Owari no Seraph Drama CD: Mezase! Debyuu e no Michi!! (Track 1)
This and Kakuse! Kurorekishi!! (Track 2) were the only OnS Drama CDs I couldn't find translations for, so I decided to do it myself!
Here's the link to Track 2.
And here's the link to the audio, please listen along while you read: https://soundcloud.com/namanari/sets/owari-no-seraph-seraph-of-the-end-drama-cd-set-2
(note: * means I am unsure of the translation for whatever reason, and *** means I have no idea what the hell they're saying and just took my best guess)
Owari no Seraph - Drama CD, Track 1: Shoot for It! The Road to Debut!!
This is the story of young high school stars risking their lives in the competitive world of show business.
Shinoa: One, two, three, four! Yoichi-san, can you lift those legs higher? Yuu-san, your rhythm is way behind! Kimizuki-san, you’ve got a very unnatural smile, eh? All right, all finished!
Yuu: This is tough!
Yoichi: I can’t move at all.
Kimizuki: I need a little break.
Shinoa: If you guys are struggling* this much with the basic dance, you still have a long way to go.
Yuu: Wait a sec, Shinoa!
Shinoa: What is it?
Yuu: Finish up this lesson already and let me debut! No matter how you look at it, this is all just a waste of time!
Shinoa: Oh? That’s quite an airheaded thing to say, Yuu-san. You’ve barely been keeping up with the lessons at training school, so obviously making your debut would be impossible, don’t you think?
Yuu: Wha-
Shinoa: As the saying goes, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, so the basics are-
Yuu: WHATEVER! There are plenty of people who became stars even though they couldn't dance, making a living off their own compositions, right?!*** Oh, I get it—this is workplace negligence!
Shinoa: I see. So that’s what you think. Then, is everyone else of the same opinion?
Yuu: Of course they are! Right? I mean, even Yoichi is here because he wants to make his debut!
Yoichi: Eh? Me? Um, well, I would love to make my debut, but… but it’s not possible for me yet. Just now, I couldn’t do the dance at all…
Shinoa: That’s a difference of opinion, hm?
Yuu: What am I supposed to do about that wimpy attitude?!
Kimizuki: You know, you can’t even follow the rhythm. The one furthest behind is you! Stop acting like our representative! I’ve already decided to debut once my song, dance, and acting are all flawless.
Yuu: Excuse me? You’re saying you didn’t feel anything from my dancing?
Kimizuki: Nothing! First, you need to practice properly-
Yuu: Shut up! My dancing will silence the words of unsophisticated amateurs!
Kimizuki: You’re the amateur, godammit! Or is that also too hard for you to understand?
Yoichi: Now, now, you two-
Yuu & Kimizuki: SHUT UP!
Yoichi: Ehhh?
Shinoa: The same old pattern, huh?
Yuu: Oi, you wanna go, bastard?
Kimizuki: Yeah, bring it on.
Yoichi: C’mon, stop fighting already!
Yuu: We’re not gonna stop, Yoichi!
Kimizuki: Yeah, let’s settle this.
Yuu: Hah, that’s my line!
Yoichi: Aaaah! The speakers!
Kimizuki: That all you got?*
Yoichi: Aaah, the monitor! Hey, Shinoa-san…! (unintelligible), please stop them!
Shinoa: Ehh, what a pain in the- ahem. I mean, don’t hurt yourselves, you guys! It’s okay, someone will be here to stop you any minute now.
Yoichi: Huh?
Guren: I get called in for a special course and see this... what the hell. Shinoa! What happened here?
Shinoa: Yuu-san and Kimizuki-san are fighting like an old married couple as per usual. Incidentally, they’ve broken some equipment today. Ah. Doesn't this count as working together?*
Yuu: Ohoho, Guren! You came at just the right time.
Guren: Huh?
Yuu: Recommend me to be the number one young star in the agency, ‘cause I'm so awesome at it and should be allowed to make my debut early!*
Kimizuki: If anyone's gonna get recommended, it should obviously be me... right?
Yuu: Tch! Ah- ouch!
Guren: Shinoa… do your job properly.
Shinoa: I get paid to give lessons~. Watching over and protecting office equipment… it’s difficult for a cute, weak girl like me.
Guren: You come from a family of celebrities, hailed as a genius since you were a child actress... that's not what I call cute.
Shinoa: Even though I’m this adorable~?
Guren: Jeez, are these guys going to be okay?
Shinoa: Ignoring me, hm? Well, I think they have potential.* But whether or not they'll be able to make their debuts... It depends on the instructor who gives them lessons, don't you think?
Guren: Really? Fine then. In that case, let’s get started on my lesson!
Yuu: All right! I’ll show you my talent!
Guren: I was a Spartan star, you know.* I won’t go easy on you like Shinoa! Before the lesson, strength training! Lateral Workout: One Hundred Pushups! Begin! Until you can get your dance lesson perfect, we'll keep repeating this hundreds of times!
Guren: Theatrical Performance: Emotional Expression! … What the hell is that?! You’re not doing it at all!
Guren: Finally, voice training! Diaphragmatic Breathing: Vocalization Regimen! … All right, that’s enough for today.
Shinoa: Your efforts are much appreciated.
Guren: By the way, I’ll be adding more to tomorrow’s schedule.
Yuu: Seriously?! It’s already mixed up as it is without adding stuff…*
Guren: See ya! Go to sleep early tonight, tomorrow’s gonna be tough. We’ll continue like this till you can make your debut.
Yoichi: N-No way!
Guren: Ah. By the way, Yuuichirou and Kimizuki. I'll deduct the cost of the equipment you broke from your salary.
Shinoa: Students in training school don’t get a salary.
Guren: Oh, that’s right. Heh, in that case, if you ever manage to make your debut for Demon King*, you won’t get paid for about a year, how ‘bout that?
Yuu: Eh-?
Guren: And if you fail the debut or revolt against the agency, I'll just ship you off in a cattle boat!*
Yuu: C-Cattle boat…
Shinoa: I can’t believe he’s teaching so many lessons… Finally living up to expectations*… maybe.
Yoichi: R-Really? ‘Cause somehow I expected this to be fun, but…
Shinoa: But it’s just…
Kimizuki: Just what?
Shinoa: Harassment, right?
Yuu: Definitely…
Yoichi: This is going to continue tomorrow? I might collapse…
Kimizuki: If you slack off, you’ll be fired.
Yuu: Damn it… isn’t there any way to debut faster? Damn! Just because stupid Guren’s a little bit popular! Aarrghh! What should I do to make my debut?!
Kimizuki: Like I know. If I did, I would have done it first.
Yoichi: Me too…
Shinoa: Yoichi-san, Kimizuki-san, you two would also like to make your debut somehow, huh?
Kimizuki: Of course.
Shinoa: If you’re that desperate, I know of a way to do it~
Yuu: Ooh, really?! What is it? Spit it out, Shinoa!
Kimizuki: I would rather debut and start making a name for myself in an unorthodox manner* than continue to be harassed like this.
Yoichi: Me too! I’m ready- ack!
Shinoa: This is something of a cheat, but recently there is the technique of becoming famous by posting your own performances onto the Internet. Therefore, if you can post an enlightening, attention-grabbing video, you might just get closer to your debut.*
Yoichi: A recent technique to become famous, huh?
Kimizuki: But unsigned people have to put in a considerable amount of effort to get attention, no matter what they shoot.
Yoichi: True… then for nobodies like us, it’s impossible after all?
Shinoa: Such crybabies~. Why don't you take an example from your slightly overconfident senpai?
Yuu: What’s the point of being overconfident like Guren?
Shinoa: Who knows, it might be a good idea to involve already-famous celebrities~*
Yoichi: Maybe if we knew someone famous…*
Kimizuki: Newbies like us don’t have celebrity acquaintances, and even if we did, the chances of them cooperating with us are slim...
Yuu: Oh…? Oh! What about him?
Yoichi: Who?
Yuu: Our overconfident senpai!
Kimizuki: No way, you don't mean…
Yuu: He’s popular right now, isn’t he? Guren!
Kimizuki: Are you serious?! There’s no way he would cooperate with us!
Yuu: Huh? Who said anything about cooperation? The point is to get them involved, right?
Yoichi & Kimizuki: Σ(●ꉺ▱ꉺ●)???
———
Yuu: Yoichi! Is the camera good to go?
Yoichi: Y-Yeah, there’s plenty of memory and battery, but…
Yuu: Kimizuki! How’s the lighting?
Kimizuki: It’s fine.
Shinoa: By the way, Yuu-san. Why are we doing a wake-up surprise prank?
Yuu: Guren, the most popular young actor right now, waking up from sleep... that's definitely what everyone wants to see, right? And when they watch the video, they'll see more hot young stars around him! With all the attention this is going to get, we'll become popular in no time!*
Shinoa: Um… I'll refrain from making any statements regarding the probability of success. ‘Cause it sounds interesting.
Kimizuki: Okay, that's great and all, but it's three in the morning! Won't he get mad? We're supposed to be asleep.
Yoichi: L-Let’s not do it! He’s definitely going to be mad!
Shinoa: Worst case scenario, he kills us.
Yoichi: EHHH?!?!
Yuu: C’mon, even Guren understands TV etiquette.* Besides, senpai or not, I don’t care. For the sake of my debut, I’ll use him.
Kimizuki: Where does that useless confidence come from?
Yuu: Who knew that this duplicate key to Guren's room, which I borrowed from the agency manager, would come in handy at a place like this~?
Yoichi: D-Did you really borrow that…? Yuu-kun!!
Yuu: We’re in.
Kimizuki: This… is trespassing, right?
Yuu: There’s someone inside, so it’s okay!
Yoichi: That doesn’t make it okay!!!
Yuu: Good morning! Ah- Yoichi, Kimizuki, c’mere, c’mere!
Yoichi: S-So much space!*
Yuu: As expected of such a big seller! If I get popular, I’ll have a room like this too!
Kimizuki: With this, we’ve cooperated on my debut.
Yuu: Ooh. First, before we barge in and do the wake-up surprise on Guren, let's look for something he wouldn't want to be seen with.
Yoichi: Why are we doing that?
Yuu: For the views, the views!*** A diary, or, uhh... an action figure collection*, you know! If we can get our hands on something that Guren doesn't want exposed...
Kimizuki: It would be easier to get him to cooperate with us, huh?
Yoichi: That is totally blackmail.
Kimizuki: Oi! I found something.
Yuu: Oh? Lemme see.
Shinoa: I’m interested as well.
Yuu: Let’s check inside for his weakness~
Yoichi: Sure enough, it’s blackmail!? But my debut is on the line!
Yuu: What is this? I can’t tell!
Shinoa: It looks like… a lockable diary?
Yuu: Is he a girl?
Yoichi: I-I wonder where the key is?
Yuu: You’re getting into this too, huh, Yoichi?
Yoichi: N-No way!
Shinoa: If he’s hiding something important, the contents have got to be the truth!
Yuu: Mm, all right. Let’s find out the truth! … Ah, it’s pitch black. I don’t hear anything… he must be dead asleep. For now, let’s search for the keys!
Kimizuki: Right!
Shinoa: Right!
Yuu: I’ll check the bookshelf.
Kimizuki: Then I’ll get the closet.
Yoichi: I’ll be looking around the living room.***
Shinoa: Hm? Oh my~
Guren: You lot… what are you doing in my room?
Yuu: Ah, umm… Good morning!! Here is Ichinose Guren-san, after his surprise wake-up!!!*
Guren: Huh?
Shinoa: He’s completely rolling with it.
Yuu: I know this is sudden, but I'm asking Guren's fans all over the country to spread the word that he sleeps without pants on!!***
Guren: Hehehe… pulling this kind of shit… did you really think I’d let you guys get away with it?*
Yoichi: He’s mad!!
Kimizuki: Naturally.
Yuu: No, no, no, no… saying something like that in front of your fans… it’s not very professional!* Mkay, let’s try again!
Kimizuki: Stop! Don’t provoke him any further!
Yoichi: Yeah! Let’s just run already!
Guren: You’ll remember this.
Yuu: Oh! I understand. We’ve got to say something nice about Guren, don’t we?* Everyone, please… don’t forget about Guren! Also, I am Hyakuya Yuuichirou!
Yoichi: Ahh, that’s not what he meant!!
Kimizuki: Idiot!
Guren: The careers* of you three…
Kimizuki: Three? Huh- where’s Shinoa?
Shinoa: Good luck~!
Yoichi: She’s already that far away?!
Kimizuki: We’re leaving too!
Yoichi: W-What about Yuu-kun?
Kimizuki: Leave him! He’s a goner!***
Yuu: Operation Wake-Up Surprise on Ichinose Guren… was a huge success!!!
Guren: It was a huge failure, you idiot!!
———
(Track 2 link again)
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