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drariellevalentine · 4 years

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Medically Inevitable

Meet Our Mc- Arielle Valentine

(This is after Chapter 7)

Name:- Arielle Cerise Valentine/Raines (professionally known as Dr. Arielle Valentine, celebrity-wise as Arielle Raines)

Birthday:- June 5th, 1995 (Age-25)

Zodiac Sign:- Gemini

Face Claim:- Nina Dobrev

Background:- Part Italian and French

Education:- Johns Hopkins School of Medicine

Main Profession:- Intern at Edenbrook Hospital, residency of Internal Medicine

Side Professions:-

Actress- Played a leading role in a medical drama during high school

Model- Models her sister-in-law’s clothing lines whenever she can

Influencer- Has over 40 million followers on Instagram, posts about her daily life

Singer- Has sung and posted on YouTube with female icons like Ariana Grande, makes a guest appearance in some of her MV’s. (Don’t worry, you’ll see how later!)

Nicknames:-

Rookie (Ethan)

Ari (Elijah & Sienna)

Elle (Bryce)

Sunshine (Naveen)

Cherry (Mark & Adrian)

Family:

Adrian Raines

Brother

Age- 31

Background- Italian and French

Profession- co-owner of Carson & Raines and Criminal Defence Attorney

Married to Alyssa, father to Arabelle

Relationship- Extremely close with each other. Whether it’s personal problems or work issues, he’s the first person who Arielle turns to for advice. He would do anything for his sister, and so would she.

Alyssa Raines

Sister-in-law

Background- American

Age- 28

Profession- CEO and Head Designer of Fashion Empire ‘Flair’

Married to Adrian, mother to Arabelle

Relationship- Very close to each other, Arielle considers Alyssa as her older sister. Lived with each other for two years when Arielle was in med school. Later, Alyssa moved in with Adrian as her company expanded and Arielle bought her own apartment.

Arabelle Raines

Niece

Age-5

Background- Part American, French & Italian

Nickname- Belle (everyone)/Amorina (Arielle-means little love)

Relationship- Arielle’s and Arabelle’s relationship is one of a kind. Both of them love each other so much, Arielle looks at her like own daughter. Alyssa jokes that her daughter is very lucky, not because they are well-off, but that she has two amazing moms. Arielle loves to spoil her, but makes sure she learns the importance for everything.

Mark Raines

Cousin- (Arielle’s father’s brother’s son)

Profession- Professional chef, owner of several restaurants and chains in various areas

Age-31 (older by four months from Adrian)

Background- Italian

Boyfriend to Blair

Relationship- This pair is very notorious and well-known in the family for their prank wars from a very young age. They still play pranks on each other, but not as much. Once Mark learned that Arielle’s middle name stood for cherries, and she just happened to be snacking on them at that time, he gave her the nickname ‘Cherry’, which caught on to Adrian.

Blair Carson:-

Best friend/cousin’s girlfriend

Profession- co-owner of Carson and Raines (Blair’s and Arielle’s father originally founded the law firm. Two years ago, Blair’s father died and she took over his position) and Women’s Rights Attorney

Age-26

Background- British

Girlfriend to Mark

Relationship- These girls have been joined to the hip at a very young age, due to the fact that Blair was left at Arielle’s house when both their fathers had to work. Their emotional bond and connection only increased when Blair’s mother died when she was 3, as they both relate to never have had a mother’s love.

Amelié Valentine:-

Late mother

Professional singer/pianist

Background- French

Relationship- Amelié died just a day after Arielle was born. Though, all of her family members say that Arielle is a striking image of her mother. They share the same vivid violet eyes, perfectly pink lips and numerous other resemblances. Naveen is the one who told stories about her to Arielle.

Alessandro Raines:-

Father, although not on speaking terms

Profession- Retired, co-owner of Carson & Raines (multinational law firm)

Background- Italian

Relationship- Arielle and her father have not been on speaking terms for 7 years since their huge fight on her 18th birthday. Although she was not close with her father during her teenage years, they were quite close during her childhood.

Naveen Banerji:-

Godfather, although Arielle considers him as her actual father

Profession- Retired, former Head of Diagnostics Team, Edenbrook Hospital

Background- Indian

Relationship- Naveen and Arielle were like father and daughter until her second year of med school. He taught her everything there is to know about life, love, and laughter. The two are slowly mending their broken bond, even though their love and affection for each other has never diminished.

Bennet Wilson:-

Ex-boyfriend

Profession- Neurosurgical Intern at Mass Kenmore

Age- 27

Background- British

Relationship- The pair met at Johns Hopkins, Bennet was in his 2nd year and Arielle just started. They graduated at the same time, as Arielle completed her education in only 6 years. The pair went to great heights with their relationship, made it official for almost 4 years and Bennet was also planning to propose later that year. Then he learned that Arielle had gotten matched with Edenbrook, as she wanted to work with her medical hero and inspiration, Dr. Ethan Ramsey. But he hadn’t, he was extremely disappointed as Dr. Harper Emery was the main reason he had gotten into neurosurgery. This lead to huge fights and disagreements, leading to Bennet cheating on Arielle with her best friend. The pair broke up three months before the start of their residency.

A to Z with Arielle

A is for Actress

Arielle is known for playing a leading role in a medical drama during high school. She plays a young paediatrician on the show, and is known very well for handling kids on set. The cast would joke about her being an actress and babysitter at the same time!

B is for Blush☺️

If there’s one one makeup product Arielle never needs, it’s blush. She blushes quite easily and sometimes for no reason (according to herself), though I’m sure you know why!😏

It also is her favourite colour. Her bedroom, from top to bottom, is a picture perfect aesthetic of the colour blush, with hints of gold and a shimmery pearl. Fun fact, Arielle painted her bedroom herself and chose all the furniture and decor with Alyssa. She wants her room to be perfect, as it’s home and should be a place of comfort and solace at the end of her tiring shifts.

C is for Chocolate🍫& Cerise🍒

Chocolate- Arielle absolutely loves and adores chocolate. She cannot go a day without eating something which has chocolate, claiming that instead of coffee, she prefers a sugar rush. She jokes that her first love wasn’t Bennet, but chocolate.

Cerise- ‘Cerise’ is the French word for cherries. Her mother named her ‘Cerise’ because the moment she was born, her lips were cherry red (after that they weren’t though) and her main pregnancy cravings her cherries. Fun fact, Arielle hates maraschino cherries and anything cherry flavoured. She only likes juicy, fresh cherries.

D is for Dance💃🏻

Dance- Arielle loves to dance, whether it’s under the stars swaying or learning BLACKPINK’s new dance from their MV’s. She is quite flexible, and has been dancing from a very young age. Arielle also dances as exercise, saying that it’s a fun way to keep your body fit, while at the same time jamming out to your favourite tunes.

E is for Exercise

Exercise- This is something that is really important to Arielle, especially since she gained a bit of weight when she was 12 or 13. Since that, Naveen had taught her healthy ways to watch her diet and to easily exercise. Arielle says that her yoga sessions with him were one of the best, and she still continues till today. She is never embarrassed about her weight when she was young, and actually has talked about it on some of her guest appearances on shows and her Instagram. Moreover, she loves to encourage and motivate people to lead a healthy lifestyle. She isn’t much of a fan of sports but is a great swimmer.

F is for Fame

Fame- Arielle is known for many things, being a top influencer, an actress, a model, an icon for fashion and her beautiful voice. One of the things that fans like about her is she is very down-to-earth and never hides away about the problems she’s going through. Also, fans like that she doesn’t advertise different brands or products, nor always posts with a full face of makeup.

G is for Gelato

Being part Italian, it’s only fair that Arielle’s love for gelato is real. She prefers gelato rather than ice cream, although that doesn’t stop her from binge-watching and finishing a tub of rocky road with her friends.

H is for Helpful

Arielle loves being helpful. She goes to great lengths to provide care for her patients. When a friend’s in trouble, they always know that they can count on Arielle for helping them.

I is for Instruments

Arielle learned to play the piano at a very young age, as for singing, it was something that just came naturally to her. She later learned to play the guitar, but not as well. She was classically trained for 10 years on the piano, before she stopped and only learned her favourite tunes.

J is for Jewels

Arielle does love a little bling now and then, and treats herself to a few accessories sometimes. Her family members, who know this, love to gift her with a pair of earrings on a special occasion. She also spares no expense in picking out something for her loved ones. But any accessory she picks always has a meaning to it.

K is for Kids

Arielle is a natural with kids, she absolutely adores them having a niece of her own. The funny thing is Arielle was the one who cried when she found out that she was going to be an aunt. Alyssa shed a few tears at first, later full on sobbing because of the hormones.

She always keeps her pockets full of candy, and always keeps a stash in her locker. She loves handing out candy or even sing whenever she gets a younger patient. In addition to that, she loves going to the paediatric ward and giving everyone a little something.

L is for Looks

Although Arielle doesn’t believe in covering her face full of makeup, she always makes sure that she’s dressed to the nines for every occasion. Her style is quite feminine and flirty, though she does like to rock some badass outfits.

M is for Medical Hero

There’s no doubt that Naveen was her main inspiration to become a doctor. But later on, the person who inspired her that she could be able to make a difference in people’s lives was Dr. Ethan Ramsey. After she met him once when Naveen had taken her to one of Edenbrook’s charity galas, she was even more inspired and in awe.

N is for New York

Arielle was born and brought up in New York City, New York. Although having lived there for most of her life, many people don’t believe her due to the fact of her very kind and affectionate personality.

Being a true New Yorker, she loves going there once in a year or two. She’s been to Central Park, Times Square and the Statue of Liberty many times, she doesn’t remember.

O is for Optimistic

One of the things about Arielle is that she’s very optimistic, and always sees the good in everyone. Being optimistic for a person for someone like Arielle is a huge challenge, especially when having been through so many traumatic events. But Arielle likes to see the positive side of things. She believes that if she always focuses on the negative, she’ll miss out on life. Although,sometimes her sunny optimism can lead her into trouble.

P is for Protection & Polyglot

Ever since being kidnapped during the second year of med school, due to the fact her brother was dealing with a very high profile case, she vowed to make sure she knew how to handle a gun. She currently owns 3. One near her nightstand, one in her car, and another extra just in case she goes out somewhere. Nonetheless, she has been learning self-defence for quite a while. Though she doesn’t like hurting people, she admits that it always provides a feeling of security.

Arielle is very fluent in English, French and Italian. She can understand and converse in Spanish and Hindi, Naveen having taught her. Surprisingly, her desi accent is quite on point!

Q is for Class Queen

Arielle here was the Class Queen in college. Working very hard to ace all her classes, she still managed to find time a create a social status for herself. She was known as the Center of Attention because of her background, even though she is kind and affectionate.

She later on earned a name, Triple Threat. This was given when she completely roasted one of her bitchy classmates. Also, she was known as the Heartbreaker among the boys.

R is for Relationships

Arielle dated one of her co-stars when she was acting in high school. It later ended in a mutual breakup, saying that they both wanted different things in life but are still friends. Currently, he is now one of the most top paid actors.

Her fist love was Bennet Wilson, which ended 7 years later very horribly. Though she says that being in that relationship had taught her something, “If you have worked hard to earn your place where you are right now, no one, and I mean absolutely no one should have the right to tell you what to do.”

Her friendship with Dr. Ethan Ramsey is quite close, but it might turn into something more... although both of them are completely unaware, except for their best friends, Sienna and Naveen.

S is for Singer

Arielle has an exceptional voice, she can sing quite high and belt out quite a few notes. Her meeting with Ariana led to both of them being huge friends. They have filmed and uploaded a few videos of them on YouTube. Some of them duets on Ariana’s songs and a lot of other crazy battles. The fans absolutely love the friendship between these two icons, especially when both of their personalities and dynamics match!

Arielle loves to sing, she says that it’s a way to express yourself and what you’re feeling. She sings when she’s happy, sad, angry, and somehow manages to beautifully showcase her emotions in every song she sings.

T is for Traditions

The Raines’ family have quite a bit of traditions. Every Christmas, they all make different types of hand-rolled pasta as a family. They all play Secret Santa, although everyone ends up getting a gift for everyone. Arielle is very particular when it comes to gifts, she doesn’t care about the price, she always takes a long time choosing something that is meaningful and personal. Another tradition is going on a huge shopping spree and picking out tons of clothes for children, then donating them to orphanages, along with small gifts.

One of Arielle’s favourites is the feast they make for Thanksgiving. Between Mark and Naveen, with a little help from others, the food they end of making is delicious, even if somehow Arielle’s the only one ending up looking like she just played the ‘Eat it or Wear it Challenge”!

For New Year’s, they all share their achievements and regrets by writing them on a paper, and then folding them into a boat, they let them go at the lake near Naveen’s house.

Even though Naveen is the only one who is Indian, the whole family celebrates Diwali together. Naveen picks out a dresses and outfits for every single person, with Alyssa’s approval of course, and somehow manages to make mountainloads of desserts.

U is for Unwind

When Arielle has time to unwind, she has a lot of methods. When she’s alone and it’s a beautiful summer day, she goes for a long swim. If it’s a day off with her friends, she loves to indulge in self-care, making a whole spa day at home. And last but not least, Arielle loves to colour. Some might find it childish, but she loves to pair colours with each other. Playing a list of soothing tunes, she finds solace.

V is for Vegan

Vegan- Arielle cannot imagine being vegan for even one meal. She’s a huge fan of seafood and meat, but doesn’t eat much red meat, and has a crazy love for cheese. Her friends joke about her eating so much cheese, but still staying so fit.

W is for Watch

Arielle loves to wear watches as part of her accessories. Although she has many watches, she never uses them to tell the time, mostly only as a fashion statement. She doesn’t like to wear them to work, because then she’ll be checking the time every five minutes!

Y is for Youngest

Arielle is the youngest in her whole family, excluding Arabelle of course. But oftentimes, Arielle’s the one handing out advice and hosting get togethers. She’s never been seen as the youngest and everyone in the family has a huge level of respect for her, especially after what she’s been through.

Z is for Zealous

If you asked anybody who knows Arielle and ask them to describe her in 10 words, zealous or determined would definitely be one of them. Her zeal and perseverance is one of her main factors what got her this far in life, and it will continue carrying her through life.

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franklyshipping · 4 years

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Practice Makes Perfect ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

HERE WE HAVE ANOTHER WONDERFUL ANON PROMPT THAT INCLUDES ONE OF MY FAVE HEROES EVER AND SOMEONE THAT I HAVEN’T WRITTEN IN A WHILE! LET’S DO THIS!

TAGGING: @silvlee-shepherd

Harold B. Darrensworth liked to think he was in the know about a great many things. Colour co-ordination, how to be punctual without fail, how to hoover and dust correctly, and especially when it came to the laws of the land. However, there were still so many things that he wanted to know and understand, especially now that he lived with this strange myriad of a community wherein half of the people had the same face that he did. They were a very social bunch, and slowly but surely Harold was trying to be social too, and there was one particular activity that bonded this community more than anything else. Tickling.

Now unfortunately, Harold didn’t have much experience when it came to social cues and experiences and the like, tickling included, and he desperately wanted to learn about these things! Mainly, he wanted to learn how to tickle someone properly so he could partake in making his fellow egos happy….as well as to maybe persuade them to do a few extra chores around the manor. So Harold had decided to seek out someone who he figured would be an expert, someone who had been on the receiving end of every single tickler in the household. The great hero himself, Silver Shepherd. Harold decided to head to the hero’s room first, and luckily the hero was in, lying on his bed and just relaxing his day away. Harold took a light breath, before knocking on the door.

‘A-Ahem, Silver? It’s Harold, might I come in?’

Silver sat up with a smile, and called out.

‘Yeah of course! What’s up bud?’

Harold smiled at how jovial Silver was as he entered and shut the door behind him, and he beamed gratefully when Silver patted the bed, inviting him to sit. Harold sat by him as he replied.

‘I am very well….but I am in need of some help with something, and I think that you may be the only person who can assist me.’

Silver’s eyes widened in curiosity, and he immediately perked up, giving Harold his full attention. Whenever anyone needed help, they always became Silver’s top priority.

‘Of course, what can I help with? Whatever it is I’ll do my very best to do whatever I can!’

Harold smiled, because Silver never ceased to be the most selfless person in the room. Harold took a breath, before replying.

‘I require help….with tickling.’

Silver’s face went a little bit pink from hearing that ah….word, but he tried to keep his cool as he cleared his throat.

‘Uh ti-….t-tickling?’

Harold nodded, and cleared his throat as he elaborated.

‘Yes, tickling. It has become incredibly clear to me that tickling is the most prominent social interaction that we, the egos, tend to be involved in with one another. Now, I know that I do enjoy it, but I have very little experience when it comes to actually administering tickling on somebody else. I want to learn how I can tickle properly so that I may interact with people more, since even though practically everyone is a disorganised, lawless mess, I do enjoy everybody very much.’

Silver’s expression softened a he listened, and he almost felt ready to cry at how Harold wanted to put so much effort into interacting with people properly and being more social, because he knows how daunting that can be for someone who hasn’t been used to people for a long time. Silver beamed at him encouragingly, because he so badly wanted to help.

‘That’s such a sweet goal, and I really want to help! What is it that you’d like me to do?’

Now, Silver was expecting Harold to ask him to perhaps tickle him and show him different tickling techniques….but Silver’s blush ended up darkening when Harold replied with his suggestion.

‘Well, logically if I am to be an adept tickler I must practise on somebody. This person must be incredibly ticklish, enjoy being tickled, and have had experience receiving tickling from every potential other tickler in the household. You, Silver, are by far the most tickled ego by my calculations, so I can think of no-one better to hone my skills upon! I believe you will be able to properly advise me on my techniques and warn me against doing anything that is accidentally inappropriate or not part of tickling etiquette. Will you help me by letting me tickle you?’

Harold was looking at Silver hopefully, fidgeting with his shirt sleeves as he watched Silver gape and descend into thought. Well, in truth Silver was trying to just process all his flustered feelings that had arisen from the unintentional teasy things that Harold had said to him. Of course though, Silver was certainly not going to say no to being tickled, especially since it was for such a good cause! So, after a few moments, Silver smiled bashfully and nodded, and tried (and failed) to keep his stammers at bay.

‘W-Wehell I-….I-I’d l-love to help…..o-of course you can t-….tickle me Harold.’

Harold gasped, and practically started wriggling with elation as he replied in a frantic, excited manner.

‘Oh-thank you! Thank you so much! You won’t regret this! Ah, how do we begin, can we begin now?!’

Silver giggled endearingly at Harold’s cute excitement, before replying with an excited smile of his own.

‘Yeheah yeah we can, o-okay so uhm….I-I’m going to lie down, a-and you should probably just sit on my legs so uhm….s-so you have a good vantage point….’

‘Okay!’

Harold eagerly replied, and waited for Silver to lie back down properly before he took off his shoes and then carefully perched himself on top of Silver’s thighs. Harold got himself settled, before looking down at Silver brightly.

‘Is this comfortable for you Silver?’

Silver smiled and nodded up at him.

‘Yeah, yeah it’s good. Also that’s really good of you, asking after my wellbeing, that’s a-always really important.’

Harold beamed at the fact that he’d already done something right, and made a mental note of the factor, before Silver continued.

‘But the uh, the most important thing is actually knowing when to stop, so that the whole thing stays fun and perfect. So, generally the person being uh….t-tickled will choose a special word. A short word that, i-if they say it, is the point blank sign to stop, no matter what. B-Because a lot of the time t-ticklees will say the word “stop” r-reflexively, without a-actually meaning it.’

Harold happily nodded along, taking in all the new information with great interest and care, since he was so eager to learn.

‘That makes excellent sense, prioritising safety in the situation, I like that very much! What is your special stop word?’

‘Mine is Red.’

Silver replied with a giddy smile as Harold nodded, before Harold started rolling up his sleeves.

‘Red, noted! So is there a certain place I should begin at, or may I start to tickle at any place I choose? Also, are there any places that you do not wish me to touch? Aside from obvious intimate areas of course.’

Silver replied with a bright giggle.

‘Yohou can start wherever y-you want uhm….there’s nowhere that makes me uncomfortable a-as such but ah, i-if you decide to g-go near my navel y-you need to be extra c-careful. If you’re t-too rough then i-it can be really unpleasant.’

Harold smiled in understanding, he understood very well that some tickle spots can be so hyper-sensitive that anything other than a feather touch can be horrible. He replied in a caring voice.

‘Since I am as of yet inexperienced I shall avoid your bellybutton, so there is no chance of me making you uncomfortable. Okay….hmm…..where to start where to start….’

Harold spoke reassuringly, before trailing off with a murmur, and Silver now started to squirm as Harold’s analytical eyes gently flicked over his body. Harold took a good few moments to think, just because there were so many potential tickle spots on the human body that it was very hard to pick where to start! Then though, Harold decided on a simple methodology, and smiled and clapped his hands.

‘Alright, I shall simply start from the top and work my way down!’

Silver let out a gasp when Harold then reached for him, and started stroking up and down the sides of his neck experimentally with his fingertips. Of course, with Silver being Silver, he started to giggle immediately.

‘O-Ohohoho my g-gohohosh….’

Harold beamed at Silver’s reaction, his eyes lighting up at the fact that he’d already made Silver giggle and they’d barely freaking begun the tickling!

‘My goodness, you’re already giggling! So you’re ticklish here?’

Silver nodded, nibbling his lip bashfully as he replied.

‘Y-Yehehes I-I ahaham….’

Harold kept up the gentle tickling at the sides of Silver’s neck, and cocked his head down at the hero as he commented happily.

‘Your giggles are very sweet Silver, I can see why the others tickle you so often!’

Silver squeaked with flustered embarrassment and spluttered cutely.

‘H-Hehehey d-dohon’t tehease mehe!’

Then, in a similarly cute fashion, Harold furrowed his eyebrows in confusion down at Silver.

‘Tease you? I didn’t mean to tease you, I only meant to compliment you.’

And for Silver, that made it even worse, knowing that Harold hadn’t even been trying to tease him. Silver scrunched his neck as he whined through his giggling.

‘C-Cohohomplimehents lihike that ahare teheheasy!’

Harold blinked in surprise at this revelation, but knew that teasing and tickling very much came hand in hand, and therefore that teasing was a good thing! He smiled and had mercy on Silver’s neck, before replying matter-of-factly.

‘In that case, I shall tell you some more! Did you know Silver, that you have incredibly endearing dimples when you smile?’

Silver yipped in surprise, and hurriedly hid his face in his hands, grinning as he stuttered.

‘H-Harold sh-shuhush!’

‘I most certainly will not! Did you also know that the way you blush so fast is incredibly cute and unique?’

Silver then started whining incoherently into his hands, which made Harold gently laugh. Harold found that he was enjoying teasing Silver just as much as he enjoyed tickling him, using his words to fluster him so much was incredibly enjoyable, which meant he continued to eagerly croon.

‘And I especially think it’s sweet how your tummy twitches when you laugh.’

Harold poked Silver’s tummy gently as a way of emphasising his point, which ended up making the hero yelp. Harold noticed of course, and grinned at his discovery of the new tickle spot….and decided that it would be the next perfect place to continue honing his skills.

‘In fact, I think I’ll tickle this tummy of yours!’

He stated brightly, making Silver hold his breath in giddy nervousness, before he let it out in a splutter as the hero descended into loud, airy laughter. Harold had started experimentally skittering over and poking Silver’s tummy, and by his mirth Harold surmised that the hero was incredibly ticklish there.

‘OHOHO MY GAHAHAD HAHAROLD!’

Harold chuckled gently at Silver’s exclamation, keeping up the tickling as he replied.

‘You seem much more ticklish here than you were at your neck, is my analysis correct?’

‘Y-YEHEHES-OHO FRIHIHICK!’

Harold giggled in amusement, especially when Silver’s hands started to flap about, and Harold commented on it playfully as he kept up the tummy tickling.

‘What are you doing Silver? Are you attempting to dance or to fly, I can’t quite tell.’

Silver snorted cutely, and spluttered with indignant embarrassment through his laughter.

‘D-DOHOHON’T BEHE CHEHEHEEKY!’

Harold grinned at that, and now scratched specifically at the sides of Silver’s tummy as he replied in a half-nonchalant, half-teasy tone which Harold thought would fluster Silver immensely.

‘But being cheeky seems to make you blush more, and besides, I fail to see how you can stop me….you seem to be at my mercy Silver, would that be fair to say?’

Harold was right of course, his tone of voice and wording really got to Silver. Needless to say, Harold was one of the best amateur ticklers ever, and Silver had to admit that he was certainly at Harold’s mercy right now. Especially since the sides of his tummy were monolithically ticklish and had him squealing.

‘EEEE-OHOMYGOHOD YESYES OHOKAY I AHAM!!’

Harold beamed, feeling very proud that he’d managed to get Silver to admit it aloud, and he was feeling oh so happy and confident with his tickling abilities. Then, he raised an eyebrow down at Silver, still tickling him as he spoke.

‘Would you say that I am a good tickler then? Based on the fact that I have you at my mercy?’

Silver snorted again with embarrassment through his laughter, his dimples fully on show along with his sweet smile as he nodded and wriggled about, trying desperately to stay strong and not fight back instinctively.

‘YEHEHES YEHEHEHES!!’

Harold was thoroughly enjoying tickling Silver like this, and decided to move his scratching fingertips down to Silver’s waist. Harold let out a chuckle when Silver yelped and bucked, before throwing his head back with mirth.

‘Gohoodness Silver, is there anywhere you’re not ticklish? You must have the most unruly nervous system in humanity.’

Silver hit his bedcovers with his fists as he writhed, laughing hysterically now as he got happy tears in his eyes from all the tickling….Harold was just too freaking good!

‘IHIHIHI DOHOHOHO NAHAHAHAT!!!’

‘Oh I beg to differ! I’m not even tickling you intensely and you’re so hysterical! It’s adorable!’

Silver tossed his head about as he laughed, his face and neck a furious red from his flusteredness from all the surprisingly effective teasing and tickling. As a result, Silver had now reached the end of his tether for the day, and called out giddily as his face scrunched up cutely.

‘REHEHEHED REHEHED!!!’

Harold gaped and immediately stopped, looking down at Silver with a half-smiled. He was elated from tickling Silver, but also a little anxious to see if he was okay after saying his safe-word. Harold fiddled with his fingers as he cleared his throat.

‘Are ah…..are you a-alright Silver?’

Silver was panting and giggling residually, and of course didn’t hesitate to nod as he smiled up at Harold so damn happily.

‘Haharold Daharrensworth…..yohou are the b-best ahamateur t-tickler ehever!’

Harold gaped and went pink with happy bashfulness, letting out a laugh as he felt his heart swell at the compliment. He’d done good. On his first time, he’d done good, he’d done the right things and kept it all happy and fun…..he was a good tickler after all. Silver had loved it, and so had Harold. Harold slid off of Silver’s legs, and cleared his throat again as he smiled at Silver.

’So ah….what do we do now?’

Silver smiled, and made Harold yelp by pulling him down next to him and wrapping his arms around him.

‘Now, we cuddle, which fyi is completely mandatory.’

Harold giggled at that and happily snuggled Silver. Harold felt so happy. Because yes, the one on the receiving end of the tickling is the person being made to smile and laugh….but never underestimate how happy someone can become when they lovingly coax out that laughter. It is one of the most fulfilling things in the world.

WOOOO HOPE YOU ALL LIKED THIS FIC LEMME KNOW IF YA DID WOOOO LUV YOUS XX

#markiplier #markiplier egos #silver shepherd #silver #harold b darrensworth #harold darrensworth #harold #sfw #prompt #platonic #ego fic #ego fanfic #tickle fic #tickle fanfic #tickle #tickles #tickling #ticklish #luv these bois

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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 3 years

Link

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

September 7, 2021

Heather Cox Richardson

Early in the wake of Trump’s presidency, Republican Party lawmakers facing upcoming elections appear to have made the calculation that radicalized Trump voters were vital to their political futures. They seemed to worry that they needed to protect themselves against primary candidates from the right, since primaries are famous for bringing out the strongest partisans. If they could win their primaries, though, they could rely on tradition, gerrymandering, and voter suppression to keep them in office.

So Republicans tried to bury the January 6 insurrection and former president Trump’s role in it. Although both Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) called attention to Trump’s responsibility for the attack immediately after it happened, they voted to acquit him of the charge of “incitement of insurrection” placed by the House of Representatives, and either to echo or not to oppose the accusation that the 2020 election was fraudulent.

Republican governors like Greg Abbott in Texas and Ron DeSantis in Florida, both of whom appear to have presidential ambitions, along with Kristi Noem in South Dakota, took strong stands against immigrants who they insisted were invading the country, masks that they claimed were stifling children, and now, in Texas (but soon to spread), against abortion. At the same time, Republican-dominated states dramatically restricted the right to vote.

This calculation is hardly a secret. In Washington state, two Trump-type candidates have recently challenged the popular Republican incumbent Jaime Herrera Beutler, who voted for the former president’s impeachment. Trump has endorsed one of them, and Florida Republican Representative Matt Gaetz, a Trump loyalist, traveled there this weekend to boost that candidate's campaign.

Republicans in Texas have swung hard right to rally their white base in a state that is now majority minority. The governor recently directed state police to arrest immigrants believed to have come to America illegally. The Republican legislature has passed, and the Republican governor has signed, a draconian abortion law empowering neighbors to collect $10,000 if they win a lawsuit against anyone who “abets” an abortion after six weeks, before most people know they’re pregnant; a strong voter suppression bill; and a law that permits people to carry guns without a permit.

Democratic state Representative Ron Reynolds, vice chair of the Texas Legislative Black Caucus, told the AP’s Will Weissert and Paul J. Weber: “They have to entertain and they have to appease because these are the people that are excited about voting in Republican primaries.”

But the Republicans' move right was always a political gamble. The fact that politics is getting so frantic suggests it is a gamble they are afraid they are losing.

Far from disappearing, the events of January 6 loom larger every day. On September 4, Jacob Chansley, who then called himself “QAnon Shaman” and was seen in the Senate Chamber on January 6, shirtless, painted, wearing a horned helmet, and carrying a flagpole topped with a spear, pleaded guilty to a felony. He could face 41 to 51 months in prison. He is one of 600 charged so far in the insurrection. Like others, he claimed he believed Trump had called him to the Capitol that day.

Some Republican lawmakers might be looking at Chansley’s four or so years in prison and getting nervous as they might face their own day of reckoning.

Senate Republicans filibustered the creation of a bipartisan commission to investigate the events of January 6, so the House created a select committee instead. McCarthy tried to sabotage the select committee by adding to it two representatives who had already declared their opposition to it; then, when House Speaker Nancy Pelosi rejected them, McCarthy withdrew all the Republicans from the committee and refused to participate in it, clearly hoping to discredit its work as a partisan hit job. But Pelosi invited anti-Trump Republican representatives Liz Cheney (R-WY) and Adam Kinzinger (R-IL) to participate in the committee, and they agreed. As of September 2, Cheney is now the committee’s vice-chair.

The committee has asked a wide variety of sources for a wide variety of records, prompting what certainly looks like concern from lawmakers who worked closely with the former president. When the select committee asked telecommunications companies to preserve the phone records of certain members of Congress, as well as the former president and members of his family, the lawmakers in question strongly opposed the committee’s request.

McCarthy claimed that any company turning over private information was “in violation of federal law and subject to losing their ability to operate in the United States,” although experts say there is no law that stops companies from complying with a subpoena (and, of course, Republicans demanded—and received—Hillary Clinton’s private data in 2016). McCarthy seemed to issue a threat when he said: “If companies still choose to violate federal law, a Republican majority will not forget and will stand with Americans to hold them fully accountable under the law.”

Eleven House Republicans wrote a letter to Yahoo (mistakenly addressing it to a CEO who left the company in 2017) warning that “the undersigned do not consent to the release of confidential call records or data,” claiming that “your company has a legal obligation to protect the data of your subscribers and customers,” and threatening that “[i]f you fail to comply with these obligations, we will pursue all legal remedies.”

The eleven lawmakers signing the letter were those most closely associated with Trump: Andy Biggs (R-AZ), Matt Gaetz (R-FL), Scott Perry (R-PA), Louie Gohmert (R-TX), Jodie Hice (R-GA), Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), Mo Brooks (R-AL), Madison Cawthorn (R-NC), Paul Gosar (R-AZ), Lauren Boebert (R-CO), and Jim Banks (R-IN), who seems to have aims for higher office.

Greene warned that any company complying with the committee’s request would be “shut down.”

McCarthy also claimed that the Department of Justice had said Trump did not cause, incite, or provoke the violence on January 6. This prompted select committee chair Bennie G. Thompson (D-MS) and Vice-Chair Cheney to issue a statement “on McCarthy’s January 6th misinformation campaign,” calling “reports of such a conclusion… baseless.”

The anti-government anti-mask movement also probably seemed like a better idea before the Delta variant hit. Governors like Abbott and DeSantis have doubled down on opposing mask mandates: DeSantis has gone so far as to use the government to prevent private businesses from requiring masks and to block local officials from requiring masks in schools.

But mask mandates are widely popular, and as hospitalizations and deaths spike among the unvaccinated, popular opinion is turning against anti-maskers. The area around Miami, Florida, has seen the deaths of at least 13 school staff from Covid-19; hospitalizations of children are rising; and north Idaho has begun to ration medical care; Covid hospitalizations on Labor Day 2021 were 61,000 higher than they were a year ago (99,000 versus 38,000), and health care workers are exhausted. Doctors are beginning to push back against the anti-maskers, while school boards in Florida are defying DeSantis’s ban and Texas schools are challenging Abbott’s rule in court.

While Trump-reflecting lawmakers are demanding Americans put their lives, and their children’s lives, on the line for “freedom,” news broke tonight that Trump and his son Don, Jr., will spend the night of September 11, 2021, the twentieth anniversary of 9/11, commenting on a "gamecast" of a boxing match between former heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield (who stepped in when Oscar De La Hoya tested positive for Covid) and Vitor Belfort at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida. "I love great fighters and great fights," Trump said. "You won't want to miss this special event..."—which can be purchased for $49.99.

—-

Notes:

https://hillreporter.com/commentary-watch-long-read-my-day-in-magaville-111691

https://www.npr.org/2021/09/03/1034076581/an-arizona-man-who-wore-horns-in-the-jan-6-capitol-riot-pleads-guilty-to-felony

https://oversight.house.gov/news/press-releases/house-republicans-issued-more-than-70-subpoenas-and-letters-investigating

https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/30/politics/january-6-phone-records-members-of-congress/index.html

https://biggs.house.gov/sites/biggs.house.gov/files/documents/Letter%20to%20Yahoo%21%5B1%5D.pdf

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2021/09/07/gop-effort-hamstring-jan-6-investigation-enters-new-phase/

https://january6th.house.gov/news/press-releases/thompson-cheney-statement-mccarthy-s-january-6th-misinformation-campaign

https://apnews.com/article/health-texas-coronavirus-pandemic-race-and-ethnicity-gun-politics-7fc96749dd93d45ff0f2f9bab1fd7b40

https://www.texastribune.org/2021/08/31/texas-voting-restrictions-bill/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2021/09/07/desantis-abbott-youngkin-covid-mask-mandates/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2021/08/17/latest-gop-anti-mask-lunacy-is-stirring-backlash-new-polling-reveals-it/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2021/09/07/desantis-abbott-youngkin-covid-mask-mandates/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/09/07/covid-delta-variant-live-updates/

https://blog.idahoreports.idahoptv.org/2021/09/07/crisis-standards-of-care-activated-in-north-idaho/

https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/570995-austin-area-district-defies-abbot-on-school-masks-ban

https://amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/sep/06/republicans-6-january-investigation-intimidation

Jeff Stein @JStein_WaPoCovid hospitalizations, Labor Day 2020: 38K Covid hospitalizations, Labor Day 2021: 99K

Idaho moves to start rationing medical care amid surge in covid hospitalizationsThe surge illustrates how the delta variant has hampered progress in curbing the pandemic even as vaccines became widely available.washingtonpost.com

1,053 Retweets1,544 Likes

September 7th 2021

https://www.espn.com/boxing/story/_/id/32167639/donald-trump-son-provide-commentary-evander-holyfield-vitor-belfort-alternate-telecast

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

#quotes #political #Heather Cox Richardson #Letters From An American #Corrupt GOP #Criminal GOP #denial of reality #COVID-19 #repressive legislation #anti-vaxx

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banalbones · 4 years

Text

The Petite Prince: Chapter 5

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8

Chapter 5: The Treasure Hunt, Part 2

Summary: Roman is a child. Virgil and Logan lost him, and have been questing to find him for way too long. Remus loves his bro, but is feeling a bit more chaotic.

Words: 2485

Ships: Familial prinxiety, logince and Creativitwins. Eventual familial royality, roceit and DRLAMP

Genre: Fluff with a side dose of angst

Warnings: A few swears, tiny blood mention, arguing, a mention of being unconscious, a dragon, falling, tell me if there’s any more!

Taglist: @pricklyfish777 @sunflowerblondeuwu @itriedandimtired @draw-your-perfect-world @cemmy @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun @nonbinary-lizard-2

_________________________

The ‘twins’ were doing karaoke with the birds.

“Love is an open doo-oo-oor!”

The song was perfect for the pair, an adorable ‘love’ song for Roman, and a Disney villain tune for Remus.

Roman was grinning madly, his gap tooth showing, as his sweet little child voice perfectly nailed all of the notes.

“You’re really good at this,” Remus commented, taking a break from the song. “But Elphaba’s better.”

Cue the *o f f e n d e d p r i n c e y n o i s e s*.

“She’s a bi- she’s a bird! How can she be b- be better?”

Remus cackled. Annoying his brother was fun, even when he was a child.

He probably shouldn’t be thinking that, but still.

Quoting Virgil, sometimes I just gotta be me-an.

The smol one wacked his leg with the stick.

(Remus truly didn’t know how he kept getting it.)

“You know,” he said, “We could decorate the stick.”

That was a thing kids did right? Decorating sticks?

Apparently it was, as Roman squealed in delight and jumped around, whilst simultaneously summoning paint and glitter and smaller sticks and a whole lot of other stuff Remus didn’t bother to acknowledge.

I would have just gotten blood.

_________________________

“Are we supposed to climb this thing?” Virgil asked incredulously.

Logan wasn’t looking at the tower, so much as the dragon. It had shimmering scales, the color of the sea, covering the entirety of its lithe body, with accents of a bright gold littered throughout. The sunset colored wings however, were the things that stuck out most.

The dragon was quite beautiful and had cool wings, in an abbreviated sentence.

It also appeared to be asleep, which was definitely a pro in this situation of cons.

“If we wish to retrieve Roman, I believe so.”

“Well, fuck.”

_________________________

Virgil for all his faults, was loyal. Or so he told himself. Janus (?!?!), when the emo was still a part of the Others, had told him that dark sides were extremely protective of what they deem to be theirs.

So he supposed it made sense that he, the literal embodiment of anxiety, was about to climb a fifty foot tower with no safety precautions, just to save the little prince.

He turned to Logan and grinned sheepishly.

“So, uh, do you want to start?”

Just because Virgil was going to do it, didn’t mean he had to go first.

_________________________

The Dragon Witch smirked slightly as she rested her scaled head atop the tower’s black roof, gazing down at the two sides.

Looked like it was time to drop the ladder.

_________________________

Logan rolled his eyes at Virgil and began to reach for the tower, not sure what he was actually going to do when he touched it, when suddenly a pile of pili fell on his head.

“What the heck?”

The sub-astute teacher looked up to see… a rope of hair?

What?

“It’s like in Tangled!” Virgil said, somewhat excitedly.

“The Disney movie?”

“The Disney movie.” Virgil nodded.

“So what do we do, climb it?”

“I mean I guess,” The Supreme Dark Overlord of Negative Commerce (That’s a throwback) paused, “Because I don’t see any stairs.”

Logan, once again, rolled his eyes.

Might as well start climbing.

And so he did.

_________________________

Roman watched LoLo begin to climb through the fly-eyes. It seemed so fun!

Maybe he could do that one day…

If Remus would let him.

Roman giggled.

He probably would.

_________________________

Remus had wanted to add a thorn bush at the bottom of the tower, to be true to the original, ya know? But the smol one hadn’t wanted them to get hurt.

Again.

So instead, he had come up with an ingenious compromise that Logan would have been proud of.

Put vines at the bottom, but make them look like thorns!

It would be so funny to see Virgil panic and try even harder not to fall, especially with the armor-

Oh yeah!

“RoRo, do you want to give them the armor now?”

The little prince nodded enthusiastically, his face scrunching up in concentration.

And then…

“I did it!”

Little did the prince know that Remus had done a slight flick of the wrist, ensuring that the metal protection would… weigh them down.

He may be my brother, and I still love and will protect him at all costs, but I am always a chaotic rat man.

_________________________

I can’t believe you acknowledged that you were a chaotic rat man.

I can.

_________________________

Patton hummed softly, twirling around as he made the brownies.

He had tried checking on Roman in his room, but the princely side hadn’t answered.

So, he decided to make brownies to give to Roman when he felt like he could talk to him again!

If he ever felt like he could…

Patton shook his head quickly, dismissing the thought.

He would! It was Roman, after all!

Patton swallowed.

It was Roman, after all…

_________________________

Logan was halfway up the tower (and the hair) when he felt a weight be placed on his body. A very heavy weight.

The logical side was now extremely glad he had made Virgil stay on the ground.

Gravity tugged a little too hard on Logan for his own liking, and then he was falling.

And falling.

And f

Into a pile of thornbushes?

Logan inwardly groaned. It was like in the Grimm Brother’s version of the fairytale.

The prince fell into a bunch of thorns and got blinded.

I’m already blind enough, come on!

He barely registered Virgil screaming out his name through the rush of air and thoughts.

And then he landed.

________________________

Virgil screamed as Logan fell.

He was gonna die!

Could sides even die?

He didn’t think so, but what if they could?

The emo’s mind was so filled with what ifs, that he barely registered the dumping of heavy metal on his shoulders.

It was like a weighted blanket but five times heavier.

“Oof.” He was pulled to the floor, just as Logan landed… in a pile of thorns?!

How had he not noticed that?

“Holy shit! Logan!”

He heard a groan.

“Ow.”

Virgil breathed a sigh of relief.

At least he was alive.

_________________________

You fell off a tower?!

Yes. I just said that.

How did you survive?

We’re getting to that.

_________________________

The teacher figure groaned as he opened his eyes. He wasn’t blind, and he wasn’t bleeding.

That was a good sign.

It seems I have not, in fact landed in a pile of thorns.

“Holy shit! Logan!”

Logan attempted to move his head. A fall like that could not be good for his neck.

He managed it, if only slightly, to see a raccoon-like side running, well trying to run, towards him.

“Hello, Virgil. Before you ask, no, I do not know how I am alive.”

“Are you-”

“Yes, I am indeed hurt,” Logan interrupted, “I fell twenty five feet, what did you expect?”

“I don’t… whatever. How come you’re wearing armor?”

Logan responded with a dry “You are too,” before craning his neck (ow) to see that he was, in fact, wearing a bunch of bulky metal.

It was very blue. Or indigo, depending on how specific you wanted to be.

“Why is it so heavy?”

“That’s because of Remus,” a very familiar, lilting voice answered, as weapons materialized in the boys hands.

“Oh shit,” he heard Virgil mutter.

Logan looked up (once again, ow) to see the dragon that had been sitting atop the tower flying towards them.

It let out a roar.

To mirror Virgil’s earlier words, oh shit.

_________________________

Roman stood proudly, brandishing his stick for all to see.

By all, he meant Remus and the birds, as they were the only ones left to see it.

(The other forest creatures had to go, they had told Roman, it was almost dinner time for them.)

Apparently, birds had really weird eating schedules.

Big me had a really weird eating schedule too. He only ate during the night.

That, along with the fact big him never slept at night either led to the little prince forming a rather intelligent conclusion.

Big him was nocturnal!

Like an owl!

Wait…

If Big him was nocturnal (or an owl)…

Did that mean ReeRee was too?

…

“ReeRee… are you a- you an owl? Or noc- or noc-tur-nal?”

The Duke turned.

“Also, do yo- do you li-li-li’ my stick? Its glitty-ery!”

The tiny royal’s big brother looked confused.

“No? Why? Your stick is splendiferous, by the way.”

Now it was Roman’s turn to be confused.

(He was happy with the reaction to the stick.)

“Big me is. How co-how come you aren’t?”

Maybe the lack of sleep at night isn’t something that owl’s do.

Oh! Elphaba’s leaving! Byeee!

The petite prince was so caught up in his train of thought that he didn’t see Remus’s concerned gaze.

Bye bye birdies!

_________________________

Virgil stared at the bedazzled dirk in his hand, the onyx gems glinting in the light of the fire.

Wait, fire?

The emo turned to see a large green dragon (?!?!) diving towards him, flames spewing out of its mouth.

A dragon?

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit

“Virgil! Move!” he heard a voice shouting.

But for a moment he was paralyzed.

Then, in a way that was opposite his regular behavior, he let out a battle cry and leapt towards the reptilian rapscallion (Roman would be proud), brandishing his weapon.

The dragon roared as Virgil threw one of his dirks, the sharp metal burying itself in a shimmering teal scale.

No blood emerged.

One weapon wasted.

“What the fuck are you doing, you inbecile? Run!”

For some reason, Virgil decided to ignore the admittedly good advice.

The dragon swiped at the anxious side, knocking him into the hard brick of the tower.

The scaled beast crept forward.

It poked Virgil’s head, slamming it back into the stone.

And then the world was fading to black.

Well, he knew that wasn’t good.

_________________________

Logan shut his eyes, restraining a groan of frustration.

WHY did people (metaphysical people) never listen to him?

Virgil was the smallest of the sides (apart from Roman, at the moment) and though he was fight or flight, the anxious side really didn’t know how to defend himself, especially against dragons. It also didn’t help that he only had a tiny daggers and a leaden suit of armor to protect himself.

Logan took a deep breath.

…

When the logical side’s eyes reopened, he was subjected to the view of Virgil being yeeted (slang words) into the tower.

Virgil was quickly climbing up the idiot list.

Very quickly indeed.

_________________________

Where am I on the list right now?

The same place as you were when this happened.

Where was I?

That is not important.

What? Yes it i-

_________________________

Remus was concerned. Which was weird for him.

What did the smol one mean?

An owl?

Nocturnal?

Was Roman secretly an owl? Or did his twin have a really unhealthy sleep schedule that led to negatively affecting his mood, energy levels and attention span, making him lash out in even the slightest of stressful situations whilst simultaneously causing his metaphysical human being-like health and mental health to deteriorate?

Nah, he was probably an owl.

And with that (most of) Remus’s concern washed away.

His brother was an owl.

_________________________

Roman was watching the battle through the fly-eyes. Well, battle was an over exaggeration. It was really just VeeVee getting smacked into a wall by a dragon (who looked suspiciously like the Dragon Witch Big him had killed a while ago).

The prince looked to where Logan was.

The nerd looked reeeeeally annoyed.

Probably because now he had to defeat the dragon all by himself.

What’s he gonna do?

Roman watched as the logical side got up, a broadsword appearing in his grasp.

The prince summoned a bowl of popcorn.

He should throw it. Mama should definitely throw it.

Logan threw it.

And missed.

The sword didn’t even get near it!

Come ooooon, Mama.

The dragon roared and pounced on Logan, baring its teeth.

Roman leaned forward, a handful of popcorn nearing his mouth.

This was getting good.

A drop of saliva dripped onto Logan’s face…

Aaaaaannd…

He was whisked away from the fly-eyes view by a pair of grimy hands.

“ReeRee! No fair!”

“Sorry RoRo.”

The little prince pouted, and Remus held something out to hi.

“Look I made a stick!”

_________________________

Did it work?

Did what work?

The stick. As a distraction.

It wasn’t a distraction, I just really wanted to show him my stick!

Liesssss.

It was also a distraction.

_________________________

Patton was becoming concerned.

Roman usually would have come out by now.

Maybe he decided to talk to someone else.

But who?

Definitely not Janus, for obvious reasons. Maybe Virgil?

I should check. Just to see if he’s okay.

I’ll bring the brownies.

Just in case…

And so the walk to Virgil’s room began.

_________________________

Do it for the child.

That was the mantra that Logan was repeating in his head.

He truly did not appreciate being carried through the sky in a dragon’s claws, especially since it had caused his glasses to fall off of his face.

For the last time, I’m already blind! Why is it always me?

It also didn’t help that every single part of his body was aching.

_________________________

Do it for the bean.

That was the mantra that would probably have been repeated in Virgil’s head at this moment, if he wasn’t unconscious.

_________________________

Patton frowned.

Virgil wasn’t there.

Maybe Roman and his dark strange son were with Logan!

And so the walk to Logan’s room began.

_________________________

Remus giggled.

RoRo had forgotten about the fly-eyes almost immediately, being too distracted by the glowing stick.

He waved his hand.

A visitor (or two) was about to drop in.

_________________________

Patton furrowed his brows.

Logan wasn’t in his room either.

Were they all together?

Who else could they be with?

Remus?

It was worth a shot.

And so the walk to Remus’s room began.

_________________________

Back in the dragon witch’s claws, a fully healed, very confused Virgil awoke, and Logan felt all of his physical pain disappear, along with the stupid heavy armor.

And then they were thrown through the window of the brick monstrosity,

----------------

As Patton twisted the door handle,

-----------------

As Virgil and Logan crashed through the floor of the tower,

-----------------

As Remus looked up to see the ceiling falling in,

-----------------

As Patton pushed open the door,

-----------------

As the left brain boys fell into the Duke’s room.

Oh boy.

_________________________

Roman looked up from the stick to see ReeRee grinning like a madman (That’s pretty normal), VeeVee and Mama sprawled on the floor (Yay! Why’s the ceiling broken?), and Da- Patton glancing around the room with a plate of brownies in his hands (ohnohonohonohonohonoh).

The petite prince was feeling slightly overwhelmed.

“Wha?”

_________________________

Thanks for reading this chapter of the Petite Prince!

(And by the way, at the time of the stick distraction, Roman is around five. If you’re confused, don’t be scared to ask.)

Any and all feedback is appreciated!

#sanders sides #thomas sanders sides #tss #the petite prince #baby roman #roman sanders #ts roman #remus sanders #ts remus #virgil sanders #ts virgil #logan sanders #ts logan #patton sanders #ts patton

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chibistarlyte · 4 years

Photo

Below the cut is a master list of all the fics I’ve written for Boku no Hero Academia, organized by ship and in order of oldest to newest, all in one convenient spot. Keep checking the original post for more fics as I write and publish them!

tododeku fics

spit the ashes from my mouth rating: g trigger warning(s): childhood trauma, mild blood

He’d thought he’d gotten over it. That he’d moved on, healed, accepted what his mother did to him. What his father caused his mother to do to him.

But trauma has a way of creeping back up on you when you least expect it, rearing its ugly head and trying to drag you back underwater when you feel like you’d finally breached the surface for air.

Shouto is determined not to let it.

these hands could hold the world rating: g trigger warning(s): none

Izuku looked between their joined hands and Todoroki, and even though Izuku was on the bed and Todoroki was on the floor, neither of them speaking, with only their hands touching, this singular moment felt so...intimate that Izuku couldn’t wrap his head around it.

the sound of your name on my lips rating: g trigger warning(s): none

Shouto barely knew how to be someone's friend, let alone someone's boyfriend.

leave a beautiful scar rating: g trigger warning(s): none

Even with this blotch of marred skin, Shouto was still beautiful. Or, perhaps, because of it.

It was a sign he had survived the damage dealt to him.

rattle my bones like an earthquake to glass rating: t trigger warning(s): panic attacks, mild blood and injury

Izuku returns home to find Shouto in the aftermath of a panic attack.

keep holding on rating: g trigger warning(s): none

Izuku didn’t have to worry about trying to hold on with his shaking hands, because Shouto was holding onto him enough for the both of them.

catching kisses rating: g trigger warning(s): none

Izuku is just trying to bandage Shouto up, but Shouto keeps stealing kisses from him.

you’re like coming home rating: g trigger warning(s): none

Five times Shouto steals Izuku's hoodie, and the one time Izuku gives it to him.

Behind the Camera Lens rating: t trigger warning(s): childhood trauma/abuse

Izuku and Shouto are two Youtubers who have been subscribed to each other for ages, but have never actually spoken. That is, until Izuku reaches a million subscribers and Shouto leaves a kind comment on his announcement video. A fast friendship forms from there, and more.

Izuku's crush from afar turns into something much deeper, and Shouto learns how to let love in.

**this fic also has a KiriBaku spinoff fic written by my friend Kat @sunshineijirou:

One New Notification rating: t trigger warning(s): none

Eijirou was nervous as he looked around at the crowd outside the convention center. Ochako, his friend and fellow fitness YouTuber had surprised him with two passes to a convention specifically for fellow streamers and vloggers. She usually went with her girlfriend, Tsuyu, but the large crowds weren’t really her thing. This year she had insisted that Ochako go with someone who really wanted to go. Eijirou had excitedly accepted.

keep it safe rating: t trigger warning(s): mild blood, mild gore, references to child abuse, scars

It's been many years since Shouto carried his heart with him.

After his mother tried to destroy his unsightly half, she had been sent away. Shouto's heart hurt so much, a near-constant burning in his chest that threatened to sear his lungs, the bones of his ribs, the veins and arteries that pumped blood through the vessel…

Well. One day, he decided he didn't want it anymore. So he took it out.

Date the Stars rating: t trigger warning(s): nightmares, repressed memories, trauma

“Shouto?”

“I do not understand…” Shouto said quietly enough that Izuku had to strain to hear him. “Why are these images in my mind? Their presence is illogical.”

“Well, the brain isn’t always logical, despite what Vulcans may have you believe,” Izuku snorted at his own joke, not surprised to find no reaction to it from Shouto.

“Becoming human is exhausting,” Shouto said, sounding completely and thoroughly exasperated, much of the monotony from his voice gone for just that small admission.

Izuku smiled. Small steps, right?

A fic in which Izuku finds an abandoned Borg drone named Shouto and helps him regain his humanity...and maybe falls in love along the way.

multiship fics

D(ouble)D(ate)R rating: t trigger warning(s): canon-typical violence co-author: @sunshineijirou

Kirishima invites Midoriya and Todoroki on a double date with him and Bakugou with the hopes of helping to ease the tensions between his boyfriend and the other couple.

Be The Very Best (Like No Hero Ever Was) rating: t trigger warning(s): to be added

Midoriya Izuku learns that, without a Quirk and with his Pokémon partner by his side, he can become a hero.

kiribaku fics

A Little Mischief rating: g trigger warning(s): none

Bakugou brings a cat in from the rain and has no idea what to do.

face the blame rating: g trigger warning(s): mild injury

Bakugou accidentally hurts Kirishima while Quirk training.

let me love you (without having to say it) rating: g trigger warning(s): none

Kirishima is sick and Bakugou wants to take care of him.

another story rating: t trigger warning(s): mild injury and mild blood

Eijirou did a one-shoulder shrug, careful not to move any other part of his body lest he open up his injury yet again. “It’s not like I don’t have scars all over the damn place,” he said, holding out one of his arms to make his point. Whitened scars littered his tanned skin, some in jagged lines, others in perfectly smooth cuts across his muscled arms. “Besides, it’s just another cool story to tell, y’know?”

todobaku fics

seventh time’s the charm rating: t trigger warning(s): mild injury and blood

Six times Shouto asks Katsuki to marry him, and the one time Katsuki finally says yes.

some days rating: t trigger warning(s): suicidal thoughts/ideation, dissociation, childhood trauma, depression, unintentional self-harm

Most days, Shouto is fine.

But some days...

Some days, Shouto falls apart.

one day rating: t trigger warning(s): references to depression and suicidal thoughts/ideation

He's okay, Katsuki has to remind himself again, almost afraid that Todoroki might slip right through his calloused fingers if he doesn't hold on tight enough.

follow-up to ‘some days’

the day after rating: t trigger warning(s): references to depression, negative self-talk

The tears come unbidden, and Shouto drops his phone in his lap to press the heels of his hands against his eyes. He can already feel frost creeping over his cheek, his tears cooling and hardening as they pass down his skin and over the frozen patches shining translucent white in the daylight.

So many people care for him...and he has no idea why.

part 3 in the 'days' series

tomorrow is another day rating: t trigger warning(s): references to depression, negative self-talk, references to suicidal thoughts and dissociation

“I think you should see someone, Shouto. A professional. They can help you,” Rei says, and Shouto can hear the quiet confidence in her words. Words spoken from experience. Who would know about this kind of thing better than her, after all?

Shouto nods wordlessly, pulling back and finally looking at his mother. She smiles softly down at him, and tucks some of his disheveled hair away from his face. “Is it scary?” he asks, already feeling the trepidation at the possibility of sharing his innermost thoughts and feelings with a complete stranger.

Rei nods slowly, her smile fading somewhat. “Yes. It can be scary, at first. And painful. Your emotions will be all over the place for a while. But…” she pauses, placing both her hands on Shouto’s cheeks to make sure she has his full attention. “Talking about this, working through it with someone who is trained to help people like you and me...it’s an important step to take so you can heal.”

part 4 in the ‘days’ series

a new day (to face your fears) rating: t trigger warning(s): mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts

The halls are emptier than usual for the end of the school day, which makes the journey to the teachers’ office all the more daunting to Shouto. At least if there were white noise around him, his thoughts wouldn’t bounce around so loudly in his skull and echo back at him tenfold.

Next to him, Shouto hears Bakugou take in a breath as if he wants to say something. Shouto holds his own breath, waiting for the other boy to speak.

But no words come, and Shouto exhales, feeling almost...disappointed.

everything the light touches rating: g trigger warning(s): none

"This," Shouto said, sliding the ring onto Katsuki's ring finger, "is my promise to you, Katsuki. My promise that, when I free this land from my father's tyranny and find a suitable ruler to take his place, I will go with you." Like the prince he was, Shouto lifted Katsuki's hand and placed a polite, delicate kiss to his knuckles. Katsuki's felt Shouto's lips move against his roughened skin as he said, "I will follow wherever you lead me."

i don’t dance rating: g trigger warning(s): none

"What?" Todoroki asked, raising a snow white brow. "Don't like to dance?"

"What the fuck would ever give you the goddamn idea that I do?" Katsuki said.

Todoroki just shrugged, finishing off his punch and tossing his cup into a nearby recycling bin. "Well...would you like to?"

Katsuki squinted his eyes at Todoroki. "Like to what?"

"Dance with me."

I Now Pronounce You... rating: m trigger warning(s): alcohol use, sexual humor, implied sexual content

Bakugou sucked in a breath and turned to face Shouto, his crimson eyes serious and determined. “Let’s get married.”

Shouto’s world ground to a screeching halt and he nearly lost his balance in the process. “Come again?” he asked, blinking rapidly a few times. He must be nearing black-out drunk if he was starting to hallucinate Bakugou asking for his hand in marriage. They weren't even dating.

A fic in which Shouto and Katsuki have had a little too much to drink and decide to tie the knot.

it’s okay (to not be okay) rating: t trigger warning(s): hospitals, injury, implied abuse

Todoroki nodded and pursed his lips. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as his mismatched eyes focused on his own hands as they tried to move in an unfamiliar pattern. If Katsuki were the sappy type, he might have admitted Todoroki looked cute when he was concentrating.

But Katsuki steered himself away from that train of thought, watching Todoroki’s hands sign a very simple, very loaded question.

“Are you okay?”

erasermight fics

shut up and dance with me rating: g trigger warning(s): none

“Do you want to dance with me, Aizawa-kun?” Yagi asked with an almost bashful smile, and Aizawa couldn’t tell if it was the dim, colorful lights or a blush that was turning Yagi’s sharp cheeks pink.

“Alright,” he agreed, pushing himself off the wall and taking Yagi’s hand.

kiritodo fics

hey, beautiful! rating: g trigger warning(s): none

"Hey, beautiful!"

Shouto looked up from his laptop. A smile immediately tugged at his lips when he saw Eijirou standing in the doorway to his office, all geared up in his hero uniform.

"Hey yourself," he replied, standing up from his desk. "Why do you insist on calling me that?"

"Because it's true?"

how many nights does it take to count the stars? rating: g trigger warning(s): brief mentions of war and trauma

The two of them sat together in silence, neither of them quite knowing what to say.

But...what do you even really say after a war?

shouldering the pain rating: t trigger warning(s): minor description of bruises

The polite thing to do was let Shouto take his shower, then ask him again about what was wrong afterward. But Eijirou was never good at sitting around and waiting.

So, he determinedly headed to the bathroom and cracked open the door.

And what he saw made his breath catch in his chest.

Written for TodoKiri Week 2021

gen fics

Children of Bad Fire Dads Club rating: g trigger warning(s): mentions of endeavor’s bad parenting

Shouto drags Izuku with him to hang out with Natsuo.

like night and day rating: t trigger warning(s): talk about suicide, references to depression

Katsuki watches his phone screen, waiting for a message back from Deku. But instead of receiving a text, his phone starts vibrating and screen changes to that of an incoming call.

From Deku.

"Fucking hell," Katsuki breathes out, clicking the little green button with the phone icon on it to answer the call. "What," he growls out, his voice gravelly as he tries to keep quiet enough to not wake Todoroki.

And lord help him, he can already hear Deku sobbing on the other end of the line. The other boy is speaking, but all the crying makes it impossible for Katsuki to make any sense of what he's saying.

missing scene between 'one day' and 'the day after'

#tododeku #kiribaku #todobaku #bnha fic #fic masterlist

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comradekatara · 5 years

Note

What’s the gaang in college like

this is SUCH a good question. thank you!!! i’m going to answer this in terms of what i think they’d be like if they did go to college, even though i’m quite sure not all of them would or should. this is almost 3k words btw because i have a disease :) thanks :)

aang: aang loves school, but he forgets to go? it’s just that he’s always either a) volunteering at the children’s hospital; b) helping a friend with a flat tire; c) taking his dog appa on long runs; d) giving heartfelt advice to a total stranger who looked sad; e) getting stopped on the street by an environmental canvasser when he doesn’t have his wallet on him and then devoting the rest of his afternoon to helping that canvasser get more donations and signatures from people who DO have their wallets, which is, frankly, a little overwhelming for the canvasser; f) happily embarking on an impromptu coffee date with a total stranger because she has multiple peace sign stickers on her backpack; g) defrosting tofu; h) reading exactly two pages of a book sokka recommended to him before getting bored and simply texting sokka for the highlights; i) painting, for fun; j) subbing in for the school mascot at some suspiciously aggressive sporting event, which aang normally wouldn’t advocate for, except someone asked him to do it as a favor and how could he say no; k) trying to start a vegetable co-op on campus and protesting heartily when his proposal is rejected due to lack of space; l) writing polite but firm letters to textbook publishers asking them to extract their biases from the next edition; m) generously attending parties as a “designated pedestrian escort,” since he neither drinks nor drives; n) making jewelry; o) making friends at the farmers’ market; or p) re-shaving his head. so how is he possibly supposed to make time to go to class??? he tries to do some of his assigned readings, and he always has strong opinions on them. but he doesn’t always make it to class and he’s very sorry about that. he still passes every class though. who’s gonna flunk a kid who missed his final exam because he was helping deliver a baby in the parking lot?

katara: katara is bad at college. she hates her major (because, as sokka wails to everyone who will listen, she chose the wrong major!). she hates her classes and she hates her professors and she hates studying. she hates the library and thinks anyone who goes there for any reason is “pretending to work” despite very compelling evidence to the contrary. she hates that campus buildings are named after dead slave-owners and colonizers, and she consistently gets arrested for trying to vandalize their nameplates. she is always able to find things to occupy her on campus–for instance, underpaid dining hall workers to advocate for, or a new college republicans group to protest, or an updated round of enrollment stats reminding her that higher education remains racist, classist and colonialist and upholds existing biases in society. she is constantly threatening to drop out and start an organization encouraging young activists not to go to college. however, she also finds her ongoing tangles with the dean too invigorating to ever stop: because of her anger and intensity and many unscheduled appearances at his office and sometimes even his houes, the dean is scared of her. katara is having a very traditional college experience in her own way, discovering new causes and coming into her own as an activist. she is just not, unfortunately, passing english 101.

mai: for mai, the main difference between high school and college is that in college she finds things to care about, and oh does it feel good. a frustrating experience registering for classes winds up being a happy accident when she begrudgingly signs up for a class examining perspective in literature. the class is electrifying. she gets really into creative writing after that, and writes a batch of her own short stories; in all of them, she uses perspective to give interiority to unlikely narrators. when she’s not writing, she spends a lot of time at art museums and foreign film screenings. while strangers might still think she’s aloof, people she’s shared classes with know better. she is passionate, engaged and argumentative. she is the frustratingly cultured friend in the friend group who will matter-of-factly correct someone else’s references without looking up from her phone, when no one even realized she was listening. and the other thing that’s different as compared to high school is that she doesn’t just hang around azula anymore. she has all these pockets of friends who share her interests, art friends and writing friends and film friends and friends from her computer science classes (yeah, she’s a computer science major because she’s just practical; it’s a thing). the gaang isn’t even at the top of her list of the people she’s closest to; in fact, when she leaves for study abroad, she forgets to let them know beforehand. but she does send back half-melted chocolates.

azula: hot on the heels of being the fastest runner and toughest boxer at her high school gym, azula gets to college and finds herself… no longer the best. the first five months of her freshman year go like this: she is running at the gym one day when she notices another young woman who is noticeably faster than she is and barely breaking a sweat. azula becomes obsessed with her, and starts showing up at the gym at the same time every day just so she can see her again, always claiming the elliptical directly behind this modern marvel just so she can watch her in action. one day, azula catches a glimpse of the woman’s student ID when she swipes in at the front door, and then goes home and creates a facebook account for the very first time just to find her profile and learn more about her. the girl quickly becomes aware she’s being watched (it’s not hard–all she has to do is look at the mirrored wall in order to catch azula creepily staring at her and mouthing aggressive self-motivation. she asks azula what her problem is. azula’s like, “excuse me? how dare you?????” before she finds she has nothing else to say. she storms off back to her dorm and screams at the top of her lungs for a little while. the next day, she goes back to the gym and works out even harder. but she promptly passes out. she has to take a week off to recover. by the time she can go back to the gym, she is too embarrassed to follow this woman around anymore. however, this same pattern repeats itself periodically whenever azula comes into contact with anyone even a little bit better than her. eventually, the stress of competing with every talented person in sight (whether in the realm of athletics, academics, or the board game club that really, really wants to kick her out) starts to take its toll, and azula proceeds to live in the walls for a little while while she thinks things through. while she’s in the walls, she misses her psychology midterm and has to repeat the class.

sokka: sokka loves college. college is almost exactly what sokka wanted it to be, although if he were to name one complaint, it would be that there aren’t enough places to hook up outside. he makes do, though. sokka is one of those brilliantly charming kids who befriend almost everyone, except the douchebags. he gets invited to every house party and every sorority formal and every rich-kid ski trip he couldn’t possibly afford and every late-night philosophical debate in a dorm common room. (he can’t even count the number of times he’s been getting ready for bed at 2am and his phone has buzzed with a text from some acquaintance he took a class with a year ago, asking for him to swing by their apartment and weigh in on a dispute. believe it or not, he usually goes.) sokka takes classes in as many departments as he possibly can: there’s some comp sci and some comp lit, some performance studies and some gender studies, some radio/tv/film, some environmental engineering, a fair amount of electrical engineering, no shortage of poli sci, and intro language courses in as many languages as possible. his adviser is like, “are you even human????” and sokka’s like “wym? i’m on scholarship.” in the end, there isn’t a major that sums up sokka’s focus of study, so he creates one; the unifying thread between all his courses is that he’s studying the future. like, of the world. they let him put the name of his made-up major on his degree, and although it’s in poor taste to frame your undergraduate diploma, he does it anyway, because he likes explaining to people that yes, he made his major up, and yes it was exactly as bullshit as it sounds. he’s very proud.

suki: does suki like college? sure, she likes it fine. she drives for saferide and organizes with campus feminists. she organizes self-defense trainings and also advocates for revising the mandatory new-student training in consent that all students have to take so that it’s oriented towards deterring would-be assailants, rather than putting all the onus on would-be victims. on a lighter note, she also participates in the campus drag show every year, and a number of formerly-straight-identified attendees gush to a reporter for the student paper that they are now questioning their sexuality thanks to “kyoshi’s” performance. also, suki does roller derby, and you would not believe the dyke drama surrounding her and her various exes from the team. it is not to be believed. but as for classes, suki could pretty much take or leave them. she likes art and math. she tries to show up sometimes. often she does not, because she is busy getting high in her truck or having sex outside. sokka doesn’t understand how she doesn’t care about her mediocre grades. suki doesn’t bother trying to explain it.

zuko: naturally, zuko is a literature major. he takes every single shakespeare course the school offers. then he takes a class on milton, a class on dante, a class on female poets of the twenty-first century, and a handful of gender studies classes too; all of these classes change his life. after his first gender studies class, he cuts off his ponytail, determined to unravel the patriarchy in one snip. so it goes without saying that, emboldened by his distance from his father, zuko takes it upon himself to Seize The Day in a way he couldn’t in high school. sure, it’s cliche, but the siren song of that fountain in the quad is impossibly to ignore; he simply must go read poetry under its shadow. he forces himself to go to parties most weekends, always irrationally hoping that this time he might like parties and have a good time, but it takes him until his senior year to realize that he will never like parties. until then, he spends a lot of time mostly hugging the wall for safety and avoiding the eyes of the couples who are making out on the couches. when guys try to flirt with him, he spills his drink on purpose so he has an excuse to flee the scene, and the guys can always tell. he auditions for theater productions and is summarily rejected from almost every acting role; the one role he gets, he butchers, and he can even see on sokka’s face when sokka brings him flowers after the show that sokka knows the flowers were too much. when acting roles don’t pan out, he tries working on a show’s crew, but ultimately it’s not until mai gently suggests he try reviewing the theater productions on campus that he finds his niche. sure, few students read the student newspaper for its theater criticism, but zuko’s reviews are good. they get a prominent place of honor above the fold, and a number of drama professors are willing to admit amongst themselves that they wait for zuko’s reviews before shelling out for tickets. although he does write under a pen name so his father won’t find them. that’s just common sense.

toph: toph is smarter than most of her teachers and knows it, which means she derails class after class with smart questions, counterarguments, and passionate rebuttals. her older friends help her identify classes to take with professors who are welcoming of that sort of thing and willing to have a spirited back-and-forth. that’s how she ends up taking some higher-level philosophy classes as a freshman. (by the way, big mistake, but she gets what she came for.) her class schedule is an eclectic mix of electives cobbled together with little thought for how she’s eventually going to graduate; in the end, it takes her an extra year, and she’s totally fine with that. she has lots of friends and supporters and she also has a lot of enemies; the head of the psychology department memorably calls her a rude little troll girl. she studies abroad more than once, and though she has no reason to work an on-campus job, she has a volunteer gig mentoring high school students. sometimes her fourteen-year-old disciples will follow her around, wide-eyed, from social gathering to social gathering, and they’ll get to fully immerse themselves in toph’s particular college experience. it’s a lot of sniping and also a lot of smoking weed in other people’s apartments. also, she plays football in the park with suki every saturday rain or shine, and though there have been some close calls, neurologically speaking, she has thankfully avoided any concussions. (suki, unfortunately, cannot say the same, and toph is very sorry.)

ty lee: everyone has taken at least one class where ty lee came in late and sat in the back, but no one is clear on her major. what makes matters more confusing is that when people ask her what she’s studying, she’ll say just one of her three majors, which leads people to believe that she is lying. ty lee is studying physics, communications and theology, and while her class attendance is far from spotless, she can always get the notes from one of her admirers. apparently she studies hard, because she’s an honor student in all three departments. outside of class, ty lee is a sorority girl, natch. she freely invites her greek-life-avoidant friends to her fundraisers and formals because she doesn’t understand what they have against the super-fun greek system of which she is proud to be a part! also, she’s not shy about cheerfully reminding her friends that if she doesn’t have enough friends show up, she’ll be fined, with the unspoken reminder that she really can’t afford that shit. this generally motivates people to come through for her. it is anyone’s guess how ty lee manages her active sorority participation, her insane class schedule, athletics (volleyball) and her work-study job (calling alumni for donations–she’s disturbingly good at it, by the way). more than one amazed admirer has posed the theory that she might be a witch. when she hears that, ty lee just giggles and smiles.

#the gaang and #sokka #suki #ty lee #mai #azula #katara #aang #toph #zuko #sinxaschwarz #asks

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smoliboops · 4 years

Text

the egos as different (new who) incarnations of the Doctor: revisted

(havent written an analysis type of thing in a while, miss sharing ideas with people in general aha :’D)

originally 2am thoughts/concepts that i might draw aka revisiting the concept of the egos as different regenerations of the doctor (debate and additions are welcome):

schneeplestein- nine

(first regeneration after the time war and as such major guilt and lonliness from being the sole survivor who also had to be the one to end it. this paralleling to schneep’s 9 month disappearance and his possible guilt resulting from the events of say goodbye and moreso kill jse (as well as schneep probably doing risky things in the name of stopping anti). other things including, sass, calling humans “stupid apes”, rational, angry sometimes, but can appreciate the ancient human music that is tainted love, saving their friend/companion and telling them to live a good life as they head off to face their longtime enemy,the pain you see on his face when he gets compared to said enemy (”you would make a good puppet dalek), bananas being good source of potassium)

chase- ten

(is kind of a mess but a cool mess, generally the most emotional/human of the incarnations, starts off as a cool, charismatic type of guy but slowly goes downward into a spiral of sadness and lonliness as everyone he loved leaves (ya see the connection im getting at?), loses the girl he loved and missing the chance to tell her he loved her, ”im fine” he says as he just lost his best friend and is now alone standing in the pouring rain, accidentally quoting the lion king and harry potter but also “no second chances im that kind of man,” loves little shops and making things that go ding and silly made up words like “wibbly wobbly timey wimey”, literally Human Nature/Family of Blood shows how much he wanted a human life with a wife and kids and the episode "the doctor's daughter" where he finally gets a kid and loses her, the hero who goes from saving the universe with all his friends around him to him dying alone not wanting to go, literally called “the man that regrets” in dotd, listen to love don't roam on YouTube)

jj- eleven

(the doctor with the most confusing timeline, child-like wonder and the look of a young lad hiding the tired eyes of an old man who has seen and gone through so much, very protective of his fond family/people he loves, he literally snuck into a charlie chaplin film in s6′s immpossible astronaut, also stayed in Victorian london for a time which would be jj's aesthetic tbh, can be silly and clumsy and starry-eyed while also being capable of becoming the oncoming storm, “ Good men don't need rules, today is not the day to find out why i have so many.”, great with kids, like weird/unique hatwear, b o w t i e s, g o g g l e s, just wants to go home even if it’s the long way round, “every lonely monster needs a companion” (you can’t tell me jj probably would still feel like a monster cos of how closely related he is to anti), and also theres puppets in two episodes of his, despite the darkness and loneliness it just made him kind, the optimist, the hoper of far flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams )

marvin- twelve

(recognizing gender as a concept far beyond them obvs, he’s literally called a magician half the time lol, avoiding death by rocking out in the 1500s with an electric guitar on top of an army tank, “can you hurry up before i hit you with my shoe”, as a morally gray character that many theorize whether he’s good/bad, marvin relates well to twelve’s whole journey of questioning if he was a good man and willing to learn the extents of what that means, tried his best to not only do right but to try to help those who weren’t good people who he knew needed help, would fight robin hood irl with a spoon and have a sign saying “go away humans”, not totally great with social cues but he tries and that’s what counts, seemingly cold and harsh and grump but take time to know him and he’s actually warm deep down, "do you think i care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?", wiliing to "go to hell" for their friend, not only protective of the people he loves but is also willing to to things like repeatedly die over 8 billion years and almost cause the destruction of the universe for the sake of saving his friend, would sacrifice himself recklessly in the name of standing up for what he believed in)

jackieboy man-thirteen

(total ray of sunshine who also recognizes the dangers of being close to them (i.e. dying, forgetting, getting trapped in another time or parallel world, getting converted and dying, etc) and as such keeps those they love at a distance, literally not talking about who they truly were for a whole series cos they didn't want to wrap their family up into their own troubles they faced, adorably socially awkward/anxious but still perseveres in the face of danger and certain doom, "darkness never sustains, even though sometimes it feels like it might," would build their own gadgets, g o g g l e s, would eat dirt and bone dust for analysis, would save the day by becoming best friends with a sentient universe in the form of a frog, always tries to have a flat team structure but in reality "this team structure...it isn't flat. It's mountainous, with me, in the stratosphere, alone, left to choose. Save jack the poet, save the universe. Sometimes, even i can't win.", P U N S)

Bonus content: anti as sacha Dawhan's master

like *chefs kiss* (LITERALLY pretended to be the doctor's friend for years until revealing he actually killed him before she met him and took his place (that gif is him just throwing away that dude's minituraized dead body btw), the kneel scene, his s m i l e, maniacal g l e e as he destroys everything and kills people all to cover up the pain and sadness and anger he feels inside because of her *cough a piece of SPOILER being inside him and him not being able to stand it is definitely anti/jack vibes cough*, also imagine this small exchange but between jackieboy man and anti:

The doctor: "proud of yourself?"

The master: "Definitely."

The doctor: "all this death...Finally made you happy?"

The Master, smiling: "Ecstatic."

The doctor, closer to his face: "And has it calmed all the rage?"

The master, pausing and looking away: "...I don't think anything will ever do that."

Also pls watch that spyfall pt1 reveal scene (basically the whole ending tbh), again it's just *chef's kiss*

Ok that's enough blabbering from me. Still debating on drawing the egos as the doctor (ooh maybe a screen cap redraw would be fun if some people have suggestions for an ep to ref for each one (granted who knows if I'd have time to draw them all but I'm curious anyway lol)) ok time to head out *yeets*.

#jacksepticeye #doctor who #i guess?#i might queue this ramble lol

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unofficialkfamtranscripts · 4 years

Text

King Falls AM - Episode Thirteen: Crop Circle Jerk

View on Google Docs Summary: November 1, 2015 - An emergency at Libbydale Farms has Deputy Troy and King Falls AM on high alert. Mysterious lights? Check. Crop Circles? Check. Intergalactic Gang War? Stay tuned to 660 on the AM Dial to find out.

[podcast intro music]

[S&B show intro]

Ben Good evening! You’re listening to King Falls AM – that’s 660 on the radio dial.

Sammy Folks, we are jumping right into it tonight. We got Deputy Troy on the line, live from Libbydale Farms. Hey, Troy, can you hear us alright?

Troy Loud and clear, Sammy. Heard you real fine, too, Ben.

Ben [muttered] Suck an egg.

Sammy Okay. So, Troy. Tell the listeners what you just told us right before we went on air.

Troy Ladies and gents, in all my years— and I mean all of ‘em— I ain’t never seen anything like this! Not even comparatively close to what I’m lookin’ at right this instant. [faint sounds of police radio in bg]

Ben POINT. GET TO IT.

Troy Gosh darnit, Ben. I’m trying to sell the magnitude of what I’m feastin’ my eyes on!

Ben Who even knew you could see Libbydale Farms from so far out in the Kiss Ass Sea aboard the SS Backstabber.

Troy You know G-D well I’m not on a ship nor would it be called the SS Backstabber if I were. Don’t be so damn sore, Ben! Everybody knows I’m sorry! Plus- [kinda shyly] I reckon my ship be called the- USS Super Badass.

Sammy *pointedly clears throat* Troy. Ben. Let’s put our differences aside and let’s get to the matter at hand. So, Troy, you’re live at—?

Ben & Troy Libbydale Farms…

Troy & Ben I’m trying to talk!

Sammy GUYS!

Troy A-a-as I was sayin. I’m out here at the farm and out past the barns just hours ago, Old Man Libbydale called us in, and acres upon acres, boys, have been De.Stroyed out here.

Ben [accusingly] Where were yoouu, earlier this evening, Troy?

Troy Using my keen detective skills and ninja-like mental agility, I can see you’re trying to place me at the scene of the crime, little buddy. However Ol’ Troy was sawin’ logs next to the Mrs. before. my. shift.

Ben While crimes are being committed? *scoffs* Typical.

Troy Now that’s a low blow just be—

[shouting over each other] Ben NO! NO! Troy —low my pistol belt— Ben YOUU— N— TROOYY!— Troy — Ben come on— Ben — T— OHH Troy — this ain’t about the farm— Ben [mocking] OHH YEAHHH- OHHH YOU’RE SOOO— Troy — and you know— Ben —GOOD AT FIGHTING—

Sammy GUYS! GUYS! [“break it up kids”/dad-voice] I understand there’s renewed intensity between you two, but Ben, as co-host of this show and a respected journalist— put it away. Troy, you’re the first friend of the Sammy & Ben Show and a deputy sheriff. You guys don’t have to be best buddies, but let’s please report- on the news story- at hand.

Troy Couldn’t have said it better myself, Sammy.

Ben [hissed] Jesus.

Sammy So, Troy. Old Man Libbydale called you out— Acres of his lands destroyed. How so?

Troy Y’all ain’t gonna believe it, but you know I always shoot you straight… Two words: Crop. Circles.

Sammy [incredulous] Crop circles?

Troy It’s like a live action Led Zeppelin album cover as far as the eye can see! Big ones, little ones. The craziest damn designs you ever could imagine.

Ben Troy, I assume you and the rest of Gunderson’s thugs— I-mean-”deputies”— inspected the circles, and the surrounding areas, for man-made tools? There have been stories that men with boards tied to ropes can replicate what people believe crop circles to look like. Bending the crops at the right angles, etcetera… did you find—

Troy Didn’t find anything, Ben. Not a board… not a footprint… nothin’ but hunched over crops.

Ben So you think—?

Troy Oh, there isn’t a doubt in my mind it’s from the UFOs or those lights. I mean, whichever you wanna call it. No man made these! And in just a few hours to boot!

Sammy Okay. So, has this ever happened here before, Ben?

Ben No! Nor abductions! Not even lights being so close to town. The past few months- have been a hotbed for extraterrestrial activity— it would seem.

Sammy “It would seem”? So you aren’t certain?

Ben *scoff/laugh* I only said “it would seem” so you wouldn’t get all defensive about it.

Sammy Okay, alright. Well, as much as I hate to say it, I definitely feel there’s a lot more than meets the eye here in Kings Falls.

Ben I’m not one to say “I told you so”… But I DID tell you so!

Troy Just so everybody out there knows: Libbydale Farms is private property. So, unless you’re doing the dairy farm tour in mornin’, this is not an attraction for looky-loos. There is an official investigation still ongoin’ here. Plus, don’t nobody need another person gettin’ snatched up by the Martians either.

Ben *smug snort* Martians are from Mars, Troy. They aren’t representative of all extraterrestrials?.

Troy [defensive] Whatever— Ben Nye the Science Guy. I’m headin’ out to the field again. I might not be smart as Ben about the aliens and such, but I can definitely sniff out a spot where the Williams boys will come lookin’ for Mischief and Mayhem. [click]

[dial tone]

Sammy Deputy Troy, folks. Now, I didn’t realize you and Troy were still so angry at one another, Ben. You can’t let that hostility clou—

Ben THANKS, DAD! — We’re just gonna take a break to hear from one of our fine sponsors. Maybe Sammy here can talk to me about the birds and the bees after we get back.

Sammy [quietly] Maybe…

[disquieting, melancholic piano music]

Soft, disquieting voice What if what you thought wasn’t really what you thought you thought? … Ever think of that? … Here at the Institute of Science, we can help you become what you’ve always wanted to become… A better you, for a better mankind! Call us today for a free brochure and a C-meter reading. That’s “C” as in “cat.” … We’re coming King Falls… Be well! … And be ready.

[piano fades out]

[S&B theme]

Sammy You’re listening to King Falls AM and we are opening up the phone lines to you. 424-279-3858.

Ben We’ll be talking about the apparent crop circle- situation at Libbydale Farms. As well as if any of you out there have had any experience with this phenomenon.

Sammy So give us a call or tweet us @kingfallsam. So, you’ve heard our story, now let’s hear yours.

Ben Line 3.

Sammy Good evening, you’re live with Sammy and Ben.

Cynthia Good evening? For who? Certainly not King Falls!

Sammy Hi, Cynthia. How ‘bout you tell us how you really feel tonight.

Cynthia Weellll, to be honessst, I’m a little rattled over these gang signs the aliens are leaving on our turf. Literally.

Ben Cynthia— there is no way to tell if those circles are- angry orrr happy! even. They’re *huff/laugh* just symbols.

Cynthia So’s a swastika, Ben Arnold. Get your head out of your tuchus!

Sammy Okay, obviously, we aren’t trying to raise alarms here, Cynthia. It’s just, uh— it’s an interesting story. Especially here in our backyard. Would you not agree? Uh, you know, it’s not every day you can see this kind of handiwork – man-made or otherwise.

Cynthia You two sound sooo happy. We’re getting tagged in an intergalactic war and all of us in the Falls are sitting around at ground zero.

Ben I- don’t think that’s fair t—

Cynthia That’s the problem! You just. don’t. think! It’s all Tim Jenson’s fault, I just know it. We didn’t have any flying saucer, land-tattooing bedlam before he chased those lights.

Ben He didn’t “chase” anything! He was driving from work and called to report on a breaking news story.

Cynthia Watch your tone, Ben. I’ll buy one of those rabid, disease-ridden sugar flyers and toss it in Lake Hatchenhaw. just to spite you!

Sammy Goodnight, Cynthia.

Ben Sugar glider. And- they are. illegal.

Cynthia So are illegal aliens, but you’re just getting ready to throw ‘em a parade! I can’t! I just can’t! [click]

[dial tone]

Sammy Heh, alright, uh… Line 12, you’re live on King Falls AM.

Emily Hi, Sammy! Hi, Ben!

Ben Emily! I–I didn’t realize you were back in town!

Emily I just got back. I was listening on the way in! My mom and I actually drove by the farm and saw all the commotion over there. Police; reporters— big lawn-mower thingies…

Ben Lawn mowers?

Sammy Uh, y’ know, if you don’t mind me asking, Emily, why were you out of town?

Emily Oh, I flew out to Buford, Wyoming,[1] for the annual small town librarian expo! And I had my mom pick me up from the airport since— Ben was on the air.

Sammy Wow. So you guys are in the taking and picking up from the airport stage of yourrr—

Ben Friendship. Is that the- word- you’re- searching for, Sammy?

Sammy [kinda smug] Thaaat was exactly the one, Ben.

Emily *soft laugh* You guys are so silly. But I just wanted to say “hi” and tell Ben I’m back home now!— Oh! And starting next week, I’ve got a whole bunch of fun activities I learned from the expo to start doing at the library! Hopefully we can get some of the scared kids back now.

Ben I’ll call you later, Emily.

Emily Goodnight, Ben! Night, Sammy!

[click, dial tone]

Sammy Emily Potter, ladies and gents. King Falls Librarian and Ben’s… Friend.

Ben [shyly] Yeah-yeah… Lucky Line 1, you’re on King Falls AM.

Greg Hey, guys! It’s Greg Frickard!

Sammy Hi, Greg! You know, we appreciate you running the ads on the show, sir. It’s so nice to meet youuu… uh, over the phone, of course.

Greg Thanks, Sammy! I— think— we’ve- talked before, and uh, glad to run the spot! Me and Granny Frickard love the show! You should hop on down to the Froggery and we’ll hook ya up!

Sammy I might have to take you up on that offer, Greg!

Greg We’d love to have you! You too, Ben…

Ben Greg, you’re a lifelong King Falls resident… w-we’ve been talking about the crop circles out at –

Greg Oh I know. I’ve been listening, but— I was actually calling about- sssomething else— if that’s okay.

Sammy Uh, yyyeah. Sure thing, Greg. What’s on your mind?

Greg Well, I heard Ben and Miss Potter a second ago and they made a— declaration of friendship? Is that correct?

Sammy Oh! U-uh. Is- this about Emily?

Ben [suspicious] Did you- call before, when Emily was in the studio, Greg?

Greg Uh, noo… *nervous laugh* that must have beeeen… somebody else. But is that true, Ben? Are you and Miss Potter just friends?

Ben [terse] Good friends. *tsk* Close. Friends… Real close.

Greg Huhhh! … Well th- okay! That’s all I needed to know! Thanks a million, buddy.

Sammy Hey— Greg. You didn’t have a comment orr—

Greg Oh, no, no! I j— *chuckles* I don’t know the first thing about crop circles and— what-have-you. Uhh, it’s real interesting and all! but- Miss Potter’s lovely voice just… [sighing dreamily] speaks to me. I always just assumed that Ben and Emily were… “bf” and “gf” respectively, *laughs* but… if that’s not the case, thennn…

Sammy Ben? You okay?

Ben I don’t like putting our— personal lives out there in the public eye…

Greg Well, gee, Ben, I’m— only asking because ifff you’re into friendship with the lovely Miss Potter, and— I’m afraid, uhhh, I might just have to be into courtship. *chuckle* Granny wants to see me married before going into the great By-and-By—

Ben Bye-bye to you too! Greg. Looks like we lost line—

Greg I’m still here, pals! Now about that thing—

Ben [click, dial tone] Line 7, you’re on King Falls AM?

Sammy Did you just hang up onnn—

Ben I would never. LINE 7.

Herschel I’d like to place a complaint, rrright this instant.

Sammy Herschel?

Ben Is everything okay, Mr. Baumgartner?

Herschel Would I call into you nincompoops if everything was hunky-dory?

Ben I guess not… No.

Sammy So, what seems to be the issue, Herschel?

Herschel All this yackin’ about G-D UFOs and crop circles, for starters. Makes my damn d[bleep]k itch.

Sammy Sir! This is—

Herschel Did you call me to tell me what to think, comrade? Or did I call you to talk about an issue?

Sammy Please continue, Mr. Baumgartner…

Herschel Thank you. So, I’m out on the lake tonight— got up brright and early, so I could make sure I got my special spot.

Ben “Got up early”? It’s— just now a little past 2…

Herschel You the sleep police?! Ya little bastard… I thought not.

Ben Sorry, Herschel.

Herschel So I’m trollin, out on the… well. That parts Top Secret, boys. But I’m trollin, so I don’t scare the bigguns away, and those g[bleep]ddamn sons of b[bleep]chin’ rainbow lights start blowin’ through the sky. Looked like Joseph’s Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat[2] was fightin’ that big Jap lizard!

Sammy Godzilla? Please don’t use derogatory wor—

Herschel McCarthy[3] would’a skinned your ass alive, you Red[4] sack ‘a sh[bleep]t! Can I tell my story?!

Sammy Of course, I’m just asking you not to—

Ben [quickly] I’m on the button. Sammy. Heh. Herschel’s gonna Herschel!

Sammy Okay. So, you saw the lights tonight…

Herschel Saw ‘em? Hell. They scared the literal piss out of me. Got a trickle down my Carhartts[5] look like the state of Florida. I’m out here naked as a jaybird! Not a fish in sight.

Ben I’m sorry, did you just reference a musical, Mr. Baumgartner?

Herschel Oh, just ‘cause I like some colorful metaphors, means I can’t be refined, Ben?!

Ben I wasn’t— I didn’t– im-imply— I’m-I’m just saying—

Herschel [softly, for Herschel] Ol’ Mrs. Baumgartner, (god rest your sexy soul, Edna), used to love those hippy-dippy singing plays. And I’d do anything to keep in those pants, fellas.

Sammy Oh, god.

Ben Awww. [pleading] Can we get back to the lights?

Herschel That Edna. Oh, lemme tell ya… Oh! Uh, yeah– the damn lights! Yeah, so, I saw ‘em. What the hell else am I supposed to tell ya about it?!

Sammy Well, you were calling to complain about them, I’m sure.

Herschel That’s right! I’d like to report that no-good drunkard! Cecil Sheffield! Called that cumbersome ass-wart damn near 15 times to come bring me a pair of skivvies to no avail! Avoiding my calls and his duties as the co-winner of this damn boat!

Ben It’s— so late, Mr. Baumgartner. I’m-I’m sure he’s sleeping now.

Herschel You would take up with him!

Sammy W-well, Ben’s just sayin’ that he isn’t avoiding you so much as he’s, you know— probably asleep.

Herschel Sleeping one off! Soggy son of a b[bleep]h. He knows if I ring the special line, it’s a damn emergency.

Ben So, you guys have made up?

Herschel Made up my ass! If he’s gonna be “co”-anything with Herschel F. Baumgartner, that tally-whacker’s gonna have to keep up his end of the bargain.

Sammy To be at your beck and call in case you… soil yourself…

Herschel Don’t be crass!

Ben So, you guys are actually sharing the boat? That’s awesome! I figured you only—

Herschel I ain’t sharin a damn thing with that son of a b[bleep]h! Stop stirrin’ the pot or I’ll make what Charlie did to John McCain look like foreplay, Ben Arnold!

Sammy So, to the point. You’re calling to complain about Cecil because he’s sleeping through your time of need?

Ben But! He is corroborating seeing the lights, Sammy! That’s a big deal.

Herschel Just have an intern or something bring me some britches and stop fiddle fu[bleep]ing fuss! 32 long! I’ll be at Begley’s. He’s probably peering out his window lookin for a damn show… I don’t like beige! [click]

[dial tone]

Sammy You’re on King Falls AM with Sammy and Ben.

Riley Please hold the line for Mayor Grisham.

Sammy This again?

Ben *groans*

Sammy You know, I wonder, do you wake him when we say special keywords, or…?

Riley Mayor? You’re on with Sammy and Ben.

Grisham Sammy. Ben. I hate to rain on your little topic of discussion tonight, but let’s shut it down. It’d be much appreciated.

Ben What??

Sammy The always-fair, Mayor Grisham, folks. Remember this come election time next year.

Grisham Do you think that a public servant should have to call the local “Tom & Joe Chucklehut Show” to ask them not to jeopardize a police investigation?

Sammy Do you ever call Channel 13 and tell them what to report and how? We are a topical late night talk show, Grisham.

Grisham Mayor.

Sammy I didn’t vote for you.

Grisham Fair enough. I don’t expect you to respect anything but your own pathetic grab for ratings. Now, regarding Channel 13—

Ben Sorry, Mayor. Obviously, Sammy is flustered. He wouldn’t have used such a bad example if he was thinking straight—

Grisham The answer to your question, Sammy, is no. I wouldn’t call in and tell a reputable news agency how to do their job. BUT, amazingly enough, I continue to have to ask you to stop your rhetoric— seemingly once a month or so. Interesting, don’t you think?

Ben You do realize the only people that watch Channel 13 are drunks that can’t find the remote and animals left alone with the TV on, right?

Grisham Whatever helps you sleep better, Ben. I can tell you for a fact that, right now, Storm Sanders is probably not working a “local yokel” interview and digging up the muck. He’s reporting on city ordinance 29.44371.

Ben Storm is knee deep in a barrel of backyard bathtub hooch during commercial breaks.

Sammy So, Mayor. What is this ordinance? Ya know, since we aren’t reporting the news to your liking, give us a glimpse into what works for you.

Grisham The add-on to the local YMCA? The new menu over at Rose’s! I’m not paid a handsome salary to do your job.

Sammy Oh, right! I forget you think you can dictate what we report on, for free.

Ben Sammy… they’re destroying the crop circles! That’s the ordinance!

Grisham There’s hope for you yet, Ben. Don’t go down with this ship. I’ll put a good word in for you elsewhere.

Sammy You son of a b[bleep]h! You’re destroying the crop circles?! That could be the only thing that brings Tim Jenson home!

Grisham Don’t bring Tim Jenson into this! The city is paying Libbydale Farms a fair share for their remaining crops! But it is in the public’s best interest to mow down this batch of mischief accordingly! Especially after this broadcast.

Sammy *derisive scoff/laugh* You are despicable.

Grisham These affairs aren’t your business to ramble on about… Do the weather! Talk about traffic! I mean, I filled those potholes! Stop making trouble!

Sammy Freedom of the Press. When your assistant isn’t typing out our every word, maybe have her look it up and tell you all about it.

Grisham I can’t wait to hear about it! And here’s a little phrase for you to look up too! OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE.

Sammy Uh-huh.

Grisham Do you think using your connections to officers of the law to report on “breaking news” is fine and dandy, Stevens?? *sniffs* You are perverting the course of this case. Things— especially ongoing issues— aren’t meant to be talked about until all the facts are out there! And you— *sniffs* IDIOTS are playing on the scene, reporting with your bagel-eating buddy! who happens to be a cop.

Ben *scoffs* ‘s not my buddy.

Sammy BEN.

Ben I’m not throwing you under the bus, Sammy. I just hate Troy.

Grisham So, the moral of the story would be, gents… some things require couth. Some things require kid gloves when handling. And most things don’t need to be aired in the public for ratings and entertainment. A perfect example being how, I’m sure Sheriff Gunderson will handle Deputy Krieghauser on his own, for calling into this joke of a show with police business constantly. Doubt you’ll see that done during a press conference.

Ben Uh… is that… really necessary, sir?

Grisham This show is a breeding ground for incompetence, and you’re now dragging your pals down with you. Straighten Up and Fly Right.

Sammy Troy doesn’t need to be punished for you to make your point, Grisham.

Grisham Out Of My Hands… I’ve already had Riley send my opinions on it over to the good sheriff! Now again, I ask you: pick a different topic of discussion. Maybe one that won’t lead to the continued pain and misery for all those around you. Night night, fellas! [click]

[dial tone]

Sammy [quickly] I’m gonna call Troy.

Ben Umm, uh *nervous stuttering* W-we’ll be back after this— King Falls. We’ll- we’ll take some- calls about uhh… *helpless scoff* I guess we’ll- see…

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] Buford, Wyoming - “America’s Smallest Town”, Buford is mostly just a convenience store/gas station. The population was 1-2 from ~1995 until it was completely abandoned in 2017.

[2] Joseph’s Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat - Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is a musical comedy with lyrics by Tim Rice and music by Andrew Lloyd Webber. The story is based on the "coat of many colors" story of Joseph from the Bible's Book of Genesis.

[3] McCarthy - Joseph Raymond McCarthy was a Republican U.S. Senator from 1947 until his death in 1957. Beginning in 1950, McCarthy became the most visible public face of the “Red Scare”, a period in the United States in which Cold War tensions fueled fears of widespread Communist subversion. He is known for alleging that numerous Communists and Soviet spies and sympathizers had infiltrated the United States federal government, universities, film industry, and elsewhere.

[4] Red - Communist

[5] Carhartts - Carhartt, Inc., is a U.S.-based apparel company founded in 1889. Carhartt is known for its work clothes, such as jackets, coats, overalls, coveralls, vests, shirts, jeans, dungarees, fire-resistant clothing and hunting clothing.

#king falls am #king falls #kfam #sammy stevens #Ben Arnold #kfam transcripts #kfam ep13 #troy krieghauser #cynthia higgenbaum #emily potter #greg frickard #herschel baumgartner #mayor grisham

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

Text

A How artistic are you? I’m not at all. Do you want to go to Africa? I’d love to stay at Giraffe Manor! AC/DC or Aerosmith? Aerosmith.  Do you know what Armenia is?  Yes.

B  What’s your beer of choice (if any)? Blech, none. Do you know the title of Buffalo Springfield’s one-hit wonder? Okay, I didn’t recognize the name so I Googled it and yes, I am familiar with their one hit wonder. I actually wasn’t familiar with the song title either, but after reading the lyrics I quickly realized what song it was. Do you have a brother? (Do you like it that way?) I have two brothers, and yes I love them. Which bank do you use? Not sharing that. C  Which comedian do you most enjoy? I think Kevin Hart is funny. Would you ever live in California? I have all my life. Is it possible/likely that you’ll become a cat lady? *Dog lady, but yes. How many different countries have visited? Just one. D  Do you believe there’s a devil? Yes. But demons maybe? Yes. Does eating dessert often make you feel guilty? Nope. Can you legally drive? I’m definitely old enough to have my license, but I don’t. What have you been diagnosed with (if you don’t mind sharing)? Depression, anxiety, and other physical health stuff. E  How often do you drink energy drinks? I like to drink Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks often.  Where did you live when you were 11 years old? The house next door to where I live now, ha. We had our big move to the house next door to us haha about 10 years ago because our landlords wanted to install new flooring and stuff to our house, but since they had just finished this one they offered for us to just move in here lol. Do you like the actor who played Edward Scissorhands in that movie?  Why not just say Johnny Depp? Anyway, yes, I think he’s a very talented actor. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No, just aftershocks from one. F  When was the last time you saw your father one-on-one? Yesterday. Do you think French is the most beautiful language? I don’t know what I’d say is the most beautiful language. Is Friday your favorite day of the week? No. All the days are the same for me, so meh. Have you listened to Jimi’s song ‘Fire?’ Doesn’t sound familiar. G  Do you have real gold jewelry? No. How often do you watch ‘Gossip Girl’? I never have. Is Google your homepage? Yeah.  Do you like Geico’s commercials? Most of them are annoying. The gecko character is cute, though. H  When did you last feel happy? Uhhh. Do you prefer Hollister, Hot Topic, or H&M? Hot Topic is the only one I shop at now, but I used to shop at the other 2 as well. Did you dress up last Halloween? Nope. I stopped doing that a few years ago. Would you voluntarily watch the History Channel? Yeah and I do if there’s something of interest on. I  Have you ever been on an island? No. I live on one in Animal Crossing, though. ha. Would you be able to locate Indonesia on a globe? I think so. Do you know if Iceland or Greenland has more ice? Greenland. I remember it’s the opposite of their name for some reason.  Did you watch the last presidential inauguration? No. J  Do you enjoy jogging? No. On which instrument could you most easily play ‘Jingle Bells’? I’ve played it on the piano. How much do you know about John Lennon? *shrug* I know some stuff. Do you know how Jell-O is made? I know how to make Jell-O with the mix, but no I don’t know how the mix itself is made. K  Have you tried Krispy Kreme doughnuts? (Was it love at first bite?) Yeah, but no they’re definitely not my favorite. They’re not real donuts to me, they’re just pure sugar.  How many pairs of khaki pants do you own? “Uh, khakis?” ha, if you know, you know. Anyway, I don’t own any.  Have you ever been a fan of the Killers? Yeah. L  Does it bother you when couples are lovey-dovey in public? No, unless they’re having like full on makeout sessions, straddling each other and feeling each other up and whatnot lol. Hand holding/locked arms/arm around each other, hugging, little pecks, and just being playful with each other is cute.  Do you have your own lighter (why or why not)? No. I don’t have a need for one. In how many languages (besides English) can you count to 100? I can in Spanish. What’s your favorite lollipop flavor? Not a lollipop fan. M  Do you believe in miracles (why or why not)? I do because I'm a woman of faith. What do you think of shows like Maury and Jerry Springer? I used to like watching Maury, Jerry Springer was just for laughs.  Do you care that Mars (the candy co.) uses deadly animal testing? I haven’t heard that... I’d have to fact check. How did you form your opinion of marijuana? Based off the research supporting that it has a lot of benefits. I was especially swayed when I saw how it helped cancer patients.

N  How often do you sleep naked? Never. I wouldn’t find that comfortable at all, I very much like being clothed. Do you actually check the Nutrition Facts before eating something? Not usually, but I sometimes will just out of curiosity.  Who is your favorite musical artist/band beginning with ‘N’? Nirvana.  How nerdy are you (in what ways)? I’m socially awkward, for one. I also cared about school and did well, which is often considered nerdy. Also, a book nerd, Star Wars nerd, Marvel and DC movies nerd... I enjoy those things so I don’t care, but they’re deemed “nerdy.” What do you think about olives? Black olives are good, green olives are gross. Are you much of an outdoorsy person? Not at all. The only time I enjoy being outside is when I’m sitting out at the beach. How big of an Oprah fan are you? I don’t really consider myself a fan. How often do you shop online?  Quite often. P  Are you looking forward to your prom? If you already went, how was it? My prom was over a decade ago D: Anyway, I danced with the guy I had a huge crush on at the time, so hey it wasn’t too bad. How are your local policemen? I think they do a pretty good job overall. What is your ideal PB&J sandwich like? Just peanut butter and grape jelly, pretty simple. What do you think of the movie ‘Pineapple Express’? I could not get into that movie at all. Q  How true is the saying, ‘quitters never win and winners never quit’? I mean, can’t say “never”, but the main point from the saying makes sense. Do you prefer Quiznos or Subway and why? I’ve gone to Subway many times, but I think I’ve only been to a Quiznos once or twice. Have you learned the quadratic formula yet? (Do you remember it?) I think I actually remember it. What is the one question you most want to ask someone and who?  I don’t know. R  How many rooms are in your home? 2 bedrooms.  Do you like raspberries?  Nah. What’s one of your best memories from during a rain storm? Hmm. I don’t know, but I just really love that kind of weather.  Have you actually read Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo & Juliet’? Yeah, my freshman year in high school. S  Do you know any Sign Language? I know the alphabet and a few sayings. What is your sleeping schedule generally like? Oh, my sleeping schedule is an absolute joke. How well do you sing? I can’t sing well at all. How often do you listen to 60-70’s music? Now and then. I actually have several songs on my main Spotify playlist from those decades. T What do you think of Twitter? I like being able to post my random thoughts and following certain celebrities and just interesting people for funny and interesting stuff. How much do you value the Ten Commandments? I value them a lot. Are there many trees where you live? Not really.  How much taller/shorter do you wish to be? “I wish I was a little bit taller.” 🎶

U  Where do you usually buy your underwear? Various places. How do you define ‘ugly’? It goes a lot deeper than just the outer appearance. Do you like to shop at Urban Outfitters? I’ve only been to an actual store a couple times and I’ve checked out their website a few times, but I just think they’re ridiculously overpriced. V  Would you like being described as ‘voluptuous’? No one would use that word to describe me.  For listening to music, do you like to crank up the volume or keep it calm? I like it at a reasonable level, I don’t need it blaring. Do you ever watch the annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show? They cancelled that a few years ago, but I never had any interest in watching that.  Would you agree that ‘variety is the spice of life’? Yeah. W  Are you currently on wireless Internet? Yeah, that’s all I have. I haven’t had to connect to a wifi router or whatever with a cord in a very long time. Can you recall memories of learning how to whistle? I still can’t do it. Do you go to White Castle or just vicariously through ‘Harold & Kumar'? I’ve never actually been to one cause they don’t have one anywhere near me (they’re on the east coast, I’m a west coast gal). I’ve only had the the White Castle burgers from the store that you cook in the microwave. I actually like them, but I’m sure the real deal is even better. X  Why did you need your most recent x-ray and what were the results? I had to get a CT Scan a couple years ago. When it comes to ‘xoxo’, do you interpret ‘x’ as the hug or the kiss? It’s hugs and kisses, so the X’s are hugs. What does X stand for in Roman numerals? Can you write the previous number? X is 10, IX is 9. Why do you think xylophones are only popular with young children? That’s true, that is a pretty common baby toy. At least it was when I was little. Also, I played the xylophone in music class in elementary school. I don’t know why that’s a thing with kids. Y  Can you explain the meaning of the yin-yang symbol? Opposite, but complimentary principles. Like, you can’t have good without bad, lightness without darkness, etc. It’s about balance. Do people more often mistake you as being younger or older than you are? Younger. Did you know that yawning is contagious? Yeah. Would you like a bottle of Yoo-Hoo or it’s not really your thing? I actually like Yoo-Hoo, but I prefer it in the little carton or whatever with the straw (kinda like a Capri Sun, but it’s a box carton). It’s the perfect size, not too much. The strawberry one is my favorite. I haven’t had one in a long time, though. Z  How many places’ zip codes do you know by heart? Uhh, not many. What comes to mind when I say ‘Zero to Hero’? Disney’s Hercules movie.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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arththy · 4 years

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thanks marketing seminar series

For all intents and purposes, I did not fully enter this program with the idea that going into marketing would be

A) Interesting; or,

B) Fun

I just wanted a job, and I regretted my undergrad since I would have to get a master's to get anywhere in the field.

I never would’ve expected that marketing would be so nuanced. I used to believe it was limited to the scope of advertising but now I know so much more. Learning from industry professionals and gaining their personal insights of the field made me feel reassured that no matter what kind of marketing I end up in, I’ll succeed if I am engaged in my work.

I don’t think I’ll ever be as passionate about mass marketing as Matthew was, but I don’t think that means I’ll be bad at marketing. Maybe I’ll take an approach similar to Cindy and work my way up towards a part of marketing where I will find my place and feel confident. Or like Katherine and take a higher interest in utilizing data to make judgement calls. Even now, I don’t think I’ll be in the realm of research like Paige, but that doesn’t mean it’s crossed off my list of opportunities forever; I’m open to revisiting that field if I feel bored in my career. Then again, marketing isn’t the long term goal, so who’s to say where I’ll end up.

The most important thing I learned is that I need to constantly reflect to grow. I think it’s an important life lesson in general. Every person who came in kept mentioning how in order to be better with a successful campaign or strategy, they had to look back and see what they did right and what missed. I’m pretty anxious so reviewing my work makes me a little uncomfortable. But I need to look at my mistakes so I can do better, even if it is hard. It’s like that quote I see on RedBubble all the time, “grow through what you go through”.

I won’t lie, I truly did not want to build a relationship or network with anyone who came to class. Honestly, it’s partially due to my own gripe with networking, but also because it would be disingenuous to talk to someone for the sake of me adding them to my network. If I felt a real bond/connection/interest with these people, then maybe I would’ve made the effort. But I honestly didn’t. Part of this may stem from the fact that I don’t see myself in marketing forever, so I rather network with people who may lead me to the career I want to have later in life.

Networking Tips!

Start with an icebreaker, a non-sequitur that isn’t directly related to business

Ease into a conversation about connecting with them

Ask a lot of questions and be an engaged listener

Be critical of who you choose to connect with, don’t force it if it doesn’t feel natural

I go to a lot of events in the arts and culture industry or global affairs. My friends are in these circles and I feel more at home in these environments. I still feel a disconnect with myself and marketing. I’m not sure how to bridge the gap yet, but making friends in the field has helped. Marketing feels like a cog in the capitalist machine, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be content playing along in a system that profits over exploiting people, their data and their vulnerabilities.

I don’t think I’ve ever used LinkedIn as much as I did during this entire program. I even kept recommending the platform to my friends who were looking for jobs. A lot of them felt that other job boards posted scams, but I found that LinkedIn was quite credible. The information readily available to me about companies and people was astounding.

The only downfall of LinkedIn that I found is the number of people spending time on the platform to clap for big business and billionaires. Obviously, this site is built to highlight and shine accomplishments and positive qualities. Despite how much I voice my disappointment in my undergrad, I love and appreciate how much I learned and the critical analytical skills I have developed. I can’t just take these companies showing off on face-value; I need to do full in-depth research.

I once attended a job fair event that had an engineering consultancy company, who proceeded to talk at length about their work for charities and helping ‘the poor’. But this company was also accused of harming local villages in their oil drilling in South American countries they were working in, displacing some residents during their construction. It was difficult to listen to them say how wonderful of a company they were and all the people who were adoring this company for their work.

I’m not going to drink some stranger’s Kool-Aid no matter how much they say it’s delicious. I need to know what’s really in there.

What's next for me?

I’ll be doing my co-op with the government over the summer (if it happens). I signed my contract already so hopefully the pandemic doesn’t nullify my position.

I didn’t network to get this position. I think I secured this position from the interview skills I learned during my work prep course and my own intelligence. I answered the questions with honesty and gave a fair description of my work ethic and behaviour. During the test portion of my interview, I tried my best. But I don’t know who the other candidates were, and I don’t know their skill set, so I won’t know with 100% certainty what got me the job.

One thing I am looking forward to is that apparently, every person who has worked this position for their co-op secured a full-time job somewhere else with the help of my future boss. They told me they really pride themselves on helping their co-op students secure a job and want to see them be successful. I’m very grateful and fortunate for being supported by such an environment. I look forward to working with them.

TLDR;

When I started this program, I wasn’t sure if I would enjoy marketing and do this long-term. But now, from all that I’ve learned from industry professionals and connecting with certain people during my job hunt, I know now that marketing is only a stepping stone for me and my career.

#this is for school so don't reblog #PLEASE DO NOT

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maandags · 5 years

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Eidolon (Angel!Keith x Demon! reader) {part iii}

something resembling peace n quiet (ish) b4 the real shitstorm yeet

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Summary: Keith is an angel, and he’s completed mission after mission for the Upper Hand, the organisation controlling all of the Above. He’s only failed a mission once: when he was assigned to kill you, a surprisingly charismatic demon. He roamed Earth–Middle Ground–for years before he was caught by the Upper Hand again, and things quickly go south.

Word count: 6.3K

Genre: Angst

Notes: ft witch!Coran bc he doesnt get enough love -- masterlist -- {previous} -- {next} --

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small-town boy in a big arcade

i got addicted to a losing game

~ Arcade, Duncan Laurence

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His fever isn't going down.

It's been five days and his fever just won't go down.

He's passed out on your couch, waking up occasionally so you can feed him and give him water to drink. Sometimes you have to shake him for minutes at a time just so he wakes up. You tried everything you knew, but the medicine you give him has no effect and the medicine you probably need is nowhere at your disposal.

It's safe to say you have no clue how to proceed and also are frustrated: you're risking everything here. You're risking being found by everything you have been outrunning for years and years. The combined auras of an angel and a demon are the closest thing to a signal flare you know.

And he just might die, and it will all have been for nothing, and you might still be located by Management and you would have to move. Quite bittersweet, you think wryly.

So Keith dying isn't an option. That much is clear. But as you sit in your armchair and glare at him, arms wrapped around the knees you pulled up to your chest, you have no idea as to how you're going to stop it from happening.

You clumsily wrapped him in a blanket when he collapsed on your couch. He's kicked it off since, and it lies in a bundle at his feet. His skin is ashy and pale and sweaty and his hair sticks to his forehead.

And his fucking fever isn't going down.

Usually you'd go straight to a doctor if any of your human friends were to contract a fever this stubborn–but you suspected bringing a dying angel to the average doctor won't do much good except frighten the poor sod to death. He looks like Death, you remark. What with his black wings and overall dark aesthetic, which is quite rare for an angel to have. You think, at least. It's not like you've met lots of them.

You sigh, filling a glass of water and holding it to his lips. He reacts almost subconsciously–he's not quite all there, but he's gulping the water down with gusto and you can only pray to the Dark Below that he'll hold it down, though that did seem to get better the last day or so.

The first two days were a nightmare. Keith tossed and turned and held nothing down, his stomach too upset. You had him spend his second night in your bathtub because he puked all over your couch. When he was asleep (which was most of the time) he had nightmares and whimpered constantly, and when he was awake he had hallucinations, his eyes clouded over. He even tried to attack you at one point ('tried' being the keyword here–he took a most pathetic swing at your face and cried when you dodged it easily).

If you had any common sense, you would have kicked him out long ago–hell, if you had any common sense, you never even would have considered taking him in.

Yet he is here. And you are here. And you don't exactly know how to feel about that.

Half the time you wish he'd just die already so you could be done at least with all of this. The next moment you feel horribly guilty and internally yell at yourself for thinking that way–because you made this choice. You decided to help him, and you should go through with it, even if it meant to be woken up at three in the morning because Keith was wailing again.

You brush your fingers across his forehead, hoping against better knowledge his fever had gone down, but he's still burning up. He's not tossing and turning anymore, he's not throwing up everywhere anymore. The last time he had a nightmare you actually noticed was more than a day ago. His breaths are shallow and irregular, and while you're no doctor, you know that's never a good sign.

You'd almost gotten used to having him in your apartment, and now you barely even notice he's here.

You've been on some extensive phone calls with Allura since Keith flopped into your life (which mostly consist of you yelling and Allura listening, occasionally muttering "go off, sis" into the horn) and you were itching for one now. You pull out your phone. Allura picks up on the third ring.

"Y/N, love, I have time for like, maybe a ten minute rant, because I'm at work and even though it's my break time my co-workers are giving me huge side-eyes and I still have four hours to go–"

"That's okay," you say quickly. "I'm fine, actually. No rants."

Allura pauses. "Sure about that?"

"Positive. I just had a question." You decide to throw in your favourite excuse whenever you have a weird question. As a nurse and your friend, Allura is often your first choice if you need to fact-check anything health-related."I'm writing this story..."

"Ah," Allura says. "Of course. Shoot."

You feel kind of bad for lying to her. But then again, telling the truth isn't really an option here, is it? "What does one do to break a fever that's been going strong for, say, five days, and literally no kind of aspirin is working and you can't take them to a doctor?"

"Huh. Well. All you can really do without, like, medical intervention, is wait, really. Yes, Jane, I'll be done in a minute. Have them sweat it out. Keep hydrated, remove excess layers of clothing, all that jazz. How high of a fever are we talking?"

"Um..." You glance at the thermometer on the coffee table. You'd taken his temperature just before calling Allura, to see if there was any change. Spoiler alert, there wasn't. "41.2 degrees Celcius."

Allura whistles. "For an adult? 'Cause if this is a kid, they have a problem."

"No, no, it's an adult."

"Okay. Well. You know, fevers aren't inherently bad for you. It's actually a way for the body to, like, kill heat-sensitive bacteria and viruses. So it's actually a good thing. Honestly I'm gonna just advise your character to stay in bed and drink water and sit in front of a fan. They should be fine."

You pucker your lips, poking Keith's arm with your toe. He doesn't move. "All right."

"You sound kind of unsure," says Allura, a tinge of concern to her voice. A pause. "Certain this is a fictional character?"

You bite back a curse. "Well. You know. I was–I was just curious."

Allura sighs. You imagine her rubbing the back of her neck as she shakes out her legs. "You know... as a medical professional–" the sarcasm drips from her voice– "I'm not really supposed to, like, recommend these types of methods to people because generally everyone thinks they're bullshit, but..." She hesitates. "My uncle Coran has this shop. He sells lots of weird, like, plants and crystals and crap like that. God, I can't believe I'm saying this. He might be able to help. Here's the address."

You lurch over to your desk and snatch a pencil and a post-it block, scribbling down the address she dictates. "Thanks, Allura."

"You are very welcome, dearest, but I really need to get back to work now. Bye."

"Bye."

You stare at the note for a while after Allura hung up. You don't exactly know the place, but a quick Google search helps you pinpoint it. It's not even that far, maybe a 20 minute walk. But something makes you feel uncomfortable about it.

He sells lots of weird, like, plants and crystals and crap like that.

It definitely sounds like something you should be a bit suspicious of. Plants and crystals. Hm.

But then again, you think as you cast another look at Keith who hasn't moved in over an hour, chest rising and falling with uneven breaths, it's not like you have many other options.

Allura said to wait it out. But maybe fevers aren't as harmless on angels as they are on humans. Maybe waiting it out will kill him, and you will have to live with it knowing that you did nothing to stop it.

Grumbling through gritted teeth, you yank your jacket from its hanger, write out a quick note for Keith in case he wakes up (he probably won't, but just in case) and dash out the door.

It takes you surprisingly long to find the place.

What was a 20 minute walk turned to a 30 minute walk, then to an hour long walk. You zoom in on your phone's map, narrowing your eyes and combing through every little alley you passed, gnashing your teeth. No matter how hard you look, the shop simply doesn't seem to exist anywhere but on the map. Is this Allura's idea of a prank?

But that's not like her, you remind yourself. And somehow, the fact that you can't seem to reach the place only makes you want to find it more. So you grit your teeth and clench the note with the address (that you just can't seem to memorize, no matter how hard you try) in your fist and march on.

You round a corner and slam into a tall and lanky body.

You yelp, arms flying out to regain your balance. The person in front of you gives a surprised hum–they don't seem to be fazed at all. You look up, prepared to give them a scolding about how they've got to watch where they're fucking going and blink, all words dying in your throat.

"You okay, kiddo?" says the most eccentric-looking man you've ever seen.

"Uh..." you give your head a shake, trying not to stare at the man's bright orange hair and moustache, or the fact that he's dressed like one of those fortune tellers out of fantasy stories, complete with the huge ornate earrings and everything. "Yeah. Fine. Thanks."

The man's light eyes narrow ever so slightly, and you make a mental note to not let his appearance deceive you: you have the feeling he's much smarter than he looks. "Were you looking for something?"

You clamp your mouth shut, running a hand through your hair. "Hm. Actually. Yes." You frown, wondering if this is a good idea, but if anyone would know where Coran's shop is–the shop selling weird crystals and plants and crap like that–this dude would be it. You hold up the crumpled note. "Do you know where this place is?"

The man takes one look at the writing and smiles, a wide and slightly unhinged grin that has you almost instantly regretting your choice. "Well, I sure would hope I know where my own shop is!"

You try and resist the urge to flinch. "Oh, really?" you squeak, shrinking back. It's not a very demon-like thing to do, you think at the very back of your mind, but this guy looks like he could give even the scariest entities of the Below a run for their money. "Neat."

The man–who you assume is Coran–grins even wider and whips an arm around your shoulders. "Well, then! Let's not beat around the bush any longer!" He has an accent you can't place. It fits him, strangely. Everything about the guy is strange.

He whirls around, dragging you with him, and walks exactly three steps before slamming open the door to the shop on the corner. You frown, ducking out from under his arm and giving him a suspicious glare. "What is this? I've passed this shop at least five times." You glance up at the sign and do a double take. Where had previously hung a sad wooden board announcing a tailor's shop hangs now a weirdly pretty sign that seems to be made out of plants. Vines twisting to and fro and entwining and overlapping, fluorescent yellow-and-blue flowers you have never seen before dropping from it in clumps. It sways slightly in the air. There is no wind.

All the hairs stand up at the back of your neck and your fists clench at your sides.

"Maybe you weren't looking hard enough," comes Coran's amused voice from behind you. You spin on your heels, narrowing your eyes at him. You're not unfamiliar with these kinds of experiences–the supernatural, the unsettling, the technically-impossible–yet Coran manages to throw you off in a way nothing really has before.

The atmosphere around you has dimmed, the sole source of light the doorway and the glowing flowers dangling from the sign. You're not in the alley you were in not one minute ago anymore. Coran raises an eyebrow and cocks his head, and you notice how different he looks in this new environment. He fits here perfectly. The slight curl of his lips says, Well? What are you waiting for?

You think of Keith. How he would react if he were in this situation. If the roles were reversed and you were the one dying on his sofa. You push the door open and march into the shop.

You almost slam directly into a tree.

"Careful, careful," says Coran quickly as he grabs your elbow. He slips past you and leads you into his shop that looks like no other shop you've ever seen.

Shelves are stacked with pots and vials and little baggies, all propped one on top of the other. It looks extremely unstable. You resist the urge to pluck out one jar from the bottom and see if everything tumbles down.

Every price tag is hand-written, and when you take a closer look a chill runs down your spine. One never-before shared secret. Three childhood memories. none of the prices ask for actual money, which now seems pretty useless and weighs down the wallet in your pocket. One particular tag says Your deepest fear. How dramatic.

Every plant seems to glow, for some reason. You notice more of those fluorescent yellow-and-blue flowers like the ones hanging from the sign outside, and flowers that look similar but in different colours. There are plants that remind you of grapevines, snaking around trees and shelves and tangling themselves around every support they can find. Clusters of small transparent bells float from the branches, even smaller flicks of light trapped inside them. You squint at one of them, grabbing it out of the air and studying it closely. Something is fluttering inside of the little sphere. A firefly, maybe. Maybe. When you release it, it zips back to its original spot among the other glowing bubbles.

Coran plucks a few dead leaves from a tree stump partially hidden from view by a huge black-and-white striped candle. He grinds the leaves to dust in the palm of his hand and drops them in the candle's flame. It glows bright green for a moment, then a comforting scent begins to spread through the air. You inhale deeply out of reflex. It smells like nothing you've ever smelled before, vaguely familiar scents all mushed into one; your favourite hot chocolate (with a hint of caramel), Allura's fruity conditioner, the animal shampoo you use on the dogs at the shelter. The air when it's just stopped raining. Towels, fresh out of the dryer.

You blink yourself back to reality with a sharp jerk of your head. Coran is already moving on to the very back of the shop and you hurry to catch up with him, ducking to avoid the arms of a rather sad-looking ragdoll as they reach for you. "Hey, hey–who are you?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Coran."

"Yes, I know that, but like–" you gesture vaguely to the general space around you– "who are you?"

Coran thinks about that for a moment, one finger pressed to the side of his nose. "A hobbyist," he decides.

"Right." You take a step back, eyeing the dark and slimy substance shlorping across the floor towards your feet suspiciously. It shrinks back beneath your glare. "What are those hobbies, exactly?"

"You know," says Coran, waving his arms around, "plants. Medicine. The occasional cursed artifact. Just regular stuff like that."

"Regular stuff like that," you echo. Caws sound from above you. When you look up, you spot a bird slightly hidden in the shadows of the tree in which it is perked (was that tree this big before?), glowing red eyes fixated on yours. You raise an eyebrow at it, cocking your head. It mirrors you, feathers ruffling and swooping from one side of its head to the other. It screams again, then spreads its wings and climbs up the tree with a speed you didn't expect. Literally climbs: there are claws on the joints of its wings that it uses to hack into the tree's bark. You brush a bit of dust off your shoulder and continue walking.

Stepping over the puddle of dark slime, you follow Coran even further into the shop. "You said you do medicine," you shout after him. "I need medicine to save my–" The words hitch in your throat. What is Keith to you? An acquaintance? An enemy? A guest? "My friend," you settle on.

Coran throws you a look over his shoulder, throwing off his ornate blue coat and suspending it in the air where it floats obediently beside him. He plants a hand on a bony hip. "Your friend," he repeats, a glint in his eyes you don't trust at all.

"Yeah." He's not getting more out of you, you assure yourself. That's it.

Coran watches you for a moment. "Hm." He turns around and starts rummaging through the shelves packed with jars and boxes and bottles, pulling out a number that all look the same to you, but evidently Coran knows exactly what he's doing. Occasionally he asks you questions.

"Reasonably high fever, is that right?"

"Yes."

He fumbles for a mortar and dumps a clump of brown-reddish leaves in it.

"Hallucinations? Nightmares? Inexplicable bouts of extreme hunger?"

"Yes, yes, and... no? Not that I know of?"

Humming, he adds a few drops of a clear liquid and a pinch of powder from a leather pouch. The mixture starts to sizzle and you eye it cautiously. Its colour shifts from a muddy purple to a darker blue. Coran whistles through his teeth, narrowing his eyes at the many pots around him as he searches for the next ingredient. His eyes focus on something behind you and he gestures with his pestle. "Grab that round orange pot for me, will you."

You turn. The pot in question is small and kind of hard to spot, and you have to twist your arm in strange shapes to reach it from where it's blocked by other plants and rocks. It's dusty and surprisingly heavy, and when you turn it over there's a crudely painted picture of a skull on the lid. Your head snaps up and your fingers tighten around the pot.

Coran rolls his eyes. "I didn't have any other pot to put it in. I'm not gonna murder your friend."

You hand the pot over to him reluctantly, keeping a close eye on whatever it is he's doing. Inside is a reddish-brown paste, and Coran scoops two heavy spoonfuls out and mixes it into the blue mixture. It becomes a pleasant shade of violet. He grabs a round marble-like thing from a vase filled with similar spheres and chucks it into a fire pit at your feet. Flames burst to life, searing hot and sending you stumbling back from the wave of pure heat that comes rolling over you. Coran puts a lid on the mortar and drops it into the fire.

"So, that's gotta bake for a minute," he says cheerily, spinning around and clapping his hands. He snaps his fingers, and immediately vines begin writhing and entwining until a stool has formed. He plops down, facing you. "You have questions. Ask them. Go on."

"Will you answer them?"

he flashes that wicked grin of his. "Maybe."

You grit your teeth, staring into the flames roaring in their pit. The longer you look at them, the wilder they grow. Agitated.

"Oh, dear, don't look at them. They don't like being watched."

Your gaze snaps back to him. "How did you know what's wrong with my friend?"

"I didn't. I guessed," he adds with an eyeroll when you narrow your eyes at him. "It's easier to guess than you might think. When customers are especially preoccupied with something I can usually read it right off of them. You were no different."

"Right." You pause, not sure which of the hundred and forty questions swirling through your mind to ask next. "What if the medicine doesn't work? Can I come back?"

"It'll work."

"But if it doesn't–"

"Are you doubting my abilities?"

"What? No, but–"

"It'll work."

His tone makes it clear there's no room for discussion. At the sight of his dangerously glinting eyes (or maybe they're just reflecting the flickering flames) you decide to veer onto a safer topic. "Can everyone get into your shop? Why couldn't I find it until you showed me?"

Coran slouches a bit in his throne of vines (it's got a back and armrests now, too, and it's growing those little glowing grapes) and considers the question. "Everyone can technically get into the shop," he says slowly, as if carefully choosing his words, "but not everyone will. It's not hidden, exactly–not to the people who aren't looking."

That confuses you. "So you're saying one won't be able to find the shop if they're actively looking for it?"

"Sort of."

"Does that mean that the people who do find it aren't looking for it in the first place?"

"I guess so? Man, kid, you're asking difficult questions."

"I'm curious." You fold your arms, tucking your chin down to your chest. "And that makes no sense anyway because I found it and I was looking for it. So."

"Yeah, but you didn't find it until you actually ran into me and I showed you." Coran leaps up and stretches out his lanky limbs. "So, we still have a bit of time left before that's ready. Do you want to arrange payment now?"

Caution crept into your veins as you remember the strange price tags you saw upon entering the store. But you're not getting this medicine for free, you remind yourself. Keith won't get better by himself. The price was the price and you're willing to pay it. So you nod.

Coran grabs a box. He opens it, and inside are the last things you expected: stacks of paper, each one scribbled upon with minute precision, every sheet adorned with different handwriting. He hands you a blank sheet: it's about the size of a business card, yellowish-white and kind of grainy to the touch. It reminds you of parchment.

He also hands you a pen. It looks like a regular ballpoint pen, and when you shoot him a questioning look–you had expected at least, like, a quill with purple ink or something–he shrugs. "They're cheap. And easy to charm."

Right. You roll your eyes. "So what's the price?"

His eyes are just a little bit too shiny. "What do you want most?"

You sigh, long and drawn out. Your grip on the pen tightens ever so slightly. "Really? The way too overused one?"

Coran shrugs again, gesturing to the blank card in front of you. "It's overused for a reason, kid. It just happens to work really well."

You clench your jaw, tapping the pen against the wooden surface of the table, forcing yourself to think about the question in a serious manner.

What do you want most?

You rack your brain for an answer, puckering your lips. There are a lot of things you want. You want Allura to be safe and happy. She's got a demon for a friend, for fuck's sake. You want to not have to worry every day about Management finally tracking you down and locking you up in the Below. To feel safe.

You bring the point of the pen down to the paper and start writing, frowning when the ink doesn't appear. You go over the lines a few times, even scribble a bunch of lines in a corner to get the pen to work, but to no avail. The ink stubbornly refuses to stain your piece of parchment.

"Your pen doesn't work," you say, irritated.

Coran casts you a knowing smile. "It works just fine. Try again."

You try again. No results. You throw down the pen, letting your head drop and taking a deep breath as you lean against the desk, because you know exactly where this is going. You have experience with these kinds of enchanted objects. You chew on the inside of your cheek, glaring at the pen as if it personally murdered your firstborn.

It wants the truth.

And you refuse. You refuse to give it what it wants because it's ridiculous. Absolutely and utterly ridiculous.

But this is the price. This is the price you told yourself you would pay no matter what.

A deep breath. One more.

You snatch up the pen, gripping it so tightly your knuckles go white, and press it down onto the paper. Immediately the ink flows out, letting you write your re-evaluated answer. It almost seems to sneer at you and when you throw the pen down, handing the card to a way too smug-looking Coran, you refuse to look him in the eye.

The medicine is ready.

Coran pulls it out of the fire using tongs (because it might be magical fire, but it's still fire, and it's generally not a good idea to stick your hand in fire) and drops it in a tub of water you're sure wasn't there before. A moment later he pulls it out and removes the lid.

The paste has transformed itself into a rock-hard ball about the size of a large pill, perfectly round and kind of rough and sandy at the surface, and when Coran hands it to you it's almost freezing to the touch. It startles you so much that you almost drop it.

"Smash it to bits and put the shards in this here baggie–" he hands you what looks like a tea filter– "and let it hang in a glass of cold water for a while. When the thingie's drained of its colour and goes clear and the water has turned bright blue you make sure he drinks the whole thing before it goes warm, yeah? That's very important. He's gotta drink it right away, and he's gotta drink the whole thing. It might not work as well if he doesn't drink the whole thing."

The fact that Coran refers to the pill as "the thingie" makes you more than a bit uncomfortable, but you decide to take his word for it, because what other choice do you have?

"Right." You turn to leave, when one more thing pops into your mind. "Actually," you face him again, "I have one more question."

Coran sighs. "You have a lot of questions."

You ignore him. "How do you know Allura? Or, rather, how does Allura know you? She's the one that gave me your address in the first place," you explain. "She's my friend."

To your surprise, Coran smiles–a genuine smile this time, where his eyes crinkle in the corners, not the manic grin he's shown up till now. "I knew her father very well. I've watched her grow up. She knows she can always knock on my door."

It doesn't make much sense–what business would Allura's dad, world-famous scientist, have with this man? You decided to give it the benefit of the doubt. "How much does she know? About all this?"

"I think she knows, deep down. I don't know how much she believes. What she tells herself is real, and what isn't."

You hesitate. "Does she know about me? What I am, I mean?"

Coran heaves an exasperated sigh. "Yeesh, kid. How am I supposed to know that? I didn't even know who you were up till now!" But you get the feeling he's lying. "Now get going. Go on." He starts shooing you towards the door, gently pushing you through the shop.

You blink in surprise, too stunned to do anything but follow suit. "Wait," you stammer. "Wait, I have more questions! Will I be able to come back?"

But Coran waves you off, giving you nothing but a smile and a "Bye-bye!"

You stumble over the threshold, the pill and its baggie in your clenched fist. Cold renders your fingers almost numb, and you open them, exposing the pill to the night air. White smoke curls up from it, and you turn it over to your other hand, wincing as you rub your fingers to get a bit of warmth in them again. It's like you're holding a hailstone.

When you look up, you're disoriented by the bright lights from street lamps around you, and the fact that you're not in the same alley you were in before you entered Coran's shop. It's not even the same block. You make a full turn, dazed, before you recognise the little grocery store on the corner of the street: it's the store where you do most of your shopping. It's right across from your apartment building. Coran deposited you as close as he could to your home.

You push open the door to your apartment with your shoulder, icy pill in one hand and two bottles of chocolate milk and scotch whisky in the other, letting exhaustion creeping into your muscles as soon as you enter the familiar environment. One look to your sofa confirms Keith has barely moved over the hours you were gone. The note and the glass of water you left for him sit untouched on the coffee table.

You make your way to the kitchen and set down the bottles, grabbing a small tray on which you drop the pill. Smash it to bits, said Coran. The back end of a kitchen knife does the job just fine. To your surprise, the pill shatters immediately, shards flying everywhere. You curse, sweeping them all up and dropping them into the tea filter and filling a glass with cold water. As soon as you hang the bag in the glass, blue drips out of it in wisps, slowly tinting the water a cool blue colour. You drop onto a kitchen chair and watch with your chin in your hands, the droplets of blue seeping from the bag mesmerising.

When the water doesn't seem to get any bluer, you peek into the bag. The shards are completely colourless, now resembling bits of clear glass more than anything else. You carefully pick up the glass, hissing through your teeth at the coldness of it.

Keith is still fast asleep, shivering. He's thin, you notice. You can see his ribs through his shirt. Setting the glass down on the coffee table, you try gently nudging him awake. He doesn't respond.

"Come on," you grumble, grabbing his face and tapping his cheek. "Wake up!" Your stomach twists at the thought that he might not wake up in time. The medicine will have warmed up. You should have woken him before preparing it! "Please," you whisper, swallowing back the lump in your throat. "Don't let this have been for nothing. Come on. Wake up, dammit!"

He groans under your touch. You breathe out a shaky sigh of relief as you coerce him into sitting up. "Don't you fucking dare fall asleep again." He looks at you groggily.

You raise the glass to his chapped lips. "Drink up."

He takes a sip and flinches, bursting into coughs. "Cold," he manages. You almost wince at how weak his voice sounds–barely a whisper. He'll get better, you remind yourself. He just has to drink this and he'll get better.

"I know," you mutter, nudging the glass to his lips again. "Drink it. It'll make you feel better."

He eyes you suspiciously but obliges, squeezing his eyes shut as he gulps down the contents of the glass. He shivers, smacking his lips when it's empty and you put it on the floor. "Ah. Gross." But as he shifts, you can already see the colour return to his cheeks.

"Rest," you say, brushing strands of hair away from his forehead. "You'll feel better in the morning." Your voice is shaky and your hands tremble as you bring the glass back to the kitchen and thoroughly wash it, using about a quarter of the bottle of dish soap, running it under the hot water until the stubborn cold is completely gone.

You're tired. You don't even have the energy to shower, so you brush your teeth and crumple into bed, only taking off your boots and trousers. You keep your socks on and pull the comforter tighter around you. You're cold.

As you turn to face the wall, you think back to Coran's stupid enchanted pen. Wondering if you've made a mistake. The words you ended up writing down looping through your mind, over and over again, lighting up in front of you whenever you close your eyes. What do you want most?

I want to be safe from Management, was your first answer. The answer the pen hadn't let you write down. And it was what you wanted most–or at least what you wanted most until Keith had shown up on your doorstep just over a week ago.

What do you want most?

You drift off to sleep, the question nagging at the back of your mind.

You jolt awake at the crash, bolting up from your bed and racing for the kitchen, where the sound had come from. In your hand is the knife you keep in your nightstand. Your knuckles are white around the hilt. You slam a hand on the light switch, and the person bent over and hidden behind your fridge hits their head and yells in pain, and you brandish your knife and scream at them to Stay back!

"It's just me! Y/N!" Keith says, holding up his hands above his head.

You huff out a breath, letting the knife drop to your side. "Keith?"

He nods, blinking and squinting against the bright light. You're only barely over the shock of seeing him up and about, yet you can't help but notice how thin he looks and how weary and sunken his eyes are. His eyes keep flicking back to the knife still in your hand, and you quickly snap it shut, slipping it in the pocket of your sweatpants.

"So I take it you're feeling better?"

He nods again. "I'm hungry," he says. His voice isn't quite back to normal–it's still quite hoarse from not having used it in over five days–but you suspect it won't take very long. "Sorry for startling you. I'll go back to sleep."

You grab his arm before he can walk past you. "Nonsense. You've slept for five days straight. I'm hungry too, anyway. I can order takeout?"

He gives you a tentative smile. "That'd be great."

And that's how you end up sitting in your brightly lit kitchen at four in the morning, eating out of cardboard Chinese takeout boxes, with an angel whose life you saved. His wings are completely concealed now and don't bother him when he sits in a chair or lies down. While neither of you talks much, you both sneak glances when you think the other isn't looking.

What do you want most?

He looks nervous, and even though he insists he's not tired you can tell he's fighting against the weight of his eyelids, his movements droopy and slow, as if he's moving through layers of syrup. When he almost drops his fork (at four A.M. you're allowed to eat Chinese with a fork) out of exhaustion, you nudge his leg with your foot under the table.

"Go back to sleep."

"I'm fine. I'm still hungry."

"You can eat tomorrow. You're barely able to hold yourself upright, idiot."

He sighs but pushes his chair back and stands up. His knees immediately buckle beneath him, and you shoot out of your chair and only just manage to catch him before he drops to the ground. "All right, okay. There we go. I got you."

"Not feeling as good as I thought," Keith mutters into your shoulder as you practically drag him to the sofa.

"Evidently."

You tuck him in (it seems like such a childish gesture–but curled up like that, looking thin and fragile, Keith reminds you of a small kid and it just feels like the right thing to do) and resist the weird urge to plant a kiss on his forehead. You settle for a somewhat awkward pat on the shoulder.

You stick the leftover food in the fridge and make your way back to your own room. You're still kind of cold, so you keep the sweatpants and sweatshirt on, bringing the knife out of your pocket and setting it back on your nightstand before climbing into bed.

The buzzing of the city outside of your window keeps you up for hours as you toss and turn. Feelings you don't know what to make of churn through you. Relief at the fact that the medicine seems to be working. Fear, because you don't really know how to proceed now. A demon saving an angel's life–that one's pretty much unheard of, you think bitterly.

Oh, if Management were to find out... not only would your fate be settled, you would have signed Keith's death warrant along with it. The comforter bunches in your clenched fists and you twist around, shutting your eyes resolutely.

What do you want most?

#keith x reader #voltron keith x reader #voltron keith #voltron keith kogane #voltron keith kogane x reader #keith voltron #keith voltron x reader #vld keith x reader #vld keith kogane #vld keith #vld keith kogane x reader #keith vld #keith vld x reader #keith kogane vld x reader #voltron fic #keith fic #keith voltron fic #allura vld #allura voltron

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unofficialkfamtranscripts · 4 years

Text

King Falls AM - Episode 5: Night of the Living Dread

View on Google Docs

Summary: July 1, 2015 - Sammy & Ben learn of some breaking news regarding the Lake Hatchenhaw John Doe, but not everyone is as pleased as the broadcast duo.

[Podcast intro music]

Announcer Dear listeners, please note that the following program may contain views that do not reflect that of King Falls AM, its management, or its subsidiaries. Listener discretion is advised.

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy You’re listening to King Falls AM, that’s 660 on the radio dial. I’m your host, Sammy Stevens, and as always we are joined by producer and co-host extraordinaire, Ben Arnold.

Ben [trying not to be amused] You’re so- you’re so happy, aren’t you? You’re a child. Getting so giddy over that message.

Sammy Listening to a warning before a radio broadcast I’m on has literally been on the bucket list for a long time. Thanks Merv!

Ben *laughter* Ridiculous. A glutton for punishment.

Sammy What can I say? I enjoy a nice game of hard ball! Uh, y’know, but enough about what Merv doesn’t want you to hear, let’s talk about what he does want you to hear. And what do we have cooking tonight, Ben?

Ben Dude, it’s stacked alright? Stacked. We’ve got the- lovely Miss Emily Potter from the King Falls Library giving us her picks for enlightened summer reading.

Sammy Terrific! We always love speaking with Emily!

Ben You and me both.

Sammy I said “we,” Ben.

Ben Uh, I know. I- *breathes in* [stilted] I- We-We-uh, We’ve got some really cool news! here. We-we are announcing the line-up for the first annual King Falls Ambient Music Festival. That’s coming up the second hour.

Sammy Wait a second. The King Falls Ambient Music Festival? Is this town even big enough for a festival?

Ben Oh yeah! It’s like Coachella[1] but for hipsters that just want to relax. It’s all about “setting the mood.”

Sammy You know, I’m wondering if they’re gonna make it to a second annual.

Ben And then, um, [reluctant and slipping into mumbling] opening up the show we-we’ve got the- doctor *mumbling*

Sammy I-I’m sorry, Ben, what was that? You’re trailing off, buddy.

Ben We have that umm, *sniffs, lets out breath* one… guy. You know that- fo- w- talking about that *deep breath* one thing—

Sammy [trying to cut him off] Ben—

Ben —from a month ago or so—?

Sammy What? What are you talking about?

Ben You know— May- maybe we should start it with Uh, callers first! [mildly frantic] Just-uh-Give us a call at 424-279-3858 and let’s talk about… *tsk* anything! Let’s uh, whats your-whats your-whats-whats on your mind King Falls?

Sammy Ladies and gentlemen, put down your phones for a second. What Ben is trying to say is we’ve got a scoop here this evening on King Falls AM. We’re gonna be speaking with—

Ben [cutting Sammy off]Or you can tweet us! @kingfallsam. I-I-I will literally talk about anything right now. Even to Mr. Derschwitz about that weird toenail thing. Let-lets-lets go, people!

Sammy I thought we agreed—

Ben I know. Sammy, I’m sorry it’s just, [slightly more frantic] I’m-I’m not feelin’ the best here. Alright? my stomach, is all… knotted up, just thinking about this.

Sammy That is journalism. That feeling is journalism—

Ben [speaking over Sammy] I think it might actually be an ulcer! It Tastes, like Fear and Feels, like Cancer . It’s way more than anxiety. I-I’m gonna call Dr. Raúl, at break.

Sammy He’s a chiropractor!

Ben Maybe he can refer me?

Sammy Power through it, buddy! Look at this folks, we got somebody dialing into the hotline right now! You ready for this Ben? Come on.

Ben Please, be Reverend Hawthorne so we can talk about the Revival next month.

Sammy Oh stop it. You know he isn’t even scheduled!

Ben I just thought— maybe that’s how prayers work, I don’t know, I’m not a reverend!

Sammy King Falls AM, you’re on the air.

Dr. Rosenblum [Dr. Rosenblum’s voice is measured and monotonous and mildly creepy at all times] Good evening, this is Dr. Jeffery Rosenblum, with the, King Falls County Coroner’s Office.

Ben C-can I please just say—

Sammy Dr. Rosenblum, it is a pleasure to speak with you this evening.

Rosenblum Excited to be here, Sammy. Ecstatic even. We listen on slow nights.

Ben That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever heard.

Sammy Much appreciated, Doc. Now, as fate would have it, you were the overseeing physician working on the Lake Hatchenhaw John Doe, is that correct?

Ben Doc? Can you just, hold on for- one- moment- please?

Rosenblum Of course, Ben I—

Sammy Don’t start, Ben! We agreed to see this through.

Ben All I’m saying i- lemme finish- a- i-is that maybe it’s not our place *deep breath* to break this kind of news.

Sammy Fine. You know what? You’re right! Let’s just give this to our friends down at Channel 13 and let them be the ones to alert the public about this.

Ben [journalist voice] Doc, Ben Arnold. Tell us about cracking open the mystery body.

Sammy [quietly] Oh.

Rosenblum It’s true that I was the operating physician on that particular John Doe, y-es, irrefutablyy

Sammy Now, as I understand, your official report was released yesterday morning, doctor, but amazingly enough, not one publication or news station in our town- including King Falls AM- reported on it.

Rosenblum You are correct. Busy news day- one would assume.

Ben So, that means, you are— free to talk about it on air.

Rosenblum I would be elated

Sammy First and foremost on everyone’s minds: were there any signs of, uh, y’know, the lake mo- *sighs* I can’t.

Ben Did Kingsie make the body, bite the big one?

Rosenblum There was no evidence that a creature large or small had anything to do with the deceased.

Ben *sigh of relief* That- I knew Kingsie didn’t have it in her.

Sammy Now, Dr. Rosenblum, can you tell us if there was any foul play involved at all?

Rosenblum During our first autopsy we were not able to distinguish with certainty the cause of death. But there were no signs of foul play

Sammy I’m sorry, did you say “first” autopsy?

Ben [confused] Is that normal? Did you- find out the cause of death during the… second autopsy?

Rosenblum Indeed. It was six individual gunshot wounds to the victim’s head. Three shots to the temporal lobe, two to the mendulla oblongata—

Sammy What?! Six gunshot wounds?!

Rosenblum To the cranium, yes. One to the frontal lobe, another to—

Ben So the Lake Hatchenhaw John Doe was, murdered?

Sammy I can’t believe this! This is big! Why didn’t one news outlet report this thing yesterday?!

Rosenblum Well, the cause of death was inconclusive and with no signs of foul play, it was not exactly a juicy story.

Ben and Sammy Wait a second.

Rosenblum …yes?

Sammy I’m sorry, doc. I’m not in the medical orrr criminal fields but, how is six gunshots not foul play?

Rosenblum Well, that was between the first autopsy and the second. The gunshots were self-defense administered via Deputy Kreighauser at my behest.

Sammy Ben, we’re gonna wanna get Troy on the phone and see what he’s got to say about this.

Ben “Things Ben Arnold would never think under ordinary circumstances for 800, Alex.”[2]

Sammy Doc, while we’re getting Deputy Troy on the line, would you mind if we took a quick break to hear from one of our sponsors?

Rosenblum That’s just- Dandy.

[light bg music]

Greg Frickard After a long day’s work or a tough day’s play, you probably just wanna come home and relax. No need to slave over a hot stove for hours on end. Well that’s where we come in! Here at Granny Frickard’s, we know that the less time you spend doing the things you don’t like, is the more time you spend with the ones you love. So come get some of the best frog legs that money can buy. Granny Frickard’s French-fried farm-fresh never-frozen filleted-and-fricasseed fried-and-flambeed frog legs. Mm-mm-mm. So get on down to Granny Frickard’s Froggery at the corner of Main Street and 7th Avenue. We’ll put some pep in your step and some hop in your heart.

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy And we’re back on King Falls AM, here with King Falls County Coroner, Dr. Jeffery Rosenblum.

Rosenblum A Pleasure.

Sammy Do you have Troy, Ben?

Ben He’s booking one of the Williams boys for mooning. He’ll call us in a few.

Sammy I’m a little out of sorts here, doc. Can you explain what happened between the first inconclusive autopsy and the point where Troy filled the cadaver full of lead.

Rosenblum Of course. As I was finishing the initial post-mortem, it came to my attention that the deceased began to emit a hissing sound, fluctuating between the lower thorax and the larynx.

Ben Oh my God.

Rosenblum I called for Deputy Kreighauser and he entered, as I wanted someone else to see this- phenomenon. That’s when the John Doe began a slight, thrashing about the upper torso.

Ben Um… are you saying—

Rosenblum The deputy began to fumble for his sidearm while we both discerned that something was wildly- amiss. The deceased opened its eyes and instantly grabbed for the lapel of my lab coat with voracious tenacity.

Ben Wh- ah- go on.

Rosenblum It gnashed its teeth as I emitted a terrified, albeit, high pitched, scream. And that’s when Troy unholstered his sidearm and administered six lethal shots to the reanimated corpse’s cranium.

Ben A zombie.

Sammy Alright, is there- [fumbling] Let’s just say- is there-

Ben We’ve got Troy on the line.

Deputy Troy [in bg] I don’t care if he was only joshin’. You can’t show your G-D derriere out in public! [car door slams] [pleasantly] Hey boys, what’s goin’ on tonight?

Sammy You tell us, Troy, holy geez! Uh, we’ve got Dr. Rosenblum on the line here and—

Deputy Troy Is this about the zombie?

Ben Yes! So-so you’re confirming this story, Troy?

Deputy Troy Well, hell yeah I’m confirming! I had to do three hours of damn paper work from unloadin’ my pistola into a corpse! Sheriff Gunderson was not the happiest of campers.

Ben [excited and awed] This is amazing… This is unprecedented .

Sammy [skeptical] This is a little unbelievable, Troy.

Rosenblum It is a first in my profession. Believe you me. [still tonelessly] Wowzers.

Deputy Troy Honest engine[3] boys. I capped the all get out of that thing! It had the doc by the face ‘bout to start chewing!

Rosenblum You’re my hero, Deputy Troy.

Deputy Troy Shucks, wasn’t nothin’ special.

Ben [slightly sullen] Except killing the first instance of a zombie in King Falls since—

Sammy Don’t say “since”.

Ben … Well… Since that one time at the mall in the '80s.

Sammy No, that’s not a real thing, Ben. That’s a film.

Ben [worked up] Sammy? How many extraordinary things are gonna have to SLAP you right in the face to make you buy into this? KING FALLS, MAN.

Deputy Troy You know me, Sammy. I always shoot ya straight. But it was the craziest sh[bleep]t I’ve ever seen. I mean it was like my-ex-wife-needs-alimony-money crazy.

Ben See? Even Barney Fife[4] saw it.

Sammy *sighs* I just—

Rosenblum I don’t want to cause an uproar here, but since that exam, there have been, other cases.

Ben Of frickin’ zombies?

Rosenblum Of reanimation among corpses… yes.

Deputy Troy Doc, you just give me a call if you need. I’m more than happy to go Clint Eastwood if the situation arises.

Rosenblum Will do, Deputy. Thank you so much for your- assistance. Without you, there may not have been this- interview.

Deputy Troy [proud] To protect and serve.

Sammy I can’t take all this in right now, Dr. Rosenblum I- e- Thank you so much for your insightful information.

Rosenblum As they say, [still monotone] “you got it, duude.”

[click, dial tone]

Ben You okay, Sammy? You… don’t look so well.

Deputy Troy Ah, hell, boys.[siren whoop] I gotta go. I’ll call you back later tonight! One of the Williams boys is tryin’ ta saw through the bars outside the jailhouse? [sirens in bg] [through megaphone] Jacob Williams put your hands UP and the file DOWN.

[click, dial tone]

Ben Alright King Falls, you’ve heard our story, let’s hear yours. Have you or anyone you know experienced anything like what the doctor spoke of? Reanimation? The walking—

Sammy Don’t.

Ben You know what I mean. Give us a call or tweet us.

Sammy Looks like the board is lighting up!

Ben Um…

Sammy What’s up? Okay, it can’t be any crazier than what we just heard, Ben.

Ben Line One, Sammy.

Sammy Welcome to King Falls AM, you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

Line 1 [female, almost sounds automated] Good evening, Sammy—

Sammy Do I know you ma'am?

Riley — please hold for Mayor Grisham.

Ben He… Probably just wants us to— mark these tapes as, evidence. *nervous laugh* Right, Sammy?

Sammy Or burn them.

Riley Sammy Stevens, Mayor Grisham.

Sammy Mayor?

Mayor Grisham Sammy… Ben.

Sammy You’re on live on King Falls AM, sir.

Mayor Grisham [commanding] Take me off and go to break. We need to chat.

Sammy No can do. Ben says we aren’t scheduled for break for another- uh- at least ten minutes.

Mayor Grisham Ben. Cut. To. Commercial.

Ben Uh- uh- uh- the thing is- I- I- I can’t- do that. Sir.

Mayor Grisham [threateningly pleasant] You boys want to talk live on air? We can talk live on air.

Sammy [challenging] Nothin’ to hide on this end of the phone, Mayor Grisham.

Mayor Grisham I hear your snide remarks, Sammy. I’ve read the transcripts.

Sammy Which! let’s be honest, is pretty weird. We’re a late night AM talk show, why are you bothering with us?

Mayor Grisham Oh, I don’t bother with you. I try to keep up to date with all the local news and entertainment. I gotta say, I was really happy a big city radio guy decided to come play host at our little radio station.

Sammy Well, I’m more than happy to—

Mayor Grisham I wasn’t finished… But I have to say, I’m a little less than thrilled with [accusingly] all the excitement you brought with you.

Sammy I’d hardly call reporting the news “excitement”, sir—

Mayor Grisham It’s interesting to me that I don’t see Channel 13 breaking these crazy stories.

Ben [quickly] No offense, your honor, but those idiots don’t know their a[bleep]holes from their elbows.

Mayor Grisham And you boys being on site when these “events” happen? [softly, still accusing] It’s a little bit of a coincidence don’t you think?

Sammy Are you insinuating that we are staging these events, Mayor?

Mayor Grisham I’m stating facts. I’m sure your ratings are way, way up there since all these sensational events seem to coincide with your broadcast. Why do you think that is? Furthermore, I mean who’s up listening to you at this ungodly hour of the night?!

Sammy Seemingly most of the town, Sir. As well as whomever you’ve hired to keep an ear on us.

Mayor Grisham I’ve tried to be nice about this… And I tried to be civil… but I think it’s about time that you troublemakers changed formats. No more of this funny business. It’s not good for the listeners. It’s not good for the residents. And honestly? it’s not good for me. I don’t appreciated being painted in this light, gentlemen.

Sammy Oh! You mean the light where you as a public service,[sic] try to quell the voice of the people.

Ben It’s not your right to tell us what we can and can’t report on, sir. All due respect.

Mayor Grisham [rudely] All due respect, Ben Arnold. Just a couple of months ago you were digging up old records on eBay for Chet Sebastian to run on about. Now you’re a media star?? That’s worrisome! Seems you fellas have All the reasons in the world to fabricate these issues, and I have to say I’m not gonna sit here and listen to this, while you LIE TO THE GOOD PEOPLE OF KING FALLS.

Sammy Well, when we start “fabricating” and “making things up,” you can come throw the book at us. But until then- [click, dial tone] Whoops! Looks like you just got disconnected. I’d wait for you to give us a call back and all, but with it not being an election year I probably shouldn’t hold my breath.

Ben Line One iiis lit up again, Sammy.

Sammy [insincerely] Oh, sorry about that Mayor! I must have fabricated accidentally dumping your call when-

Esther Rollens [heavy metal music in bg] [voice old and wavering] Did you boys fund a lavender ball of yarn in there? Been looking for it all week! [click, dial tone]

Ben [shaken] Sammy, I think that commercial might do us some good right now.

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] Coachella - The Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival (commonly called Coachella or the Coachella Festival) is an annual music and arts festival held at the Empire Polo Club in Indio, California, in the Coachella Valley in the Colorado Desert.

[2] Reference to the TV game show Jeopardy!

[3] I honestly can’t tell if he’s saying “honest engine” or “honest injun” but i’mma go with the one that’s technically incorrect but also not super racist.

[4] Barney Fife - Deputy from the Andy Griffith Show. Calling a police officer or authority figure "Barney Fife" has become an American slang term for gross ineptitude or overzealousness.

#king falls am #king falls #kfam #sammy stevens #ben arnold #troy krieghauser #dr. jeffrey rosenblum #mayor grisham #kfam transcripts #kfam ep5

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