#maybe something to do with the recovery?

[sylkhi]

Recovery’s going great, my wound’s drying super well, gonna have my staples taken out at some point next week, should be able to bend my knee and start putting weight on my leg soon after that, which means I can get back to strength training and rugby and other stuff I like. I’m so excited y’all.

#Sylkhi stuff #so more context: #this is not the first time I’ve had this corrective osteotomy done #long story short a lot happened that basically made the last one… well not in vain #but the recovery was wonky #this has been better. maybe cause I already know what to expect #maybe cause everyone around me has experienced this before so it’s just chill #but yeah this is great #yes staples instead of threads for the stitches. not sure why #maybe something to do with the recovery? #anyway yeah this habit of putting stuff in the tags is not great but ummm… not ridding myself of it lol #TL;DR: ya boy is doing GREAT

[punkstylerecovery]

“It could’ve been worse.” It could’ve been BETTER. It could’e been EASIER. It could’ve been lovely. It could’ve been beautiful, it could’ve been fun. It could have been simple, it could’ve made you HAPPY. 

You can drown in two feet of water just as simply as you can in an ocean. Stop downplaying what happened and neglecting your feelings. Kill that idea with fire. Or at least acknowledge that what happened was bad without immediately trying to justify or dismiss it.

#trauma #trauma recovery #punkstyle #<- that's my tag #if you can't do this yet #try changing the sentence #'x was bad but it could've been worse' #NO #try 'x was bad AND it could've been worse' #it's a slight change #but it makes a difference #trust me #and maybe #one day #you'll get to the point you can drop off that part altogether #this isn't something that you can change in one day #but it's something you can work on #exercise it #like a muscle

[tysonfurybattlepass]

lancer hot take GO

1. CRIMINALLY underrated as a key player in the narrative. so often in fan content, he’s relegated to comic relief when in reality his character arc is the fucking CO-FOCAL POINT of ch1 (alongside susie’s)

but where susie learns that opposition isn’t always the answer, and it can lead to her hurting people she loves, lancer learns that the authority figure in his life isn’t omnipotent and perfect and he can stand up for what he knows is just. he can question the adult in his life he can BE HIS OWN PERSON and he doesn’t have to feel like he’s not good enough. fuck. not personal or anything prommy (lying)

2. i think he should be allowed to KILL. queen will livestream it. shit would be funny as fuck

#fr though i rly hope toby does something w lancer either narritavely #or as a side thing about his recovery arc #because like. thats not the end right? #hes in a better situation now but what about the psychological effect of All That #even if you dont accept my/meatloaf’s hc #that spade always believed lancer to be the Prince Of Legend and thus tried to supress him #abusing him solely to circumvent the prophecy by removing a key player #the entire debacle on the rooftop at the emd of ch1 was traumatizing enough for lancer #i think he deserves to express the less cute/silly side of his trauma #maybe even do something DAMAGING #i understand and love susie despite what she did in ch1 #i would understand and love lancer too if he made bad decisions or caused problems #as an expression of what he’s been through #because christ almighty he’s been so mature for so long #god damn #anyway #deltarune #jordan talks

[paging-possum]

was going to start writing an essay about the possible overlap between christianity and OCD and then I remembered im on Tumblr dot com and also a fucking idiot when it comes to putting things into words

#idk man I just think about it sometimes #because I feel like one of the biggest steps in the direction of ocd treatment/management/recovery is to acknowledge that it exists #and recognize your obsessions and compulsions are becoming detrimental #and it becomes so much more difficult to do that when the obsessions are around gods perception of you/your own moral standing #because it just feels like a normal religious thing to be thinking about and worried about #and compulsions like repeated prayer just feel like something you're supposed to do #so even the thought that they could be bad feels blasphemous and it becomes a vicious cycle of ocd and IDK!!! IDK!!!!! #I still feel very weird talking about it with other people but its something I think about a lot because the worst part of it is that #no matter how bad it is breaking the cycle is maybe the most terrifying part of it and on top of that if religion is a big part of your lif #then it can be harder to find support for it as well because everyone around you doesn't see it as a problem either #idk im just rambling a little bit. anyways. hi guys religious ocd is a major bitch I kinda want to write something about it

[charmallows]

every day people misunderstand steven universe future and every day i have to pay for it (being very annoyed)

#like at this point ppl just misinterpret it on purpose just to argue....cause its ridiculous // #number 1 steven defender til the day i die. these mfs cannot keep giving him shit #like. maybe its not that deep but just SAY you do not care about real mental health struggles and get the fuck out #if you cant even handle your precious little angel steven having an understandable reaction to literal trauma #then maybe you just didnt understand steven in the first place. #no you dont like classic steven more than future steven you just Dont Like Steven #by treating him like a different character when he does something you dont like you are PART of the problem #the point is that you do not root for him. youre not SUPPOSED to root for him when he is actively breaking down #youre faced with his struggles and you hope for his recovery. you FEEL for him. like GOD #its fine to not like suf but dont blatantly read it in bad faith just because you dont like it #dont pretend its trying to say something its obviously Not #sighs #su #charmaaallow

[wereh0gz]

Is my discomfort with my boobs gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or just a general discomfort with the sensations of having a human body that comes with possible neurodivergency

#ramblings #it's probably all three tbh #it's not severe. like i can live with this. it's fine #but also i generally wish i had a flatter chest #every time i imagine myself in my head i see myself with a flatter chest #but like do i wanna go through the trouble of getting rid of them entirely #or should i just try getting a binder or something #or should i just. leave things as they are #idfk #i don't think top surgery would be an option bc money and. i'm scared of surgery honestly #and the recovery looks painful as shit #and like what if i regret it? what if i was wrong and that wasn't the best option for me? #i think i should just try to get a binder or something. just see how that works for me #and contemplate surgery when i'm older and can support myself and am more sure of whether that's right for me or not #also i'm. hesitant to call it anything bc again it's not really that severe #it's like. a thought that occassionally crosses my mind. at least once a day.. and doesn't leave for a while.... #hm yeah no maybe it's not as mild as i thought it was actually. wonderful realization to come to in the middle of writing a post #anyways. idk if anyone has any binder recs or anything i'll take 'em #also maybe tips on how to approach my mom abt this?? idk if feels like something i should talk abt with her but idk how to even bring it up

[shoutsindwarvish]

this is my first elul while practicing. i have ocd AND social anxiety and so feel guilty over nothing (or something way overblown) that manifests in reassurance-seeking, and so engaging in the traditional reflective teshuvah practices of the season is a recipe for spiraling.

my rabbi said i absolutely shouldn’t do it if it’s going to trigger me and try to focus on self-care and on self-improvement in other ways but didn’t give me a lot of concrete alternatives. anyone else in a similar situation? and, if so, do you have any tips?

#jumblr #trying to look online and its been harder than i expected #to find ritual alternatives #although i haven’t really dug into ritualwell yet? maybe they’ll have something #anyway i wanted y’all’s thoughts #my posts #what’s funny is i’m not worried about g-d being mad at me #that’s not the fear when i spiral like that #maybe g-d being disappointed? but not mad #mostly fear that everyone secretly hates me and would be right to do so because i suck #i’ve come a LONG way in recovery on this. #but my brain has a tendency to get into a guilt vortex over shit #that i do not believe g-d co-signs at all #and this is the perfect conditions for it to flourish #which would not be spiritually helpful

[caffeinatedopossum]

I just want to be able to indulge in my disorder without losing my ability to draw often and hyperfixate and hold a conversation and physically digest food without nausea and pain

#maybe i just want to get better but i dont know how #its so so hard. i cant even put it into words #i dont want to live like this. its like my only 2 options are relapse and maybe feel happy sometimes #or keep pushing for recovery but hate myself and my life and everything i make and every waking moment #and every bite of food that im just a little too aware of sitting in my stomach as i wait for something to get better #but it doesn't. i can draw and talk to people ig but its not good enough. my life is still being controlled by this shit #i wish i never tried to recover sometimes... just to keep up the illusion that things could get better if i chose to make them that way #what a joke. i was never in control of my life. if it isnt my ed its my DID or my anxiety or my phobias or ptsd or my insomnia #or my dysphoria or my autism or my disabilities #im so tired. i cant do anymore but i cant do nothing. i just want some decisiveness for once

[theygender]

*checking the tracking information for my package from under a pile of overpriced teas and vitamins* this next herbal supplement will fix me

#g o d what is up with my brain thats been making everything so hard recently #like. im in a job that im MUCH happier with now and loving it. im no longer living a waking trauma nightmare as a call center sup #...why is my brain acting like im forcing it on a trek through fucking mordor just trying to get through a normal day at work #im on break from school. why am i not able to do any of the things that i wanted to do during the semester but was too busy for #why am i not able to do anything that i want to do and if i DO manage to do it why am i not able to enjoy it #why am i living like every moment of my life in fear that im wasting my time or doing something wrong or not good enough #and like i KNOW the answers are adhd and depression and anxiety #but my buddy. my pal. @ the wrinkly fleshy thing in my skull #im on 6 different psychiatric medications with a total of up to 11 individual pills per day. im actively in therapy and have been for years #and my life is currently much better than it maybe has ever been! WHY am i still struggling so hard 😭 #like i know recovery isnt a straight line and etc etc but like. it just feels like im doing everything im 'supposed' to do so what gives #so. gonna start drinking more plants i guess and see if that helps. im already on some that seem to help but i think i need more now #bc im having a bad time in my brain prison tbh :( #im not even like upset typing all this out either im just like. bewildered. incredulous. exhausted #lets hope this new overpriced tea fixes me i guess #rambling

[seagull-scribbles]

Pre-Super Genesis Wave Antoine Post Metal Sonic Explosion/Coma

[Part 2]

#sth #Archie sonic #antoine d’coolette #I’ve been picturing him with an eyepatch for ages but he really would just look like His Anti Patch so #maybe Neo Metal could tell him true beauty is in the eye of the beholder #or some other terrible pun like that #I know Antoine is ambidextrous so he’d still be a good fighter #but you can not have something explode in your face and put you in a coma without consequences #I’m not being too angst though I do think he’d make a full recovery #Him and Bunnie could do physiotherapy together #she’d fix his hair for him #they both help eachother with their body issues #stuff like that #I know I drew him angry here I promise he’s still the same bean as he was before #cringe is dead #I could fix him no I could fuck him up

[caint-see-me]

"Hey...! Cass... Cassie? Do you think you can ask Lucius Fox how to recover my account? Tumblr has blocked meeeeeeeeeeee."

<3

Babs, (who got locked out)

🤨

Why did they block you?

And. How?

#cassandra cain rp #barbara gordon rp #cass comments #(ooc: if you seriously got locked out idk what to do. I'm guessing you tried resetting your password... #there's also like a form online for account recovery but knowing tumblr i have no clue if it'll work #maybe make another one? idk what the in universe reason would be for Babs just. not hacking her way back in would be. #woah new arc. Tumblr was made by a supervillain genius who considers Babs their archenemy. imagine it. could explain some specific updates. #lmao #anyway yeah idk. let me know if i should do something)

[youthdecayenjoyer]

okay so my guidelines for myself I think are that I can eat whatever and my intake has to be above a certain minimum but my net can be as low as I want/ can do that day and so far seems to be as long as I burn at least half my intake then I feel at ease, so that's what I'm going with

#is it the healthiest definitely not #but harm reduction and maybe it's not jumping straight into recovery but honestly right now that's not something I can do #at least I'm getting a feel for what my brain is comfortable with allowing me instead of trying to do too much at once #and just feeling constant shame and anxiety

[baylardian-1]

"A few weeks," she said again, willing it to be true. 

(AU HEADCANON DUMP UNDERNEATH...)

I gotta read more of Protectors sdfhkdjhgfk. I got to their farewell scene and then SLEPT ‘cause I ZOOOOOMED through The Eternal Tide hahaha. I guess I’d say that my CURRENT™ idea is that she finds out she’s [WHOOPSIES] the night before she leaves the fleet to return to Earth. (If it matters, there’s apparently like a three week interval between The Eternal Tide and Protectors where Chakotay and Janeway are essentially INSEPARABLE and sleep with each other every night haha. So perhaps somewhat unrealistically she’d be finding out VERY EARLY, but in the context of AU she’d have been inconveniently broaching her heat cycle around this time. And, despite taking every foreseeable precaution, suppressant, contraceptive, etc. prior to being intimate while on it, has the sneaking suspicion that none of these remedies effectively prevented her cycle from doing its job.) In the book it almost seems like she’s being evasive with Chakotay (If she isn’t just ride the AU interpretation high with me besties hahaha), they don’t sleep together, she catches up with Neelix and his wife in addition to chatting with Tom who ironically is ALSO expecting with B’Elanna, though I doubt either party would disclose this information to each other, likely it’ll get addressed later in the book hehe. I also find it funny that Chakotay takes note of the fact that he wakes up in bed alone and sweetly confronts her on it, but she kinda evades reasoning by listing all these excuses like being too busy visiting with Tom and Neelix. (I like to think she’d maybe have had some early onset morning sickness and THAT would set off the alarms and sneaking suspicions in her head hehe, but also inevitably the reason why she wasn’t in bed when he woke up.) But yes hohoho Kathryn and Chakotay say their goodbyes to one another, Chakotay mentions that if she’s in need of anything to then by all means contact him/the fleet, Kathryn defiantly says it’ll only be a few weeks til she returns, internally disputing any other alternative. She would choose not to tell him on their last day together, it’s cute too to take note of their goodbye kiss and how she lingers in it longer than Chakotay expects her to, I can twist that into her feeling like it’s the beginning of an end of something that only she knows about. :~)

#YEAH ILL HIDE MY CRINGE DONT LOOK AT ME!!!!!!! #IM SO FULL OF THOUGHTS DUUUUUDEEEEEEEEEE #the most ANNOYING question for me to sit on right now is mulling over whether or not SHED CONTACT HIM AND TELL HIM over the 4 months #because SUPPOSEDLY in the book she just straight up doesnt contact him. im assuming it's a road she chooses to venture down herself #with her RECOVERY #im also wondering if she DID contact him... the contact might be 'public domain' or something not confidentially kept #like AT LEAST FOR RIGHT NOW i think she'd be hiding the fact that she's pregnant the entire time shes on earth from most EVERYONE #cause 4 months is typically when you start to show >______> #but i ALSO know that what she gets herself into once she returns to the fleet is apparently a CRISIS #and i guess im all like UMMGGG UUUUH UMMMMM it makes for a potentially awkward conversation to just HAVE at some point #while the ship might be exploding lol #BUT IDK #currently im leaning toward the latter only because im assuming that her time on earth is very Mentally/Psychologically/Emotionally HEALING? #maybe its healing AND grating with starfleet breathing down her neck but i know she spends time with her mom + sister #who she might confide in along with the emh #HEAD SO FULL RN...... MRRRRRRRR #HAVE FUN READING IF YOU DO LOL <333333 #My Art #Star Trek: Voyager #Kathryn Janeway #AU #Threshold #Protectors

[somekangarookid]

i'm always so proud of people who are fighting so hard to try and be better. it's not always an easy thing. it's not always just realizing you made a mistake and you can apologize and learn to do better in the future. sometimes it's learning your whole worldview was painted for you, that you were raised to hurt yourself and others. breaking away from that is hard when it's the "reality" you've been living for possibly decades. you were actively shielded or punished from learning otherwise. here's to everyone who managed to escape and to everyone trying to escape a hateful reality.

#related to last reblog #i wasn't raised in a cult or anything so i do worry if i come off out of place #my personal experience is being raised by my parents who didn't know any better #got so many mental disorders from them ugh #i'm really glad i never internalized their younameitphobias #only thing i internalized when younger was Everything Wrong With Me and i would just hate myself so hard #anytime i did something good i expected disapprovement as the only kind of 'thoughtful comment' i could get #i really truly like how op was sharing their thoughts on recovery #i can't violently tear my own issues down because it doesn't translate perfectly but the visualizing thing is so powerful #i eventually visualized myself standing in as a friend maybe to my younger self #like. hey. it's actually kind of messed up that my mom would insult my drawings and think i could improve off that. #it's not a perfect drawing but you got the experience! we have a whole piece of art we can admire! the mistakes are charming! #ANYWAYS always super sympathic/empathic to people trying to get better it's so hard and you're so strong for getting this far #Joey says stuff

[bfdifan26]

burner fear garden

#rosey is the murderer and it’s brought on by a string of events that involve #the recovery cube disappearing for unknown reasons and that putting everyone on edge #rosey experiencing nightmares because of this #her stumbling upon an undiscovered entrance to the cave and finding a beautiful area inside it thats lit up by unknown crystals #bugs and plants etc #and finally her finding spraypaints knife on the ground #the first victim would be either hanger or limey or playdoh. or maybe she’d save him for last or something #and at first she’d think that record would be one of the easier kills but she tries it and in like a split second she sees a flash of purple #next thing she knows she’s slammed into the wall like on the other side of the room and she’s like Oh shit #and the whole time its a rush because rosey Knows the recovery cube is gonna be back eventually at any moment #and she Knows that it punishes contestants #pilly is the one who stresses out over trying to solve the murders #dependibg on how early limeys killed off that could be his main motivation #hanger if she isn’t killed for the majority of the thing would play the role of coiny but /p #OR peanut since he also has a relatively good relationship with rosey #it would also be way harder for rosey to actually do since the realm is a very open area #like if she went into a specific room to kill she’d still have to go through all the others to get back and go to the cave #also daddy long legs wouldn’t do anything i imagine. hes already intimated by small things in canon so i cant even imagine how he’d handle #something like this #but also rosey HAS to keep him alive bc if he dies then. its gonna be like hfj one all over again am i right guys #odiespeak #burner

[bittybeanie]

brain,,,, p l esase,,,, work with m e,,,,

#rambling in the tags ahead #i just!!! want!!! to finish a god damn!! wip!!! #is that so much to ask!!!!!! #psyched myself out bc i was so close to finishing something and then overthought it #and was like “ah yes well now i must return with an expertly crafted masterpiece bc it's been a while” #but that's.... silly #and i know it is!! but my brain won't cooperate!! #i'm also going on a trip here in a few days and trying to prep has been...... #overwhelming to say the least #anyways #i'm gonna try some different Pro Strats and see if i can get something done #but i'm also trying to be a lil more Gentle with myself this year #so i appreciate y'all's patience in this Post Holiday Recovery Phase #maybe i'll have to do something Unexpected next #wouldn't that be fun #even i won't know what it is!! #but yes going to try some different stuff in an attempt to get myself out of the writer's block i'm in rn #hopefully some time off will help as well and i can actually do some recharging #i hope y'all are doing okay #staying safe and rested and all that #love ya i'll see you soon thank you again for your patience