#listen it goes well with faith in the future

[lhrry]

@ louis i am once again begging you to use george michael’s faith as a post-show song

#listen it goes well with faith in the future #you can do that #or you know what just play another george i’m not picky #but pls give me that

[astermath]

nemesis; part two.

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

summary: with carmen reworking the restaurant, you’d think his mind would be far too occupied to even think about anything else. yet he can’t shake the guilt from what he’d put you through a month prior. after some talks in therapy, he decides to take a leap of faith and see if he can talk it out with you. he not only wants to convince you that he can be better, but he's got an offer for you too. one you truly can't refuse.

♡ landing page ♡

word count: 4.9K

tags: carmen being unsure about his feelings but trying to be better episode 3265742, letting reader in a little more, APOLOGIES!!!, cursing ig, carm goes to therapy yippee, syd being the absolute realest, regular font below!

notes: sorry this took literally forever omg, I lost my carmen muse for a bit but we are SO back baby. I missed him so much and so sorry if some things don't follow the canon completely (I've been watching season 2 on and off bc I've been so busy lol BUT my fics never follow the canon completely anyways),, hope u guys enjoy and let me know if you'd like a part three ;))

lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list for further carmen berzatto related content! comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

Carmen’s life hadn’t known a moment of mental rest in ages. If you asked him when he last sat down with his thoughts or acknowledged his mental anguish, he probably would have said he couldn’t remember the last time. If ever.

With plans to completely revamp The Beef and everything that came with it, now his feelings should be the last thing on his mind. Renovation plans, unforeseen costs and a completely new menu, sure, he could worry his ass off about those, but feelings? Absolutely not. Good thing he was usually so good at suppressing those anyways.

So why was it that he couldn’t shake the thought of what he did to you?

Why, every time he had a moment to himself, would he be overtaken by this intense feeling of guilt? He didn’t even have to be alone, just a second of quiet and the image of you crying in distress would intrude on his thoughts.

It was getting to a point where he’d told his sister, Natalie, about it. Well, not all of it, he wasn’t even sure if he knew all of it. Just that he knows he hurt you, and that coming to terms with what he projected onto you might be a good first step in understanding himself better.

Or maybe it was something more along the lines of “I gotta talk my shit to some people”. Probably that.

To his surprise, it was actually helping. Besides the group therapy sessions where he’d talk about Mikey, the business and his future, he was talking to other people in his life too. Even told Sydney about you, kind of on accident. The words just seemed to… Flow out. It was probably the exhaustion doing its thing.

“I guess I just felt like,” he kept his eyes on the floor he was sweeping, “she was doing it all to fuck with me. I don’t even know where I got the sick idea that she had some obsession over me, but it— it drove me at the same time. It’s like her being on my heels at every aspect of culinary school just made me want to try even harder.”

“Maybe you painted her in that light because you knew it was a good way to keep pushing yourself.” Sydney spoke almost absentmindedly, sweeping the other side of the room. She listened to everything he said in the meantime, and though what he was telling her was a bit worrying, she was glad they got to have talks like this. Carmen often doesn’t like to bring up his past like that.

“Huh,” he paused sweeping for a moment, “yeah… yeah, maybe. Or maybe it was something else.”

Sydney wasn’t even sure he knew what he was referring to. It sounded like something entirely different, like a crush, but what kind of person treats their crushes like that?

Probably an overworked, pressured, overachieving culinary student with a dangerous need for validation. But she wasn’t about to tell him that.

“So yeah, I visited her restaurant, and… It just felt the exact same as back in New York, you know? Like she was rubbing it in my face again, and— and I know that sounds insane, or conceited, but I just can’t let it go. It’s like the thought of her is stuck to my brain like a stubborn piece of gum.” He wanted to smack himself for that stupid analogy, but what was said was said.

“So how’d you handle it?” Sydney’s head perked up, some of her braids now draping over her shoulders.

“Handle what?” Carmen became more and more uneasy the more he talked about you. Like his chest was tight, it was uncomfortable, but not in the way he was when the health inspection came by, it was different. Weirder. Unfamiliar. He didn’t like it, because he didn’t understand it.

“The talk with her.” She emptied the last bit of dust into the trash bag.

“Oh,” his mind took him back to the parking lot a month ago. The way he could almost taste the tears of your skin from how close he stood, he could hear the shakiness of your breath and the profound desperation in your voice when you apologized to him, when you really had no reason to.

If it was still so clear in his mind, then what must it be like for you?

“Carmen?” Sydney snapped him out of his oncoming train of thought.

“Yeah? Sorry, I— Uh, I don’t know it was…” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly finding it in his best interest to look anywhere else but her face. “Bad. It was— It was bad.” He looks a bit shameful when he meets her eyes. “I fucked up. I like, went all New York boss on her. And then I just… Left.”

His colleague just stares at him for a moment. She knew what he was like when he snapped like that, but that was with his staff, people he liked. So how badly did he snap on you, a person he’d been resenting for years?

“I’m gonna go take out this trash, and uh… Head home.” She lifts the grey plastic bag she was holding. “But uh, Carm?”

“Yeah?”

“You got issues, man.” She has a bit of an awkward smile on her face, but he knows she means it. He knows she’s right. She usually is.

He nods, silently, letting her words sink in. He did have issues, everyone knew that, but most people didn’t just say it. That’s why he liked Sydney, she was so real, so honest. She was so good for the business, for the kitchen. And maybe her saying that to him was all part of grounding him in the reality of it all. Of his issues, just that they existed.

“Heard.” he says. His voice comes out raspier than he expected, like he’s struggling to say it.

“Goodnight, chef.”

“Night.”

He’d thought about what Sydney said the entire night. He does have issues, he knows that, he’s just mad at himself for letting everything get this far before seeking help. It scares him. Because it reminds him too much of Mikey. Or what he heard about him when things got bad.

He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes his brother did. Lock people out of his life just because it seems easier, because it’s better to minimize the damage than to figure out why you’re doing damage at all. And yes it’s uncomfortable, yes it’s scary, terrifying even. But he keeps being reminded of how it must feel for you.

It’s something he’d never considered before. He always thought he had you all figured out, all fake smiles and backhanded compliments to distract him. It never occurred to him to just… Ask. It was always just easier to assume. It fit his view of you and it kept him going, even if it was at the expense of ever getting to know you at all.

He’s hoping he can change that with a few text messages and a long, probably uncomfortable, talk over coffee. Just hoping, trying, that’s really all he can do. He’s well aware of how bad he is at communicating, but he has to give it a shot. For you, at least.

He stares at his phone screen for far longer than is necessary, continuously rereading the messages he’d typed. His eyes keep flicking to your contact, making sure he sent it to the right person. The only thing you two had texted about before was a time and place for him to try your new restaurant. His heart aches at the exclamation points and emojis you’d sent; you were so excited, and he drove all that excitement straight into the ground.

He closes his eyes and shuts off the phone. His chest hurts, like he’s been holding his breath the entire time. Maybe he has. You could have that effect on him, making it harder to breathe. He always wondered why he had such nervous reactions around you specifically. He always figured it had to do with your one sided rivalry, but it feels… Different. More complex.

Your eyes are finally peeled off your computer screen when numerous phone notifications alarm you. Truth be told, you’ve been trying your best to keep yourself occupied as much as possible. That usually helps when you get waves of emotions like this, keeping busy, distracting your mind from overthinking.

Ever since your last encounter with Carmen, you’ve been so on edge. Always trying to do something, anything, so you wouldn’t have to think about what happened, why he acted like that to you. Because you know if you did, you’d just start blaming yourself again, and you’d be back to square one.

Your eyebrows raise at the name of the contact. You were sure he’d blocked you, or at least deleted your number after last time. He was avoidant like that, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you wanted him to talk to you again after that anyways. Maybe it was just to drive the point home, make you feel even more worthless.

Still, you were curious. Even if it was just to cuss you out even more, at least you knew what to expect, right?

[carmen]: hey, I really want to talk to you about what happened last time.

[carmen]: well

[carmen]: I want to apologise

[carmen]: but I can’t do that like this

[carmen]: I’d much rather do it in person

[carmen]: if you’d let me

[carmen]: meet me at odette’s tomorrow around 10? coffee’s on me, I just want to talk

[carmen]: please

The last message was sent minutes later than the rest, while you were reading them. He was desperate for an answer, and though you wanted to hear him out, to talk to him, something in you felt off about the whole thing. Like he was just doing this to clear off his own guilt, only to then ditch you just like he ditched you after culinary school. Because you’re rivals, apparently. That’s what you do.

But then there’s something else in you too. The part that’s still nostalgic about New York with him. About the glances back and forth when you were timed on preparing certain things, about the way he’d stare at you when you got feedback, the ignorant bliss you lived in. When you still believed he might have liked you just a little.

That part of you takes the upper hand when you reply and take his offer. Your heart is in your throat, nerves overtaking you already and you weren’t even with him yet. He had that effect on you sometimes, making it harder to breathe.

You wondered what that meant.

Carmen sits alone at a booth, all the way at the back of the café he’d chosen. It’s rather quiet, as most Mondays are, yet at the same time, it’s so loud. Loud in the way he hears the clinking of every spoon against porcelain cups, the crinkling of a napkin and the not so subtle ticking of the clock above the entrance. 10:06. You were late.

Suddenly he's filled with more regret than he's ever felt before. He's not ready to see you again, only to be reminded of how he made you cry, and of his own tumultuous emotions and shortcomings that lead to this moment. It's surprising how fast the emotions he associates with you changed; he's not angry anymore, he's scared, guilty, nervous. He wants to see you so bad and yet he feels like you'd be better off never talking to him again.

It's too late to make a run for it when you finally walk through the door. Hair a little damp from the rain, just a bit disheveled from what he could only assume to be rushing over to the café. And that same angelic smile you offer to the barista that greets you, the same one you'd offer him every morning, whether he looked at you or not.

He had no choice but to look now.

Your smile falters into something more nervous, a little melancholic, when your eyes meet his across the café. Though you knew he was going to be there, something in you feels surprised to see him again. Maybe it’s because he isn’t yelling at you or throwing insults at your head this time. Or maybe because he’s actually looking you in the eye. Since when did he get so good at that?

You sit down across him, taking off your coat and putting your bag besides you.

“Hey.” You smile again, much more awkward this time.

“Hey.” He returns the same thin lipped smile.

It’s quiet for a few seconds. Carmen swears the whole café has gone silent in that moment, leaving the two of you to listen to the sound of your own breathing and heartrate picking up. You’re not sure where to look, not being used to being in such an intimate setting with him.

“Do you want a coffee?”

“Sorry I was late.”

You both talk over each other, and the urge to chuckle about it overtakes you. Carmen can’t help but smile as well. You seem nervous, and somehow that puts him a little more at ease. Like he’s not the only one who’s in their head about it.

“Sorry, I, uhm, yeah— I would like a coffee.” You scramble over your words. “Please.”

“Sure,” he nods, “and no worries.”

“Hm?”

“That you were late. I haven’t been here that long either.” He lied. He’d been there half an hour early, cursing himself for letting him sit along with his thoughts for that long and psyching himself out into almost leaving.

You both order and another heavy silence sits between you two. You both know why you’re there, what needs to be talked about. Yet neither of you know how to bring it up.

You’ve lived most of your lives believing this version of each other you had in your minds. Because it kept you grounded. Because it was easier. He never let you in and for the longest time, you were at peace with that. You could have a slightly distant view of who he was, your classmate, your rival. And he could do the same. Keep you out, pretend you were there to keep him on his toes, to always try to outdo him.

Those facades of each other don’t work anymore. The real world has forced you to reconcile with each other, whether you liked it or not.

Your coffee gets brought to your table, and both of you feel this urgency to say something, anything, at least.

“The pastries here are good too, if you want to get one.” He finally broke the awkward silence. He can start with talking about food, something he knows. If all else fails, resort back to that.

“I haven’t tried a pastry besides my own in a long time. Maybe I could learn a thing or two here.” You admit. He knows that feeling. He’s not nearly as adventurous with his food choices as he wants to be, but as a busy chef on the brink of a new entrepreneurship, it’s usually beef sandwiches and frozen meals.

“I think yours were better though.” He takes a sip of his coffee.

“Huh?” You look up, realizing you were avoiding eye contact by staring into your cup.

“The danish I tried at your place. It was fire.”

“Oh. Right. Thank you, we make everything from scratch.”

“I could tell.” He takes another sip. “I guess I— I kinda forgot to tell you that. In the heat of it all.” He huffs to himself. “Food was so good it made me upset.”

“Upset?” His word use frustrates you. Upset is when they forget to give you your sauce with your order. What happened back there was not upset. That was rage. Wrath. You raise an eyebrow and he realizes he said something wrong.

“Well, more than upset. Listen, I— We need to talk about what happened.” His blue eyes peer into your own. They’re almost distracting enough to avoid you noticing his fidgeting hands.

“I’m listening.” You lean back slightly in your seat. You’d played nice with Carmen all your life, given him every chance to return it. Now it was his turn to try.

"Right." Of course he has to talk. It's his fault, isn't it? He's the one who snapped-- why did he even imply you'd have to explain yourself? He runs a hand through his hair, and there he goes again, eyes darting across the café to find something to focus on as he sought out the right words. You'd almost find it endearing, how bad he is at this, if it wasn't so important to you.

"You don't do this often, do you?"

"What, like-- meeting up for coffee?"

"Talking about stuff. Your feelings and shit." You hid your slightly amused smile behind your coffee cup before taking a small sip.

"Oh. Yeah, no, I-- I don't. Not until recently." He takes a deep breath. Just like they had told him to. “I’ve been going to this therapy thing my sister recommended. S’not much, but… It’s a start. Talked about the restaurant, my brother—“

“Your brother?” Your eyebrows raise slightly.

“Yeah, my— my brother. Mikey.” He looks a bit surprised. He’s come to the shattering realization that he’s never told you anything about his personal life, ever. You don’t even know about one of the most important people in his life, his main drive. You’ve known each other for so long yet you know so little. “I never told you about him?”

“You never told me anything.” You answer curtly. “We never really… Talked, you know?”

“Yeah— yeah, you’re right. I just thought… Wow.” He smiles, more out of shock than anything. He feels so stupid. How immature is it to be feuding this much with a person who doesn’t know anything about you?

“I guess I really don’t know much about you either.” His fingers rake through his messy curls again. “Makes me feel like even more of an idiot for going off on you like that. Like I had you all figured out.”

“Yeah, that was uh... That was something." The mood shifts a little. His smile fades as soon as he sees the melancholy in your eyes return. Of course it wouldn't be that easy for you to forgive him, to feel better about all this. "You know, I never knew you thought of me like that." A small smile graces your features. Somehow it's sadder than the expression you had before.

"I mean, I knew you didn't like me. I was pretty much at peace with the fact that you were never going to like me, either. But I never thought you hated me that much." You sniffle, trying your hardest to blink away any oncoming tears. "Like your life, your entire career, would have been easier without me there at all."

His heart aches at the sight of you, all teary eyed and trying to be brave. You're much braver than him. Sadness is a much harder thing to express than anger. He's starting to figure that out more and more.

"I don't hate you." He starts. He sees the confusion contort your features, and he knows he's not making any sense. "I mean I did-- I did hate you. Or, maybe not you, just... The fucked up idea I had of you. And-- and that was on me, that was my own fault." He feels an urge to touch you; to rub your back, hold your hand, anything to comfort you. It's tearing him apart to know that he's the cause of all this.

"But why?" A single tear rolls down your cheek, leaving a wet streak on your skin in its wake. "Why did you think that about me? I-- I get that we had a little rivalry going but jesus Carmen, did you really think I spent my whole culinary school career trying to outdo you?"

"To be honest... Yeah." He feels ashamed. So ashamed. He hopes the waitress doesn't walk by and listen to any of this, see you crying, and make you feel even worse. "Cooking was always just... My thing. If I was good for anything, it would be that. So seeing you do so well at something I'd started to base my whole existence around, it made me jealous, so fucking jealous." He meets your eyes, even if it's hard. You have to know he's being sincere.

"And it's-- it's unfair, it's so unfair to you, I know, and I'm really fuckin' sorry. I'm trying to work on myself, on everything, and I hope I can prove that to you." His face has that red tint you recognize whenever he's nervous or stressed. You can tell this is taking a lot from him.

"Is that really all? You were just jealous?" Your voice is quieter, fragile almost.

"I don't know. I wanna think it's that simple but I really don't know. There's a lot I don't understand about me, or you, or us. My mind doesn't know how to react when I see you anymore I think, now that things are different." He takes a deep breath, like saying that took a physical toll on him. "You have this-- this weird effect on me, and I don't know how to cope with it. I think it was just easier to be mad at you than to be anything else."

Anger is easier to express than sadness. The easiest out of all emotions, actually. Sometimes a little too easy.

You look to the side, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. You huff out something close to a laugh, and though he’s caught off guard by it, he doesn’t mind it. Even if you’re laughing at him, at least that means you’re not crying.

“You’ve got issues Berzatto. You know that?”

“Yeah. I’ve been told.” He smiles, and it’s heartfelt this time. Not nervous, or sad, or awkward. He’s happy to see you a little more at ease.

“It’s just really crazy to me.” You trace your finger over the edge of your coffee cup as you talk. “I spent so much time in culinary school looking up to you. And then I find out you were always just trying to keep up with me.”

Carmen’s eyebrows raise a little at your words. “Looked up to me?”

“Yeah, like… Your drive, your passion, it’s so impressive. Always looking to improve, to do better, it just— it inspired me to do better too. As cheesy as that may sound.” You smiled. “S’why I opened up in Chicago, you know.”

“Really? Huh.” He leaned back in his seat.

“Because I wanted to work with you. Or for you. Either would have been fine with me.” You sigh. “I like owning my own place, but… I don’t know, for some reason I always imagined us working together.” You smiled. “Is that stupid?”

“No,” he replied quickly, “no not at all, I— I totally get that.” He’s quiet for a few seconds, and you can practically hear the gears turning in his head when he stares at you for a moment.

“I mean you’re a remarkable chef, really, like— insanely remarkable, and, well, we’re revamping the restaurant completely right now. We need people— more people, new people, and so, I was wondering— or I’ve been thinking—“ He stops himself from losing his breath from all his rambling, before he freaks you out even more than he already has.

“I want you to come work for us at the Bear.” He puts his hands together, as if he’s about to beg. “Please.”

You can almost hear yourself blinking out of confusion. There’s suddenly no more loud silences, no, the café seems dead quiet for once. All you can do is stare at him, wait for a laugh, because clearly this was a joke right? There’s no way Carmen Berzatto, chef supreme, arch nemesis of yours, would want you anywhere near him, let alone work in his own establishment.

“I’m sorry?”

He feels stupid already. You had every reason to say no. He’d been the biggest asshole in the world to you, he’d kept his distance all his life, and now he expects you to be his employee. Or, well, colleague, more so.

“I’m uh— we’re redoing the restaurant entirely. New equipment, new staff, new everything.” He swallows; the thought of everything that needed to be done arises for a moment. “We need people that work hard, who know what they’re doing and who are passionate about it. And I barely know anyone who’s better at what you do than yourself.” He pauses, waiting for you to stop him. But you don’t.

“So I’m asking if you’d work for me. With me. It won’t be anything like old days, if anything I— I need to learn from you.” He scoffs at himself. “Could take a thing or two about how to communicate with my staff.”

You smile, and he genuinely thinks you’re about to start laughing at him. You chuckle, but it’s not mean, it’s honest. Cute.

“You know, you have great timing.” You grin.

“I do?” the smile on his face reflects the hope he feels.

“One of my chefs wants to take over the place for me. Well, has been wanting to. I haven’t had an exact reason to say yes to her yet.” You shrugged. “Guess I do now.”

“…Is that you saying yes?”

“It’s definitely not me saying no.” Your eyes meet his, and there’s something between you both that’s different now. It’s not like there’s a switch that’s been flipped. It‘s more like this conversation was the turning page of a new chapter.

“I’ll think about it. I want to see it first. Maybe talk to some of your staff.” Carmen’s chest strains a little when he thinks about you interacting with Richie. Then he’s reassured when he thinks about you interacting with Sydney or Marcus. You’d fit in well, you have great feeling for people.

“Yeah— yeah, I get that. Totally. I can arrange that. Uhm, we’re renovating right now, actually, it’s all really kinda wild, but if you wanna stop by, chat with Syd, or Nat, or talk about the plans, let me know. I’m sure they’d love to talk to you.” He’s not lying, you seem like you’d get along well with them. Especially Sydney. Your thinking processes are very similar to each other. And to his.

Carmen gets the bill, even though you try to pay for it.

“It’s just a coffee, just let me get this one.”

You let him have this one, simply because you can’t argue with him after the conversation you just had. You’re in too good of a mood after his proposition too.

He walks you to your car, hands in his pockets when you reach it. It’s cold outside, and his breath comes out in visible puffs of air. His nose is a little red, but you think it looks cute.

“Thanks for coming, by the way,” he starts, “I know you didn’t have to. Like— after how I acted to you. But— But I really do appreciate that you’re givin' me a chance here.” He’d always been confused about how positive and faithful you were in people. He never thought he’d be grateful for those exact features too.

“No worries, I… I had a good time. I’m glad we talked.” The keys jingle as you fidget with them. Among them is a keychain in the shape of a cherry, he recognizes it. It reminds him of how little you’ve both changed. And how much.

“Yeah.” He sighs. Relieved, almost. “Me too. But I’ll let you leave, might wanna tell your chef the good news.”

“Good news?” You quirk an eyebrow.

“That you’re selling them the business.”

“I haven’t decided yet, Carm.” You scoff. But he can tell you have, you look too excited about it all to not have your mind made up yet. It excites him too. Scares him a bit as well, but what’s a new chapter without a bit of tension?

“Right. Sorry.” He huffs. “Just text me when you wanna head over to see the place. It’s uh… It’s a work in progress, but it’s getting somewhere.”

“I believe you. I’m looking forward to it.” You lean back against your car a little.

“Yeah. Me too.”

“See y’around?” You unlock it and walk up to the driver’s side.

“Course. Uh, don’t be a stranger.”

You grin, leaning down to get into the vehicle. “Never with you, Berzatto.”

He watches you drive off, standing in the cold for far longer than any sensible person has any business standing there. But he feels good. He feels warm.

He thinks about what you said to him before you left. You were right, you were never a stranger to him. You were always like a constant in his life; whether you were actually present or not. And even if he didn’t know that much about you, which he was insistent on changing, you were never a stranger.

Never with him.

tag list <3

@beebslebobs @thatone-brightstar  @spr3id  @deadandstill  @777iii  @magicboytrash  @dogdevourer @wiipes @sierrahhh  @crayzmarvelfan800 @azxulaa  @astridyoo15   @rexorangecouny  @azxulaa @jointherebellion215 @diorrfairy @chanluuvr @idontexist-anymore @wolfiealina

#carmenmath #aster writes the bear #carmen berzatto writing #carmen berzatto x fem!reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto the bear #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto blurb #carmen berzatto x y/n #jeremy allen white imagine #jeremy allen white fic #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto the bear fx

[jamneuromain]

ohhoehoe! Dark!priest!Ari goes really well with innocent/naive!reader. Just imagine that his hands//

ALL OF THAT YOU TYPED OMG WE NEED A FIC WITH EXACTLY THAT PLOT (if you're willing) Dark!priest!Ari or Andy or Steve or Lloyd or whichever Chris' character you see more fitting 🥵🥵🥵🔥

oohhhhhh okiee so this is *temporarily* what I have in mind in headcanon (for now) but feel free to chip in

- Not specified which church so you can blend your imagination there -

(honestly I have next to little memory of this reblog lmao)

Favorite

Summary: You confess to Ari about some sinful thoughts you have in the Church.

Warning: Dark!Ari Levinson, Priest!Ari Levinson, innocent!reader, I'M PORTRAYING ARI as a predator priest don't read if YOU ARE HIGHLY RELIGIOUS. (and also the facts about church and priests could be a bit mixed up)

Kids at the church joked that he might be Jesus, for the beard and the long hair looked similar to the ancient painting hanging on the wall.

Indeed, Ari Levinson is kindness and sympathy in a human form, saying that he started truly believing and having faith after a terrible incident that nearly took his life. He isn't from this neighborhood, but that doesn't stop him from being a part of it.

Barbeques at Winston's backyard, the annual fair in Rhinestone Park, the New Year's celebration of the local schools ... you name it, he's in. Whether to chip in from his own thin wallet or to help out pushing and moving things around.

He's a true saint. Everyone says so.

You confessed to him, after a regular Sunday morning, when the sun was blazing outside and this little church he stayed in remained a bit chilly as ever. You told him about the crush you have on one of the handsome boys in the sports team, and you fidget nervously because your parents told you it would be unholy if you had these thoughts of boys at such a young age before actually marrying someone.

He listened through your stupid little confession without any annoyance you'd seen on Father Richmond's (the older priest who actually runs the place) face, telling you in a soft silky voice that everyone sins, and they shall ask for forgiveness.

But, he winked, and whispered to you a little secret: since you are his favorite, he could pray to God later that night, and personally ask for forgiveness.

He led you to the altar and knelt with you, murmuring a string of prayers that you could only shut your eyes tightly and listen to.

You fear that God would be mad and abandon you and your family as a result - which you had told Ari prior, in detail.

"God spoke to me. He asked me to pass forward a blessing." He helped you up from the ground. The sunlight fell onto his velvety robes, creating a warm glow around him, making him look like a true saint, some might even say a miracle.

"Really?" You gasped in excitement. No one, and you mean no one has performed such wonder before, claiming that they could directly talk to God.

"Would I lie to you, darling?" He caressed your jaw fondly, his calloused thumb ran over the patch of delicate skin below your earlobe and you squirmed under his heated gaze.

"No." You whimpered, "What was the blessing, Father Levinson?"

He cradled your head and took your lips into a deep, soul-striking kiss.

"God told me he's fond of you. He has sent me to pass his future blessings on." Ari responded, softly smiling as your doe-y eyes widened in utter shock.

So shocked, in fact, that you forgot about your parents' words. They had told you before that kissing was also on the list of No-No.

"Me...?"

"Yes, darling, you." He mused, dipping his hand into the shallow bronze plate that carried holy water, drawing a mark with the dampened fingers on your forehead, "Now you should be rid of those sinister thoughts. If you have any more trouble, my office is always open for you, darling."

"Thank you, Father Levinson," You squealed, so happy to finally erase the heavy feelings off your mind.

"Anytime, darling." He clamped his hands together, kindly smiling at your happiness, "But keep this between us, will you?" He gestured to the confession and the altar, "It would be quite the fuss if the town knows about the all-loving Lord has a favorite."

#ari levinson x reader #ari levinson x you #dark ari levinson #the red sea diving resort #ari levinson #ari levinson x female reader #ari levinson fanfiction #priest!ari levinson #innocent!reader

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today on "5k worth of a fic idea that I constantly spin around in my mind like a rotisserie chicken but am not invested enough in to actually write:"

Identity porn omegaverse dystopia AU; Peter is an infertile omega who, despite May's attempts to give him the best chances possible by scraping by to get him an education in both domestic skills and academics, has pretty much zero prospects for his future. Sure, she'll take care of him herself as the household alpha for as long as she can, but she knows a time will come when he'll be on his own, and she knows what happens to infertile omegas-- no matter how wonderful of a housekeeper or nanny or tutor she makes him into, who's going to hire him for that in earnest when he could be used for other things on the side, and who's going to marry an omega who can't give them children?

So one day, she’s helping clean up after a charity event for F.E.A.S.T. that was sponsored by Stark Industries, and she accidentally wanders into a back area and overhears something she's not supposed to through a door. Tony Stark himself, venting on a phonecall to a friend about how the executive board is starting to put real pressure on him to marry if he's going to continue to lead SI-- the public is starting to lose faith in him as a good alpha when he refuses to settle down with a beta or omega and share in his gifts as a protector and provider, yadda yadda, and no matter how much he argues that he's being a protector and provider for the whole country through his work at SI they aren't letting up, and he doesn't even want kids and he doesn't want to saddle some poor omega with the burden of being Mr.-or-Mrs. Stark and everything that goes with that, and they're even implying considering a motion of no-confidence, and and and--

May stands there and listens, and thinks about how she doesn't know Tony Stark personally, but he's made the news before by actually hiring highly-educated omegas (from overseas, where that's permitted) for research positions at SI, and she knows that he funds multiple different charities for omegas in distress, and--

She doesn't like being a charity case, but she does have an omega in distress. So she prepares her speech in her head, and once Tony's off the phone she steps into the room with him and closes the door behind her, and she lays it all out.

She has an omega nephew who's infertile, and he's going to be turning 18 in only a few short years, and she already can barely afford to take care of the both of them even with the tax breaks from claiming him as a dependent. So when he turns 18, sooner or later he'll have to go to work, and being an infertile unwed omega with no prospects means that he'll be nothing more than a glorified prostitute in any position he's hired for, no matter what his supposed job title says. He has the skills to be the perfect househusband, or hell, even a lab assistant if Tony doesn't mind training him up a little, he's smart and he's as educated as May could make sure of, and fine, yeah, he's pretty. And he's on the brink of a life of misery, and May does not want that for him, to the point that she's willing to ask for help from an alpha that she doesn't know and has no reason to actually trust, but if what Tony needs is a sham marriage where he'll get to prove he actually does have all those necessary alpha instincts that make him a good leader, without the expectation or even the possibility of children--

Tony cuts her off eventually, initially disgusted that he's being offered some kind of child husband as a solution to his problems and that May's apparently willing to pawn her nephew off on the nearest rich scumbag, but May straightens her shoulders and makes it clear: she would continue to scrape by for Peter as long as possible, but a day is going to come when that's not going to work anymore, and as much as it hurts her to do, giving Peter away to someone that at least has an incentive to treat him well is the best option she has. She puts it back on Tony: she's only offering Peter to some rich scumbag if he is one, so is he? Or is he actually willing to put his money where his mouth is and protect an omega in need, and help himself out in the process?

Tony sends her away without answering, and she's deflated over it for all of a day, because the next day she gets a phonecall to arrange a first date.

Peter is nervous when May explains it to him and apologizes for arranging things without his input, but also thrilled, because one of the things that May left out when she was describing Peter to Tony was that Peter is huge fan of his. Even aside from the fact that marrying Tony might genuinely be an escape from a very grim future, having Tony Stark as a husband is just unbelievable to think about, after Peter had all but given up on the idea of getting to be married at all once his infertility was diagnosed. It might be nerve-wracking too, marrying someone over twice his age that he'll barely get a chance to know before the wedding, and Peter hopes and hopes that Tony is as good of an alpha as he seems to be from television and magazines, but-- he can't help but be excited.

So he meets Tony at the tower for a lunch date, and Peter does his best to present himself with perfect manners and deference and charm because he doesn't really know how to put his best foot forward otherwise-- Tony's rich enough to have staff for the cooking and cleaning and homecare even if Peter wasn't any good at it, and after you take that and minding any children out of the picture Peter doesn't really know what he has to offer as an omega. (Well, he does, but Tony's expression turns sour at even the slightest hint of flirtation, and Peter doesn't know whether to be relieved that Tony obviously isn't after him just for his capacity to take a knot or terrified that maybe Tony isn't interested in him at all.) But then Tony directs the conversation toward Peter's studies instead, and-- Peter leaves still feeling unsure over Tony's feelings, but during that part of the conversation Tony did at least perk up and ask a lot of questions and even smile, so that's something.

Their next meeting is more of a business meeting than anything, so May is a bigger part of the conversation than Peter is. She negotiates the potential marriage contract aggressively in Peter's favor, to a point that even Peter is shocked by-- they don't even have a dowry to offer, so their bargaining power is next to nothing-- but Tony just shrugs and accepts all of her conditions, and even makes suggestions that May and Peter don't think to ask for.

And after agreeing to draw up a contract that includes all of May's demands, Tony turns to Peter and explains exactly what being Mr. Peter Stark will involve-- the incessant gossip and prying into Tony and Peter's private life, including Peter's infertility, the criticism from the press on Peter's looks and clothing and behavior every time Peter goes out in public, the fact that a lot of the people Tony has to keep company with are not at all progressive about omegas and Tony will do his best to protect Peter from that, but shutting the bullshit down in the aftermath won't shield Peter from having to hear it in the first place, the fact that Peter might find himself lonely with the huge shift in class if his friends grow distant or fake once he has money, etc. etc.

He makes it clear that he wants to be absolutely sure that Peter knows what he's signing up for, and that Peter's really thought it through before anyone signs anything. And Peter is touched by the gesture, but of course none of that is anything near as bad as what he has waiting for him otherwise, so-- a week later the paperwork is finalized and signed, Peter has his first kiss in front of his aunt and Tony's closest friend, and he becomes Tony Stark's husband.

He's nervous but not scared when Tony takes him to his new home and gives him the tour. He hasn't known Tony long, and he's heard the horror stories of alphas that were sweet and adoring right up until the wedding night, but-- Tony had been so concerned about Peter's comfort when they were negotiating the contract, and it even included clauses that would allow Peter to leave him, with something called alimony, so Peter feels pretty secure in the thought that Tony will at least be gentle with him, if not actually-- passionate.

But then Tony leads him past the bedroom with nothing more than a quick peek and a, "This is my room; feel free to find me in here if you need me," and takes Peter to another room down the hall where he stops and says, "Here's yours. The movers got here earlier, so feel free to change things around if it's not set up how you want it, and I got some new things for you that you'll need."

The 'new things' turn out to be a collection of beautiful suits and dress shoes and other accessories, and not-- what Peter thought they might be-- and the room is fully set up and organized, Peter's trinkets and tech scraps sorted into tasteful bins or proudly displayed. Peter's twin bed from his apartment with May has been replaced by a queen, and that he was expecting, but the bedding is a close match to what he had before, and the whole thing gives the impression of a stylish update to his childhood bedroom.

He's flattered and touched and a little embarrassed-- the room doesn't exactly scream 'married man,' but he does love it, and it was such a sweet gesture on Tony's part-- but Tony brushes off his breathless thanks in favor of talking about their plans for tomorrow. Tony wants to take him shopping-- Peter can wear whatever he wants, Tony says, but he thought Peter might appreciate some new casual options now that he was married, and they can go back to the bespoke place that Tony had given his measurements to for the suits if Peter wants some more formal options as well-- and then maybe to lunch, as a low-key introduction of the new Mr. Peter Stark to the world before they start having to tackle galas and red carpets.

And Peter is beside himself with gratitude and awe at Tony's thoughtfulness, and rapidly losing even the expected jitter of first-time nerves the longer they talk, and he makes his smiles soft and shy and inviting as the conversation starts to wind down--

But then Tony just claps him awkwardly on the shoulder with a, "Well, good night," and goes off down the hallway to his bedroom, leaving Peter lingering confused and a little disappointed in his own doorway without even a kiss.

At first Peter thinks Tony is just being overly-conscientious of Peter's comfort, so he does his best to show Tony that he's perfectly comfortable and that he trusts Tony and he's ready without being overly suggestive about it-- he still remembers how Tony reacted when Peter tried to flirt with him on their date-- but three days into their honeymoon week, Peter has met several of Tony's friends and eaten in fabulous restaurants and bought enough new things to make his head spin, but he still hasn't even been scented, much less anything else.

So that third night, he takes a risk on the idea that Tony needs him to be more overt about communicating his comfort, and when Tony tells him good night Peter leans in for a kiss. Just something chaste, nothing that should put Tony's hackles up if he finds immodest omegas a turn-off-- but Tony actually puts a hand against his shoulder and leans away, and Peter's stomach drops to his feet.

"I'm sorry," Peter apologizes immediately, weakly, chilled to the bone by what he can only interpret as the disgust in Tony's expression. Tony-- Tony wasn't affectionate, but Peter had never thought for a second that Tony hated him; it didn't even make sense that Tony would hate him when he had been so kind. "I'm so sorry-- I didn't-- I thought--"

"No-- Peter, you're fine," Tony sighs, but he doesn’t drop his hand from Peter's shoulder, holding him firmly at a distance. "I'm not-- we're not doing that. Okay? It's nothing personal; you're just too young for me."

"But I'm your husband," Peter says blankly, not quite processing what that could possibly mean.

"I know, and the fact that that's even allowed is an absolute failure of our legal system," Tony says with a grimace, finally letting go of Peter but shifting back two steps. "Look, I'm-- did your aunt not talk to you about this? I'm going to be a good alpha for you, you can do whatever you want and I'll make sure you stay safe and you have whatever you need to be happy, but this is just an on-paper thing, kid. You don't have to put yourself out there to get abused by knothead alphas; I don't have to bring kids into this world to screw up; we both get to have society see us as a healthy pair of red-blooded Americans mated to a different designation just like god intended. You don't have to do anything for me that you don't want to."

And Peter had known that it was mostly political-- well, that it was all political; he doesn't kid himself for a moment that he actually has anything to offer Tony that the man seems to be interested in-- but he hadn't realized the extent to which they weren't even going to pretend. People got married for political reasons all the time, but they still made the best of it-- they were still affectionate, they were still intimate, they were still partners--

The words 'what about my heats' almost make their way out of Peter's mouth before he remembers to keep things focused on his alpha's needs, not his own, and he says, "What about your ruts?"

"I'll handle them the same way I have for the last thirty-something years of my life?" Tony shrugs, brushing the idea off like it's nothing, but he must see the lingering conflict in Peter's expression. He sighs, and awkwardly ventures, "And for your heats... You can handle them however you have been so far, or you can buy some toys, or-- hell, if you want to find a strapping young alpha to help you through them, that's fine with me."

Peter is horrified.

"You want me to cheat on you?"

But Tony is just as dismissive of that as everything else, and he just says, "There's no fidelity clause in our marriage contract."

Peter doesn't know how to feel. Being with Tony so far has felt like a dream, and this-- this is still so much better than the alternative, this sham half-relationship where he's apparently meant to be-- Tony's ward moreso than his actual partner, so he knows it's entitled, he knows he shouldn't say it and that he's still making out like a bandit regardless of Tony's answer and he shouldn't even expect anything else, but--

"Are you going to cheat on me?" he asks, voice tiny, and Tony goes still.

It takes him a long time to answer. Enough time that Peter has started trying to acclimate himself to that reality-- being one of those omegas that everyone looks at with pity and shakes their heads over, whose alphas come home every day smelling like someone else, and-- well, it wasn't like anyone had ever been going to believe that he was enough to keep a leash on Tony Stark anyway, so it's stupid to be upset about it; people were going to assume Tony was cheating on him whether it was true or not. He can deal with that. It's fine.

"No," Tony says finally, slowly. "I-- kid, I'm sorry, I thought you knew how this was going to work. But no, I'm not going to cheat on you. The whole point is for me to be a good alpha to you, not to make you miserable."

"What about me being a good omega to you?" Peter asks, pressing his luck; his knees are already weak with relief so he doesn't know why he can't keep his mouth shut and stop talking back, but he's just-- in shock.

Tony grimaces again, shaking his head, and says, "I don't need you to be a good omega to me, kid; I'm a grown man and I can take care of myself. What kind of person do you want to be? Do you want to-- study science and learn to build computers, do you want to design new LEGO sets, do you want to do music or travel the world or run charities like your aunt? Worry about that. Figure out what you want to do and tell me and we'll make it happen, but don't worry about me."

And it is a dream come true, being told he can be or do whatever he wants-- who said stuff like that, who let their omegas behave that way?-- but Peter is still stuck, because--

"What if I want to worry about you?"

"You don't," Tony says bluntly, such an abrupt shutdown that it doesn't even hurt. "You've just been told that's the only thing you're good for your entire life, so you think it's what you're supposed to do, but it's not true."

And Peter-- doesn't know whether to be offended, not that he could act on it even if he did. It is offensive, being told his own mind, but he can see that Tony's frustration is for him and not at him, and that this is Tony trying to-- be sweet, somehow, in his own way--

Tony says, "You have so many better things you could be doing than wandering around after me in case I need something, all right? I'm a big boy; I can get my own snacks and pick up my own socks. So let's figure out what your 'better things' are."

--And Peter is still utterly befuddled by it, and doesn't really understand what Tony is getting at with how he's been essentially groomed to be obedient/deferential and suppress his own needs in favor of his alpha's, and he's still nursing a little bit of hurt and disappointment and grief that Tony doesn't want him at all and that their marriage is nothing but a mask all the way down, but.

They spend the rest of their honeymoon week with Peter trying out different things and getting different experiences to see if he likes them, and by the time Tony goes back to work, Peter has a private tutor to help him get an education past the last level that was available to him as an unmarried omega, and his own workspace in the apartment for his tinkering, and a personal chaperone so that he can go to whatever museums or expos he wants with an extra layer of security beyond what just his wedding ring provides.

It works, even though it still chafes Peter a bit to be treated essentially as a foster child instead of a husband, especially when he's in heat and Tony tends to him like an alpha parent does for an omega child instead of like a lover, and especially when they travel overseas and Tony actually takes his wedding ring off and won't introduce Peter as his mate.

("I'm not trying to cheat on you, Pete; things are just different here," Tony explains, and Peter doesn't get it because everyone already knows that Tony Stark is married and who to, but-- things are different overseas, and it is a little bit thrilling to see omegas wandering around so freely, living whatever lives they want to lead, and Peter is too nervous to go exploring without Tony or Happy anyway but the idea that he could is incredible.)

But they fall into a routine, and Peter's still so grateful for getting to live a life alongside Tony even if it isn't exactly what he had pictured.

And then-- and here's why the "not going to actually write it" disclaimer, 3k words in, because that would allllllllllllllll just be set-up for:

Peter goes on a tour of the Osborn building as a part of his science education, and he's trying to get more comfortable with not needing a chaperone when he's out in public because maybe Tony will start treating him more like an adult if he tries to be more independent, so he doesn't stay put and wait while his tutor is in the bathroom, aaaaand he gets bit by a radioactive spider.

And as he's realizing in the aftermath how it's changed his body-- how he's strong now, stronger than any alpha, stronger than ten alphas-- he starts... thinking about things. About all those vigilantes he's heard of, out on the streets, putting themselves at risk to protect people. About how many times he's had to walk past omegas with black eyes and 'wedding rings' that they wore around their necks, his head lowered in vicarious shame. About how maybe-- if he was brave enough-- if he could shake off that nervousness that told him he needed a chaperone, that he was doing something wrong by being an omega out on his own--

So he does.

Tony bites his tongue about it when Peter starts going out on his own, because he's stressed to Peter over and over how he wants Peter to do whatever he wants, and he genuinely doesn't know where the line between 'controlling alpha' and 'responsible adult' is when he's married to a literal child, but he relaxes when Peter starts coming back bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and thriving with his new independence.

...Until he sees enough clips of this "Spider-man" that it piques his interest, and does enough research to figure out who it is.

He and Peter fight about it, which is wild and new because Peter never actually talks back to him, raised with those perfect omega manners, and only ever gently questions Tony during those moments where all Tony's doing is trying not to treat him like a piece of property.

But Peter throws all of that back in his face now, arguing that Tony is the one who always says that Peter should do what makes him happy, he should do whatever he wants, and he shouldn't base his entire life around what he thinks Tony wants because he's his own person, and this makes him happy, this is the 'better thing' that he can be making of his life if Tony's not going to give him the dignity of at least pretending he has any value as a husband--

And Tony doesn't know how to argue about it, because he has said all those things, but Peter is also a child and it's not right for him to be throwing himself around putting himself in danger like that, and-- and also he didn't know Peter was so fucking bitter about Tony not treating him as an actual spouse, and he hates that for Peter because it's not going to change anytime soon but it's also fascinating, somehow, to hear Peter be sharp with him after nearly a year of nothing but polite deference--

He rubs a hand over his face and says, "Pete, if any of those alpha criminals get their hands on you--"

And Peter takes a liberty he's never taken before-- he hasn't tried to touch Tony on his own initiative at all since that failed attempt at a kiss, except to shrink against his side when he was uncomfortable in public-- and takes Tony's wrists gently in hand and walks him back until Tony's pinned to the wall without a single hint of strain, and he just says, "Try."

He's not mean or even condescending about it, instead watching Tony with a plaintive plea for Tony to understand. So Tony accepts the challenge, and-- he's seen the videos, he did know how fucking strong Peter had to be to do those things, but it's not until he's struggled fruitlessly against Peter's grip to the point that he's breathless with it that it really, truly sinks in.

So then he's standing there, red-faced and panting and pinned to the wall by Peter's unfaltering grip around his wrists, and he registers the way that Peter's expression has changed, all dark-eyed and flushed even though holding Tony in place clearly wasn't a strain for him at all, and he registers how close they're standing to each other, and he registers how heavy Peter's scent is in the air, all warm honey sweetness--

And he says, "All right, fine, you win," because he suddenly needs to not be having this conversation anymore.

He does take some steps, though. He builds Peter a better suit, and he loads it with an AI to take care of him and to alert Tony if Peter starts getting in over his head. And Peter accepts it with genuine gratitude, and it helps Tony feel a little better, but-- Peter gets hit so hard sometimes, and there are so many situations where Tony wouldn't even have time to intervene before Peter could be critically injured or even dead on the spot, and Tony doesn't honestly know what he thinks he would be able to do about it if Peter did get in over his head, it's not like he has super powers--

But then he gets to thinking, and in all honesty, it's not like he needs actual superpowers, is it? When he could just build himself something. Something that would let him actually help Peter while he was out there, fighting for the good of a world that would've thrown him to the wolves in half a second if Tony hadn't intervened, if May Parker hadn't had the strength to ask for help-- and if for some reason Peter seems to hate it when Tony actually speaks into his heroing, like it's some kind of insult that Tony wants him to be safe, maybe he'll accept some help from someone else--

Peter doesn't know what to think of Iron Man when he comes on the scene, at first. It's a little irritating how often he tries to tell Peter to hang back, when he clearly doesn't even have the same amount of experience that Peter does, but it's not too long before Iron Man's deferring to Peter instead, and then it's not too long after that that they become a pretty good team. And once Iron Man learns to treat him as an equal, Peter finds that he's funny and thoughtful and sweet, and he tells Peter whatever he wants to know about how the armor works, and--

Peter has never for a second actually considered exploiting the lack of an infidelity clause in his and Tony's marriage contract. But there is something a little-- addictive, about having the respect and attention of this brilliant armor-clad alpha, when his actual alpha still treats him like a child, and he starts... thinking.

And Tony has never for a second actually thought of Peter as an actual mate. He's too young; that would be-- disgusting. But-- Peter's almost an entirely different person in the suit, or maybe he's just an entirely different person when he's not with Tony-- his alpha-- because Spider-man is all sass and vinegar and unyielding strength of character, and Tony wishes that Peter would bring some of that home with him instead of the return of his unending soft-spoken deferential politeness, because if he did--

If he did--

On second thought, Tony's not going to think about it.

#starker #half-baked ideas #quasific

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SOME ILLEGIBLE RAMBLES AND REFLECTIONS: MISSING WYLL

Jumping off my last analytical post for BG3, I actually do want to talk about Wyll a little. Wyll has been the companion I've had the trickiest time sorting thoughts out on. I do have thoughts on him, and frankly I want to invite people who are mainly Wyll fans to chime in if they have any observations that I might've missed! I don't know if this is the best way to explain it, but my perspective is if his story were a song I'd say he has the makings of a beautiful one--but there are notes missing. Notes that really, really should be there . I don't know why they aren't there, or if they've been hidden somewhere I haven't found yet.

As usual, longass discussion under the cut.

Here is my understanding of Wyll currently, without grabbing specific quotes.

Ulder Ravegard is his dad, who was a humble blacksmith who rose to nobility through some exceptional effort and personal achievement. Pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps sort of guy, takes pride in being compassionate and dealing with others in good faith. Raised Wyll not to consider himself better than anyone due to his status, but also seems to have imparted a lot of lawful good mentalities tbh. One thing that stood out a lot to me was a line Wyll said in Act III about how as a kid, he used to pretend to kill monsters in the park all the time. When he became an actual monster hunter as the Blade of Frontiers he had the disquieting realization that most monsters in reality are only people, just like him and his friends. This is interesting to me because it was NOT a lesson he got as a kid, and from how Ulder treats Wyll I don't think it's something Ulder is quite comfortable with himself. I'd go so far as to argue that, while Ulder's definition of 'good' is genuinely very good--it doesn't leave a lot of tolerance for anyone outside that. His compassion only goes so far and no farther. He's a little black-and-white in his thinking.

Side note: Wyll seems to treat being Blade of Frontiers like being a two-dimensional hero in a storybook at times. The Act III line where he admits it's all just messy people was so fucking interesting, and I wish there was more examination of the messy morality of trying to fight monsters or even understand what monsters are for him. Being good isn't easy or guaranteed and the most impressive title in the world doesn't prove you're actually a hero. Actions come before reputation.

Wyll was, according to the previous point, raised to be the embodiment of lawful good as Ulder saw it. Be selfless, don't indulge in finery or status, be noble, make sacrifices for the greater good. With that in-mind, I want to point out that for all Wyll doesn't like courtly life he loves to dance as something more aligned to that courtly lifestyle. It's one of the things he has left that continues to give him joy. It's an indulgence.

Wyll, as raised by Ulder, sacrifices his own well-being and future in his pact with Mizora to ensure no one else in Baldur's Gate came to harm. He was also bound in such a way that prevented him from explaining what happened or why. When Ulder saw his son return home with one eye, pacted to a devil, obviously in a lot of distress and struggling to explain something... Ulder's reaction wasn't to trust his son's morality or feel concern for him. Ulder decided to hurl out all history, all individual understanding of Wyll's character, and chuck Wyll out like he was a pure evil aligned monster and always had been. He just assumed Wyll was the embodiment of every selfish, depraved impulse he could imagine and a traitor to every cause he believed in. He also does not change his mind on this unless forcibly shown through the tadpole what actually transpired. He is not willing to listen or consider alternate perspectives, and I'd argue he loved his son as an abstract concept/extension of his own moral beliefs more than as his own person. (And as an aside: given how Ulder reacted to Wyll without even knowing his situation, do you think he would be ready to show compassion to someone like Astarion who has done horrific things to others under coercion?)

Note, Wyll never actually deals with previous point emotionally. He never allows himself to feel anger or grief over the way his own father treated him. He never lashes out at Ulder on his own behalf for not seeing him as a person, for not treating him as a person, for not loving him as a person or as his son. Ulder talks almost casually about having misjudged Wyll. 'Whoops my bad, I might be an asshole'. We're in a game where Astarion kills Cazador and just starts screaming and sobbing on his knees over everything that happened. Why isn't Wyll pissed off that everything he endured ALONE, the realization that his father never really saw or trusted him, was met with 'whoops'? Why isn't Ulder more horrified over what he did to Wyll? The fact that he isn't so much as in the same breath as other characters expressing anguish makes me think he still, STILL does not understand what he put Wyll through as his father. And Wyll having no reaction other than 'yay Dad likes me again :D' doesn't ring true imo. It's possible to love someone but be absolutely furious with or hurt by them. Mizora was not the only one who did Wyll dirty.

Wyll's pact with Mizora in the first place hinged on Wyll not trusting himself to keep Baldur's Gate safe from the cult of Tiamat AND Wyll not considering himself someone also worthy of protection too. Wyll is part of the tradition 'other people's suffering counts but not mine, I exist to be a shield for others'. I don't think Wyll has ever been taught he is also part of Baldur's Gate who should be kept safe. Self-sacrifice under those circumstances isn't an informed choice but like a self-destructive person offering their life up for cheap, when it isn't strictly necessary. First resort rather than last kinda deal.

Unless I've forgotten something, Wyll breaking his pact is framed not only by Mizora but the narrative as Wyll being selfish and deciding his father should die instead of keeping himself bound. The narrative itself doesn't really challenge this idea even if Wyll does successfully save Ulder unbound by his pact with Mizora. In my experience, out of all the cast members I think Wyll is the only one who is framed as possibly a worse person for opting out of the abusive relationship he's in. I really don't think he should be. Healthy selfishness (self-care, self-esteem) is not a bad thing. We have sayings about not setting ourselves on fire to keep others warm. I don't know why Wyll isn't given room to realize, discuss, and embrace this. In addition to everything else I've mentioned it kind of kills the shape of his character arc imo. Wyll starts off selfless to a fault. Having him remain selfless to a fault and continue making the same choices he did at the beginning sets him up for spiritual death as a character, which would make him staying pacted to Mizora fitting to articulate that concept in a way. He didn't 'sin' against or wrong other people to become a devil, but he absolutely 'sinned' against himself by allowing it to continue. It's total self-destruction and it's tragic. But when he breaks the cycle, in canon any degree of selfishness is still narratively condemned. He only gets "redeemed" if he saves Ulder, in the sense that he is still enforced as a selfless person/he is only so good as he is selfless. ADDITIONALLY! He's given a choice between protecting people as Archduke or protecting people as Blade of Avernus but there isn't actually a whole lot of discussion about Wyll's own happiness regardless of others. Wyll isn't given room to feel ugly emotions, anger on his own behalf, or basic self-preservation without the game itself side-eyeing him. Wyll should not have to be a "perfect" and selfless person to be a good and worthwhile person worth protecting.

Like... what bothers me, is that Wyll isn't given room to express or examine anything. He isn't allowed to feel conflicted or angry. He isn't allowed to want for himself. He isn't allowed to be furious with his father or to wonder if his anger at his father (who he still loves) fuels his desire to break his pact with Mizora or if it's just treating himself like he's worth something too. It kind of feels like the narrative itself is dehumanizing Wyll by denying him room to be selfish at all, even when he really needs to be. Even when it would give room for emotional and complex scenes that could resonate.

When I've thought about what kind of romantic partner would be most interesting for Wyll imo, what struck me was it should be someone who is selfish and actually encourages his selfishness a bit. Not in a corrupting way (even if he worries it might be at times) but someone who can encourage some balance in him and vice versa. I don't think Wyll works as a narrative tool to show how nice another character already is or be their trophy boyfriend. As a character, him being imperfect I think is intrinsically important to him feeling real. And guy really does deserve to feel real, you know?

It's been weird, since Wyll approaches some of my absolute favorite themes as a character for being a hero who needs to understand not being heroic all the time is okay/heroes need protecting too sometimes. But he doesn't really do anything with them currently as far as I'm aware. That's made it harder for me to engage with him. If his romance route touches on it more like then that's awesome. But I feel like if we could see full character arcs for other companions regardless of romance, it should be doable for Wyll too.

#final fantasy xiv screenshots #Wyll Ravengard #Blade of Frontiers #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 #bgiii

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 1 - Side A

Galahad art credit @spiralstain

Propaganda below ⬇️

Junk Rat

I wish his Catholicism meant if he got killed in game it would take him 3 days to respawn

Galahad

OKAY SO . "Galahad (played by Jonny d'Ville): a travelling preacher/religious zealot who is told to sit in the Siege Seat by Merlin, and discovers the fact that Fort Galfridian is falling into the star Avalon. He sparks the quest for the GRAIL, and willingly goes to his death to overcome its final defences." DUDE SAT IN THE CHAIR THAT IS KNOWN FOR KILLING PEOPLE BECAUSE HIS CRUSH [MERLIN] [AKA HANGED MAN] [AKA DRUMBOT BRIAN] TOLD HIM TO . SORRY I THINK THATS REALLY FUNNY. he found out the whole shitshow of a spacestation he lived on was gonna fall into the sun and he went around yelling about it incomprehensibly and got fucking gunned down trying to get the GRAIL and just kept going through the gunfire because of how Religious [tm] he was . he died . in once and future king it just "galahad's blind faith" . also hellfire goes really hard . he is the definition of going insane with the knowledge of the universe . also jonny dville played him thats bonus points

There was a prophet. The prophet gave three separate people three separate instructions. 1. Stop being racist 2. Love your son 3. Sit in the Chair That Makes People Insane Galahad received number three. He was the only one who followed the instructions. He sat in the Chair That Makes People Insane, saw the sun for the first time, and immediately starts preaching about how everyone will burn in hellfire

i dont know anything about this guy i just wanna help make Kai happy please dont like not count my submission just because i dont know anythinf except for the Kills You Chair im trying my best im sorry 😭

his themesong is called hellfire and it slaps btw go listen to it. anyways he is my blorbo blingus he is Deeply unwell i could fix him but also whatever is wrong with him is incredibly fascinating to watch. a robot dude who's been hanging from the gallows since forever told him 'hey go sit in the Chair That Kills People Who Sit In It' and he was like 'I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT MY ENTIRE LIFE'. the getting-his-brain-fried thing definitely made him worse but he was also clearly kind of fucked up before that. his death is probably one of my favorite scenes in any mechs album. maybe just straight up my favorite. ahem. SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT FAITH, BUT IT CAN HAVE POWERFUL EFFECTS ON THOSE THAT HAVE IT. IT CAN KEEP YOU FROM FALTERING AS THE BULLETS START TO SLAM INTO YOU. IT CAN KEEP YOU WALKING AS YOU LEGS ARE SHOT TO BLOODY STUMPS. IT CAN KEEP YOU LAUGHING AS YOUR LUNGS ARE FILLED WITH SHRAPNEL AND LEAD. IT CAN KEEP YOU SMILING AS HALF YOUR FACE IS BLOWN AWAY. IT CAN KEEP A MAN LIKE GALAHAD STANDING TALL UNTIL THE GUNS. CLICKED. DRY. anyways go listen to high noon over camelot <3

my friends my people my... flock I HAVE HAD A VISION!! A VAST FIERY ORB FLOATIN IN AN ENDLESS VOID!! and there so small so feagile US!!! BUT FALLIN FALLIN FALLIN INTO THE FLAMES!!! your soul is connected to the world youre in youre draggin it down with the weight of your sin surrounded by temptation and y'just give in we're fallin into the flames OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HEEEEELLLLLLFIIIRE YOUR BROW BECOMES SLICK AS YOU PERSPIRE YOU THINK YOURE THIRSTY NOW WAIT TIL IT GETS DRIER AND YA FEEL THE HEAT OF THE FLAMES OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HELLFIRE YOUR SICK AND SINFUL LIES WILL BUILD A FUNERAL PYRE YOUR PERVERSION SCARS THE STATION SON ITS GONAN FRY HER AND WE ALLLLLL FALL INTO THE FLAMES... oh i have SEEN DAMNATION MY BROTHERS!! ive FELT its searing heat within my VERY BONES !!!!!!! but there is a way me be saved... "OH TELL US FATHER GALAHAD, TELL US" I HEAR YOU CRY "IS IT PIETY IS IT PURITY IS IT VIRTUE?" NO!!! ONLY WAY TO SAVE US NOW IS THE HOLY GRAIL ITSELF... HAHAHAHAHHAAAA.... WELL THAT ORB OF DAMNATION MAKES THE SUN SEEM PALE YOURE QUITE CORRECT TO QUIVER YOU ARE RIGHT TO QUAIL THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE US IS TO FIND THAT GRAIL OR WE ALL FALL INTO THE FLAMES OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HELLFIRE YOUR SKIN STARTS TO SIZZLE AS YOU EXPIRE YOU CLAIM TO BE VIRTUOUS BUT YOURE A LIAR !!!!! AND YOU FEEL THE HEAT OF THE FLAMES ... i said HEEEELLLLFIIIIRE HEEEEEEEELLLLFIRE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLFIIIIIREEE HEEEEEEELLLLLLFIIIIIIRE OF THAT FIRE THAT FIRE THAT HELLFIRE AT THE HEART OF THAT INFERNO THAT WILL NEVER TIRE IVE SEE THE END IS NIGH AND DAMNATIONS NIGHER OH WE ALL FALL INTO THE FLAMES

Ok i know this is kind of a shot in the dark because hes so obscure but i need to speak my truth. Hes so insane. The narrator calls him a “holy roller.” He has a vision which is meant to tell him that the place they live is LITERALLY going to get burnt to a crisp because its slowly falling into the sun. But hes like Oh my god i just had a vision of hell i need to save everyone from eternal damnation. And he happily gets killed and turned into a pile of slop because he believes its what he was “chosen to do” he quite literally dies for his religion. Hes also quite funny. I like him. Thank you

#junkrat #overwatch #junk rat #High Noon over Camelot #The Mechanisms #Galahad #cct polls #tumblr tournament #tumblr bracket #tumblr polls

[self-spaghettification]

aaravos & claudia analysis ™

The new S6 promotional art has to mean something for Aaravos’s connection to Claudia Season 6. There’s the connection with the short story Ripples of course and Aaravos’s manipulation of mages, but now I am wondering if Claudia will be preyed on by Aaravos after he gets out - using her loss, anger at herself and the world for her loss and being unable to save her dad - and he’ll channel it into making her a weapon against Xadia, maybe even the tragic main villain.

Taking it a step further, maybe he expected and respected Viren’s decision to die in the first place because he knew it would make Claudia spiral further and he offered to bring him back in the first place so that Claudia would 1. set in motion the steps toward his freedom and 2. trust Aaravos (and his rhetoric…) and 3. have a taste of his power to change things, which will undeniably be tempting.

I feel like Claudia and Aaravos’s outlooks have aligned in the past (ie: Claudia saying “Impassible is just another form of passible” and Aaravos saying “Yesss”) and Aaravos has had his eye on her for a long time, back to Aaravos saying “Well done. She will be a valuable asset”, having Viren lie to his kids so she wouldn’t leave Viren, and all the way back to Claudia saying it felt like the mirror put her on notice too.

Aaravos using her as a weapon against Xadia would parallel how he used Viren’s grief after Harrow’s death and anger at the Pentarchy to set Viren on a path to conquer Xadia. Viren, with reason but also spite, took Callum’s voice taunting him for being a nepo-baby, killed Avizandum, and coined Runaan. Aaravos encouraged Viren to kill the leaders of the four other countries and to kill the guards hunting him in the castle of Katolis. In comparison, Claudia has, unprovoked, almost killed a dragon just for hell of it and taunted Rayla with her parents just to not give them back (even knowing what it’s like to have a parental figure taken away.) Terry was the only thing stopping her. Terry was talking her down both times. Terry is no longer in the picture. (for Claudia, currently at least.) Who knows what she’ll do with that lack of checking and Aaravos egging her on.

She repeats rhetoric that humans deserve revenge for being treated by trash and that dragons and elves should be afraid of her, a fire that Aaravos’s guidance will only fan further. Her rhetoric has been undoubtedly shaped by both Viren’s and Aaravos’s actions, spite, and other reasoning.

carrying the same prejudices and likes as her father, “Look dad, I’m following in your footsteps!” + “Aaravos can change things!” to Soren. + the fever dream metaphor that Claudia goes dangerously further than Viren, stops listening to him, (foreshadowing for future conversations where Viren and Soren plead with Claudia to stop) and gets swallowed up in something she could never predict, something much larger than herself.

Endgame? Well. Claudia has a lot of parallels to Ziard, and we see how that ended… also, that’s a scene in S3. So if S6 does parallel S3… well. It doesn’t end well for her.

(Repeated water motifs)

Claudia currently feels like she’s lost everything. Her mom, her brother, her strength… she prided herself on that but she wasn’t strong enough to beat the Dragang and so she wasn’t strong enough to save her dad. She believes she’ll keep losing and so she cuts herself off from Terry to avoid losing that too.

Key: She is in her darkest place thus far, similar to Viren when he had lost everything and was desperate enough to make a blood pact with a strange elf in the mirror. And what if, once again, that strange elf was there to help the most desperate? If Claudia is made to believe she’s strong enough again, with the aid of a little magic, if she’s given that validation and care again, she can do anything. It would parallel the Reflections story ‘Lost Child’:

If she’s strong enough, and her faith is restored, no one will ever leave her again. They’ll come to understand.

Again it was how she was taught. “I’ll do anything for our family, Dad. Whatever it takes, however dangerous, however vile.” and it’s going to lead to her shaping into a more vindictive villain and to her doom.

#aaravos #claudia #tdp meta #tdp s6 spoilers #self spaghettification #claudia & aaravos #tdp analysis #starlight

[gulnarsultan]

Hmm 🤔

What about Yandere Visenya, Aegon The Conqueror and Rhaenys x Modern Reader? What if Modern Reader met them and knew about them, because Modern Reader spent time with Daenys The Dreamer and promised her to keep an eye on her family? Just a thought.

Can you write yandere platonic headcanons for Conquerors and Modern Reader?

The reader somehow goes back in time. Most likely Daenys had already seen the reader's vision of the future. And he knew what was to come to the Targaryen household. After meeting the reader, they become friends. Daenys makes a request to the reader. She wants the Targaryen household to prevent what is to come. She promises her reader friend that she will save the Targaryen house. Moreover, I think the reader has talents. For example, all dragons love and listen to your reader. Dragons as well as all animals love your reader. The reader is skilled in plants and medicinal subjects. Moreover, she knows how to use self-defense, horseback riding, swords and other weapons. She is also well educated in history and politics. The reader somehow skips time again. This time it comes to the period of three conqueror. Moreover, the Targaryens knew the reader's future, because Daenys had written books about the reader. She informed her reader that she was the savior and faithful friend of the Targaryen household. Visenya, Aegon and Rhaenys are very happy and excited when they meet the reader. Moreover, they have already begun to develop unhealthy feelings towards the reader. The stories they have heard since their childhood have kindled a fire that will never end in them. Conquerors does not allow the reader to leave the Castle. The reader is always accompanied by a Targaryen or guard. They never cease to bring love and attention to the reader. They compete for readership. They spoil the reader financially. They are protective and possessive towards the reader. They will even try to have a child with the reader if possible.

#yandere game of thrones #yandere got #house of targaryen #house targaryen #yandere targaryen #yandere aegon i targaryen x reader #yandere aegon i targaryen #yandere aegon the conqueror #yandere visenya i targaryen x reader #yandere visenya targaryen #visenya the conqueror #aegon i targaryen x reader #aegon the conqueror x reader #rhaenys the conqueror #yandere rhaenys i targaryen #yandere rhaenys targaryen #yandere rhaenys i targaryen x reader

[petit-papillion]

there's a lot of misinformation going around as far as lewis' signing goes. there's a few things i know/have heard from legitimate sources. from people who know their shit and how ferrari operates.

it was decided pretty early on that sainz might be replaced. uhh beginning of the season, early. vasseur noticed certain things and patterns which raised some alarm bells.

there were a few replacements lined up, sainz was third or fourth on the list, allegedly.

they had given sainz contract proposals, he refused to sign. rather whoever was negotiating on his behalf would more often than not fuck up the negotiations.

charles was, without a doubt, consulted. they don't need to consult him with regards to the second seat, not really. but ferrari *has* been building itself around charles. especially under fred. and charles was *very* receptive of the idea. as someone on twitter said earlier, people think he's stupid but he's just crazy lmao

charles signed the contract fully knowing that lewis might come on board. he was not at all blindsided. this isn't Binotto's ferrari where they backstab willy nilly. honesty is valued here.

both of them knew what they're stepping into :)

Hi Anon! (Saw your other ask as well - will post it separately)

Definitely a lot of misinformation, but also some really sour Carlos and Mercedes fans. I can understand this is a tough pill to swallow for some, but if you look at it objectively (yeah, I know, hard for me as a Charles-fan as well), the writing was on the wall for a long time.

Charles expressing how he had faith in Fred and the project. Willing to play second fiddle for the team in Singapore so Fred could bring home a win. Fred calling out Carlos when he was talking BS in post-race media pen.

Rumors swirling about Charles having signed his contract. Charles being completely unbothered about contract renewal was a sharp contrast against Carlos stressing that he wanted his future with Ferrari sorted before 2024.

Estrella Galica, Carlos's sponsor, leaving Ferrari. Monster Energy leaving Mercedes, but keeping their sponsorship with Lewis. (Which reminds me of a post in my drafts that I made before the Lewis to Ferrari bomb dropped. Related to new sponsor Peroni. Will post later)

And rumors about Lewis moving to Ferrari as early as May last year. More interactions between Charles and Lewis, including their famous joint DSQ post - could also have been to test the waters and see how they got along / how people responded to them together.

Mercedes giving Lewis the Bottas treatment of a 1-year contract leaving the door wide open for him to look elsewhere. Lewis complaining (a lot) about not being listened to regarding changes to the car.

And let's face it, if you had the opportunity to snap up a 7x wdc with a huge following, great sponsorships, and a massive potential for merchandising, all aside from being an outstanding driver who your homegrown future champion can learn from, you'd be an absolute idiot not to go for it.

As for Charles not being on board with this: not buying it for a second. Will elaborate more another time.

#anon ask 1 #charles leclerc #lewis hamilton #lewis to ferrari #silly season 2024

[phoebeejeebies]

lucky domingo headcanons

If lucky has a million fans, then I am one of them. If lucky has ten fans, then I am one of them. If lucky has only one fan then that is me. If lucky has no fans, I am dead.

she loves the beach. she was born in summerville, Oklahoma but she has family who live by the sea. and she Loves it. there's nothing that speaks more "home" to her than the beach. she has so many fond memories of making sand castles and swimming in the ocean

nonbinary lesbian, uses they/she/star pronouns

has a butch lesbian boyfriend who uses he/him, theyve been seeing each other since lucky was 17, and "officially" dating since 18 - Lucky's dad wasn't fond of his daughter dating until they were an adult at least.

Their dad is strict and a little overprotective, but loves Lucky dearly. Father's daughter archtype.

enjoys marine biology like it's her secret guilty pleasure. she's been fascinated with sea creatures ever since she was a little child

also loves engineering and chemistry. she's a stem girly trust me trust me

instagram enjoyer! snapchat hater! has a secret twitter page where they rant about things that piss them off. pinterest LOVER. has boards for everything, planned futures, houses, furniture, clothing, just general vibes, pretty colours.

i just know star loved icarly and victorious. star loves karaoke. definitely loved hannah montana also.

has a stick n poke tattoo they did themselves on their ankle. its small enough that her family doesnt notice. but it makes her smile every time.

dog person. likes dogs. grew up with dogs. especially big dogs the big fluffy dogs. big fan of dogs.

makes "that's what she/he said" jokes. only trevor finds it funny. podcast WOULD find them funny if he understood them, phoebe find them annoying and tasteless. (she also thinks her jokes are funnier. and make more sense.)

confident in her own abilities. she knows she's the shit. hates not getting taken seriously.

actually becomes really good friends with lars. they work together a lot, especially as they're an intern, and lars puts good faith in lucky. they seem to get it, and are on a similar wavelength, so lars trusts them. they're competent. he likes that. they're a useful asset to their team. and a good friend to talk to even after work

makes spotify playlists for every single specific situation, only to not play them ever. just listens to the spotify generated mixes instead.

keeps tabs on all the ghostbusters. half because she's nosy and curious, half because she wants to make sure everyone is okay

won't admit it to his face but trevor is one of their closest friends. no one gets ghostbusting the way he does. they liked their friends in summerville but they were mostly surface-level relationships, friends for the sake of company in a dead-end town.

will never stop teasing trevor for having a crush on them when they first met. lucky finds this endearing and a little funny. trevor, at first, is a bit embarrassed but he laughs about it now too. they're very good friends.

is an only child (but has a really big extended family). treats phoebe like stars little sister. phoebe goes to lucky for intimate advice that she feels trevor wouldn't understand. he's a little brash with feelings, even though he means well and that pisses phoebe off sometimes.

has a love hate relationship with NYC. would rather be by the ocean.

her favourite colour is purple

andddd scene.

#lucky domingo #lucky ghostbusters #lucky domingo hcs #lucky domingo headcanons #ghostbusters #ghostbusters headcanons #ghostbusters afterlife #ghostbusters frozen empire #ghostbusters hcs #ghostbusting #mangobango #i spent my day writing these while i did my work. just to pass the time

[fwob]

CAN I PLEASEE PLZ PLS GET UR FIC RECS DUDE (can i also rec one; poly philtatos (the most loved by far)

anything for you anon <3 sorry for taking . checks watch . two days .

under the cut cuz i have . A Few

PROJECT: ICARUS - aka the fic thats been absolutely rotting my brain for the past week . luffy dies at marineford except actually just kidding hes still alive but hes a marine pacifista / seraphim / human weapon now . oops ! please read it its so good the first 2 chapters are fucking BRUTAL

put your faith in what you most believe in - luffy gets sick . sabo's understandably worried . this ones a top contender for my fav op fic . i think abt this one CONSTANTLY

literally every taizi fic . yes all of them . i have read every single op fic theyve published . they're all bangers . no exceptions . but i will specifically recommend the previous fic , as well as this one , this one , this one , this one , and this one

wish by spirit and if by yes - sabo visits the whitebeards on revolutionary business . also a top contender for my fav op fic . i REALLY love this one the dynamic is SO good

i know you by the state of your hands - time travel shenanigans

breathe - luffy has a nightmare and an ensuing panic attack and law calms him down . they chat . VERY good i really like this one . the sequel is also good its linked on the fic

asl in red - this whole series is insane . it starts as like "shanks adopts ASL !!!" and then it just goes completely off the rails . like god whats going on . its great tho

ache in the rain (and remember the wounds) - luffy sees ghosts !

luffy's law - i dont know whats really going on in this fic but i fuck with it . will be incorporating multiple things from this fic into any modern au i make in the future

whatever you can still betray - ace has GOT to be a marine spy because nothing he says makes any fucking sense . i really love this one its so fun

finally i get to choose what's wrong (and what is right) - listen . 90% of the time i am FIRMLY against genderbending one character and nobody else . but like . im a fan of this one . also makino has a gun

si c'est un âme - your soulmate's first words to you are written on your body . luffy has 9 phrases on his back . i AM in fact a platonic soulmate enjoyer

blood song - post thriller bark zolu ...... ough

on brotherhood - ageswap , luffy is the older brother

code of misconduct - there's a set of written rules on the thousand sunny . VERY silly fic . very fun

hey, let's get lost (along the way) - luffy , ace , nami , and vivi get lost in alabasta . shenanigans ensue

i can't be selfless - garp invites aokiji to dawn island to help convince luffy to be a marine

god's emperor - shanks meets a young god . this was before 1044 actually like damn girl ur ON that shit

how it should have healed - the aftermath of some of luffy's various injuries

seven deadly sins - trafalgar law's new apartment is haunted by exactly seven (7) ghosts

chasing the remnants - sabo accompanies dragon to loguetown

little monsters - usopp and sanji get captured by marines

of dawn and dreams - i could not tell you what this series is about but its mostly shanks and buggy . its good tho

don't bury me with gold - WORLD NOBLE SABO ....... oughhh this one is so good . i think abt it a lot

sun over the horizon - luffy gives his crew some much-needed affection after a battle

take a step in mine - on their way out of marineford , luffy collapses a little bit earlier . it changes some things

spin a yarn - time travel shenanigans . this whole series makes me completely and utterly insane . read it now

over the course of a day - worlds worst roadtrip

greatest gift of all - luffy is 10 years younger than his brothers

two and a half pirates - luffy is 16 years younger than his brothers

unsinkable - the ocean is luffy's mother . ive seen like 3 different fics with this concept but this one is my favourite

three years, give or take - time travel shenanigans , except it's ace this time

hide the knives - after ace joins the whitebeards , shanks drops by for a party

beginning the next dream - time travel shenanigans . there's a reason it's the most kudosed op fic

make a choice (turncoat hero) - garp accidentally becomes a pirate . whoops !

boy with a scar - luffy vanishes after sabo dies and shows up 4 years later with a slave brand . what kind of man would i be if i didnt include boy with a scar . i love this one a lot

in which higuma doesn't get drunk, even though he really, really wants to - time travel shenanigans

sunflowers - genderfluid luffy ....... god i love transgenderism

pain scale - luffy gets injured and nobody realizes for a while , himself included

sibling sympathies - ace and nami have a chat in alabasta

small changes - id summarize this one but tbh i dont super remember what happens in this one i just remember rlly liking it . its a cora lives au i know that . read it anyways

too bright to see - lusan ..............

i'll keep the king (i'll keep him safe) - EXCEPTIONALLY good luffy whump . very good

of scissors and combs - luffy gets a haircut

and heres four gear fifth fics that i like. id summarize them all but i dont really want to so like . just trust me on this one . read em

also thanks for the rec !! ive been meaning to read that one for weeks thanks for giving me an excuse to finally do it . here's the link for anyone who hasn't read it which you should because it's VERY good

#was literally fighting for my life to post this #was gonna post it this morning but then it fucking deleted half of them so i had to wait til i got home to fix it #and then i fixed it and then it did it AGAIN #anyways godbless i went thru literally all of my bookmarks for this #ace speaks #ask #save #<- so i dont lose it later hopefully

[persephoneflouwers]

Lucky Again

I spent the last few days thinking about this song quite a lot. I haven’t paid much attention to it at first, probably the excitement felt a bit mitigated by the fact we knew the song already, but I’ve been binge listening to the album for a month now and every week it’s a new week obsessing with a different song, so now it’s Lucky Again turn. I haven’t read many analysis or opinions lately, because I’ve been pretty busy, so I’m sorry if this is something someone already wrote about or if it doesn’t really make sense. It does make sense in my head tho, so I’ll hope I can articulate my thoughts well enough to convey the message lol.

I think Lucky Again is a very comforting song, more like self-comforting. It is a love song, but to himself. And since when I started reading at it like this… Lucky Again has been hurting more than any other song in the album. Yeah, I said that about All this time too but yall know what I mean lol. They are very very very personal songs. Louis is so good at writing about himself and being so open to fucking stub your heart with a single word, but sometimes it goes a bit unheard. Not here tho, not here.

Anyway. Let’s start!

You give and give until it's gone away, Just tell yourself you've got another day

Starting with a bang. I usually read deeper than necessary but the incipit feels a bit tough, doesn’t it? He’s saying life can get consuming. It consumes you, your time, your energies, sometimes your feelings. You give and give until everything is gone and you go though your day by inertia, one day after the other.

You've lived that life, you just don't see it yet

Truth been spoken. When you are in your darkest place, it’s hard to appreciate what you have and usually you miss it when it’s gone (oh wait! Maybe you don't know what's lost 'til you find it 🎶)

I see how hard you've worked to be yourself

When I tell you I sobbed the first time this line clicked in my brain. Just imagine Louis saying this to himself… argh! I don’t know how to react. It’s like absolutely amazing he appreciates and values how much he has grown as a person and how many steps forward he has taken and how rough some times were. It’s amazing to see him acknowledging he came out of his own dark places or at least he has tried. I was wondering what Louis meant when he said in some interviews he doesn’t like when people pity him, and I see why. There’s nothing to pity here, it’s just congratulations for how strong and tough he is. Hard work always always pays off.

If you believe that guy is Superman, They're selling tickets at the cinema

The interpretations of this line are potentially endless, but it always hit me for how real it is. It spoke to me like the best way to say ‘it’s bullshit, but you do you’. It’s a recurrent concept in FITF, the disillusionment and the concreteness of reality. He’s not a dreamer in this album, always very optimistic, positive, mature but never not pragmatic. He sounds jealous at some point, like one of those things you say to your partner when they make a comment about somebody else, right? But it’s the way he sets this in a specific direction, he sets the tone with two words: superMAN and cinema. So it feels to me like he is talking about a famous person who usually gets idolised, and by extent fame, popularity in general. I am not a teacher, but I would say this is a rhetoric figure called Synecdoche and I absolutely adore it! So does Louis, by the way. The choice of words is interesting and telling. He’s using believe as something a bit negative here. That’s ironic for an abum called FAITH in the future, isn’t it? But it’s his way apparently. He wants to create a paradox, a contrast and it’s clear since the cover of the album, since it doesn’t strike as a faithful cover to me lmao

Whatever gets you through the darkest night, Just find the light, Out in the madness, hold tight

Now that I’m writing about it, every line in this song feels like a ring of a chain and everyone references the other like it’s 🤯. Sometimes when I listen to songs I imagine how the singer would speak to someone else. For this part, I clearly see future Louis talking to present Louis and that applies to any other timeline, it’s an inception of Louis talking to himself basically. He’s encouraging to keep going no matter what (whatever gets you).

Through the night… isn’t it a-m-a-z-i-n-g how consistent this theme is in Louis songs? He’s been singing Through the dark for months and look at her, coming back in disguise! Self references are hot, but this one gets the cake. Is he by any chance saying «whatever gets you through the night… we will find a way through the dark» etc etc? Love it. 10/10.

'Cause I'm a hard man to lose

This has always felt a bit… weird. Like imagine you go “im hard man to lose” in a song where you are basically saying you are happy you’re together again or something. It feels… arrogant? A bit? And honestly that’s not a ‘songwriter Louis’ move. I just don’t see it. And I know, it’s always about the layers with him, but what if it’s literal this time? What if he is saying “I am not the one gives up, I am not the one losing”? After all, he’s been pretty open here about how hard he worked, he has just said he has to hold tightly.

But I figured it out then made my way back To a life I would choose

He settled it for me in this line. He is not one to lose, that’s how he went back to the life he chose and he says it as proudly as he can because the thing is… it doesn’t matter how crazy it is (the madness and all that) but he would do it again. Despite all the shit, he would do it again. You can take it as a nod to his relationship of course. He changes the line second time with ‘I'm a hard man to find, but you figured it out and I love you for that’, almost pushing for a love story interpretation. But to me it feels more like he is talking about second chances, specifically in his life and work opportunities . The life I would choose part screams career to me and hits you in the face pretty hard if you think of how many obstacles he has been going through since the start of his solo career and even before during the band.

We were lucky once, I could be lucky again

He’s been using only you/I form til here. Now, I know this we can be misleading. It’s very natural to conceive a we as an us, like two people in a relationship or something, but see… that’s very Louis lol. He writes songs like stories and here he’s storytelling. Sometimes it even feels like a plurale maiestatis! I use it an embarrassing amount of time especially for non-formal conversations, and probably this is my bias of interpretation since English is not my first language but it’s curious the way he switches from a We (in past form), to I (possible future form). That’s why I think the we is used only to help with the story he’s writing about, the past he’s recalling while writing the song.

Before the world had got so serious, Before the time it got away from us

Layers againnnnn! Is this about his past maybe in the band or before that? Is this about… I don’t know, the pandemic? The world got pretty serious in 2020 didn’t it? And stunt-wise things haven’t been looking pretty bright since the second half of 2020 so… yeah. But actually I consider this a description of more innocent times. He seems nostalgic of. Still… he doesn’t seem to be willing to go back then again. He misses simple times, but has faith the future would make him feel lucky again.

It got away from us… is so strong. It’s powerful the way he never really blames anyone for the bad or the wrong. It’s just that time goes away. Very Heraclitus of him with the panta rei and all (an usual recurrent theme in Louis songwriting) and very it is what it is too. He’s very coherent in his songs, I love it.

I meet you at the favorite subway stop, We grab some food then meet the lads for one

Storytelling king strikes again. He’s so good in describing moments from the past. Like Saturdays is a song born entirely from past memories, so I really shouldn’t be surprised he does it in Lucky too, but still! Look, lines like this are seriously meant to paint a scenario in your head and he does it so well. Meet, eat and smoke with friends like a Netflix and chill ante litteram. It’s so straightforward. 11/10.

Look back on a time, I was lucky once, I could be lucky again

I love love LOOOVE the way he uses look back on a time, because he really kinda confirms how all he just did was recalling moments from a past life through lyrical narration.

What a gem of a song.

Also special mention to The unfiltered version of Lucky again with the “I’m lucky/I’m in love” whatever the fuck you meant by that, Louis, that was pretty sick and it should have survived the final revisions.

#lucky again supremacy #lucky again lyrics #all of them are just lyrical gems for me #lyrics analysis #fitf lyrics

[livsoulsecrets]

Fire/Dynamite Fic - You saw me start to believe for the first time

Summary:

An alternative take at Fire and Dynamite’s relationship after the end of episode 7: Fire goes after Dy sooner.

“When he woke up half naked only to find out he had made a complete fool out of himself – in Dy’s own words, he lashed out. He lied and denied everything because that was all he ever learned to do with his own feelings.

And the worst of it was that Dynamite listened.”

Read on AO3.

-

Fire was used to being told what to do.

The first clear memory he had of his childhood was of his fifth birthday.

His mother had picked the cake flavor, the decorations, and the balloons. He had asked for a Spider-Man figurine as a gift, but she had waved it off as silly. Fire had begged her time after time to invite over his friends from school, but only family members were in attendance.

Kids make too much of a mess, she told him in a condescending tone. All he had heard was that he was too much of a mess for his opinion to mean anything at all.

His whole life felt like a replay of that faithful birthday party.

His mom chose which sports he’d play in high school and who he was allowed to be friends with. She decided he’d go to med school and that he needed to live at home for the first few years.

His mother had already settled his future many years ago, even before he was born. He’d grow up to be a respectable doctor, marry a respectable woman, and have some respectable kids that would visit their grandmother every Sunday.

Half the time, he could convince himself it was for the better, that this made-up version of him was worth much more than whatever lay beneath it all.

The other half, he didn’t even know if there was a difference between the two.

The one thing Fire felt he was actually good at was lying.

He had perfected it like an art over the years. At thirteen, he had plotted a fake study meeting at his best friend’s house so he could attend his birthday party without his mom obsessing over every detail. At sixteen, he knew how to tell when his mother was in deep sleep, so he could sneak out to see his friends. At eighteen, he had learned to climb through his bedroom window in order not to get caught.

All that effort just to steal away moments of freedom was draining, but Fire could handle it most of the time. He had even grown comfortable in it, protected underneath all the walls he built.

It had been better when he got into college, put some distance between him and his mother’s control, and met Metha and Ten. He thought it would only get easier. There would always be the shadow of his family’s expectations hanging over his life, but he’d have some room to breathe. He’d graduate, have his own money, get married, build a family, maybe even have kids that weren’t terrified of him.

Fire held on to that plan with all he had, and it seemed perfect on paper. Med school was on that plan, girls like Jane and friends like Ten and Metha were as well.

Dynamite wasn’t.

For he was neither a girl nor respectable.

Dynamite was impulsive and inappropriate, genuine and hilarious. He drove Fire mad with his flirting and innuendos and his refusal to be anything other than himself.

It was no surprise he couldn’t stand him at first. Dynamite was free in all the ways Fire could only ever dream of being. He lived on his own, he laughed as loud as he pleased and befriended whoever he wanted to. He was smart underneath his nonchalant demeanor, but he was also intelligent in the traditional way – he wouldn’t have skipped a year in school otherwise.

For the love of him, Fire couldn’t tell when annoyance had shifted into curiosity and interest, and then, so God help him, fondness.

Metha saw it, and so did Jane. Dynamite himself seemed to know, but Fire was a creature of habit.

When he woke up half naked only to find out he had made a complete fool out of himself – in Dy’s own words, he lashed out. He lied and denied everything because that was all he ever learned to do with his own feelings.

And the worst of it was that Dynamite listened.

He disappeared completely from Fire’s life. He couldn’t even steal glances at him anymore. It was like Dy had never existed at all, like they had never met, and their lives had never intertwined.

Fire was always good at lying, yes, but he had never come so close to something true, only to give it up. It proved more painful this time, more than any other.

He had tried to put it into words when Mehta cornered him to ask why he was so miserable, but nothing Fire said made sense.

There was only one way to put an end to his misery. He needed to see Dy again. He needed to-

Tell him the truth? Which version of it? Did Fire himself even know what that was?

The questions remained unanswered for the days it took Fire to track Dynamite down on their campus.

Fire learned his schedule after enlisting Metha’s help in following Dy around. He was not proud of himself for the breach of privacy, but he figured Dy of all people would understand his desperation.

That was how he found himself lurking behind a potted fern as Dy said goodbye to his classmates in front of the culinary’s faculty.

The irony was not lost on him: after the lengths he went to in order to get rid of Dy’s lurking, there he was, relented to the same position, desperate to catch Dy’s eye.

There was no time to hesitate, though. When Dy walked away from his friends to enter the building, Fire forced himself to leave his hiding spot to follow him.

Dy navigated through the halls with ease, his fingers tapping against his leg and his face relaxed. When he turned right and entered a desert hallway, Fire seized his chance.

He exhaled deeply and rushed closer to him.

“Dynamite,” he called out.

The boy turned around, his face paling considerably when his eyes landed on Fire.

“Can we talk, please?”

Dynamite remained still for long seconds – that Fire could have sworn stretched into hours.

Then he had the audacity to laugh. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Fire flinched. “Please, I just need to-”

“Oh, you need something? So, I just drop everything and rush to help?” Dy echoed, his tone vicious. “You know what, Fire? I’m done here.”

Dynamite turned on his heels and began to walk away.

Overcome by some instinct he couldn’t possibly name, Fire rushed forward and blocked his way.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he spat out before the courage slipped away from him. “I know you didn’t lie that day. I said and did all those things. I called you there. I asked you to stay.”

Dy’s face was bright red when he replied, “I know that, dumbass. I was there. You were the one in denial. Is that all? Can you let me go now?”

Fire shook his head immediately. “No. It’s not just that.”

Dy rolled his eyes, none of his usual nonchalance present now. “I’m sure you have better things to do than talking to me. Why don’t you go back to Jane and leave me alone?”

“What does Jane have to do with this?” Fire nearly screamed. He was too frustrated now to be reasonable.

“She’s your girlfriend, for fuck’s sake!” Dy jabbed at his chest in fury, and his other hand tightened around his backpack’s strap.

“She’s not!” Fire denied, grabbing his hand, “We’re not back together.”

That gave Dynamite pause. “What? I saw you in the market and…”

“We’re just friends,” Fire interrupted, “not even that anymore, I think. Her girlfriend doesn’t like it.”

Dy’s eyebrows shot up so high it would have been comical in any other situation. “Jane has a girlfriend?”

“That’s not important right now,” Fire exasperated.

“It sounds pretty important to me,” Dynamite fired back.

“I’m not here to talk about Jane,” he laced his fingers around Dy’s wrist, praying to whatever God was listening that he didn’t ruin everything again.

“What are you here to talk about, then?” The annoyance hadn’t left his tone yet, but Fire had to trample down the treacherous hope blooming inside his chest at the fondness he heard mixed with it.

“I’m here to tell you that…” he started, suddenly distracted by the softness of Dy’s skin under his fingers and the shape of his mouth as it moved around his words. He swallowed dryly. “I meant what I said that night. I didn’t want you to look away from me in the market. I didn’t want you to ignore me, even when I asked you to leave me alone.”

Dy’s jaw clenched. “Is this some ego boost to you? Jane dumped you, so now you want me to keep chasing you so you can feel better?”

He retreated his wrist with a hard pull, but Fire didn’t let him go far.

“That’s not it!”

“Then, what the hell is it?” Dy shouted back, and Fire saw tears welling up in his eyes.

It all came to him rather quickly after that.

He realized that hurting Dy felt a hundred times worse than disappointing his mother or abandoning her plans for him.

Being a good son would mean turning his back on Dynamite and the fire he ignited within him.

He had been good for so long. Right now, he just wanted to be honest.

Resolve settled deep in his heart. He’d tell Dy all he had kept secured before. He’d bare his soul for him and allow Dynamite to judge whether it was worth his time or not.

There was no one telling him what to do now. It was terrifying, but Fire pushed through the paralyzing fear to try and fix what he had broken.

“I want you to care. I want you to care about what I’m doing and who I’m doing it with. I want you to drive me crazy with your questions and your rambling.”

He gulped some air, stilling himself for how irreversible that moment would be.

“I want you, Dy,” he murmured. “I just want you.”

He grabbed Dynamite’s face with both hands and kissed him.

It was nothing like those passion-filled kisses he saw in movies. He was pretty sure he had knocked his nose too hard against Dy’s. There were not butterflies in his stomach, just a sureness spreading through his body that Fire had never felt before.

He had barely processed that knowledge when the magnitude of that situation dawned on him. Fire pulled away just as quickly as he had pulled Dy into him.

“Sorry! I shouldn’t have just kissed you like that. I didn’t even ask you. I spent so many days thinking of what I was going to say, and I fucked everything up,” he rambled, desperate. He backed himself into the opposite wall from where Dy stood.

Dy hadn’t moved yet, and he was eerily quiet – both features that didn’t fit him at all. He brought two fingers to touch his lips and stared at Fire in disbelief.

“Did you mean it?”

Dy’s voice was small and contained, with just a hint of hope that fired up his insides.

“All of it,” Fire confirmed, biting into his lip to stop himself from moving towards Dy again.

It had to come from him this time.

He had to make the call. Fire needed to know if Dy was willing to put up with his messes. He wouldn’t force it upon him, not again.

Dynamite dropped his backpack to the floor and rushed forward. Fire felt his feet moving of their own accord and they met somewhere in the middle.

Dynamite threw his arms around Fire’s neck and kissed him properly. He had to lace an arm around Dy’s waist so his knees didn’t give in. He was lucky there was a wall under his back, or Fire was sure he’d have made an even bigger fool out of himself.

He ran his other hand through Dynamite’s hair, mesmerized by the softness of the strands. Late at night, when he was already in bed, he had allowed himself to wonder what this would feel like.

His imagination had nothing on the real thing, though. When Fire scrapped his nails against Dy’s scalp, the other boy whimpered against his mouth.

“You’re so beautiful,” the words spilled out, unrelenting in their honesty after so many months of denial.

Dy’s ears burned red, and he hid his face in Fire’s neck. “Shut up.”

“You really are. You sound so-”

Dynamite pressed a kiss on his neck, and his mind forgot any words he had been about to say. He had to place all his focus on getting his mouth to work again.

“I need you to know,” he tried again, determined to ensure Dy believed him completely.

This time, the menace bit into his collarbone. “Dynamite,” he mumbled, trying to reprimand him, but his voice sounded pleading, and his back arched involuntarily.

Dy lifted his face from his hideout, smiling the troublemaker grin that had haunted Fire’s mind for days after his failed date with Jane.

“I believe you, moron.”

“You do?” Fire exhaled in relief, resting his forehead against Dy’s.

He kissed Fire in lieu of an answer – a quick brush of their lips against each other – but it was enough to allow all the tension of the last few days to leave Fire’s body.

“I’m really sorry,” he said again.

“I know,” Dy answered, still smiling broadly, “but I forgive you. Better late than never, huh?”

He chuckled, and Fire watched in awe. “I thought I was too late.”

“You were just in time, Firefy,” Dy laughed, caressing his cheek with his knuckles.

Fire brought Dy’s hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to it.

Dy tilted his head and frowned. “Actually, how did you know where to find me?”

Fire released his hand very slowly and tried to search his brain for a reasonable answer. “I was just walking by,” he said, but the sentence sounded too much like a question, even to his own ears.

Dy lifted an eyebrow and said, “Really? So far away from the Med school building? Exactly when I had just finished a lecture?”

“Yes?” He tried again.

“Fire,” Dy bent forward, which only made Fire more nervous. “Did you follow me?”

“No!” He denied away too quickly, and Dynamite let out a victorious screech.

“You totally did!”

His shoulders slumped down in defeat. “Maybe a little?”

“I can’t believe it!” Dy exclaimed, far too entertained by his despair. “All that talk about privacy and boundaries, only for you to do the same.”

“I was desperate, okay? I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

“I know the feeling.” Dy wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Fire groaned and shoved Dy playfully on the shoulder. It only made him laugh harder.

“You’re so annoying!”

“Yes,” Dy agreed, “and you like it.”

All the fight flew from his body. He traced the curve of Dynamite’s chin with the tips of his fingers and said, “I like you.”

Dy pressed a kiss to the back of his hand. “I like you too.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long to admit it. I was so scared,” said Fire.

He feared he’d find more hurt in Dy’s gaze when he said those words, but there was just openness and understanding mirrored in his eyes.

“It’s hard to explain, but I’m not used to feeling so much. I can handle lying to my mom when I sneak out for a party or a date. I’m good at finding time for my friends and to play tennis.”

For the first time since he laid eyes on Dy this morning, Fire felt like he actually knew what he was doing. The words kept pouring out of his mouth, but now he knew they were truthful. There was no risk of saying the wrong thing because this was for Dynamite’s ears only.

He had said and done much worse, and yet he was only ever met with Dynamite’s honesty and kindness in return.

“I’m not good at wanting things too badly. Or fighting for them. It was so easy before,” he confessed, and the sight of Dy was a canvas of possibilities he had never dared to paint before.

“It was so easy before I met you. I didn’t know what to do with what you made me feel, so I pushed it away.”

Dy’s hand found its way to his neck, landing there as a comforting weight.

“And why did you change your mind?”

“You know why.”

“I want to hear it,” Dy insisted, titling his chin up.

Fire relented, “I missed you too much.”

Dy smiled, satisfied. “It’s okay. We’ll talk more later, but we’re fine. Just hold me, will you?”

He was nodding before Dy finished talking. He pulled him against his chest and kissed the top of his head.

“You can want things for yourself, Firefy. You deserve it,” Dy told him.

And Fire finally believed in it.

#firedynamite #cooking crush #cooking crush the series #fire x dynamite #my fics #Thai bl #Thai bl series #Thai bl fic #firedynamite fic

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

Sorry to mention ***** but I think it's worth noting that The Show debuted in the UK with 14k less sales than Faith in the Future.

I think The Show did much better that FITF in the United States, which tells me a few things.

1. Playlisting on Spotify is incredibly important to artists’ charting— and breaking through to the general public— in the United States. The USA sets the international standard for “what is popular,” so it’s very important to have a hit here. Harry could not have become the popular artist he is today without Watermelon Sugar becoming the pandemic pop hit that it was, and it was achieved with relentless playlisting and many iterations of physical copies being sold. The 2020 competition (Lady Gaga, Dua Lipa) were very good, but Harry’s team simply wore them down with payola. This formula is what Niall’s team is following, although obviously the amount of money invested and recouped is much less.

2. Playlisting only goes so far with the UK, as Official Charts limits individual Spotify streams of a song to 10/ discrete account/ day. It can be circumvented with multiple discrete accounts and overwhelming blanketing of radio plays, as well as multiple iterations of a physical album (Louis’ team did this at the last minute with the digital FITF exclusive on release week, which Larrie UAs subverted by posting all songs online as soon as they were available). You can see why being blacklisted on UK radio is death to charting. No radio = no physical or digital album purchases, and the reverse is also true. People won’t buy what they’ve never heard before. A lack of live exposure to the general public— festivals— compounds the problem further. Niall has all of these bases covered: streaming, radio (he just did a BBC radio festival and live lounge), several physical versions of the new album, festivals.

3. After a while, reputation becomes fact. Popularity evokes the feeling that an artist deserves to be popular; popularity begets more popularity. Obscurity evokes the opposite. Most of the listening public (hell, most of their fans) do not care how the sausage is made, but they don’t want to follow an unpopular artist, especially one who might have a stigma.

4. Louis’ fans went all out for him in the UK, but the cold slap in the face to fans from his BMG team (in this interview) was sobering. His numbers came from loyal fans buying dozens of albums in order to beat Bruce Springsteen— a gargantuan task. Niall did not have anywhere near the same competition in the UK. Would fans have done the same for Niall? I guess we’ll never know.

5. It’s safe to say that Niall’s career is much more “normal” than Louis’. Niall benefits from being “not the competition” to Harry Styles, but a middle-of-the-road surviving member of 1D. Industry allows him a career because it wants to.

#louis tomlinson #niall horan #the show

[lorkai]

Hello! I have a one-shot request if you don't mind, do feel free to ignore this if requests are closed but could you do one-shot about a GN mc who was betrayed by their "best friend" ? Or they found out they were fake and were using them.

It actually just happened to me and wanted some comfort,, that's all.

Thank you

Stay and eat well, and take your time

Bye!

✧*。 A/N: It's a really horrible situation when you're betrayed by a friend and I'm sorry for you, honey. I hope you make good friends in the future and that you can get through it all. I wanted to write this request when you sent it, but I got stuck in a scene and felt like some scenes got too, uh, superficial maybe??? Still I hope it comforts you somehow :)

✧*。Warnings: Angst, Hurt/comfort, I proofread but it's always possible that some spelling mistake goes unnoticed.

The absolute silence was only broken by the heavy sobs that escaped your throat, thick tears running down your eyes like a waterfall as you rocked back and forth, trying hard to forget everything that happened today. The treetops were tall and dense enough that moonlight was unable to penetrate the woods you took refuge in, and even if darkness began to surround you everywhere and you needed to use your D.D.D, you would rather remain in the dark with the strange animals than deal with your troubled feelings right now.

You really should start noticing the signs of a bad day. Your late alarm was just the first of the signs, followed by Beel eating all your breakfast and you forgetting your homework on the study table and having to listen to your teacher's lecture in front of the entire class. But there was a saying where you come from and it said, “If things are bad now, they might get worse later.”

    Only you didn't expect them to get worse this way.

You prided yourself on knowing that you were a good friend to the people around you, you always listened and helped them, made them laugh with your awkward jokes or stories you heard and read. The thing was, when you make a friend, you put your hand on fire for them, your loyalty is immeasurable like that. But the loyalty of a certain demon cannot be said the same.

"MC is the most annoying person I've ever met. I just made friends with them to spend more time with the brothers." You could still hear that person's voice mocking you, saying how they used you for their own benefit without realizing that you were right behind them, swallowing the crying and the heartache. "And my god, when they started talking I got so bored!"

You hated to think about how someone you thought of as a best friend could do something like that. And even if it wasn't your fault, even if you had been a faithful friend to that person, you couldn't help but feel stupid remembering that you shared your most precious moments with them, that you told your secrets and jokes, that you stayed for hours. that you stayed for hours on the phone with her and that the two of you often had meetings to study together. It was humiliating, still, how she had the nerve to say everything she said in front of everyone and act like she hadn't said anything when she saw you. Today was one of the worst days of your life and you wanted the pain to go away soon.

Your D.D.D's display indicated that you were receiving another call from one of the brothers, but you didn't have the strength to press the button and answer. You just wanted to cry and scream until your vocal cords were hurting, and maybe punch some punching bags to get rid of the pent-up anger. Finally the call ended followed by a flurry of messages, but you let your head fall on your shoulder and closed your eyes, you didn't want to think about them now, your thoughts were being completely influenced by a silly anxiety that they too found your presence irritating and put up with you for the sake of the exchange program.

  "Or like her, they put up with me because I'm related to Lilith and they're waiting for an opportunity to send me away?" You thought out loud. And that possibility brought new tears to your eyes, you absolutely didn't want that to be true and you struggled desperately with that lingering thought, rocking your body back and forth. "Do they really love me? Do they like the things I say?"

A hand suddenly grabbed your shoulder and you screamed, struggling to get away from whoever was holding your shoulder as quickly as possible. Punching and kicking everything within your reach as tears blurred your vision, golden and green reflections slipping in and out of focus.

"MC, calm down, it's me." Said Satan. His voice serving to keep you grounded and make you calm down slowly, ever wise he synchronized your breath with his as he held your hand and rubbed the skin with his thumb. Satan didn't ask unnecessary questions or scold you for staying out after curfew, choosing to pull you to his chest after you had calmed down. Concern apparent on his features. "It's not true... What you said is not true, we love you. You're family, Mc, never doubt that."

Family. You felt your heart do somersaults inside your chest as you rested your head on his chest, feeling mental fatigue wash over you. "You know what...?"

“Yes, we know. A succubus told Asmo about what had happened." Satan said sweetly, trying to spare you from telling what had happened. His hand rubbed your back awkwardly as if to help ease what you were feeling. "It's hard to forget the pain or overcome it, but unfortunately it is from it that we have to learn sometimes.” He seemed to think a lot about what and how to say it, but the sincere eyes and the hand on your shoulder told you exactly what he wanted to say. Move on, be strong.

"Actually easier said than done. Mainly because I see her there every day." You replied, wondering how things would be in the future, if the demons would treat you differently because of what happened and if she would have the courage to ask for your forgiveness or to pretend that nothing happened, or to dare to have the audacity to ask for a second chance when you both knew that second chance would never come. Trust is earned and not given to just anyone, she wouldn't deserve your friendship. "I don't want to see her anymore, Satan."

"And you don't have to." Another voice sounded in the woods, stiff, more powerful. It was Lucifer and his eyes looked like they wanted to set fire to everything they were able to see except you and his brother. He licked his lips as if trying to gather his thoughts and exchanged a look with Satan that you weren't able to understand. "Her entire curriculum was changed so that you don't have the same classes, and Diavolo and I had a word with her about the wrong attitudes she had. And that won't happen again, one of my brothers always will be there if you need us." Lucifer's hand landed on your head like he always did when congratulating you after passing every subject or conquering something you really wanted and you smiled.

The feeling of betrayal flew away. Not forgotten, never forgotten, but you allowed yourself to navigate the warm feel of Satan's embrace and Lucifer's kind eyes, allowed yourself to think less about her and more about the people who were still by your side. You chuckled at the thought you had earlier, they wouldn't betray you and you were sure of it.

"OIIII MC!" Mammon screamed in the distance. "THE GREAT MAMMON HAS COME TO TAKE YOU HOME. EVERYONE IS WAITING!"

  You immediately noticed how the birds began to fly, irate, at the noise the avatar of greed was making. He continued screaming but this time in terror. Some of the birds flew over him to make him shut up and squirrels left their tree houses to throw fruit on his head, it was a common scene you saw in cartoons and that brought a big smile to your face. Only in Devildom would such a thing happen and it was hilarious to see him dodge the fruits and birds while running for his life, you tried to call out to him in laughter but Mammon had already run away.

Lucifer contained a smile on his face as he texted his younger brother and held your other hand shyly. And he winked at you as you looked at him in surprise at his sudden display of affection, but you concluded he was trying to make you feel comfortable in his own way. Lucifer was not eloquent with words like Satan neither as truthful as Mammon, but he had his own charm in comforting the people he loved.

"Let's go home, boys." You smiled, wiping the last tears from your eyes and breathing in the fresh forest air once more. Meanwhile, Satan made sure to pick up your backpack and make sure nothing was missing as you started down the path to the House of Lamentations. "Can we have a movie night and have ice cream tonight?"

"Whatever you want, MC." Lucifer assured.

But you already had everything you wanted. A family that loved you, good friends and you wouldn't trade any of that, ever. On the way home you stopped to buy lots of ice cream and Satan entertained you with funny tales from the book he was reading recently or comments about the weather or whatever you were going to do once you got home. Lucifer made a comment or two, but spent most of his time texting his brothers.

"MC, my dear, I've prepared a warm bath for you." Asmo's sweet voice rang out and he kissed your cheeks as soon as you entered, looking at you with more care and affection than was natural to him. Behind him came Belphie carrying his cow pillow and a stuffed sheep, your stuffed sheep that he'd probably been hugging during your absence - he always did that. He said it helped when he missed you and with a smile he handed you his plushie back. "Welcome back Mc. Do you want some tea?"

  You declined with a polite nod. It was frozen outside and you only seemed to feel it now that the sadness had been consumed by the heat of your feelings, instead you let yourself be dragged into Asmo's room and guided into his huge bathroom. The sight never ceased to amaze you no matter how many times you were there when you applied makeup in front of the mirror or he let you shower there. Pillars snaked up the high ceiling and circled an enormous bathtub, bigger than the one in Levi's room. You thought of it as a swimming pool even though one would be unable to drown in it. The scent of bath salts, perfumes and creams perfumed the air around you. It almost gave you a headache.

"Honeyboo, look at me for a moment?" Asmo asked tenderly and you did as requested. "You probably know this, but I want you to be sure. That wasn't your fault. She didn't deserve you, my angel, so don't blame yourself. It's hard to get through something like this alone, so I'd be here for when things got unbearable, ok? Everything's gonna be fine, love."

After that he left you alone with your thoughts and the hot water. It was refreshing and you just thought about how you felt like a phoenix, breaking free from invisible chains to become better and wiser. You let the water wash everything bad down the drain and put on the most comfortable clothes you had, looking in the mirror to see that your eyes were more natural and happy. After that, feeling happier because of the support of your favorite demons, you walked into the living room watching how Levi and Mammon were choosing movies, sometimes fighting over control when one wanted to read the movie synopsis and the other wanted to keep searching. Taking advantage of their distraction you tiptoed over to them and wrapped your arms around their shoulders, causing Mammon to jump high in fright and Levi to freeze.

 "M-M-MC?" Levi was quick to hug your waist and bury his face in your stomach. He was mumbling something about normies and how traitors should pay dearly, but you got nothing else. Levi was like a kitten who wouldn't let go of your leg no matter how many times you tried to get rid of his paws, so you resigned yourself to massaging his scalp and sighing at the smell of bread rising from the oven that filled the house. "MC, you're going to sit next to me during the movie, right? Best friends are always by your side after al-"

When he recovered Mammon pushed Levi away and hugged you tight as if afraid of losing you. You knew that of all the brothers it was Mammon who understood you the most, and even though he was blushing, he didn't back down like every other time. "MC will sit with The Great Mammon, I'm their first. I promise you none of this will ever happen again as long as I'm on your side, Mc."

"Thanks, you two. Couldn't ask for better friends." You smiled, caressing each of their cheeks. Your heart was out of step with the events of that day, but even so, things were fine now and as long as you had your seven demons dear by your side, everything would be fine. After all, you loved Mammon's shenanigans, playing with Levi all night, gossiping with Asmo, cuddling with Lucifer, reading with Satan, working out with Beel and watching the stars with Belphie. You didn't know how you could think they would betray you but looking at them there proved to you that they would never be capable of something like this, and neither would you. You were loyal to your friendships and always would be.

  The brothers came running into the living room once the movie had started. You sat between Levi and Mammon as promised earlier, and even though there were other seats available, Beel sat at your feet and rested his head on your ankles, as well as offering you bread and candy throughout the movie. Some more than others comforted you in their own way, demonstrating that they loved you above all and that they would be there whenever you need them. And that feeling of belonging could make you cry, that is, if you still had a few tears left to cry. It was special and you held your chest as if to keep that feeling from fading.

"I love you all, thanks for everything."

#obey me shall we date #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me #angst #hurt / comfort #obey me satan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me asmo #obey me belphie #obey me beel #x reader #x mc #lucifer x mc #mammon x mc #levi x mc #satan x mc #asmo x mc #beel x mc #belphie x mc #lorkai imagine

[dorokora]

Chapter 14 Episode 3 Part 1:

We begin with the story about a certain someone. Once upon a time, in a certain world. There’s a omniscient king who served an omniscient and omnipotent "God". The ring was given to him by the archangel Michael, who serves the same "God", to make a pact with his familiar. The name of the omniscient king is Solomon. It is said that he listened to the voice of "God" and lived his life accordingly. As a representative of "God", the king built the Millennium City and accomplished its rule. However, it is said that the King did just that. It is said that he did no good to individual people, and overlooked individual evil. From the throne, He was just watching the interwoven work of people, as if he were watching history. Why did the king, who was supposed to "know everything", think and do what he did? I'm sure those who aren't omniscience didn't understand. We cut to Duo and Bertro. Duo said t the "faith" of King Solomon of was left behind in various forms across many different worlds. For example, in the other world Garo Denma, a treasured sword that King Solomon once had was handed down to Arsalan. It is said that the origin of the style of the summoning crest that seals away demons is connected to King Solomon's ring. Alternatively, it is said that once upon a time in the far eastern world, the descendants of that King Solomon drifted ashore. It is said that he met a clan called "Mononobe" and passed down the blood and summoning crests in a corner of the family line to the current era. Solomon, and Kyouma Mononobe, are the fathers of the clone geniuses in the genetic sense. Solomon is a watcher who has been watching the "game" from outside Tokyo and is a Exception. Exceptions are those who are not allowed to exist in Tokyo. Therefore, Solomon, who cannot enter this world, has been monitoring through a terminal called Kyouma Mononobe. But now, with the alliance of the Entertainers and the Rulemakers, the situation has completely changed, and the omniscient King has now descended. Duo doesn’t know what Curren is thinking. What is the Entertainers ultimate goal? Bertro suggest they see things they can’t see from a different perspective, only Duo can do it since he’s the closest. Duo understands and uses his sacred artifact.

We cut back to Barguest, who’s still on the run while holding MC’s dismembered arm and sword. While Barguest tries to figure out what to do next. Tianzun pops out of nowhere. He’s here to invite Barguest and the other Wanderers to a “party”. He also address Lil’Sal as well. Lil’Sal is surprised that he can see him. Tianzun said the only thing he’s good at is connecting with everyone. He disappear to invite another person/guild to the “party”. Lil’Sal goes with Barguest as if getting pulled by MC’s arm. Barguest notice the Beasttamers are listed on the invitation that Tianzun gave him. Barguest calls the other Wanderers to change rendezvous point.

We cut to the Beasttamers who are being detained by the Rule Makers angels. They are planning on moving the Beast Tamers to a different base. Outside of that place, we see Hastur and Pazuzu. Hastur ask why can’t they just go over there and help the others, but Pazuzu said their Guildmaster is heading over there right now. We cut back to see Yuma attacking the angels. After that, Yuma noticed Leib’s fur hair and puts it in his mouth. He then leaves the place to go track Leib’s scent. Back to Hastur and Pazuzu, Pazuzu says the guild master is on the move again while looking at the location information displayed in the "app". Hastur ask him how does he know that. Pazuzu said it’s because he put a wiretap and transmission gadget in Yuma’s collar. Hastur said that a invasion of privacy! But Pazuzu said Yuma ask for this of his own free will. Yuma wants to be controlled by someone and that this might be useful in the future. Nevertheless, Hastur still wants to go and save Yuma (he loves humans). Pazuzu said it’s best not to rush without a plan first. The only beast tamers members not captured are Hastur, Pazuzu, and Yuma. But just those three won’t be enough against the Rule Maker and Entertainers alliance. But even that alliance has some cracks in it. It seems it’s only the Rule Makers soldiers that have been attacked by Yuma. Hastur sense someone is nearby. It’s Tianzun, he’s here to invite them to the guild alliance.

#chapter 14 #Housamo spoilers