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tears-of-boredom · 1 year

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i have a headache. and I hate my life. i dont know if its because of the meeting with the adult or because i feel like I fucked up my disco ely run. sorry for the spoilers but i fucking got him shot. he didnt trust me enough. oh my fucking god. im probably genuinely going to start all over again. i cant continue the run with that weighing on me. ill at least load a couple saves back. do the whole ruby thing later. or maybe i just feel shitty because i have a headache. and maybe i have a headache cause ive been staring at my computer screen the whole day...I wish the days were longer. i wish i could sleep and not have to face a new day. why cant the time just stop with me. why does it have to run on without me. i fucking hate adults. they speak as if theyre so nice and try to help, all while implying with every sentence that all of this is my fault. like sorry but this started early enough that the only thing that can be blamed is what raised me. and that is my mom assuring me that i can come to her for help, even though she's lying and is never truly able to help me. vacations spent at my father's, who never uttered a word beyond "shut the lights when you go to sleep" and openly smoked infront of the unlit fireplace, where the ventilation duct was. grandparents who got angry randomly, who you learned to tiptoe around, grandparents who started a screaming match with a 6 year old if she didnt want to go skiing in the winter, if she didn't want to go swimming in the summer, grandparents who walked back on their promises constantly, and got angry with you when you called them out, or tried to play it off as a joke, made you feel like an asshole if you continued to confront them about it. aunts that would scream at their own kids out of nowhere. cousins that either constantly cursed you out, or put you on such a high pedestal that you felt like you were constantly lying to them by just existing. a brother who was the only one out of us to be spared from the fate of growing up prematurely, who I blamed for all the screaming matches he and my mother got into. that one kindergarten teacher that called me patient, for just waiting for her to come back. the friend who made fun of me for not knowing things about gymnastics. a classmate whose mood could turn sour at any moment. a teacher who seemed to hate his job.

i feel like at the very least im owed being allowed to be this fucked up. allowed to be doing shit at school. allowed to hate every adult i am forced to talk to. allowed to not have any hobbies. allowed to fucking choose who i want to spend time with. allowed to learn to fucking say no without feeling guilt. allowed to be stuck in the past. allowed to stay in my room for days, not letting anyone in. allowed some fucking respect even if I refuse to talk.

#venting

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trashcankitty12 · 1 year

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I'm going to scream into the void. Not looking for anything but a way to get this out and maybe let someone else feeling this way know they aren't alone.

So Rant:

I've not been in the holiday spirit this year and I've honestly been feeling MEH for awhile.

I'm doing my best with keeping up with my treatments and shit, except for my psoriasis stuff because I have to fucking start over with a new treatment. (So in the meantime, I'm scaly. Yay.)

Its cold in my area, which isn't normal. Very rarely do we get below 32°F. Rarely. We're currently at 10°. Yeah.

The cold is bad for numerous reasons. Right now the main ones in my mind are: my animals may not be warm enough because this is abnormal colds for us, and the small child can't go and play outside.

The child in question is also getting on my last nerve and I have thought of up and leaving a few times. I can't for several reasons, but I'm getting to my limit.

I just can't. The kid is loud and doesn't mind. No "parenting styles" seem to be working on the kid. The teacher at their school has been having issues with the kid discipline wise and kind wise. (Kid likes to throw things and hit others. Yes they do that at home too.)

But I'm not the child's parent and I'm not the one mainly responsible, so any attempt I make at correction is not taken well. And I'm seen as "touchy" and just "ill".

Maybe i am. I'm not a kid person, never want them. But fuck this kid is going to grow up to be a bully or something with how theyre acting. Even the teachers are seeing problems with the kid.

And yes, i get that the child needs patience because "theyre young" and a drug baby. But good lord these temper tantrums aren't normal. The shouting and throwing things and flying in to hit people. The arguing and trying to "throw hands" with adults and kids alike. And the refusal to sit down and even try to have conversations.

And it's worse now that they can't play outside and that there are people coming and going for the holidays. Infinitely worse.

Not even the threats of the Naughty List are working.

This kid is just...

I just cant.

Makes me want to go home but I can't do that because i am home and they're here. And its not my call.

But if it was... Im not sure what else can be done because this kid's only other hope is foster care or other grandma. And the other grandma, who is supposed to have custody anyway, isn't exactly someone who should be in charge of kids. Her own children are testaments to that.

(How did she get custody? Simple. She wasnt on drugs. Thats basically the only requirement.)

My grandparents and i shouldn't be dealing with this kid. My health issues and my grandparents' health and ages should be proof of that. But the kid's grandma, my cousin, left the kid with us. We've had the kid since they were 2 weeks old.

Why did it have to be us? Why couldn't they take responsibility? Why couldnt she help the kid?

And now it's just...

I hate it. And i hate that I feel so strongly because the kid is just a kid. They are innocent. I get it.

But I still hate the whole bit. I hate my nerves being constantly on edge. I hate being yelled at and i hate trying to literally block a kid from hitting me or biting me. I hate having shit thrown at me. I hate having to watch every moment the kid is around to make sure my cats are safe. I hate it.

#rant #personal #personal i guess #cw: kids #cw: anti kid #cw: drug mentions

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flooficandii · 2 years

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the oc interaction special™

alrighty folks this is the moment youve been waiting for this is a handy dandy little compilation of nuniq and valotumblr ocs interacting

note:: these will mostly be one-sided since i won't write your oc's dialogue without your permission teehees .

starting off with her more "canon" interactions since me and stars (@starstainedarts) write together a lot 👍

lakan

in the storyline where we mush up all our ocs together, lakan is the one that convinces nuniq to join the protocol

nuniq saw the kingdom logo on brim's pauldron and immediately decided these people were not worth listening to

soOOOO naturally youre gonna wanna bring out the radiant professor who spent the past few years being a sore in kingdom's neck

lakan and nuniq have pretty similar experiences. they're part of the "kingdom fucked up my home" club

although nuniq was still wary and standoffish to the rest of the protocol at first, she and lakan got along really quick

she trusts them enough to take her blood even after seeing them on the field lmaO

lakan is sorta like an older brother figure to her. they're like an unhinged version of her old friend amaruq

they steal her dog sometimes. it annoys her but she can't do anything about it because aput loVES lakan

overall they have a very deep trust and they both empathize with eachother. theres so much lore to go over with both of them but i'll shorten it for the sake of this post hHFJDJGK

tefnut

if lakan is an older sibling to nuniq, tefnut is sorta like a little sister

...a little cousin, more of

their radiants are interconnected (tefnut to water, nuniq to snow) so i like to imagine they help eachother develop their skills

they play this little game where tefnut tries to turn a snowball into liquid, passes it, and nuniq tries to freeze the water blob

its like .. liquid tennis

eventually it gets bigger and bigger , cleo for example would send a wave towards her and nuniq would turn it into a thin sheet of ice

clean, just like that

unfortunately tefnut is a duelist SOOOO theres a bit of babysitting involved /j

especially when it involves yoru

cleo will sneak back into the base from a late night out with him and theres nuniq in the lobby picking tangles out of aput's fur

"you went out with the punk again? mhm. alright, tef. i won't tell your mom."

overall wholesome friendship but they can be very scary when synergized

shatter

nuniq respects cairo very much as a leader

cairo on the other hand, treats nuniq the way she wished she was treated

theyre both people who knows what it feels like to look after/worry about a team, except shatter is much more experienced whereas nuniq was forced to take on that role

shatter helps nuniq feel at ease during missions. this is a competent and capable woman who knows when to call the shots

she's the protocol's mOM lmao

"you're deadly, shatter. i think we'll work together just fine."

"you've got glass, i've got ice. what say we cut 'em up?"

side note!! brim's relationship with shatter, tefnut, and kj helps nuniq further trust him. she respects that he fights for a safe future for and alongside his family

(i am once again advertising how much i love sandstone . shatter and brim old married couple fr fr)

--alright!! i just about covered the lorey interactions so valotumblr oc funsies below this line--

tao (@rerenah)

kingdom. (derogatory)

alSO THE RBF🤝🤝🤝 ITS SO REAL LMAO

theyre both the intimidating quiet type so seeing them together would be . intimidating squared

but do approach them

i dont think tao wants to let on as scary + nuniq will show trust as soon as her gut decides you're good

she admires his selflessness in that his healing requires the draining of his own life force

her respect towards him is in a way similar to the way she respects sage

except in a more relatable way because it involves sacrifice

i honestly feel like she'd yell at yoru to get off his ass because she thinks tao is trying his absolute hardest

she's 100% willing to stand up for him tbh . but this is something tao and yoru will settle on their own so she lets them be

"tao. no need to break a leg for me, alright? if i get hurt, save your stuff for someone else."

"you do so much to protect us, tao. i'm proud of you."

noura (@lemonssoda)

the whole noura situation would throw her off tbh

*looks around* CYPHERS KID IS ALIVE???

having noura around helps nuniq better understand cypher. whether he likes it or not his dad side WILL be vulnerable to the rest of the team and nuniq just appreciates that

as for noura herself, nuniq is surprised at how.. different noura is from cypher

if cyphers conniving and secretive noura is very bouncy and peppy

its almost funny

but there are a few similarities, like their wits, info-gathering and maybe even their laugh

(yes this is a suggestion to give noura and cypher the same laugh haha wink wink nudge nudge)

from her abilities and personality i take it that noura can be a little . brash in battle lmaO so that means nuniq would have to keep a very close eye on her

it pays off though, sometimes it takes brute strength to reinforce a tight defense

i think these two would get along!! noura might (lovingly) annoy nuniq but she cares for her. on a mission nuniq might try to protect noura specifically because cypher's already lost his family once, and she'll try to stop that from happening again.

"noura, put down the snowballs. only i can use those. okay? okay."

"i gotta hand it to you, noura. that was fantastic. this isn't permission for you to run into the enemy again, but.. good job."

aurora (@a-valorant-effort)

dude i wont lie i feel like nuniq might turn to aurora for mentorship sometimes

nuniq had noone to turn to when she was still figuring out her radiance so most of it is self-taught, but aurora could possibly give her some wisdom that she could never grasp on her own

if ever she hears about how aurora acquired her radiance she'd be so.. surprised

after something so scary and life-altering it's amazing to see how composed she is

she has the experience of a school teacher and the radiant mastery of a goddess

she FEARS this woman. in a good way

i think the closest comparison i could make is with astra?

both astra and aurora have the capacity to fuck up the world as we know it but they're on the good side. thank god

"aurora, nakurmiik. you make my job so much easier."

"i'll try my best to help you protect this place, aurora."

koi (@niagaragrape)

KOI IS SO SWEET.

KOI . IS SO . S W E ET

shes an aggressive and mobile pusher but shes polite and follows orders so shes nuniqs type of person fr

i feel like these two would make snowmen together no doubt

then koi would slap some ink and stickers on them

koi is everyones little sister i said what i said

nuniq is not exempted one bit

in that sense i feel she'd be the most protective with her? not so much as to smother her of course, koi is still a grown lady

but she wants to make sure nobody takes advantage of her kindness

glares at yoru

now of course yorus nice to her and everything but nuniq just wants to make sure he doesnt say anything stupid

hes just.. blunt and insensitive sometimes so its hard to trust a person like that with koi yknow

koi? nuniq will let you cry into her dog just putting that out

"koi! i have an extra parka in the back of my closet. just say the word and it's yours. i'm sure you'll spice it up with some cartoony patches, yeah?"

"if you find yourself in a pinch, koi– run to me. i'll provide you some cover."

cub (@fishincherrycola)

ok wait interactions aside could i as the writer just say i love how droopy cub is HFJDKGKDK

she's so sadness from inside out-coded /pos

fish put this interaction in the comments and i loved it so im gonna put it here

"cub— CUB. you're not supposed to put that in your mouth. it'll cut up your tongue and freeze it, cub. goodness."

.. context, cub was Consuming her snow

nuniq WILL question cub's choices for being into chamber but like. oh well theres nothing she can do

(same with lakan i will mention)

(or any chamber-dating oc in general. but her opinions aren't mine i encourage you all to get his french ass)

she will gladly keep him from interacting with astra he gives her the nasties lol

but since cub chooses to associate herself with chamber,,,mmm,,,, maybe she won't try to interact with her that much outside of work

sort of a silent agreement but it's a teeny bit selfish on nuniqs' part because its mostly her own motivation to keep astra safe in case chamber wants to weaponize her

aqua (@aurorasoratumbles)

similarly to tefnut, i can imagine aqua and nuniq practicing their radiants together!

i think this is a given for any water radiant oc lol

hehehe theres the little prompt of aqua and nuniq dishing the dirt on anyone in the protocol.. tfw you love your teammates but sometimes they just irk you and you HAVE to talk about them

okay though

aqua being close to chamber?

and nuniq being on good terms with aqua?

that forms a little bit of a strange triangle

nuniq can't exactly break a tight bond because of her distrust towards chamber, so in this scenario,,,, she might actually learn to *retches* trust chamber a bit

especially with how chamber genuinely seems to be a good friend towards aqua

im not sure how it would come to light exactly, but if nuniq ever found out about what aqua did to her brother? she'd sympathize so hard

she's heard many stories about how the vp's radiance costed them their normal lives and their loved ones. she's been there too, just not on this level

angsty lore aside (aqua may you find some rest gHFJDJGJ please take a nap and eat some gummy worms) nuniq thinks aqua brings a lot of value to the team

ukiyo (@melonnmiru)

any kind of radiance that involves things not immediately visible to the eye (such as astra's cosmic powers, or spiritual/otherworldly interference) catches nuniq's attention

i think nuniq does believe in a few spiritual things herself, mostly from inuit mythology

so for ukiyo to bridge the gap between the dead and the living,,,,a scary power, but an amazing one when used correctly and put in the right hands

that being said i'm not entirely sure nuniq would trust in her abilities yet

she'd rather have ukiyo train her radiance first, or keep watch on her if ever she has to go into the field

so as much as she doesn't want to, she'll be a bit strict around her

its for her safety mostly, its one thing to be given radiance– another thing to be in charge of literal spirits

chameleon (@lianecamoufle)

canonically...there might be a bit of wariness/hostility because of chameleons history as a kingdom scientist

as with all kingdom employees it will take quite a while for nuniq to trust her

especially considering chameleon hasn't shown any clear resistance to kingdom, and was only taken in after her radianite exposure

in fact, nuniq wonders if shes aware of all the atrocities kingdom has done

viper acknowledges her faults as a kingdom chemist, brim wears their symbol almost as an act of rebellion (in my headcanon at least) but chameleon hasn't shown any remorse whatsoever for what kingdom has done. either she's naive to their actions or she directly helped in them, which nuniq fears

her being childhood friends with chamber unfortunately does not help the case ,,,,,

as much as nuniq wants to trust her friendly face her gut instincts make it difficult to do so. she'll respect her as a colleague but she'll try to keep her distance

"all these processing plants. reminds me of the one that they built over my home. maybe you might know something about it, chameleon?"

"gotta say, turning invisible is a really good fallback. running is what kingdom does best, right?"

#tldr #kingdom is to nuniq what radiants are to kay/o #valorant oc #valorant nuniq #THESE WERE REALLY FUN TO DO BTW!! im glad you all let me write your ocs!!#some mentions of oc x canon hehe #valorant lakan #valorant shatter #valorant tefnut #valorant tao #valorant noura #valorant aurora #valorant koi #valorant ukiyo #valorant cub #valorant aqua #valorant chameleon #oc interaction #oc interactions

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smells-like-mettaton · 3 years

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Perhaps #5 (Hold my Hand) with Papyton for the fic ask game if you are still doing it?

(I hope you're okay with me writing this as a sequel to one of my other papyton fics! This could still be read on its own, but it will make more sense if you read the first chapter. If you don't want to, just know that the part in italics at the beginning is from a fanfic that Alphys wrote.)

The Greatest Fanfiction of All: The Sequel

Rating: T Word Count: 1687 Read on AO3: here

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Papyrus’s hands are warm. Of course they are. Theyre always covered in gloves. Not even Mettaton, his boyfriend of one month and thirteen days, knows what his bony phalanges look like beneath the plush red fabric.

But tonight, that's going to change.

xxx

Exactly one month and thirteen days had passed since Mettaton had read the beginning of Alphys’s “papyton” fanfiction. It also happened to be one month and thirteen days since Papyrus had agreed to be his boyfriend, sending him on a magical journey of love and romance.

That journey had given him plenty of new perspectives and discoveries. Yet the mystery of what lie under Papryus’s gloves was not one of them.

He sat next to Mettaton on their usual bench at the center of the hedge maze. The sky was dark with stormclouds, which kept any stray spectators away from the park. Papyrus was prepared, as usual; a tall MTT-Brand Umbrella leaned against his femur. Nothing and no one would ruin this moment.

Now Mettaton just needed to have the moment. Preferably without resorting to calling Alphys and Frisk again.

“METTATON? IS SOMETHING THE MATTER?” Papyrus asked, his browbone furrowing in concern.

Mettaton’s fingers were already laced through his; Mettaton rubbed his thumb against the back of Papyrus’s glove.

“Well. It is a very special day, darling.” Special enough that Mettaton had worn the outfit Papyrus loved most—a cropped shirt that said COOL ROBOT and galaxy-print leggings that hugged his metallic thighs. Papyrus himself had worn a bright Tetris shirt and shorts that exposed his gleaming femurs.

“IT IS?” Papyrus blinked. “IS THERE A SALE ON RIGATONI? BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT STARTED NEXT WEEK.”

“Hm? Oh—not that I know of, but I will keep that in mind.” He imagined creating a pasta bouquet for Papyrus, and a smile graced his lips. “Today is the one month and thirteen day anniversary of our glamorous romance.”

“WOWIE! TIME FLIES WHEN YOU’RE DATING A HOT ROBOT!” Papyrus grinned, pressing his teeth to Mettaton’s cheek in a close approximation of a kiss. “HAPPY ONE MONTH AND THIRTEEN DAYS, METTATON! IS THERE A SPECIAL WAY YOU WANT TO CELEBRATE?”

It was perfect. Mettaton couldn’t have set it up better if he tried.

“Actually…” He turned Papyrus’s hand over, examining every seam and stitch in his crimson glove. “I was hoping to see your hands. I know they’re just as handsome as the rest of you.”

He winked, and a light blush spread across Papyrus’s cheekbones.

“MY HANDS? I’D GLOVE TO! BUT, ERM…” His fingers disentangled from Mettatons, instead fidgeting nervously with the hem of his right glove. “I DON’T KNOW THAT YOU WOULD FIND THEM AS UNBEARABLY ATTRACTIVE AS THE REST OF ME.”

Coming from Papyrus, that was practically a statement of self-loathing. Guilt bubbled in Mettaton’s soul-tank.

“Beautiful.” He grasped the top of his boyfriend’s arms and squeezed them gently. “There is not a bone in your body that I would not find attractive. Of course, I will not ask you to perform if you are suffering stage fright, but I do think you shine so much brighter in the light.”

Papyrus smiled a little, though his browbone was still turned upward with worry.

"IF YOU'RE SURE…"

"Positive as my ratings, darling."

Papyrus nodded slowly. "I TRUST YOU, METTATON."

Those words were like ambrosia to Mettaton's soul. He would do anything to remain worthy of his boyfriend's trust.

"PLEASE, JUST… DON'T BE FRIGHTENED, ALRIGHT?"

Mettaton couldn't imagine anything about Papyrus being frightening.

Then, with agonizing care, Papyrus peeled off his gloves. And Mettaton understood.

The bones of his hands were scorched an ashen gray, nearly black. Hairline cracks laced through them like spiderwebs. Mettaton was half afraid that if he touched them, they would crumble to dust.

"I'M FINE, REALLY!" Papyrus must have noticed the look on his face, no matter how quickly Mettaton had schooled his expression. "THESE BURNS ARE SO OLD, I BARELY NOTICE THEY'RE THERE!"

His grin was strained. Mettaton wanted nothing more than to reach out and squeeze his hand, but he didn't dare.

"They don't hurt?" Mettaton asked, then winced. He could've phrased that more tactfully. It was probably better than asking how on earth the injury had happened, at least.

"WELL… THEY ARE A BIT SENSITIVE WITHOUT MY GLOVES. THEY HAVE HEALING MAGIC, YOU SEE." Papyrus held out one of his red gloves, his expression turning to one of pride. "SANS DID THE SEWING, AND I DID THE ENCHANTMENT."

"No wonder you love them so much." Mettaton smiled. It was adorable how much Papyrus loved his brother. Their love had inspired Mettaton to finally patch up his relationship with Blooky and Mew Mew.

Papyrus smiled back, running a charred fingertip fondly over the fabric. "WOULD YOU… LIKE TO TRY ONE ON?"

"Me?" Mettaton blinked.

"OF COURSE! WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO EXPERIENCE THE GREAT PAPYRUS'S LEGENDARY HEALING MAGIC FIRSTHAND?"

Mettaton chuckled at the pun. "How could I possibly refuse?"

He slipped off his white gloves, revealing the unsightly bolts in his own fingers. He hardly felt self-conscious about that after seeing Papyrus's hands, though.

Papyrus's glove fit like a dream. Like holding his hand, only from the inside. Warmth seeped from the fabric into his metal joints, slipping through his cracks like sweet oil.

"This is… quite the enchantment," he breathed.

Papyrus couldn’t be in pain with that much healing magic caressing his bones. But on the other hand, even the constant healing magic had failed to permanently erase the scars. Mettaton still wasn’t too familiar with physical injuries, but surely that wasn’t normal, right?

Papyrus’s wink sounded like magical glitter."WHAT CAN I SAY? I'M VERY ENCHANTING."

He looked just as bright as ever. Just as energetic, as full of life.

Just as beautiful, inside and out.

"That you are, darling." Mettaton kissed his cheek.

Papyrus pulled his left glove back onto his hand, then twined his fingers with Mettaton's. Red on red, warmth on warmth Their hands matched perfectly.

"YOU PROBABLY HAVE SOME QUESTIONS," Papyrus said quietly.

Mettaton's eye flickered to Papyrus's bare right hand before returning to his eyesockets.

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't feel comfortable with, darling."

Mettaton was curious of course. If this injury had been caused by another monster, they would face the wrath of a true killer robot. Knowing Papyrus, though, he had probably forgiven whoever was responsible.

"I ALWAYS FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH YOU." He smiled. "AND IT IS… NICE. TO HAVE SOMEONE BESIDES SANS KNOW THIS."

"No one else knows?" Mettaton’s eyes widened. He'd thought Undyne would have found out, whether Papyrus told her on purpose or she burned off his gloves during one of their cooking lessons.

"I AM A SKELETON OF MANY SECRETS." Papyrus winked again. This time it sounded like tinkling bells. "IT HELPS THAT NO ONE ELSE REMEMBERS THE ACCIDENT, THOUGH."

An accident. No one had hurt Papyrus on purpose.

Mettaton sighed in relief, powering down his killer robot protocols.

"I WAS HELPING MY DAD WITH HIS WORK ON THE CORE. I ALWAYS CALIBRATED THE PUZZLES WHILE HE CALIBRATED THE GEOTHERMAL POWER LEVELS."

Papyrus looked down at their tangled hands, his expression distant.

"I STILL DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. ON THE DAYS SANS REMEMBERS, HE PROMISES THAT IT WASN'T MY FAULT. THAT DAD WAS TOO CARELESS. BUT THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION, AND DAD, HE… HE FELL…"

Something in Mettaton crushed as Papyrus's voice cracked.

"I WAS LUCKIER. THE BLAST ONLY GOT MY HANDS." The smile returned.

"Papyrus…"

Mettaton didn't know what to say. What could he say? Ghosts didn't have parents. His cousins were his family, but he couldn't imagine them dying, either. Blooky physically couldn't.

But this wasn't about him! It was about Papyrus, who had lost his father and scarred his hands and still counted himself lucky.

"DON'T BE SAD, METTATON. IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. LONGER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE."

Papyrus looked into his eyes, and for a moment, Mettaton saw something old. Mettaton had been alive—albeit as a ghost—for nearly two centuries. Right now, though, Mettaton wondered if Papyrus was even older than that.

"I suppose so,” he reluctantly admitted. “I don't even remember an explosion at the CORE."

"OH, THAT'S NORMAL. APPARENTLY DAD WAS RATHER FORGETTABLE." His smile was sad. "EVEN SANS DOESN'T ALWAYS REMEMBER HIM. BUT I… WELL."

He closed his blackened fist.

"IT WOULD BE DIFFICULT TO FORGET."

Mettaton opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Luckily, it didn’t seem like Papyrus was looking for a response.

“WHEW! ALL THIS HONESTY IS EXHAUSTING!!” Sweat beaded on his skull. “DO YOU WANT TO GO GET NICE CREAMS?”

“Of course, darling, but—are you sure that you’re okay?” Mettaton couldn’t help the concern in his voice. It wasn’t every day that he unlocked his boyfriend’s tragic backstory.

And here he’d been so concerned about something as trivial as holding hands. He truly was as selfish as everyone believed.

“PLEASE, DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME,” Papyrus said firmly. His hand gave Mettaton’s a tight squeeze. “I MEANT IT WHEN I SAID IT WAS LONG AGO. PRACTICALLY A DIFFERENT LIFETIME. I ONLY TOLD YOU SO THAT YOU WOULD KNOW HOW MUCH I TRUST YOU.”

Trust. Mettaton trusted Papyrus, too. Trusted that he didn’t need Mettaton to coddle him. Trusted that if he wanted Mettaton’s help, he would ask for it.

“I… thank you, darling.” Ghostly tears welled in his eyes. “Your trust means everything to me.”

“WELL THEN!” Papyrus’s grin turned mischievous. “I TRUST YOU TO KISS ME UNTIL I CAN’T BREATHE!”

Mettaton’s fans whirred and whirred. The sound was quickly drowned out by the raindrops that began to fall and fizzle on his shoulder pads.

“Darling, you’re a skeleton. You don’t have lungs.”

“NEITHER DO YOU.” Papyrus twirled the umbrella before popping it open, protecting Mettaton from the threat of short-circuiting.

(From the rain, at least.)

“You truly know how to give me a challenge, darling.” Mettaton cuddled closer, reaching up to brush his red-gloved hand against Papyrus’s cheekbone.

“ONLY BECAUSE I KNOW YOU’LL RISE TO IT!”

Mettaton grinned back, and that was exactly what he did.

#fic tag #prompt requests #papyton #tali writes #papyrus #mettaton

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alientrashlord · 3 years

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How is everyone ? Hope youre all doing well. Sorry i haven't been online in a long time. My dad had cancer for 3 years and then he caught covid pneumonia, passed away on December 1, 2020. My world has been flipped upside down. The man who wrote my dad's will did it wrong. I was suppose to keep 5 out of 21 acres that ive lived on since i was 3. Also i would get 65% of the rest of the property, his business, and machinery/tools. The problem is, he did not have two witnesses sign the paper at the same time. Plus the dates were not on the same day. So now, i have a 20+ older half sister that never ever wanted to do anything with my dad. Like he wasnt the best Damn dad on earth. So now i lost my dad, and my home. I'm still here for now but I have court on Friday with my cousin who stole a bunch of my dad's stuff. IF he brings it back before Friday we don't have to go. But i doubt it. Then either we find a high price buyer or it all goesto auction and it gets split 50/50 with me and her. I'm so afraid that I'm not going to get enough money to fully start over. And I'm so not ready to lose this place. My dad put his blood, sweat, and tears for 25 years into this place. It was all just swamp land and forest when we moved here. Now it is this beautiful home full of nature and peace. Then i quit my job in March and i havent been working since. Idk where I'm going to be moving to so I'm not sure where to find a job. I don't just want to quit on a company. We also had to get an eviction notice for this crazy bjtch living in an RV on the property. My electric use to be around 300$ a month but now it's over 2000!!!! And i can't pay that. Oh and I lose My temper all the time now and the whole day was bad and then I lost My fork when I was about to eat and i got mad and punched a wall. Broke my pinky knuckle, doctor called it a boxers fracture. I'm getting a cast for it tomorrow. OH AND MY SHITTY HALF SISTER IS TRYING TO BUY MY HOME TOO!!!! 😡😡😡😡😡

We didn't have a fridge for like the first 4 months after my dad died because the air compressor in it went bad. Our furnace took a shit too so now we don't have heat. Im hoping we can get in a place before winter. Im so afraid im going to have no place to go and have to live out of my car that has old stickers, no insurance, AND i havent been able to pay it so now theyre looking to repo it. I need a place in Michigan for me and my bf and our 12 cats and 2 dogs. Also if you live near Elkhart, IN and want a kitten let me know!! I'm hoping to keep at least 6 of them. I just love them all so much. I need a break.

😢😭😰😥😞

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littlx-songbxrd · 3 years

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Chain of Iron:Death theory

As the awaited release date for Chain of Iron approaches and the fandom decends into pure madness, I want to put in my last two cents of overthinking before I stop having coherent thoughts

So we all know this is a second book, and second books bring the absolute pain in the shadowhunter chronicles. There is likely going to be a death from the mains considering the theme of this book, and I am here to throw my theory and reasons as to who I think it might be. Im here to sadly theorize about why I think Christopher Lightwood might not make it past the last hours

1. Tatianas revenge

Right now, Tatiana wants revenge after all our main families: the carstairs, herondales, fairchilds and both branches of the lightwoods. For the lightwood-collins theres barbaras death. For the herondales her daughter has been manipulating their son for over 6 years. Theres a theory that the fairy poison Mathew bought that caused Charlottes misscarriage could be traced back to her. And there are other theories that Elias dissaperance between chog and choi could have something to do with Belial. As of right now the only family who is yet to recieve any permanent damage or tragedy are the lightwood-herondales. Which is really ironic considering its the only family that has two bloodlines Tatiana wants to harm. Not only that, but theyre also the children of who Tatiana blames directly for her fathers death, Gabriel. It seems fishy to me there hasn't been any permanent damage in their family, and I dont think that is gonna last for long

2. The family tree

The family tree states that Grace Cartwright (Aka Grace Blackthorn) marries Christopher Lightwood and theyre the ones who continue the line that leads to Alec and Isabelle. Now Cassandra has said varius times the family tree can be misleading, and I am a firm believer this is one of the misleading ends. Why this lie was created, I'm not sure, but lets analize some things. As of right now there are 5 lightwood children. At least 3 of them can pass down the lightwood name. Of those three, if we take into account that Thomas may not have kids due to being gay, that still leaves two branches of lightwood kids that may continue on. As of present time we only have word of one line, Alec and Isabelles. And Robert isnt said to have any cousins, theres no mention in the future of another lightwood line. So the idea that both Alexander and Christopher have kids is pretty unbelivable considering theres only one lightwood line in the future. Unless Alexander goes on to have only girls and Christopher has only one boy, it seems more likely the family tree is wrong. Isabelle and Alec are confirmed as of the bane chronicles to be decendants of Gabriel lightwood (Isabelle makes a reference to looking up her great great grandfather Gabriel Lightwood and telling magnus he was hot in the last story of the book)

So its already confirmed they're a) the last decendants of the lightwood line and b) that line stems from Gabriel. If we based ourselves solely on the family tree and Christopher being the one carrying the line, that would have been believable enough not to raise any red flags. Christopher IS the son of Grabriel Lightwood, able bodied and seems to have a general attraction to women (I mean, we all know hes aro/ace but lets stick with canon). There isnt anything pointing to him not being able to marry and have kids. Where the red flags raise for me is with Alexander

Alexander wasnt in the original plans for the family tree, he was added when Cassie started writting the last hours. If you take into account his role in chog, there really was no reason to add Alexander Lightwood. He doesnt seem to do anything, hes a 3 year old kid, you can very well delete him from the narrative and nothing would change. So why did Cassandra add him?? Why did she decide to make Cecily and Gabriel have another kid ?

To me, it seems a lot like the baby carstairs situation . The family tree says Alastair carries the carstairs line, Alastair is a gay man so he cant have biological kids, theres another unplaned baby to carry the line. It seems to me Christopher carrying the lightwood line is a lie, and Alexanders role is to carry it in his place. I even found a little info from an ask wayy before chain of gold came out where it said Alexander had green eyes, but in the book she changed it to blue eyes. The exact same shade the modern day lightwoods seem to have. A trait hes more likely to pass down than his lavender eyed brother who supposedly "marries" grey eyed grace

3. Character Arc

Characters in literature need goals, things to work for or work towards through the story in order for them to develop. We call those things character arcs, and it seems we have all ignored how christophers may have indirectly ended. If you read his short story, or just overall analize his character, his main goal is simple. He wants to create something that will help the nephlim through science. His personal character arc is that he wants to prove himself and his skill to the clave using his passion to be a hero.

An arc that could have been expanded all through the series, and ended with him using his skills in the end to defeat belial in some way, proving his passions worth. Through the story we could have had a glimpse at his struggles, how he was put down, the failed attempts, fustrations etc. This all could have rounded christopher as a character, and brought more satisfaction to the end goal of his arc which is proving the value of his science. But instead, his arc in book seemingly already ended? Because he did it, he figured out a way to combine science with his duty and saved the entire enclave from the demon poison. He is now acclaimed a hero for his skills. All the other characters have things to finish going into chain of iron, Christopher doesnt. Why would she end an arc that could have taken through the entire series in just one book? Christopher is the only secondary character with a defined personality and a lack of arc to look foward too in following books. This could all point that his arc was rushed because it was being cut short

4. Lightwood blood

There has been a lot of theories going around about Thomas being the one who gets killed in this book, which is resonable considering the unerving amount of forehsadowing we've had to him getting himself caught up in something. But I raise you this, why would CC be giving us so much assurance that Thomas was going to get hurt if she was going to kill him? Not only would she be reaveling one of her most devastating murders, she would basically be spoiling a very big part of her own book. Thomas death would affect everyone, if she WERE to kill him she wouldnt be indulging us in our Thomas death theory as much as she has. Itd be too expectable, I actually believe that by giving us all the info she has she has more or less confirmed he wont die.

I believe this is all a decoy. Shes giving us foreshadowing towards something bad happening to Thomas, to cover up the very big reality shes planning to kill someone else. Theres a very big chance that for the resurection, theyre gonna need Jesses families blood. Same way Malcom needed blackthorn blood to raise Annabel. As of rightnow there arent any blackthorns (by blood) left alive, the only blood relatives Jesse still had are the lightwoods. So we already know Thomas gets captured by the murderer (referenece to the art), but it is most likely he gets rescued. People speculate he most likely got captured for the resurection Tatianas trying to do, because of his lightwood blood. But if Thomas escapes, Tatiana still needs her families blood. And I'd like to point out this is also where the fact she hasnt taken permanent revenge on the lightwood-herondales would come in. Theres a good chance that if the murders are releated to her, and she cant have Thomas, she wont stop at just Thomas.

5. Story relevance

In all sense of story, Christopher is the perfect candidate to kill. As hard as that is to say: he's a secondary character, who has a well defined personality, loved enough by the fans that there would certainly be a shock factor following his death, important enough to the story that there would be a big impact to the narrative, and interwined enough with the main characters to cause emotional distress in the story. His arc is indirectly done, this author has a history of killing lightwoods, there isnt much to discourage the possibility he might be killed besides the faulty family tree. And as I said, that tree has been stated multiple times to be misleading

Bonus prove

6. Christophers cut-out

Same way were analizing the hell out of a broken spear, why are we not talking about the skull on christophers?

(Sorry couldnt get better quality pics)

The truth is, I hate this theory as much as everyone, Im genuinly hoping chain of iron proves me wrong. But there are 5 deaths comming, and not all of them can be side characters. Cordelia Lucie and James all have main character protection. I already explained why Thomas dying is unlikely. Anna, Ariadne and Alastair have gay protection (and I think some asks about Alastair dying were pretty much answered with a discreet no)

If there are mains dying, Christophers the most likely to go

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vinatintasupernovita · 3 years

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I felt like making relationship charts for my Descendants ocs and Persephone is first!

Auradon:

- Ben: Best friends! They’ve known eachother since they were little kids and have been inseparable since- but they’re polar opposites. Ben is a good boy, and Persephone is always in trouble. Ben was her first friend in Auradon and helped encourage her to start acting more mature.

- Audrey: Childhood Frenemies. Audrey would tag along with her and Ben to try to get close to Ben and Persephone has to admit she has some respect for her. Post-D3 theyre more friends than frenemies. They used to go to eachother’s birthday parties

- Jane: Would Kill For Her. Jane reminds her of her brother Hadie’s friend Claudine Frollo and how timid she is and it activates a “protect” instinct in her.

- Chad: If she could get away with murdering him she would. Persephone fuckin hates him, always have. He tripped her once in the 3rd grade and she swore vengeance and it did Not help he got progressively worse with age. She thinks Ms. Cinderella is dope tho

- Lonnie: She and Lonnie have had arm wrestling matches for as long as they can remember. They’ve also been tied forever and both of them are determined to break it.

- Doug: She stole his pudding cup once and he cried but she made it up to him by giving him her pomegranate cookies. That’s the extent of it.

- Herkie: LEAST favorite cousin. Calls him Jerky Jr. At the last family reunion she pushed him into the lake. Keeps trying to convince his mom to divorce his dad out of spite

- Extended Family (Most of Olympus): Tries to keep up appearances for her mom- knows it doesn’t work

- Hecate: Oh it’s the aunt who she would run over if possible. Fuckin Fantastic. She better be feeding Cerberus enough.

- Demeter: Ah! Mommy Issues!

- Reina: Persephone cries whenever she thinks abt the fact she missed out on most of Reina’s early life and growing up together and Reina like comforts her like im here now it’s ok and they go and do sibling stuff like get ice cream or throw water balloons on unsuspecting passerby

The Isle:

- Mal: IT IS ON SIGHT. IT HAS BEEN ON SIGHT SINCE THEY WERE OLD ENOUGH TO SPEAK! Mal knew that they were sisters but thought Hades just chose Persephone and Hadie over her and Persephone Hadie and Hades didn’t and that miscommunication manifested into Persephone and Mal’s life long rivalry. Even after learning they’re sisters Persephone will not hesitate with her.

- Evie: Shes Always confused how someone who seems so sweet ended up Mal’s best friend. Only really ever met her once before Auradon bc the whole banishment shit happened

- Jay: Mild respect based solely on the fact Jafar and Hades are cordial. She does try to out-thieve him as a sign of dominance.

- Carlos: She rarely would go to Hell’s Hall bc Cruella De Vil is a crazy bitch but she heard her son’s ‘ok’ which.. fair enough. But he runs w Mal so that’s automatic negative points.

- Uma: She likes messing with her and calling Uma her baby cousin even though they’re only like third cousins cus it annoys her- but Persephone respects her and they tend to keep to their own sides of the isle

- Harry: “Oh look it’s the simp” Persephone knows she could kick his ass and the only thing stopping her is the fact he’s Uma’s first mate. Thinks his older sister Harriet is hot

- Gil: There is not a Thought behind those eyes and Persephone knows it just as well as anybody. He’s nice though.

- Celia: She used to babysit her and Freddie when their dads would have poker night. Thinks she’s a great errand girl now

- Heidi of Hearts (Queen of Hearts’ Daughter): Bimbo Solidarity, Heidi is the only one allowed to do her hair bc she does not trust Dizzy with scissors near her.

- The Gaston Twins: Threatened them with a broken bottle when they wouldn’t stop harassing her after school. Made Gaston Jr cry.

- Hadie: Baby brother!! She would do anything for him and that is not limited to burning the whole world down.

- Hades: She cares about her dad a lot and even though she recgonizes he’s definitely done some really bad things she thinks he’s capable of being better- maybe not Good, but better.

- Pain and Panic: They’ve been her nannies for thousands of years and they mean a lot to her

#WOW that’s long #i’ll make one for Hadie and Reina and maybe Heidi too soon #Reina is the hardest since she never grew up w these people she just got inserted into the drama #descendants ocs #fresa is talking about her ocs

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chaosang3l · 4 years

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more of me and @perfectharmony ‘s hcs for the danforth-evans/evans-mckessie families these are just random but the context for the first one is them adopting kayla *finger guns* and this time kj’s in bold😙✌️

i feel like sharpay would be like ‘taylor come on we would be the best parents’ and taylor would say ‘yeah i know but are we ready’ and then when they adopt kayla taylor is just like in love with being a parent and one night when kayla fell asleep in their bed she looks to sharpay and says ‘you were right’ and sharpay is just like ‘i know’ and in the most loving tone

ngl for some reason that thought never occurred to me about the ages not lining up lol but this makes sense! and now the thought of nick and kayla being both in the foster system before they got adopted won't leave my mind. like when did they first get into the system? like were both of them in it their entire lives or just one or did they both of them have families?? i'm very intrigued. also can you imagine ryan and chad and also sharpay and taylor being SO incredibly happy on adoption day. ALSO all of them would be pretty young when they adopt so i'm intrigued on how all of that went down. like did both couples get married young and wanted to adopt right away?? my is races with all the backstory of this family lol!

RIGHT LIKE TAYLOR WOULD BE SO HESITANT AT FIRST BECAUSE SHE DOESNT WANT TO BE A BAD PARENT AND THEN THEYRE THE BEST

also i LOVE that sharpay is the one that already knows that they'd be great parents and reassures taylor. my heart.

(this is my half assed timeline for them)

sharpay:

at 20 starts dating taylor

22 gets married(somewhere in between she books a job either acting or in a musical)

22 adopt kayla(idk the exact months don’t yell at me)

30 currently

kayla(i didn’t do taylor and chad i only did the twins lmao):

born 2004

16 currently

adopted 7-8 years old

ryan:

starts dating chad 19

22-23 graduates juilliard

gets married 24

adopts nick 25

30 now

nick:

born 2005

15 currently

adopted 10

i feel taylor is always so sure of herself and then when it comes to this she’s not and sharpay is so sure she would be an amazing mom so she has to reassure her

and i feel like chad has a big family so he was always talking about how he can’t wait to have kids or how good of a parent ryan will be and ryan will be like yes i know you’ve said it 80 times sweetheart and then when they finally have a house/apartment they talk about it one night and they’re like ‘we should start the process now’ and chad just LIGHTS UP and then four months(idk why) later they have little nick

and when sharpay first brings up kids taylor says let’s start with a cat or a dog first babe (not including boi) and then the next day taylor comes home and suddenly she sees sharpay trying to ease boi into liking the new member of their family

also idk why it never occurred to me b4 now but the thought of taylor becoming boi's second mom is everything to me lol

also i feel like the gang would have a FIELD day seeing her being all adorable with boi and she would just give them all a death glare

yeah they would all walk in to sharpays apartment and see taylor playing with boi and chad and troy would look at each other like ‘uh she hated my dogs’ kshjshdjxhxbxd

i feel like chad would go to ryan and be like 'did your sister brainwash sharpay into loving her hideous dog?" and ryan scoffs all like "please. taylor tried to refuse those literal puppy dog eyes but it only took her a second before that dog had her around its little finger. even worse than sharpay'

yeah taylor is soft for sharpay and boi

SHE IS

now i'm imaging kayla with boi

does kayla have her doggie??

of course kayla has boi and he’s like an old man dog now and he just chills with the cats

imagine kayla and nick and their parents just all in one of their living rooms and ryan, chad, taylor, and sharpay start talking about their high school days like how cute would that be🥺 and them all playing with the cats and boi omg

also kayla and nick seeing the gang after they learn all the tea from hsm like nick just being like “hello the person who my dad dated to cover his sexuality oh i meant aunt kelsi”

and kayla saying “hi gabriella *cough cough* aka the person who stole moms spot in the play” and taylor being like “kayla” through her teeth aksnsknxnxbb

the idea of nick and tori learning all the stories from hsm is amazing enough BUT THEN bringng it up to the gang in the most hilarious ways is SENDING ME

also tori saying that to gabriella aka taylor best friend IS SENDING ME

yeah she said “love you mom but i’m on moms side y’all may have thought she was the villain but mom had a point”

also troy calling nick and saying that he can't make it to his lacrosse game (he tries to go as much as he can bc he's a supportive uncle) bc of work and nick's all like "i get it. Your head's in the game but hearts in the song." And Troy grumbles like "I'm gonna kill Chad"

YES SUPPORTIVE UNCLE TROY

kayla and nick are the sassiest cousin duo around

YES THEY ARE

i just love them so much and imagining them interact with the hsm gang

yeah faith really popped off with that hc

SHE DID

heres the other two: pt.1 pt.2

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #kayla evans-mckessie #nick danforth-evans #and i just realized this is a lot shorter than the last ones sorry we just didn’t have many thoughts apparently

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jungxk · 3 years

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// rant

i'm jus so heartbroken rn i've been crying for the past hour i jus need to put my feelings out there, i hope it's ok w you.

my mum wakes up today and jus starts berating me bc i didnt put washed dishes into the cabinets & the kitchen looked messy for her. i'm supposed to do it bc there's nothing else i actually do but yesterday i had woken up in the evening nd they called me to pray straight away so i totally forgot about it (coupled w the fact that i dont like doing it either cuz there's always sm dishes nd it's such a hassle). she jus started scolding me senseless nd im someone who doesnt get mad easily, even if i do i tend to stay quiet bc i dont like conflict & angry emotions are ugly. but i couldnt stop it today? she kept calling me selfish nd she's been calling me that the past few days as well bc i never help out w chores or anything. she's always asking me "what do u do for this family" or "what do u do in this house" every single time nd ofc i cant say shit bc i dont. i'm doing uni online nd it's really not that easy but bc i dont talk to my family like at all, they think i'm all good. the other day i pissed them off nd my parents straight up said "why do we need to pay for ur uni ure not doing anything anyway" & i jus... i didnt even know if i even deserve to feel sad over it. they were asking me what i wanna do after uni as if im not just in my first year & when i said im not sure they got so mad and my mum purposely said "just marry her off" to push my buttons into giving them an answer. they keep saying i'm pushing them into being the worst and saying the worst to me but how is that fair? they're parents? adults? i'm jus 20 & i can control my emotions? but today really jus pushed me she got so mad at me for the littlest things nd i jus exploded. I asked her why she's mad and she's like cuz of the kitchen bla bla bla nd it got so frustrating i told her it's not my problem nd i jus wont ever eat again since all the unwashed dishes piling is my fault. nd then she got mad at me for that and scolded me. I hate being touched but mostly i hate being hit. imagine getting hit at 20 years old bc my mother is too emotionally unstable that she cant take a few seconds by herself to calm her anger down. I hate it. nd bc i said it's not my problem she came nd told me "yea it won't be ur problem when i die too! i'll make sure when i do, u never come see me." jus... what kind of parent says that? i'm so careful w what i say & i slip sometimes bc i'm human but how can a mother say that? she doesnt know anything about me. she doesn't know i dont like being hit, she doesnt know i dont like it when ppl act impulsively on emotions. sometimes i feel like i really am the problem nd that i'm really selfish. spending shit ton of money to get me to study, maybe i am selfish. i dont mind it. i know myself well enough to hate things about myself. but to have parents who barely know me as a person rather than a daughter, getting this much mad at me for smthn so simple jus makes me so sad. bc i was doing the task when she asked. she does things like this then wonders why i cant ever talk to her. entire family thinks i'm immature bc i behave exactly how they treat me. 20 years. I never ask for much. but it's starting to feel like asking to study in the uk was my greatest downfall. it feels like i dont deserve this. every day i'm itching to get away, to live alone bc they've made me feel like i can never work well in groups. it's always somehow my fault as if they havent been invalidating me nd my feelings since birth.

nd i can never tell them all these bc i'm never confident in them. i'm never confident in whether i would be accepted nd comforted without ridicule or scolding. my brother & father tell me it's like that, that jus bc i may get a scolding shouldn't stop me from being open. but what kind of stupidity is that? my mother who makes me feel like the world is ending when i accidentally break smthn, that it wasn't an accident but rather it's me nd that i jus cant do a good job— where is the comfort i can ever find coming to her w a problem?

nd bc of that we're not close. bc of that she's closer to my cousins & everyone else really. they've never concerned themselves to talking about family issues w me but when i dont know, they shame me, saying i never bother to ask— how would i know when to ask? should they be telling me when there's smthn going on?

this makes the concept of family so repelling for me. there is inherently no reason to ever have a child that isnt selfish or self fulfilling. what they do as parents is to make them feel as important nd respected as they expect from the child. but it's never like that w south asians. emotions dont exist if ure the child nd apparently getting mad is a norm nd shouldn't stop u from being emotional w someone.

at times i tell myself that i should pay back every penny my parents spent on me. bc sometimes it feels like it's being used to make me act or feel a certain way. i dont wanna feel this way. theyre my parents, i know theyre good people. but i'm so hurt by the things going on nd the things from the past. my mother invalidates me sm. she more or less kinda blamed me for feeling useless and depressed last year. my brother was telling her to go easy on me nd she got so mad & frustrated bc she didnt know what she was doing wrong. "if she feels so useless why doesnt she do anything about it?" like that was such a golden chance for her to have comforted me nd i couldve opened up? but she ruined it nd hurt me again.

last year i lived w her alone nd my dad was in our home country. I was having some troubles w him gone but i dont call or text bc... it always felt like a drag. it never felt like a conversation nd the only time it did was when i complained to him about my mum. so much shit happened between my mum and i & this person advised me to jus write some of my feelings to her. so i wrote her a long letter nd i included saying how not having my dad was hard on me too. flash forward im in my home country & w my dad. i know nobody here bc i didnt grow up here. i'm doing online uni & basically have to stay indoors cuz of covid. she brings that letter up when she was to berate me nd it jus feels so uncomfortable for me? like ok my actions dont line up but i wrote that cuz i was looking for comfort nd understanding. if i knew it was going to be held against me, i would not have done it? "u said it was so hard for u without him, so what do u even do for him here now?"— what can i do? i'm just 20 nd the situation im in is not normal? i'm grateful to be w my dad again but what can i do? &it always freaking comes down to house chores. i try my best. when our maid doesnt come i do my best w my tasks. i know it's not enough but i jus... i dont even know. ig that part of me is selfish nd lazy.

it's so suffocating here. all my feelings are bottled up nd im so scared what that would do to me in the future. but at least i know i'm too selfish to ever spend the rest of my life w someone.

sorry for the long rant. i hope this didnt ruin ur mood or anything i jus need an outlet nd ur blog jus feels so comforting nd welcoming. thank u for listening to me nd my feelings. God bless u really kssjdjsj

i’m rlly sorry this is happening to you bby. idk what race u are but this sounds so much like that asian mentality where emotions are black and white and comfort in any way is out of the question. ur still rlly young tho so ur relationship with ur parents has room to improve i promise. i think it’s rlly important for u to move out whenever u can tho bc that’s what rlly improves the relationship. having said this i do think the way your mum talks to u/treats u is emotionally and mentally abusive so whether you want to uphold that tie with her in the future is ur choice i just rlly hope u get somewhere safe and away from ur family soon x

#answered

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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years

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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 2, 2019 // making the call

saved the last 2 minutes of this ep for tomorrow to keep on track so heres this

-i just realized laura never asked about the drive before she left last ep. wonder if she'll come back in s3 after tiffanys info finally comes into play

-"do you want to tell me why you think he'd be going after ryan?" wonder if carson thinks is joshua suspected the truth or found out about lucy having a baby and now hes all panicked

-"girl what is on your head??" 😂

-"it might help my dad's case" soooo i love how she said this. like. shes framing it so she can relate what she has to do to others. like she has to justify or give some reason for inviting someone else. she could have just said "im going if u want to come" but instead has to draw focus to her problem first, which is the only reason shes extending an invitation, if it relates to her own problems

-i wonder what lucy dying in the water has influenced her in telling nancy to call the agleaca. wonder if the agleaca found her and helped channel her spirit to apparition form. maybe she saw how lucy died "for love" wonder if the agleaca thought she was a fool or not for it. wonder if lucy would be strong enough to fight something like the agleaca, judging by simon probably not. it would have been cool to see a showdown between them or to watch lucy try to protect nancy from the beyond 😌 maybe the agleaca trying to take owen was her trying to give a warning? she was actually trying to "help" a la lucy/george's prediction was correct. sadly, we'll never know

-LOVE bess sitting criss cross on the bartop 😂and love the bess/owen cousins' call 🙏🏻💙

-this convo nancy has w owen at the police station reminds me of the kidnapping ep. when nick tries to help nancy she shoots him down. he tries to reason w her but unsuccessfully. what exactly is owen doing/saying differently? or is this just a reflection of how much nancy actually likes him? im just interested in the contrast. nick and owen both have calm, logical approaches. theyre both honest about wanting to be there for her. maybe the subject matter? in response to gombers warehouse nick was talking about facing old fears, which nancy definitely did do. but since nancy is primordially uninterested in discussing feelings, that was a no go. i think nancy even telling owen she was tracking a biotech ceo was a hugeconcession for her. or was it just because nick was inaccessable sexually but owen had potential? ¿ questions.

-LOVE owen side-eyeing nancy at this hilarity if a convo (and fucking Chad?? lmaoooo he is sostupid enough to fall for this probe)

-"i have to admit, that was kind of fun" / "i cant remember the last time i had this much fun" / "almost as fun as a real fight"

-"i got a D in french" well george if u retake it now you'll get a P instead 🤪

-"theres one more thing" so am i stupid or?? whats the second thing nick and ace have to tell her at the police station? that karen signed the form? bc nancy already figured that out so im confused.

-so karen in the security video is wearing the sweet purple pantsuit from the garden party ep which i checked the dates and yeah its about a month ago from today

-"i know the system favors the privileged" just imagine karen working her way up to detective as a young woman haunted by pain. and then her meeting the drews and nancy and having her remind karen of lucy, her cleverness, her spirit, but not knowing why. it just sucks bc in a male dominated field karen was trying to get justice and do good and then this happens

-"you tore two families apart" nancy's and tiffany's but this quote also applies to lucy's death tearing apart lucy's family (with her mom and josh) and ryan's (d/t not knowing nancy is his)

-UNPOPULAR OPINION: karen/josh - hatefuck- reuniting somehow (how did they reconnect? who called who?) when he gets back in town, come up with a plan, start an affair d/t their shared pain over lucy? then she fucks around with carson? why go there?

-"i loved your mom like a sister" / "i'm just glad my mom's not around to see who you've become" x2 now that we know the truth all these statements from karen especially just get heavier. like what bad luck to bond with two strong women who have to leave you like this (karen is a unique foil to nancy where they both have a connection to kate and lucy each)

-when ace says "i know nancy" thom just has this look on his face like "....oh youre in deep. sigh"

-hannah's disappearances "maybe she has nancys work ethic" in s2 she was shown out and about doing stuff and we know her burns were supernaturally caused but i wonder if hannah herself dabbles in anything else thet keeps her busy 🤔

-"300 pages about men and women get 2 pages in the back" 🙃preach

-i hate how in s2 they all forget this convo of nance literally saying "i cant ask you guys to do this" when they all blame her for every ill that ever happened ever

-THIS BITCH JUST PUTS HER BARE ASS HANDS ON HIS FUCKING OPEN WOUNDS???

-and it's snowing? in october? but only where they are by this part of the ocean?

-wait how does owen know bess sleeps in a van and does nothing about that?

-kissy faces😘😘see owen willing to meet nancy where shes at is soooo important. like him having his secret apartment in the city 👌🏻even tho she rejects him taking her out like he always wants he doesnt mind that he cant. hes not like nick- he doesnt mind being kept quiet (until bess's accidental reveal) his acceptance of her boundary there actually keeps him closer to her

and lastly

-george liking nick is so cute

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

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zackmartin · 3 years

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like. okay i dont know how 3 year olds work and also i dont know how old izzy was when z&h adopted her BUT! them taking out izzy/felix in dinosaur onesies when theyre young bc zack thinks dinosaurs are rad and hen thinks zack is rad

skxksks okay I'm in overexplain mode so my answer will probably be paragraphs long and I formally apologize for that but okay

There are so many parts of this ask I wanna focus on. First of all, it took me a hot minute to even respond cause I kept reading "hen thinks Zack is rad" and I had to put my phone down and keep myself from crying and right now. I am choked up 🥺🥺🥺 like, okay. Obviously when I picture this stuff, Hen & Zack are married so like, they're in the same place feelings wise, I wouldn't have them married with literal children if they weren't, but I think I often get stuck in DoD mode where I'm thinking about where that story is right now, with Zack having a crush on Henry but Henry still isnt a fan of Zack, so I have a tendency to look at things from Zack's side, with Zack being smitten with Hen, and Zack being the one to admit he misses him when their work schedules keep them from having any time together outside of when they're supposed to be sleeping, and Zack compromising because he wants Hen to be happy, so. I read that and I was reminded that Hen is also smitten with Zack and I had to be in my feelings about for a while jcjdjvkdjc

Yeah, I don't know how toddlers work either jdjfkd or children really. I had a lot of baby cousins growing up, but I haven't been around them regularly since I moved at 13 so there's been a better part of a decade where I haven't interacted with anyone under 13, so if I write this one-shot series it'll probably be inaccurate JAXJSK

But anyway! I am. Soft™️ because you're right, that would happen 🥺🥺💕💕 it DID happen. It's canon in my au now. Also! Felix idolizes Izzy. She doesn't know it, but he does, so he finds a picture of them in their matching onesies one day and he keeps it and cherishes it.

Okay, adoption backstory time kskxkd I don't know how adoptions work either. I got no clue. But Swellview is so odd with their laws anyway that I kinda just made up my own rules sjfjdj so, Izzy was kinda like in the Friends series, when Monica and Chandler adopt, where Izzy's birth mom picks them to adopt her, so they pretty much have her when she's born. Felix, on the other hand. Okay, this is sad and morbid and I'm sorry but. Felix was an orphan, and at that time, Henry and Zack had had many discussions about adopting another kid but they were still sort of on the fence about it, but they get a call from the adoption agency they used before, about a new kid that was brought in that was having a hard time finding the right "fit" when it came to a permanent home so they were like "will you just come meet him?" (Again, making up my own rules here JSJD) so they say yes and.....

One thing I need to mention about Felix is that he's an introvert. He's pretty quiet and timid and it takes him a while to warm up to new people, and he only really warms up to a select few, but if you're lucky enough to be in that select few, he just. Almost becomes a whole new person and he'll talk your ear off about things he's interested in. So, it took him a while to form a bond with Izzy and Zack because they're both the opposite of that, they're extroverts and they have big personalities and they're rambunctious so it was really off-putting for Felix. But, Henry! Henry kinda recognized from the moment they met that Felix was shy and obviously traumatized from his experience of losing his parents so he just kind of. Became this calm, peaceful presence that Felix really needed and he let Felix have control by letting Felix decide when he wanted to interact with Henry, and he let Felix come to him pretty much so they really formed a bond pretty quickly and that was pretty much it. Henry wasn't on the fence any more, that was his child and he was going to adopt him whether Zack agreed or not (but like. Zack did, obviously. That was a very "yes, dear" moment in their marriage JSJCJS)

Anyway, sorry I know you were just giving me a cute headcanon and I went off om a whole other subject but kskdsk

#asks #lizzie tag 🐸#izzy hart martin #felix hart martin #i am. SOFT #thank you for this lizzie 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕#i'm not explaining Felix's story well but sjkdd

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dustyhyena · 4 years

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“i love them sm and will talk about them forever if enabled” this is me enabling u to talk about your agents 👁👁

AHHHH no duuude youre gonna open pandora’s box bro!!!!!!

OK NO BUT FR... thank u for enabling me im about to infodump

i dont know exactly what to say abt them but i will drop some random facts about them!

august (agent 3, she/they)-

- tries really hard to be the edgy loner type but is one of the biggest nerds out there. she’s still reserved but will geek out about old video games

- on top of that she’s really good at math somehow? was an honors student and juggling agent duties on top of that was nightmarish so she had to take a break. it led to some issues...

- theyre a firefly squid! the spots on their tentacles glow brighter than most inklings and also glow depending on the intensity of their mood

- they make music sometimes and has tried to keep it a secret from everyone but unfortunately for them, riptide is a nosy little shit and found out

- speaking of riptide, she and august met earlier on and riptide didnt know that august was a secret agent until after the events of kamabo!

- her default ink color used to be more of a blood-orange to fit her name

- she ventures back down to kamabo a lot to find a bunch of lost trinkets. she’s a little interested in archeology. (by archeology i mean a bunch of ancient human relics like old recovered music and technology)

- her favorite game is earthbound im not projecting im not projec

- between her and riptide she’s supposed to be the sensible one but she’s literally dumbass #2

riptide (agent 4, she/her)-

- doubles as my inksona (which im debating on changing, but i project onto her the most)! shes dumbass and im dumbass

- has a little brother named calder who she teaches how to skate. insists that he call her “cousin/instructor throckmorton” during their lessons

- she’s the kind of squid that needs people but is also afraid of people at the same time? if that makes sense.

- she’s actually pretty self concious about herself and her skills but tries not to think abt it too much

- her favorite color used to be orange! her tentacles were orange and a lot longer when she was a kid

- SHE LOVES FROGS. frogs are her favorite animal and holding one brings her instant serotonin. (when august found out about this she immedaitely showed her mother 3 and riptide lost her MIND)

- she has a pet nudibranch who she and her brother named “nacho” from a young age (i like to think in this universe, nudibranches/sea slugs function the same as dogs) and this is what nacho looks like

jay (agent 8, she/her)

- her personality is kind of a work in progress bc theres a lot i want her to be but shes usually the soft-spoken type (unless something gets her excited)

- SHE LOVES BIRDS. birds are how she chose her name! she just enjoys all the different calls and colors they all have, and how they were able to survive the rising sea levels.

- she’s a mix between the pacific reef octopus and the mimic octopus! she uses her pacific reef abilities to sometimes camoflauge with her surroundings when she feels really threatened. she has the lines on her tentacles a mimic octopus does but its mostly just for show. the most she can do is create a faux inkling mask (like the line that inklings have on the bridge of their noses)

- and by that extension SHE LOVES ANIMALS. jay’s usually the sensible and level-headed type, but that flies out of the window whenever she sees a cute sea bunny or bird.

- if you give her some sort of task, jay’s the kind of octoling who won’t stop until she’s sure it’s completed. she’ll overwork herself if given the chance

- i love the idea of her actually getting really into warrior cats and august (who used to be really into it when they were a little kid) is trying everything in their power not to look like a nerd in front of their crush so jay’s like “hey have you heard about this book?” and august is just like “whos bramblestar haha that’s a dumb name for a leader” completely unprompted

shep (agent 8... 2! (also jokingly called agent 9), he/him)

- he’s the oldest of the agents and is somehow the most AND least responsible

- he’s a dumbo octoling! his ears are just a little floppier and are more sensitive to sound.

- i havent shown him here yet, which is a crime, but he’s the most charismatic and outgoing of all three of the agents. sort of the older brother friend-type. he’s very busy though so he’s usually around like 60% of the time. he’s on a team!

- he can be a little overbearing at times but he’ll back off when you tell him to!

- absolutely curious about EVERYTHING

- he got his left arm fucked up from a sanitization incident down in kamabo. it didn’t affect him too bad but it made it so he couldn’t participate in any of the tests since the sanitized ink would mix with his own. he had to rely on jay down there and it led to a lot of conflict.

- but the second he was able to (and when the sanitized ink was no longer in his system), he went ALL OUT on turf and ranked. he managed to save up enough money so he and jay could get their own place as sort of a way to pay her back for getting everyone out of kamabo by herself essentially

- he works part time in a music store and from that he realized my fucking god he loves music. and parties! if you ask him to throw a party, he Will.

in conclusion:

#dusty.txt #OH MY GOD HOW DID IT GET THIS LONG IM SO SORRY FUCK AJHHFIWUTWHBJFJ #splatoon #august #jay #riptide #shep #(since i technically talked abt him)#I HAVE REF SHEETS FOR THEM I SHOULD POST THEM AHHHHHH #melon-official

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midasgutz · 3 years

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elfen lied manga was such a fuckin trip. did i dream that shit up ? who allowed the dude who made that to just write all that shit??

i need to talk about elfen lied because this shit has been living rent free in my head for over an actual decade. significantly longer than a decade.

im glad that i can now accept that media i consume doesnt necessarily say anything about me, because. jesus, every inch of elfen lied is a war crime. every panel.

the coolest character who was generic tough military dude, who right when you meet him makes a point of punching a secretary just for standing behind him. and then goes out to find and kill a 17 year old with abandonment issues. and gets his shit kicked in and his arm ripped off and his eyes plucked out. and so, naturally, he trades his testicles for some dope robot eyes. for the sake of all humanity. oh and a really mediocre robot arm that he can actually break if he puts too much force into like anything. and so naturally he then finds a 14 year old homeless girl, who helped him while he was bleeding out on the beach. and of course he beats her up and, possibly kicks her dog. and then he gives her his number. uh, so he can come help her if anyone tries to... beat her up? because he cant owe her anything. and then she says something he doesnt like so he beats her up again and she shows him the paper he wrote his number on and says "someone scary is screwing with me". he storms off after that but doesnt take the paper, he still owes her. he makes good on it too, she gets in some bad trouble with a bad bad dude later. a bad bad dude with a trenchcoat whos basically just a vampire hunter, crossbow included but actually he's here to hunt teenage girls with horns, not fangs. the crossbow shoots hard metal balls with velcro spikes that have a toxin on them that causes excrutiating pain. this guys a bad bad dude, and he miiiiiight be suggesting he's gonna rape this 14 year old girl but it could be the unfairthful translation causing confusion. probably not tho the author of this series is majorly fucked in the head. anyway robocop shows up and he puts his boot right down this dudes throat so thats like whatever. that panel was my desktop wallpaper for like 6 years. we find out that 17 year old girl is evil because some kids killed her dog with a vase. so she blew them up, and after that she goes around blowing people up just to eat the food in their fridge and hang around the crib for a minute. so shes framed as the good guy and robocop is evil this time and they fight again and she does kill robocop this time which sucks because theres a good portion of manga left and no one else is as interesting as he is. he dies on the beach where he lost his eyes and his arm and lets be honest he basically lost his balls at the same time.

oh. and theres a girl who does peepee in her diaper a lot. and she can sing. i dont know why she was there but i mean every other fetish the author had already made a fucking appearance so why not lmao

theres also like. some main characters. theyre complete shit. these include a normal boy. his cousin who is the most annoying character in the fucking world. she is literally just "im only here to pad the amount of love interests our generic main character can have all at once" the character. yeah man, his cousin? cause shit why not. why not, its japan, do as the romans do. also theres the alternate personality of the 17 year old. shes only here so that evil 17 year old girl can be a love interest not once but twice, and i mean, conveniently shes often naked. makes sense, when the only word you can say is "milk".

and then there's Nana. Nana is a quad amputee after evil 17 year old girl ripped all her limbs off and almost finished her off. but dont worry! her dad, whos not her dad at all, finds her and he gives her some prosthetics that she can control with her super powers. what do you mean you werent aware of the super powers? of course they have super powers. its manga. after he does this he just lets her loose with a bunch of money and his tie because she asked very politely for the dangly thing he wears on his neck. she wears it like a headband, even though she established she knew it went around his neck. so yeah he gave her money but she was raised in a lab like a rat so she has no clue what its for. she meets the 14 year old homeless girl and they have a fun time being homeless together. Nana burns the money in a fire to keep warm but only some of it because the 14 year old girl tells her that you can trade money for food, which makes nana very happy because boy did she want some of the 99 cent street vendor food earlier. no one acknowledges that nana has enough money to buy her own house and be well off for easily 5 years. 14 year old girl takes her to the main character house that shes been staying at for a while and they have a bath. nana hated this idea until she realized that bath doesnt mean bucket of cold water at her new sort of house. but uh oh, nana senses evil 17 year old and shes kinda pissed about her arms and legs. they almost do a fight but wait whats this? 17 year old isnt fighting back, she just keeps saying "milk" and smiling. nana takes some issue with this and promptly leaves after pushing her through a rice paper door. shortly after everyone goes looking for nana.

um some stuff happens and then whaaaattt??? nanas not dads real daughter is introduced. shes locked in a circular room lined with lead and chloride of lime. with a diameter of 15 meters, the length of her invisible hands. shes only ever had the voice of a single woman to comfort her, shes permanently lockdd in bondage gear unable to move. she has to use a wheelchair to move because her legs have completely atrophied. she moves it with her invisible hands, her real ones are useless. she calls the only voice she knows her mother. her mothers job has been to talk to and comfort this dangerous girl for years. said mother mentions her excitement to finally see the girl in person, and also casually drops how theyve sewn bombs into several parts of her body. conveniently, if shes in intense pain her powers dont work. so she meets her mom, takes one look at her and says "youre not my mom >:(" and sends her entire upper torso flying. conveniently said torso lands near the bomb controls. she slams that shit like shes a rat with an orgasm button and babygirls arm go bye bye. they inform her while she writhes in pain that she has to comply with their demands or they can blow her whole deal up next time. shes pretty ok with being blown up, but then they tell her they want her to kill something so her ears perk up like a cat hearing a can opener. yep shes going to go kill evil 17 year old. nanas not dad is not taking any of this well but he essentially gets mindbroken after he has to blow up his daughter later after shit flies off the handle. he spends his time as a homeless man, denoted by the sudden appeaeance of a large beard, living in a shack on the beach where robocop died. he does note the beach is incredibly clean and that is because robocop picked up allllllll the trash so that evil 17 year old couldnt throw it at him. he did totally eat shit anyway though no worries. im not bitter about it why should you be? im not.

anyway shit happens and 17 year old melts into a really graphic puddle of fleshy goo, and in doing so totally does the jesus thing. because at some point she realized she really just wanted to be with main character, but all of the things shes done makes that impossible.

i was like maybe 12 when i read this shit. i didnt reread it for this. im pretty sure most of this is accurate but i CAN and WILL promise you one thing. diaper girl is real, and he REALLY really really really 100% did trade his balls for robot eyes, and a playdough robot arm.

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prenupsremade · 4 years

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VENT POST !!! TW for abuse and drug mentions and family and ventign oh my god im so sorry But i guess more info into my situation

for years i’ve invalidated the abuse i’ve gone through bc i’ve always told myself they love me and theyre hurting too but i’ve realized now that even if they do love me and are hurting too, that doesn’t mean they’re not abusing me and hurting me. i need to get away from them. they’ve always blamed the problems we face with my siblings on me, because i set a bad example by being depressed and dropping out of school, and initially it wasn’t like this.

when i chose to live with my grandparents, it was after being taken away from my neglectful mother who was (and still is) an addict. my grandmother could no longer work after dealing with cancer for several years, but she was in remission (and still is) and my grandfather had a stable job. i was with them often and was comfortable with them, so i decided to move in with them (my brother accompanying me). i was 12 years old, my brother 4, and the adoption process lasted until i was 15 and my brother was 7. in that time, my great grandmother, whom my grandmother was very close to, passed away, and my brother and i were prevented from seeing our mother for years after she became homeless after the incident.

several months after the adoption process, due to extreme bullying from other students and even Teachers, i dropped out of school, and right after my 16th birthday, my aunt took her life, leaving behind three children, all under the age of ten. her husband was a drug addict as well and was very u nstable, having tried to take his own life many times within the whole time i’ve known him, and the children were taken away. they were also adopted by our grandparents

my grandmother fell into a very intense depression after losing my aunt, who she felt was like the only child she had who wasn’t a mess. she stopped getting out of bed almost completely, leaving my grandfather to take care of all of us. within this time, i began to realize my grandfather was extremely controlling and emotionally manipulative, and often would pit my brother and i against our cousins. my brother began being neglected for our three cousins, two of whom were the same age as my brother, the other being a baby. i didn’t notice the neglect at the time, as i was often giving into my grandfathers tormenting

as i turned 17, my cousins adoption process was finalized, and things didn’t change much, later in the year my grandfather losing his job and having to drive an hour of town almost everyday to visit his mother with dementia, who he refuses to put in a nursing home. my grandma is still in bed all the time. my mother was let back into the picture and although she now lived across the country, she’d visit during the summer, but in the summer of 2018, when i was 18, she came down and relapsed on drugs and had a psychotic break, and now refuses to leave. she’s been here since, staying with her friend but visiting all the time unexpectedly.

my mother is now extremely violent and aggressive with me, verbally, physically and emotionally abusing nonstop, and my grandmother’s depression has gotten so bad that she wails daily from her bed about how she doesn’t want to live. she’s self harmed and when my grandfather asked her why, she looked at me (who previously self harmed when i was younger) and she said she wanted to know why i do it all the time.

my brother has become extremely reclusive as well, and our cousins have begun to see the treatment we’ve been enduring and our grandfather knows this, so when he buys food for our cousins but not me and my brother and we’re vocally upset, he says “look, you’re making your cousins want to die”

this is Every Day . Every day he does this. and every day my grandma lays in her bed and sleeps, and if my siblings or i try to speak to her about.. almost anything, she guilt trips us, saying she knows she’s a failure of a mother and that she should’ve never had kids, and that its my fault im being treated like this by her bc i chose to live with her instead of someone else back when i was being adopted (my grandfather very vocally carries a similar idea- saying if its so bad here, then we (including the kids) should just go move in with our unmarried great uncle, who doesnt have the space or money or time to take care of 4 kids and help me get on my feet at the same time.and not to mention my mother is now back in the picture and constantly harassing me and abusing me, then gaslighting me, and telling me i’m abusing her.

all three of the older kids (my brother and our two cousins) have dropped out of school, similar to me, and they don’t feel safe enough to tell us what the problem or with zoom calls is. and even when we’ve done homeschooling programs, our grandparents don’t monitor them - and so none of the kids do any school work.

im 20 now, turning 21 in january and tbh i feel like a monster, i feel like i deserve this because this is all i know, but then i go to a close friends house and see how fucking Normal things are and i’m so destroyed, i’m so sick of this, i’m so sick of living like this and i don’t know what to do. i don’t want anyone in my family to go through with losing anyone again bc all of my siblings and i are attached to each other, my grandmother can’t handle losing another person, i just need to have a place where i’m safe and my mother and grandparents don’t know where it is and the kids can come over and be safe and eat and fuck fuck fuck i’m so sick of this. i wish i was stronger and smarter and better and i wish i knew what i was doing so that i could DO IT

#d/ont r/b pls

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