#me when I'm on tumblr but I have work to do
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STORY OF US | CH. 2 - RISKS
PAIRING: DI! Leon Kennedy x fem! reader
SYNOPSIS: A normal Friday night out for drinks with your mentor. What could possibly go wrong?
CONTENT/WARNINGS: MDNI/18+. Canon-adjacent. DSO Mentor/mentee dynamic. Forbidden work relationship. Age gap (Leon is 38, reader is 25). Reader has their own background & lore. Leon & reader have an established working relationship of 4 years (nothing was done until later). Eventual smut. Drinking. Flirting. Smooching. (Sorry to the French, you got lashings from me oops).
WC: 5.8K
A/N: This chapter was a pain to write, but I'm just glad it's done. Had to reupload it because Tumblr is stupid. Thank you to @notrattus for beta-reading this again, hugs and kisses. As always, likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST | AO3
Dim lighting and mellow music surround you in the local bar downtown. It was a place you often frequented after work, along with other D.S.O. agents from time to time. The space was quaint, the drinks were cheap, and the additional comfort of coming with a familiar face made the night easygoing. You noticed the group of rookie agents that crowded the pooltable towards the back of the bar, their boisterous laughter filled the room with a lively energy that was desperately needed after today’s events.
“Seems like they’re having fun,” you muttered under your breath, sipping away at your second bottle of beer. Leon sat next to you, glancing over his shoulder to peek at the group of agents off to the side, most of them acting like they didn’t have a care in the world.
“Some of them are being too friendly with each other, don’t you think?” He gestured his head towards the opposite side of the room, lining his lips with his bottle of non-alcoholic beer.
“Now you know that’s none of our business. They’ll go home, forget what happened, and fight two days later. Let them have their fun while they can,” you said with a breathy laugh, Leon following you after.
Seeing the young rookies messing around brought a feeling of envy, silently wishing you had that experience. The ability to explore and socialize with others was a privilege you didn’t have when you were younger, a result of both your sheltered childhood and the premature start of your career in government service. It wasn’t in the cards for you, deemed “off limits” the moment you were put into federal custody as a teenager, and later extended once you were Leon’s responsibility.
In this life, you had limited opportunities to think of anything other than work, so whenever there was a breakthrough, you held on to it tightly until you had a chance to break free. Leon eyed you quietly as you sat deep in thought, having half a mind to figure out what you were contemplating.
“Wish you could join in, huh?” He asked curiously.
“Nah, that ship has sailed long ago,” you shrugged, motioning to the bartender that you were ready for another drink.
Already down two beers, you craved something stronger, ordering a whiskey on the rocks, Johnnie Walker Black. You watched as the bartender poured the amber liquid into a glass, handing it to you with a wink before tending to the other patrons waiting for service. Bringing the cup to your mouth, you took a light sip of the drink, humming at the silky taste of malt with notes of vanilla and honey gracing your tongue. Like a portal back in time, you were 22 again with your mentor giving you a lesson in “real drinking”, his voice ringing in your head as he introduced you to one of your vices.
“This is a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black. If you want something cheap and smooth that does the job, this will do it. You won’t find a bar that doesn’t have this on hand, and if they don’t move, to another.”
“I’ve been out with you enough times that I got used to the calm nights. Rowdy stuff isn’t for me anymore. Sometimes though, I catch myself thinking about it all, the what ifs, not that it matters really,” you swallowed another sip along with your pride. Being sheltered from the outside world meant sacrificing life experiences you believed you were deserving of, including relationships and dating. It was the price you had to pay for being the D.S.O’s prodigy.
“You’re telling me they kept you cooped up for so long you didn’t have time for anything? Not even dating?” Leon wondered, recalling when he first received your file in his hand, how much you resembled a government lapdog more than he ever did.
“Relationships are kind of hard to maintain when you look and act like you’ll rip someone’s head off any moment." Chuckling bitterly at the question, you looked directly into your glass and swirled the liquid around absentmindedly, the soft clinks of the ice cubes pulling you into a trance.
“Not something that’s been on my priority list. Gotta stay focused on the job, on getting things done. You know better than anyone that relationships are a distraction at most, a big liability.” You met Leon’s eyes for a second and returned to pick at the polished wooden countertop of the bar.
Truthfully, you were reiterating things that have been drilled into your head for as long as you could remember. It was how you adapted to manage the world around you. Remaining focused on your role and position, never venturing off too far from the norm, always following the grain. That was what you knew. It made sense, committing yourself to your duty and leaving little room for anything else in your life was what the D.S.O demanded of you, to keep you rooted in the status quo they’ve built centered around their goals for the organization.
Deep down, you wanted an intimate bond but felt too intimidated to get into one. You wished to feel another body’s warmth but were deemed too closed off to experience it. You wanted to feel the touch of another person beyond obligation but assumed it wasn’t worth your attention. You believed that you couldn’t want more because you were never given a chance to explore it. That may have been something you wanted, but it was easier to shut the idea out and pretend not to care about the emptiness you felt in your chest.
Leon knew what that felt like, that mentality had been his truth for so long that he thought he was a lost cause.
“It doesn’t have to be like that, not forever anyway,” he told you, trying to lift your spirits despite knowing there was some truth to what you confessed.
“You’re talking to someone that has been in a legal guardianship for years. Trust me, I don’t have the luxury of keeping relationships like that,” you stated, glimpsing again toward the newbies to see some of them kissing and placing bets, cheering loudly with drinks in their hands. You blocked out the noise, swallowing the rest of your liquor in one gulp, hissing at the slight burn of the whiskey going down your throat.
“It’s fine either way, not necessarily a bad thing in my eyes. Just how it is.” You called for the bartender again, getting another refill on your drink. In the back of his mind, Leon was probably growing worried, but he knew better than to tell you how to enjoy your night. This will be your last one, keeping your promise of lightening up on the alcohol tonight.
Witnessing the rookies socialize was a painful reminder of what you could never have. It bothered you, and while you kept it to yourself, Leon caught on to your train of thought. The years that you lost to your job made it difficult to look forward to anything beyond fighting bioweapons, if you managed to live long enough to get a different outcome. The flings you did partake in were enough to release some physical tension and keep you busy, but they were nothing substantial or worth remembering.
“That’s how you put yourself in this mindset. You believe that it’s how it needs to be, not realizing that it doesn’t have to be like that at all,” Leon replied, wanting you to understand that you deserved more, even if he doesn’t think the same for himself.
“Really? Then tell me Mr. Casanova, why haven’t you settled down yet?” You asked him now, the alcohol kicking into your system and clearing any filter you had, which was already zero to none.
You knew he meant well, he always did, but flipping the inquiry back to him was a way to deflect and change the subject. You didn’t want to be the center of attention, much less your love life to be the main topic of the conversation, this way it was easier to run from the truth.
“How come I never see you with someone? You are reaching that age,” you squinted in his direction.
“Are you calling me old?” Leon scoffed at what you were implying.
“Nope, just saying you’re reaching settling down on a ranch with 3 kids and a dog age. No biggy.” You threw your hands up in fake innocence, lips curling into a grin.
“Hmmm, a ranch doesn’t sound too bad…” His expression matched your own, giving you a glance out of the corner of his eye to catch the way yours rolled back.
“Yeah yeah, can you focus back on my question now?” You lightly shoved him on the arm.
“I just never found someone I wanted to date, someone who shares my interests, who can be by my side through thick and thin. Someone I can call my best friend and partner. That’s why. Oh, and there is the fact that the D.S.O keeps me busy so I’m too preoccupied saving the world and what-not,” he finishes his speech with another sip of his non-booze.
“Oh, you want the whole package? Mr. Kennedy with his set list of qualifications. I didn’t expect anything less from you,” you snickered at him, drinking more of your whiskey in the process.
“You may be busy but that doesn’t mean you don’t fool around no? Cmon, you can tell me. I’m a big girl, I can handle the drama,” poking at him for fun, you grew curious to know more about Leon’s love life if he had one. The conversation started to flow better, on par with the alcohol that coursed through your veins.
“Maybe,” Leon didn’t react much to you, casually nursing his bottle with a smug smile. He was having fun watching how you behaved when you were on the brink of being tipsy, gasping out in playful shock at his confession. After all, toying with you was one of his favorite pastimes.
“Are you fucking serious? This feels scandalous.” Dramatic in your response, you smacked Leon’s arm as you couldn’t wipe the smirk off of your face.
“Never would’ve anticipated that from you. You don’t give me those vibes.” You joked more with him, not taking his reply seriously considering it was something so farfetched you didn’t see it as reality. Your mentor and your friend, sleeping around, who would’ve thought? Well, many would have, he was a grown man who had free will.
“Maybe you should’ve,” he said, his face lighting up at the banter. “You don’t think I need a little fun in my life now and then? I have needs too,” he teased you back, finding your lack of ability to believe him amusing.
“Frankly, I thought you didn’t have it in you to speak to women in the first place. Now I’ve been proven wrong. I’ve known you for 4 damn years and I’m just now figuring this out? Unbelievable.” Dumbfounded at this new revelation, you shook your head with another chuckle.
“But hey, I don’t blame you. You get yours, at least someone has to," finishing your whiskey, you tapped your nails alongside the glass. You were given the chance to see two sides of Leon that were usually hidden from most people, his professional side that was more reserved, and this friendly side that was only accessible to those very close to him, you being one of them.
“And who’s to say that you haven’t done anything either?” His grin widened more, not needing much to know that you had your fair share of fun over the past couple of years, but that was merely speculation.
“Now you’re trying to flip the script on me? That’s mean,” catching on to his tricks, the conversation began to deviate into unfamiliar territory.
“Besides, that’s for me to know and for you to never find out,” you turned to face him completely with a playful pitch in your voice.
Leon observed you, fully taking you in, and for the second time since he’d met you, he really saw you. The way your silhouette curved as you leaned into the bar, your arm bending at the elbow to prop your head up and look at him with a mischievous smirk on your face, and your eyes. God your eyes. Just the slightest bit hazy as you hit the precipice of being inebriated, focused only on him.
You looked pretty.
The thought came into his head one second and out the next, instantly taking a larger sip of his lukewarm beverage to wash it down and tuck it into the recesses of his mind where it was safe. He wished he could drink something stronger, but non-alcoholic beer will have to suffice for now.
“Oh really? Are you hiding something from me? You have that twinkle in your eye,” he didn’t mean for it to come off as flirty, but if you were paying enough attention you would’ve caught it anyway. You did.
“I don’t know, am I? You tell me, Leon,” you contested as if this were some sort of game, reciprocating his prior tone. The energy between the two of you was shifting into something new, something unfamiliar.
Messing around with other D.S.O. agents was almost frowned upon, but that didn’t mean it never happened, nor did the rules stop anyone from breaking them in the first place. Neither of you ever flirted with each other before, didn’t even remotely think about it when you were in the same room together. The relationship you had was strictly professional and platonic, a bond that took years of trust to develop. Yet all of a sudden, it felt like you were both charting into the unknown.
Leon raised an eyebrow at you, not believing what he was hearing for a moment. His head tilted to the side as he analyzed your expressions, trying to get a read on you and predict where your head was at.
“You are, aren’t you?” His gaze flicked over your figure for the faintest second before focusing on your face again. You caught that too.
Leon was older than you, with more experience under his belt than most of his peers. He was your supervisor, your teacher, and someone who has been taking care of you, making sure you made it out of every mission alive and in one piece. He shouldn’t be entertaining this, but he couldn’t find it in him to stop. It felt exciting, something he never thought he would even consider.
“Maybe,” you mimicked his earlier comeback, mirroring the tilt of his head. You stared at him, no doubt noticing the curiosity in his eyes and how he was left wondering for more. He always saw you as someone he admired, someone he trusted and could work well with. Now? The lines that were put in place to pre-define your role in his life never looked so gray.
“I said I don’t do relationships. That doesn’t mean I don’t do other things.” Your words grew more suggestive as the exchange progressed, the tension becoming palpable between the two of you for the very first time.
“What other things do you do?” Leon didn’t even try to suppress his interest, wanting an answer to something he shouldn’t be concerned with. He’s considered it way back when, thought about how you engaged with other agents in the D.S.O., if you allowed them to get close enough. Whether it was in a professional manner or more, that was for him to figure out.
“I think you know Leon,” you toyed with him, unintentionally seducing him and leaving much to the imagination. You were enjoying this, and you knew you shouldn’t be. Messing around with your mentor and friend of all people? Sure, it might bite you in the ass later on, but you didn’t want it to end.
“What? Did you think I was a saint?” You asked him then, the rhetorical question throwing Leon in for a loop.
Were you a saint? He found himself genuinely thinking about it, sitting in silence and letting your words hang in the air. His mind went blank, at least in terms of dialogue, but internally he was fighting every sudden urge to picture you in a completely different light. He was reading your body language, your personal morse code, a language he’s studied for years now left him in the dark for misinterpretation. His resolve was cracking, and his growing attraction to you filled his body with an electric rush he couldn’t brush off.
It scared the shit out of him.
“No…” Leon replied, not knowing why that was what slipped out of his mouth but it was the first thing that came to mind.
“So I’m not a saint?” Another hypothetical question, the truth is you were far from that. In your youth, you used to be a fairly reckless person, getting around without caring much about the consequences of your actions. It was the only thing you felt you had control over, so in an act of rebellion, you indulged in it whenever you could. As you got older, your antics diminished, when really, you just got more selective about who you picked for a good time.
“Then what am I?” You challenged him, leaning a bit closer with this tantalizing energy that was never directed towards Leon up until this point. He’s seen you use your sweet talking for missions where you were undercover in rare instances, considering you didn’t enjoy flirting for the sake of getting information. He wondered about what the men who have been in his place must’ve thought of you, if their perception matched his.
You didn’t know if you were being intentional with your flirting or if you were simply bored and riding the current wave of entertainment. This was fun to you, a game of sorts, but it was bad enough that you liked this. Openly flirting with your mentor who was 13 years your senior shouldn’t make you feel this buzzed, and yet the guilt seemed to be the last of your concerns.
Your words were the equivalent of pouring gasoline on a small flame that had just begun. Everything in you was enticing, and Leon felt heat rising in his whole being, a reaction he hadn’t felt in a while, a feeling he thought was long gone.
“Definitely not a saint,” he expressed with another airy chuckle. You were taunting him, and he was having trouble coming to terms with the fact that he was falling for it.
You decided to back off after that, now both at a standstill and staring at each other rather intensely. There was an unspoken tension between you, the air thick with desire and want, something that neither of you should feel for each other. You could blame it on the alcohol, or on the fact that it’s been a while since you did anything intimate with another person. But at the moment, flirting with the man in front of you was like taking a bite out of a forbidden fruit. Humming at his comment, you pulled away.
“Perhaps you’re right,” you sounded nonchalant, thinking it was best to call it a night instead of feeding into whatever this was.
“I think that’s enough drinking for me. Do you want to give me a ride home? Considering you’re the sober one here.” It was another regular thing he did to ease his mind, ensuring you got home safely after a night out. Currently, it felt like another excuse to be near him for longer than you should be.
Leon’s face felt hot when you pulled away from him. What the hell was he doing? He had a moment of clarity and he knew this was a mistake. It was too late to do anything now because a seed had been planted despite neither of you wanting to acknowledge it.
“Yeah, I’ll give you a ride home.” He took the first step and paid the tab, walking out of the bar with you behind him. His hand itched to hold yours, but he kept that to himself as the two of you trekked into the night and towards his parked jeep.
The drive back to your place was quiet as a gentle numbness washed over you from your copious drinking, leaning into the passenger’s seat to watch the city landscape of D.C. pass by through the window. The attraction you felt towards Leon was still there, bubbling alongside the beating in your chest like a drum, but you knew opening Pandora’s box would lead to unwanted destruction. It was safer to not address it, to bury it so far into the ground it could never be recovered again. As you pulled into the driveway of your apartment building, Leon put the Jeep in park, stopping in the front.
“Thank you for the ride and the drinks. I needed it after today,” the softness in your features returned as the corner of your lips turned upwards.
“It’s no problem,” Leon returned your smile. He hadn’t felt this way in a while, especially not towards you. He probably shouldn’t have said the next thing he blurted out, but he took a chance and threw caution to the wind.
“You know, you can invite me up if you want.” He wasn’t expecting you to accept, internally cringing and preparing to recoil from shooting himself in the foot.
“Invite you up for what? Coffee?” You read between the lines to understand his intentions. Despite the nagging voice you heard screaming out yes, the voice of reason was playing tug of war with the little devil on your shoulder. “Are you hearing yourself right now?”
Leon was nervous. His heart was racing, the ignored sense of responsibility started to creep up on him no matter how hard he suppressed it. You were tipsy, and you two were not close enough to start that kind of relationship.
Or were you?
“Yeah, coffee?” He sported the faintest smirk he could muster. He didn’t know where his head was at or going for that matter, a battlefield with rationality and impulsivity grappling for control.
If you squint hard enough, you’d spot the apprehension in Leon’s eyes, paired with the subdued longing hidden in his blue irises. You knew better than to say yes, but the alcohol in your system clouded your judgment.
“Fine, coffee. But you’re only having one cup, you take enough as it is.”
Stepping out of his car and walking ahead of him, Leon’s presence loomed behind you, like a shadow you couldn’t escape from. This was nothing new, he’s been in your apartment a few times, the same way you’ve been in his for brief moments. The motives for doing so varied; more intensive mission debriefs, wellness checks, grocery drop-offs, and mostly to steal more coffee.
The circumstances of having him come over this time were fairly different, you both felt it. But you remained colleagues and close friends, nothing more. As you unlocked the front door, you tossed the keys in the console table at the entryway and moved into the kitchen, putting some much needed distance between you and Leon.
“What flavor of coffee do you want? I have hazelnut, caramel, toffee nut, you name it.” You listed out his options to him, watching him from the corner of your eye as he leaned against a kitchen counter not too far from you.
“I’ll take hazelnut,” he ordered, observing you as you busied yourself with making the drinks. It felt selfish, raking his greedy eyes over you like you were his for the taking. It was as subtle as it could be, and he was aware being here in the first place was enough to constitute a bad idea. Since he was already in your apartment, he might as well indulge.
“Where do you think the mission is taking place? I wonder what European country got on the D.S.O.'s radar this time.” Your voice broke the awkward silence in the kitchen, not wanting to deal with the stillness. In spite of being calm, your skin felt feverish, focused on the coffee that started to brew into the pot.
Leon remained quiet. At first, it was just his sight wandering over your body in full attention. Then it was his thoughts, visualizing things he shouldn’t, things about you. And now, it was how he was feeling, a craving for you that was gnawing at him with every passing second. He cleared his throat and forced himself to shift gears to find a suitable answer to your question.
“I don’t know honestly, probably some northern European country.” He hoped his answer would suffice, coming up with it off the top of his head.
“Well, I just hope it isn’t France. God knows it’s always something about the damn French getting their noses into something.” You kept the conversation going while your mind raced. You were never like this, especially not near Leon. Anxious and scared weren’t part of your character, rather you were confident to the point of bordering on arrogant and cocky.
You were out of your element.
Once the coffee was done brewing, you handed Leon a mug, pivoting to face him for the first time in the past 10 minutes.
“Are you trying to say that French people tend to be nosey?” Leon was sarcastic as he spoke, but it seemed to work in his favor. The shift in humor brought your relationship dynamic back to normal, at least for the time being. You two were back to what you have always been, friends and colleagues. Friends and colleagues…friends and colleagues. Those words ran through his head like a mantra. It was a last-ditch effort to repress the silly crush he’d been harboring for a while, and now it felt all too real.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.” You sipped your coffee, slanting off a counter opposite to Leon, close enough to face him with adequate space to maintain your boundaries. It felt normal between you, as friends and partners. And in the gaps of your sanity, you imagined being with Leon in a way that was far from friendly. You took another larger gulp of coffee, the buzz from the caffeine waking you up and you hoped it would bring you to your senses.
“That was probably a bad French joke,” you mumbled after some time. Comedy was never your strongest suit, that was more of Leon’s thing.
“I’m sure the French wouldn’t appreciate being mocked, they don’t take kindly to that sort of thing,” he finished his coffee and placed the mug down on the countertop.
“I’m sure they’d cut my head off, but you can’t say I’m wrong.” You were also running on empty, taking both cups to wash them in the sink and place them in the dish rack.
“I’m tired now,” Leon declared, the atmosphere had calmed, and the prior interactions in the bar were long forgotten.
“You’re tired? The coffee didn’t do its job?” You glared at him with a credulous look, arms crossing over your chest.
“Maybe you should go home, get some rest, and enjoy the weekend,” you suggested, not wanting him to leave just yet, to relish what was left of the moment and escape reality.
“The coffee did its job. I’m just tired, been a long day.” He stood up straight from the counter, reading the room and recognizing it was his time to leave. “Talk to you on Monday then?”
“Yeah, talk to you Monday.” You confirmed with Leon, catching the way he looked at you a few seconds longer than expected.
You counted every step he took toward your apartment door, the back of his head disappearing as he went into the entryway. It was impulsive, it was stupid, probably the dumbest thing you’ve ever thought of doing in your 25 years of living. But right now, you could give less of a shit about morality and commitments.
“Leon…” You called out to him, your feet moving before you could stop them. He had one hand on the door handle, just about to open it when he stopped in his tracks at the sound of your voice.
Bringing your face closer to Leon’s, you placed a light kiss on his lips, one that was short and sweet, just enough to test your wavering limits. You did it without thinking, without knowing if it would ruin your friendship, but you threw reason completely out of the window. Once the kiss happened, Leon was taken aback by it. He stood rigid, short-circuiting at the brief feel of your soft mouth against his.
He wanted more. He needed more.
“I shouldn’t have…” He heard you starting to talk, ending your worries right then and there with a hand on your waist and meshing his lips with yours without a second thought. You reciprocated the next instance, your hands curling into the material of his leather jacket, bringing him closer than he’d ever been.
“This is so stupid,” you murmured, kissing him again as if you couldn’t get enough. You tasted the sweetness of the hazelnut coffee he just drank, the coffee you made him in your apartment. You longed for more of his touch, craved it, could drown in it for all you cared. “Please tell me I’m stupid.”
“You’re stupid,” he said in between kisses, igniting the new flame of passion in your foyer. A thrill of pleasure ran through him, wrapping a thick arm around your body to press you into him, standing chest to chest. “I’m stupid too,” he mumbled, his voice a little muffled, moving one of his hands to hold your soe jaw in place, not wanting to part from you.
“So damn stupid,” you kept trying to talk to him, getting lost in the feeling of his plush mouth moving over yours in a succinct rhythm. You shouldn’t be doing this, shouldn’t be kissing your mentor and your friend, shouldn’t be kissing someone that had so many years accounted for in both age and life experience.
How could something so wrong feel so good?
“We shouldn’t be doing this…” Your defenses crumbled with every press of his mouth, moving back a step as Leon pinned you against the wall. His hips rubbed into yours as he held you in place with a hand on your hip, a low groan escaping him at the contact.
“I know,” he whispered to you. He wasn’t listening to you, wasn’t listening to logic that was usually found in his level-headed psyche. He was hearing what he wanted to hear, the voices that told him to kiss you, to touch you, to claim you as his like he had wanted for so long.
He was addicted to you, wanting to consume you whole after starving for so damn long. He deepened the kiss to make room for his tongue, stroking yours in affectionate swirls. His hands moved from your shoulders to trace down the curve of your spine and caress your denim-clad thigh, thick fingers kneading at your body and giving you an experimental squeeze.
The kiss got more heated as Leon devoured every hum and sigh he could pull from you, chasing the taste of your coffee with his tongue. You moaned into him when his touch roamed to grab a handful of your ass, your fingers running through his blonde hair to keep him in place. Neither of you were thinking straight or concerned about the aftermath of what may follow after these turn of events. The adrenaline from the impulsivity was wearing off and anxiety was barging through you fast enough to give you whiplash.
“Leon,” with a gasp of his name and a huff of your breath you shoved him away, seeking purchase on the wall. You didn’t want to stop, but you had to before things went too far. You held his gaze with his blown pupils, lips plump and tingling, your cheeks warm to the touch at what transpired.
“You should probably go,” you conveyed a shaky voice, not wanting to upset him but this decision was for the best.
Leon caught his bearings, left speechless by the recklessness of your mutual actions. The actualization of what occurred was starting to sink in, scrutinizing you with a look of confusion and his heart beating so fast he could feel it in his throat.
He wanted this to continue, wanted to hold you close and taste you again and again, wanted time to stop so this could be your new normal. He realized you were making the right decision, the one he should be making as your mentor.
“You’re right, I should go.” His breathless voice swayed as he talked. Reaching for the doorknob of your front door again, he opened it to take one step over the threshold of your apartment.
“I’ll see you Monday?” A short question, one that suggested more than what was asked. It was a silent code for you, to check in to see if you were on good terms with one another, to find out if this night ruined everything that’s been built over the past 4 years.
“Yeah, I’ll see you Monday.” It was a dry response, but it was good enough. He looked back at you one more time, feeling the need to say more than just that, but he said nothing.
Leon stepped outside and shut the door behind him, his hands going to his sides and fantasizing what could’ve been, what could still be if the circumstances were different. He may have left your home, but the feelings he had for you did not. He just had to hope time would heal it, that the yearning would eventually go away, that this improper crush would cease to haunt him.
You stood there with your feet planted into the hardwood floor, staring at the closed door as your mind played catch up. You couldn’t make sense of it, of what just happened between you and the man you held in such high regard. Your gut fluttered and your body throbbed, a fervency you haven’t felt in the past few weeks flourishing when that was the last thing you wanted. You shook your head to yourself, running a hand through your hair and releasing a quivering exhale.
What did I just get myself into?
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I had an idea to redesign vox because I didn't love that a character obsessed with modernization would wear a top hat and bowtie. then after a brief stint into madness where I read my partner's historic costuming textbook I drew.... all this.
(side note: the idea of vox being a trans man who transitioned AFTER death was super compelling and absolutely inspired by @prince-liest so while this is not direct fanart of their series I wanted to give a shoutout anyway!!!)
okay some TRULY unhinged rambling about historic costume below the cut YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
1950s: for this design I very much did not want to go to the typical a-line housewife look, because I feel that is unfitting for vox's character. instead I went for a more business look, but there is still a level of femininity that he would have been expected to perform. i wanted to express his discomfort with that through the pose and expression, though at the time he wouldn't necessarily have a framework for why he hated it
1960s: this one was very fun. i loved the idea of vox beginning to eschew some of the expected feminine presentation, and he no longer wears makeup, jewelry, or hose (though its hard to tell in black & white); however, he's kind of at war with himself in this time period. he's obsessed with seeming perfect and having a respectable image, so he would not go in for the counter-culture movements that were so big in the 60s. he's still kind of riding those coattails though, pushing those boundaries while still not acknowledging his queerness.
1970s: to me, it was very important that the gender hit as he entered the world in color. in my mind the gender euphoria is physically manifested in a wizard of oz situation - he can become who he always has been. anyway, gender aside, I think it was very important to me personally that he wore an ascot. it was for my mental health.
1980s: I wanted the 1980s to be the period where he began to gain some power and notoriety because of the de-regulation of television during this period to allow more ads, mirroring real-world history. I think if the 70s were when vox gained some real confidence, the 80s are when he got an Ego (tm). "business casual" also began to become more acceptable in this time period, and the t-shirt/suit jacket combo was very important for me to include, as to me it epitomizes the commercialism and machismo of the 80s.
1990s: this was actually the decade I was the most nervous to design, and yet I think it turned out the best? the 90s are known for grunge, which I think is NOT vox's style at all. I decided instead to lean hard into the yuppie look, which I know is more associated with the 80s but was definitely still a thing in the 90s. I also allowed a little hip-hop influence in the form of a gold chain from val, which is not something I think vox would ever pick on his own.
2000s: if the 90s were the decade I was worried about and turned out great, the 2000s are the decade I thought I had down SO GOOD and then totally floundered in execution. I still love the bubble-mac inspired head, and I tried to make his clothes as "round" as possible. I also like that this is the time where his saturation got cranked. however, I don't know if I'm in love with the vest and super bright sneakers, because again, looking back on it, he kind of looks like he works at a movie theater or best buy or some shit lol,,,
2010s: I think it's telling that this is by far the closest to his canon design (2014 tumblr lookin ass). I really wanted to pull from that hipster tech bro era, but unfortunately that aesthetic has a veneration for "retro" which again, is not fitting for vox. I still think he would wear the bowtie during this time because, well... he sure does in the show!
2020s: this was fun because I had an excuse to pull from haute couture design rather than street fashion because of the introduction of velvette into his life. I truly do not think velvette would let vox and val walk around in the outfits that they do because it would be an actual embarrassment LMAO. for this, I wanted his decorative "robes" to be evocative of the time he depicted himself as a priest AND of a cape/robe of an emperor. he does think of himself as that bitch, after all.
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wait, you could have gotten a follow up with Ken himself? did that go very far or were you not interested? i getta imagine even if you dont like his work, asking the man himself about his days on the comic would be illuminating.
I could have. Part of me was definitely curious, since there's so much we don't know about what was going on behind the scenes at Archie and Ken's one of the few people still interested in talking about it. But it's also like... I dunno, I just like to keep some distance between me as a critic and him as a creator. I can talk about his work, I can talk about things he's said publicly about his work, but I don't need to drag him directly into it. It's the same reason why I've never interacted with him directly on Twitter, even though people loooooooove to get into arguments with him about Sonic shit. As critical as I've been of both him and his work, I have zero desire to grill him in person.
Were I to interview him, there are basically two paths I see here:
Option A: I do a totally cordial softball interview, magically putting aside my well-established opinions on the guy from my decade spent running TKP, and use it as an opportunity to get some more insight into the creation of the comics from him. And then what? I go right back to poking fun at him on my Tumblr blog that has his name in the URL? I'm pretty soft on the guy these days compared to all the Sonic fans out there who think he's The Literal Devil, but still, there's no way for this to not feel like entrapment to me. Like I'm just playing nice so he can give me ammo for when I turn around and continue poking fun at his work and his occasional legal threat. And even if I never use anything he says in that interview against him, since I finished covering his Archie Sonic run for the blog years ago rarely have any reason to even bring him up, my audience will sure as hell comb through every word he says to find more coal for the hate train.
Option B: I'm more critical of him to his face, in which case I'm basically just bullying a kinda pathetic old man, who's already alienated most of his peers and committed career suicide, for writing some children's comics I didn't like 20-30 years ago. There is not a single iota of me that wants to turn into Ken's equivalent of that asshole who paid to be a guest on the BumbleKast just to ask Ian Flynn a bunch of questions that boiled down to "hey so this story you wrote sucked, why'd you write it that way?"
It just doesn't feel right to me no matter how you slice it. Ken's not some monstrous public figure who needs to get held accountable for his actions in an interview or something. At the end of the day, it's just comics. It's not that serious. He can continue making his weird little Lara-Su Chronicles comics and putting his foot in his mouth of his own accord, and I can continue being like "lol remember when Knuckles got called a 'proud man-child' at his own funeral" as a side thing to my own creative career, and never the twain shall meet
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Sorry, that last ask was incomplete. I'll try again.
WIBTA for making a noise complaint to the county council about my mum?
For context, it's just me and her in the house, we live in England, I'm 17, she's 44 and I am at my goddam wits end because it has begun again.
Right, so to get to the point, my mum discovered this new excersise course a couple of months ago. No machines, no gym membership, the whole thing's on Youtube as far as I'm aware. Problem is, it's so noisy. There's obviously the movements required for excersise, which sound like a herd of elephants clomping about, and then there's the shitty 2000s pop. Right now, it's Ke$ha and Pitbull. Fun.
My mum will often play multiple videos in a row, so there's rarely a moment of peace. I am trying to study quite often, and it is so incredibly annoying, since I work best in silence.
Reader, I am at my wits end. I tried going into the garden. It's chilly and the video/music's loud enough that I can hear it out there. I tried going into the garage. Same result. I've tried talking to my mum, asking if she can turn her music and videos down. She said no, and we had a massive argument about it. I lost, and her parting words were "If you don't like it, you can move out."
At the end of the week, I'll be going to stay with my grandparents, because I genuinely cannot take it anymore. I'm just wondering if I'd be justified in getting a little revenge. The neighbours have been complaining to me when they catch me laden with shopping on the way home, or in the supermarket, so if I don't do it one of them probably will. So.
Would I be the asshole if I made a noise complaint, tumblr?
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i wasn't sexually harassed by @/musashi, ya'll are just playing the telephone game.
hi, im slushy, i'm 15 and a half years old, i keep hearing these bullshit rumours about my friend wendy, or musashi, as is their tumblr url. i'm here to go on the record to say, that did not fucking happen. unfortunately, since i got banned in the server this went down in. (ha ha. how ironic.) might be tricky but i do have, like, 10 people who can back me up on this.
so, a rundown of events. me, wendy, and a few other people are in a vc. i post a poll about what i should go as for halloween. the options are pretty skimpy but hey, i'm fifteen, going on sixteen years old. i'm nearly an adult and by the time halloween rolls around i'll be old enough to work, drive, and fuck. i'm a teenager, not a toddler.
a couple server members, i think it was around five, voted on this poll. the mods, specifically the owner, got mad at wendy specifically. they said wendy was sexualising me. wendy was obviously like "no, when i look at a teenager in a halloween costume i see a teenager in a halloween costume. slushy's 13 years my junior, im not a weirdo."
the owner proceeded to get mad at wendy and then told me i should dress up as jesus? which is an odd thing to say. it was less of lingerie and more like a bikini. which gives me a feeling that the people getting mad are the type to sexualise teenagers at the beach.
anyway, wendy, with no warning, got banned for this. the mods said they gave plenty of warning but in those "warnings" they seemed to just be making friendly requests, not mod-ly orders.
the whole claim of wendy "offering to buy" me anything is also completely and utterly false. that didnt happen dawg
anyway, i was confused, angry, and upset about this. wendy was also very upset.
anyway, you know who i was groomed by?? someone else on the server who all the mods continue to reblog from and interact with. they know she's a groomer. i've told them. wendy's told them. at least five other people have expressed concern or disgust at this person's behaviour, and yet they continue to talk to the groomer.
i also want to add that i was completely and utterly spoken over. every time i said "wendy wasnt weird or creepy!" they didn't listen to me because i'm just a minorrrr. i'm just a little girl who obviously can't think for herselffffffff.
as for wendy being a "pedo apologist", i think this just refers to wendy...not being an antishipper? god forbid wendy, a grown ass 28 year old adult with adult responsibilities not get into internet discourse? also i find it pretty gross how we put "actual fucking child predators" and "people who don't care about online drama surrounding made up ships" on the same level of bad. one is something i can scroll past or block the tag of. the other caused me trauma, pain, and having grown up way too fast. fictional characters can't experience pain or tragedy in the same way real children and teenagers can.
this post is in regards to this anon message:
you are a bunch of sick people who don't care about real child abuse. you ignore groomers and let them fly under the radar to target people who you, personally, don't agree with. you're making a real victim into a false victim, and at the time of the incident it was sexual assault survivor's awareness month.
if you're going to call someone a victim, at least fucking listen to them. a real groomer is out there living her life while my friend lost a big amount of friends due to false allegations.
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Honestly I cannot believe that I've been on tumblr for just over a year now and somehow there's already so many of you wonderful people here that are reading, enjoying, and supporting my silly little fics. When I jumped over here from AO3, I had not anticipated how much fun I was going to have getting to chat with all of y'all while also sharing my stories with those of you who aren't on AO3. I've definitely made some wonderful friends this past year because of tumblr and I just want to say thank you to everyone for the support. I always mean it when I say y'all are the reason I keep writing these stories 💖
I could certainly get sappier but instead I'll just invite y'all to join me for my first ever celebration! There's a few fun things below the cut that y'all can pop up with in my ask box starting today May 3 through Wednesday May 8! I tried to think of some interesting things that I could realistically make time to do with everything currently going on in my life, especially because I'm also still trying to stockpile rough drafts for many of my stories so that I can still have updates during my upcoming "writing hiatus" (that I'll explain more about later). My plan is to answer things as they come in and hopefully have them all finished shortly after the celebration ends. And once the celebration finally ends, I'm hoping to give y'all an update to a story or a one shot!
Hopefully this will be fun for everyone!
Let's Chat! - Feel free to send me an ask about anything at all! No, seriously. You want to tell me about your day? An upcoming vacation or exciting accomplishment of yours? Do it! Or maybe you want to ask me questions about one of my stories or my writing process? Hell, feel free to ask me about myself, chat about coffee, music, books, pets, whatever!
Discuss Headcanons with Me! - Have any headcanons about Matt Murdock, Frank Castle, or Michael Kinsella that you want to chat about or share with me? Send them in! Or are you interested in a headcanon I might have about one of them in a certain situation? Feel free to ask! We can chat about the boys!
Send Me Fake FFTD Installment Titles! - Create a title name for an installment for my Falling for the Devil series (ex. "The [insert title]") and I'll write a couple of sentences about what I could picture that installment being about! You win bonus points if you can actually stump me on coming up with a plot for your title. But also who knows, maybe some title suggestions could spark an idea for future updates...
Let's Play a Game! - We can play would you rather, have you ever, or fuck/marry/kiss (or kill). For the record, f/m/k can be with anyone from Daredevil, Punisher, Defenders, Kin, or even any of Charlie's characters that I'm familiar with (Matt, Michael, Owen, Henry, Tristan, or Adam) or those of Jon's that I'm familiar with (mainly Frank, Shane, or Julian). If you can think of another game feel free to play it with me!
Ask the Boys! - Do you enjoy my weird internal dialogues with fictional characters that probably make me sound crazy? Great! Feel free to send me an ask to either one or all of the fictional men that live in my head (Matt, Frank, and/or Mikey) and I'll relay whatever they respond with in something of a short internal dialogue!
Request a Sneak Peak! - Since I have been stockpiling quite a few WIPs and rough drafts for a couple of months now, I am open to y'all just requesting a sneak peak. If you do, I will share a snippet from a fic I choose at random from something that's either a fully finished rough draft or still a work in progress!
**You're more than welcome to participate multiple times, but all I ask is that you (1) send things in separate asks, (2) are not rude to me or anyone else, and (3) are 18+ to discuss anything spicy (this is an 18+ blog anyway so I'd hope everyone here already is).**
#bellas 2.5k follower celebration#ive never done one of these before!#let's have some fun!#follower celebration#matt murdock#frank castle#michael kinsella
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Feel free to delete this ask if it comes off as upsetting in any way (I'd genuinely hate to make anybody feel bad, especially since the people on this corner of tumblr are so compassionate) but, like, what do you guys mean when you say someone is "not ready to heal"?
Every time I hear that term I can't help but see it as "not worth helping" or "wants to stay miserable", and I can't quite understand why people would word it as "not ready to heal". I guess what I want to know is if there even is anything like being ready to heal? I could be seeing it that way because I've had some relationships where I tried my best to help the other person heal but when I needed support they said I wasn't ready to start healing yet as soon as it required energy from them, so that might have colored my perception of it or something similar and it's sort of confused me
I'm asking here because I feel like I may be reading ill intent where there's none and I know you wouldn't purposefully say something if it was, like, genuinely mean, so I guess I just feel safe in asking you because I know you try your best to be understanding and to communicate your ideas well
Sorry if this is too much text or too much in general, I've sort of just been wondering. Regardless, I hope you have a lovely rest of your day/night!
Hi anon,
When I say “not ready to heal” I mean someone isn’t ready to put in the work to heal. There was a long period of time where I wasn’t “ready to heal” and I just didn’t want to try. I didn’t want to stay miserable but I didn’t see a point in trying to get better. It also (in my case) meant I wasn’t ready to confront what I needed to.
For me, the “ready to heal” is very much dependent on whether the person is ready to put the work into healing/recovering. For me, one example is this meant accepting that some of my behaviours weren’t healthy and I needed to work on them.
I’m not sure what others mean by the statement, but that’s what I mean when I say it.
Thank you for the way you worded this ask. It was very easy to tell it was sent with good intentions and it wasn’t upsetting at all in that light.
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as promised: jess' les amis fanfic rec list ✨
this is mainly e/r, a little bit of e/r/c and a few courferre
This is just the stuff that was in my bookmarks on ao3 when I started writing this post (months ago lol sorry it took so long). Going through I was shocked to see so many of my faves weren't actually bookmarked so I will for sure do a part two when I find them again, and have also added heaps of new fics to my bookmarks since then, but for now 25 fics is enough 😂
many of these will be rated E and will have sexual content, some are straight up pwp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ok first is my ultimate fave that isn't even on ao3 anymore, but thankfully is on the authors tumblr, and that's:
Gnomon by luchia
50-80k words (?) (bc it's not on ao3 i'm estimating)
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
terrorist/assassin Enjolras my beloved ever. My fave are the "charming young man capable of being terrible" fics obviously. This one is my #1 e/r like in my head this is it's own canon. & this series has my fave e/r smut scenes ever. I still daydream about a Gnomon tv show...
- trigger warnings bc it's not on ao3 so doesn't have tags: murder, gun and knife violence, bombs, conversations about the deaths of children. this is not healthy relationship fluff but it makes for a 🥵 dynamic that's for damn sure.
also linking the rest of the series which is up on ao3 still, even though it is officially abandoned and unfinished - i am going to break my ultimate rule right off the bat and link an unfinished series bc I like it so much.
stupid terrorist boys by luchia
series, 5 works
200k words
rating: M and E
here we have gnomon's prequels, two sequels, and some one shots in between 🫶🏻
if you're here for kinky pwp Senselessly Happy and Unsuspecting could be good stand-alone (but it's better when reading in order). I would say read Gnomon first on tumblr then read the rest in order on ao3.
Silence Is the Speech of Love by lady_ragnell
50k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire, background Courfeyrac/Marius/Cosette
Enjolras is cursed for speaking out against the gods, Grantaire is there for him.
will I ever shut up about this fic? Never. fave fave fave. the world building, the mythological/religious system, the writing, the "I love you" "I don't think you do, actually" scene URGH!!!! I think of this fic every time i hear chopsticks. Everything happening with courf/marius/cosette, and the genius inclusion of social worker Fantine my beloved. This is one of those "could be it's own novel" fics.
and the sequel from Enjolras' pov 😭 - Left Unsaid
World Ain't Ready by idiopathicsmile
185k words
rating: T
Enjolras/Grantaire
yes it's the top fic yes everyone probably knows it but it's good for a reason. THE fake dating high school au fic that I broke all my rules for back in 2015. I refused to read unfinished fics, let alone T rated high school fics, yet I remember waiting for the updates for this one as it came out, messaging mutuals on the day the last chapter was released. and every time I reread I remember why. Brilliantly written, the pining, the angst, the miscommunications. All the Joly and Bossuet scenes.
honourable mention to the scene where Joly is so excited for the battle of the bands, then next scene starts with "I think it's more of a sitting night today" the realest simple yet most gut punching illustration of chronic pain that gets my ass every time.
Lovesickness by idiopathicsmile
11k words
rating: T
Enjolras/Grantaire, Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta
(we're gonna see a fair bit of idiopathicsmile on here)
this is one of my absolute favourites. not only bc I quote "hit by a truck full of shirts" all the time. a Joly pov fic!!!!!! my beloved!!!!! I'm a BIG JBM fan (they are essential to me when I'm writing grantaire) and love fics that stay true to his friendship with Joly and Bossuet. also I love when Enjolras is a giant dumbass who thinks his feelings for Grantaire is a mystery illness 😂
Still the Same by The Librarina (tears_of_nienna)
74k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre
ok ok ok. listen. Yes. in this fic, Enjolras IS an fbi agent... and u know i'm the first and last to scream acab always...
that being said this is fully still one of my fave e/r/c fics. Enjolras and Combeferre are married & Enjolras needs to work with art thief Grantaire (fave) on a case. also that one bit at the end when Grantaire *redacted* 👀🫣
cupbearer by illuminate*
*this one is locked, you need an account to view
series, 4 works
124k words total
ratings: T, M & E
Enjolras/Grantaire
this series!!!!!! VAMPIRE ENJOLRAS!!!! thrall Grantaire!!!! canon era AND modern au! REINCARNATION!!!! i'm eeeeaaaaattiiiing 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
More Than Just a Game by ecaitlin
36k words
rating: E
Courfeyrac/Combeferre
Fake dating courferre 😭 this one is so good for the desert scene alone 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 one of my fave courferre fics
Good Intentions by ecaitlin
95k words
rating: E
Courfeyrac/Combeferre, background Marius/Cosette, Joly/Bossuet, Bahorel/Feuilly, and Enjolras/Grantaire ofc
THE les amis hogwarts au. 95k of Courfeyrac pov is always a treat for the system. in their last year at hogwarts, Courfeyrac decides to play matchmaker for all his friends. shenanigans!!!! fuck jkr, but whenever I wanna reread harry potter again I read this fic 🫶🏻 fave courferre ever, and also fave background e/r
if you remembered me by nightswatch*
*this one is locked, you need an account to view
40k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire
one thing about me is I love an amnesia fic! Enjolras loses his memory and Grantaire helps him recover 👀 this one's for the hurt/comfort and miscommunication/not being upfront about shit fans. also there's some past Grantaire/Combeferre and i'm always a fan
Beautiful Music Together by lady_ragnell
31k words
rating: E
Courfeyrac/Marius/Cosette
a rare Courf/Marius/Cosette fic for your palette. established Marius/Cosette need a little help from their good friend Courf with their sex life 👀 while the three of them also work on a musical assignment together 😭 prequel to You Dance Dreams kinda 👀
You Dance Dreams by lady_ragnell
61k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
(you can tell when i've found a writer who has a fair few fics and just gone nuts lol, lots of lady_ragnell too)
BALLET AU I LOVE YOU!!!!!! so set in the same universe as Beautiful Music Together, Combeferre ropes everyone into working on his opera, a Midsummer Night's Dream sequel. Grantaire dances as Puck alongside Enjolras singing as Oberon 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
In Defiance of all Geometry by idopathicsmile
51k words
rating: T
Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre
this is a top fave E/R/C fic and a top fave les amis fic of all time! Them living in a co-op and all the little details of how they make it work is sooooo real and anyone who wants to see accurately written community organising in les amis fic it's here! now for the ✨romance✨ - Grantaire moves in to the amis co-op and starts crushing on both Enjolras and Combeferre, who have both been pining for each other for years.
Years Since It's Been Clear by lady_ragnell
10k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
Enjolras offers his spare room to grantaire - or the one where enjolras chases the sun across the living room floor like a cat. That image has lived rent free in my head for and I am not exaggerating here, 10 years.
Gonna need (a spark to ignite) by FinditAgain*
*this one is locked, you need an account to view
47k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre
soulmate au! soulmate au with E/R/C!!!!!!! enjolras and combeferre are soulmates who lost their bond as children. when combeferre and enjolras find each other as adults, enjolras is already in an established relationship with grantaire 👀👀👀
secret agent man by goshemily
30k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
yes another cop one haha 😭 bc if ur not able to contradict urself with the media u like are u even a person? but also I wouldn't recommend if it wasn't a good read for the stairs scene alone 😅 Enjolras and Grantaire need to go undercover as a married couple in a small town.
Leaves in the Void by myrmidryad
16k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire
this is one i've found since rejoining tumblr late last year that 😭 fully broke my heart bro 😭 space au, enjolras writes letters to everyone when he's accidentally isolated on a ship for what to him was eight and half months but was two hours for everyone else.
Blame Delicate Artemis by hyenateeth
22k words
rating: E
femslash Enjolras/Grantaire
posting omegaverse on main? more likely than you think!
this is porn with a tiny bit of plot, but also one of my fave for femslash e/r and also..... girl dick. that's all.
omega enjolras alpha grantaire canon era lesbians.
that's enough description to find its right audience I feel
Eyes to Serve, Hands to Learn by myrmidryad
94k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
Grantaire runs into Enjolras at a kink club. enter 94,000 words of bdsm porn and pining. mostly dom Enjolras and submissive Grantaire, mostly.
Never Be Satisfied by torakowalski
15k words
rating: E
femslash Enjolras/Grantaire
dental dam mention! win!
Grantaire gives Enjolras some advice, lends some toys, and then offers some hands on help when she learns Enjolras has never come before 😏
potentially lovely, perpetually human by myrmidryad
20k words
not rated, does contain smut
Enjolras/Grantaire
lots of myrmidryad here too lol
two of my favourite tropes here. 1: supernatural Enjolras who's in control of his abilities except when it comes to Grantaire (see cupbearer series) and 2: nonbinary Grantaire my beloved!!! Enjolras has psychic empathy triggered by physical touch, so he refuses to touch anyone: until his touch starved ass accidentally touches Grantaire and feels what they're feeling 🥹
Witchboy by tothewillofthepeople
series, 8 works
84k words
rating: T, M
Enjolras/Grantaire
this one is a more recent recommendation that I loved, the world building and magic is so good, there's some great background eposette and patron minette which I'm always a fan of.
i'm not the moon (i'm not even a star) by serinesaccade
40k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire
amnesia fic and fake dating 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 this time we've got Grantaire losing his memories and waking up in a world where he has a really hot boyfriend, but apparently his 1.5 year relationship with Enjolras isn't what it seems 👀
and let's round this out with a classic
Thirty-Two Times by Ark
7k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
the bottom R canon era bible 🙏🏻
i'm sorry i feel like my emoji use is very millennial. jsyk 👌🏻 is me clicking with my nails ok bye 😘
if you want more i'm whorejolras on ao3 go nuts 🙌🏻
#mine#omg me actually doing something i said i'd do only like four months later look at that#adhd one hell of a drug yall#fic recs#fanfic#les mis fanfic#les amis fanfic#e/r#les mis#grantaire#enjolras#les amis#e/r/c#courferre#jbm#les miserables#why is my capitalisation all over the place?? uhh look over there 👈🏃♂️💨#sorry not tagging ppl on tumble even though i know the authors are bc adding the links was hassle enough and also i don't wanna bother any1
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Ok, so, I'm only going to post about this once, because years ago I decided that being part of a fandom would only be for enjoyment, and if that stops being the main goal, it wouldn't be worth it.
We all know that PART of the fandom on tw is practically bullying and hatred towards a certain ship and a certain actor. I think that, like me, many of you are not involved in the fandom on tw, and that is completely understandable. Some people have created a space full of negativity and hate (Oliver bringing up hate speech towards actresses in an interview should have opened a few eyes, but it doesn't seem to have worked, anyway), and they achieved their goal: another part of the fandom doesn't feel safe there.
When this fandom (bucktommy) started enjoying this new path for Buck on tumblr, well, there were some people sending insulting anons and posting hate, but it was a minority. Now, I get the feeling that that number of posts has increased.
We have a space that could be safe, and where we can enjoy what we like, but I no longer believe that is entirely true. What I want to say, and this is just an advice on my part, is this:
- You get an anon insulting Lou, bucktommy, or whatever? DELETE IT, don't answer (and if you need to disable anons for a while, do it).
- You see someone using the bucktommy tag to talk about something that has nothing to do with them or is it to spread negativity and hate? BLOCK that user (blocking tags also helps).
- You see a post that you just don't like? Same thing. Your mental health comes first.
I know that not all buddie fans are like that, they enjoy their ship without hurting anyone, and I love that they do it. We are losing our way, fandoms are for enjoying a ship, or a show, or whatever, and sharing our joy, not for negativity or basically making it easier for those people to spread their ominous way of doing things.
Aaaand that's it. Please, if we all work together, we can have a safe and enjoyable space for everyone.
#bucktommy#fandom things#and now I'm going back to my corner where I enjoy our silly firefighters that can't stop thinking about each other
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Can I request a headcanon of Andrew and Ashley x doting and kind older sister reader? how would they affect Andrew and Ashley's dynamic? would they cling onto her and heavily depend on her?
This is my first time requesting anything on Tumblr ever so I'm sorry if it's not detailed enough! 😊
note from coff-in: thank you so much for requesting! i hope this was to your liking... looking back at it now i wish i added more of andrew's and ashley's thoughts and feelings about the [reader] in here. i also tried by best to keep their relationship platonic/neutral, just in case you didn't want to read about any incest. if incest's what you want, though, let me know through another ask or a comment in the notes! i'm always willing to oblige!
[fem] reader-insert, [reader] is older than andrew by about 2 years
I'll be the shade to protect you from the sun's harsh rays.
Big sis [reader] Graves would most likely struggle with caring for her younger siblings, Andy and Leyley. She loves her siblings, of course, but it is a struggle being the parent for them.
She’d read stories to them and draw with them and do her best to take care of them. Things that their mother should be doing with them… but oh well.
I think a big sis [reader] would probably try to encourage Andy and Leyley to be more independent from her and also each other. It might've worked on Andy but Leyley would still be very clingy to her siblings.
Speaking of a clingy Leyley, she would probably not be as clingy towards Andy since she has her big sister [reader]; who’s always kind and sweet and attentive to her! She and Andy are her best friends! She doesn’t need anyone else… and they don’t need anyone else but her either.
So yeah… Nina still dies. It would still happen initially between Andy and Leyley but big sis [reader] would have found out and panicked. She helps Andy and Leyley bury the body in the park (or wherever they buried her) and they still make the blood pact, although it’s a little different.
Ashley doesn’t tell a soul what happened that day, Andy doesn’t look at anyone else but her and their big sister [reader], and [reader] pretends that she didn’t hear her little siblings kill and hide a dead girl. Speak no evil, see no evil, hear no evil!
As they get older big sis [reader] does her best to financially support her siblings. Most of the money she gets from any job she works goes to her siblings to get them gifts and treats. She tries her best to celebrate both Andy and Leyley’s birthdays… even if Leyley’s birthday wishes are concerning to her.
Big sis [reader] may be more of a doormat and pushover than Andrew is. She loves her siblings and would probably delude herself to some extent that Andrew’s touchiness and overprotectiveness of his sisters are normal. Just like him sleeping in their beds after having a nightmare is normal…
Ashley being rude to other girls and boys is also normal! She’s just not used to having other friends so maybe she’s being rude as some form of anxiety… and her constantly requiring attention from her big siblings is fine, she’s their baby sister after all!
She stays with Ashley after Andrew goes off to college. Big sis [reader] would’ve gone to college herself but couldn’t bear to leave her little siblings at home with their not-so-great parents. She saved up her money to help pay for Andrew’s tuition and classes.
Once the Graves siblings end up in quarantine, big sis [reader] mostly just kind of vibes with her siblings. I mean, they’re with each other 24/7 now so she’s able to give her undivided attention towards them. Andrew and Ashley revel in this of course.
I can see big sis [reader] eating smaller portions of meals so that her little siblings can have more food for later because that’s the kind of thing a kind big sister does! Andrew and Ashley notice this. Their wonder big sister is starving herself for them! It makes their hearts ache to see her do this…
… so when they kill the cultist and prepare him for a tasty meal, it’s obvious to them that their big sister [reader] gets the first bite!
I’m kinda running out of steam for this sort of neutral look because you can take this scenario down so many different paths! Maybe their relationship could be one-sided; as Andrew and Ashley start growing up they start seeing all of big sis [reader]’s kind gestures and doting in a more romantic light, but to [reader] Andy and Leyley will always be her little siblings.
Maybe Andrew could use big sis [reader] as a sort of weapon against Ashley during the Decay route? Who knows? I currently haven’t thought about a Decay route like that too much, but it is a neat idea to think and fantasize about.
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coff-in
#cobweb in the coffin#tcoaal#tcoaal x reader#the coffin of andy and leyley x reader#andrew graves x reader#ashley graves x reader#andrew graves#ashley graves#the coffin of andy and leyley#x reader
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Do you have any hidden gem fics or lesser known authors you would recommend for Lukanette?
I'm not going to lie, it's way easier to call to mind friends' fics so the same names tend to pop up when I'm trying to think of recommendations, so this is a great question. I don't really want to claim these are 'hidden gems' or 'lesser known authors' just because they're not in the circle of authors I hear from and talk to frequently, so let's put it this way: here's some works I love that haven't come up in the recs I've been asked for recently.
(full disclosure some of them are still written by friends 😂 but may be older or don't get as much love as I think they deserve)
I don't know tumblr names for most of these authors so I can't tag them but if you recognize your fic here and would like to be tagged, shoot me a message or leave a reply and I'll edit the post to add it.
A Discordant Song by Bounemr (this one is not heavy on the lukanette but I still love it)
Standing Here All Alone by Thistle_and_Thorns
Cherry Blossoms at Midnight by FrivolousFlare
The Feel of Music by Renigan
Juleka vs. the Forces of the Universe by @goldenlaurelleaveswrites
Drunk Talks (and Sober Confessions) by @chrwrites
Saltinette by @freedom-shamrock
if you know, you know by RenderedReversed
i'm in a world apart (a world where roses bloom) by nonbinarynino (STILL one of my absolute favorite ever stories)
In Vino Veritas by Marie_Chambers
The Hope of it All by Marie_Chambers
Crowned by @semi-slaughtomatic
Five-Minute Time Machine by L3245
Wingwoman by @mintaka14
So, You Met Tchaikovsky? by @mamanabeille
The Swan Song of One Marinette Dupain-Cheng by Wolfsbaene
the reason you stay by @eat0crow
Ewww... Not even dead by @bloody-writes
Acmé by @astronavigatrix
Or I could Just Kiss You... by @livrever
Where Late the Sweet Birds Sang (Lukanette Week 2019) by @semi-slaughtomatic
Brave New World: Lukanette Week 2019 by seasonofthegeek
Chai Tea and Fresh Starts by @freedom-shamrock (I still looooove this one)
Awards and Appreciation by whatarubberchicken
music to knit a broken heart by Nanimok
In Between the Metro by damagectrl
Okay, disclaimer on this one: It is adrienette endgame, but I enjoy the Lukanette part of it so much that I'm listing it anyway. When I reread, I just stop before they breakup. I don't know that this kind of recommendation would actually be appreciated, so apologies to the author. 😂 More of What Was Once Mine by RavenclawPianist
Oooh and I haven't read this one myself yet but friends are gushing about it so I'm reccing it based on that: Hunted by the Night Light by hislittlelady (NSFW)
Have fun! and be sure to leave the authors a comment, I'm sure they'd love it.
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An analysis of the HSR 2.1 Trailblaze quest - Part 1
I recently finished the 2.1 Trailblaze quest while farming for Aventurine, and it literally fueled my brain rot about him so I have to share my thoughts. I’m just going to do some analysis of the parts that interested me the most (so almost all the parts with Aventurine lmao) because I felt like the dialogue was very well-made and full of symbolism and devices that helped build his character. I will do it quest by quest because I don’t think a single post can handle all of my thoughts even if I ignore some parts of the quests. I’ll edit the things that must still be verified when I finish the next post. If you have anything to add don’t hesitate to comment! I love hearing other people’s thoughts on stuff like that. Also I hope the formatting isn't too weird... I'm not yet used to how Tumblr works, especially in website mode, so if anyone's got any tips don't hesitate to drop them too!!
Warning : Spoilers for Honkai Star Rail’s 2.1 Trailblaze Quest “Cat Among Pigeons” (in case some people still haven’t played it yet)
Part 1 : Double Indemnity
Memory
???: Land of rock, but not water, lightning, but not rain, blood, but not tears. You beat us with your falling stars, you lash us with wind and storm, you chew us up with the cracked earth…
→ I think “Land of rock, but not water” comes up as some of the floating text when Aventurine is in Clockie Theme Park (Must verify)
2. ???: I don't ask for a peaceful death, just for you to tell me — does the baby swaddled sweetly asleep... does he dream of his mother's heartbeat and the sound of falling rain? Please tell me whether this life is all just a fleeting dream...
→ Appearance of the motif of rain, which is surely important (Explored in quote 4)
→ Talk about dreams and life, obviously a way to make a link with Penacony, but also probably to show Aventurine’s real character and views : he is not one to hide himself in a false world, which is probably also why he’s so fervently opposed to the Family. (In my personal opinion, maybe all this opulence coming from the Family disgusts him because it reminds him that some people live a carefree life while other suffer needlessly)
→ “Please tell me whether this life is all just a fleeting dream…” is pretty interesting when you consider that Aventurine was ready to sacrifice himself because he saw no point in keeping his life. But also, here Kakavasha’s life is referred to as a dream, something not real, probably to set the stage for his luck, which is also pretty unbelievable but affects reality, setting his existence in the real world. Basically it shows that Kakavasha’s life is solidified by his luck since his birth.
3. ???: ...Otherwise, why would this child be born to face impending death...?
→ Another link to Aventurine’s mentality towards the end of the quest. It’s precisely because he sees no point in being born to suffer that he wants to end his life. (It wasn’t said as brutally in the quest, but in my opinion Aventurine is basically suicidal, as shown by other examples that I will address later.)
4. ???: Darling, listen... this is the sound of rain. On the day you were born, the sky also sent down a gift like this from Gaiathra.
→ The motif of rain is back, yoohoo!! Just before that, Kakavasha’s sister says that the “outworlders”, the IPC probably, sent the rain, but Kakavasha’s mother seems to believe otherwise. Maybe it’s a hint that the religious belief wasn’t as strong in Kakavasha’s sister? However, I feel like this theory is debunked in the next memory. (In my opinion, the theme of religious belief and the loss of it is still super important to Aventurine’s character and I’ll talk about it when it comes up.)
→ I also feel like what makes this event all the more incredible is that it shows that everything Kakavasha dreams of, he can have, to a certain extent. Obviously it’s also to show that he’s the real blessing, but I feel like it’s pretty straightforward here. But what I mean by “he can have everything he dreams of” is that thanks to his luck, nothing is really impossible to achieve, whether it’s good or bad, which he probably realised as he grew up and helped fuel his gambler mentality.
5. ???: ...Welcome to this sad world, Kakavasha.
→ Again, another link to Aventurine’s mentality. The world has been nothing but sad and cruel to him, so why was he even born?
Meeting Sunday face-to-face
Okay little disclaimer here, I struggled a lot with that dialogue because right from the beginning, I felt like Sunday and Aventurine were both trying to one-up another, while also talking about two different things, so it made it very confusing for me, but I feel like that was on purpose. So I’ll try to share my thoughts as best as I can.
Sunday: I have come to know you very well as a person, Mr. Aventurine. You're diligent, generous, and willing to cooperate. The fact that you succeeded in overcoming many obstacles just to meet me gave me the reason to believe in your wisdom and courage.
→ I start off with the most hypocritical thing Sunday would have ever said to Aventurine’s face. Here, Sunday is very obviously buttering Aventurine up, maybe to make him (Aventurine) believe that he (Sunday) can be fooled. Or maybe also to mock Aventurine for thinking that he (Sunday) would let himself be tricked so easily. I think these lines set the tone of the discussion. We now know that this is gonna be a passive-aggressive discussion in which neither Sunday nor Aventurine will be honest. This is also most likely a hint that Sunday knows more than he lets on. Because he knows of Aventurine’s strategy thanks to Ratio and has nothing to lose, he plays the exact same game as him (Aventurine).
2. Sunday: But there's one thing I must ask you — that is, you've used your wisdom at the wrong place to meet the wrong person and put yourself in a situation where you shouldn't be... witnessing a tragedy that shouldn't have happened.
Aventurine: You don't look too well. Am I making you anxious?
Aventurine: ...If not, then it means I'm on your side.
→ First thing that confuses me. Here, Sunday is trying to tell Aventurine that he (Aventurine) has the “bad” role, that he’s doing everything he shouldn’t be doing, and is everywhere he shouldn’t be, but Aventurine just ignores him. I had to re-read that part to understand that he (Aventurine) is trying to steer the conversation in his direction. Sunday is telling Aventurine that there will be consequences to his actions and his behaviour, but he (Aventurine) completely brushes him off by being condescending. And although Sunday is only being subtle, I’m sure Aventurine understands the implicit meaning behind his words, since this is a way of talking he’s familiar with. However, whether he’s aware of the risks or blind to them is something I have no answer to. I struggled a lot with that part because it’s difficult to grasp their intentions, but I think that the deal here is that Aventurine wants to take the high-ground in the discussion by ignoring Sunday.
3. Sunday: If I wasn't mistaken, you'd just made a serious accusation against The Family.
Aventurine: You weren't mistaken, for depravity is creeping in around you.
Aventurine: There's no need for us to be evasive. Let's talk about your sister. Your sister's talent is unrivaled in the world of show business. As you know, her voice has been out of tune since she returned to Penacony. What's more disheartening, she can't sing anymore.
→ Another episode of Aventurine ignoring Sunday to lead the conversation his way. Here, it seems even more ridiculous to me, because Sunday is basically telling him that his actions won’t go unpunished, even if he’s once again not explicit, but he (Aventurine) doesn’t care. He justifies his actions by being condescending and looking down on Sunday, hence the sentence “for depravity is creeping in around you.”. What’s more, he wants to talk about a subject that doesn’t make sense. Why talk about Robin except to say she was a victim? Here, Aventurine is starting his tacting of “fear” that he mentioned to Ratio earlier. Also, more hypocrisy with “There’s no need for us to be evasive” even though he will be only that afterwards.
4. Aventurine: Who could be responsible for this? Many suspect the culprit is among the outsiders, but I know... you hold a different opinion.
Aventurine: Now, your noble status has become a shackle, preventing you from apprehending the murderer and avenging your sister's death. You're feeling anxious because you're out on a limb.
→ Here’s one of my favourite parts. Here, Aventurine doesn’t outright say there’s a traitor in the Family, because it’s too big of an accusation to say without any proof, so he resorts to being as implicit as possible. Here he’s directly contradicting his “There’s no need for us to be evasive” line that was only meant for show. Also, he assumes things about Sunday’s situation, clearly to try and make him afraid, while still being as implicit as possible. However, it’s very likely that he doesn’t actually know what Sunday is thinking or can/can’t do, he’s just bluffing. He’s also very very condescending in these lines.
5. Aventurine: But don't worry. I am on your side.
Sunday: I'm immensely honored by your concern for me Mr. Aventurine — since you're so selfless and generous, I believe you wouldn't ask for anything in return, would you?
→ These guys literally cannot talk to each other normally. Anyway, here they’re both big hypocrites and super condescending with each other. Also, at this point we start noticing that Sunday’s pretty much not phased by Aventurine’s “fear” tactic, which hints at the fact that he expected it, or at the very least has enough control over his situation to not have to fear anything or anyone.
6. Aventurine: Naturally, you wouldn't incur any loss from this. I just want to reclaim what is mine: my liberty, and the personal items under The Family's custody — the bag of gift money, and...
→ I love the first sentence. Aventurine is particularly good at twisting words and sentences to appeal to the ears, and this dialogue really shows all of his prowess as a Stoneheart. He says everything to please, while also finding a way to turn the situation to his advantage, even though it doesn’t work in this particular dialogue.
7. Aventurine: I'm sure you're aware of the high level of risk I'll be undertaking to bring the truth to light.
→ Yet another sentence that makes no sense. In the dialogue, it doesn’t say anything nor serve anything, it’s another one of Aventurine’s tactics. He’s desperately trying to get a hold of the conversation, to have the desired effect on Sunday, so he says things that don’t mean anything, that just hint at things, that leave enough space for doubt to linger in the mind of the person in front of him. Unfortunately, Sunday is already one step ahead, and it doesn’t faze him at all.
8. Sunday: Mr. Aventurine, when you're out and about, do you always make adjustments to your appearance? Your tie should be on the center line, your shirt must not protrude from your vest, your trouser creases should be perfectly straight, and always aligned with the tips of your shoes.
Aventurine: Of course.
Sunday: But I don't, because it's not appropriate to do so in public — you should make sure everything is presentable and in order before leaving the house.
→ I know that this analogy is Sunday’s way of telling Aventurine that he (Sunday) doesn’t like to take risks, but I feel like it also serves another purpose. This seems like an implicit jab at Aventurine’s attempts to take control of the conversation once more, as if Sunday is mocking him for trying to tie the loose ends during the discussion, whereas he (Sunday) came completely prepared. (In my opinion, this is yet another hint that Sunday is one step ahead of Aventurine, but yet again, this is all very implicit.)
9. Aventurine: ...Sure. The gift money is good enough. I suppose you wouldn't mind that? After all, a merchant can't function without a bargaining chip.
Sunday: You compromised quicker than I thought. Unfortunately, it's a gambler that needs a bargaining chip... not a merchant. I can give you your gift money, but before that, I want you to tell me —
→ I don’t have a full answer to the question “What is the difference between gambler and merchant in relation to Aventurine?” but it dwells on my mind nonetheless. Aventurine refers to himself as a merchant again later (Must verify) but this dialogue is the only moment where he’s called out for it. So, why? Merchant here seems too… plain. Not risky enough for Aventurine. A merchant sells, but it’s mostly honest and without any lies, which matches with the image Aventurine usually gives out : he’s someone trustworthy, just agree to work with him and it’ll be good for you. However, Sunday sees through that facade easily, and denies Aventurine’s false honesty and care. Gambler is almost used as an accusation here, like Sunday is calling Aventurine out on his lies. And indeed, Aventurine does fit the image of the gambler : he’s reckless, enjoys the thrill of the risk, and doesn’t hesitate to play dirty. Even Ratio refers only to him as “gambler”. As for the bargaining chip… it probably fits the gambler more because a gambler is someone who’s in a difficult position and needs a way to escape, to change the tides, which will be Aventurine’s case soon.
10. Sunday: "Oh, Triple-Faced Soul, please sear his tongue and palms with a hot iron, so that he will not be able to fabricate lies and make false vows."
→ Nothing special here, except that it’s quite interesting that Xipe is referred to as the “Triple-Faced Soul” and Gaiathra Triclops is a goddess with three eyes. But it’s most likely just a way to make a parallel between Sunday’s and Aventurine’s beliefs and how the former pushes his Aeon’s creed on the latter. Especially since the Avgins believe making any offering other than saying the prayer is tainting Gaiathra Triclops’ name, whereas the Family is actively nurturing a dream city all in the name of their Aeon. Additionally, here Sunday associates Xipe’s name is with acts of torture nonchalantly, which shows that the Family probably commits horrible acts that they justify with the name of the Harmony regularly. (In my opinion this is another reason why Aventurine dislikes the Family and Penacony as a whole.)
11. Dr. Ratio: You'll have to speak more clearly than that.
12. Aventurine: ...You might as well explain yourself a little more clearly.
→ Adding these two together even though the first one was said during the flashback with Ratio and Sunday, because I thought the similarities were interesting. Put together, these two lines really make it seem like Sunday tricked Ratio and Aventurine by pitching them against each other. Still, Aventurine’s line is obviously less assertive because he doesn’t have any possibility to back out, unlike Ratio had.
13. Aventurine: Is this what the Harmony represents? Is it built upon constraint and coercion?
→ Here’s a line that convinces me that Aventurine despises the Family. He mimics Sunday, who says the Harmony’s name to justify his doings, and calls him out on his hypocrisy. It isn’t a real argument, it seems more like a sudden burst of Aventurine’s hatred for the ways of the Family, but it definitely sets the stage for the opposition between Sunday’s and Aventurine’s beliefs more clearly.
14. Sunday: Should you succeed, you will be able to coalesce into the Harmony and be with your Family. If you fail, you will suffer the wrath of the Eternal Centurion and fall into an abyss of doom.
→ That line… That line man… The first sentence is amazing. Throughout the whole quest, I feel like there's this recurring theme of Aventurine being stripped from everything he has, and this is definitely part of it. There’s something so oppressive and sickening about the fact that if he fails, then the last bit of himself, of Kakavasha, which is his memories of his family, will be overridden by his Family. And I say his Family because Sunday says your Family and not the Family. And while technically it’s the same, the fact that Sunday says “your” really makes the situation fully set in stone. Even if Aventurine is free, he has already been stripped away of all the connections he has to his true self. Even his belief in Gaiathra Triclops, which is unique to his clan, is going to be submerged by the words of an Aeon he does not believe in. Even worse, his beliefs will be overridden by the words of a faction that justifies their violence and lies with the name of their Aeon. This is a fate worse than death for Aventurine, because it wipes out his being, his existence, everything that makes him himself. This is literally akin to being a slave once more. Anyway these are the most hurtful lines in that dialogue I’m telling you.
15. Aventurine: Shameless hypocrites... You took everything from me and still demand the truth? That isn't fair. Your carnival reeks with the stench of cash. Nothing is achievable without it!
→ Last one for that dialogue, it’s not too complicated, but I love the raw anger that comes out from it. It definitely feels like this is what Aventurine feels at his core, and he finally lets it out now that he’s being threatened with the loss of his person. The “You took everything from me” references both material things but also himself. This line is so honest because he already feels as if he is caught, as if he is being stripped of his identity, all because of the Harmony’s effect on him. Also you remember how I mentioned that Aventurine probably hates the Family because of the opulence of Penacony. Yeah well that’s the proof right there. He says “reeks” and “stench”, which both have a negative connotation, to underline how horrible the Family’s dreamscape actually is. And since these words are very strong, I’m guessing that they come from his real feelings about the Dreamscape and the Family.
Memory 2
???: Look, this is just a necklace. But Kakavasha, you are my only family.
Kakavasha: …
Kakavasha: I'm sorry, Sister... I thought you'd be happy. Because mom left you this necklace...
→ These lines aren’t really complex, but they really show how Kakavasha probably had no knowledge of his worth, even as a kid. I don’t know why that is, but living on a dangerous planet and being a kid that can’t really fight or help probably is part of it. However, his sister reminds him that he is worth more than a necklace. Still there’s more parallelism between Kakavasha and the necklace. He says “Because mom left you this necklace…”, but his sister’s first line “you are my only family.” shows that Kakavasha is another gift that their mother left to her, one that is more important than a material possession, yet he fails to realise that.
2. ???: It is important, but not as important as you, my dearest brother... I don't blame you, but you must remember what mom said...
???: Pain and poverty are the trials of Gaiathra Triclops. SHE has also granted us a chance, and that's your good luck, Kakavasha. Your good luck is the most precious wealth we— all Avgin have.
???: You're a child blessed by Gaiathra Triclops and can lead the clan to happiness. So, always remember to protect yourself and never resent the pain and poverty you're going through... All right?
→ There’s honestly something a bit messed up about Kakavasha’s family’s adoration for his good luck, to the point the lines almost make it seem like he’s more important than the necklace because he’s lucky. Obviously I don’t think Kakavasha’s family’s love for him was dependent only on his luck, and nothing tells us that these memories are completely true either. Since it’s all Aventurine reminiscing, he could be an unreliable narrator, especially with his super low self-esteem. However, all about his life is said to be related to Gaiathra Triclops and her divine influence, whether it’s the hardships or the good things. There’s definitely some form of fatalism in Kakavasha’s sister’s words, with pain and poverty being justified with a sort of “everything happens for a reason”, which probably fueled Aventurine’s vision of life, death, and hardships. Especially since these lines also show how difficult Kakavasha’s role was. He’s both the saviour of the Avgins, a blessing from Gaiathra Triclops that can help everyone, but he also has to be selfish and protect himself to keep the blessing alive. This probably fueled his bad view of his luck, but also his self-hatred : because he’s lucky, he has to stay to the side and let everyone die, meanwhile he gets to stay alive, but does he deserve it? Also, in the previous memory, I suggested that maybe Kakavasha’s sister’s beliefs weren’t as strong as their mother’s, but her words here prove the opposite. Kakavasha’s birth and luck probably reinforced her beliefs, since he’s the hope all the Avgins have been searching for ; it’s like their goddess is finally answering their prayers, so why stop believing in her now?
3. Kakavasha: ...Okay. I will swear to Gaiathra Triclops to protect this "wealth"...
→ Not much to say here, except that despite swearing to Gaiathra Triclops in the past, currently he sees his luck in such a bad light that he doesn’t think it’s a blessing, and doesn’t want to protect it anymore. Obviously this fact is related to how much he’s been isolated from all the other Avgins because of his luck.
4. Kakavasha: But Sister... If Gaiathra Triclops was really watching over us...
Kakavasha: Then why did SHE not protect Dad when he was swept away by the quicksand...? After all, Dad went to the Katicans' land only to prepare for Gaiathra Triclops' offerings…
Kakavasha: And where was Gaiathra Triclops when Mom was shivering in our arms? Mom was still pleading for Gaiathra Triclops' forgiveness under her breath until the moment she closed her eyes…
Kakavasha: Sister, everyone praises me for being smart, but I don't get it... If every rainpour was Gaiathra Triclops' forgiveness and grace…
Kakavasha: Then how bad were our sins? ...So much so that we were born in this world of death...?
→ I’m putting this whole speech together because it makes much more sense as a whole than separated. Here, we really see Kakavasha’s doubt towards his clan’s religious beliefs, but also the uncertainty he feels about his role. But because he still believes in Gaiathra Triclops, this leaves him with only one option left : wondering what these trials are an answer to. The last line pretty much confirms that his role as the saviour of his clan and all the bad things that happen despite his luck created his point of view on life and death. He doesn’t blame Gaiathra Triclops, but thinks that maybe there is no point in hoping for her forgiveness if there are so many trials thrown their way. But also, it probably made Kakavasha wonder what was so special about himself, and eventually if he even had anything special, considering his luck can’t help anybody except himself. Because of that, I also think that these words are a mix of Aventurine and Kakavasha’s thoughts. I’m not trying to undermine Kakavasha’s ability to understand the world, but the “where was Gaiathra Triclops when mom was shivering in our arms?” seems so accusatory that I’m thinking that it could be a thought that Aventurine has now that he grew up. Also, the fact that there’s no image when this text is on screen supports this theory : Aventurine can’t link these thoughts to a precise moment he had with his sister, because they’re his current thoughts about his memories.
#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail 2.1#hsr 2.1#honkai star rail penacony#hsr penacony#honkai star rail aventurine#hsr aventurine#honkai star rail kakavasha#hsr kakavasha#honkai star rail sunday#hsr sunday#honkai star rail dr ratio#hsr dr ratio#honkai star rail analysis#hsr analysis#honkai star rail aventurine analysis#hsr aventurine analysis#honkai star rail dialogue analysis#hsr dialogue analysis#honkai star rail sunday analysis#hsr sunday analysis#honkai star rail kakavasha analysis#hsr kakavasha analysis#honkai star rail quest analysis#hsr quest analysis
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Savannah Squad Presentation Night Headcanons/Drabble [2/3]
it has been forever :'D (everyone say thank you to @moonbiine)
ANYWAYS, here's part 2 :}
Part 1: Taylor & Logan Part 2: Ben & Tyler Part 3: Aiden & Ashlyn [WIP]
Logan's POV
Two hours and twenty-eight minutes. It has been two hours and twenty-eight minutes and we've been stuck at 76% complete for forty minutes. Whoever made Windows deserves to burn and I stand by that, cause what do you mean that they can push an update and force restart my laptop.
"Logan when was the last time you updated this?" "Logan, why are there fifteen updates that need to be downloaded?" "Bro, when was the last time you actually shut down your laptop?"
...
"I've been busy, okay--"
So it might be my fault. Partially. I will admit that much, but the laptop's never given me a problem before and it was running fine. It's just old, and has a few odd... kinks? I mean, the left half of the mousepad is jammed to the point where it can't click, and, sure, the screen does go black every now and again, but just hit it a few times it works! It's character, charm even (and I can't be bothered to fix it...)!
It was, honest to God, easier for Aiden to run back to his place and grab his laptop.
"So we agree that Logan is off electronic duty right?" Taylor had asked as Ben was setting up the other computer to the television screen with Aiden helping. It was a unanimous decision. Ben and Aiden are the new tech guys.
"Yeah, that's probably for the better," I had conceded.
Ben Clarke
Ben goes next because he saved the groups sanity by suggesting that Aiden just gets his laptop. Everyone, thank Ben for the night not failing.
To address the obvious, Ben has a text to speech app on his phone, which is connected to a speaker, that he uses to present. I will say that there is a sort of humor in this for two reasons. One, the voice can either be monotoned like a typical text-to-speech program with funny pronunciation errors, or two, it will sound like one of those videos on tiktok where an AI is reading a tumblr post about SuperBats or something and gets progressively more expressive as time goes on. Personally, I want to hear exasperated robot Ben voice explaining to Aiden why "Life is a Highway" on repeat can and will be considered a torture method.
Ben's music taste is GODLY. And he's more of a eclectic listener too so he has experience with a good amount of genres. This man does not bash other genres of music that he doesn't care for, he thinks its rude to the person he's talking to and to the artist.
Aiden is the exception to this rule^^
DESPISES having to subscribe to music platforms. What do you mean that you can't listen to a song on repeat without paying, what do you mean that you will interrupt his carefully crafted playlist with a recommended song that does not fit the vibe. This end up derailing his presentation couple times.
He has a set criteria that he judges on: length, vibes, transitions, and replayability. Good playlists should at minimum be an hour, have similar vibes/sound while still being unique, the transitions between songs shouldn't be jarring, and the playlist shouldn't be painful to listen to after a month.
Taylor and Ashlyn helped him judge everyone's playlists by acting as secondary perspectives. Taylor is more open to everyone's music tastes while Ashlyn scrutinizes them more. They pretty much just took a playlist that everyone listens to regularly, one that they made but listen to it every so often, and their liked songs.
I would also like everyone to remember that the series is set in 2016... they would have songs mostly from the 2000s-2010s with the exceptions of some 90s and 80s songs. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I'm just saying that I looked up 2010s hit songs and I'm filled with nostalgia.
Overall, Ben's criticisms and recommendations are genuinely thoughtful. Especially the recommendations. For each person, after critiquing their playlists, Ben made a slide of genres and artists that each person should check out to expand their tastes.
(I'll probably make a bit about what songs were on their playlist, idk tho)
Group Reaction (how they ranked in comparison to each other)
Personally, Tyler and Logan getting the best ratings because their playlists are very consistent in their vibes and are replayable. I also think that Ben's music taste fits the most with these two for some reason, so they got the most song recs out of everyone.
Ashlyn is third in the ranking. She has one or two that she listens to occasionally, and they're pretty short. They are absolute polar opposites though. One of the playlists is rock, since she canonically likes Paramore (if you don't, get well soon), and the other is classical music for her ballet performances.
Taylor is next. Her playlist isn't bad, its just... a bit everywhere. Like it starts pretty good, but you can tell that somewhere along the lines of creating this playlist she just added songs that she remembered that she likes. It mostly fits the same genre. Ben makes her a more organized playlist after the presentation.
Aiden is dead last. It's not because his music taste is shit. Aiden actually has a pretty good music taste. No. Its because he only listens to his liked songs on repeat like a monster. It is musical whiplash. You go from a movie theme song, to crying, to listening to white girl club music, to rock, to crying again, and then for some reason the Home Depot jingle???? The only playlists that he makes are for jokes really. Do you know the John Mulaney bit where he plays "What's New Pussycat?" 27 times. Yeah, that's Aiden.
Tyler Hernandez
Tyler's next, and, I'm letting you know now that he sprayed the fuck out of Aiden for interrupting. Yeah, Ash pulled them a part.
Motherfucker is so pleased with himself, like its honestly so funny. Aiden had him by the collar and Tyler was just fucking smiling. Taylor does throw her slipper at him for being rude, but he could honestly care less.
The slideshow itself is the most soulless thing ever made, man used the Blank Google Slides template and called it a day. Like one stock image on each slide, and its so pixelated. He probably did it like an hour ago. That's why his presentation is funny because he's just jabbing at Aiden over and over with a basic slideshow that you'd see someone pull out in a Spanish 1-2 class.
You know what? He probably had another presentation about what piercing he think would suit the group best, and just did this one out of spite cause Aiden was being loud. I take back my previous statement about him doing it an hour before getting to Logan's place, he did this on his PHONE WHEN THE LAPTOP WAS UPDATING!!!! Like Logan was taking a walk, Ben was trying to fix the computer, the girls went to make sandwiches, Aiden was running errands, and Tyler made this in an hour.
His presentation is based off a tier system where it gets more effective with each method. Methods 1-3 are pretty basic where its just stuff like duct taping his mouth shut, 4 and onwards just gets funny
I'll be completely honest, each way he put is wild, and it gets progressively more deranged as the presentation goes on. These one's my favorite
"Number 9: Dying
You know, I thought this would be the best way, but the bastard got crushed by a ceiling and walked it off. I want you to try and convince me that Aiden wouldn't crawl out of hell just to ruin my day. "
"Number 10: Put him in a room alone with Ashlyn's mom and dad
*insert a picture of Aiden sitting not so comfortably in between Ashlyn's parents*
I don't even think I need to say anything else, I mean, I will, but like... look at him"
This is honestly the shortest presentation of the night but so far it's the most chaotic (he will quickly lose this title).
Tyler went through two spray bottles, mainly for Aiden, but he did spray Taylor once or twice. She threw a shoe at him. It's only fair.
Groups Reaction
Aiden is standing to the side with a towel around himself because Logan said his grandparents would kill them for ruining their couch. He's not exactly pissed but he is kind of sulking. Honestly this just makes his presentation so much better for him.
You know how Tyler asked for suggestions in the beginning, Ben and Ashlyn give him genuine ideas. Mainly Ben, just out of good humor you know. And Tyler's taking notes.
Taylor is giggling, but she does feel a bit bad for Aiden. At some point she gives him a consolation sandwich to raise his spirits.
Logan, however, doesn't and he's just quietly enjoying the scene that's unfolding around him.
The end of these two presentations are by far more chaotic than the first two, and it feels like its only going to get worse from here(/pos). Because right now Aiden is fighting with Tyler, getting him soaked too, Taylor is filming them while Logan provides commentary, and Ashlyn is standing with Ben setting up the next powerpoint.
While it was initially decided that Aiden would go last, Ashlyn suggested that she and him switch. Mainly so that he can drip dry while presenting, and sit down when he's done.
Aiden is following a presentation that was just jabbing at him, how do you think his is going to end up now?
#school bus graveyard#school bus graveyard webtoon#sbg#sbg (webtoon)#ben clarke#tyler hernandez#savannah squad#sbg powerpoint night#I might add more to tyler's later#not edited rn#we die like men
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Hi. I lurked your blog a lot a while ago but I stopped watching qsmp in January and eventually lost track of what was going on in the server except for some of the stuff with the admins. I also lost interest in Portuguese around January because after what happened around That Time, even that was just making me sad and upset.
I'm remembering that around this time last year was when I started watching a lot of qsmp, and I miss it. (A whole damn YEAR?!) And I miss some of the fanbase too. I learned just as much about language and culture from people in the fandom as I learned from the server itself. I especially miss the Brazilian CCs and I want to start watching them and/or qsmp again (Pac and Cellbit especially) and trying to learn Portuguese again. But I have no idea what's been going on and it's surprisingly difficult to try to figure it out by digging around on tumblr.
May I please ask for a quick summary, if you're up for it? Just as much as you feel like, it doesn't have to be extensive if you do it. I would be incredibly grateful but I know it might be a lot of work. (I already know about the stuff with Cellbit's ex, but I have no idea what else has been going on with him.)
And honestly, the main thing I want to know is the situation with Richarlyson's admin. If they're no longer in the project, that's okay, it's probably best for their health and I support it. But I just need to know if they know how loved and appreciated they are. Richas was my favorite egg and the admin was my favorite admin too. I hope they're doing well, wherever they are and whoever they are.
Sincerely, some random American
Hello!
Anon I will try my best but I have to be honest with you, I haven't kept up that well since january (my mental health was really fucked from all that happened and I needed to take a step back) but from important bullet points that I can remember
Please people add onto this so anon can get a true lore recap
- we had the server restart that introduced the mechanics of coins system and all that
- the mr duck from before was apparently replaced by a mr bunny
- Badboyhalo fucking died and then came back without any memories (if you want to see him dying the stream is sweet despair and it's beautiful and sad one)
- Tubbo died too but also came back
- Creation lore (literally cannot explain this, need some tublings on the job please)
- Fit's mission deadline arrived
- Fit was sent to a pit by Madagio (his boss) and like, he is still there right now
- on Cellbit, well, he was having a skate arc (literally, he would skateboard everywhere)
That's as much as I can remember right now (it's 3am so my memory is extremely fucked) and if anyone wants to add onto this please do, clearly I couldn't remember everything lmao
Now on Richas situation, he is currently on the server, he woke up and was on Bad's stream earlier today! So he is still around and shows up on Mike's streams a lot and also Bad
I'm sorry that I couldn't be of much help </3 but like I said, january fucked with me and I couldn't keep up as much or I would get physically anxious, so
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any writers on tumblr you wish you had the guts to DM or befriend because you like their work or you think they seem cool ?
My dude, you greatly underestimate my guts when it comes to DMing people. Of course, I'm aware that some people do not like others DMing them, and so I don't DM people who has not shown hints that they're open to it. I don't wanna bother them.
HOWEVER, as soon as they show they're okay with it, I am in there, slipping into their DMs, even as my heart pounds (I have anxiety). Ain't no fear stopping me from befriending a cool person.
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✨ TAG GAME CATCH UP TIME! ✨
i was tagged by @heymacy @creepkinginc @mickeym4ndy @y0itsbri to do the pinterest game
and by @heymacy @mybrainismelted @energievie @deedala @lingy910y
@transmickey @thepupperino @mmmichyyy @ardent-fox @sxltburn
@jrooc @blue-disco-lights @gallawitchxx @mickeysgaymom to do the tag game thank you pals!! 💙
✨ pinterest procrastination tag game ✨
rules: first celebrity, outfit, quote, and aesthetic pic on pinterest is your vibe
______________
✨ weekly tag wednesday friday ✨
name: julissa
age: 33
your time zone: est or edt whatever the fuck
what do you do for work? stupid little formulas in excel
do you have any pets? no 😞
what first drew you to this fandom? i actually watched the show when it first started. lost track sometime during a hiatus. then picked it back up during season 10 and started lurking while it was still airing. but i only started interacting in 2021 when i realized how nice and friendly and welcoming everyone was!
are you a morning person or a night owl? 100% night owl! i tend to be a cranky pants in the mornings
what are your hobbies? drawing and taking silly little pictures mostly! but occassionally i also enjoy reading and baking and crafting and sending letters heehee 🥰
how tall are you? 5'1 🤏
if you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? uhhh idk, i just want to be happy lol
favorite color? blue and green 🌊🌲
favorite book? man idk man there's too many man
favorite movie? (see above) but also almost famous
favorite fic? (see two answers above) but also i would be silly not to mention ITQD or LRPD because those are my most reread. sometimes i'll just blindly choose a chapter when i need to feel better lmao
favorite musical artist: (see three answers above) but also this changes depending on when you ask me. right this second? kevin abstract, griff, and troye sivan - there's some variety for ya lol
what is your average screen time so far this week? 3hrs and 27min - but that's a lie because i'm in front of a computer literally all day so...
what's the first app you open in the morning? depends on the notifications. but 9 times out of 10 it's discord
how long have you been on tumblr? like 14/15 years... on and off but um yea lmaoalsdkfj about 3 years actively posting on this account though
finally (and i know this one is hard) tell me a fun fact about yourself: i can fall asleep anywhere. just give me a few minutes.
i'm really late, but i'll tag a few babies @whatthebodygraspsnot @whatwouldmickeydo @metalheadmickey @howlinchickhowl @rereadanon if ya want. if not, this is just me giving you a little smooch 💙
#i haven't been feeling great so i was going to skip this but when i saw how many of you tagged me i felt a little light glowing heehee 💙#weekly tag wednesday#tag game
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