#me in the paddock: i just think we all need to give ourselves and each other a little more grace <3 do some metta meditation <333

[anoutlandishfanfic]

Metamorphosis Chapter 27: Nesting

Huzzah!! I’m so excited to finally bring you Chapter 27!! You can catch up on where we left off in Ch26 HERE (since its been awhile), or head on over to the master list. Metamorphosis is also up to date at AO3!

The Premise: What if Claire had conceived on her wedding night with Jamie? How would that change the plot points we all know and love?

Ch27 fits in the Season One finale episode of the show, or towards the end of the book timeline. Claire and Jamie have OFFICIALLY left Scotland’s shores and are on their way to safety in France!

Claire. Midday, February 21st, 1744; Somewhere in the English Channel

I shifted cautiously on the outrageously uncomfortable crate my husband had deposited me on, trying not to make any noise, but it creaked and groaned just as much as my aching joints were at present — tattling my discomfort to Jamie, who I swore had batlike hearing.

“I have the bucket jus’ here,” Jamie commented cautiously from somewhere behind me, alluding to the fact that I had absolutely nothing left in my stomach after several bouts with the receptacle.

“Do ye need it again?”

“No,” I bit out as the muscles in my lower back spasmed, a band tightening around my waist with an increasingly bothersome intensity.

What I needed was to move around… to be able to stretch my stiff limbs and appease my offended muscles. I voiced this suggestion — a slow turn about the room with assistance — and a sudden, Scottish noise of amused non-committance sounded from my left.

Snapping my head in Murtagh’s direction, I found him bracing his weight casually against a post, one arm raised as he held onto a beam just above his head. The ship heaved just then and I could see the tendons in his wrist tighten as he steadied himself.

He caught my gaze and lifted brow as if to say ye’d fall on yer arse in a moment, lass.

I sighed, abandoning his support and craned my neck in search of my husband. The room was dim and stacked high with crates and bundles, easy enough to lose track of a bored yet always curious Jamie.

He’d made no comment in support or negation of my request, but was currently choosing to remain out of sight.

“What are you up to over there, anyway?” I eventually huffed when it became clear that neither of them had any intention of helping me.

“Ach, tis nothin’,” he tried to dismiss my attention, which piqued Murtagh’s in turn and drew the older man to his side like a magnet.

“Just a wee bit of putterin’ to pass the time is all.”

An amused sound of delight came from the elder of my two companions and I heard him slap Jamie on the back… hard.

Making no effort to hide my amusement, I heard my husband begin to protest the joyful abuse befallen him but his words were interrupted by Murtagh’s enthusiastic, “Now how’d ye manage that, ye wee fiend?!”

There was an exchange of heated Gaelic conversation — so overlapped that I was confident I’d have a hard time following even if they were speaking English — and then I quite suddenly found myself being lifted by my elbows and carted off to the other side of the room!

I objected strongly as my hips screamed in protest at their pace and was about to dig my heels in and balk completely when we came to a screeching halt before what looked remarkably like a bed.

“How the bloody fucking hell—“ my voice broke and I stared down at my husband’s miracle in disbelief, then turned to look up at him in awe.

“God, I love you, James Fraser.”

Murtagh cackled with glee at this and Jamie bent his head to kiss me in support of my declaration. I expected a quick peck on the cheek or a rather brief smooch on the lips — we didn’t exactly have the room to ourselves — but was taken aback by a kiss that made a thrumming warmth begin to grow between my legs. The heat spread across my hips and up my spine, loosening my muscles and made me feel quite suddenly completely and utterly exhausted.

I sighed as he pulled away, inquiring, “When can I crawl in?”

“Now if ye like,” one shoulder rose in a shrug and Jamie explained his construction plans. “That is, if ye dinna mind us building a wee fence around ye.”

“A fence?” I stared up at him incredulously.

“Oh, aye!” This came from Murtagh. “We canna have ye rollin’ aboot, now can we?”

Jamie caught the glare that his godfather missed entirely — being that he stood between the two of us — and bit his lip in a failed effort not to betray the mirth that clearly bubbled up inside him.

“Think of it more as a wee nest than a paddock, Sassenach,” he chose his words more carefully, then realized he quite liked them and patted my arm rather patronizingly. “A wee nest for my mother hennie, aye?”

“As long as I’m not a wallowing sow,” I grumbled, making Jamie choke in an effort to conceal a laugh.

This assuaged me a good deal and I felt myself smile a bit as I prodded him in the ribs, “Are you going to help me with my shoes or am I to track mud all over your beautiful nest?”

Jamie perched me on a nearby crate and knelt to shed me of my shoes. There wasn’t much to the flimsy things and what they were composed of was now completely sodden in mud and sea water that they all but fell off my feet with his guidance. He set them neatly aside and began to rub my aching feet, bringing warmth and a rush of blood back into the extremities with a burning pins and needles sensation.

I winced and his face contorted in contrition.

“Christ, I’m sorry, a leannan,” he crooned, keeping up his blessed work. “Ye deserve a proper bed and a fire ragin’ in the hearth…  no’ this lumpy mess wi’ barely even a plaid to keep ye warm.”

Reaching out my hand, I brushed the curls from his brow and cupped his cheek in my palm, “You know I’m not above sleeping on the ground.”

Though I thanked my lucky stars it wouldn’t come to that just now.

“And I have you to keep me warm,” I nudged him with my toe, making Murtagh cough behind me.

Jamie gave him a look, but his gaze softened as it returned to me, “Aye, well, I only wish I could give ye more.”

My hand moved to the place where one of the baby's heels pressed sharply against my side and I reached for him. His hand moved to mine, slipping beneath it to feel the life within.

“You’ve given me more than I could ever dream,” I whispered hoarsely.

…

Jamie.

“Lay with me?”

The flicker of uncertainty in Claire’s eyes cut me to the quick.

Did she really think I wouldn’t?

Nodding, I made quick work of my own filthy shoon and dropped them beside the entrance to the cove of safety Murtagh and I had built for her.

Her wee nest.

The thought warmed me and brought a smile to my lips as I gingerly crawled in beside my wife.

“Always, mo nighean donn,” I assured her, arranging the plaid around us both as I curved my form around hers.

It dawned on me in an instant that it wasn’t my presence she doubted… it was her ability to fall asleep. She looked dog tired and pale as any winter’s snow, but now that I had her in my arms, her restless spirit was made clear.

Claire shifted her hips, first this way then another, always finding it unsuitable and moving back… then tried adjusting her head and shoulders, first moving closer to me — I received a an accidental elbow to the ribs but didn’t comment — then away again, all without success until she was left completely spent and utterly exhausted.

I had loosened my arms around her, giving her full range of motion to seek the best position for sleep, but now that I knew this was an impossible task — I thought I might have a try.

Pulling her close without ceremony, I tucked her head neatly beneath my chin and curled my knees up to surround her completely. I felt the taut muscles of her back and shoulders begin to loosen against my chest as I twined my fingers between hers, our clasped hands resting gently atop the swell of our children.

A deep, shuddering sigh left her and I knew she’d not last much longer. I squeezed her hand gently, whispering, “I’ve got you, Sorcha… you can rest now, all is well.”

Another ripple of fatigue ran down her spine, her muscles slowly succumbing to the heavy weight of slumber and becoming limp. The vice grip on my forearm loosened, her head slipping back and resting fully against my arm. Her lips parted softly in that first sigh of sleep — in the way of hers that I found so irresistible — and I knew she’d not wake for anything save the second coming of Christ Himself.

I tucked a stray curl back into place behind her ear, brushing a kiss across her cheek, and settled myself more comfortably beside her.

My eyelids were growing heavier and heavier as I caught sight of my godfather. He’d positioned himself between us and the door, far enough away as to give us a measure of privacy but close enough to respond to a call for assistance at the drop of a hat. Everything about his rigid posture made me lose my resolve to stay alert beside my wife and sleep came crashing down around my ears.

It was a shallow, dreamless slumber — the sort where you know you mustn’t drift too far, should you need to be fully wakeful again — and I didn’t think I’d been out long before Claire began to stir in my arms.

She curled inwards, her knees tucking up tight against the swell of our children as a low groan escaped her lips.

The nightmare.

We were each cursed with our own nocturnal demons, but my wife found hers to manifest themselves in reoccurring dreams... the most prominent and prevalent being the one born in the depths of Crainsmuir’s Thieves Hole. It hadn’t stopped twisting and turning in these many months and I would be lying if I said my blood didn’t run cold when she’d tell me of the night’s latest development, sobbing into my chest as though both the bairns and I were truly gone.

“Shh, mo chridhe,” I murmured low, curving myself around her. “Tis but a dream… I’ve got ye.”

Her entire body tensed and her eyelids flickered, but she didn’t wake.

Sweeping away the curls from her brow, I gently brushed my finger along the curve of her cheek, intoning, “Ye’re safe, Sorcha.”

Claire’s eyes opened at her name, yet stared ahead unseeing. The muscles of her jaw worked as she clenched it tight and a short burst of air left her nose in a decided snort. Her hands moved restlessly, reaching for me but then drifting back to her stomach, only to roam up and down and nearly every direction at once.

I covered one hand with my own, twining my fingers through hers — not speaking again, but letting her know I was aware of her turmoil.

Her head snapped towards me at my touch, her eyes widening as wheezed, “Jamie!”

“Aye,” I shifted onto one elbow, bringing my face directly above hers as I hovered above her. “I’m right here… I’ve got you.”

She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut again without comment.

Was she fully conscious?

“Claire?” I tested, gazing down at her in concern as her jaw clenched tight.

She didn’t open her eyes so much as a crack but let out a grumbled fuck from between persed lips. I dropped her hand, my own flying to her face. Her eyes did open then at my touch, ever so slightly, and she peered up at me in agony.

Something was terribly wrong.

“Talk to me, Claire,” I begged, my heart racing.

Shoving me away, she thumped the narrow space in front of her and groaned, “Move over here.”

I scrambled around her, careful not to jostle her from her current position but finding it near impossible to wedge myself between her knees and the wall of crates behind me. Somehow managing to accomplish it, I lay nose to nose with her and could now see her flushed face in startling clarity in our deeply shadowed cocoon.

Her breathing remained ragged, with drops of sweat gathering at her temples as she lay rigid in my arms.

“Tell me wha’ to do, mo nighean donn.”

“Make it stop,” her voice cracked, the jagged edge of her supplication knifing across my heart and flaying me wide before her.

My mind spun as my thumb caressed her cheek, wiping away the sudden dampness that I found there. Skimming my hand along her neck and down her spine, I found the fastenings of her skirts and had them free in a moment. I bunched them loosely around her, keeping her warm, but no longer restricting her. I moved to do the same for her stays, but found she’d already started the process.

Pulling the strings completely free, I flung the constricting thing to the side and took her face in my hands.

“A wee bit better?” I tentatively asked, knowing it was nothing compared to the turmoil inside her.

She didn’t respond, having instead retreated miles within herself in the time it took me to undress her, and I did the only thing I could think of to retrieve her.

Kissing her softly to begin with — not wanting to jar her and giving her full opportunity to refuse me — I cupped her cheek in my palm. She shifted, seeking more of me, and I grew more confident in my ministrations.

I slid my fingers into her hair and slowly gathered each pin, intently undoing the neatly coiffed style she’d worked so hard on this morn as I worked to rid the tension from her body. Setting my bounty aside, my hands traveled back down to her hips, digging my thumbs into the muscles that I knew continually plagued her.

A moan bubbled up from deep within her and I knew I was moving in the right direction.

“Aye, tha’s the way,” I crooned as her arms slipped around my neck, her nose nuzzling my cheek.

“Damn it, Jamie,” she sobbed against me. “It hurts.”

I didn’t comment, but nodded and kissed her again, keeping my hands moving as well. A shudder ran down her spine as she nearly swallowed me whole, finding suddenly a respite — an ability to draw from me that which she needed.

And I was only too eager to give it.

Slowly, ever so slowly, her arms loosened around my neck...the taut muscles beneath my fingertips became lax and Claire became limp once more in my arms.

“A dhia, mo chridhe,” I sighed, my lips moving against her neck, “ye scared the life near out of me.”

I felt her groan, her voice dry as she quipped, “Well, it was no picnic for me either, you bloody Scot.”

A measure of relief washed over me, hearing her vocal jab, but reality still hung heavy in the air.

“Tha’ was different, Sorcha,” I whispered hoarsely, my good fingers splaying wide across the curve of her children. “The other pains ye had at the Abbey… they were’na like that.”

Her grip on my arm tightened as she tipped her head back, needing to see my face as much as I needed to see hers. Lifting one hand to my face, her fingers deftly traced my cheek bone, her eyes gazing deep into mine. They were now free from the fog of pain, but instead of clarity, I found agonized turmoil.

I covered her hand with my own, curling my fingers around it as I turned my face to place a kiss in her palm.

…

Claire.

How I longed to close my eyes and slip back into that blessed, deep slumber in my husband’s arms… but every inch of me was now wide awake, whether I liked it or not.

I was now having bonafide contractions… whether I liked it or not.

Swallowing hard, I felt a shudder run down my spine and Jamie instinctively pulled me closer. I did close my eyes then, turning and burying my face in his neck as I hid from his gaze for a moment.

He knew — damn him — without me having to say it out loud. I was rather glad, for I wasn’t entirely sure I could say the word ‘labor’ aloud just now without dissolving into hysterics.

What the bloody hell are you going to do, Beauchamp? I mentally sighed against Jamie’s chest.

Was I really going to have to do this without a midwife? Twice? And while bobbing along in a dingy at sea?!

“Jamie?” my voice cracked, betraying my abject terror.

His hand traveled up my back, lifting to gently curve around the back of my head, “Mo chridhe?”

My mouth opened and shut like a floundering fish, no longer suffocating from the strength of my contraction but the size of my fear. A low rumble started up within him and I knew in an instant he’d heard my unspoken thoughts.

“Aye,” he acknowledged, softly kissed my brow. “But ye canna change things any more than I can make this ship sail faster… although, I’d get out and swim it to France if I thought t’would get ye there faster.”

I couldn't help but smile at that particular image and Jamie must have taken great comfort in it, for he continued.

“Tis my fault, ye ken… I should no’ have taken ye in such a manner last night.”

I snorted, finally moving to look at him once more, “If you recall, James Fraser, I brought you to that pool with the exact purpose of taking you in such a manner… so don’t you dare apologize for it.”

His shoulders began to shake in suppressed laughter and I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Care to share what’s so funny?” I poked him in the ribs.

“You are Sassenach,” he grinned, easily taking hold of both my hands to prevent future attacks and squeezed them gently. “Ye’ve never wanted me so badly… or so openly as ye did last night.”

“Oh,” I commented quite lamely, finding myself blushing for the first time in quite a while.

This made my husband laugh all the harder and I resorted to kicking him in the shins as he currently had possession of my hands.

“Will you help me sit up or are you just going to lie there and find humor in my depraved state?” I quipped, raising a brow.

Jamie eagerly agreed to this and dropped my hands, easily moving himself into a seated position before guiding me into the same. I sat beside him, swaying slightly, and realized a half a moment later that we were completely alone in the captain’s quarters.

“Where’s Murtagh?” an uneasy feeling began to grow in the pit of my stomach as I asked.

“Tis nothin, Sassenach,” Jamie tried to reassure me, but it was clear that he wasn’t overly comfortable with his godfather’s absence either. “Jus checkin’ in wi’ the Captain is all… he’ll ken how long til we reach Le Havre when he gets back.”

The urgent, persistent twinge started up again at the base of my spine and I swore under my breath.

“Too long,” I pronounced, reaching for Jamie’s arm and taking a firm hold of it.

He studied me for a moment, then nodded and took a deep breath.

“Then we’ll take it one step at a time… aye?” His hand covered mine, “Together.”

...

Murtagh. A Good Deal Later.

The door swung closed behind me with a solid bang, shutting out a snowy stramash unlike any I’d ever seen. The warmth of the Captain’s quarters rolled over me like the tumultuous sea outside its walls and I sagged against the door for a moment, letting it thaw my fingers and tip of my nose.

Hrmph, I snorted, wiping the dripping appendage on my sleeve and ridding myself of near an inch of snow and ice.

“Tis jus’ me,” I greeted, unable to see them from the room’s one and only entrance.

I heard movement and subdued voices, but no answer to my call. Frowning, I quickly navigated my way around boxes and crates until I reached them — and stopped dead in my tracks.

“Iffrin,” I muttered as I took in the pile of Claire’s discarded clothes and found her in nothing but her shift and Jamie’s plaid, clinging to him as if life itself depended on it.

Her time had come.

I raked a hand across my face and sank down onto the closest crate. It was lower to the floor than I thought, making it seem as though it weren’t there at all, and a wheezing oof left my lips as my hind end finally found it.

When I looked up, both Jamie and Claire were gazing at me with no small amount of amusement. I disregarded my godson’s jesting smile with ease and instead turned my attention to the young woman who had stolen both our hearts.

Her face was pale, with furrows etched deep in the usually smooth plane of her brow. The spark of amusement in her eyes was dwindling quickly and in its place grew a consuming agony that I couldn’t bear to see.

“Yer pains have begun, then, mo leannan?” I asked unnecessarily, my voice hitching at the endearment she’d earned in our time together.

Claire nodded, trying to give me her best attempt at a smile. It wobbled and faded as she pressed her forehead against Jamie’s, her eyes sliding shut as she commented hoarsely, “They seem to be in a hurry.”

My heart turned over, skipping a beat before clattering on again as I heard the Captain’s words echo in my mind.

We’ll be lucky to find Le Havre at all in this storm… twould be another day a’ least on fair seas, but now? Best be prayin tha’ my men dinna toss yer lady overboard to appease Neptune himself.

Jamie’s gaze found mine again, this time much more subdued, and asked, “What’d ye learn, then?”

I lifted one shoulder and tried to wave him off. It was nothing I wanted to share while Claire was in such a state.

“A goistidh?” he insisted, lifting a brow.

Taking his cue, I slipped into the Gaelic, telling him of my conversations with the Captain and his superstitious men. He took it about as well as I had, working to keep his frustrations in check as Claire seemed to regain some composure and alertness.

“I dinna think we’ll make it in time,” Jamie kept his voice even, but his unease was palpable. “We’ll have to help her deliver the bairns.”

While I’d expected as much, his second pronouncement took me completely by surprise and I burst, “We?! Ye canna be serious, lad! She needs a midwife, not a couple of numpties wi’ no idea what they’re about!”

Claire sighed heavily and I realized too late that I’d said that in English. I began to apologize, but she waved me off, interrupting me.

“You may have no idea what you’re about, my dear Murtagh,” she muttered, seeking a comfortable seated position, “but Jamie does because I’ve told him what will need doing… and you’ll listen to him and do as he says, is that clear?”

She’d stopped shifting to spear me with a look that had me agreeing in an instant.

The look of relief on her face was nearly my undoing and I assured her, “I’ll do whatever ye need, mo rùinean beag...  I promise it.”

Claire reached out her hand to me and I plucked it up, brushing a kiss across her knuckles.

“I know you will,” she whispered hoarsely, squeezing my hand. “You always do.”

#outlander #outlander fanfic #Metamorphosis AU #chapter 27 #nesting

[cathwritestragediesnotsins]

Unconventional

Alpha!Daryl x Alpha!Reader

Summary: Y/N fears her feelings for Daryl, thinking he couldn’t possibly want to make things work with another Alpha, could he?

A/N: I made T-Dog and Glenn Omegas for the sake of the storyline.

Word count: 2,641

I huff as I stomp away from another fight with the stubborn redneck alpha. Carol raises her brows in question at me as I march toward the camp, leaving Daryl to go out searching by himself. Again.

“Unbelievable.” I mutter. 

“He’s not the only one who wants to find Sophia! But he acts like he’s got dibs on looking for her or something! Like it’s his job and nobody else’s!” I complain animatedly, taking a seat on the picnic table situated under the tree Carol’s clothes line is hanging on. “Does he really think he can find her all by himself??”

“Goodness knows what goes on in any Alpha’s head” Carol says, shooting me a pointed glance. I give her a ‘you’re-not-helping’ look in return. She just laughs and shakes her head. “Why don’t you help me with this while you complain about Daryl.” she requests.

 I huff in annoyance and then groan in protest, slumping in my seat dramatically before finally pushing myself up and shuffling over to help the grey-haired woman. 

We work in silence for a bit before Carol speaks up “When are you going to do something about your infatuation with Daryl?” she asks.

 I turn sharply to face her, 

“What? I’m not infatuated with Daryl! He’s an Alpha!” I defend lamely. The woman gives me another pointed glance, “Mhm, ok, sure.” she says sarcastically, making it clear she doesn’t believe me. “I’m not!” I insist, movements becoming unnecessarily aggressive as I continue hanging clothes up to dry. 

“Then why haven’t you shown any interest in any omegas? You avoid T-dog and Glenn like the plague since they’re unclaimed!” there’s a long drawn out pause as I refuse to acknowledge her words. She sighs “There’s nothing wrong with two Alpha’s being together...” Carol suggests open-endedly. 

I sigh, avoiding eye contact. “That’s not how it works and you know it.” I argue. “And who decided there were rules to love?” she counters. 

“Woah woah woah no one said anything about love! I am NOT in love with Daryl ok?” 

Carol finally halts her work  and turns to face me, reaching over to stop my movements as well. 

“Aren’t you though?” 

My eyes dart up to make contact with hers at that, lips parting, about to protest.

“Y/N, I’ve seen the way you look at him, like he’s everything to you. It’s the same way Rick looks at Lori. And Daryl looks at you like that too! Fuck the rules!” Carol says, raising her voice and then remembering where we are. She glances around to make sure Carl isn’t anywhere near by before continuing at a lowered volume. “Fuck how things are ‘supposed to work’! If you want to be with him than you are the only thing stopping you.” she encourages, squeezing my hands comfortingly. 

I shake my head, “I don’t know Carol, what if he doesn’t want this? And even if he does what if he changes his mind later? He’s an Alpha, I don’t want to be the one to stop him from finding happiness with an Omega.”

Carol huffs out a gentle laugh, “Have you ever thought that he might be scared of that same thing?” My brows furrow in thought. “No, I guess I haven’t”  Carol nods understandingly, 

“Look, all I’m saying if that if you two love each other why not give it a shot?” Carol says, quirking an eyebrow at me before turning back to the clothes line. 

We continue to work in silence after that as I think about what she said. Could two Alphas make a relationship work? It wasn’t unheard of but it definitely wasn’t a common occurrence and there was a reason for that. 

Could Daryl and I be a part of the small statistic of Alpha/Alpha mating that stood the test of time?

                                                       ~~~

I came darting out of the house the second I heard a gunshot ring out across the Greene’s property, the screen door banging open and closed loudly in my hurry to see what was wrong. I pulled out the knife strapped to my thigh and ran as fast as my legs would carry me toward the group of people in the paddock. 

“What’s going on??” I asked as soon as I was within shouting distance. Glenn jogged ahead of where I could see Shane and Rick dragging a limp body toward the house. “Andrea shot Daryl!” he informed. My eyes widened in panic and my mouth dropped open but before I could say anything Andrea and Dale were running towards us, the former screaming “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, is he dead??” I followed after the duo, getting closer so I could check on Daryl. 

“Unconscious. Ya just grazed him” Rick informed as he and Shane continued marching swiftly to the farmhouse.

“Well look at him, what the hell happened?? He’s-he’s wearing ears!” Glenn cried, gesturing to Daryl’s chest where sure enough walker ears were strung around Daryl’s neck by an old shoelace. Rick quickly ripped the make-shift necklace from around Daryl’s neck as we neared Hershel who was standing concernedly just off the porch. “Let’s keep that to ourselves” Rick mutters as he shoves the string of ears into his shirt pocket. 

“Guys!” T-dog spoke up just then, trailing behind the group and staring in awe at something in his hands “Isn’t this Sophia’s?” he questions, holding up a ragdoll for the group to see. I gasped the tiniest bit when I saw the familiar toy. Rick and Shane stopped and turned, everyone’s faces holding grim expressions as we realized what this might mean. The two shared a look before resuming their current task. “Take him to the spare bedroom down the hall, Maggie show them where it is.” Hershel ordered, joining the group of people following the three men in concern. Maggie nodded and Beth yanked open the screen door for her sister and the trio behind her, Hershel turning and blocking the doorway for the rest of us “Stay out here, I need space to work” he demanded before finally letting the door swing shut behind him.

I ran my dirty fingers through my hair, tugging at it and breathing rapidly as I tried desperately not to break down. “Do you think he’ll be ok?” a voice behind me said and it provided the perfect distraction. Suddenly I felt white-hot anger spreading through my body and I turned on my heel, hair flying as I whipped around to face the blonde woman. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you??” I roared. “How could you shoot him!” Andrea’s expression crumpled as I marched towards her but Dale stepped between us. “Woah, Y/N, she thought he was a walker!” “So?? Don’t make excuses for her Dale! Even if it had been a walker she would have put more people in danger by using a gun but she just had to show off and if she wasn’t such a shit shot she would’ve killed Daryl!” I pushed past Dale and shoved an accusing finger into Andrea’s collarbone. “You and your pride have been nothing but trouble for this group. You’d better get your shit together and under control or Daryl won’t be the only one with a bullet in his head.” I hissed venomously, giving her one final withering glare before stomping off to my tent to calm down

.Once I reach it I shove the flap aside, crouching to go inside and falling to my knees on top of my rumpled sleeping bag. Tears began to run down my cheeks as my fear caught up with me fully. I dissolved into a mess of overwhelming sobs, hugging myself as if to keep from falling apart.

 I could’ve lost him.

                                           ~~~~~~

I roll my eyes as laughter from the dining room filters under the closed door to the room where I’m sitting, keeping an eye on Daryl. I can’t believe they’re out there having a dinner party and pretending like everything is peachy when Hershel expects us to leave as soon as Carl recovers, Sophia is missing and Daryl has just been shot. A scoff escapes my lips. 

“What’s got you all worked up?” 

I jumped a bit, turning to see Daryl peeking at me through barely opened eyes in the low lamplight from the bed. 

“Hey, how are you feeling?” I ask, getting up from my chair to go sit on the end of the bed. I reach forward to remove the cloth from Daryl’s forehead and though he watches me skeptically, unsure of what I’m doing, he doesn’t try to stop me or flinch away. He grunts in answer to my question as I submerge the washcloth into the basin of water on the bedside table and ring it out before replacing it on his head in an attempt to cool his hot skin. 

“You didn’t answer the quest’n” he points out. I huff out a humorless laugh and shake my head. “Nothin’, just can’t believe that bitch shot you.” I excuse. He grunts again, reaching up to feel the bandage wrapped around his head “Knew one of ‘em would sooner or later.” I roll my eyes at his self-depreciating joke, but a smile creeps onto my lips anyway. We’re quiet for a moment after that. I’m too caught up in my own head to notice the curious look Daryl is giving me. I feel myself begin to slowly unravel as intrusive thoughts flicker through my mind. The same thought that has been haunting me all day repeats over and over in my head: I could’ve lost him. My breaths are shaky and quiet and I keep my eyes focused on the floor. “Hey,” Daryl calls suddenly, snapping me out of my trance. I glance up at him uncertainly, trying to gage how much he noticed just now. When I see the concerned look he’s giving me I force a smile. Daryl remains unconvinced. 

His hand reaches for mine that rests on the bed next to his shyly, a silent plea to tell him what’s wrong. I watch his fingers intertwine with my own, loving the feeling of his rough skin against mine. It takes me a couple minutes to sort of the words, and work up the courage to say them but Daryl is patient, rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand soothingly. Suddenly my eyes dart up to connect with his and I feel this undeniable pull. I was so scared. Without warning, I move as if on impulse, sliding over Daryl’s lower legs under the quilt to the other side of them bed and crawl up toward the headboard, curling up and hiding my face in Daryl’s side.

I can feel him tense, knowing I caught him off-guard, but he doesn’t pull away, instead, lifting his arm to wrap around my shoulders comfortingly. Tears flood my eyes again and I whisper, just loud enough for him to hear “You scared me.” I admit. My voice sounds so fragile; vulnerable. But that’s the thing about my relationship with Daryl, he understands that being afraid doesn’t make me any less brave, needing help doesn’t make me any less capable. He takes every part of me without question, respecting me while at the same time being there for me whenever I need him. And in return I do the same. That’s why our relationship works so well, why I’ve never been interested in an Omega. 

“I’m ok.” he finally replies, leaning over to press a delicate kiss to the crown of my head. 

“Don’t leave me.” I whimper, the words slipping past my lips without meaning them to.

“Never.” Daryl replies instantly. “You’re stuck with me for as long as ya want me.” he says, chuckling. 

I pull away to look him in the eye. “I always want you.” I tell him truthfully, the events of today giving me the surge of confidence needed to tell him how I felt. “I want you for the rest of my life.” I say earnestly, needing him to know that, even if he doesn’t want me the same way. His eyes widen in surprise and he studies me for a few quiet moments, searching my features for any sign of a lie. 

“But...what about your Omega?” he questions hesitantly. I laugh, “Daryl, I’ve never wanted an Omega. I only want you.” a small gasp escapes his lips at my words, our hearts both beating wildly in our chests. He reaches up timidly to brush a few stray hairs out of my face. “Are you sure?” he says and I can hear how tight his throat is in his voice. I nod firmly, watching him closely, trying to figure out what he could be thinking. 

“Al’ight” he says suddenly.

I tilt my head, my brows furrowing in confusion, “Alright what?” 

“I want that with you too.” he says, too shy to meet my eyes as he says it. Only when he finally glances up at me does he see the large grin that has taken over my face. A smile of his own makes its way onto his face when he sees the happiness glinting in my eyes. 

Without giving myself time to overthink I lean forward, taking his face in my hands and pressing my lips to his. It takes him a moment for him to recover from his shock but then he immediately returns the kiss, his facial hair scratching at my face pleasantly. I scoot forward on my knees to get better access and he leans his head back to adjust to the new position. His hands find their way to my hips and he pulls me onto him so that I’m straddling his lap while one of my hands smooths up the back of his neck into his hair, tugging lightly. He grunts in satisfaction at the action, deepening the kiss.

All of the sudden the door to the bedroom pushes open, Daryl and I both pulling away from each other in shock to see Carol standing in the doorway, a surprised look on her face. I quickly move off of Daryl’s lap, my cheeks tinting pink with embarrassment. 

“Oh, sorry, I just came to bring you some dinner,” Carol says, opening the door wider and producing a tray. She smirks and sets it down on the bedside table “but don’t let me interrupt. It’s about time you two got together!” she says mischievously. “Carol!” I say, my mouth hanging open in shock at her forwardness. She giggles and dodges the pillow I throw at her. “Have fun!” she calls before swinging the door closed and disappearing from sight. 

“YOU’RE DEAD TO ME!!” I call out after her, huffing and slumping back against the footboard of the bed.

I turn back to Daryl, expecting him to look mortified at the interruption but he’s just looking at me with a small, fond smile. “What?” I question, “Why are you looking at me like that?” “Nothin’, you’re just cute is all.” he replies, shaking his head while the smile still tugs at his lips. I fake gasp, placing a hand on my chest in mock offense. “Excuse you! I’m not cute, I’m an Alpha!” I say, narrowing my eyes at him. He chuckles, reaching out for me and tugging me closer. I give in to his pull, collapsing on top of him, my body draped over his, our legs tangled together and my chin resting on his chest just below his collarbone “I know, and I love you Alpha.” he says. I can’t stop the grin that breaks out on my face, so wide that my cheeks begin to hurt. I push myself up, drawing our faces closer together, stopping with my lips inches from his, our forehead’s leaning against each other “I love you too Alpha”

A/N: I felt like the ending was pretty corny but this has been in my drafts for ages and I couldn’t come up with anything else so here ya go lol

#daryl dixon x plus size!reader #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon #twd #the walking dead #twd reader insert #x reader #norman reedus x reader #norman reedus #twd amc #lori grimes #daryl x y/n #everyone's favorite redneck #the walking dead amc #twd x reader #a/b/o universe #a/b/o twd #posts by cath

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

Little L part 1

(Yandere Johnny Joestar X Female Reader)

Warning: mentioning of attempted suicide

A fifty-million dollar cash prize was enough to have anyone sign away their life to a race as daring as the Steel Ball Run but to you it was more the money at the finish line, it was the promise of health and safety to your older brother whose life had been completely changed after miraculously surviving a horrible case of rabies. What made I worse was that your parents had abandoned you both shortly after, they didn't want a son that may have been quadriplegic for the rest of his life and they surely didn't want a daughter that had a weird eye deformity that made your irises have strange white specks in them. The money was the only way that you believed that you would be able to provide for the two of you. So you brought a horse from a farmer you knew near by. A dark stallion which you named Cosmic girl and then you registered for the Steel Ball Run.

🐎🐎🐎

"Hey (Y/n), look at this guy!" One of the others contestants said as he nudged you while pointing the scene in front. A man was being dragged around the paddock by a horse as he clung on for dear life.

"What the hell is he thinking? He's gonna get himself killed!" You nearly yelled as you started pushing through the crowd in front of you. You gasped in horror as you saw a large piece wood go straight through his leg, but yet this didn't stop him. You hopped over the fence and slowly walked along the edge of the pen. The horse noticed you and slowed down and paced towards you. You held your hand up to it's snout, you felt it take in your scent before lowering it's head as a sign of loyalty.

"I could have gotten on her just fine without your assistance!" The blonde haired male hissed at you.

"Obviously not if you have a large splinter of wood jammed in your leg" you spat. He turned his head behind to look at his leg and sure enough he saw it. You questioned how he wasn't feeling that, surly that must of hurt.

"How are you not feeling that?" You asked, he only gave you a death glare before responding.

"Is that any of your concern!" His voice was filled with anger. This guy was a total jerk but you still wanted to help him for some reason. You held out your hand for him but he simply slapped it away.

"What kind of sick fucking joke are you pulling" he hissed.

"I'm try to help you!" you yelled at him.

"I don't need your charity you star eyed fuckwad!" He screamed before crawling away.

"A cripple has no reason to be here"

"That's Johnny Joestar, he use to be a pretty amazing jockey awhile ago..."

"But after the incident... Well... You know"

"He probably entered to make some big comeback"

"But it's pretty stupid, I bet he won't even survive the first section" the voices muttered in the background and that's when it all started to link up. You began to feel a idiot for holding out your hand when he couldn't even stand himself but it also explained why he was so quick tempered. You just hoped that you could make things up to him.

🐎🐎🐎

You looked at the leaderboard for the first section with a small smile of content on your face. Since Gyro had been disqualified you had slipped into a cosy sixth place, of course it's wasn't the first place that you had been training for but it was a start.

"Move it shortie!" You heard an British accent say as you were pushed aside. He let out hiss in disgust as he saw himself at third place.

"What was that for?" you yelled at him.

"You didn't get out of my way" he bluntly stated as he turned to face you. It was Diego Brando, AKA the prince of British horse racing, total arrogant prick. He shoved past you again as he walked away.

"Fucking twat!" You yelled at him while mimicking the British accent. He stopped and turned back again.

"What was that?" he hissed.

"You heard her you wanker" another mocking British accent chimed in beside you. You looked to see Johnny in his wheelchair beside you.

Diego scoffed.

"Well I have more important things to do then argue with a midgit and a cripple" he huffed as he walked off. You laughed as you pulled your finger and your thumb into the shape of an L on your forehead. Which earned a giggle from the him.

"You did pretty good today" you commented on his fifth place.

"I told you that would been fine" he snickerd.

"You've proven a lot of people wrong" you sighed.

"You did pretty good yourself" he said with a small smirk on his face.

"But if you want to win then you've gotta get past me" he taunted.

"Is there any other way?" You asked retoriclly as you held out you hand, he shook it before replying

"Then let's push ourselves to the limit and give it our all"

🐎🐎🐎

On horse back you two would taunt and slag each other off but once you were off you two were a tightly knitted duo, or trio if you added Gyro into the mix. It seemed like the events that occurred in the devil palm had intertwined your fates. Slowly you climbed up to the top of the leaderboard while still managing to not get killed by any of the assassins that you had crossed paths with and that was with the help Johnny.

Over time a sort of attraction towards you developed. It's wasn't what he would call admiration and it wasn't one he saw as plutonic, it was something more romantic

🐎🐎🐎

"It's a tight one ladies and gentlemen! Diego, Gyro and (Y/n) are neck and neck! If (Y/n) wins it'll be the second first place in a row!" You heard the yell into the microphone, that alone was enough to make your blood pressure skyrocket but you had to keep calm because if you didn't then cosmic girl would lose her stable mobility, in most cases you wouldn't mind but with Diego on you back you knew you couldn't give him that opportunity.

You rubbed Cosmic's sides and whispered.

"We can do this... Just keep calm". You closed your eyes as the the finish line was only metres away.

"(Y/n) and Gyro cross the line then Diego!!"

"It was to close to call! A photo finish!" The announcer howled. You opened your eyes to see that you were over the finish line, Gyro right beside you giving you a thumbs up with his signature smile.

"I totally won that" you slyly responded with a smug look on your face.

"Don't get cocky" he simply replied. You two waited a little while for Johnny to join you both.

"What was that you slowpoke you yelled to the blonde male that was approaching.

"Yeah I though you were better then that" Gyro chimed in.

"Come on give me a break" Johnny replied as he got closer. He then snickered before pointing in Diego's direction, you could see the look of disgust on his face.

"Someone isn't happy coming in third place again" he commented.

"Well look at his horse, they say that if a horse has a asshole of a rider then they'll also be an asshole" you chuckled as you saw his horse stomping and kicking around like a spoilt brat.

"Let's go to the saloon, I dying for a drink" Gyro commented.

"I agree with you there" you replied.

"But I'll check in to our room first" you said as you parted ways with the duo.

🐎🐎🐎

"Mrs (L/N) your in room 34" the lady at the counter said as she handed you the keys.

"Thank you ma'am" you replied as you walked away.

Just as you were about to walk up the stairs you heard a voice call out your name, you turned back to see a messenger running towards you.

"(Y/n)...(L/n)" He he paused between your first and last name, obviously out of breath.

"Yes, that would be me" you responded. He placed a letter with a piece of paper attached to it. Your heart stopped as you saw what the paper was, a telegram, the telegram you feared... You brother had died.

"I'm sorry for your loss" he said before leaving. You quickly ran straight to your room, tears running down your face. He was gone, he was dead, all of this had been a pointless pursuit.

🐎🐎🐎

It had been half an hour since you said you would get the keys to the room and you hadn't shown up, Gyro was already getting disoriented and Johnny was starting to get worried. It didn't take half an hour to to get to the saloon. Thoughts started to swirl in his head, did you you get hurt? Did one of the assassins attack you? Were you being harassed by some of the other competitors.

"Gyro, I'm gonna look for (Y/n)" he said as he tapped the intoxicated Italian's shoulder.

"All right, go ahead..." He replied with a slight slur.

"Just don't go messing around with her, you know danm well that she's like a daughter to me..." He continued.

"As if I can do that" Johnny said  before wheeling himself out of the saloon. Now that Gyro had said that he couldn't stop his mind wondering.

'if a mosquito bite came up so prominently then how would a love bite come up' He bit his lip and a shiver went down his spine as he thought of it.

'you're meant to be looking for her! Not thinking about her in such lewd ways' he mentally screamed as he made his way to the hotel.

When he finally arrived, he asked the lady at the counter and she told him which room you were in. He then let out a groan as he saw the staircase.

'great, just fucking great!' He thought as he pushed himself out of his wheelchair and began to drag himself up them. It took awhile but he made it. He hear sobs coming from the room, he pushed open the door that was slightly ajar.

He saw your silhouette sitting on the the bed closest to the door, one hand holding you head, the other reaching for something. It gleamed in the light, he squinted his eyes to make the object out, a pistol. You brought it up to your head.

"(Y/n)! No!" He yelled as loud as he could before summoning Tusk and shooting the pistol out of you hand.

"Johnny!" You yelped in shock.

"(Y/n) what on earth were you thinking!" He questioned as he crawled to the bedside. You bursted into tears, you hands pulling at you hair.

"My brother's gone!" you nearly screamed.

"Why must god do this to me! He betrayed me! He dismissed my prayers!" You continued.

Johnny was absolutely shocked, he felt such a dreadful and grim feeling wash over him as he watch you scream and cry over your deceased brother.

"Why... Why... Why must life be cruel" you sobbed.

"Hey, (Y/n)... I know how you feel, I lost my older brother too but that doesn't mean you should kill yourself" he said he placed his hand on your thigh in a comforting manner.

"I may have never met him but I'm sure he would have wanted you to live your own life" he continued.

"I'm sure a few drinks might help you make sense of everything"

"I don't know I just-" you were saying before you were cut off by Johnny abruptly pulling you down to his level and planting a kiss on your lips before you pushed him away out of pure suprise, you couldn't even form a proper sentence. So many thoughts swirled in your head, you didn't know how to make sense of what just happened.

It seemed like you had both been frozen for minutes, Johnny looking into your eyes with an endearing expression as he waited for his feelings to be returned. You then finally found you composure and spoke.

"Johnny... I don't know what to think right now, this is all just a bit to sudden... I'm just not so sure how to feel about you right now"

"No I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that... I'll just leave you be since I'm sure I'm just unwelcome company now" he sighed as began to crawl away, hiding his displeasure.

"No! I didn't mean it like that!" You exclaimed as you grabbed onto his arm.

"I... I'm not rejecting you but I'm also not saying yes, I just need some time... Some time to figure out what I'm gonna do for myself"

#yandere x reader #yandere jjba #yandere #johnny joestar #jojos bizarre adventure #jojos #jojo #jojo part 7 #spacy works

[narniakid]

The majority of 2018 I spent educating people about the worst drought in 800 years. The Central Coast listened; we not only banded together to raise thousands of dollars, but we filled an entire truckload of donations to deliver to farmers in Western NSW.

It all began sometime around February, when I can recall seeing an article somewhere about how Australia was currently in drought. My family own and operate Mangrove Produce and Hardware, where we supply hay, grain and feed to locals in the Mangrove Mountain region. My mum had mentioned she was having a bit of trouble sourcing feed, because with no grass for cattle to eat, the demand was quickly rising – and so were the prices.

One night when I was reading statistics and stories about the drought, I stumbled across a charity called Rural Aid, who’d been running their fundraising campaign, Buy A Bale, for some time. The aim was to encourage donors to purchase a bale of hay for a struggling farmer by donating $20 or more.  It was a fantastic idea, and I got in contact with them. At a time when they weren’t a very well-known non-profit nationally, they were eager to send me fundraising materials to help raise money and spread the word.

March 2018: Help my Mum & I raise money for Buy A Bale!

As I asked around friends and family, and began posting about the drought on social media, I found that most didn’t even realize the majority of our own state was in the middle of severe drought. My good friend and photographer Andrew Cooney approached me with an idea; he discussed travelling to the worst of the drought-affected areas to document the damage, and we agreed to team up with our fundraising efforts to educate the Central Coast and just how bad it really was.  Below are some of his photographs from his first visit to a farm in Gunnedah, NSW, and they speak for themselves.

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His photographs caught the eye of Samuel Lentini from Eastcoast Beverages – a local juice company on the Central Coast. Sam decided that he wanted to come on board our fundraising campaign as well, and so – with me still busy collecting our donations, spreading the word, and putting together marketing materials – Andrew and the Eastcoast Beverages team headed to Gunnedah once again, where they delivered a truckload of orange peels from the factory for the cattle to eat. It was such an extraordinary site, it attracted a lot of media attention, including The Daily Telegraph, ABC and Prime 7!

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We spent another few weeks fundraising in person and online, when all of a sudden, the national media seemed to wake up. TV stations and major news publications started to report on all the debt, all the cattle lost, and all the mental struggles the farmers were dealing with.

That was when I met a lady named Sara Evans. She came into my workplace at the radio station, after listening to the breakfast shows discuss the massive impact of the drought. A co-worker steered her in my direction, as I had already been campaigning and fundraising to support our farmers for several months. Sara basically said to me, ‘I’ve got a truck and a driver who’s willing to donate his time, I want to do something really BIG to help these farmers.’

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We both agreed to organize a Coast-wide donation drive, which was a huge job, and we’d only given ourselves a month to plan, market and collect donations leading up to the event day. The idea was to run a drive-through drop-off zone in a central location near the freeway, as we wanted to make it as easy as possible for the public.

We both had a bit of previous fundraising experience, but nothing of this scale, and we hadn’t taken into account exactly just how much help we were going to need – pallets to pack the donations on, a place to sort and store the goods before they were loaded onto the truck, a forklift and qualified driver, traffic control on the day, a LOT of fuel money to get the semi-trailer across the state and back… we’d sort one problem, and then another would arise. And we were juggling this all while still working full-time. It was definitely a giant learning curve for both of us, but we were so incredibly grateful to have the help from dozens of local businesses.

Working for a media company, I was lucky enough to have marketing materials at my disposal – radio interviews and commercials, flyers and posters, and access to our promotional cars to draw listeners in on the day. My whole workplace was extremely supportive, and I am still so thankful to this day for all of their help. I couldn’t have pulled it off without a platform to send out the message across in the first place.

The Central Coast For Our Farmers Donation Drive was a success – while the number of people we had wasn’t as many as we were hoping, the amount that came brought an enormous amount of goods. There were donors who had collected that much dog food, groceries and water that they had to make second and third trips to bring it all to us. We had local schools collect items, business owners filling boxes and boxes of stuff at their workplaces, and families who had added extra items into their trolleys every week when they did their own shopping. It was just phenomenal how much people wanted to help. I certainly didn’t expect collecting enough donations to fill the entire truck, but we did!

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When deciding on where we were going to deliver the donated goods, we had a look into some of the most remote parts of the state, where help hadn’t yet reached. We chose the Packsaddle region, an area about 180km north of Broken Hill. The standout feature of this barren land was a popular venue called Packsaddle Roadhouse on Packsaddle Station, where tourists and truck drivers would often stop to stay the night and grab a feed.  The roadhouse was also home to the local SES Base, and Sara got in contact with the venue owner, who kindly offered up the venue for free to deliver and unpack the donations for the farmers, as well as a place for us to stay the night.

We began the road trip about 2 weeks later, with volunteers from Rotary Gosford North coming along as well. My wonderful Dad offered to drive my partner and I in his car, and on the first day, we traveled 14 hours to Broken Hill. As soon as we passed the Hunter Valley region, it was like entering a different country – the overcast weather and rolling hills of the wine country suddenly turned into flat open plains scattered with gumtrees. Everything was so incredibly dry and brown, it was hard to believe that it was once all green. We passed lots of herds wandering the roadside, with farmers leading them from behind to any patches of greenery they could find – the paddocks had turned to dust, so they were forced to look beyond their own properties for food.

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The halfway point to Broken Hill was a town called Cobar, and that was really when the effects of the drought were evidence. I almost expected a tumbleweed to roll past as we got out of the car for a stretch. From there, it got worse – we passed countless signs marking where rivers once were, now dry as a bone. The amount of dead animals on the roadside almost doubled, and as we drove the endless, straight route towards Broken Hill, there was almost no evidence that it had actually rained 50mm in the previous 24 hours. Most of the puddles had dried up already, and the sudden dump of rain had washed away the top soil on any spring crops that were planted. It was heartbreaking to think that at the time we were travelling, it was supposed to be the peak season for growth, but there wasn’t a blade of green grass in sight.

After a night’s stay in Broken Hill, we drove another 4 hours north to deliver and unpack around 60 pallets of donations. Sara and I had organized a party for all the local farming families at the roadhouse, and some had already arrived when we got there to help us set up.

The people I met were just amazing – the most hardworking, honest and down to earth people who could laugh at anything. The best part was seeing the joy on their faces. These farmers, they’d been stuck in a depression, some had really been struggling to get up to work each day. I feel so humbled and privileged to get to see first hand these people reunite with their neighbors and friends, some who they hadn’t seen for months, but had known all their life. We cooked them a free feed for lunch and dinner, treated them to plenty of free beer and set up the truck as a stage where they sang, danced and partied on till early hours of the morning.

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Most of them owned well over 100,000 acres. I spoke to a beautiful woman who’d lived on the land her whole life. To give you an idea of the size, the entire city of Chicago in the USA is around 149,000 acres – she had 250,000 acres, with a few thousand head of cattle. I asked when she’d last received rain. She laughed and said the last time she can recall was late 2015 – more than 3 years ago.

She had 10 working dogs, and the bagged dog food cost too much, so she was shooting kangaroos for them to eat instead. Each dog needed about 2 kangaroos each for a decent feed, but the ammunition for the bullets cost hundreds as well, with each bullet equaling about $5 each. There were hundreds of goats on her property which she could also shoot and sell (too skinny for the dogs to eat), but their value had dropped to $2 per goat – less than the cost of the bullet needed to shoot them.

This same lady had broken down in tears when we showed her the shed full of donations, because it wasn’t the donations themselves that brought these people overwhelming joy – it was the fact that we had gone to the effort to collect them, bring them out here, and put on a big party for them.

We wanted to show them that we cared beyond just making a cash donation for a farm thousands of kilometers away, we wanted to say ‘we hear you, we know you’re there, and we’re coming to give you a well deserved break from the day-to-day stresses of the big dry.’

Every farmer would only take the bare minimum of what they needed, insisting that there were others that needed it more. It was like a big supermarket; they could grab bags and boxes and fill up their utes with whatever they needed. They put aside boxes and pallets of stuff for their friends and neighbours who couldn’t make it.

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Many had told me that a major problem they’d encountered was the rise of bore water in the area. The water quality from the bore water, due to a substantial increase in bores being put in, meant they had to go deeper, and the little water that they could get was full of poisonous minerals and wasn’t drinkable. Most of the money they had went to buying bottled water and bagged feed, because hay prices had skyrocketed.(My family’s own business was suffering too, and we were getting phone calls from all over the state with people willing to travel hours and hours for any hay available to purchase). A lot had told me in terms of food, water and feed, they were down to about 3-4 weeks supply on hand at a time, because they couldn’t afford to redirect any money to stock up. The donations we brought have added another few weeks’ worth of supplies for them and – as equally as important, if not more – a well needed mental relief.

Andrew and I have continued to raise funds for Buy A Bale, long after I returned from delivering donations with Sara and the Rotary team. We just recently crossed the $19,000 mark, thanks money raised at our local Grill’d restaurants through their Local Matters program. We also raised money through selling merchandise and continuously spreading the word through an online campaign, radio commercials, money tins in our workplaces and articles in local newspapers and magazines.

Despite raising the money and delivering the donations, what truly touched my heart and made this experience stand out from other non-profit work I’ve done was actually travelling there and seeing the devastating impact of drought for myself. It’s one thing to press a button, share an article, give some money, but to actually see the difference it’s making is just extraordinary, and to this day it is one of the most challenging but life-changing things I’ve ever done.

Local businesses are doing it tough and desperately need an economic boost from visitors. A recent NSW Business Chamber survey in regional areas found the drought has negatively impacted more than 84%. Domestic tourism is the backbone of many regional communities, with 86% of domestic travel done by car.

Tourists spent $110 billion in local towns, cities and communities in regional Australia during 2016-17. However, of the international tourists that do visit, over 90% only stay in Sydney or Melbourne.

The best thing you can do to support our farmers is get out and shop in the local shops, eat at the local pubs, and get the money flowing through the local economy again, because the drought affects everyone – not just everyone in these remote towns, but our whole economy.

Drought conditions of NSW as of 24th January 2019 (Source: edis.dpi.nsw.gov.au)

How I Led A Team Of Volunteers to Deliver A Truckload Of Donations & Raise Over $19,000 For Aussie Farmers The majority of 2018 I spent educating people about the worst drought in 800 years. The Central Coast listened; we not only banded together to raise thousands of dollars, but we filled an entire truckload of donations to deliver to farmers in Western NSW.

#australia #charity #climate change #drought #environment #family #farm #farming #fundraiser #fundraising #gift giving #good cause #government #inspiration #media #outback #personal #photography #rural #travel #volunteer #weather #youtube

[heathenbride]

From the Forest, Across the Sea (Part 1)

This is my first fanfiction in a looooooong while so please be patient with me. This is mostly a setup/introduction to the characters

Word Count: 1363

Warnings: Some food mentions but nothing else.

Summary: A Vikings fanfiction following Arlyn as she hears a rumour that sets her off on an adventure that she’ll never forget. 

Under the canopy of the trees nothing seemed to be able to bother the woman. She sat on a rock beside a meandering river with her eyes closed and listened to the world around her. Her mother always said that Arlyn reminded her of a river, calm and serene on the surface with nothing giving away the rushing torrent underneath. The wild side that she shared with most of the men in her family, her mother prayed to the gods that it would skip her only daughter but to no avail.

A twig snapping in the distance brought Arlyn crashing back to reality. She felt for her bow on her lap and with her eyes still closed she traced her fingers over a quiver of arrows by her side. In a flash, she moved to kneel on one knee and drew her bow.

She was met with her brother’s slightly startled face, mouth full of what looked like chicken.

“Dun schoot” he muffled, chicken preventing him from getting his words out properly.

“Brennan.” Arlyn gave a small chuckle “I won’t shoot if you’ve brought food, otherwise I’ll have to attack you for the rest of that chicken.” She gestured to the half eaten chicken leg in his hand.

He swallowed the food still stuffed in his mouth.

“I don’t know. This is pretty good. May even be worth a fight.” He gave a chuckle as he came closer and Arlyn settled her bow back into her lap. When they were young their mother would say that they we’re like twins. They both had the same brown hair, green eyes and talent for getting into and out of trouble.

“I guess I can spare this one though” He pulled another chicken leg from his pack, threw it to her and sat nearby, legs dangling off the edge of the rock so his toes barely skimmed over the water.

“Okay, you can live for now, but I have my eye on you.” She nudged his side gently with her foot as they both laughed.

There was a quiet silence between them for a while. This was broken when Brennan spoke up.

“Father told me that York has fallen.” He seemed somewhat on edge for a second. “We couldn’t gather much information, the Christians are avoiding us. They may come this way so we need to be prepared to fight in case something comes up.”

Arlyn nodded.

“Do we need to scout the area? I can gather a small group and see what we can find.” She offered.

“It’s not my call, Ahri. Father is the one who’s going to be calling the shots. You’ll have to talk to him.” Brennan responded, throwing his chicken bone into the river. He always used that nickname when he tried to convince her of something. “I’d rather you not go though, we can’t have ourselves seen in the area otherwise we may provoke the nearby settlements. We’re hated enough because we won’t bend the knee to their religion.”

Arlyn looked down, it was true. They followed the old gods and often persecuted for their faith. But they had to do something, with prior information they could build proper defences and find their weaknesses in case of attack. There was something about the way Brennan was acting that made her think there was something he wasn’t telling her, but she knew him well enough that pushing the subject wouldn’t help right now. He would tell her in time and if it was important then he would have told her already.

They headed back after a few more hours of talking between each other. The small village coming to view over the horizon, sounds of livestock and the distant murmur of people. The siblings walked the dirt path to their home in the middle. It was unassuming to those who didn’t know what it was, the only landmark was a standing stone near the front door which was marked with protective spells and runes. Entered the great hall which was beginning to come to life with servants setting the tables for the evening feast. Arlyn saw her father sat in his throne talking to one of his guards, when he looked up he beckoned her over with a wave of his hand and a beaming smile. Brennan walked forwards, straight to the kitchen, probably to pick at the food and flirt with some of the serving staff to get extra portions.

“Arlyn, my dear girl. I have not seen you all day.” He stood to offer her a hug

“Sorry about that, I was taking some time to myself for a bit.” She stepped forward to hug her father. After some pleasant conversation about their day and Arlyn trying to slip in about the attack on York, she finally managed it.

“I overheard someone talking about York on my way home, are the rumours true?” she tried her best to act naïve about it.

The king froze for a second before sighing. “I’m not certain. The information came from a peddler trying to sell wares that looked stolen, it could be a ploy to sell stolen goods so they have another excuse to hunt us down.”

“Hasn’t anyone checked?” Arlyn asked as she took a seat at the table closest to him. “Surely you could send someone nearby even just to check.”

“Arlyn. No.” His voice was stern. “You aren’t going to check it out, it’s best that we leave it be.”

“But what if…”

“NO.” He yelled this time, putting and end to the argument once and for all.

After a dull silence and some small talk with the guards people started to pile in to the feast. Soon food, ale and stories were being swapped. Then the singing started, followed by dancing and Arlyn slipping unnoticed from the room.

She gathered her sword and some daggers from underneath her bed and put a few provisions that she stole from dinner in her bag. An apple, a few pieces of pork she had wrapped in cloth and some flat bread. Plenty to see her to York and back if she foraged for berries and roots too.

She waited until the next drunken song started and made her exit. She thought she had made it until a hand wrapped around her arm.

Brennan.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked, amused.

“Where do you think?” I shook his hand off. “We need to know more. What if they come for us next? I couldn’t live with myself if I did nothing when I could have prevented this.”

“I know, Ahri.” He sighed and grabbed his own pack. “Be careful, okay? If you aren’t back in a few days I’m coming to hunt you down.”

Arlyn smiled and gave him a hug before running to the paddock to retrieve her horse and start out on the long journey

The sun was beginning to rise on York, barely poking above the horizon. She had been riding foe hours, sticking to the grass to muffle the horses hooves. She found a place to hitch her horse and moved closer to the town on foot. Ducking between foliage and trees she managed to find herself a vantage point in a low tree branch to scout from. Then she waited, nibbling at some of the pork she packed and taking a mouthful of bread.

It was then she heard voices coming from below her. Arlyn froze, her pack in hand reaching for another piece of bread. They came closer but there was no indication they spotted her. She stayed silent but didn’t notice the apple start to roll from her pack until it was too late. It slammed through the branches and onto the floor.

The voices stopped for a second.

Then they started back up again but sounding a bit more angry and much closer this time. 

Arlyn was getting ready to make a run, then an arrow hit near her head and she fell from the branch into the brush below, hitting her head hard against the floor.

She slipped into darkness even though her mind was screaming at her not to.

The last thing she saw was a man with dark hair and bright blue eyes.

@lisinfleur

#from the forest across the sea #my writing #arlyn #brennan #vikings fanfic #history vikings

[peacefulheartfarm]

A Cancer Diagnosis

A cancer diagnosis is causing temporary changes to the podcast. We have had a cancer diagnosis and that will affect what I am able to do on a daily basis. I will be caring for Scott and picking up a lot of tasks he normally handles. In the end, it looks like he will be fine. However, getting to that end point will entail traveling a very difficult road of chemo and radiation.

I want to take a minute and say welcome to all the new listeners and welcome back to the veteran homestead-loving regulars who stop by the FarmCast for every episode. I appreciate you all so much, even more so right now.

Our Virginia Homestead Life Updates

I’m going to start with a few more details about our health situation and then give you a few livestock and garden updates.

A Cancer Diagnosis

Over the past four weeks we have been to one appointment after another. Specialists, CAT scan, biopsy, surgery and a couple more specialist appointments all in little more than 30 days. Scott has had both tonsils out and the healing for that procedure is quite lengthy for an adult. I’ve been milking the cows on my own and with a little help with the heavy lifting from a neighbor. It has been going pretty well.

Getting things in Order

Scott and I are streamlining as much as possible so we can get through this time period with less stress. We have plenty of cheese stored up, so I will not be making any more cheese for the rest of this milking season. Milking twice a day changed to once a day almost immediately. That reduces the amount of milk that we are handling on a daily and weekly basis. Between the great herd share folks, feeding the calf, making yogurt and having drinking milk for ourselves, I think we will be in good shape here. Oh yeah, and making butter every so often as well.

Cheese Cave Changes

We are changing how we store the cheese in the cheese cave. Scott handles all of that, and rather than me trying to add that to my already full schedule, we are going to try vacuum packing a lot of the cheeses. I’ll let you know how that goes.

Garden Changes

The garden is in full swing and there is not much I can do about that except get out there every day or so and bring in the harvest, process it quickly and move on to the next task. I’ve determined that if I get behind on that, the compost pile will be loving it.

Podcast Changes

The biggest change will be with this podcast. It takes a tremendous amount of time to put out each episode. My plan is to replay some of the older episodes. If you are new this will be a benefit for you. And if you are a long-time listener, I hope you will bear with me as we get through this time. The doctor let me know to expect drastic changes in lifestyle for four to six months. We can do this.

Now for a few homestead updates.

Creamery

Of course, the creamery is completely on hold. This will be my last mention of that for several months.  

Cows

The cows are hanging in there. I’m a little worried about getting hay to them in the winter. I’ll be looking for help from a neighbor or two in that regard. Moving them from one pasture paddock to another is something I can easily handle. But when the grass runs out, they will need hay brought to them. That means someone who knows what they are doing with a tractor. That’s not me. Fortunately, that task can be done once or twice a week in an hour or so and should not be too much of a burden for those helping us through this time.

Sheep

The sheep are hanging out with Mack, the sheepdog. They seem to be getting along quite well. We may add a few sheep back to the flock over the next few weeks. Again, moving them from place to place is not hard. So, having six or eight instead of four is not a big deal. We shall see how that plays out. If it seems stressful to try and accomplish it, I will let that do as well. There is always next year.

Donkeys

Because we now have a livestock guardian dog, the donkeys are going on to another home. This is a high priority in the next few weeks. The donkeys require regular hoof care that I simply will not be able to provide. It will be better for all of us if they get resettled soon.

Garden and Orchard

The green beans are done. I’ll be canning the last batches this week and next. The crowder peas are just coming on. Today, I packed up quite a few one-pound bags for the farmer’s market tomorrow. There are more out there to pick. Crowder peas are an overall joy for me. I like picking them, shelling them and, most of all, eating them.

The tomatoes are also just starting to ripen. They are ripening quite late this year. I’m happy that there is a lot of plant and not so many fruits. I really have no idea what I am going to do with these tomatoes. They are slicing tomatoes. Perhaps I will make the effort to get them to the farmer’s market.

Again, if any of these tasks falls behind or becomes overwhelming, the compost pile is always open to new food additions.

The last of the fruit is picked. I have several gallon bags of blackberries in the freezer. I can make jelly out of that at my leisure – even next year if needed. Scott harvested the elderberries this year. The bushes have been producing for a few years now but this is the first time we’ve taken the time to harvest the berries.

Elderberries are really, really small. They form small tree-like bunches all over the bush. Scott snipped off each little tree and filled a five-gallon bucket. Then he gently stripped the berries off of the twigs. I believe I have maybe a gallon and a half of those berries. I’ll be processing those in the next few days. They will be made into elderberry syrup. It’s good for sore throats and general immune system support. Lots of vitamin C.

Final Thoughts

That’s about all for today. Again, I will be rerunning some older podcasts beginning soon. If I feel up to it, I may create a new one here and there. Please bear with me and please pray for Scott over the next few months.

Oh, I almost forgot. So many have asked how they can support us. Number one is please pray for us. Number two, if you live near, I may need your help from time to time to get Scott to and from his appointments – and with the hay, as I mentioned above. These are my most pressing concerns.

This will be a huge financial hit for us between the medical bills and the loss of income from products we would normally produce. If you feel moved to help us out financially, there is a very large “Donate” button on our farm website. You will find it on the podcast page.

I originally set this up for donations to support the podcast in general. I have not promoted it, instead footing the bill for the podcast from our profits. At this time, I will open it up for all of you. Not only will you be supporting the cost of the podcast, but at this time you would also be supporting our homestead in general. You can make a one-time donation or set up a recurring, monthly donation.

You can also send money via PayPal. Our PayPal email is melanie at peaceful heart farm dot com.

Please know that listening and sharing the podcast is also supporting us. It is absolutely one of the best ways to support us. Share it on all of your social media and with friends and family. That helps the most to grow the podcast.

Thank you so much for stopping by the homestead and until next time, may God fill your life with grace and peace.

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Check out this episode!

[coachingwithhorses]

The Energy of Connection

The holiday season is here, and with that comes a time that many of us reflect on our relationships and the love we share for others. While one person may feel bountiful in this reflection, another may feel lack, regardless of how many people are around us. The fact is we all need connection. We need it to feel safe and have a sense of belonging. Horses are the same way. They must feel connected and part of a greater community of beings. Being part of a herd creates safety and also the ability to procreate and thrive in a herd.

As human beings, we must learn to understand the energy of connection. To do so, we must also understand the energy of disconnection. The holidays bring us many opportunities to be with others. We may find ourselves very much in the exploration of connection and disconnection. Regardless of the type of relationship or love that is being presented to us, when exploring connection, mutually shared harmony and love is involved.

My horses have taught me a great deal about the exploration of energy in relationships. Applying those teachings to my human relationships is an entirely different exploration.  

When I engage with one of my horses, I am deeply body-centered. Each horse teaches me different lessons about the energy of connection. I love and accept them from a very profound place in my consciousness. It does not mean that it is all rainbows and unicorns. Just last month, after Corazon hurt Diva, I would not even speak to him for a week. And he knew it. He kept coming up to me and looking at me with sad eyes. Then, I apologized for my disconnection and explained to him why. After that, I found him all day and every day standing next to Diva’s paddock (she was not allowed out because of her injury). He chose to stay next to her as if to apologize for the event that injured her. Diva, being a profoundly loving mare, embraces everyone, regardless of their transgressions.

In the photos shared here, my mare Diva offers me her full attention. At that moment, I focused solely on how to receive that pure divine feeling of harmonic love transferring from her heart to mine (even though I also knew a photographer was present). Moving from the space of my head and thinking thoughts into a heart space is an art form that needs practice to master. It is crucial in building the ability to create the connections we crave and require. There is a mutually beneficial exchange of energy. It is seldom a one-way street.

Here are a few of the many steps to practice for creating energetic connection:

Extend a deep sense of pure love for others through their heart-space.

Maintain complete unattachment to what transpires. Instead, focus on the brilliant soul-expression the other is offering.

Create expansive waves of warmth through pure appreciation. The energy will move deeply from the core of your heart and pulses out of your chest, sometimes almost feeling like more than one can handle.

Increase your ability to receive love. Allowing another’s pure life-force energy to ignite and expand your heart, pushing it beyond the conditioned or program limitations from your past.

Breathe and allow time to stop, and your senses to heighten.

Allow the edges of your energy field to diminish as your consciousness expands, connecting you to potent life-force energy and all that is in that moment.

Horses have also taught me to be ok with the “walk-away.” Even though I may be in the mood for a profound exchange of energy, they may not be, so they walk away. During my Coaching with Horses sessions here at my ranch, a horse walking away can have an adverse effect on my client’s experience. They interpret the horse as disregarding them or downright rejecting them. Yet, when I help them work through their old programming and conditioning about what relationships are supposed to look like, they then have the opportunity to make a grand shift of consciousness that will positively affect their human relationships. Guiding them through the change both in mind and body creates a new energetic signature, and shortly afterward, the horse often naturally circles back around to rejoin the once again heart-based client.

It is essential to find a way to stay in that expanded heart-based space where the ego’s expectations and agenda are silenced. In this place, we can more easily meander through the energies of connection and disconnection with our human friends just as horses do in a herd.

To create this ability practice these skills (with a horse or a human):

Let go of how others need to be with you. Let go of how they show up when they show up, and if they even show up.

Truly see their unique way of living in this world, and celebrate it. Find the golden nugget of another’s way of being and focus on that. Are they curious, insightful, bold, thoughtful, intelligent, funny, beautiful, healthy, etc.

Release your need for them to be near for you to feel a connection. Our desire to have a connection to fulfill our experience can backfire. Think of connection as the icing on the cake. It is an extra gift and makes things juicy. If it is not available that is ok—because you still have cake.

Breathe, and then breathe again—into your heart space and look for the soul expression of others. See the mirror of another as a being of light. We all have the same struggles and fears. When you understand that another is having their fears, doubt, and worries, you can approach with a higher degree of gentleness.

Know that no matter what happens, one of the most important relationships is that with yourself. Choose to create a peaceful, happy, and harmonious state in your own body and being through thinking only loving thoughts about yourself and others.

Join me this year in Expand Your Spirit and learn how to understand more deeply your energy patterns and energetic offering, so that you can deepen into more authenticity in all of your relations.

And if you find yourself more alone than with others during these holidays:

Come into a deeper relationship with yourself through meditation, walking in silence, writing, or expression through creative activities. Avoid simply giving up and watching the tv. It is up to you to make this time of year special and unique. Fill yourself with this. Soon you will find you are filled with love for yourself and life itself.

Be extra kind to yourself. No negative thoughts allowed. Drop the self-judgments that send you into a hole of feeling like crap. Stop it. Period.

Use my Inner Vitality Meditations (Click here for more information) to release all of the pictures and expectations you hold about what this time of year is supposed to be. These meditations will help you to shift out of negative feeling loops. You may also consider my class “Expand Your Spirit” if you wish to deepen your connection to your energy field and soul’s calling. Click here for more information.

Go to your animals.

Offer a smile to everyone you encounter.

Laugh at yourself and just stop caring so much about what you think others think about you!

Regardless if you are alone or with others during the holidays, feelings of isolation and loneliness, disconnection and sadness may creep in. Remember that it is your right as a human being to be loved and to love. It starts with the self. Come home to your beautiful body and your loving heart and truly make this a very merry time of year.

From me and my herd, blessings to you and yours,

Kathy Inkie, Moon, Corazon, Esperanza and Diva

#Coaching with Horses Online Training #Online Facilitator Training Horses #Equine Facilitated Learning #Equine Assisted Learning

[lindoig1]

En Route to Paris    Day 40

Queen’s birthday holiday in Oz, but a normal working day here in hot and sunny Bucharest. Changing $US to Euros was a challenge, but as they say, 6th time lucky. After our 40 leu Uber ride last night, bargained down from 50, the identical trip in the opposite direction cost 12 leu in a cab today. So much for Uber!

Can’t say we saw much of Bucharest but we walked a couple of clicks changing our money and sat in a shady park for a while so that is better than nothing. But then, Bucharest was never on our itinerary anyway.

And talking about countries we have visited, some almost by accident, we filled in a few minutes on the train yesterday, making a list of all the countries we have visited. By the end of this year, we will have visited 39 countries together, plus one that I visited before we teamed up and two for Heather. Pretty amazing, at least for me who never wanted to travel outside Australia until Heather persuaded me to give it a go!

We are now on the train with Vienna only 18-19 hours away. Our cabin is VERY cosy!!! It is a two-berth, convertible to a three berth, really only with room for a one berth. It is about 2 x 1.5 metres, with a bit more than a third of it unusable because there is a tiny washbowl and a large section indented, presumably to give extra room in the cabin next door. One small window, but we can’t seem to get any lights working. Maybe once we are moving, but as at now, we are sitting in the semi-dark facing the back of the train. The bunks are one above the other with only the wall, basin and indented section opposite so we have to sit side by side on the metre and a bit accessible on the bottom bunk. All our luggage is stacked on top of each other next to the door - good job the door opens outwards because there is absolutely no way it could open inwards without us going out the window. I did say cosy!

A couple of hours later and we have organised ourselves pretty well and we are glad it is cosy. The A/C seems to be set to ‘Frigid’ so we have blocked off a fair bit of the cold inlet and rugged ourselves up a bit so we are pretty snug.

We have travelled through some beautiful country: initially flat and cropped then into the mountains, weaving along the edge of a small river through a wonderful forest dotted with small waterfalls. A lot of it is deep and dense and mysterious, dark except for a little filtered light and everything glistening from the rain. Other places, we have been on a ridge or adjacent to a cleared area and we can see right across the treetops to the rocky cliffs and dense greens on the opposite hillside, perhaps with a curling gravel track or a tiny cottage in the distance. There was a variety of trees, some apparently deciduous, but a lot of conifers too. One prevalent species was quite beautiful, some sort of weeping beech perhaps, standing our greyish-blue against a thousand shades of green. As we went along, storm clouds built up and the hills misted over, a little eerie in a way, and then it rained for a while. There were a few small towns that compelled me to think of Grimm’s fairy tales with gingerbread houses, mostly 2, 3 or even 4 levels, topped with cute little cones and pyramids, over quaint low attic-like levels - all very dinky, if a bit run down. In the heavily wooded areas, there were small allotments carved out of the forest, the epitome of rustic, isolated ramshackle houses surrounded by woodheaps, chook pens and abandoned farming accoutrements. They all seemed to be occupied, very picturesque but enigmatic too. Why are they so isolated? Why the farming gear in such dense forests? What else could the occupants do to eke out a living? How do they travel to the nearest village, or even a neighbour, if the need arises? Puzzling!

Except close to towns, we seem to be zipping along - my guess 80 to 100 most of the time and like yesterday, trees are often growing quite close to the tracks so it is very difficult to see things clearly. The things close up are passing too quickly to focus on and the things further away must be viewed through a green veil, often too thick to see anything at all. It makes it impossible to see birds or take photographs.

We lingered over a very nice plain meal in the restaurant car for about two and a half hours. There were much larger windows on both sides of the train and it was really beautiful, not to say dramatic. The paddocks near the train appeared to be waterlogged, with muddy water in all the furrows - I even saw some guys trying to rescue their little car that appeared to have been washed 20 metres away from a low ford. We got a good deal of very heavy rain during the afternoon and early evening and sitting in the restaurant car, we saw towering inky black clouds on one side of the train, emptying themselves onto the nearby snow-capped mountains, while the other side was bathed in bright late-afternoon sunshine. It was quite idyllic and the contrast was remarkably dramatic. The train snaked its way along the valley, sometimes following the mountains, sometimes the river. One thing that fascinated me (and the physics is still a bit obscure) was that we had a bright rainbow immediately to our left and a couple of minutes later, it was immediately to our right. Unless we did a surreptitious U-turn which I am pretty sure we didn’t......... mind you, we did share a bottle of cab sav and a half of sav blanc.

Back in our spacious luxury suite, we started listening to a new book, having finished the first in the series a few days ago, until we turned in. It was pretty hot and the only coverings on any of the trains are ultra-heavy doonas. On other trains, we have taken the doona out of the cover and just used the cover, but it wasn’t possible this time. We had a passport check to leave Romania at 2am and another to enter Hungary at 2:40 so what sleep we got was broken and very uncomfortable. There were quite a few passengers who didn’t have sleepers and there seemed to be people yabbering in the passage outside our cabin most of the night.

[therewasalittleruru]

This one is for my parents (it’s a long one)

I called my dad tonight after work, letting him know that I had been elected as Communications Officer for my uni’s Psychology Society Executive.  Confession: the last two? years, I have called my family several times a week - -we live in different parts of the country and I only see them once or twice a year. 

The conversation we had made me realise more of the amazing things my parents have done that have made me the person I am now.  I wouldn’t be here without them.

I was born five and a half weeks premature, and was flown (in a prop plane) to a bigger hospital, where I spent three days in the NICU, needing breathing tubes.  There wasn’t enough room in the plane for my mum and a care team for her, so my dad drove my mum 300km to the hospital.

When I was three, my mum retired from teaching when she had my sister.  My dad, who had been a stay-at-home dad, took on multiple part time roles to provide for us.  My brother turned 5 that year, and a year or so later, my mum was the visiting music teacher, and I would go with her sometimes.  I was in the school play as a dancing flower aged 4 because one of the kids was sick.  She also played at Music ‘n’ Movement (there is a photo of me somewhere trying to do belly dancing), and helped out at the rural mobile kindergarten I went to -- I also went to town childcare as well, so I could learn social skills. 

My mum started me in highland dancing when I was 5 (I wanted to do ballet but the nearest school was 50km away), partially because they were concerned that my coordination/balance were not the best.  I have continued to do highland up to this year, and completed all of my exams.

My brother and I just about electrocuted ourselves when I was a pre-schooler by putting sticks into an electric heater. The heater shorted, and my parents then taught us the value of money, by paying us about 5 cents per load of firewood we brought in from the driveway (mine was five sticks of kindling in the trailer of my trike). 

When I was almost 5, I went to school visits. My birthday was in the term holidays, so my teacher offered a bunch of beginner books to read before I started school.  I refused, saying something along the lines of  “Reading is for school, and I’m not at school yet”.   Fast forward a couple of years, and I was sneaking out of bed, to read by hallway light - I had used the batteries in my torch.  I thought I was so clever, but my parents knew all along.  

My mum signed my brother and I up for instrumental lessons when I was 7 - he learned trumpet and I learned violin.  Whilst I don’t ‘perform’ anymore, I still regularly play my violin for church, and learning music benefited so many other areas of my life.

My parents used different rewards/punishment systems for each child -- my brother lost computer time or his allowance was docked, I was only allowed to read the assigned homework pages each day.  I can’t remember my sister’s punishments.  They taught me how to resolve conflicts, and how to make the perfect cup of decaf tea or coffee (really good ploy to stay up later - “I’ll just make myself a Milo whilst I’m making your hot drinks” and then drink it really slowly)

When I was at primary school, I loved learning.  In the senior room, I got to to special projects, and work at my own level.  My parents had chosen our primary school instead of the one closest to our house, and it was next to a sheep farm (we would do cross-country running practice in their paddocks).  The teachers there were excellent, and the educational foundation they gave students is evident in the continual academic success of part pupils at high school prize-givings.  I spent many afternoons at the library where my dad worked.

My family aren’t wealthy, and there were times when my parents really struggled financially, but they never let us know.  I had hand-me-downs from my cousins for a long time.  Sometimes my dad would say that he wasn’t hungry and wouldn’t eat dinner.  Now I know that he was.

We never went overseas, but my parents made sure we saw pretty much the entire country - and the people who lived in it.  They taught us how to interact and care for people from different backgrounds.  They taught me about my family’s history, and my country’s history.  My mum’s family live in Auckland, so we would either fly, or drive the entire way.  I can remember the time we drove a loan van from the vehicle dealership because our (used) Odyssey had broken down under warranty.  Mum and Dad made each of us a box with a map of the South and North Islands so we could draw our way up the country.  We had folders of road trip games, a disposable camera each, which we a scavenger list for photo opportunities.  Our camping trips are some of my favourite memories.

When I went to high school, my love of learning became twisted -- my sole motivation was grades.  Almost every night, I had an extracurricular.  I took the next year up’s Maths class.  I chose to take another class instead of a study line.  In my final year, I chose six subjects, four were by distance-learning.   On a Tuesday, my only taught class was in First Period. On a Friday, it was Last Period.  Every other period was spent hiding away in the science storeroom.  To top it off, I was Arts Prefect, organising most of the intra-school House arts competitions - Pavement Art, Talent Quest, Quiz night.  I was getting to sleep at 2-3am and getting up at 5:30-6am.  Anything less than an Excellence grade I viewed as a failure.  My parents noticed.  In the phone call I had with my dad tonight, he described that version of me as the most driven person he knew.  Interestingly, at the time, Pottermore sorted me into Slytherin - I kind of thought I was more of a Ravenclaw, but it is clear why now. My dad created family movie nights, as a way to unwind and laugh.  There were a few times where I almost broke (I threatened to resign from my Prefect position and only turn up to school for my taught classes).  My composition pieces for music definitely expressed the emotions I was struggling with at the time.

Through all of my ups and downs, my parents were there, encouraging me to do my best, but to be satisfied with the outcome.  They taught me that I don’t have to be perfect.  They taught me to get involved in the community and to volunteer.  They have been my anchor through some tough times, and with them I weathered the storms.  In my first year of uni, my dad was worried that I was falling into the same patterns of being completely focused on study, and forgetting about life.  I missed my Grandad’s funeral, something I still regret, so they sent me the tape.  

Over the last couple of years at uni, they have seen me spread my wings.  I have some sort of social life -- I am involved in cricket, I have a part time job, which I like to think I am good at, and now I am on the Executive for Psyc Society.  I have a (sort of) idea of what I am going to do next year.  My diet needs to improve - I need to eat more spinach, but my mental health is so much better than it was.  My grades for stats are low in comparison to my other papers, but I’m taking it for the knowledge, not the grades, and I’m seeing the payoff  of that knowledge in my Psychology Research Methods paper.  Sometimes you just need someone to be there unconditionally, and they have been.

One of the things my parents taught me was about faith.  They have always been involved in church, and I know that they have been praying for me my entire life.  I think that has been something that has saved me, when everything else has broken down.  I am an active member of my church here, and my foundation in faith has kept me grounded and secure, even in the darkest times.

This is what I am most grateful for. 

I would not be who I am today, without my parents.  Any success I have, is because of them, my friends, and my community.

#little ruru #studyblrs get real #thanks mum and dad

[psychicmedium14]

There’s a feeling of nationwide – and worldwide – hopelessness after a senseless tragedy like the one that took place Sunday night in Las Vegas. It’s tempting to stay glued to our screens as the story unfolds, as we wonder, again, why, why, why? That’s why it’s important for us to remember every day how valuable our lives are, and how important it is to take care of ourselves. Taking care of yourself might look like taking care of others. It might look like sending that extra “I love you” text, or giving an extra tight hug. If you need extra support, you can also reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “HOME” to 741-741. Call 1-866-535-5654 if you’re missing a loved one and need more information. I want you to know that whatever you need to do right now is OK. If you feel helpless, there are things you can do, even if that thing is taking care of yourself. As Lin-Manuel Miranda tweeted yesterday morning: “You can also put down your phone or close your computer and take a walk. That’s what I just did. We need you for the long haul. We need you.” My aunt said to my grandfather yesterday morning, "You're scared to go anywhere" which is a sad reality, a truth she'd never admit before. The 59 people who were killed and 515 others who are in critical condition at a hospital were on my mind all day and still are. I am astounded that a sixty-something-year-old man with no criminal record would go to a hotel in Las Vegas, request a room on the 32nd floor, and begin shooting after country singer Jason Aldean sang five songs at his concert before Stephen Paddock took his own life rather than surrender to police. Come to find out, Stephen's father robbed a bank. The ongoing controversy about our history and so on, violence included, literally sickens me. President Donald Trump called the deadliest shooting in modern history an act of pure evil. Do I agree with him? You can bet that the answer is yes. Where is the love? When we did we become so divided, full of hate, despair, and violence? We all bleed the same. We may be of a different race and speak in different tongues but our hearts beat as one. The bonds of friendship are more important than ever in these dark and trying times. It is our choices that show who we really are, far more than our abilities. We are as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided. But even in the darkest of times, happiness can found, if one remembers to turn on the light. Where is the light? It is my belief that what Dumbledore is hinting at is this: The light is found within us, begging to be lit. Go within and find the light no one can take away from you. Meditate on what I have said and see how you feel afterward. No matter how many times the forces of evil try to penetrate your protective shield, a shield created with love with help from the angels you call upon to assist you. St. Michael will be more than happy to come to your aid but only if you ask. Seconds before I was released from the grip of a demon, before I realized what had happened, I had a vision of St. Michael coming in, sword of light in hand, to save me. I thank him each and every day for coming to my rescue. He knew as soon as he was called that I needed him. Every minute, every hour, this very moment, perhaps, the darkness seeks to ruin what it hates most. I feel Satan or Lucifer is doing his best to destroy what we hold dear by using deranged folks like Stephen Paddock and countless others to do his bidding until the Second Coming. Am I right or wrong? Who's to say? In any case as long as you have God and His angels beside you, you are the greatest weapon He can use to defeat him. How is that food for thought? I will admit: I question the Bible more than I used to but this is just something to think about.

#las vegas #mass shooting #tragedy

[giantsfootball0]

Who said what after qualifying for the Singapore Grand Prix

2:23 PM ET

ESPN staff

ESPN rounds up all the reaction from up and down the Marina Bay paddock following qualifying for the 2017 Singapore Grand Prix.

Mercedes

Lewis Hamilton (5th): “Every year it has been relatively difficult for us in Singapore, so we knew that we would come here and it would be tricky. I thought Red Bull would be as quick as they were, but I didn’t anticipate Ferrari to be that strong. I gave it everything today but I could not get any more out of the car, I squeezed it until it was dry.

“There are no points for today, so we will focus on doing the best job we can tomorrow and remain hopeful. But this is a horrible track for overtaking; it will be a long race. I will have to try and see if I can get a good start to pick off at least one car. Sebastian has Verstappen next to him, so anything can happen at the start.”

Valtteri Bottas (6th): “So far, it’s been a difficult weekend for us. We’re clearly third quickest around here, that’s just not enough. We’ve been chasing the setup of the car and made big changes yesterday and today, but we still haven’t found the optimal setup. You can see it in the lap times that I can’t really drive the car with the setup that we’ve got. We were a bit surprised by how big the gaps to Red Bull and Ferrari are.

“Two weeks ago, we had a great weekend in Monza and now we are really struggling. The result today highlights that we still have issues producing enough downforce and mechanical grip on a track like this; it’s an area we clearly need to work on. We know our pace alone isn’t enough to score a podium tomorrow, so we need a clean race, a good strategy and bit of luck as well.”

Toto Wolff, Head of Mercedes-Benz Motorsport: “Days like this are the tough ones. We know that our car is not at its best on these tight circuits and Lewis extracted the maximum today from the package we had. It looked close at certain stages of the session, and we kept hoping for a little bit more, but it’s never nice to see a gap like that in black and white on the timing screens.

“The end result, with three cars between Sebastian and Lewis, obviously makes the situation even more difficult; likewise, Valtteri has been some way off Lewis this weekend, never really feeling confident with the car, and we need to dig down into why that is. The challenge now is simple: to extract the maximum possible from tomorrow’s race, grabbing every opportunity that comes our way. It will be a long, tough race for everybody.”

James Allison, Technical Director: “That was a very disappointing qualifying session with both cars. We knew this would be a tough weekend for us but we had nevertheless hoped for better. It was clear that we didn’t have the pace to compete for pole today. Now, we have to put this result behind us and start to think about how we can limit the damage tomorrow, or perhaps better still make the most of the opportunities this track routinely creates on race day.”

Lars Baron/Getty ImagesRed Bull

Max Verstappen (2nd): “All weekend has been a good build up, getting faster and faster and finding a smooth rhythm so to come away with second is a really good result. I took a little bit of risk to put down a good lap as we had predicted the others would improve from yesterday and this morning’s sessions. Perhaps there was a bit of time in the last sector to find but in general I am very pleased with how the car and I performed.

“That was the best balance in terms of set-up I have had with the car in Qualifying all year and that is a big positive. My quickest time was more or less the maximum I could do, Sebastian just had an even better lap. Race pace is good so we have a chance tomorrow but it looks like Ferrari have found quite a lot. The start will be important and maybe if there are a couple of safety cars that could impact the result too.”

Daniel Ricciardo (3rd): “I really thought I could get on pole position today so I’m a bit disappointed to be honest. Seb’s last lap was strong and we couldn’t run with that. That pace was good for us in Q3 and it seems like he did most of his time in the first sector. I didn’t really know what else we could do. If we get the start right tomorrow then we can put some pressure on him through our strategy.

“I still believe we have a good chance to win this race. I do enjoy a street circuit and the challenges that come with it, brushing up against the walls and all that. I feel I can do this lap after lap for two hours tomorrow and still hold my concentration. I really want this one so hopefully that hunger prevails tomorrow.”

Christian Horner, Team Principal: “A very strong qualifying performance from both of our drivers. Max and Daniel have been showing great speed around the streets of Singapore all weekend, and indeed we’ve topped every session apart from the final one that counts in Q3, where Sebastian put in a great lap. Starting second and third on the grid gives us strategic options for tomorrow in what will be one of the hardest grands prix of the year. It’s great to have both cars right up there and we are looking forward to a hot and humid race tomorrow night.”

Sutton ImagesFerrari

Sebastian Vettel (1st): “Yesterday I wasn’t smiling, today I am. When you belong to a team, you need to believe in each other and this is the perfect proof. Our Friday was messy, but our team has worked all night long and I am grateful for that. Here the guys worked all night and got to sleep around breakfast time, I believe. Meanwhile, back at the factory, Charles Leclerc worked at the simulator and other people analysed the data. Yesterday it seemed that we were not competitive enough and a lot of answers were missing. At the beginning of qualifying I was just thinking about doing my job. Then in Q3 I attacked, and I am very happy it worked.

“For us it’s important to turn up the day. If it’s a bad day, we want to change it making it a good one because we always try to have good days. I think yesterday was very important for us because we learnt from it. It was a hard lesson but we improved our understanding of the car and the track evolution came to us. Now we probably have a better idea what the car needs. There are always lessons that need to be learnt and I am quite happy that we had a bad day yesterday. We are happy we got the pole today because it always helps. But the race is tomorrow, so we’ll see what happens.”

Kimi Raikkonen (4th): “It has been difficult since yesterday and even today it was not easy. The whole track felt very tricky to drive, it was hard to be quick and put the car where we wanted; in some sectors we were more competitive than in others. In qualifying it was a bit better compared to yesterday and this afternoon’s P3 practice, but I was still far from feeling comfortable to push. I was still fighting trying to do a good lap and it was easy to make mistakes and lose lap time.

“To finish fourth is not ideal but I’ll take it considering all the struggles that we have had so far ; it could easily have been worse. At least we gave ourselves a chance for tomorrow and hopefully with a bit of luck we can gain some positions. We’ll tackle it as a new day. Lately our starts have been quite decent, so we’ll try to make good progress and see where we end up”.

Getty ImagesForce India

Sergio Perez (12th): “It was a difficult qualifying session. All the way up to my final run in Q2 I was struggling with the front end of the car. We made some changes which helped the front, but I lost rear grip instead. I’m not really sure what went wrong so we need to look into the data to really understand why we didn’t deliver tonight. It’s going to be a long and tough race tomorrow, and we need to be patient. We are only a couple of positions away from the top ten so we will fight for as many points as possible.”

Esteban Ocon (14th): “It’s been a disappointing day for the team – the first bad qualifying session in quite a long time, actually. It’s not something we want to see, obviously, but sometimes that’s the way it goes. I felt comfortable with the car until qualifying, but the track evolution went away from us. I struggled under braking and it was very easy for me to lock the fronts. We now need to focus on trying to recover in the race. Points are still very much possible, even starting in P14, so we will just go for it. There has been a 100% record of Safety Cars here over the years so there may be opportunities. Our car is better in the race than in qualifying and it’s my birthday tomorrow so I really want to get a good result for me and the team.”

Robert Fernley, Deputy Team Principal: “We certainly didn’t deliver on our potential today and, as a result, we have missed out on the top ten. Sergio struggled with rear grip, while Esteban didn’t manage to deliver a clean lap in Q2. It’s a shame because grid position is very important on this circuit and we face a big task tomorrow to bring the cars back up into the points. However, like any street circuit, there are likely to be incidents and opportunities that we need to use to our advantage. The race pace is strong and both drivers are determined to make up for the disappointment of today’s qualifying session.”

Clive Mason/Getty ImagesWilliams

Felipe Massa (17th): “It’s been a very frustrating day to be honest. On my first run I had big oversteer, I hit the wall and got a puncture. I was lucky enough to have the problem at the last corner, before the pit entrance, so I changed tyres and went out again. Unfortunately, I had big oversteer in the last corner on my next run and lost half a second, and the chance to go into Q2. I am very disappointed because today Q2 was possible. These mistakes are frustrating and every day of this weekend has not gone well. We will try everything tomorrow and hopefully it can be a different day.”

Lance Stroll (18th): “I didn’t get everything out of myself, and so I am not happy with the session and myself. Coming into it I predicted more grip, so I locked up and touched the wall. It was a scruffy session, I needed to risk a lot to try and get into Q2, but instead I just went backwards. The track was changing so much and it was very different to all the other sessions this weekend. We just really got it wrong, but for sure the car is not as good here. It is frustrating going from the front row to the back. We had some hopes to get into Q2, but the pace was really not there. We are just missing a lot and that is going to cost us until we fix it.”

Paddy Lowe, Chief Technical Officer: “The circuit evolution in Singapore is normally very high but today was particularly extreme because of oil put down from one of the earlier support races. That certainly caught Lance out. He’s already on a learning curve at the circuit so despite three attempts on three new sets of tyres, he didn’t manage to set a good enough time to get out of Q1. In Felipe’s case, unfortunately he hit the wall on the exit of Turn 21. This was probably promoted by the oil that had been put down at the entry to Turn 20, so that lost his first-timed lap.

“Luckily, the damage wasn’t too extreme, although it was a very big hit. The car had survived with minor damage which we repaired. Felipe went out for the second run and that would have been good enough for P13 at that stage of qualifying, but he had a big oversteer moment in the final corner sequence, which lost him about half a second. With an evolving track, I’m sure Felipe would have been in a position to improve in the later sessions, as did everyone else, so it is unfortunate that we missed the cut for Q2. I think the car had better pace than we showed today. We will see what we can do tomorrow. We can still race well, it’s a long race that is usually filled with incidents. Cars and drivers suffer a lot in the final half hour so if we can hang on until the end, and be in a good state, there’s still potential to score points.”

Mark Thompson/Getty ImagesMcLaren

Fernando Alonso (8th): “The first target of having both cars in Q3 has been achieved, so 50 per cent of the job is done. Now our second target is to get both cars in the points tomorrow, which I think is possible from these starting positions. Race pace here is always a bit of a question mark; it’s difficult to read. Yesterday’s long runs were not long enough and, added to the difficulty of overtaking on this track, positions will be more or less set after the first lap.

“That means we need to concentrate on making a good start and having a clean first corner. After that. I’ll keep focussed and not make any mistakes. It is a very demanding race but hopefully we can bring some points home. The first six cars are too far away in terms of race pace, so our aim will be to defend our positions and possibly climb up to seventh. I hope we can complete the job tomorrow.”

Stoffel Vandoorne (9th): “We came into the weekend more or less expecting to get both cars into Q3, and we achieved that today. We were always on the pace throughout Q1 and Q2, but perhaps we lacked that little bit extra in Q3 compared to our rivals. But nonetheless it’s been a smooth and solid effort from the whole team. While today is a good starting point, tomorrow is where it really matters. I might be hoping for quite a few Safety Cars in the race, but I still think we can conclude the weekend on a high.”

Eric Boullier, McLaren-Honda Racing Director: “This is a track that we knew would play to the strengths of our package, so it was pleasing to see our drivers pushing the limits right up at the sharp end of the field. Getting two cars into the top 10 today sets us up well for what is always a difficult, demanding and unpredictable race. We hope to come away from it tomorrow with more valuable world championship points.

“Fernando and Stoffel have both driven outstandingly well all weekend, and it was a joy to watch them attacking this difficult and uncompromising street circuit. Likewise, the whole team has performed at an extremely high level throughout this busy Singapore GP week — whether that’s been in the sweltering pit garage, the hospitality suite or back at the factory. When these things come together, it’s worth emphasising that, as a race team, we operate as a singular unit, and it’s days like today that remind us what we can achieve together when we have the merest sniff of a competitive package.”

Yusuke Hasegawa, Honda R&D Co. Ltd Head of F1 Project & Executive Chief Engineer: “Both drivers started the day well with a solid performance in FP3, leaving us feeling positive about our car heading into qualifying this afternoon. Fernando and Stoffel then maintained their momentum, and were both able to successfully go through into Q3.

“Although we knew this was a circuit more suited to our package, it is still good that we were able to show some competitiveness and secure top 10 grid slots for the race. Despite this, we can still see a gap to the frontrunners so we will continue to make further improvements. We think we have decent race pace, but it’s very difficult to overtake at this track, so if we can get away well at the start we can hopefully be in the fight for points.”

Lars Baron/Getty ImagesToro Rosso

Carlos Sainz (10th): “I’m very happy with making into Q3 today! If I say the truth, after yesterday’s FP2 and today’s FP3 we didn’t look that competitive and I thought that Q3 was a bit out of hand for us today, but in the end we managed to put a very good lap together — the pace came back in qualifying and I’m very satisfied! We now need to think about the race because it’s not going to be easy. Unfortunately for us, a few of our closest competitors are quite a big step ahead of us here so it will be a race more on the defending side tomorrow, looking in the mirrors, but I’m up for it and will try my best to keep this point-position!”

Daniil Kvyat (13th): “The start to my qualifying wasn’t that bad — I had one run in Q1 which was particularly good, but then in Q2 the track evolved and the car just got worse. I felt it sliding everywhere, had a lot of understeer and I just didn’t manage to warm up the front tyres, which is all quite disappointing. This is something we have to analyse, because it’s very frustrating for me. Regarding tomorrow, it’s hard to say what we can do as we haven’t had much pace this weekend. We just need to do our race, follow a good strategy and see where we end up.”

Jonathan Eddolls, Chief Race Engineer: “This is a track where it’s all about giving the driver a consistent car, lap after lap, because there’s an awful lot you can gain from the driver at a street circuit like this one. The main focus of FP3 was to build on what we learnt on Friday, fine tune the balance of the car and really focus on and understand the tyres. Track conditions here change significantly from session to session — they start in daylight and then you qualify when it’s dark, so it’s a lot about data gathering and analysis and the guys have done a really good job in getting their heads around the tyres.

“FP3 was therefore spent trying to understand what was going to be best going into Qualifying, which pretty much went to plan. It was great to get one of the cars into Q3. Carlos did a great job and managed to build it up throughout the session. We were a little bit tight on the timing on the very last run — I think we crossed the line with only five seconds to go — so it was a little bit nerve-wracking at one point, but he kept his head down and put in a good lap.

“Unfortunately, with Daniil, he didn’t quite feel the grip on his very last set in Q2, so we’ll spend this evening trying to understand the reasons for that. We also had a small issue in Quali where a small amount of oil found its way into the exhaust system and ignited, causing the plume of smoke you saw as the car entered the pit box. These conditions were quite specific so we have no concerns with reliability for tomorrow. Starting from P10 and P13, there’s definitely the potential for a good result here tomorrow.”

Clive Mason/Getty ImagesHaas

Romain Grosjean (15th): “As long as you do your best in qualifying, that’s the most important thing. I think from both of us it was the maximum we could’ve hoped for. We pushed pretty hard but, unfortunately, we don’t have much balance here. I’m sure we’re going to learn a lot from this weekend for the future but, of course, when you’re deeply into it, it’s a bit painful. From yesterday we’ve made some improvements. I’m proud of the work. It’s a long race, a tough race. Hopefully, the car will work better tomorrow. We’ll aim for the best strategy, maybe we can get lucky with a safety car, and try to get to the front somehow.”

Kevin Magnussen (16th): “I don’t think Q2 was out of reach. I caught a Renault in the last corner of my last lap, which cost me the margin I needed to get through to Q2. It’s been a tough weekend. We’ve not been strong enough, but we’ll fight anyway. It’s hard to say how the race will go. We’ll wait and see tomorrow.”

Guenther Steiner, Team Principal: “I think that was the most we could get for us this weekend. The midfield is so tight. We know a lot of things can happen here on a street circuit. Let’s see what happens. For sure, we will try our best to get into the points.”

Sutton ImagesRenault

Nico Hulkenberg (7th): “We have a strong package here this weekend. I had a nice battle with McLaren in qualifying today. They had the upper hand until the last lap where I managed to squeeze a really good lap out. I’m very happy to start seventh, it was a good effort from the team. Everyone gave us the best possible chance to have a good race. We know the Singapore Grand Prix is unpredictable, anything can happen, you just have to be ready and stay on your toes for the entire race.”

Jolyon Palmer (11th): “We found a lot of pace in the car, especially in Q1 where it felt like the car came alive. Q2 was also looking good but we overheated the rear tyres in the last run and I ended up losing a lot of time there and wasn’t able to improve. I am eleventh but I’m not too dissatisfied with that, we get a fresh set of tyres and we are in a good position to score some points tomorrow.”

Clive Mason/Getty ImagesSauber

Pascal Wehrlein (19th): “I did the best job I could during today’s qualifying. My laptime is quite alright considering that I lost some time by slightly touching the wall. As a team, we are all working hard to make progress.”

Marcus Ericsson (20th): “It was a difficult qualifying for me. I had to abort my first stint, and return to the garage early-on to pick up a fresh set of tyres. That made for a tricky start to Q1. In the end I only managed to complete one decent flying lap. It was a disappointing qualifying. Let’s see what is possible in tomorrow’s race.”

Sutton ImagesPirelli

Mario Isola, Head of Car Racing: “The track got progressively faster quite quickly, once the oil on the track had cleared. This allowed an incredibly fast and closely-fought qualifying session, with plenty of drivers beating the previous all-time record at Singapore. On a circuit which favours the mechanical grip like this one, the wider 2017 tyres offered an important contribution to this result. As tyre wear and degradation is low on all three compounds, one-stop should be the favoured strategy; however, with a 100% safety car record in Singapore and unpredictable track conditions, teams will need to remain versatile and adapt their strategies to the circumstances of the race.”

The post Who said what after qualifying for the Singapore Grand Prix appeared first on Daily Star Sports.

from https://dailystarsports.com/2017/09/16/who-said-what-after-qualifying-for-the-singapore-grand-prix/ from https://dailystarsports.tumblr.com/post/165409557226

[footballleague0]

Who said what after qualifying for the Singapore Grand Prix

2:23 PM ET

ESPN staff

ESPN rounds up all the reaction from up and down the Marina Bay paddock following qualifying for the 2017 Singapore Grand Prix.

Mercedes

Lewis Hamilton (5th): “Every year it has been relatively difficult for us in Singapore, so we knew that we would come here and it would be tricky. I thought Red Bull would be as quick as they were, but I didn’t anticipate Ferrari to be that strong. I gave it everything today but I could not get any more out of the car, I squeezed it until it was dry.

“There are no points for today, so we will focus on doing the best job we can tomorrow and remain hopeful. But this is a horrible track for overtaking; it will be a long race. I will have to try and see if I can get a good start to pick off at least one car. Sebastian has Verstappen next to him, so anything can happen at the start.”

Valtteri Bottas (6th): “So far, it’s been a difficult weekend for us. We’re clearly third quickest around here, that’s just not enough. We’ve been chasing the setup of the car and made big changes yesterday and today, but we still haven’t found the optimal setup. You can see it in the lap times that I can’t really drive the car with the setup that we’ve got. We were a bit surprised by how big the gaps to Red Bull and Ferrari are.

“Two weeks ago, we had a great weekend in Monza and now we are really struggling. The result today highlights that we still have issues producing enough downforce and mechanical grip on a track like this; it’s an area we clearly need to work on. We know our pace alone isn’t enough to score a podium tomorrow, so we need a clean race, a good strategy and bit of luck as well.”

Toto Wolff, Head of Mercedes-Benz Motorsport: “Days like this are the tough ones. We know that our car is not at its best on these tight circuits and Lewis extracted the maximum today from the package we had. It looked close at certain stages of the session, and we kept hoping for a little bit more, but it’s never nice to see a gap like that in black and white on the timing screens.

“The end result, with three cars between Sebastian and Lewis, obviously makes the situation even more difficult; likewise, Valtteri has been some way off Lewis this weekend, never really feeling confident with the car, and we need to dig down into why that is. The challenge now is simple: to extract the maximum possible from tomorrow’s race, grabbing every opportunity that comes our way. It will be a long, tough race for everybody.”

James Allison, Technical Director: “That was a very disappointing qualifying session with both cars. We knew this would be a tough weekend for us but we had nevertheless hoped for better. It was clear that we didn’t have the pace to compete for pole today. Now, we have to put this result behind us and start to think about how we can limit the damage tomorrow, or perhaps better still make the most of the opportunities this track routinely creates on race day.”

Lars Baron/Getty ImagesRed Bull

Max Verstappen (2nd): “All weekend has been a good build up, getting faster and faster and finding a smooth rhythm so to come away with second is a really good result. I took a little bit of risk to put down a good lap as we had predicted the others would improve from yesterday and this morning’s sessions. Perhaps there was a bit of time in the last sector to find but in general I am very pleased with how the car and I performed.

“That was the best balance in terms of set-up I have had with the car in Qualifying all year and that is a big positive. My quickest time was more or less the maximum I could do, Sebastian just had an even better lap. Race pace is good so we have a chance tomorrow but it looks like Ferrari have found quite a lot. The start will be important and maybe if there are a couple of safety cars that could impact the result too.”

Daniel Ricciardo (3rd): “I really thought I could get on pole position today so I’m a bit disappointed to be honest. Seb’s last lap was strong and we couldn’t run with that. That pace was good for us in Q3 and it seems like he did most of his time in the first sector. I didn’t really know what else we could do. If we get the start right tomorrow then we can put some pressure on him through our strategy.

“I still believe we have a good chance to win this race. I do enjoy a street circuit and the challenges that come with it, brushing up against the walls and all that. I feel I can do this lap after lap for two hours tomorrow and still hold my concentration. I really want this one so hopefully that hunger prevails tomorrow.”

Christian Horner, Team Principal: “A very strong qualifying performance from both of our drivers. Max and Daniel have been showing great speed around the streets of Singapore all weekend, and indeed we’ve topped every session apart from the final one that counts in Q3, where Sebastian put in a great lap. Starting second and third on the grid gives us strategic options for tomorrow in what will be one of the hardest grands prix of the year. It’s great to have both cars right up there and we are looking forward to a hot and humid race tomorrow night.”

Sutton ImagesFerrari

Sebastian Vettel (1st): “Yesterday I wasn’t smiling, today I am. When you belong to a team, you need to believe in each other and this is the perfect proof. Our Friday was messy, but our team has worked all night long and I am grateful for that. Here the guys worked all night and got to sleep around breakfast time, I believe. Meanwhile, back at the factory, Charles Leclerc worked at the simulator and other people analysed the data. Yesterday it seemed that we were not competitive enough and a lot of answers were missing. At the beginning of qualifying I was just thinking about doing my job. Then in Q3 I attacked, and I am very happy it worked.

“For us it’s important to turn up the day. If it’s a bad day, we want to change it making it a good one because we always try to have good days. I think yesterday was very important for us because we learnt from it. It was a hard lesson but we improved our understanding of the car and the track evolution came to us. Now we probably have a better idea what the car needs. There are always lessons that need to be learnt and I am quite happy that we had a bad day yesterday. We are happy we got the pole today because it always helps. But the race is tomorrow, so we’ll see what happens.”

Kimi Raikkonen (4th): “It has been difficult since yesterday and even today it was not easy. The whole track felt very tricky to drive, it was hard to be quick and put the car where we wanted; in some sectors we were more competitive than in others. In qualifying it was a bit better compared to yesterday and this afternoon’s P3 practice, but I was still far from feeling comfortable to push. I was still fighting trying to do a good lap and it was easy to make mistakes and lose lap time.

“To finish fourth is not ideal but I’ll take it considering all the struggles that we have had so far ; it could easily have been worse. At least we gave ourselves a chance for tomorrow and hopefully with a bit of luck we can gain some positions. We’ll tackle it as a new day. Lately our starts have been quite decent, so we’ll try to make good progress and see where we end up”.

Getty ImagesForce India

Sergio Perez (12th): “It was a difficult qualifying session. All the way up to my final run in Q2 I was struggling with the front end of the car. We made some changes which helped the front, but I lost rear grip instead. I’m not really sure what went wrong so we need to look into the data to really understand why we didn’t deliver tonight. It’s going to be a long and tough race tomorrow, and we need to be patient. We are only a couple of positions away from the top ten so we will fight for as many points as possible.”

Esteban Ocon (14th): “It’s been a disappointing day for the team – the first bad qualifying session in quite a long time, actually. It’s not something we want to see, obviously, but sometimes that’s the way it goes. I felt comfortable with the car until qualifying, but the track evolution went away from us. I struggled under braking and it was very easy for me to lock the fronts. We now need to focus on trying to recover in the race. Points are still very much possible, even starting in P14, so we will just go for it. There has been a 100% record of Safety Cars here over the years so there may be opportunities. Our car is better in the race than in qualifying and it’s my birthday tomorrow so I really want to get a good result for me and the team.”

Robert Fernley, Deputy Team Principal: “We certainly didn’t deliver on our potential today and, as a result, we have missed out on the top ten. Sergio struggled with rear grip, while Esteban didn’t manage to deliver a clean lap in Q2. It’s a shame because grid position is very important on this circuit and we face a big task tomorrow to bring the cars back up into the points. However, like any street circuit, there are likely to be incidents and opportunities that we need to use to our advantage. The race pace is strong and both drivers are determined to make up for the disappointment of today’s qualifying session.”

Clive Mason/Getty ImagesWilliams

Felipe Massa (17th): “It’s been a very frustrating day to be honest. On my first run I had big oversteer, I hit the wall and got a puncture. I was lucky enough to have the problem at the last corner, before the pit entrance, so I changed tyres and went out again. Unfortunately, I had big oversteer in the last corner on my next run and lost half a second, and the chance to go into Q2. I am very disappointed because today Q2 was possible. These mistakes are frustrating and every day of this weekend has not gone well. We will try everything tomorrow and hopefully it can be a different day.”

Lance Stroll (18th): “I didn’t get everything out of myself, and so I am not happy with the session and myself. Coming into it I predicted more grip, so I locked up and touched the wall. It was a scruffy session, I needed to risk a lot to try and get into Q2, but instead I just went backwards. The track was changing so much and it was very different to all the other sessions this weekend. We just really got it wrong, but for sure the car is not as good here. It is frustrating going from the front row to the back. We had some hopes to get into Q2, but the pace was really not there. We are just missing a lot and that is going to cost us until we fix it.”

Paddy Lowe, Chief Technical Officer: “The circuit evolution in Singapore is normally very high but today was particularly extreme because of oil put down from one of the earlier support races. That certainly caught Lance out. He’s already on a learning curve at the circuit so despite three attempts on three new sets of tyres, he didn’t manage to set a good enough time to get out of Q1. In Felipe’s case, unfortunately he hit the wall on the exit of Turn 21. This was probably promoted by the oil that had been put down at the entry to Turn 20, so that lost his first-timed lap.

“Luckily, the damage wasn’t too extreme, although it was a very big hit. The car had survived with minor damage which we repaired. Felipe went out for the second run and that would have been good enough for P13 at that stage of qualifying, but he had a big oversteer moment in the final corner sequence, which lost him about half a second. With an evolving track, I’m sure Felipe would have been in a position to improve in the later sessions, as did everyone else, so it is unfortunate that we missed the cut for Q2. I think the car had better pace than we showed today. We will see what we can do tomorrow. We can still race well, it’s a long race that is usually filled with incidents. Cars and drivers suffer a lot in the final half hour so if we can hang on until the end, and be in a good state, there’s still potential to score points.”

Mark Thompson/Getty ImagesMcLaren

Fernando Alonso (8th): “The first target of having both cars in Q3 has been achieved, so 50 per cent of the job is done. Now our second target is to get both cars in the points tomorrow, which I think is possible from these starting positions. Race pace here is always a bit of a question mark; it’s difficult to read. Yesterday’s long runs were not long enough and, added to the difficulty of overtaking on this track, positions will be more or less set after the first lap.

“That means we need to concentrate on making a good start and having a clean first corner. After that. I’ll keep focussed and not make any mistakes. It is a very demanding race but hopefully we can bring some points home. The first six cars are too far away in terms of race pace, so our aim will be to defend our positions and possibly climb up to seventh. I hope we can complete the job tomorrow.”

Stoffel Vandoorne (9th): “We came into the weekend more or less expecting to get both cars into Q3, and we achieved that today. We were always on the pace throughout Q1 and Q2, but perhaps we lacked that little bit extra in Q3 compared to our rivals. But nonetheless it’s been a smooth and solid effort from the whole team. While today is a good starting point, tomorrow is where it really matters. I might be hoping for quite a few Safety Cars in the race, but I still think we can conclude the weekend on a high.”

Eric Boullier, McLaren-Honda Racing Director: “This is a track that we knew would play to the strengths of our package, so it was pleasing to see our drivers pushing the limits right up at the sharp end of the field. Getting two cars into the top 10 today sets us up well for what is always a difficult, demanding and unpredictable race. We hope to come away from it tomorrow with more valuable world championship points.

“Fernando and Stoffel have both driven outstandingly well all weekend, and it was a joy to watch them attacking this difficult and uncompromising street circuit. Likewise, the whole team has performed at an extremely high level throughout this busy Singapore GP week — whether that’s been in the sweltering pit garage, the hospitality suite or back at the factory. When these things come together, it’s worth emphasising that, as a race team, we operate as a singular unit, and it’s days like today that remind us what we can achieve together when we have the merest sniff of a competitive package.”

Yusuke Hasegawa, Honda R&D Co. Ltd Head of F1 Project & Executive Chief Engineer: “Both drivers started the day well with a solid performance in FP3, leaving us feeling positive about our car heading into qualifying this afternoon. Fernando and Stoffel then maintained their momentum, and were both able to successfully go through into Q3.

“Although we knew this was a circuit more suited to our package, it is still good that we were able to show some competitiveness and secure top 10 grid slots for the race. Despite this, we can still see a gap to the frontrunners so we will continue to make further improvements. We think we have decent race pace, but it’s very difficult to overtake at this track, so if we can get away well at the start we can hopefully be in the fight for points.”

Lars Baron/Getty ImagesToro Rosso

Carlos Sainz (10th): “I’m very happy with making into Q3 today! If I say the truth, after yesterday’s FP2 and today’s FP3 we didn’t look that competitive and I thought that Q3 was a bit out of hand for us today, but in the end we managed to put a very good lap together — the pace came back in qualifying and I’m very satisfied! We now need to think about the race because it’s not going to be easy. Unfortunately for us, a few of our closest competitors are quite a big step ahead of us here so it will be a race more on the defending side tomorrow, looking in the mirrors, but I’m up for it and will try my best to keep this point-position!”

Daniil Kvyat (13th): “The start to my qualifying wasn’t that bad — I had one run in Q1 which was particularly good, but then in Q2 the track evolved and the car just got worse. I felt it sliding everywhere, had a lot of understeer and I just didn’t manage to warm up the front tyres, which is all quite disappointing. This is something we have to analyse, because it’s very frustrating for me. Regarding tomorrow, it’s hard to say what we can do as we haven’t had much pace this weekend. We just need to do our race, follow a good strategy and see where we end up.”

Jonathan Eddolls, Chief Race Engineer: “This is a track where it’s all about giving the driver a consistent car, lap after lap, because there’s an awful lot you can gain from the driver at a street circuit like this one. The main focus of FP3 was to build on what we learnt on Friday, fine tune the balance of the car and really focus on and understand the tyres. Track conditions here change significantly from session to session — they start in daylight and then you qualify when it’s dark, so it’s a lot about data gathering and analysis and the guys have done a really good job in getting their heads around the tyres.

“FP3 was therefore spent trying to understand what was going to be best going into Qualifying, which pretty much went to plan. It was great to get one of the cars into Q3. Carlos did a great job and managed to build it up throughout the session. We were a little bit tight on the timing on the very last run — I think we crossed the line with only five seconds to go — so it was a little bit nerve-wracking at one point, but he kept his head down and put in a good lap.

“Unfortunately, with Daniil, he didn’t quite feel the grip on his very last set in Q2, so we’ll spend this evening trying to understand the reasons for that. We also had a small issue in Quali where a small amount of oil found its way into the exhaust system and ignited, causing the plume of smoke you saw as the car entered the pit box. These conditions were quite specific so we have no concerns with reliability for tomorrow. Starting from P10 and P13, there’s definitely the potential for a good result here tomorrow.”

Clive Mason/Getty ImagesHaas

Romain Grosjean (15th): “As long as you do your best in qualifying, that’s the most important thing. I think from both of us it was the maximum we could’ve hoped for. We pushed pretty hard but, unfortunately, we don’t have much balance here. I’m sure we’re going to learn a lot from this weekend for the future but, of course, when you’re deeply into it, it’s a bit painful. From yesterday we’ve made some improvements. I’m proud of the work. It’s a long race, a tough race. Hopefully, the car will work better tomorrow. We’ll aim for the best strategy, maybe we can get lucky with a safety car, and try to get to the front somehow.”

Kevin Magnussen (16th): “I don’t think Q2 was out of reach. I caught a Renault in the last corner of my last lap, which cost me the margin I needed to get through to Q2. It’s been a tough weekend. We’ve not been strong enough, but we’ll fight anyway. It’s hard to say how the race will go. We’ll wait and see tomorrow.”

Guenther Steiner, Team Principal: “I think that was the most we could get for us this weekend. The midfield is so tight. We know a lot of things can happen here on a street circuit. Let’s see what happens. For sure, we will try our best to get into the points.”

Sutton ImagesRenault

Nico Hulkenberg (7th): “We have a strong package here this weekend. I had a nice battle with McLaren in qualifying today. They had the upper hand until the last lap where I managed to squeeze a really good lap out. I’m very happy to start seventh, it was a good effort from the team. Everyone gave us the best possible chance to have a good race. We know the Singapore Grand Prix is unpredictable, anything can happen, you just have to be ready and stay on your toes for the entire race.”

Jolyon Palmer (11th): “We found a lot of pace in the car, especially in Q1 where it felt like the car came alive. Q2 was also looking good but we overheated the rear tyres in the last run and I ended up losing a lot of time there and wasn’t able to improve. I am eleventh but I’m not too dissatisfied with that, we get a fresh set of tyres and we are in a good position to score some points tomorrow.”

Clive Mason/Getty ImagesSauber

Pascal Wehrlein (19th): “I did the best job I could during today’s qualifying. My laptime is quite alright considering that I lost some time by slightly touching the wall. As a team, we are all working hard to make progress.”

Marcus Ericsson (20th): “It was a difficult qualifying for me. I had to abort my first stint, and return to the garage early-on to pick up a fresh set of tyres. That made for a tricky start to Q1. In the end I only managed to complete one decent flying lap. It was a disappointing qualifying. Let’s see what is possible in tomorrow’s race.”

Sutton ImagesPirelli

Mario Isola, Head of Car Racing: “The track got progressively faster quite quickly, once the oil on the track had cleared. This allowed an incredibly fast and closely-fought qualifying session, with plenty of drivers beating the previous all-time record at Singapore. On a circuit which favours the mechanical grip like this one, the wider 2017 tyres offered an important contribution to this result. As tyre wear and degradation is low on all three compounds, one-stop should be the favoured strategy; however, with a 100% safety car record in Singapore and unpredictable track conditions, teams will need to remain versatile and adapt their strategies to the circumstances of the race.”

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