#listened to this song on loop for the entirety of drawing these

[mokadevs]

you've given me nothing to miss

#arknights #lone trail #saria arknights #arknights saria #kristen arknights #arknights kristen #kristen wright #listened to this song on loop for the entirety of drawing these #im in the middle of writing a fic about them ill get there just you guys wait #shakes my finger through tears #theyre everything to me. please talk to me about them #and by to me i mean at me because im unable to form coherent thoughts through anything but mediocre art #kiki draws

[bentosandbox]

Lappy fancam animatic blogging/production notes

now that wolfgirlyaoi is out on global its rambling time about my powerpoint presentation

Concept

Originally I wanted to do an (Tex & Lapp) animatic with the boss theme (broken wall/Signore dei Lupi .mp3) ever since the event dropped but I thought 1) by the time I finished anything someone else would have probably already done it first (lol, lmao even) 2) I remembered the song exists and how much i looped it then while listening to the group's new album drop and thought the lyrics fit Lapp a little too well and also doesn't end abruptly like the boss theme + was shorter so yea

initial stickman storyboard where i put down the lyrics with event dialogue/happenings that i felt would fit nicely together > hastily scribble the images that form in my head

storyboards were basically what i wanted to see (same rule as my comics) lol especially if they weren't shown in the event CGs, eg. there's a CG of the truck crashing into the courtroom so I didn't do that but they didn't mention her physical acting in that scene + the song I used has a bow/salute at that exact part in their live choreo with the very similar line so I wanted to do a homage even though-

-I was like it's going to be such a pain to figure out an economical hand twirl and bow but I have to do this I need to transplant the image in my brain onto the screen because official media did not do a—

Honestly still don't know if its a common phrase and action combo because I was having so much trouble finding external references that wasn't just scrubbing the live video over and over anyway

part of the storyboards were 'recycled' from comic drafts I did (of the chocolate scene because ofc) when the event was running on CN

Originally I wanted to draw Lapp feeding Texas for The Girlyaoi Funny but I wanted to reference the plaque you get which is a Creation of Adam reference right but I also saw people saying it's referencing the scene from Silence of the Lambs lol so...peel the layers to your liking!!

(The chocolate flavour choice was from asking my Columbian friends what the worst chocolate flavour they ever tried which was white coconut)

my sorry attempt at colour keys > final spreadsheet to keep track of progress and paste all the dialogue i put in

Art Direction

A bunch of shots/colour schemes are references to Måneskin's stuff or other media tehepero I'll just put a few here

At first I was going to limit red/blue to tex/lapp respectively but since Omertosa is blue I just did away with that rule and lapp gets to have both (and more!) these two colours have pretty obvious emotional readings I think but also

red = self blue = society Siracusa or: red = yaoi & blue = yuri

for the others:

Purple = Alberto/Saluzzo, its not orange like the fruit he keeps holding because see below; I needed the colour for something else LOL Also the Saluzzos are iirc nobility or whatever and they have purple hints in their clothes so I think it was a good fit anyway

Yellow/Orange = Its supposed to be representing the last word in the story which apparently, yostar went with 'Savagery' which is Correct I guess but (laments again about how nuance is lost in localisation because imo savagery has a more derogatory kind of connotation while I think 蛮荒 in context of the story also has a 'nature/untouched by civilisation' side to it) which is why Texas setting the house on fire was not (entirely) red but orange (and it complements the blues both visually and thematically) and it's yellow at the end when they're frolicking(?) in the wilderness lol

(these colour rules don't apply to the penglog shot and technically a few frames like the shot with shocked penance, the one right after and 'im just lappy' because...i forgor my own rules lol)

The greens/teals were just a reference to the shades in the 3DPV I think

The silhouette/general style was inspired from the 3D teaser thing they had at the beginning of the 3.5 anniversary stream and the card suits that I..forgot to move to the other layers which is why only the green one had them (supposed to be 1 per set 💀)

The clash bit is basically the same as the event CG but with a flipped camera/POV sorry for world's worst screenshot lmao. Couldn't imagine the poses in my head so I ended up posing 3d models in CSP pretty good posing practice

These shots got rendered extra because..they were the first frames I started on and I was still figuring out how much to simplify lol

I also posed the chairs shot for some inexplicable reason…my file was lagging so bad

Headcanon part (kind of)

The childhood flashback scene is probably the part I took the most liberties (headcanon) on since it's not explicitly canon like the rest...the sequence/how I connected the scenes itself to fabricate a timeline of her childhood was kind of inspired by some weibo post musing about how (iirc) texas's sweet tooth maybe came from when she was being fostered at casa Saluzzo and Lapp treating her like a pet essentially and giving her a lot of treats since...you know what happened to her actual pet hehe except maybe texas offered her a stick first and then Lappy just reciprocated endlessly because its one of the few 'acts' she knew that wasn't violence haha yeah this section was basically a stealth doujin sorry

It's mentioned that she was brought up as the ideal Siracusan or whatever and she does the cute doodle in the 3DPV so I thought she probably had the Forced Music Lessons as a kid (The music sheets are Bella Ciao and of course)

The bow choreo was the one thing i really wanted to animate but the music sheet segment (based on that one split second shot above) ended up being my favourite part even though compositing the motion was a mini hell on it's own (ended up compiling a long png to scroll by with the red doodles layered over)

Other things

I will never live down my (self-imposed) shame of misspelling the title (I fixed the title on youtube but its why the ending shot in the upload says ZittE e Buoni instead of ZittI e Buoni) don't rush your fancam in 10 days 😔

I didn't look through the entirety of the EN loc but Idk why they had Lappy say 'Then go.' to Texas when it's supposed to be more like 'Let's go.' as in, 'let's go together' as opposed to 'alright off you go to the greyhall alone' lmfao also her saying goodbye forever padre when addio is right there

I don't think I'm insane enough to do another ppt soon but man this pair really makes the 'imagines a whole music video while listening to music' part of my brain go wheee like first it was Starset's Manifest then Signore de Lupi then this and while working on this one i was thinking how Måneskin's Torna A Casa would be another good track

ok ty for reading #GIRLYAOIREAL

#arknights #Il siracusano #bentodraws #bentotexto #I was going to have this post as a reblog but tumblr broke my copypaste so here's a completely separate post #feel free to ask me about anything else i didn't cover in here

[justkeepwalkingnothinghere]

1 year. 1 year. Wow. Has it really been that long? Has it really been that long since The Owl House bid us farewell? Since the final "Byeee!" that was heard 'round the world? We learnd the story of The Collector, we saw Luz die and get revived, we met Papa Titan. That night, every last one of us got the opportunity to witness Luz, Eda, King and Raine all come together to kick Belos's ass and take him down once and for all. We all watched as every last character came together to build a brighter future for the Boiling Isles. It was an emotional night for everyone. All of that was 1 year ago. And it's hard for me to believe. It doesn't feel real.

To this day, I can still recall how my night went. My parents were at my aunt and uncle's wedding. Adults only, small ceremony in their backyard, I could understand. Only problem is that it left me with no other option but to stay at home, alone with my thoughts, dread, worry and fear over the finale as the minutes ticked by. Waiting until the world would say byeee to a show like no other. At 5 in the afternoon, what would become the most emotional night of my life began with me going to my music, and listening to Lacrimosa on loop for 45 minutes. I listened as I went through Reddit, Tumblr, Discord, YouTube, seeing everyone get ready to watch the finale that I don't think anyone was ready for. I made one last post here wishing everyone good luck before I cut myself off from Tumblr for the rest of the night, not wanting to get any spoilers, as I was waiting until Easter morning to watch it myself. I decided to watch a bit of YouTube to maybe clear my mind and cheer me up, especially once I saw Zeez Vov Gee's TOH video contest was up. I had made a submission of my own, so I was excited to find out if mine had made it in (it did not, sadly). By the time I had finished watching, it was 8:20. 5 minutes away from air time. So, I said good luck to some friends in a TOH Discord I'm in, muted said server until the morning, and was about to switch to watching something else, as YouTube was also a no go. Until a farewell video appeared in my feed. I watched it, being met with the chorus of the song "As The World Caves In".

And I watched it again. And again. And again. One last viewing, this time singing along to the chorus in the literal seconds before the finale aired. A fitting event that was unintentionally timed to perfection. Couldn't have given a better last second send off if I wanted to. For nearly the entirety of the finale's runtime, I listened to the full song on loop, singing along, crying at the thought of getting a hug from Luz as it was really the only thing I wanted then, doing literal shots of milk, sitting and walking while everything swirled within me. Before long, it was past 9, and I hadn't eaten dinner. Stouffer's meatloaf and mashed potatoes. And you wanna know what I did? I ate it while venting to this claymation mouse. Just the two of us, enjoying our meals. For a bit, it felt like that mouse was listening as he chomped down on his chocolate. It was oddly nice. I at least got a break from my anxiety. Turning to dessert, a mini double chocolate bundt cake while watching 30 Rock and drawing glyph doodles, a pleasure that lasted for a short while before my parents made their eventual return. At 11 o'clock at night.

But my entertainment wasn't over just yet. After cleanup, I still had one last thing up my sleeve. I laid on my bedroom floor, in the dark, with my phone brightness turned all the way up. Caramelldansen played through my headphones as the strobe lights danced on the ceiling, getting in one last silent breakdown before heading to bed. My night had concluded after many hours of nothing but dread and anxiety, me constantly trying to keep myself sane. My parents and I had McDonald's for breakfast the next morning, witnessing a masterpiece of animation. And I was happy at the end! Belos was dead, the coven system erradicated, everyone was at the best places in their lives! It was peace and love in the Boiling Isles! How could I not be happy about that? Unfortunately, the joy wouldn't last long. Things settled in soon enough. At first, it felt like the show wasn't over yet. It felt like there were still some stories to tell. But the reality set in before I knew it and I was left sad. I kept thinking about how much the show meant to me, to many. All it had done for me in the handful of months that I had known it. I still wasn't ready for it's end.

Nowadays, a year later, I still haven't fully recovered. This time around feels a bit dark. My 2024 has been nothing but a mess so far, although I am getting through it. But with such a stark contrast to where I was last year, I can't help but feel like things are too different. Almost like a royal fallen from grace. Life in itself hasn't felt the same since Watching and Dreaming. I can't bring myself to watch it again. Today feels weird, and I'm probably not alone. Wherever your emotions stand on this anniversary, just rememeber this:

Us weirdoes have to stick together.

#toh #the owl house #toh watching and dreaming #toh anniversary #wathcing and dreaming anniversary #us weirdoes have to stick together #farewell owl house

[shae-la-hyene]

Top 10 best animated movies sad songs

I'm a hurt fan and I'll never pretend to be anything else.

Some moments or songs break your heart and that's why you love them. Because it slithered so deep into your heart you forgot if you allowed it.

Judged on 'it made me cry the first time I saw it' and 'I listen to it in a loop when I'm depressed' and 'fuck why can I relate so much ?'

10 Remember me

I generally don't like the most recent disneys. I hate the computer animation and would kill to have them go back to drawings. But Coco's emotional journey and message is pretty good. Remember me speaks of the deep rooted wish of humans to be remembered and leave a trace of themselves in the world. Be it to a lover, a child, a friend, they bed for that love not to disappear with them. It's the latest 'Goodbye my lover' or 'Someone like you' : the perfect song to play at a funeral, or when the pain of losing someone is so strong you can't breathe. Today we are separated, and I am so sorry for that. But my heart will continue reaching for you in the dark. Will yours do the same for me ?

What is grief if not love persevering, really ?

9 I'm still here

This one hit close to home, guys... I'm still here is heartbreaking. Remember being a neglected kid ? Remember all those years where the adults you were supposed to trust and respect just... let you down ? Remember every single time someone thought they knew everything there is to know about you, without ever caring to ask ? Remember being a teenager and struggling to believe there was a place, a tiny bit of room, somewhere, that would allow you to exist ? Not knowing who you wanted to be because you didn't believe anyone would ever be there to like whatever you could become ? Remember asking yourself if fighting all your life for a respect you know, deep down, you'll never get, is worth it ? Remember trying to love yourself while everybody was overlooking you or decided you were disappointing ? Remember looking at the entirety of the sky and realize that... it doesn't truly matter, that you don't truly matter anyway ? Remember seeing every perfect person around you getting praised for the littlest things when you never had the same chances to start with ?

Yep. This is it. It's hard to look to the future when the future looks like shit.

8 Someone's waiting for you

This song is maybe the first song I properly acknowledged as a sad song, when I was very very little and didn't know what emotions were.

It says 'this shall pass. I know today sucked. I know the world is against you. But eventually, it'll pass, and life will change because everything change all the time.' And I think I needed that often, in my childhood. When crying myself to sleep I tried to remember... life will go on and yes, today sucked and life sucks right now and you're sad and you're right to be sad and angry and feel empty and bitter. But eventually, life will change and eventually, even if life keep sucking in different ways, you will find someone who is willing to share it with you and it'll make it suck a little less.

When that come, another little one will be blue and you won't be able to do anything for them except telling them 'this shall pass, one day you'll have someone standing by your side to make you happy. Not today. But one day.'

7 Heaven's light

I know. Heaven's light is so full of hope and pure love and tenderness and happiness, why does it even belong in that list ? Well. Because Quasimodo always knew Heaven's light was never meant to be for him. That his face was too hideous. That Esmeralda was never going to love him back. He just allowed himself, for a second, the illusion that she cared for him. Being in love feels amazing, and he focuses on that, knowing the illusion would fall apart when he isn't loved back. Quasimodo's greatest tragedy was to be unloved, Heaven's light is him dreaming of having what everybody else seems to have, knowing well that this dreams would be crushed by the world the second he opened his eyes. I wish he was wrong...

6 Reflection

THE trans song. The dysphoria is strong in this one.

Not me listening to it obsessively before even realizing I'm queer and my family frowning because they didn't understand why I felt it so much. The same family that doesn't see anything wrong with the part they expect us to play, not understanding the deep uneasiness that goes with realizing you can never be someone they'll respect.

Molds and boxes and roles are so wrong, because you can never truly fit them. And, in all of that, not even thinking about everybody you disappointing by not being who you're supposed to be... There is the small matter of disappointing yourself by not being who you wish to be. Queer disney writers were good at making it all about queerness in ways that cishets can't even see, that's for sure.

5 Wherever you are

Genuinely heartbreaking. Because if Pooh is sad, the whole world is wrong of betraying him. He's lost, he's scared and alone and... He's on the edge of giving up and losing all hope and he needs you, where are you ? How dare you abandoning him ? Pooh is too precious and innocent for this to be even remotely okay. You can't break that pure a heart, that's the worse crime ever. Where are you ?

And yet every time I feel lost and lonely, and on the edge of losing hope, every time I wish my loved ones were there to reassure me and tell me what to do, I look at the sky and I think of Pooh that wanted to give up, dreaming and sending his love to the void. I listen to it, again and again, and I think of my loved ones who felt the same, and I try to hope again as I cry myself to sleep. In the french version, he doesn't address Christopher Robin. He addresses the moon and his lucky star, call them 'his lights of hope'. The sky is the full of the same stars we all wished to. Even if we don't always see them.

4 No way out

The cruel reality caught up with them both in that song. And no amount of regret and guilt could make it better. There is no way to soften the blow of telling a little kid that you killed his mother. There's no way to make it better, you just have to say it and know he's going to be shattered. Kinai is faced to the reality of his own actions and the consequences of them. Aware of the hurt and pain he created. He is finally realizing the bad choices he made and why they were wrong. He's finally learning the lesson the spirits were trying to teach him. You can't wipe out tears you caused. You can't bring back those you killed. And no matter how much you suffer from that reality, you are so so aware that it's so little compared to his. And it's all your fault. Growing up hurts. Especially like that.

3 Baby mine

There is no greater love than the one a mother can have for their child. There is no greater pain than when that love gets lost. And when Dumbo only sees the lullaby and the simple joy of being with his mother, cared for a loved, we can only see the bars keeping them apart. We only see his mother stealing a fragile moment to keep the pretense that she can protect her baby from the cruel world waiting for them both. A fleeting moment to pour all the love she has for her little baby in a song and a cuddle before parting, maybe forever. The love is overwhelming and immense but the cage is closed and the cruel people are already marching on them, and soon there won't be time for love anymore.

I love, baby, I wish I could have protected you more.

2 Sound the bugle

Almost made it to the first place, not gonna lie...

It's the song I keep in a loop for when I truly did give up and I'm just tired and don't want to keep going. It speaks of defeat, of being beaten up and finally admitting you weren't made to weather all of that because you weren't supposed to. The world wasn't supposed to be that cruel and you... couldn't fight it forever. It's a suicide song. The split moment when you just... give up. You want to leave, you want to stop existing, you give in. Being defeated by a cruel world leaves a hollow feeling in your chest, a deep sated bitterness that will never truly leave.

And even if you manage to find the strength to start fighting again... Well it won't erase the fact that you weren't supposed to have to fight that hard, ever.

Honorable mentions

When you believe, because it's half sad half hopeful. It had taken a hard fight, with a lot of sacrifices that will always sit in your heart. But, after so long fighting and suffering and ignoring the pain, you did it. You're free. It had an impossible cost, but you did win.

On my way, because it reads as a suicide song SO easily.

Do you wanna build a snowman : how many times, really, will you try something and hope for a different outcome, before finally giving up ?

Deliver us' lullaby : another mother seeing her baby leave, hoping for the best because there's nothing else to hang on to. Fleeting, foolish hope, because they know the world is cruel and they won't be able to protect their baby anymore. And still she loves, so still she hopes.

1 Not in Nottingham

The country style that all Robin Hood's songs is drenched in can't hide the fact that this is by far the saddest song of all animated movies. At least in my opinion but those posts are all about my opinion, aren't they ?

This song just... nails it. Stripped sadness to its barest bones. You wish to believe there is something you can do, but you know there's not. It's not even personal. It's just... how things are. And that's unfair, and you can't do anything about it, and it makes you so miserable and hopeless and exhausted. Why is that so ? Why is this situation so unfair and miserable and cruel ? Why couldn't you just be happy ? Why couldn't the world be fair ? Why is it always bad, why can't you have good things, sometimes ? Why ?

The world sucks and sometimes you're just... stuck somewhere where you know nothing good can happen.

The world sucks, especially in Nottingham.

Also see : Top ten Villain songs, Top ten sad songs, Top ten romantic songs, Top ten intros that slap, Top ten pretty songs, Top ten not-that-bad sequel, Top ten worse sequels, Top five terrifying villains

#disney #disney movies #disney songs #sad songs #to watch #msmojo #robin hood #spirit the stallion of the cimarron #brother bear #the prince of egypt #frozen #bambi #mulan #winnie the pooh #coco #the rescuers #the hunchback of notre dame #the treasure planet

[fubbyandfroots-blog]

@artichuka surprise!! I was your secret santa!! :D

here’s some colorful lil friends fooling about!! I wasn’t sure exactly which of the talking buddies to include, so I just put all of them besides the kc and cubs boys (which i can def add if you want them!!) 

i’m not sure if there’s too much of a specific theme? it’s kinda just inspired by retro arcade carpets and neon stuff if that makes sense :p 

bonus: transparent and unshaded versions under the cut!

anyway, I really hope you enjoy these!! lemme know if there’s anything you’d like me to add or change! merry christmas!! <3

#oh ye they're supposed to be dancing #honestly i was listening to the furby song on loop for like the near entirety of making this and its such a bop i wanted the furbs to dance #they kinda just look like they're randomly flailing around tho i'm sorry :( #also i didn't intend for the yellow furb to look like they're kicking the red furb #that was just kinda bad placement on my part #again i'm sorry :( #this is kind of a mess tbh ihbfchdbfbsnisn i'm sorry if you don't like it :c #i'll def fix anything you want me to tho #asdadfsafsfd iits like 7 in the morning and i havent slept at all since yesterday #i'm p iffy right now since i'm just really tired and brain dead #i prob shouldn't be drawing stuff when i'm sleep deprived but this is like the only time i'm remotely productive #sdfcasfsdvdfv i'm a mess rn i'm sorry #i'll prob get some sleep if i can after i post this and then uh #kinda try to make sense of whatever i'm doing now then #anyway lemme tag this #furby #allfurby #safefurby #sweet furb #many furb #furby secret santa #furbysecretsanta #my art #eye strain #idk if its actually eyestrain since literally everything is straining my eyes rn #but i mean its p neon so it prob is #they also don't really look much like specifically furby buddies #they just kinda look like smushed normal furbs i'm sorry :( #i mean thinking about it that kinda basically is what buddies look like but wubfdhbdhfb these still look off #idk i'll take another look at it later when i actually have sleep

[franstastic-ideas]

I am once again wishing I had the art know-how to draw something for Pacifist Horrortale Frans and Disturbed’s The Sound of Silence.

I have been listening to the slowed + reverb version of this song on loop (I can’t stop please somebody help me), so I’ve also been getting vivid visions of scenes for this purely hypothetical comic/MV. 

This is my headcanon voice for HT!Sans now.

I’m not quite sure why myself, but my mind keeps going back to the idea of Sans singing to a statue of Frisk, depicted as an angel - maybe Toriel erected it after she left for the surface, in her memory and for all the friends she made and had to leave behind. 

Before the kingdom fell to ruin, many monsters would come to visit the beautiful artwork of their friend, but now only a select few are permitted to see it.

The statue is in New Home, where Undyne is - the one monster left in the Underground that he’s afraid of, although subconsciously.

And still he sneaks into the capital, into what once functioned as the Judgement Hall where the statue has been kept all this time, even though Undyne never once said he wasn’t allowed to be there - all for the sake of seeing Frisk.

Even though he knows this cold, lifeless stone crafted in her image isn’t her and never will be, sometimes he likes to pretend it is. Sans will talk to her, tell her about his day and try to make his situation sound as pleasant as possible so she won’t worry.

And sometimes, sometimes he sings to her.

“Hello darkness, my old friend I've come to talk with you again.“

The song always starts softly as he’s standing on the other side of the room, opposite of the statue. Then his voice crescendos as he slowly approaches the angelic form of Frisk, raising his skull to peer at her marble face illuminated by the moonbeams seeping in through the cracks in the ceiling, skeletal hands clasped tightly over his ribcage as if lost in fervent prayer.

“And in the naked light I saw Ten thousand people, maybe more People talking without speaking People hearing without listening People writing songs that voices never share.“

Of course he’s heard. Of course Undyne can hear him from her throne room, and so can all the other monsters that have taken up residence in the castle. The reluctant queen is sure that his song reaches the entirety of the Underground, or what’s left of it.

But no one dares disturb The Sound of Silence...

#frans #horrortale #pacifist horrortale #headcanons

[bts-weverse-trans]

The Life of BTS Writes a Story Review of BE 2020.11.30

BTS released its new album, BE, on November 20 after RM announced the band’s plan to produce the record on BANGTANTV’s Log (ON) on April 17. The group was working on the album even as “Dynamite”, the single they dropped on August 21, was topping the Billboard Hot 100. This order of events is given a fresh new meaning when “Dynamite” closes BE as opposed to standing alone as a single. While the group was busy sending messages of hope by reminding us of the past where heading out happily after a cup of milk was possible and giving us a glimpse of the future that will eventually come, they were recording the emotional ride they have been on while being off stage via different tracks on BE. Such changes in emotions can be seen through different portrayals of Jung Kook’s room—the way it looks during the first verse of both “Dynamite” and “Life Goes On,” the title track of the new album. Jung Kook is captured looking chipper as he ties his shoes getting ready to go out and dances in his sunshine-filled room in the music video of “Dynamite”, but in the latter’s video, Jung Kook stares blankly out the window. BE tells the story of how Jung Kook and other members navigated their lives, which includes their time singing “Dynamite,” during the pandemic by stepping out of rooms that are distinctively less colorful than the scenes in the music video of “Dynamite”.

The seven tracks, not including “Dynamite”, embody BTS’ emotional shifts and draw what looks a lot like a V curve, with “Skit” separating each section of three songs. The album opens with “Life Goes On” where BTS asks, “there’s no end in sight / is there a way out?” to live through a reality devoid of hope and arrives at “Stay” where the group expresses their intense longing for a reunion with the fans by saying, “Thinking of you now / No matter where you are / That’s not important.” And during this journey, BTS responds to the physical limitations imposed on their daily lives by saying “They took away this whole year” while also trying to put a positive spin on it by singing, “Thoughts can change by thinking,” in “Fly to My Room”. What follows is “Blue & Grey”, where they reveal inner feelings of depression and anxiety with the line, “Still don’t know this sharp blue / Hope it’s not covered over I’ll find the exit.” “Skit” then offers a shift in direction, and the next song, “Telepathy” reveals their eagerness to meet people again, highlighted by the lyrics, “Every day’s the same and I’m happiest when I meet you.” BTS also takes a moment to let out their complex thoughts on work to reach “Stay” ultimately. It is only at the end of this process that the optimism in “Dynamite”, which feels like a conviction of hope in a time of pandemic, appears in full.

“Life Goes On” allows those who don’t know whether they should hold on to hope or give up on hope to feel what it is like to go with the flow when you don’t know what to feel. Those who want to find a reason to be positive in life affected by the pandemic can find solace in “Fly to My Room.” But it is when you listen to the album as a whole that you can get healing from the pain the pandemic has inflicted on us. The soothing ambiance offered by “Life Goes on” transitions into heavy, slow, and dark tunes in “Blue & Grey,” which is followed by faster rhythm and airy sounds in “Telepathy” and “Stay.” Then the album finally culminates in “Dynamite” where the bright sunshine lifts you up. The record in its entirety offers the chance to experience at least indirectly the emotional ride taken by global superstars BTS themselves. “Dis-ease” is the classic example of the storytelling style BTS chose for the album; the moment they let out their angst and fully devote themselves to work is when the song reaches its climax. When BTS sings, “Get up one more time / It’s morning again we gotta go out / Let’s go one more night,” towards the end of the song, the arrangement drives up the song’s tension for the peak moment, “Everyday I console myself / We’re all the same people ain’t so special / Ay man keep one, two step keep calm and let’s heal up” which tops the song off like fireworks. This ironic way of storytelling mirrors BTS’ life at the moment. There are a lot of thoughts about work and life on their mind, but they try their best to work through them. And just as they do this, their energy transforms into a musical blast.

With “On,” the single track on their previous album “Map of the Soul : 7,” BTS says “Where my pain lies / Let me take a breath.” The album covers how BTS has traveled from the past to where they stand now, and “ON” tells a story of the members having to live with the “shadow” that comes with enormous fame as discussed in “Interlude : Shadow” on the very same album. With BE, BTS finally tells the story of their lives that are still unfolding. It’s not clear whether their questions about work asked in “Dis-ease” now found answers. It’s not known how long this will last, just like no one knows when this pandemic will finally run its course. We have no way of knowing if they are still in the mood expressed in “Blue & Grey” or they’re feeling the positivity of “Fly to My Room.” One thing that is clear is that while they battle work as one would with “Dis-ease,” they still wrote songs like “Telepathy” and “Stay” to send their messages to the fans, and kept busy getting ready to perform “Dynamite” on numerous stages. BE is the album that ties together all of their real-life events, both on and off stage, as one narrative. They started as an idol group and now their lives are intertwined inseparable from their music, their very existence becoming the stories they tell.

The way BE sets up different songs is directly linked to the musical changes BTS has undergone, and thus, are evident in the album. As the members’ stories take center stage, the arrangement focuses on getting their lines and melodies across and adjusts itself flexibly to each member’s part without following a certain trend or form. The arrangement filled with sounds of guitars, synthesizers, bass, drums, and pianos or sounds similar to real instruments is fitting to songs like “Fly to My Room” and “Blue & Grey”, in which auditory shifts accompany each member’s part. The smaller number of sounds used in

BE

compared to previous albums further emphasizes vocals, such as by accentuating the sound of Jung Kook inhaling in the beginning of “Life Goes On.” If J-Hope’s part in “Fly to My Room” reminds you of a gospel song, it’s not just because the synthesizer highlighted the gospel-like vibes but also because j-Hope’s voice that faithfully delivers his emotions as if giving witness to an epiphany with the line, “Thoughts can change by thinking.” Just like the auditory shift that takes place with SUGA’s rap part in “Blue & Grey” where the drums begin to layer, the arrangement of BE evolves constantly in line with each member’s part.

BE also takes on new challenges in format.. The chorus in “Blue & Grey” has such long melodies that it has no clear ending, and it fades out for the post-chorus that triggers an image of a lonely winter night with gloomy vocals. The post-chorus might seem like an abrupt shift but many devices contribute to giving this song the bleak wintery night vibe: RM’s somewhat distant rapping delivered through left and right on stereo that echoes through the room as well as the vocal recording that applied different echoes depending on lyrics and the solemn sounding cello. “Life Goes On” progresses in a similar fashion, starting with percussions ringing right next to your ears that create multi-layered sounds and taking you to an imagined space by blending the chorus and synthesizer. The story they tell resembles confessions about emotional states or specific circumstances, and the melodies unfold and rap flows in new ways as the story progresses While there are a lot of shifts, there is consistency in that sounds build the same sense of space. “Stay,” while being an EDM piece, ends on a rather blue note after phasing out beats that earlier set the stage for the dancefloor stomper. It makes sense given that the song is Jung Kook’s imagination of performing in front of the fans; Festivities in the song are interrupted by the fading out of vocals and overall sound layers. “Telepathy” offers a catchy hook in a song filled with bouncy spirit, just like “Dynamite” does. But the difference lies in that “Dynamite” brings out the explosive energy through repetition of melodies and variation of rhythms and that “Telepathy” phases itself out by reducing the number of sounds. “Fly to My Room” is about coming to terms with life in the pandemic, but the acknowledgment doesn’t necessarily make such a life enjoyable. Adding vibrant melodies isn’t a solution to challenges that accompany work, which are conveyed in “Dis-ease.” Such are the mixed feelings we experience in life—in which we have no control over a break or our approach—that are clearly expressed in the album by highlighting each member’s part and various shifts. Despite the numerous musical turns, the album has been produced in a way that ensures its consistency throughout the entire work; “Life Goes On” leaves you with the chorus where the seamless melodic flow seems like it’ll just keep on going.

In “Skit”, BTS is talking about how they’re practicing their debut song for performance eveon on the day after “Dynamite” became No.1 on the Billboard Hot 100. After they topped the chart with “Dynamite”, they came back with an album filled with songs seemingly the polar opposites of their hit single. Life seems to be on a loop but changes suddenly appear, and previous routines end up different because of this newness. BE is an acceptance of such peculiarity of life rather than an answer to it. BTS began with K-pop and now have become superstars of pop, and they’ve harnessed the power of their own story in the album by choosing neither path. The team that began its journey with “No More Dream” and have traveled to “Dynamite” leaves an open ending as to where they will head next. Still, the next chapter will be shared regardless of what it shapes up to be. That is why they can leave us wondering what comes after BE.

Trans © Weverse

#bangtan #weverse #201130 #2020 #weverse magazine #be album

[strooodl]

One more thing I wanted to mention— But whenever I read your fanfics I always turn on the same song and play it on repeat during the entirety of my read, and I thought you’d like to hear it—

It always feels like it just fits the atmosphere and mood

https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/haufHyChuonamPM77

few minutes late on this one, whoops! getting some class stuff done. also, ive been looping that for like 20 minutes bdjjfhdksjn it’s so calm ,,

also, i like to listen to music while i’m writing, too hehe. it’s normally super soft stuff and i guess in a way i draw a little bit of inspiration from it? i’ve never really straight up had a song in mind while i was writing (except maybe this one unfinished angst piece?) but if i write something soft it’ll generally be because i’ve been in a soft sort of mood and that’ll reflect in my music taste perhaps.

but yeah, ive got a creative-inspiration-spotify-playlist-thingy but it’s private as of now. recently it’s been a lot of cavetown, but honestly it’s always been cavetown. i’ve got to say some really big ones as of now are the doki doki literature club soundtrack (not like sayo-nara or anything deathy), “i like giants” by kimya dawson (WHICH IS!! A REALLY GOOD SONG!! ALL OF DAWSON’S STUFF IS SO GOOD AND EVERYONE SLEEPS ON IT!!), and a mix of older + newer cavetown songs like “telescope”, “sweet tooth”, “juliet”, “hug all ur friends”, “boys will be bugs”, “trying,” his cover of “paul”, “talk to me” and, lo an behold, “meteor shower” bdshfh

[odos-bucket]

I was going to wait until this was finished and post it all at once, but it was starting to get kind of long so I figured I’d cut it up a bit.

(Also fair warning that I don’t know shit about music)

Jaskier hears it for the first time when he’s traveling alone. And, yes, it probably does say something about his character that he hadn’t been paying the music at the tavern any attention until a series of chords came together to make direct reference to his own work. Though reference may have been the wrong word; the difference in key, combined with the cadence of the performer’s voice were more suggestive of a parody.

Which, fine. He has a sense of humor. And there’s still something kind of flattering about it. Once he hears it he can’t not listen. He won’t deny his curiosity. And tuning a sound out is a great deal harder than tuning it in.

What he hears upon giving his attention to the other minstrel makes his blood run cold.

Tales of The White Wolf are told all across the continent now. And he takes no small degree of credit for that. He’s yet to hear any such story that didn’t have its origins with him, or rather he hadn’t until now. Because the story he’s hearing is unlike any he’s ever told, would ever tell.

It’s a story about the Witcher's defeats and losses, his captures and humiliations. Jaskier grinds his teeth as he listens, references to encounters he was present for confirming to him that this isn’t just some slapped together joke.

How dare they.

The voice that had been so unobtrusive for the better part of the past hour quickly becomes grating. The tone it sings in is light and playful. The tune it accompanies is disrespectfully jaunty.

How fucking dare they.

There’s laughter around the room. And it may be related to the music, and it just as easily may not be. But the fact that he has to hear it while the imagery of his lover caged and muzzled is being forced into his mind is too much.

He doesn’t pay attention to what he might knock over, or who he might knock into on his way out of the tavern. He’s shaking when he gets outside, because this can’t be happening. The thought flashes through his mind that he needs to get to Geralt, as if that could somehow do anything to rectify the fact that this is happening.

He rubs hard at his eyes, and takes a shaky breath as he leans against the building’s outer wall. He tries to take a moment to calm himself, he really does. Then, failing that, he goes to wait for the other musician down a nearby side street.

He’s young, and skinny, and not particularly difficult to shove up against the wall when he finally emerges from the pub a half an hour later.

“What the hell was that?!” Jaskier demands, just loud enough to drown out the beginnings of a startled yelp.

The younger bard struggles for only a few seconds, before the entirety of his energy seems to pour into staring intently at Jaskier. The way his eyes go from being narrowed in concentration to suddenly blown wide with something resembling horror makes them look like a pair of rapidly inflating balloons.

“What are you-" by the time his eyelids have pushed back as far as they can go the question dies on his lips. “Oh gods.”

Something about the fear that seeps into his voice and over his face once he realizes who it is who’s pinning him to the wall brings Jaskier a mean spirited sense of satisfaction that he doesn’t feel comfortable examining too closely.

“Look, I just sing what I pick up from whoever’s passing through! It’s all any of us do around here!"

Jaskier backs up enough to examine the other bard, and he is young, sixteen or seventeen maybe. Nothing about him looks particularly road-worn, the way it would if he had gone out to do any of the necessary research for his stories.

Not the writer then.

Still.

“Do you remember who you picked that particular song up from?”

“A traveling bard,” the boy stammered.

“Yes very helpful, thank you.”

“I’m sorry! I wasn’t taking credit for it or anything, no one from the village thinks I write my own songs! I can stop singing it!”

“You will stop singing it. And pass it along to anyone else you know who might have picked it up that it would be in their best interest to stop too.” Jaskier sighs, suddenly exhausted. “…What do you mean you weren’t 'taking credit for it’?”

“I don’t take other people’s music and try to pass it off as my own… But I know some poets don’t want others performing their work either way.”

“Why is this something I should care remotely about?”

The boy’s eyes deflate back into thoughtful slits. He takes a step to the side, circling around the arms reach of space Jaskier has already allowed to grow between them.

“It’s- You don’t want me performing your songs, right?”

“What-" A slow working part of his mind answers the question before his mouth can finish asking it.

Enraged, he consciously wills himself to take another step back, as if that will somehow make the growl rising out of him less terrifying to the virtual child he’s just violently accosted. He runs his his hands through his hair until it stands up on ends. He desperately reaches for something to say that’s not just a string of profanity, and wonders vaguely if this is how Geralt feels all the time.

The youth is on the opposite side of the narrow street from him now, and seems to be weighing the benefits of just taking off at a run. Jaskier would rather he didn’t. But he’s not going to chase after him if he does.

He takes in a deep breath.

“I have neither the energy, the patience, the time, nor truthfully the inclination to so much as begin to approach the depths of how badly you have misunderstood this situation.”

“W-what?” The boy asks.

“I don’t give two shits if you sing my songs!”

“…”

“…”

“O-oh,” he finally catches on. “You’re not- So then why-“ he makes some vague gestures.

Jaskier feels his patience fraying.

“I want to know who wrote it,” he snaps. "You clearly have no idea. But if there’s anything you can remember about the performer you picked it up from…”

He can see the effects of his own expectant glare reflecting back from the boy’s eyes.

“He was a man,” he offers meekly. “Older than you, I think, a little bit. He wasn’t anyone of note, local probably. Most of the bards who pass through aren’t from more than a day’s ride away from here.”

“There are quite a lot of settlements within a day’s ride from here.”

“I’m sorry!” By now his voice has risen to a squeak, and there doesn’t seem to be any point in continuing to terrorize him.

Jaskier shoos him away, and leans back to rub at his temples as the sound of hurried footsteps fades farther and farther away.

He doesn’t get a chance to stop thinking about the song before he hears it again. And again. And even in variations, with some details added, or switched out for others. It gets longer. Like it’s being steadily added to from somewhere. Stretching out what already feels like an infinite loop.

Truthfully it isn’t that wide spread. Jaskier may feel like its joke of a melody is surrounding him like an inescapable fortress, but if he were keeping actual track he’d know he hasn’t been coming upon people playing it more than a couple times a week. At the height of its popularity “Toss a Coin” could have easily played two or three times at the same pub on the same night.

The perspective doesn’t make it any better. Not when every time the damn song plays he remembers a cave of vampires, who almost killed him, who did kill more than half of the townspeople with whom he had shared a horrifying week of captivity. By the time he was freed he was soaked and splattered in the blood of at least a dozen other people. What right does somebody think they have to make a joke out of something that still keeps him and scores of others jolting awake in the middle of the night with half formed screams trying to escape their throats?

The things he doesn’t remember he can imagine. He doesn’t want to, probably shouldn’t, but he can, and he does, and then he can’t stop. The lyrics shine new light on certain scars; they’re scars Jaskier hadn’t yet heard the full stories of, and it’s a light he would go blind to turn off. If it’s all as accurate as the parts he can vouch for the authenticity of then he’s learned things he has no right to know, or that he only should have learned from Geralt. The fact that he knows that the raised patch of smooth skin on his back is from a fucking cattle brand feels like a betrayal, he feels like a monster for knowing that without the witcher wanting him to. And the thought of things that even he shouldn’t know being carelessly wafted past the ears of strangers draws a rage out of him that he barely knows what to do with.

He stops to sing everywhere he passes through, whether it makes financial sense or not. He plays, and writes, and tells his stories, and tries with everything he’s worth to drown out the malicious slander. He asks questions wherever he can too. He can threaten and terrify every wayward minstrel he comes across who’s foolish enough to play it, but he won’t even come close to killing the song unless he can cut it off at its source.

#the witcher #geraskier #witcher #geralt of rivia #jaskier #ignore me #my writing

[raleighcarrera]

10. staring at the other’s lips, trying not to kiss them, before giving in for raleigh x mc

(this is a lil continuation of this)

with at least a thousand people in the venue, he should’ve been able to ignore her, no problem.

as the party raged on around him, raleigh knew he should’ve been able to find a distraction, especially with so many -- drugs, alcohol, industry people to avoid and women to flirt with -- at his fingertips. 

but he wasn’t interested in those. the only thing he was interested in was loitering by the bar, looking ethereal in a long, silk gown cinched at her narrow waist. as his eyes trailed over her from behind, lingering on the line of her spine under the fabric, he wondered if the marks he’d left on her last saturday when she’d come over and immediately pulled him into his bedroom had faded yet.

before he could get too caught up in the memory, cadence turned and caught his eye. she had a champagne flute in one delicately manicured hand and didn’t appear surprised at all to find him staring at her, like she could feel the heat of his gaze even with so many people between them. 

raleigh slid his eyes slowly down her body and then turned away, heading for the balcony at the far side of the room. if he knew her at all --

footsteps echoed in his ears a moment later, and the door closed behind cadence as she stepped up beside him. the sound from the party faded into silence, and just like that, it felt like they were completely alone. he stared out over the city as she leaned her arms on the balcony beside him.

“hey.” 

unable to resist the temptation, he slid his eyes to the side and glanced at her. just a glimpse was enough to weaken his resolve; raleigh turned his head fully and took her in from up close. she was just as stunning as she’d been in his fresh-from-tour sheets on saturday, smiling up at him while he leaned over her in bed. 

“hey, stranger,” raleigh returned casually -- more casually than he felt. “long time no see.”

she was still carrying her champagne flute and he ached, suddenly, for a drink of his own -- anything that’d make this interaction go down a little easier. especially considering that the illusion of privacy they had was just that: an illusion. no one here could know that they were anything other than broken up -- if they even were anything else. which he doubted.

“i forgot to ask you,” she murmured, flushing a little for some reason he couldn’t understand, “how was europe? tour?”

true, they hadn’t done much talking on saturday. he’d barely dropped his bags before she came in from the private elevator and took him to bed. and she’d left pretty quickly afterwards.

“nice, i guess. it was only fifteen cities. done pretty quickly.” raleigh tapped his fingers against the stone ledge of the balcony. “what about you? got a release date for that album yet?”

it felt strange, making small talk with her. they weren’t small talk people -- or they never had been, before. maybe they were now.

“not yet. i’m still working on a few things.” a breeze blew through the balcony and cadence took a step closer to him, pressing her shoulder into his. raleigh turned his gaze back out at the city and then sighed, stepping away.

“what’d you come out here for?” 

cadence blinked at him. “what?”

he grit his teeth. “i said, why’d you follow me out here?”

“i... i don’t know. i thought you wanted to talk in private. you were staring at me.”

raleigh stepped away from the railing, then, turning towards her fully. fortunately, with the door shut behind them and the heavy curtains covering the windows, the chances of anyone inside seeing them were minimal. "of course i was. i haven’t heard from you all week.”

cadence’s brow furrowed, and she turned towards him, too, leaning her hip against the balcony ledge. “was i supposed to call you?”

he gaped back at her in disbelief. “okay -- you know what? forget it. i need to not be around you for awhile. i’ll see you later.”

she reached out for his arm before he could turn away and wrapped her fingers around the sleeve of his jacket tightly. “hey, what the hell is your problem? why are you mad at me?”

“i’m not mad at you,” he sighed, drawing in a deep breath to calm himself down before stepping closer to her again. “i just don’t want to do this with you right now.”

cadence dropped his arm and then folded her own under her chest, frowning at him. “good to see you’re as emotionally stunted as ever.”

raleigh’s patience instantly snapped cleanly in two. “i’m emotionally -- you’re out of your fucking mind,” he seethed, doing his very best to keep his voice low, even as he leaned in closer, crowding her back against the balcony’s ledge. “what’s your endgame with these mixed signals, anyway? i’d love to know.”

her eyes narrowed. “i haven’t been giving you any mixed signals.”

raleigh ticked each one off on his fingers as he said, “first you break up with me. then you write a song telling everyone you love me -- everyone except me -- then you come over and sleep with me after ignoring me for three months and now you think that i’m the one with the problem because i want to get over you in peace instead of playing this head game. i’d say those are pretty mixed, from where i’m standing.”

cadence leaned in closer, her face flushed -- a telltale sign that she was growing annoyed with him. “we broke up because of you. maybe you don’t remember, but you spent most of our relationship acting like you barely wanted me around.”

“that literally could not possibly be farther from the truth,” he shot back, leaning over her. his hands braced on the railing behind her back, caging her in. as he came closer, he noticed cadence’s eyes drop to his mouth, and his next retort died in his throat as the pink on her cheeks deepened.

there was nothing but the sound of the wind, then, and their own breathing. cadence still looked pretty angry at him, but her eyes were soft where they were narrowed in on his lips, and, with a swallow, he shifted his own gaze to her mouth, too.

her lips were parted and painted a soft pink; the memory of kissing her on saturday was making his fingers twitch where he was gripping the railing behind her. it’d be easy to go for it -- he’d only have to move an inch, and then she’d be in his arms again, and he could kiss her...

god, he was still so fucking mad at her, though. without lifting his eyes, he sighed, “if you don’t want to be with me then you need to leave me alone.”

cadence pursed her lips. a long moment of silence stretched between them.

then she leaned forward and kissed him. though he knew he should’ve seen it coming, raleigh was still surprised; his hands found the small of her back after a moment and he pulled her closer, kissing her back forcefully. 

no matter how much time had passed, cadence still felt the same under his hands. she still tasted the same, still responded the same, still fit perfectly against him. she did something to him he was sure no one else would ever be able to manage. 

the little half-sigh, half-moan she exhaled into his mouth just before she bit his lip went straight to his dick, and while he knew there was absolutely no way he could get her undressed out here, at an industry party, on the balcony in front of the entirety of midtown manhattan -- he still wanted. he was only human.

and he’d missed her.

cadence ripped her face away with a gasp, staring at him in surprise like she hadn’t been the one to kiss him. raleigh squeezed her waist, then asked, “you okay?”

she hesitated, then blew a lock of hair out of her eyes with a huff of annoyance. “no. i really miss you.”

he bit the inside of his cheek. she was just talking shit, same as always. “i’m right here.”

“not, like -- not, like, now. always. i miss being with you all the time.” 

“cadence --”

“no,” she interrupted, “listen.” he shut his mouth and watched her draw in a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. “the reason why i ended things was because i felt like you were never going to be able to be serious about us.” 

raleigh met her eyes and found himself unable to look away from how they were pleading at him. “but -- you were serious about us, right?” she asked, her voice so soft he could barely hear her over the wind. “the whole time, right?”

he pulled one hand away from her to run it through his hair. “yeah.”

she nodded, and as he stared at her some more he started to realize she’d never known that before right now. which meant he probably had been a pretty shitty boyfriend. 

“look,” he started again, “i thought the way i felt about you was obvious. you should’ve told me you had doubts.”

cadence averted her eyes. she still had her arms looped around his neck. “i know.” he shifted to get a little closer to her and felt her fingers slide into the hair at the back of his neck. it felt almost unnaturally good. “but... we could try this again, if you want.”

raleigh lifted a hand to her chin and tilted her face up. when their eyes met she looked both hopeful and sad in a way that made his heart pound. 

one day she really was going to ruin his life.

in lieu of an answer, he leaned down and kissed her again. cadence pushed back off the ledge of the balcony, pressing her body firmly against his. 

into her ear, so that he could be sure she’d hear him over the wind, raleigh finally told her exactly how he felt, as plainly as possible. 

#this is soooooo old and don't get any ideas anyone bc i'm not doing more of these i just hoarded this one in case i ever felt like doing it #raleigh carrera #platinum #raleigh carrera x mc #cadence dorian #raleigh x cadence #raleigh x mc #myfic #long post #wow i'm glad i saved this bc i really wanted to write raleigh today and #i have 0 ideas for the july challenge

[amoveablejake]

My Five Key Songs of February 2021

It’s that time again.

I should say that before we begin, I currently am not quite sure which five songs will make it into this list. I’ve got it narrowed down to nine at the moment and I’m not really sure how I’m going to whittle it down anymore so I’m going to be going off gut instinct. Thats right. High stakes, quick fire choosing. Oh boy, the suspense is too much for you I know. 

The first song of the month: ‘Digital Love’ by Daft Punk 

I’m going to be honest. In my head I was thinking that it would be a Daft Punk track that would be the song of the month and earn its place in the end of year playlist. I thought this because this is the month when Daft Punk split up, nearly a week ago now, and I thought hell they’ll have to be song of the month, right? Well, as it turns out no but ofcourse they do make the list. Last Monday for my album of the week feature I spoke about Daft Punk’s importance to me and the song that I was playing to bid them farewell so I won’t rehash that here. Instead I will put in ‘Digital Love’. I was listening to this track before the Robots decided to call it a day and I’ve been listening to it a hell of a lot since. It is a song that is bursting with life and the momentum it builds over its five minute duration is almost unstoppable. Proving once again that those French Robots got going, they really weren’t planning on slowing down. The irony. 

Next up for our second song: ‘Happiness Is’ by Vince Guaraldi Trio 

If I didn’t include ‘Happiness Is’ then it would not be a true reflection of the past month. At the beginning of February I was playing Vince Guaraldi on a loop throughout the day and ‘Happiness Is’ was at the front of that. It is all too easy when I do these lists to only focus on the songs from the latter part of the month but in order to give an accurate portrayal of the previous weeks in their entirety I need to include it as a whole and whilst I have dropped off the Vince Guaraldi train over the past week or so for a while he was all I was listening to as the rain fell on my window whilst I worked. This is a truly beautiful song and once again proves that the Peanuts specials have the best scores around. 

Our third entry for the list: ‘The Wind’ by Yusuf/Cat Stevens 

Sometimes you’ll hear a song and it will immediately works its way into your heart. For me that is ‘The Wind’, after hearing it in the film ‘Rushmore’ Cat Steven’s record has been a staple of my listening with its gentle and in a way achingly beautiful lyrics. It feels like a song that would perhaps play in the background of a sitcom during the more poignant moments. And with this song like the finest sitcoms you start off expecting one thing and then you’re caught off guard with the emotional side that strikes you to your core. 

Up next for number four: ‘Love Never Felt So Good’ by Micheal Jackson 

This was one that could have easily not made the cut in lieu of another record but really, ‘Love Never Felt So Good’ has to make an appearance. At the end of the work day I’ve been putting it on to move into the evening and to feel work wash over me. Released posthumously, this is a song that really shows you how talented MJ was. This is a song that was left on the cutting room floor and could easily be one of his best in my eyes. I often don’t approve of releasing unreleased tracks from artists after they pass away but with ‘Love Never Felt So Good’ I’ll make an exception. Not only because its an absolute hit but because it feels like an MJ song that is drawing on his past hits whilst also feeling very current. Another example of a master at work, then, now and forever. 

And here we are, the fifth song and the track of the month: ‘Bella Ciao’ by Manu Pilas 

When I’ve been musing about what will make this list I knew ‘Bella Ciao would make an appearance but I didn’t think it would make the track of the month and thus the end of the year playlist but when I think about it, there really isn’t any other song thats even close to this this month. From the moment I heard my sweet bank robbers singing this in ‘Money Heist’ and then the Professor singing it in a later episode I knew that I was never going to get this out of my head. It is a song that I have been singing constantly, listening to on repeat and you may think that I would have grown tired of it by now but oh no. Everytime it makes an appearance in the series, which it does in a number of different ways, I am always very excited to hear it. This version is my favourite and the one played in the show the most. Is this song here because February has been all about ‘Money Heist’, absolutely, but also because its a fantastic song and one that I’ll be singing as I walk into the Royal Mint of Spain. 

So, there we have it our tracks of the month for February 2021. At the end of the year all five songs will be on a sixty track long playlist and ‘Bella Ciao’ will make it on to the far superior tracks of the year playlist. Two down, ten to go. 

- Jake, a man who really needs a Salvador Dali mask, 28/02/2021 

[somekindoftuber]

vld youtuber AU (klance, part 7)

hey so who’s up for some a n g s t

(content warning for this chapter: vomit)

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six

.

“Favorite color?”

“Red.”

“Cool, mine’s blue. Um, favorite subject in school?”

“....Math?”

“Ew.”

“Lance,” Keith laughs over the mic. “You said no judgment. I was good at math.”

Leaning back, Lance pops his back. “Yeah, okay, fine. Mine was history.”

“Ew.”

They’d been sitting in the Overwatch menu screen for at least a half-hour, Keith indulging Lance in a question swap. “You know,” Keith says after taking a drink of his soda. “When I said we should get to know each other, I sort of expected something more.... Organic than 20 questions.”

“What, my methods aren’t free-range enough for you?” Lance joked, and Keith laughed loud at that one. “Well, you should know, Keith, that I have this tendency to focus on things that I want, and I don’t give up easily.”

Keith went silent for a second. “Things you want, huh?” His voice was low.

Lance felt the heat rush to his face. “U-um.”

“Sorry,” Keith said. “Too much?”

Lance chewed his lip. “Is it too much for you?”

Keith’s tongue clicked through the headphones over Lance’s ears, and when he spoke, his voice was almost sultry. “Nah. Besides, I can be pretty driven when I want something, too.”

Dear lord, this man was going to be the death of him. Now that they’d gotten their feelings out in the open, Lance was discovering a side of Keith he never knew existed - a bold, fearless, self-assured side. And holy shit, was it hot, if a little terrifying. Whatever reservations Keith had about flirting before now were long gone, and it would still throw lance for a serious loop to hear Keith directing low key innuendo at him.

“Here’s one for you,” Keith said. “When did you first play guitar?”

“Oh!” Lance grinned. “I was nine. I had already been playing the piano for two years, but it sort of bored me. I couldn’t get it to make the kind of sound I wanted, if that makes sense? Then my dad got his old acoustic guitar out of storage and got it repaired and restrung. When he played it, I knew it was the sound I’d been trying to find.” His eyes went misty as he remembered the first time he plucked one of the steel strings. “It sounded like heaven.”

“Wow,” Keith said after a minute.

“Your turn. How’d you know you wanted to be a pilot?”

Keith hummed. “I was always sort of an adrenaline junkie as a kid. Raced go-karts, ran track, got in trouble, did some free running. I… spent a lot of time in and out of foster care, which was a pretty numbing experience, so I think maybe I was looking for something to make me feel alive.”

Lance had no idea what to say to that, so he kept quiet.

“I went on a field trip to an air force museum with my school when I was thirteen,” Keith continued. “There was a reconstructed Grumman F-14 Tomcat on display, and when I looked at it, I just thought, I need to be in one of those.” He let out a little laugh. “That’s also where I met Shiro. Or, well, he met me. When I stole his car.”

Lance choked, beating his fist on his chest to get air back into his lungs. “Excuse me?”

Then Keith laughed long and loud. “Told you. Adrenaline junkie. I was a brat with something to prove.”

Lance stared at his computer screen. This was intense, and he had a feeling that he was only scratching the surface of who Keith really was.

-----

October began, and Lance was officially panicking. Because Keith’s birthday was at the end of this month and he really wanted to do something special for it. Now that they were hovering in some bizarre “not boyfriends yet” zone, Lance figured it wouldn’t be too much to maybe go a little further than he would for a friend.

He got out his guitar, a notebook, blank music sheets, and a pencil.

——-

Lance’s channel was gaining followers rapidly. He was no stranger to having an online following, but he had to change his notification settings on twitter to keep his phone from blowing up constantly. He pondered making a separate, locked account for himself, something his friends could follow where he could drop the YouTube persona.

He was sort of envious of Keith’s anonymity online.

And speaking of Keith, there was also the issue of a potential move to Springdale. Lance had looked up schools in the area, and the local community college had a music education program that he could afford. He’d closed his browser and walked away from his laptop after he had that confirmation and spent the next fifteen minutes pacing around the living room, running his hands through his hair until it was sticking up all over the place. It hadn’t felt real until that moment; before that, the idea of going back to school and pursuing an actual career had been just that -- and idea. But now? Now he couldn’t really make excuses anymore. It was all very much within his reach. He just had to muster up the courage to go for it.

Easier said than done.

Lance ended up stress eating half a carton of butter pecan ice cream by the time Pidge came home from class.

Lance posted more Overwatch videos in the meantime, held some more streams. His content was slowing down because he’d taken an extra shift every week at the cafe to save up money. He had no idea what his living situation was going to be come January, but it was safer to assume he’d be on his own and have the money to support himself.

He talked to Keith almost every day. They’d started using facetime, and that did a number on poor Lance’s heart, to get to see Keith’s face while talking to him. Keith was still unfarily, stupidly, irrevocably attractive, even when he was flushed and sweaty from working out or covered in grime from the garage. One time Keith had called when Lance was wearing a face mask, and Lance would have been embarrassed, if it wasn’t for the absolutely hilarious confusion that crossed Keith’s face at the sight.

“I’m kind of big on skin care, if you haven’t noticed.”

“Uh.” Keith’s thick eyebrows pinched together. “I hadn’t?”

Lance smiled as much as he could with the mask drying on his face. “Well, get used to it. It’s a packaged deal with me.”

Keith gave him a little grin then, and Lance nearly swooned.

.

Another night, as they were messing around in Overwatch, the topic of tattoos came up. “Do you have more than one? Tattoo, I mean,” Lance asked while they scrolled through servers.

“Just the one,” Keith answered. “I kinda want more, but I’m not sure what I’d get. You?”

“None.” Lance hummed. “How big is that lion, anyway? I could only see the top bit at the beach.”

“Not that big,” Keith answered. Then there was some shuffling from his end of the voice chat, and he went quiet for a second. Lance thought he heard a click.

“You okay over there?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just - gimme a sec - there.”

Lance’s phone buzzed at his side. He picked it up, the motion completely automatic, to see a new text. He used his thumb print to open it, and the entire universe ground to a screeching halt.

Because on the screen was Keith’s lion tattoo, in its entirety, the dark red ink carved neatly into Keith’s exposed hip. At the bottom of the frame, a thumb was hooked into the hem of a pair of sweatpants, pulling them down and away, and at the top, a dark gray shirt was rucked up to reveal a toned stomach. Lance’s heart might have stopped. There was so much skin, all smooth and milky, stretched over a sharp hipbone, the sweatpants pulled down just enough to reveal the tiny beginnings of dark hair below. Lance’s mouth watered.

“You still there?” Keith was asking, a smile in his voice, but Lance.exe had stopped working.

“Jesus Christo,” Lance breathed. “You -- you gotta warn me before you do that.”

He heard Keith huff a little laugh. “Sorry.”

Lance had the distinct impression that Keith wasn’t sorry at all.

-----

Lance might have pulled a few all-nighters in the course of the month. But he was running out of time, and he wouldn’t be satisfied until it was perfect. This was for Keith, for his birthday, and Lance absolutely did not half ass things like that.

Pidge just rolled her eyes at him and went back to her thesis, heedless of Lance’s internal crisis as she tapped away at her laptop.

He was finally, finally ready to record on the 18th. It took at least four tries to get one good take, and then he had to record backup vocals, additional guitar, piano. It took three days to get the song right, and he didn’t even have a video. A blank screen would have to do.

He set the video to post at 8:00am the next morning, October 23. He really, really hoped Keith would see it, and Lance listened to the song one last time before he went to bed.

I was wondering through, I’d never heard your voice You were just an idea on a screen I was belly up, dried up, a fish out of water Pretending that I could breathe air

But then I met you, and my world burst into color Where was I going before you came my way I don’t know, I don’t care, and I don’t think it matters I’m just so glad that I met you

I had no direction, you handed me a map And it’s pointing me your way I hope that’s alright, ‘cause I sort of can’t help it, You’re drawing me to you, and I don’t want to stop

Because my world is all color now that you’re in it So bright and beautiful, just like your smile And no matter what happens, I want you to know Darling I am so glad that I met you.

In the description, Lance wrote “happy birthday” with a heart emoji, then clicked “schedule video” and let the fates have it. He went to bed with a nervous jitter in his veins.

The next morning, Lance was still anxious as hell, so he went for a long run through the brisk autumn air. After five miles he came home and made some coffee, as it was brewing, his phone rang.

Keith’s number was on the screen.

Lance cleared his throat and picked up. “Hey Keith!” he started, happy that the words only shook a little bit. “What’s up?”

“Hey,” Keith answered. His voice sounded strange. “I, um. I saw the video you posted.”

Lance felt his whole body flash hot as he bit his lip. “Happy Birthday, Keith.”

There was shuffling on the other end of the line. “That was for me?”

“Yeah.”

Keith was quiet for a long time. Then a sudden wet sniffle came through, and Lance felt himself panic. “Keith?”

“Sorry,” Keith’s voice cracked. “Sorry, I just--” he broke off with another sniffle, louder this time. “I’m not used to that. To people doing nice things for me.”

Oh god. Lance had made him cry. And the sound was so sad that Lance felt his own eyes sting.  “You okay?”

Keith laughed, the sound wet and strained. “Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. Just. Wow, Lance.”

“Get used to it,” Lance said softly. “I’m definitely the type for grand gestures.”

Another small laugh, then some more sniffling. “What did I do,” Keith whispered, “to deserve someone like you?”

Lance leaned against the counter top behind him, his heart hammering in his chest. “I ask myself that all the time.”

“Oh my god, stop,” Keith groaned, but Lance could hear a smile in his voice. “I have to go to work in an hour. How am I supposed to concentrate now?”

“You’re working on your birthday?”

Lance heard a grunt and the scrape of a chair. “I always do. My birthday’s never been a big deal to me. I think Shiro wants to barbeque tonight, though.”

The coffee maker beeped, and Lance poured himself a cup. “Would it be alright if I made it a big deal?”

Keith hummed. “If that’s what a big deal is to you, then I guess I’ll just have to get used to it, won’t I?”

“Yeah, I guess you will.”

-----

Pidge forwarded an email to Lance the next week. A science conference was being held in Charlotte at the end of the month, and she was going.

“I’ll probably be gone the whole weekend. I’m driving with some classmates, so you can have the apartment to yourself.” She waggled her eyebrows. “Or maybe have someone over.”

“Pidge,” Lance chided, rolling his eyes as she laughed into her coffee.

She was right, though. Lance could have someone over. Of course, there was only one ‘someone’ in mind - but would that be too fast? To ask Keith to come stay the weekend here? Alone with Lance?

His face went hot at the thought. A whole weekend alone with Keith.

They’d only been apart from each other for a little over a month, and facetime was nice and all, but Lance missed him. In person, Keith exuded this… energy that didn’t come through a phone line or internet connection. It was sort of intoxicating, making Lance want to get closer and closer. But would that be too much?

Lance mentally beat himself up for an hour before messaging Keith on discord about it.

LanceyLance Hey so Pidge is going out of town for a conference thing just after Thanksgiving. Would you want to come down here to chill? We can livestream or smth

Keith uh yeah I think that would be okay. what days

LanceyLance nov 28-30

Keith okay cool let me check some things and I’ll get back to you

Lance wondered if “almost throwing up from sheer nerves because I might get to spend a weekend alone with a hot boy” was a good reason to call into work. He went in for his shift anyway and was only slightly distracted. On his break, Lance checked his phone and found a new message from Keith on Discord.

Keith so that weekend looks okay, I put in for time off

LanceyLance cool!

Lance ruined the next three drinks, his heart in his throat.

Later that night, he got on a voice chat with Keith, his heart pounding despite him telling it over and over to calm the hell down.

“I was thinking we could do a livestream, maybe some Overwatch?” Lance said as he picked at a cuticle. “You could be my special guest.”

Keith did that little airy chuckle that made Lance shiver. “As long as you don’t ask me to sing.”

“No promises.” Biting his lip, Lance took a breath. He might as well ask. “You sure you’re okay with this? It’s not, like, moving too fast?”

Keith hummed. “No? I mean, I figured we were just gonna hang out… Why?” his voice dropped. “Did you have other plans?”

“No,” Lance squawked, cursing how his voice cracked. “No, I mean, you said you wanted to go slow, so I was just thinking we could just play some games, maybe watch a movie or go to the marina. That’s okay, right…?”

“Yeah,” Keith breathed, and Lance could hear the smile. “Yeah, that’s cool.”

A hot wash of embarrassment hit Lance, and he covered his face and groaned. Keith laughed a little. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Lance’s voice was muffled by his hands. “Yeah. I just -- jeeze. I must sound desperate or something.”

“It’s not just you,” Keith said softly. “I mean, same, I guess? I know I said I wanted to take this slow, but honestly, it’s turning out to be harder than I expected.”

The admission was unexpected and sent Lance’s blood pressure through the roof. He could already tell it was going to be a struggle to keep his hands to himself.

-----

One week until Keith’s visit. Pidge was packing her bag early and giving Lance absolute hell about it.

“Use protection,” she said, stuffing a shirt into a suitcase. Lance sputtered.

“Oh knock it off!” He shrieked. “He’s coming to hang out. That’s it!”

Pidge shot him a skeptical look as she folded a pair of jeans over her arm. “Sure, sure. Just do me a favor and disinfect any surfaces you decided to ‘hang out’ on.”

Lance threw up his arms in defeat, then went to his computer. He and Keith had already planned out their livestream, and decided it was close enough to make an announcement.

Lance! @lanceylance Hey everyone! Next Friday (11/28) I’ll be holding a livestream with special guest @k_redlion! Stream begins at 4pm eastern. Be there!!

.

Pidge left early Friday morning, and in the four hours until Keith was supposed to arrive, Lance did one of the most thorough cleanings of the apartment he’d ever done. He dusted, vacuumed, scrubbed and mopped, did laundry and the dishes, changed the sheets on his bed, washed the spare set of sheets for the pull out sofa.

Satisfied, he jumped in the shower and gave himself and equally thorough scrub down. He was all nerves as he dried off and dressed. He was admiring his handiwork in the living room when his phone buzzed.

Keith made it into town, be there in 10

Lance bounced on his heels and went outside to wait. After a few minutes, a dark blue sedan with Virginia plates pulled up and into a parking spot. The engine shut off, and the door opened to reveal Keith, in his leather jacket with his hair pulled up high.

“Nice car,” was the first thing that came out of Lance’s mouth. He internally groaned.

“Rental,” Keith said, closing the driver’s door and going for the back seat. “I love my bike, but five hours on it is a bit much, especially when it’s cold.”

Lance took Keith’s duffel bag for him and led him up to the apartment. He’d set up their streaming area in the living room where they’d be closest to the router.

“The stream isn’t for another three hours,” Lance said, setting Keith’s bag on the chair. “Wanna relax until then?”

Keith slipped out of his jacket, revealing a dark gray sweater that stretched nicely across his chest. “Sounds good. That drive is a little tiring.”

Once Lance had gotten them both glasses of water from the kitchen, they decided on YouTube fail videos, sitting next to each other on the couch, close, but not too close. Keith’s laugh was such a nice sound, and Lance couldn’t help but lean a little in his direction. After an hour’s worth of cats and people slipping and falling, Keith grunted, grimacing.

“You okay?” Lance asked.

Keith gave him a smile. “Yeah, my stomach’s kind of upset. That gas station poptart might not have been a good idea.”

Standing, Lance moved towards the kitchen. “I’ve got some pickled ginger in the fridge, would that help?”

Keith followed him. “Yeah, probably.”

As soon as Lance opened his fridge, horror dawned upon him. “I didn’t get us any stream snacks!”

“It’s not a big deal?” Keith said slowly. Lance handed him the jar of sushi ginger and shook his head.

���It totally is! We need proper junk food for streaming.” He pursed his lips and tapped his chin. “Are you okay if I hit the store? It won’t take long.”

Keith shrugged with the jar in his hand. “Yeah, I’m good. I’ll just hang out and rest.”

He showed Keith where the forks were, taking a little delight in seeing how Keith ate the ginger straight out of the jar just like he did, then grabbed his shopping bags. “I’ve got my phone, text me if you want anything!”

The drive to the store was short, and Lance sped through the aisles with a basket on his arm. Gourmet sodas, the nice veggie chips, lemon cream cookies, a package of fresh strawberries. He’d take Keith out for dinner, maybe Vinnie’s again. This weekend was going to be awesome.

On the way home, however, Lance got stuck in stand-still traffic - he could see just far enough ahead to tell there had been an accident. And there was nowhere for him to turn off to for another few hundred feet, so he was stuck. Frowning, he pulled out his phone and shot a text to Keith.

stuck in traffic, might be a little late

He put Pandora on his phone and turned up the volume, shifting his car into park.

By the time Lance made it back to the apartment, he’d been gone for more than an hour and a half. The living room was empty, but Lance went straight for the kitchen. The stream was set to start in 45 minutes, so they needed to start setting up. “Keith?” Lance called as he stashed the groceries in the fridge. “You good, man? We should get started soon.”

There was no answer.

“Keith?” Lance poked his head out of the kitchen. “You here?” He pulled his phone out of his pocket to see if he’d missed a text as he went towards the back of the apartment. Rounding a corner, Lance stopped. His phone clattered to the floor.

Just outside the bathroom, face down in the hallway, was Keith.

Lance slid on his knees towards him. “Keith!” Reaching for him, he turned Keith over, and gasped. His face was bright red, his eyes screwed shut. He was sweating profusely and burning up with a fever. “Keith!” Lance called again. “Hey, man, answer me!”

Keith’s eyes flickered. “L-lance?” he grunted, his voice weak. “It hurts, oh god Lance, it hurts so bad--”

Adrenaline was dumping into Lance’s bloodstream as he went into full panic mode. “What hurts? What’s wrong? Keith!” But Keith stopped responding, his breathing sounding wheezy and shallow.

“Shit,” Lance muttered, clutching Keith close to his chest. “Shit shit shit!”

His phone was five feet away. He should call 911. But who knows how long an ambulance would take and the hospital was five minutes away, he could get there faster on his own--

Lance had grabbed his phone and hoisted Keith into his arms before he realized it. And shit, Keith was heavy, making Lance stumble and lean against a wall more than once as he made it out of his apartment and to his car, where he dropped  Keith on the back seat.

He’d never driven so aggressively in his life.

Lance screeched to a halt outside the ER doors, and barely managed to put his car in park. He opened the back door and pulled Keith out, hooking one of Keiths’ arms around his neck and half-carrying him inside.

“Hey,” he called out. “Hey, I need some help here--”

At his side, Keith made a choking sound, then curled in on himself and vomited.

The whole world became too fast and too slow. Several nurses ran up to them, pulling Keith away. A clattering gurney was brought out. As Keith’s limp body was hoisted on to it, Lance barely registered someone talking to him, asking him what happened.

“I don’t know,” Lance’s throat was closing. “I don’t know, he was fine two hours ago--”

More questions, but Lance couldn’t hear them. All he could focus on was Keith, unconscious on a hospital stretcher, disappearing down a hallway as nurses ran beside him.

.

TO BE CONTINUED!!

(don’t worry guys, Keith is gonna be fine!! But Lance doesn’t know that OvO)

#klance #youtuber AU

[pivitor]

My Top 10 Albums of 2019

2019 will go down, for me, as the year my beloved iPod died, and I finally bit the bullet and signed up for Spotify Premium. Thus, I listened to more new music in 2019 than I ever have before, and realized how much of it I found disposable. Bands I grew up loving put out mediocre efforts, new darlings grew in directions I wasn’t interested in following, but thank god, thank god there are still plenty of terrific musicians putting out work that resonates deep within my soul. Music is subjective, so I wouldn’t dare call this a “best of” list, but below are the ten new releases of 2019 that I listened to the most, vibed with the most, that just plain ol’ meant the most to me this year.

(PS: Don’t think too much about the exact order and ranking here. It changed multiple times even as I was writing this. What really matters is that all ten of these records rule)

10. Radar State -- Strays

Radar State are the Avengers of the early 2000s mid-west emo scene -- a band combining The Get Up Kids’ Matt Pryor and Jim Suptic, The Anniversary’s Josh Berwanger, and The Architects’ Adam Phillips into a single supergroup. Pryor has described the project as “just having fun with [his] friends,” and that dynamic shines through loud and clear in Strays. It’s like each member is pushing the next to just create the catchiest song they possibly can, and the competition leads to great results; Pryor favors fast and sloppy punk and Berwanger moody earworms that fuse themselves into your brain through sheer repetition, but it’s Suptic who fulfills that edict best with his shiny, addictive pop love songs. Radar State never quite hits the emotional highs of its members’ main projects, but that was never the point in the first place; Strays is just fun from front to back, and it’s an album I’ve returned to consistently throughout the entirety of 2019.

Highlights: Making Me Feel, Self-Hurt Guru, Artificial Love

9. The Early November -- Lilac

Lilac is an album about learning from your mistakes and making a conscious choice to be better, and it’s a theme, an ethos that truly defines this release on every level. The Early November originally planned to release Lilac back in 2018, but ended up scrapping the original recording and going back to the drawing board, knowing that they could do better, and funneling that ambition, all their lessons learned, into their most ambitious release outside of The Mother, The Maker, and the Path (“but less self-indulgent,” I say with love). Horns, piano, and a wide variety of tempos spice up the proceedings, and the lyrics are more raw and honest than ever, but Lilac’s greatest weapon is the vocals, which Ace Enders wields with virtuoso skill. He plays with different cadences and deliveries, giving every song a unique feel, moving from soft and pleasant (“Perfect Sphere [Bubble]”) to menacing (“My Weakness”), from the joy of “Ave Maria” to the cathartic, powerhouse vocal explosion of “Hit By A Car (Euphoria)” to the pure, crackling, barely contained emotional breakdown threatening to burst right out of the chorus of “Our Choice.” There’s no other vocalist out there quite like Ace Enders -- and no other record quite like Lilac.

Highlights: Hit By A Car (In Euphoria), Ave Maria, Comatose

8. Magazine Beach -- Sick Day (EP)

Most year-end lists probably overlooked this record, a debut four-song EP from a small DIY band released in mid-December, and man oh man are those critics missing out. Sick Day isn’t just the biggest and best musical surprise I received all year, but quite possibly the most fun I had listening to music in 2019. Seriously, I played this on loop probably two dozen times the day I discovered it, and spent that evening forcing friends to listen to it too. Magazine Beach’s tongue-in-cheek lyrics, gonzo riffs, and stunning background harmonies are combined with vocals whose flatter, sardonic tone initially masks, but soon reveals their perfect cadence and quick crackles of emotion; they’re as close to a perfect pop-punk package as I heard all year, with their quirky, relatable songs about flaky friends, overstuffed social calendars, and other mid-twenties challenges filling that gaping Modern-Baseball-You’re-Gonna-Miss-It-All-shaped hole in my heart. If this had released earlier in the year, and I’d had more time to see how long it truly stuck with me, it might have placed far, far higher on this list, but either way I look forward to carrying this album forward with me into 2020, and I look forward to following Magazine Beach’s future career closely. I think they could go places.

Highlight: Living Room

7. Masked Intruder -- III

It’s easy to look at Masked Intruder and think that they’re more of an act than a band, just because they’re so good at playing hardened-yet-harmless criminals on stage, at enchanting an audience with their antics and banter alone. Thankfully, they’re equally skilled as musicians as they are performers; III isn’t just quick content for their live shows, but an entertaining, addictive, artfully made pop-punk record in its own right. Okay, maybe pop-punk is a bit too restrictive a descripter -- between the doo-wop, call-and-response harmonies and the raging riffs and solos, III sometimes sounds like a modern spin on sixties rock and roll, which is something I did not know I needed but absolutely needed. The lyrics never break kayfabe, but there’s some real clever stuff going on beneath the surface of these silly crime-themed love songs; contrasting the creepiness of Blue’s romantic pursuits with the shenanigans of a typical radio love song shows how few differences there actually are between the two, how creepy the entire genre is when you stop to give it any thought. It’s thoughtful and subversive without ever being preachy, just one more spinning plate kept perfectly balanced in the act that is III.

Highlights: Not Fair, Maybe Even, I’m Free (At Last)

6. Martha -- Love Keeps Kicking

Martha’s secret weapon is the empathy and compassion their songs cultivate for their subjects. Love Keeps Kicking is an album largely about the way love can kick you when you’re down, yet throughout the album Martha never villainizes even the bad actors in relationships. “Into This” finds the narrator jerked around by a potential partner who just won’t clarify what they are to each other, but the song isn’t out to attack the partner, simply to get a solid answer. Likewise, “Love Keeps Kicking” lays out a myriad of detailed complaints about romance and relationships, not to insult, but simply to find a way to endure them. “Orange Juice” rues the way the narrator diluted their partner just by being with them, showing impressive (and heartbreaking) levels of self-awareness. That kind of emotional maturity and complexity makes the true love songs (“Sight For Sore Eyes,” “Wrestlemania VIII”) all the more joyous, and makes their social commentary (“Mini Was A Preteen Arsonist”) that much more effective. Martha are a wonderfully catchy, fun band filled with great harmonies and British twang, but it’s their earnest, compassionate storytelling that truly made me fall in love with them, and with Love Keeps Kicking.

Highlights: Wrestlemania VIII, Love Keeps Kicking, Orange Juice

5. Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties -- Routine Maintenance

Hot take (?) incoming: Dan Campbell is the best songwriter of our generation. I already sang his praises pretty thoroughly last year when discussing my favorite album of 2018, but Routine Maintenance is just further proof of this truth, almost Campbell flexing. The previous Aaron West record was a character study of the worst year of a man’s life, but Routine Maintenance expands Aaron’s world in terms of scope, characters, and themes, all to the project’s (and character’s) benefit. The record is a tale of redemption, taking Aaron from rock bottom to a new place of security, all through the power of friendship and community, the power of music, and the power of family, of fulfilling your responsibilities to them, of finding your role and your home wherever you are, with the people who care about you, with people you can make proud. They’re themes Campbell has been exploring throughout his entire career, but brought down to a more personal level, and somehow that makes them hit harder than ever, perhaps because it makes the way they can fit into any listener’s life that much clearer. I’ve cried listening to this album. I’ve cried hearing these songs live. There’s true, true catharsis on Routine Maintenance, and it’s because Campbell’s taken Aaron West on a real journey, and it’s one I feel blessed to have been able to follow.

Highlights: Runnin’ Toward the Light, Rosa & Reseda, Winter Coats

4. Pkew Pkew Pkew -- Optimal Lifestyles

Pkew Pkew Pkew’s 2016 self-titled debut was an album told solely in the present tense, not worried about the future, but simply about the drinks, pizza, skateboarding, and parties to be had right here, right now. It was a blisteringly fun, gang-vocals filled powerhouse of a record that solidified Pkew Pkew Pkew as one of my new favorite bands. Optimal Lifestyles, though, is an album that has started to look back, if only to question the present. Are they still content to be these same fun-loving, hard-drinking party guys? Ultimately, as proven by lyrics such as “Shred until you’re dead, or until you break your wrist again” and “We lead thirsty little lives, and all we want’s another,” the answer they come to is a resounding “yes,” but the journey they take to find that answer not only makes it feel earned, but opens Pkew Pkew Pkew to some exciting new songwriting avenues, be it the touching introspection of “Drinkin’ Days” or the surprisingly beautiful nostalgia of “Everything’s the Same” (or even the more raucous nostalgia of “Mt. Alb,” for that matter). Don’t let words like “introspection” and “beautiful” scare you, though -- The Boys still rock as hard as ever, as the wailing, chugging guitars and even a totally rockin’ saxophone solo fully attest to (though I do miss all the gang vocals). And I’d be remiss to not mention “I Wanna See A Wolf,” an absolute songwriting clinic. In only a minute and nineteen seconds, Pkew Pkew Pkew takes a simple statement -- “I wanna see a wolf” -- and unravels it until it reveals a song about longing for freedom from the careers that cage our lives, even when they’re our dream. I don’t know if Pkew Pkew Pkew could have written this song three years ago. Talk about growth.

Highlights: I Wanna See A Wolf, Point Break, Adult Party

3. The Get Up Kids -- Problems

After their most popular record -- 1999’s Something To Write Home About -- the Get Up Kids’ next three albums all went on to be incredibly divisive among their fans. While all three records showed significant creative growth, none really sounded like what came before (personally, I very much enjoyed two of those records -- sorry, There Are Rules -- but I guess I’m not most fans). Problems, though, sounds like the natural evolution of Something To Write Home About without ever feeling derivative of it -- it sounds more like “the Get Up Kids” than anything the Get Up Kids have released in over a decade, which is an incredibly exciting thing let me tell you. Yet, Problems still benefits from everything the band has learned in that time: there’s new introspection (“The Problem Is Me”), a wider storytelling scope (“Lou Barlow”), and a shift from wallowing in their own pain to examining the pain of others (“Satellite,” which Matt Pryor has said is based on one of his sons). Problems also manages to pack in absolute bangers like “Fairweather Friends,” sensitive, tender ballads like “The Advocate,” and mid-tempo jams like “Salina,” a guaranteed future Emo classic that threatens to dethrone the Kids’ own “Central Standard Time” as The Quintessential Emo Song. Problems is the synthesis of just about everything that has ever made the Get Up Kids special, and it not only makes for one of the year’s best albums, but one of the Get Up Kids’ best as well.

Highlights: Fairweather Friends, Lou Barlow, Salina

2. PUP -- Morbid Stuff

The A-Side of Morbid Stuff is perfect -- a legitimately flawless five song stretch of punk rock that continues to blow my mind almost ten months after its release. The unmistakable opening notes of “Morbid Stuff”; that irresistible background riff from the bridge returning in “Kids’” second chorus, combined with some of the most nihilisticly romantic lyrics I’ve ever heard; the raucous sing-along that is “Free At Last”; the purest, most undiluted diss-track of the year in “See You At Your Funeral”; and, finally, the best song of the year bar none, “Scorpion Hill,” a sonic journey through multiple musical genres, telling a story of uniquely American misery that legitimately moves me to tears. The B-Side doesn’t quite live up to these first five tracks -- there’s a couple stand-outs (“Bare Hands” needs to make it into a live set pronto), a couple songs more interesting in concept than execution (sorry, “Full Blown Meltdown”), and a few more perfectly fine, standard PUP tunes (and I swear I don’t mean that as an insult!) -- but, well, how could it ever really have anyway? All together, it still makes for an outrageously enjoyable album that reaches the upper echelons of what 2019’s new music had to offer. That PUP was not only such a terrific band right out of the gate, but has remained so this far into their career, makes me so, so happy.

Highlights: Scorpion Hill, Kids, Free At Last

1. The Menzingers -- Hello Exile

It took me a few listens -- and, truthfully, seeing it played live -- to truly crack this album. At first it was a bit too slow, the vocals a bit too filtered, but once it clicked, I lived and breathed Hello Exile and nothing else for months. The slightly slower pace gives the Menzingers a chance to play around with some new musical tricks, be it the back-and-forth opening or the fun background guitar melodies of “Strangers Forever” or the almost hypnotic vocal melodies in the choruses of “Portland” or “Hello Exile,” and they pay off with great effect. Lyrically the Menzingers are at the top of their game; tracks like “High School Friend” and “Strain Your Memory” are more adept than ever at painting stories that make you nostalgic for a life you never even lived, but absolutely feel like you have, and lines like “it only hurts til’ it doesn’t” hit your heart with sniper-like precision. “Anna” may be the quintessential Menzingers song, a tale of longing, love, and location that drove the entire scene into a frenzy that still hasn’t subsided. “Farewell Youth” is the best closing track the Menzingers have ever released, a song about grief in multiple forms that manages to find poignant takes on each and every one of them. I’m not yet sure whether Hello Exile is the beginning or the end of a chapter for the Menzingers, but either way, it’s clearly an essential and unmissable part of their story, and one I feel privileged to be able to experience.

Highlights: Anna, Strangers Forever, Farewell Youth

#pivitor #the menzingers #pup the band #the get up kids #aaron west and the early twenties #pkew pkew pkew #martha #masked intruder #magazine beach #the early november #radar state

[johannesviii]

Top 12 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2000

This was the hardest list to make so far, so yeah, it’s a top twelve because I felt disgusting cutting the last two songs. Oh well. Screw the rules.

I turned 12 that year! I had my own cd player, which was also a radio! I could make tapes and burn cds. I could even BUY cds too if I saved all my money for a couple of months! School wasn’t great, because of some bullies, but I still had some friends. I loved Pokemon and drawing in the park. Life felt good.

Music had never sounded better.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

Not gonna lie, this list changed A LOT over the course of this post and I had to rearrange it several times. And then I gave up and changed it into a top 12. Also, this list of honorable mentions could almost make it a top 20 since several of these (half of them, actually) were on the top at some point.

All the small things (Blink 182) - I’m really glad these guys are still around today, to be honest. They always make me smile when I hear their new songs on the radio.

The Riddle (Gigi d’Agostino) - Love it, but it loses some of its appeal without the music video.

Lady (Modjo) - I claim overplay for this cut.

L’Alizé (Alizée) - More on that later.

Move your body (Eiffel 65) - Would have made the list in a more mediocre year, I swear.

Optimistique-moi (Mylène Farmer) - I literally said “self-care” before making this cut. Also the music video is great, it’s an artist trying to escape from some sort of nightmare circus, and a magician helps her. Very underrated music video.

Music (Madonna) - The most painful cut of all. I absolutely loved this song and how weird and disjointed and broken it sounded, and had it on several tapes. And yet there’s no room for it even with a top 12.

And now, the actual list. Warning: it starts with a curveball.

12 - J’pète les plombs (Disiz La Peste)

US: Not on the list / FR: #29

A French rap song about a guy losing his job and being stuck in traffic and subsequently going postal.

Here’s the kicker, though. This guy was rapping for my city, and this music video was filmed mostly in the estate I was living in at the time! That McDonalds at the beginning? It was across the street! That bus stop was in front of high school! Heck, I painted the rocks in that park at the end several times already!

And it became a huge hit!! You have no idea how excited we were in middle school. Everyone knew the lyrics (translation here)! Even if some parts were very rude! We still loved it! We were quoting the entirety of the McDonalds part where the guy wants an egg in his sandwich and is ready to fire a harpoon to get it. “Désolé, il est midi et après midi eh ben l’mac morning c’est fini” was a goddamn meme here.

It would probably have been less funny if the singer didn’t look like a cute nerd, it turns the music video into a hilarious parody. Especially because instead of a gun, he’s menacing people with a harpoon, a giant wooden hammer and a water pistol.

Legends only.

11 - One More Time (Daft Punk)

US: Not on the list / FR: #30

Around the World was a repetitive song, and while I kinda liked it, I didn’t quite get the hype around it at the time. But One More Time is a huge party, and everybody is invited, and all the drama stays at the door, and everyone just has a great time. And it has one of the most fitting music videos ever.

It’s a monster of a song, and even if it’s still a bit too repetitive to be listened to on a loop, it was a delight everytime it was on the radio. And it still is! Godspeed, Daft Punk.

10 - Innamoramento (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #91

I really, really tried to keep her off the list. And I failed. Innamoramento, the album, is one of my favorite albums of one of my favorite French artists ever and I’m weak, and out of the five (five) singles out of that album, I only managed to leave two out of my top 10 lists.

This sounds absolutely fantastic. There’s no way I could kick it off the list, even to make room for a guy who was rapping for my estate. And not even for goddamn Daft Punk.

Kill me now.

9 - Absolutely (Nine Days)

US: #35 / FR: Not on the list

I discovered this song in 2008 through a Silent Hill 3 AMV about Heather. Yeppppp. It’s here, and it’s still great 11 years later, and I love it, and this song was so good I put it on my playlist immediately and it stayed on it for several years.

The lyrics never really deliver their promise of telling a “story”, but it’s still a fantastic, bouncy, uplifting song, and it made my world better, and I have to thank that ephemeral band for that.

And I especially loved the very brief pause before the last “girl” in the song. Very relatable.

8 - J’en rêve encore (De Palmas)

US: Not on the list / FR: #27

Listen. I have no idea what’s up with these specific chords, but they are the sound of a weird mix of nostalgia, anger and above all, discomfort. No other song has the exact colors this one has and no other broadcasts this very specific mixed feeling.

Too bad the lyrics are yet another breakup song, or more specifically a post-breakup song (even if the lyrics are very, very good ; I just checked who wrote them and it’s Jean-Jacques Goldman. I had no idea but now, I can definitely hear it), because the music is really something else. At least to me. Is anyone else hearing this?

7 - The Real Slim Shady (Eminem)

US: #51 / FR: #28

Wow. Would you look at that. The ex angsty angry teenager loved Eminem. What a surprise, uh.

To be honest, I already genuinely liked this song as a kid even if I could only understand a few isolated parts and words, and the fact that this guy was pissed off and clearly being offensive, possibly towards everyone, was enough.

Now that I can understand the lyrics entirely, I obviously don’t endorse all of them (like the very backhanded argument for gay marriage. Jesus), but I can’t help it, this song still kicks ass. It would be dishonest to leave it out of the list. I loved it so much at the time. And I still enjoy it a lot.

6 - Natural Blues (Moby)

US: Not on the list. Not on any US year-end list actually. I thought it was big everywhere but no. What happened. / FR: #49

There’s overplay, and then there’s “I keep hearing this song everywhere and yet I can never get enough of it, and I will sing it at school, and I will put it on tapes, and I will listen to it even when it’s not on the radio.”

If you asked me what the year 2000 sounded like, it sounded like Natural Blues. I genuinely can’t believe it’s not on the US year-end chart.

5 - Around the World (ATC)

US: Not on the list / FR: #48

This has no right being this catchy without ever, ever becoming annoying. What kind of evil pact did you make to get this result. How.

4 - Jeune et Con (Saez)

US: Not on the list / FR: #70

The title is “Young and Stupid”. It’s an extremely angry song against the establishment. Didn’t pay a lot of attention to it when it came out because well, I was 12, but I would drink up this kind of angry, angsty song only three/four years later. It has aged like fine wine too and feels like the ultimate ‘Ok Boomer’ song ; here’s a translation. It is brutal. You’re welcome.

If I had better taste this would be above the next two songs.

3 - Daddy DJ (Daddy DJ)

US: Not on the list / FR: #5

As I said in the intro, I started to BUY music that year. I could pick what I wanted to own, as long as my parents thought the cds were appropriate.

So I went to the nearest record store. It was called “Madison” and had a chrome aesthetic, with neons and fluorescent 90s shit everywhere, and banners with band names on it, and somewhat menacing posters (the Iron Maiden ones looked scary). It was very intimidating.

And so, 12 years old Johannes, under dad’s supervision, picked the cd they wanted above all the other cds in the shop knowing THAT one wouldn’t make anyone angry at home, went towards the desk, slapped a lot of coins on it, and bought this, trying to look as fierce and determined a 12 y.o can, which isn’t much.

It still slaps nearly twenty years later and I don’t regret a single thing. That’s all I have to say about Daddy DJ by Daddy DJ.

So I was making this list, feeling pretty good about putting Mylène Farmer so low on it, and I was like oh wow, I genuinely love all these other songs more than the two she released that year! This feels great. This is healing. This is progress. It also means the most controversial things on the list are a nerd threatening people with a water pistol and Eminem spouting his usual bullshit empty provocations. No big deal. It’s okay! Moving on.

What was the French #1 for that year, by the way? I can’t rememb-

OH SHIT OH F█CK

OH NO

2 - Moi Lolita (Alizée)

US: Not on the list / FR: #1

Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.

Mylène Farmer wrote this for Alizée. Screw the entire universe. I want her off my lists but I can’t because I need to make them honestly.

“I’m not a sucker, I never bought the album AND I never bought these singles in a SHOP, I got them in a garage sale the next year for less that a quarter of the price”, says the person who is, in fact, clearly and definitely a sucker.

How can a song be so horribly catchy and horribly controversial at the same time. HOW. It’s unfair. For some context about how controversial this is if you’re an English speaker, this is what would happen if Bad Guy by Billie Eilish was the catchiest shit in the world. This was almost #1 on my list before I noticed my actual #1 song made it pretty high on the French year-end list despite being mysteriously absent from the US one.

Also I’m glad the music video provides a mostly harmless context: this girl is supposed to babysit her little sister, but she went dancing in a club. And the little sister is looking after her instead. I’m saying “mostly” harmless because there’s that creepy guy who keeps watching her, as if the story was saying “you should not do this and you are putting yourself in danger and this will end horribly”. Which is a sentiment I can definitely get behind, and at the time, I was already highly skeptical about the message this song was sending even if I loved it. I’m just judging that through the comments I was writing next to it on my “favorite songs” lists (”leave your little sister out of this, Alizée”):

Bonus: most relatable comment on the video by a mile.

Same, my dude.

This is why the first album I bought was Daddy DJ and not that one or, uh, the next one.

1 - Stan (Eminem)

US: Not on the list either?? What happened. Why / FR: #18

This song actually created a new English verb. Think about that for a second.

Also, until the end of my life, I will wonder why people suddenly decided, a couple of years ago, than “to stan” now meant “admiring a lot and being a huge fan of” instead of “being a creepy obsessed stalker and possibly dangerous”.

Anyhow.

I couldn’t understand one tenth of the lyrics at the time this was a hit, but I still sneakily put it on my tapes. I knew my parents disapproved. Oh, I liked it. I loved it. I adored it.

I was also terrified of it.

One of the only lines I clearly understood with my limited English was the “I’m your biggest fan” line, and how increasingly dangerous the guy sounded, and that Eminem was trying to answer him at the end but it was too late and he had already done some horrible shit.

This is a horror story in song form, it stays with you long after it’s over every time you listen to it, and it’s a rare and precious thing.

I’m still genuinely terrified after all these years, though.

Next up: another mix of embarrassing shit and valid stuff

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw

[hrkrkrwpfrbrbrlablblblblwhitooap]

what I listened to while drawing the draw tom challenge day 8:

Thomas Midgley Jr. and a Pope Infestation

Hail Cannons and Operation Popeye

Fatboy Slim - Slash Dot Dash

Almost the entirety of PENIS MUSIC (1 HOUR) (PERFECTLY LOOPED) as well as the song it comes from

[onestowatch]

Is Jakey Ready to Be the Next Joji?

The first video of Jakey’s, or NakeyJakey as some of you may know him, which I ever stumbled upon was a suggested YouTube video titled “Rockstar’s Game Design is Outdated.” The longform video essay was not only a well-thought-out critique of one of the year’s biggest video games –Red Dead Redemption 2– but the catalyst that would lead me down a rabbit hole for the next few days. The exit to that rabbit hole would end with me having binged pretty much the entirety of the South Dakota Native’s content.

Yet, even after hours of making my way through Nakey Jakey’s entire filmography, it was not the clear adoration for Halo’s legacy or the wealth of childhood nostalgia on display that played on repeat in my head; it was a three-minute-and-forty-second music video. “Not Dead Yet,” the music video in question, sees Jakey making a serious foray into the world of music, and with it, the South Dakota native manages to simultaneously explore themes and sounds wholly foreign and familiar to anything he has created in the past.

“Not Dead Yet” may not be Jakey’s first official music venture, but it certainly feels like his most accomplished to date. The first single from the artist in over two years follows “Moby Dick,” a Melvillean tale of self-loathing built over ominous hip-hop production. While the hip-hop inspirations remain in his latest outing, Jakey seems unwilling to stick to the typical conventions of the genre, or any genre for that matter. Elements of lo-fi, darkwave, R&B, electronica permeate Jakey’s bittersweet musings and bars to create a sonic offering that is quite like anything else out there, in spite of its wide arrange of influences.

As I let “Not Dead Yet” play on loop in the background at this very moment, it is difficult to not draw comparisons to a similar YouTuber turned viral artist. The past couple years saw Joji go from Internet personality “Filthy Frank” to an artist who is genuinely leaving an innovative mark on the world of music at large. In many ways, Joji paved the way for artists aiming to leave their past YouTube personas behind in order to pursue an authentic musical career. While the parallels to Joji may abound, “Not Dead Yet” raises as an important differentiation–we don’t think Jakey is aiming to sacrifice one creative output for the other.

The internet at large, a noted love for video games, childhood nostalgia, and cultlike obsessions are at the core of much of NakeyJakey’s content, including “Not Dead Yet.” The song itself is built around a sample from cult anime Berserk and features samples from both the video games Golden Eye 007 and The Legend of Zelda’s Majora Mask. While those production details may be missed by the majority of listeners, it is impossible to ignore the inspiration behind the accompanying visual.

Donning thick black eyeliner and fishnet sleeves, Jakey appears as much more than a dancing Hot Topic ad. He is paying homage to one of the Internet’s most iconic moments, a group of cybergoths dancing under a freeway underpass. The potentially obscure reference creates a surreal moment of bewilderment for those unfamiliar and a sense of inherent nostalgia for those readily familiar with the iconic arm flailing and knee breaking. And considering the video for “Not Dead Yet” has racked up well over a million plays in a matter of weeks, chances are it is safe to say Jakey’s formula is working.

In many ways, it makes perfect sense that I first stumbled upon one of my new favorite musical discoveries from a critique of Red Dead Redemption 2’s open-world mechanics. More than just the same game that laid the groundwork for the meteoric rise of Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” to become the most popular song in history, it is continued proof that the avenues to music discovery are no longer solely in the hands of major labels or gatekeepers. The future of music belongs to people like Joji and Jakey–the ones actually creating the content and music worth consuming.  

#jakey #nakeyjakey #not dead yet #new artist discovery #hip hop #lofi #R&B #electronic #joji