#literally sooooo good just cried at the ending . literally nothing can compare | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

watchyourbluesturngolden · 3 years

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matching tattoos

warnings: none

word count: 1.8k (the longest i’ve done in a while whoo 🎉)

"Stevie, I don't think your mom will be too happy with me if I let you do this," Harry said, eying his two year old daughter. She had been asking about it for weeks, but so far he'd been able to distract her before you caught wind of their conversation.

"Pleeeease, daddy?" She pouted, looking up at him with wide eyes.

"Why don't we have some cookies instead, love?"

"No."

"Ummm... oh! I know what we can do! Why don't we go in my studio? You can play the piano, or the guitar, maybe sing a song for me..." He trailed off.

"I want to do this! Please?"

Harry's heart melted in three seconds flat. How could he say no to her? He tried, he really did. He opened his mouth to say "no, mommy will really kill me, why don't we do something else?" but one glance at her sweet face left him speechless. He couldn't do it. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Alright, we'll do it... but!" He cut himself off, raising his voice slightly to be heard over her excited cheering. "But! We only have two hours til mommy gets home." She nodded eagerly, bouncing on her feet.

"And if we do this it has to be our secret, mommy can't know. Can you keep this secret?" He said, making a very serious face.

"Yes!" She squealed, giggling.

"Pinky promise?"

She beamed, holding her tiny hand up to his. He wrapped his finger around hers, squeezing for just a second before releasing her.

"Go get the markers then, we have to work fast!"

Stevie screamed in excitement, running as fast as her little legs could carry her. He heard her digging around the art room, probably making a huge mess, before he heard a scraping noise on the wood floor. She was pushing a box of markers that was nearly as big as she was, groaning dramatically.

"It's... too... heavy," she panted. "Please help!"

Harry smiled, leaning down to pick up the box. He scooped her up too, settling them both down on the table.

"Alright, Miss Styles," he said, adapting a posh accent. "This is a proper tattoo parlor, so we shall do this properly, hm?"

She laughed, kicking her feet.

"I want the mermaid!" She said, pointing to the ink on his forearm.

"Patience, Miss Styles," He smiled, wetting a paper towel under the faucet. "First, we have to get your arm ready!"

She held out her arm, tracing her little fingers over his other tattoos as he wiped her wrist with the cloth.

"So, the mermaid, hm? You have excellent taste, Miss Stevie," he joked, throwing the towel back to the sink. "What color?"

"Black, like yours," she said, smiling sweetly.

He felt his heart squeezing as he reached for a black marker. She was so precious. He would do anything, literally anything, to make her happy. He knew it was probably dangerous, how much power this two year old had over him, but he didn't care. He had been in love with her since the day she was born; since the first time he had looked at her.

"We can match, look at that!" He said, beginning to draw on her arm. "Did you know that I love you sooooo much?"

"I love you too, daddy," she giggled. "And that tickles!"

"Oh, it tickles, does it? Should I stop?" He hovered the marker over her skin, glancing at her teasingly.

"No!" She yelled. "I want to match you!"

"Alright then," He said, laughing as he went back to his task. "Why don't we listen to some music?"

"Yeah!"

"What should we listen to?"

"Your song, the fire!"

"The fire?" Harry looked up, confused. "None of my songs have fire in them, bug."

"Yes," she said stubbornly. "And the fish!"

Harry thought for a second before it clicked. "Do you mean Adore You?"

"That one!"

"You're right," He laughed. "That one does talk about fire. I'll get it, yeah?"

He set down the marker, picking up his phone. After a minute, she was dancing in her seat to the drums of Adore You. When the chorus came on, she sang "walk through fire for you" while looking at Harry triumphantly.

"Did you know this song is about mommy?" He said, focusing on his drawing.

"Really?" She asked incredulously, eyes wide.

"Really! It's about how much I love her."

"Yucky," She said, scrunching her nose.

"Yucky? That's not yucky!" he exclaimed. "It's nice!"

Stevie hummed, kicking her feet along with the music.

"It's yucky."

"Stevie, you're hurting my feelings!" He said, gasping and clutching his chest dramatically. "I can't go on," he sighed, throwing his other arm over his forehead. "I'm sorry, daddy," She giggled, reaching up to pull his arm back to her. "Keep going!"

He smiled, adding the finishing touches to her drawing.

"And... there we go! One mermaid, just for you."

She beamed, holding her arm next to his to compare.

"Daddy... your mermaid has no clothes. She needs some."

"How about you draw her a shirt?" Harry laughed, handing her the marker. She furrowed her brow, focusing intently on her task.

"Good job staying in the lines, love!" He said, ignoring the scribbles around the outline. "And you were right, it does tickle."

"I know!" She laughed, giving the marker back.

"What now?"

"The... the heart!" She said, pointing the the small filled in shape on his upper arm.

"Sure, that's an easy one."

He proceeded to give her at least ten more matching "tattoos", including a cross, an anchor, a poorly drawn rose, and the green bay packers logo.

"Daddy!" She gasped. "I have a idea!"

"What's your idea, princess?"

"The butterfly! On my belly!"

"You want a butterfly on your belly?" He asked, lifting his shirt to show her his. "Like this?"

"Yes!" She clapped. "Like that!"

They were having the time of their lives, drawing and singing as loud as they could to all of Harry's songs. He loved watching her face every time he finished drawing. Her eyes would light up and she would pull his arm to hers, showing him how they matched. Every time a new song came on she would squeal and kick her legs because "it's my favorite song!"

They had just finished making silly noises together at the end of "Sunflower" when Harry heard a noise. He froze with the marker on her arm, looking up quickly.

He reached over to pause the music, holding a finger to his lips when she whined at him. He glanced at the clock, hoping he was just imagining things. You weren't supposed to be home for another hour. But no, that was definitely the sound of the front door opening, followed by your voice calling out a greeting.

"Mommy!" Stevie shrieked, launching herself off the table.

"No!" Harry hissed, grabbing her before she could run off. "Stevie, we have to wash this off!"

He scooped her up, running up the stairs to the bathroom.

"Harry?" You called out. That was weird. You could have sworn you heard them in the kitchen. "Stevie?"

"We're- we're upstairs, love!" Harry yelled back. "Just cleaning up!"

Cleaning what? You wondered, but didn't dwell on it for too long. It had rained recently, so they had probably gotten muddy outside.

You made your way to the kitchen with the grocery bags, beginning to put everything away. Then you saw the box of markers. You narrowed your eyes, confused when you realized there was no paper around. What had they been drawing on?

Up in the bathroom, Harry was starting to panic. He had set Stevie up on the counter while he was rubbing at the ink with a washcloth.

"It's not coming off! Why isn't it coming off? The box said washable!"

"No, don't take my mermaid!" She cried, pushing his hands away.

"Stevie, love, I'm sorry, but we can't let mommy see these. Remember? They're secret tattoos."

"Mommy will like them! They're nice," She pouted.

"No, I don't think she will," Harry said, laughing nervously. "Maybe if we..." he grabbed the bottle of soap, dumping some onto the cloth. "There we are! Whew," he sighed in relief. "Good thing that worked, or daddy might have been sleeping on the couch tonight."

Just as he was lifting her off the counter, he heard a knock at the door.

"Harry? What are you doing in there?"

He swung open the door, smiling charmingly.

"Just a little cleanup! We... spilled some yogurt. Right Stevie?"

She nodded, looking up at you innocently.

"Ok... why were there markers all over the table, but no paper to use them on?" You asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Uh... we were going to color, but then... the... yogurt explosion..."

"Oh, I see," you said, still suspicious. "Stevie," you said, kneeling down to be at her eye level. "Is daddy telling the truth?"

Harry held his breath. Stevie was notoriously bad at lying. Usually, Harry was thankful for this, but right now he could do with a little fib.

"Yes mommy, yogurt went everywhere," she said, eyes going wide as she mimicked an explosion with her hands.

You smiled, straightening up.

"Well, I'm glad you got it cleaned up. I'm going to go put the rest of the groceries away."

Harry exhaled as you got to the bottom of the stairs. He quickly lifted Stevie up, spinning her around.

"Thank you, Stevie. You're such a sweetie," He said, pressing a kiss to her cheek. She giggled, wiping her face and wiggling in his arms.

"Let's go see what mom bought us!" He said, bouncing her as they ran downstairs.

Harry thought he was in the clear. He really did. He had managed to scrub off all traces of the marker, including the scribbles drawn over his own mermaid. Luckily, Stevie was true to her pinky promise and didn't say a word. She told you about how they played outside and what books they read, but said nothing about the makeshift tattoos. She was good at being sneaky.

By the time Stevie was yawning, Harry really though everything was fine. When you went to change her into her pajamas, he settled into the couch to find a movie.

Everything is fine, he thought. You had no id-

"Harry!" You yelled from down the hall.

He hopped up from his seat, rushing to Stevie's room.

"What is it?"

"Harry," you said, turning towards him slowly. "Why does our daughter have a huge butterfly drawn on her tummy?"

So close.

#harry styles #harry styles/reader #harry styles/you #harry styles/reader fanfiction #stevie #stevie fics #fluff #fluffy #harry styles x you #harry styles/you fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x reader fanfiction #one direction #one direction fanfiction #dad!harry

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belle-keys · 3 years

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I Love Matthew Fairchild aka Incoherent Thoughts about Chain of Iron (2021) by Cassandra Clare

I made one of these rant-rave reviews for SJM's book so check it out if you want, no pressure tho lmao.

Aight so I finished Chain of Iron last night and OMG I HAVE TO YELL like I loved it sooo much like yooo, I have a lot to say. I know the book is new so... beware for spoilers plebs.

Also context: I been reading the Shadowhunter books since I was 12 and I'm 19 now *insert dead emoji face* so yeah, I'm just so happy rn with where the Chronicles have come and the fact that they’re still ongoing *insert uwu face*. I remember when in like 2014-2015 or something when Cassandra Clare teased that Will and Tessa's kids' generation was gonna get a trilogy set in Edwardian London, loosely based on Great Expectations, and holy hell? I think that was perhaps one of the best days of my life considering how much I adore The Infernal Devices (that trilogy really changed the way I see YA literature... don't ask cus I won't shut up about it) (also yes I read TMI and loved it too but there's a “generation gap” between TMI and the other Shadowhunter books stylistically so don't ask me about that either cus I also won't shut up).

Anyway, shoo from here if you want a critical essay on Chain of Iron. I'm not providing that, this is just me raving here for the fun.

Listen... I want the bulk of this to just be two main things: The Matthew Situation, and then all the literary and judeo-christian meta aspects of it.

BUT I ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE SO FRICK LET'S JUST START WITH THE OBVIOUS SHIT LIKE THE PLOT AND WHATEVER

Okay, the plot and writing and shit, let's get that out of the way:

The WHOLE Jack-the-Ripper-esque ambiance was just sooooo good man wow like I did not expect the book to take this cold turn but it worked so well. There was such a contrast between Jamie and Cordelia's warm little house and then the cold winter and the stabbings and shit and it felt like a nice little callback to the actual Ripper phenomenon that preceded them and a nod to the Whitechapel Fiend story from Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy.

Bitch OFC that whole thing with Wayland was a set-up like nawww that was too easy to spot and I get why Cordelia feels like shit about it.

Dawg Lucie was just the Among Us imposter here in that my girl was just venting and sneaking around with dead people and I was like nooooo girl run, don't deal with Fade this is a set-up THINK ABOUT JULES LUCIE THAT'S LIKE YO GREAT-GRANDSON *sobs* but yeah anyway my girl has death powers she gonna kill some bitches next book.

You see that confrontation between Lilith and Belial? MASTERPIECE DIALOGUE like this was the point within which I was just like "yo is this the book of Genesis or a YA Fantasy novel" like when Lilith said "I may have been cast out but I did not fall" like??????????????????? I YELLED she did not have to END Belial like that. What a bad bitch.

More on Lilith and Belial... "You, who brought nations into darkness? Shall I finally be able to tell the infernal realms you have gone mad, lost even the image of the Creator." HAHAHHAHAHA SHE SAID "YO BELIAL GO GET SOME THERAPY AND GET OFF MY ASS" LIKE??????

Ughhhh yasss Clare has improved writing diverse characters in this book compared to in The Dark Artifices in my opinion... I'm not gonna expand on it cus ain't nobody got time for that but like, I enjoyed how she wove Persian poetry and tales into the story and the way in which she writes Cordelia and Alistair. They're not caricatures of Persian people but rather multi-faceted beings who also happen to be Persian and I appreciate that. Also, Alistair and Thomas and Anna and Ariadne were just so fun and interesting to read as coupbles but also as individuals. She really higlighted diversity in a very natural manner. All I need is a hijabi character and I’ll die a happy woman lmao.

The level of META man like the references to Classics and art (I swear, she might have compared Matthew to angels out of Caravaggio AND Rosetti AND Boticelli paintings and I Am Living For It) and just all the quotes from holy books and shit omg I love it here like you really feel catapulted into the time period, she draws reference to external art and philosophy so well and I feel like she upped the notch on it in this book (didn’t know that was possible but it was the prose is BEAUTIFUL, archaic, but not pretentiously so). No, like the characters live in their OWN worlds of literature and art and history in the way we are living in THEIRS. They quote Wilde and Milton while we'll quote Clare. It's awesome.

This is an unusually structuralist take even from me but: I like the way the milieu social of the book, i.e., the high society Edwardian circles and their values, have a direct influence on the plot. James and Cordelia got married because society’s values essentially forced them to, not a demon. Cordelia abandons Jamie at the end of Iron because her shame as a woman in society and fear for her reputation made her, not a demon. Thomas and Alistair can't be together solely because of how Alistair tarnished the reputation of the Fairchilds and Lightwoods by using the horror of infidelity against them. Issues relating to marriage, gender roles, etc, stemming DIRECTLY from the time period rule the sequence of events to the same degree as the epic fantasy aspects (demons, Princes of Hell, the lore itself) do and I LOVE that dear God above.

OKAY THE GOOD SHIT LET US TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS AND SHIPS (N.B. but imma discuss Matthew and the Fairstairs situation separately below this portion):

Alistair's redemption arc: No, cus Alistair's redemption arc is honestly amazing. He really did change and it's not like his betterment as a person was linked to any one heroic deed but rather he simply decided he wanted to be better especially for his family and he decided to become a proper protective son, a caring brother, and an amiable friend. He fully owned up to his Malfoy tendencies and apologized without expecting forgiveness. He shows how he cares in the little ways and omg it's so sweet and tender. I really do want him to love himself now and be embraced by Matthew especially and the rest of the Thieves.

Dawg Lucie and Jesse are so funny to me like it's so hilarious how this girl fell in love with a whole ass ghost that no one else knows about like HHAHA. Are Lucie and Jesse my ult ship ever? Nah, but it's nothing to do with Clare, it's just that their relationship happened pretty quick and feels quite like something epicly romantic that Lucie herself would write. I just like slow burn and friends-to-lovers the most from Clare. To be honest part of me just wanted Lucie to not have a romantic arc all together but like, it's all good, I'm not complaining.

Okay Grace- like yooooooooooo I never hated her yunno. She has been abused and isolated all her life. It's not that she is a bad person, but rather that she does not know what being a person even entails. Can't even say she's a “doll” of a person cus she's never even been pampered like one by her family. I really started understanding her motivations since when they gave us her half-childhood with Jesse. I want better for her but cmon can she REALLY be saved???

GRACE X CHRISTOPHER *pretends to be shocked*... Okay, sometime in the middle of the Dark Artifices series some big brain put together a very thorough family tree of the families and like, it clearly showed that Grace and Christopher got married so like, lmfaooooo, I knew this was coming one way or another, but the journey to this ship is more important than the destination. Like in a way Christopher is such a cute baby lamb that it makes sense he'd end up being immune to her Grace-ness when he's just a cute little Einstein boiii. Like this is just so funny to me cus he's so oblivious to social conventions while she makes the milieu social her entire life so OFC it's gonna work. Like, this is such a worlds-colliding trope like just Give It To Me.

James and Grace - aw mannn Jamie just had me fricking wanting to hit a wall every two seconds cus like yooooooo every single time I think he and Cordelia are gonna stop being emotionally-constipated spouses, Jamie says some kinda shit like "omg me and Daisy are just friends uwu" like DO I NEED TO HIT YOU?????????? See I can't blame him for not slamming the door on Grace's face even tho he totes should- Jamie is so cerebral and kind that even if Grace wasn't using the enchantment on him, I think he would always be soft for her even if it isn't in a romantic way. There's just so much miscommunication cus like he said "Thank God" when she broke off the engagement with Charles and lowkey embraced her but it also wasn't his fault cus it wasn't even romantic BUT OFC IT LOOKED HORRIBLE TO CORDELIA like James literally never told the woman at least once that he loved her so OFC she thought she was back to square one with him dear God above what a mess. Not his fault, but she DID set down one rule for him: don’t cheat with Grace. And yeah even tho he hasn’t properly cheated, it must FEEL horrible to her cus she’s just been enduring the pain of their unrequeted love for so long :((

See imma just say it but if Cordelia thought that James didn't love Grace then she def would have confessed to him about her feelings right but like James, on the other hand, was delaying his own romantic confession cus he was BEING EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED and I can't even say the bracelet was solely to blame cus like my boi was just being so difficult omg I believe he should be lightly spanked by his three parents aka Will, Tessa and Jem *cries*.

Cordelia is such a MOM like she's so mature and stable and her self-preservation instinct? OFF THE CHARTS I love this woman like James definitely treated her well as a hubby but like I JUST WANTED HER TO HAVE CLOSURE ABOUT SOMETHING and boy oh boy she did get that closure she got it good but not from the person she expected in the LEAST *hehe* *pelican screeching*... like Lucie was being sus with the whole ghost business and James was being just, quite a case, dealing with Grace and Belial right and I don't blame them at all for their secrecy and shit but her FATHER DIED and her friends were hiding a lot from her so in a way she turned to Alistair for help but he could only do so much cus of his own pain (she couldn't even talk to her mom cus she's pregnant and she doesn't wanna stress her right) and then there was this emotional block between her and Jamie, Lucie was often absent and conspiring with the dead... the last person remaining was HIM (imma discuss this soon), but yeah my heart just went OUT to her cus she's tryna save herself and her family and she just doesn't know what to do. That's why I love the way her mom told her to stop holding herself back for others and live her own life. Like Cordelia grew on me so much cus in Gold she undoubtedly was a strange Elizabeth Bennet-wallflower hybrid and I... do not usually get attached to wallflowers but in Iron I feel like I finally understood that she was just tryna be unproblematic and self-preserving all along and nottt put her family and friends in a tough situation.... she reminds me of my mom personality-wise so yeah I’m totally rooting for her now that her *situation* in the past seems clearer.

Anna, Thomas and Matthew are such a SQUAD lmfaooooo like united in their gayness they'd be so unstoppable.

Will and Tessa are the most in-love of all the in-loves in this story and I respect that so much.

I lost a year to my life every time the romance between James and Cordelia got cockblocked. Like they were MARRIED and I thought they were gonna at least sleep next to each other at least once BUT NO James couldn't take a hint omg I'm actually gonna eat my fist and sob (but in retrospect, I think this serves a bigger purpose in terms of the narrative structure i.e. the interruption of all the spicy James and Cordelia action serves a bigger purpose which I think brings me to my next section, *exhale*)

Welcome to the Matthew Fairchild Enthusiast Club (this section is me talking out loud; it makes no sense):

bitch.

LISTEN TO ME LISTEN WELL I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH IMMA SCREAM I REALLY AM GONNA SCREAM MY FIST IS LITERALLY IN MY MOUTH *BACKFLIPS OFF THE ROOF WITH LANA DEL REY PLAYING*

Okay like where to BEGIN I think the Shadowhunter boy who I'm most attracted to is Julian while the one I love the most is Will but I think I see myself in Matthew the most. Like ever since that first story where the Thieves all met at the Academy then got expelled, I think that I just KNEW Matthew was destined to be epic. Plus the whole Wilde obsession? I’m no libertine myself but I just love his chaos and passion for life.

NO CUS HE'S SO WITTY AND SWEET AND EPIC AND YET SO SECRETIVE AND DEAR GOD ABOVE AHHHHH WILL HE SURPASS JULIAN FOR ME??? Ion even know but this is just sodjsgdwsdygyegydgef

Hear me out but I said after finishing Gold last March that I wanted this book to be Matthew's healing arc right so halfway into the book when I realized that we weren't getting all that good healing arcing I was confused just cus I thought it seemed natural to address all of his alcohol issues and sadness by now. LITTLE DID I KNOW CASSIE WAS SETTING UP A WHOLE OTHER ARC WITH HIM THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED WTH.

At first I thought Matthew didn't have feelings for anyone at all, and if he DID develop feelings unexpectedly, I fricking thought that maybe he's catching feelings for James, if anyone??? I mean, I did have some suspicions about Matthew from the get-go: like he's so secretive and as readers we think we know everything there is to know about him since we were all privy to the truth potion incident in his short story right BUT NO I GOT PLAYED AND I DESERVE IT SO BADDDDDD.

Listen I hadn't shipped him and Cordelia simply because I never thought it in the realm of possibility but it MAKES SENSE as a ship... think about it: he never says what he feels, he flirts with her like he does with EVERYONE, he is kind to her in the way he is with EVERYONE. Really, Matthew is shippable with everyone, doesn’t matter if they’re taken cus that’s just what his Matthewnes allows for ya feel. There is such a beautiful irony that CORDELIA herself did not see this coming. Even the little teasers and hints in Gold have only NOW started making sense to me likejhss. I just felt like the hints in book 1 did not indicate to me that Matthew really harbored real romantic feelings for Daisy. I thought he was upset that James and Cordelia were being fakes, not a developing CRUSH on the woman fgs.

Not to mention that you usually sense a ship building when the emotional connection or sexual tension between the characters is made clearer but to me their FRIENDSHIP grew right but it didn’t feel like Cordelia was thought that she liked him or he liked her so that means me and Cordelia are clowns *together* 😤

Okay I was lowkey having SUSPICIONS but I immediately shut them down right... like firstly when he took her to the White Horse in his car and she went OFF and OFF and off about how she felt free for the first time? I thought Cassie was just tryna develop Cordelia's self-liberation arc through Matthew there. Heck, I didn't even think ANYTHING of it when Matthew confession to Cordelia about the "truth potion" incident at all cus I was like they're FRIENDS??? BUT now it's adding up now...

See when they were at the inn place and he was telling her that she doesn't in the least seem like a 100 year-old married woman? I was like hmmmm he's so sweet but why did Cassie phrase it like that like??? When Cordelia later reiterated that she thought Matthew's flirting was “meaningless”?? I was like hmmm kinda SUS tho. And then when he and James had their fight over the way Jamie kissed Grace like again I thought he was just like? ion know? mad at James for it but I didn't think he was in LOVE with Cordelia??? So I immediately put aside my slight suspicions. The probability that he had a crush on James at that point seemed more likely to me.

BUT THEN it started hitting me that every time Matthew drank, even before he explained his issue with the truth potion, that Cordelia would note it, she would worry about him, she would think of her father which seemed so poetic to me, history repeating itself and all that but this time you can FIX it??? Yeah, but again I didn't think the L WORD would be involved man???

Now imma sound like a delulu shipper here but it just makes sense they would develop feelings logically- reason being that it definitely is possible based on the way Cassie set up the story, like there's a combination of little “friend things” that can turn this into a proper ship: Matthew rescues Cordelia in the ballroom when Grace captures James' attention in Gold. Cordelia sees her father in Matthew all the time but knows now she has a chance to be there for him in the way she couldn't have been there for Elias (classic “history repeats itself” trope, she doesn't want Matthew drinking in Paris like dhshghdfhdhch). Cordelia tastes freedom for the first time when driving with Matthew. Matthew caught James and Cordelia making out in the room and was pissed but not even HE properly knew why then??? Umm, when she thinks James is forreal cheating with Grace on her she subconsciously goes to Matthew??? I also found it funny just how every intimate marital moment between her and James got interrupted somehow. Like, it's as if the narrative is just a living force REFUSING to let James and Cordelia as a ship be consecrated. Heck, every time Matthew is scantily clothed Cordelia notes it. LITTLE CRUMBS I TELL YOU LITTLE CRUMBS.

I tell you when Cordelia showed up to Matthew's flat I thought they were gonna f*ck as friends but I got SOMETHING EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW

THEY ARE GOING TO PARIS LA BELLE EPOQUE PARIS THE PARIS OF DREAMS AND ART LIKE??? FRICKKKKK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALLLL MAN? I deadass thought the story would be restrained to the UK but like it MAKES SENSE the trope subversion MAKES SENSE.

“In Paris, with you, I will not need to forget.” SHITTRGEGGGDG

BUT CORDELIA LOVES JAMES TOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY THAT... where are we GOING with this like Matthew wouldn't lie about his feelings and yet Cassie wouldn't give us Matthew and Cordelia crumbs to only end it in the next book immediately for her to just ditch him for James. I mean she was clearly holding back on fleshing out James and Cordelia as a ship for this but to WHAT END??? Daisy feels wild and free with Matthew and she feels warm at home warm with James. I can’t advocate for the sinking of ANY ship here.

Imma say what we're all thinking: Is she gonna give us a Will x Jem x Tessa type situation where Cordelia gets both of them cus I'm not strong enough for this but I also think it'd be really funny if James gets a surprise bi awakening in the next books and then we get POLY even tho this would never happen, it’s actually impossible, because of the whole parabatai thing.

Listen I ship Cordelia and Matthew much more than Cordelia and James, not that I dislike James in any way tho. It's just: Matthew is so unrestrained and she's so composed. They seem like an unlikely pair so it makes sense that they hit harder for me. James and Cordelia have such similar personalities but I ALSO don't ship James with Grace at all so like?? Poly would be... ideal... but it can’t happen especially cus they are fricking parabatai... a Will-Jem-Tessa situation seems more likely but mannnn ion know what to expect. I just want FAIRSTAIRS to have their moment in Paris. I mean James and Matthew clearly don't abhor each other for this.

Take everything I say with several grains of salt, take everything I say with the whole Dead Sea actually, cus I damn well know that Matthew is so flirty and whatnot that I’d have shipped him with anyone in their little circle but now that she set him up with Cordelia it all feels so right?? I have wanted this man in a good relationship since he walked onto the page in Nothing But Shadows so-

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I can't believe Cassia duped me like this omg, Matthew is gonna have his healing arc in Paris with Cordelia by his side like- THIS IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND SO MUCH MORE. Question to yall btw: are you all as surpised at Fairstairs as me or did yall see it coming all along like smart people? Am I a lone clown? 🥺

BRUH okay criticisms of CC?:

Lmfao a part of me feels like I GOTTA say something bad about CC or the book but honestly I have no objective complaints about it as of now. Am I saying that it’s the PEAK of Young Adult literature and Urban Fantasy? I mean, I make no such claims tbh. I’m not here to be critical when I read as a hobby and when CC’s writing makes me happy regardless of how flawed some people see it.

Okay what next?

So like I’m excited for the adult high fantasy she’s releasing in the fall and whatever other works she might be releasing outside of Chain of Gold within the Chronicles.

As for TLH itself? Man I’m just VIBING like I suspect I will reread Chain of Iron soon and maybe one of the anthologies just because I am happy that this series actually happened after me waiting like 6 years for it when it was just a concept: a Dickensian retelling filled with poetry and culture and history and the conventions I so loved in TID at age 12. This is all I been wanting tbh. I’m just enjoying watching this series come to fruition for it to inspire and transform me in some way. I feel like in a way my coming-of-age aligns with that of these specific characters yet I ALSO feel like I raised Jamie since infancy. Wack.

MATTHEW AND CORDELIA IN FRANCE LA BELLE EPOQUE TO BE EXACT IMMA CRY I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AND AHHHHHH. ALSO WILL AND JAMIE GOING TO CORNWALL TO GET LUCIE AND MAYBE BOND I LOVE WILL. HE WAS ONE OF MY DILF AWAKENINGS AT AGE 12 AND NOW HE’S HERE AGAIN IMMA CRY. I WANNA SEE MATTHEW GET HAPPY. AHHH.

Ending with a fun quote: “In the wise words of someone or other, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Maurice.” 😉

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

#lovely anon #BY THE WAY: do not feel bad or apologise for not answering straight away #you can take your time i know it can be exhausting (not bc its anything bad but just because its so much and so long) to answer to my shit #all at once*#so really i don‘t mind if you take a few days or a week or whatever to respond #or if you want to you can respond bit by bit/topic by topic whenever you feel like it #so you don‘t have to concentrate on an ask and my post for like AN HOUR DLSKJ but rather do it in smaller chunks #if you want <3 #btw i‘m always so scared that i‘ll type lonely anon instead of lovely dldjdjsksk so if i ever do that i‘m just being #(cue your autocorrect dldkdj) a dumb bitch #its 1 am now sorry if there are any mistakes (i‘ll stop apologing from now now lol but i still am sorry you have to read my word vomit lmao)#*apologis #*from now on #omg

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psi-psina · 5 years

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TOUR19 THE INSULATED WORLD, ZEPP NAGOYA, 19/04/2019

I felt the attempt to write something. :)

00. SE

01. 谿壑の欲

02. Downfall

03. 人間を被る

04. Rubbish Heap

05. Ash

06. Values Of Madness

07. DOZING GREEN

08. 赫

09. Celebrate Empty Howls

10. undecided

11. Ranunculus

12. Devote My Life

13. 軽蔑と始まり

14. 獣慾

15. 詩踏み

16. Followers

17. 鬼眼

18. Revelation of mankind

19. GRIEF

20. 冷血なりせば

Tonight, Nagoya did not have quite the strength of feeling among the fans that we did in Shinkiba, but it was still one of the best Nagoya crowds I’ve experienced and the live was just, incredible. One thing I will say though, is that shimote was not on point tonight, seriously Kaoru’s crowd was just….fuckin deadass, there wasn’t the energy or enthusiasm I’m used to having in shimote at all. The calls for ALL the members were pretty lacklustre compared to Shinkiba as well I must say, and no one in shimote was calling for encore, everyone was just standing there talking, I was like wtf? I kinda wish I’d been in kamite tonight. I was back in the Toshiya pit after being in the middle since the start of this tour and I gotta admit I have missed the view. Idk if it’s just because I am so used to being there, or if it’s because, when you are in the middle, you tend to miss all the other members more because it is almost impossible to look at anything but Kyo when you are in front of him. Or at least, I find it to be so. So I like being a bit to one side usually, and I think I’ll do that again in Osaka.

Unfortunately there were some prissy bitches in the Toshiya crowd that were a bit…unpleasant right at the start. You know those girls who sometimes are in the pit and want a solid,constant halo of space around them and will shove at the back of whoever is in front of them to keep them away…I was watching the chick in front of me do this to the girl standing in front of her during Keigaku and I wanted to smack her because I have had girls do that to me in the pit and it is NOT nice, it’s distracting and makes it extremely difficult to move in tandem with the people in front of you when you’ve got these shovey little hands pressing into your back to keep you in one spot. I once had one randomly shove me so hard while everyone was bouncing that I crashed into the person in front of me. They can be nasty. 😞

And if you’re behind them ah….I began the show directly behind this girl and her friend and every time I touched her due to moving with the rest of the crowd (the pit was MOVING to Keigaku and Downfall and I had to put my hands out at times to make sure I wasn’t being pushed up against her...) she would elbow and shove at me. :/ I was like bitch, what the fuck. There are two or three people and a rail right behind me and people are moving. Ugh, I hate it, it’s such a rude and bitchy way to behave in the pit. Like there is nothing wrong with wanting your own space and wanting to just dance and do your stupid little anime moves but like, just get behind the pit, for god’s sake. :( Anyway, she was being so nasty that by Downfall I got tired of being shoved and elbowed at, and admittedly, just started shoving her right back. Like honestly just go away, no one here wants that nonsense anywhere near them. Thankfully they moved somewhere else pretty fast and everyone was able to just settle in the their spots and it was lovely. However there was one other girl a few places ahead of me who stayed where she was and just flatly refused to headbang or move with the crowd for the entire show, people were smacking into her so much in songs like Juuyoku and Grief and Reiketsu, and if she wanted to stick out she certainly accomplished that. >.>

The members were in a fantastic mood though, Toshiya was absolutely glowing and Kaoru and Die were both really energetic and giving heaps of attitude and they moved around the stage a lot. Their outfits were all pretty much the same as has been described from the earlier gigs. Die REALLY sticks out in his red and white getup but it’s also oddly complimentary/in sync with Toshiya’s style. They’re both wearing these SUPER feminine, flowing outfits. And then Kaoru and Kyo also look kinda complimentary to me. Kyo looks sooooooooo good in these suits man, like this whole mafia-don aesthetic he’s got going on right now is sooooo sexy and those suits are, unsurprisingly, tailored to perfection like there have been a few moments he’s been in silhouette up on his crate and I literally cannot breathe bc of the POWER. He’s got a few different ones that he’s mixing and matching, I distinctly recall he was wearing a double-breasted jacket in Shinkiba (day 2) but I think he’s only worn that once. Tonight for encore he wore a lacey white dress shirt that I haven’t seen him in before this.

Kyo entered the stage smoking one of his chocolate cigarettes, which he smoked throughout Keigaku. I don’t think he smoked elsewhere during the set until the end? But I could be wrong. The first chunk of the set up to Values went by so fast, it was so much fun. Like seriously, Downfall, Ningen, Rubbish Heap??? HEAVEN. Kyo calls on us to sing during Downfall in the EXACT parts I wanted to UGHHHH. Downfall has turned into one of my absolute favourite songs live and off the album, it’s been such a grower. It amuses me that fans still don’t really raise their fists during Rubbish Heap but just have their hand raised like usual 😂 come on guys, get it together. But there was furious headbanging right from the start of Rubbish Heap tonight it was sooooo good.

At one point in the first part of the set Kyo came over and visited Kaoru, he walked around behind him and sang next to him for a moment with his arm around his back, it looked like he was on the verge of doing something mischievous but then decided not to, and let Kaoru off the hook 😂 It may have been during Ash, but I can’t remember. Dozing Green was absolutely AH-MAZING again, it didn’t top day 2 at Shinkiba, but it was up there with it. I love the way fans in all the cities have been moving and mouthing along with the lyrics so passionately. All the guys are feeling that song DEEP and it just works SO well in this setlist…it’s a perfect way to lead into Aka, it’s like it builds the mood right into that song and they compliment each other perfectly right down to the lighting…Dozing Green is lit with these cool blues and greens and then Aka floods the stage blood red. Tonight’s Aka was a lot more controlled from Kyo than the performances in Tokyo and Hiroshima, but no less beautiful. And Celebrate Empty Howls is an odd one… It’s in the dead centre of the setlist, right in the middle of the atmospheric section but it’s such an oddball… I feel like it would be a lot better placed in between Ranunculus and Devote but, that’s just me! After Celebrate there is a breather where chairs are brought out for undecided.

Kyo cried terribly when he sang undecided tonight, it was absolutely heart wrenching and he continued to be very teary through Ranunculus and gave a still more emotional performance than I had yet seen ;____; He screams out terribly after the bridge every time, and every time I’ve thought there couldn’t possibly be a more emotional performance and then he….. ;__; I meant to check on Kaoru and Toshiya during Ranunculus tonight to see if they sang along at all but I could not take my eyes off Kyo. I do recall Die caught my attention at a few moments though, he is incredibly passionate in Ranunculus like he is in Rinkaku,

Getting hit with Devote right after Ranunculus is kind of emotional whiplash and I find it difficult to get fully into it when it’s in that place in the setlist, I just can’t feel it fully when I’m still in the immediate aftermath of Ranunculus, especially when the performances are so intense. Ranunculus into Devote is the only thing I have to say against this setlist, it would just be so much better to have a slightly milder song leading out of Ranunculus. 😞

Kyo went craaaazy during Devote and Keibetsu, he headbanged and threw his body around violently, and I can’t remember much else because of my own headbanging. Kyo calls on us to shout “zankoku na~!” during Devote and “saa iwaeyo kizu ni!!” during Keibetsu and I remember Toshiya coming right to the front and heavily egging us on during Keibetsu, he got really excited during that song.

Kyo did not cry when singing Followers tonight, like Aka it felt a much more controlled performance than those in Hiroshima and (especially) Tokyo. Tonight oddly made me cry though, I think because i paid more attention to the backdrop than I have in the previous performances. Credit to @theghostinmyroom for pointing this out first, the imagery during Followers includes Jesus the Redeemer, and a naked skeletal figure seen from behind sitting in foetal position. Parts of the english lyrics are projected throughout the song, particularly the phrases “That is me, This is me” and “No matter how cruel the world is” and towards the end there are vague images of each of the members, the final of which is Kyo singing in silhouette. ♡ Followers did not strike me as a song the way it did a lot of others and the same was true for me when it’s performed live…everything about the song is quite indirect imho, however the rapport between band (particularly Kyo) and the fans I have found has steadily grown with each performance…the emotions are layering on. ♡ On the first night at Shinkiba, Kyo raised his hand toward us at the end of the song which prompted many fans to respond, and we held out our hands until the final notes had faded. On the second night, and tonight in Nagoya, Kyo held out his hand to us as the song began. This reaching out brought a much stronger feeling to the song.

I think Followers would have also fared better on this tour mid-set tbh, it seems in an odd place that’s sort of disconnected from all the other songs lol. And like with Ranunculus, there’s no time to bask in the afterglow of the emotion because then, we’re immediately hit with Kigan LOL. KIGAN IS SOOOO MUCH FUN, and Toshiya was SUPER into it tonight, Kyo is very naughty and playful during this song as well and likes to feel himself a bit 😛 I love the part where he tells us to jump.

Annndd the rest is a blur, Grief and Reiketsu? GOD TIER. OH, There was one moment in the encore that was just lakjsdnlfkjasdf, we were talking about it after the show. Before Grief or Reiketsu, i can’t remember, Kyo was riling everyone up with all his usual cursing and attitude, it was all fuckers this and bastards that, and then he just randomly used keigo? He just suddenly asked super politely ”行きますか?” it was just KASJNALKJNFKSDJ

#tour19 tiw #dir en grey

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coffeebooksorme · 6 years

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LIFEL1K3 by Jay Kristoff review

GOODREADS SYNOPSIS: On a floating junkyard beneath a radiation sky, a deadly secret lies buried in the scrap.

Eve isn’t looking for secrets—she’s too busy looking over her shoulder. The robot gladiator she’s just spent six months building has been reduced to a smoking wreck, and the only thing keeping her Grandpa from the grave was the fistful of credits she just lost to the bookies. To top it off, she’s discovered she can destroy electronics with the power of her mind, and the puritanical Brotherhood are building a coffin her size. If she’s ever had a worse day, Eve can’t remember it.

But when Eve discovers the ruins of an android boy named Ezekiel in the scrap pile she calls home, her entire world comes crashing down. With her best friend Lemon Fresh and her robotic conscience, Cricket, in tow, she and Ezekiel will trek across deserts of irradiated glass, infiltrate towering megacities and scour the graveyard of humanity’s greatest folly to save the ones Eve loves, and learn the dark secrets of her past.

Even if those secrets were better off staying buried.

I was given an eARC by RandonHouse via NetGalley for an honest review.

This book is just...this book is amazing. I quite literally have to force myself to not fill this with flailing gifs and incoherent keysmashes of joy to explain the amazingness that is this book. I love Jay Kristoff’s writing and this book has only solidified him as my favorite author.

Lifel1k3 has been compared to Mad Max, Romeo & Juliet, XMEN, and various other fandoms throughout media but this story has a whole life (heh) of it’s own, lemme tell ya. From the setting to the world building to the characters to the vernacular spoken, this book is wholly original and absolutely fizzy to the utmost fizziness.

I went into this story not really knowing a whole lot other than it was a new book by Jay, it had robots, and it was set in a post-apocalyptic world. Considering I’d read most of his Lotus Wars series, Nevernight, and the Illuminae chronicles, I was excited to see what Jay would do with a sci-fi infused post-apocalyptic setting and he did not disappoint.

The Mad Max comparisons are on point because the Yousay is a totally broken wasteland of a world filled with desolation, despair, radiation, and cities that are ruled by corporations rather than government. It’s dirty, it’s filthy, it’s wholly unhygienic, and it is glorious. We go from the remnants of a literal trash heap floating in an ‘ocean’ that is nothing but sludge, plastic, and detriment of the old world to a desert town littered with ships, containers, and a hodgepodge of anything that can be scrapped together to make a building only to end up at the post-apocalyptic version of Babel that was once a shiny beacon of hope only to be brought down to nothing. The world in this book is choice and I loved it almost as much as I loved the characters.

Eve, Cricket, Lemon Fresh, and Ezekiel are our main cast and they are absolutely wonderful. Each one has their own distinct personalities that shine throughout the book. You will laugh, you will cry, you will scream, and you will stare gobsmacked at the book as you travel with them throughout this story.

Cricket is by far my bestest little robot but don’t you dare tell him I called him little. He’s the sidekick to Eve’s main character but he was such a joy to read about. Every time he spoke on the page I was smiling and laughing at the bits of snarky sarcasm that he threw in.

Lemon Fresh is the humor of this book and quite possibly the most badass bestie any fictional girl could have. She had her very own arc in the book that didn’t involve Eve which I really enjoyed because most of the time the side characters are only there as fluff for the MC but that wasn’t the case with Lemon. She had her own history, her own arc, her own very distinct and very awesome personality, and I cannot wait to see more of her.

Ezekiel is our lifelike of the story and love interest. I really enjoyed his character but he isn’t the swoon worthy HEA that I was expecting him to be as I was reading. Sure, he said some pretty words and did some pretty heroic things but I wasn’t all LE SIGH about him as I have been about other HEA’s.

Eve is our MC who’s living a life filled with lies. I definitely got some Anastasia feels about her as the story progressed. She’s totally badass, sarcastic to a fault, a bit tempestuous, and sooooo much fun to read. She loves her Grandpa Silas to a fault, she’s super protective of her robotic puppy Kaiser, is super close with her bestie Lemon Fresh, and an absolute hilarious companion to Cricket’s mother henning. She’s a wonderful MC who went through an absolute roller coaster of a ride and I am chomping at the bit to read more of her considering how Jay completely ripped my heart out with the ending!

Kristoff is known for his twisted mind and twisty ends to books. Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out he flips you on your butt, grabs the story, and twists it in such a masterfully done way that all you can do is stare at the words and wonder what the heck just happened. It’s heart breaking, it’s maddening, and it’s absolutely freaking wonderful. In the wise words of Ron Weasley...

I do have a few qualms with the story that kind of irked me a bit.

The addition of the Preacher just felt unnecessary. He’s a hired assasin sent by one of the corporations to capture Eve either alive or dead. He’s a one dimensional, Western inspired type of bounty hunter and while he did keep our cast on their toes for a good majority of the book, he just felt...blah. Yes, he spurred our cast to travel to Babel but I just didn’t really like him a lot. He’s very eye rolly.

Eve/Cricket kept calling Ezekiel Brain Trauma and Stumpy, respectively, in reference to some injuries that Ezekiel suffered in the book. To me, those ‘nicknames’ felt very degrading and insensitive and just a tad bit ableist to me. Jay could have left those out and the story would’ve been just fine. Also, when Eve and Lemon Fresh first find Ezekiel, who they assume is OOC, Lemon Fresh tries to take a peek into his shorts to look at his man bits and yeah, not cool. Robot or not, OOC or not, that left me with a really skeeved out feeling. Lemon’s quite obsessed with ogling at Ezekiel in the book and has no shame about objectifying him at all but actively trying to look in his pants when he’s the robotic version of passed out is not a good look.

Those few bothersome things aside, this book is amazing and I loved it. I laughed, I cried, I screamed (honest to goodness, I did), and I was completely thrown for a loop at the end. The book isn’t even officially released and I already want the sequel.

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melekseev · 6 years

Text

alright, so here’s my final top 43 with minor commentaries that no one asked for. also this is probably... not common, bUT WE LOVE SOME DIVERSITY. this is obviously personal taste, but im just gonna say i would die for all the songs in my top 10

43. Russia - alright, so this wasn’t originally this low on my list at all, but after hearing it live... holy shit. i feel really bad for her, but her vocals were tragic, to the point where i don’t even understand how this happened. sh00k

42. Georgia - okay see, this is just not working for me. this is the only song this year that i can never listen to all the way through, and for some reason it depresses me. it honestly gives me funeral vibes.

41. Iceland - oh, Ari. honestly i just find it all too cheesy, especially when you add his personality, given he’s a bundle of sunshine, too, and then it’s an overdose of sugar. the song is rather dated, and this is another one that kind of makes me feel... hhh. just, must we?

40. Germany - okay, look, this one i don’t have a great excuse for other than tthe fact it doesn’t do anything for me personally. i tried to like this song so much though, i swear i did, but the more i hear it, the more i dislike it. this is the one where i usually go out to grab a snack or a drink while it plays, because i just... i don’t like it, i’m sorry.

39. San Marino - *rubs at temple* listen originally i gave them the benefit of the doubt but the way they are suffering live makes me suffer, too. the awkward rapping, that mess of lyrics, the weak vocals.... it’s not great.

38. Israel - plot twist. this was originally my last, so compared to that this is still better. but i just reeeally don’t like this song. it annoys me, actually. makes me laugh, but when i see the odds it makes me cry. also, honestly, her live performances did nothing for me - other than the high notes in the very end, it was... whatever it was. i really can’t comprehend why everyone’s eating this up, but you do you guys.

37. Romania - i swear i sort of keep forgetting this song exists, oh my god. it’s just kind of a mess..? i don’t really know what it wants to be, maybe they also don’t know what it wants to be. in the very least she sounds good live.

36. Latvia - so this song... is also something that’s just sort of there, but i don’t feel a single thing. i’m not too fond of her stage presence when it comes to it, either, with all the dramatic hairflips. am i the only one who thinks she’s like jessica rabbit?

35. Lithuania - aww, Lithuania... puts me to sleep ;;; she has a nice, unique voice but i find myself incredibly bored during her performances. i was watching the amsterdam live and i didn’t even notice she switched to Lithuanian at one point, only when i saw the recap. probably not a great sign.

34. Belgium - she kept dropping on my list anyway, and after hearing her live, she just somehow got down here. first of all, honestly it has great quality - doesn’t grab me the slightest, though. i find the chorus disappointing...? “echoes echoes and goes...” i always keep expecting a bigger, powerful drop and i’m somehow let down every time. and her vocals live, just... oooooh no.

33. Sweden - *buries face in hands* Justin Bieber...? this song is something that we’ve all heard like 1000000 times before. furthermore, i can’t be the only one who’s annoyed that he doesn’t sing his chorus live, he just whispers over it? like...

32. Czech Republic - okay, this kind of goes hand in hand with Sweden for me. i like Miki, but this is very, very... i don’t wanna say outright cheap, so let’s just say basic. basically talk dirty to me. honestly, it’s basically the exact same thing. one of the many. next!

31. Estonia - she actually went quite up on my list, because i appreciate her talent, and couldn’t question that even if i tried. i mean yes, i’m honestly not into opera... but it’s not horrible. although in the end it becomes a bit too much for me personally.

30. United Kingdom - SuRie is amazing, i honestly love her so much for her personality?? icon. buuuut the song is still not great and it’s just an inch away from tipping towards annoying - but, i can enjoy this one.

29. Poland - it’s okay for what it is. they are having fun. but i don’t want to give it more credit than that, it’s something you can hear every day in a club, on the beach, on the radio... been there done that. also... *whispers* okay JOWST did it much better, i’m soRRY

28. Australia - fun, up tempo, catchy BOP. do i feel more than that? no, not really. Jessica is adorable, though ;;; i wish this was... more.

27. Finland - her NF performance did not convince me one bit, but the studio cut and her Amsterdam performance elevated her a bit on my list. but still not... enough? it’s... it’s okay.

26. F.Y.R. Macedonia - this grew on me, to be honest. i still don’t know if i really like the three-songs-at-once thing, but i learned to enjoy it.

25. The Netherlands - okay, so country is not my type of music at all, and he’s only here because i think it’s a decent entry, and he's really good live.

24. Slovenia - i really dig her voice, and i like the verses, and LOVE the pre-chorus. she’s great on stage. the only reason she’s not higher is because the chorus itself is... sigh, it leaves me a bit disappointed.

23. Moldova - they literally jumped 17 places ahead on my list, and i regret nothing. i woke up on them, even if it took a while. once that tacky performance from the NF was out of the way, i was into it. THIS MAKES ME WANT TO HAVE FUN WITH THEM, OKAY

22. Malta - another BOP, but it just works better for me than Australia, personally. i was worried about her live but i think she delivers. it’s often stuck in my head.

21. Cyprus - BOP after BOP. it’s good, catchy and fun, definitely works for what it is, and i always jam to it.

20. Croatia - okay, i really really like her voice?? there’s something about this specific female vocal that i love, and tbh the song isn’t bad at all.

19. Spain - i prefer the studio cut with them, honestly. i find it to be a really lovely song, but when they do it live i just don’t feel connected with them, because they are busy connecting with each other. there’s nothing wrong with that, they are adorable, but it’s just as high as it will go for me.

18. Ireland - listen, i love his voice. it’s so sweet... the melody stayed with me from the very first listen. i am well aware he will get lost in the semi, but i appreciate him. this is really good.

17. Austria - so here’s the thing, this was originally in my top 10, but i just kind of got over it? he is also good live, but that’s about it. the song is good, i dig the hozier vibes it has, it’s a radio friendly tune... i just like 16 other songs more.

16. Azerbaijan - okay this song gets a lot of hate, and i GET that this is just esc pop, but a good one? i really like her voice?? and the power the song has in it? i don’t know, i was so sceptical about this but i replayed it right after the first listen - it makes me feel good.

15. Norway - listen i love Alexander Rybak, but i was also so sceptical about his comeback, because why, you already won? but the live performance was honestly so good, like listen, this guy’s charisma is ON POINT. i still love the violin. i still love him. i won’t rate him higher, because yes, the lyrics could be better, but i still enjoy it a whole lot.

14. France - oh, i love them. very easy to get into, it’s lovely. not something that makes me catch my breath, but i really appreciate it still because i honestly love listening to it.

13. Armenia - Sevak is so on point vocally, um...? this song is a huge grower for me, and at this point i seriously just... it’s so good.

12. Albania - I’M STILL MOURNING THE PRE-REVAMP VERSION HHHHH.... but i still love it, and love Eugent aswell. he has amazing vocals, and he would definitely deserve a good place.

11. Serbia - okay okAY OKAY I LOVE THIS SO MUCH??? the ethnic vibes, the whole... composition, their voices, it’s one big massive yes.

10. Switzerland - *cries softly* listen i fucking love them? Corinne’s vocals are EPIC. this song is just really good, although people are sleeping on it like they are knocked out. but they are doing great and i’m very proud of these Zibblingz. damn.

9. Ukraine - wELL I LOVE MÉLOVIN, WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT. he is a Performer™. his voice is amazing, and this song just doesn’t leave my head, i don’t even care about his ‘aghdshfdfzgz’, he’s that good.

8. Denmark - talk about epic? this whole song just raises me to a whole another spiritual level tbh. i can just close my eyes and see the sea and... hear the soundtrack of a fantasy movie, and i’m all for it. also, he’s REALLY good every time.

7. Bulgaria - i loved this song to begin with, but their live performance really gave it the last push. they harmonize their vocals in such a beautiful way, and i was afraid it wouldn’t work so much live, but it does. it really does, and i’m loving it.

6. Hungary - i can’t believe my country makes it to my top ten like... the 3rd time in a row, considering i never liked our entries before. but honestly AWS is.. wow, i was shook from the moment i first heard the song, and i LOVE how daring we’re being lately. i’m incredibly proud of them. they have so much energy, and in Amsterdam, they were definitely my favorite - i’m shocked. they deliver, they are an explosion. Örs’ vocals are AMAZING, and they never falter, even if this song is so demanding in that aspect? fucking... respect.

5. Montenegro - i aggressively love this song, maybe even love it more the more people ditch it. this is so dramatic and epic?? he is another singer who delivers vocally whenever it’s live? this song is... i LOVE the balkan sound, the musical-esque melodies, the power in his voice, just... i personally love it more than Adio from Knez, come fight me.

4. Portugal - i feel entranced every time. she grabs me, and doesn’t let go. this whole song is like a sweet dream, to be honest, and i love it sooooo much. i adore when isaura joins in. i just... it goes straight to my heart, god bless. beautiful.

3. Greece - this song... is so magical? like, pure magic. i’m so happy greece is finally doing it right, i’m... yianna is an actual greek goddess, and her voice... dude. this is art.

2. Belarus - definitely my most played song this year, oh my god. (okay, i might play Navsegda a bit more, but Forever is amazing too) the revamp didn’t ruin it, it gave it more personality. i love his tone changes? i love his soft, beautiful voice, and how he plays with it? guys alekseev is brilliant, and i would actually probably sob if he didn’t make the cut. this song does things to me. just.. wow.

1. Italy - there is not one other song this year that makes me think ‘winner’. just... there isn’t any other. it has everything; two amazing male vocals (and that contrast between them, gOD THAT CONTRAST!), an amazing, original song, an important message, the soul... what more do you want? this is a masterpiece. makes you stop and listen. honestly, if they don’t win, i really don’t see the point.

#lmao will people get angery #oH WELL

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swervestrickland · 7 years

Text

Hold This Flower | Dean Ambrose

Pairing: Dean Ambrose x Reader, Roman x Galina mention

“Hey there ! I was just wondering if I could request imagine with a plus size reader ? Maybe something where she was the female member of the shield and [Dean and her] had a romance storyline that carried on after the [Shield] breakup and they’re also dating in real life as well ? Just a bunch of fluff. If not, I’m sorry to disturb you at this late hour.” - anon

Word Count: 4,298

Warnings: Literally none I think??? Fluffy as all heck

Author’s Note: I’m taking requests! Honestly, not gonna lie, I’m a little worried with how the anon will like this one because I saw that someone requested a very similar prompt to someone else and I’m worried the anon couldn’t wait for my slow ass :( Anyway, I personally like how this one turned out so please let me know??? Thank y’all sooooo much <3

Tagging: @llowkeys / @we-work-hard / @p0tat0catofwesteros / @toosweetme / @blondekel77 / @welshwitch5 / @alexahood21 / @the-geekgoddes / @xxmaddhatter39xx / @sjwrites22 / @crowleysqueenofhell / @xstylesxclashx / @justrae9903 / @hardcorewwetrash / @helluvawriter / @wrasslin-x / @roman-reigns-princess / @reigns420 / @athoughtfulmindwrites / @wrestlingbabe / @heyambrose / @straight-outta-the-asylum / @idekwhatthisis / @mewsburger

“Don’t tell him I told you.” “Roman, when have I ever told a secret?” “Literally all the time.” You laughed, burning with embarrassment. “Okay, you’re right.” “I’m serious, [Y/N]. Don’t even hint that you know. He’ll kill me.” You looked at Roman, sitting next to you. “I’m not gonna-” “Shh,” he hushed, “don’t look at me. What if he comes through and sees us talkin’?” You couldn’t help it. You giggled, slapped his arm. “Are you telling me Big Bad Roman is afraid of my soon-to-be-”

“Shh, put your head down, there he is,” Roman hissed, grabbing his plate of unfinished steak, potatoes, and salad and making to leave. Sure enough, there was Dean, hands taped and ready for his match, walking towards them. It had been a blessing, having Dean back on Raw. After the Shield break up two years back and the draft last year, you and Seth and Roman had all ended up on the same Raw roster. You’d been heartbroken, when you found out, but Dean assured you that he wouldn’t let that separate the both of you. “Just keep that bastard Seth at an arm’s length, okay?” He’d said with a wink. The break up might have been the betrayal of the century for the WWE universe, but for the four of you, it was nothing but creative’s latest storyline. Still, you had to hand it to creative, as well as Vince. Vince had noticed the on-screen chemistry between you and Dean, and told creative to book a romance. It went along with his plan, anyway. Had your chemistry not been noticed, it would’ve still been three against one by the time of the break up. They wanted to set Seth as the worst person imaginable, and it just so happened that stabbing his brothers in the back was nothing compared to clapping his real life sister in the back with a steel chair. “Hey, Dean!” Roman smiled nervously, nearly gone. Dean held a hand out in front of him, stopping Roman dead in his tracks. “Why you leavin’ so soon, brother? I just got here.” Roman swallowed a gulp, flashed Deano a brilliant smile. “Gotta get ready for that match against Braun. You know how it is.” “That I do, brother, that I do.” He dropped his hand to let Roman pass, and turned his attention to you. He sat down in Roman’s recently vacated chair, legs spread apart, one arm draped on the back of your own chair. “What was that all about?” Dean asked, ever in character. Nothing slipped past the ol’ lunatic fringe. His mind moved way too quickly for that. Luckily, you were quicker. “My match with Nia. I asked him for advice. He bounced when he saw you because he knows how you feel about me asking anyone else for ring advice.” He shot me a confused look. “I’m not that bad, am I? Looked like Roman saw a ghost.” You feigned thinking about it, looking up at the ceiling, then back at him. “No, you’re pretty bad.” You reached for his face, scratching at his beard. His eyes fluttered closed, reveling in the feeling of your soft skin. One of his hands grazed your body, squeezing those parts of you that you tended to dislike. “You know I don’t like when you do that to my fat.” His eyes opened. “We’ve been through this, baby.” “I know, but-” “Does it feel good?” “Yes, but-” “Then you like it. What you don’t like is that you’re bigger than the average woman, but you know that doesn’t bother me.” A hand touched your cheek. “It’s actually one of the things I love most about you. There’s more of you to love. And I plan on loving every goddamn inch of you.” It was enticing. There was a growl in his voice you only heard when he was filled with lust for you, but he wasn’t making any definitive moves. Plus, you had a match. “[Y/N]! Backstage in five minutes!” As if on cue, one of the backstage hands called out. Dean’s light blue eyes shined with love, head nodding in the direction of the assistant. “Go on, baby. Kick that ass.” “I’m losing this one.” “All the more reason why you should kick that ass.” A woman’s shout from outside the catering room. “I heard that, Dean!” Nia. You stifled a giggle, your boyfriend smirking in Nia’s direction. “Damn right ya did!”

9 DAYS LATER You were due for a few days off. On screen injury from Nia and that Little Miss Bitch ambushing you during your match against Emma. Okay, and it was Christmas. Dean wasn’t about to let those few days pass without making sure he got to spend time with you, so you figured this was probably it. The Day. You were taking a flight home with Seth. Dean was going to be meeting the both of you in Iowa, at your parents’ house. You shook your head. This situation screamed Big Deal, even if Roman hadn’t warned you about it. Every minute on the plane at Seth’s side was making you more and more nervous. Seth hadn’t spoken the entire flight. But you did your best to stay busy; after all, three hours was too long to be bored. You silently thanked the universe for remembering to bring your iPad and headphones, drowning out the silence between the two of you with some Five Finger Death Punch. Because angst. Obviously, “I Apologize” was on repeat. It was the song you imagined played in the background of a shield reunion promo. But of course that would never happen. Roman was doing too well on his own for Vince to jeopardize that with a reunion, and you understood that perfectly. “Hey, sis?” You almost didn’t hear it. But you had seen him shuffle in his seat, and you knew that something was wrong. Seth slept like a bear on most flights. You took both headphones out, all too eager to break this tension. “Yeah?” He looked at his feet, struggling to find the words. Your hand reached out to him, hand covering his own. “You know that…Dean’s gonna…” “I know.” “How did you…?” His voice drifted away, thinking. You let him, because the answer was simple. “Fucking Roman,” he realized. “Yeah, Roman. But you aren’t really that much of a secret keeper, either. Or were you not just about to tell me, too?” Seth sighed, caught. “Yeah, I was.” He was quiet again. You were about to check if he’d drifted off to sleep, when he spoke. “Listen, I’m ecstatic for you. I honestly never imagined that your relationship with Dean would amount to this.” You raised an eyebrow, wondering if you should be offended. “That’s not what I mean,” he said. He let out a sigh, mustering up the right words for what he was about to say. “You and I both know that everyone on the roster knows about my relationships with women.” “If you can call them relationships,” You quipped. “Exactly. And everyone thinks I’m the only one with a history like that. But Dean used to be the same. That’s why, early on in your relationship, I was worried. But I never said anything, because you were happy.” “I guess what I’m saying is, that if he ever does anything to treat you wrong, I’m here. I’ll kick his ass all the way back to Cincinnati if I have to, if it’s what you want. I won’t let him hurt you.” You stared at him, tears pooling at the corners of your eyes. “Seth…” “Fuck, oh, shit, sis…don’t start that crying shit,” he griped, hand pulling out from under yours, “you know that crying shit makes me uncomfortable.” You slapped him on the arm. “You fucking asshole,” you whined. “You knew that would make me cry.” “That’s why I didn’t want to fucking say it.” “But you did, and it was beautiful.” “Don’t start that shit, oh my God.” “Give me a hug, Seth,” you cried. “No, what? Don’t get near me.” “Please?” He was halfway off his seat, keeping the distance between the two of you at its max. “Absolutely not.” “Come on.” He looked at you, mascara sliding down your face, eyes red and puffy. But happy. You were happy, and he saw that. So he couldn’t say no. “Ugh, fine.”

The rest of the flight was uneventful, and the both of you made it to your parents’ place in one piece. You wrapped your blue scarf tightly around your neck, pulled your jacket closer against you. It was freezing. You grabbed your suitcase and left Seth to pay the driver. Mom had the door open before you could even knock. “Sweetheart!” “Merry Christmas, Mom!” You wrapped her in a warm embrace. “Merry Christmas to you, too, honey. Go on, your father’s in the living room. Oh, Seth!” She reached for her beloved son, paying no more mind to you, her daughter. You rolled your eyes, dropping off your suitcase by the stairs. “Happy holidays, Ma.” “Oh, that’s right. The non-believer,” Mom said jokingly. “Mom,” you chastised, saving your brother from torture. “Be nice.” “Okay, okay….are you hungry? There’s leftovers in the fridge if you want some.” “Good, I’m starved.” He said, rubbing at his tummy. She led him by the hand to the kitchen, and you smiled. “Catering can’t beat your cooking.” He was a momma’s boy through and through, that one. You heard laughter coming from the living room. It sounded like two voices. One deep, one mellow. You traipsed through the doorway yelling, “Dad! I’m home!” before you stopped short, catching that flair of ginger, those dazzling eyes. “Dean?” you gasped. He had told you his flight was delayed, that he wouldn’t be there for another couple hours or so. “Hey, babe. Your dad and I were just talkin’ about the day you were born.” “Yeah, a chubby lil’ thing,” Dad grunted, remembering the day well. “I’d never thought you’d grow into the big, strong woman you are now.” “Papi!” You plopped down next to him on the couch before he could stand, squeezing him tightly. “Hola, mijita. How’s my little girl?” “I’m great, pa, now that all three of my boys are here, together.” Dean let out a few light chuckles. “Don’t let Roman hear you say that. You’ll break his heart.”

After spending quite some time in the living room with your mom, dad, Seth, and Dean (consisting heavily of nagging from your mother and saving Seth from interrogation, starting with “So, Seth, honey, how’s your love life going? Am I going to be expecting some grandchildren anytime soon from any of your lovers?” and ending with “How are you going to find yourself a good, loving relationship with a woman if you don’t have a good, loving relationship with God?”), Mom and Dad retired to bed, your dad claiming to be exhausted from second-hand nagging, and your mother just tired of her heathen spawn (a lie, of course, she loved both of you know matter what). Seth chuckled, shaking his head. “Is it like this every time you come home?” Dean asked, clearly amused at the mother-son dynamic. You were sitting on his lap, sinking both of you deeper and deeper into the soft couch, but Dean didn’t seem to mind. His hands held you cozily, one hand on your outer thigh, the other wrapped around and tucked into your under arm. He claimed he liked your warmth. “Just at Christmas. Otherwise, I have free reign.” You conversed back and forth for a while, all of you entranced with the conversation of, “So what are we going to do come January? What are the storylines going to look like?” It was safe to say all of you were workaholics. There was something strange about being home, as if home was really somewhere else, on the road, with the rest of the crew. Five years ago, that would have been abhorrent to think about - not having a true home. But it took you that long to realize your home was anywhere Dean and Seth were. Roman, too. Just then, you heard Roman’s all too familiar voice from somewhere beneath you. “You can Believe That!™” Dean didn’t flinch or jump, but something in his voice sounded a little shaken. “What the hell?” You laughed, the look on Dean and Seth’s faces completely priceless. “That’s Roman’s text tone on my phone. I made him record it a couple weeks ago.” “That’s the….most terrible thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” Seth griped at you, pushing his glasses back up his nose. “You can practically hear the trademark in his voice.” “He’s right, that sounds terrible.” “Don’t be mean to Roman! It was my idea anyway. I forced him into it,” you slapped Dean on the arm, reached behind you to see what Roman sent, making sure to keep the screen away from Dean’s eyes. [So?] You quickly sent back, [Not yet. Shush.] You hoped he’d realize that he shouldn’t send any more messages. When you heard his trademark again, you nearly broke down in anger, but were surprised to find a picture of Roman and Galina in Cancun, the beautiful bright blue water shining behind them. He was kissing her cheek, and you could see the blush lightly shading her gorgeous brown skin. “What’s he saying?” You silently thanked Roman for not listening to your text, ultimately giving you some back up evidence in case Dean asked. And he had. You showed him the picture of Galina and Roman. “Aren’t they adorable?” “Yeah. They look so happy. Good for them.” You handed the phone to Seth. “They’re so precious.” “I wouldn’t say Roman is precious.” “Ugh, whatever!” Seth handed the phone back, and made to stand. He stretched his arms, his black haired happy trail visible for a moment. “Well,” he groaned, “I’m gonna hit the sack. Maybe play some videogames before I go to sleep. You need anything, Dean, clothes or anything, just let me know.” “Thanks, brother. Good night.”

“You wanna go for a walk with me?” Dean asked, squeezing you tightly. Sometimes it really struck you how different Dean could be from the man he played in the ring. Sure, there were some truths to his character - the impulsive nature, the (for the most part) no-care attitude…but there were a lot of traits he possessed that no one ever got to see, and would be surprised to find out about him. He was very sweet, and very touchy. He loved to keep his hands on you in every moment, whether it was a thumb pressed against your side or a hand on your thigh. You weren’t nearly as touchy, which you considered a side effect of never being touched. Your parents were only semi-affectionate in the touch department, hugs in welcome and kisses good night. And your infrequent experience with men didn’t help, either. But all of that was okay. All that time lacking personal affection made his touch all the more welcome. His touch was the only touch that really, truly, made you feel safe. But his touch wasn’t going to keep you warm outside, unfortunately. “Dean, it’s in the twenties. That’s below freezing. Have you forgotten the snow on the ground?” “So?” he shrugged, “it’ll be fun.” You both sat there in silence, mulling it over. You could hear him humming softly, awaiting your response. His cheek vibrated beneath yours as he did so, and you grinned. It was only then that you realized he was humming silently the chorus to Bad Touch. You and me, baby, we’re nothing but mammals

So let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel Repeatedly. For no reason. “Okay,” you laughed, “if only to get you to stop humming that song.” “It’s so catchy.” “Exactly. I don’t want to catch it.” “Alright, baby, up you get,” Dean said, patting your thighs, signaling for you to get off him. You stood, turned back to grab his hand and help him up from his sunken position in the couch. “You’re really stuck in there, aren’t you?” He grunted, “I had about 243 pounds of love on top of me.” “Have you been stalking my Wikipedia page?” You pulled on him, hard. He popped out of the couch and rammed into you, nearly knocking the both of you backwards. “Whoops,” he muttered, hands gently resting at your waist, quick to benefit from the blunder. “And no, I haven’t. I do watch women’s matches, you know. Especially yours. I know how they bill you.” “And do you know my actual weight?” His proud smile dropped in confusion. “You mean that’s not your weight?” “It was. Now it’s not.” “You got me.” He gave you a kiss on the nose. “I have no clue what your actual weight is.” “Two forty. I lost three pounds last week.” “Now why’d you go and do that for?” “Because I wanted them to bill me with an even number,” you laughed. “Baby, that’s three pounds less of you to love.” He sighed dramatically. “But if it makes you happy, it makes me happy. I’m proud of you.” “Thanks, Dean.” “So will you take that walk with me?” “Of course I will.”

Whoever thought hell was a burning pit of fire had never seen ice. The field that your parents called their backyard glistened with snow. The trees bordering the field were a good acre away at least, and the driveway in front was already being blanketed with tiny little snowflakes. It was fucking freezing, the wind was quietly howling in your ears, and Dean’s body was as cold as your own. It was a good day to die together, you mused. “Dean, why did you talk me into this?” You seethed through chattering teeth. “I have no earthly idea,” he trembled, hands holding one of your own close to his chest as y'all walked. You were glad of it. It was easing the cold, if but a fraction. “But I’m starting to regret it. Come on, we can take shelter in the barn.” “Dean, I don’t think that’s-” But he was gone, in the blink of an eye he had crossed the distance from you to the barn, cold hands rubbing together; he blew on them to melt his frozen fingers, and opened the barn door just a smidge. He slithered in, careful not to open it too far or else he’d let in too much of the cold. He’d regret that, too. That barn was always a mess. You stood there in the snow, speechless. You were amazed at his impulsive nature, and how very quickly he left you out in the cold by yourself. “He just-?” you muttered, flabbergasted. You shook your head, and continued the walk to the barn, cursing silently at him but also finding his behavior extremely funny. His head popped out suddenly from the crack of the barn door. “Come on, babe, what gives?” “Oh, I’ll fucking show you what gives.” More grumbling from you, followed by rubbing of your arms as you reached the door. “Fucking left me out in the damn-” You shut up as soon as you saw the scene before you, straight out of a teen fairytale. Twinkling fairy lights strung across the ceiling. And it was clean. Even the horses in their stables smelled like flowers, and there were a great deal of flowers. They covered every inch of the barn, from the floor to the top, the hay bales on the loft nearly invisible under the coat of white and purple roses. Every piece of farming equipment was mounted and stored at one corner of the barn, out of mind and spotless. And Dean: mouth closed, lips curled at one end in a crooked smile. A red rose in his hand, trembling slightly. Ocean blue eyes bright with hope. “Dean?” He stepped close, handed you the rose. “Hold this flower.” You giggled, accepting it, in awe at the way he presented it to you. You were very confused. Sure, you knew what was happening, but you were amazed at how. The shock of the beauty surrounding you had you thinking. He planned this out, all right. He planned this out well. He had help, and lots of it. And this was so un-Dean. “Ya like it?” He asked, nonchalant as ever. Only the trembling in his left hand gave away his true feelings. He caught you staring at it, and he buried it in the pocket of his jeans, taking a step back from you. “It’s beautiful,” you sighed, taking a whiff of the dazzling rose. It smelled fresh, crisper than the scent of cold. You made to take a step closer to him, but he stopped you, holding out a palm. “No, just stand right there.” You did as he commanded, waiting patiently. He ran a hand through his hair, dropped it to scratch at his beard. You wondered what he was going to say. “Look, you’re probably wondering what all this is.” You nodded, silent. “I planned this out. With your mom and dad. Strange, I know,” he chuckled. “I’m not usually the kind of guy with a plan. I’m that guy with the impulse, the kinda guy who changes his mind once, twice, three times in the span of five minutes.” “But this took me weeks to plan, and I did it. All of it. For you.” By then you were on the verge of crying. You did your best not to, but you drew your eyes to the ground, shying away from his words. He took a step closer, and stopped himself. “Stay with me, babe. Show me those beautiful eyes. I need you to listen to me. Please.” You nodded, looking back up to him, doing your best to hold back your tears. “[Y/N], I planned this out for you because I wanted to prove to you that you are not some impulse. I’ve thought about it, for weeks, months even. All that time apart, you and Seth and Roman on Raw and me on Smackdown, I thought about it.” He sighed, but not a sigh of resignation…but one of love. “I love you. I love you so much. I love every little bit of you. I love your laugh. Your eyes. That you can’t keep a secret worth a damn. Your dimples. The small freckles that litter your body. Your humor. Your tummy fat. Your hip fat. The way your arm jiggles when I poke it. Your gorgeous, chubby cheeks. Your plump ass. No, don’t stop me now, I’m almost done,” he held his hand up again, stopping you from your wordless protests. “I love every single bit of you and I promise you, though you may not love it yourself, I’ll love you enough for the both of us.” A shudder of breath escaped your lips, still unable to grasp the reality of the situation. He stepped closer, dropped down on one knee. His hands fumbled at his jacket pocket, took out the small, navy velvet box. “I know that I won’t always be the best person. I’m an impulsive, belligerent, don’t-give-a-damn kind of fool.” His fingers opened the box, revealing a small diamond on a simple silver band, absolutely perfect. “But I promise I will make you laugh every day for the rest of our lives, if you’ll let me.” “I guess what I’m trying to say is, will you marry me?” You couldn’t choke back the tears any longer. You dropped down to look Dean in the eyes and nodded desperately, a silent yes all he needed in order to wrap his arms around you and kiss you on the forehead, rubbing his nose against yours. “For all intents and purposes, that was a yes, right?” He asked. “Of course, you asshole,” you cried, not wanting to let him go. You could feel him chuckling against you, before his head lifted away from you and he shouted in the direction of the barn door. “Come on in, everybody!” Seth came in first, black beanie covering his ears from the cold, jacket wrapped tight against him. “It’s about fucking time, goddamn it.” “You know, for someone who doesn’t believe in God, you sure like to invoke his wrath a whole lot more than the average person.” “Ma, please.” “Honey, leave him alone,” Dad appeared behind his wife and son, “this isn’t about him. This is about my baby girl.” His arms reached for you as you stood up to embrace him, the strong scent of his cologne filling your nostrils. The road might be home, but your old man never failed to make you feel welcome. “Heya, Papi.” “Congratulations, mijita.” He let you go, and held out a hand to his son-to-be. “And congratulations to you, too, Dean. You better take care of her.” “I will, sir.” “I mean it. I may not be as young as I used to be, and I’m not a wrestler by any means, but I can still kick your ass.” Behind them, you could hear the sound of Seth’s laughter at his stepdad’s words as your mother embraced you. “He’s not bluffing,” Seth stated. “I believe you, Mr. Lopez.” “Damn right ya do.” In all the excitement, you hadn’t realized that your phone was buzzing in your back pocket, the sound of Roman’s voice once again floating to your ears. [So did he propose yet or what?] You weren’t so lucky this time around. “Roman told you?” Oh, fuck.

#Dean ambrose #Dean ambrose imagine #wwe #wwe imagine #dean ambrose fluff #roman reigns #seth rollins #text #my fics #mine

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festivebb4-blog · 6 years

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Jury Questions and Answers, and Closing Statements:

Jury question from Owen - Why don't the other two people you're sitting next to deserve to win, and why do you deserve it more?

Timmy: Hi Owen! I don’t think Amanda deserves to win because she did not make moves during this game. It was easy for her to get this far because she wasn’t seen as a threat and while that can be seen as a good way to play, I think in this situation I played a better game. I deserve to win over Amanda because I always put in the effort to make moves that would benefit my game even if it risked me being a target. Even when I was a target for some people I was able to use my social game to stay over others. Ali does not deserve to win because I was in control of the moves Ali made. Ali was an amazing ally to have and he is a great friend but the things he did in this game were things that I told him to do. I deserve to win over Ali because I helped him get this far. From a different standpoint, I won more competitions than both of them and made moves out in the open, which some disagreed with, and I was still able to make it this far.

Amanda: Why do i deserve it more- Do you know the vine thats like "Im a bad bitch you cant kill me" thats me in this game lolol i should have been booted sooooo long ago but i kept weaseling my way through. You Rhone and I got seen as a very known trio and i made sure you guys looked scarier than me and once you left i played the "poor me i have nothing" card and it gained me allies with people who should have been getting me out and obviously it worked because im here :)

Ali: ajkhfdakskjfdas owen making me be mean, I hate. Amanda doesn't deserve to win because while she seems like a lovely person, I don't think was especially committed to this game and I don't think she has done all that much. Her and Rhone would consistently vote together, and I don't think she has been a threat for a long time. Additionally, she has consistently just kind of voted with the same people and been in the minority, just sticking to her friends (which she must have good choice in, since you two are friends). Compared to me, I would try and make connections on all sides of the house, I was in a huge variety of alliance chats, with Dana and Zach, with Timmy and John, with you and Ruthie, with Madison, I was always working to make sure I had connections everywhere, which solidified my spot in the majority for literally every vote. Timmy has played a phenomenal challenge game, he won many many comps. With that said, while he was nominated many times (which potentially stems from his weaker social game), it would be my vote that would save him. We have worked quite closely together, but it was my social game that meant that unlike him I never received an eviction vote and was only a final nominee once . When he made unpopular (and surprising) decisions like in the live night, I would do damage control with people like Zach to ensure people I trusted I could balance between. I didn't need to rely on competitions to get here, I used a strong social game as the foundation to a strategic game which allowed me to make it this far. I deserve your vote Owen because I played hard. I was consistently a swing vote and made some hard strategic decisions (like voting out Dana) to ensure my safety going forwards. You once again were terrifying to play with, but I feel like this time (more than last time) I should have earned your respect and thus your vote.

Jury question from Madison: I have the flu so can you ask them how I've impacted them in the community

Amanda: Madison we've gotten through so much trash over the time ive known you and we're still alive. Like girl we got through hell and so much random ass shit here you're so fun and i love you you'll always be my meme queen

Timmy: Hi Madison! I hope you feel better soon!!! You have impacted me in many ways in the community. You are always someone who I am happy to talk to and I know I can have a good laugh with. There are a lot of people who I only talk to because we are in a game together and that’s just how it works out, but we talk outside of games and I enjoy that. You have added me to some random chats, and while I have still yet to take advantage of jackbox nights, I appreciate that you invited me into that. Also, I would have applied to Alcatraz because you’re hosting it but 4 games is already a lot (even though this one is about to end).

Ali: Madison, you have impacted me in the community in that you've become a friend. I remember in Festive 3 when I had to do that satanic slide puzzle for that veto comp and I was so sad and disappointed in myself and you were being so supportive and great. This sounds so incredibly corny, but from there I knew you were a friend and thats why I play these games, to meet new iconic people. Since then, it's been my pleasure to know you and call you a friend and root for you in VLs for games, and I'm so happy we got to play together too, even though it cut short (still sorry about that!)!

Jury question from Ruthie - What are three reasons you deserve my jury vote over the other two in the final 3?

Timmy: Hi Ruthie! I hope you’re having a great time in Disney!! The first reason is that I made moves that I believe changed the game. These moves were in the weeks that John stayed over Chrissa, when I stayed over John, and during the live double. In the week where John stayed, I made multiple calls that day to keep him safe. I was able to convince Zach and Dana to talk to him since they had no prior relationship with him and did not see the original benefit of keeping him. I see this as a move that changed the game because many sides and alliances were exposed under the surface, especially those surrounding Amanda, Owen, and Rhone and I knew I was still able to trust John, so it was in my best interest to keep him. In the week that I stay over John, I knew I was the target, so I could have easily laid down and accept my fate, but I had to fight. Owen had kept nominating me and therefore he wanted me out, but I was able to convince people to look past the “I need to know what others are doing” mentality and show that they all had that and keep me because I am more beneficial. With that move I was able to get Owen out the next week during the double and if I had not done that then the trio of Amanda, Owen, and Rhone would probably have outlasted all of us. The second reason is that I won competitions when I needed to. I won 3 HoHs and 2 vetos. I was able to save myself with both of those vetos, the more important of the two being at F5 when I knew if I had not won I would have left. With the HoHs, at least the 2nd and 3rd, since the first was in week 1, I was able to get rid of people who would have or were already targeting me, Owen and Zach. I think this is important to note as one of the reasons because collectively between Ali and Amanda they only won 2 competitions. The third reason is that I was on the block at the end of the week 4 times and people still did not get rid of me. I never saw myself as a background player in this game because I was always telling people what I wanted to happen and making the right moves to allow those things to happen and somehow people kept me. I always made sure that there was at least one person who looked more threatening than me. I will say though that the situation was different in the Josh vote because he was inactive so I did not put much effort into that vote since it was obvious that he was leaving. Because of those reasons, I believe that I deserve your jury vote over the other time. Sorry, I know you’re on vacation and this is a lot to read, but have fun with the rest of your trip!!

Ali: Hey Ruthie! I'd say three reasons I deserve your vote are:

1. I have never received a vote to evict this season nor have I been in the minority for a vote (the other two have been at least one of those). Timmy was nominated many times,but it was always my votes saving him 2. I played super hard this season, you were my number one and you saw that we were with Dana and Zach, Owen, Madison and Zach, basically I made sure I had connections everywhere, and I think the other two just stuck with who they were close to only. I was also in an alliance with John and Timmy, so it's clear I was working to find numbers all the time everywhere. 3. Other than our BOTB win (so iconic) I haven't needed to win a comp till F4 to evict the biggest threat in the game (Zach). My social and strategic game got me here,while I think Timmy's game was very comp dependent.

Amanda: Lets be honest i shouldve been right out the door after owen and rhone but im here i might not have won comps but 1- i made deals with people i needed to to stay safe and 2- made sure people liked me enough to not want me to leave

And 3- The Disney Gods want you to vote for me

Jury Question from John: Hi final 3! I love you all dearly first off, and this is going to be a very difficult decision. 1. Write me an essay on why you love me 2. If you could compare your gameplay to an animal, what would it be and why?

Amanda: HI BABYYYYY!! You're my John Coffeycakes and I love you so so much. Your BGC snaps are my faves and you always make me laugh. You're literally one of the most genuine and sweet people I know and you honestly brighten up my day everytime we talk! I cried when you left this game and ive missed you so much. I could get even more mushy but i think you already know how much i love you.

2- A monkey because I keep my babies on my back and take care of them picking all the little bugs from their hair. I also sit around eating a banana while everyone else crashed and burned but now Ali and Timmy are trying to TAKE THE BIGGEST BANANA IVE EVER SEEN AND I WANNA EAT IT IM ABOUT TO GO KING KONG ON THIS SHIT.

Ali: 1. John, I love you because while I knew a fair amount of the players before this season, you were one of the few who I only know very loosely (I'd seen you met up with Cameron so knew you already had great taste in friends!). It's been such a real pleasure to get to know and play with you this season, and to become friends afterwards! You are so sweet and so nice, and you don't take these games even remotely personally. My game highlight was the night when like 10 different game calls happening but our one was really fun because we got the game out of the way pretty quickly and then were just able to have fun! You are truly winning crossroads and can add it to all the other things you've won (i.e. festive and everyone hearts). One of the best things to come out of this game is I can now call you friend! 2. I'd compare my gameplay to an octopus in thats my key strength were all the connections and links I made in the house (like an octopus' tentacles). I voted in the majority every single round, and that came from me using my social connections to ensure what I wanted to happen happened and that my votes counted. Like the little squishy suction cups on an octopus' tentacles I would keep attached to everyone which is why I didnt receive a single eviction vote this entire season! Finally I'm an octopus in that.... well you can't play flash games with squishy tentacles which explains why they weren't my friend.

Timmy: Hi John! I’m going to let you know right now, I suck at essays, so this will be shorter than one and will not have the appropriate structure of an essay (also, I’m still on break for the next 24 hours so the thought of an academic style answer is not in me). But to at least answer your question, you were easily one of my favorite people in this game, both on a game level and on a personal level. The first reason was because you were easy to talk to. I am a very awkward person, especially just talking online just because things could come off in a different way than intended but I didn’t find myself having that issue talking to you. Also, in your intro one of the first things you said was that you like being drunk and my first thought was “relatable, me, same” and I knew you would be someone I could get along with. For a large portion of this game you were my number 1 ally and I knew I could trust you which was always important to me since I could just openly talk to you about what I was thinking which is not easy to do in games. I was always able to freak out to you about different things happening and we were always on the same page with what was going on and what we wanted to do about it. To kind of conclude this brief essay, you are a great person who is funny and was always there when I was freaking out and that’s why I love you. To answer the second question, I would simply say that my gameplay could be compared to a cat. Some people like cats, some don’t, which is kind of what my gameplay was like, some people agreed with my moves while others thought I was stupid at times. Another reason is that a cat can be soft and warm up to people and then at any point switch and be angry and I had my moments with that, sometimes turning my targets very quickly based on what was going on around me. Thanks for the questions. 😊

Zach’s Jury Question: Name some fun facts about me and tell me why u should win thanks

Ali:

- Zach is the king of geckos - Zach has a great pride tattoo - Zach has played 100 days in Athena because he is iconic - Zach has a concerning effect on how I speak, in that I've started saying "I lav it" and "hort" which I'm definitely subconsciously copying from himI deserve to win, because while I've undersold it, I've had a lot of control over this game. I am the only player who hasn't received a single vote to evict this season (or ever) and I was in the majority for every.single.vote. I would make moves to benefit my game, ensuring that threats were going home, and who would benefit my game. I didn't rely on competition wins, until I absolutely needed to, which was ensuring that you didn't win veto and potentially evict me, and so that I could vote to evict you from the game. You were truly the biggest threat in this game, you had such an underdog story and it wasn't something I felt I could rival, so I needed to see you go. Compared to Timmy, while he has had an on point challenge game and has survived many evictions, my votes would consistently be what saved him and I feel like my social game with my strategy gave me a lot of control. I had connections with everyone, alliances all over the shop, and yet I managed to navigate them and ensure my spot at F3. Amanda is a queen, but hasn't been especially committed to this game and I don't feel like has played in a way that deserves to win? (I love her though)

Amanda: You come from a long line of furbies and ilysm. I should win because i'm cute and everyone loves a female winner :*

Timmy: Hi Zach! Some fun facts about you: You live in Canada, you hate mayo, you’re very good at keeping a snap streak going when I’m really bad at it. I should win this game because I played my hardest at all stages during this game. We had conversations about how people were not using their full potential and only a few people deserve to win in the end and I think I am one of those people (who should win). I actively used my social game to stay each week. Some might argue that it was not good because I kept getting nominated, but most of those times I was only nominated by Owen. I got my way during a lot of hard times. Specifically noting the weeks that Chrissa and John left. During the day of the Chrissa vote I spent a big chunk of the day on calls convincing people to keep John because that was a lot better for my game. I got a lot of information from you and Dana and got you guys to talk to John and vote to keep him. John and I were able to convince Ali because of the relationship we had already built with him. When John left, it sucked because I was up against him and he was my number 1 at that point. I knew I was the target and I could have laid down and accepted that but instead I decided to fight and flip the vote. Most people were telling me that day that they would only vote to keep me if others did, so I had to work hard to let everyone know that that was a majority consensus so just vote to keep me and you will be fine. And I stayed. I won competitions when I needed to and got targets out, specifically in the live double. Owen had nominated me many times at that point and I knew I had to get rid of him, so I had like 12 tabs open to try and win HoH which I did. I’m still sorry that I nominated you but my only plan going into that night was to try and get Owen evicted. Two of the times I was nominated I won veto and was able to save myself; the more important of the two being in F5 when I definitely would have gone home if I had not won. I think I should win because I played the game to the best of my ability and thrived, especially after coming in 2nd the season before. This is really one of the first games where I was not afraid to say what my plans were and who I wanted to go and there was only a handful of times during the game where I did not know what was happening (mainly when Owen played the Spook d’état). I hope this answers your question.

Closing Statements:

Amanda: Hi everybodyyyyyy! I know i'm probably the last choice on all of your lists right now but i'm here and i'm having fun! I aligned with the people i needed to and placed myself in the middle of two alliances which kept me in a safe spot for the first half of this game. When we got to Rhones hoh/ the week after everything went to shit and i had to rethink things. I was stuck between two allinces and people were catching onto Rhone Owen and I being a trio. That got completely exposed and everyone was coming at us so i laid low so the two of them ended up looking like the bigger targets and they got taken out before me. After they left i felt alone as fuck and put myself out to zach and made the deal i needed to move forward. I always made sure i had backup relationships for when one crashed and I managed to weasel myself here. Even if I dont win i beat my placement and had a fun ass time doing it and I love you all <3 #FEMINISM

Ali: Hey Jurors! Thank you for an iconic season, it’s been a pleasure to play again with some of you, or meet some faces I’ve seen floating around various VLs. Thank you also to the hosts for hosting an iconic season, it was a pleasure to be invited back to festive and I’m so glad I’ve done myself justice by playing so much better.

When I played my first game, the main critique I got at FTC was that I made friends with everyone but I did nothing with those bonds. Thus, in this game, my philosophy has been to weaponize my social game ; make these social connections but actually do something with them. Consistently in votes, I would be a swing vote determining who would go home, to the point where I was in the majority for every single vote this season. I would use my connections all across the house with my web of alliances (Dana/Zach, Zach/Ruthie/Madison, Ruthie/Dana/Zach, Ruthie/Owen & John/Timmy) to not only keep myself safe but to ensure who I wanted to see go home went home (indicated by how I was in the majority for literally every single vote this season). Additionally, I would position myself so that it was in everyone’s best interest to keep me in the game, hence why I received no votes to evict this season. Social game is hard to quantify, but me winning MVP, which was voted for by players in the game, showed that my social game was universal and I was on average the most liked/supported player in the game.

Thank you everyone for playing, its been an iconic season and I'm looking forward to the reunion chat.

Timmy: Hi everyone! Thank you for the questions, I hope I answered them to your satisfaction. If I did not, hopefully I can highlight a few things in this statement. I came into this game thinking I would have a huge target on my back because I got 2nd place last season, and granted I did not do much then, it was my ultimate goal to beat that placement here. I think that through the moves I made and the competitions I won to make those moves, I deserve to win this game. I already explained certain moves in some of the jury questions and I just want to briefly mention them again. In the week Chrissa left, I spent a lot of time messaging people and on calls to make sure that John would stay and was even able to convince people like Zach and Dana, who had no prior working relationship with John, to keep him. I even used my vote replacement on Owen and Ruthie just to make sure that he would stay in case something happened. I thought this was smart because I knew it was a safe backup since I had not talked to either of them about the vote. When I was on the block against John, I felt extremely defeated since Owen had hinted using the veto on me and then he nominated John, who was basically my number 1 at that point. I could have laid down and died in this game, but I made people aware of reasons why they should keep me and used my social game to keep me in a 4-2 vote when people all day were saying “maybe, but it depends on what other people are doing”. Then that next week I was able to get Owen out in the live double and, granted I made a few mistakes that night, I was able to put myself in a good spot heading into the rest of the game because the main person who was targeting me was evicted. I was on the block at the end of the week 4 times during this game and was able to stay each time which says something because there were chances to get rid of me, but people did not take those. I think I should win this game because I worked extremely hard to get to this point, harder than I have in any other game, and I made moves both behind the scenes and out in the open and was able to get to this point. Thank you!

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