid kid that didn’t know how to act when he liked a girl. That’s kind of why this started. Back then, when I first saw you, I wanted to get to know you more. You were so beautiful, I still remember what you were wearing the first day we met. But you didn’t seem to notice me. At all. The only time you acknowledged me was in an interdepartmental meeting when I made a snappy comment and you started getting snarky with me. I thought this was my shot. This is how you were going to notice me” he started and you scoffed.

“So you decided to be an asshole from then on? Why not just come to me and talk to me?” you asked.

“Like I said, I was a dumb kid. I wanted your attention but I wasn’t brave enough or confident enough to simply walk up to you and start a conversation so I decided having you mad at me was better than having you not know I even existed. Things went downhill fast from there. You were hating me more and more and I was… Liking you more and more. But after a year of this dynamic, I didn’t know how to stop it and just talk to you. Seungcheol always gave me so much shit for it. He kept saying I was going to regret not having talked to you and gotten to know you the proper way. That it was going to bite me in the ass and he was right” he sighed as he continued.

So that’s what Seungcheol meant when he asked you if you didn’t know why Jeonghan treated you this way. He knew all along of Jeonghan’s feelings for you and he probably thought you knew as well, somehow.

“Y/N, I’ve had feelings for you from day one. That’s why it hurt so much hearing you say you hated me even if I brought it on myself. When you gave me a chance to have you in my arms, even if it was just that night at the party, I didn’t hesitate. I couldn’t. I had wanted you for so long. Desperate for your attention. Part of me wishes I stopped myself from having you that night. I should’ve told you the truth right there but I couldn’t risk you leaving. I was selfish that night too”

You looked down and he sighed.

You didn’t know what to say. Even though this made sense, it also didn’t. You still had so many questions. You needed to know everything. No more fear. No more being a coward.

You looked back at Jeonghan.

“Why did you sleep with Hana then? If you had feelings for me from the start?” you asked and he laughed.

“Another stupid mistake I made because of my feelings for you” he said and you raised an eyebrow at him.

“Do you remember the only year we had the Christmas party at the office? The one where the office almost got destroyed?” he asked and you nodded.

“Before that party I promised myself I was going to talk to you. Really talk. Maybe drunkenly confess my feelings for you and hope for the best. But you spent the first few hours of that party with Jackson. Smiling and laughing and having fun and I was fucking miserable watching you two. I started drinking a bit too much and when Hana came to me I thought ‘fuck it’. If you could live your life and probably end up dating Jackson, I could fuck whoever I wanted too. I didn’t really think about the consequences of sleeping with her until it was done. She told the whole office and the look of disgust you gave me when you found out was enough for me to realize that if I hadn’t ruined all my chances with you before, I definitely had then”

“You’re an idiot” you told him.

“I know” he agreed.

“Even if you regretted it afterwards, you seemed to have a good time. She said a lot of things about that night. Hard to believe you cared about me that much but fucked her that good. Or maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic that doesn’t understand fucking without feelings” you said and you looked down.

You know you wanted the truth but you had forgotten how much the truth could hurt.

“You fucked me and you hated me though” he said and you scoffed.

“You really are an idiot…” you said and sighed.

He looked at you with a puzzled look in his eyes.

“Don’t look so confused. I’ll explain my side soon. Continue” you told him.

“About what she said, it was all lies. I may have been drunk but I remember that night clearly. It was terrible. I didn’t even put in an effort. I didn’t care. I was picturing you the whole time, I’m actually surprised I didn’t say your name. Probably because nothing felt good. I just wanted to get it over with. When we were done, I left immediately without even saying a word to her. I was disgusted with myself. I went to sleep that night hoping you would never find out about it. You know I’m like you, I know you’ve heard it around the office too. I don’t just fuck people, I don’t do the fuck buddy thing. I’ve always been looking for the real deal. I will always regret that night” he said and you started to understand him a bit more, but there were still a couple of things on your mind when it came to Hana.

“Why let her hang around you all the time at the office? If you were mad about her telling everyone and if you really weren’t interested, why let her follow you around and grab you whenever she wants?” you asked.

He smiled at you.

“The first time she did it in front of you, it seemed like you were jealous. I didn’t know if it was wishful thinking on my part, but the look in your eye when she started touching me gave me hope. Again, I’m an idiot, I know” he answered and now it actually made you laugh lightly.

“Can’t argue with that” you said and he laughed with you.

“Last question about her and I think you know what’s coming” you said and he sighed and nodded.

“If all of this is true, what happened when I met you both at the restaurant? She said you were on a date. Why?”

“This one is actually an easy one to answer. We were never on a date. Woozi in IT invited me out for dinner and drinks to join their team dinner since I wasn’t doing so well and I agreed. When the time of the dinner came, everyone else canceled except her so I was stuck with her. Not sure if it was her plan all along but I know Woozi wouldn’t do that to me so I guess it worked in her favor somehow. I decided to stay because I was hungry and tired and wanted a drink and then we ran into you. When she said it was a date, I really wanted to say something different but the look in your eyes… I knew I needed to explain myself outside of that situation. You weren’t going to let me do it there specially since you were late for your team dinner”

He does know you well. You would’ve left either way that night. What you still don’t understand is why he didn’t tell you all of this before you left.

“Why didn’t you tell me all of this? Why did you let me leave thinking you were fucking me while dating her?” you finally asked.

“Before that restaurant situation, you had been distancing yourself from me. I didn’t know why but I was too scared to find out. I thought maybe you were done. With us. With me. I didn’t think you would want to hear anything from me anymore. And when you also didn’t reach out or asked for an explanation about Hana, I thought that meant you didn’t care. I thought you didn’t care if I was dating her or not because we were just fucking. I thought if I reached out and told you the truth, you were going to tell me it was just sex. That it was never more than that between us. I didn’t want to hear that”

“So you let me leave? No goodbye. No explanation. Just a text. How do you think I felt when you did that?” you asked with tears in your eyes now.

“I know how much I fucked up. After sending that text and staring at my phone, I realized I would rather let you know the whole truth even if it meant you rejecting me than this. I drove to your place but when I got there, you were gone” he added and he also had tears in his eyes now.

“Why didn’t you ever call me? Or even texted me? Why not tell me all of this even if I was away?” you asked him as you cried softly.

“I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me. You had this new life now in a different city with new people. I thought you were over whatever happened with us”

“I spent this whole year thinking about you” you said and he nodded sadly.

There was a silence in the room with you now.

He had told you the whole truth. Since the very first day. No more hiding.

It was your turn now but you didn’t even know where to start so you told him just that.

“Thank you for telling me this now. I also have some explaining to do but I don’t even know where to start…”

“From the beginning. From when we met, please. I need to know” Jeonghan told you and you agreed.

“I thought you were the most beautiful human I’d ever seen. When we first met. I’m also not the best at talking to people I like. I usually don’t, at all. I stay away and just enjoy the person from afar. It seems easier than being rejected. Adding that to how obsessed I was with the company and being hired there, I guess it would have seemed like I didn’t notice you at all. But I did. Which is why I was so pissed every time you were an asshole to me. Not only was the career I dreamed of taking a hit but the guy I had a crush on apparently wanted to destroy my career” you said and laughed.

He laughed with you.

You were both idiots.

“After that, I accepted that you just hated me. I had to move on or I would end up breaking my own heart. So I told myself that I hated you. I would hate you from then on and treat you exactly like you were treating me. I spent years avoiding what I really felt about you. It seemed easier that way. I needed to focus on my career and ignore whatever was going on with you. It was the smartest decision for me” you told him and continued.

“I didn’t realize all of this until I left though. Being away and getting a therapist helped me realize all of my feelings for you. Made me understand what I did wrong and what I wish I could change. Distancing myself from you after our last night here was a huge mistake. But at the time I was confused. I still thought I didn’t like you at all so how could I let you in here. I didn’t want to see the truth. I wasn’t ready for it. It’s easier now, even if it hurts, knowing exactly what my feelings for you are” you added.

“Is that why you didn’t say anything after the restaurant incident?” he asked you.

“Yeah. I had already been distant from you trying to sort out my feelings and when I saw you with her I made my decision. Maybe it was best if we stopped whatever it was we were doing. Then when we didn’t speak after that and my manager gave me the option to leave, again, it seemed easier than trying to deal with everything. I used my career as an excuse but I just wasn’t ready to face this. I am now” you answered.

You were trying to explain everything to him but sometimes it’s hard to put all of this in words. It’s been 6 years of confusion and misunderstandings. Where do you go from here?

“I don’t want to ask this but what about Jackson? What happened at the Christmas party?” he asked and it surprised you.

“Honestly I don’t even remember that party at all. I don’t remember spending that much time with Jackson. I never liked him and I always knew he was just trying to fuck me. I was nice to him at first but I guess over time I lost patience and that’s why now it may be more obvious of how not interested I am” you told him and he nodded.

“And Chris?” he asked in a more hushed voice.

You laughed.

“Chris is a great guy. And he has told me he’s interested in me. I told him no. I still had things from my past to sort out and wasn’t interested. He understood. We’re friends. Sure, he still hopes one day I’ll give him a chance but I already told him many times not to wait for that” you said and he smiled.

You smiled too.

You weren’t sure if there was anything else he wanted to know but it seems most of your past issues have been explained on both sides. Past has been resolved in a way. But what about the future? Is there a future? You’re trying to figure out how to ask this question when he interrupts your thoughts.

“What about now? What happens now? You’re still living far away, it would be tricky but I want to see you again. And a lot more. Maybe we can go back to how things were between us…” Jeonghan said and the last part he said with more nervousness in his tone.

Thing is… He still didn’t say what his feelings were. He said he liked you but that could mean anything. Now he wants to go back to how things were? No… That’s not what you want at all. You thought you had been clear.

“No, I don’t want to go back to how things were. I know that for sure” you told him and his smile fell from his face.

“Oh… Hmm… Okay… I thought that was what we both wanted. I guess I got that wrong” he said as he started to get up from the couch and move towards the door.

“Wait, where are you going? You didn’t let me finish” you said as you followed behind him.

“No, I get it. I thought things could go back to that but they can’t. We’ve been hurting each other for so long. I wouldn’t want to be with me either. Sorry. I should go. I’m meeting Seungcheol for lunch but thanks for listening to me” he said as he left your apartment.

You were left alone, in the middle of your living room, confused and staring at your door.

‘What the hell just happened?’ you asked yourself. You thought the conversation was going well. You were both reaching an agreement so why would he leave. He didn’t even let you explain what you meant when you said you didn’t want things to go back to the way things were. Was that all he wanted from this? To explain everything and then go back to just fucking each other? Why was he always so confusing? Things between two people aren’t supposed to be this difficult. You can’t even hold a conversation without misunderstandings. How was this ever going to work?

You were left confused and wondering what any of it meant for the both of you.

The rest of the weekend went by fast. You met up with some of the guys for lunch and just to hang out and Sunday came fast. Before you knew it, it was time to leave again. You couldn’t leave without trying to understand what went wrong and what you said that made Jeonghan leave so abruptly. You decided to call him. He didn’t answer so you texted him.

“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you and do this on short notice but I would really like to see you before I have to leave today. I feel like our conversation ended and you left on another misunderstanding. Can you please, make some time for me today? I have to leave by 6PM, the latest. I’m free the rest of the day. Let me know, okay?”

Nothing.

He didn’t answer the text. He never called you back.

It was 6:30PM and you were still in your apartment staring at your phone, waiting for him.

Crying, you pick up your bags and get ready to leave.

This would never work. He is unable to resolve things by talking. He always runs away from you. You would end up getting your heart broken in the future.

Not that your heart isn’t broken right now. You opened up to him and told him the whole truth and somehow he chose to listen to the wrong thing and leave. This time you were proud of yourself though. You reached out to him and you tried to resolve everything before having to leave again. It was his choice to not listen. There’s only so much you can do. Relationships are a two way street. You can’t keep fighting for something while the other person simply gives up and walks away. It’s exhausting and you will always end up in tears.

Maybe this was for the best.

That four hour drive was done listening to sad songs and trying to tell yourself you’ll be just fine. You still had no fucking clue of what you wanted to do. Even though you had an amazing time with everyone including the new guy, this situation with Jeonghan might prove to be a little too much for you to handle.

You needed to sleep on this and hope your boss didn’t ask you for your answer first thing in the morning.

The next day you went to work and went back to normal. The usual meetings, usual coachings, usual schedule. It felt normal.

By the end of the day you still didn’t know what to do. You missed everything about the other branch, city and people. But you didn’t know if your heart could take any more hits. Going back there wasn’t going to be easy.

You were split.

It was the end of the day and you were packing up to go home. Your boss hasn’t mentioned it at all. You talked about work during the day and he checked-in with you and the team but he didn’t ask you anything else. You felt relieved. Maybe he would give you more time before making a final decision.

As you reached for the door of your office to leave, there’s a knock.

It was your boss.

Fuck. You knew it was too good to be true.

“Hey again, Y/N. Going home?” he asked you.

“Yup. Not a fan of overtime especially when the work's all done” you told him and you both laughed.

“Look, I don’t want to pressure you but we have their branch breathing down our necks. They need an answer asap. I assume you don’t have one yet since you didn’t talk to me about it but just a heads up, they might contact you directly if you take too long deciding” he let you know and you sighed.

“I want to go back. Nothing against this branch but it’s just a bit too slow paced for me. You’re a great manager and I’ve really enjoyed my time here but it’s been difficult adjusting even to my apartment. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier today. Not gonna lie, before this moment, I had no clue what I wanted but as soon as you asked me I knew what the answer was” you answered him and he laughed.

“I get it. You and that team are the dream team. Hard to move on from that when that’s what you love. I don’t hold it against you. We can let the team here know tomorrow so that you can start helping Chris with stepping into the role, is that okay?”

“Of course but this soon? When do I have to leave by?” you asked a bit surprised on how fast this was moving.

“They want you back there asap. I don’t blame them either. I’ll let them know of your decision and let’s say two weeks? Would that be enough time for Chris to get prepared? What do you think as his current team lead?”

“That’s more than enough time. Like I told you before, Chris was already aware and saw me do a lot of the team lead’s tasks. It should be an easy adjustment for him” you said and he nodded.

“Alright, then! Have a good night and we’ll meet with your team first thing in the morning” your manager told you as he walked out with you.

“One more thing… Can we not tell the team over there? I wanted to surprise them, if that’s okay?” you asked your manager and he laughed again.

“I’m okay with it. Let me ask them over there and I’ll let you know tomorrow, yeah?” he answered you and you nodded.

You got to your apartment, sat down on the couch and started laughing.

You have no idea what came over you but when your manager asked what you wanted to do, you couldn’t help but say you wanted to go back. This whole thing with Jeonghan won’t be easy and you will hurt but at least you’ll be around the people you love most in the world, in your comfy home that you love so much.

You couldn’t wait to leave.

The next two weeks went by so slow. Every day seemed to drag on forever. This was how bad you wanted to go back.

Your team was sad but they understood your decision and they were also super excited about having Chris step up.

You spent those two weeks helping Chris and preparing him for the role and by the end he was full on taking care of the team while you shadowed along. Maybe that’s why the days went by even slower at the end. You were watching Chris do your job and reporting to your manager but you weren’t doing much more.

Your manager was able to convince the other branch about keeping this a secret for now. Seungkwan was informed and he also promised to not say anything since he knew what this meant for you all. He may have only spent that one night around all of you but it was clear to him you belonged there with the team and that he still had a lot to learn before stepping up at that branch.

It was difficult not to say anything in the group chat specially since your team figured out some moves in the team were going to happen but they just didn’t know what and they kept talking about it and speculating. They were suspicious it had to do with Seungkwan since they all filed the same complaint with HR but they weren’t sure since Seungkwan wouldn’t tell them either.

The day before you left you had dinner with Chris and the boys to say goodbye. They were a great team, really. You just didn’t belong here with them. You hoped the best for them and you knew Chris would grow a lot more in the future if he kept working the way he had.

The next day you drove home. Home. Felt good to say and to think about. You couldn’t wait to get there.

You had to be careful once you got there though. You didn’t want to get caught and be told on before Monday. Clara lives very close to you so grocery shopping was going to be a risk but you had to risk it because there was no way you weren’t going to cook and enjoy some nice home cooked meals.

Those days went by fast and so far no one had found out you were back and would be back working at the branch.

When you got to the office, you went straight to your manager’s office and as soon as you walked in, you two shared a huge hug. She had missed you just as much as you had missed her. Having another woman team lead to fight Jeonghan’s manager was much needed since he had been on a whole other level after you left.

Part of you thinks your manager asked the whole office to join the meeting so that she could rub it in his face that you were back permanently to make his life hell if needed.

The time for the meeting was finally here and your heart was beating fast. You’re excited to see your team’s reaction but also you can’t deny that you want to see how Jeonghan reacts.

How can something so simple be so terrifying?

When everyone was gathered in the big conference room, your manager started the meeting by saying there would be a few changes happening in the marketing team. She kept her speech short and gave Seungkwan the floor.

“So as you guys know, I transferred here from a much slower branch. When I was team lead there things were very different. I adjusted well and got along well with everyone. Here, things have been tricky. Even though I get along with my team on a personal level, things have been less than ideal on a professional level. When all of this became clear to all of us, I was approached by my manager and I was informed I was going to be replaced here as team lead. I could either choose to stay here as a member of the marketing team, or go back to my previous branch as team lead” he paused then and everyone started looking around in confusion. Probably because they knew you were the team lead at that branch so what did this all mean?

“Well, I chose to stay here as a team member. I wanted to learn from the new team lead whoever that was. Initially I didn’t know who that was. The final decision hadn’t been made but once I found out who it was, I was incredibly happy to be working and learning from her. I don’t want to prolong this anymore than I already have so let’s all please, welcome the new team lead for our marketing team!” he said and started clapping.

Everyone else joined and started to look around trying to find the person who was replacing Seungkwan.

You got in the room from behind your manager and as soon as Hoshi’s eyes landed on you, he ran to you and picked you up while screeching like an insane bird.

“Put me down, you maniac!” you said and as soon as he did everyone from your team ran up to hug you.

“Better surprise than last time?” you asked and they all nodded.

You were all in your little world and your manager interrupted you.

“Not to ruin this family reunion but do you have a few words for everyone?” she asked.

“I’m not very good at these things as you probably found out last time so I don’t have a lot to say. It was a good experience over there but not enough for me professionally. Also I missed my team and my home. And now I’m back so I’m looking forward to working and/or fighting some of you” you said and everyone laughed.

You found Jeonghan in the back behind everyone. He had a blank expression on his face and as soon as your manager told everyone they could go, he was the first one out the door.

You were disappointed but not surprised. This reaction was very him.

Shua, Wonwoo and Seungcheol ran up to you and welcomed you back. Told you they missed you. Silvia was a bit more chill about it but you could tell she was happy mostly because Seokmin was happy to have you back. You’ll take it either way.

From then on everything went back to normal. Usual team meetings, usual interdepartmental meetings, usual lunch with everyone. After three weeks, it felt like you had never left. Seungkwan was a great addition to your team just like you thought. He may have not been ready for the team lead position but he was an extraordinary team member to your team.

Everything went back to what it was supposed to be. You were so happy to be back even if things with Jeonghan stayed the same. He never answered that text and never called you back and ever since you came back, he never spoke to you. You talked during meetings but about work only. He seemed to have found a good balance of being an asshole and simply accepting your teams’ proposals when they made perfect sense. Everything was going great but somehow, when you were alone in your office and at home, you still felt empty.

Right now you were in your office, looking out the window. The day has been going okay so far, you just didn’t feel good. It seems the more time passes like this between you and Jeonghan, the worse you feel every single day.

As you were almost falling asleep in your chair staring out the window, there was a knock at your door. You asked them to come in and to your surprise, Shua walks through the door.

“May I come in and sit? Do you have a few minutes to chat, Y/N?”

“Hmm… Yeah, go ahead. Surprisingly, it’s been a slow day. What do you need to talk to me about? Is it about the Privé campaign proposal?”

“Actually it’s not work related. It’s personal” he said and you started to get nervous.

You gulped.

“Okay” was all you said.

“Look, I don’t know how your conversation went the last time you were here before you moved back but he’s been miserable since then. From what I can tell so far, you haven’t been doing much better so forgive my intrusion but what the hell happened that day?” Shua asked and you just broke down.

You started sobbing. He locked your office door and came back to you to hug you.

You got up from the chair and you both moved to the couch in your office.

“Sorry” you said as he handed you the tissue box from your desk before sitting back down again next to you.

“I don’t know what happened. We were talking and then he just left out of nowhere. Then Sunday I asked him to meet with me so we could fix whatever misunderstanding this was and he ignored both my call and text. He hasn’t spoken to me since that day. I wanted to know what made him leave but he won’t give me the chance” you told him and you tried to stop crying.

“He told me you confessed to him and then turned him down. It didn’t make sense to me at the time but he’s sure you rejected him” Shua said and you looked back at him confused.

“I didn’t reject him, Shua. I told him no when he asked if things could go back to the way they were before with us because that’s not what I want. I… Have feelings for him. Why would I want to go back to being fuck buddies or whatever the fuck we were before?” you asked and you hoped he would understand what you meant.

“You love him and you wanted a relationship… You weren’t rejecting him, you were rejecting being fuck buddies…” he said as he looked around and scoffed.

“Love is a strong word” you told him and sighed.

“Is it though? Look at you two. You’re both miserable and for what? You should be together, Y/N. How much longer are you going to keep hurting each other?” he asked and you got offended.

“Hurting each other? He’s the one that keeps making shit decisions and not listening to me. Even when I reach out to him, he pushes me away. He’s the one constantly breaking my heart and I’m the one stupid enough to keep letting him” you said as you got up back to your desk.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound that way. I’m just tired of watching you both fight this. I know you’re tired of trying and being the one pushing but maybe you should do it one last time. Tell him what you told me and make sure he understands you can’t be the only one fighting for the two of you. That he can’t run away any time he thinks he heard something he doesn’t like”

“Is it worth it, Shua? To keep fighting? There’s always been misunderstandings between us, something always happens to break us apart. Maybe it’s a sign we just shouldn’t be together. Being with someone shouldn’t be this difficult. I know a good relationship means hard work but this is too much. I can’t keep fighting for someone who just runs away every time. Just avoids the issue and ignores me. No relationship can survive that”

“I’m a firm believer that nothing good comes easy. You have to put in the work. And I know he fucked up more than once and you’ve been the one carrying all of this but are you really going to let him go just because of this? A silly misunderstanding about him not getting you wanted a relationship? Think about it. He’s a literal man, Y/N. He needs things spelled out to him most times, specially when it comes to the person he loves most in the world. You’ve been through so much together that his mind just picks the negative and runs. It’s not your fault but if you think this relationship could be the real deal, try one more time. Tell him everything. Clearly, with no room for misunderstandings”

You nodded and he nodded back.

He got up to leave and as he was unlocking your office door and leaving he turned back.

“Just think about it, please, Y/N” he said and left.

When you got home that night, it was all you could think about.

You wish you could ask someone. You had never told anyone about you and Jeonghan so you didn’t have anyone to talk to about this and share their opinion. You didn’t know if you should either. This is a decision you need to make by yourself.

You spent the night thinking it over and you decided it was time to be brave and grow up. You wouldn’t do this through text or call. Tomorrow morning you were going straight to his office and you’re going to lay your cards on the table. You’re going to tell him what an asshole he is and that this is his last chance. If he wants it, he’ll have to put in the work from now on. No more running. No more ignoring you. Open communication or it’s not even worth starting anything back up between the two of you.

You couldn’t sleep very well. You woke up nervous and angry. You rushed to the office so you could be there early and talk to him before the day started. But of course, nothing ever goes to plan when it comes to Jeonghan, and your manager called you in to talk about the new accounts that were joining the company and what you and your team should expect from them.

By the time you and your manager were done with that small meeting, everyone was already in the office and working hard. Shit. Should you do this now or later? Fuck it, you need this to be over with. You can’t suffer like this anymore.

You went to his office and of course, the first thing you are greeted with is Hana with her paws all over him, twirling his tie in her hand and laughing. He looked bored. He was leaning against his desk. He still let her do it though and you were beyond angry.

You knocked on his open door and cleared your throat.

He looked up and when he saw it was you, he gulped and tried moving away from Hana.

“Can’t you see we’re busy?” Hana asked you with disdain.

You’re being tested. ‘Please, do not choose murder, please. Stay calm’ you told yourself as you walked in his office towards them.

“Hands off and fuck off, Hana. Don’t you have work to do? As far as I know this is a fucking office so act professional and not like a hormonal teenager or I’ll report you to your team lead and to HR” you told her and she gasped.

Jeonghan just kept looking between the two of you and removed his tie from her hand.

“Jeonghan, say something!” she said as she turned to him and crossed her arms.

You looked at Jeonghan with a tilted head and raised your eyebrows.

“Get out, Hana. Go back to work. You shouldn’t have been here in the first place” he told her as he finally moved away from her completely and sat down on his desk chair.

She scoffed, flipped her hair, looked you up and down and finally left.

You closed his office door behind her and turned back to him.

“Am I just going to have to see that forever or do you plan on telling her to stop it anytime soon? I guess old habits die hard, huh?” you asked as you sat down in front of him.

“I’m sorry” was all he told you.

“Getting fucking sick of hearing that. I need to talk to you and you seem to ignore me through text and phone calls and even around here so you left me no choice. Do you have time now or do you want me to leave?” you asked and he stayed silent.

“Just know that if you tell me to leave, it will be the last fucking time I’ll give you the chance to push me away, so choose wisely” you continued and waited for his answer.

He continued to stay silent.

So be it.

You got up and started to leave his office.

“Stop, please. I’m sorry. Stay. Yes. Let’s talk” he said as he grabbed your hand and pulled you back, closer to him.

“I’m going to make this simple. Joshua talked to me yesterday. He told me you said I rejected you. You really need to start listening to what I say, Jeonghan. I didn’t reject you or your feelings. What I told you was that I did not want to go back to being fuck buddies. I wanted more for us. But you didn’t let me say that. You just got up and left with an assumption that I was rejecting you” you said and you could see the cogs starting to turn in his brain. He was realizing he had fucked up yet again.

“And because I was confused and didn’t understand why you left the way you did, I reached out to you. I wanted to talk it over before I left. I wanted to make everything clear between us and you ignored me again. I waited for you in my home and you didn’t even text back. That really fucking hurt” you continued and you started to cry now.

“You know that weekend I had already been given a choice to either stay there or come back here. After what happened with us, after you broke my heart again, I almost stayed there. But I chose to come back because I was always happier here. Whatever was going on with us, I couldn’t let that stop me so I came back. And you didn’t give a shit. You were the first to leave the meeting and you haven’t spoken a word to me in weeks”

You were getting angrier now. He needed to understand this was his absolute last chance and you were going to make sure you got through to him.

“When Shua talked to me yesterday, he said I should try one more time. Telling you everything clearly so that were no more misunderstandings. I didn’t want to. I can’t be the only one fighting and pushing through the misunderstandings. We can’t keep having these misunderstandings. I deserve better than getting hurt all the time because you won’t talk to me. You just run and ignore the issue and break both of our hearts. You need to choose, Jeonghan. Either you start taking responsibility and we start a mature relationship where we talk to each other about everything that is bothering us or maybe, if you don’t think it’s worth it or you’re not strong enough, we just end everything now. Completely. We’ll be nothing more than coworkers”

This was it.

You were done.

He had all the information he needed to make his choice.

No more ambiguity, no more uncertainty. He needed to choose to either fight for your relationship and stop being scared or let you go.

“You don’t have to answer me right now but--”

He stopped you from talking by kissing you.

His hands were holding your face as he kissed you and you kissed him right back.

You missed him so much. He was such an asshole for torturing you both.

He backed you both up against the back wall of his office and he kept kissing you hard.

You stayed like that for a while. Until your phone started to ring in your pocket.

It was Hoshi. He probably couldn’t find you and he needed you.

“I need to go” you whispered against his lips and he kissed you again.

You started laughing.

“Seriously, I have to go. That’s a yes on the relationship then?” you asked, still holding him.

“Fuck yes, absolutely. I will never let you down again, that’s a fucking promise, angel”

“It better be. Let’s take it slow, yeah? I know that’s a bit of a cliché but I want us to start fresh. Going on dates, getting to know each other. Since we’re both hopeless romantics after all” you said and you both smiled.

“Anything you want, angel”

You left his office and met with Hoshi who was freaking out about something Seungkwan had said. These two will drive you insane but nothing matters right now. All you can think about is Jeonghan. You wondered how things were going to progress between you two from now on.

After a few weeks, you and Jeonghan were doing great. He started by leaving you coffee on your desk every morning with a note and he always checked on you during the day. You had lunch together every day (with your teams but still) and he took you out on dates almost every day.

It may have been too much for some people but you wanted to spend as much time with him as possible and he felt the same. You had dinner together almost every day and you spent the weekends together. You had gone to amusement parks, gone on hikes, you had picnics by the river and so many other good things.

You were slowly getting to know each other and your feelings for him were growing more and more every day. You hoped he felt the same way.

You had been honest with each other about everything. You told him you needed him to put a stop to Hana following him around and being all over him. It made you uncomfortable and he agreed that was a door he needed to close permanently for both of you but also for Hana’s sake. So she could move on. He always talked to you every time he felt insecure or scared and you helped him through it. Your dynamic stayed the same. Always challenging each other and being snarky but you both loved it that way.

You had even met each others’ families already. It was funny watching your families react to you and him dating. You both talked so much shit about each other to your families that everyone was confused when you told them. His sister seemed to be the only one that knew this was exactly how you and him were going to end up.

There were a few things you haven’t done so far. You haven’t told anyone in the office, well except Shua and Seungcheol. And, you haven’t slept together yet. It just didn’t happen. You had been so focused on doing things right and getting to know him that that part hadn’t really been on your mind too much. You already knew that side of him and sure, you missed it but you didn’t want to rush anything. He seemed to feel the same way since he hadn’t made any moves towards that at all. You also haven’t told each other those three words. You wanted to. You knew you loved him. It was clear. It had been clear for a while but you were still scared about that. He hasn’t said them either which has surprised you so far but you understand. He’s probably just as scared as you are.

Next Friday was the regularly scheduled end of quarter party at your company. It was at the usual place, at the usual time and you wanted to be able to enjoy it with Jeonghan but the office still doesn’t know so you decided to ask him about it.

You went to his office during the day and brought it up.

“I was thinking… Maybe we can tell people… In the office… I wanted to go with you to the party and I can’t do that if we keep hiding this…”

“I would like that very much. I’ve wanted to do that since day one, angel”

You smiled and kissed him.

He pulled you closer to stand between his legs and you made a bolder move and straddled him on his desk chair while you kept kissing.

He pulled away from you and held your face with his hands. You moved to kiss him again and he laughed and stopped you.

“Hey… Look at me, angel…”

You stared into his eyes deeply.

“I love you, Y/N” he said and he gulped. He was nervous. It was the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your fucking life. You smiled hard.

“I love you too, Jeonghan”

He smiled just as hard as you and he started to kiss you again. Hard. One of his hands had now moved to your ass and he was pushing you on his cock. He was hard. You telling him you loved him back got him hard. That was fucking hot.

Your kiss started to get more and more heated but neither of you could stop. Not now knowing that you loved each other. Finally hearing it from each others lips was the last straw and you got reminded of how much you missed fucking him. You could feel how desperate he was for you too and you both just couldn’t stop what was happening, neither did you want to.

“Y/N, we need your approval on this. Can you--”

Hoshi and your team barged into Jeonghan’s office and you jumped away from Jeonghan so fast. But not fast enough. Jeonghan started laughing and moving his chair towards his desk to cover his very prominent boner.

You were all silent. Hoshi, Seokmin and Seungkwan looked horrified while Clara and Sunny were smirking behind them.

“Hey, what’s going on? Why is everyone just standing here?” Joshua asked as he walked by Jeonghan’s office and saw the crowd.

He looked into the office and immediately realized you two had been caught red-handed.

“Oh… You should really lock your doors, guys” he said as he laughed and Jeonghan laughed with him. You affectionately slapped his shoulder for him to stop.

“I need to go wash my eyes” Hoshi said but didn’t move.

“I knew it! I mean I didn’t know it but very nice, Y/N. We have to talk” Clara added and Sunny laughed and nodded.

You rolled your eyes and smiled.

“This isn’t how I wanted you to find out. We were actually going to tell you about it today” you said.

“Before or after you defiled his office?” Seokmin asked you and everyone laughed.

“Definitely after” Jeonghan answered and you were ready to kick his ass.

“Come on, let’s get back to work. We can talk about it later” you said and started to leave. You gestured at your team to follow you.

“Oh we’re talking now, screw work” Sunny said and everyone agreed.

“This is why I didn’t tell you sooner” you added and they all laughed.

You told them the truth about everything with you and Jeonghan. Except what Clara and Sunny wanted to know. That, you didn’t say shit about. They were not happy about it.

Nothing changed from then on out. Everyone knew but it didn’t change any dynamic. Just some added jokes about you two angry fucking each other after your usual disagreements at interdepartmental meetings.

You also informed HR about your relationship and followed all the right steps. Soon enough, everyone at the office knew. Most people were surprised but nice about it. There were a few that were angry and doing their best to ruin your relationship either by creating rumors or trying to get in between you two. Hana and Jackson. Jackson was being an asshole but he wasn’t pushing anyones boundaries or creating issues. Hana on the other hand, was trying her best to ruin this for you two.

She started rumors about him still fucking her. She constantly tried to touch him and follow him around. It was frustrating but all you could do was report her to HR and move on. It had only been a few days but she was working hard trying to break you two up. It didn’t matter. You trusted Jeonghan and he always stopped her and her rumors whenever he heard them. You two agreed she would eventually stop. This was still fresh to everyone and she needed to get it out of her system.

You and Jeonghan were really good now and nothing she could do would change that.

Friday came fast and you were excited. This quarter was a rollercoaster but you were happy to be back here at this branch with the people you loved, in your home that you loved so much as well.

Jeonghan joined you and Clara in the Uber and you met up with everyone there.

You sat at the same table you had last time, with the same people, but so much has changed.

This time around, you were in love with the one you claimed to hate before. You were here with him and you were going to enjoy this completely.

Everyone was drinking and having fun. Dinner and the awards started and it was just as fun as you remembered. You had gone to a few end of quarter parties at the other branch and you never had this much fun. This was the best. This was where you belonged. With these people. With this team. With him. You were so happy right now, words couldn’t begin to explain it.

The awards had just ended and they were getting ready for the DJ set to start and you decided to get a refill on your drink.

When you came back to the table, Jeonghan wasn’t there. You checked your phone just in case and he had texted you.

“Join me. You know where”

You smiled and got up to go meet Jeonghan in the room you first started this whole thing in.

You walked in and locked the door behind you.

Jeonghan was sitting on the sofa by the window that you sat on last time. He was in the dark again, just like last time.

You walked towards him and sat down on the opposite end of the sofa, looking out the window.

He looked at you and you smiled still staring at the window.

“Getting sentimental, baby?” you asked, still looking out the window.

“Hopeless romantic. Remember, angel?” he asked and you laughed.

You looked at him and you stayed there looking at each other silently for a while until he sat up.

“Come closer, angel. You’re too far away from me”

You moved closer to him. As close as you could. He pushed your hair behind your ear and kissed you. Softly. Like he was scared you were going to break. This felt different. He was trying to show you in actions how he felt about you. You kissed him back and held his free hand in yours.

He started to deepen the kiss and you let him.

You moved to lay down and pulled him with you.

He was on top of you kissing you and you locked your legs around his waist.

You were already wet and he was hard. It had been too long since you had been together like this. You were being desperate for him and you knew he felt the same.

You reached down and started stroking his cock through his clothes and he whined.

“Don’t play with me, angel” he told you as he stopped kissing you.

You continued to stroke him through his clothes and he was panting and moaning into your mouth. You bit your lip. He was so sexy. You were losing your mind.

He pulled your hand away from his cock and pushed your dress up your body.

Jeonghan took your panties off and put them in his jacket pocket. From his other jacked pocket, he took out a condom and threw his jacket on the floor.

He moved down and kissed your thighs and your mound. Close to where you wanted him but not quite there. After a while of this, he started to leave bruises on your thighs. Fuck, you were wetter and wetter.

“I can see you clenching around nothing, angel. Are you that desperate for me?”

“Yes… Hannie, please… No more waiting…” you told him breathlessly.

“Fuck…”

He got up from the sofa and took his pants and underwear off. He moved back to the sofa and started fingering you slowly. He kept kissing your neck and all you did was moan and run your hands through his hair. He started scissoring his fingers inside you. He was impatient and you both knew it had been a while. He wanted to be inside you now and he needed to make sure he wasn’t going to hurt you.

“I love you” you moaned.

He stopped kissing your neck and kissed your lips deeply again. More forceful this time around.

He pulled away.

“I love you too, Y/N”

He put the condom on and started to tease your hole with his cock.

You whined.

“I don’t want to hurt you, angel. It’s been a while. Let me know if it’s too much, yeah?”

“Just get inside me, please… You’re driving me crazy, Hannie”

“Will you be a good angel for me then?”

“Always” you moaned and he pushed the head of his cock inside of you.

He was going slow. Rubbing circles on your clit, kissing you and with every stroke he pushed more of his cock inside you.

You started getting louder as he got deeper inside you.

“Not gonna gag me this time?” you asked and he laughed.

He moved closer to your lips.

“Let them hear it” he whispered and you both laughed together.

You pulled him down for a kiss and he pushed his cock all the way in until he bottomed out. You were moaning together against each other's lips.

After a few seconds, he started his pace.

Short, deep strokes, hitting the right spot. He knew your body so well. He still remembered exactly what to do to drive you crazy.

You were both loud. Moaning and panting. Not giving a shit about anyone outside of that room.

He grabbed one of your hands and interlaced it with his.

He kept fucking you hard and whispering how much he loved you. You whispered and moaned it back to him.

You were both close and you knew it.

He increased the pace of his fingers on your clit and increased the pace of his strokes as well.

You started squeezing his cock and you could feel yourself closer and closer.

Jeonghan squeezed your hand and moved to whisper in your ear.

He told you he loved you but when he said he would never let you go again, it pushed you over the edge and you came. Hard. It felt different this time. More tangible. Stronger.

When you came down from your high, his strokes were slower and he was looking in your eyes.

You pulled him in to lay on top of you and held him impossibly close.

Much like he did to you, you whispered in his ear and told him how much you loved him. That you wanted to be in his arms forever. And he emptied himself into the condom with a moan of your name.

This time around you laid there together. Just holding each other.

There was no rush. No weirdness. Just two people that loved each other and had finally found their way back to each other.

You didn’t know what was going to happen in the future.

You knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Nothing ever is with Jeonghan. But it certainly is worth it.

As you lay there with him you start thinking about the day you left.

About how you thought you were both just passing through each other's lives.

At that time it seemed that way.

He was just a boy creating chaos in your life for a while and you were just a girl that left and used your career as an excuse.

Now you know how wrong you were. How sad and miserable your life would have been without him in it. Without him with you. Just like this. Every day.

You know that from now on, you weren’t just another person passing through each other’s lives. You were everything in each other’s lives. You were both where you belonged.

With each other. Always together, and never to be apart again.

IT’S FINALLY HERE AND IT’S A MONSTER AGAIN Another rollercoaster of emotions 😭 I hope you love this as much as I loved writing it 💕 As usual, please let me know in the comments and such if you enjoyed reading it <3 Thank you for supporting me! Happy holidays! 🎆 CHEERS 🥂

Taglist (if you requested specifically): @woofie-nctzen-fanarts, @lovrchl, @lockburn-castle, @luchiet, @deeznutzaintnutting, @cheesytangerine, @avocifera, @odetoyeonjun, @listxn, @gyubbgist, @cvpidxo, @leicy0756, @sunflowergyeomie, @whore4stucky9104, @bangtanskz, @cecefarm, @staurdvst, @haahydvhkmhhn, @tsukkisdoll, @miniseokminnies, @namjinsworld

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chrollohearttags · 24 days

Text

french tips • sanji x black!fem reader

your new nail tech suddenly becomes your favorite after an appointment you’ll never forget!

nail tech!sanji, modern au, him being a gentleman ofc (he’s not a perv in this, hadn't watched the live action but from clips, taz seems a lot more charming so that’s who i'm going with! 😭) massage, handjob, foot and nipple play, service dom, fingering, squirting, calls reader miss + my dear, praise kink, says good girl a couple times, sanji has a tongue ring

word count: 2.5K

whoever sent this idea, thank you for your contribution. I don’t know if you are being serious or facetious but either way, you have awoken something in me. sanji fuckers, come get y’all’s juice!!

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you were a little hesitant…downright apprehensive even. You’d been coming to this shaking for years and each time, you sat in the same chair, got nearly the same services and entrusted your beauty needs to the same hands. “I’m sorry, (y/n). She’s on vacation right now and won’t be back for at least three weeks.” “I understand but I wish she would’ve told me before I booked the appointment..” you were flustered and rather frustrated to boot..you had an important event coming up and the last thing you needed was your routine disrupted. It was already enough chaos in your hectic life! But nail tech!sanji was willing to swoop in and make things easier.

“Miss, if you don’t mind..I’d be more than happy to help you today. My next appointment isn’t for a few hours so I’ve got plenty of time to get everything taken care of.”

nail tech!sanji, who’d been an esthetician and licensed massage therapist for years, had just begun working there but his work and reputation far preceded longevity at this particular shop. The man was an absolute master at his craft and his catalog spoke for itself. He had won competitions, curated some of the most beautiful designs you’ve ever seen and worked with absolute proficiency. “Is there a specific design you’re looking for?” nail tech!sanji had also mastered the art of de-escalating tense situations. When working around women and people who did not play when it came to their appearances, he knew one wrong move could result in his head or termination so he was flawless in his final product..left with no other choice, you’d accept nail tech!sanji’s generous offer. “Fine. But if you screw up one thing on these nails, I’m done with this shop for good.” but little did you know, you’d be so glad that you did take the services from him! nail tech!sanji, who’s work area was absolutely spotless, smelled of vanilla incense and looked so out together, it shocked you. “I find vanilla helps soothe the senses…makes you feel a lot more relaxed. Don’t worry, I’m going to take good care of you and if at any time, I do anything wrong, you let me know. Okay, miss?” nail tech!sanji, who looked better suited for a repair shop with his tattoos, blonde wefts and tongue ring, certainly took you by surprise. He was gentle, attentive and made certain that you were comfortable. “Can I offer you some water? Or perhaps something else to drink?” As the nail salon you frequented also doubled as a bar. “No alcohol for me today, please. I drove. I’ll just take the water..” nail tech!sanji, who noticed that you were still nervous, decided to take your hand and redirect that tension.

“So tell me about this event. I’d love to hear about it if you don’t mind.” nail tech!sanji, who was not only kind but handsome and rather charming to boot. He had a great sense of humor and was very quick witted..this man who was all but a stranger thirty minutes ago, had you laughing and fanning yourself as he dabbed balls of acrylic onto your nails and sculpted your tips to perfection. nail tech!sanji, who did thorough work whilst also listening to you attentively as you divulged about your career and how you were going to be attending a gala for the company’s sponsors. “Sounds like it’s a room full of snobs.” “You don’t know the half but hey, they keep my bills paid so I can’t complain too much, I guess.” nail tech!sanji, who was absolutely smitten by you, couldn’t stop staring from across the table as he gently kneaded lotion into your hands. His touch was so soft and inviting, making you wish he’d never pull away. It didn’t help matters that he was so damn attractive! nail tech!sanji, who made your nails look the best they ever had, was pleased to see the smile on your face after he finished!

“..only the best for a valued customer and such a beauty at that. I do aim to please.” “I’d say you exceeded that. Thank you, mr. sanji..they’re gorgeous.” “Thank you for allowing me to take care of you. I’m honored.”

nail tech!sanji, who wasn’t quite ready to part ways with the gorgeous woman he’d come to be acquainted with, decided that he would take on all of your services today. Including your pedicure and massage…nail tech!sanji, who saw that you opted for the deluxe package, whisked you away to the private room with the entire setup. Something you’d always paid for. A massage bed in the corner and the pedicure chair with a tub full of milky liquid and rose petals scattered about…soft, ambient music playing from the speakers and waves displayed on a mounted television screen crashed around. It was so peaceful and just what you needed for the long week ahead and the one you’d just gone through. nail tech!sanji, who rolled up his sleeves as he sat down to work on your feet, made you chew at your bottom lip..weirdly enticed by the sight of his veins protruding from his forearms. But that wasn’t the only reason…he’d soak your heels and work on each one as the other marinated in the softening solution. nail tech!sanji, who delicately massaged up and down those calves, couldn’t help but to chuckle when he felt you slightly tremble yet again when he began to gently knead his fingers into your pressure points, causing you to melt right there! “Looks like someone enjoyed that. You’re really tense for some reason, miss..something on your mind?” Trying to feign the embarrassment of admitting that not only were slightly turned on by how gently this man handled you but the fact that beneath that skin tight sundress, you weren’t wearing any panties, as you had just come from your wax appointment before arriving here and he was seconds from getting an eyeful! “N-no, I’m fine. Just feels really good.” “Well that’s all I want to hear.” nail tech!sanji, who was quick to sense the energy shift, went to retrieve your polish of choice after rubbing your legs down in lotion and wrapping them in warm towels.

“White toes..good choice. And a personal favorite on a lady too.” “You’re a man of good taste then. I like that.” Causing the blonde to blush a bit himself..as he could tell you weren’t exactly some scared little girl. You were a grown woman..who was strong, handled her business and always got her way. Just his type! nail tech!sanji, who set up for your final service as he allowed your toes to cure under the gel lamp, began to dim the lights and lay out all his materials. Knowing that you were watching him carefully…snaking his tongue out intermittently to reveal that steel ball stuck between it. Not to mention the silver bands wrapped around his perfectly manicured fingers.

“..can I have you remove your clothes and wrap yourself in the towel, please? I can step out for a moment and you just let me know when you’re ready..” helping you from your seat as he removed that lamp and grasped your hand..this man was the epitome of a perfect gentleman and you were becoming more and more ecstatic that you had decided to come in today. But unbeknownst, the best was yet to come..nail tech!sanji, who’d stepped back in to find you lying across the table on your stomach, a single towel covering your frame and ready for him to work his magic. nail tech!sanji, who had to all but bite his fist to restrain himself as he inched closer and prepared to make you feel the best you had in ages…warming a palmful of oil as he rubbed them together. Waiting in anticipation, you’d glance back and be greeted with a smirk. When he began to knead your muscles with those strong hands, your body would immediately melt within his grasp. So carefully working out all the sores and kinks that had mounted throughout the stressful work week. Meetings, business negotiations, dinners with your bosses…it was all taking its toll. But if anyone could put you at ease, it was nail tech!sanji..

“How are we feeling, my dear?..”

“Amazing..you’re really good at this..”

and luckily for you, this wasn’t even the beginning. Because as he kept going, (y/n) began to release soft whimpers in response to those subtle touches. Chewing at your lower lip, you’d allow your mind to escape to a place that it should not have been. Abashedly, you didn’t want to admit it but it’d been quite some time since a man had touched you, less known, made you feel this damn good! It was apparent that he was no amateur..in many ways than once. “Mmmm…like that.” The words slipped out subconsciously but it didn’t even phase nail tech!sanji, he just chuckled and kept going. Everytime he moved, he questioned and asked for your permission to place his hands lower. By the time he reached your lower back, you’d let him know it was quite alright to do as he pleased. “Please…keep going. You know what to do..” you were never a promiscuous woman by any means but you were the kind to have your way..when you wanted it. And what you wanted right now…was for him to give in to his desires and take you right there!

“In that case…flip over f’r me and I’ll give you exactly what you need.” The sexual tension that had accrued between you two was undeniable and neither of you were interested in playing coy. So with the command being whispered into your ear, causing a shudder to run down your spine, you’d follow his command and turn over to lie on your back, exposing your breasts. He couldn’t help but to subtly grunt at the sheer sight of those erect, dark hues nipples and toned tummy. The only thing making it better was the glass colored liquid pooling across it and spreading as he rubbed it in. Your brown skin glistening underneath the hue of auburn lighting.. “..there we are..much better.” nail tech!sanji took his sweet time in caressing your body. Honing in on your stiff little buds and watching you squirm. Your dark eyes glaring through him with unadulterated lust. Especially when he’d wash his hands off and proceed to go lower beneath that cloth covering your upper thighs. “You sure know how to work your hands..” “I’m only getting started, my love. Just keep your eyes on me and don’t move…” his dominance was not only attractive but captivating. You needed him more than he could imagine! So much so, you’d reach over to grasp for his clothed erection that was growing from the confines of his pants. But nail tech!sanji was quick to halt you, gently clutching your wrist.

“Aht..not yet, gorgeous. It’s my turn.” Chuckling as he commanded you to lean up so you could watch his every movement. He’d part your legs as he kept an arm cradled behind your shoulders and the other between your thighs, working those nimble fingers on your sensitive spot. “Oh my gosh..” “…mmph, you’re soaking, pretty girl.” watching you writhe and whimper as those digits circulated your clit. nail tech!sanji, who latched his lips around your nipples and suckled as he moved about, working them inside of you..whispering into your ear, marking your throat with kisses and filling your head with sweet nothings as he clutched his hand around it. “Ooh..you needed this, didn’t you?…yeah, I know. Just need someone to take care of you every once in a while.” Pegging you to a tee..so independent and headstrong that sometimes, you forgot what it felt like to be spoiled. Clutching around his knuckles, you’d grasp for his arm and hold onto it as your lips met in passionate pecks. Exchanging saliva and whimpers in the process. Tasting one another as the kisses deepened. Sensing that mounting ball of pleasure forming in your core, he’d curl his index and middle digits to work that orgasm out of you. “Good girl..there you go. Keep fucking my fingers. Just like that..get yourself off..” nail tech!sanji, who was practically yearning to bury himself inside of your pussy, could no longer fight his own urges and gave you permission to stroke his cock, shuffling his waistband around to remove it. “Mmph, damn…” “..like what you see, miss?” Knowing that you were taken aback by his size and length. A glowing red tip with precum seeping out..you’d carefully take into your grasp as you stroked that shaft. You’d pleasure each other through lilted moans and stifled cries. Practically shoving your tongue down the other’s throats as you brought each other to ecstasy. “Should I speed up? I can if you need me to..” but you’d quickly decline, finding that the pace was perfect. He was equally as needy but his resolve outweighed his pleasure at the moment and he was determined to let you get yours before his own. Which wasn’t too far away..

“You wanna come, beautiful? It’s okay, you can tell me.” “Y-yes! Please, Sanji..” and with that, he commanded your release with a sharp tug upward and a quickened flick of his wrist..you’d finally cave and release. Letting out loud whimpers, along with a stream of juices, that soaked the table and your quivering thighs. nail tech!sanji, who enjoyed the sight of watching you writhe from his volition, was quick to get a sample of the mess he contributed to. Moving down your torso with the swipe of his tongue piercing, grazing your skin; lapping up those sweet juices from your center down to your thighs..leaving a trail of kisses in his wake until he reached your calves and feet. nail tech!sanji, who’d place those freshly done toes into his mouth, sucking them momentarily as he concluded your massage.

“So..did I do a good job, my love? Satisfied with your service today?” Receiving by far the best compliment he’s ever gotten when you snatched him down and made out with him once more. Showing your gratitude. “I’ll take that as a yes..” giggling with him as the two of you came down from your climatic bliss.

y/n, who was apprehensive before coming in here, was now leaving happier than ever. And nail tech!sanji, who had never picked favorites among his clients, was now looking forward to your next appointment!

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tagging: @lotus-flower-writes @spaceforher @highpri3stess @themagnificentgoat @ichigosluvrr @ladymomo

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kyemna · 3 months

Text

Alastor with a non-biological teenager who died in the 80's

This is kind of based on some headcanons I posted earlier. I wanted to include some in the story, so here it is!

Again, i made him a softy here, to come for my throat😞

I apologize if there are any grammar mistakes.

TW: Mentions of death

It was strange, dying. Apparently there's a whole process that happens after..

Standing in Hell when you 'wake up'..

Processing, and finding a place to live.

Getting kicked out of that place, because they find out you lied about your age, and now living on the streets.

A girl finding out you live on the streets, and you discovering she's the Princess of Hell.

She invites you to stay at her hotel, rent free, but in exchange, you have to rehabilitate. Okay, do-able right? Wrong.

Finding out the radio demon stays at that EXACT Hotel.

The demon you wanted to avoid the most.

Sighing and accepting the fact that your stuck with him.

So, there you were. A 16 year old, standing in the door opening of the hotel, ready to be Rehabilitated.

Charlie, the girl you met on the streets, walks up to you and shakes your hand enthusiasticly.

"Welcome (y/n)!! We're so happy to have you here!" She smiles widely.

You awkwardly smile back at her.

"Thanks for taking me in.. i really do appreciate it."

"Ofcourse, it's no problem. We need more guests here anyways so, your helping me out more than your aware." She drags you inside the hotel, introducing you to the staff.

"Everyone this is (y/n), our first ever teenager at the Hotel! (y/n), this is, Vaggie, Husk, Angel Dust, Nifty, Sir Pentious, and Alastor"

You looked at everyone taking in their appearances and names.

You make eye contact with Alastor, his usual grin widens, as he tilts his head a little to the left.

"Nice.. to meet you all." You smile a little.

Alastor spoke. "So, how old are you, dear?"

Taken off-guard by him actually speaking to you, you answer.

"16."

"When did you die?" Angel dust asks.

"1983" you answer, again.

Angel whistles.

"How did you die?" He asks.

You stayed quiet for a moment.

"I drowned." Your grip on your bag tightens.

"Charlie, can you show me to my room, please? I need some time to... take it all in"

She nods, leading you upstairs.

Alastors gaze follows you.

"Wow, well done Angel. Asking a teenager how they died. real smooth." Vaggie says.

"How was I supposed to know it would upset them?"

"I don't know.. common sense?"

He rolls his eyes.

Charlie opens the door to your room, as you both step in.

"Take your time to get settled in, there's no hurry. Breakfast is at 8:30, lunch at 12:00 and dinner at 18:00 (6:00). There's also a meeting tommorow morning at 10 but you don't have to come to that if you don't want to." She smiles, leaving your room.

You sigh, and plop down on your bed.

You turn to your left, being met by Alastor staring at you.

You scream, rolling off the bed.

"What the hell, Alastor?" You say, loudly.

"My apologies, dear. I just noticed something was wrong when you spoke about the way you died. Now, i'm no therapist, but I am a good listener.

Would you like to talk about it?"

You inhaled sharply

"What's there to say? I was fighting somebody off near a pool. I killed his friend. He pushed me in, and he drowned me. That's all there is."

He hummed as you stand back up, and start unpacking.

"Did you know him?"

"Not really.. I went to school with him but that's all." He nods, as he stands up, taking the shirt you had in your hands, and folding it properly for you.

"If you need a hand with anything, just ask" He says, leaving your room.

The next morning you wake up at 7:00 am.

You sit up, as you heard a knock on your door.

"Come in" you say, yawning.

Alastor opens, enters, and closes the door.

"Charlie asked me to help you get settled i-" He stops and looks at you, noticing your hair. "-in." He stays silent for a moment before speaking again.

"My goodness, you look an absolute mess, dear."

You roll your eyes, laying back down.

He walks towards the curtains and opens them, light cutting off your vision for a few seconds. You groan.

"Time to get up, we have a trip to make." He lays an outfit on the end of your bed.

"Meet me downstairs in 15 minutes."

He exits your room again.

"Strange guy" you mumble, getting out of bed.

"And make your bed!" he says loudly from the hall.

"Okay, dad" you yell back, sarcastically. That came out quicker than you wanted it to. You hoped he didn't hear it. With no response, you assumed he didn't.

You get dressed, brush your teeth, do your hair, and all in a hurry since you only had 15 minutes.

You run downstairs, noticing yourself in the mirror. Your wearing a white button-up shirt, with a dark blue skirt that reaches to your calfs, a pair of low black heels and a black hat, with lace. Not to big.

You weren't used to dressing so.. conservative.

Alastor was already waiting at the door.

"17 minutes. your late."

"Oh, whatever. It's only two minutes."

You say, straighting your skirt, hearing a quick static sound of irritation.

He sighs and opens the door for you.

"Thank you." You step outside, the cold wind hitting your skin, as you breathed it in.

You two were walking in silence when Alastor spoke.

"We'll be going to Cannibal town, where we'll be meeting a friend of mine. I need to ask a favour of her, and I wanted you to tag along, so you could get accustomed to Hell."

"What kind of favour?" You asked, looking up at him.

"I'm afraid that's none of your concern, dear."

You hummed in response, looking around, trying to memorize some of the streets.

"Alastor, when were you born?" You ask.

"1893, January 1st. Why do you ask?"

You whistle, a little surprised.

"No reason, just curious.."

You guys arrived at Cannibal town.

Everyone looked so old fashioned.

You realised why Alastor picked this outfit for you. You blend right in.

You two enter a small communal building.

He waves at a woman.

"Oh my stars. Do my eyes deceive me? Alastor, it's been ages!" She walks up to us, kissing him on the cheek.

"And who's this? Come now Alastor, she's much to young for you. I'm just kidding, I know your an ace in the hole." you snicker.

"A what now?" He asked, confused.

"I think she means ase-sexual, Alastor."

"Yes, that!" The woman says, snapping her fingers.

"I'm Rosie, dear. What's your name?" She smiles.

"I'm (y/n), ma'am, nice to meet you."

She gasps softly, laying her hand on her chest.

"A pleasure meeting you, dear. So polite. Alastor you could learn a thing or two from her." She says, laying her hand on your shoulder and taking us to a table.

You wiggle your eyebrows at Alastor, grinning. He rolls his eyes.

"So what can I do for you two?" She asked.

"It's better I discuss this with you privately, Rosie." Alastor says.

She nods, turning to me.

"You can wait here, Dear. We'll be right back" she smiles, as they enter her office.

An hour later, they came back out, laughing.

"Sorry it took so long, we got a little carried away" Rosie apologized.

"It's okay" you said, standing up.

"Thank you for your hospitality, Rosie."

Alastor thanked her.

She waved it away.

"No need to thank me, Al. It's always a pleasure having you around. See you next time!"

We both smiled at her as we left.

"So.." i started. "What did you two talk about..?"

He raised his eyebrow.

"I'm still not telling you."

You shrug. "Worth a shot"

You two got back to the Hotel, and had dinner with the rest of the staff.

At 23:00 (11:00) you stumbled upstairs, exhausted from your long day.

You opened the door to your room, and kicked off your shoes, falling onto your bed, immediately dozing off.

Alastor entered your room, about to say something, when he noticed you were asleep. He sighed softly, walking over to you. He gently picked you up, laying your head on your pillow and tucking you in.

Maybe this wasn't so bad after all...

Thank you for reading!

#x reader #hazbin alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #fluff #alastor #hazbin hotel

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 days

Note

Wibta if I told my mom she loves a cat more than her own children.

I do feel like an asshole for this. I’m 17f and I have a younger sister 15F. My parents are married and for the most part good. When have a 12 year old cat that my mom just adores.

This part is all speculation, but when I very young like I was 5 or something my mom had an event that changed a lot. She stayed with her parents and would visits us. My grandparents would help out and no one really ever explained what happened to her but she lived there for like a year, she did move back in with us. My dad got her a cat to cope while she was away. The speculation is she had really bad post partum depression and had a break down. The reason I believe this/and this is my own theory, was when I was struggling mentally, my mom encouraged me to go to a therapist and they asked family history and she said she had struggled with depression/episodes and had tried medication but never stayed on. She just said when she was younger she had a hard time regulating emotions, and she wants me to worry about me and my own emotions. The post patrum comes from the fact that I asked my dad why did you two have kids and he admitted he wanted kids and my mom was more on the fence. I also find it weird she gets really nervous around Mother’s Day and will often try to not celebrate. (She always says she could be a better mom)

My mom is a good mom don’t get me wrong. She’s always encouraged my sister and I to try and do our hobbies. She’ll drive us where we gotta go. I know she works overtime when she wants to make sure we can do stuff for the family. It’s just sometimes, she seems more like a distant mom. She’ll listen to us, do anything asked, but idk how to put it into words.

But she really loves this cat. And I do love our cat too, but this cat and my mom are bonded. The second my mom comes home and the cat greets her and my mom picks her up and kisses her. She calls the cat her pretty princess and a hundred other nicknames. She calls me my dad and sister honey, bunny, and sunny. I know the cat actually makes my mom happy. Her eyes light up when she sees the cat. I know she looks forward to coming home to the cat. When we go on vacations she’ll miss the cat, or if she goes on a work trip she’ll always ask for pictures of the cat or ask to see the cat on FaceTime. She throws a small birthday party for the cat every year and makes a cake. For our birthdays she’ll ask what we want and sometimes she resorts to store bought desserts.

So this is where it gets bad. Our cat is now sick and probably has a year left to live. The vet told my mom she’s a good cat owner and has always done right for her, but with her age, treatment isn’t really the route because it’s not gonna prevent death, so just focus on making the cat happy and comfortable (this vet appointment was her 6 month check up.) My mom hasn’t been doing well mentally. She’s always struggled with mental health. She just seems to have a shakey mind at times if that makes sense. She very much before would hide her struggles, but we knew she’d have them. Before she would like stand still just gripping the counter with one hand. Now my mom is definetly depressed. She will come home be greeted by the cat, and go to her room and cry with the cat. She’s been just not happy.

My sister and I kinda decided to see if telling her we got good grades would cheer her up, and she’ll say good job and will sometimes offer to cook something or get something for us, but her eyes are just like very tired. (There is also an app she can use to check out grades but she never once used it and will just take our word face value) We’ve talked to my dad about this and he basically said that our mom has always loved animals (she use to work with her grandpa at a pet store he owned, but apparently her grandpa wasn’t a good person to most people in the family except her, so that was hard on her). I asked my dad what he thinks and says it’s normal for someone to be sad about this and that he’s gonna work hard or make sure we get all our needs handled. Which is nice, but I kinda wish it was my mom. I don’t feel dire need of anything, I’m just annoyed/jealous a cat can destroy my mom mentally.

My mom has gone over load for the cat. She cooks for her, makes her dinner buys the best food and mixes then. She often cries while cooking, and asks the cat if she likes the food.The cat doesn’t even know what’s happening.

I was looking at prom dresses online and asked my mom to look with me and she was just out of it. She would just say she’d like one or she’s not a fan but don’t let that discourage me. She’s just kinda lifeless. I try talking to her about it and she’ll aplogize and says she’ll get better. (It’s been like a week)

It boiled over when my mom’s sisters came over. (She’s the youngest. One sister has kids and one doesn’t) My mom tried to be happy and perky but ended up crying about the cat. Her sisters kinda said that she’s gotta be strong for her family and my mom just cried saying everything’s gonna be so much harder without the cat. I wasn’t in the room, they were in the basement, and there’s a vent where you can hear everything down there. My sister and I do easedrop to see what they say (her sisters are loud but we can never hear what my mom is saying without the vent. Normally we do it because my mom is a more different interesting person and again we don’t know our mom well. Away from us she kinda puts down the facade and actually talks). I was just angry. Her life isn’t hard. We’re middle class, if she wants to go to therepy she can afford it. We all deal with grief and loss. Yes I’m gonna be sad when our cat passes, but she is an older cat. I don’t imagine my life becoming “harder” other than my mom being depressed, but she is an adult who will heal from this.

After her sisters left and she was doing her night routine, I asked her if she loves the cat more than my sister and I. She said that’s not true and if she could do something more for my sister and I please name it. I told her that that’s the problem is that she does stuff for the cat without thinking, but for us it’s all asking us and she’s the adult she should know. She’s said she’s not a mind reader and she’s gonna rely on the information I give her to help me out where she can. I went to my room because ovbiosuly that conversation wasn’t going anywhere. I feel like my mom understands a cat more than her own daughter.

My dad came in a little while after and we talked. He assured me my mom loves me and this cat has been like an emotional support animal through the years. He mentioned my one friend who has an emotional support dog and compared them and told me that the cat has helped my mom emotionally with emotional regulation and just helps her steady herself. I asked if we were enough, or if my mom regrets having a family and she would just be happier if she just left us for the cat and lived by herself. My dad told me she loves all of us, but depression can be hard to navigate. I asked him about how he wanted us more than our mom and he just said that he was more excited, but my mom wouldn’t have had us unless she wanted us (which I don’t think is totally true.)

I went into my parents room and my mom was there with the cat. Again going to the cat for comfort. I told her I was sorry for saying she loved the cat more than us and she apologized for how her treatment towards the cat can seem that way and if I ever need anything please ask. It made me mad because she again is relying on me to know what’s wrong/ or ask, instead of her just idk taking initiative. I didn’t say that.

I get people can be mentally ill, but she’s also my mom. I do feel bad about telling my mom she loves a cat more than me, but I also don’t feel too reassured.

#aita #am i the asshole

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howtodrawyourdragon · 7 months

Text

I'm gonna say it; Hiccup did nothing wrong. We're treating him as the biggest problem of THW when literally his worst crime in is somehow losing his freckles and that's not even something he has control over. Oh and that kind of incredibly stupid plan of literally moving an entire people by going "let's just fly straight until we hit something :) even though I, Hiccup Haddock, somehow don't believe the world is round."

The entire rest of the movie is everyone else around him being horrible and out of character.

Berk is a mess in the beginning of the movie, yes. But it was also just a year ago that his father was horribly murdered in front of him because Draco Bloodyfist-Or-Whatever decided to sent his mind controled best friend after him. Everybody expects Hiccup to be put together and solve all problems immediately and remain a Dragon Rider when he should be buying a therapist a mansion and a yacht with all those billed sessions.

Then there is being told more than once that he's putting Astrid second when he literally isn't. And told he should meet her standard.s

There is all that stuff about how he's been a horrible pet owner to Toothless when he had legitimate and real fears about Toothless not making it out in wild and about the Light Fury turning on him and about him not coming back. (Like... he's a disabled dragon, for Gods' sake??? Toothless will literally NOT make it without human intervention)

He's called out for not embracing change when his name was literally synonymous with change before THW and every bit of change he proposes in the movie is met with backlash unless Astrid, their not-chief, says it's okay.

His mother, who abandoned him for 20 and came home with him after the traumatic loss of his father spends most of the movie not being the mother she promised him to be in the second movie and even advocated for the Riders to be less dependent on dragons when she was with dragons for the entirety of those 20 years.

And then there is all the bullying. Making fun of his voice, telling him- a disabled person- to LOSE THE LIMP, telling him he's not worthy of Astrid the warrior goddess (completely forgetting how Hiccup is both parts warrior and diplomat in at least the previous two movies, let alone the movies and the shows) and these three things are all said by Tuffnut! "Forgets he has a sister in THW" Tuffnut!

And let's not forget Snotlout's "who died and made you chief?!" when Snotlout was literally crying at Stoick's funeral. And then proceeds to hit on the dead man's wife and his best friend's mother while also putting said best friend down!

Like... none of the things said to him in the first movie were as bad as some of the things said in THW.

The entire movie is also basically Hiccup being pulled from one direction to the other.

It's "You're a bad chief because you're not changing anything" yet it's also "how dare you make this change!"

It's "you should step up as chief" yet it's also "we will only listen if Astrid says it's good."

It's "you were literally keeping Toothless captive for 6 years :/" yet it's also "Uuuhhh, time to cut the umbilical cord, don't you think? 🙄"

It's "you let Toothless go free, what did you expect?" yet also "uh, you let him go???"

It's "you are literally nothing without Toothless, sorry :/" yet it's also "Toothless only showed you what was already inside."

It's "you should put Astrid first for once" yet it's also "I, Hiccup, will literally listen to every single word you, Astrid, says even if it's hurtful."

It's "I, Astrid, will suggest to you, Hiccup, that we go find Toothless in the hidden world" yet it's also "I, Astrid, will blame you, Hiccup, for deciding to go to the Hidden World, making the Light Fury, who you have no control over, to follow us back home"

It's "hey man, can you help me with this dragon tail? :(" yet it's also "I will literally not listen to you when I'm about to break this branch that I and the dragon tail are on."

I mean, my God! I'd sent the dragons away if I had to listen to that for the past year after I watched my father die a gruesome death.

And that's not even the worst part. The worst part is Toothless abandoning Hiccup for the most shallow reason there is; chasing dragon tail that doesn't even want anything to do with him unless he does something that impresses her when he's the king of the dragons.

So yeah, probably an unpopular opinion, but besides one bad plan, Hiccup did nothing wrong besides listen to what all the people around him were saying, no matter how much they contradict themselves.

Really, what he needs is a hug. A Real one. :(

#me ranting about thw? it's more likely than you think!#i find myself thinking what the riders in the rtte-era would've thought if they saw the way hiccup was being treated in thw #because of the “where hiccup goes we go” sentiment and because that's when the riders became a family #thw salt #httyd 3 criticism #httyd movies #httyd 3 #how to train your dragon 3 #httyd: the hidden world #hiccup haddock

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neteyamssyulang · 28 days

Text

Supernatural

Day 2

Pairing: Incubus Adult Neteyam x Fem tawtute reader

Warnings: P in V, Dub con, Dom Neteyam, Sub Reader, Rough Neteyam, Creampie.

Word count: 832

Translation(s): Paskalin -> Honey, Yawne -> Beloved

Tagging: @teyamshuman @hidden-snow @anemonelovesfiction @ikeyniofthetayrangi @itchaboi-itchyboy @kia-wolfie @aria-tempest @loaksulluyswife

“These dreams.. they’ve been so- weird the last few days, it’s hard to explain but the dream always starts off normal but then it always ends up with this blue alien fucking my brains out and I wake up being sore between my legs.” You spoke softly, looking between your friends who were rolling their eyes.

Tanya, one of your friends, eventually spoke up “Yeah right y/n” she scoffed, “I think someone has been watching the avatar movies wayyy too much” Jessie, your other friend, added in.

Now they weren’t wrong, you loved to binge watch all the movies but it does not explain why you have the same dream every single damn night.

You went to open your mouth to speak but Jessie cut you off immediately, “Look y/n, we’re gonna go home now but I suggest seeing a therapist or something because your losing it babe”

They gave you both a pitiful smile and got off the couch, walked out the living room, opened the door and left closing it behind them.

Maybe they did have a point, maybe you were losing it.

Or maybe you weren’t.

An hour passed and you got ready for bed, doing your nightly routine but also putting a camera on your dresser facing your bed. Now you’ll finally have proof that your not crazy.

As always, you fell asleep instantly after getting into your warm, cozy, bed.

Your dream started off different this time, you were laying down in the huge fancy bed but no one was in the room with you.

Or so you thought.

“Miss me already paskalin?” Neteyam purred next to you, your breath hitched as you felt his cold hands on your skin, tracing patterns along your stomach before moving his hand down between your legs, swiping a single digit across your folds.

He smirked feeling how wet you already are “Yeah, guess you did miss me.” Before you could register anything, he pinned you down and crawled ontop of you, his cock already hard and leaking pre-cum onto your thigh.

“Wait wait!” You pleaded, pushing at his chest “Wait for what pet? You don’t want this?” He asked completely unfazed, placing one of your legs around his waist and swiped his cockhead teasingly against your slick folds.

“I.. I don- shit!” You screamed as he plunged his cock inside you, small grunts leaving his lips as your walls squeezed tightly around his thick shaft.

Once Neteyam finally bottomed out, he stayed still for a few moments just admiring you. How beautiful you looked underneath him with your eyes squeezed shut and mouth slightly agape trying to adjust to his size.

Doesn’t matter if you took him multiple times before, each time felt like your first time all over again.

Slowly he began moving his hips, his cock dragging against your gummy walls, coaxing out beautiful moans from your lips.

“Nothing to say now huh?” He chuckled, picking up the pace, his hips slapping against yours. “Ungh! Fuck teyam!” You mewled, his cock was hitting all the right spots inside you, making you see stars.

Your hands went to his arms, digging your nails into him making him groan. The sting was oh so delicious and only encouraged him to push deeper into you.

Neteyam leaned down, his hot breath fanning over your ear as he whispered “Your all mine y/n, mine. No one will ever get to have you besides me.”

Your walls clenched around him at his words making his lips tug up into a smirk, “You want that? To be all mine yawne?”

By now your mind has turned to mush, all you could think of was how good Neteyam was fucking you.

“P-please..” you slurred, already feeling your climax approaching rapidly. Leaning back up, he bit his lip and wrapped his tail around your thigh. Fuck you felt like heaven to him, it was only a matter of time before you would be his completely.

With one particular hard thrust your breath hitched and you came hard, gushing around his cock. Feeling your walls clenching tightly around him, Neteyam groaned, painting your gummy walls white.

Your eyes began to slowly flutter shut as he slowly began to withdraw himself from you, “Till next time, little one” he murmured.

You woke up to your alarm going off around 7:30, groaning you opened you eyes and sat up slowly, wincing at the familiar pain between your legs.

Quickly you got out of bed and went to the camera, grabbing it off your dresser. Stopping the recording you sat back down onto the bed and played back the footage you caught.

Holy shit- no..it couldn’t be..

He was actually there, fucking your unconscious body while glancing towards the camera.

Once Neteyam was done and pulled out, he got off the bed, walked to the camera and crouched down.

“Did you enjoy the show darling?” He grinned, sending a wink towards the camera.

#PandorasBloodyMoon #incubus neteyam #neteyam x human reader #neteyamssyulang #neteyam smut #comments really appreciated #please like and reblog #followmypage

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bloggingboutburgers · 2 months

Note

Hey, allo anon with an ace partner here. I wanted to say thank you so much for the well wishes! I figured I would send this in here again, so anyone else who is curious about what this experience looks like from the other side can see it.

My girlfriend came out to me a little over 2 years into our relationship. At the time it surprised me a lot, because she'd never given me any signs that she wasn't enjoying what we were doing. After we talked more I understood that she wasn't repulsed by sex and she didn't hate it, but she didn't really love it either and wanted to stop doing it for a while (so a sex-neutral ace).

Honestly, at the time, I did get anxious about it. Not just because of social conventions, but because I had viewed sex as an important bonding part of our relationship. I don't do well with change, and I was super worried about how a lack of sex would change our dynamic. I also had some insecurities about my own body, and my girlfriend admitting that she didn't see me as sexy was upsetting. But after speaking to my therapist, I realized that I was projecting my own issues on to the relationship. So I spoke with her again, and she reassured me that she wanted to be with me, and that she was confiding these feelings because she trusted me. She likes how I look, she just doesn't have the same sexual impulses I do.

So, I realized this was pretty much like cuddling. I love physical touch a lot, and I want to cuddle for a much longer time than she does. I like it when someone lies on top of me. She doesn't want me on top of her chest during cuddling. She still cuddles with me, but she tells me when she's satisfied, and we stop.

A few months went by, and I noticed that she wasn't spending any less time with me; she was actually spending more. We would still call every evening when we didn't meet up in person, we would still joke around, and she still told me she loved me and did everything she could to show it to me. We also began trying out new stuff together, and playing games and watching stuff more often. We also still had plenty of physical intimacy with things like cuddling and kissing, which made me really happy.

I realized that I didn't feel like anything was missing from the relationship. I just needed her to show and tell me she loved me in the ways she normally did. Sure, I am still attracted to her that way, but it wasn't something that would make or break the relationship.

It's been years since she came out, and at this point, I never expect anything sexual. It happens rarely, and I always check in with her multiple times before and during. We stop at any point she tells me. There are quite a few hard boundaries about what is and isn't off limits, and I always keep them in mind. I would rather satisfy myself forever than make her uncomfortable, and she knows it.

It's been over 5 years and we are still going strong. I am hoping to ask her to marry me in the next few years, because honestly, I can't picture wanting anyone else by my side. She is kind, funny, beautiful, intelligent, and treats me well. I could never ask for anything more from a partner.

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing. I myself definitely lack knowledge of what it feels like from an allo's perspective, so this was very educational for me, but beyond that... You have no idea how much hope this gives me.

From you being aware of how much sex meant to you in the context of your relationship and still being fine without it, to just... Heck, even your therapist for not blaming her for the situation. Therapy is still very much, in my country at least, an area where the absence or lower levels of sexual attraction will be hastily labelled as something wrong physically or mentally, so... Yeah, the amount of relief I felt reading that, you have no idea. And I can only imagine how much your partner appreciates it too.

Honestly I teared up a bit reading this - I sincerely wish you guys all the best and I hope you have a bright future ahead! (Also fun fact, seems you guys have been together as long as my partner and I have, it's nice to be able to relate to that too hehe^^)

#anon #asexual #ace #allosexual #thank you so much for sharing

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maxsimagination · 4 months

Text

𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 - 𝗽.𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗷𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗼

warnings: a kiss, fluff

a/n: patri is 25 and reader is 28

-----

"she just doesn't understand that i have to do it. travelling is part of my job, it's not a choice!"

patri was sitting on my couch in my living room, ranting about troubles in her relationship. her and clara had been together for almost a year, it had been a mostly smooth romance but now it wasn't so smooth.

"have you told her how you feel?"

i always tried my best to support patri no matter what, she was my best friend, but it was difficult when her and clara became a thing because i also had feelings for patri. i didn't dare say anything, in fear of being the reason they broke up.

"i try, but she always ends up yelling at me or crying." i could tell it was tough on patri, her shoulders sagged and she didn't have the spark in her personality anymore. i bought her into a hug and she melted into my embrace. i could hear small sniffles from her head on my shoulder and i rubbed up and down her back.

"i'm here for you, patri. even if you break up."

especially if you break up.

she lifted her head to look at me, a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes showed on her face. "thank you, y/n. i appreciate it."

"that's what friends are for, nene."

——

i left to go training that morning, my mind filled with thoughts of yesterdays conversation with patri. i had liked her for so long it was hard to imagine what life would be like without her. but i refused to make a move or say anything when she was in a relationship.

when i got to camp nou, there was a couple of fans and paparazzi that hung around the entrance. i simply waved and continue on my way. i put my bags down next to alexia, giving her a hug in acknowledgment.

"¿estas bien?" (are you okay?)

she looked concerned when we pulled apart.

"sí, just a little tired." (yes)

alexia didn't say anything; only a sceptical look on her face. i knew that she knew something was up, and knowing ale, she would try to get to the bottom of it.

we started individual training drills, and then paired up for more. we ended the couple of hours with a scrimmage before everyone peeled off to have a shower. i sat on the benches in the changing rooms, eyes closed, just in my own mind and not really aware of my surroundings. i could hear footsteps and the bench next to me creak, opening my eyes to see alexia looking at me.

"no estás bien. what's wrong?" (you’re not okay.)

i knew there was no point in keeping it from her, she's my captain and close friend, she'd figure it out anyway. "patri tells me everything about her and carla, and she keeps talking to me about how they aren't in a good place but all i want to do is kiss her."

i was blunt about it, and didn't really know what else to say. alexia was quiet for a second before pulling me to stand in front of her. "go have a shower, i'll take you out and we can talk over coffee."

so i did just that. i showered and ale drove us to a small cafe nearby. i found a table while she ordered for us. "bien. habla." (okay. talk.)

"i don't know what to say. you know i've liked patri for a while, but i never said anything about it. yesterday she talked to me about their newest problem and we hugged but i want so much more than to be her best friend and therapist." i looked to alexia with pleading eyes, silently begging her to help me.

"just talk to her. if they aren't doing well then just advise her to end it." it was not what i expected alexia to say, i thought she'd have some philosophical quote to spout at me but i think i liked this answer better.

"are you sure? i don't want to be the reason they break up, ale."

she quirked an eyebrow at me.

"you know you won't be. i think patri actually likes you, but she was scared because you were older and more experienced so she found a different girl."

i smiled a little at that. patri, scared? i never thought i'd see the day. alexia continued. "she's only dating carla because she didn't know how to deal with her feelings for you. a relationship of convenience, if you will."

i laughed at her play on words at the end. she had somehow made me feel less scared about the whole situation.

"thank you ale."

——

i was at home after training the next day, contemplating texting patri to come over. she had a key to my apartment and usually came over by herself anyway but i hadn't seen her since training yesterday, she seemed like she was avoiding me today. instead of getting inside my own head, i thought fuck it, and sent her a message to come over.

in the half hour between sending the text and hearing the doorbell ring, i had thought of a million different situations that could happen. but when i saw patri on the other side of the door i forgot them all.

"hola. come in." (hello.)

i knew something was off since she rung the doorbell. she never uses the doorbell.

"¿estas bien?" (are you okay?)

i wanted to make sure she was alright before i threw my feelings at her. there was a small pause before she started tearing up.

"i broke up with carla."

her voice was small, quiet, very un-patri-like.

"oh, mi cariño." (oh, my darling.)

i hugged her immediately, cradling her head in the crook of my neck. my heart itself was jumping for joy but crying at the same time. she was single.

we sat together, just holding each other, for what seemed like forever, or at least until patri stopped crying. "do you want to talk?"

"she called me today, after training, and we ended up in another argument. i don't remember what it was about this time. she was yelling and i had enough so i told her it was over." it was short and blunt but to the point. our hands were still interlinked, my thumb rubbing up and down.

"i'm so proud of you. i know that sounds weird, but you weren't happy with her and the team could tell. you did what was best for you." i hoped my words were the right ones.

patri looked at me and broke into a smile, the first genuine one i'd seen from her in days. "i'm so glad i had you here with me." she hugged me again, her arms weaving themselves around my waist. my body froze, short-circuited at her touch.

i was extremely unsure if i was reading too much into the action. but when we pulled apart patri was closer. she was very close to my face and it took everything in me not to kiss her.

we held eye contact before everything stopped, she leant in and our lips collided. i let her take control of the situation, not wanting to push anything. patri pulled away and her eyes widened at what just happened.

"lo siento mucho, i'm so sorry, y/n." (i’m so sorry)

it took me a second but i smiled at her surprise.

"you have no idea how long i wanted that for."

"¿qué?" (what?)

"sí, i've wanted to kiss you for ages." (yes) i

t was almost like a joke to me now, i knew everything was ok and i wasn't afraid to speak my feelings. patri was the opposite, practically a stuttering mess which i never thought i'd see.

"patri." i grabbed her hand.

"what i'm trying to say is that i like you. i have since before you started dating carla. now you're not, and i'm telling you i like you." i watched as she processed what i'd told her.

"¿quieres ser mi novia?" (do you want to be my girlfriend?)

i slowly smiled at her words.

"sí. i would love to be your girlfriend, patri." (yes.)

#woso #woso x reader #woso community #patri guijarro #patri guijarro x reader #patri guijarro imagine

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au-wannabe-the-very-best · 6 months

Text

In Modern Day Ghost, Ingo still gets Hisuied, but Akari finds a way to go after him and disguises herself as a human 10 year old. She's gotten better at her illusions at this point, and can now make herself look almost exactly as she did before she died, although her hair is still more gray than it is black. She also still has trouble emulating people past the age of 10.

Ingo still gets amnesia. Akari doesn't really know how to deal with that without possibly fucking Ingo up, like, psychologically, so she doesn't say anything to him and just waits for the opportunity to throw him at a modern doctor and therapist.

Around the end of the whole Hisui event, Akari drags Ingo to the temple and summons Arceus. She's like hey could you bring us home? And Arceus is like er. I can only do that with one of you.

And, Akari, being a literal ghost, realizes she's functionally immortal, so is like. Oh send Ingo then, lol, easy decision.

And Ingo, once again not knowing Akari's thought process as usual, is horrified by her quick decision. This is a child who just casually threw her chance at getting home away for him. What about her family?

And Akari's like oh don't worry about it, you ARE my family! Anyways, we'll see each other again in the future! Love you Dad, bye!

And then Ingo gets thrown back to Unova before he can say anything.

With her job done, Akari pats herself on the back. Arceus, watching this, comes to the sudden realization that Akari didn't actually make an informed decision just now. Because it doesn't seem to really hit her that she just doomed herself to waiting for two whole centuries before she can ever see her loved ones, her dad, again. There is a distinct possibility she won't even remember Ingo's face or voice by the time she rolls back to the modern day.

Arceus is like... Well, I can't send another person back right now, time and space is already EXTREMELY fragile and I need to get working on repairing this mess. Uhhh.

Hey Akari. How do you feel about being in stasis? It's just like time travel, sorta, you'll fall asleep and wake up back in your own time. Except you'll have to make the journey from here to Unova yourself.

Akari's like hmmm. Sounds cool! Okay let's do that!

Back in Modern Day Unova, Ingo is being reunited with his brother and SOBBING because his DAUGHTER AKARI got LEFT BEHIND, she's probably DEAD NOW—

And Emmet, remembering their Zorua Akari, who froze to death and was a weirdly big fan of Ingo the first time they met, is like UH. YOUR DAUGHTER WHO??

Wrong conclusions are being made.

#Akari From Our World #Akari the Modern Day Ghost #Submas #Subway Boss Ingo #Ingo #Papa Ingo #Akari #PLA Akari #Warden Ingo #Pokemon #Pokémon

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