#family stuff

[naomiknight-17]

When I catsat for my Dad recently, I noticed that although Char's outer coat was well-groomed, his undercoat was tangled and beginning to form mats. And I KNOW my Dad brushes him regularly, but clearly the brush he was using was not doing the job

I tried to brush Char a bit myself with our slicker/undercoat wire brush, but he didn't know and trust me enough to let me do it for long.

So when Dad helped us out the next week by driving us and our boys to the vet, I dragged him into the nearby pet shop afterwards and got a proper undercoat brush for Char, with Dad complaining and bitching the whole time that it was fine and he didn't need it and I didn't have to blah blah

That was a few weeks ago. Today Dad came over for the Sunday family Tim Hortons run, and he says to me

"Hey, that brush you got for Char? It really works!!"

"Oh yeah? When he was here I noticed his undercoat was pretty tangled-"

"Not anymore! His coat is great now!"

And I am still just beaming. I helped the kitty :) kitty not tangled now :) :)

Here is a Char from catsitting times for your enjoyment:

#he is a massive boy #cats #char #charmander the cat #mod post #family stuff

[cheerchime]

It is Easter and it is Trans Day of Visibility and I am with my grandparents, who are so loving, and my father, who is also loving but forgetful, and I transitioned years ago, and my dead name sucks the air from my lungs every time it's said, which is often.

It is usually a direct misnaming. And I gently say, "I go by Gordon these days, actually" in that friendly jokey way. And I am bearded, and low-voiced, and a woman in the hall called me a dapper young man. And my grandfather clarifies to my grandmother, trying to be kind, "She uses a different name now."

To my grandmother, I am sometimes her son. I am sometimes a friendly young stranger. Or, sometimes, I am the dead name, and she asks if I have a frog in my throat, and goodness, what a mustache! There's no shame in shaving, she assures me.

Sometimes, she asks where dead name is. Sometimes, she supposes I must be dead name's husband, though she never knew me to date men.

It's not fair of me to be hurt. They are old, and ill, and have always been so, so kind. They love their gay son, and they loved me as their gay granddaughter.

My father is a wonderful robot who loves the forest but doesn't see the trees. A fountain of love for humanity, but only a vague understanding of the individual humans. He cannot call me by my name, and I know I can't take it personally. It simply doesn't matter to him, and that is alright, because I know he loves the idea of me, and loves my queer world, even if he will never actually see me as me.

I am here, in my phone, reminding myself of my great fortune, the great love my family has shared with me. But I am also here aching to be known by the people who have meant the most to me.

In perfect moments, however, my grandparents do remember. And I am Gordon, and Gordon is loved, even though he was reborn in ways they don't fully understand.

Then it's gone, and I let them see whatever ghost they want to see, and I am an invisible grandson carrying the corpse of their granddaughter like a pallbearer, buckling under the weight of myself.

It was worth it, my rebirth, whether or not they see it.

It is Easter Sunday, and I saved my damn self.

#text #vent #trans #family stuff #it's been an extra tough one today #i know i am so so so lucky compared to so many #and to those who suffer under any degree of this sort of shit: #i am so sorry #and i see you #and so will the people who become your true and living family #you're allowed to leave your corpse to those who prefer to wallow in rot rather than rejoice in your bloom

[pythonmelon]

Okay this is one of my favorite things I've sewn, hands down- over fifty years ago my grandma made a quilt with these fabric flower squares, and held on to a bunch of extras. She passed them on to me, asked that I make something with them, and it took FOREVER but I finally finished this quilt (my first) over the pandemic- 14x16, 224 squares (plush two little pillows with the spares). Three generations of these little flower squares, last picture is the two blankets side by side

#Quilting #Sewing #Crafts #Crafting #Textiles #Family stuff #Here comes another python post #Art

[sodabottlehfjone]

do you guys wnat to know my bryce family head canons

#not daily #family stuff

[aformerghost]

This year:

Broke up with someone I’ve been with for 5 years but terrorized me.

Bought a car without a down payment (sorry credit score).

Found a great job unexpectedly.

Proved to myself I can still climb through mountains on an backpacking trip.

Didn’t collapse when two of my immediate family members moved out of state.

Let myself feel all the bad and the good feelings, not giving myself as much shit for it.

#2023 #this year #year in review #relationships #break up #breaking up #mental health #exercise #backpacking #work #jobs #cars #buying a car #family #life shit #job life #work life #camping #family stuff

[genderqueerturtle]

Decided to draw Don 🧬

@othellovonryan-9000

#tmnt #rottmnt #donnie #donatello #rottmnt Donnie #fictive #introject #system art #my art #family stuff #system stuff #leo talks

[enbycrip]

Hey TV writers and producers could you maybe write a few shows my parents would watch with nonbinary characters in them please?

I’ve been trying to talk about nonbinary gender with them for nearly a decade now and it just doesn’t seem to get in anywhere. They nod and say they get it and go right back to using my AGAB pronouns. And honestly I don’t even know where to start that’s more bridgeable than that, and my sibling is nonspeaking and doesn’t give a fuck about gender so he’s not able to help.

And I do actually remember those really cringey anvilliciius sitcoms with the So Middle Class white gay and lesbian couples in the 1990s and 2000s were actually big things that shifted my parents’ mindset about that just being a normal thing. They genuinely don’t give a toss about my cousin having a wife now as far as I can tell.

So, yeah, maybe some cringey white abled nonbinary folk in sitcoms and dramas my folks would watch would actually be genuinely helpful? And have them have to deal with GCs being fucking terrible to them and do a Big End of Episode Speech about how much living with the fact of who you are being denied by people you love is like being kicked in the stomach on a daily basis?

Maybe they and cis folk like them will actually listen to that the way they won’t listen to me.

#sitcoms #shitty late 90s sitcoms #nonbinary #trans nonbinary #trans #queer #family stuff #cw mention of gender crits #representation matters

[purpleartrowboat]

being an older sibling is like. no i dont want to play with you, im busy. why are you crying? mom? yeah, she can be like that. stop stealing my stuff! get out! should he be playing outside? its dark, what if something bad happens to him? you need a shirt? okay. clean your room, its gross. i love you. you are so frustrating. i don't want to leave. yeah, i can buy you that. stop being so loud. i care about you. i love you. i want to protect you

#zylo's posts #older sibling #siblings #family stuff #positivity #love

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

Oscillating between the guilt of not helping out my sister more with her four, soon to be five, kids, and the indignation of having told her my rent went up and her having asked for money four times since then, in the space of two and a half months.

Like, I can't afford it. I cannot afford to foot the bill for every bad decision she makes. I have tried to give her advice. I have tried to direct her to services. I have defended her when our mother shits on her, and I have spent a considerable amount of money to help her out. A couple years ago it was literally $1000 in the space of three months. That was a month's worth of rent for me. It's gone up since then.

She keeps making ill-thought out choices. Let's move out of the city where everything is far away and there's no daycare! Let's breed a bunch of cats we don't have the space for to make some extra money but because their isn't enough space and now there's a smell, we're getting evicted! She won't dump the boyfriend, who doesn't contribute financially at all, he just keeps getting her pregnant and sitting on his fucking ass texting other women--and I have held my tongue on that situation till it feels like my mouth may bleed because I know you're not supposed to.

But I am not rich. I am not middle class. I am under the fucking poverty line! I can't keep it up! I'm living off fucking PBJ sandwiches and some fruit for fuck's sake! It feels like I could be living out of a cardboard box and she would find me to ask for money.

I feel like such an asshole when I tell her "it's disrespectful to ask me for money on the first of the month when I've literally told you my rent went up" or when I tell her "I need you to make better decisions" when she asked me for money two months after I had given her $1000 in the space of three months. But I can't fucking keep this up. I have told her over and over and over she cannot depend on me for money.

I can no longer afford to pay for choices I didn't make.

#personal #family stuff

[homosexual-newsboy]

gotta love family gatherings

it’s loud, my cousins half of them are annoying assholes

four different people made a comment about the fact that I had a second (sliver sized mind you) piece of cake which is awful because I already have a hard time eating

there was lots of cheese and I like cheese and now I feel like I’m gonna fucking puke

My cousins girlfriend shares a name with me (my dead name)

my other cousins fiancé reminds me of Karen from mean girls

one cousin and his girlfriend came into my room while I was in there hiding and started talking to me and it was mixed feelings

and on top of that the main table topics are how much they hate queer people and how much they hate disabled people which is pretty common given I live in Utah

I hate family gatherings

#Vent sort of #Family stuff #aaaahhhhh #dont comment on how much I eat bitches I already struggle to make myself eat #I cannot

[naomiknight-17]

Mom is making spaghetti with meat sauce for dinner and has invited me to join but I do not want to

This is a problem

#she'll be offended if i don't go #but i don't like pasta with meat sauce #partially because it reminds of times we were in worse poverty and we ate pasta and red sauce ALL THE TIME #because it was extremely cheap #and i got sick of it. and it reminds me of being poor #i could make honey garlic tofu tonight... or i could go eat sad poverty dinner at mom's #uuuuugggghhhhh #mod post #food #family stuff #also i love my mom and brother very much but i just don't have the energy to keep up with conversation #we already had dinner with them last night and coffee/breakfast with them this morning #can i have a break please