shoes in FMA rated on how comfortable they'd be to fight in
Edward Elric
considering Ed's uhhh very distinct taste in aesthetics, these could be a lot worse. they look relatively comfortable and don't seem like they'd be difficult to move around in. they are platforms though, which I imagine makes things more difficult. I'll be generous and give these a 7/10
Most of the Amestrian military
pretty much everyone in uniform wears the same shoes, so I'm lumping them all together. these are Roy's, if that matters. they look fine. I imagine that because it is part of a military uniform, it's designed to be moved around in and worn for hours on end, so ideally they're relatively comfortable. it doesn't look like there's much traction, but they're usually fighting on flat surfaces so whatever. 8/10
Fu and Lan Fan
these shoes fucking rule. the picture I've included is Lan Fan's, but they wear p much the same shoes. I fucking love these things. they have spikes. Edward Elric fucking wishes. considering this seems to be part of the bodyguard uniform, I'd imagine they're as easy to run around in as the military shoes, if not better since they're expected to be doing martial arts in them. but most importantly, they have spikes. 10/10, no notes.
Ling and Mei
on the topic of doing martial arts, both Ling and Mei wear these.... I'm not sure what they are. flats? slippers? it's unclear. (EDIT: they are apparently Kung Fu shoes!) they seem relatively easy to move around in I guess since they're not very cumbersome and both Ling and Mei rely on being very nimble. they look like they have absolutely no support in the soles though, which is gonna get painful after a certain point. also depending on what fabric they're made of, they could definitely start chafing. I've worn flats. I know that hell. 7/10 for the potential blisters, but at least they're designed specifically for martial arts
Greedling and Bradley
it's hard to get a good shot in this scene because neither of them stop moving, but I swear to god, they're fighting in dress shoes. I cannot stand them. this CANNOT be comfortable. I know Greed prioritizes aesthetics over function so this was probably a compromise between his and Ling's tastes but ohhh my god. he was probably wasting so much of the philosopher's stone just passively healing the million blisters on his feet from running around in these things. there's a chance Bradley is wearing the military uniform shoes but I think he was in more formal dress when he got blown the fuck up, so I don't think so. no wonder he complains about being sore, quit running around in dress shoes you fucking moron. 4/10.
Greed
THESE FUCKING THIIIIIIIINGS. WHY ARE THEY POINTY AT THE END. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SOMEONE HIT HIS FOOT WITH A MALLET AND FLATTENED THEM. he's so dumb. I love him. looking at these things tells me he would probably wear goth cowboy boots if he could, and tbh that would probably look better. 3/10 for Greed's overall silly as hell fashion sense
Lust
okay. the heels make sense considering her whole vibe. however. these are part of her fucking BODY. when she gets incinerated, they grow back. can she even take them off???? I'm scared to ask. I guess if theyre part of her body, she doesn't have to worry about adjusting to balancing in them like you would normally with heels, but oh my god. she can never wear normal shoes. I would also be murderous if I had to wear heels all the time. 4/10.
Father and Izumi
guys. these are sandals. it has been four hundred years and Father is still wearing the same outfit he was wearing in the damn desert. find a new outfit man. Izumi is apparently wearing bathroom slippers (hence the WC) so idk why she's even wearing those out of the house. Father gets 0/10 and Izumi gets 1/10 because she still manages to kick everyone's asses while wearing these, so respect
Envy
PUT YOUR FUCKING TOES AWAY. -10000000/10
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arthur repealing the ban on magic and sitting merlin and morgana down to figure out who is going to be court sorcerer and ready to mediate a debate but before morgana can even open her mouth, merlin passes to position onto her. arthur and morgana just stare, morgana makes feeble attempts to spark an argument, to instigate merlin to at least fight for it. even arthur is like “…you don’t even want, like, a room or something for your magic work?? none of the perks?? a different position in the court?????” and merlin’s just like “nope! i’m good!” and morgana and arthur exchange a look before arthur asks why. merlin’s answer is that his position, where he belongs, is at arthur’s side. besides. morgana deserves it. she was snubbed from becoming queen so it was only fair.
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god… rewatching neverafter again
and the intro scenes are a mixed bag in terms of terror
rosamund is kind of freaky with the vines and the dead princes, but then we have gerard’s, which is very amusing. pib’s is also pretty funny. mother goose’s is dark bc his son is dead, but they still joke about the gander
then we get to ylfa. and brennan and emily show the darkest and saddest origin story i have ever seen for little red riding hood. a little girl, lost in every way possible, confused and alone and scared, begging her mother to let her in, and her mother refuses. her mother says that her daughter is dead and gone and a monster stands in her place. ylfa doesn’t want to be a monster. she wants to go home. but she is different, and her home turns on her, and that betrayal turns her on them. she huffs and she puffs and she blows the family that left her for dead away
and pinocchio. pinocchio whose mother is a shadow in a doorway. pinocchio who became a boy by being good, only to lose that gift by lying to save his father. pinocchio who loves his father enough to lie, and must now keep on lying to serve a woman he has never even looked in the eyes
there’s something very fitting about the children in this fairy tale land having the most horrifying stories. those stories about children straying from the path or needing to never tell a lie or misbehave in order to be real, they’re meant as warnings. be good, children, or you’ll never have the respect that adults get. be good, or the monsters in the shadows will come for you. be good, or you’ll die
in a season that was meant to be horror but was subverted by the players knowing the theme, i appreciate even more the darker corners of the story
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HARRY KANE (10) & SON HEUNGMIN (7)
OF TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR
The greatest partnership to ever exist in the world of football.
“When you turn, I will be always there.”
BBC Sport / Kane and Son break the all-time record for Premier League goal combinations / The Guardian / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Liverpool 1-1 Tottenham, 07th May 2022 / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Manchester United 1-6 Tottenham, 04th October 2020 / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Aston Villa 0-4 Tottenham, 09th April 2022 / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Tottenham 2-0 West Ham United / Kane on Twitter after assisting Son on 4 goals against Southampton / Tottenham 1-0 Burnley, 26th Oct 2020 / Nice to Mich You, Son Heungmin / Premier League / Kane and Son hug during Manchester City 2-3 Tottenham, 19th Feb 2022 / Kane and Son hug during Tottenham 1-0 Crystal Palace, 20th Sept 2015 / Kane consoles Son during the Carabao Cup final against Manchester City / Kane and Son celebrate during Tottenham 5-2 Southampton, 26th Dec 2017 / Commentator on the Kane and Son partnership / Tottenham 2-0 Arsenal, 06th Dec 2020 / Caption from ‘Heungmin Son and Harry Kane guess their Premier League goal combinations’ / Stray Kids, I am YOU / Kane and Son celebrate during a 6-1 game against Leicester City, 18th May 2017 / Kane and Son celebrate during a 4-0 game against Everton, 13th Jan 2018 / Kane on Twitter / Frank O’Hara, ‘Morning’ / Kane wins the Golden Boot 20/21 / Son wins the Golden Boot 21/22 / Kane assists Son against Southampton / Caption from ‘Heungmin Son and Harry Kane guess their Premier League goal combinations’ / Mitski, Francis Forever / YouTube: Record breakers! Kane & Son react to becoming Premier League’s most deadly duo! / FootballJOE on Twitter, referencing Son’s trademark goal celebration, the ‘camera,’ through which he is looking at Kane / Gang of Youths, ‘Achilles Come Down’ / Kane and Son celebrate their goal against Arsenal / Kane on his relationship and link-ups with Son / Son and Kane on Instagram / Kane and Son after Kane assisted Son on four goals against Southampton / Tottenham 3-2 Ajax, 08th May 2019 / cr. Shaun Botterill, Getty Images / Commentator on the Kane and Son partnership / Tottenham 3-2 Manchester City, 19th Feb 2022 / Caption from ‘Heungmin Son and Harry Kane guess their Premier League goal combinations’
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ok so we all agree that jedi sports are just like, ludicrously insane, right?
like jedi baseball is really only technically sort of like baseball, if you squint very hard and are also very drunk. the ball is a stunner shot, the bat is your lightsaber, and it's less 'catching to throw out' and more 'deflecting it directly at the runner'.
Jedi soccer has a special pitch with re-inforced walls and ceiling because the last time a ball escaped the pitch it went through three buildings.
the less said about jedi track and field events, the better.
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