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ohhiimjazzed · 6 months

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NSFW Alphabet: Macaque Edition

MINORS DNI THIS IS EXPLICIT CONTENT

A - Aftercare (what're they like after sex?)

this bitch is touch-starved but also touch averse at the same time. as someone who is the same, this shit gets complicated. he really wants to cuddle you, but his brain is like "no." but, he still shows you that he still loves you after sex. he whispers praises to you and gets as poetic as he feels like (depends on the mood). he does a little shadow play for you too

B - Body Part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner's)

On himself: His voice

macaque doesn't like a lot of his physical appearance. there were too many scars he endured and he didn't want himself or anyone else to look at them (glamours are there for a reason). but, he loves it when you lose it to the sound of his voice. you've complimented it so much that he starts to like it more than he used to

On you: Your eyes

eye contact? eye contact. he loves staring into those pretty eyes of yours, especially when they're filled with tears from how good it feels. also, eyes are windows to the soul, and he thinks you have a beautiful soul. he likes to stare into your eyes in general and gets distracted by how pretty they are

C - Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he loves marking your sweet little hole with his cum. also, weird idea but he might use it as a protection charm on you. if anyone attacks you and tries something without your consent, boom. the spell takes away whatever appendage tried to touch you. (fingers, dick, etc.). he resets it every month and you're cool with it because it's a deserving punishment for any creeps out there.

D - Dirty Secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he jerked off with your underwear once. he's not proud of it, but you were away and he didn't know how else to satiate the horny at the time. he washed your underwear right after too, but not even the jade emperor can waterboard this information out of him

E - Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

as much as I wanna say that he knows what he's doing. i can't. the only real experience he had was with wukong. but, he's a pretty quick learner and very observant. he'll get down what you like in no time.

F - Favorite Position (this goes without saying)

any position where he can retain eye contact with you. (missionary, cowgirl, etc.) for one thing, he wants to see every expression and every tear. but also, he wants to kiss you anytime he wants. hitting it from the back means he can't do it that easily

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he's a bit more serious when he's in the moment, but that doesn't mean he doesn't know how to have fun. you'll have to be the one cracking the joke though.

H - Hair (how groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?)

like wukong, it's fur. so, the carpet does match the drapes. he's got the prettiest black fur too. Macaque will keep it trimmed for you if you wanna go down on him just so a piece of fur doesn't get in your mouth.

I - Intamacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

if it's your first time, he wants it to be romantic. sex is a way people show that they love each other. later in your sex life, he'll start to do less of that, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore. macaque just likes it rough, okay?

J - Jerk-Off (masturbation headcanon)

Macaque wanks one out when you're gone for a long period of time. we have the incident with the underwear up above, but that was a one-time thing, he swears. he mostly asks for a nude or two to keep him satisfied. he'll do the same thing for you.

K - Kinks (one or more of their kinks)

Dacryphilia: macaque wants to see TEARS when it happens. not like "ow i'm in pain" tears, like "this feels so good and I don't know how else to express it" tears

Nyctophilia (i think it's called that): bro wants to have sex in the dark sometimes. shadows are his thing and he'll be able to do some of his shadow magic to spice things up (with your permission of course). he can also see pretty well in the dark so he'll see your beautiful body no problem

L - Location (favorite places to do the do)

Macaque is a simple man, and likes it in the bedroom. He knows that no one else but him can look at you that way. You're his pretty mate, he can't let anyone else see you with your legs spread and arousal dripping from between your legs

M - Motivation (what turns them on/gets them going?)

like Wukong, he has a heat/rut cycle too. that's the easiest way to get him going (which is more of a biological thing than anything else). he also loves it when you trail a finger up and down his torso, getting real close to his dick. if he doesn't stop you, then you're in the clear

N - No (something they're not willing to do/a turn off)

nothing with blood, or any other bodily fluid like that. for blood, either he or you will have to get hurt, and he doesn't want to give you any kind of scars just to get off on it.

he's a no on the other fluids because it's gross (piss, shit, vomit, etc.)

O - Oral (preference in giving, receiving, their skill, etc.)

SUCK. HIS. DICK. He says he doesn't like it, but he's bad at hiding. He'll let you know if he wants oral. GOD. he will be WRITHING. He loves a good 69 too. having you moan against his dick is a *chef's kiss* to him

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Macaque is a tease when it comes to his pace. At first, he'll go as slow as he feels like before you're begging for him to keep going. He likes when you squirm underneath him.

Q - Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He doesn't really do them. He likes to take his time when you have sex, so having the pressure of getting it done and over with isn't for him. He can't memorize your every curve if you're having a quickie in the public bathroom or something.

R - Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's game for a lot of things as long as it's not something like exhibitionism, blood play, knife play, or any other weapon play. You're his, first of all, and weapons should stay out of the bedroom. Macaque isn't training while in bed.

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

It's not as long as Wukong's, but he's got a decent amount of stamina. He's still a demon so it's wildly inhuman, but Macaque has spent a little bit more time with humans so he knows their limits.

T - Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Macaque owns two vibrators. One he uses on you, the other he uses on himself. No I will not elaborate.

U - Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

This little SHIT. Teases you until the dacryphilia kicks in. He loves it when you squirm and whine and beg for him. If he's in the mood for it, Macaque will edge you.

V - Volume (how loud are they? what sounds do they make?)

He groooooaaaans. You can hear it rumbling in his throat while he's pounding you into the mattress. He'll groan in your ear if you don't mind it, especially if you have a voice kink. Honestly, you probably do have one if you simp for Macaque.

W - Wild Card (a random headcanon)

It will have to take some time, but Macaque will try and speak to Wukong again.

X - X -ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

about 6.5 inches, decent girth. Not too big, not too small.

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I'd say twice a week is good enough to satisfy him. Macaque is not as horny as Wukong, but he's definitely freakier. You won't have sex too often, but you know it'll be good when it comes.

Z - ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Will not sleep until you're taken care of and in his arms. He's a bit of a night owl anyways, so he'll watch you sleep for a bit after you've passed out and admire you.

-----------------------------------

Thank you for reading!!! <3

#lmk x reader #lmk smut #lego monkie kid #lmk #macaque #lmk macaque #macaque x reader #macaque smut #lego monkiekid x reader #monkiekid x reader

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mittensmorgul · 1 year

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okay, i think at least one of my thoughts on this episode is beginning to congeal into something... Gabriel

and I’m gonna call him Gabriel for the sake of expediency, because I do think that’s who it is. let me explain.

first off, they name checked Tall Tales in a bit of throwaway dialogue. but I heard it. (i’ll rewatch tomorrow when it’s on the cw app and get the exact quote, but it was just weird enough as dialogue that it felt deliberately inserted there)

then there’s what we DO know about Gabriel’s timeline, mostly from things he himself said in canon. in 5.08:

You don't know anything about my family. I love my father, my brothers. Love them. But watching them turn on each other? Tear at each other's throats? I couldn't bear it! Okay? So I left. And now it's happening all over again.

I always believed he was referencing the ORIGINAL fight between Michael and Lucifer here, when Luci ended up crammed in the cage. That’s what he ran from. At the beginning of Humanity on Earth. And he’d been playing Loki for... look let’s call it at least thousands of years. And Loki? in 13.20:

GABRIEL: Oh, well… We were. A few thousand epochs ago, I was out for a hike in the fjords. Came across Loki bound in a cave, snake dripping venom into his eye. Ugh. Apparently, he had some spat with his pops. Anyhoo, I freed him. Saved his life. Then my real brothers started going at it. I wanted out. Loki owed me one, so… he helped me ditch Gabriel and become him. DEAN: So then you took on his whole… trickster vibe. SAM: What did Loki do while you were impersonating him? GABRIEL: Oh. Well, he had his own family drama to worry about. It was in his best interest to go off the grid for a while. DEAN: But you saw him in Monte Carlo. GABRIEL: Well, I needed someplace to hide. He'd already helped me the once.

So both of them were out and about. even if they were both staying off grid as it were. And I always assumed that Loki only came back out after he heard of Gabriel’s “outing” and “death”-- and Odin’s actual death-- in 5.19.

But circling back around to the Tall Tales reference... it took me a while to see how it could be Gabriel. He had two modes: hoist the deserving upon their own petard, and teach people he actually finds interesting lessons they need to learn. And weirdly... this turned out to be the latter. And it feels even more like an Important Lesson that needed to be learned with Chuck literally sitting in the backup band. Even if that was just supposed to be some random musical group, you know? In a meta way, that’s still Chuck.

(and the role even fit’s Chuck’s known history, thanks Robbie... playing all sorts of music clubs, just having relationships, etc., but that’s all really beside the point to this)

Gabriel... was playing pretty much the same game he did on Sam and Dean way back in 2.15. Like... exactly the game he’s always played on them right up until they finally caught him in 5.08.

Why do you think I've always taken such an interest in you? Because from the moment Dad flipped on the lights around here, we knew it was all gonna end with you. Always.

And that feels like the EXACT reason he would’ve taken an interest in Sam and Dean’s parents, too.

But also in all the episodes of spn that dealt with Trickster lore, and actual Loki lore, there was never a mention of a mirror. Or of being able to kill any of them with a shiny blade covered in blood and whatever spell they did. It was always a special stake. And Gabriel actually did eventually kill Loki... with a special wooden sword. Not a shiny blade.

So, why the deviation in lore? I know we’ve been asking this throughout The Winchesters, but this feels really important here, as well as having a potential explanation immediately to hand: that Gabriel set up all of it. He just wanted to play up close and personal with the Winchesters, maybe pass off a little lesson if he could. But also, regardless, it’s another nod to an angel in the series, and those are really beginning to pile up without actually showing us a real angel. And I’m entirely bemused by that on its own.

#the winchesters #spnwin s1 spoilers #spnwin 1.08 #gabriel

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papirouge · 11 months

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NEVER forget despite what pathological liars say, mainstream medias were in their vast majority, pro Amber.

Social media/the people, on the other hand, was siding with Johnny.

That's why so many pro Amber freaked out at the actual hate movement against Amber : they simply cannot stomach the fact that media don't control people anymore and that the common citizen can now make their own voice heard (no pun intended) loud and clear.

It was very interesting to see pro Heard complain about "the media circus" surrounding this case, as if the "society of spectacle" wasn't already a well documented observation of modern communications dynamics for the last few decades - and most importantly, not exclusive to the Depp v Heard case or society's (alleged) rampant misogyny.....

They precisely act like legacy medias which, feeling their power & influence significantly lowering by the time, attempt to remove any credibility to grassroot reinfo movement, calling them conspiracy theorists, fake news, etc.

... this reminds you of something? Pro Heard obsessively called the movement in support of Johnny "PR smear campaign" or bots. It wouldn't remotely occur to them that Johnny Depp overwhelming support in the general public was genuine, and could be rationally explained by the fact he's been one of Hollywood's most popular actor for decades with iconic roles (Edward Scissorhands, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sleepy Hollow, Cry Baby, etc.) and mostly importantly interpreted one of Disney live action movie most beloved character: Jack Sparrow. Heard was a literally a 'who' next to him, which explains why she would never be able to leverage support in such a conflicting case (so no, it doesn't necessarily has to be misogyny)

They are obsessed in controlling the narrative, even if that means lying consistently about factual reality.

Look at them obsessively keeping tabs on whoever liked Johnny Depp first post trial Instagram post, and making entire lists off of them to be canceled....

Unsurprisingly they also suddenly started cussing out popular jury who aren't "law professionals" just because the court decision didn't give the ruling they expected... Those activists pretending to care about the people are actually the biggest elitists.

Their coping about "the tide is turning" or "I can't wait for the documentary exposing how we all wronged Amber Heard" never fails making me wonder: "who's the we?" Mainstream media were and are still in their vast majority pro Heard. The general public? They mostly moved on and rejoiced at Depp winning his case. They will never apologize or feel sorry for Heard because they don't think she deserves any apology. People don't owe nothing to celebrities. Crime of thought or opinion isn't a thing.

This is the internet: Amber Heard is not the first, last, or the only laughing stock it collectively decided to pick on for any season. And the internet will never feel sorry. Deal with it.

Tbh I also blame the #freebritney movement that made too many of you believe that TMZ and paparazzi harassing celebrities represented regular citizens and that people actively sought out to ruin her... Zoomers don't seem to grasp early 00s people were much more removed from "field reportreport" as we are today, which means they had a more apathetic perspective on celebrity struggles. If media decided to milk this repentance shtick regarding their collective coverage of Britney antics back then to revamp their image, that's on them, but expecting this dynamic onto random people (not media news) who didn't have any say on media narrative is wishful thinking....

Amber Heard is none of your friend, sister, wife or mother. None of you know her. None of you talked to her, and never will. So it's weird to me how some of you are hellbent acting like we owed anything to her.

Why elevating your parasocial involvement in a millionaire celebrity civil case as a cautionary tale for ALL women?

#just some thoughts before going to sleep #papi watch #Amber Heard #Johnny Depp

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doctordaddysir · 2 years

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There are very few people or blogs that I block or unfollow, because most of the time I realize not every one is perfect, and we all have things we disagree on.

HOWEVER, I will say those I have blocked vehemently deserve it because it takes a lot for me.

I do not tag blogs like that in a post because it just gives them more fuel and more notoriety.

Many of you will know the blogs I refer to and those of you that follow or reblog their stuff, just know I won't block or unfollow you but I seriously hope you look deeper and see the manipulation, gaslighting, and shit starting that they do and realize they are not good people.

If you do something to help someone out of a bad situation, if you feel compelled to help a person who is being abused, mistreated, etc, that's fantastic of you and I wish more people would just jump in and help. What you DON'T fucking do is do that thinking they somehow OWE you something. What you don't fucking do is tell others "well I helped them, I figure they owe me". Oh hell no. No one owes you a damn thing. What kind of self centered, egomaniacal shit is that. If you help someone you do it out of the kindness of your heart, you don't do it with expectations or clauses built in.

Another blog, who I blocked long ago because of how manipulative and condescending and "I know everything and what I say is the best advice ever, period" their blog seemed to be. This person constantly demanded people to block, attack, go after certain blogs, mostly without proof, or just made horrible leaps into accusations that were amazingly without merit. This blogger is the worst of the worst to me. She asked over and over for people to attack, block, get blogs terminated, etc but the second that someone spins that around and starts posting, with some evidence, that someone she likes a lot and follows like a disciple is possibly an abuser, or at the very least a super manipulative ego driven person her response is to just make a blanket statement that the person is mentally ill and needs prayers and support. What the actual hell is that other than gas lighting?

Seriously, I'm fed up. I have friends here all over the place and most know that I'm a pretty level headed person. I'm not going to demand or tell anyone to block, attack, defend, or follow anyone but I will say to seriously step back, take a look at everything in bigger pictures and realize that if you are reblogging content from someone that is that manipulative maybe you're doing harm to those they have attacked and manipulated.

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donnerpartyofone · 2 years

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I made the mistake (well, it had no consequences, but it was pointless!) of asking Quora how NPD is treated, because it's something I've always been curious about, and of course I got this long pompous answer from a "former consultant child psychotherapist" about how "mental illness" doesn't really exist, it's just a diversionary metaphor forced on the world of emotions by the medical industry, and also any psychology professional who claims to specialize in anything in particular "has lost their way". Like, I have long since realized that people use Quora almost exclusively to work out their own personal problems--I'm lucky I didn't hear from someone who tells me to "buckle up" for an answer in the form of a long story about how they hate their mom or whatever--but I still think there are ways of answering my question that could avoid troubling taxonomy issues.

What I was getting at was, for instance, when I was being treated for depression, we were really addressing my feelings of self-hatred and unworthiness--and not that that's EASY exactly, but in the grand scheme of things it's not so bad when a professional tells you that it's ok to like yourself more, to acknowledge your own virtues, and learn to treat yourself as a deserving person instead of punishing and depriving yourself all the time, and subjecting yourself to other people's abuses. I imagine that, on the other hand, if your problem is that you consider yourself way more deserving than everyone else, and you expect everyone to react to you with fawning admiration and loyalty no matter how you torture them, and you're mostly in pain because you can't understand why other people don't reflect back your grandiose fantasies about how superior you are...then what an honest therapist would have to say to you could be way harder to hear, than "you're BETTER than you think and you should give yourself MORE credit, etc."

I think about people I've known who were constantly weaving elaborate jerkoff fantasies about themselves and their personal importance, and how obvious it was that their problems were rooted in that difference between how they thought of themselves and how the world responded to them, and the elephant in the room with all their friends was always "Too bad we can't just tell X that they need to be less obsessed with themselves, and more considerate of other people, too bad they're making it really clear that facing that reality would send them to a rubber room--and anyone who has ever confronted them is immediately banished and shunned anyway." Like someone who is always obsessing over how everyone should worship them is not going to want to hear that their exact problem is that no one owes them worship. I'm thinking of my ex who used to absolutely lose his mind if he wasn't greeted at every door with bowing and scraping--even if the ones who failed to celebrate his arrival were animals or five year old children. I'm thinking of how he accused people who actually liked him of harboring secret insulting thoughts about him, just because they didn't grovel for him like peasants. I'm thinking of one night when we weren't even dating anymore, at about 4am, he chatted me a set of instructions for his funeral, which included loading his corpse into a space rocket to be shot into the sun; he was trying to position this as a way of completeting obliterating himself, like it was really humble of him to want to be annihilated like that, like this was not the single most expensive, ostentatious, attention-starved thing he'd ever dreamed up about himself in his whole pathetically narcissistic life. How do you tell THAT guy that he has narcissistic personality disorder, and that he'll be a lot happier when he stops believing he has to be the God of everybody? Surprising no one, Quora cannot answer my questions, but I'd still love to know.

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andcontemplation · 2 years

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What if hopper and Joyce don't end up having romantic chemistry? They have mastered the "will they or won't they" chapter. It's been so long and I'm actually nervous that it won't be as special once they actually cross that threshold.

I hate to say it, but it probably won’t be as special for them in the end, regardless if they have romantic chemistry or not… I have a distinct feeling Jopper is about to go way of TV Tropes’ Shipping Bed Death or your scenario of True Love is Boring. The way I see it, there’s only a few ways their story can play out imo and really only one true path the show will take for our two lovebirds.

Joyce and Hopper finally get together only to discover…

Scenario 1 (the nsfw one) - they only have chemistry in bed. Joyce and Hopper decide they are Better As Friends, and see each other sometimes when they feel the kids should spend the holidays together. And occasionally boink, ofc. This doesn’t work out at all and one or both end up jealous and even more unhappy, maybe even blaming one another for why they can’t work. They basically go back to where they were in the first episode ever. But there’s been a bit too much character growth for this one to happen I think. Also, see Belligerent Sexual Tension...

Scenario 2 (the unlikely one) - they have zero chemistry. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Etc. Aka the relationship equivalent of wet noodles. There’s an amicable break up and they move on to date different people. I don’t know about anyone else, but I really feel like ST is invested in a “Happily Ever After” ending for all the main characters, especially the Byers-Hopper clan. Unless they’re going to play this up as jealous Hopper (which they already did in S2) or jealous Joyce (maybe?) and start the will-they-won’t-they trope again. Or maybe they just do what my friend's parents did growing up and become Platonic Life Partners? They won’t have time to explore this Jopper ending in-depth though, and also I think Winona and David have far too much chemistry as actors… I just don’t see this scenario happening. If it did though, it's the definition of True Love is Boring.

Scenario 3 (the one we deserve) - all they do is fight. Because that’s all they know how to do with each other when they spend a significant amount of time together! They get to the point of wondering if they should break up and see other people, only for one (or both) to realize that a committed relationship doesn’t actually come easy once you’ve exchanged the first magical I Love You’s. Especially between two deeply stubborn people like Joyce Byers and Jim Hopper. They decide to work on it (‘for the kids’) and show great progress at the very end of the series. They get to say 'I do' in the end and we get a very realistic representation of a somewhat healthy, middle aged relationship on television. Huzzah!

Scenario 4 (the one we’re getting) - it’s pure, boring candyfloss fluff. They finally hook up, maybe even get married, and roleplay Yours Mine and Ours. They still bicker, but Like An Old Married Couple. The show gives them approximately 40 min of screen time in the entirety of ST5 where they mostly hold hands and make heart-eyes at each other, or act as fodder for the kids to go “ew, gross!” The fans are happy they're happy, but we are all left feeling hollow. We live out our Jopper dreams in fanfic and fanart after the show ends. Womp womp :(

Personally, I’m setting my expectations low here. Like, low-low. I don't expect to see much of them, or their relationship when they finally do get together, just because there’s a million other plotlines to resolve in only a dozen episodes. But I am still very hopeful they at least get their happy ending, no matter how cloyingly sweet and boring it is. The writers owe it to them, after everything they’ve been through!

#great question and thoughts!#asks #answered #are there any other potential endings/tropes I missed??#writing this up while I make dinner!

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csa-survivor-confessions · 1 year

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(?)

What even IS CSA? Not what is it really, of course, but how do people who do it masquerade as good people? How can they walk around and laugh and love and eat ice cream but either have done or are currently doing this terrible thing to a child? Are brains truly that compartmentalized? (I realize this is all over the place— just looking for some sense and/ or commiseration)

Hello,

I do not have all the answers, but there is some research on who usually commits child sexual abuse and their psychology.

Some facts about abusers

Relation To Victim:

4% were unmarried partners of a parent (1)

5% were “other” [from siblings to strangers] (1)

6% were other relatives (1)

80% of perpetrators were a parent (1)

About 90% of children who are victims of sexual abuse know their abuser. (2)

Demographics of Abusers:

47,000 men and 5,000 women were the alleged perpetrators (1)

Homosexual [gay/lesbian] individuals are no more likely to sexually abuse children than heterosexual individuals. (4)

In 88% of the sexual abuse claims that CPS substantiates or finds supporting evidence of, the perpetrator is male. In 9% of cases, they are female, and 3% are unknown(1)

Juveniles make up 20% of those arrested for sex offenses (3)

Up to 1/3 of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by another minor in USA & UK (5)

In England and Wales police between 2017 and 2020. Out of a sample size of 11,840 incidents of intrafamilial sexual abuse, 24% were between siblings. 73% of the siblings who were harmed were female and 26% were male; 74% of the siblings who were harmed were male and 7% were female (6)

Perpetrators of abuse that was digital or began digital before becoming contact CSA were mostly men (7,8,9, 10)

---

It's also known that not all perpetrators of sexual abuse can not hold on to normal relationships. They are often in what's considered an "appropriate" romantic and/or sexual relationship. These relationships can be seen as utilitarian or they can be emotionally fulfilling. Abusers can be capable of caring towards people who aren't their victims, or at least believe they are in a healthy relationship. The sexual violence committed again the child is often about both sexual interest and control. (12, 13, 14)

Another reason people search out using young people for their gratification is that they might feel like they don't otherwise have power. If they feel powerless in life or have a history of being a victim of abuse and a lack of autonomy. They offend to get this need for control and power met. This does not excuse behavior at all, but this is a reason people report. (11)

As you mentioned, compartmentalization is seen in people who commit CSA and any forms of SA. Brains are very good at putting barriers around emotions, thoughts, and urges. Then abusers can build schemas where they are good people separate from the harm they do. (11, 12, 13)

There are also heavy cognitive distortions. They convince themselves they are not hurting someone. This and compartmentalization answer why they can go around like nothing is happening. They might also believe that they are owed sex, that they deserve to do this, or that the child has to be sexually abused for some reason. (13)

We have good data also that sexual violence is a learned behaviour across all sexual harm (harassment, molestation, rape, incest, digital abuse etc.). This is some of our most solid evidence. This does not mean that most victims of CSA will abuse others if something to consider. And the link is complicated, not just being sexually abused, but experiencing other kinds of trauma or mental health issue (13, 14, 16)

Offenders are not always paedophiles, partially due to picky definitions but also because, as we mentioned before, power is a huge factor. Some people abuse all ages and this is often solely about power and control. Some have particular age groups, this can be for paraphilic reasons or having a paedophilic disorder. Some people offend solely via child sexual abuse materials, and people who exploit kids for money. All of this is about power. Some are more based on re-playing trauma, some are about compensating for their own emotional deficits, and some are due to be only interested in kids. (13, 14,15)

So I do hope some of this helps! I know it got a bit wonky but I wanted to make sure I gave you real information from professionals as well as some of my thoughts from further reading then I remembered/researched recently enough to find the studies.

Be Blessed,

-Admin 2

Citations:

(1)United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children’s Bureau. Child Maltreatment Survey, 2016 (2018).

(2)Finkelhor, D. (2012). Characteristics of crimes against juveniles. Durham, NH: Crimes against Children Research Center.

(3)Hanson, R., Harris, A.J.R., Helmus, L., & Thornton, D. (2014). High-risk sex offenders may not be high risk forever. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 29(15), 2792-2813. doi:10.1177/0886260514526062

(4)Jenny, Carole, Roesler, Thomas A. , Poyer, Kimberly L. (1994) Are children at risk for sexual abuse by homosexuals? Pediatrics, Vol. 94 No. 1

(5) Yates, P., & Allardyce, S. (2021). Sibling sexual abuse: A knowledge and practice overview. London: Centre of Expertise on Child Sexual Abuse

(6) Adams, A., & Crosby, E. (2022). Establishing the prevalence of sibling sexual abuse as reported to and recorded by police forces across England and Wales. RCEW National Sibling Sexual Abuse Project.

(7) Aslan, D. and Edelmann, R. (2014). Demographic and offence characteristics: a comparison of sex offenders convicted of possessing indecent images of children, committing contact sex offences or both offences. The Journal of Forensic

Psychiatry & Psychology, 25(2), 121-134

(8) Buschman, J., Wilcox, D., Krapohl, D., Oelrich, M. and Hackett, S. (2010b). Cybersexoffender risk assessment: an explorative study. Journal of Sexual Aggression, 16(2), 197-209.

(9) Tener, D., Wolak, J. and Finkelhor, D. (2015). A typology of offenders who use online communications to commit sex crimes against minors. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 24, 319-337.

(10)DeMarco, J., Sharrock, S., Crowther, T., & Barnard, M. (2018). Behaviour and Characteristics of Perpetrators of Online-facilitated Child Sexual Abuse and Exploitation. Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse (IICSA).

(11)Walker, K., Pilinger, C., & Brown, S. (2018). Characteristics and motivations of perpetrators of child sexual exploitation. Child Sexual Exploitation Perpetrators Research Programme. Retrieved January 1, 2023, from https://www.csacentre.org.uk/documents/characteristics-motivations-cse/.

(12)California Department of Justice, & ,, M. and F. A. S. A., California Megan's Law (2017). California Government. Retrieved January 7, 2023, from https://www.meganslaw.ca.gov/mobile/Education_MythsAndFacts.aspx.

(13) Office of Justice Programs , Faupel, S., & Przybylski, R., Chapter 2: Etiology of Adult Sexual Offending (2015). SMART. Retrieved January 7, 2023, from https://smart.ojp.gov/somapi/chapter-2-etiology-adult-sexual-offending.

(14)YouTube. (2019). Types of Sex Offenders: A Forensic Psychologist's Perspective. Dr. Jeff Kieliszewski, Forensic Psychologist. Retrieved January 7, 2023, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqgADTRHndo&list=WL&index=10&ab_channel=Dr.JeffKieliszewski%2CForensicPsychologist.

15)University of Kent. (2016). Sexual Offending: Measuring and understanding paedophilic sexual interest. YouTube. Retrieved January 7, 2023, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrVlyahXoOg&list=WL&index=11&ab_channel=UniversityofKent.

16) What is a pedophilic disorder? (2020). YouTube. Retrieved January 7, 2023, from https://www.youtube.com/@AvaMason1.

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kathuman · 1 year

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FINAL message from me and I will be done: About “They’re human people they are allowed to be political. If you disagree with their politics, that’s fine?”, If they are politicians or in private, yes. The problem is that when actors go publicly political (liberal or conservative), they drag the IP out of escapism and into the political field and cause division. Even worse, if some actors years later turned out to be abusers, it will trait the brand. Best way to avoid that is no actors at all.

Nah. You can't limit discussion of politics to just politicians, this shit affects literally everyone, especially when civil rights stuff is going on. People need to be vocal and have every right to be, especially on their OWN accounts.

NO ONE owes you silence on things affecting their lives, or the lives of others, just so you can live under a rock. Like legit just don't follow them, mute/block liberally and curate your own timeline to avoid what you don't want to see. It's on you, not other people, to avoid what you don't like.

Frankly fandoms cause enough division themselves with nonsense infighting over absolutely nothing so 🤷🏼‍♀️ That's always gonna happen regardless. I mostly keep out of fandoms because so many are hostile places. Even Monster Hunter, the one fandom I'm really active in, is filled with weird ass arguments, harassment, and bullying.

But yeah, like it sucks finding out people you thought were cool are garbage terfs/ think not everyone deserves human rights/etc, but if they speak that stuff publicly then companies can choose to no longer work with them. (Whether it's just to save face or because they actually do care)

And as for the abuser shit, yeah, that can happen whether there is voice acting or not so I don't see how that's an argument here. Some people suck ass is that a reason to tank an entire chunk of an industry just so you can have false peace of mind? Doesn't make sense. Do you feel that way about live action actors, authors, and other folks in the creative field? I mean twitch streamers and youtube folks are constantly showing their whole asses but does that mean no one should make videos? To me that is not really a logical argument against VA. Its impossible to avoid that some people in any industry will be bastards, the key is when its found out they need to be ousted (unfortunately that part doesn't happen as perminantly or regularly as it should but that is a separate conversation)

Also we desperately need more time between pokemon games. Game freak is putting out buggy, fucked up games because their alloted time is not enough to make a solid, polished title. I feel genuinely bad for the devs. They work on a 100% unreasonable timeline. So idk delaying their games might be good, or could put them in even more crunch. Though frankly idk why you think they'd have to delay it for voice acting? If they decided to add VA it would likely be at the start of the dev process, not at the end of it, so they'd get that all reccorded in time for everything else.

#not art #anon

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janetbrown711 · 3 years

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“Why are you so nice to me” wakko or yakko max

To Wakko's delight, his brother kept good on his promise. Weeks passed and his brother devoted several days to restoring their bond just as it once was (the other days Yakko spent with Dot or with the both of them).

Heck, Wakko was so secure in his brother not abandoning him when Yakko asked if he could start up writing to Max again (at a much slower pace than before, he promised), Wakko said yes (barely) without hesitation. He knew that Max made him happy... and that he kinda owed it to Yakko to let him hang out with him again, as their little "not exactly falling out" was his fault (to him, anyway).

Everything was starting to seem... good- perfect, even.

However, Dot's birthday was rapidly approaching and Yakko was starting to get ideas.

"You know what we should do?" He said, lounging on the couch in the sunroom. "We should throw a ball for your birthday, Dot."

Dot perked up from her book. "What? Why? We never held balls for our birthdays before."

Yakko rolled his eyes. "That's because Grandma ruins everything. In this book I'm reading it says it was tradition for the royal family to hold big celebrations on their birthdays. I think it'd be fun- plus a great opportunity for you two to start making some friends."

Oh.

This again.

Wakko tried to laugh it off. "You'd have to get mum and dad to agree, and they've been pretty busy with the flooding in the west."

"Bah, that's mostly dealt with at this point. I'm sure they could use the break too," Yakko countered.

"B-but mom's coronation wasn't even that long ago," Wakko argued.

"It was over three months ago," Dot rolled her eyes. "I think a party would be fun," she looked to Yakko.

"Didn't you have fun at mom's coronation?" Yakko asked his middle sibling.

"Well I- I suppose I did..." Wakko thought back to the massive chalk drawing he had covered the floor with. It was pretty fun, and it made a lot of people happy.

"See? I'm sure a party in Dot's honor would be fun all the same- plus, making friends is great, I'm sure you'll love it," Yakko said with a reassuring smile on his face, though Wakko still wasn't quite convinced. However, he could see how much both of his siblings wanted this (even though the idea was only seconds old) and who was he to say no?

"Alright, I guess we can do that," He said, which made Dot clap in excitement as she began to detail everything she'd want for a party in her honor.

Wakko had a feeling this was going to be interesting.

.o0o.

As expected, their parents were ecstatic at the idea, and they spared no expense in attempts to create what they believed a much-needed celebration for the people of Warnerstock and their allies.

And to say it truly was Dot's creative vision would not be false. There were a lot of pinks- a lot, a lot of pinks. Though mostly tasteful, if you saw it it was hard to look away from.

But still, Wakko was happy for her, she was having the time of her life planning it all out with their dad, who was equally happy to spoil his little girl.

However, he knew deep down that despite what Yakko had sworn, her party was probably going to be very different from the coronation. He hoped it would be fun, but the more he watched decorations being put into place and talks about the guests and feasts the more he was beginning to worry.

He didn't say anything though, as the rest of his family seemed far too happy for him to want to bother them with his plight. They deserved this break, he was probably just being dramatic anyways. He'd be fine- and maybe make a friend just like Yakko said he would.

Wakko did his best to remain optimistic, despite the knots forming deep within.

It wasn't too long before the grand day arrived. Wakko had thought they had pulled out all the stops just for decorating but the day itself was insane too. Dot was showered in presents and even was taken out to town with William to go shopping for anything her heart desired, meanwhile Yakko, Wakko, and Lena stayed behind and supervised the final touches on the decorations.

Okay- really only Lena supervised, but Yakko and Wakko were technically there too. They didn't stay with her long, as she gave them a list of things to check up on so she could talk to some people which they were fine with.

Together, the brothers walked through the massive dining hall, checking curtains, flowers, vases, tapestries, etc. to make sure they were in the exact right places (not that the list really said where they were supposed to be) and checked them all off.

"So... are you looking forward to tonight?" Yakko asked, checking off 'left-most curtains'.

"Oh- uh- Yeah! I am... are you?" Wakko quickly said.

"Oh yeah, totally, it'll be great to see Max. It's been a while... you're still cool with that, right?" Yakko glanced down at him before checking another thing off.

Wakko nodded. "I won't try to prank or drive him away this time, I swear."

Yakko snorted. "I know you know better, I'm just asking if you're okay with me hanging out with him for tonight instead of you."

"Yeah, I am. You did say I should make friends after all," Wakko said, fiddling with gloves. Yakko looked away from the checklist and gave his little brother a side hug.

"I'm proud of you, you know that?" Yakko asked.

"Yeah, yeah," It was Wakko's turn to laugh.

"I'm serious-" Yakko let go and punched Wakko's arm lightly. "You're doing great. You should be proud of yourself too, you've come a long way."

Wakko smiled a little. "Maybe."

Yakko chuckled. "Well, it looks like we're just about done with this list. Wanna go turn it in to mom and go get changed into uncomfortable suits and greet guests for hours on end, or do you wanna just double and triple check the list until the last second?"

"Definitely check the list," Wakko laughed too.

And so the brothers did, until Lena caught wind of their shenanigans and forced them to start getting ready for the party (though they did cut a lot of time so technically they still regarded it as a win). At least those outfits weren't the worst they've ever worn (they were pretty confident nothing would ever top how itchy and miserable their funeral outfits were). Still, standing around and greeting people was a dreadfully boring job, not to mention awkward until their father and Dot eventually came to join them and actually do their job properly.

They knew their mom was busy, but leaving the two of them in charge was a little questionable.

Plus, after all that interaction, Wakko was starting to feel weird. Tired, but also not-? It was complicated. All he knew was that he wanted to be alone and maybe pace for a while, that'd be nice.

However, the party was to start in not too long, so he really didn't have time for that. He followed Yakko around for a while to the main party room where the people they had greeted before were all chatting amongst themselves. It wasn't too loud yet, but Wakko's tail twitched nervously as he weaved between people and conversations.

He hadn't been this nervous at the coronation- Wakko really wished he could figure out why he was feeling this way. Alas, he was unable.

He did feel a little better as Yakko and he found a spot of their own to chill in for a while, away from all the people.

"A lot of people came to this shindig, huh?" Yakko joked, "though probably no more than those who attended mom's coronation."

"Yeah..." Wakko said, trying to compare them mentally.

"More kids though, which is really good for you and Dot to make friends," Yakko said.

"Yep, yep," Wakko feigned enthusiasm.

"Are you okay..?" Yakko asked, causing Wakko to straighten out his act instantly and nod.

"Of course," he said. Yakko frowned.

"You don't have to lie you know," He remarked. Wakko bit his lip.

"M'just a little tired," he shrugged, figuring it was close enough to the truth.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Yakko asked worriedly.

Wakko nodded again. "I'll be fine, I'm probably just hungry."

Yakko laughed a little. "Alright, but you'll tell me if anything is wrong, right?"

"Mhm."

"Good."

The brothers stood in a bored silence for a while, before the rest of their family walked in and the festivities officially began.

It started with the feast, which was pretty harmless, as Wakko enjoyed talking with his family and the food was "quite excellent". The hall was filled with good cheer and hearty laughter, which he could appreciate.

However, after that, things began to blur.

It seemed only moments ago he was eating when suddenly everything was taken away and it turned into social hour. and Dot and their parents disappeared once more. He recalled Yakko asking if it was okay for him to go to Max, to which Wakko nodded and even pushed him away some. Oh god- he hoped that wasn't too aggressive.

Now he was alone. People were talking, walking, dancing, all sorts of activities. Wakko tried to take it all in, but all of the colors and sounds were starting to burn his eyes.

Friends. He was told he had to make friends.

He tried looking around for kids his age, but just turning his head made him dizzy.

Hmph.

Still, he was determined to function as a normal child would so he began weaving through the rapidly shifting crowd as he had earlier, just with a much louder and more busy crowd.

Suddenly his suit was starting to feel a lot more uncomfortable than before. God- if he could just find someone-

He bumped right into a lady in a bright purple dress. He quickly stuttered an apology before scurrying away as fast as he could, not even waiting for a response.

Seriously- was his suit trying to choke him? He pulled on it desperately, but if anything it just made the pull tighter. Wakko growled to himself as he walked further and further away from whoever that lady was, until he hit the wall.

At least the marble was cool, it was starting to feel like it was a million degrees in here.

Still, it wasn't enough. he still felt hot, and stuffy- was he even breathing anymore?

...Yes, yes he was. Rather fast though- oh dear, was that his heart? oh god- what was happening? Why was the music so loud? Why was his collar so tight? When was the last time he blinked? Where were these "kids" Wakko was supposed to make friends with?

Wait- no, he could see those. A group of them- shit, they were looking at him. Wakko noticed his nail was twitching nervously- he grabbed it and forced it to stop, but the kids laughed.

Wakko ran away again, covering his ears, his face turning red and the knot in his stomach transporting itself to his throat.

"No, no, no, no. Please, not now..." He pleaded with himself, but he didn't listen, and tears started to form. Wakko looked desperately for a quick way out, but still couldn't find any- curse the size of this place.

However, as his eyes darted around anxiously, he spotted something- a table covered in a white cloth that went to the ground. Without hesitation, Wakko went to it, making sure no one saw him before crawling underneath.

Wakko stayed there, covering his ears and rocking back and forth awhile, cursing his stupid brain for making these stupid tears that wouldn't end. He also cursed the stupid music for being too loud and the guests for being so many.

He wanted Mom.

He wanted mom to come and find him and scoop him up and take him to the playroom and sit in the rocking chair and rock him to sleep.

However, she didn't come.

No one did.

He was alone, and these tears weren't making him any calmer. Everything still felt so loud- it wasn't this loud before- he loved mom's coronation. Why was his brain so stupid?!

The young prince continued like that for a while, before someone came and lifted the tablecloth. He tried to make a run for it, but the someone grabbed his arm before he could- Wakko turned to look at their face and-

It was Max.

"S-sorry, I probably shouldn't... grab you," He let go, and Wakko scooted back, though he didn't leave. Max saw this as an invitation and joined him under the table.

"A-are- uh... Are you okay?" Max asked. Wakko looked away and shrugged.

"Right... not much of a talker..." Max recalled. Wakko nodded once, though he instantly regretted it, as it made his head feel weird.

Max tapped his fingers on his knee as he tried to figure something out. Wakko avoided any looks the Disney Prince gave him.

"Do you want some water? I can go get you some water," Max offered. Wakko sniffled and thought about it, before nodding once more (and regretting it once more).

with that, he disappeared, though not for too long.

Wakko noticed he stopped crying.

"Here, take this," Max handed him the glass. Wakko accepted the offering, taking a long drink.

Well, that felt at least a little bit better.

He glanced at Max.

"A-aren't you supposed to be with Yakko?" he asked.

"Dot was practically begging Yakko for a dance and I let him, it's her day after all," Max chuckled.

That made sense.

Wakko looked down at the glass, tapping his finger against it and looking at the water ripple.

"Do you need to step out of the party for a sec?" Max asked.

Wakko shrugged, taking a sip.

"Here- I'll help you find an exit," Max said, getting up and holding the cloth open for Wakko.

He hesitated.

He didn't deserve this- such kindness from the guy he locked in the tower mere weeks ago- it didn't make sense.

Then again, he'd give anything to get out of here.

Wakko listening to his senses and got out.

Carefully he followed Max through the gigantic room until they eventually reached a door, through which both of them slipped out of and into a calm and dark hallway.

Instantly, Wakko felt calmed, taking a deep breath.

"Wanna sit down?" Max asked, gesturing to the couches nearby. Wakko nodded. However, instead of sitting on the couch, he chose to lay on the cool floor, even taking off his gloves so he could feel the marble with his fingers.

Max didn't say anything for a while, not seeming to mind the silence. Which was good- because Wakko didn't feel like breaking it.

After a while though, a thought nagged at his brain.

Why.

Why on earth would Max help him? After everything he did? After everything he jeopardized? It didn't make sense.

Wakko sat up. Max looked at him but didn't say anything.

Wakko sighed.

"Why-?" He paused.

"Why... are you being so nice to me?"

"You were in trouble, I couldn't ignore that," Max shrugged. Wakko frowned, putting his gloves back on.

"I-i... Aren't you mad? At least a little?" He asked.

"It wasn't my first time being locked in a room for hours on end," Max snorted.

"Y-yeah, but I tried to hurt you. And Yakko..." Wakko looked at the ground. "I know how much you mean to him."

Max blinked.

"I- uh... well-" Max struggled with his words a moment.

"I don't... blame you, I guess. It's as new to you as it is to me and with a past and family tree like yours, I guess I don't blame you for lashing out? I dunno," Max shrugged, looking away.

Huh...

"Still... you didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to. Trust me, I would've helped any kid I found under there, but I'm glad it was you," Max said.

Wakko looked at him, deciding whether or not he believed that. Ultimately, he did.

"You know... Yakko talks a lot about you," Max said, piquing Wakko's interest.

"He worries a lot, but he says you're a really sweet kid, and I believe that," Max smiled a little. "You should be easier on yourself, you're still growing up you know?"

Wakko thought about that.

"I guess," He said. Max snorted.

"You know... you do seem like a pretty cool kid. I'm sorry if you ever felt I was ignoring you, I promise I'll try to make up for it too," He said.

Wakko thought about that too.

"Thanks," He said.

"I really do hope we can grow to like each other. Yakko means a lot to me and you mean a lot to him... you know?" Max blushed a little, scratching the back of his neck.

Wakko nodded, grinning a little.

"So... are we... cool?" Max asked.

Wakko thought about that as well.

"Yeah, we're cool," He said with his signature smile.

"Cool," Max grinned back. "Because I'm pretty sure Yakko might lose it if his dance with Dot ended and he can't find me."

Wakko laughed.

"Will you be alright?" Max asked, standing. Wakko nodded, getting up as well.

"I'm feeling a lot better... though I think I'll look for mum and dad," He said.

"Fair enough," Max nodded once. "Well- uh... see you around, I guess."

"See you around," Wakko laughed at his awkwardness before going back through the doors and back to the party.

Max followed soon thereafter, hoping Yakko wouldn't be too mad or worried at him for his sudden disappearance.

.o0o.

Yakko couldn't believe that a year ago today he thought his parents were dead. It baffled him honestly- he could turn his head and his parents were right there. They were never really dead- it shocked him to remember sometimes.

He also couldn't believe that only a year ago the most celebration they could share for Dot's birthday was a mini cake they had to sneak late at night.

And now look where he was- dancing in the middle of the ballroom with his little sister having the time of his life- despite the fact Dot couldn't stop giggling and he almost dropped her that one time.

However, he had to draw the line after three songs, which Dot understood, and he gave her back to their parents, hoping Max wouldn't be too mad about Dot taking up so much of his time.

"Ah, Max, there you are- sorry for dancing so long, I have a hard time saying no to her," Yakko laughed between pants, scratching the back of his neck.

"You just got done?" Max teased.

"Yeah, she really liked dancing," Yakko shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets.

"You look like you could use a breather," Max raised an eyebrow at him.

"Who, me? Whatever would give that idea?" He played back, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"C'mon- let's go to the balcony," Max said, taking his hand.

When they got to the door Yakko paused as he looked back at his family, unsure. However, his parents looked at him, and after giving a fair look of warning, they both gave him a thumbs up and nod of approval, and Yakko went off with his prince.

However, they didn't pick a random one, they went all the way through the halls to the usual one they'd go to when Max visited Warnerstock (the kid had a thing for balconies).

"Ahh, fresh air," Yakko embraced the cool night.

"Yep," Max embraced it too, immediately going and leaning on the rails.

"Are you liking the party?" Yakko asked.

"It's pretty good- though a little crowded, but I always know how to find some space," Max answered.

"I feel that- when my birthday rolls around, I'll make it a lot less crowded. I don't know what Dot had against having it outside, but what are you gonna do?" Yakko shrugged.

"I think Wakko would appreciate a smaller shindig," Max said, looking at the garden.

"What makes you say that?" Yakko decided to take his place next to Max also leaning against the railing.

"Ran into him- he wasn't having the best time so I helped ground him again," Max said like it was no big deal.

It was.

"Grounded him? You- managed to calm him down? Is he okay? What happened?" Yakko asked quickly.

"Woah, woah, it's okay. He's totally fine, just... overwhelmed." Max said.

"Oh... well... I'm glad he's okay," Yakko took a deep breath. "And I'm even more glad you were able to help him- that's huge... really."

He looked at him when he said that last part. Max blushed.

"I would've helped anyone, seriously," He looked away.

"Mhm, sure," Yakko teased.

"I am serious though- it probably means a lot to Wakko- he doesn't accept help easily and to allow you... it means he's starting to like you," Yakko said in all seriousness.

"That's good," Max nodded. "I really do want your family to like me- I just... don't have the best ways of showing it, I suppose."

"Hey, you're doing great so far," Yakko held his hand.

There was a moment before Yakko realized what he was doing and both boys broke the gesture.

"Haha... yeahhhh," Max looked at the wall away from Yakko.

There was a stretch of silence between the two, neither knowing what to do. Sure they knew what they wanted but... things are never as easy as just doing what you want.

"My dad and uncles like you too- if you care about that," Max decided to say.

"That's good," Yakko smiled a little, rubbing his thumb on the railing.

Another pause.

"You know- It's funny to me how when we met you thought I might too cool for you," Max remarked.

"When did I ever say that?" Yakko said.

"You called me cool at least fifty times upon first meeting me," Max play punched his arm.

"As I recall, you called me cool, so who's the real cool one here?" Yakko punched him back and the princes laughed.

"Alright, alright, you got me," Max chuckled. "I was just trying to say you were totally wrong, I don't have a cool bone in my body."

"God- you're so cool you don't even know how cool you are. Typical," Yakko sighed teasingly.

"Hey, didn't I just say you're pretty cool too?" Max accused playfully.

"Oh please, you're way cooler. No trauma and with fluffy, luxurious hair like that? Please," Yakko rolled his eyes.

"Oh puh-lease yourself. Trauma is just a cool backstory and you're home is a lot more fun and a lot less crowded and your family is a lot more cool too," Max pointed his finger at Yakko.

"You're exaggerating," Yakko pointed back.

"Nope- not at all. You're one of my first true friends and that automatically makes you very cool," Max crossed his arms.

"Oh yeah? W-well-" Yakko paused, looking at Max carefully.

A pause.

Max's dark brown eyes shined back at Yakko, reflecting the stars that surrounded them wonderfully. His fluffy and luxurious hair framed his face with perfect ease. His signature smile slowly turned into that of curiosity.

Yakko felt his heart flutter.

"I'm not as cool as you think," Yakko stepped down, looking at the ground.

Coward.

Another pause.

"..."

"Well maybe you are right- maybe I am cooler than you."

"Wha-?"

Before Yakko could finish the sentence, Max grabbed his shoulder and pulled him into a kiss.

"S-see?" Max was internally "fjdkaf;sfj"-ing in his brain. "You've won- I'm a lot cooler."

"Y-yeah," Yakko could barely speak his face was as red as Wakko's hat. "You're... yeah," his face melted into a goofy grin.

"Oh god- I'm sorry- d-did you not mean that..?" Max panicked, quickly becoming embarrassed.

"N-no!" Yakko snapped to life. "I-i... I- uh..."

"I liked it," He managed to say. Max smiled.

"W-... Wanna do it again?" Yakko proposed, and Max nodded, and they shared another kiss.

Yakko knew it was corny to think, but it truly felt just like fireworks in his chest.

He liked Max- Max liked him. A part of himself was realized- and he felt alive. A good kind of alive- not the kind of alive that came from life or death situations.

"So... I guess that makes us even," Max joked. Yakko laughed.

"I guess so," He couldn't get himself to stop smiling- neither could Max. They looked at each other before bursting into laughter again.

"Man, we really should return to the party," Max said.

"Yeah, you're right," Yakko's face was starting to hurt from the smiling.

"Do- uh... do you think your parents will be cool... orrrr...?" Max asked.

"Psh, I'm sure they'll be fine," He said without hesitation.

"Cool," Max said, opening the door out of the balcony.

Yakko looked at him for a moment, trying to absorb the moment as best he could.

"You okay?" Max asked.

"Yep," Yakko said, taking a deep breath as he implanted it in his memory in his brain forever.

"C'mon, let's go before they think we've done something stupid," Yakko said, quickly joining Max and grabbing his hand before running back to join his family.

however, right before entering the party room once more, Yakko paused.

"Does this mean our friendship is basically ruined?" He asked.

Max thought about it.

"I wouldn't think of it as a ruining per se... maybe think of it as an upgrade of sorts," Max winked.

God, he was so much cooler.

"Cool," Yakko grinned, squeezing Max's hand.

"Well... uh- shall we?" Max let go and offered Yakko his arm.

Yakko thought about it.

Taking it would mean no taking it back- it would mean the whole party would basically know that they kissed (holy shit- they kissed! that was a thing that happened!). His parents, his siblings, practically the whole kingdom, and their allies.

Yakko couldn't imagine any other way to walk back in.

He took his arm.

"We shall."

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 The End

134 notes · View notes

sparxwrites · 2 years

Note

I've been trying to write a purposely bad character--by bad I mean a not good person--and I've been taking some inspiration from your studies on Grian's character, mostly about his selfishness, but I've been struggling to convey my character's personality through their actions while balancing their innate cruelty with their purposeful kindness. Do you have any advice? Even something small would be helpful.

Ooo, this is rough with the information given, because the most important part of this is like- how is the audience supposed to feel about this character? Is this a villain, a villain with a redemption arc in the making, an antihero, a very fucked up protagonist...?

I'm going to assume, from the "innate cruelty / purposeful kindness" thing, that they're supposed to be somewhere on the "audience is not supposed to hate them" side of the spectrum. In which case, there's two things you absolutely need to have:

Give them a reason for why they are the way they are. This can just be "they've always been like this", but it could also be "they were brought up with different cultural/social norms", or "they were raised in an abusive environment", or "they were a spoiled little shit and were never told no", or "they never had good behaviours modelled for them", or "this is their way of trying to feel safe, by pre-emptively hurting people before people can hurt them", or "they have a disorder/mental health issue that affects how they relate to people or experience/perform empathy", or "heightened aggression is normal for their species", or... there's a hundred different reasons you could have, but .

(In Grian's case, it's a bit of "he was always like this" and a bit of "the Watchers made it worse with a) trauma, and b) bad behaviour modelling". Kid with Unrepentant Bastard Disorder gets taken and traumatised (via disregard of bodily autonomy/noncon body modification, physical punishments, kidnapping etc.) by a bunch of people who think psychologically torturing a whole server is a fun and justifiable pasttime.)

Give them a reason they're trying. This one is really important - people don't just wake up and decide they're going to try and be a better person. This can be something relatively banal ("it's not socially acceptable to murder people as a first attempt at problem-solving"; "I don't want to go to jail"; "this is part of my conditions of not going to jail"), but if you want the audience to like them, it's better to either make their motivation more sympathetic ("people leave me when I hurt others, and I don't want people to leave me"; "I'm sick of being what They made me into"; "I don't like feeling out of control, it scares me"; "my kid/partner/dog deserves a better life than the one I can give them as a criminal"; "I don't understand why what I do is bad, but I do logically understand it's bad, and I desperately do not want to be bad") or to transition from a more selfish motivation to a more selfless one.

(For Grian, this is literally just: he loves his friends. Yes, it's a slightly atypical, possessive kind of love, but he loves them, and he wants them to be happy, and he doesn't want them hurt and definitely doesn't want them to leave him. And he's willing to fight his instincts for them.)

Having established those, there's a few things you can do behaviour-wise to help with characterisation:

Assign someone else as their moral compass. Give them a companion or another character who is in charge of kicking them under the table / verbally calling them out when they get "overexcited". "And then we can crush them- ow- uh, I mean. We can. Sit down and have a diplomatic discussion with them...?"

Make them check themselves. I've used lines like "visibly trying to reword whatever he was going to say" or "trying very hard not to be cruel" when writing Grian, which gives the reader the idea that he's got this kind of initial instinct, and he's very deliberately controlling that or trying to work around it. Making them cut off mid-speech, or deliberately pause or hesitate before speaking, or be thinking really hard and framing stuff as questions ("So we're going to... try talking to them first, right? Before we point guns at them, I mean."), works too.

Let them be contradictory. Especially depending on how much energy/patience they have, because functionally what they're doing when they're being purposefully kind is playing a part. They're fighting their instincts! For good reason. Let them do stuff that's cruel or fucked up, and then later do kind stuff. Let them get nastier when they're low on energy, or sick, or hurt, or have had a bad day - or even when they get overexcited / adrenaline hyped-up and forget themselves. Make sure it's clear they regret, for a given definition of regret, it afterwards - it doesn't have to be an apology, it can be a more subtle gesture of support or kindness - but don't be afraid to let them get a bit mean.

Give them rules that they apply by rote. If you lack an innate moral compass, it's very hard to play-act a naturalistic one. If your character is in the early stages of doing this, then they're probably going to have "rules" they've learned, or strategies for managing their initial knee-jerk reactions to things. Let them verbally reason things out ("I'm gonna kill- no, I'm not, that's not nice and we're not allowed to do that, I'm going to tell them how they made me feel instead. Okay.") or apply rules ("Right, so we are not allowed to murder people's pets just because they were rude to our face-") or visibly use coping strategies ("In, out, in, out- five, four, three, two, no murder, one-").

Let them fuck up and then apologise. No one gets it right 100% of the time, especially if they're doing something that is functionally a chore. Your character is going to slip up with practicing kindness, and they should do. Again, the "apology" doesn't have to be explicit - it might be something small, like a shoulder bump the day later, or bringing someone a bit of food, or a gruff "saw this and thought of you", or even just continually looking anxiously at the person they hurt - but it establishes them as a) a bit of a bastard, but b) trying really really hard.

Make them explain themselves. If they're struggling, or if they're trying to honestly advocate for doing something horrid, let them explain their thought process. Even if it's really shitty ("I don't see why we can't just blow it up, there's like ten civilians in there, maximum, who cares-"), it gives the audience space to see what's actually going on in their head, and to follow their reasoning ("Look, it's fifty of them versus ten of us, that's a fair exchange"; "that's just how war works"; "that's how we were taught to do it / that's how we did it all the time back in Organisation X"). You can tie this back into "explaining why they are the way they are", if you like, which will often make the audience more sympathetic to them.

Give them space to let the mask drop. If you're trying to make the audience like them, it can be powerfully humanising to have someone who's so far been kind of spiky and stand-offish have a moment of vulnerability where they're like, "This fucking sucks, it's such hard work, I hate having to do this, I miss it when everything was simple and I could just steal shit and not have to think about the consequences of my actions, jesus fucking christ." A lot of people will relate to trying to control their behaviours and struggling with that - they might not get that character's specific issues, but they'll get the idea.

I do have to emphasise, though, that if you are trying to write a character who is not innately kind, you do have to write a character who's a bit of a dick. I've got a character like this and, because I love her and want the audience to love her too, I am always tempted to write her nicer than she actually is. But you'll do your character a disservice if you do that, and make them boring.

At some point, you have to trust that you're doing your job well enough that the audience will like them despite their flaws - and, if you're worried they won't, the solution is not to remove flaws. The flaws are what make them interesting, and what provide textual evidence for them being a dick. The solution is to add more moments of sympathy and complexity, more motivation and reasoning, more insight into the character's head - more peeks under the hood, as it were. Let the character be cruel, but let it be obvious that they're trying, and let the audience understand why they're doing both the cruelty and the kindness.

#anonymous #ask #faq #sparx chats #i guess???#writing advice #there we go. new tag for that.#these asks are always fun bc they make me actually pick apart what it is im doing lmao #im self-taught so i don't always realise what im doing or Why until someone makes me articulate it #very funny to write a whole answer and then go Ohhhhhh okay i get it now

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thefirsttree · 3 years

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A personal update + my next game

OK, time to do this. I’ve been meaning to do a big DAVID WEHLE™ update for a while now and explain why I haven’t released a new game yet, but you know how life gets in the way. Especially when life is a quarantine hellscape, you have three beautiful, amazing, exhausting kids to raise, a spouse’s job you support, a viral YouTube channel that turns your brain to mush, a thousand emails waiting in your inbox since your game is free on the Epic Games Store (with an impressive number of redemptions too! … meaning lots of emails and customer support issues), etc., etc. What also contributes to my lack of updates is because… I just don’t really like posting online. Fascinating correlation, I know!

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a venting/ranting blog post (well, maybe a bit), because my life is seriously AMAZING and INSANELY BLESSED and LUCKY. I can’t believe how many dreams keep coming true, so much so that I feel I don’t deserve it and I really pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes… but I did want to at least be honest, because I owe that to myself.

Wow, where do I even begin? Well, how about we start with the reason I’m even a full-time indie game dev now: The First Tree. This small hobby project I worked on at night morphed into this gargantuan beast (or fox) that took over my life the past 5 years. Which is great! I’m living the dream! And yet, I really didn’t expect it to do as well as it did. At its core, my game is a slow-paced, sad walking simulator (ahem, I prefer the term “exploration game,” but you know what I mean) that somehow seemed to launch at the right time to the right audience. It resonated deeply with some of you, and for that I’m eternally grateful. I still get emails almost daily how my game changed their lives in some formative way. I’m beyond honored.

However, with that spotlight came criticism and demands from the ever-present, insatiable internet. I would randomly be surfing the gamedev subreddit trying to decompress, and I would see a comment by some rando saying how much I didn’t deserve my success, and how it was all one huge lucky fluke. And I believed them!

And to add to it, some devs considered me an indie marketing “guru”, which I was uncomfortable with. I worked hard to market my game every week, and after my GDC talk, people assumed marketing was my passion; the reason I got up every morning. Just to clarify… NO, I don’t like marketing, and I hate being the center of attention. I don’t like asking people for money and wishlists. But I did what was necessary because I was passionate about telling stories, and I wanted to give my story a fighting chance to be seen on the crowded pages of Steam.

So now, you’re probably wondering “well then David, why did you make fancy YouTube videos showing off your success? Not very modest if you ask me.” This honestly could be a long blog post all on its own, because my experience of putting myself in the spotlight and becoming a “content creator” is… complicated. It was an unusual step for me, especially since I never even showed my face online (as a game developer) until my GDC talk.

First off, I always wanted to teach and start a YouTube channel. I love video editing, especially since I’ve been doing it longer than making games! It’s a huge passion of mine. And teaching people who didn’t know they could make and finish games was a huge motivator (and it’s been so rewarding already). But the second reason is, I was scared. I was self-employed, and I was riding the success of a “huge lucky fluke” that would probably not happen again. I wanted to make sure I could provide for my amazing family, and give them food and health insurance and security in these tumultuous times. I was turning my lifelong passions and hobbies into a business, and it wasn’t as simple of a mental transition as I thought.

So, I went all in on YouTube and the accompanying online course called Game Dev Unlocked. I spent years editing the scripts and videos, and polishing them to a shine. At first, no one watched my videos, no one was buying… and in the blink of an eye, the YouTube algorithm picked up my main autobiographical video (“How Making Indie Games Changed My Life”), and I started getting 5,000 subscribers a day. Right now, I’m at 150,000 subs, which is still hard for me to believe. I always had a dream of earning 100k subs on YouTube, so I was pretty happy with the whole thing. Sales were OK, but mostly people didn’t want to buy the course. Then the emails came in…

Something you should know about me: I am a textbook “people pleaser,” and if someone asks for my help, I take it very seriously. If someone is mad at me, even if I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s all I can think about, and it ruins my day. So, taking an onslaught of people begging for help and multiplying that by an impossible amount of people for my brain to truly comprehend thanks to the internet… and let’s just say it wasn’t a healthy mix.

I received thousands of emails from people who were begging me for some kind of reassurance that everything would be OK. That their dreams would come true too. And I wanted to help every single one of them. I went from a nobody working on a game for fun to becoming a spokesperson for the indie game dream. I couldn’t even get a shake from the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru without someone recognizing me and asking for game dev advice. And it didn’t stop there… I would get emails from suicidal kids asking for help, teenagers from Afghanistan asking me to get them out of their country, and on one occasion I received an email from a hopeful game developer in a war-torn country who had just experienced a bomb blowing up their neighboring village. His friends were dead, and he was hoping he could finish a game before he died too, and he needed my help. How do you say no to something like that? Didn’t I owe it to everyone because I was lucky with my hit game and I needed to “pay it forward”? (Something people constantly reminded me of)

And then to top it off, after you’ve given everything you’ve got to other people in need… you get hate mail in your inbox. You spend the whole day serving your children and strangers on the internet, then when the kids are finally asleep, you hit the bed to relax and take a look at your phone to decompress, and you randomly come across an angry gamer in your Twitter mentions telling you your game they got for free sucks, and that you took away a potentially great game from them and that your apology isn’t good enough.

Long story short, I went to a mental therapist for the first time in my life. I was broken trying to care for two toddlers and a new baby in a pandemic (which is very, very hard), taking care of my course students who gave me their hard-earned money and demanded results, and the countless people begging for help on the internet. I was this introverted, internet-lurker trying to take on the weight of the world. I was so tired and hurt that no one cared about me and my needs… only what I could do for them.

Quitting my day job and making this hobby my full-time job has stirred up… mixed emotions. This statement may disturb some of you, but I was definitely 100% happier when I had a full-time job and I was working on my game at night. I missed working with the amazing team at The VOID, working on Star Wars… back when the success of my game was this abstract thing I could only daydream about. Mostly, I was making my game for me with no outside expectations to pay the bills or satisfy the ever-demanding internet, and that brought me a lot of joy.

It’s not all doom and gloom though! I’m actually very happy now and in the best shape I’ve been since the pandemic started. I’ve had to confront my weaknesses and personality quirks, but I’m a better person for it (and I’m sure these issues would’ve come out eventually). I hired an awesome community manager for Game Dev Unlocked who is helping SO MUCH with the emails, I can’t even tell you the mental burden it alleviates. I even leased a co-working office to help separate work from my home, and that’s been a huge help too. I’ve decided to work with my old friends from The VOID on a cool, new VR experience. It will take me away from my projects a bit, but I’m ecstatic to work with a great team again (and not manage anything, whew).

These are all things I would’ve never guessed I needed, because I thought I knew myself pretty well… turns out I didn’t.

The reality is: running a business is HARD. Running it solo is even harder. You have to remember, I was burnt out on The First Tree well into the Steam release in 2017, but I kept working on it for 4 more years due to my fears of failing again and not earning enough money for my family.

So, I was wrestling with the age-old concept of commercialism and art. There was this dichotomy of doing whatever I wanted and being true to my vision (what most people assume the indie dev dream is like), and doing only what customers wanted to buy. This is something that has killed me with YouTube… in one specific instance, I was super excited to make the exact video I wanted to make. I loved every part of its creation, and I thought it had a message that would inspire everyone. I lovingly edited it over several weeks, posted it, and excitedly waited for the stats… and it was by far my worst performing video.

This is not a new problem. Even the Sistine Chapel by Michelangelo was a commission forced upon him by the very violent Pope Julius II. My wife and I regularly talk about the fine balance between artistic integrity and commercialism, a problem she is very familiar with as an artist who constantly needs to balance what she wants to make with what the customer wants to hang up in their home.

For The First Tree, I was lucky. It was pretty much what I wanted to make (I had to compromise a lot of things of course), and it turned out millions of people wanted it too. Recently, I thought the safe business decision would be to do it all over again, so I started work on a spiritual successor to The First Tree (an idea that I may revisit one day since I do love the story idea). But that isn’t happening anytime soon. Trust me when I say I am now currently burnt out on animal exploration games.

So that realization left me with a question: what do I do next?

I’ve decided I need to make a game that I want to make, for me. It will be a bit different and I’m almost certain most fans of The First Tree will not love it… but it’s an idea that gets me super excited. It’s an idea that could help me fall in love with game development again.

A few more details: this game will be story-driven, first-person, and will use the Unreal Engine. That means development is gonna be slow going, because I have to learn a whole new tool. The “smart business” decision would be to make something quickly in Unity which I’m already familiar with… but I want to do this for me, and UE5 looks like a lot of fun. I’m also shooting for an early-ish release date so I avoid burn out and I keep the game short: I want to release it in Fall 2022, but knowing game development, it will probably take longer.

With the help of my therapist, I’ve also concluded that I’ve been too accessible on the internet and that my self-worth isn’t determined by the amount of people I try to help online. Of course, I love helping people and seeing them succeed, but I need to step back and focus on my family and myself. I will delete my social media apps on my phone (I will still post big updates occasionally) and stop responding to most emails, tweets, DMs, etc. It’s not that I’m ungrateful… in fact, if I don’t say thank you or at least acknowledge the incredibly nice people who share a sweet message about my game or want to tell me how I inspire them (still hard for me to believe, lol), I feel a ton of guilt… but I need to let that go. Please know I’m extremely grateful to all the fans who follow my work, so even if I don’t thank you directly, I truly mean it: thank you.

I will still post and stream occasionally on YouTube when I want to (and I still do live Q&A’s for my GDU students). The online course sales will help support my family as I work on a potentially risky game idea (and my new job will help alleviate the risk too). I’m gonna try one more marketing experiment and sell a mini-course soon (and add an Unreal section), and after that I’m done working on it. A gigantic thank you to the people who bought my course and are part of the amazing community, it has helped me and my family tremendously, and it’s inspiring seeing the games you make!

I’m a bit worried about the whole thing since this new game idea could flop, which could definitely affect my family. But a sappy, high-school yearbook quote is coming to mind… I think it applies here: “A ship in harbor is safe—but that is not what ships are built for.”

Thanks for reading,

David

#gamedev #indie games #the first tree

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trollartistry · 3 years

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Scott responded.

Scott responded to everything that is going on. <- Click to read on Reddit.

As for my own response and how I feel, it’ll be under a read more.

First of all, here’s my own response to him:

“I hardly post on Reddit, mostly because I struggle being able to keep up with so many accounts. But this is an exception because I feel that I HAVE to reply to you Scott, in terms of all of this.

As a pansexual transman, my very first thought when I saw it for myself who you donated for was "This has to be faked. Scott's done so much, there's no way he would vote for someone as corrupt and horrifying as Trump after seeing what he's done in the past four years." But as someone who absolutely hates Trump, I jumped to conclusions and my next thought was, "If this is true, I will never support FNaF and Scott ever again." And so the past few days have been a huge mental war because obviously it wasn't fake, and it was true. Did I think you purposely voted for a lot of Republicans like Trump out of spite for the LGBT+? No, especially because of how much support you've shown to us over the past several years. Did I still want to call off any and all support to you because at the time, I was whirling with emotions and upset as hell.

But you're not homophobic or transphobic in the slightest, and you definitely didn't deserve to get doxxed. I am so sorry people have attacked you like this when we [as in Twitter] should've all just waited for an explanation instead of attack you. I should've waited for an explanation instead of immediately thinking of the worst and wanting to get rid of my FNaF gear.

Am I still hurt knowing one of the coolest creators I know donated to quite a few people who hate my sheer existence and work everyday to make sure the LGBT+ community is illegal and hated? Yes, I am. But that hurt is eased knowing you were just trying to vote for who you thought was right [even though I HEAVILY disagree on those choices].

As someone whos part of the Twitter community, I'm so sorry for what we've done. And I'm personally sorry for at first jumping to conclusions.”

And I really am sorry to Scott. I’m sorry that Twitter decided to uproot his life like this and doxx him and put both him and his fucking wife in danger. I hate Trump. I hate most of the Republican party if not all of them. But to put Scott and his family in danger over this? It’s pathetic. The man never deserved that and Twitter’s fucked up for that.

..As for how I feel, I’m still a bit hurt by what happened. I honestly wish Scott spared at least one apology, and that would be to the LGBT+. He doesn’t have to apologize for the donations itself or for who he supported. I just think he could’ve spared *one* apology, and that would be how the information caused some pain to us, the LGBT+ community. I’m not saying its owed though.

I’m still a bit hurt, but seeing how Scott was just trying to do what he thought was right, it helps a bit.

As for what I’m gonna do.. I think I’m still gonna enjoy FNaF. Make art for it, enjoy people playing the games, etc. The only thing I will personally buy for myself though will be Security Breach when it comes out [and I hope this whole thing doesnt destroy it] and that will be that. I enjoy Scott’s work and he seems to be great despite this whole ordeal, but I won’t be giving my money towards his stuff anymore knowing it would go to people that hate my guts.

TL;DR: I feel better, I’m not leaving the FNaF fandom, and I’ll still draw for it. I’ll also still support Scott, just without my money.

#nemi babbles #scott cawthon #five nights at freddy's #fnaf security breach #freddy fazbear

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stubbornjerk · 3 years

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Why people keep telling you to block them if you support Pholo (Penumbra Edition)

Or: why jitterbug-juno really deactivated

I love when people categorize this as fandom wank. Really makes you feel like you’re putting the onus on either side of the conversation.

I’m making this post not because I want to stir up spoiled milk, but because I want it out there that this wasn’t a purity culture war.

The TL;DR version of this is that fans of color tried to tell Rab (prev. jitterbug-juno) not to post her Omegaverse (or A/B/O) fic. And instead of taking the L, she posted it on Ao3 and deactivated.

But, if you want context, well, buckle in. CW for mentions of racism and transphobia.

What did jitterbug-juno do?

Before I get into this I do want it out there that I will not be linking Rab’s fic, but I will show you this screenshot of the summary of it.

[ID: It is a screenshot of a fic, “As You Are” by Pholo.

Summary: Peter can hide his scent glands behind cologne; makeup; concealer pads. He can quash his heats with suppressants. He can divert the urge to nest and fawn.

But he can’t feign another gender’s subvocals. He lacks the anatomical capacity. Mag taught him to distract from his silence with fast, flashy words. For longer heists he relies on social convention. Traumatic mutism is uncommon, but remarked upon by enough war vets and soap operas to be widely recognized. Peter’s marks assume he’s been harmed long before they assume he’s a closeted omega. It would take quite the backwater brute to ask why he doesn’t murmur or chuff or growl.

On the 'Blanche there are the usual furtive glances. Juno makes clear to Peter that should he ever want “to talk about what happened,” he’ll be there to listen. The gesture annoys Peter more than comforts him.

‘Nothing happened,’ he wants to scream. ‘There’s nothing to talk about!’

There are 14 comments, 85 kudos, and 11 bookmarks /end]

You decide what you’re doing with that information, but honestly, I’d rather you don’t give it anymore engagement than it deserves.

There was a period earlier this June (yes, even though it’s only the 10th, at time of writing) when Rab was posting snippets of the aforementioned fic on her blog and tagging it appropriately, putting it in the attention of pretty much the entire Penumbra fandom.

What’s Omegaverse or a/b/o and why is everyone so against Rab for it

If you know what Omegaverse is, I don’t have to tell you why it’s controversial. If you don’t know what Omegaverse is, well, Fanlore said it best:

a kink trope wherein some or all people have defined biological roles based on a hierarchical system, with the terms originating from animal behaviour research. There may be werewolf, knotting, or other animalistic elements involved, or the characters may be otherwise purely human.

The term is generally written with slashes (a/b/o). Many fans, particularly ones from Australia and New Zealand, are uncomfortable seeing the term without slashes because it is also an Australian slur for aboriginal people.

I won’t get into the history or the heaps and tons of other discourses (mostly about fictional male pregnancy, homophobia, transphobia, sexual assault, etc.) that go on within that. We’re here specifically on Rab v. Penumbra fans of color and we’re staying there.

Anyone who’s been in Penumbra enough to realize that everyone draws the Junoverse characters in a certain way knows that a) Juno is black, b) Nureyev is Asian, and c) as a fan you have to be aware of what you’re subjecting or saying about either of them because of the political repercussions that come with it.

And despite that, Rab proceeded to write Peter Nureyev, a gender nonconforming gay Asian male character that is widely headcanon’d as trans, into a fic using a kink trope that relies heavily on animal behavior.

Unlike most people new to fandom, Rab is aware of what Omegaverse is and is very much white. She is (and if she isn’t, should be) aware of the racist undertones that writing him in would get.

I couldn’t get a screenshot of what snippets Rab was sending out into the ether, seeing as a majority of my friends would rather not have seen any at all (I have all of the usual tags blocked so I wouldn’t have seen it either way), but needless to say, Rab got attention for it. Both positive and negative.

Anne (@hopeless-eccentric) even posted a satirical fic, in the odds that Rab was just writing this thing to be “the first” to write Omegaverse fic in the Penumbra tags.

But, I’m assuming more than one fan of color came into Rab’s inbox and messaged her about it, but someone I know (who would like to remain anonymous) was gracious enough to take a screenshot before he sent his in and let me use it for this post:

[ID: A message to jitterbug-juno about to be sent by a sender whose name is censored with a black bar. His messages says:

“as someone who is a person of color i think the nature of the fic you are writing right now is extremely racist and attributing animal characteristics to lgbt people of color is not at all appropriate, especially when you are someone who is white. i have to ask you to not publish this fic and to reflect as to why you would want to write this in the first place, these tropes are extremely harmful and”

There are 33 characters left to write into the message. /end]

I can’t speak for whoever else sent asks about the fic she was writing. If anyone was actually not-so-gentle with her, well, minorities don’t really owe it to you to be gentle about what they can tell is bigotry-tinged behavior.

But, the message was clear: this is different from your garden variety, lily white straight male character m/m kink fantasy. This is an actual queer Asian character that a lot of queer Asian people feel attached do. Do not post the fic.

What happened next: the beginning of the end

The next morning, I woke up to most of my friends being frustrated by this post on Rab’s account:

[ID: Dated 5 June, a post by jitterbug-juno:

“Gonna leave the fandom for a while. Wishing you all well.”

The tags say the following: not sure if i’ll be back, thank you so much to everybody who’s read my fics, and who’s sent asks or engaged with my art or any of that, you’re amazing and I’m sending love /end]

That... was not what fans of color wanted, but it was definitely an action they took. Some celebrated, as they were very much wary of Rab for having caused much of the same category of drama in fandoms like Voltron: Legendary Defenders and Warrior Cats. This also meant that she was probably not going to post the fic either.

Some, myself included, were relatively pissed, as they’d wanted even just the measly bit of accountability. An apology or an acknowledgement of having been called out in private and that they’ll take time to consider why. But instead we got Rab leaving in the face of fans of color telling her not to post her Omegaverse fic.

Well. The next day...

[ID: Dated 6 June. A post by jitterbug-juno titled, “Well... that was short-lived”

“I gave the situation a lot of thought yesterday. The reaction to my omegaverse previews made me figure I should leave the fandom. It seemed like the safest option.

But you know what?

Hell.

I don’t want to leave. The fic discusses the tropes of omegaverse and I spoke to several POC on Twitter, and I’m going to post it with plenty of tags so people can avoid it if they wish. I’m not going to be chased out of this space.

Thank you to everyone who sent messages yesterday. I shouldn’t have made that post about leaving. It was really reactionary. I’m okay and I appreciate your support so much.

(bolded on the post) To those who are angry and uncomfortable with me: Please block me. If you’re going to talk about this fic on Tumblr and Twitter– and this may sound odd– PLEASE NAME ME as Jitterbug-juno or Pholo. Don’t vague me. That way people who don’t want to see this discourse can add my name to their block lists.“ /end]

That certainly was short-lived, she wasn’t kidding.

This got a lot of outrage. Again, the fic is up on Ao3 and she has not taken it down. A lot of POC were pissed and I didn’t see a single fan of color actively support what she was doing, at least, not in my friend group. Everyone started making those posts to block them if you liked the fic or Rab’s content in general, in accordance to what Rab wanted.

Perseus (@mraudiodrama) noticed/pointed out that Rab deleted the part where she said she spoke to several POC about releasing her fic, as well as the part where she said she refused to be chased out of the fandom. This was an incredibly pointed detail to edit out, according to some.

[ID: A screenshot of jitterbug-juno's last post taken 11:00PM. Much of it is the same except the following bolded words are removed: "The fic discusses the tropes of omegaverse and I spoke to several POC on Twitter, and I’m going to post it with plenty of tags so people can avoid it if they wish. I’m not going to be chased out of this space." /end]

That same day, Rab deleted her blog. I actually caught this one on tape, believe it or not.

[ID: A screen recording taken at 12:01 PM of someone scrolling down jitterbug-juno's account. The posts and asks about Omegaverse and her post about leaving and coming back are conspicuously absent. /end]

Initially, I thought she deleted all mentions of it. I wanted to see firsthand if the rumors about her deleting portions of it were true. If she added things where she was saying that she wanted to write it because she was autistic and wanted Nureyev to be autistic too, regardless of the numerous QPOC telling her not to do it.

Instead, it turned out, she deleted her blog.

And now, we're here. The fic is still up. Her blog is down. Rab's public Twitter account @nataclinn is quiet about this. Her @cushfuddled Twitter account is on private after her run-in with the Warrior Cats fandom, according to a friend. And her Tumblr @cushfuddled account has nothing but memes.

Again, I didn't make this post to stir up drama. I wasn't even obsessively making this post as a call-out because she isn't in the fandom anymore. I just want it out there that this isn't a purity culture thing that got out of hand in a fandom as niche as Penumbra. This was a case of someone being called out and failing to acknowledge it before running away. And I want all that out of the way before I say:

If you are on Rab's side of this debacle, I, a queer person of color, want nothing to do with you either.

#the penumbra fandom #jitterbug-juno #pholo #racism #white drama #im not tagging this as fandom drama or fandom wank because that erases the fact #that this was legitimate criticism of a white person #the penumbra podcast #junoverse #i put it in a readmore so its not gonna clog up much #but if anyone doesnt want me to tag this w the fandom tags i'll remove it #once again though this is the furthest thing from anti/proship discourse

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courtney-deserved-better · 3 years

Text

my opinion on td finalists

spoiler alert, im not a fan of most

TDI: Owen & Gwen

uh I personally don’t like either of these guys for finalists. gwen did do a lot but there were so many times where she just acted so apathetic I was like why?? are you still here?? and as for owen... I didnt like him as a character for a Long Time and he's growing on me but he just doesnt seem like finale material

I think a duncan versus leshawna finale would've been super fun to watch. especially if they teamed up to take down heather in the semifinal. those two had such a fun dynamic, especially in the triathlon episode, that I think taking it to the finale would've been fantastic. also leshawna deserved to win that season and you cannot change my mind

TDA: Duncan & Beth

duncan, while not my first choice, I can see making it through to the finale this season. but beth?? no. im sorry but shes just too much of a side character and is canonically fake nice and annoys everyone else so it doesn’t really make sense

an interesting finale would’ve been duncan versus courtney considering how volatile their relationship was this season. however, bc courtney was kinda awful to duncan, I dont think she deserves to win this season. it would be cool if there was one ending where their votes tied and they made up and decided to split the money but that just feels too tame, both for a finale and for their dynamic

harold versus duncan could be interesting, but because duncan tends to bully harold, I dont think his win would be fair in this situation. I think lindsay versus harold would be the best, as this season is about lindsay learning to take charge and come up with strategies, and while he can be off-putting and occasionally condescending, I think harold has a lot of useful skills that could really flourish in the finale

TDWT: Heather & Alejandro

while I dont ship them at all, I truly dont think there could've been a more satisfying final two. we’ve had their rivalry build up from day one, they have a ton of good songs together, it really completes heather’s arc of antagonist to antihero to protagonist. heather winning is the best ending in my mind, but I like alejandro winning too. the only problem I have with his ending is that it only happened because heather threw in the wrong dummy-- I think it would’ve been more clever for him to have switched them or something like that

ive been thinking about some other final twos that I think would be interesting, though unable to top the canon one imo. gwen versus courtney would be really cool because of the friends turned enemies thing-- I think it would be interesting for courtney to be put in danger and gwen has a choice of saving her or going for the money and she save courtney before apologizing again (maybe dumping duncan) and the two make up and split the money.

though I don’t really enjoy either as characters mostly due to their writing, cody and sierra would be an interesting final two. maybe cody finally stands up to sierra, or sierra struggles with wanting to be the winner of total drama or helping the boy she likes win. it definitely wouldn't be as good as the canon two but there would be a lot of clashing dynamics at play that'd be fun to explore

TDROTI: Lightning & Cameron

admittedly, I don’t remember too much from this season, but it really felt like these two kind of coasted by. I never found lightning to be a particularly compelling character and thought it weird how he suddenly went from dumb jock to evil jock in the last episode or two. cameron really felt like he was just carried through the season, similarly to beth, though I dont have as much as an issue with him winning. I dont think it was a bad finale, per se, I just think if those were the final two they should've been written better from the start

seeing as how jo really played the game and went all in, I think she would’ve been a great finalist. it would’ve been interesting to see her versus (commando?) zoey though im not the biggest zoey fan. I think a jo versus lightning finale could actually work (or brick) though if there was a jo versus cameron finale, I couldn't see him logically winning bc jo would just destroy him

TDAS: Mike & Zoey

*BIG FUCKING INHALE* no. just no. im probably not gonna say anything that’s not already been said so ill keep it short. bland, mal writing bad, have someone who's been in the game for 3 previous seasons instead of 1 make it to the ALL STARS FINALE. jfc.

you know what would’ve been an interesting finale? gwen versus courtney. they both said they wanted to reach the final two with the other one, so maybe they do! maybe they start to struggle with their friendship because of courtney’s competitive streak! maybe one of their helpers is duncan and that causes strife between them! maybe they become enemies again and don’t make up until the finale! maybe they decide to split the money! idk! it would've had a hell of a lot more flavor than what we got

TDPI: Shawn & Sky

I don’t really have an issue with either of these characters making it to the finale. they’re compelling, worked hard, and have distinct goals. I would’ve liked to see jasmine in the finale but I'd be cool replacing either one with her: jasmine and shawn having to compete against one another would be an interesting relationship hurdle and sky versus jasmine would've been cool because they’re both very athletic and it would’ve been the first f vs f total drama finale (we've had m vs f and m vs m but no all-girl finales...)

TDRR: Surfer Dudes & Police Cadets

Again, I don’t really have an issue with this finale. I really like how Sanders and MacArthur both work hard in their own ways and have to learn how to work together (MacArthur breaking Sanders’ arm and realizing that she can negatively affect her partner and also that Sanders is super tough was a GREAT arc). I know there’s been some contention about the Surfer Dudes being eliminated and then coming back so late in the game, but it made sense to me. They chose to lose because they felt that they owed it to Devin and Carrie, and that choice paid off when Devin and Carrie called in a replacement team. I doubt the surfers expected that to happen, they were just trying to be fair, but that kindness was rewarded in a big way which I think was sweet, especially considering how much of a hot mess this show can be.

I gotta say, this does kinda remind me of the TDI finale, with the villain (heather/ice dancers) getting eliminated third, and their rival (gwen/police cadets) making it to the finale with the fun guy (owen/surfer dudes). The reason I like the Surfer Dudes as finalists more than Owen is that I felt they put in more effort during challenges and had more of an arc (with Josee’s mind games ending up bonding them as a team after strife, choosing to be eliminated for the sake of fairness, etc).

Speaking of Owen, it’s kind of ironic that if I had to replace a team in the finale, I would replace the surfer dudes with the reality tv pros. they’re my favorite team and I think it wouldve been great for them to really live up to their name. I think it also would've been funny for the ice dancers to be so focused on their rivalry with the cadets that the pros just completely go under their radar until its the final three and the ice dancers are like “oh crap they’re PROS why haven't we been trying to destroy them??”

I also wouldn't mind replacing the surfer dudes with the sisters. I know emma gets a lot of hate (mostly because of nemma which I only like platonically) but I actually like her as a character (when she wasn’t being obsessive) and I think she and kitty were a great team that had a good arc of learning to work together. I also think it would be really interesting because for the final three they would all have rivalries with one another: the police cadets and the ice dancers (obvious) the ice dancers and the sisters (josee messed with them in at least 2 challenges) and the sister and the police cadets (kitty and macarthur’s game/road rage was hilarious)

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jeannereames · 3 years

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1) I think it was Plutarch’s account, that after Hephaistion’s and Krateros’s famous clash, Alexander eventually reconciles them by telling them he loved them most of all men. Will you be expanding on Alexander’s and Krateros’s relationship in your future DwtL books? I remember you briefly touched upon them in Rise. Or like, is there any historical evidence that elucidates what their dynamic was like beyond/including the whole philobasileus thing?

Who Was Krateros (and what will I do with him in DwtL)?

I’ve always found it curious that, in most novels about Alexander’s conquests, Krateros tends to be a distant secondary character in contrast to others around Alexander, especially Ptolemy—despite the fact Krateros was more powerful than Ptolemy, and powerful at an earlier date.

I suspect it owes to the fact Ptolemy went on to found a dynasty and write a history. Modern writers feel as if they know him better. By contrast, Krateros died just two years after Alexander. So although he tends to have a better reputation among modern historians (which, I think, is not well-deserved), he’s never really received thorough treatment in much the same way (and for much the same reason) as Hephaistion.

He died too soon to become a major player among the Diadochi. But that means the people we know best from the era of the Diadochi were NOT the most prominent men at Alexander’s court. So don’t be surprised when Krateros pops up as an important secondary figure in the series with a more conspicuous role than Seleukos, or Antipatros, or Antigonos, who all long outlived him.

In part, that importance owes to Hephaistion’s role as protagonist. If pressed to name the chief protagonist of Dancing with the Lion, Alexandros or Hephaistion…it’s Hephaistion.

I don’t want to go into too much detail about future plots and spoil it—but if Krateros winds up Hephaistion’s bête noire, he doesn’t start that way. The details of their falling out is a driving point of the Long Plot (e.g., the plot across books, part of the overall tragedy of Alexander’s story). I’ll just say that, when I first saw Hamilton, the Musical, a lot of the Hamilton-Burr dynamic resonated because it reminded me of my vision of Hephaistion and Krateros.

Don’t overextend that, but it gives a general idea.

We have some hints that suggest, at least at first, Hephaistion and Krateros weren’t enemies. They may not have been bosom buddies, but I don’t think they were enemies.

I have a clear personal view of each man, based on the historical texts. Hephaistion’s personality I laid out in the first two novels. He can be touchy about his honor and how he’s viewed, and is 110% loyal to Alexander, but not a suck-up. The two just generally see things the same way, and will continue to do so (except in matters of religion, which does come to a head in one particular event I’ll not spoil). Yet in how to run the empire and how to Persianize the court, they’re on the same page and Hephaistion is deeply involved in court procedural renovations. This accords with what the sources tell us. Hephaistion followed Alexander in the changes, which is typical of how ancient sources would present it. Me, I’d argue he didn’t just “follow,” he helped Alexander come up with it. He understood the problem/hurdle as Alexander did and was a party to the solution of blending the two courts.

My Hephaistion is proud, and wants to be recognized for his contributions and ideas. He resents it when anybody suggests he’s just a “yes-man.” And no, that’s not because they were/are lovers. It’s because sycophancy is an easy way to insult your rival. 😉Nothing makes him angrier than being called a “flatterer.” His friendship with Alexander will go through highs and lows (because that’s human), but he remains mostly certain of his place at Alexandros’s right hand. That doesn’t mean he won’t get jealous, because he definitely has a jealous bone (which I think I pretty clearly established in Rise). Yet as time goes on, he settles down and his clashes with others stem from a failure by those others to recognize his place. Yet he understands his place—and ambitions—differently. He can act jealous and touchy, but not for expected reasons. My Hephaistion (and I stress this is not the historical person) just isn’t that interested in commanding others or occupying high office for itself. The kleos of it: glory He wants to help Alexandros make his new empire work, and gets really impatient with all the other “idiots” who can’t see what needs to be done to achieve that. He has ambition, but it’s north/north-west of typical.

Krateros is also pretty clear in my head, both as a fictional character but also how I think he was historically. He, too, is a deeply ambitious, and very capable. My fictional Krateros’s vicious ambition stems from being the “poor cousin” to Perdikkas and the Orestian royal house, needing to prove his place, not just get it as a right of birth—although he also gets it as a right of birth because he is not a commoner. In short, he has the resentment and envy of second-tier gentry, but the drive to succeed in Philip’s (and then Alexander’s) army where ability is recognized too. (I’d note that, after ATG’s death, Krateros [along with Ptolemy] joined Antigonos’s rebellion against Perdikkas as regent of the kings…which is why he died in battle fighting Eumenes, who was on Perdikkas’s side. Yet this is notable because he was almost certainly from Orestes…and thus, related to Perdikkas. We can debate who was higher born, but I think it was Perdikkas.)

Anyway, Alexandros recognizes both his ability and sympathizes with his drive to succeed because it’s similar to his own: the need to prove himself to his father, as prince.

That’s the fictional background of my Krateros, but the historical man was good at what he did, and knew it, and expected to be recognized for it among his peers: to stand first among them. Ergo, he was viciously competitive to rivals, but charming and charismatic otherwise.

How does that work? To those well above him in the power structure, he’s respectful and seeks their approval in order to receive advancement. So, for instance, he’s devoted to the kings (Philip, then Alexander) because they are Givers of Good Things (promotions, land, loot). He would have been a young officer under Philip, making him roughly the age of Ptolemy, Philotas, Nikanor, Koenos…maybe Kleitos (although I think Kleitos was a bit older), just as Leonnatos, Perdikkas, Seleukos and Hephaistion were coevals of Alexander.

So he couldn’t and wouldn’t challenge the “old men”: Parmenion, Antigonos Monophthalmos, Antipatros, etc. He even seems to have been an understudy to Parmenion. For instance, at Issos, he was in charge not just of his brigade but the whole left wing under Parmenion’s general command. He wanted to impress Parmenion and earn his support—not antagonize him.

Likewise, he had no reason to lord it over his infantry battalion, who would have been no threat to his ambitions. He needed them, in fact. By being chummy with them, he was far more likely to secure their loyalty—not unlike Caesar later.

It was those men who were rivals for positions he wanted who drew his special ire. Krateros would never get Parmenion’s spot while the old man lived, but Parmenion was old. Krateros could wait. After Issos, I expect Krateros saw himself as Parmenion’s natural successor. Yet Krateros was also unlikely to get Parmenion’s spot as long as Philotas lived. If we have only a sketchy idea of ranking order in the army, the whole Philotas Affair tells us/suggests the position of commander of the Companion Cavalry was the #2 position after Parmenion’s slot as viceroy to Alexander. Krateros may have served under Parmenion in charge of the army left side at Issos…but Philotas was still above him in the food chain.

Nikanor (Parmenion’s middle son) may also have been a hurdle, as commander of the Regular Hypaspists (as opposed to Royal Hypaspists), but he was younger than Philotas. Thus, Krateros would have started by removing Philotas, only worrying about Nikanor after—and as it turned out, Nikanor died of disease in late 330, deleting himself from the picture.

Our histories seem united on Philotas as arrogant and pushing his place: an obnoxious little brat, if also a perfectly capable commander. Ergo, Philotas provided Krateros with the perfect target, one unlikely to have staunch defenders.

So Krateros systematically went after him as early as the Egyptian sojourn, and possibly even earlier. Plutarch doesn’t always get things right, so we must be cautious about this, and Badian wanted to make the spying of Krateros part of Alexander’s big conspiracy against Parmenion’s family. Not at all. I think it was Krateros’s attempt to target the man he saw as chief rival.

At that point, Krateros would have regarded Alexander’s cohort as “the boys.” They didn’t have major offices, although were rising to some key junior commands. For instance, Hephaistion apparently commanded the “agema” (later term but good enough for this) of the Hypaspists. That’s the king’s own unit, who acted as his personal bodyguard in battle and actually ran with the cavalry squadron (!, yes in full armor). They would have been composed almost entirely of aristocratic young men: e.g., former Pages. So that’s a plum command for Hephaistion…but he didn’t command a whole SECTION of the army, like Philotas and the Companions.

Hephaistion, Leonnatos, Perdikkas, Seleukos…they weren’t a threat to Krateros. He could be friendly to them, may even have cultivated Hephaistion especially, for his unique access to the king. You may be thinking, Man, he sounds like a user! Well, yes. That’s how the Macedonian court functioned, although I think Krateros was more ruthless, and successful, than most.

Then he got an unexpected gift-horse: the Dimnos Conspiracy and Philotas’s casual (and deeply stupid) dismissal of the warning about it. Krateros went right for the jugular.

I want to make a point that I also made in “Crisis and Opportunity: the Philotas Affair…again.” We absolutely must resist looking backwards from the outcome to ascertain motives. When the scared Pages finally approached Ptolemy, who then went to Alexander and the other Friends, NOBODY knew what the outcome would be. It was not planned. It really was a crisis.

Yet Krateros saw opportunity in the crisis, and as a successful field commander, ran with it. So I see him, not Hephaistion, as the architect of the accusation against Philotas. HE had the most to gain (he thought), and if Plutarch can be believed in this, it wasn’t the first time he’d tried to bring Philotas’s snarky words and bad behavior to Alexander. As alluded to above, he’d paid Philotas’s mistress to report to him what Philotas said during “pillow talk” as early as Egypt. Now it could be (and quite probably was) that he saw Philotas’s bragging and claims to victories as a real threat to the king. (Kinda like shadow presidents in Mar-a-Lago.) People can have more than one motivation. They can even have a “good” motivation (protecting Alexander’s pride and reputation) alongside a “bad” motivation (making Alexander resentful of Philotas). Alexander’s pride was touchy too. 😉 Even if he blew off Krateros’s accusations at the time, we can imagine he was still stung. Seeds successfully planted!

We must, however, be careful not to read the final results back into the assumptions of the people at the time. Hindsight 20/20 and all that. I do NOT think Krateros believed this would result in Parmenion’s removal/death, although I do think he wanted to get Philotas arrested and executed.

Also, I do NOT believe Hephaistion had any idea he was about to be elevated to command of half the Companion Cavalry. He’d have had no reason to think he’d be leapfrogged over older, loyal men, such as Krateros…or Kleitos, who wound up as his co-commander.

Hephaistion’s motivation? Friendship. In “Crisis and Opportunity” I stressed it was friendship to Alexander, but I’ve also come to think that Krateros may have talked him into it, so also friendship, or at least alliance, with Krateros, who knew he could rile Hephaistion’s blood. He wanted that sheen of authentic anger. I want to quickly add that Koenos joined in with the torturers because he feared going down with the ship, as he was Philotas’s brother-in-law.

All this neatly explains why it was Hephaistion to whom Philotas appealed during his torture. Not because he orchestrated it, but because he had the least reason of the three to want Philotas out of the way. He was in it for passion and so, might then be moved to pity. Krateros was all-in from the outset, and Koenos had to be to save his own neck from Philotas’s arrogant stupidity.

So Philotas was convicted, executed, and then Alexander felt he must also execute Parmenion because he was sitting on Alexander’s all-important supply lines during a major operation. That is not a pretty picture and must be acknowledged as much. Philotas Did a Dumb, and lost his life for it. Extreme, but he dug his own grave. Parmenion was flat-out murdered. Realpolitik does not excuse the death of the man who’d sided with Alexander, put him on the throne, then advised him so capably.

In any case, from Krateros’s point of view, this was terrific. Philotas was out of his way, and so was Parmenion. Honestly, I doubt he wanted to see the old man dead instead of honorably retired, but it still cleared the way for him.

Then an astonishing thing happened!

Krateros didn’t get the Companions. Hephaistion did. And Kleitos. Of the younger generation, Hephaistion had just leap-frogged right over the heads of Krateros and all his cohorts. (Again, I think Kleitos was older; there’s no evidence of Krateros being at public odds with him.)

Just imagine how angry Krateros was!

The snotty little upstart! Who the hell did Hephaistion think he was?

So yeah, Krateros got what he wanted: Philotas out of the way. And in the process, he shot himself in the foot.

Plutarch tells us exactly why Alexander made the choice he did: nobody should have that much command authority henceforth, even his best friend. But he did want a man loyal to him in that position. I would not be at all surprised if—crisis past—Alexander recognized Krateros’s maneuvering for what it was…and didn’t indulge him. He wasn’t about to give out promotions for the backstage take-down of a fellow officer.

By the Battle of the Hydaspes against Poros in India (almost three years later), Krateros served the same position as Parmenion: hold the main army while Alexander leads the attack. Yet in between, Alexander had rearranged units. Even the Companions had not only been split, but divided further into six Hipparchies. Hephaistion’s was primary, but only the first of six. He was no longer overall commander. And that would have happened had Kleitos lived or died, as Kleitos had been reassigned as satrap in Baktria. Dividing the Companions had just been the initial sally to a more comprehensive reorganization and power redistribution.

Ergo, if Krateros had power, it would never be equal to Parmenion’s, and it seems to have been deliberately delayed after the Philotas Affair. Krateros dared not get mad at Alexander. Again, as king, Alexander is above these status wars, and the Giver of Good Things.

Another complication for Krateros: Parmenion’s death had angered Parmenion’s loyal men, some of whom Krateros had commanded…and Krateros had been part of Parmenion’s downfall, however indirectly. Wouldn’t it be convenient if he could shift the blame to Hephaistion?

So Hephaistion was now the chief man “in his way.” Plus (fair or not) Krateros resented him for getting the plum assignment, may have convinced himself that Hephaistion used the opportunity to sweet-talk Alexander into giving it to him. Even if he didn’t believe that, he could still have spread the rumor. It was advantageous, displacing soldier’s anger over Parmenion’s death onto Hephaistion. And it would rile up his own battalion/soldiers with indignation on his behalf.

“Stop the steal!” *smirk*

It all exploded in India. We’re not told when, but I suspect sooner rather than later—before the Malian catastrophe. My best guess is after the Hydaspes, possibly while everyone was relaxing for a while in Poros’s kingdom. Bored soldiers are gossipy soldiers, and get restless and pick fights.

Gregor Weber in his analysis “The Court of Alexander the Great as Social System” (Alexander the Great: a new history, 2009) suggested that Alexander encouraged such rivalry among his Hetairoi and Friends, and uses the H. and K. squabble as a peak example. To some degree, that’s true. Competition was endemic to the Macedonian court because it was endemic (maybe EPIDEMIC) to Greek society more broadly. Macedonian kings (not just Alexander) would have encouraged competition as a way of choosing the best officers. The Hetairideia I described in Dancing with the Lion—the Festival of the Companions with competitions—was a real thing. I made up a lot of the details, but we hear about it under the Antigonids, by which time it involved mock battle. But it was said to have been much older. There very well may be ties between the Hetairideia and the original Macedonian “Olympics” at Dion. E.g., the latter may have grown out of the former, but it’s all too vague to know.

Anyway, competition was natural and encouraged at court, but I disagree with Weber about Alexander encouraging THAT particular competition between Hephaistion and Krateros. Weber reads the clever “philobasileus/philalexandros” as encouraging. I see it (and Plutarch’s wording suggests) just the opposite. He was trying to lower the temperature in the room. It didn’t work.

We simply aren’t told enough about the swords-drawn brawl to understand what led up to it. E.g., who started it, as Alexander put it. I don’t mean (and don’t think Alexander meant) who pulled his sword first. He meant who STARTED it. I tend to read that “I’ll kill you both, or at least the one who started it,” as a veiled threat to Krateros. He would have damn well known who started it. He was telling Krateros in that public reconciliation, “Knock it off, dickhead, or else.” And I expect that’s also what he told him in their private meeting/confrontation.

There is more to this, but I’ve said all I want to, for the moment. Again, I’m working on Krateros and Hephaistion at present for a book chapter in a collection, and I’ll also be doing more on them both for a monograph. So I’ll just end with my take on the Indian conflict.

#asks #Krateros #Craterus #Hephaistion #Hephaestion #Alexander the Great #Macedonian history #Macedonian court #Craterus and Hephaestion #Krateros and Hehaistion #Greek history #Classics #Tagamemnon

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