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lostl1sbons1ster · 3 days

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saddnesscentral · 24 hours

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Harry Du Bois Discovers The Concept Of Furries, A Short Passage By Me:

RADIO-COMPUTER: After browsing the contents of the *World Wide Web* for around half an hour, you stumble across a particularly unusual image.

FURRY ART: It is a painting rendered *Digitally* of a wolf, or maybe a hyena, standing on two legs, and using two human-like hands to grip onto things with. It appears to be wearing modern Human clothes, such as a tank top, shorts, bracelet, hat, and piercings. It is carrying a skateboard.

PERCEPTION [EASY:SUCCESS]: “It is rendered in a style distantly reminiscent of cartoons you enjoyed as a child. It is obvious that it took a lot of effort to draw something in this style.”

SHIVERS [CHALLENGING:SUCCESS]: “It is a rainy afternoon, somewhere in Martinese, a child is taken to the theater with his parents to see the new animated hit ‘The Wolf and The Warrior’.”

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [MEDIUM:SUCCESS]: “Forget about all of that, you see that ciggie in the wolf's mouth? That’s clearly a sign you need to go out there and *Smoke* some *Gokes*”

YOU: “Wait, what’s a"Goke "?"

ELECTROCHEMISTRY: “An interesting question. It would be a lot easier to solve with a cigarette in your mouth…”

YOU: *Refocus on the Furry Art*

ENCYCLOPEDIA [MEDIUM: FAILURE]: You have absolutely no memory of what this could possibly be. Nothing. You do remember that Contact Mike once scored a TKO during the first fifteen seconds of a boxing match, however.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [IMPOSSIBLE: FAILURE]: “Why? Why would anyone draw something like this?”

RHETORIC [CHALLENGING: SUCCESS]: “Mayhaps the artist is attempting to create an Ideological message through this work. It is stating that we, man, are no better beasts.”

YOU: “No, it probably isn’t that.”

AUTHORITY [MEDIUM: SUCCESS]: “It is the artists attempt at stating that they are the *Alpha Dog*. The head of their pack.”

YOU: No, it’s not that either.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [EASY; SUCCESS]: “Don’t you see? The artist was horny for some Wolf Cock. Look at that bulge in the wolfs pants. Look at how toned those muscles are. The attention to detail the artist poured into the wolfs *Physique*. You have felt this feeling for someone before, but only for other Three-Dimensional people.”

YOU: “Oh god, is it that?”

EMPATHY [TRIVIAL: SUCCESS]: “You do not know the person who made this. It is impossible to say whether or not the artist *was* horny or not.”

VOLITION [CHALLENGING: SUCCESS]: “If you could talk to this artisan, you would certainly be able to figure this out. Until then, recenter yourself. Talk to Kim about it.”

YOU: *Turn and talk to Kim*

KIM KITSURAGI: The Lieutenant glances over at you on the Radio-Computer. His characteristic expression of placid calm is momentarily shaken by what is on the computer monitor.

EMPATHY [MEDIUM: SUCCESS]: He isn’t disgusted by what he sees you doing, merely surprised.

YOU: “Kim, do you know what this drawing means?”

KIM KITSURAGI: The Lieutenant adjusts his glasses “It appears that you are looking at Furry Art. It’s a… unique subculture of people mostly on the World Wide Web. These people enjoy anthropomorphic animals, like the ones in old cartoons.

YOU: “By enjoy do you mean, like, in a sex way?”

ESPIRIT DU CORPS: “This man you are talking to would take a bullet for you. He would die for you. He would *kill* for you. You are the black to his white, the ying to his yang. You complete each other. But the Lieutenant would rather drag his balls through glass than have this conversation with you.”

KIM KITSURAGI: He sighs “I personally do not, but I know there are members of the community that do, yes.”

REACTION SPEED [IMPOSSIBLE: SUCCESS]: “Wait! Did you hear that? The way he’s phrased that response, it’s as if he’s implied that he’s a furry.”

YOU: “What do you mean ‘you personally do not’? Are you implying you are a furry?”

KIM KITSURAGI: He stands there, unable to speak for a moment.

EMPATHY [TRIVIAL: SUCCESS]: “He’s thinking ‘Dear god, the human can opener’s gotten to me too.’”

KIM KITSURAGI: “Yes…I am in the Furry subculture. I…enjoy thinking of myself as a cat.”

CONCEPTUALIZATION [EASY: SUCCESS]: “A cat; lithe, sophisticated, agile. The perfect creature to represent our lieutenant.”

AUTHORITY [MEDIUM: SUCCESS]: “He is handling this well, despite everything. A graceful surrender if there ever was one.”

KIM KITSURAGI: “I fail to see what this has to do with the case at hand. It’s better if we keep moving and don’t mention this to anyone again.”

SUGGESTION [VERY EASY: SUCCESS]: That’s his professional way of saying “Take my secret to the grave, please”.

YOU: “One more thing, Kim, am *I* a furry?”

KIM KITSURAGI: The lieutenant looks you up and down “You will have to be the judge of that yourself, I suppose.”