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kitkatwinchester · 1 year

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OMG I WAS RIGHT!!

IT'S THE SCENE IT'S THE SCENE IT'S THE SCENE IT'S THE SCENE IT'S THE SCENE IT'S THE SCENE IT'S THE SCENE IT'S THE SCENE!!!

IF YOU THOUGHT I WAS EXCITED ABOUT THE STYDIA PANIC ATTACK SCENE!!

JUST YOU WAIT!!!

Because the SCILES PANIC ATTACK SCENE?!

THAT'S what made me watch this show!!

THIS SCENE!!!

RIGHT HERE!!!

THIS IS THE REASON I AM CURRENTLY SO OBSESSED WITH THE AMAZINGNESS THAT IS TEEN WOLF!!!

THIS INCREDIBLE SCILES SCENE!!!

BECAUSE IT'S EVERYTHING!!!

And it's SO REALISTIC!!!!

The way that Scott, no matter how much he likes Kira, and no matter how engrossed and distracted he is by the bardo research, drops everything the second he realizes that Stiles is in distress.

The way he immediately gets up and runs to him with all of the urgency in the world, ready to catch him if he falls, and determined to get him out of there as quickly as he can.

The way he is so clearly worried and almost near panic himself because his best friend is struggling and he doesn't know how to fix it...until he does.

The way he schools his own emotions, collects himself, and keeps his voice so calm and so steady and forces Stiles to look at him and focus on him and COUNT WITH HIM.

The way Stiles turns to look at Scott, pure panic and pure fear and so out of focus and lost, but forces himself to do what Scott's asking, because it's SCOTT.

The way Scott says "five" with that little smile when he realizes it's working and Stiles is listening and he's gonna be able to get him through this and out of it.

The way Stiles' breaths keep hitching because he's so scared they'll get to ten and there will be one more, but he keeps going because Scott is asking him to and Scott is staying calm and Scott doesn't seem the least bit concerned.

The way Scott says "ten" so softly, yet so forcefully, repeating it so that Stiles can finally establish that there are ONLY TEN, and that he's OKAY, and that this ISN'T A DREAM, and that Scott is RIGHT THERE, in the flesh, HAVING HIS BACK.

The way Stiles just freezes, and his breathing evens out, and he finally looks, REALLY LOOKS, at Scott and processes that he's okay.

The way he collapses, so tired, and still so worried, but breathing and alive and HERE.

The way that Scott stares at him in concerned relief, knowing that they've gotten through the worst of it, but that Stiles is clearly still upset.

The way Scott crouches down next to him, but gives him his space, and stays calm and collected and confident and determined, no matter how worried he still is.

The way Stiles, even out of the panic attack, feels like it's all over, and feels like they'll never be able to help anyone or fix anything.

The way Scott, in not so many words, tells him that they'll figure it out, because they have each other, and that's all that matters.

IT'S SO FREAKING PERFECT!!!

You know, that near-suicide scene...

It's amazing, and it's beautiful, and it's so well done, and so well acted, and so emotional and heartfelt, and it's one of the best scenes in the whole show.

But I'm gonna be honest. I don't know if ANYTHING can beat this panic attack scene for me.

Because it's just SO PERFECT.

The acting is AMAZING. The way Dylan acts out the panic attack, the way Tyler acts out the inevitable worry that comes with being the helper in that situation, but also the love and kindness that can make or break that situation.

The realism is so on point. As much as I love the Stydia panic attack scene, in most real-life panic attacks, kissing the person probably would just make it worse, not better. But THIS situation...this is EXACTLY how a real-life panic attack would go down, and exactly how a loved one could help bring you out of it.

More than anything, it's a BEAUTIFUL, yet slightly more subtle, representation of Scott and Stiles' friendship and just how much they mean to each other.

AND I LOVE IT SO FREAKING MUCH!!!

I have class in 45 minutes, which means there's no way I make it through this episode right now, because you KNOW I'm about to keep going back and re-watching that scene over and over again, but it's just SO PERFECT!!!

I LOVE SCOTT AND STILES SO MUCH I SWEAR TO GOD!!!!

WHAT A MOMENT!!!!

As a very quick aside, can we talk about how sweet Kira is for grabbing their backpacks for them and going to look for them (even though it almost got her mauled by coyote Malia)? She CAN'T be evil, right?? (Please don't be evil. She really doesn't give me evil vibes, so I'm REALLY hoping that doesn't come back to bite me.)

ANYWAYS SCILES IS THE BEST!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

(I MEAN COME ON MAN!!! IT'S SO PERFECT!!! (Also "the nurse's office" lol) <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3)

#scott mccall #stiles stilinski #scott and stiles #stiles and scott #sciles #panic attacks #ptsd #trauma #anxiety #okay but like #seriously #as someone who has really bad anxiety #and has my fair share of meltdowns and panic attacks #this is EXACTLY what i would need from a friend #it's also what i've been lucky enough to receive from certain friends #and it makes ALL the difference #dealing with one on your own #and dealing with one when you have a friend like scott??#it's so much easier and suddenly becomes more manageable #and that's an amazing and beautiful thing #and i'm so freaking glad #that scott and stiles have each other #because they need each other #and they deserve each other #and the love each other #and i love them <3 <3 <3 #literal friendship goals #and it's what makes this show so good #i love them so much <3 <3 <3 <3 #teen wolf season 3

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msvorderofoperations · 1 month

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New dream diary.

This one was kind of odd in its tone. At times deathly serious, and others incredibly superficial. I dreamed that I was in a far future kind of setting where this game had kind of taken over the world at large for good and for ill. It existed in many forms: a miniature based war game, a trading card game, and mixed reality massively multiplayer online video game. I say mixed reality, not just as something that incorporates real world objects into itself, but as something that directly affects reality as well. It also conferred great powers on high level players. But I will get back to this in a bit.

Another aspect of this dream was that I was in a polyamorous relationship in a sort of hub and spoke system. Myself and a few other people were romantically involved with this one woman, but weren't really involved with each other. And for whatever reason, the polycule all lived together, except for the woman we were all romantically tied to. Some of them I got along with great, and we were good friends, but this one guy I did not much like at all and we pointedly tried to spend as little time around each other as possible. This is borne out at one point by this guy talking up how much time they are going to spend together the next time she visits, and I take him at his word. But when she arrives, she specifically wants to be with me.

This is awkward for a number of reasons, not all of them interpersonal. I had been prepping for a day to myself, playing a single player version of the card game which was offline but could still record progress and would update my associated stats upon the next time I logged in. I also had not fully bathed, and this is where the dream took a very tonally strange tangent. Instead of bathing at home like would be the sane thing to do, I instead find out about a fully automated robotic bathhouse in India, and opt to use it instead. Doing so involves me fully teleporting myself to the complete other side of the world, which I do as a lark. But in doing so, I forget to bring my shampoo, so my hair is still a greasy mess. And again, instead of just doing it at home, I feel the need to make the trip once more.

Unsurprisingly, one of the things our shared romantic interest wanted to do together was have sex. But in thinking I was not going to be partaking today, I gratified myself shortly before she arrived. Which the dude who lied about her being with him today (sorry that I don't have names here, my dream did not provide any so I have to describe everyone in terms of my relationship to them) makes fun of me for doing. Which, in addition to being shitty by itself, he implies that by doing so I am unworthy to be in a relationship with her because of it. For her part, she does not seem to pay this any mind. She is actually quite interested in the details, because she finds the idea of me touching myself to the idea of her very hot. From here the narrative starts to pull away, as for whatever reason my dreams will often be sexually charged but they almost never actually feature any explicit sexual content.

The narrative then takes on a more limited-omniscient perspective, showcasing the shared goings-on of the other members of the polycule as I am away with our shared love. Specifically, it starts with one of the people I am friends with investigating a recent, and hugely influential moment that happened in the MMO part of this game. It was a group activity that involved trying to stop the latest attack from the antagonist faction, which went about as bad as it could have. All of us had different roles and skill sets, which we had tried to apply as best we could to minimize the impact of this event. I will spare the unimportant details, but the long and short of it is the my role was the intelligence gatherer, and I found out what the object of this enemy incursion was. Despite being about a large scale attack across many parts of the in-game space, the main objective for them was a bomb, planted in a playground at a school. I tried to warn people of this, saying "Its a bomb, in the mirror in the playground." But for whatever reason my messages were becoming garbled and what people heard was "In the mirror underground" and no one could make sense of it, so they took it as being spam.

While the thing with the bomb was happening, the guy who was determined to undermine me was dealing with his own problems. He had proper heard my warning and had been trying to make his way to the school to either disarm it or evacuate. Unfortunately, he had run afoul of the bunch of extremely dangerous high-level enemy monsters. They were the weird giant worm-like things that could move shockingly fast, and had minor reality warping powers. Specifically, they had the ability to redirect kinetic weapons fire elsewhere, which was a big problem because that was the main way this dude engaged in combat. The last time he had fought these things, they redirected his bullets into another member of the polycule, and killed them. Vowing to not let that happen again, he instead tries to escape, but it proves very difficult as he has become surrounded. The one merciful thing about these worm enemies is that while they have incredible hearing and absurd reaction speed, they are completely blind. So while he can't find his way free or fight out, as long as he stays calm he isn't in much danger himself.

Eventually though, the time to stop the attack passes and the bomb does end up going off. It is discovered in the aftermath that the reason the placement went undetected was because the explosive being used is a new, novel compound that does not read as an explosive. It is functionally an inert mud in basically all circumstances, but once the catalyst is introduce it becomes a hyper-powerful energetic explosive. To the point that all it took to blow up this whole school was something about the size of a tennis ball. And the very weird thing is, the catalyst is blood. Any kind will work.

Also in the ongoing investigation, there is a secondary site where no lives were lost but has fairly significant structural damage. In winding back the game state to see how bad it actually is, he sees that a player was present at the time of the event. It turns out to be the guy who was trapped by the worms. It seems in his frustration at having not been able to stop the explosion, in the ensuing chaos after he went on a destructive rampage in a place where there were no people present and then used the editing powers granted to high-level players to make it look like it was done by the opposing faction.

When my time alone with my paramour comes to an end, my friend quietly confronts me with the information that the other guys was responsible for the secondary destruction. We are keeping it on the down low not because we place any blame on him, but because we see that this event has enormously effected him and that we want to try and help him work through what he's going through. So we opt to try and organize a group activity for the whole polycule.

While that is happening, the subject of all our affection tries to make good with the dude who is clearly Going Through It and low-key making it everyone's problem. She tries assisting him with other aspects of the game like the TCG and the miniature, but at every juncture, he brushes her off and intimates that he is better off alone. Which obviously is very upsetting to her.

In the meantime however, we have finished our planning for the group excursion. We opt for something simple in just taking a walking tour of an area downtown and sampling the food and drink available at the best places there. As we are are out and about, an incident occurs. In a shared roadway, a dude in a pickup truck doesn't stop for us, and I end up doing pretty intense damage to it to stop it before it hits anyone. In trying to fix up his truck in the aftermath, I end up kind of ham-fistedly apply the high-level editing powers that I have only recently been given access to. I try to restore the surface of the hood of the truck back to what it was, but end up incorporating the surface of the road and the dirt beneath into it's appearance. While my friend shows me more direct ways of utilizing the powers to more useful ends, the troubled guy goes to check on the driver.

It's at this point that this take a turn for the worse. The driver is fully unconscious, which is odd because the truck had been moving very slowly at the time of the accident. In checking his face against records, it turns out that this guys is a known collaborator with the enemy faction and is wanted by the authorities. As this is happening we have opened the hood to see if there was any damage to the engine that we can repair. And we find...nothing. No engine, no battery, nothing that would allow this car to move under it's own power. Just ruptured containers and what looks for all the world like clay soil. We quickly realize that this car was being used to smuggle whatever this substance is, and by hiding it in the engine bay and impelling it through unseen means, cursory searches wouldn't find it. Some kid grabs a chunk of it, and before anyone can stop him, all hell breaks loose.

In handling it and tossing it to himself, it hits a mosquito and it becomes abundantly clear what this stuff is. it explodes with a incredible report, and the whole scene erupts in incredible carnage. Because of how crowded this place had been, the viscera keeps reigniting it, all while the shock of the explosions push the remaining amounts of the stuff all over the place. It has a terrible cascading effect where is seems that there is no safe place to be. Even those off street level in the buildings above are succumbing to secondary and tertiary explosions. I am able to survive the initial blast and try to corral people to stem the tide of violence, but nothing seems to be working. While all this mayhem is going on, I see my love trying to save someone who has broken off from the group. And I see in excruciating detail as a rogue piece of debris catches her in the head and immediately and soundlessly kills her.

At this point I wake up.

#subconscious conversation #long post #I really wish I had an idea why so many of my dreams take on this long-form narrative affect #it would probably be easier to parse as to what my brain was trying to recontextualize if stuff was in smaller more manageable chunks #Like I can get a lot of what my brain is relating to in most circumstances #but in trying to get the correct context I have to also extract a bunch of other ancillary shit or I might miss losing something important #But I can definitely see some aspects of my real life in this #The feeling of powerlessness in trying to fix problems #The inherent complications of trying to maintain an ethical polyamorous relationship #The misapplication of strength or skills that can serve to make problems far worse #and the inherent anxiety that comes with that #This dream was A LOT #not just in terms of violent content #but just in calling out a lot of stuff I've been not so quietly worrying about for a long while #and as is frequently the case recognizing all this shit does precisely fuck all in actually providing solutions

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