#men of greendale moment
Text
every woman wanst….. a greendale dressed man……
#men of greendale moment#also re: the jeff one. I know he did indeed end up trying to mansplain manipulate manwhore his way out of that one#but it fits his attitude during the cold open at least which is when the pic is from so. booyah#community#nbc community#community nbc#jeff winger#abed nadir#troy barnes
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i feel like i never really post about britta, (which i need to fix because i love her so dearly) but something i’ve noticed is that she really is just consistently driven by and dependent on other people’s opinions about her. there are so many instances where her low self esteem, or just like, self-loathing mindset, puts her on a path to make self-destructive decisions. she has a conversation with frankie in her car in s6 that’s kind of about this, but s3 has so many obvious examples too and i just want to talk about them. so.
i feel like it really shows with the pizza guy, who appears in both 03x18 and 03x04. in remedial chaos theory: in every other timeline, britta smokes weed after being shut down by jeff when she tries to sing, as a reaction to the rejection (because, again, she is very dependent on her friends’ reactions to her.), but in the timeline 6, she’s sober, and when she goes to get the pizza, she “falls in love” with the pizza guy, who everyone else says is weird and creepy. and i feel like, surface level, it’s played off as a funny “britta hates herself has horrible taste in men” moment, but when we factor in what happens in 03x18 i think it kind of gives it more depth? or, at least seriousness.
in course listing unavailable, after everyone is expelled from greendale, spirits are DOWN big time. when abed says “britta aren’t you going to explain that every failure is also an oppurtunity?” she replies with, “whatever, i’m the worst” and shirley says “not going to argue [...].” when she goes to get the pizza, she opens the door and the same pizza guy is there, shirley says “it does seem like things couldn’t get any worse”, and they smile at eachother kinda flirtatiously. troy has his “no we have eachother!” monologue and then he turns to britta and says “and you’re not the worst, you’re the best.” then she SLAMS THE DOOR in the pizza guy’s face. very obvious example of her poor self esteem and negative headspace driving her to make self-destructive/impulsive decisions. (it also shows, again, how dependent she is on other people’s opinions. the change in mindset was really quick.)
obviously this shows with her ex-boyfriend blade, too, and like twelve billion other examples involving the men she’s attracted to. i am not a troy/britta fan at all, but i really think a big part of britta’s attraction to troy is because troy was the only person who ever expressed affection to her normally and genuinely. (ex. the text message in origins of vampire mythology.) i also think that if their relationship happened in a season that wasn’t the gas-leak year (because the characters were just so..... weird.... and exaggerated in s4), this would’ve been touched on a little bit more. anyway tldr i love britta and she’s played off as a joke most of the time, but i think theres a lot of serious depth and potential to her character that i wish we got more of.
#sorry this is NOT coherent but i made this blog to infodump and nothing can stop me#'sorry i britta-d our goodbye im the worst' 'youre the best and i love you'#is so sweet idc i love them as friends theyre everything to me#britta perry#community#nbc community#cooper talks
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Rewatching Riverdale to prepare myself for season 7. I haven't watched a single new ep past the first episode of Rivervale and have just been keeping up through Tumblr.
A couple things I noticed while re-binging /liked/disliked.
- the way the original couples got together was a sweet buildup of episodes despite what B*rchies like to claim.
Eg: Archie courting then dating Val and Veronica getting jealous, Ronnie making Archie face his fear and helping him feel safe, their sweet moments at the party, multiple stolen kisses and tiptoing to avoid hurting Betty. Over multiple episodes.
Eg 2: Jughead flirting with Betty and Betty's little "Juggie"'s, Jughead getting jealous of Betty going on a "date", them sleuthing Jason's room, sharing snacks, and Jughead comforting/protecting Betty only to ultimately and finally round up the courage to kiss her. Once again, over multiple episodes.
- A fault: They really did have these couples break up like every 3rd episode. I know that there's supposedly weeks in , but the timeline feels so messy and the makeup-breakup plot is tiring. If at least 2 out of the major 3 (BugVarChoni) were happy, that third was fucked over by something so petty or right out of left field. The first couple breakups from each party made sense, They were done to protect the other from getting hurt each time. But the rest feels like lazy writing. You can have couples fight and not just throw in the towel.
- You can't tell me that Riverdale doesn't have any magic in it. Not only did CAOS take place in RiverDALE at one point, but when Archie and Jughead go to deliver drugs in Greendale, Archie comes across a dead deer walking. Not to mention Cheryl's magic powers that show up later, but that's for another post.
- The whole "we have a gang but we are going to be lawful and awesome" thing is very cringe lmfao. They also mention the Hells Angel's once or twice about what they do for children around christmas. This is true. I'm a Canadian in Alberta and my uncles were all in the Hells Angel's when they were younger, however they also weren't some perfectly wholesome gang. They do heavy shit. The way they removed all the adults except for FP was also a weird choice, but it's probably because there's no way 40-50 year old gang bangers are going to let a 17 year old kid run the show.
- I'm in the midst of season 3 and I'm reminded at how much I hated the farm plot. The whole "Alice was working with Charles the whole time" thing feels just as thrown together rewatching it as it did when I first watched the twist.
Not to mention the hell that is sitting through Veggie Tales.
However I do wanna point out some plots I really loved to rewatch.
- Serpent!Alice Cooper/Smith. In love. The way she redeemed herself and every time was wearing snake skin was gorgeous and they look amazing on her.
- The midnight club was a great episode and plot. It was cheesy, sure, but it was interesting and made people invested in the parents for once.
- Falice felt very Romeo and Juliet. They honestly kind of remind me of Bughead now. Once incredibly in love, moved on with secrets, things left unsaid, and now no one knows their fate. They for sure would have been endgame is S.U. didn't leave the show.
- Betty's time at The Sisters of Quiet Mercy. I wasn't a fan of the gang not noticing/thinking she was at the farm, however I enjoyed it.
- Bughead and Varchie at Lodge Lodge. I want more that.
-Cheryl's coming out story. It made sense, and actually didn't really feel rushed at all. Cheryl never acted out of love or feelings until she met Toni. She tried to get something out of all the men she kissed on the show. There was never any indication that she genuinely liked any of them.
ANYWHO thats my thoughts so far without making this a million pages long.
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The Name | Harvey Kinkle x Male Reader
Fandom: The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
Pairing: Harvey kinkle x Male Reader
Summary: Harvey and M/n get a new pet and try their best to come up with a good name.
…
“What do you think this is?” M/n asked as he looked over the book on the table. Havey next to him, also looking at the box. “Maybe it’s a housewarming gift?” Harvey said with a shrug.
The two of them had moved into a new apartment in downtown Greendale. Both had wanted their own place and finally had enough money to get exactly that. Sure it might not have been the most amazing place, but it was theirs. What? They could always decorate it to look better.
Maybe that’s what Sabrina thought too. She was the one who gifted them this, well, gift. She only smirked when they asked her what it was before leaving. Now here they were. Suddenly the box shook a little. Both men looked at each other before looking back at the box. That wasn’t a good sign.
“Should we open it?” Harvey asked.
“Should we-HARVEY! Did you NOT see the box just shake?! That can’t be a good thing!”
“But Sabrina gave that to us. She wouldn’t-”
“Not on purpose. But accidents seem to follow her everywhere.” M/n said cutting Harvey off. Not that he was trying to be rude to Harvey, he didn’t want that at all. It was just…he was right! He didn’t want anything weird or bad to happen!
“You worry too much.” Harvey ignored him and continued to open up the box. M/n flinched getting prepared for whatever was to happen. “Oh man, how cute! Don’t know why she gave us this though.” M/n watched as Harvey lifted up a black and white cat from the box. “Guess we have a new pet.”
“A cat!? What are we going to do with a cat? We can barely take care of ourselves right now.” M/n said, even if the cat was so adorable. Harvey looked at him giving him puppy, or in this cas kitty eyes. “Don’t do that. Don’t give me those eyes.”
Harvey didn’t stop. “Come on. He’s just so adorable.”
“UGHHH!” M/n cried out before throwing his hands up. “Fine! We can keep him but we have to figure out how we’re going to take care of him.”
“Yeah! Yeah, we can do that! Maybe it’ll be easier if we gave him a name! How about…mr.boots!” M/n looked at Harvey with that look of disbelief. “What? You don’t like it?”
“That’s…it’s great Harv.”
“My name is actually Chad.”
Both Harvey and M/n stopped their conversation and looked towards the cat. It was just there, looking at them. Neither really knew what just happened. “Did the cat just-?”
“Talk? Yes it did.” The cat, Chad apparently, spoke.
The moment they heard the words come from his mouth both of them freaked out. Why was a cat talking!? How could a cat talk!? Oh of course, Sabrina! That explains a lot actually. They shouldn’t be surprised by this honestly.
“Okay…okay…so you can talk. And your name is Chad?” M/n asked the cat slowly.
The cat sighed. “You know I might not have been the best student but I’m not stupid. Yes, I can talk. Yes, my name is Chad. Short explanation, I used to be a man and dated a warlock and well…now I’m this.”
“Ugh huh.” M/n said nodding his head before looking back to Harvey. His boyfriend was looking sheepishly at him. “Still think he’s cute?”
Harvey smirked at him and shrugged. “I mean…he still needs a home.”
M/n let out a long sigh after that. His life just kept getting stranger and stranger.
#caos#the chilling adventures of sabrina#chilling adventures of sabrina#harvey kinkle#x male reader#x male!reader#male reader#male!reader#imagines#male reader imagine#male reader imagines
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The Setup
Abed Nadir x reader
Masterlist
Word count: 1,029
A/N: I haven’t written for Community in a long time, but I’m excited to get back into it! I’m planning on a part two for this, so that will be up soon!
You could swear the world just loved to torture you. In addition to the fact that you were unbearably awkward with every new person you met, you had discovered from a fairly young age that you could only really relate to people through the books you read. It made community college rough, but you just kept your head down and turned in assignments without a word to the professors. That worked pretty well for you until the study group got involved.
Abed had always taken an interest in you, but never felt any need to comment on it. The only reason it was brought up at all was because Pierce had been giving Abed and Troy a hard time about how much time they spent together and questioned if either of them even noticed anyone else. This prompted both young men to agree to share the names of girls they’d noticed on campus, if only to get the miserable old man to leave them alone.
When Britta recognized your name from an English class you both took, she shared a conspiring look with Shirley and Annie, then started plotting to get you together. Britta began by trying to simply start a conversation with you. This was less than successful.
You’d quickly packed up your messenger bag at the end of class and headed for the door when you looked up and found Britta looking at you with a strange expression.
“Hey, Y/N.”
“Um… hi? Britta, right?”
“Yeah! Are you single by chance?”
You stared blankly at her and gripped your book tighter, as if holding it close would tell her what she needed to know.
“How would you feel about being set up with a friend of mine? He’s a bit of an acquired taste, but I think you two would make a really cute couple. If you want-”
Britta stopped talking when she realized you’d taken off. She furrowed her brow in confusion and tried to make sense of why you would run away. After a moment, she decided to catch up with Annie and Shirley. They all tried to come up with an answer, but nothing good came to mind.
“What are the chances that she knows Abed already? It’s not like she was so horrified by the thought of being set up with him that she just ran off.”
“I doubt it. Honestly, I’ve never seen her actually talking to any of our classmates. Maybe she’s just shy.”
The girls were never ones to give up when it was reasonable, so they decided to try to bring you into the social world, no matter what it took to get you there. Their next attempt meant cornering you in the library when you were returning a stack of books and picking out new ones. Annie tried next, offering a disarming smile Jeff always complained about and offering to help you carry the books to the front desk to check them out.
She didn’t take as direct an approach as Britta had, simply asking about the books you’d chosen and why. You quickly launched into a short explanation of your thought process, having determined when you came to Greendale that you wanted to work through the whole library genre by genre. You had already read through more than a dozen mystery novels and now had eight more from your list. Annie was impressed and made sure to tell you so, but you didn’t quite seem to see that she was being genuine.
“Sorry I’m rambling, I just get really excited about books. I’m sure you have other things to be doing right now.”
“Not at all. I’m happy to help you and hear about your plans. It’s refreshing to hear a student at Greendale with goals this place can’t squash.”
You laughed softly at the comment and nodded in agreement. Once you reached the front desk, Annie set your books down and pulled out her phone to text Britta and Shirley while you checked out the whole stack. You didn’t notice Annie furiously typing away, trying to tell her friends as quickly as possible that she had more information to better formulate a plan.
When you got the books back to your dorm, Annie gave a friendly little wave and left. Knowing where your dorm was would undoubtedly prove useful later. While you settled on your little couch and cracked open the first book on the stack, Annie met up with Britta and Shirley to discuss you.
“She’s really sweet.”
“But she hardly talks.”
Britta was still a little bummed that you had no desire to talk to her, refusing to admit that she had been incredibly blunt the first time.
“She talks about books! And books are just movies that play in your head instead of on a screen. She and Abed would have plenty to talk about.”
Annie was sure that if you were so interested in learning more about each genre of entertainment, then Abed would be a prime source of information.
“Assuming they would actually interact. Abed said he’s just seen her around; they don’t even have a class together.”
“Oh, that’s okay. Maybe Annie can convince her to take a class together that Abed just so happens to be in as well.”
Annie held up a hand to stop Shirley’s suggestion.
“I don’t know if I could do that. I had one conversation with her and she’s nice, but I wouldn’t call us friends yet. And it feels wrong to try to befriend her just so we can set her up with our other friend.”
Britta raised her hand as if to volunteer for the job and Annie knew she couldn’t stop the train now that it had left the station. For two weeks, Britta walked out of class with you every day and tried to start conversations with you. She and Shirley found you at lunch at least three times each week and Annie even gave you her number with an offer to discuss books if you were interested. None of them recognized that you were slowly losing your mind from their forced friendship, but they would find out soon enough.
#community x reader#abed x reader#abed nadir x reader#reader insert#female reader#my writing#haven writes
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Why I think Annie’s a lesbian
I find it so interesting that some people don’t think Annie is a lesbian. To me it seems so glaringly obvious, but I guess that’s from the perspective of another lesbian. So I thought I’d write some of the reasons here.
Annie’s obsession with Jeff, but lack of willingness to date him. This is something I’ve always found really weird. She spends so much of the show pining after Jeff, but then she turns around and says things like “nobody sleeps with Jeff! not even me!”. And when it’s clear Jeff likes her back at the end of the show, she almost seems to lose interest. Sort of like it’s a cover, whether intentional or not.
The same thing happened with Troy. Annie obsessed over Troy for years in high school, but the second he liked her back, she lost interest. Troy was to Annie in high school what Jeff was to her at Greendale - a beard of sorts.
Never dating guys. This is kind of a follow up from my last two points. Apart from her thing with Vaughn in season 1, Annie never dates anyone, despite flirting with quite a lot of men.
Pretty apparent attraction to Britta. Romantic Expressionism, Early 21st Century Romanticism, etc. Obviously a lot of these moments are jokes, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are still reflections of Annie and Britta’s emotions. In fact, Annie’s crush on Jeff is also mostly shown through humour. Community is a sitcom, of course the feelings of the characters will be largely relayed in jokes.
Annie dated a closeted gay guy in high school. Closeted gay kids tend to group together. It’s also not uncommon for gay people to be each other’s beards. When Annie talks about the time she slept with him in The Politics of Human Sexuality (S01E11) she mentions that he didn’t like it too much, but from how she talked about it, she probably didn’t like it that much either.
Her conversation Annie has with Britta at the end of The Psychology of Letting Go (S02E03). This might be a little specific, and probably not an event that a lot of people remember with too much clarity, but in it, both of them literally admit that they were faking their attraction to Jeff for each other’s approval. (Annie says she only kissed Jeff to see if she could, to be “cool and sexy” like Britta. Britta says she slept with Jeff because she “hates herself”.) The conversation ends with them both saying “men are gross”. Holy shit, that is the most queer-coded thing I’ve ever seen.
Sometimes shows disgust/distaste for men (whether their behaviour or appearances). “Giant thumb in a turtleneck!”
“I’m perfectly comfortable being uncomfortable in my sexuality.” That’s it. Literally just that quote.
#community#nbc#nbc community#annie edison#lesbian annie#lesbian annie edison#brittannie#britta x annie#annie x britta#lgbt headcanons#headcanons#community headcanons#greendale#greendale community college#analysis
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intro to valentines
I really wanted to finish this episode-style Valentine’s Day fic by tomorrow but that’s NOT going to happen, especially because I wrote the last scenes first and now have no incentive to write whatever leads up to it. But I liked the end scene and wanted to share it because idk holiday spirit and trobed love and all that <3
General plot idea (none of which is actually in this scene lol): Abed is chock-full of grand gestures for Valentine’s Day but has no date, so Shirley and Annie set out to find him one. Jeff demands Abed tell him how he’s so good at wooing women (and men, for that matter), and Abed gives him all his grand ideas for the holiday. Troy is weirdly, inexplicably livid at the idea of Abed getting a date for the holiday, and Britta helps him work through his feelings.
MUSIC CUE: “Greendale Is Where I Belong” by Ludwig Goransson
Troy approaches Abed, hands in his pocket and posture stiff. He smiles nervously.
TROY
Hey.
ABED (equally nervous, hands fidgeting at his side)
Hey.
TROY
So...that valentine was pretty cool.
(beat)
Was it supposed to look like one of those giant valentines you always see in cartoons? Because -
ABED
(knowing exactly what Troy is going to say)
Because you love when things look the way they look in cartoons, yeah.
TROY (smile growing)
Yeah, I do.
The boys smile at each other for a moment before Troy glances down, shuffling his feet.
TROY
So I, uh...I never really had a Valentine before.
ABED
Neither have I. And TV holiday specials usually end with the acquisition of the Valentine, so I don’t really have a script for what comes after this part.
(He pauses for a beat, then, more quietly:)
But I really like you, Troy.
TROY (a soft, looking-at-Abed expression on his face)
You do?
Abed smiles and nods.
TROY (quietly)
I’ve never dated a guy before.
ABED
I know.
TROY (after a deep breath)
But if there’s anyone I trust to be my first boyfriend, it’s you.
ABED (eyes wide)
You want to be boyfriends?
TROY (foot in his mouth)
Uh, no!? Not if you don’t want that! Did I say boyfriend? I meant, uh, koi friend. Like, we could be friends that just chill out by koi ponds together, and -
Abed puts a hand on Troy’s shoulder comfortingly. Troy visibly relaxes.
ABED
Troy. I really, really want to be your boyfriend. It’s why I orchestrated this whole thing.
Troy gestures to where Jeff is frantically lighting a fuse that connects to his entire firework display.
TROY
So the whole firework show...even though Jeff is setting it up now, that’s still for me?
Abed looks over his shoulder, as if surprised to find the rest of the study group still there.
ABED
Oh, that? No, I think that’s going to be a total trainwreck. I’m not sure those fireworks are even legal.
TROY (eyes wide)
What!? Then why did you give them to Jeff!?
ABED
Because I needed everyone to be distracted so I could do this.
Behind them, Jeff’s fireworks erupt in a cacophonous, disastrous-sounding symphony. Onlookers wince and cover their ears. One misfiring firework veers sideways and launches itself directly into a garbage can, the contents of which immediately burst into flames. Jeff runs to the garbage can, panicked, while Britta doubles over in laughter, Shirley’s hands cover her mouth in horror, and Annie shrieks. The onlookers are in various states of disarray, some calling 911, some screaming for help, some running toward or away from the fire in panic.
In the midst of the pandemonium, while everyone is distracted, Abed gently cups Troy’s face in his hand and leans in to kiss him softly. Troy gasps, then melts into the kiss, his hands coming up to grip Abed’s arms. After a moment, Abed pulls away.
TROY (eyes even wider now)
Woah.
ABED (smiling, almost in disbelief)
Yeah.
(beat)
Before, when you said first boyfriend, is that because you’re already planning on having more boyfriends in the future, or -
TROY (emphatically)
Uh, absolutely not, you can be my forever boyfriend if you’re going to kiss me like that again. That was awesome.
Abed smiles wider and pulls Troy close for an even deeper kiss. When he pulls away, Troy is looking at him like Abed put the stars in the sky just for him.
ABED
Want to go watch movies and probably make out a lot?
TROY
Get out of my brain, dude. That sounds amazing.
They perform their handshake, then Abed grabs Troy’s hand with a shy smile. Troy looks nervous, but then grins and nods. They walk toward Abed’s dorm, away from the pandemonium in front of the library, hand in hand.
END TAG
Troy and Abed are sitting next to each other on a couch in the library, just as they are in the end tag of “Spanish 101” (season 1 episode 2). Abed beatboxes and taps out a rhythm on his textbook with his pencil.
TROY (rapping)
¿Dónde está la biblioteca? Me llamo T-Bone, la araña discoteca.
Cut to: Jeff, Shirley, Annie and Britta are watching. Shirley looks bewildered, Britta looks bored, Annie taps her foot impatiently and Jeff checks his watch.
BRITTA
Come on, guys, is this really what you wanted to show us?
JEFF
Yeah, we’ve heard this stupid rap already.
(Troy and Abed ignore their friends and continue rapping.)
The rap ends. Instead of waiting for applause, Troy and Abed just grin at each other and lean in. Abed grab’s the back of Troy’s neck and pulls him in for a loud smack of a kiss.
SHIRLEY
Oh, Lord have mercy…
BRITTA (laughing in disbelief)
Woah!
ANNIE (gasping)
Do you mean you two -
JEFF (with a shit-eating grin)
Well, I’ll be damned.
Abed smiles at the group. Troy can’t pull his heart-eyes away from Abed.
SHIRLEY
Well, you two better treat each other right, you hear me? I’ll kick both your asses if you do anything to hurt each other.
JEFF
Shirley, look at them. I think they’re gonna be fine.
Troy slips his hand into Abed’s, while Abed’s smile grows.
ABED
Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody.
FADE OUT.
#trobed#troy barnes#abed nadir#trobed fic#troy and abed#valentine's day fic#does this replace season 1 valentine's day dance? or season 2? who knows#i just think they're neat and troy should get a valentine the size of a small child#long post#also im sorry if you're on mobile the formatting is fucked lol
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Madam Spellman May 2021 Masterlist
Week One: Fake Engagement
Adventures with the Sawyers by TechnicolorMagicWoman (bymak)
Finding Zelda's despise of PDAs, Lilith embraced her from the middle bringing her close. Her eyes twinkling with merriment that was easily confused with love. // "Isn't she utterly right, love?" she said, pecking Zelda's cheek and then cleaning with the pad of her thumb the red remainders of her lipstick. // And the eldest of the Spellman's thought, that having brought Ms. Wardwell to keep herself from killing the mortals wouldn't stop her from killing the woman. What would they think if she killed her fiancee? // "Completely right, darling."
by any other name by Singofsolace
When Zelda Spellman wakes up in a hospital bed with no memory of what happened to her, a strange woman posing as her fiancé fills in the missing details.
High Standards by viva_smoke
Set after the end of Part 2 because... simpler times. As for what this is... I don't know. Just word vomit. Is it crack or just bad writing? Who can say....
Week Two: Mistaken Identity
a rope down to hell by Singofsolace
Zelda Spellman had always known she would marry for power and wealth, not love. But the night before her wedding, when she is forced to take part in a terrible tradition, she runs away and takes sanctuary in an abandoned church. There, she's surprised to find Mary Wardwell--or rather, the woman she believes to be Mary Wardwell.
Together, they plan their revenge on the men who have wronged them.
Week Three: Runaway Bride
I'm running with the wolves by LilithFeminaPrima
They were slowly walking up to the altar, with synchronized steps, where Faustus Blackwood was waiting for his gorgeous bride-to-be, a disgustingly proud grin on his thin lips. This was her wedding day. She was walking down the aisle, each step more torturous than the previous. She was walking – it felt like a funeral march.
The Primrose Path by CallmeCordelia
Zelda Spellman's course is set. She will marry the powerful Lord Blackwood and secure her family's place in high society. Aboard the RMS Olympic, she crosses paths with an intriguing woman who tempts her to take another path.
The More I Owe You by madamnovelist
Seattle, WA. For two entirely different reasons, two brides ditch their wedding ceremonies and find themselves sitting side by side in the most peculiar bar in town.
The Most Loyal by LaMarwy
Upon the eve of her wedding, Zelda finds herself uncertain, so she decides to ask Lilith for advice. The demoness answers the call, and submits a proposal of her own.
The Power of Goodbye by TechnicolorMagicWoman (bymak)
It's her wedding day, and she must answer the question. What would Ms. Wardwell do?
Witches and bitches by Vampyra
Hilda and Zelda Spellman own a pastry shop and 2 newcomers in town want a wedding cake.
Week Four: Romance
The Garden of Earthly Delights by DepravityReigns
A stressed out Zelda employs laidback Lilith to landscape her property, soon it'll be more than just the garden being seen to!
True Colors by madamnovelist
"The one-night-stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life." Manhattan. Zelda Spellman is a hotshot lawyer and Lilith is a sharp bartender. They meet, they have sex, they start dating. But Zelda goes to work when Lilith is home, and in one day, Zelda makes the money Lilith makes in a week. Can their relationship work?
~~~
@leatherglovesandbutterflyknives made a lovely post! Check it out!
Link to Tumblr post
Lilith’s eyes fluttered open as she became aware of something tickling her nose. Light was spilling in through the curtains and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust.
It turned out that the tickling was caused by the same thing that was keeping her warm and pinning her in one place.
Zelda Spellman, High Priestess and Directrix, one of the most powerful witches Lilith had ever come across, was cuddling her.
Week Five: Fluff
Closer by madamnovelist
Summary: In an alternative course of events, the pandemic takes over when Mary and Zelda have been dating for a couple of months, and Mary asks her to move in with her to spend quarantine together.
It's a Hate Thing by seriousoncer
“How about a kiss?”
Zelda frowns. “How is that going to fix anything?”
Lilith’s gaze drops to Zelda’s lips. “You can’t get married if you’re already seeing someone, can you? And you’ll be able to show your ex-husband that you’ve moved on. It’s the perfect solution.”
Or, Zelda has an unfortunate run-in with her sister's wedding planner.
life's an elevator (just make sure you get off on the right floor) by seriousoncer
“The emergency button didn’t work, either,” Zelda said tensely. "I was trapped in there for hours.”
Lilith grinned mischievously. “Eh… I don’t think it was hours."
“One hour, then,” she corrected.
“Zelda, it’s been precisely eleven minutes since the alarm started.”
Or, Zelda decides to write a bucket list after a near-death experience, involving an elevator, a gas leak, and Lilith.
The Siren's Song by Stargazer_01 for BadWitchOfTadfield
For Madam Spellman May, and for a certain siren I know. Partly inspired by Michelle's beach pic.
Turning Page by KatyaTrixie
Professor Zelda Spellman: frustrated writer meets Mary Wardwell: burgeoning poet Zelda teaches a creative writing class at Greendale Community College. Mary is a student who has something she can help her teacher learn.
You may call me Mary by LilithFeminaPrima
A glimpse into Zelda and Mary's blossoming friendship.
Set in the universe of Some Things Never Change
New submissions to the 2020 Challenge:
Bad Blood by badmoonwardwell
Or the x files au that nobody asked for
"Spellman, you're not gonna believe this."
Lilith Demos marched into their basement office, her cheerness already getting under her co-worker's skin.
"Fuck you, Demos." The woman said with a sigh, knowing very well that that phrase was never followed by a reasonable statement.
Lilith then stopped and stared at her, one would think she was offended – the ginger sincerely hoped so.
Many thanks to everyone who participated in Madam Spellman May! <3
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community wild west au
okay, it’s a bit different from what i posted in the rough draft of ideas thing, but here it is!! this is part one, bc i think the whole thing is gonna end up longer than i thought lol
Annie knew she couldn’t stay here forever. It was a small town, and she always knew, somewhere deep down, that she would move on to bigger things someday. But that didn’t make it easier to be forced to leave. This was all she had ever known- playing kick the can with the younger children of her father’s patients while they got their medications, playing dress up with her mother, beating the dust out of their clothes during windy season with her brother. She knew she had to face the truth. She wasn’t welcome here anymore. If she had just known when to quit, she wouldn’t be in this situation... that’s what she beat herself up on while she silently bagged the cheese and apples her mother had paid good money for. If she wasn’t such a petty child, she could have stayed here forever... that’s what she thought while she stole the medication from her father’s office that could have helped so many people. But it was too late now, she thought as she reached the town’s limits, just before sunrise, wearing a form fitting vest given to her by her mother for her 18th birthday, taking on last look at the life she lost.
Troy never cried. That’s what he told himself, anyway, tilting his hat so that Abed wouldn’t be able to see his face. But looking at that poor horse, wincing in pain as Abed cleaned his wounds made a tear run a path down his dusty cheek. Abed was gentle with the animal, of course. Troy’s boyfriend would never ever hurt anyone, regardless of what the townsfolk used to whisper behind Abed’s back. Troy felt a flame in his stomach just thinking about them. And how terribly they always treated Abed. They were gone now, just memories of the past. Troy was free; that’s all he ever wanted.
Abed wondered where this horse had come from and how he gotten hurt as he gingerly wrapped his bright red bandanna around the horse’s front leg. It was almost the same color as the blood dripping rhythmically into the dirt. He glanced up at Troy standing a few feet away from where he was kneeling by the light brown horse. He could tell he was trying and failing to control his deep emotions, something Abed never had much trouble with. This horse represented Troy in a way, he thought. A little bit in pain, but nothing he couldn’t fix. Abed never expected to “fall” for his best friend. Especially since he didn’t fall in love- more like slowly slid into it. Drawing his attention away from Troy’s face, solemn yet “ruggedly handsome”, as the women in town would say, he realized that when the horse was healed, he would long to run again. To be free. But Abed was already rather attached to the poor thing. He wanted to see if he could bond with him so that the horse could have a way to survive and Troy and Abed wouldn’t have to continue their journey on foot. But would the horse ever outgrow their relationship? What would happen to Abed if this horse one day grew dissatisfied with his life, even though Abed had become reliant on him? He pushed the insecure questions out of his head and instead gave the horse some water to drink from his canteen, to try and gain his trust.
There wasn’t supposed to be any run ins on the way to Annie’s grandma’s house in Greendale County, a few towns over. She had heard stories of the people who would be on these kind of roads. Bandits, thugs- people who Annie didn’t have much experience with in her sheltered life back in town. But when she saw two figures and a horse laying on the ground, she knew she had to keep going, even if it killed her. This was the only way to get to Greendale where, hopefully she could stay- maybe even get a job and start her new life. With that hope in mind, she trudged on under the hot sun. She was tiring quick. She clearly didn’t know what she was getting herself into when she left, just hours ago. But she had no choice. Who knew, maybe these strangers could help her get to Greendale.
Troy and Abed exchanged a glance as the strange girl explained her situation.
“My father is a doctor, that’s why I have all these medications, I’m bringing them to Greendale,” Annie lied, fluttering her eyes, trying to look innocent. “But a few miles back, I crossed paths with some bandits! Th-they stole my dear horse, Ruthie and if you could spare just, just a few-“ Then she cut herself off, throwing in some tears for effect, really pouring in what her mother would call, “the sugar and honey”. Anybody you met would take pity on a sad sight like that, with her doe eyes and quivering lip.
“Look, ma’am, we don’t have any extra money, just barely enough for ourselves,” Troy told her. “Surely a girl like you could run those meds back to your daddy without any difficulty.” It was true that they had nothing to spare, but the girl didn’t have much to her and Troy felt a pang in his heart as he turned away from her and to the horse.
“No, you don’t understand! I need to get to Greendale!” Annie pleaded. She was only a day into her journey and her feet were throbbing in her boots, her throat dry.
“I’m sorry. I wish we could help you, but we have other things on our plate right now,” Abed said in his usual monotone voice (that didn’t make him sound very sorry, Annie thought), gesturing to the horse Troy was petting reassuringly.
“I-I can help your horse! How about a deal? You take me to Greendale, and I’ll help your horse,”she said. Troy perked up and glanced at Abed.
“An intriguing offer,” Troy murmured to himself.
“How would you help him?” Abed wondered aloud. The horse was looking worse by the minute.
“The medications! It works for people, it must work for horses, too, right?” she said, not even bothering to hide the desperation in her voice as her head pounded from dehydration.
“I thought that was for the people in Greendale,” said Troy.
“They... they don’t need it that bad,” Annie stammered, caught in a lie. The truth was she had hoped to sell the meds on the way to buy some food, but striking up a deal would work even better. Troy and Abed looked at each other, seemingly reading each other’s mind. The girl was obviously lying about why she needed to get to Greendale. Annie cleared her throat, bringing their attention back to her.
“Give us a minute to discuss it,” Abed told her. The men walked over to where they had dropped their supplies- sleeping bags, water, and food- leaving Annie with the horse.
“She’s desperate,” Troy said.
“She’s lying” Abed replies.
“We can’t push her; if she doesn’t want to tell us why she’s going to Greendale, we can’t make her.” Troy knew what it was like to want to shut down from the outside. Abed considered this for a moment.
“Okay. If you trust her, I’m with you. We were going that way, anyway. Plus, the horse needs help.” Troy grinned. He went on his tiptoes to kiss Abed’s cheek. He smiled at him.
“Thank you Abed,” Troy said, in that tender voice that Abed slid into love with.
“Let’s bring her some water, she looks like she’s going to pass out any second.”
Thanks for reading!! Reblogs are appreciated if you enjoyed it! Part two will be where they meet the rest of the group so stay tuned!!
(thanks for the inspiration @understandably-odd!!!)
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Found your Shirley posts and holy crap this fandom needs more Shirley content and I love you for giving it to us
Omg thank you, man. I totally know what you mean. Shirley is an underrated character and I'm not going to say why she isn't everyone's favorite, but I think we both know the answer...
I was watching a video about Community and the dude in the video actually said that he liked Pierce more than Shirley and my fight or flight instinct was triggered. He was saying that Shirley was prejudiced in like an insidious way and I just wanted to slap him upside the head, because this dude did not add in the fact that Shirley was a black woman or the culture of Christian churches in black communities or the fact that Shirley was a black woman character in the early 2000's with basically no real character development given to her, he talked about the characters as if they were real people instead of characters being controlled by writers. But his point was that Pierce actually showed growth from his prejudices, but he mentioned nothing about Shirley's character development (granted there wasn't much).
In all honestly though I can't blame him too much, because it's clear that the actual text of the show liked Pierce more than it liked Shirley, however that's also because the show was made in the early 2000's and probably not a single person in the writer's room knew how to write for a black woman character especially an overweight mom (they also didn't really know how to write for any other characters other than Jeff and Pierce but that's a whole other story).
I just love Shirley so much and she deserves so much more hype, like everytime she was in the spotlight in an episode she was the most badass and the best character of all the study group. She was always the strongest personality and character wise to me and even when she was delegated to the sidelines she still shined through. I wish she had gotten more emotional character development, because she honestly deserved it, but I also know that Dan Harmon would not have any idea where to begin giving a black woman an emotional arc which is why the only characters ever given really good emotional arcs were the two white men. But I also think there's so much to Shirley's story left unsaid and unresolved and I want those lose ends to be tied up, plus she never really had any moments with the study group outside of school and she deserved to have a life outside of Greendale that wasn't just her kids we saw twice and her husband she could do better than. Idk, man, Shirley Bennett deserved better from the show and from the fans that's all I gotta say
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Principle Decisions [1/24]
Rating: Explicit
Pairing: Lilith/Zelda Spellman
Summary: Zelda couldn’t look away from the words as she touched over the embossed typography.
Lilith
Dominatrix
N.B.: Also posted on AO3. This is pure fantasy, please suspend your disbelief.
She fingered the card, drawing her nail over its edges. It had an entirely over the top design, with a bright red background and black lettering. Despite how over-the-top she felt the graphic design was, Zelda couldn’t look away from the words as she touched over the embossed typography.
Lilith
Dominatrix
As if it had burned her, she dropped the card on her desk. On its back, the card presented the phone number and email address of the woman. Terribly gauche: [email protected].
The business card––if you could even call it that––had been slipped out of the jacket of a new book she’d purchased, and since her discovery of it, Zelda’s eyes had been drawn to it, a strange temptation pulling at her.
She’d only bought the book as a way to offer an olive branch to Hilda. If her sister weren’t so terribly awkward around any mention of sex, she would have wondered if she had been the one to slip the card into the book. No, likely the so-called dominatrix had wandered through the shop and decided that the newest bestseller would be an excellent place to advertise her business.
The sheer gall of the woman.
It had been some time since she’d engaged in any sexual relationship. Since Edward’s passing, Zelda’s world had been entirely taken up with raising Sabrina. Hilda had helped, of course, given that she was the original caretaker of Ambrose––but the bulk of Sabrina’s raising rested on her shoulders. Between that and balancing her work at the Academy, Zelda had little time to date.
And in the few times, she did date she would inevitably end up exhausted by the need to care for someone’s emotional needs on top of her family and usually wound up requesting that they never see each other again.
At least if she engaged with a sex worker, she wouldn’t have that issue.
A knock came at the door of her office, pulling her from her thoughts.
“One moment,” Zelda said, before taking the card and hastily set in the drawer of her desk. She should throw it away into the wastepaper bin, tear it up into pieces, and yet she found herself pushing the drawer shut, feeling a strange temptation dim but not entirely die away. “Come in,” she called.
The door pushed open, and her niece stood in the doorframe, bag slung over her shoulder as she stepped into the room. “How was work?”
“Busy,” Zelda sighed, rising from her chair. “How was school?”
“Fine.”
“Nothing happened, today?” Zelda inquired.
“Well,” Sabrina began, bouncing on the heels of her shoes. “Principle Wardwell did go on a warpath against Coach Craven. That was pretty cool.”
“Wardwell? Isn’t Hawthorne the principle there?”
“No, he left over Summer. It was in the news bulletin.”
Zelda rolled her eyes as if she cared to read that. The PTA and Parent-Teacher nights had always been Hilda’s realm of experience. There were limited choices of schooling in the area, and Baxter High had more students going off college than Riverdale. And like hell, she was sending Sabrina off to some boarding school as her parents had done with her, Edward and Hilda.
Collecting her day planner and unmarked essays, she began sliding them into her bag as she asked, “so why did your new Principle go on an alleged war party?”
“Craven said that Theo couldn’t join the men’s football team. So Roz and I complained to Wardwell, and she stormed off and immediately told him off in the middle of try-outs. It was…pretty awesome actually.”
“It’s definitely a way to make enemies,” Zelda said. “Take it from me, Sabrina. Public humiliation may force someone to obey for the moment, but they’ll look for any opportunity to enact their revenge.”
Sabrina’s lips pressed shut, her excitement dying. “I thought it was pretty great, actually. He should be called out for his actions.”
“And the best place to do that is in a formal setting,” Zelda said as she switched off the office light. Stepping into the hall, she drew the door shut and locked the door. “In a position of leadership, especially one so newly forged, it’s better to think about the long term effects of a stable work environment. Sowing discord will only turn the other teachers against her.”
“Well, the students love her,” Sabrina pointed out defiantly, missing the point.
With a sigh, Zelda drew up and rolled her shoulders. Her niece was sixteen, thinking the whole world revolved around her. Students came and went, but the teachers would remain, and if Principle Wardwell wanted to keep her job, it would be in her interest to make friends with the staff.
“How did your classes go?” she asked, deferring to a safe topic as they walked out of the university’s grounds to the parking lot. Sabrina began babbling beside her, discussing her recent marks in English and History, the study group she’d formed and then quietly toeing away from discussion of one particular class.
“Didn’t you have an exam for French today?”
Sabrina flushed, fiddling with her bag. “I…passed.”
Zelda paused, turning to look at her niece directly. “Define a pass.”
“C plus?”
Zelda bit back the flared anger as she pressed her lips together, watching as Sabrina squirmed under her scrutiny. “Perhaps I should switch to speaking French at home, then?”
“No, I hate it when you do that. Look, it barely makes up my grade, I’ll fix it up with the essay at the end of the month, and then I’ll be back to being an A-minus student.”
“Yes, well, unless you want your allowance to drop—“
“Come on! That’s hardly fair. It’s not like we live in France. I don’t even see the point in why I have to take this stupid class. ”
“Language is important, Sabrina. When you travel, you can’t just go around assuming everyone speaks English. By your age, I already spoke Italian and French fluently. By my twenties, I’d learnt Mandarin, German and Latin. Now, there are few languages that I don’t speak in one dialect or another.”
“I know, but…I don’t even know if I want to travel.”
“Of course you do,” Zelda said. “Everyone travels, or you’ll end up like your Aunt Hilda, working in a bookshop with no idea of how the world works.”
Sabrina went quiet as they arrived at the car. She climbed into the passenger seat, drawing her bag into her lap and buckled her seatbelt with a stony face.
Zelda drew in a breath, setting her own bag on the backseat before sitting down into the driver’s seat. Sabrina had always been soft for Hilda, defending her against Zelda any time she made a sniping comment towards her.
Perhaps the comment had been a little harsh. Only last night had the three of them broke out in an argument after Hilda advised that she would be permanently working at Cerberus Books and not just ‘helping out’ as she initially advised. Honestly, a retail assistant? Hilda had as fine an education as she had, and now Zelda was an academic, teaching at Greendale University, and Hilda…worked in a bookshop.
Not to mention the sudden talks of her moving out. Ambrose was still at university, in his final year of his masters, and Sabrina still had another year and a half before she was off, flying around the world before she settled on a college.
Leave? Unlikely. It was an empty threat Hilda proposed to hurt her.
They drove home in silence, with Sabrina’s growing bad mood taking up the space of the car. By the time that they arrived home. Sabrina didn’t even wait for the engine to switch off before she was unbuckling her seatbelt and running up the steps of the house.
Zelda paused, watching her niece push open the front door, likely to remain hidden in her room until summoned for dinner. She considered following up the stairs to Sabrina’s room and advising of how unacceptable her actions were, and yet the day felt heavy on her shoulders. She didn’t want another argument with Sabrina.
She didn’t want another argument. If Hilda would stop being so selfish, they could actually take the time to raise the children.
Stepping out of the car, she pulled out her bag from the backseat and then locked the doors behind her––not that it really mattered, they were so far out from any neighbours that there was a more pressing concern for a bear to get into the car, rather than a burglar.
She passed Ambrose sitting on the veranda, a book of poetry in grip and a glass of wine sitting next to him (in a tumbler, which she did take offence to, they owned perfectly suitable wine glasses).
“Auntie,” he greeted, looking up from the book. “How fairs the undergrads?”
“Fine,” she remarked. “I had the pleasure of seeing Prudence today.”
“Oh?” he remarked casually. “I had thought she’d have dropped out by now.”
“She asked about you.”
Ambrose seemed to pause, biting on the inside of his cheek before he gave a strained smile. “And should I go running into her arms again because she inquired as to how I was going?”
Zelda stared at him and watched as his face flushed with embarrassment.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”
“Don’t apologise when you don’t mean it, or learn to lie better.” She paused, watching guilt wash over his face. “You should speak to her. At the very least it might bring you the much-needed closure you require to move on.” Before he could say anything further, she brushed past him, entering into the foyer of the home.
A door slammed upstairs, signalling her niece’s growing foul mood. But unlike Ambrose, who often drowned the house with music to signal his moods, a stillness followed the slammed door.
Her eyes drew up to the stairs, a part of her wanted to seek out Sabrina and apologise before she snuffed out the very desire to do so. Instead, she drew to her home office and set her bag down, drawing out her computer and essays, preparing herself for evening work to be completed after dinner.
Drawing into the kitchen, she noticed that Hilda was already at the stove, stirring around what looked to be onion and mince. At the same time, she had an assortment of diced vegetables running on another element beside it.
“Evening, sister.”
“Oh! Zelds. I thought it was you.”
“Who else would it be?” she asked, going to the cupboards to pull out the dishes. Usually, it was Sabrina’s job to set the table for dinner, but she could wash up and dry the dishes after dinner, given her impetuous mood.
“Oh, well…” Hilda spluttered, before turning to look over her shoulder. “So, what did you think of Doctor Cee’s little shop? Quite the business, hm? And the café has been busy of late!”
Zelda bit her tongue to stop the first thoughts she had from coming out. She set down the plates before looking at her sister and catching the hesitation.
“It’s…good that you’re happy,” she said, feeling other words rise in the back of her throat. She swallowed them back and smiled at her sister, hoping it came across genuine enough.
Hilda returned the smile, and it was enough to unknot the growing anxiety in her chest. Perhaps they could make it through dinner without another argument. “And have you given the book a look, yet? It’s flying out of the store lately. A real page-turner.”
Zelda gave a small nod. She’d got as far as the first page before the card had slid out onto her desk.
Swallowing, she tucked a wayward curl behind her ear, trying to not think of the words.
Dominatrix. She shivered, remembering what it was like to feel rope twist around her hands.
In her early twenties, she’d engaged in an assortment of different forms of BDSM with different partners, both on the receiving and giving end. And yet something about that embossed lettering brought a flicker to a long lost flame inside of her.
It had been…a long time—at least two years since she’d engaged in anything other than masturbation. The dating pool in Greendale and Riverdale was small enough that, inevitably, everyone knew everyone––and given her position, casual sex would only lead to complications. The last thing she needed was another man at her office, begging for a date.
Or a woman leading insistent voicemails on the landline.
But a dominatrix would be discreet. And it would just be an itch, after all.
A part of her worried. It could be a student she’d taught, trying to make extra money to pay for their education. Or it could be a number of acquaintances––someone from the board?
It could be Shirley. That thought sent a cold feeling down her spine.
“Zelds?”
She looked up, realising her sister had asked her a question. “Pardon?”
“I was just asking if you started the book.”
“Oh, just the first few pages. I’ll get to it on the weekend.”
Hilda squinted at her before stepping forward. “You’re looking a little flushed. You’re not coming down with the flu, are you? You’re always working yourself sick.”
“I’m fine,” she said, stepping away from her sister. “I’ll go tell Ambrose and Sabrina to wash-up, shall I?”
“Oh, yes, I suppose dinner will be made in a moment.”
____________
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The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter - Monday, August 23rd
Ms. Calendar: (to Buffy and Xander) You're here again? Kids really dig the library, don't you?
Buffy: We're literary!
Xander: To read makes our speaking English good.
~~I Robot, You Jane~~
[Drabbles & Short Fiction]
Old Names With New Faces (Buffy, Star Trek crossover, T) by Jedi Buttercup
Her Type (Oz, X-Men crossover, FR-13) by mmooch
Reverse Interrogation (Giles, Yakuza crossover, T) by madimpossibledreamer
i wanna hurry home to you (put on a slow dumb show for you) (Buffy/Faith, not rated) by Anonymous
Say Please (Buffy/Spike, E) by butch4butches
Her Type (Oz, X-Men crossover, T) by mmooch
Red against Three (Buffy, The Trio, Smallville crossover, T) by Aragorn_II_Elessar
Vampire (Giles & Buffy, T) by poisonouschicken
Smile, 'Cause You'll Go Out In Style (Angel, Cordelia, G) by TanithClaraComet_BillPip
Runaway (Buffy/Spike, not rated) by 19BBY
Boston Days (Faith, T) by yvochrali
Shanshu (Buffy/Angel, not rated) by redbrickrose
Just to Keep You (Satisfied) (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by ashcrashed
an endless road to rediscover (Buffy, The Fast and the Furious crossover, FR13) by jedibuttercup
[Chaptered Fiction]
Monsters, Part 23 of Faith Sheppard (Faith, Stargate Atlantis crossover, PG13/FR18/T) by hermione2be
Burning Bright, Chapter 6 (Buffy, The Walking Dead crossover, T) by 3am_moonlight
The Greendale Files, Chapter 1 (Willow, Tara, Dawn, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina / Futurama crossover, T) by Rutkowski
Swept Away, Chapters 1-2 (complete) (Buffy, Willow, Innkeeper Chronicles crossover, G) by Jedi Buttercup
Amnesia, Chapters 1-6 (complete) (Buffy/Spike, E) by vampyrejam
Crave, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, Hard R? Soft NC17?) by disaster-vamp
Small Hours, Chapter 10 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Niamh
Cheat the Midnight Hour, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, R) by SlayrGrl
The Man for the Job, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by lafillesauvage
Landed, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Holly
[Images, Audio & Video]
Artwork: Buffy X Big Barda (worksafe) by cadhla182
Artwork: Calendiles family sketch (Giles, Jenny, Buffy, Faith, worksafe) by halfrek
Artwork: 3.13 The Zeppo (worksafe) by tmcarlee
Fanvid: btvs spike yorgun demokrat by begum rana
Fanvid: Willow Rosenberg - There Will Be A Way by BrokenYellowCrayon
Fanvid: Bangel Senorita by Elizabeth Root
[Reviews & Recaps]
Well that sucked (Empty Places) by yetanotherbuffyblog
Discussion of 4.13 "Salvage" - Aired 3/5/2003 (WB-US) continued by Stake fodder
[Fandom Discussions]
How everyone first discovered Buffy (also read comments) by spuffybot
Did Anya love Xander? by Xillow
The best/ bad things about Willow by ILovewillow
Memory spells and how Angel Investigations remembers the past continued by multiple authors
Cecily Addams vs. Cecily Underwood - are they one and the same or different women? by flow
The moment I knew Giles truly cared about Buffy by Opening_Knowledge868
What's your favorite [Buffy] episode that everyone else hates? by Charlie678812
When did you start liking Faith? by Live_Most_2925
I hate how saintly Joyce was viewed as during season 5 even though in season 1-3 she was a crap mom by jdpm1991
The Scoobies were bad friends! Season 6 - Rant by Flames_of_Esmeralda
If Buffy, Angel, and Spike were in a buddy adventure movie (scripted by ScatterPatter’s Incorrect Quotes Generator) (Buffy, Angel, Spike, not rated) by awesomiste
Anya used the "W" word by Ronnoc527
Season 6 was the best by noncomposmentis_123
Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!
Join the editor team :)
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You asked for prompts, so here is one: Hilda organizes a dance at the Academy of Unseen Arts to lift people’s spirits. Zelda begrudgingly attends. Everything is fine until a cheeky young warlock asks her to dance, and she has a flashback to being under Faustus’ spell.
Yikes, well this only took me more than a year to answer. Nothing like a mandatory quarantine to force you into working on pieces you haven’t touched in ages! Anyway, this is set after part 2, so we’re still in a sweet spot of potential before part 3 happened. First CAOS story, would love to hear people’s thoughts!
Also, in case anyone is interested, the piece they dance to is “Melting Waltz” by Abel Korzeniowski. Yes, I like my horror tv shows :)
Below the line, because Faustus Blackwood is an ass, and- ya know- trauma
The dance had been Hilda’s idea. Since the whole Satan fiasco, morale amongst the remainder of the coven had been low. Very low. Hilda, ever the caretaker, tried everything to lift people’s spirits. Once baked goods had failed, even with enchantment, she began to plan for the dance.
A week or two prior, Zelda had contacted the High Priests of two covens in New York City that had a reputation for being more liberal in their beliefs, to inform them of what had happened in Greendale. Both men had accepted her as the first High Priestess in history with relative ease, and though she was reluctant to show it, Zelda was delighted. So when creating a guest list, Hilda had written to them with a dual invitation for a face-to-face meeting as well as an evening of socialization with the Greendale coven.
Expecting the remaining members of the Greendale coven to be joined by a dozen or so members of the New York covens, Hilda spent days decorating and baking. Two days before the event, she and Zelda stood in the main hall at the Academy, making minor adjustments to decorations.
“What’ll we do about that… thing?” Hilda asked, gesturing to the statue in the centre of the space, now missing its head. It was one of only two tangible marks of Faustus Blackwood’s brief and twisted domain over the Church of Night, the other being his office within the building. Zelda had begun to clear it out the previous week, but had left almost as soon as she entered. She could not stand his lingering scent.
In response to Hilda’s question, the ginger-haired witch merely raised her left hand, palm facing the statue, and Hilda turned to look at Zelda as she felt her sister’s magic surge through the room. Slowly at first, but then with increasing speed, the neck of the statue began to melt. Dark grey droplets formed, dripping from the statue’s throat down to its shoulders. Before long, stone flowed as liquid, the statue becoming misshapen, drooping as it disintegrated.
Once the statue was no more than a large puddle of grey sludge, it suddenly errupted into flames. Zelda took a drag off the cigarette in its holder on her right hand, watching the remains of the statue evaporate.
“Well,” Hilda broke the silence as the last of the puddle burned away. “I suppose that’s that.” She began, somewhat awkwardly, to sneak out of the room around her sister. Zelda methodically exhaled a cloud of smoke before flicking the ashes of her cigarette in the swiftly shrinking puddle. Then the redhead turned on her heel and sauntered out, feeling somewhat lighter.
~~
The evening was lovely. The hall of the Academy was alive with light and sound. Candles on each wall and hovering overhead created a sophisticated and appropriately spooky embiance. Music reverberated softly through the space, somehow smoothly alternating between classical orchestrations, jazz band recordings, and modern pop songs for the younger generation.
Sabrina sat on the staircase surrounded by her schoolmates, the red silken fabric of her skirt draped over the stairs. Her mortal friends had joined the coven for the occasion, mingling with the Academy students around Sabrina. Hilda played hostess as she made her way in cheerful circles around the room to ensure that every guest was contented, the neckline of her blue dress cut just a little lower than previous dresses (at her sister’s encouragement). Zelda was every inch the High Priestess. Her fiery hair was pinned up, her dress a formal black, pointed at her shoulders and at the ends of her long sleeves, partially covering the backs of her hands. Her nails were a deep, blood red matching the jewels of her earrings and the color painting her lips. She stood in a cluster of warlocks, trading ideas on numerology, quietly pleased that things seemed to be going so well. Their guests appeared to be enjoying themselves, and Zelda felt respected, listened to, equal with the men she stood amongst. It made for a very welcome change.
The music shifted into a haunting waltz, a minor-keyed orchestration full of strings. The warlock on Zelda’s left extended an upturned hand to her, the gesture holding a certain air of ceremony. He made quite a picture with his gold suit jacket, along with gold rings on his fingers, eyes lined in the same color, and nails painted to match. So much gold laid against his dark skin created quite a striking effect. “Might I ask you for a dance, High Priestess?” he questioned with a charming smile. Zelda raised an eyebrow, almost as though she were evaluating him before replying.
“Very well,” she murmured after a moment’s pause, placing her hand in his outstretched one. He led her to the centre of the room where other dancing couples had begun to pick up the waltz tempo, and pulled her gracefully into a dance frame with a hand on her back, leaving her free hand to rest on his shoulder. As the music rose, he stepped forward and began to lead.
They were a very elegant pair, and other couples drifted to the outskirts of the dancing space to allow them more room. A number of conversations around the room fell silent as people turned to watch.
“You dance beautifully, High Priestess,” he spoke as she followed his change of direction with ease, flashing her that same lovely smile.
“Thank you, Brother Ethan. It was one of my favorite pastimes a century or two ago, I did quite a lot of it. All those marvelous European parties.”
“Oh I know just the ones, somehow the Europeans always throw superior parties. And so many handsome young men,” he added, a wry smile on his lips. Zelda gave a knowing laugh as he raised their connected arms for her to turn under, but as she spun- once, twice- the room seemed almost to tilt under her feet, and she heard the flutter of a skirt that she was not wearing, felt sharpened fingernails pricking the delicate skin of her waist. She was pulled back against the warlock, and she desperately tried to focus on his tightly curled hair, the feeling of the flat of his palm nearly between her shoulder blades, the gold edging his dark eyes, anything to remind her that this was not Faustus.
Breathe, she thought, forcing herself to keep with the rhythm of the music while everything in her screamed to run. Careful to keep her face frozen in a slight smile, she directed all of her attention to inhaling and exhaling evenly in time with the music, counting waltz time in her head. In 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Out 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Her feet followed his automatically, and she bit hard on the inside of her lip as he turned her again.
An eternity later, the music came to an end, and she returned his bow with a picture perfect curtsey. “You are truly lovely, Sister Zelda,” spoke her partner as they returned to the side of the room.
Zelda, Blackwood’s voice hissed in her mind, a cruel echo of Ethan’s friendly tone.
“Thank you for the dance, Brother Ethan,” she spoke, digging her fingernails into her palms to stop her hands from shaking. “If you’ll excuse me, I have some-something to attend to.” Without waiting for his response, she turned away from him and started across the room. She managed to keep a sensible- though swift- pace until she stepped into the empty corridor. Her strength disappeared and she broke into a run, undeterred by the height of her heels.
Swinging around the corner, she flung herself at the front doors and stumbled through them, the chilly evening air tearing into her lungs. She flew down the stone steps, no thought to where she was going, only wanting to get as far away as possible. Racing towards the railroad tracks, one foot caught behind her, and suddenly the ground rushed up to meet her, her palms skidding against rough soil and small stones tearing at the knees of her stockings. As she whipped her head around to look behind her, she saw her right shoe standing upright, its heel rooted in the earth. Her breath caught in her chest and a sob ripped from her lips, fingers digging into the dirt in an effort to find something- anything- to hold onto as memories that plagued her nightmares flooded her mind. She sank back on her knees, gasping air into her lungs while her tears left tiny dampened spots on the ground beneath her.
Every thought was disturbingly vivid- the overpowering scent of Faustus’s cologne, the sickly sweet taste of sugared tea, the sharp crack of the cat o’ nine tails against her back, pricks of pain as his sharpened fingernails tore at delicate flesh inside of her until there was blood on the sheets. The maddening knowledge that she was aware of every moment and yet powerless to stop anything.
A hand on her back startled her so that she recoiled from it with a strangled cry, her hip landing hard against the uneven earth. Half-expecting it to be Faustus standing above her, waiting to drag her back to the prison of the music box, she was somewhat bewildered to see Lilith looking down at her, an unfamiliar expression of pity on the face borrowed from Mary Wardwell. Zelda wiped furiously at her cheeks with the back of her hand in a futile attempt to compose herself.
“My Queen,” she spoke, her voice wavering. “What m-”
“I’m not here as your queen,” Lilith cut her off, kneeling beside her despite the dirt. “I could feel you. All the way down in Hell- your body, your magic in distress, your mind practically screaming. Zelda, what’s happened?”
“I-it felt… it felt like F-faustus, when he-he…” A sob bubbled up in her throat and she tried to swallow it, her head dropping in shame at such a display in front of the Queen of Hell. In front of Lilith.
Lilith reached out a gentle hand and placed it lightly against Zelda’s head, brushing fiery hair away from her face. The witch allowed it, leaning in almost imperceptibly to her touch. Wishing to spare her High Priestess any pain she could, the demoness pulsed her magic through her hand and nudged into Zelda’s mind, carefully touching on the recollections at the forefront of her memory. Brushing up against the thoughts, Lilith could see Zelda’s remembrance of the last few minutes in the hall, and of everything she suffered at Faustus’s hand. Her lips parted as she gasped in horror, tears burning in her own eyes to match the redhead’s.
“Oh, Zelda,” she breathed, leaning forward to touch her forehead lightly to the witch’s. “As I am Queen of Hell, I promise that no man will ever hurt you like that again. And when I find Faustus Blackwood, I will drag him screaming into the Pit and I will visit on him pain as he has never known before. He will pay for what he’s done, I promise you.” Lilith tilted her head up to press her lips against Zelda’s brow, sealing her vow with a kiss heated in Hellfire.
Hold me, she heard Zelda’s whispered thought as the witch bit her lip, trying fiercely to hold back tears. Lilith, please. Please hold me. The desperation in the redhead’s mind broke the demoness’s heart as it had not been broken in millennia. She gathered the other woman into an embrace, feeling Zelda’s arms wrap around her waist as she held her tightly. And as the witch sobbed against her chest, finally giving into tears, Lilith began to plot revenge against the man who had brought her High Priestess, trembling, to her knees.
What fun she would have with him. What fun.
#I was gonna end it differently#but I couldn't bring myself to just leave Zelda there#pardon the shameless madam spellman shipping#caos#chilling adventures of sabrina#Zelda spellman#aunt zelda#high priestess#madam satan#lilith#church of lilith#madam spellman#Blackwood sucks#zero spellw*od here#tw#trigger warning#writings
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THE CHILLING ADVENTURES OF ZELDA: CHAPTER 16-THE NEW GIRL
CORDELIA SPELLMAN, NOW 12, FEELS UNEASY AROUND THE NEW GIRL IN HER CLASS…
Cordelia Spellman, smiled at herself in her full-length mirror, as she finished buttoning her blouse and admired her new skirt. Then she sat down at her vanity and picked up her golden chain with a single crescent moon attached. Ever since her parents had given her the necklace as a Yule gift 6 years ago, Cordelia never left the house without her necklace. Whenever she felt anxious or upset, Cordelia would hold the half-moon and pray. Guess being the daughter of a high priestess made you believe a little more. It was a long-standing family joke that if Sabrina’s black headband was her trademark then the necklace was Cordelia’s. After fastening the chain to her neck, Cordelia gathered her school books together and putting them in her backpack when she heard a bird. Turning around, she saw a dove in a tree right outside her bedroom window. A dove that Cordelia knew well.
“Hello, October.” Cordelia greeted the dove before grabbing her backpack and exiting her room. Out in the hallway, Cordelia encountered another animal. A huge brown greyhound lay across the floor, directly in Cordelia’s way. However, this was no mere dog. This was the familiar of Cordelia’s brother, Jake.
“Come on, Apollo, move! You’re in the way!” The dog did move when Cordelia scratched him behind his ear. The dog and the 12-year-old walked through the living room together. As they neared the kitchen, Apollo ran ahead, searching for food and his master. Cordelia stayed behind just long enough to put her book bag down on a hallway bench. Inside the kitchen, Cordelia found the usual suspects: her parents
“Good morning, Mom and Dad.”
Her brother was now feeding Apollo a strip of bacon, and Vinegar Tom, her mother’s dog wasn’t far behind.
“Morning, Jake.”
And her cousin, who unlike her parents and her brother, didn’t live there but worked there and often showed up early enough for breakfast.
“Hey, Ambrose.”
Plus 1 new face around the table.
“Hey, it’s the good doctor.” Cordelia hugged her big sister before sitting down next to her.
“Good morning, Cordy!” LJ smiled. “You don’t seem that surprised to see me here.”
“I’m not,” shrugged Cordelia as she dug into her oatmeal. “Perhaps that’s because I just saw a certain dove perched outside my window not 5 minutes ago.”
“Damn that October! I swear that familiar of mine spoils all my surprises! Anyway, the official reason I’m here is to drop off some medical forums for the boys but I also wanted to check up on you. Are you sure you’re ready for what you need to do today?”
Cordelia couldn’t help but smile. Not only was today the 1st day of school, but it was also Cordelia’s 1st day of 7th grade at Greendale Middle School, the very class that her father taught since she was 4.
Annoyed, Faustus came forward with his cup of coffee. “Hey, you have been teasing your sister all summer about being in my class. I wish you would stop it. I’m a good teacher and you, Cordy, don’t think I’m going to be easy on you because I’m your father.”
Cordelia shook her head. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Dad. I going to pass 7th grade with hard work and good grades, the same way I’ll become a top student when I attend the academy.”
Zelda smiled at her daughter. “Now, that’s the right attitude.”
“Butt kisser.” Jake teased his sister good-naturedly.
10 minutes later, everyone left the kitchen. Ambrose and Jake went to work in other parts of the house, while everyone else was heading out the door. Zelda, to morning assembly at the academy, LJ was heading to the hospital to start her rounds and Faustus started the engine to his white VW bug as Cordelia climbed in beside him.
“So, did you and Mom have the talk today?” she asked her father.
“What talk?” Faustus asked his daughter.
Cordelia shrugged. “The talk, the talk you and Mom have at the start of every school year. The one where Mom asks you to come to teach at the academy and every year, you turn down Mom’s offer.”
“You know about that?”
Cordelia rolled her eyes. “Everyone in the family knows. What I don’t get is why you keep turning her down. When I was little, you told me that Ambrose is the most powerful warlock in the family but I’ve known for a long time that it’s you. Plus, I heard Uncle C and Aunt Hilda talking about how you used to work there and- “
“Cordy, I don’t feel comfortable talking about this.” Faustus cut in. “Yes, I used to work at the academy, but that was a long time ago, before the curse.”
“Of course!” His daughter spat. “Whenever I try to bring up anything about your past, all you ever say is it happened before the curse. Never mind that you always say you’ll tell me about this curse someday, but you never have. Dad, I’m 12 now, whatever this curse is, I can handle it.”
Faustus sighed as he pulled into the school parking lot. He couldn’t blame Cordelia for her anger toward him. She was right, of course, he brought up the ‘before the curse’ line a lot but what the child didn’t know was that he tried twice as much to tell his daughter what the curse actually was. Yet, he just couldn’t do it. Even when Zelda was right there beside him to support and help him to explain it all. But 1 look in Cordy’s innocent, trusting eyes, and Faustus chickened out every time. You’re weak, boy, you’ve always been weak. His father’s words were never far in Faustus’s mind. No words could be enough to express how thankful and grateful he was to the Spellmans for their unending understanding and support of him for the last 13 years. However, no matter how loved, safe, and secure his family would make him feel, something always happened, a memory, a nightmare, (last week’s was a real doozy) to trigger his never-ending guilt yet again. That’s why he declined Zelda’s yearly offer to return to teaching at the academy. It was no longer a school to him, just a scene of his crimes. He felt the same way about the church, though he found it easier to avoid the school. When he did go to mass, he sat in the very last pew, even if as the spouse of the high priestess, it was his right to sit upfront with the rest of his family. He liked to get in and out, to see as less of the coven as possible. Even if the coven and the family’s forgiveness had lasted for 13 years, Faustus still lived his life as if that forgiveness could be revoked at any moment. This is why he couldn’t tell the youngest Spellman that it was only because of her mother that he wasn’t trapped forever inside a wicked, murdering husk. Sometimes it felt like Cordelia was the only 1 left in the world who didn’t know of his crimes and, selfish or not, he liked it that way.
“No, your mother and I didn’t have ‘that talk’ today, we had it yesterday.” There, it was all Faustus was willing to say on the subject. Faustus parked the car and pointed. “There are your friends.”
Thankfully, the sight of her best friends, blond triplets Emily, Erin, and Erica Warner, was enough to distract Cordelia from their current conversation.
“Thanks, Dad,” Cordelia pecked her father’s cheek, left the car, and made a beeline for her friends. “Hi, guys!”
“Hey, Cordy,” Said Emily.
“Hi, Cordelia” Replied Erica.
Erin just waved.
Cordelia frowned. “What’s wrong with you 3? You all look like you didn’t sleep a wink all night long.”
“We didn’t,” mumbled Erin.
“How could we when Mom and Dad had another all-night screaming match.” Emily agreed with her sister.
“Again?!” Cordelia frowned, the triplets confided in her that their parents were having marriage problems for quite some time.
“Hey there, girls!” came a voice from behind.
“Sara!” All 3 Warner girls cried and turned to embrace the girl coming towards them.
Cordelia wasn’t sure what disturbed her more. The fact that she had never seen this new girl a day in her life or that she got a warmer welcome from her besties than she did. However, Cordelia easily dismissed the thought when Erin turned back to her.
“Cord, this is Sara Reed. She just moved 3 doors down from us about 2 weeks ago. Sara, this is Cordelia Spellman, she’s been our best friend since, like, ever.”
“So, I’m finally meeting the famous Cordelia Spellman.”
“Well, I don’t know about famous,” Cordelia smiled.
The bell rang so the girls headed inside the school.
“Are you kidding?” Sara told Cordelia, “the triplets talk about you all the time. To hear them tell it, your family owns the town.”
“Hardy,” Cordelia giggled. “Truthfully, they only own 2 businesses, but they are all over town. Let’s see, my uncle owns Dr. Cerberus’s books and spirits and he runs it with my aunt Hilda. She herself co-owns the Spellman Sisters mortuary with my mother but Mom teaches high school with my oldest sister, Prudence. So the mortuary’s day to day business is run by Ambrose, my cousin, and my brother Jake. Not too far from Uncle C’s shop, is the new office of my other cousin, Sabrina, who’s a therapist. LJ, my other sister, is a doctor.”
“What about your father?” Sara asked.
“Oh, Dad’s right here,” Cordelia answered. “Dad has been teaching 7th grade at this school since I was 4.”
“Which means that Mr. Spellman is our teacher this year.” Erin pointed out.
This made Sara confused. “Wait, I thought you guys were going into 8th grade?”
Emily shook her head. “Nope,7th.”
“I’m going into 8th.” Sara declared.
“I thought she was 12, like us,” Cordelia whispered to Erica.
“She is, but Sara is so cool, I’m not surprised she skipped a grade.”
“Oh yeah,” Cordelia smiled. “What makes her so cool?”
“She’s a Wiccan.”
Her friends didn’t notice when Cordelia froze and her smile disappeared.
Nina Robinson was the school’s new 8th-grade teacher and she was not at all happy to be there. Some teachers’ passion was children, but Nina’s true passion was men. That was got her in her current troubles. If her boyfriend-correction, ex-boyfriend, had simply told his wife about them, he probably could have avoided a political scandal. Yet here Nina was, in a backward hic town instead of her beloved New York.
How am I going to find Mr. tall, dark and handsome here in the middle of Nowhere, USA? Nina thought to herself just before Mr. tall, dark, and handsome walked by.
Luckily, Nina was standing right next to Theo Putnam, the vice-principal of the school. “Um, Mr. Putnam? Who is that?” Nina asked, pointing.
“Oh, that’s Faustus Spellman, he’s been teaching 7th grade here for 8 years. His niece, Sabrina, is a childhood friend of mine.”
Nina could care less about childhood friends as she checked out this Faustus guy and she liked what she saw. Most women would back off when they saw Faustus’s wedding ring, but not Nina. She liked a challenge.
“So, how are you today, Mr. Wilson?” LJ smiled at her favorite patient.
“Much better now that you’re here.” Mr. Wilson took LJ’s hand and kissed it.
“Well, I’m certainly glad that those 3 surgeries didn’t rob you of your charm.”
LJ turned as the door opened and there was a man LJ didn’t know. “Excuse me, Mr. Wilson? I was sent here to check your I.V. and do some bloodwood.”
“Well, do it, then. Can’t you see I’m trying to flirt here?”
LJ chuckled as she moved to allow the stranger room to work. LJ also check the chart at the end of Mr. Wilson’s bed. “Everything looks good here. I’ll check back on you this afternoon.”
LJ and the man left the hospital room together. “I’m sorry, but have we met?” LJ asked the man out in the hallway. “It’s just that I’ve worked here for the last 5 years and I can’t place you.”
The man smiled. “Nor should you. I’m part of a group of interns that just transferred here from Moon Valley.”
“Oh, okay. Well, welcome to Greendale Memorial Hospital. How are you liking it so far?”
“I like it very much. I mean, the people are great. There’s only 1 thing I’m nervous about. My pals keep telling me how tough our supervisor is. I haven’t met him yet; some guys say that our new supervisor is some hard ass resident named Dr. Spellman. Oh, where are my manners?” I’m Peter, Peter Watson.”
“LJ. LJ Spellman.”
Peter stopped walking. “You’re kidding, right.”
LJ kept smiling as she shook her head. “Afraid not.”
“Look, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“After I get my foot out of my big mouth, how about I apologize properly by buying you a drink after work?”
LJ’s smile got bigger. “I would like that.”
Over the years, some found it odd, that everyone at Greendale middle school, both staff and students alike, all had their lunch break at noon sharp. Yet today, it was a blessing. For at 10 after 12, a fire broke out in the southeast end of the school. Far away from the cafeteria and the teacher’s lounge. By 12:30, all the fire alarms were screaming at full force and the firetrucks were arriving just as the yard was filling with people. By 1 pm, the principal and vice-principal were busy calling parents to tell them not only about the fire but also the happy news that no one was hurt. To give the school a chance to air out all that extra smoke, afternoon classes were held outside, made possible by the nice weather. Although the flames were brief, it did ruin 2 rooms. The library and the 8th-grade classroom were burnt and would be unusable for months. By 3, it was safe to come back inside. By 3:30, the school was over and Cordelia was putting some books in her locker before heading into the girls’ bathroom. Cordelia pushed open the door and froze. There, among a dozen lit candles, were her 3 best friends and the new girl, Sara, all hovering over an Ouija board.
#chilling adventures of sabrina#caoz#chapter 16#fanfic#zelda spellman and faustus blackwood#spellwood#zelda spellman#faustus blackwood#hilda spellman#ambrose spellman#sabrina spellman#cordelia spellman#lj spellman#Jake spellman#please comment#please reblog#yes i know i've already posted a link to a03 but i've always posted on here too so...
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Part 2 Episode 6 Analysis (3/?)
So when Adam 2.0 and Lilith are walking through the woods, it’s no freaking coincidence that the settling looks so idyllic, so lush and green, one could say it looks like Eden. She is essentially in a garden, a wild place (something that is considered home/sacred to Lilith in her mythology. If you want her to feel welcome where you live, make sure to keep at least a part of your garden wild), the sort of place not only was she created in, but first lived in, her first official home, and she’s walking with a man called Adam. We’re seeing here how Eden should have been, with Adam considering her equal, treating her with respect, walking side-by-side, happy, content and peaceful. It’s the biggest What-Could-Have-Been.
Now, two interesting extra points about our first shot of this scene; the first is that Lilith has her arm linked through Adam’s. Not only does this mean they are strolling side by side as equals and also proves it’s a nice romantic stroll, but it also shows Lilith’s trust in him. Her arm is linked through his not the other way around, Adam is leading her, she is letting him lead her. She feels enough faith and trust and love for him to feel comfortable for what would be a small allowance for most people, but is a big thing for Lilith.
The second thing I want to point out is that she is wearing trousers. This is the first and only time we ever see Lilith wearing trousers. I have made a longer, more detailed post about this in the past, so I won’t go too deeply into it again, but I just want to point out how significant this is. Lilith, who always uses her attractiveness and her sexuality to manipulate situations to her best advantage, is wearing trousers. And though she is very stylish, she’s actually entirely covered, she’s dressed for fashion not for manipulation. Even her hands are covered, which they never are, her red nails are always visible, but she has gloves on, she’s wearing a belt, a jacket that, while a great cut, is not about showing off ‘assets’. And women’s trousers were, originally, seen as a symbol of freedom and independence. Desexualising women’s style and allowing them to do things men do, to no longer be held back by cumbersome dresses. Lilith, here is not only feeling free and independent, but also feeling no need to manipulate anything, she’s not working an angle, she’s not on edge or on guard, she is totally relaxed and natural and being herself. And herself likes the freedom of a pair of trousers.
It does, on closer inspection, appear to be a bodysuit, but the details of the upper are covered by the jacket, as, like I said, she’s dressed for fashionable comfort, rather than sexual-men-are-idiots manipulation. That’s such a huge deal.
“Mm, Adam. It’s so good to be away from that dreary little town”
Okay, first off, the way she says ‘mm Adam’ is so freaking content. The woman is STROLLING, this woman who is tense all the time, has to work all the time, manipulate all the time, be on the defence all the time, is strolling and smiling and going ‘Mm, Adam’. That says a lot which my little ole emotions can’t handle. And then there’s her saying how good it is to be away from Greendale. Because everything in Greendale reminds her of what she has to do, what she’s there fore. Everything in Greendale is to do with Lucifer and Sabrina, but out here, in the woods, out of the two, with Adam, it’s all about her, no one else. And the fact Adam has not just taken her for a day out, but out of the town, is all foreshadowing of his offer to take her much further, to take her far away from everything that is making her unhappy, even if she won’t openly admit it yet.
Also when she told Sabrina she was having a personal day, she was wearing a purple dress. Did Lilith go to work, come home and change, then go out. Or did that one personal day lead to several personal days, and this is just like the third day in a row or something? And that’s why Stolas is stalking her and reporting back?
“You’ve always been devoted to Greendale, Mary”
“Have I? Well, perhaps I’ve grown beyond it”
Okay, from Adam we get a hint at the type of person Mary was, the sort of interests she had, and the fact she’s obviously made it clear to Adam, she won’t leave the town. He then takes Lilith’s answer to mean she’s ready to adventure further, but we know this isn’t Mary and so her answer means so much more. Saying ‘Perhaps I’ve grown beyond it’, we know she’s talking about more than just the town, she’s talking about everything it represents and is linked to. Her dynamic/relationship/romance with Adam is waking Lilith up to some things, things she wasn’t happy with but was in survival-denial over, and now, with these escapes and personal days, she’s beginning to realise that. She’s grown beyond Greendale, Sabrina, Lucifer’s orders, the manipulations, the machinations for the throne. Lilith is ready for something different. She’s ready to explore things beyond Hell and beyond the Dark Lord, she’s finding herself growing tired of it all.
The fact they come to stop at a bridge as she says this is a big deal. A bridge between two points, Do we cross the bridge? Once we cross the bridge we can’t turn back. The point of no return, the boundary between two realms. Lilith is metaphorically and literally on the cusp between two worlds. Much like Sabrina, at the beginning of Part 1, where she’s asked to choose between two worlds, Lilith is going to be asked to make a very similar choice too (the only difference, and significant one, is Lilith does choose to leave. She doesn’t choose both as Sabrina demanded. When given a choice of power or freedom, Lilith chooses freedom and that is so freaking significant to understanding her character).
Adam is so apprehensive when making his offer/suggestion to go to Tibet. He’s so expecting to be turned down. Lilith, on the other hand, thinks he’s joking. So much so, she bursts out laughing. Lilith finds the idea of being asked to join someone on a trip, as equals, asked to join them because they love her and her company rather than for any ulterior motive, that she actually laughs. And then when she sees his sincere, her expression goes from ‘oh. oops. Sorry. Wait, what?’
Even when she realises he’s genuine, her primary emotion is confusion. She just cannot compute this idea of him asking her. She’s not a doctor, she’s not a physician, she’s not anything that would be of any actual use in this medical charity, which means the only reason Adam is asking her is because he wants to be with her. And Lilith hasn’t had that in thousands of years. It’s strange to her.
And then when he starts talking about the post she looks away like ‘yeah, yeah, here we go’. She seems to utterly expect him to say he’s going regardless, that he’s leaving for Tibet even if she doesn’t agree to go. She expects abandonment and being put in second place, because that’s what she always experiences, that’s how she’s always treated. And she doesn’t even look resentful at the idea, she just looks resigned and unsurprised. And then he makes that declaration:
“But I wouldn’t consider taking it, if you don’t come with me”
And that stops her. This person, this man, this mortal man, is openly declaring that she’s a deciding factor. That he won’t leave Greendale unless she leaves with him. She’s being told she’s more important than something, that she’s the most important, and I don’t think she’s ever had that. So she tries to dismiss it, like ‘Tibet? Adam, don’t be so absurd’. She’s dismissing it because it’s emotions she hasn’t experience before, but also part of her still can’t envision a world where she leaves, a life where she isn’t working to be Queen of Hell, an ordinary mortal life, even if only for the short time that Adam would live (consider she essentially lives forever).
“Mary. I wanna show you the world”
And that’s the phrase that gets her. That’s the moment she’s utterly caught by his offer, speechless at his sincerity. She is around 6000 years old, there’s nothing of the world she hasn’t seen really, and yet here’s a 50-odd-year-old man offering to show the world himself. And perhaps, through his eyes, through this relationship of respect and affection and love, she would be shown the world for the first, a different world. This is, I feel, the declaration she wanted from the original Adam when she was in the Garden. To want to share the world with her, to experience everything side by side...and no matter how many millennia it’s been, that desire is still in Lilith’s core, and here it is, offered to her, by the one person who has shown her respect and love and affection in thousands of years.
And no matter the consequences, no matter how ridiculous an idea she might feel it is, no matter how much she knows it would mean giving up the throne, how much she knows Adam will age and she won’t.....she can’t resist it. She agrees to consider it. And she says it so sincerely, looking at him so intently. And you know what? He doesn’t push, he doesn’t say ‘what’s to consider?’ he doesn’t ask when she will have an answer, the fact she says she’ll consider it is more than enough, and he smiles, that’s the end of the conversation. Adam never pushes her and that’s very important for Lilith, I feel, considering her other dynamics and the way people tend to treat her.
When she goes to throw the pebble and Adam tells her to make a wish, she freaking does it. Lilith, the First Woman, the First Witch, Mother of Demons, Dawn of Doom....makes a wish on a pebble like a freaking love-sick teenager. And she actually thinks about the wish, you can see her concentrating as she genuinely picks what to wish for, and the way Adam watches her as she does, even though she doesn’t see him watching him is so affectionate and romantic. She throws it so unceremoniously though, which makes me laugh. And it makes Adam laugh too. Because it’s meant to be a gentle throw and Lilith just hurls it through the air.
And then we see Bitch Snitch Stolas watching and flying off which makes us feel all kind of bad, even before we knew what was going to happen.
Now as Adam was watching Lilith without her seeing, now Lilith looks at Adam without him seeing. This is a key thing of being in love. You do it a lot. Just watch the other person when they don’t know you’re watching them, you just study them, gently looking at them, quietly admiring and appreciating them. And the fact they both do it to each other, show how much in love they both are.
And then when he looks at her and she laughs with him, she freaking leans into him, leans against him as he hugs her, they’re standing there hugging each other and laughing. Lovesick kids, man.
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Kill Your Boyfriend
“A little girl wants revenge; a real woman moves on while karma does her dirty work for her,” Alice said primly as she set another bowl into the cabinet.
“Did you read that in Reader’s Digest?” Gladys asked sourly and shifted the steak on her face. A scowl be more apt, but it would only pull at the skin around her eye, and she’d had more than enough pain for the night.
She lowered it only for Alice to swoop in and press it further against Gladys face. This time Gladys did scowl, damn the pain. With a smug smile, Alice returned to emptying her dishwasher (oh how far she’d come from hand washing dishes in the back of the Wyrm; and yet Gladys hadn’t moved an inch). If it wasn’t for their shared history - intimate and professional - Gladys would have sucker punched Alice and taken the good silver on her way out.
“Platitudes are all well and good, but I’d say now’s the time for a reminder as to why men shouldn’t hit women.”
“It’s also a good time for you to think for once,” Alice snapped. The china dishes let out a scream as she slammed another plate onto the stack. She reached for a large butcher’s knife and shoved it into the block. (Eighty, ninety bucks easy for a slab of wood, Gladys thought. Bougie wood for the bougie, upscale lifestyle Alice had been scheming her way into since kindergarten.)
“If you go after him now -“
Gladys leaned back as the steak knife in Alice’s hand came too close to her face. She reached out and pushed Alice’s wrist down towards the kitchen island least this problem be solved by an inadvertent stabbing.
“-you're the only suspect,” Alice continued. “Keller will have you in handcuffs and behind bars -“
She held up a hand to keep Gladys quiet. Instead of saying every dirty little thing she was thinking - about Keller, handcuffs, and Gladys’ past indiscretions with the blonde woman - she let her smirk say it all.
“-and who would look after your son? His father in the ground, you in the pen. He’d be in foster care in a day.”
Gladys mused on this, wondering if it was too late in life to start writing country songs. She sucked on her teeth and winced. One of the back ones was lose, probably courtesy of when she’d been thrown against the bathroom sink. God damn FP and his alcoholic fits. It was one thing for a man to hold his liquor; it was another for him to pour it out onto his wife.
The Cooper kettle screamed (robin’s egg blue, polished and shiny as if it had never been used; 45 easy from Box and Keg, with coupon). Alice turned her attention towards it and began making the suburban equivalent of a shot of good whiskey. Gladys would have killed for a shot of anything right now, but PTA, Home & Garden Alice frowned on fun like mixing valium and alcohol. Serpent Alice would already have three prozac and a tequila sunrise ready for her.
“So what would you suggest, since stabbing him through the heart is off the table,” Gladys said. She turned the steak over and sighed at how cool the other side was.
Alice pursed her lips while she loaded the dishwasher full of pots and pans from the earlier family dinner. The one Gladys had crashed by knocking on the backdoor, blood streaming from her face, her eyes red and clothes torn, a sleeping child cradled in her arms. Before the in-laws could see, Alice had whisked her upstairs for a change of clothes and first aid. Gladys didn’t know what had been said, but it wasn’t more than a few minutes before Jughead had been laid down in the crib next to Betty, and she’d been taken downstairs and seated at the island, a hearty slice of apple pie a la mode set in front of her.
“Stay here a few days. Let it be known you’re out of the house and you’re not going back. Spread a few rumors about who F.P.’s been working with,” Alice said. “Maybe pick up a night shift at Pop’s.”
Her focus was on the caked on grease that defiled her pristine life, but Gladys knew the gears were turning in her head. Alice always was the schemer, the planner. She’d had her entire life planned out when reality sunk in that the Smiths weren’t in the same zip code as the Cleavers, let alone the same country. If one wanted a plan, one that wasn’t necessarily foolproof, but smart enough to fool ninety percent of the population, Alice Smith was that person.
There was one small hitch, though.
“Where am I going to stay in the meantime? The trailer park’s out, and couch surfing with a two-year old tends to get old real quick. Especially since most of my friends are more likely to have needles lying around than milk.”
Alice waved off her concerns. “Hal’s going on some retreat, Find Your Inner Masculine Self, or some other insecure ego trip for the next month, so the basement will be free,” Alice said. She let the water drain out of the sink and picked up two cups of tea. One she sat in front of Gladys; the other she took with her as she sat down at the island. “And I could always use some help with the girls.”
It was tempting. A stable roof over their head and three squares a day. More than F.P. ever provided them.
“What’s the catch?”
Alice shook her head, a coy smile on her face. “No catch. Only …”
Gladys raised an eyebrow. She set the steak down on the styrofoam container. “Only?”
“You let me help make F.P. disappear.”
“There a history there I should know about?”
Alice blew on her tea and took a small sip. Her eyes closed as she savored the flavor. Gladys’ question hung in the air, unanswered.
xxxx
Dead tired, feet aching, Gladys punched out from her ten hour shift at Pop’s. It hadn’t been terrible, pretending as if F.P. didn’t exist. She’d been acting as a single mother for the last year and it was easier when she didn’t have to pick up after him as well.
It was actually quite nice. Or at least, playing house with Alice was. While they’d both respected each others boundaries, there were plenty of times Gladys wanted to break them, and Alice didn’t make it easy. Whether it was a rekindling of old flames, or whether it was Gladys’ own complex about people who treated her kindly, it didn’t matter in the end. Alice was married (ten carrot ring, rose gold, priceless and worthless depending on who you asked), and disgustingly happy about it, and Gladys refused to take that from her.
She bid Pop’s a good night and stepped out into the humid night air. Right on time, Alice pulled up to the diner in her eyesore of a wood paneled station wagon (not even worth casing, it was so ugly). Gladys sunk into the faux leather seats and let her eyes shut, the smell of grease and burnt coffee staying with her even after they’d crossed the railroad tracks. Tonight, though, Alice took a left instead of a right.
Gladys cracked an eye open and watched the quaint brick work turn into tall, dark pines. She turned to Alice whose expression never wavered.
“Al?”
“Do you still want to go through with this?”
Gladys sat up in her chair and stared at Alice. She didn’t need to ask what she meant. “Seriously?”
“Dead serious.”
“Alright then.”
Alice pulled off the road just outside of Greendale, the road lit by the light of a hole-in-the-wall bar. Rows of motorcycles lined the parking lot. The drunks had spilled out of the double wide building and were lounging around the porch, loud enough to wake the dead. While they waited for the party to die down, Gladys wondered how much time Alice had spent tracking his movements, how much energy she’d expended on this side project of hers.
Country rock whispered around them, punctuated with the hoots and hollers of men all too eager to spend their meager paychecks on booze and women.
“Why do you care so much?” Gladys asked. She didn’t expect an answer.
“About him? Or you?”
Gladys chuckled. Of course Alice would see right through her. She always had been able to.
“Both. Neither. It’s not like we parted on good terms. And I didn’t exactly keep up with the Christmas cards.”
Alice pursed her lips, her gaze still laser focused on the horde of people, escaping their own problems. These were the people they’d been raised with. In other parts of the country they’d be white-trash, rednecks; here they were blue-collar workers who’d been left behind as corporations moved overseas at the behest of ever growing profits. They’d been left to fend for themselves among the corpses of dying towns, unwilling to leave behind the lives their father’s had left them.
“There he is,” Alice said.
She shifted the car into gear and let it idle as F.P. swayed down the ramp and greeted everyone he passed. Gladys always said he’d be good in politics, if he wasn’t so easily swayed by a shot and an easy fix. Five minutes later and he was at his bike. It took him three tries to start it up, and she knew he was at least ten beers in. He roared out of the parking lot and the station wagon quietly followed behind.
“Now what?” Gladys asked as the darkness enveloped them again.
Alice was quiet, focused on her prey. The dashboard light illuminated the cab, casting eerie blue shadows around them.
“All right, surprise party it is,” Gladys said.
Bored, she put her shoes up on the dash. Alice swatted them down.
“I just had it detailed.”
Alice took a sharp breath in as the motorcycle came to a slow stop off the road. The station wagon passed it, and Gladys turned to watch as F.P. staggered to his feet. They turned right onto an off road, and Alice pulled over to the side. Calmly, she turned the engine off and stepped out of the vehicle.
The gravel crunched beneath Gladys’ plain white sneakers, loaned to her from Alice’s full closet, as she followed Alice around the car to the trunk. Gladys let out a low whistle at the sight. Everything from a crowbar to a battery operated jump starter to an emergency blizzard kit. Hal Cooper made sure to take care of his wife’s every on-road need.
Alice reached in, her grey cardigan riding up as she reached for the shovel tucked neatly in the back. Gladys took it from her and watched as Alice surveyed her options. After a moment, she picked up a tarp and an axe, the sharp edge gleaming in the brake lights. It lay naturally in Alice’s hands, another well worn tool in her arsenal of getting what she wanted out of life.
In the red brake lights, Alice looked like a macabre angel of vengeance. Grey cardigan, black cigarette pants, pearl drop earrings. She was dressed for a potluck.
It was that moment that Alice’s plan revealed itself, and Gladys couldn’t help but chuckle at its perfection.
Alice Cooper, helicopter mother of the year, had selflessly takin in a childhood friend after she’d been battered. Caring, kind Alice, who spent two Sundays a month volunteering at the homeless shelter, trying to get her friend back on her feet. Vicious enforcer of her HOA and PTA rules, Alice would turn in her own mother-in-law for rolling through a stop-sign, had picked up Gladys from work and driven off, presumably to take her back to the picture perfect lifestyle on Elm Street.
How on earth could anyone imagine that she’d let a dangerous person near her family, let alone aid and abet in a murder?
With a smirk reminiscent of the old Alice, the one Gladys would eagerly kill for, they stepped into the woods where F.P. was last seen.
“Let’s go kill your boyfriend.”
#parentdale#tw: domestic violence#gladys/alice#for halcooper#for introducing me to how perfect these two would have been
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