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hisan-miren · 3 years

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Redacted File

The Love Letter Pt 2

The next morning, Mina was almost bouncing she was so excited. She threw on a dress, inhaled her breakfast, completely ignoring the startled stares of her parents, and all but dashed over to Raios' house to pick him up for school. She rocked on her feet, looking over the entryway of the large, traditional-styled mansion as she waited for her best friend to be ready. His sister came out first- already an adult, she was going to work at the café she'd recently opened.

“Oh! Mina! Waiting for my brother?” the girl asked.

“Yup!”

“Geez, what's that idiot doing making you wait? Rather, he should be the one going to pick you up. You know you can tell him off, right? You can do so much better than him, I promise you.”

Mina just gave a nervous laugh.

“It's fine, I woke up early this morning, so I was ready a bit sooner than usual is all. Plus, my place is in the opposite direction from school. It makes way more sense for me to come to him.” That, and she was secretly afraid that he found their morning commute a bother. What if she waited for him and he never came because he didn't want her around? She wasn't sure she'd be able to stand it. She'd been all confident when she was going off about it to her friends the other day, but in reality she was far more insecure about her crush on him than she let on. She desperately wanted him to be in love with her as much as she was with him because then that'd mean that she could marry her best friend and be together with him forever!

The door slid open again and a ln angry-faced teenager emerged, glaring at the both of them.

“You better not be harassing her, aneki.”

“GAH!” Raios' sister gripped her heart and fell over like she'd been shot. “You see that?! You see that, Mina?!?! ‘Aneki'! What happened to the cute little brother who called me ‘onee-chama'?!”

“HE NEVER EXISTED YOU NUTCASE!” Raios snapped. “SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU FREAKING MENTAL?!” Raios scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Come on, Mina, we're gonna be late.”

Mina's heart all but leapt out of her chest when he grabbed her hand and dragged her away. She silently prayed he wouldn't notice he was still holding it until they reached the classroom.

Raios' sister stared after them, shaking her head.

“They need to just get married already…”

Raios ended up letting go halfway, but that was alright. The fact that he'd reached for Mina at all made her giddy. She almost felt a little bad for the turmoil her plan was about to inflict on him, but she told herself that it was all for the greater good. The two walked to school talking about trivial things like how Raios was doing with hunting sea birds and the oysters Mina had gone diving for the previous day. These were the times when she generally saw him the most relaxed. That perpetual furrow between his brows was practically nonexistent, and he'd even smile and laugh if she told her stories right. Arceus, that laugh was to die for. She actually resented the idea of arriving at school because it meant that their time alone together would end. As soon as another kid would greet them, Raios would go back to scowling. A part of Mina kinda hoped it was because he enjoyed their time alone as much as she did, but she knew that was wishful thinking.

Mina sighed as she settled into her desk and took a deep breath to prepare for what she was about to do.

She started putting her books away when she felt her hand brush the envelope, and it took everything in her being not to start grinning.

“Oh? What's this?” she inwardly cringed at how stiff her acting had sounded, but Raios hadn't seemed to notice.

“What's what?” he asked as she pulled the envelope out to ‘inspect it’.

“I dunno,” Mina replied, her voice sounding oddly monotone. She coughed to try and correct herself as Raios was clearly about to catch on now that he was paying attention. “It looks like a letter.” She flipped it over and pretended to inspect it, but Raios snatched it out of her hands. She nearly beamed. She hadn't expected it to go this well, but she fumbled a bit when she realized she should have gotten angry. “H-Hey! Th-That's mine!” Mina struggled to scrounge up even a fraction of Raios' usual angry façade. She commended herself for managing any at all considering how overjoyed she was. Raios looked the envelope over and scowled at it like it had personally burned down his house. And was he biting the inside of his lip? He probably knew what it was supposed to be.

“I can tell you right now that it's not anything worth your time,” he spat, but he still handed it back to her and sat down, clearly in one of the foulest moods she'd ever seen. Given his expression, she had fully expected him to tear it to pieces. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to respond if he had, but the fact that he didn't and even handed it back to her spoke to some level of maturity she hadn't expected from him. She looked back down at the envelope, more than a little shocked, and wondered, briefly, if maybe she had gone too far. She had wanted to make him jealous, but she hadn't wanted to hurt him, and he seemed like he may be genuinely upset. He did have other feelings besides anger. She was well aware of that. In fact, she probably knew that better than anyone else on the island. He just had a tendency to hide those feelings behind anger because it was the only way he knew how to express himself.

Mina opened the envelope, trying not to watch Raios out of the corner of her eye because she knew he’d be looking at her, and pretended to read it over. Turne out she didn't need to look at Raios to see how he was reacting. She could practically feel the rage emanating off him, and everyone else in the classroom was looking at him like he was a live bomb. Maybe this had been a really bad idea. After she'd stared at the letter for a sufficient amount of time, she tried to calmly fold it and put it away.

“So?” She looked over at the boy next to her who was now looking at her like he was about to chuck his desk out the window.

“I-It was a love letter...” She froze a bit at his reaction. She'd never seen him so genuinely angry in all her life.

“From who?” he ground out.

“A s-secret admirer. H-He wants to meet me by the docks in two days to talk.” Mina gulped.

“And?”

“A-And?” Mina quivered a bit, afraid of the monster she'd created. He was waaaaay more angry than she'd expected.

“What are you going to do?”

“I… I'm going to think about it… I don't know yet.”

Raios growled and turned away in a huff. She thought she heard him grumble something like ‘shouldn't it be obvious to turn him down?’ but wouldn't that normally be something he’d say pretty clearly? Right?

Raios was fidgety all throughout school. Who the hell had the gall to ask out Mina. It wasn't like she wasn't nice or pretty or smart. She was all of those things and more, so it wasn't unreasonable for someone to fall in love with her, but he didn't want to think that someone else could possibly see how valuable she was besides could possibly have the nerve to try and sweep her out from under him. It was a pretty well-known fact, at least in his opinion, that he loved Mina. The fact that there was now someone else he had to compete with only stirred up unwanted feelings of jealousy. He thought he'd had a bit more time to get himself together. He was really trying not to be so angry all the time, but that only ever seemed to be effective around Mina. No one wanted to date a guy who spent his whole life acting like he'd stepped on a Lego, so he'd been trying- really trying- to get his act together, but now he felt like he'd run out of time. It took every fiber of self-control not to go storming up to any of the other boys in class at every break and accost them of trying to court his Mina. Firstly because she wasn't actually his, and secondly because he definitely didn't want Mina to see how bad he was losing it. No, he waited until after school to let himself freak out.

“Raios,” Mina called, “let's walk home together!” She waved and smiled at him in a way that was so inviting he almost couldn't resist.

“Sorry, I've got something to do.” He immediately regretted saying that when a crestfallen look came over her. Hey, he was equally as disappointed, okay?! But finding out who his rival was was infinitely more important. “I'll see you tomorrow.” He refused to look back at her as he trotted of to his first destination because he knew he'd cave as soon as he looked at her.

Mina looked after him and melted to the ground.

“Hey, you knew this would happen,” Chise chided, looking down at her friend who looked like she wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

“I know… I know but-!” Mina sniffed as she picked herself up off the ground. “AHHHH! THE MOOD THIS MORNING WAS SO GOOD!! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!”

“You decided to trick your future-husband into asking you out in the most convoluted way possible,” Chise answered.

“I want to skip to being married so badly!!”

Mina reluctantly walked home with Chise and Yuri, looking like a wilted flower the entire way.

“Y'know, if we didn't know any better, we'd think you hate walking home with us,” Chise chided.

“Sorry,” Mina replied, sounding very depressed, “it's not that I don't love you two, I just really enjoy when I can spend time with him. He gets surprisingly talkative when he's talking about kyuudo, and it's so cute-"

“Okay, we definitely don't need to hear you gush about how cute you think our chief's son is. Seriously, Raios is the most abrasive person on the whole island. Maybe in the whole world! I seriously have no idea how you not only put up with him but are in love with him.”

“I’m so lucky you two don’t see how much of a catch he is…”

“He’s from the most important family on the island and is set to be the next chief as long as he doesn’t blow anything up or kill anyone. It’s not that he’s not a catch, it’s just that his attitude is terrible.”

“I can live with that.”

“How?!”

“Because he’s amazing!”

Chise and Yuri groaned and shook their heads, a hand covering their faces.

“Please, dear Arceus, let these two idiots get together soon…” Chise groaned.

“I can’t take much more of this,” Yuri followed.

#Redacted File

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rydiin · 4 years

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When it comes to the interrogation, what’s your opinion on (1) the way the detective interviewed him, the questions he asked (or didn’t ask), the way he was “too nice” according to NC? and (2) how do you analyze NCs behavior? At first he seemed very anxious and shy but then he got more and more comfortable and when he was alone he seemed completely callous and relaxed to the point he even fell asleep, which I think says a lot about how he feels about what he did. What’s your opinion?

Curcio’s overall approach to the interrogation has always rubbed me the wrong way. I think I’ve come to understand his approach more as I continue to study the case but I still wish his approach was different. If we were to talk about interrogations in black and white terms, there’s the detective/LE officer who tries to befriend the defendant and then there’s the one who tries to scare or intimidate them. The motive behind these are the same obviously, as they’re both trying to get as much information out of the defendant as possible..and this strategy is chosen by the interrogator based on the vibe they get from the defendant. They have a sense of what approach will work best.

For Curcio, he did a little bit of both. He started off friendly and showing some compassion, treating NC as a fellow human, speaking in a calm tone. But then as the time went on, Curcio obviously began to call BS on the things NC was saying and his attitude shifted. And this is where I started to disagree, because Curcio knew that the second NC asked for a lawyer, their time was up. From the vibes of their time spent together, it seems like common sense to NOT push NC for this reason.. but at the same time I understand why he continued to push more aggressively, because challenging what NC was saying could have led to him caving and revealing that he was “making it all up”, maybe that’s the result he was looking for. But instead he sent NC into a panic to the point where he wanted a psychologist and lawyer present. (And of course the State can argue about his physical and emotional reaction to the questioning, so maybe that’s points for them). He began to feel as though Curcio was no longer on his side as a support, and thus wanted someone else there to be on his side. It seems that NC is a fairly weak individual and obviously doesn’t have the confidence to stand firm on his own, he needs support.

I wish that Curcio had dug deeper and gotten more info out of NC. He obviously covered the basics, which is great. But I wish he was able to actually dig deep into NC’s desires and try to get a grip on more than just the surface level items. Maybe try to get a sense of a pattern of these desires that developed into actions, such as asking more about his experiences with HI before this event, not just actual plans. But i’m also keeping in mind that we don’t have the full interrogation, since the actual confession has been redacted. So I obviously cannot comment on Curcio in those moments.

And another thing i have to remember is that Curcio did what he was supposed to do..He questioned NC and got the confession. At the end of the day, his mission is accomplished so long as he did those things. I think I just come at it from much more of a psychological perspective and I personally wish that more detectives and officers had education and training in this area so that they could get to the root of things during interrogations rather than staying surface level. But again, they aren’t concerned with the root..they just want to know if he did it and the details of it. Which is why I think that NC’s sessions with a psychiatrist or some type of MHP are important in order for us to have a better grasp on who he is and why he did what he did. I realize that interrogations are not where I’m going to get many of my questions answered.

Last thing I’ll say about Curcio’s approach: I’m soo curious how NC would’ve responded to interrogators with the same approach as those who interrogated Dylann R**f 🤔Someone share your thoughts on this! I’ve always wished Curcio took this approach instead because I just feel like he could’ve gotten way more meaningful answers from NC this way.

In regard to how NC responded during this, I definitely feel the concern of how chill he got as time went on. When he first entered the room, he was clearly in severe distress and didn’t know how to process all of the emotions he was feeling. (I go back and forth with how genuine this distress was, due to physical indicators that he was possibly playing it up for the cameras, as mentioned in various LE reports. I’m not saying I’m taking their side, but he does seem to flip in and out of this distress in an unnatural manner..which makes it give off some disingenuous vibes.) Anyways, he was hitting himself and trying to release this energy through self-harm any way he could. But by the later hours of his time spent in the room, not only is he mellow and calm, but he’s even capable of falling asleep. I don’t want to say that this automatically proves that his attitude about what he had just done is certainly nonchalant, and shows a complete lack of care. I don’t think that conclusion would be fair because people process trauma in diverse ways- and yes this includes trauma that someone inflicts on others. I’m not sure if NC is prone to disassociation, but that’s definitely something that could affect his demeanor in the interrogation room. If he’s disassociating himself from what he just did, then he’s completely separated himself from reality and this includes escaping the intense emotions that he should be feeling. And if this were the case, his lax behavior actually makes sense. I could say a ton more on that, but I won’t bore you.

Then there’s the obvious possibility that he really just did not care about all the people he had hurt, and was able to sleep and eat fine even after knowing he had k*lled 17. And I think we have reason to believe that this very well could have been the case. I just don’t think it’s fair to completely judge what’s going on in his head when we really can’t know for sure unless he were to explain himself. I try to leave all possibilities open until we have some sort of certainty. (But I do lean toward this view).

Fun fact: after the interrogation video was released I made a note titled “Questions i wish curcio asked” . lol because I kept thinking to myself “ughh why didn’t he ask THIS” so i wrote them down. i went back to find it when i saw this ask but i couldn’t find it. I’ll share it if I do!

TLDR: Curcio did his job and got the answers he wanted, but I disagree with his approach and think he could’ve gotten much more out of it with a softer approach and more strategic questioning in regard to psychological aspects and history.

#asks

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365daysofsasuhina · 4 years

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[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Forty-One: A Cave ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Shisui, Hyūga Neji, Hyūga Hanabi ] [ SasuHina, death ] [ Verse: Then It All Went Wrong ] [ AO3 Link ]

They’ve been running for hours.

The fires of the Uchiha compound are long behind them, running atop the surface of the Naka northward. Sasuke still clings to his brother’s back, Hinata atop Shisui’s as Hanabi is slung to his chest. Neji, despite his youth, has little choice but to run.

It all still feels...unreal.

The only two among them truly privy to the goings-on are Itachi and Shisui, both aware of the Uchiha clan’s struggles against Konoha. Since the Kyūbi’s attack only a few months after Sasuke’s birth, the old prejudices against them - fanned by their prior leader - were flared once again. Surveillance was increased, their rights subtly squeezed and redacted...and when they protested, it only got worse.

Fugaku’s months of attempts of compromises were all in vain. No matter his offers, his pleads, he was ignored. So, he went to the only person he felt he had left to ask for aid:

Hyūga Hiashi, the clan head of the other dōjutsu line of Konoha, and a distant brother.

Of course, Hiashi had balked at first, not wanting to be dragged into such an affair. But Fugaku had leverage. Their common roots, and the need for a scapegoat meant that it just might be the Hyūga next once the Uchiha were...removed. All he wanted was support - an ally to help him appeal to Konoha...and stand with them should the village strike.

And strike it did.

The battle had broken out at both compounds with perfect synchronicity, cutting the allied clans off from one another as they each fought their own battles. They had expected as much...but only barely. Plans to send the heirs and their seconds - the siblings, and their first cousins - to safety had been one of the first plans Hiashi and Fugaku made, both wanting to ensure the survival of their children and blood.

But the addendum to have adults accompany them fell through. The Hyūgas’ handmaid had been killed while ushering them out, buying them time to escape to their meeting place by the Naka. And Shisui’s mother - Mikoto’s sister - made a similar sacrifice.

Now six children face the wilderness alone, unsure if they’re yet being pursued by the place they once called home: the eldest fifteen, and the youngest not even yet two.

But Shisui is a tokubetsu jōnin, and Itachi an ANBU officer. Between the two of them, they’re certain they can keep the younger ones safe...so long as they aren’t met with a force too numerous.

What they need now, however, is a place to hide, and to rest.

“Any ideas?” Itachi asks as they run, giving his cousin a glance.

“Not particularly...they probably figure we’re following the river. It’ll make tracking us by foot impossible, and by scent difficult. We can’t really stray from it for that reason...but if we’re going to stop, that means getting off the water...and leaving a trail.”

“Even if we take the trees…?”

“Our scents will linger better. But after being up all day and now running half the night with additional weight...you and I need to rest. And the kids, too.”

Itachi can’t help but feel a bit of irony at the separation between them and the ‘kids’.

He and Shisui can’t be kids anymore.

...they haven’t really been for quite some time.

“Aniki…” Sasuke murmurs. “I’m tired…”

“...I know,” he replies through grit teeth, trying to think of a solution. They’re still over a day’s trek from the place Fugaku marked on their map...they have to stop before they get there. Even if they were going on a full night’s sleep, it’d be pushing it.

“Hey, Itachi…”

“Yes?”

“How’s your geographical genjutsu?”

The younger cousin blinks. “...why do you ask?”

“There’s a cave, up ahead. Maybe we can cast an illusion to hide the opening.”

Following Shisui’s gaze, Itachi brightens. There’s just a hint of a crack in the cliff that lines the Naka to their right. “...I can handle that.”

“Good. Let’s see if it’s worth it…” Veering, Shisui approaches, a hand feeling the rock. A hint of flame is blown into a hand, chakra sustaining it over his palm and lighting the space within.

“...what do you see?”

“This should work. It’s a tight fit to get in, but there’s a chamber...eh, ten paces wide? Enough to rest, anyway. We’ll have to get cozy, but it should work.”

“Very well.”

They pack the four younger children in, all of them looking to the pair with fear and uncertainty in their eyes.

“...all right. You all stay here. Don’t make any noise if you can help it. I know the baby’s gonna be fussy, but just...try your best. We’ll go scout and see if we can find some food. And a way to get water,” Shisui offers, half thinking aloud.

The elder three all nod solemnly, Hinata doing her best to keep her baby sister quiet.

Once back outside, Shisui sighs. “...all right...I’ll head back south a little ways, start looking for any signs we’re being followed. You stay here, start working on supplies. We all need to eat and rehydrate...and sleep, if we’re able. If I see anything, I’ll send a crow. Be ready.”

“Of course.” With that, Itachi turns to the cave entrance. Dark eyes flare red, and the sight seems to blur and stretch...until it’s nothing but a solid wall.

“Perfect. You and I can see through it, of course...but I doubt anyone else can, unless they have a damn good sensor with them. Don’t stray far - I’ll come back in an hour if nothing shows up.”

Itachi just nods, watching his cousin flicker away. Mind forced into a mission state, he begins doing as ordered. A stick sharpened with a kunai manages to spear several fish, which he cooks quickly and without smoke with some katon. Water he brings into a canteen, using what he knows of suiton to filter out any bacteria or microbes. When a pause reveals no crows in the sky, he retreats into the cave.

To his surprise, the four are closely huddled together. Neji seems to lean against Hinata protectively, Byakugan active as he too scouts for danger in his own way. He stares at Itachi, unblinking. Sasuke is on Hinata’s other side, looking a bit less familiar, but close nonetheless.

“Here...eat these,” Itachi offers, handing them the skewered fish. “Be mindful of bones.”

“W-what about Hanabi?” Hinata questions quietly.

“I’ll mash some, see if we can get her to eat it...do you know her diet?”

The elder sister shakes her head. “N...no.”

“That’s all right.” By now, he’s also forgotten what Sasuke could and would eat at that age. They’ll just have to make due. Eating his own catch, he then uses his hands to carefully debone and soften a few pieces of fish. “Here...best you try. She might fuss with a stranger.”

Hinata nods, accepting the food and trying to get her sister to eat. “Hanabi...please…”

Jaw clenched with a whine, the girl makes to refuse. “Nn!”

“Try miming eating it first. She might want to mimic you.” He remembers his mother doing something similar.

Listening, Hinata then tries again. “Mm,” she hums, mocking eating. “This is r-really good!”

Hanabi’s expression wavers, then shifts to a pout. “Ah, ah…!” Little hands reach, and Hinata offers it again. This time she takes some into her mouth, moving it around and managing to swallow some.

They all sigh in relief. “Here...some water, too,” he offers, watching them pass the canteen around.

“Aniki, where are we going…?” Sasuke then asks.

“...I don’t know. Someplace our father thought suitable. North, in the mountains.”

“An Uchiha outpost…?”

“It’s possible…?” Itachi knows most of their clan’s history, and he doesn’t remember such a fort. But maybe he missed something.

“Coming in!”

Glancing up, Itachi watches as Shisui fades through the illusion. “Anything?”

“Not yet...but best we take turns guarding.”

“Agreed.” He hands Shisui some food, which the elder gratefully accepts.

“How are things here?”

“We got the baby to eat a bit. The rest of us are doing the same.”

“Good...you mind taking first watch?”

“Not at all. I’m not too tired.” His body is weary, but his mind still sharp.

“Thanks...packing two kiddos is a bit much, honestly. Especially at that pace.”

“I agree. Don’t worry - I’ll keep watch.”

Once all the food is gone, water drank, and those needing it relieved outside, they arrange themselves for the remainder of the night. Shisui props himself next to Sasuke, still beside Hinata with Neji on her other flank.

“How you holding up, Sasuke?”

He doesn’t really reply.

In truth, Shisui hardly expects him to be well. Their entire clan is likely dead by now, or if any survived, scattered to the four winds...as the Hyūga will also be. It’s not easy...and it’s only his current object that keeps him grounded. “...it’s gonna be all right. We’re still alive. I know it isn’t easy...it hurts. But the important thing is now that we keep moving. We can’t let what our parents gave up for us be for nothing...okay?”

Tearing up a bit, Sasuke manages a nod, looking up to his brother. Itachi stares through the illusion with his Sharingan, a kunai kept gripped in one hand.

“...are they dead, Shisui?”

“...I don’t know for sure, Sasuke. Maybe some got out. We might never know, but...we can hope. For now...we have our mission your father gave us. And all good shinobi follow the mission, right?”

“...right.”

“...we’ll be okay. Maybe not today, or tomorrow...but we will. All of us. For now...we rely on each other. Keep each other safe. Got it?”

All three conscious kids nod, Hanabi thankfully asleep.

“T...thank you, Shisui-san,” Hinata murmurs.

“No need for honorifics, Hinata-chan. We’re all in this together. We’re all equal and familiar now, right?”

“...right…”

Smiling wearily, Shisui then sighs, doing his best to settle down and get some rest.

Watching him for a moment, Sasuke then glances to his other neighbor. “...Hinata-chan…?”

“Yeah?”

“...I’m scared.”

“Me...me too. But...Neji-nīsan, and Shisui-san, a-and Itachi-san will protect us. Right?”

“...yeah…”

Seeing him look unsure, Hinata wriggles one hand free from her sister, offering it palm-up.

After a pause, Sasuke gently takes it with one of his own.

“...w-we aren’t alone, Sasuke-kun. At least...a-at least we have each other, ne?”

“...yeah.”

.oOo.

(This is a sequel to day 99!) ...I think this is the longest gap between updates so far xD Over 200 days since the first 'part' of this was published, holy smokes! And I still ADORE this concept. This is...a little rushed, what with it being a daily (and me being sick and a holiday tomorrow, woo). But I like the overall idea a lot, and I think it's one I'll revamp / continue after the challenge (and my break lol). I just...really love these kiddos, and this AU! They're arguably all among my top ten characters, so getting to write them all together is neat, and the setting and plot is one I'm really liking. So here's hoping making it a fuller fic will work! I have a few ideas already, ahaha~ BUT for now...it's very late, I'm very tired, and tomorrow will be a VERY long day. So I'll call it here. Thanks for reading!

#sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #uchiha itachi #uchiha shisui #hyūga neji #hyūga hanabi #death //#then it all went wrong [ canon verse ]#365daysofsasuhina

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snommelp · 4 years

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A City on a Hill

Sermon for today, the fifth Sunday after Epiphany, meditating on Isaiah 58:1-12 and Matthew 5:13-20. Minor redactions to remove names.

Isaiah 58:1-12

Shout out, do not hold back! Lift up your voice like a trumpet! Announce to my people their rebellion, to the house of Jacob their sins. Yet day after day they seek me and delight to know my ways, as if they were a nation that practised righteousness and did not forsake the ordinance of their God; they ask of me righteous judgements, they delight to draw near to God. ‘Why do we fast, but you do not see? Why humble ourselves, but you do not notice?’

Look, you serve your own interest on your fast-day, and oppress all your workers. Look, you fast only to quarrel and to fight and to strike with a wicked fist. Such fasting as you do today will not make your voice heard on high. Is such the fast that I choose, a day to humble oneself? Is it to bow down the head like a bulrush, and to lie in sackcloth and ashes? Will you call this a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord?

Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of injustice, to undo the thongs of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke?

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover them, and not to hide yourself from your own kin? Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up quickly; your vindicator shall go before you, the glory of the Lord shall be your rearguard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry for help, and he will say, Here I am.

If you remove the yoke from among you, the pointing of the finger, the speaking of evil, if you offer your food to the hungry and satisfy the needs of the afflicted, then your light shall rise in the darkness and your gloom be like the noonday. The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your needs in parched places, and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters never fail. Your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to live in.

Matthew 5:13-20

‘You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot.

‘You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

‘Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfil. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

[[PRAY]]

Great crowds have been following Jesus. They’ve heard about this miracle man, who’s been wandering all through the region of Galilee teaching and preaching and healing all sorts of disease and illness. People have come from Galilee, the Decapolis, Jerusalem, Judea, even from beyond the Jordan. They all want to see this man, to hear his teaching, to figure out what he’s all about. One day, on top of a mountain, he sits down to teach. I can imagine being in that crowd, the eager anticipation, waiting to find out what profound teaching he’s going to offer.

He sits to teach, and says to the crowd: “You are salt.”

Um… thanks? I guess? What’s the proper response to that? “Thanks, I think you’re nutmeg”?

“You are the salt of the earth.”

What does it mean to be salt? Well, let me tell you all about one of my earlier adventures in cooking. I decided that I was going to try to cook up a simple chicken and rice dish, and I was going to improvise the whole thing. Now I might have been a novice in the kitchen, but you don’t have to know how to cook to know that chicken doesn’t have a very strong flavor of its own and neither does rice. So I decided to cook it with a little bit of a Mexican seasoning that I had lying around. When it was all done I sat down to eat, and it was bland. I couldn’t understand it. I wondered if maybe I’d just forgotten to use the seasoning, but I could feel the spiciness on my tongue, so that couldn’t be it.

Then I realized I hadn’t added any salt. So I went into the kitchen and shook in just a tiny bit of salt and stirred it up. The very next bite exploded with flavor.

Because that’s what salt does. That’s what salt is for. When you put salt in your food it draws out all the other flavors that you wouldn’t have noticed before. Of course salt also has a flavor all its own, and if you use too much salt that’s all you’re going to taste, but when you use salt right it enhances your food and makes it that much tastier.

What does it mean to be the salt of the earth? It means letting the flavor of your discipleship enhance the world all around you. It means that when you follow the Great Commandment to love God and love your neighbor, it draws out goodness and love everywhere you go, and in that way you help to bring the Kingdom of God.

“You are the light of the world.”

Okay, this one seems a bit easier. On an intuitive level, we understand that light is good. But still, we don’t necessarily take the time to think about what’s good about it. What does it mean to be light?

Jesus tells us: when you light a lamp, you put it on a lampstand, and it gives light to the whole house. I borrowed this lamp from our district superintendent -- I’ll confess when Jesus said “lamp” I was imagining something more like the lamp from Aladdin, but to be perfectly honest this clay lamp is probably closer to what Jesus would have used. This small lamp can give light to a whole house. You don’t need a big bonfire, a small light can dispel the darkness.

I went to college out in Flagstaff, Arizona. If you don’t know a lot about Flagstaff, the first thing to know is that it’s in the Arizona hill country. The city is at a base elevation of 7000 feet, and then there are mountains. And actually, the mountains in Flagstaff are the remnants of a long-dead volcano. Several times in college, I went with one group or another out to one of the national parks, and after a short hike we would come to a hole in the ground. This hole was caused by a cave-in, and climbing down into the hole brought you into a lava tube, a tunnel which was carved tens of thousands of years ago by the lava of that volcano.

Twenty yards into the cave, all natural light was gone. The cave was probably 300, 400 yards long, before you got to another cave-in that even the smallest person couldn’t crawl past. And the tradition was, when you reached the end of the lava tube, everyone in your group would sit down together in a circle. And shut off all of their flashlights. There, beyond the reach of the sun, the darkness was so complete that you could feel it. It was suffocating. Then, someone would pull out a little lamp like this one, or a small candle, and light it. That small light filled the cave, drove the darkness away.

What does it mean to be light? Light doesn’t exist for its own sake. It shines so that others can see. It shines to bring others out of the darkness. A lighthouse shines to guide travelers on a dark and frightening ocean. A city on a hill shines its light out to the surrounding countryside, guiding and welcoming lost and weary travelers. So what does it mean to be the light of the world? It means living a life that constantly shines the light of the love of Christ, dispelling darkness and welcoming the lost and the lonely into the Kingdom of God. Even if you see someone else and think that they’re a big bonfire while you’re just a small oil lamp, let your light shine, for the glory of God.

You are the salt of the earth. You are the light of the world. You are a city on a hill. Salt and light, which exist for the sake of others. And as I was meditating on Jesus’ message here in Matthew, it struck me just how much it echoes the message of the prophet Isaiah from so long before him.

When the Lord spoke through the prophet Isaiah, the people had a problem. Two problems, really, but they were two related problems. First, the people were treating God like some kind of divine vending machine. Put prayer in, push the buttons to make your selection, get out your desired result. And in fairness to the people of Israel, that’s how all of their neighbors did it, how the Canaanites and the Assyrians and the Babylonians and the Akkadians all interacted with their gods. Make the right sacrifice, say the right words, do the right hand gesture, and the gods will make it rain on your fields. Do a different sacrifice, say different words, different hand gesture, and the gods will smite your enemies.

It’s how all the neighboring nations did it. But when God led the people out of Egypt, God told them not to be like the neighboring nations.

Second, the people were selfish. Even on the sabbath and the holy days, they served their own interests. They oppressed their workers. They quarreled, fought, struck on another with wicked fists. They would even hide themselves from their own family members just so that they wouldn’t have to be inconvenienced by helping someone.

And God spoke to the prophet Isaiah, and through Isaiah said to the people “you wicked and rebellious people! What do you think you’re doing? Do you really think that you can force me to do your will, with these empty gestures and this self-serving piety? Look at yourselves! Do you really think that this is what I want?”

“I’ll tell you what I want. I want you to loose the bonds of injustice! I want you to let the oppressed go free! Share your bread with the hungry! Clothe the naked! House the homeless, yes even in your own homes! This is what the Lord requires of you: to do justice, to love mercy, to walk in humility! Do this, and when you call I will answer you. Do this, and I will satisfy your need. But do this. Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream. This is the fast that I desire. Thus says the Lord.”

That phrase has been stuck spinning around in my head for years now. This is the fast that I choose. In just two and a half weeks, we’ll be starting Lent - Ash Wednesday is on February 26. Since at least the fourth century, Christians have been preparing for Easter with this extended season of reflection and repentance, prayer and fasting. Some people will give up chocolate or soda. Others will skip entire meals, or might not eat any meat from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday.

But it occurred to me that all too often, my approach to Lent is far too similar to the problems that the people of Israel were experiencing. As a child, I would give up chocolate for Lent, and I would focus on how annoying it was, and think about how God was in my debt because of all the chocolate I could be eating. But what is the fast that God chooses? Justice, mercy, compassion; food for the hungry, clothing for the naked.

And so this year my fast is going to be a little different, and I’m inviting you to join me. I am going to monetize my fast, in a sense. I haven’t decided what I’m giving up yet, but let’s use soda as my example. I have a soda with my lunch every day. During Lent, when I don’t have that soda, I will also be setting aside the money I would have spent on that soda. That dollar 75 is gone, as if I spent it. And on Easter Sunday, as we celebrate the risen Christ, we’re going to have a special collection in addition to our usual offering, where we take up the fast that we set aside, and we’re going to give it all to [redacted] here in [redacted].

Your fast might be small, or it might be big. But even a small oil lamp can light up an entire house. Even just a pinch of salt can draw out an explosion of flavors in a meal.

As you leave this place and go out wherever God may lead you, go out to be salt. Be light. Be a city on a hill. Shine the love of Christ everywhere you go, to show the way to the lost and weary travelers.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

#sermon

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ghostmartyr · 5 years

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Pokémon FireRed Nuzlocke [Part 7]

Finally free from the horror that is Koga and Silph Co., it’s time for the no-grinding Nuzlocke to reach for another plateau. Or something.

I need Surf.

There are a few things that I’m unsure of about this place. The most obvious is I’m not sure if the different areas count as different... areas. I know that some spots have different pokemon than others, and theoretically it would be reasonable to catch the first thing out of each section, but I don’t follow that logic with caves.

Then, if I’m not going to catch a thing per area, what’s the best place to wander through the grass? Is there even anything high enough level for me to care?

To Google.

Ugh. You know, the freedom to make your own rules often feels more like a trap.

So given that the only reason to catch things would be to convenience my way into maybe having a prayer at the Exp. Share, I’m gonna go with the first encounter for the entire Zone being the one and only. Whatever it is, I’m probably not going to use it, and so just stacking my pokedex to make my life easier feels like it really goes against the spirit of this particular Nuzlocke.

That’s mostly going to involve trying to step in as little grass as possible, probably. Otherwise I’ll just make myself sad.

Well, so much for that.

Paras, your name is Winner, and we will not meet again.

This place is so stressful. “Figure out where you’re going and get there in 600 steps. Find pokemon you want that will regularly run away from you!”

Yay.

Sprinkle learns Surf. Life is marginally better. But now we have to find the old man’s teeth. I think I know where they are, which is mildly disturbing given how long ago I played these games, but the sooner I can find them, the happier I’ll be.

Oh. Found them. Snap.

600/600 steps later, and I have to contemplate if there’s anything worth spending 500 more pokedollars on to grab. ...You know what. I really don’t care enough. Partly because Serebii’s page for this seems slightly broken, but that counts as a reason to me.

Also I want to fool around in the ocean.

See? This guy. He gets me. Swimmer Tony understands. He has a level 30 Horsea. Then another.

Swimmer David, what have you got for us? A level 29 Goldeen. ...Oh, whoops, I forgot to give the old man his teeth back before I did this. Uh. Allenby, mop up so we can go back and deal with it. Shellder next. Seaking.

Done, and okay, going to give the old man his teeth back. For great Strength.

Mission complete, back to the ocean.

Where it’s time to catch a thing.

With the power of Zaft and Sonicboom, I believe.

Yay, Tentacool get. Uh. Flaga.

Back to battling.

Swimmer Matthew has a level 30 Poliwag. Then a Poliwhirl. Sprinkle is finally level 30, and Zaft is staring at me in sad judgment at all the exp that was promised.

Sis and Bro Lia & Luc want to battle. Yay. They have a level 30 Goldeen and Seaking. They are swiftly defeated because Zaft is good.

Swimmers are kind of weird in these games. They just go tread water out in the middle of the ocean, then stop and have some battles with a kid resting on a pokemon.

Swimmer Axle has a level 27 Tentacool. Sprinkle beats it up all by herself. I’m so proud. Another Tentacool. More pride. Tentacruel. And all of the successful confusion statuses come back to bite. Horsea brings us back to simpler times. Sprinkle learns Ice Beam. And last up is Staryu.

On to Swimmer Connie. She has a level 29 Staryu. Then another. Then another. Riveting.

Swimmer Alice is next! With a level 30 Goldeen! Allenby can help here. Seaking, similarly.

Last of this bunch is Swimmer Anya. Level 27 Poliwag. Goldeen. Seaking. Goldeen. ...My Lapras that I need for reasons of Special Attack is going to have better Attack than I ever needed. One last Poliwag for good measure.

Sprinkle makes it to level 32. Sigh.

The Team.

..Sprinkle’s name is the odd one out because when I got her it was an hour where things like naming themes just were not under any consideration.

Ocean.

Different ocean.

Swimmer Barry is taking some time off from being the Flash. He has a level 31 Shellder. Then Cloyster. I believe in you, Zaft. And my belief is rewarded.

Swimmer Darrin is next up. Cue level 28 Horsea. And another. Seadra. ...The Seadra poisons Zaft. Darrin, that costs me an Antidote. Come on. One last Horsea, and Sprinkle is level 33!

On we go, and Swimmer Shirley wants to battle. And thanks to the Code Geass movie, any use of the name Shirley is going to make me giggle for a while. She starts with a level 30 Seadra. Then a Horsea. I’m not sure I understand the order Swimmers put things in. Another Seadra coming up.

Yatta.

Swimmer Tiffany only has one pokemon. It is a level 35 Seaking. Allenby can assist here.

Yay, that’s done, and we hit a Seafoam Island. It looks like Route 20 only has Tentacool available for Surfing, so I’m going to use a Good Rod and see what we end up with.

Horsea. We already caught that.

Krabby! Welcome. I won’t be using you. Your name is Tarle.

That’s 35. Out of the 50 needed for the Exp. Share.

Sigh.

Oh look, another cave.

We find a Psyduck in it.

Uh. Hell, I don’t know. Tieria.

I can’t remember if this place has any Trainers in it. If it doesn’t, I’m sort of wasting my time here, and should just loop around and sail through the ocean via Pallet. Help me, Serebii, you’re one of about a dozen hopes.

Yeah, no Trainers. So my focus should just be on a way out.

Found a way out, going back to Fuchsia, and oh. I missed someone.

Swimmer Douglas, sorry for the oversight. You have a level 27 Horsea. Tentacool. Another Tentacool. Goldeen.

I hate switch training so much. It makes the whole game come to a screech. Not a halt, just a screech as it continues to move but requires small adjustments constantly.

Anyway, can Pidgey learn Fly? I don’t really want to commit to Heero having it just yet. It might be inevitable, but I would like to wait it out a little longer.

Ha, Pidgey can learn Fly. Ren, you’re of use! Quatre, you are being temporarily replaced.

To Pallet!

To Route 21. Let’s see what we get.

Tangela!

...Maybe. It doesn’t seem to like us much. Three Ultra Balls gone. Also known as all of the ones I had.

Is this thing really going to make me use a Master Ball on it.

HA! Last Great Ball gets it. Your name is Relena now.

I need to go buy more Great Balls now. For those pokemon I so desperately want and need.

Hm. Speaking of spending money on stuff, it looks like I have enough to bother with helping Sprinkle out a bit on the stats I’m looking for. Let’s go get us some vitamins.

-many many pokedollars later...-

And while we’re here, let’s rob the entire vending machine.

Oki doki.

What do you mean I can’t use Fly on the roof?

Oh, I just thought of something. I don’t think I’ve visited the Power Plant yet. I choose to deal with that before exploring the ocean more.

A Trainer! Happy day.

Oh hai Mark.

Mark has a level 29 Rhyhorn.

Sprinkle has Surf.

Next up is Lickitung. Allenby can share that one.

Sprinkle makes it to 34!

Are there Trainers in here, or just pokemon? ...Serebii?

No Trainers. Quick trip, I guess. What do we get?

Something that isn’t a Voltorb. Yes, really game. I know it’s confusing, but I already had one, and it’s still doing fantastic work for me.

Magnemite.

Caught! You are now Erde.

Now we got to Pallet and ocean. And the land of Fishermen. Fishermen like Wade. With his six Magikarp.

I love these games.

There is much that also inspires hate.

Fisherman Ronald, are you going to make me hate you? The level 28 Seaking says no. Goldeen keeps up the dream. Seaking. One last Seaking. For reasons of me being. ridiculous, honestly, Sprinkle only gets exp from the first while Po cleans up. I just can’t make myself keep wasting EVs on Attack for her.

Why does this Trainer class use two types of And. It doesn’t matter, and yet it annoys me.

They have a level 33 Seadra and Starmie. Nice.

Except for the part that every Seadra seems to have Poison Point and a passion for making me suffer. Zaft’s at 40 now, though. Hooray!

Swimmer Spencer brings out yet another Seadra. Level 33. I approve. Tentacruel is similarly helpful. I think I like this side of the ocean better.

Fisherman Claude has a level 31 Shellder. Oooh, and Cloyster. Allenby can help out with that. And Sprinkle makes it to 35. Thanks, Claude.

Fisherman Nolan goes back to Seaking at level 33. Then there’s the Goldeen.

Swimmer Jack only has one pokemon, and it’s a... ... ... level 37 Starmie.

I definitely prefer this side of the ocean.

Swimmer Roland has a level 32 Poliwhirl. And a Tentacool. And a Seadra. Which basically just translates to using up another Antidote.

Swimmer Jerome has a level 33 Staryu. As well as a Wartortle.

Heeeey, we made it. Time to turn in our Dome Fossil for Cinnnabar’s creature of choice.

Though in the meantime, we do have other choices.

Caught! Uhh. Milli. Swell.

And now to wander the Mansion in deep confusion as I continue to run into Trainers that will hopefully level me in a suitably speedy fashion.

First up, Youngster Johnson! He has a level 33 Ekans because this game cares not for my wants. Then there’s another one, and I just feed it to Allenby. And I’m not going to bother switching back for the Raticate.

...I put on a Repel. So I keep running into level 36 Raticate. Pain.

Bandit Arnie has a level 34 Charmander. Followed by a Charmeleon.

Sprinkle needs multiple turns to run away from all the Raticate that show up in these parts. I am going slowly mad. I am going fastly angry. I thought the worst part about no grinding was going to be the increased difficulty. But no. It’s the difficulty in running away from everything when the first thing in your party doesn’t have the most wonderful Speed.

I don’t want to end up putting Zaft in front and switching in Sprinkle every time I see a Trainer. I feel like that might have to happen if this keeps up.

Yep. One necessary Hyper Potion later, Zaft goes in front.

This is the closest I will know peace in this entire Mansion.

He has a level 38 Ninetales.

Redact that previous statement.

Sprinkle, stop hitting yourself. Please.

Thank you.

I hate this place so much.

Scientist Braydon, why is your name, and what have you got for me? A level 33 Magnemite. Voltorb. Magneton. Geez. The worst threat of this place is I hate walking through it so much I haven’t been to the Pokemon Center since starting. A crit anywhere would have killed Heero. Not good.

Scientist Ted is next. With a level 29 Electrode. Po goes in for fear of Selfdestruct. And stays in for the Weezing.

....Aaaaaand I failed the maze, so I’m outside, so I guess I’ll go to the Pokemon Center!

...

I hit something on my keyboard.

The window closed.

All of my hate.

But thanks to being paranoid about such things, loading the last save just puts us in the middle of fighting Braydon right before he sends his Voltorb out. And somehow the Magneton goes better despite me doing the exact same thing and Heero being confused.

Hey, guess what. This time the Electrode uses Selfdestruct. Po’s fine. And I get to be right about things. Yay.

Back to where we were, except without going outside by accident.

Save me from myself, Lewis. You and your level 34 Growlithe are my only hope in this desolate building. The Ponyta has its inspiring features too.

Back to walking around. And reading forbidden Mewtwo lore that I might care about in a different mood. For someone not familiar with the story, it’s actually really cool. For me right now, go away, stop giving me extra things to click A at.

YOU SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO GET YOUR EXCLAMATION POINT OF NOTICING ME BEFORE THE SCREEN EVEN ALLOWS ME TO SEE YOU.

FUCK YOU, SCIENTIST IVAN. YOU ARE THE REASON EVERYTHING IS WRONG. YOU AND YOUR LEVEL 34 MAGNEMITE. AS WELL AS YOUR ELECTRODE.

In other news, Zaft is finally saying farewell to Charge. The time of the Light Screen is upon us. I liked Zaft having a move that upped Special Defense and the damage of Spark, but the damage-upping is unreliable, and Light Screen can help the whole team.

Finally.

I have Escape Ropes. Peace out.

I guess now we’re at the point where we really have to fight a Gym Leader. Sabrina or Blaine. Only that’s not much of a choice. Sprinkle is too inexperienced for me to want her to nom all the Growlithe. For what I’m trying to do with her moveset, I want Sabrina to be trained against first.

In case my clear avoidance didn’t make it obvious.

I do not want to fight Sabrina. I can’t remember why the caution is buried so deep, and yet. The fear.

We remember how fun teleporttion is, right? Yeah? ...No?

Let’s get this over with.

Psychic Cameron is our first contestant. With a level 33 Slowpoke.

Huh. tfw things go better than expected. Another Slowpoke, and then a Slowbro that Zaft can help out with.

Psychic Tyron is next, which is not going to help future me a little because I draw the line at establishing which teleport I use each time. No. I have had enough with the teleporting.

Anyway, he has a level 34 Mr. Mime. Followed by a Kadabra.

Sprinkle murders all.

Psychic Johan. Starting with a level 31 Kadabra. You mock me, sir. Mr. Mime next. Oh damn it, Psybeam caused confusion. Why. Mr. Mime also knows Magical Leaf. Why. Slowpoke’s next, and I think Zaft is going to help just because of the awkwardness of the damn mime. Kadabra again. Same thing, just for the heck of it. Yay. Win.

That is what I’m here for. Channeler Tasha. She has a level 33 Gastly. Followed by another. Wrapping up with a Haunter.

Psychic Preston of the unfortunate name has a level 38 Slowbro. Oh snap. Zaft, whaddya think? Electricity? yes, good.

Channeler Amanda has a level 34 Gastly. Also a Haunter. Not anymore.

Channeler Stacy only has one. Ominous. It is a level 38 Haunter.

That’s it, right? Seven done in a box of nine, one’s the entrance and one’s Sabrina?

I guess that means it’s time to fight Sabrina.

That is not something I really want to do. Even now. But let’s. Get it done. I guess.

OG sprite best sprite.

Out first is a level 38 Kadabra.

Reasons to not want this fight near me.

I think I’m going to let Po have the Mr. Mime. To possibly eat the Future Sight the Kadabra got off, and also just. I don’t know. There’s no basis to the comfort Po handling the Mr. Mime brings. Mr. Mime is level 37. That helps me feel even more better.

Why does Psybeam confuse everything it touches in this run.

And then Sabrina Baton Passes her level 38 Venomoth in. Okay, fine. And with the Mr. Mime mostly dead, Sprinkle can handle it safely now.

Final pokemon! ... ... ... Level 43 Alakazam!

Perish Song is my new best friend and also I do not like this. It uses Future Sight, so I want Po to come back in, but I’m probably also going to want a potion for her. She’s eaten a lot of damage for me.

Future Sight failed for... some reason someone who actually reads the conditions for these things could probably tell me. Good. After the hit of a Calm Minded Psychic, that might have actually killed Po.

Sprinkle, you’re a good egg.

So that’s done with, and I have ominous feelings about what awaits us in Blaine’s Gym. Let’s maybe continue to put that off by visiting more Trainers in the ocean. At this point, though... I think we’re probably reaching the most difficult part of the run. Maybe because I added Sprinkle to the lineup, but the decision there already happened, so no point whining about having a Water pokemon.

Yeah, I left a Fossil there and it’s too inconvenient to pick up. Swimmer Melissa with the level 31 Poliwag. Allenby gets the Seaking.

Picnicker Missy is on an island. She has a level 31 Goldeen. Seaking for Allenby again.

Swimmer Dean only has one pokemon, and it’s a level 35 Staryu. We can let Zaft help. Zaft’s going to miss a lot of the coming action.

Swimmer Nora has a level 30 Shellder. Then another. Then a Cloyster.

Another island, and we have a Bird Keeper by the name of Roger. He has a level 30 Fearow. Sprinkle has an Ice Beam. Po gets the next Fearow. Zaft can have the Pidgeotto.

Well. Here we go. Our last available Trainer before Blaine’s Gym.

Cue the dramatic music.

Picnicker Irene has a level 30 Tentacool. Then a Horsea. Then a Seel.

That’s sort of it, isn’t it? We have Blaine and. Yeah.

I’m trying to think out the available stuff, and unless I’m missing something, there’s nothing for me to do after Blaine except Giovanni. Then there’s the Elite Four. Victory Road might cut me some slack, but we’re largely out of trainers. I think because these are the gen three remakes, there’s some stuff after Blaine, but I can’t remember if that’s actually after Blaine, or after the whole game. With Bill and Cinnabar and. stuff.

I haven’t checked the leveling, but isn’t one of Lance’s Dragonites in the 60s?

I guess we really are hitting the difficult part of this run.

For now, Gym.

Let’s do this, (ex)Burglar Quinn.

A level 36 Growlithe is up first. Right, I was going to switch between Sprinkle and Allenby for this. Since Allenby still has Rock Slide. Vulpix comes next. Followed by Ninetales.

Yay, we did it. Next room.

Super Nerd Erik has a level 36 Vulpix, Vulpix, and Ninetales. I’ll spare you the details, but Sprinkle was involved.

Super Nerd Avery shares the room and starts with a level 34 Ponyta! I can’t remember if we’ve seen one of those yet. I love Ponyta. Charmander, Vulpix, and Growlithe round out his team, and we’re off to the next room with no problems.

Burglar Ramon doesn’t tell us he’s stopped stealing stuff, so we can safely assume that Blaine just lets whoever likes Fire pokemon into his Gym. Morality comes last in concerns.

Anyway, Ramon has one level 41 Ponyta. It’s gone now.

....

Okay, so I remembered Blaine liked quizzes, and was thinking how odd it was that they didn’t include that in this version. Because I was just going around battling the Trainers. Then I got curious and actually clicked on the machine that each room has had.

Oh, look, quizzes.

Let’s fight Super Nerd Derek anyway. He has a level 41 Rapidash.

Sprinkle’s killing everything, if you couldn’t tell.

Burglar Dusty has two pokemon. A level 37 Vulpix and a Growlithe.

That does not make you sound smarter, Super Nerd Zac. Even your level 37 Growlithe is disappointed. Vulpix is next and meets the same fate.

The time has come.

Final room.

Penultimate Gym Leader.

Blaine.

I believe in you, Sgt. Sprinkle.

A level 42 Growlithe is out first. That feels like overkill. Nothing compared to what Sprinkle does to it, but still. Level 40 Ponyta shows up next, and outside of Sprinkle eating a Fire Blast, same result.

The level 42 Rapidash comes out to play. Its Fire Blast does a little more damage, and burns Sprinkle (unforgivable), but it still only survives one Surf.

Arcanine is last, and Allenby is going to deal with it. Sprinkle’s too hurt, and Pokemon Go has taught me that Arcanine sometimes knows horrible Electric moves. Staying away from all of that and giving Allenby something to do sounds like a better move for everyone.

Holy shit, this thing’s level 47??

Uhhh. I foresee maybe letting this be Po’s problem. Allenby can get a hit in, but I doubt a non-STAB Rock Slide from something that’s had its Attack lowered by Intimidate is going to kill in one hit. The things the Arcanine might do, on the other hand....

Allenby gets a crit.

Because she loves us and life and being alive.

So that’s that! Seventh badge get!

No, it’s gen five where you can’t leave a Gym in peace. Go away, Bill, Sprinkle needs heals.

Bill just waits for us to leave the Gym so he can ask us to hang out with him on a private island. We’re ten, Bill.

Why are they named the way they are.

Bill throws a Meteorite at us to go deliver to another one of his friends on Two Island. This isn’t a private island getaway, this is Bill recruiting an unattended ten-year-old for free labor.

I’m not big on this section of plot, but given that Blaine had a level 47 Arcanine, I can’t just go around skipping things at places that might have Trainers. So.

Bill Gaiden. Start.

#Pokemon #Nuzlocke Challenge #Nuzlocke #playthrough

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natural-and-just · 3 years

Text

I just now wrote another post about Dex in Blue by Amy Lane, a book which I've read several times. I said something shitty and couldn't make myself make the post public. This blog is supposed to be my journal and all, but sometimes, if I want this to actually be therapeutic like it's supposed to, I need to let myself be horrid on paper/the screen without feeling endangered in any way. I can still feel that helpful urge to explain things properly if I save the decision to post privately after I've actually written the damn post, or when I've come to a tipping point in writing it and I just have to give in and be a cunt in private for the sake of feeling clean again.

I love the book by the way. I just have a couple hang ups. Anyway.

I know that I'm supposed to want to imagine good things. Pleasant things. Pretty things. Fuzzy and warm things. I know this. But I'd rather imagine being owned instead. It's not like my fantasies are particularly rabid (or at least the majority aren't). It's just that ever since that one recording of Abraham Hicks, where she (very gently) told the lady off for wanted to feel "bonding" with her partner, I can't let myself indulge in those... I want to say "darker" fantasies, but they're hardly dark. They're just... I mean, when she--Abraham--took issue with the way the lady worded her desires, I felt like what she was really saying was, These more base, primal desires you are experiencing are not in fact cosmically preferable desires in terms of their worthiness to be desires in the first place. If that makes sense. Basically, I interpreted her speech as saying, You should be hoping for loftier, more wholesome things--which I understand doesn't make strict sense, given that Abraham isn't about telling someone they shouldn't want, for example, hot sex. But, for me, sex can't be hot if there aren't certain primal, base (I'm tempted to say debased) principles underlying the act. Ownership. God, when I first read--every time I read--Greg and Fiona's first book, I feel understood. That scene where they meet in the hallway, and talk about ownership. I get so hot, and it's a mixture of regular old arousal but also a longing that... well, it's actually fairly...innocent? Whatever its objective qualities, it's deeply rooted. Maybe after having lived more years on this earth I'll have matured out of it, like I've already matured out of some of my old wishes for romantic relationships thanks to [redacted]. But for right now, it's an honest to god yearning, just pure and simple.

And besides it's not like I have I have a lot of choice. I can't exorcize this want. I don't necessarily want to, except that I imagine Abraham wouldn't approve because of its earthly, material nature. But it's the unspiritual about it that makes it so captivating to me. I'm interested. There is no interest in a fantasy without some element of suspence. They are like snapshots of story midway through, in that sense.

Abraham (just... keep in mind, these interpretations are all filtered through my own steadfast self-doubt and self-denial) keeps making me think I should only want the unambiguously good, that I should only want to resolution to the story, when there is incredible... satisfaction? More like satiation-- to be had in fantasies that aren't all sunshine and rainbows (I get that Abraham would be absolutely fine with fantasies that were rather thoroughly divorced from sunshine and rainbows--sex, for example. The sunshine and rainbows I'm talking about would include things like sex, but that sex would be completely devoid of any sense of dependency. There would be no tightness in the chest, tears, longing, missing, aching, or bittersweet farewells. All would be comfortable, easy, unencumbered by any obstacle that obstructs the path to full contentment). There is an itch I cannot scratch unless I am presently longing for something, presently wishing, hoping, making my chest ache with the anticipation of the thing desired. Not the thing already obtained. Fantasies of a lover safe and warm in my arms, with all the time in the world to lounge in bed and make lazy love, do not appeal to me. Fantasies of a lover anticipated to arrive the next day, or even later that evening after months of absence, me waiting impatiently for their arrival at the baggage claim, seeing them for the first time and being overcome with emotions of his vitalness to me. Of his necessity. Of his power and ownership over my heart and body. Of my own helplessness... God. I want him angry and jealous. I want him mindless and depraved in his love for me as well as sane and sweet. I want him to be disrespectful. Because then I know he knows I'm his. I want...I just want. So badly.

Maybe it's because I haven't missed anyone in my life who wasn't my own mother. Maybe it's my own shelteredness, my own childishness. Maybe I read too many dirty novels. But... alright so I understand that if I every admitted to reading those sorts of books, I'd get the side eye, but... I feel like in reading them I'm feeding a very young part of myself. I don't feel dirty. Reading them feels like being naked under the sun but also shielded from anyone's gaze at the same time.

It's not the right word, Young. I didn't feel like this before I figured out sex and sexuality, obviously. It's just a very... very little part of me, in the BDSM sense of the word, and yet thoroughly cave-womanly. It's vulnerable and its essential nature is rooted in a base, womanly appreciation for the salt and sweat and simplicity and earth-bound-ness of masculinity. I'm obsessed with being earthbound. Not beings of spirituality, ultimately, but beings of mineral rich soil, dark caves, animals in heat.

I don't want to be free. I want to be tied up. And I can't help that. Fantasies of contentment and the kind of wholesome joy it would be appropriate for any ten year old to experience, feel essentially boring. I need stimulation. I need indulgence. God please I want to be indulged. Give me the grace to allow myself indulgence.

Goodnight.

--Dot

#journal #journaling #journal entry #diary #diary entry #dark #confession #confessions #longing #indulgence #self indulgent #introspection

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aristocratlegacy · 3 years

Photo

Chapter Seventy (!): Night Out

Chloe: “And you’re sure you’ll be ok? Your birthday was only a few days ago, sweetie- I don’t want to make you feel like we’re making you grow up too fast!”

Pierce: “Chloe, she’s been able to speak in full sentences since she was literally a toddler, I think she can handle it.”

Chloe: “But you don’t know that! Maybe she’s just putting on a brave face! I was a big sister- I know what the pressures are!”

Roswell: “You’re still a big sister, Aunt Chloe.”

Chloe: “I know! And it’s a lot!”

Roswell: “No need to worry, though. My father is right! I’m complete ready to take care of my cousins, we’ll juts hang out like always, but now I can use the stove!”

Chloe: “No!”

Pierce: “Chloe, I taught her how to cook, it’s fine.”

Chloe: “No stove! Microwave only! No alcohol, just watch cartoons until we get back and eat the leftovers in the fridge.”

Roswell: “Got it.”

Chloe: “I left a list with everybody’s phone number, and if we don’t answer right away, dm me on every single social media platform. Even LinkedIn.”

Pierce: “We trust you completely, Kiddo.”

Roswell: “Thanks, Dad!”

Vivien: “Who’s ready to party, babes?”

Walter: “Okay, Roswell, I wrote down everybody’s number and-”

Pierce: “Chloe already covered the overbearing mom thing.”

Vivien: “By cuties! Take care of my baby!”

Pierce: “If we don’t follow her, then she’s gonna just take the car and go without us.”

Chloe: “Bye babies! Call me if you need me!”

Roswell: “Bye guys!”

Barbie: “Byyyye!”

Chloe: “I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

Pierce: “The three of us have literally not gone out since Barbie was born.”

Vivien: “Maybe you guys haven’t.”

Chloe: “But when was the last time that you stayed out past nine?”

Vivien: “.....I don’t answer to you, Chloe.”

Pierce: “Why are you so freaked out? Antonio is just gonna go to sleep, and Roswell will just do like a science experiment with Barbie and then they’ll post mean comments on videos saying the moon landing didn’t happen.”

Chloe: *Deeeeep breathe* “You’re right. There’s no reason that they’d do anything that they wouldn’t normally do. Let’s go.”

Barbie: “So…can we build that rocket you’ve been telling me about?”

Roswell: “The rocket is really more of a...long term plan. I don’t think anybody is gonna sell a couple of kids the kind of materials we’d need for it, and I don’t think it’s safe for us all to check out the dumpsters.”

Barbie: “You’re not a kid anymore, though.”

Roswell: “That’s...a very good point. Hmm,”

Barbie: “Ros?”

Roswell: “I’m thinking. Our parents trusted me to take care of you two, an taking you to go dumpster diving for the parts would be irresponsible.”

Barbie: “We’ll be fine! We’ll split the work and the responsibilities, that’ll even it out! You’re in charge of me, and I’m in charge of Antonio! Right Antonio?”

Antonio: “Bah?”

Barbie: “Exactly. We’ll be fine!”

Roswell: “I guess it’ll probably be fine.”

Roswell: “Alright, let’s go, we just have to keep an eye on the time and be back before our parents are.”

Roswell: “Agh! Ew!”

Barbie: “You okay?”

Roswell: “I’m fine! Just touched something wet- you two behave out there!”

Antonio: “Art…”

Barbie: “I’m loving that, Ants. You’re a genius. Like the big sticky mess guy, who’s that guy? Who’s the one with the big sticky mess?”

Antonio: “Ross…...well”

Barbie: “Pfft. Burn.”

Barbie: “Hey Ros did you hear what he said?”

Roswell: “I’m not stuck!”

Barbie: “No- he said you’re a big sticky mess!”

Antonio: “Burnd!”

Barbie: “Hah! Nice.”

Roswell: “Phew. Okay. I’m fine. I’m grown up. I’m the baby sitter. I did not get stuck.”

Barbie: “We already know all those things. Did you find it?”

Roswell: “Yes, actually, I think I have enough spare parts to make the fabricator run properly.”

Barbie: “Hell yes! What’s next?”

Roswell: “Crystals. Lots of them. And some kind of flying apparatus. We have a few options for that but I think I know our best bet.”

Barbie: “What...is this place?”

Roswell: “Spellcaster’s alley.”

Barbie: “Are we floating?”

Roswell: “Yup!”

Barbie: “Where’s the earth?”

Roswell: “It’s another dimension, I don’t know everything. Wait here for a sec, don’t let Antonio wander away. Sir? Hi, can I see your crystals?”

Wizard: “Ooohh-hoo-hoo! Naughty children out past dark unsupervised! Careful, or I’ll cast a spell on you! Wheee!”

Barbie: “Ahh! He cast a spell on me!”

Wizard: “I got your nooooose!”

Barbie: “Roswelll!!!!”

Roswell: “Whoa- what’s wrong?!”

Barbie: “He stole my nose!”

Roswell: “Who? Antonio?”

Barbie: “No! Him- the wizard- oh.”

Roswell: “Barbie, there’s nobody else here”

Barbie: “He disappeared! Now I’ll never get my nose back!”

Roswell: “You still have a nose, Barbie.”

Barbie: “Oh thank god. He must’ve given it back before he vanished.”

Barbie: “Can we ask one of those fools to teach us magic so we can get back at them?”

Roswell: “I mean, I can’t. I’m an alien, I guess you could in a few years, though.”

Barbie: “Hmm….interesting. Is there anything else you need?”

Roswell: “Uh...yeah, I gotta get a radar and a few other things.”

Antonio: “Whaa!”

Roswell: “Oh, shit. Antonio! Press the down button on the broomstick!”

Barbie: “Sooo...when you finish your spaceship, where are you gonna go?”

Roswell: “Uh, I can’t really...say it out loud?”

Barbie: “But you promised not to keep secrets from me, Ros!”

Roswell: “It’s not a secret! I just can’t say it in english. It’s more of a glowy mental thing.”

Barbie: “Can you try?”

Roswell: “Uh, sure….”

Bssssszzzt

Roswell: “You getting anything?”

Barbie: “Uh...I kind of smell pancakes?”

Roswell: “Yeah, that’s probably the best way for me to describe it.”

Barbie: “What do you think the pancake planet is like, Ants?

Antonio: “May-pull.”

Barbie: “Yeah that’s what I was thinking. I bet it’s really cool.”

Vendor: “You should obviously check out the lab if you want more information, but-”

Barbie: “What’s that?”

Roswell: “It’s a weird fruit. I think it came from my planet and it’ll help me triangulate it’s location.”

Barbie: “What’s that?”

Roswell: “A hat that will transmit my brainwaves out into space.”

Barbie: “What’s that?”

Roswell: “Codes to get into the abandoned laboratory outside of town.”

Barbie: “Are we...going to the abandoned laboratory outside of town?”

Roswell: “Yup, I just have to grab a few things there, and then one more thing, then we can head home.”

Roswell: “Hff, hnggg, shoot. I can’t get it open.”

Barbie: “I can help.”

Antonio: “Help!”

Roswell: “I’m not sure you guys are gonna be able to do any better than me.”

Barbie: “Won’t know unless you try. Ok- Pull!”

Barbie: “Ok, yeah, that bad boy is shut-shut.”

Roswell: “Maybe there’s a key somewhere?”

Antonio: “Color it in!”

Roswell: “Oh- Antonio, no, you probably shouldn’t mess with that.”

Barbie: “Why not? Somebody already drew lines all over it.”

Roswell: “Yeah, because it’s redacted, not because it’s art.”

Barbie: “That makes more sense, it was really bad art.”

Roswell: “Hmm, maybe I can look at these papers more closely and figure out how to get in there later, I don’t think we’ll be able to now.”

Barbie: “Did you get what you were looking for?”

Roswell: “Yup! Well, mostly. It’ll do for now.”

Barbie: “When you go to the pancake planet- are you gonna take all of us with you?”

Roswell: “Um...maybe? I don’t know if I can make a ship that fits seven people.”

Barbie: “Can me and Antonio come?”

Antonio: “Space!”

Roswell: “If Dad and your parents say it’s okay, I don’t see why not.It’ll be pretty cramped, though. We won’t get our own rooms anymore.”

Antonio: “Nooooo...thanks!”

Barbie: “Fine, then you don’t have to come to space!”

Barbie: “You promise you’ll take me with you?”

Roswell: “Of course. I hadn’t even really thought about it, I guess I just assumed that you’d come with me.”

Barbie: “Are we gonna come back ever?”

Roswell: “Of course! I think…”

Barbie: “You think?!”

Roswell: “I mean- I’m pretty sure. It might take a while to get there.”

Barbie: “How longs a while?”

Roswell: “Uh, a few years I’m guessing? Even if I bundle up a bunch of brooms together I don’t think that it’ll really go that fast.”

Barbie: “YEARS?!”

Rowell: “Are you okay?”

Barbie: “I don’t want to leave everybody for years, Roswell!”

Roswell: “Oh. Hm. I guess...I could go alone. That makes the most sense, right?”

Barbie: “I don’t want you to leave for years either!”

Roswell: “I mean I...kinda have to. Literally the whole reason I exist is so I could find my way back and tell my people about humans.”

Barbie: “Aren’t we your people, though?”

Barbie: “Is some quest from people you’ve never met really more important than your family?”

Roswell: “No! I mean…I….”

Roswell: “I’m not going anywhere yet, Barbie. Can we just...talk about this later?”

Barbie: “Fine. Can we go home yet, or do you have more stuff to get?”

Roswell: “I mean, I have one more big thing to get, but it’s kinda complicated. We can go home if you really want to. I’m kinda tired.”

Barbie: “Ugh. Fine. What is it, we can do one more.”

Roswell: “Okay, this is gonna be a little tricky but I think we’ve still got time before our parents come home, but I think if we ride these broomsticks we’ll be able to get there and back fast enough. Hopefully.”

Barbie: “Okay, when you said one more thing I didn’t think you meant cave-diving in El Salvadora!”

Roswell: “I said it was kinda complicated!”

Barbie: “Why do you always downplay everything when you talk to me?!”

Roswell: “I do not!”

Barbie: “You do! You do! You act like everything is simple and normal and then act surprised when we’re not all on the same page!”

Roswell: “Don’t act like I’m lying to you just because you didn’t have enough critical thinking skills to be able to realize that going on a mission into space would be more than a family vacation!”

Barbie: “I...I..mmm.”

Roswell: “Oh. No nonononono Barbie don’t cry! I’m sorry for yelling! You can yell at me back just stop crying.”

Barbie: “Jerk!”

Roswell: “Barbie come back! It’s not safe!”

Rowell: “Barbie!”

Barbie: “Ahhhhhh!”

Roswell: “Barbie!!!!

Antonio: “EEEE! BONES!”

Roswell: “Aah! Kids, get behind me, I’m the babysitter- I’ll protect you!”

Barbie: “Roswell it’s too dangerous!”

Roswell: “Hiya! Take that! Aaand that!”

Skeleton: “Waa!”

Barbie: “Are you okay Ros?!”

Roswell: “Oof, eyup, just a little winded.”

Barbie: “You saved us! I was so scared!”

Roswell: “And you’re squeezing a little tight there, Kiddo.”

Barbie: “Sorry!”

Roswell: “It’s okay. I’m really sorry for being a jerk before. I didn’t mean it.”

Barbie: “And I’m sorry for running off, too. That was a stupid thing to do, I was just upset because…”

Roswell: “I know, Barbie. I...I’m gonna miss you too.”

Barbie: “You’re my best friend, and I don’t want you to go away without me.”

Roswell: “I’m not going anywhere yet, and...maybe there’s another way. I’ll figure it out, because you’re my best friend too.”

Antonio: “Friend!”

Pierce: “Hah! And did you see the bartenders face when we-”

Vivien: “Yesssss!! Ahh…”

Chloe: “Shh- the kids are probably asleep!”

Chloe: “Hey, Ros...sorry we came home a little late.”

Roswell: *Yawn* “Oh, I didn’t even realize”

Pierce: “Were the kids okay?”

Roswell: “Oh yeah, no trouble at all. We just watched a few movies, they’ve been asleep for a while.”

Chloe: “Why don’t you go to bed, Ros. Thanks for being such a good babysitter and letting us have a night out. You’re becoming a very responsible young woman and I’m very proud of you.”

Roswell: “Oh, uh, thanks, Aunt Chloe.”

Chloe: “And Pierce- you’ve become such a good father, even though you were scared at first, and I’m proud of you.”

Pierce: “Uh, oh-kay?”

Chloe: “And Walter- you overcame your fear of being boring and asked out Vivien, and I’m proud of you too.”

Roswell: “Not gonna lie, that made mine feel less special.”

Pierce: “Yeah.”

Chloe: “And Vivi- oh sweet, baby Vivien! You’ve grown up so much and-”

Vivien: “Ooookay- it’s been so long since you’ve been wasted I think we all forgot how...supportive you can get. Go to bed, Chloe.”

Chloe: “Okay. Good night, kids.”

That’s it for now! I can’t believe I’m finally on generation 9- it’s been a long...5 years? Is that possible? Oof, anyway, we’re nearing the end, with one of my favorite generations yet. Thanks for reading and leave a comment if you liked it!

#sims 4 #sims 4 legacy

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crisontumblr · 6 years

Text

NaNoWriMo 2017 - Excerpt #3

Current Total Word Count: 21,087 Today’s Yesterday’s Word Count: 2,206

Related Reading: Previous Excerpts | General NaNo Tag

I had to go back and check on the wording I’d used for Rule #1 of this year’s NaNo run, and it reads as follows:

I can’t post any excerpts for your reading enjoyment unless I write at least the day’s recommended word count, so 1,667 words.

Since I got really damn close to yesterday’s “on schedule” word count (21,667), I don’t feel too guilty sharing a new excerpt with you guys--although I did have to fiddle with the formatting a bit!

Interview Log 9276-1-a:

Dr. █████: Hello. Are you [REDACTED]?

SCP-9276-1: That depends. Who are you?

Dr. █████: My name is Doctor [REDACTED]. I’m with the SCP Foundation. I was told you would require proof of my credentials? Here is mine. [After a measure of silence.] Does that satisfy you?

SCP-9276-1: Yes. Have a seat.

Dr. █████: Thank you. [Sounds of furniture moving, as Dr. █████ sits down.] I am to understand, from Agent Willows and the Foundation, that you wish to hand yourself in for containment.

SCP-9276-1: Yes.

Dr. █████: Why?

SCP-9276-1: I want your help. Not—not necessarily yours, specifically. The people you work for. The Foundation. I want their help.

Dr. █████: What sort of help do you think the Foundation can provide you?

SCP-9276-1: I have a number of… How do I put it? [A measure of silence.] Your Foundation is interested in the strange and the occult, right? Ghosts, zombies, aliens—that kind of shit?

Dr. █████: In a manner of speaking—

SCP-9276-1: I’m one of those. I’m a— [Sound of a lighter being flicked. There is a sound like someone breathing in, then out; SCP-9276-1 has begun smoking a cigarette.] Undead. That’s what she called it. I’m undead, and I don’t remember how I got that way, but I want to know. I think I deserve to know. You guys can help me find out.

Dr. █████: And what makes you so sure that we can help?

SCP-9276-1: Honestly? I’m not, but you’re the strongest lead I’ve got, and I’m pretty sure I’ve got at least one thing that should pique your boss’s interest.

Dr. █████: Which would be?

SCP-9276-1: [REDACTED, referring to SCP-9276]

[The only sound for thirty seconds is the sound of SCP-9276-1 smoking his cigarette.]

Dr. █████: SCP-9276—

SCP-9276-1: I see I have your interest.

Dr. █████: How do you know about her?

SCP-9276-1: She made me what I am.

Dr. █████: How?

SCP-9276-1: Well, I imagine that’s part of what you’ll get to find out if you take me in. Do we have a deal?

[Twenty seconds of silence.]

Dr. █████: I’ll need to make a phone call. And I’ll need samples of your blood, your hair—

SCP-9276-1: Take all you need. Just tell me whether or not we have a deal.

Dr. █████: Let me start with that phone call.

Interview Log 9276-1-b:

Dr. █████: Hello again, [REDACTED]. Do you remember me?

SCP-9276-1: Dr. [REDACTED]…? Yes, I remember. Are you sure you’re allowed to call me by my real name? I dunno if they told you, but I’ve got a number now.

Dr. █████: So you have.

SCP-9276-1: Then again, it is just hers with a “one” on the end of it. Figures. Can’t seem to get away from her even when I’m in here.

Dr. █████: Have they been treating you well in here?

SCP-9276-1: Yeah! Yeah, they have, actually. Everybody’s been very polite. I mean, they’ve all got that weird clinical veneer that makes all the politeness seem a little creepy, but at the same time, I’m not surprised. You guys apply science to what defies science, right?

Dr. █████: I-in a manner of speaking, I suppose, yes. [REDACTED], this is Dr. [REDACTED].

Dr. ███████: Hello.

SCP-9276-1: Nice to meet you.

Dr. █████: Dr. [REDACTED] is taking lead on your case, so I figured it would be important for you two to meet as quickly as possible.

SCP-9276-1: You mean I won’t be working with you?

Dr. █████: Oh, you will, but—

Dr. ███████: The Foundation felt that it would be a good idea to have an objective eye spearheading the procedures we might put you through, and so assigned me to oversee your stay. However, Dr. [REDACTED] will be acting as an advisor of sorts, given his experience in working with 9276 during her previous stay at the Foundation.

SCP-9276-1: I see…

Dr. █████: Is it all right if we ask you some questions?

SCP-9276-1: Go ahead, yeah, sure. Have a seat.

Dr. █████: Thank you. [Sound of papers shuffling.] When you and I last spoke, I asked you why you requested containment. Do you remember that?

SCP-9276-1: Doc, my memory might be shit—pardon me—

Dr. ███████: No, please; we encourage frank, honest speech here.

SCP-9276-1: I find that hard to believe, but… Anyway, Doc, my memory is shit, but I at least remember what we talked about last time. You want to know why I did it, right? Why would I call you? Why would I willingly hand myself over to the Foundation to be poked and prodded like a lab rat?

Dr. █████: Well…y-yes, I suppose. Why would you do that? You said—

SCP-9276-1: I know what I told you, Doc. I want you guys to fix me. I don’t know how. If I did, I would’ve fixed myself and not even considered reaching out to you guys—

Dr. ███████: Which reminds me. How did you know where to find one of the Foundation’s agents? It makes sense that you would know about us, if you worked for 9276—

SCP-9276-1: [REDACTED] taught me. “They are everywhere and nowhere, hiding in plain sight, and they will snatch you up and put you under glass without a second thought.” She was fond of saying that, but it’s pretty much true. You guys are hiding everywhere. The hard part was figuring out which one of you to approach. Agent, um, [REDACTED], was it?

Dr. █████: Yes.

SCP-9276-1: [REDACTED] was working in a bookstore around the corner from my apartment, but something about [REDACTED] was too… The illusion of being [REDACTED] was too good, too spot-on. So I followed [REDACTED] one night after work—which I guess was half of a mistake, because [REDACTED] justifiably almost beat the crap out of me, but…y’know, sometimes you have to risk having your skull caved in if you want help. One thing led to another and, well, here I am now with you.

Dr. █████: Hoping we can fix you.

SCP-9276-1: It’s not just my absent memories, Doc. I haven’t been in contact with [REDACTED] in maybe…I dunno, maybe—maybe a month? Month and a half? It’s starting to affect me, I think, but—but in a bad way. Not like I miss her or anything. I mean… Like, I-I’ve been having these weird…these weird…URGES. I don’t know how to describe them. It’s like my skin starts to crawl and itch and it just feels way too tight all over—a-a-and my joints ache, my muscles all kinda lock up or cramp and it’s just like… I feel like shit. Worse than shit. And I get…

[Silence of about thirty seconds, during which a lighter is heard. SCP-9276-1 has lit a cigarette.]

Dr. █████: What sort of urges are these?

SCP-9276-1: [With mild distress.] I can’t even begin to describe it.

Dr. ███████: Try.

SCP-9276-1: If I could, I would have already! I— [Deep breath in, then out.] I’m sorry. I just—this is the worst part. This is the part I want to fix the most. Feels like I’m just slowly losing control of myself the longer I go without being in her presence and I wonder…is this her doing? Is this part of what being undead is about? Do I have to choose between spending eternity in her service…or decay? Because I know what the alternative is. I know how I can sustain myself, but I won’t—I can’t do that because—because shit, what kind of CHOICE is that? Who would even…?

Dr. █████: Mr. [REDACTED], are you—?

SCP-9276-1: Huh?

Dr. █████: Are you alright? Should we resume this conversation another time?

SCP-9276-1: I… Yeah. Maybe that’s a good idea. Can I get some coffee? The welcome party only briefly explained about where I could and couldn’t go, so I’ve just stayed in my cell—

Dr. ███████: Mr. [REDACTED]—

SCP-9276-1: You can call me [REDACTED]. In fact, I’d prefer it.

Dr. ███████: Very well. [REDACTED] it is. Why don’t I give you a tour of the facility and showcase where you can go. We can start with the cafeteria and that cup of coffee, if you like.

SCP-9276-1: I’d like that. Thanks.

#NaNoWriMo #NaNo 2017 Excerpts #National Novel Writing Month #Original Fiction #Writing #Fiction #Mari this is stuff you haven't seen yet

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cait-writes-stuff · 7 years

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How Far I’ll Go

A/N: Thanks to @memento-scribet and @uncpanda for encouraging me to go rogue and write this one despite having other fics to write. I’m glad I did!

Prompt: This one’s shamelessly based on ‘How Far I’ll Go’ and ‘Where You Are’ from Moana. The reader is Bruce’s half-Atlantean daughter who he keeps away from the ocean. The ocean has always called to her and she had no idea why until her father finally comes clean as to who she is.

“I thought I’d find you up here.” Dick said startling. You let out a shriek and almost fell out of the tree branch you were sitting perched on but Dick reached out and stabilized you.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that asshole!” You cried punching your brother square in the chest. He flinched and rubbed the sore spot that you had just created.

“Ow! It’s not my fault you were too in your own little world to hear me coming. I was calling your name for like five minutes before I spotted you.” He replied defensively. “What are you even doing up here anyway?” He asked.

“Just thinking.” You sighed and turned your gaze back out to what had your mind preoccupied. From high up in this tree you had the perfect little nook that gave you a clear view of Gotham City and the rivers surrounding the island that flowed into the wide blue ocean that expanded beyond the bay. You often stared at the sun’s blinding glint across the water’s surface and wondered what lay below it’s depths. The line where the sky met the sea seemed to call out to you but you never knew how you could answer that call. You were absolutely mesmerized by the ocean but it was the one place that alway seemed to be kept just outside of your reach.

“Earth to [Y/N].” Dick called waving his hand in front of your eyes. “You disappeared again.”

“Sorry.” You mumbled.

“Well anyway, Dad wants to talk to you. You should probably go inside.” Dick said before climbing down the tree. He stopped at the base of the tree and looked back up to you. “Are you coming?” He called up. You took one last glance towards the sparkling sea before descending from the tree.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t get your panties in a wad.”

“You wanted to see me Dad?” You asked, peeking your head into the study where he was working on some paperwork. Your dad glanced up and smiled proudly at you. He set his paperwork down and rounds the desk before putting his hands firmly on your shoulders and gazing directly in your eyes.

“[Y/N], you are my daughter and I would stop at nothing to keep you safe but I think it’s time you knew the truth about our family.” He said leading you towards the tall grandfather clock.

You’re heart sped up, absolutely sure that this would be the moment that your father finally opened up and talked about your mother. For as long as you could remember he would always avoid talking about her and when you asked he quickly changed the subject. You loved your father but you had an undeniable desire to know about the missing half of you.

Your father reached out and opened up glass protecting the clock face and moved the hands of the clock to a specific time. The old clock rung once before it swung open to reveal a dark passageway.

This was not what you were expecting.

Your father motioned for you to follow him down the passage and you apprehensively stepped into the dark corridor. When you reached the end of the corridor it opened up into a large cavern that was covered with platforms that held everything above the water below. You took in your surroundings noticing everything from the supercomputer to the cars and the giant T-Rex. In the corner you saw a row of display cases that held costumes that were emblazoned with a familiar bat insignia that often lit up the night sky above Gotham without fail each night. Your father is . . .

“Batman.” You whispered. “You’re Batman.” You stated. Your father nodded once and placed his hand on your shoulder.

“I should have told you sooner, I know. I wanted to keep you out of this world for as long as possible but I think it’s time you are allowed to make your own choices.” He said. “You and your siblings are Gotham’s future, [Y/N]. Your brothers have chosen to walk this path with me and if you decide that this is what you want I will gladly teach you everything I know.”

“You mean I would become . . .?” You trailed off not really sure what this meant for your future and what your father was offering.

“What you become is up to you. I won't be around forever, I am just giving you the foundation to become the hero that this world will one day need.” Your father explained. Your heart swelled at the honor that was being shown to you. It was clear now that this was a rite of passage for your family, a rite that all your brothers had gone through. A swell of pride filled your chest to be trusted with the family’s greatest secret.

“I won’t let you down, Dad.” You promised.

“I know you won’t.”

“Did she say yes yet?” You heard a voice whisper from a nearby corner.

“I can’t hear if you keep talking dumbass.” Another voice retorted.

“Oh my god guys! Shut up! You’re going to get us caught.”

“-Tt- Amateurs.” Damian sneered at the corner where your brothers were clearly hiding.

Your training started almost immediately after being brought into the fold. After everything settled down again you felt disappointed that you were trusted with this secret but yet your father still refused to tell you about your mother. It felt unfair to you.

Being the newest family member to join the effort you were often relegated to monitor duty. You didn’t mind it so much because you soon figured out that the Batcomputer had classified files on just about anything you could think of. On a particularly slow night your curiosity got the better of you and you typed in your own name into the database. The computer pulled up your file which had just about anything you could know about you (you had hoped it would have something that even you didn’t know). Your eyes scanned for anything that could possible do with where you came from.

Mother: [REDACTED]

The words stared down tauntingly at you from the bright monitor. Frustration and anger welled up inside of you. Why didn’t he trust you with this? What was your father hiding?

Before you could do any more digging on the subject matter you heard the Batmobile roaring into the entrance of the cave. You quickly closed out of the files you were looking at and attempted to calm your expression so that you didn’t look as enraged as you felt.

“Slow night?” You asked as your father stepped out of the Batmobile.

“It’s the calm before the storm.” He grumbled.

After discovering that your mother’s name had been redacted from your file you later tried to ask your father about your mother again. He gave you a hard frown, not saying anything on the matter except, “[Y/N], in time you'll learn just as I did that you must find happiness right where you are. Whatever reason you have for pushing this, drop it. It will only bring you pain.” He then walked away, leaving it at that.

Your heart deflated at your father’s words and you resigned yourself to never finding out who you truly were. You had a family and a role here so maybe it was time that accepted things for what they were. Your mother had never been in your life and if your father was so resistant to tell you anything there must have been a reason to shield you from her. She would never be in your life and it was time for you to accept that fact. But then why did it still feel like you would never feel complete without at least knowing who she was?

“[Y/N], I want to show you something.” Your father said almost a year into your training. You were well on your way to stepping into the role that your father saw for you and you were eager to prove your worth. In the time since you had been relegated to monitor duty you honed your skills and carved your place by your brother’s sides. You were easily finding your future by your family’s side but you still could help but to feel you didn’t quite belong as well as you should.

“What is it?” You asked curiously.

“You’ll see. Suit up and follow me.” He instructed. You quickly dawned your mask, changed into your uniform and followed your father to whatever he had in store for you.

As it would turn out, your father was taking you to a place that very few ever had the privilege to even see: The Watchtower. You were completely in awe of the place, it was everything you imagined it would be and more.

“Oh wow. . .” You breathed looking out the observatory window that overlooked Earth. You were astounded by the sight. The oceans were a deep sapphire with scattered swirling white clouds obscuring the view of the surface. The continents you once thought large and expansive now seemed like small islands isolated in a sea of blue and white.

“Amazing isn’t it?” Your father said, admiring the view right alongside you.

“It’s funny, I’ve seen this pictures of this view countless times but nothing beats seeing it with your own eyes.” You said, not able to take your eyes off the sight. Even from this far away the ocean still seemed to enrapture you.

“My thoughts exactly.” Your father chuckled. “Come on, there are some people I’d like for you to meet.” Your father said guiding you away from the window. You looked back over your shoulder to steal one last glance at the sight before you turned your head back and allowed yourself to be led into the Justice League’s meeting chambers.

Your father spent a while showing you around the Watchtower and introducing you to various people. They were all kind and friendly in greeting you. You were quite honestly starstruck in meeting a few of the heros that your father introduced you to but none had you more starstruck more than meeting Aquaman in the flesh.

“Hello. It’s good to meet you again after all these years. The last time I saw you you were just a little guppy.” Aquaman greeted, extending his hand out to you. You took hold of his hand and eagerly shaked it.

“It’s such an honor to meet you, your highness! I think you are just amazing! What’s Atlantis like? Does the kingdom span across the whole ocean or is it just isolated cities? Oh! What are the cities like? I bet they’re just spectacular!” You said, talking a mile a minute. Aquaman chuckled at your excited line of questioning. Your father gave you a hard warning look which immediately resulting in the end of the questions you had wondered all your life.

“Sorry.” You apologized rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly.

“You’re curious, no shame in that.” Aquaman dismissed. Your father’s eyes narrowed at him. If Aquaman had been anyone else, your father’s hard glare would have reduced him to a puddle of fear. Aquaman looked at your father curiously. “You haven’t told her?”

“We should be going.” Your father said taking your arm and leading you out of the room. You looked back over your shoulder at Aquaman, you still had so many questions for him. Before your father could lead you out of the room, Wonder Woman stepped into his path.

“A word?” She requested. She looked at you briefly before clarifying “Alone?”

Your dad glanced at you hesitantly before nodding curtly. “Make this quick.” He said before disappearing with Wonder Woman. When your father was gone Aquaman reappeared by your side.

“Stubborn and prideful, as always.” He said shaking his head sadly. “It’s not my place to tell you what he should have shared with you all along but just remember when the time comes you are your father’s daughter. Mind what he says but remember if a voice is calling out to you to follow where your heart leads, that voice is who you are.” Aquaman said, placing a hand on your shoulder. His words resonated deep in your heart but how could he possibly know what you had never dared to tell anyone before?

“I-I don’t understand.” You stuttered.

“You will in time, young guppy.” He offered, patting your shoulder gently. Your father returned from his meeting with Wonder Woman, Aquaman excused himself and your father quickly led you back home. When you got back to the cave, your father pushed off his cowl and sighed. He braced himself with both hands on the table and bowed his head.

“How much did he tell you?” He asked, his voice sounding defeated.

“Nothing! What’s going on? Everyone’s talking in riddles around me and honestly it’s pissing me off!” You cried in frustration. Your father didn’t answer you and turned to walk towards the Batcomputer. He pulled out the chair from the desk and collapsed into it with a sigh. He hung his head in his hands and rubbed his face.

“It was stupid of me to think I could keep this from your for forever.” He said, leaning back in the chair and sighing. “You aren’t from this world, [Y/N], not entirely. Your mother was Atlantean. When you were born she left you on my doorstep and went back to the sea without ever looking back. I’m sorry I thought I could protect you if I kept you in the dark.” Your father confessed.

So there it was. After all these years, there was your truth.

The truth wasn’t as satisfying as you thought it would be. To come to find out that the reason you didn’t have a mother was because she didn’t want you in the first place? It hurt. And to find out that you didn’t even belong in the world that you had grown up in made your heart ache. So much about you made sense now but you wished your truth was different, you wished you could feel more satisfied.

You tried to search for the words you wanted to say but came up empty. You wanted nothing more than to run as far as you could and just keep running so that’s what you did. You got on one of the motorcycles stored in the cave and raced to the only place that had ever provided you with solitude. You raced through the city until you finally came to a beach on the outskirts of the city that overlooked the ocean.

You walked along the rocky beach looking out towards the line where the sky meets the sea. The glint off the water and the crash of the waves against the shore calmed you. You took your shoes off and threw them to the side and stepped up to the water's edge and let the cold sea water wash over your toes. You let your eyes slip close and just enjoyed the sounds of the water and the cries of the gulls.

You opened your eyes back open and looked longingly out to the water. Knowing what you knew now you wondered where your home truly was. Was it here with your family where you knew you would never quite belong or was it somewhere in the unfamiliar depths of the ocean that had always called out to you?

You had been standing at the edge of the water for as long as you could remember never knowing why the sea called out to you. Now you knew but if anything that only strengthened the draw. You wished you could be the perfect daughter, the human daughter, that your father hoped you would become. You desperately wanted to be the daughter he could trust would one day fill his shoes to protect the surface but doubt filled you. Would you always turn back to the water? Was that where you truly longed to be, even if you would be met with an empty ocean?

Everyone in your family had their role. They were happy with their role. So why couldn’t you find it within yourself to accept yours? Would you ever be satisfied in playing along when the voice inside you pulled you elsewhere?

“What’s wrong with me?” You sobbed dropping to your knees in the water. You dug your fingers into the sand below you as the water soaked through to your skin. Your tears flowed down your cheeks and dropped to mix with the salt water of the sea.

You were so confused. You had no idea what your place in this world was now.

Warm soothing arms wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you to a strong chest. You let out a sob and wrapped your arms tightly around your father, not ever wanting to let go. As you sobbed against him, he soothingly stroked your hair and rocked you.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered, his voice thick with painful emotion.

“Who am I?” You choked out. You father smiled sadly and lifted your chin, pushing a lock of hair away from your face and behind your ear.

“Only you can answer that, [Y/N].” He said. He then pulled something out of his pocket and slipped it into your hand. You looked down at the object to see a wide gold bracelet that had intricate swirls and waves curling around it. At the top of the band was a silver shell imbedded in the gold. “This was your mother’s, it was all she left with you when she left you in my care.”

“It’s beautiful.” You admired, running your fingers along the gentle curves and turns of the design.

“You’re a part of both world’s, [Y/N]. As much as I always wanted to keep you safe here on the surface I understand if you feel the desire to go out there and find out who you are destined to be.” Your father said. “I was the same way when I was your age.” He smiled bittersweetly. Tears welled you up in your eyes and you constricted your arms around your father in a tight hug.

“If I go there's no telling how far I'll go.” You whispered into his chest.

“I know.” he replied. “Just . . . promise me you’ll come back home when you figure out what it is that you want.” He requested, unshed tears glimmering in his own eyes.

“I promise Dad.” You swore tearfully.

“I will always be proud of you [Y/N]. I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for.” He said gently cradling your cheek. You knew it must have been hard for him to give you up like this and it was equally hard for you to leave but your heart told you that you had to do this. You had to find what’s beyond that line that you have yet to cross.

One day soon, you’ll find out how far you’ll go.

#bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne #bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne imagines #batsis #batsister #batman #Batman imagine #batman imagines #dc imagine #dc imagines #dick grayson #nightwing #aquaman #aquaman imagine #aquaman imaignes

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