#meme realizing where she stands and building up her social game

[sophfandoms53]

So its looking like the house is slowly but surely imploding on itself

#IM LISTENING #jared and cirie having issues #cirie and felicia having issues #people clocking izzy and cirie #meme realizing where she stands and building up her social game #cory slowly losing it LMAO #blue still not campaigning to stay #and its tuesday #i went to asleep at like 10 and missed everything #these ppl can never be normal at night #bb25

[juniaships]

Actiontoongorlz's Top 8 Canon x OC Ships 💖💖

I've been looking at OTP/Couples memes for a while and decided that it's time for me to make my own! For an extra surprise I'm not putting Ben Tennyson x Jora Holiday on this list because I focus too much on them anyways & I want my other OCs & their loves to have the spotlight for a change. The timing couldn't be more perfect as we're close to Valentine's Day!!! If you don't support canon x oc or find my ships displeasing then move along because this is a Happy Place! 😁😁 Again these are couples that I consider my personal OTPs in regards to canon x oc. That and making more content with my ships in general! Be warned the text is long and contains spoilers for certain shows and such!!

Clarify: these are my own ocs so there's not going to be anyone else's oc/canon. I might have to save that for another post in the future! 💚 But yeah these are characters that I came up with :]

Alright I'm done ranting, let's get started!

1. Sonic x Lani: I never quite gave much thought into this pair as I should so I promise to do something with them in the future! I promise! What I appreciate about SonLani is that there's little drama, like everything is super chill because both parties are chill. It's not a big deal and they don't need grand gestures to show how much they care about each other. Unlike Preboot Archie with its carts full of poorly written romance and strangely OOC moments on Sonic's end, SonLani had a lot of time to grow, while keeping his established personality in check. They actually communicate with each other, and stick by each other thick and thin. Lani loves Sonic for who he is & has no plans on changing him. Likewise Sonic has someone he can rely on when things get tough; not to mention he can really be himself around her without going all "iLl sLOw dOWn fOr U." Plus the ship name I gave them is a huge nod to the games ^_^

2. Jason x Vanessa: A recent pair due to Vanessa being a new creation but I'm honestly in love with them right now. In-universe they are regarded as the prime example of 'Opposites Attract' in Odyssey. They didn't get along very well in Jason's first couple of months in town due to his hardheaded self and her aloof demeanor. But through events such as Blackgaard and Novacom they gradually learn to trust one another. They see each other in a different light, Vanessa realising that Jason is a lot more thoughtful than he lets on, and Jason discovering her hidden fun side and kindness. Vanessa provides challenges and a sense of normalcy Jason can enjoy away from spy business. Meanwhile Jason fulfills her thirst of adventure & simultaneous desire for a peaceful life as well as spirituality. They're a equals, regarding each other as such and not to mention the BANTER! Hard to believe a former nun can keep up with a secret agent both physically and trading barbs XD. There's also the Forbidden Love factor of Vanessa being the duaghter of Regis Blackgaard, Jason defending her because he KNOWS she is nothing like her old man. Their friendship and romance overcome so many obstacles. I can honestly say that if Vanessa was canon she'd be the type of person Jason would like to be with especially over Jillian Marshall *gags*

3. Kaysha Wallace x Leo Hamato: Now here's a ship that I want to get more into 😁😁 Honestly I love the idea of this pairing: the serious leadee x bubbly spirit! Kaysha is very perky yet understands Leo's feelings on shouldering so much responsibility (she being the oldest child in her family). She's very willing to support him because she doesn't want to see him get all weary from burden. Likewise Leo can be himself around her, and teach her to be more responsible. He doesn't doubt her potential and sees her as an equal even during those periods where she was not on par with the other ninja. Kaysha shows Leo it's okay to relax and let other people help him out and not shut everyone out. When Leo expresses his ability to give her a safe life she simply laughs it off; the way she sees it him simply there in her life is enough. The most interesting facet is their dynamic varies between shows, so you'd see different scenarios and reactions as well as similarities and differences in their romance subplot.

4. Artie x Rhodanthe: Another couple I seriously need to give more attention to, they're meant to be is the foil to Shrek and Fiona in several ways. Artie and Rho may come from different social classes but they're both searching for a purpose to prove their haters wrong. Artie lacked confidence while Rho was overconfident believing she didn't need help. Together Artie learns to stand up for not only for his kingdom and loved ones hut also for himself; Rho's pride gets tempered by Artie's kindness and willingness to compromise. Another thing I like is that Artie has someone who loves him for him not because he is attractive and of royal blood. Likewise Rho has someone who respects her in spite of her social standing & shares her beliefs in making life easier for the poor & outcasts. While both lacke the physical prowess of Shrek and Fiona they rely on each other's resourcefulness and strategic thinking to get by. Unlike Shrek and Fiona they don't get married at the end of their focus movie, resolving to figure out where to take their relationship next. They still have their own life goals and don't want to rush into a relationship which sends a pretty good message. However they have their disagreements - in fact they got a huge argument that became a plot point in Shrek Forever After - but through it all they rediscover the things that made them fall in true love with each other. I'm really loving the subplot I have planned where they forget their memories and slowly fall back in love again.

5. Finn x Alma: Surprise! Yes8 I have a Cars OC (that was originally a fanon Disney Princess) who is the niece of Tow Mater in my verse and she enters a relationship with Finn McMissile. The thing I love about this pair is that it allows Alma to use her skills to flourish, treating amd healing injured spies. She's also into travel and adventure so she can pretty much keep up with Finn. Likewise Finn realizes she is more than just a pretty face or a one-off fling but someone with the passion to face challenges head on; Finn seems to love a good challenge! But overall they'd make a nice pairing, Finn showing Alma the world and Alma showing Finn some of the more simpler things in life.

6. Alexander Paine & Qiu Jin: Well well well look at what the cat dragged in? If it isn't our first villain pairing? XD Just kidding only one half is a genuine villain. What makes this couple so unique in that their storyline goes way back to before the events of the show, he being a agent and she a mechanic. They loved each other deeply, even to the point of starting a family, but forced apart due to some troubling events. When they do get back together it's not so much a bittersweet reunion as Paine became a full villain and Qiu Jin had spent years in&out mental institution before being released There's visible pain & regret, Alexander desperately wanting a semblance of what they once had. He seeks power not just for himself for to heal her. But Jin refuses to go along with his schemes wanting nothing more than to move on and see their children. Jin is a huge Mortality Pet for him, but his own selfish desires for power is a major obstacle their love can't overcome. It's the more bittersweet of my pairings but an important one nonetheless.

7. Bruce Wayne x Nicola Holden: Ok the Brooding Guy/Gentle Girl trope is a mixed bag these days but I really like this trope in regards to Brucola. Like with Artie/Rho, Bruce and Nicola come from different social classes but has that same compassion and drive to help others. Nicola is someone Bruce can trust but at the same time she lets him know there are boundaries (aka don't use my weaknesses as a contingency plan). I also feel like Bruce needs a sort of normal love interest, while he has canon normal girlfriends most of them were pretty boring. At least with Nicola she has has a life outside being a love interest her own goals and motivations. She also loves Bruce for him, not because of his money and good looks. It's a generally healthy dynamic built on honesty & empathy. Another reason why I find this pair adorable is that it actually matches with the rest of the Trinity; you know, like how Superman is with a journalist and Wondy is with a soldier/agent. Nicola & Bruce having different ways of pursuing justice while still sharing similar moral codes. It helps that Nicola is actually a hero rather than an antihero/villain/straight villain (Bruce dating a villan would only make him look like a hypocrite). Nicola sees all facets of Bruce's life and makes the choice to stay; provides some much needed light not just in his life but also the rest of the Batfam. In turn Bruce has another connection to the normal world that is willing to be in his life and see him genuinely happy. They're mature adults who ground each other and build each other up.

8. Optimus Prime x Malina Lovelace: Okay is it just me or do I think TFA Optimus Prime needs more love? What's funny is that at first Malina didn't like the thought of being outshined by newcomers in her superhero career. Spending time with Optimus makes her realize that there's more to being a superhero than fame. Optimus doesn't look down on her, and is more than willing to work with her and appreciate her work. She becomes touched by his friendliness and aceepts him and the other Bots. At the same time Malina reminds Optimus that it's okay to make mistakes and move on, and that it's okay to cut toxic people out. I even wrote a noncanon ficlet where Malina calls out Sentinel and Blackarachnia for the way they treat Optimus. OptMalina is a romance built on respect despite the obvious differences. Not to mention they have each other's back, and they learn about each other each time. And just like with KayLeo and BatRose there's different continuities which means unique versions of the Optlina pair. The Bayverse *chortle* and Prime versions are a few I'd love to explore in the future!

Miscellaneous

- Chad Charming x Soraya Nedakh: Essentially snobby rich kid who learns to be self sufficient and see past appearances through a positive influence. Soraya helps Chad to understand that being royalty isn't just pretty clothes and parties but actually using that status to help others. And Chad actually has his views challenged: Soraya doesn't back down easily.

- Jetta x Zane: The concept of JettaZane (or A Touch Of Snow/IceMagic) is that the robot teaches the human what it's like to be human. Jetta started out as an extremely cold person and a loner, but her time with Zane - the literal ninja of ice - gradually melts her heart & she becomes more caring and accepting. So the robot programmed to be human helps the human raised to be a cold machine unlearn her toxic traits and reclaim her humanity. Also Pixane is kinda boring imo, like they're only together because they're both robots. Not very compelling if you ask me.

- Brian Crown x Kelly Arbol: The wellmeaning goofball and the beatnik poet are something I rarely see much of, but that pretty much sums up their ship. Brian may be a bit self centered but he has a heart of gold and through Kelly's influence he becomes more confident in being a worthy successor to his dad. Meanwhile Brian respects Kelly in and out costume and teaches her how to have fun. Not to mention Kelly interacts with someone outside her circle, which is a welcome change from the trope of only dating someone within your circle.

- Janus Lee x Lenora Rose: Another pair from the same show as Paine and Qiu Jin, there's not much to say on them other than it's one of the most tragic couples. Lenora died a long time ago due to circumstances beyond her & Mr. Lee's control and it's her death that was the catalyst to his gradual descent into evil. As the show goes on we see glimpses of their life together and realize that Lenora is more than the Ghost, she was someone with her own dreams and motivations. She and Janus were outcasts who found companionship in each other, and were able to build a life together using their hard-earned resources to help others. Even in the last few months of her life she didn't go down without a fight, wanting her legacy to be one of love and hope. It's her memory that may be the key to redeeming Mr. Lee in the future of A.T.O.M.

- Ben Florian x Paige: Again not much else to say but they're the antithesis of Mal x Ben. One thing that bothers me about Mal & Ben is that they are supposed to be equals when it's pretty darn obvious from the scenes they were not. With PaigeBen it's clear that they ARE equals who respect each other. Ben's agency isn't reduced to just love interest, he has someone he has good communication with and wants to see him succeed. Paige has someone who shares her interests and see her more than just that One American Newbie. They LEARN to work together without love potions involved. Plus we haven't had a commoner Disney Princess in a while so Paige fills in as someone who works her way into high status then uses that status to help others with Ben at her side.

That's enough of my Canon x OC OTPs! I hope to explore them more throughout the year :) I work hard to flesh out my OCs and their romantic storylines as if they're real 💚😌

I do have KayLeo week planned for Feb 14 to Feb 21 so don't be shocked when I start posting rottmnt stuff or art of Kaysha! Anyways these are my personal ships that I enjoy despite the lack of content I made of them, so hopefully I have the creative juices flowing to make more stuff! Final note I'm working on a platonic oc x canon meme to show that love doesn't have to be romantic. A

#canon x oc #oc x canon #otp #multifandom #actiontoongorlz #oc meme #oc x canon meme #long text tw

[nctzendreamz]

Psycho — Bae Joohyun

Irene really, really loves you. Too much, you begin to realize.

Warnings: Psychotic!Au, mentions of abuse, murder, language, and in general dark themes.

Word Count: 7k

January 16, 2020 — 9:45PM

She might as well have been a celebrity, as she was the key reason that this coffee shop got visitors. Her silky smooth skin, complimented by her sparkling eyes and perfect build was everything the masses needed to get up early in the mornings before work.

She couldn’t count all the numbers she had recieved in just the couple of months she had been employed at Velvets; the coffee shop that rested in the center of the city. It’s red and pink decor, followed by the hand crafted decorations from so many visitors in the past, was exactly where Bae Joohyun, more frequently referred to as Irene belonged.

She always had the same greeting. It was in the protocol, after all.

“Hello! Welcome to Velvet’s. How are you doing today?”

And today is no different. She always tries her best to look right at the customer as soon as she hears the familiar bell, indicating the door had opened, but her nail was chipping, and it was driving her nuts. She says her line, still fiddling before she realizes that it can’t be fixed until later.

“I’m so sorry! It’s been a long—“

And then she stops. She has seen a million people come and go to her place of work. Most of them found her beauty to be enchanting, but even the finest of them could barely make her blink. No matter how hard they tried to merge the conversation onto dinner, or what she was doing after her shift, her facial expression stayed the same—dull and unimpressed.

But you. You’re standing here in all of your glory, hair perfectly sculpted to your face. She loves this look on you. It’s the perfect color to compliment your perfect skin, and daring eyes as they swallow her whole. Usually, she did this to others, yet here you were, snatching her soul—seemingly without even trying. 

“A long day.” She finally breaths out. Her heart is racing at a dangerous pace, and she knows she looks like a creep right now. Her dark eyes are trying to break you down, and bring you to your knees, but it’s not working.

“I understand that.” You giggle. You seem tired. The bags under your eyes are slight, but still drooped enough to which she can tell you’re either a student, or you work a nine to five. Regardless, you’re not always free. Your clothing is simple. Sweats, a hoodie, and some ugg boots to shield you from the cold weather. “Your nails are so cute, by the way.” You smile, and it’s calming. It’s not a full on cheese session, but that makes it even better. It’s simple, just as you seem to be.

“Don’t flatter me.” She begins, showing them to you in full form over the marble counter. “It’s chipped.”

“And still cute.” You assure, smoothly moving a sole finger across the nail. “Is it gel polish?” You question with an adorable head tilt. Absolutely priceless. You’re probably very good at getting what you want. You know exactly how to move, and lighten your voice to make people feel what you want them to feel.

“It is. You know—

“It stays on longer.” You finish for her.

“Exactly.” She can’t hold in her smile. Was her heart...warming? If so, that meant her cheeks were turning pink, which also meant that you could see clearly that you were doing it right. If you were flirting with her, you were doing it so well, and so respectfully.

“I’ll just take a hazelnut.” You breathe out. Your hands are in your pockets, and you’re shifting the weight from your toes to your heels repeatedly. You must be cold. When you’re cold, you get jittery it seems. That’s why you’re in here in the nick of time. You’re definitely in school. You probably just got out of class, and have a shit-ton of homework to finish. That’s why you need the coffee and that’s why you seem so exhausted; although you’re trying to hide it from her.

“Hazelnut!” She shouts, turning around and giving the ticket to the real worker in here. She doesn’t even look at him as reaches out to snatch it from her. “Is that your favorite?”

“The only coffee I will drink.” You admit, covering your face with your hands. You’re embarrassed. You probably feel somewhat uncultured, and childish for even saying that out loud.

“Have you ever tried another?” She says in a light tone, tilting her head just as you did a few minutes ago. Still, you’re unfazed. You actually close your eyes for a moment before snapping them back open.

“I have. I think it was roasted chestnut? Whatever it was it was not good at all.” And now you’re laughing. Your laugh—it’s beautiful. It’s not a subtle, shy chuckle that would indicate you don’t laugh often. You laugh all the time. She can’t tell if it’s a boyfriend that always has you geeked like this, or maybe your friends. Maybe, even your girlfriend, but that would break her heart too much.

“Well, coffee isn’t the only good thing here. We’re not Starbucks, but our frapachinos are pretty good.” Irene mentions, eyes flicking to the frap menu to the left of her. She lets the red sweater she spotted slip off her shoulder ever so slightly, and you’re looking at it. It was for a mere second, but she saw it.

“Here you go.” Josh—the chef of this shift interrupted, handing you your coffee quickly.

“That’s the fastest you’ve ever done that.” Irene seethes, shooting an annoyed look to her co-worker.

“Trying to close. No offense.” Josh nods to you, already starting the trials and tribulations that closing involved. He’s wetting a rag in preparation of wiping all of the counters down.

“Oh, none taken. I hate to be that customer that comes in late like this. I just have all this work to catch up on and I figured buying aderall from the guy who sits beside me in Psych wasn’t the best idea.”

Irene breaks into a fit of laughter. Truthfully, she wasn’t faking it. You were so funny. But she was also right. She hit the nail right on the head, actually. Josh couldn’t believe his ears as he had barely seen her smile a genuine cheese. Of course he stayed silent. “You’re funny!” She coughs out through her fit.

“Don’t flatter me.” You smile brightly. Your smile is so pretty, just like you. God, she was running through too many scenarios on how she could make you stay. “Thanks for this pleasing experience. Today sucked and I needed it so badly. Do you guys have like a manager or something? Or like a survey?”

She had never been asked this before. No one had ever cared to commend them on their excellent service and caffeine recovery program they had in place for the addicts. “Um...no. But what you can do is come back. To repay us.” She whispers the last part.

She needs your name. She just knows someone like you has the most goregeous name.

And the heavens answers her request. She already saw that you had a necklace hiding under your hoodie, but you’re pulling it out now. It’s a name; she just needs to know who it is.

“That necklace, I love it.” She leans over the counter, squinting to see the name. “Y/N.” She mumbles. “Is that your name?”

“It is.” You respond. “People say it’s stupid to wear your own name, but it’s comforting to me. Plus, I don’t have someone else’s name to wear so.”

So, you were single.

“Don’t get too discouraged. Someone could come and change that. Very soon, actually.” She purrs, and she finally does it. She’s getting in your head. You’re seeing her.

You leave, your walk mezmorizing her in ways that makes her tingle. She barely follows the procedures of cleaning, as all she wants to do is go home. She needs to know everything about you.

“Y/N L/N. Twenty four years old. Younger than me.”

It wasn’t that hard to find your all your social media. All public, minus your Facebook account. Your Twitter consists of retweets of memes that probably made you scream, and your own little comedy that your select friends liked as they felt obligated.

She can’t lie; she was expecting to see a tweet about her. Something about a beautiful girl in the coffee shop. But there was nothing. Not a peep. Then again, maybe this was a good sign. Maybe you liked to keep your loves private. She’s searching through your pictures, embellishing in the sight of you until something stops her scrolling.

It’s a picture of you, and another guy. His hair is black, but his features are far from plain. He’s not impressive to her, but she knows to you, he’s everything. He seems to be just your type.

It’s been two years, and yet, it feels like a thousand.

The caption is so short, yet so sweet and gentle. It’s telling a million stories with one sentence, and even she can tell there’s real love in the photo. On your side, at least. She feels sick now. He’s tagged on the photo.

Lee Taeyong. That’s his name. The first place she searches is his likes, where she knows she’ll find proof of him being a scumbag. The way you addressed your necklace; it’s almost as if it was a mere replacement for a previous. It was a somber, silent story.

A lot of his likes are filled with hip-hop. Viral dances, artist appreciation, funny memes just as you enjoyed. You two probably found love through a similar interest. She continues to scroll though, where she finds something that truly twists her stomach. A quote.

Do you ever wish you could turn back time? Fix a mistake? Go back to when everything was perfect? When you could hold her and she was yours? Because same.

He hurt you. She didn’t know what he did, but she knows he hurt you. Her first guess was cheating, and she was going to stick to it. Maybe your chill nature was because your walls were up so high. Maybe your intense laughter wasn’t because you laughed all the time, but instead because you hadn’t laughed in a while. And it was all his fault—fuck Lee Taeyong.

He works at a video game store. No—he owns an arcade to be exact. She was going to see him. She needed to observe him in person. See his vibe. In the mean time, she can follow you on Instagram. That’s not too weird, right?

January 17, 2020 — 7:30PM

“Welcome to T’s.” A dull voice speaks.

Although the lighting in the arcade is practically blinding—all the neon creating a cool atmosphere, their customer service is awful. Probably a telling to his personality if that’s the kind of people he hired.

She waited for a moment, waiting for more. How can they just assume she knows what she’s doing? What kind of place was this? It’s a Saturday afternoon, and it shows because people are everywhere. Kids are running around, and adults are talking trash to eachother as they bet money on who will win the car game. “Men.” She sighs. But with her sighs brings the man she’s looking for. He’s almost blending in with his all black clothing, but she knows it’s him. He’s hard to miss, but not because of his features. It’s because she hates him.

Her current outfit; a tight red dress and dangerous heels aren’t really arcade attire, but she doesn’t care. She clacks her way over to Taeyong, who is surrounded by many people. He must be popular. He definitely cheated on you. The girls around him were ridiculous. So much for missing you.

She knows approaching so quickly would be foolish. It wouldn’t make sense. She decides instead to creep around, wanting to know who these people are. As she gets closer, she can recognize almost all of them. Chungha—your seemingly bestfriend was here, some guy with his arm around her shoulder. The Johnny she had seen pop up on your feed a few times, the Ten, and lastly, the Momo. Momo also seems to have some unspoken feelings about you.

She could feel it in the way she comments under your pictures. You couldn’t notice her flirtatious nature, but it was there.

The most beautiful human in the world.

My favorite.

Can I be you?

More like—can I be with you?

“Excuse me.” Irene finally speaks, interupting their laughter. She was hoping they’d give her a dirty look, so she could have even more of a reason to turn you against them, but they don’t. They look at her in synch, smiles still on their faces.

“What’s up?” Johnny says, a dashing grin on his face. Another who thinks she’s too beautiful. Exactly how she felt about you. “Are you new around here?”

Chungha punches him in the shoulder promptly, clearly not a fan of his approach. Irene can see why she was your chosen best-friend. Then again, was she really your friend? I mean, all of these people were hanging around your ex boyfriend and the only person who wasn’t here is you?

“Sorry about that.” She apologizes. “Us pretty girls are hard to come by, and they get extremely thirsty.”

She’s funny, but not as funny as you.

“Oh it’s fine. I’m Irene.” She introduces, placing her frail hand out. It connects with Chungha’s, and it’s genuine. “He’s right. I am new here. I’m a tad overdressed, I see.”

“I’m not complaining.” Johnny adds, receiving a punch from Taeyong this time.

So, he’s somewhat of a woman supporter too. I mean, he didn’t have to stop him from his words, but he did.

“I’m Taeyong.” He sighs, but he doesn’t place his hand out. That’s odd. The glow of games is making all of them look nothing less of models, but that doesn’t mean she’s impressed. No one was better than you.

“You know, you’re allowed to touch a girl other than your family and Y/N.” Johnny jokes.

The mention of your name makes everything in Irene’s body spike. They were acknowledging you, even though you weren’t here, which means maybe you didn’t mind them being here without you. Or maybe you and Taeyong weren’t exactly broken up. Something complicated instead.

He doesn’t say anything, just squints at his friend in an evil manner.

“Y/N.” Irene interrupts, putting a hand on her chin. “I met someone with that name last night.” She says. She knows exactly what she’s doing. “I work at Velvets, and this girl came in. She was wearing a necklace with that name.”

She watches for Taeyong’s reaction, and she gets what she wants. The mention of the cafe makes him almost flinch. Velvets must have been a place you two frequently visited together when you were dating. But then again, why did you seem so clueless about the menu? No, you weren’t. You mentioned you tried other coffee. It must have been with him. The way you laughed, it all makes sense now. You were thinking about him. A memory popped up.

She wants to ask if you were his ex, but that would be crossing the line. She had only known them for two minutes. It would seem too odd.

“Was she wearing sweat pants and a hoodie?” Momo questions now. Her hands are crossed over her chest, and Irene can’t read her. She doesn’t like that. Momo somewhat has her guard up.

“Yeah. I think she was.”

“That was definitely her. She’s been dressing like a complete bum lately.” Momo giggles now. If she didn’t already know this was her competition, she knows now. Momo is giggling just from thinking about you. You must make her laugh a lot. Irene doesn’t like her judgemental nature. You would be perfect in every state if she was a real one, but she’s not. So maybe she isn’t going to be a problem after all.

“You described her perfectly.” Irene seethes, quickly switching back to her normal state. The bright smile, and pink lip.

“How was she?” Taeyong questions. He still cares. She can see in in his eyes, but even if she was blind, it wouldn’t matter. His voice was so frail when talking about you.

“Oh brother.” Ten sighs

“I have a right to know.” Taeyong argues. He’s frustrated. He’s hot headed; at least when it comes to you.

“She seemed perfect to me. Laughing a lot, making jokes and stuff. I apologize if I’m out of place for this, but what’s going on? Is she okay?”

All of their faces seem to freeze for a mere second. They’re not uncomfortable with her question, but it seems like they’re wondering do they have permission to tell your buisness like that. They’re looking at Taeyong, presumably because it’s technically his buisness too.

Chungha is the first to speak. “She’s fine. These two,” she points to Taeyong, and then seemingly to thin air, “they broke up.”

Momo is oddly silent. She’s seemingly fuming, but no one is paying attention to her. That means none of these people know about her feelings for you. She’s been keeping it bottled up this entire time.

“Oh...sorry for asking.” Irene quickly scrambles, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I should’ve put that together by myself—

“It’s okay, beautiful.” Johnny places a hand on her shoulder, and she wants to slap the stupid grin off of his face, but he was going to be useful. He was stupid, and naive. One pull down of her panties, and he would tell her everything she needed to know. She moves into his touch, giggling just a tad.

The vibration of her phone distracts her, and she quickly searches for it in her Louis purse. You followed her back. One by one, you’re liking her pictures, and she can feel her heart beating hard through her little chest. Was her fairytale going to happen? Was she finally going to be able to fall in love again? God, she loved you already. Your sexy demeanor, your perfection. She needed you, and she would do anything to get it.

The bell of the shop dings, indicating that more people are walking in. From the way that they all freeze once again, she knows exactly who it is. She turns around and there you are. Her knees so badly want to get weak, but she controls herself. Today, you’re wearing an oversized t-shirt. She can’t tell if you have shorts on under, but she hopes you doesn’t. The shirt is from some band you listen to, and you have white converse on your feet. High top.

Momo is the first to greet you. She practically jumps into your arms, and Irene notices the way you don’t seem to mind. Her brain is starting to shock her, jolting her anger to all the wrong places. She could fucking kill Momo right now. The two of you are spinning around, Momo’s legs around your waist and you inhaling her scent. Everyone else is looking at the scene with a soft smile—they’re so stupid. How can they not see?

Momo finally returns back to the floor, and now you’re looking at her. She quickly fixes herself up, so quick, that you don’t even notice.

“Irene?”

The way you say her name is causing her to pool. She wants to hear you say it for the rest of the night. She takes a deep breath, not hiding it this time before she strides to you, hugging you. She knows this won’t make you uncomfortable. You seem to be willing to catch some affection for people you like. When she feels your hands on her middle back, she inhales you. You smell like spring, even in the winter, and that’s so beautiful. You’re so beautiful. She allows her cheek to graze against yours ever so slightly, and your noses to touch before she backs away. She sees the way you bite your lip. No one can see you but her, and she likes the thrill. It’s dangerous.

“Johnny.” You sigh, walking past him without a look. You don’t like Johnny—that’s obvious. Was he possible the reason for you and Taeyong’s break-up? “My Tenny!” You screech, putting his face in your hands like a baby and kissing his cheek softly. You have a soft side. “Chungha~” You sing, embracing her tightly. Now it was the big reveal. Would you speak to Taeyong? Or would you two do the awkward stare.

He still loves you. It’s obvious in the way that the love practically pours out of his eyes, and his hands shake. “Y/N.” He whispers. It’s like no one else is in the room. You must have not seen any of them in a while, based on the way they stare at you admiringly.

“Hey.” You whisper back, slowly moving to hug him. He closes his eyes for a mere second, and it’s all over. Now you’re back beside Irene, who’s very pleased.

“Irene was just telling us that the two of you know eachother.” Johnny speaks. He’s trying to get back into your good graces. It’s so obvious it’s painful.

“Yeah.” You smile, but not at him. “I was at Velvets getting my usual, and then we met. Surprised to see you here though.” You’re looking at her now.

“What? Just because I’m in a dress means I can’t be a gamer?” She jokes, and everyone around laughs. Everyone but Momo.

“No. Momo wears dresses.” You say, slapping her thigh gently. Why do you keep touching her? She’s standing right here, looking good for you, and you’re flirting with Momo? “There’s just a lot of assholes in a place like this. You don’t seem to be interested in that.”

“Well, how about I prove you wrong? Loser has to buy the other coffee.” She prompts.

She hopes everyone else looks jealous. Especially Momo. Knowing you, even if you wanted to say no, you weren’t going to deny her.

“Any coffee?” You question with a raised eyebrow.

“Anything you want—that is, if you win.”

“I say we have a tournament.” Momo adds in. “I mean, it’s been a while since we’ve all been together lile this.”

Shut up, slut. God, Irene just wants to wrap her hands around her neck. She had to get you away from her as soon as possible.

“Sounds good to me.” You agree. “Is that cool with you?” You look back at her. You’re already hooked enough to have to ask permission when you had only known her for 24 hours.

“Does it matter if she is?” Johnny mentions.

“Johnny!” Chungha screeches. “Why are you being such a dick!”

“Don’t answer that.” Ten prompts, taking his friend by the hand and leading him outside.

“Anyways, that sounds like a great idea to me. Let’s roll!” Chungha yells in sorority fashion, and now all of you are going to where the fun is. There’s a million games to choose from, but it seems like you guys have a section you’re leading her to.

“As you can see, the games only get harder and harder from here.” You explain to her, placing a hand on her lower back.

“So like, kids shouldn’t be going this far.” She giggles.

“Exactly. Consider yourself privileged.” You wink.

“Just because I’m short and cute does not mean I’m a child.”

“You’re going to have to prove that to me.”

You’re definitely flirting with her now. And to make it even better, more fiesty than she had expected it to be.

“What are you doing after this?” She flirts back, placing her hand on your back now.

“You’re taking me to get coffee.”

“Velvets will be closed.” She pouts.

“I didn’t say you had to take me to Velvets. They sell hazelnut coffee everywhere.”

“You really think you can beat me, can’t you?”

“No. I know I can.”

And you did. You beat the clean breaks off of her in every single thing. The whole tournament went to hell as you and Irene were completely in your own world. You ran from game to game like children.

You weren’t rude enough to not say goodbye, but it was quick. You knew exactly what was going to happen after tonight, and you needed it. It had been too long.

“You’re not coming over?” Is the last thing you hear right before you and Irene head out. It’s Momo again, and her eyes are sad as she seems to know exactly what’s going on. “We haven’t had the big sleepover in so long, and I cleaned my house.”

Irene is reading you like the open book you are, and you’re fighting it. You haven’t seen your friends in a while, and you want their attention. You love the fact that they miss you, and you miss them even more, but you don’t crave them like you’re craving her right now.

“I promise next weekend.” You try to plead.

“But I got drinks.”

“A promise is a promise.” Now your pinky is out. The way Momo seemingly gives up on her complaining shows that your promises held weight. She connects her pinky with yours, before lightly caressing your knuckles with her thumb. You don’t think anything if it, but Irene knows, and her eyes are burning holes into her skull.

As soon as the two of you reach the car, you’ve forgotten about the coffee.

With a slammed hand on the foggy window, Irene is in bliss.

“So much for that hazelnut coffee, huh?” She purrs, kissing you once more.

“You still owe me.” You giggle.

“You’re absolutely right.” She’s now crawling down your body, fully prepared to repay you for your victory. More like her victory. She had won, and it was easy. You were easy, and yet she still loved you. She would never let you go, and anybody who got in the way of you two being together forever will feel her wrath.

February 17, 2020 — 2:00PM

“Wait wait, so you’re telling me that I leave for two seconds, and Y/N and Irene are fucking?”

“Not just fucking—fucking dating.”

Johnny and Taeyong were catching up, just as brothers did. After being pulled out of the arcade by Ten, it had been decided that Johnny needed a break from his crew. There was clearly some animosity—rightfully so within the group, and a month break was much needed.

“I didn’t even know Y/N...”

“Exactly.” Taeyong finishes for him, taking an aggressive sip from his coffee. With the slam, some of it splattered on the table. He can’t help but think about how you would immediately clean it up as little things like that bothered you, if you were here that is.

“Well, how do you feel about it?”

“I don’t understand how this happened so quick. I mean, think about how long it took me and Y/N to start dating. We talked for what felt like years before you guys pushed us to make it official.”

“You mean pushed you.” Johnny corrects, sipping his Americano with shade.

“Whatever. I just don’t like it. I mean, this Irene girl just shows up, and takes Y/N away that quick? That quick?”

“I mean, she is fine as hell. Are you saying you wouldn’t be down for that?”

“Can you not be gross for like two seconds?” Taeyong fumes.

“Shh.” The congregation of the library says in unison, causing him to throw his head down in shame.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Month of meditation actually did something I can assure you.”

“I want to look into her.”

“As in, like stalk her? Do you really think you’ll find anything?”

“I don’t want to, but this all happened too coincidentally. I know you think I’m crazy,” a nervous habit formed as a little boy, Taeyong is scratching his elbow like a manic. His rash has appeared, and rash equaled bad news.

“Well, you know I’m on your side. You might be stupid and crazy, but as your best friend it’s my job to make sure you don’t do it alone.”

They weren’t alone, even when they thought they had found a secluded area. She was there, disguised as a typical college girl. She sported a bob that made her look extremely basic, and her ears heard every drip of that conversation. Of course, being the idiots that they were, a bathroom break included them leaving all their belongings on the table.

February 21, 2020 — 12:00AM

“Do I know you?” The blonde girl says in a low voice. She’s scared as she approaches her vehicle. She worked the late shift tonight, and deep down she knew it was a horrible idea, especially when her boyfriend was too drunk to come and get her.

“You don’t need the extra money—I got you, babe.”

But she ignored him.

“No, but I know you.”

“Did my boyfriend sleep with you? Because if you want revenge, I’m not the one you need to be speaking to.”

“What would make you think that?”

“Past trauma.”

“So he’s cheated before.”

“No, past trauma.” She doesn’t know why she’s entertaining this stranger. Maybe it’s because she’s so beautiful. You can’t help but to trust her, even in such a suspicious predicament. I mean, she was leaning on her fucking car like she pays the note. “Are you an addict or something? I barely have anything for myself, okay? Maybe next week.”

“You’re Johnny’s girlfriend, aren’t you?”

“I’m calling the police.”

But Irene snatches her phone from her, slamming it on the ground. The black gloves that cover her hands secure her non-existent finger prints, and the phone shatters.

“Literally what the fuck!” The blonde screams, but it doesn’t matter. They’re in a parking garage and there’s no one here to save her. She tries to run away, but Irene is just too quick. The knife that was behind her back connects to the back of her neck, and she haults.

“This is for your nosy fucking boyfriend, who believes that he can somehow find out about my past and make Y/N leave me. How foolish of him.” She chuckles, letting the blood trickle down her arm.

She’s crying and screaming, but as stated, it’s irrevlant. Irene 2 — Johnny 0.

February 18, 2020 — 9:00AM

“I just...I just can’t believe it. I told her not to work that stupid fucking shift.”

“It’s not your fault, Johnny.”

“Yes it is. If I wouldn’t have been drunk out of my ass, I could’ve saved her somehow—I don’t know. But now she’s gone. I loved her. I loved her so damn much and I was finally pulling it together because of her.”

The rest of you sit on the couch, struggling to find the proper words for such a tragedy. Johnny is sobbing into his hands now, while Ten is rubbing his back gently. Taeyong is off to the side staring into space. You’re familiar with this look. He was thinking heavily about something, but you obviously would never find out what it was. Chungha is sitting on your right, rocking back and forth. Her nails are chopping at her fingers—a clear sign of her fearfulness. Similar to Taeyong, Momo is silent. You expected her eyes to be on you in search of some answers, or silent suspicions, but she refuses.

Finally, Irene is beside you to the left. You didn’t know Johnny’s lover that well, but you knew she was a decent girl. She didn’t deserve this, and you couldn’t even imagine what would it would feel like to lose someone you loved. Anyone sitting in this room. Her frail hand is locked on your elbow while her thumb is trying to soothe you.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispers. Her lips find your shoulder in something sweet and comforting. “Who would do something like this? Did she have an ex boyfriend?”

It takes a minute for Johnny to find a response.

“She did tell me about some guy who began to get a little possessive, so she broke it off. But she never mentioned him coming back.”

“Maybe it was him.” Irene says quietly. You can tell she’s trying not to say too much, as she hadn’t been hanging with the crew for too long. You’re grateful that she’s here for you.

“Let’s just let the police do their job.” Momo finally speaks, standing up from the loveseat she sat on alone. Something is wrong with her, but you’d have to figure that out later.

“Let’s order some food.” You decide, standing up as well. “I know you might now want to eat right now, but it’ll clear you head even if just a little bit. We are all under a lot of stress right now.”

“I agree, babe.” Irene commends, smiling at you sadly.

“Alright.” Johnny sighs. He also rises, but he goes straight into the back of his apartment instead. None of you were worried about him hurting himself. You knew he needed time to let his emotions out, as he was constantly trying to be society’s definition of a man.

Your phone vibrates, and it’s Irene who’s hitting you up.

I think you should check on Momo. Was she friends with her? She just seems really upset and I know how close you two are.

You have to contain the smile that wants to come out for the sake of the situation, but she was so perfect. She didn’t get jealous about anything. And she was so in love with you. It had been too long since you could confidently admit that this wasn’t a one-sided situation.

Your feet are approaching the kitchen softly, trying not to make such a scene. Momo is leaned over the counter at first, but when she sees you she tries to straighten up.

“Hey.” She whispers, preparing for eavesdropping.

“Hey.” You say back.

Why was this so awkward? It was never like this before.

“I just wanted to check on you.”

“I’m fine.”

Which means she’s not. You see her observing your current outfit—yoga pants with a shirt she had bought you years ago covering your body.

“Do you want to talk later?” You offer, putting a tiny smirk on your face remembering that usually made her feel better.

“I think that would be good, actually. I don’t know if we’ll have the time, but maybe when everyone’s asleep?”

“The best thing I’ve heard all day.” You open your arms out, and you know she won’t deny you. She lets out what seems to be all the stress from her week as she lets you engulf her. It had been so long since the two of you were close like this. On your nights where you couldn’t sleep from past thoughts, it was Momo who would come over and hold you until you could.

“I’ve missed you.” She mumbles into your shoulder. “So much.”

“I missed you too. I’m sorry I haven’t been exactly here as much.”

“Irene...I know.” She pulls away at the mention of her name, and it’s odd timing. “Let me just ask you something— as one of your best friends?”

“Go ahead.”

“Don’t you think the two of you are moving a little fast? I mean, we saw the girl for the first time a month ago, and now you’re all committed and in love with her. I’m just concerned.”

She made several points. It wasn’t that you made people wait for you in the past. This whole scenario was just too quick, especially since you had just gotten out of a relationship not too long ago.

“Are you insinuating that I’m not over Taeyong?”

“No.” She’s confident in her answer. “I don’t want you to be with him anyway. He cheated on and is a fat jerk.”

You snort at her last two words, and she’s punching your shoulder lightly even though she’s laughing as well.

“You’re so negative minded.”

“Continue.” You breath out, covering your mouth.

“I just feel like—

The door flies open, revealing Irene on the other side. “Sorry to interrupt, but have you ordered the pizza yet? We’re all starving.”

In reality, she wasn’t in the mood for food. Ten and Taeyong had went to the back to check on Johnny, and Chungha was using the bathroom. She had heard your whole exchange and to say she was pissed was an understatement. Why didn’t you try and defend her? You should have walked out of the room, and straight into her lap the minute the slut tried to question you on something she knew nothing about.

Both of you look like you’ve been caught, and she relishes in that. The fear that is in both of your eyes.

“Yeah I got you.”

That’s all you have to say to her? First, Momo was able to get you to open up that fast, when you hadn’t even revealed to her any details of you and Taeyong’s relationship.

“Or, you can order it if you want. Me and Y/N were just catching up I’m sorry to take her away.” The slut speaks. Her voice bleeds cockiness, even though her face is soft and sweet. She knows that Irene is mad. She’s enjoying it.

“Okay.” Is all Irene mumbles before going back to the living room.

“What was that about?” Momo is looking at you in confusion and fear. She had always had suspicions about Irene. She just seemed too nice—too willing to be everything you needed, when in reality she didn’t fit the role.

Momo had been in love with you since she met you. Your smile, the way you loved everyone no matter their differences, and your seemingly never ending talent of making her laugh. You were magical, but she was okay with being on the sideline. She had done it for two years straight while you were with Taeyong, and even during your nights of crying over she kept it to herself.

She knew keeping it to herself was only hurting her, but she was willing to be hurt for the sake of your happiness as you were happy with Taeyong. She could see how much the two of you loved eachother, and even after everything went down, she didn’t want to stop your journey of loving herself to have to figure out a way to reject her feelings nicely.

“Guess I’ll have to find out later.”

You seem frustrated as your leg is tapping up and down—even though you’re not sitting. Your breathing is getting faster and faster, and she knew this picture. This is exactly how you used to react when Taeyong made you upset, or neglected your feelings.

“Does she know what pizza you like?” She decides on, trying to pick your mood up with her bare hands as you were always able to do for her. She finds herself dancing slightly—her go to when she didn’t know what to do.

“I should probably go find out.” You smack her exposed stomach before walking back into the living room, where everyone has returned. Momo is behind you, and Irene is staring straight at the wall.

“The pizza should be here soon.” She whispers without removing her eyes.

“That’s goo—

By soon, even she didn’t seem to have meant this soon. The door is being knocked on quite aggressively, and all of you are looking at eachother trying to decide who’s going to answer.

“I’ll get it.” You step up. You were always the one in the group who would rise to the things you knew they were scared to do. Before you can even put your hand on the knob though, the banging is coming again, this time even louder. “I’m coming!” You spit full of attitude, and at the same time, everyone but Irene is rising to the occasion to stand by your side. You would always protect eachother—even from the pizza man. Johnny steps infront of you, opening the door himself.

It’s the police, and they don’t look happy.

“Are you Johnny Suh?” The chubby officer questions.

“Uh—yes.” He stutters. “The police said I wasn’t getting questioned until tomorrow.”

“Oh cut the crap.” The other offer says. “You’re under arrest for the murder of Cierra Valdez.” He rips the handcuffs from his belt, and he’s trying to turn Johnny around, but Johnny will never go down without a fight.

“What are you talking about!”

“Get off of him!” You yell, immediately trying to pull him in your direction. Everyone else follows, together more powerful than the police. Johnny is out of their grasp for just a few moments before a gun is pointed towards all of you.

“Drop your hands now!”

“You’re not gonna fucking shoot us!” Taeyong screams. It was the most passion Irene had heard come from his lips, and she was quite entertained. She was entertained by all of this. If you wouldn’t have been letting Momo flirt with you, she would’ve gotten up to shield you, but you didn’t, which is why she’s sitting on the couch in fake shock.

“Y/N get over here!” She yells. She doesn’t even have to wipe the sly smirk off her face as nobody is looking at her.

But you ignore her.

“I didn’t kill her!” Johnny is crying all over again, his whole face soaked in tears. “I loved her. Why would I kill her?”

“Anything you do or say will be held against you.” The Miranda rights are flowing out of the officer like he does this all the time, and now they’re dragging him out. His back is scratching on the cement.

“Y’all have to help me!” Johnny screeches. The whole apartment complex can hear what’s going on, and it’s killing him inside. He didn’t kill the love of his life. He didn’t. “I loved her.” He cried once more. “I fucking loved her!”

Continued

#red velvet #red velvet irene #kpop #lgbt kpop #kpop imagine #red velvet imagine #irene imagine #nct #nct 127 #nct imagine #nct taeyong #nct johnny #kpop angst #irene scenarios #whew #nct scenario #nct angst #nct imagines #sm

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Can you write a todomomo oneshot where Momo uses a bunch of cliche pick up lines on Todo because of her new found confidence thanks to him and he's all 😳

Do you realize how WEAK I am for when the girl does the wooing? Because I am INCREDIBLY WEAK FOR IT!!

The first time it happened, he didn't notice it. Todoroki Shoto was an intelligent guy when it came to a good many things, but relationships with other people? Not so much. His social graces were far and few between. He sometimes felt his only saving grace was that two-thirds of the three classmates he associated with as friends were just as socially inept as he was, and Uraraka was too polite to tell him outright he was making an ass of himself.

He was sitting at the kitchen table with Uraraka, Sero and Ojiro, working on a group presentation for their Modern Hero Art History class. It had been a long day for them all so Uraraka had suggested they have some coffee - which he was pretty sure Kaminari had pilfered from the teacher’s lounge - to help them stay perked up. He was preparing his own cup by dumping a few small creamer cups and packets into it. Momo, who was walking past them with a cup of tea, stopped to set a small packet down in front of Shoto. “Here, Todoroki-San, you dropped your name tag," she said with a little giggle and then flitted off before he could point out he didn't have a nametag.

Uraraka and Sero both let out noises of delight while Ojiro paused in stirring his own cup to watch. “Oh, my gosh!” Uraraka squealed quietly once Momo was gone. She grabbed Shoto’s shoulders and shook them excitedly. “Todoroki! Yaomomo is totally into you!”

“What?” he asked, blinking slowly.

“She’s flirting with you, dude!” Sero agreed, clapping him on the back.

“How did she do that?” he asked, cocking his head at them. The pair of them stared at him before looking at each other. “I mean… She just gave me a sugar packet.”

Uraraka released his shoulders and clasped her hands together in front of her, taking in a breath in preparation. “Todoroki,” she said, bringing her hands down in a chopping motion with each syllable of his name.

“Oh, no,” Ojiro trailed quietly as he picked up his mug, “Uraraka is about to break it down.”

“Todoroki, my friend. My buddy. She was using a line on you,” the brunette said with a small huffed laugh. The dual-user looked at her as she moved to sit down next to him, still moving her hands as she spoke.

When he only stared, Ojiro chuckled and set his cup back down. “You've seen what Kaminari does when he sees someone he thinks is cute, right? How he’ll say silly things?” he prompted. Todoroki paused to think about it before nodding. “That’s kinda what Yaomomo was doing. She’s trying to use pick-up lines to flirt with you.”

“I appreciate your insights,” he said, opening the sugar packet and pouring it into his drink, “but I think you’re misunderstanding her intentions. Yaoyorozu would never be interested in me like that.”

The other three exchanged unconvinced looks before falling back into focusing on their assignment.

The next time it happened, he was much more aware of it. It was during a group student session. Since moving into the dorms, it was often for the students of Class 1-A to try and work on class assignments together. There were the obvious outliers that couldn’t be coaxed to join - Bakugo and his group were more times than not holed up in his room while he berated them - and then there were those that were outright banned - Mineta - but for the most part… It was typically nice. The session this time consisted of himself, Momo, Midoriya, Iida, Uraraka, Jirou and Hagakure.

Momo had leaned a bit closer as he explained how he got the answer he did for the math problem they were discussing and nodded. “You must be a bank loan, Todoroki-Kun, because you have my interest,” she hummed before moving to stand. Everyone else at the table gawked at her, though Hagakure was also letting out quiet little squeals, before she indicated the kitchen. “I’m going to make some tea for everyone. I’ll be right back.”

The second she was gone, everyone was staring at the still befuddled Shoto. Uraraka dropped her chin into her palm and sneered at him in amusement. “Still think we’re reading too much into it?” she drawled.

“Yes,” he huffed.

“Wait, has Yaoyorozu done something like this before?” Midoriya asked, turning his wide-eyed gaze to her. She let out a small hum and nodded slowly, gaze never leaving Shoto. “Wha-! Isn’t that flirting? What she’s doing?”

“Wait, is there even a question of what it is?” Jirou asked with a laugh.

“It is! It totally is!” Hagakure agreed excitedly, flailing her arms excitedly. Based on how the sleeves of her shirt were moving, anyway, he assumed that was what she was going.

“It’s not,” Shoto insisted with a glare. The others flinched back a bit while Uraraka continued to sport that look of smug satisfaction. “I am not a fool. I would be well aware if Yaoyorozu was flirting with me or not. And I know that she is not. Now drop it.”

But then it kept happening and suddenly Todoroki was aware that he may have miscalculated a bit.

One morning, after going out for a morning jog with Midoriya and Iida, Momo had commented, “You must be tired from running through my mind all morning.” As to whether or not a few flickers of flame jumped off his shoulder when he excused himself to the elevator and was by himself, he couldn’t say.

And few days after that they were doing some minor Quirk assessment training. As he walked to join her in the group of completed student to observe their peers, she smiled at him. “You were incredible, Todoroki-Kun!”

“Thank you,” he said, plucking his water bottle up and taking a quick chug. When he tilted his head back down to screw the cap back on he noticed she was still watching him. He cocked his head at her, causing her to blink and a faint pink tint to come to her cheeks.

“Ah, my apologies! There must be something wrong with my eyes!” she said quickly, but didn’t tear her gaze away.

“Oh?” he asked.

“Yes, because I can’t seem to take them off of you,”

He had stared with wide eyes for a second before a huge icicle peaked on his shoulder, causing them both to startle and jump apart. He muttered a small apology for startling her, which she politely waved off. As he turned to take another sip from his drink, he noticed the ever-smug Uraraka sitting across from them and watching. He’d never seen someone who could be the living embodiment of those smug cat memes Kaminari liked to show him, but he felt that was the best way to explain her expression.

And so, in need of insights on how to properly address his mutual interest, he asked her about it in private. And Uraraka had given him the advice of “Play her game with her.” And then, seeing he was still confused, she’d told him exactly what to say once the opportunity presented itself.

It came a week and a half later, during a minor training session. He and Momo were paired up to go against Monoma and Kendo from Class 1-B in an obstacle course of sorts. Each team had to traverse through the mangled remnants of a city one at a time and locate flashing beacons throughout the wreckage that represented civilians. They were being tested on their ability to work together and organize rescue efforts, wanting to see how well they’d improved since their provisional licensing exams. The only catch was that the opposing classes team would be working against them. While Shoto himself and Momo took their turns as the Hero Team, Monoma and Kendo were taking their turn as the Villain Team.

There had been a beacon on top of a bent and twisted lamppost, hanging over the edge of a ravine of debris, that Shoto had gone for using an ice platform. As he moved to get off, though, he spotted Kendo and Monoma from the corner of his eye. Kendo enlarged one of her hands before punching it into the portion of broken building propping up the lamppost and nearly sending Todoroki toppling over into the ravine.

“Todoroki-Kun!” Momo shouted before conjuring up a whip and thrusting it out towards him. He caught it with one hand, the rest of it wrapping around his wrist, and she gave a harsh tug. He was airborne for a moment before he felt arms settle under his thighs and back, pulling him flush against a warm, soft body. His mind jumped back into gear and, while peering over Momo’s shoulder as she moved to retreat, he conjured up an ice wall to give them some extra coverage.

Once they were a good ways away, Shoto remembered himself and glanced up at Yaoyorozu. “Are you okay, Todoroki-Kun? You aren’t hurt or anything, are you?” she fretted, pulling him a bit closer to her so as to get a better look at him.

This was it. This was his chance!

“I suppose I am a snowflake,” he began, watching the confusion flit across Momo’s face, “because I am falling for you.”

And then she let out an adorable squeaky sound and dropped him. It was great.

#crumbles grumbles #TodoMomo #my fics #I had so much fun writing this! #Plus I had to go with Wingwoman Ochako because you know she would!

[trojansblr]

#FightOn! (01) | ot7

Summary: The University of Southern California is a prestigious school - only the best or the richest can attend. That means there will be a lot of spoiled brats. Two groups start colliding and the entire college shift alongside them. What will happen when sparks starts to flow between them? Drama will certainly be there.

Pairing: BTS with -eventually- female characters

Genre: Fluff, Smut (future), Angst, CollegeAU! 

A/N: First chapter is finally here! For more intel about who the boys are or what they study in this college universe go to my page, there’s real twitter accounts!!! For more information feel free to message me :) ALSO if you want to appear in this fic (I’ll make it as interactive as possible) send me your name and zodiac sign + what you do or want to do in college and I’ll make it happen!!! I really hope you guys like it :) 

The Characters • Day 1  • Day 2

“Good morning South!” Yoongi’s voice echoed through the halls of the school and even though he should sound excited, his voice maintained in a monotone, a really, really, bored and sleepy one. Yoongi was the radio boy basically. Every morning he had to wake up extra early to be able to do all the announcements the university needed him to. It was his giant love for music that made him volunteer to take care of the station – that and he really enjoyed being alone, so he had a whole studio for himself. Plus, everyday the halls were filled with good music. “Today for lunch we will have pizza and don’t forget everyone, Saturday we have the volley’s male team game. You won’t want to miss it!”

He ended his morning announcements and started preparing the playlist that will play during the rest of the day when there was a knock on the door. He tiredly gets up to open the door that he usually locks to keep noisy and unwanted people out. When he sees Carolina, a smile immediately forms in his face.

“Oh my life saver!” He says tiredly as he swings an arm around her neck and pulls her inside, grabbing one of the coffees she’s holding with his other hand. “Good morning for you too.” She chuckles. “What’s good for today?” “Pizza for lunch.” He chuckles as well. “I’m getting too old to do this morning routine. Namjoon should put some pills on his dad’s coffee.” He complained. Every morning he had to talk with the director to receive the announcements and it was a headache every time. “You’re in your twenties Yoongs…” Carolina said rolling her eyes. “But yeah, that would be nice… maybe. I slept only three hours I think and I have volley practice yay!” She threw her arms in the air pretending to be cheerful but failing miserably. “So I really need the push.” “You’re also getting too old for that… see?!” He laughs when she yawns. “Do you wanna help me with the playlist? There’s still a couple of songs I can add and I always trust your taste.” “Team granddads always.” She smiles. “Sure! What vibe are we setting today?” “Well we have to go more ‘college vibes’” He said throwing air marks and mocking the director’s tone. “So help me out, no swear words either!” He jokes. “Oh god, we’ve gone preppy…” She let’s out a sigh and sits on the end of his lap, looking at the list he already had. “But ok, I’m here to help! What about cosmos midnight to cheer up our morning? Hmm the ‘Talk To Me’ one?” “Once again my lifesaver.” He squeezed her sides. Carolina and Yoongi would seem like boyfriend and girlfriend to everyone that passed by them. They were both crazy for each other, to the point where they would really take a bullet for the other, not just for the charm of Bruno Mars. But in reality, it was a genuine friendship. They were very similar and they were comfortable around each other to the point where not touching was weird – piggybacks, cuddling, hugs. The only thing that kept them from dating each other was the fact that they praised their friendship too much and Carolina now had her eye out to a mystery drawing guy. “Let me just add that one to the playlist and we are good to go.” “Where are we going and can you please take me on your back?” She asked making him let out a laugh. “We’re going to the cafeteria because I’m starving and yes, I’ll carry your lazy ass.” “Just kidding! You need to be in shape for your next game.” She said tapping on his back because he was already kneeling down for her to climb on.  “It’s your loss. Come on.” He said and once again swung his arm around her neck as he closed the door of the radio station and headed towards the cafeteria.

By this time of the morning, the halls of Southern California University were starting to get flowed by people who had morning classes, which was basically all the freshman and junior. There were two juniors in particular that always were theme of conversation and caught a lot of eyes everywhere they went. Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin. They were childhood friends that were inseparable. Taehyung is majoring in Fine Arts and was the most eccentric it could get. He had blue hair and looked like a god. But he was the kindest person on earth too so that made him have a lot of girls swooning over him. As for Jimin he was majoring in Performative Arts and was head of the football team, he was the quarterback since his first year and that made him be the most popular boy in the entire university in a glimpse of eyes. Now, despite the both of them being the best of friends, when it came to their social circles, they didn’t belong to the same areas and even thought their interest were almost the opposite, they would always talk and support each other on everything.

“And then!” Taehyung almost screamed from the excitement of the conversation. “The little seagull just flew right from the under the barrel and next to the bigger ones and I was getting so soft but then the video stopped and it switched to that meme from Nemo where all the seagulls are saying fish!” “Fish fish fish fish fish!” Both boys started singing like it had happened in the movie. “Why did you stop?” Taehyung asked after a couple of ‘fish’ when he realized he was doing it alone. “Look, there’s Deo. Let’s go to her.” Jimin said cheerfully walking to the girl that was stuffing a book in her locker. “Good morning baby!” “Morning!” She said smiling widely, giving him a tight hug. “Oh… hi.” Deo added once she noticed Taehyung standing behind the other boy. “Hey!” He smiled awkwardly. “Oh c’mon guys, you already know each other, no need to be shy!” Jimin chuckled lightly, pushing his friends a bit closer together. “Hmm… sure! How’s everything going?” “Good!” Deo said almost immediately, as she turned again to her locker to grab her book. “Well, I gotta get to class. See you.” She said after slamming her locker door and throwing a death glare to Jimin, she left. “Ooooook! So are we seeing that movie tonight or what?” "That was weird... She looked weird don't you think?" Jimin basically spoke to himself. "But yes! We are! What movie?" He smiled sheepish lost in the conversation. “I don’t know, you are the friend not me.” Taehyung said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Bro! I told you about it five times already- the vintage one, noir.” "Ohh! That's right! Yeah, we can watch it tonight!" “Ok then, but don’t forget!” He said with warning eyes. “Gotta go, I’m probably late again.” “I’ll be there!” Jimin screamed and his friend was already walking so he decided to also go to his class. For the popular boy, he was suddenly left abandoned by his two best friends and one of them was clearly mad at him but to him it wasn’t that clear so he still had to do something about that.

Nearby, Hyori, Jungkook and Hoseok were sitting in the lounge. The morning sun was so pleasing that the latter made them sit outside to enjoy some vitamin C. This seemed like the perfect opportunity for Jungkook to vent his problems. He knew he could talk to his friends whenever, but sometimes they were too hyped to listen.

“I just don't understand the need for her to call me virgin boy. What's her deal after all? She doesn't even know me." Jungkook let out frustrated. The day hadn't even started and the words ‘virgin boy’ had already hunted him in the halls. "I don't know Gguk, maybe you just need to let it go. Focus on something else?" Hobi suggested. "She just started it out without no apparent reason?" Hyori finally said something. "Apparently. We have some classes together and I know she lives in my building but I don't remember any interaction we may had? She just started calling me like that after a class and when I noticed, it was running the college." He said in a pout. "Ok either you did something and you're just not remembering because boys never pay attention enough or she just likes to rile you up and it's working." Hyori added. “I don’t think I did?” Jungkook basically asked thinking of their interactions. “Maybe she has a crush?” Hoseok shrugged and Jungkook looked to Hyori. He needed her girl intuition. "That's an option yes! Who is she anyway?" Hyori asked already super curious. She loved and lived for a good gossip. "I don't know how to explain it to you. She has purple hair." Jungkook said like it was impossible for Hyori not to know who the girl was by that description. "Here, this is her social media." Hobi passed her the phone. "Really good description." He teased to Jungkook who huffed. 

"Ok… isn't this the girl that dates that trouble maker? The radio guy? She seems bad news" Hyori said as she scrolls down Carolina’s posts. "I know for a fact they are always on that radio booth together, only God knows doing what." "So what should I do? About the whole virgin boy thing..." "I don't know… tell her to stop?" "He already tried that and failed..." Hobi sighed. "Maybe you just have to do the same. If she starts teasing you, tease back?" "That's a good option… I mean the worst that can happen is her boyfriend beating you up but he's way smaller than you so you have a chance. Or she will beat you up… either way, someone needs to teach them a lesson, it was about time" the girl said.  "He wouldn't have a chance. He is way smaller than me." Jungkook said emphasizing in the smaller. "If she kicks my ass you and Deo have to step in, I can't hit a girl." Jungkook laughed. "Listen I would throw my chemistry books at her for you but if she runs for my head please do something! I'm not good at one on one and just by her face she seems like she would break my neck" “Guys! What violent nonsense is this?” Hoseok said getting up front his chair. “Off to class the both of you!” "Wha-" Jungkook started but was immediately cut off by Hobi again. "I'll see you at lunch!" "Let's go virgin boy! Can't arrive late and ruin my perfect academy life." Hyori said also getting up and let out a laugh once she heard Jungkook complain behind her.

As the group parted ways, Hyori walked in a fast pace to her class. She hated being late but the conversation with Jungkook and Hoseok took more of her time than she was expecting and she couldn’t afford to lose any word that left the teacher’s mouth. When she got to her biology class, there were only a couple of seats vacant and she took the one that were nearest to the teacher’s table. That way she could still record the class and take her notes. She was in the middle of a way too long sentence when someone tapped on her shoulder. When she turned around, she saw Jeonghan, a boy from her class she wished she knew a lot better but never had the guts to go and talk to him.

“Sorry, can I take a peek of your notebook? I can’t keep up the pace with her.” He smiled sheepishly. “Sure! Can you see like this?” She said turning her notebook a little to his side but at the same time trying to hide how red her cheeks already were. “Yeah, that’s perfect!” He smiled sweetly. The class continued but now Hyori was a little out of focus. She could still catch some words but the fact that Jeonghan was almost breathing down her neck was making her lose her senses and the only thing on her mind was the smell of his cologne. “Hey, it’s Hyori right?” He asked leaning against the table as Hyori was packing her stuff. "Yes! That's right!" "Thanks for the help during class! You were a great help really." He smiled as he scratched the back of his neck. "I was thinking, if you aren't too busy maybe we could study together or something? After class?" "Oh it was nothing!" She smiled nervously "Sure, that would be great! Just say where and when." "Can I have your number? I have practice after class but we can check our schedules and set a date?" He said already taking his phone out of his pocket. "Of course! I have some tutoring to do as well, but sure, we'll manage" She laughs and he hands her his phone where she types her number. "I already gave you a ring so you can have my number as well. I'll text you later Hyori!" He said grabbing his backpack and smiling widely to her, walking towards the door. “Bye!” Hyori called out and then she let out a long sigh she didn’t even realized she was holding. Boy, she was starstruck.

As Hyori left her class she immediately spotted Jungkook in the crowd and walked up to him. Hobi was probably already waiting for them in the cafeteria. It was pizza day. No one could push them away from there. But unlike them, there were another group that preferred to eat outside. Not because of the fresh air but because they enjoyed the quietness of the bleachers. It was unusual for people to have lunch there so they had maybe half an hour to eat in peace before the field would be filled with youngsters that wanted to lay down or play some ball.

“Hey losers!” Carolina said coming by alongside Yoongi. The boy had this tired look on his face like he had gone to bed too late, and he probably did. “Where were you this morning? I didn’t even see you” Jin - the oldest of the group and also Carolina's house mate - said. “I have class at eight remember? I don’t have your easy senior life” She replied sitting down next to Taehyung. He was currently sketching something on his journal, not really paying attention to the conversation. “After all this years i deserve a break don’t you think?” The oldest said chuckling. “Not really” “Well, talk in two years about that and you’ll see” “Where’s Namjoon?” Yoongi asked for the first time making everyone even Taehyung look around for their friend. “Is he sick or something?” Carolina asked. “I gave him a ride this morning...” Yoongi added. “He’ll probably show up in a few” Jin said returning his attention to the sandwich he was eating. “I saw him in the cafeteria earlier” Taehyung said still drawing “I think his class ends a little after ours” “Oh there he is!” Carolina pointed looking behind Jin. Namjoon had a fast pace and his hands were full with large books. And although he was a little clumsy, he was a true catch. “Guys!!!” He called out with his dimple smile “Did you heard it?!” “What? What happened this time?” Yoongi asked a little uninterested drinking his coffee. “Did you hear that rumor about JK being a virgin? Do you think it’s true? Like- he’s a nice kid but who is still a virgin in college?!” Namjoon said sitting down and almost falling down of the bleachers if it wasn’t for Jin holding him. “Really? I though he had a girlfriend or something... I think Jimin mentioned it once” Taehyung added to the conversation. “Ya, why do we even care? Let the kid be” Yoongi said taking a bite of Carolina’s sandwich. “What would Jimin know though?” Carolina said to Taehyung “And besides, he uses this purity ring on his finger all the time” “Like the Jonas brothers?” Jin asked incredulous. “Yep, he’s the fourth member for sure” “That was even a thing?” Namjoon asked a little lost. “And you seem to know a lot about the subject” Yoongi said with a smirk looking to Carolina “Odd” “I know because he has some classes with me that’s all” “Let’s ask him today on the way home!” Jin suggested “Maybe his father is a preacher” “No, his father is a designer, I know him” Taehyung said casually. “Oh” Namjoon let out like he was disappointed with the outcome. “Ok but guys-“ Carolina said cutting the subject “Can we discuss the fact that Jin was caught trying to wear my bra yesterday?!” “I SAID I WAS JUST DOING AN EXPERIMENT!!!” Seokjin bursted. “He was probably trying to open it with one hand only... you know, for practice” Yoongi said in a monotone. “Dude, you could have said that, I would help” Taehyung offered. “Wow” Carolina said. “That’s some... kinky shit right there” Namjoon pointed out eating his lunch.

The group can seem a little odd to the outside viewers but they all had a lot in common. Carolina and Taehyung had practically been raised together, their parents were friends for a lifetime and to top that they were neighbours. When she came to college though, her schedule didn’t match his, so she wandered around in some clubs trying to spend some time and also to try and find someone to share her apartment with. She would share it with Taehyung, but unfortunately to her he was already doing so with Park Jimin, his best friend. Already on her first week she got lucky to somehow end in a vintage game conference and ended up meeting Jin, a senior in the college who was desperate to get out of the campus dorm and that somehow knew Taehyung. She didn’t have to think much about it to rent her spare room to him, and yes, he was a guy, but her parents were pretty open minded and if he knew Taehyung... well that was a major plus. On her second week she met Namjoon, a nice and shy guy that was friends with Seokjin and usually would sit with them to grab some lunch. She only discovered he was the son of the dean a month later when her group ended up in a mess (a thing they would do a lot!). Yoongi was a different case... she met him because fate once more moved to her favor. In the building she lived, there were more apartments and one of them belonged to Namjoon, Yoongi and Jungkook (the virgin boy according to Carolina who may or may not have spread that rumor out). How she discovered that? Well, Jin asked Namjoon for a ride but turned out that Yoongi was the driver. He was a tough one to crack at first but once she discovered they had the same music taste, they became really close. She would mostly spend her days skipping classes at the radio station of the college, where Yoongi was the main dj. In college they would mainly hangout in the bleachers, because it was sunny and pretty far of the rest of the college population. If it was a cold or rainy day, well, they would go to the lounge area to chill and eat something. If it was after classes, always Jin and Carolina’s apartment since they tried it once at Yoongi’s (he isn’t much of going out of the house) but Carolina arrived and Jungkook was casually eating cereals in his pajamas and well, let’s just say she didn’t understood why he was there in the first place. Despite them being super tired already, the day continued on and they still had a couple of classes in the afternoon. The sun made them feel sleepy so when they had to get up to go to class, it seemed more like a herd of zombies walking down the halls. The boys had this protective habit of walking Carolina to her class and once she entered the door they would all disperse, going on with their lives.

Carolina had decided to take her usual trip to the broom closet. She gained this habit in her first week and it became more and more regular when some sketches started to appear on the walls and on the door. It intrigued her. As far as she knew, she was the only habitant of the broom closet in the arts department and those drawings felt like gifts and the smell of cigarettes made it more appealing each time. She was dying to find whom it could be. Unfortunately for her, she had to return to her class of photography. She wasn’t really excited today. What was the point of having a class like that and not photograph? She didn’t need to know how many pixels there were in how many centimeters so, inspired by the sketches in the broom closet, she scribbled on her own notebook. And everything was fine until she heard 'pop quiz next week' coming out from the teacher's mouth. Her mind began racing and she looked around to see from whom she could manage to get some info for the quiz. She really had no choice.

“Psstt, virgin boy!” Carolina called out to Jungkook. Despite unfamiliar, he was the more familiar face she had in that class. Once he turned around, she continued. “Can you borrow me your notebook real quick?” She whispered to him. “Why?” He asked, genuinely confused. They weren’t friends and for what he remembered not even once she was nice to him. “Dude, just help me out. I have zero things written down.” He looked at her not following why she would care and he was about to speak but shut his mouth. “Fine, but you owe me one.” He passed her his notebook that she grabbed firmly, not letting go of his gaze. “That’s not how it works virgin boy.” He couldn’t help but snort. He was so tired of the virgin boy rumor and he was 100% sure she was the one spreading it. He just didn’t know why. “Uhuh, just hurry up.” “If I want to.” Carolina teased harder. “So what? You’re keeping my notebook?” He arched his eyebrow, a smirk showing in his lips. “Why? Is there something here I can’t see?” She asked, interest and curiosity rising from what secrets she could find in his book. “Browse away, but if you just want to keep something mine, I can bring you a sweater. At least is comfier.” He teased. “Is that you flirting with me, virgin boy?” She pressed on his new nickname, making him snort once again. “You wish. Just hurry,” he turned back to the board. “or neither of us will pass the pop quiz next week. I need to write down what she’s saying.” “Here.” She said taking the last picture and handing him the notebook. “And hurry up writing it down cause I need the rest of it!” Once the class was over, Jungkook gathered his things and left. He had volleyball practice tonight so he wanted to go home and rest but as he was about to leave the main hall he heard someone call his name. “Hey, virgin boy! You forgot the rest of the notes.” Carolina said almost skipping to catch him. “Really? I think I got everything she said.” He played dumb. “No dumbass, you forgot to pass them on to me.” “Oh, I don’t think I did.” “But you did.” Carolina pushed back and he smirked. “Nope.” “Seriously, can you just stop this... thing and give me the notes? I really need them and you’re the most organized one so far” “Well maybe if you were nicer and stopped calling me virgin boy…” “Oh so it affects you that much huh?” She narrowed her eyes looking at him, trying to figure out if he was a virgin or not. "You are the one losing here sweetheart. Anyway, you still have a week." He turned around ready to leave but was stopped. “Woah!” Carolina held his arm. “First of all, you should work on that pet name thing virgin boy, ‘sweetheart’ is a major turn off... but anyways! Just-“ She let out a long sigh. “Borrow me your notes, I swear I’ll be quick” “Not today.” He got loose of her hold and started walking towards the exit. “Fine. Just know that I’m kinda resentful sometimes.”

As Jungkook walked off, Carolina was ready to punch someone into a locker but she knew there was no use in getting in trouble over him. Instead she was planning on wasting all her rage at the volleyball practice later on. The halls were all empty and Namjoon found himself wandering through the corridor he already knew like the back of his hand. He wasn’t in the mood for how the rest of his day was about to end but he also knew there was no use in postponing this any further, so he walked into the dean’s office – or better yet, his dad’s office. 

“Son, you’re lat- what clothes are those?” Dean Kim frowned immediately as soon as he saw the clothes his son was wearing. “My going out clothes? Why? There’s something wrong?” He asked looking at himself, from head to toe. “I told you this dinner was important, I needed you in more formal attires.” He said sternly. “I don’t have anything more formal than this dad… I’m just in college.” Namjoon sighed, trying to contain his temper from coming out. “And besides, nobody will even notice me, I’m sure!” He added trying to lighten the mood. “Either way, we don’t have time to change now. Your mother is coming too so we’ll have to go pick her up.” He said without even looking at his son, already picking up his briefcase. “Mom is coming? Why?” “Because it looks better in the pictures if she’s there.” He paused. “You already know these stuff.” “No, I don’t. I don’t know why you two have to keep pretending… Don’t you see it’s a burden for mom?” Namjoon said sadly. It hurt his heart to see his mom sad and for a lot of years, that was the only look he seen in her face. “I don’t think this matter really concerns you.” He said in a cold tone. “Yes it does dad. God!” Namjoon let out frustrated, sitting down on one of the puffy chairs. “I’m your son and I have to see this act go on and how it hurts all of us… This is not right. Can’t we just- I don’t know… Let’s just go the two of us.” “I already said. This is not up for discussion. Since when do you stand up to my word? Those friends of yours…” The dean basically spat. He didn’t approve of his son’s friends ever since the first time they all came into his office for a prank they pulled and the hole cafeteria had to be evacuated. “This has nothing to do with my friends. I stand up for what is right and you would know that if you paid more attention to the real me, not the perfect son you created in your mind.” “Why can’t you just have a good record, study hard so that you have a bright future?! I just want what is best for you. One day you’ll realize that.” “And I do that. I study hard, I have great grades. The only thing lacking for you is appearances.” Namjoon spat, hurt by his father’s words. “You could dress better. You look like a delinquent in those baggy clothes. I’ll ask your mother to take you out shopping soon. Now we have to go.” “Sure thing… dad.” Namjoon said in a quitting tone, following his father to the car.

He just wanted this night to end but it hadn’t even started. Ever since he was little, he doesn’t remember a moment where his mother was truly happy with his father. Since early, she decided it would be best to be a stay-at-home mom and take care of Namjoon and his little sister. Mr. Kim was making more than enough money being an university dean to take care of the whole family so why work? But that made Namjoon's mom become more and more unhappy and she didn’t have the strength to get away from the depending relationship she had with her husband. When she finally managed to find herself a job and ask for divorce, Mr. Kim found a way to continue controlling her. After all, what kind of strong and powerful family is one that isn’t able to hold a marriage? Namjoon just wanted to see his mom happy but it was still far from being capable of such things.

As Namjoon's continued to go disastrously, Jungkook and Carolina were already at their volleyball practice and coach decided it would be a good idea to mix the teams up. Boys and girls all against each other. Unfortunately, Jungkook wasn’t lucky enough to be put in the same team as Carolina and she had a lot of anger inside that she needed to let out and what better way than smashing some balls? Coach even said he wished she could play with the boy’s team this Saturday due to how roughly and determinedly she was playing. That was until she finally managed to throw a ball directly into Jungkook's face, that made him go straight to the floor with a bloody nose. He didn’t thought he could have such an impact on the girl. It were just some stupid notes... how would she react like if she was dumped? He thought that to himself and decided it was better to do some peace offerings after practice. So when the time came to hit the lockers, he got ready as fast as he could and waited for her to get out. In all ways, he found the situation funny that she could be so uptight.

"So I guess practice wasn't good enough to unload your rage?" Jungkook asked with a grin on his face, grabbing Carolina's arm since she decided to pretend he didn't exist. “Better take your hands off if you don’t wanna see what’s left of that rage” "Oh c'mon are you seriously mad because I didn't give you my notes?" He almost snorted. "Yes I am” She said serious. "I can give them to you if it would stop your hulk mode." “No need” "I see you also have a big pride" He teased harder. “No I just have an intolerance to bitchy people. Now if you’ll excuse me” She said, starting to walk away. "I don't actually." He grabbed her arm once more, making her spin back to him. "I'm the bitchy one? Really?" "What do you even want, virgin boy? Tell me cause I’m kinda losing my patience here” Carolina said. She was close to losing her temper and even closer at punching him in the face. "You are the one acting like a child and you have the guts to say I'm bitchy. You need to swallow that temper of yours. If you want the notes just tell me instead of this." Jungkook said, done with her way of talking, making her laugh acidly. "Listen, sweetheart, i asked you once maybe twice for the notes, i won’t ask for them again. And the one being childish is clearly you. You came to offer your notes, I said no, but for some reason you don’t let me go” She never once lost eye contact, done with his behavior. “I call that childish behaviour. Either you state what you want or leave me be” "Fine." Jungkook snorts and leaves.

Jungkook was pissed off so as soon as he got home, he got inside his room and decided it was best to just sleep. On the other hand, on campus, Hyori was trying hard to study for one of her upcoming exams but her phone and a boy was keeping her unfocused.  Deo was on her bed, trying to read a book she had just bought but the constant beeping was making her stress and although she didn’t want to pry, she couldn’t stop herself from asking.

“Why is your phone always beeping?” Deo asked. Hyori’s phone had been beeping for the past half hour nonstop and it wasn’t the usual routine the girl would do when she studied. “Oh!” She says turning around to face her roommate, a blush already creeping in her cheeks. “It’s just this boy from my bio class.” “A boy?” Deo asked putting down her book and crossing her legs in the bed, paying full attention to the conversation now. “It’s no big deal so don’t make a big deal out of it! But yes, he’s cute and his name is Jeonghan.” “How can I not make a big deal out of this when you say he’s cute and you’re putting your studies on pause to answer him?” Deo said overly excited. “What are you talking about?” “Seriously, it’s no big deal. He’s just super friendly that’s all.” Hyori let’s out a laugh, a nervous one. “If somehow it happens to be something more, I will let you know, don’t worry.” “Do you have a date yet?” The smaller girl wiggled her eyebrows teasingly making Hyori roll her eyes but laugh right after. “What’s up with you though? I could see you furrowing your brows and thinking hard on your bed.” She said more serious now. “It’s just this book… so intriguing.” “I’m sure it is…” Hyori said eyeing the girl to see if she could figure her out. “You know what’s funny? I have like a million texts of Jimin asking me why you won’t talk to him.” “He is such an annoying ass.” Deo whispered more to herself. “You know his friend, Taehyung?” “The artsy one?” Hyori asked raising her eyebrow. “Yeah, the one with blue hair. You know I can’t stand him and today Jimin just came to me with him like ‘oh hey guys you are best friends!’ No we’re not!!” Deo let out a long and hard sigh. “It pisses me off. He already knows I don’t like him but he keeps pushing.” “And why is that exactly? That you don’t like him?” "I can't believe you're going to analyze me now... I think you should drop out of psychology” Deo said trying to ease the mood but Hyori’s face stayed still. “Well, first of all, he's a weirdo. Just the other day he came to Jimin saying that the light bill was getting too high that he needed to watch out for the lights he forgot to turn off. Bro, we live in the dorms!" She rolled her eyes, annoyed of thinking back to that moment. "And the real reason I think it is because I'm jealous?" “Jealous of Jimin or… Taehyung?” Hyori asked in a suggesting tone and made Deo snort. “Why would I be jealous of Taehyung?!” She asked confused. “Of Taehyung… for no big deal. Now, of Jimin… well, the way I see it, maybe you’re having a moment of ‘why this loopy head guy is messing with my emotional’?” “I don’t see it… I just don’t understand why Jimin likes him so much. I mean, I’m his best friend too! I should be enough… I know it’s not fair.” “Yes, he’s a little- how can I say… weird? Out of the box? Anyways, he can be that but he is kinda funny in his own way… And Jimin speaks highly of him, he’s always saying he’s a great friend and moral support, so even if you don’t like the dude, just maybe tolerate him for Jimin? You know you love Jimin.” “I smiled at the dude today!” Deo said in defeat. “I won’t be disrespectful towards him because that wasn’t how I was raised but I can’t stand his face.” “That’s either called love or pure ‘I want to have sex with you’ you know?” Hyori said with a big smirk in her face. “How- I don- Ok you know what! Just go back to studying and texting the cute boy.” Deo said sticking her tongue out to her and picking back her book. “Ok scratch that, it’s more ‘I madly want to have sex with him’” She laughs lightly. “But hey, I’m not judging! The dude is weird but is super handsome!” “I DON’T WANT TO!” Deo protested, throwing a pillow at the other girl’s head. "And you know what? The girls I'm tutoring said pretty good stuff about him too… his hands are THAT big for a reason" Hyori continued teasing. “DUDE!” Deo hid her face in one of her pillows, flustered. “Do you think he’s good at it though? Because he has the fame but you never know.” “Oh I’m pretty sure he knows what he’s doing.” “I think you are the one who has a crush huh? Loopy is your type then?” “Loopy is super handsome yes, but I’m more of a smartass kind of girl.” Hyori said, slowly in the last part, thinking of what her type would be. “Loopy is more your type really.” “Just… don’t ok! And don’t give Jimin any ideas. And stop having ideas too!” “Will you start talking to Jimin again?” “Yes… you know I can’t stay mad for long.” “Then it’s a secret.” She winked and laughed hard right after because Deo pretended to throw her book to her head like she did with the pillow.

But that talk really made Deo think. It wouldn’t be fair for Jimin to wait until the next morning for them to talk again and it shouldn’t be something done by the phone either. So she decided to drop by their dorms. Hoseok was the hall security so that wouldn’t be a problem for her to reach their door. She put on some sweat pants and went out with her pj shirt. Who cared? She knocked on their door and soon it opened. It was Jimin.

“Hey, sorry to drop by this late…” Deo started and Jimin immediately involved her in a big hug. “I should be the one giving the hug you know.” She chuckled. “Why were you mad at me today?” Jimin asked with a pout. “Can you…” she pointed at the door signaling him to close it and he did so. “I just- I’m sorry. I was being childish just because I’m jealous of all the attention you give Taehyung. I promise I’ll work harder to be nice to your friend.” “You could’ve just stopped at the sorry but I’ll make you keep the last part!” He gave her a big smile when she rolled her eyes. “You are an ass.” She said trying to maintain a straight face but failed miserably. “Do you wanna come in? We were just watching a movie!” Jimin said already opening the door and turning to Taehyung. Somehow they managed to hang an old projector in one of the walls over the bed and were watching the movie like they were in the cinema. They had popcorn and everything. “Oh no! I look like shit! These are my pjs!” “Hey Taetae, look! Deo is here!” “Hey there!” Taehyung gives a little wave with his hand. “Bro can I press play already? I hate to pause it in the middle of an important dialogue.” He looked frustrated to Jimin. “Sorry!” He turned to Deo once more. “Do you wanna watch the move with us?” “Oh I don-“ “Effort remember?” Jimin almost whispered to her. “Sure. Do you mind?” Deo asked now to Taehyung. “It’s ok, but please don’t make me back up to the beginning of the movie.” “I won’t!” She said almost rising her hands up. “I’m clicking play already! Shut the lights Jimin!” Taehyung said turning his attention to the screen. “Go sit!” Jimin ordered Deo, pointing to the bed but she stood still. She didn’t want to have to sit in the middle of the boys. “C’mon!!” “Popcorn?” Taehyung asked, pushing the bowl towards her. All she could think about was that silly conversation she had with Hyori about his hand and she found herself blushing from the thoughts that crossed her mind with the boy right next to her. “No, I’m good…. But thanks.” As someone who didn’t care much about hands and their beauty, she had to admit, his hands were just something. “I want!” Jimin said breaking the imaginary tension and shoving his hand down the bowl and taking a hand full straight to his mouth. For the rest of the movie, Taehyung kept on making comments about the hole aesthetic of the movie while the other two remained in silence, watching. Once it ended, they decided they would enjoy the final credits and the music that came in, Jimin already had his head on Deo's lap and was close to falling asleep because she had been playing with his hair for the longest time. "See? This is the kind of movies that make me regret chosing performative arts." Deo said after a big sigh, with a frown in her face. “Why?” Taehyung turned his body so that he was facing her directly. "Oh well... there's a lot of things I like to do and it gets hard to having to choose only one to do. It's like choosing between kids you know? I like photography, but I also like dancing and singing and I also really like movies so how am I suppose to pick one?" “It’s not that hard if you are open minded enough to be a lot of people at the same time. I don’t think I want to do just one thing for the rest of my life...” "I don't think that either but I meant more like in learning. These majors are too expensive for me to take every single one I like." “Hm.. you just have to choose the one you identify yourself most, not thinking you will be giving up the others. That’s what I think” Taehyung said after a long time of looking at the ceiling, thinking. "That's a good way of thinking" “Why are you so quiet?” Taehyung asked curious to Jimin. It wasn't much like him to be quiet. "Oh no reason! I was just thinking along with your conversation! When I was little I used to get picked on a lot by my family because I liked to dance but I also like football so anything is possible. I'm having the best of both worlds." He chuckles. “Yeah, I remember” Taehyung laughs along with him, thinking about those moments from their childhood. "So yeah, anything is possible" Jimin said getting up from Deo's lap just to pinch her nose right after. "As long as you work hard for it!" "That's also a good way of thinking. Never knew you could be that wise Jimin." Deo said teasingly. "But anyway, it's getting late so I should get going." “Working hard remembers me of the review I have to write due tomorrow” Taehyung sighed, making the others laugh. “There’s never a chill out moment without paperworks to do after” "Do you need me to walk you to your dorm?" Jimin asked to Deo. He didn't like it when she would wander around campus late at night. "Oh no! Thanks for the popcorns" She said to Taehyung as she got out of the bed. "Sure, anytime!" Taehyung showed off his boxy smile. "See you tomorrow babe." Deo put herself on her tiptoes and gave Jimin a tight hug, walking to the door right after.

 > Day 2 <

#bts fic #bts college au #bts university au #bts moodboard #bts writing #jungkook college au #jungkook smut #jungkook social media au #jimin college au #jimin smut #jimin social media au #taehyung college au #taehyung smut #taehyung social media au #namjoon college au #namjoon smut #namjoon social media au #yoongi college au #yoongi smut #yoongi social media au #hoseok college au #hoseok smut #hoseok social media au #jin college au #jin smut #jin social media au #bts imagines #ot7 college au #bts ot7 #bts social media au

[rabba002-blog]

The Highs and Lows of Social Media

New technology, communications and social media have taken over the newest generations by storm. The “digital age” emerging from the late 1970’s after the invention of the first personal computers have changed the way society will function forever. Now, with the click of a button you have your entire social circle at your fingertips through imessage, social media, and search engines; everyone is connected all the time. Social media has by far had the biggest impact on today's society; especially on the younger generations. Kids are now looking to Twitter and Facebook not only for the hottest trends in fashion and hollywood, but for insights  on politics and world views. Through social media, young people are building their ideologies and beliefs about the world, politics, relationships, body image and social standing. Although being connected and having accessibility to such a wide variety of opinions and ideas all the time can be seen as freeing and invigorating, it has had a detrimental effect on the mental health and thinking of the new generation. Social media has its positive attributes, but can also be extremely negative; which has been proven through research and examination of social constructs.

Firstly, the positives of social media should be highlighted. Social media has created a space for the new generation to voice their opinions, make changes and speak on social constructs. It is also used constantly as a creative outlet all while keeping our society connected. Youtube, for example, has blown up immensely since its start in 2005. Creators have built lives out of their Youtube channels and their creative outlets have become their careers. However, Youtube has become a huge space for political activism, issues about bullying and self image; overall a place for people to go and  realize they are not alone. Youtube has content for any individual, whether it be gaming videos, cooking channels, comedy, makeup and fashion or lifestyle. The culture of looking into someone’s life and building a connection with them through a screen has become huge in the past ten years; arguably becoming one of the most important platforms created. The most positive impact Youtube has had on our generation is educational. The amount of educational videos on Youtube is astonishing, and not only is it used by students worldwide but professors have turned to educational Youtube videos to teach their students much more increasingly. The freedom social media has given the new generation is highlighted by Croteau and Haynes. They state “the fact that the internet encompasses nearly all forms of communication is a big part of what made it a game-changer…… in addition to blurring boundaries between private and public, the internet enabled people to be more active, more easily, than ever before” (Croteau and Haynes). This freedom is proven by the theory that we are not only consumers of social media but users of it, and that the user has control over what he/she sees and puts out. Twitter, for example is one of the most popular social media sites as of now. It is a place where you have the freedom make raunchy jokes, cry-laugh with your friends about memes, catch up on which Kardashian did what,  to rant out that one crappy customer that came into work or to speak out about political issues like “black lives matter” and body shaming. Twitter gives its users the freedom to use their platform as an outlet, and that is something that is very important to our generation. It gives the user the feeling of “what I have to say matters”. These are a few examples of how social media can be seen as having a positive impact on today’s society.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, social media has had massively negative effects on society and the younger generation. Social media, although it can be freeing, also causes mass amounts of pressure on the younger generation. To focus on women in specific, social media can make you feel ashamed of your own body and the attributes you have been given. The rise of the “instagram baddie” persona has taken over social media over the past two years. Girls feel as though they must all have a tiny waist, huge boobs and a huge butt in order to fit into what is considered ideal for today’s beauty standards.  Girls are praised and shown off for looking and acting a certain way, and if you do not fit into that box then you’re not considered in. The most prominent example I have noticed on twitter recently is “makeup vs no makeup twitter”. Girls who opt for the more natural look continuously bash girls who prefer to wear a lot of makeup. This creates a toxic environment, as women bash each other when, in this day and age where men reign supreme, should be supporting each other. This toxic environment has shown an increase in suicide rates as the Centers for Disease Control and prevention reports “suicide has become the third leading cause of death for teens and more than 4,600 young people are lost each year” (The Press Enterprise). Not only has social media had a negative impact on teens body image, but on their way of thinking. Our generation has become desensitized to the way they speak to each other, because at the end of the day were all just hiding behind a screen and there are no real consequences to what you say or post. A prime example of this can be shown by the amount of celebrities that go off the handle because of the amount of hate they receive from the public. Most recently, singer Mac Miller died, and Ariana Grande has been continuously receiving backlash for his overdose as people blame her for his drug use and call her an “attention whore” and other vulgar names causing her to take a hiatus for two months. This stigma that our generation has that they can say anything to anyone they want, no matter how hurtful because there are no consequences shows the toxicity social media has had on our generations thinking. Lastly, as highlighted by Baran culture can be limiting, because you grow up surrounded by generally the same characters and beliefs throughout your whole life. Baran states “think back, to the stories you were told and the television shows and movies you watched growing up. The heroines were invariably tall, beautiful and thin. The bad guys were usually mean and fat” (Baran). From the time that we are toddlers are minds are shaped to believe that we must look one way in order to be accepted by society, and if you fail to look that way then you’ll always just feel a little bit out of place. This ties in even more now that social media is so relevant to our day to day lives. Our generation looks up to the superficial standards set by reality tv stars and rappers as an expectation to what our lives should look like, inevitably causing mass disappointment and self-hatred because realistically, we’re not all going to have enough money to get plastic surgery in order to look like our favorite “instagram baddie” or have the money to ride around in a 100,000 car. Social media has created a false sense of expectations for our generation to follow, which leads to a general unhappiness in the reality of our lives and the cards we have been dealt.

In summary, social media has taken over the new generation and shaped their ideas about politics, beauty standards and social standing. It is ridiculous to overlook the positive impact social media has had by giving us the abilities to speak our minds whenever, wherever. But this accessibility has also proven to have a negative impact on the general well being and mental health of the new generation.

Cited Sources:

Whiting, David, and David Whiting. “New Pressures for Perfection Contribute to Rise in Teen Suicide.” Press Enterprise, Press Enterprise, 20 Mar. 2018, www.pe.com/2018/03/17/new-pressures-for-perfection-contribute-to-rise-in-teen-suicide/.

Croteau, David, and William Hoynes. Media/Society: Technology, Industries, Content, and Users. SAGE Publications, Inc., 2019.

Baran, Stanley J. Introduction to Mass Communication: Media Literacy and Culture, Updated Edition. McGraw-Hill Education, 2015.

[huffletiika]

About late studying sessions and presumably haunted corridors.

Ok, peeps, I have decided to take part of this year’s Lutteo ficweek… even if I have no time, or whatsoever. I might skip some days, tho, as there are some prompts that didn’t inspired me #tja. Anyway, I hope you like this one.

Anyway, just some info before you start reading: this OS is at the same universe as my Gastina multi-chapter “Hello, stranger.” So, if anyone is interested on reading it before (or after) getting into this, I will leave you the link RIGHT HERE. But, don’t worry, there’s no need to read it to understand the OS, as this is a prequel that takes place way before the events of my multi-chapter. However, there might be a little wink for those who read it.  

Words count: 2.4K.

DAY 1 – “it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost”.

Finals are going to be the death of her.

Seriously, it’s like no matter how much she tries to keep her studying schedule going, she will just not gonna make it, not even with the very well done graphics an diagrams her best friend made for her. Days doesn’t have enough hours for her to have enough time to learn all she has for her exams, and at the same time training for the skating competition, and going to all those social events her grandfather told her she must go in order to keep the Benson’s inversions safe and sound.

She can’t wait for summer vacations.

The next day (correction, that day, as it’s already three in the morning) she has one of the most important exams for her career, and she really need a high grade on this one in order to pass.

She tried studying in her dormitory, she really did, but she gave up at 10pm as the girls from the dormitory next to hers and Nina’s had decided to throw a party for the end of the semester, and the music was so loud she thought the walls would break at any moment. So, she had to walk all her way to the library in order to find a quiet place, internally grateful for living in a dorm inside the campus. Her parents would kill her if they find out about her having to walk down the street in the middle of the night.

Since the finals started, the library has remained 24hrs open as an incentive for students to use it to prepare for their exams instead of the many outdoor places on campus, as the benches outside the buildings, or the dark gardens. It might sound crazy, but just a week ago they found a student sleeping in a picnic mat outside the engineering faculty, hugging his advanced calculus book, mumbling something about going late for his exam while on his sleep. There were memes with his picture all over the campus app, it got viral.

The library has become the second home for many.

Surprisingly, that day the library doesn’t seem to be as popular. Well, there were many students when she arrived but, as midnight arrived, she noticed she was the only one at that specific section, and that the rest of them were practically empty. That’s just so great. She tried to focus on the words from her text book, on solving the problems, on getting all that info into her head, but as it started getting later her eyes started to burn, and the words became blurry, so she finally realized that what she didn’t learn in the whole semester, she wouldn’t learn in those five hours she had left before having to go comply her death sentence. Come what may, her father is always telling her, and she believes him.

She is so gonna fail.

When she stands to leave the study cubicle she notices it’s darker than she expected. There are some light spots, of course, but many of these seem to have gotten damaged. She walks toward the shelves to put the books back at the place they belong, and as she gets deeper at those dark aisles, she starts to have the feeling that she is not alone.

She looks around, but there’s nothing either on her left or her right, and she tells herself that it’s just her head playing games. She has never believed in ghosts, even after her biological parents appeared in her dreams, and she wouldn’t start doing so now.

She leaves the last book at the right shelf, having to get on her tiptoes for that hard mission, and then sighs looking at the time on her phone’s screen. If she leaves now she will be at home at 3:40, and so she would have a couple of hours to sleep. A sound coming from her left calls her attention, putting her on alert. But there’s nothing. There’s no such thing as ghosts, she reminds herself, you are just tired from studying, and it’s all in your head.  But there were stories, many indeed, of a student that died in the library years ago, crushed by a shelf that fell on her as she tried to reach a book that was on the top, and other who took his life on the 90s after losing all his finals.

Those are just stories, she reminds herself as she tries to breathe in and breathe out to calm herself, and get her backpack from the floor, but as soon as she gets up she finds someone standing right in front of her.

She screams.

Someone from the distance shushes.

Throwing her backpack at the mysterious figure she tries to run away, but it grabs her wrist, and she is not able to get away from its grip no matter how hard she tries.  

Her heart is racing inside her chest, she is scared, much more than after waking up from one of those terrible nightmares about the fire where her biological parents died. Her mind isn’t thinking in other thing than running away, than getting into her room and hiding under her blankets, maybe hugging the very cute teddy bear her grandpa gave her when they found out she was the granddaughter he thought he had lost years ago.

“Calm down, Chica Delivery. It’s me,” a male voice she knows pretty well gets into her ears, calming her down, throwing all fear away from her body. She looks back at him, stopping her intends to scape, and as soon as their eyes meet, she manages to let go of his grip with a swipe.

“Are you crazy, Matteo?! You scared me to death!” she claims, wishing to have something to throw at his stupid face when she sees him grinning. He’s just- Ugh! She can’t stand him, or his stupid smile, or his perfect eyes, or that hair of him where she wants to dig her hands in, and…

Enough.

“Ouch, I didn’t know I was that ugly,” he teases, and then bends down to pick up the backpack, and then offers it back to her. “Let’s make it a tie. I mean, you almost killed me with this,” he adds, as she gets her belongings back.

“I didn’t meant to… it was your fault for scaring me,” she fires back.

“Oh right, keep blaming me,” he rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. Oh shit, she thinks, he’s wearing one of those stupid vests that look way too good on him. Her sanity decides to submit her resignation, there’s no way she could handle him. “What are you doing here at these hours, anyway?” he asks. “I thought your roommate was the kind of person who would be okay with you studying in your room no matter what time.” She has to look away when he carelessly supports his side on the shelf.

How does he always looks so good?

“She is,” she defends her, frowning at him. Nina is one of the few people she has met in Buenos Aires that she can confidently call a true friend. “But our neighbors finished their finals today, and threw a party to celebrate,” she explains, with a shrug.

He puts a grimace.

“Whoa, that sucks,” he says, and for once he agrees with him.

“Tell me about it!” she replies, and another shush comes from an undetermined place in the library. She lowers her voice. “And you? What are you doing here at this hour? I thought you had a fancy flat with enough space to study, even if you have the loudest roommate, which you don’t,” she asks, and his stupidly attractive grin gets wider.

“Can I ask how you know that?” he rises his eyebrows, and she swears under her breath. She can’t tell him that her roommate has a crush on his roommate, that’s practically breaking all the rules of friendship.

She goes for a better excuse.

“You seem to forget that your ex-girlfriend is my cousin.”

“And it seems like you have paid too much attention to what she says about me,” he fires back with a cocky smile. His fresa attitude drives her insane. “But, don’t worry, it’s normal to want to know more about me, you are not the only girl who does that at the campus.” She rolls her eyes.

“Whoa, Chico Fresa, I thought your ego couldn’t grow bigger,” she replies, sarcastically. Then reminds him:  “You still haven’t answered my question.” He shrugs.

“This is just a really nice puns-free environment to study,” he briefly answers, looking away as if something has ashamed him. How come? She frowns, and he changes his attitude in a click. “Anyway, are you going back at your dorm now? I can give you a ride.” She’s about to reject his offer, but he interrupts her. “I know you live inside the campus, but it’s still dangerous to walk there alone at this hour, so please let me take you there.” How could she refuse his offer after those words? She ends up accepting.

----

His car seat is the most comfortable thing she has ever sit on, she thinks, as she closes her eyes and lets the sound of the engine, and the delicious smell of his cologne (the one that seems to dominate the place) lull her, to the point of even falling asleep for a few seconds.

She hears him chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” she asks, her eyes still closed.

“Nothing,” his response comes quickly, but then it seems like he gives up. “It’s just… you almost look inoffensive right now.” She sticks her tongue out at him, and he giggles.

Then they stay silent for a couple of minutes, in whose she nervously drums with her fingers.

“So, I went to the Jam & Roller last night and saw the Roller Band playing,” he casually says, as if taking those words out of his mouth wouldn’t have cost all of his courage. “Your boyfriend and his bandmates are really good,” he adds, as he parks in front of her building.

“Yeah, they ar… wait, boyfriend?” She looks at him, confused.

“Yes, the guitarist is your boyfriend. Isn’t him?” he frowns.

He saw them being very affectionate with each other some weeks ago, at the skating rink, and that restrained his attempts to get closer to her, to let her know how much he likes her. Gastón wouldn’t leave him alone since then, of course, bugging him about how an idiot he was for letting those assumptions stop him from getting the girl, as if he wasn’t MATTEO BALSANO, the king of the rink, the one who always gets everything he wants, and throwing bad puns and references about Luna at any given opportunity.

“No, we are not,” she replies. “He’s my best friend, I know him since I lived in Cancun, why would you think we are dating?” She asks, and he glances away, looking kind of ashamed.

“I just supposed it as you seem to be so close,” he answers, with a shrug. Internally, he is dancing la Macarena, and opening a bottle of tequila. He might indeed do that as soon as he gets to his flat.

Luna and Simon aren’t a couple.

He has a chance.

He needs to make a plan, and fast, step up his game and get a date before she leaves the car. He isn’t going to miss any more time, not after the disaster the past month has been.

“But I guess I was wrong,” he adds, turning off the engine of the car. She makes an overacted face of surprise, and takes her hand to his forehead, as she’s testing if he has fever.

“Are you ok, Chico Fresa?” she asks, her really bad acting making him smile. “You just admitted you were wrong about something, so this is either you dying from some sickness or a miracle,” she teases, and he cackles.

“Ha-ha, Very funny, Chica Delivery,” he takes her hand out of his forehead, even if he would have wanted it to stay there for a little longer. He casually forgets to release it, tho. “Then, if he is not your boyfriend, I guess there wouldn’t be a problem if I invite you out for a milkshake one of these days… like, for example, tonight?” he suggests, knowing he’s risking a lot with this proposal. He slowly releases her hand. After her response he will have either a date with the girl he fancies since they met, or the biggest rejection of his whole life. The only one that would have mattered. “I mean, I owe you that for scaring you today.” Yes, he thought, make it sound as casual as possible.

She frowns.

“I thought we were even after I almost killed you with my backpack,” she replies, and he’s almost sure she will say no, he could feel it in his bones, or maybe those were just his insecurities kicking in. Since he met her, he knows how it feels to be afraid of not being enough for someone, of being rejected. She takes what seems like an eternity to consider his offer. “But, who am I to refuse such an invitation?” He felt his own smile growing on his face, as the cloud of doubt fades away. “Tonight is perfect, I will need lots of sweet after failing my exam,” she confesses.

“You won’t fail it, Chica Delivery. Stop being so negative,” he tries to cheer her up, bopping on her nose, making her wrinkle it. “I’ll pick you up around seven, is it okay for you?” he asks, and she nods with a bright smile.

“It’s a dat…” she interrupts herself, getting as red as a tomato. “I mean, it’s a… a deal,” she stutters and then bites her lower lip. He laughs and nods, but in his mind he is the one doing it.

“It’s a deal,” he agrees, and then both of them say goodbye. He might have intentionally missed her cheek while kissing her goodbye, touching the corner of her lips instead.

“Hey,” she tells him, putting half of her body through the window after closing the door, as her height wouldn’t help her much. “Send me a message when you get home, ok?” she asks him, and he couldn’t help but smile back at her and nod. If he wasn’t before, now he is sure that he is deeply in love with her.

 You (sent 3:40am)

I’m home, Chica Delivery.

ChicaDelivery (sent 9:31am)

I’m so sorry, I fell asleep.

And I’m running late for my final!

Thanks for not forgetting about the message.

See you tonight?

You (sent 9:38am)

It’s ok. I hope you get there on time.

And I’m glad you didn’t forget about our deal.

See you tonight, Chica Delivery ;)!

#Soy Luna #lutteoficweek #lutteo #lutteo fanfic #Luna Valente #Matteo Balsano #Soy Luna Fanfic #Written by me #UniversityAU

[allbeendonebefore]

An Incomplete List of Hapo’s Vic Picks

I took some books out of the library over the summer to read up and supplement my Victoria Knowledge (tm) while i was here working here - now that I’m leaving the island again I’ve begun to compile them for your viewing pleasure.

Here in no particular order are my vic headcanons for @orcanadian to do with as she pleases xD I provide no citations but can clarify which things come from books and which things come from experience etc etc. Again the bias here is I pick things that are interesting/funny to me and things which I believe fit with her character as has been presented. Also remember that my default for comparison tends to be Ed first, Cal second, and then my impressions of other cities.

CHILDHOOD STUFF

- the number one thing that sticks out to me after reading edmonton/calgary history is how absurdly aristocratic Victoria is. In a north american sense she’s outrageously sure of herself and confident in her supposed god-given blessings and natural talents and has been so since she was young - in a european sense she’s ridiculously quaint in a kind of muddy, low class way. 

- so on the one hand while she is a Lady (tm) and will only settle for the best things, she’s also the sort of kid who will appall her guardians by digging in the dirt and doing the gardening Herself. 

- I get the feeling that despite beginning as an HBC fort (read: HBC retirement home), HBC had less the interior/mainland understanding (”here before christ”) and a little more of the American understanding (”hated british company”). Not that she would Ever stoop to allowing herself to be called an American, and it took her a Very long time to warm up to the idea of being called a Canadian as the people she met from Ontario and Nova Scotia during the gold rushes didn’t quite suit her idea of decent companions. Islander first, through and through.

- as a kid she spent so much time trying to help create a place she hadn’t really any actual concept of and for the longest time was heavily resistant to anything that didn’t fit her vision. Now as an adult, while the remnants of that particular brand of colonialism and imported class divides are still present, she’s making a very particular effort to present herself as an international and conscious person. (She’s not, exactly, and is still very Basic White Girl (tm) in a lot of things, but she really is trying, especially where indigenous relationships are concerned) 

RELATIONSHIPS

- her relationship with the rest of the island and the mainland as a kid was nothing short of princess to peasant. Her attitude pushed New Westminster (Vancouver’s predecessor) to become adamantly pro-US annexation first and then adamantly pro-Confederation second only a little spitefully, and Victoria’s dependence on Nanaimo’s coal ended up radicalizing the workers. After the turn of the century, she seems to have settled down and mellowed in her relationships, more or less happy with her hold on the political reigns of the province.

- While her relationship with Van Man had quite a rough start, she’s sort of come to accept their respective roles. In the beginning she seemed to be more pissed that he had taken the name of *her* island than she was annoyed by his economic dominance of the province, and her prior relationship with New Westminister seems to have briefly been directed at Vancouver, reaching peak intensity when Canada revealed that maybe building a railway across the Georgia Strait to the island wasn’t feasible after all. 

- Upon acquiring the capital status, Vic started to settle into the idea that /maybe/ they were finally being treated *fairly* and while Van Man wasn’t her *equal* so to speak he could at least learn a thing or two from her guidance. Van Man just accepts this because he knows he can physically lift her, tuck her in, and lock her in her house if she gets sick. 

- Will not let you forget that she is /technically/ the oldest city in Western Canada. Absolutely acts like it and is always ready to dispense Wisdom (tm) even if she doesn’t actually have the experience or knowledge to back it up.

- Despite being closer to the Edge of all things, she’s not a particularly outward looking person even when she pretends to be. Most of her contact with the outside world is actually through Vancouver or through gossip, she remains quite isolated and she’s quite alright with that. Also had more of a historical aversion to Seattle/California than perhaps Vancouver did (since she viewed Washington, Oregon etc. as belonging to her and because she wasn’t particularly fond of all the sketchy flannel-wearing Californians turning up in the mid 19th century rushes) 

- Victoria is actually a committee of 17 separate municipalities, 4 of which are perhaps particularly important to take note of. The ‘four towns in a city’s trench coat’ are as follows:

- VICTORIA: the vic chick herself, seat of power in the province, the mastermind of Vancouver Island, and the hip and trendy downtown.

- OAK BAY: the heart of old British culture and class divides, highly resistant to development of any sort, and self proclaimed “original” hollywood north, Oak Bay is a state of mind more than a place who’s gender is tweed and mostly goes downtown for the Irish Linen store.

- ESQUIMALT: was going to be Victoria’s original location but had crap farmland and no fresh water, so became the military and naval base instead. Vic had a romanticized view of a sailor who would come and sweep her away from the island in her youth but...

- SAANICH: i suppose the chill and friendly popular neighbour of the four and perhaps the most tenuous sense of identity, but loves hiking and stargazing and being outside in general. Shares the university and a local cryptid with Oak Bay.

- Quebec City is kind of her secret senpai - she essentially demanded the CPR build her a hotel on par with Chateau Frontenac (which they did, begrudgingly) and she’s the only one so far this side of Canada to be able to enjoy a tin of Samuel’s chocolate fondue with her fresh garden produce.

- Cal is a CONSTANT visitor to the island to the point that it’s even more common to see Calgary Flames or Stamps junk than it is to see Vancouver or Seattle teams. Vic is “a playground for rich Calgarians”. They may be on opposite ends of many political debates, but they are both similar in personality in a traditional/romantic/conservative way. 

- She also has a bit of an interesting (if mildly condescending) relationship with Hally - polar opposite in attitudes and class backgrounds, but share historical, cultural and geographical similarities enough to at least be able to work together and chat a fair bit.  

- “Hey Whitehorse, remember that ship I sent you?” “Ahh... about that...”

CURRENT QUIRKS

- Old lady at heart. Uses facebook to share pictures of visitors to her yard, post old memes directly to people’s walls, and like Every Selfie before inquiring after the person depicted on the public comments. Thinks she’s the wine mom when she’s actually the tea granny, and her big social excursions are usually with her bridge group/the Greater Vic Committee. 

- Loves to cook with stuff she grows herself and always has herbs at the ready, though she’s quite particular about who she cooks for or takes out for dinner. Also has a serious sweet tooth when it comes to tea time and candy/chocolates.

- She can actually be a little reserved when it comes to hospitality at times even though she’s extremely friendly and outgoing. Doesn’t actually like people staying in her house for extended periods free of charge... remember that BC stands for Bring Cash. That said, she will absolutely be over-generous with weed and offer a complete stranger a joint five minutes after chatting with them.

- Will talk with you, unsolicited, about anything. Friendly to the point that a quiet brusque prairie person like me will be totally caught off guard. Will continue talking as you’re trying to bike up a 45 degree angle. 

- Her manner in some cases can come across as overly blunt or even imperious in that I’m Old So Of Course I Know Better Way and condescending without actually realizing it (”I was cleaning out my attic and found these old photographs I took- they are not the best photos but I’m sure they’ll be adequate to decorate your house”).

- Despite maturity beyond her years, she’s actually got a really good grasp on cool/retro trends and interesting food. While she does tie into the generic maple-washed Canadiana that tourists expect, she’s also very good at putting her own flair on things and emphasizing her own interests (ex. especially comics and games).

- Really into old cars and trucks. Like it’s kind of worrying but considering all the retired people she lives with and the cost of driving to the mainland via BC Ferries (which she h a t e s), it kind of makes sense. A collector.

- Staying out past 9 pm on a weekend is kind of a big deal for her. Also never goes Anywhere in a hurry. So chill and laid back about Everything (but will launch into a passionate rant about how invasive species are actually Necessary Okay or When Will The Deer Stop Eating My Plants?!) no matter how high she is.

- Regardless of how she identifies herself, Vic is extremely queer friendly. Romance of any orientation absolutely warms her heart and she has a particularly strong trans community and archive. She can perhaps be a little nosy about things, but can be really accepting despite her old/conservative stereotype.

- Her favourite holiday (perhaps next to Victoria Day) is Christmas. She goes ALL OUT on lights and decorations every year. 

- While she might be more famous for her penchant for yoga and paddleboarding or sailing and other such individual and relaxed recreational activities, she did beat the Montreal Canadiens for the Stanley Cup before the NHL even formed. Not that she brags, but she does carry a lot of smugness around with her and that’s just one more thing to be smug about.

- Has an umbrella and KNOWS how to use it as both shield and sword. Have at thee, weather and disreputable politicians! Also will absolutely defend an oak tree in her yard with firearms.

Perhaps more will be added later but that’s what I think of. 

#projectcanada cities #pc: victoria #hapo rambles #hapo reads canadian history #pc headcanon

[dustyvixen]

woah hello new followers, time to force this shitty meme on y’all to introduce myself. ily <3

I didnt read any of these questions before hand, i just stole the first one i saw, so we’re all in for a wild ride.   General Information: - Full Name: Olivia. please never call me this - Public Nicknames: Dusty or Olive - Friends-Only Nicknames: Olive oil - Age: 18/19 in November - Gender : Female - Acceptable Pronouns: she/her - Sexual/Romantic Orientation:  Pansexual  - Relationship Status: Single - Spouse/Partner: ^^^ - Date of Birth: November 22 - Zodiac: Scorpio-Sagittarius cusp  - Birthplace: Queensland  - Current Residence: The dull void known as Brisbane - Occupation(s): Freelancer -- Appearance: - Blood Type: idk lmao - Nationality: Australian - Ethnicity/Ancestry: Half kiwi, half european (Scotland n shit aye) - Height: 5'5" - Weight: idk but I am very l o r g e - Bodily Build: Big, heavy, somewhat male weight distribution (thanks hormone disorder) - Eye Colour: brown - Hair Colour: dark brown, with dark amber ends (old hair dye)  - Skin Tone: Olive-ish - Scars/Markings: a few from when i was a kid, 90% stretch marks, lots of freckles on my arms -- Personality: - General Attitude: Chill, but easily aggravated. also super depressed and anxious woop - Life’s Aspirations: To exist tbh, art, taxidermy and botany are cool too i guess - Favorite Foods: M E A T. also mangos - Religion: none. I do work with The Morrigan though. - Likes: Plants, tea, bones, crows, natural history books, floral scents, foggy winter morning smells, Honey. - Dislikes: loud noise, prosciutto, maggots, city smells (aka fuel/diesel smell), possums in my roof, heat, - Fears: Vomiting, Closed in spaces (like one way tubes or caves), Strong winds (not fear, but they make me anxious) -- Relationships: - Father: Big pushover, I like to debate with him a lot, can sometimes be a bit narrow minded. Complains about dumb things like a kid. - Mother: avoid when shes in a mood ™ , she dealt with a LOT of bad shit in her life, kiwi af, good for some banter. - Sister(s): none - Brother(s): I got 3 older bros, we all give each other shit like good siblings - Best Friend: YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE MANG - Pets: 3 Budgies (Levi, Kea, and Apollo), 1 carpet python (Aphrodite), 1 dog (Wolf), 2 rats (Hemlock and Ash), 1 cat (Zelda), and 8 Chickens  --- Anyone you admire a lot? - Confident, yet kind people  If you could go two years back in time, what would you tell yourself? - id just punch myself in the head for focusing so much on trying to get into relationships instead of SELF LOVE BITCH

When did you realize your current sexuality? - uuH i think in like grade 7 or 8?? idk it kinda just happened lmao Do you have any lesser-known talents? - Good at judging a situation/emotions, tying knots  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

What was the last verse of the song you're listening to- where the trees grow taller and the suns are smaller somehow. Ever gotten in a flame war? - nope What's the last thing you did before this meme? - scrolled through pinterest lookin up plants What is your favorite fruit? - Mangos, pomegranates, cherries and lychees What time do you usually end up going to sleep? - 12am-1am  What's your catchphrase/A word you use a lot?-  my dude, lmao, woop, uhh

What is your alignment (Lawful, neutral or chaotic matched with good, neutral or evil)? - Chaotic neutral What was your first fandom? - the warriorcats, but i never made OC’s n stuff, i just read the books How are you feeling right now? - questionable Are you good at Mario Kart? - ill woop yo ass at mario kart What do you do on an average Saturday night? - divination, sometimes drink,  HOW MANY CAPRI SUNS HAVE U DRINK IN THE LAST 48 HOUR???? - we dont drink that devil liquid here Who's your favorite OC that you own? - please dont make me choose, I have 80 of them. Are you a proactive or reactive person? - reactive How many days until your next birthday? - im too lazy to check How many blankets do you sleep with? - 2-3 in winter (a duvet, and 2 mink blankets), none in summer What are three OTPs of yours? - none What's a song you hate? - Blurred lines Art or music? - ???what???

What's a song that reminds you of your lover/crush? - obedear, by purity ring Do you have a celebrity crush? - no?? i never understood them How do you want to die? - i dunno? in my sleep i guess What's your opinion of the last person you talked to? - the best nublet of them all What are your favorite fandoms? - Avas demon, uhh im not in a lot of fandoms What do you usually draw? - Monsters and questionable things How'd you come up with your username? - The first roadkill i picked up was an old mummified vixen.  What's the weirdest thing you've done in public? - talked about murdering possums with a potato Coke or Pepsi? - n o n e How many friends do you have? - a few Using three words, how would your friends describe you - weird, uh, angery How would you describe your morality? - Im trying to improve it, but its average i suppose How emotional are you? - very Who's your favorite fictional character? - CALCIFER

What's your favorite music album? - Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues

How's your social standing? - i rarely leave home so its non existent What's the worst media you have ever consumed? - consumed??what??? Any movements you make unintentionally (drumming fingers, twirling hair)? - bouncing my leg Have you ever been romantically attracted to a fictional character? - nay What social media site do you use the most? - Twitter or DeviantArt idk What's your favorite video game? - Oblivion, Spyro, MediEvil. honestly there’s a lot so i cant pick one What are some personality traits you despise? - extreme narcissism, elitism, entitlement. Ever been to a convention? - one, an alternative expo years ago, im too poor to afford conventions Cats or dogs? - dogs, but i still like cats What does your favorite shirt look like? - its my pajama shirt with a boston terrier on it Do you think Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer? - fuck this meme thing was longer than thought. all that to end on this question? shit man. of course he is the zodiac killer jeez.

#about me #im sorry #but these memes are my guilty pleasure #shrug

[dejarooo]

“Fake it. Fake it until you make it.” She said, facing the class of mixed-age students. She was a senior in the time when I was just transitioning to the school as a freshman. Part of her final project was to give us underclassmen a bit of advice she picked up in her high-school experience.

Never did I think the words would become so prevalent, especially not almost 5 years after hearing them.

My life has had so many twists and turns. From transitioning to that new school, to the substantial amount of insecurities I would gain in the following years -- stemming from family, body issues and Creek niggas that tried to get the best of me. We’ll talk about all of those another time.

My senior year was my year. I considered myself a rose finally en fleurs, and finally viewed myself as the sunshine so many compared me to. I wasn’t letting anything or anybody get me down. I wasn’t letting niggas even get close enough to try! Frankly, I was sick of the bullshit. I was so tired of living for other people and I was ready to start doing me.

So, I did that. I twisted. I stopped people pleasing. I gained my own style, structure, and confidence. I built myself up and away from boys who didn’t want much more than to waste my time. By the time I graduated, I had most of my life laid out in front of me. I was working, doing something I loved. I had plans of a career, and was(/am) taking classes towards making those plans happen. I had full circles of friends. I met the absolute love of my life, and every weekend, I was out living my life. Without trying, I was happy. I was laughing, smiling. I was so full.

Then, the turns came. I honestly should have seen it coming. I have a beautiful life, and I thank God for it daily. However, there’s never been a complete bout of happiness where the devil hasn’t come and at least tried to stick his hand in the mix. My aunt says this happens to people of faith very often, and while I’m sometimes hesitant to listen to her, this was something she was right about.

I was no longer happy at my job, and I quit. Both of my best friends began to social distance long before the rona came. I don’t even blame them. I mean, shit’s hard out here. Also, apparently college is a.. thing? -- And before you say, “WE BEEN KNEW, SIS!”, it is ridiculously HARD! Stress and anxieties started running rampant in my mind. The women in my house have seriously been at one another’s throat. (Who would’ve thunk that extremely high levels of estrogen would be a BAD thing?) It’s been pretty bad, even to the point where I started to doubt the same confidence and passions I worked so hard to build in those last four, gruesome years of public school.

Today marks day 51 that I’ve been in the house, thanks to Miss Rona. Bored because I no longer have work, stressed because now I have school. I’ve never felt more caged in my life. What’s funny is: When I was a little girl, I absolutely loved spending whole ass summers in the house. I kept myself entertained! I’d read books, play games, and with my dolls and whatever else. But now that I’m a (legal, not mental) adult, it’s much harder. I honestly believe that even two summers ago, I would have been able to just sleep my summer away, and when I wanted to, I’d do a just few things to keep myself entertained and I’d be content. It was easy. I feel like it’s the fact that I had just started LIVING. Like, I was doing ALL THE THINGS. All the things I dreamed of doing in the high-school, but couldn’t because I wasn’t old enough or didn’t have the time to. I was no longer saying ‘no’ to going out or trying new things. I was going on mini adventures. It was like the moment I started living my life, it was taken away. It feels like I’m on punishment, and maybe that’s why my case of cabin fever is so terrible.

So, yeah. I’m a broke-ass college student that misses the outside, her boyfriend, friends and church. But, these long days in quarantine have made me realize something.

It could be much, much worst.

I once had someone tell me that they hate viewing their problems like that. They felt that it invalidates the problem, and puts a significance on other people’s problems vs. your own. But, I don’t see it that way at all. In fact, I think it may be one of the easiest ways to count all your blessings. I could be somewhere, homeless, and without my lovable, annoying ass family. I could just as easily be in poverty, struggling without the wisdom and help from the people I love most. Hell, I could have the rona. I could be pregnant and trying to support a family. At my age, that’s what my mama was doing. She had it hard as hell and broke her back trying to work and do school, and make ends meet all while being pregnant with my sister. I don’t have those problems, and, well, I wouldn’t exactly pray to. If I don’t like the way I’m being treated at a job, I don’t have to work it. I have so many options and it makes my future brighter than it’s ever been. The curve of the virus is flattening, when in reality, it could be hitting us much harder than it has been. When it’s all over, I can travel like crazy, I can see the world with the people I love. I can go on those mini-adventures again. I can hug again. I can live my life again.

But, for now, I’m quarantined in a warm house, with so much to do, so many hobbies to explore. All of my loved-ones, even the ones that have been a bit estranged since before the virus, have reached out to me. I’ve heard from family I haven’t seen, let alone, spoken to in years. From indoors, I’ve made new friends and even re-connected with some old ones. All my relationships grew in strength: platonic, romantic, and most importantly, the one I have with God.

The scariest thing is that I could just as easily be estranged from Him. I’m privileged enough to know Him more than I ever have my entire life. I’m privileged to have a computer and still attend virtual church, and have the room and space to take notes when it feels like a message is hand-made for me. He’s been there for me through the entire ride, and, I could just as simply be someone who considered myself far from him. I guess you could say I’m eternally lucky.

If you read this and asked yourself, “Is she finally getting to the point?” You’re right! I am.

Here’s what I’ve decided to do:

On the days where my anxiety is really hitting me, where I’m stressed and it feels like self-isolation and lockdowns have no end -- when I’m sad, or I feel trapped. I’m gonna give myself a moment to feel it. Let out every emotion, ground, do what I need to do to re-stabilize myself and re-center what’s most important. I’m gonna count every blessing I listed, and the bountiful ones I have pouring in. I’m gonna recognize that they’re never-ending, and God’s got me.

Then, I’m gonna fake it.

I’m gonna crank my music up as loud as my room can stand it, I’m gonna dance like an idiot. I’m gonna bake cookies, and make corny Tik-Toks. I’m gonna sing as if I’m not tone-deaf. I’m gonna look at memes. I’m gonna run around with my dogs, dive into a pile of my pillows and blankets, and really cherish that long stroll to the mailbox. I’m gonna worship God, and do everything in my power that would and could make me happy. I’m gonna smile and laugh until it physically hurts. If that happiness isn’t there, even for just a moment, I’m going to fake it until it is.

After feeling it all out, I’ll realize that it could be so much worst. I’ll realize that I’m lucky for every last thing, and person I have come across. And, if that doesn’t make me happy enough, I’ll have to fake that happiness for a little bit, at least until I make it there on my own. 

If COVID-19 has taught me anything at all, it’s how fragile life is. How easily it can be taken away, and taken for granted. With that being said, maybe we shouldn’t spend so much of this time being negative, or counting all those things that went wrong. Maybe we could spend that same energy counting the things that went right, every blessing we’ve encountered. Perhaps we could even spend some of that same energy faking it. Faking it until we get to the point where we don’t have to anymore. 

[tasedagod]

meme: ★  five times my muse though yours looked breath-taking, and the one time they voice it. status: selectively accepting

@cloakboy​

Darcy Lewis has an uncanny knack for finding herself in the path of trouble, so when the world starts to go haywire around her, it really doesn’t surprise her as much as it should. “One normal week! Is that too much to ask for?” she mutters once she’s ducked out of the way of what looked like a fireball. But just as soon as everything started, it’s put to an end. Standing in the middle of everything is a tall man in red and blue. She doesn’t have a lot of time to process before he’s gone, but the thought ‘Hot damn,’ crosses her mind.

Another month, another country. Being with Jane means Darcy moves around a lot. Not that she’s complaining. It lets her see the world, but it doesn’t let her experience the stupid, fun touristy stuff. She has to focus on helping Jane work instead of enjoying visiting new countries. She’s checking on a piece of equipment she had helped Jane place a few days earlier when she sees him again. Red and blue, just like before, the wind catching his cloak. It makes him look majestic. Otherworldly might be a better descriptor. All she can do is stare.

Darcy recognizes him by his clothes, not his face, so when a man approaches her while she’s leaning against the car and enjoying her to-go cup of coffee as she waits for Jane, she’s less than polite. She doesn’t even look fully at him, only briefly side-eyes him as he starts asking questions about the equipment strapped to the top. No, it’s not her stuff, it’s her boss’s. Yes, she knows what it does. No, she’s not going to explain it. Jane comes out before Darcy has to endure too many more questions, and with a terse smile, she turns to the man to excuse herself and instead ends up staring. He’s striking. Something she didn’t realize from her earlier side-eye. Prominent cheekbones, intense eyes, a bit of distinguished greying in his hair. Before she can remember what she was going to say, Jane has settled in the passenger seat and he’s excused himself, turning to walk away.

It’s a game Darcy plays when she’s bored and should be working. Something to do when she can’t sneak an actual game. All Wikipedia articles eventually lead to philosophy if you keep clicking the first, non-italicized link outside of parentheses. So she hits the link for a random article and starts clicking. Social Analysis (journal) is the first random article she follows to philosophy. K-server problem is the second. The third random article starts her off at the page of some surgeon. Dr. Stephen Strange. She’s about to click off of it when she realizes that she recognizes the man in the included picture. He’s the one who’d been asking questions the week before. The picture doesn’t really do him justice, because she remembered what he looked like up close, and damn.

Darcy’s making a coffee run when she sees him again. A flash of red as he cuts down an alley. It a completely different city, and yet here he is. Coffee forgotten for the moment, she jogs to the alley and peers down, trying to get another glimpse of him. And there he is, just standing in the alley, working on something she can’t make out. Before she can approach, what he’s doing becomes clear. A door opens into nothing. It’s not the strangest thing she’s ever seen, but it’s a shock to see someone actually controlling something like that. There’s no visible equipment. No destruction in its wake. He simply opens a hole in the air and steps through, leaving her breathless and staring at the place where he vanished. “Holy shit.”

After what Darcy saw, she starts trying to piece what she knows together. He’s shown up around some anomalies. There’s no way he can be responsible for the big ones, can he? That little hole in space he made didn’t seem like it could cause some of the readings Jane’s machines had picked up. So she goes back through the readings and tries to see if there’s anything she can pick out that might lead back to him. Digging through the log of all the anomalies that the machines have picked up, Darcy starts to notice something. Little blips. They’re barely even enough to be registered, so at first she just looks right past them. Then she starts to see a pattern. The days she remembers seeing him around, there are blips of energy picked up in the readings. Once she has something to look for, she goes back, looking for even more. What she finds is more of those strange, little energy blips than one man could theoretically generate. They’re all over, and she needs to get to the bottom of this. It takes a few weeks, but Darcy finds him again. Sees him entering a building she’s passed before but never really paid attention to. So she does the obvious thing and walks right up to the door. Maybe part of the reason that she ends up in trouble so often is because she can recognize it coming and chooses to stay and face it instead of getting the hell out of the way like a normal person. Or maybe her experiences have made her too bold to worry about self-preservation. When the door opens, to her surprise she recognizes his face from wikipedia. An amused smile spreads across her lips as she stares up at him. “Hey, hot stuff. Doctor Strange, right? My name’s Darcy, and I’ve got a few questions. Mind if I come in?”

#cloakboy #okay so it's less the 5 times she thinks he looks breathtaking #and more the five times she goes 'damn he's hot' #close enough right? #this got so much longer than i intended it #whoops

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

What it’s like to be Pornhub's social media manager

Managing a brand’s social media is tricky for anyone in 2019, and it’s even more challenging if you’re the social voice (and face) of Pornhub, the web’s most popular porn site. We spoke with Aria Nathaniel about the fine line she walks at the office each day.

Boasting a whopping 6 million followers on Instagram and 1.25 million on Twitter, Pornhub has amassed extensive reach on social media channels. By riffing on memes, trends, and current events — and interacting with readers — Pornhub stays relevant and continues to build an engaged community.

Most of that work is done by one woman — Pornhub's social media manager, Aria Nathaniel, who’s staying up to date not just on what Pornhub’s doing, but on the latest trends across the internet.

The voice of Pornhub

Between spreading awareness of the brand, engaging with followers, and keeping her posts within each platforms’ terms of service, Nathaniel has a big job. But for all the extra behind-the-scenes challenges of running social media for a porn brand, Nathaniel's work appears effortless to the average follower. 

Like all social media managers, Nathaniel's job requires her to stay up on what's happening online. “I try to latch on to mainstream trends and breaking news stories to boost engagement. If people are talking about something nonstop, I want to insert myself into that discussion,” Nathaniel tells Mashable via email. “It’s me 24/7, 365.”

“I’m constantly scouring the news and keeping myself 'in the know' on things — sports, politics, entertainment, video games," she says.

#instagramdown pic.twitter.com/yaZlCJy0tm

— Pornhub ARIA (@Pornhub) March 13, 2019

Like any social media manager for a brand, Nathaniel has to follow certain rules (like the aforementioned platforms' terms of service). But as the voice of a large adult entertainment platform, she has more leeway about what she shares than, say, someone running social for a telecom or an airline. “I’m afforded a unique opportunity to pave my own funny/witty/sexy/raunchy lane and break away from all the mundane commentary that tends to typically proliferate [on] branded social media,” she says. 

This strategy, Nathaniel says, has made Pornhub more “approachable,” adding, “People are able to see me being silly on social media and are less inclined to think of us as strictly an adult entertainment platform. I like giving Pornhub a personality that many people can relate to.”

RT if you sexually identify as a mistake

— Pornhub ARIA (@Pornhub) March 20, 2019

She puts thought into the type of content to put on each platform: The Twitter account is heavy with jokes and memes, because, as Nathaniel says, “it’s especially important to be relevant and topical with whatever you’re posting about there.”

Because Instagram is more visually focused, she notes, she focuses on promoting some of the adult entertainers and "posting pictures from various marketing initiatives we’re doing, whether it be a new product, physical activation, or stunt.”

SEE ALSO: Oh great, another 'Game of Thrones' porn parody is here

While some of the content Pornhub posts may get your heart racing just a bit or isn’t something you’d want coworkers in your office catching you scrolling through, Nathaniel says that nothing she posts violates TOS. While content has occasionally been removed from Instagram, she says those instances generally aren’t a TOS violation but coordinated attacks by dissenters, “a result of people mass reporting our account because they don’t agree with what we stand for.”

There are other social media challenges for Nathaniel, too, but, surprisingly, not the ones you might think.  

Side-stepping Twitter’s darker corners

We all know that along with the good things they do, like providing a platform for marginalized voices, social media channels can also be terrible places, filled with harassment and misogyny, making these platforms a minefield for women. One study, published in December 2018, found that women were harassed on Twitter every 30 seconds. And you know it’s not a good thing when that number actually feels like it's lowballing how often it occurs.

Nathaniel, though, says she’s actually been relatively lucky when it comes to harassment. She tells me she keeps a close eye on Pornhub's mentions so she can interact with followers, and doesn’t receive too many harassing comments. “The internet, by and large, has been rather kind to me/us in regards to comments and interactions," she says.

View this post on Instagram

Find me nowhere near the sun because my skin has evidently never seen the light of day....selfie. #phworthy

A post shared by Pornhub (@pornhub) on Feb 27, 2019 at 5:58pm PST

But Nathaniel does make an effort to evade trolls by being careful about what she chooses to post about, and avoiding controversial political topics. “I’m very cognizant so as to not post something too controversial because I don’t want my comments and replies to turn into a hateful thread where people are arguing back and forth with each other," she tells me. 

Still, there are some questionable queries thrown Nathaniel's way, even as she seems to take them in stride. “The one question I’m asked incessantly... is why I haven’t done porn, which I take as a compliment,” she says. 

In reality, she says she rarely even visits porn sets: “Because I’m the brand ambassador it’s pretty rare [that] I’d wind up on the production set unless it was for a marketing campaign. We do very little production ourselves, actually, which usually surprises most people.”

Nathaniel hasn’t had many issues with overzealous followers, either, and when she has it's been mostly positive. “For a while I had a wonderful fan sending me donuts every week. While it’s not uncommon for people to send me things, this was recurring and quite wholesome.”

Fans also appreciate her literal realness: “It always amazes me when people realize I’m not a bot and actually a real human," she says. "I always get a good laugh from that. Most people are super nice and gracious, and I’m always so appreciative.“ At the end of the day, regardless of someone’s profession, people should be mindful of the things they say to them.”

View this post on Instagram

Gal pals! #phworthy

A post shared by Pornhub (@pornhub) on Mar 13, 2019 at 8:03am PDT

The big online porn behemoths Pornhub, RedTube, and YouPorn are all owned by the company Mindgeek, and each has its own social media manager. When asked if these social media accounts might play a role in the misogyny that’s rampant on these platforms, Nathaniel points out that all of Mindgeek's social media accounts are run by women. “[Mindgeek] is a cool place for us as women to speak up and speak out on things that are near and dear to us."

Nathaniel says she also has a great relationship with those other social media managers: “I’m close friends with YouPorn Katie and the social media manager for RedTube, Emma.” 

All three women work in the same office, she says, and adds, “We do sometimes talk shop but rarely compare notes. We want to be as genuine as possible and if we compare notes or share tips with respect to what does and doesn’t work on our distinct platforms, that may compromise our authenticity and personality.”

Treading carefully

One might think a drawback to working in the adult entertainment business would be becoming numbed to sex. After all, there have been numerous stories about the effects on those who watch a lot of pornography; it stands to reason that working in the industry, even an arm's length from production, one might run similar risks.

But Nathaniel says she hasn’t experienced this in her job. “People always expect me to be super horny or super desensitized to sex from working here, but I don’t feel a shift in anything at all. If anything, I’m just more informed.”

Elaborating, she adds, “Working at Pornhub is like being in sex ed class 24/7, and I mean that in the best way possible. I’m more knowledgeable about sex and sexual health. I’m more aware of the sexual community and the challenges they face. I’m more in tune with sex workers and have been fortunate to form lifelong friendships with many of them.”

That’s not to say she doesn’t have any concerns. When you’re the person behind a major brand online, you’re always a target of trolls and others looking for you to make the slightest misstep. Or, sometimes, no mistakes at all; they’re just ready to pounce. 

The story of Amy Brown, the Wendy’s social media manager who blew up thanks to sassy tweets but soon experienced a backlash for no reason other than that people are jerks, is one such example.

Being sharp and genuine and connecting with the readership is a big part of the task, too, and Nathaniel is quick to praise the entire social media team at Pornhub, adding, “We work tirelessly to ensure we’re culturally competent, authentic, and sensitive to people.” 

“At the end of the day we just want to put a smile on people’s faces. I want someone to be scrolling through Twitter, stop on my Tweet and laugh out loud or smile. That’s all," she says.

And it's working: Users apparently like Nathaniel's voice so much, that there are multiple series on YouTube featuring her, including the day-in-the-life series “Chronicles of Aria,” and “Pyft,” in which Nathaniel operates a rideshare for porn stars. “[Many] people who follow us on social ask to see more of me and my personality, so we thought this would be a cool way to do so on a safe for work platform," she says.

While it appears that she leads an adventurous life, Nathaniel insists that she’s not “a wild and crazy person” but has had a few fun moments, like the 2018 Pornhub Awards in Los Angeles. “I never thought that I’d have Kanye West (who was creative director of the awards show) physically stitching a dress to my body.”

Ultimately, the success of both the Pornhub social media strategy and Nathaniel herself has boiled down to maintaining that much-talked-about authenticity and not losing her sense of self, particularly on a platforms littered with garbage, bots, and plenty of hate speech.

And, she says, it’s especially important to stay centered when you run the account for adult entertainment; the subject matter itself can inspire people who might think it’s okay to be horribly foul in response while at the same time angering people who, as Nathaniel mentioned, don’t like what Pornhub does.

Ultimately, Nathaniel has found that balance: “Pornhub Aria is who I am as a person. I haven’t changed to conform to people’s preferences or anything. I’m super authentic and take pride in that.”

#_uuid:a7bfaf87-ad63-3e3a-8da2-03e1359794b9 #_category:yct:001000002 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL #_author:Marcus Gilmer #_revsp:news.mashable

[unifiedsocialblog]

11 Movies + TV Series Every Social Media Marketer Should Watch

The greatest education is often wrapped in entertainment, which is why Bill Nye the Science Guy made a deeper impression on me than any real-life science teacher ever did.

And when it comes to social media marketing, you’re in luck: there are a ton of valuable lessons to be gleaned from pop culture.

Here are nine movies and two TV series that every social media marketer should watch.

Bonus: Want to know how a viral social video creator makes millions of dollars in sales? Download the free guide now.

11 movies and TV series for social media managers

1. Eighth Grade (2018)

Simultaneously heartwarming and excruciating to watch (especially if you were ever a teenage girl), this movie follows quiet, sensitive 13-year-old Kayla Day (Elsie Fisher) over her last week of eighth grade.

Social media is a constant presence in Kayla’s life, as she takes Snapchat selfies, uploads videos to her YouTube channel, or scrolls mindlessly through Instagram. For Kayla, social media is a source of anxiety, but it’s also an escape.

Eighth Grade really captures what life is like for the Gen Z teens who have never known a world before social media, and how hard it is for adults (like Kayla’s father) to understand their relationship to it. And while plenty of films capture the dark side of social media, Eighth Grade also shows that it’s a place where shy, awkward teens feel like they can express themselves and explore their identities.

If you want to understand how the average teenager is using social media, this movie is your field guide.

2. The American Meme (2018)

This Netflix documentary explores the seedy underbelly of internet fame and influencer culture.

It focuses on four social media celebrities—Paris Hilton , former Vine star Brittany Furlan, Josh Ostrovsky (a.k.a. The Fat Jewish), and Kirill Bichutsky— who talk candidly about the ways that fame has messed with their personal relationships and mental health.

The American Meme reveals the real people behind their carefully-constructed online personas, and the disconnect is striking. Even though these stars have tremendous influence and massive followings, they all experience feeling isolated, trapped and alone.

Considering that many Millennials would choose fame over a career or a college education, this movie should be required viewing for anyone who idolizes internet fame.

3. A Simple Favor (2018)

In this twisted, funny thriller, Anna Kendrick plays Stephanie, a “mommy vlogger” who befriends Emily (Blake Lively), a glamorous, successful PR executive, after their sons meet at school. After a few weeks of arranging playdates for their kids and drinking martinis in the afternoon, Emily suddenly disappears and Stephanie launches her own amateur investigation into what happened to her.

The two women are contrasts in how social media can be used to hide.

Emily is completely offline: she has no internet presence, and she refuses to even let Stephanie take her photo. In the words of her husband (played by Henry Golding, fulfilling his moral obligation to take his shirt off in every role), she is “a beautiful ghost.” In comparison, Stephanie uses her cheerful vlog full of crafts and baked goods to mask her own dark secrets.

You could take a few lessons from this movie (and its marketing) on how to stoke excitement and anticipation with a social media campaign. Blake Lively set off a flurry of interest when she deleted all of her Instagram photos and began only following accounts that shared her character’s name.

But you can also just turn off your brain and enjoy it for Emily’s wardrobe of incredible three-piece suits. Your call!

4. The Joneses (2009)

While this movie came out before Instagram even existed, it’s shockingly relevant to our era of social media influencers and #sponcon. It follows the Jones “family”, who are actually an unrelated group of stealth marketers. Their job is to use their social influence in order to convince friends and neighbors to buy things, from frozen food to golf clubs.

If you’ve ever bought a top because it looked great on your most stylish friend (or your favorite Instagrammer), you’ll understand the premise of this movie. Influencer marketing is a powerful tool because people make purchasing decisions based on the opinions of real people who they trust and admire.

The Jones family begins to fracture when they start realizing that they don’t believe in the integrity of what they’re selling. Similarly, when working with an influencer, it’s important to make sure your values are aligned.

Compromising what you believe in may help you make a quick sale, but it will ultimately erode your followers’ trust in you, and damage your reputation.

5. Moneyball (2011)

A sports movie that’s secretly a movie about analytics! That’s a spicy bait-and-switch.

Moneyball is based on the true story of Billy Beane (Brad Pitt), the Oakland Athletics coach who had to build a strong baseball team without the money to hire top-ranked players. To do it, he hired Peter Brand (baby-faced Jonah Hill), a young analyst who proposed a new strategy: recruiting players using data about their in-game activity, rather than relying on the recommendations of baseball scouts.

While there’s no actual social media in this movie (Brad Pitt, sadly, never takes a single selfie for the ‘gram), it’s a perfect analogy for the value of data in crafting your perfect strategy. The Oakland A’s were failing by trying to use methods that worked for other teams, rather than measuring and understanding what could work for them. When they started recruiting strategically, they started winning.

Many companies try to find success by copying what’s worked for a competitor, rather than looking at what works best for them. There are many ways to refine your marketing strategy with data, like running A/B tests and researching your target audiences.

Another tip from Moneyball? Assess your marketing strategy as a whole (your baseball team) rather than focusing on stand-alone pieces (your individual players), so you can understand how the pieces fit together.

6. Ingrid Goes West (2017)

In this very dark comedy, the mentally unstable Ingrid (Aubrey Plaza) becomes infatuated with Taylor (Elizabeth Olsen), an influencer from LA who chronicles her glamorous beachy life on Instagram.

Ingrid packs up her bags and follows her new obsession to California, where she studies Taylor’s social media for clues to where she lives, shops, and eats, eventually manipulating her way into a real-life friendship.

Despite the time that Ingrid and Taylor spend together and the Coachella Valley photos they tag each other in, they never actually get to know each other. Ingrid is fixated on Taylor’s lifestyle and image, but doesn’t notice or care that the real Taylor is vapid and flaky.

“Why are you acting like this?” Ingrid’s quasi-boyfriend Dan asks. “You don’t even like these people!”

Both of them are so busy curating their own images that they never look deeper. It’s a reminder that you can’t build real relationships (with customers or with Instagram stalkers) if you’re 100 percent focused on your own content. You also need to engage meaningfully and show real personality. As Ingrid finds out (spoiler alert!), being fake only works for so long.

Bonus: Want to know how a viral social video creator makes millions of dollars in sales? Download the free guide now.

Get the free social video guide now!

7. You (2018)

Continuing the stalker theme, You is a series best summarized as “Pretty Little Liars + Gossip Girl + murder.” If that phrase is meaningless to you, trust me when I say it’s an immensely entertaining combination.

Told from the point of view of Joe (played by Penn Badgley), a bookstore manager with an inexplicably spacious New York apartment, You is about his all-consuming obsession with a pretty blonde customer who wanders into his shop. He promptly Googles her name (Guinevere Beck, played by Elizabeth Lail) and finds her Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and home address—a stalking starter kit.

This is all in the first ten minutes; the rest of You chronicles Joe’s deranged efforts to attain a romantic relationship with Beck by any means necessary, including extreme measures like voluntarily assembling IKEA furniture and murdering her ex-boyfriend.

You is trashy fun, but it will also make you think twice about privacy and security settings.

When Joe steals Beck’s phone so he can read her email and monitor her text conversations, you’ll be screaming, “Why don’t you have a passcode?” at the TV. Soothe your resulting paranoia with these social media security tips.

8. The Circle (2017)

In this thriller adapted from the Dave Eggers’ novel, Emma Watson plays Mae, a young employee of a tech company called The Circle, which is helmed by CEO Eamon Bailey (Tom Hanks).

The Circle is a Facebook-esque company that encourages both employees and users to embrace absolute transparency and share everything about their lives. Mae embraces the company’s values, and chooses to broadcast her life 24/7 through a wearable camera, despite the fact that it makes her friends and family uncomfortable.

The movie is a cautionary tale about what happens when users lose faith in tech companies, and underlines the difference between choosing to share your personal data with the world and having it shared without your consent. It’s a reminder to brands that building trust and championing integrity should be an essential part of your strategy.

9. Up in the Air (2009)

In this comedy, Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) is a travelling consultant for a job he loves: flying around the country firing employees for other companies.

It sounds bleak, and the employees he meets are understandably distraught, but Ryan really believes in what he’s doing. He wants to convince them that losing their job is a good thing in the long run, because it’s freeing them to do something that actually makes them happy.

It’s surprising this works—ask yourself if you’d really believe someone who told you, as they were firing you, that it was a gift—and part of the magic is definitely George Clooney’s charm. But the other reason it works is that Ryan is helping people through a tough moment by offering them comfort, honesty and encouragement. There’s a lot to learn about navigating difficult conversations.

Every company will eventually face an uncomfortable situation, whether that’s unhappy customers or PR disasters. But if you treat your customers with empathy and compassion, you can have a positive impact. When Ryan’s new colleague introduces a digital system of performing the layoffs remotely, it fails because it’s impersonal and scripted.

10. Black Mirror (2011-2019)

The episodes in this sci-fi anthology range from funny to touching to (mostly) very disturbing.

Each one takes place in the present, or a very near future, and explores the possible consequences of technologies like social media, artificial intelligence, and virtual reality. Every episode stands alone, so you can start anywhere in the series, and all of them will give you a lot to think about.

Nosedive is one of the lighter episodes, and one of my favorites. It imagines a world where every single personal interaction can be rated on an app (like Instagram combined with the Uber’s five-star rating system).

High ratings give users privileges, like express lines at the airport; low ratings come with penalties.

Because of the system, everyone is incentivized to be polite, friendly and totally shallow. Everyone is nice, but they’re also being painfully inauthentic, and the result is a world you definitely wouldn’t want to live in.

11. FYRE (2019)

The subtitle for this Netflix documentary says it all: Fyre Festival was “the greatest party that never happened.”

A destination music festival in the Bahamas dreamed up by entrepreneur (and scammer) Billy McFarland and Ja Rule sold thousands of pricey tickets with the promise of a luxury festival filled with swimsuit models and beach-front cabanas.

Fyre was promoted almost entirely through an Instagram influencer campaign, with an early boost by a promotional video that featured celebrities like Gigi Hadid and Kendall Jenner frolicking on the beach. The chance to party with Instagram celebrities on a white-sand beach was irresistible, and the festival quickly sold 5,000 tickets.

But behind the scenes, the FyreFestival team was scrambling with logistics and insufficient funds, unable to deliver on the extravagant promises they had made to attendees. Even as it became obvious that Fyre Festival would fail, they continued posting luxurious and misleading photos on Instagram, promising a world-class experience.

When festival-goers arrived, they found wet mattresses, hurricane relief tents, and not a single bikini-clad Victoria’s Secret Model. All the bands had pulled out abruptly and the influencers had stayed home. Instead of the “Bahama-style sushi” they were promised, they were fed infamously sad sandwiches.

Here's the dinner they fed us tonight. Literally slices of bread, cheese, and salad with no dressing. #fyrefraud #fyrefestival #dumpsterfyre pic.twitter.com/NmNXakSFlq

— Trevor DeHaas (@trev4president) April 28, 2017

As stranded attendees began posting panicked tweets, Instagram Stories, and Facebook Messages, the entire world saw the Fyre Festival implode in real-time on social media.

The Fyre fyasco is the most obvious reminder in recent history that faking it on social media will always come back to bite you. Unless you’re the Oceans 8 crew, all scams are eventually discovered (hello, free bikini offers on Instagram). Even if you don’t end up going to prison like Billy McFarland, you’ll erode your customer’s trust and ruin your reputation.

If one documentary isn’t enough to sate your curiosity, Hulu also released a documentary just weeks before Netflix, called Fyre Fraud.

Once you’ve watched all of these movies and TV shows, use Hootsuite to easily manage all your social media channels from one dashboard. Grow your brand, engage customers, keep up with competitors, and measure results. Try it free today.

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[bizmediaweb]

10 Reasons Celebrities Are Better at Instagram Than Brands

The 25 most-followed accounts on Instagram are, more or less, what you’d expect. There are quite a few familiar faces: Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, Beyonce Knowles, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry—the list goes on.

And, of course, the ubiquitous Kardashian-Jenners make a good showing. The alliterative sisters Kim, Kylie, Kendall, Khloe, and Kourtney all rank within the top 20.

It’s hard to deny that celebs are good at social. And why is that?

There are a few things that they get about Instagram that brands just don’t.

Bonus: Download a free checklist that reveals the exact steps an adventure photographer used to grow from 0 to 110,000 followers on Instagram with no budget and no expensive gear. Plus we’ll show you how you can use Hootsuite to grow your own following on Instagram and other platforms.

1. They get internet humor

The internet is a vast place, full of disparate people voicing a cacophony of opinions. There’s very little that can typically be attributed to the culture of the internet as a whole.

Except maybe humor.

The internet at large, and social media in particular, is home to a particular sense of humor—a unique constellation of memes, clever hashtags, and puns, mixed with a healthy dose of nostalgia. Add in a dollop of self-deprecating jokes and you have internet culture.

And celebs get it. They get it in a way that brands just don’t.

Kylie Jenner pokes fun at herself in this Instagram post where she wears a t-shirt featuring an unflattering photo of herself that’s been circling the internet for years.

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on Apr 18, 2016 at 12:44pm PDT

This shot of Kylie Jenner is a great example. She’s showing that she can laugh at herself—it’s goofy and self-deprecating in a way that the internet loves.

2. They’re so relatable Not only do celebs get internet humor, they also get what works online: nostalgia (the #tbt is alive and well). Specifically, they get that their primarily millennial audience responds to 90s references.

🦋🦋#Butterfly is my favorite album, it's the most personal work I've ever done and will always be a defining moment in my career and in my life. I'm so happy to celebrate this anniversary with a special picture disc vinyl release – link in bio. Stay tuned for more surprises!🦋🦋

A post shared by Mariah Carey (@mariahcarey) on Sep 16, 2017 at 2:36pm PDT

So when celebrities post throwbacks—like this one from Mariah Carey—to 90s moments from their own lives, it’s very relatable for their audience.

But the relatability of celebs—that authenticity that people love to describe as ‘so real’—goes beyond embracing nostalgia. It’s about sharing moments from their lives that are a tad less glamorous than the usual red carpet shot.

In a way, the content that celebs now share on their own Insta timelines is reflective of the kind of material that paparazzos once doggedly pursued. But they’ve realized something fundamental about it: if they post it themselves, they control the message.

And, on a less cynical note, these down-to-earth, ‘authentic’ moments give them the opportunity to connect with fans. It’s precisely this relatability that explains why followers love celebs’ bathroom selfies.

A post shared by Demi Lovato (@ddlovato) on Feb 15, 2017 at 5:32pm PST

And the oh-so-relatable moments they share with the mini-humans in their lives.

Love u so much x kisses @Cruzbeckham X ✨

A post shared by Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) on Feb 12, 2018 at 8:43am PST

Or their relationships with their parents.

Bonnie and Clyde

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on Aug 5, 2017 at 5:18am PDT

Or those moments of uncontained, bona fide joy.

THE TRAILER IS JUST EEEEPPPPPPPIIIIICCCCCCC! Star Wars is back! gaaaaaad laaaaard! You know what! Let me just relax because this kind God oooo! Lmao! Seriously congrats to everyone ! December 18th!

A post shared by John Boyega (@johnboyega) on Oct 20, 2015 at 12:02am PDT

John Boyega’s reaction to The Force Awakens trailer is so utterly relatable, because his excitement reflects that of the franchise’s fans. It’s the sort of over-the-top, genuine, unabashed enthusiasm that spawns reaction GIFs—the kind people share with the comment, “Same.”

3. They get that the caption can make or break a photo

I think we can all agree that celebs have great photos. They’re often glossy, professional images that beat the average snap. But it isn’t just their photos that make their Instagram feeds stand out from the crowd. Celebs get that Instagram captions can be just as important as the image they’re attached to.

When you could go anywhere for your bday dinner but you're so OG that you go to OG with all your OG's. 📷 by @ronyalwin #thosebreadstickstho

A post shared by KATY PERRY (@katyperry) on Oct 27, 2015 at 12:37pm PDT

This Instagram from Katy Perry is the perfect example. The photo itself is nothing special, just another group photo at a restaurant. What makes it special is the caption, which cleverly plays on ‘OG’ as short for ‘Olive Garden.’

I'm up at 4am everyday to work extremely hard BEFORE I go into work, not because I'm bat shit crazy (well maybe a little;), but because I know my competitors are not paying that price and sacrificing to that degree – and that will alway give me the edge and anchor for an opportunity for success. You don't have to get up at 4am, but I encourage you to find the thing that gives you the edge over everyone else around you. Once you find it, let it be your anchor. Then you've just created an opportunity for yourself to succeed. And that's all we ever want to work hard and create for ourselves.. opportunity. #GainTheEdge #FindYourAnchor #ButForTheLoveOfGod #YouDoNotWantToWakeUpAt4amEveryday 🖕🏾😂

A post shared by therock (@therock) on Apr 12, 2016 at 2:14pm PDT

In this shot, The Rock goes beyond simply posting a photo from the gym. Instead he gives his followers a behind-the-scenes glimpse into his routine and his motivation. It’s the details around it that make the shot special.

When brands post to Instagram, their captions are often short and unexpressive—they lack personality. But personality is something that celebs have in spades. And when it comes to Insta, it not only shows—it pays off.

What many brands fail to recognize is that they need to go beyond the image. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but a great Instagram caption can be worth so much more.

4. They get that people connect with faces

Love ‘em or hate ‘em, celebs have selfies down to an art. And while selfies may be considered narcissistic, they’re based on a fundamental truth—people respond to faces.

A study by Georgia Institute of Technology and Yahoo Labs found that Instagram photos that feature human faces are 38 percent more likely to receive likes than photos without faces. They’re also 32 percent more likely to get comments.

The study’s lead, Saeideh Bakhshi, theorized about why this might be: “Faces are powerful channels of nonverbal communication. We constantly monitor them for a variety of contexts, including attractiveness, emotions, and identity.”

The researchers also found that the number of faces in a photo, their age, or gender didn’t make a difference.

We would like to share our love and happiness. We have been blessed two times over. We are incredibly grateful that our family will be growing by two, and we thank you for your well wishes. – The Carters

A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on Feb 1, 2017 at 10:39am PST

This shot of Beyonce announcing her second pregnancy proves that faces work—it was the most-liked photo on Instagram in 2017.

5. They understand that cute animals win on social

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that the internet loves a good cat photo. Or a snap of a cute puppy. Or basically any warm fuzzy thing. (Chewbacca aside, though the internet certainly loves him as well.)

Taylor Swift gets this.

Some real tough questions I had for Olivia.

A post shared by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on Sep 7, 2017 at 8:05am PDT

She incorporates her adorable felines, Dr. Meredith Grey and Detective Olivia Benson, into her feed, with excellent results.

Mary Jane ❤️

A post shared by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on Dec 2, 2017 at 11:18pm PST

Miley Cyrus is no stranger to this tactic either. Her feed boasts snaps of her own pets, puppy Boomerangs, and a personal tattoo commemorating her dog Mary Jane—effectively taking her ‘cute animal’ game to the next level.

Thankful for @beaglefreedom and their mission to free captive pups from inhumane animal testing labs! Without BFPs work I wouldn't be falling asleep next to Little Dog, being lulled by the sound of her heartbeat …. #whosavedwho #myrescuerescuedme #fucktestingonanimals ❤️💙💚💜💛 @happyhippiefdn

A post shared by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on Jul 22, 2017 at 9:41pm PDT

How can brands make this work for them? Think beyond your product and get right into your customers’ lifestyle. Might that lifestyle involve pets? Insta ‘em. Hootsuite does it with our #HootDogs hashtag.

Building friendships 👫 Some new #hootdogs getting aquainted with Owly over lunch 🐾 Welcome to the team! #lifeofowly 📷: @evarobin

A post shared by Hootsuite (@hootsuite) on Mar 31, 2017 at 1:46pm PDT

6. They go Insta-first for big news

Something that celebs do often that brands rarely emulate: they announce big news on Instagram.

Taylor Swift did it with a music video. Beyonce did it with an album.

Surprise!

A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on Dec 12, 2013 at 9:12pm PST

Others have gone Insta-first for more personal news, like engagement and pregnancy announcements.

Like Kylie Jenner did with the first shot released after the much-anticipated birth of her first child.

stormi webster 👼🏽

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on Feb 6, 2018 at 1:14pm PST

Or Danneel Ackles did with the announcement of hers and Jensen Ackles’ twins.

Yep! Doublemint here we come! http://celebritybabies.people.com/2016/08/10/jensen-ackles-danneel-harris-pregnant-expecting-twins-son-daughter/

A post shared by @ danneelackles512 on Aug 10, 2016 at 11:31am PDT

Or this heart-melting post from Michael Phelps on his engagement to Nicole Johnson.

She said yes😁😁😁 @nicole.m.johnson. (Photo credit to @arschmitty )

A post shared by Michael Phelps (@m_phelps00) on Feb 21, 2015 at 10:49pm PST

When Disney employed this strategy it was massively successful. They released the much-anticipated Star Wars teaser trailer on Instagram first and fans went wild.

There has been an awakening… #StarWars #TheForceAwakens

A post shared by Star Wars (@starwars) on Aug 27, 2015 at 10:00am PDT

7. They don’t shy away from taking a stance

Leonardo DiCaprio’s Instagram feed is a mix of beautiful landscapes and endangered animals, accompanied by fact-filled captions urging action on climate change, environmental, and humanitarian issues. Nearly all of them are Regrams.

DiCaprio uses his Insta to amplify the images, causes, and work of activist organizations. The few original posts he shares are still clearly focused on his overall message of environmentalism.

Last night’s win at the #Oscars was an incredible honor – but it was also an important opportunity to bring even more attention to #climatechange. Last year was the hottest in recorded history. Climate change is real, it is the most dire crisis our species has ever known, and it is happening right now. We must empower leaders who don’t speak for corporate interests but who speak for us, our children’s children and those whose voices cannot be heard. Take action now: LCV.org/act

A post shared by Leonardo DiCaprio (@leonardodicaprio) on Feb 29, 2016 at 7:53am PST

This dedication to his core message gives his feed a consistent focus that fans can connect with. It also tells the world what he’s about, giving him a chance to do good.

#Regram #RG @nrdc_org: Anti-environment members of Congress are trying to weaken the Endangered Species Act, effectively declaring it open season on imperiled species like the gray wolf. Visit the link in our profile to help us defend the Endangered Species Act before it’s too late.

A post shared by Leonardo DiCaprio (@leonardodicaprio) on Feb 12, 2018 at 5:43pm PST

DiCaprio isn’t the only one doing this. His single-minded focus is similar to Emma Watson’s commitment to gender equality, as she often shares posts on her talks and appearances. Like DiCaprio, Watson uses captions as a call to arms for followers to learn more and take action.

Marai- what can I say. You were the best date on the most meaningful red carpet I have ever walked. Thank you for being so darn articulate and fun. Thank you for the trust, care, compassion and solidarity. I am so proud to say I work with #Imkaan and the End Violence Against Women Coalition and to be learning from you. Emma 💪 @jusmarai

A post shared by Emma Watson (@emmawatson) on Jan 14, 2018 at 11:41pm PST

While companies don’t necessarily need to transform their feeds into a list of social justice issues, it can be beneficial to declare public support for causes about which the brand feels strongly. For example, Hootsuite is a B Corporation. B Corps use business as a force for good to solve social and environmental issues.

8. They shoot for a consistent look and feel

Celebrities are excellent at creating aesthetically-pleasing feeds. Whether they’re filled with vibrant colors, muted tones, or black and white, celeb feeds are typically identifiable by a distinctive look and feel.

Kourtney Kardashian has mastered the art of the #triplegram—a series of three related photos posted to Instagram consecutively (something that any pre-Instagram photographer would identify as a triptych).

      Image via People

    On the other hand, Joe Keery is all about creating consistency through the look and feel of his overall feed. Joe’s photos typically have a matte-finish look with muted tones reminiscent of film photography. Wherever you land in his feed, it’s clear whose photos you’re looking at.

9. They talk up their friends

Who do you see most often in celebrity photos (other than the celeb you’re following)? Their friends and family of course, just like anyone else.

Except for them, those people just happen to be other celebs.

Gettin advice. From da GOAT.

A post shared by Samira Wiley (@whododatlikedat) on Dec 14, 2017 at 3:08pm PST

They’re all about the casual name-drop mention.

Happy Birthday to my work sister #JenniferAniston !! 💕🎂 Wishing you a day filled with lots of love and laughter ! 🎊 #HBD

A post shared by Reese Witherspoon (@reesewitherspoon) on Feb 11, 2018 at 1:38pm PST

And the birthday wishes.

You might be thinking: my brand doesn’t hang out with celebrities, how is this useful to me?

The key, you see, is in the mentions. Brands should mention their friends, influencers, people they admire, and customers in posts. Tag people to show a little love and increase the potential reach of your content. After all, if you mention them, maybe they’ll mention (or even Regram) you!

10. They get that it’s all about the fans

Celebrities are only famous because of their fans. But some of them are better than others at recognizing this crucial fact.

Selena Gomez is the queen of this.

Just look at how she shows off her appreciation for her fans on her own feed.

I have a lot to be thankful for this year.. My year has been the hardest yet most rewarding one yet. I've finally fought the fight of not 'being enough'. I have only wanted to reflect the love you guys have given me for years and show how important it is to take care of YOU. By grace through faith. Kindness always wins. I love you guys. God bless

A post shared by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on Nov 24, 2016 at 6:21pm PST

One of the best ways for brands to show appreciation for their fans on Instagram is, of course, engagement. Like and comment on photos that have to do with your brand or your business. Emulate Selena Gomez and make your interactions personable.

Due to safety I couldn't go outside tonight in Winnipeg. That did NOT stop me from gettin my pic tho 💘

A post shared by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on May 20, 2016 at 8:40pm PDT

Whether you follow celebrities on Instagram or not, there’s a lot that brands can learn from them.

Follow your favorite celebrities on Instagram. Schedule posts, manage, and publish directly to Instagram with Hootsuite. Try it today.

Learn More

The post 10 Reasons Celebrities Are Better at Instagram Than Brands appeared first on Hootsuite Social Media Management.

10 Reasons Celebrities Are Better at Instagram Than Brands published first on https://themarketingheaven.tumblr.com/

[samanthasroberts]

I’m Here To Collect The Debt You Owe. Please Don’t Kill Me

People don’t like to talk to creditors. People screen their phone calls, and toss out the bills. But it’s harder to ignore someone standing on your doorstep, especially when you don’t know why they’re there until they tell you. That’s me: I’m a debt collector. I’m not authorized to hold you upside down and shake the coins out of your pockets, but I do carry some scary-looking paperwork. And in my travels, I’ve found that …

5

America Is Full Of Weird, Isolated, Occasionally Creepy Communities

A few years ago, I did a two-day stint in West Virginia. The hills play havoc with GPS signals out there. Plus the maps aren’t all that accurate, and the roads are not maintained. Some aren’t even drivable. They don’t always bother putting up a sign to say so.

traveler1116 /iStock Google sent a Street View car there. It never came back.

Driving down a road that had degenerated into a dirt track, my Jeep sank right up to its undercarriage in a mud pond, and when I trekked up to a farmhouse, the folks there said, “Why, everyone knows that road’s been out for years!” The farmer got one of his tractors and hauled my Jeep out. Months later, my water pump died. When the mechanics called me, they said, “We’ve never seen anything like it! It’s like your water pump was full of swamp water!”

That’s generally how it goes: Rural areas are the worst to get around in, but anytime I’ve needed help, someone always chipped in — whether it was from me knocking on a farmhouse door, or someone just happening to drive past at the right time.

werner22brigitte/Pixabay And not always in a car …

One time I was called to a nudist colony. The office building had a board in place of a door. On the other side of a hill were a couple dozen campers and mobile homes. No people. Several more trailers had their doors kicked in. One was on its side, and another had been on fire at some point. It looked like the apocalypse hit this place. If anyone was left, I didn’t want to meet him or her. “Hey, could you tell me which trailer belongs to this almost certainly dead person? Oh, no, I can’t tell you why I’m looking for them. Hey, could you put down that chainsaw?”

When I checked the web later, Yelp was inconclusive about whether the place was open or closed, but it did specify that it was a “boys’ nudist camp,” which just added to the creep factor.

Vintervit/iStock That’s why they call it “Yelp!”

4

People Want To Kill You

It was late autumn, and the sun was going down when I arrived at a single-family home in a working-class neighborhood. I heard shouting. A man and a woman. I knocked anyways, and the shouting stopped. An athletic man in his late 20s opened the door, and I could see a woman just leaving the room. Another man around the same age sat on the couch behind a coffee table covered in empty beer bottles.

“Oh, you’re sorting through your recycling? I can come back later.”

I was already apprehensive, but I was new and didn’t really know what to do. So I went into my standard script. I introduced myself and explained that I was there about a late car payment. He nodded and invited me in, usually a good sign. Some clients require that we never enter a debtor’s house for liability reasons, but that wasn’t the case on this job. When someone invites you in, that’s usually an extension of trust. If you refuse, that could be taken as a rejection of their trust.

Once I was inside, he sat down and said: “You know I’m an Army Ranger. I’ve been to Afghanistan. It wouldn’t be anything to me to kill you right now.” Turns out that his friend was an Army Ranger too. After only a few moments, the friend left, which at first I took to be a good thing. Then I realized he was moving his car to block me into the driveway.

One more reason we need flying cars.

Fortunately, I’d spent eight years managing a customer service call center, dealing with the angriest of callers. Those same skills applied here. I emphasized that I was a private contractor and didn’t actually care if he ever made another car payment again. I also pointed out that I wasn’t the repo guy, and me being there was actually a good thing, because the bank was still trying to work with him. And for the only time ever, I pointed out that even if he killed me, his debt wasn’t going anywhere. A risky move, but it seemed to deflate him.

“Plus, how are you going to buy the tools to bury me without credit? Well? Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

That was the first time a customer threatened to kill me. It wasn’t the last. But while I can reason with angry customers, well …

3

You Can’t Reason With Dogs

I get attacked by dogs a lot. It’s a professional problem, not a personal one. Luckily, I have a defense method that, so far, has had a 100 percent success rating: my clipboard. As the dog rushes toward me, I grab my clipboard with both hands and put it between us, metal clip towards the dog. The dog doesn’t want to bite the metal, so it starts trying to dodge past it. I just keep moving the clipboard around until the dog gets frustrated and retreats a few steps.

All the while battling flashbacks from the vet’s.

Then I back off of the property and get in my car. If I can, I photograph the dog. Most of the clients that hire me to collect on the debt end up paying me anyways, and then blacklisting the property from future field-service reps.

About halfway to one house, I heard barking and saw a pit bull tear out of the woods. Now, I know it can be an unfairly maligned breed, and I’ve known some real sweetheart pit bulls. This was not one of them. Still, I had my clipboard and I thought to myself, “another day in paradise.” Then I saw the second one. And the third, and the fourth.

“Your dick. This could be your dick.”

They surrounded me, and started lunging. I kept spinning, trying to keep them from a clear shot, clipboarding whichever was closest. Somehow I got out and got home. I kissed my wife, and then immediately got blackout drunk.

2

No One Likes A Debt Collector

Sometimes, the bank sends out paperwork, and all the homeowner has to do is fill it out, then the bank lowers their monthly payment instead of foreclosing. But most people still won’t do it. Filling out the paperwork means acknowledging the problem, and people would rather just not deal with it.

The bank mails “deal with it” memes but to no avail.

So the bank sends me. I spoke with one woman who said that she hadn’t made a house payment in seven years. She was retired, unexpected expenses had depleted her savings, and she couldn’t afford her home on her Social Security. I was gathering info to lower her payments, but she was so ashamed of her situation that I had to drag everything out of her.

Now, I know predatory loans exist. I know some banks are eager to foreclose, to the point that they’ll do it prematurely, or even go after the wrong property. But those ones rarely hire me — my clients would rather have the payment than the collateral. You don’t hire someone like me if you just want to foreclose.

When they roll out the milking machine, they’re not interested in making hamburger meat of you.

I talk to middle-class people who have never had serious financial trouble before. The emotions involved are so strong, that even when the bank wants to work with them, they’ll dodge phone calls and ignore letters. One guy took one look at the paperwork and said: “You can get the fuck out of my house.”

“You know I’m here to help, right?”

“I know. Now get the fuck out.”

About this time, you’re probably wondering, “What do you carry for protection?”

Man evolved past its primal fear of clipboards years ago.

The answer is: Nothing.

When I first started this job, I thought about getting a concealed carry permit. But most clients specifically forbid me from carrying a weapon of any kind, even mace. The reason: I’m there to collect a debt. If the debtor sees any weapon, that can be an attempt at coercion, an implied threat. You can’t threaten or coerce with physical violence as part of debt collection.

As scary as that sounds …

1

Every Weird Encounter Just Increases My Sympathy For People

Every once in a while, I’ll be talking to someone and see the newest Call Of Duty game paused on their new PS4 on their new giant-ass TV. I don’t say it, but I can’t help but think I know where at least some of that car payment went. “Comfort” purchases go up during recessions. And honestly, I don’t blame them.

Besides, nothing I say can be more hurtful than what some 13-year-old is yelling at them during multiplayer.

I used to work for little more than minimum wage, so I’ve had to play the “which bill can I let slide this month” game. When you’ve been chronically behind on bills for a while, you can’t just cut out all recreation. You’d kill yourself or go mad. Anyone who hears about debtors going out on a Friday and thinks, “they shouldn’t be spending money if they’re behind on the house” — well, they should be spending less money, perhaps, but they also need to keep themselves sane. I’d like to say I’ve learned a lot about people from looking into their homes. But the real thing I’ve learned is that you can’t truly know what’s going on in other people’s lives just from appearances, so it’s best not to judge.

And that good running shoes are always a sound investment.

Please help JSH Placie get attacked by fewer dogs. Check out his short fiction here and here. Fair warning, it’s not comedy, but it is good. Ryan Menezes is on Twitter for stuff cut from this article and other things no one should see.

Also check out 5 Disturbing New Ways Debt Collectors Are Getting Your Money and 6 Creepy Schemes Companies Use To Bury You In Debt.

Hey Cracked Podcast fans: Join Alex Schmidt, Daniel O’Brien, Katie Goldin, and our favorite LA comedians for a deep dive into which animals could conquer the world if they tried. Get your tickets here.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out Why Credit Cards Are A Scam, and other videos you won’t see on the site!

Follow us on Facebook, and we’ll follow you everywhere.

If we’ve ever made you laugh or think, we now have a way where you can thank and support us!

Make a contribution

Source: http://allofbeer.com/im-here-to-collect-the-debt-you-owe-please-dont-kill-me/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/02/23/im-here-to-collect-the-debt-you-owe-please-dont-kill-me/

[adambstingus]

I’m Here To Collect The Debt You Owe. Please Don’t Kill Me

People don’t like to talk to creditors. People screen their phone calls, and toss out the bills. But it’s harder to ignore someone standing on your doorstep, especially when you don’t know why they’re there until they tell you. That’s me: I’m a debt collector. I’m not authorized to hold you upside down and shake the coins out of your pockets, but I do carry some scary-looking paperwork. And in my travels, I’ve found that …

5

America Is Full Of Weird, Isolated, Occasionally Creepy Communities

A few years ago, I did a two-day stint in West Virginia. The hills play havoc with GPS signals out there. Plus the maps aren’t all that accurate, and the roads are not maintained. Some aren’t even drivable. They don’t always bother putting up a sign to say so.

traveler1116 /iStock Google sent a Street View car there. It never came back.

Driving down a road that had degenerated into a dirt track, my Jeep sank right up to its undercarriage in a mud pond, and when I trekked up to a farmhouse, the folks there said, “Why, everyone knows that road’s been out for years!” The farmer got one of his tractors and hauled my Jeep out. Months later, my water pump died. When the mechanics called me, they said, “We’ve never seen anything like it! It’s like your water pump was full of swamp water!”

That’s generally how it goes: Rural areas are the worst to get around in, but anytime I’ve needed help, someone always chipped in — whether it was from me knocking on a farmhouse door, or someone just happening to drive past at the right time.

werner22brigitte/Pixabay And not always in a car …

One time I was called to a nudist colony. The office building had a board in place of a door. On the other side of a hill were a couple dozen campers and mobile homes. No people. Several more trailers had their doors kicked in. One was on its side, and another had been on fire at some point. It looked like the apocalypse hit this place. If anyone was left, I didn’t want to meet him or her. “Hey, could you tell me which trailer belongs to this almost certainly dead person? Oh, no, I can’t tell you why I’m looking for them. Hey, could you put down that chainsaw?”

When I checked the web later, Yelp was inconclusive about whether the place was open or closed, but it did specify that it was a “boys’ nudist camp,” which just added to the creep factor.

Vintervit/iStock That’s why they call it “Yelp!”

4

People Want To Kill You

It was late autumn, and the sun was going down when I arrived at a single-family home in a working-class neighborhood. I heard shouting. A man and a woman. I knocked anyways, and the shouting stopped. An athletic man in his late 20s opened the door, and I could see a woman just leaving the room. Another man around the same age sat on the couch behind a coffee table covered in empty beer bottles.

“Oh, you’re sorting through your recycling? I can come back later.”

I was already apprehensive, but I was new and didn’t really know what to do. So I went into my standard script. I introduced myself and explained that I was there about a late car payment. He nodded and invited me in, usually a good sign. Some clients require that we never enter a debtor’s house for liability reasons, but that wasn’t the case on this job. When someone invites you in, that’s usually an extension of trust. If you refuse, that could be taken as a rejection of their trust.

Once I was inside, he sat down and said: “You know I’m an Army Ranger. I’ve been to Afghanistan. It wouldn’t be anything to me to kill you right now.” Turns out that his friend was an Army Ranger too. After only a few moments, the friend left, which at first I took to be a good thing. Then I realized he was moving his car to block me into the driveway.

One more reason we need flying cars.

Fortunately, I’d spent eight years managing a customer service call center, dealing with the angriest of callers. Those same skills applied here. I emphasized that I was a private contractor and didn’t actually care if he ever made another car payment again. I also pointed out that I wasn’t the repo guy, and me being there was actually a good thing, because the bank was still trying to work with him. And for the only time ever, I pointed out that even if he killed me, his debt wasn’t going anywhere. A risky move, but it seemed to deflate him.

“Plus, how are you going to buy the tools to bury me without credit? Well? Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

That was the first time a customer threatened to kill me. It wasn’t the last. But while I can reason with angry customers, well …

3

You Can’t Reason With Dogs

I get attacked by dogs a lot. It’s a professional problem, not a personal one. Luckily, I have a defense method that, so far, has had a 100 percent success rating: my clipboard. As the dog rushes toward me, I grab my clipboard with both hands and put it between us, metal clip towards the dog. The dog doesn’t want to bite the metal, so it starts trying to dodge past it. I just keep moving the clipboard around until the dog gets frustrated and retreats a few steps.

All the while battling flashbacks from the vet’s.

Then I back off of the property and get in my car. If I can, I photograph the dog. Most of the clients that hire me to collect on the debt end up paying me anyways, and then blacklisting the property from future field-service reps.

About halfway to one house, I heard barking and saw a pit bull tear out of the woods. Now, I know it can be an unfairly maligned breed, and I’ve known some real sweetheart pit bulls. This was not one of them. Still, I had my clipboard and I thought to myself, “another day in paradise.” Then I saw the second one. And the third, and the fourth.

“Your dick. This could be your dick.”

They surrounded me, and started lunging. I kept spinning, trying to keep them from a clear shot, clipboarding whichever was closest. Somehow I got out and got home. I kissed my wife, and then immediately got blackout drunk.

2

No One Likes A Debt Collector

Sometimes, the bank sends out paperwork, and all the homeowner has to do is fill it out, then the bank lowers their monthly payment instead of foreclosing. But most people still won’t do it. Filling out the paperwork means acknowledging the problem, and people would rather just not deal with it.

The bank mails “deal with it” memes but to no avail.

So the bank sends me. I spoke with one woman who said that she hadn’t made a house payment in seven years. She was retired, unexpected expenses had depleted her savings, and she couldn’t afford her home on her Social Security. I was gathering info to lower her payments, but she was so ashamed of her situation that I had to drag everything out of her.

Now, I know predatory loans exist. I know some banks are eager to foreclose, to the point that they’ll do it prematurely, or even go after the wrong property. But those ones rarely hire me — my clients would rather have the payment than the collateral. You don’t hire someone like me if you just want to foreclose.

When they roll out the milking machine, they’re not interested in making hamburger meat of you.

I talk to middle-class people who have never had serious financial trouble before. The emotions involved are so strong, that even when the bank wants to work with them, they’ll dodge phone calls and ignore letters. One guy took one look at the paperwork and said: “You can get the fuck out of my house.”

“You know I’m here to help, right?”

“I know. Now get the fuck out.”

About this time, you’re probably wondering, “What do you carry for protection?”

Man evolved past its primal fear of clipboards years ago.

The answer is: Nothing.

When I first started this job, I thought about getting a concealed carry permit. But most clients specifically forbid me from carrying a weapon of any kind, even mace. The reason: I’m there to collect a debt. If the debtor sees any weapon, that can be an attempt at coercion, an implied threat. You can’t threaten or coerce with physical violence as part of debt collection.

As scary as that sounds …

1

Every Weird Encounter Just Increases My Sympathy For People

Every once in a while, I’ll be talking to someone and see the newest Call Of Duty game paused on their new PS4 on their new giant-ass TV. I don’t say it, but I can’t help but think I know where at least some of that car payment went. “Comfort” purchases go up during recessions. And honestly, I don’t blame them.

Besides, nothing I say can be more hurtful than what some 13-year-old is yelling at them during multiplayer.

I used to work for little more than minimum wage, so I’ve had to play the “which bill can I let slide this month” game. When you’ve been chronically behind on bills for a while, you can’t just cut out all recreation. You’d kill yourself or go mad. Anyone who hears about debtors going out on a Friday and thinks, “they shouldn’t be spending money if they’re behind on the house” — well, they should be spending less money, perhaps, but they also need to keep themselves sane. I’d like to say I’ve learned a lot about people from looking into their homes. But the real thing I’ve learned is that you can’t truly know what’s going on in other people’s lives just from appearances, so it’s best not to judge.

And that good running shoes are always a sound investment.

Please help JSH Placie get attacked by fewer dogs. Check out his short fiction here and here. Fair warning, it’s not comedy, but it is good. Ryan Menezes is on Twitter for stuff cut from this article and other things no one should see.

Also check out 5 Disturbing New Ways Debt Collectors Are Getting Your Money and 6 Creepy Schemes Companies Use To Bury You In Debt.

Hey Cracked Podcast fans: Join Alex Schmidt, Daniel O’Brien, Katie Goldin, and our favorite LA comedians for a deep dive into which animals could conquer the world if they tried. Get your tickets here.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out Why Credit Cards Are A Scam, and other videos you won’t see on the site!

Follow us on Facebook, and we’ll follow you everywhere.

If we’ve ever made you laugh or think, we now have a way where you can thank and support us!

Make a contribution

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/im-here-to-collect-the-debt-you-owe-please-dont-kill-me/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/171213009947