#or my dysphoria or my autism or my disabilities

[caffeinatedopossum]

I just want to be able to indulge in my disorder without losing my ability to draw often and hyperfixate and hold a conversation and physically digest food without nausea and pain

#maybe i just want to get better but i dont know how #its so so hard. i cant even put it into words #i dont want to live like this. its like my only 2 options are relapse and maybe feel happy sometimes #or keep pushing for recovery but hate myself and my life and everything i make and every waking moment #and every bite of food that im just a little too aware of sitting in my stomach as i wait for something to get better #but it doesn't. i can draw and talk to people ig but its not good enough. my life is still being controlled by this shit #i wish i never tried to recover sometimes... just to keep up the illusion that things could get better if i chose to make them that way #what a joke. i was never in control of my life. if it isnt my ed its my DID or my anxiety or my phobias or ptsd or my insomnia #or my dysphoria or my autism or my disabilities #im so tired. i cant do anymore but i cant do nothing. i just want some decisiveness for once

[perplexingluciddreams]

dysphoria is one of the worst things ever.

i feel like i am barely existing at all, just waiting for any possible relief from this all-encompassing, seemingly inescapable misery.

forced to stay stuck in this body that hurts me (physically and mentally) with no positive change in sight and deteriorating mental health.

it is made so much more complex with this stacked on top of severe physical disability that makes me largely bedbound and fully housebound. with my chest (the part of my body that causes the dysphoria) causing my chronic pain to be worse, to have even poorer posture, to struggle more with moving around due to the extreme weight.

and as time goes on, the situation only looks worse. it gets harder and harder to access any trans healthcare in the UK. even to find pathways to doing things privately (instead of NHS) seems pretty much impossible. or nonexistent.

and that is for everyone, not just me. but for me, there is so many more barriers to it. i constantly worry that even if i do eventually get near the point of accessing top surgery, that i will be refused because of my health. or because i am nonverbal. or even just because i am developmentally disabled. (i don't know how likely any of these are, but i can't deny that they are all possibilities).

i am so fucking fed up of this. i already have so many reasons to want to die. i just want to be rid of this one.

#from the chaos of my mind #swearing #passive suicidality #transsexual #transgender #trans #trans healthcare #uk #scotland #disabled #disability #physically disabled #physical disability #bedbound #bed bound #housebound #nonverbal #nonspeaking #autism #autistic #developmentally disabled #dysphoria #gender dysphoria #vent #vent post

[cactusfru1ts]

as i learn more about aac + the people who use it im starting to feel incredibly complicated about my one active dnd character being autistic + mute + those two things being completely unrelated (at least in terms of origin obviously theyve become very much related over the years). like. i dunno. i love ida and i love playing ida and if i was coming up with ida today she would be virtually unrecognizable because holy shit i did not think this character through when i was coming up with her

#quetzposting #a lot of my issues with the way i wrote ida basically stem from the fact that i came up with her when i was like. what. 15? #and ive been able to iron things out a LOT over the past four years #but i still feel a little weird about playing a character whose autism is like. definitely a disability. and trying to figure out how that- #-works with and impacts her acquired disability because while i do still sometimes lose speech i really dont have the like. lived experience #that would make me fully comfortable playing her the way i would probably write her if she wasnt. yk. a dnd character. #i guess what it comes down to is like. all of my best characters have had a part of me in them. usually that part comes with a little autism #or bipolar or aromanticism or dysphoria or compulsive behavior or superstition or whatever the fuck else #and while im trying to figure out my own disability (and coming to terms with the way my autism impacts it + often makes it worse) #im having to look at ida and try to separate out the parts of me that became her and the parts of her that became me #and her disability is… not really either one of those #even though it did come from me because at the time i pretty much had a selective mutism thing goin on #and it did come from her because playing her has helped me understand my own disability #even though its so different from hers #its just really weird to think about. and i do wish id played her a bit differently from the beginning #its extra weird because i straight up dont remember huge chunks of the campaign lmao #thanks for that dissociative disorder. really appreciate it (sarcasm)

[taptrial2]

honestly, the idea that an autism diagnosis does not get you any help in the USA is bullshit and should not be trusted. yes, anti-trans legislation targeting autistic trans people can and will affect you if you have an official diagnosis. but my diagnosis helped me get disability and misc disability services in my area covered by medicaid. it got me the help i needed in school. it genuinely is helpful to have a diagnosis in some places if they have disability services to help you. to tell people to not bother getting a professional diagnosis because it doesn't grant you access to any special care is demonstrably false, at least in my situation

imho it is irresponsible to tell people what to do with the anti-trans legislation if they are autistic and seeking accommodations or help via a diagnosis AND are trans. it depends on the individual.

please assess your own situation; which state you're in, what programs are around you, if you need financial help, if you need accommodations in school, and if your dysphoria is more debilitating / needs to be taken care of more or less than your potential disability.

gender-affirming care saves lives. so do disability services. having to decide which to prioritize is a truly horrible, agonizing thing to deal with, and i hope that those who must make that choice can stay safe. do not let fearmongering strangers on the internet dictate that choice.

#exoticbutterstxt #actuallyautistic

[psychhound]

5e homebrew for disability pride month

hey yall :D since it's disability pride month and i am a Local Disabled TM i wanted to spotlight the d&d 5e homebrew i've done featuring disability mechanics!! they're all FREE / PWYW and available on itch!!

autism & adhd mechanics

traits for mechanically emphasizing a character's autism and/or adhd!! there's 11 traits total, with 5 shared between them, and 3 each that are specific to autism and adhd. the traits are beneficial, detrimental, and a mix of both, intended for 1-3 to be chosen for a single character. includes traits like sensory processing disorder, time blindness, and rejection sensitive dysphoria

service monsters

service animals - monster edition! you choose a customizable base for your monster, a statblock, and origin, and then get to choose your service type: guiding, hearing, mobility, medical alert, trauma, schizophrenia, or autism! each service type has a unique monster with different abilities, strengths, and magic. service monsters can't be used in combat but they have resistance to all damage and go to a pocket dimension upon dropping to 0hp

trauma mechanics

10 traits for panic disorder, ptsd, and cptsd, with an included definitions section and suggestions for trait application. includes mechanics for triggers, as well as for traits like panic attacks, insomnia, hypervigilance, and trust issues. the traits include different outcomes for meeting the dc or failing by different margins, and the aftereffects of failing a save, as well as ways that allies can help

my inspiration for making these was that i'm an autistic, mentally ill, traumatized disabled person who's been an active and leading disability advocate for the last 9 years and a disability-specialist social worker for 2.5 of those. definitely still room for improvement with my homebrew but i think there always will be when trying to put the incredibly varied human experience of disability into a crunchy numbers&rules format :o)

if you liked them please consider throwing some dollars my way either on itch or on my kofi as i get ready to head to grad school to study gamification in the mental health & disability space!! you can also check out the rest of my 5e homebrew here!

happy disability pride month to all, go run over some toes

#5e homebrew #dnd 5e #disability pride month #autism #adhd #ptsd #service animal #actually autistic

[visible-schizo-spectrum]

yk smn interesting. a popular argument of transandrophobia is that transmasculine ppl r autistic girls who don’t know better (yet in the mental illness world, transmascs r usually respected as men but seen as faking autism. interesting. will make a post ab this later)

i was dxed w autism at 3. i was dxed w autistic disorder back when aspergers still existed. I do not have a level of autism bcs when i was dxed, all autism dxes were what we would dx as level 2 or 3 now.

schizophrenia is the only thing that has stood in the way for me to get gender affirming care. i had to have my gender dysphoria confirmed multiple times just in case it was delusional somehow, but then after that i was allowed to start hormones. i will be getting surgery next year.

no one has ever argued against me that my autism means i can’t transition. even my borderline intellectual disability has only rarely came up and the solution was just that my mom (who is my caregiver) helps me understand medical things and what doctors are saying (which she has been doing my entire life).

all this to say that this is a transandrophobic talking point. it is not exclusive to transmascs like predatory accusations isn’t exclusive to transfems but it is v much applied primarily to transmascs bcs it makes them seem like mentally incapable child-like girls who can’t make medical decisions.

ppl ask for unique examples of transmasculine transphobia well there u go. if ur transfem and read this and go “but that happens to me” then think ab how many transmisogynistic things happen to transmascs.

#transandrophobia #transmasc safe

[autismcultureis]

Autism + trans culture is growing up with one parent who was sure you were autistic but is transphobic and one who was sure you weren’t but supports your identity.

I have two choices: have my disability supported but slowly die of dysphoria, or be allowed to transition and always need to do more which will also slowly kill me. 😀

.

#autism culture #autism #autism spectrum disorder #autistic #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #actually autistic #asd #autistic things #nd #autistic transgender culture #autistic trans #autistic transgender

[valravn72]

Disabled Xion Flags!!

For funsies :3

Alright to use without credit, just please reblog if saving/using!!! Thank youuuu 🫶

Reasons for my disabled Xion headcanon below the cut (the summary bc otherwise I will go all day):

Xion is obsessed with “usefulness” and only considers illness in light of how it will affect her productivity or burden others

Xion is also very preoccupied with whether or not she is worthy of existence

Xion experiences chronic episodes of dizziness, migraines, fatigue and fainting. This comes from how her body reacts to her paradoxical existence and how the state of that existence relates to the simultaneous nature of Sora, Roxas and Naminé

The way her body attacks itself because it knows something is wrong is so so real as a disability allegory immune systems be like that

She collects shells!!! And stims with them by rubbing them!!! And gives people them as her love language!!! Autism!!!! And she carries them around in her big dramatic coat pockets! Me frrrrr

Also having Nobodies as a dissociation/low empathy allegory effects her character a lot, including how she and Roxas don’t really understand most phrases and social norms… autisma…!…

She spends a lot of time in bed recovering from fainting episodes and dizzy spells

Roxas’s comas usually have clear causes that correlate with events such as Sora being put to sleep, but for Xion it’s usually just because she’s in burnout. My girl’s a spoonie

Another autism moment is how ???? her gender is. She’s widely considered to be a trans allegory and autistic people are statistically more likely to experience gender in abnormal ways/be nonbinary so wahahaha my headcanons support each other that’s how right I am

The separation from her body that comes with finding out she is a replica is a good parallel with disability mourning (as well as dpdr and gender dysphoria)

She’s also very fixated on whether or not she is “real” and how she could become real and is referred to as an object or a doll/puppet by a lot of other characters, which is a big trope in disabled media

Overall her internalized dehumanization and ableism is a big part of her character

She also parrots back ableist things people have said to her in order to justify not asking for help, especially when Roxas and Axel try to convince her that she comes first

There’s some dialogue from other characters where several of them mention how they think she’s overworking herself and is too invested in seeking approval

Saïx calling her a “waste” is a big part of her character arc. As is losing to Riku, which is stupid because he’s older than her and has more experience

When Roxas gets sick she immediately recognizes him hiding his symptoms, working too hard and refusing help and begs him to be gentle with himself because she understands exactly what he’s going through

Her body and abilities are consistently depicted as being unstable in nature overall. Her magic and abilities are unreliable and can stop working for seemingly no reason

She also has a high sense of justice, starts out nonverbal, displays limited emotions when not having a breakdown and is very rule focused + takes what authority figures say at face value. My little yippee

She’s very quiet overall and also stays in her hood a lot, which is common for Nobodies to disguise her identities but she’s also very inexpressive when hooded and is only verbal with effort. She retreats into her hood when overwhelmed pretty consistently, especially when she doesn’t want to engage emotionally. In the manga she is shown to typically be expressionless when in this state.

She’s doomed by the narrative and she knows it

She was basically made as a backup in case Roxas and Sora couldn’t be useful to the organization, so her body is reacting to how there’s several pieces of herself missing and how they all exist simultaneously and effect each other constantly even though they’re all completely separate people. It’s implied that only absorbing Roxas and Sora would allow her to have a stable body. She opts to have Sora absorb her instead.

Anyway yeah this isn’t really a perfect explanation but this is the most I can do without writing another Jumbled Autism Dump essay. I hope it was legible and thank you for reading it lmao. I’m just excited to spread the gospel of spoonie Xion

#headcanon #actually disabled #character icons #Xion #xion kingdom hearts #actually autistic #media analysis #kingdom hearts #character analysis #kingdom hearts days #sea salt trio #kh headcanons #disability pride #disability flag #actually chronically ill #disabled characters #fibromyalgia #disability #nonbinary Xion #nonbinary character #autistic characters #I have the her brainrot #my dearly beloved #you do not need to read my rant you can just take the icons and run I understand #I really just put out flags to lure you in and then jumpscared you with surprise reading

[sexisdisgusting]

Soz idk where else to say this so I’m saying it to you: I just realized, I think the reason TRAs in particular are so dismissive of feminism and oppressive sexism, instead only focusing on choice feminism, is bc if we actually acknowledged how oppressed females are, then they’d be forced to realize how fucked up it is to “identify” as us.

Example: They know transracial is bad, they know it’s bad to identify as a race you aren’t, because you can’t identify into a marginalized group like that when you’re not part of it! Obviously!

But if that’s true, what about women? Sexism is just as bad as racism, just as systemic and violent. Why is it ok for the oppressor group to not only identify as a marginalized sex group they’re not a part of, but then go on to speak over said marginalized group and destroy their spaces and wish death and rape on them for being upset by their oppressors “identifying” as them? Racial dysphoria is a thing too, I know people who have racial dysphoria, yet they know clearly that it’s offensive to “transition” into a group they don’t belong to, they work through their dysphoria in other ways instead.

so what’s the difference? Like really? What is the difference? The answer is there isn’t one. No one can think of a solid reason why one is ok and the other isn’t. Race and gender are both social constructs, but are based on biological and genetic traits. Race and gender both come with inherent trauma, including generational trauma. Race and gender both have history and family ties attached to them. Both are connected to lineage. What’s the difference?!

since no one can answer this, libfems will either get completely stuck and just ignore it, or they will end up at one of 2 stops. Those being that either “transracial” is valid, or that women aren’t really THAT oppressed. Usually these yt folk know better than to go for the former, so that leaves the latter. The reality of systemic sex based oppression defeats their entire ideology. I should know, I’m 20, I was trans identified for 10 years, grew up in the community, and just thinking about this critically for 3 fucking seconds made me do a complete 180 in a week. A. Week.

(I’m poc though, I get yt trans don’t really gaf bout us unless we’re useful as o mystical kweer savages who had 3000 genders. For those of you who don’t understand racism, think about transabled or something like dat. It’s not quite the same, but you get it. Disability is really just a social construct assigned to a real phenomena! Now imagine a group of “transautistic” people getting an autism support centre defunded, spraypainting “kill all trans-autistic exclusionary disabled rights activists” on the windows, and nailing dead rats to the doors, because they weren’t assisting “trans-autistic” people. You get it?)

Leaving yall on this. If you support dylan mulvaney then u should also support oli london, because they’re the same.

my fucking god anonita

you neednt EVER apologize for blessing my askbox like this holy shit

i dont think i have anything to add except that you are so fucking right, you summed it up PERFECTLY

i started reading this ask while laying down and found myself sitting up by the end of it

im so happy knowing an intelligent woman like you is following me, and im so fucking proud of you

#asks #anon asks

[sophieinwonderland]

Why are you pretending to have autism you fucking useless stain on society

I'm not saying that I'm 100% certain I know who you are... but I am saying that it's really curious how I got the anon immediately before three comments from...

Not to mention that this anon from a few days ago calling me a freak is pretty clearly using the same language as another comment.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure these are the same...

Trust me, @vel0uria, nobody thinks you're quirky.

But... maybe you, personally, are a bit of a joke.

You're a bully who hurts people you can't understand, making accusations of ableism while yourself using ableist language and calling people delusional as an insult. That feels very much like a joke, even if not a very funny one.

Now, I could go into the whole spiel about how identities are weird. How there are people with BIID who feel like they're physically wrong for not being disabled in some way. And that, while not really focused on much in psychiatry, it makes logical sense that there would be mental equivalents to BIID where people feel dysphoria for not having certain mental disorders.

It doesn't have to always make rational sense.

I could also point out that most transautistics I've spoken to acknowledge that it's different from actual autism.

I could talk about my own experiences after becoming self-aware when I felt our brain was dumb, slower than I knew my mind should be. It's not just idly wanting to be smarter. It's the fact that I was more knowledgeable in my source, that answers came quicker to me, and the slowness felt wrong on a fundamental level when I was operating on our host's brain.

So I can empathize with people who feel the opposite at a stronger level. Who feel like their brains are wrong because they don't have a mental illness they feel they should.

But I feel like that might be falling on deaf ears with you.

So instead I'll just say this: You could be doing anything.

There are so many ways you could be helping to better the autistic community, to put light into people's lives, to fight back against actual ableism that affects us all.

Instead, you chose to bully a person diagnosed with autism for having a different view of our own disorder than you do. (Because yes, we are actually autistic and have a diagnosis.) You chose to hurt people, blindly hurling out ableist insults.

You need to seriously start asking yourself if this is the type of person you want to be.

#actually autistic #actually autism #actually asd #transid #autism #asd #autistic spectrum #transx #rad inclus #neurodivergent #trans id #neurodiversity #psychology #actually neurodivergent #actuallyautistic #neurodivergence #discourse #ableism

[trans-wojak]

I wish people would stop acting like having autism and/or ADHD wouldn’t be a disability if society was more accessible. It would make it easier sure, but executive dysfunction wouldn’t fucking disappear just because shopping malls had a ‘quiet time’ or if people were more aware of things. Trains have quiet carriages where you aren’t meant to talk or make any loud noises with devices. Do people follow these rules? Mostly but not always. Even when they do, that doesn’t stop me from feeling overwhelmed by being in prolixity with so many strangers. It doesn’t stop the anxiety from going so far away from my safe zone.

I am so sick of people, especially medical professionals acting like my autism/adhd isn’t a disability and I should just be able to make phone calls to say I can’t make it to an appointment. Majority of the time, I can’t make it cause I’m non verbal. Now I can’t make a phone call cause again, I AM NON VERBAL. I can’t control this when it happens, it’s usually from burn out. I struggle so much to manage mundane tasks like self-care. Every time I try to to go get my T shot, the clinic ONLY has a nursing appointment early in the morning. I have to travel for almost two hours to get there. First I have to wake up early, which is already difficult cause I have issues with insomnia. A lack of sleep causes me to be nauseated, which means I might end up vomiting. Throwing up means I can’t leave the house cause I might end up needing to puke while on the train.

Now everything doesn’t fit me properly, being off T has made me lose the fat repositioning and the menses have returned. I’m sick of it. Trans healthcare is so fucking scarce and ever since they introduced the informed consent model, the clinic has been SO OVER BOOKED. I can never get an appointment without it being early in the morning and waiting months in advance. They can never give me an appointment that’s 12 weeks apart because THEY ARE ALWAYS BOOKED OUT. If cunts wanted to make informed consent the way to go instead of a gender dysphoria diagnosis, they should have made it any fucking doctor would prescribe it. But no, instead stupid fucks just clog up the system while those of us who are actually suffering from a crippling neurological condition (dysphoria) and have more vulnerabilities have to be pushed to the back lists so some stupid “non binary lesbians” can microdose testosterone because they’re too lazy to learn how to voice train or work out. Then they start crying when no lesbians are into them anymore cause they start to look male, go on to join the radfems who are trying to destroy our rights. These cunts who want to use our healthcare for their body modification needs are so selfish.

#personal #transmed #anti mogai #lgbt exclu #rant #tw dysphoria #don’t fucking bitch at me #i am not here for it #actuallyautistic

[genderkoolaid]

Transdisabled makes me uncomfy bc I have seen multiple ppl claiming being disabled is a privilege. And trying to fit it in the same framework as transgender. I understand most probably have some other issues going on, but being told by a presumably allistic person that my autism and chronic pain are privileges is really shitty. And I worry that it interferes with their ability to understand disabled people and our oppression in a meaningful way. Like they want to experience it but rarely acknowledge the oppression and alienation that comes with it.

See, those are real complaints to have, and I agree. The idea that disabled people are privileged has made me uncomfortable.

I don't think being transabled would inherently interfere with someone's ability to understand disabled people's oppression, but that we need more communication and education. The problem here is how people are interpreting the relationship between transabled people and disabled people, not the actual experience of being transabled.

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "trying to fit it in the same framework as transgender"; personally, I don't think there's anything all that wrong about using the gender dysphoria to explain body integrity dysphoria or comparing the two. I think the main problem people have is that they feel that it somehow devalues being trans or justifies the transphobic idea of the "slippery slope", but that's largely because the idea of being "transabled" is seen as wild and crazy, so we're worried that if that is valid, it means being transgender is also wild and crazy and no better than them. But it makes sense why the two are compared (body dysphoria which makes people want to medically transition) and I think transabled only devalues the trans* experience if we let ourselves be defined by transphobes who think anyone weird is crazy and stupid. I think the radical, trans-liberationist perspective would be to question why we have to distance ourselves from the idea of transability, why we feel like it's a threat to trans activism. We have to be careful and question ourselves on if we are continuing the cycle of finding another group that's weirder than us and stepping on them to prove that we're reasonable and not as weird as them, so we deserve social acceptance.

#m. #ask box #transabled

[detransraichu]

another long vent about my ex lol

okay so. my transmasc ex, who i thought was only into amab people (aka technically heterosexual sex-wise), is happily going on dates w another transmasc guy who passes as male. and they say that they don't care if they actually pass as a straight woman as long as they're dating someone who passes as male. they'd rather pass as straight than as a lesbian. they're more fem now. i can't stop thinking abt how they showed regret abt top surgery once (asked me if breasts could regrow, hopeful, looking crushed when i said no) and once had a period questioning aligning w womanhood in some way, but they said they related to transfem experiences and felt like they lived as a trans woman since they passed as that, the struggles of it and really wanting to get laser for their hrt facial hair... and then i, who was an ultra over-the-top transfem ally at the time, invalidated them by saying they needed to remember it's not the same as trans women and they're more privileged as an afab person. after both those instances they shut down and never mentioned relating to womanhood again.

so they're only into male-passing people. they thought i would transition so they tried dating me, but i identified as partially female and then fully female and they got distant and started acting like a tough macho man instead of their natural personality and femininity, bc i guess if they're more masc they needed to act like The Man Of The House and consistently pass as male (which they later said they hated). bc if they were openly fem and pass as female w me we would pass as lesbians and that was their worst nightmare with dysphoria. i guess radfem-wise they're bisexual in the technical sense, but only wanna date a male-passing person. which is valid. i feel dumb for still feeling a bit hurt... as a detrans woman i'm like damn, if only i had transitioned... but i would've been repressing my true self and been miserable. and we're incompatible in many ways anyway. but oof

idk... it makes me think pretty irrational things :/ they also made a move on me after the breakup (a specific alter did at least, we both have DID) bc it was an alter of mine who relates to angels so doesn't really relate to human gender/sex bc of trauma. it's a mental illness thing. but only then they were attracted to me. they said those specific alters could date, as long as we were polyamorous... but that alter of theirs barely comes out, so they said i should manage my expectations. it felt like it would be a part-time relationship. our relationship always felt like that from the start, honestly... they were always only partially into me, mostly indifferent, which they blamed on autism. we were sometimes romantic sometimes platonic, i was constantly anxious, insecure and yearning. it almost broke me when they did things w me that night and then suggested that. bc all of me was into them from the start (tho now i know that only a woman who 100% identifies as a woman could satisfy me) but they were into only one part of me part-time. that would have been SOOOO unhealthy for me. i had so many meltdowns, thank god i said no

and now they're dating a transmasc person who lives as male... i'm happy for them, it suits them better. i was never enough, and honestly they were never enough for me either... they were almost never affectionate w me for yearssss but now they're loveydovey abt this guy and all romantic. they had wanted to breakup for years but lied bc they thought i couldn't survive without them as a disabled woman (who had lived without them before and did just fine!!! but whatever). and they fantasized about men all that time, and thought of men when we had sex, and hated their life. it SUUUUCKS. how do i even cope with all of that. it all started bc we were roommates and they kept trying to makeout w them while drunk, then apologizing the next day and pretending nothing happened. i always said "no, do it sober instead." i had to call them out on it one day and ask them if they wanted to date. only one of their alters did, they said yes, we dated. more and more alters paired up romantically, but the alters dating parts of me barely fronted. they had a looot of religious trauma, and were raised in heavy homophobia, so them being with an afab person was a huge deal i think. it's good that they openly happily go on dates w another afab person, i guess... i thought for sure it would be amab people only. most of the ppl they showed me on their dating app were amab. but yeah, good for them. it feels like some form of closure. still feels weird, but i'm relieved too, happy for them as their best friend. at least the reason they weren't into me wasn't my sex/agab. it was bc i wasn't on testosterone (anymore) and didn't get top surgery, and didn't identify as nonbinary or male. i still have mixed feelings, it was such a crazy complicated journey... but whatever, it's over. i can finally move on to hot girls who actually truly want me as i am and hopefully eventually find my person <3 i'm so tired emotionally though lol. if you read all of this bs you're a real one ily 💜💜 i would also love some radfem thoughts on this?? idk

#lay text

[psychhound]

reposting homebrew!

hello all! now that things with wotc have Settled i've decided to repost my 5e homebrew as itch exclusives! enough people said they hoped they would go up again that it seemed like it was time to make them available once more. i'll be posting a few homebrew each sunday so keep a look out!

so without further ado ...

autism & adhd mechanics

11 total traits for pcs and npcs to mechanically emphasize their autism and/or adhd. includes disability specific and shared traits, including executive dysfunction, sensory processing disorder, motor issues, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and more! pay what you want! updated since the last time published!

wild magic artificer subclass

includes subclass spells, two brand new artificer infusions, a custom wild magic roll table, and access to magic tattoos!

witch class

a constitution-based half caster class with a brand new way of casting spells to add more strategy and risk to spellcasting. includes nearly 30 curses at levels 3, 10, and 15, including curses specific to your coven. adopt a familiar who grows in power as you do. includes the Enchanter - a coven focused on illusion and utility, the Hedgewitch - a coven focused on heals and buffs, and the Jinx - a coven focused on combat and necromancy. comes with a custom character sheet by bees baldwin. co-created with @beatricexbenedick

#dnd 5e #dnd 5e homebrew #homebrew subclass #homebrew class #HAPPY WITNESS AUTISTIC PEOPLE MONTH #PUTTING HOMEBREW BACK UP #a lot of these are going to be updated since the last drafts and some of the prices discounted #spreading the word much appreciated!! i know people were wanting these back up

[chimera-dog]

im updating my introduction 🥏🐕

im sel, i use he/it pronouns and a bunch of neopronouns, im an agender trans man, i support non harmful identities/good faith identities and contradictory labels (i am crit-inclus), im a xenogender, neopronoun, furry fandom, therian/alterhuman and disabled user, i am mexican and i live here/have been always living in mexico (i speak spanish/español and english/inglés), i have a complex diagnostic (did, ocd, bpd, autism, adhd, psychosis, c-ptsd, depression and anxiety) and no tolerance for mocking or fakeclaiming, my psychiatrists know more than you fellow user, i support self-diagnosis after research and i again, wont tolerate any harassment towards people, also, as a traumagenic system, i will support every system, regardless of origin, its a cruel world for systems, so why make it harder.

queerness is a spectrum, there isnt a right or wrong way to be queer, stop telling people how to identify, we are here for each other, let ourselves be fluid and be free, we are here and we are queer 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

dont interact with me if youre a proshipper or any other similar term, also if you support or are p3do/z0o, pro-contact/neutral-contact/complex contact (i am okay with paraphilias as long as they are consensual between everyone involved, i am pro para, pro recovery and anti contact, i am not here to judge you), anti-recovery, anti sfw agere or petre, makes fun of other people, if you demonize all kinks (not all kinks are bad/harmful) or think that people with kinks should be ashamed (i am pro kink), transphobic, terf, radfem, transmed, truscum, homophobic, racist, antisemitic, ableist, right-wing, doesnt believe in non-binary identities, talks over minorities, anti xenogender/neopronouns, aphobic/anti aspec, radqueer, prat, safequeer, transrace, transabled, transid, anti alterhuman/therian/kin, syscourse (i will support you regardless of the system origin), hates furries or sees the community as gross, makes fun/mocks of species dysphoria, takes transandrophobia as a joke or as if its fake, anti mogai/liom, anti non harmful identities, anti contradictory labels, anti neopronouns.

my blog is sfw and while i may follow very few nsfw accounts i will never interact nor post about them (because this blog is supposed to be 16+), still, dont be weird with me, please.

thanks 🐕❗- sel

#introduction #chimera post

[frasermints]

im going to say this as gently as i can but it probably won't be very because i don't have the energy to elaborate as fully as i need to and this cannot continue to take up space in my head. this is coming from the perspective of someone living in the US partaking in the US (mental) healthcare system

the internet's fascination with (incorrect) self diagnosis (re: if you move your hips to the side when walking around a desk you're autistic!) paired with an aging traumatized population and skewed resource distribution has done a lot more damage to the greater mental health scene in the last four years than i think any of us want to admit

if you have been diagnosed with something between now and march 13, 2020 - ESPECIALLY if it was before march of 2022 - you need to get reevaluated from scratch in person (if you are able to) by someone that will develop an actual relationship with you. not by a telehealth ghost psychiatric service and joint pharmacy that will throw adderall or zoloft at you for $15 a month (!!!)

trauma acts like 90% of the mental health issues 15-35 year olds are posting about. PTSD presents with nearly every symptom known to man. treating it improperly will kill you. i'm really really tired of listening to people on tiktok give mental health advice that's being parroted by actual LCSWs and LMHCs/CCMHCs and PMNHPs when it's just... flat out incorrect at best and actually life threatening and dangerous at worst.

is there a very real issue with supply and demand of controlled substances in this country? yes. is there a very real issue with accessibility of therapeutic and diagnostic appointment setting for disabled clients? yes. the answer to both of these is not creating ghost pharmacies and practices that do not follow up with patients and commonly commit patient abandonment. it is much more involved than that and it cannot be solved through services like hims and hers and donefirst and helloklarity and fucking onlinepsychiatrists dot com are you serious

i understand that the mental health space in this country is difficult and dangerous and hostile to navigate. especially in a small town it is inhospitable for marginalized people. you are preaching to the choir when you're saying that to someone like me. but i'm just very frustrated when people immediately turn to "just get your drugs online, obviously your problem is X"

there is no obviously in mental health. there is NEVER an obviously in mental health. i hallucinate. i hear voices. i see things. i have manic and psychotic episodes. i experience intense waves of suicidal ideation and depression. i dissociate, often. i have impulse spending issues. i have problems with obsessive thoughts and compulsive movements. i have severe offset sleep issues. i have anger issues. i have attention issues. i have some pretty insane intrusive thoughts. do you want to know my current diagnosis?

ptsd (and technically adult gender dysphoria, but.)

i have had a laundry list of others come and go. bipolar 2, MDD, GAD, schizoaffective disorder, insomnia, BPD, OCD, ADHD, autism, intermittent psychosis - just to name a few.

four psychiatrists and 12 years to get to the root of the problem. 60+ years of experience could not give me a straight answer. i really don't want to be that asshole but i don't think some googling and perusing social media and one (1) visit with someone that's not intimately aware of you and your history is going to make safe and calculated decisions wrt your health.

establishing a relationship with one person (after doing some shopping!! look around!! get a sense of the vibes!!) is so so so necessary.

as always - this does not apply to the people it... does not apply to. if you cannot afford appointments, don't have insurance, etc. this is primarily targeting the people that have simply decided that using these services is more convenient than calling someone - even though it is available to, and within reach for, them.

we cannot improve a fundamentally broken system by continuing to break it. it frustrates me that that's what we're doing. making and buying teslas won't save the planet, seeing a therapist from betterhelp will not fix your childhood trauma.

#my post #i'm 100% gonna delete this in 5 minutes i'm just upset