#my characters have to be bad at communicating and its honestly difficult

[koiiiiijiii]

windbreaker characters & their possible love trope (part 1)

warnings : no in general, maybe a ooc, but its my point of view, fluff

recommend : to turn on Lana Del Ray - West Coast

୭🧷✧˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀

Dom - arranged marrige. we take into account the fact that Dom is the heir of the yakuza. His father had long dreamed of the idea of uniting the two clans to expand the business, strengthen the position, and in general he was very close with the head of another clan, you know the type of male friendship when they brag about who has the coolest car and everything like that. (for about the same reason, you and Dom have an age difference of a couple of months) In general, when you were born, your fathers did not immediately decide that this would be a planned marriage, they still wanted freedom of choice for their children, but the two old men were too fascinated when you and Dom played together in the sandbox, or you two shared toys, and overall you got along great as babies. But as the years passed, interests changed, and from about 2-3 grades you began to have a "crisis in relationships", Dom were more interested in the "boyish" things, you in turn discovered the Internet and the charms of fictional characters (real footage of all of us). Therefore, your communication has gone from about infantile sympathy to childish antipathy when boys say "eeew girls, im not interested in them" and to the complete cessation of communication over the years. Well, your fathers also almost lost hope, trying to try on two fifth graders at holiday feasts, but everything ended up making faces at each other, and Dom’s first showed middle finger and yours first obscene phrases in response to him (later you both received a cradle from your parents) but the decision had already been made, and so everyone decided to just wait.

In fact, everything happened spontaneously. As it happens, girls grow faster, and there were no exceptions with you. So since you saw each other less often, Dom did not immediately recognize you, and of course refused to admit to himself that he liked you, and he decided to shove this sympathy away. A couple more years have passed, and you again super accidentally (no) met at one of your parents' clubs. This time it was your turn not to recognize Dom. And when you realized in the morning whose house you were in, you were shocked. So it tooks you two another 1-2 years to actually accept that planned things needed to be done and the idea of marriage in the first place wasn’t that bad.

Owen - forbidden love/ rivals/ competitors. While you honestly believed that your boiling hate for each other was mutual, Owen found it quite cute and intriguing how each time you trying to compete with him and how mad you get if you lose or if he jokingly flirts with you. Of course, he found you quite an interesting opponent, but you attracted him more as a girl, although it was still difficult because of your rival teams, and as Camila once told him when she noticed how he was staring at you at another training session, where he came intentionally before the rest of the Light Cavalry participants, "This won't be good for the image of our team." Usually you see him in training center, when your team finishes training, or when you wait for Light Cavalry to finish, or on the competitions and it always ends with your threatenings to his life or his bike. Of course you didn’t mean it so serious, it was kinda like tradition - he always so nice and jokes around while you all loud and screaming at him for his flirting lines.

Usually, you two never see each other somewhere in the city or on the streets, apparently you lived in different areas and everyday affairs were too different from each other, but somehow, now, almost at 11 pm, you look at each other in surprise, standing in the park, where both of you came to practice and free your heads from burdened thoughts. Owen wanted to break the awkward silence by greeting you, but you beat him to it by sternly asking “What are you doing here?” He smiled softly and running his hand through his hair, as he replied “I came here just to clear my head before sleep, shortcake. I hadn’t any intentions to interrupt you.” And looking up at you again, he smiled so sweetly, in his usual manner. You clicked irritably and went to meet him, “Then, since you're already here, let's have a race, and the loser is looking for another park, deal?” Again, she frowned so sweetly at her eyebrows, just the very seriousness - Owen thought to himself looking down at you from his height. Like all the smartest, the idea was certainly not bad, you even thought at the moment that you were about to win, because the agreed finish was already around the corner, when suddenly Owen jumped out from behind you and did a risky trick that allowed him to get ahead. But unfortunately, either out of surprise or confusion, you lost control and collapsed almost at the finish line. Your speed was decent, and your knees, shoulders and arms had a hard time now, all bleeding. Slowly rising from the ground, you felt such resentment and at the same time anger, either at yourself or at Owen. And all such a seething feeling of resentment, because of such a small mistake, to lose at the very finish, overwhelmed you with your head, and flowed out with tears from your eyes. You sat down by your fallen bike, hugged your bleeding knees and buried your forehead in them letting yourself cry. Suddenly you felt someone stroking your head and sitting down next to you, putting his hands on your shoulders. Looking up, as you expected, you saw Owen, and shrugged your shoulders and squeal at him “Get the fuck away from me! I don’t need your pity and help!” “Hey, hey, easy shortcake, im not a monster to let girl, who is also injured, be alone in park at night.” He tried to take you by the shoulders again. “I said get away!” You clearly didn’t planned to stop crying, and Owen understood that you’ll have a tantrum in a moment, so he decided to ignore your screams and pulled you closer, already hugging you completely. Of course, you didn't appreciate this gesture, you started pounding him in the chest with your fists, shouting for him to let go, for you to try again, that this time you would definitely defeat him and in general how much you dislike him. And Owen just held you tight, and let your screams and crying be drowned out in his sweater. After a couple of minutes, you were just crying into his chest while he pulled you closer, sat you down between his legs and just gently stroked your back.

When you finally calmed down and raised your tear-stained, red eyes to him, Owen gently put his hand on your cheek and quietly asked, “Well, have you calmed down? Will you let me help you now, shortcake?” taking a confused look away from him and blushing, you said, “If anyone finds out about this, you're finished, got it?” Owen laughed loudly and pulled you closer to him, and dropping his free hand on your cheek, gently kissed you.

Harry - hate/love or sunny/grumpy. Even ignoring the fact that you’ve been in the same team, he somehow never liked you. Honestly, he didnt even know the reason. You had such a bright personality, always nice to people around and guys in team,but still defended your interests and borders when it was necessary. Harry just couldn’t stand you. In his eyes you were quite ideal, he even accepted that you were kinda powerful at cycling. But most blood boiling fact about you were that Harry knew perfectly - he had a thing for you, but he decided for himself to hide it under mask of indifference and disinterest, because come on, feelings make you weak (such a men moment)

But the other thing about you that Harry absolutely couldn’t stand - is your tears. He saw it only twice, once when it was your first year with the Light Cavalry, the team came to wish you a happy birthday right at 12 a.m., and you burst into tears from the joy and sweetness of this act of attention. And the other time was when Harry himself brought you to tears, because you chewed his brains all day. He think that sometimes you have a bad habit activated, walking around and teasing him all day, offering to compete in something, and just dripping on his brain, because you probably have a pleasure to bring him to a white heat. And when he couldn't stand it one more time, he turned sharply at you and barked - "Are you a complete idiot? I think I told you to fuck off from me, leave me alone and go fuck someone else's brains out. How many times can I tell you, I don't intend to compete with someone like you," - and Harry took care to squeeze the word "like" like poison into your mind. And fortunately for him, as he convinced himself, you stopped bothering him after that time and resorted to communicating with him only in the most necessary cases. So for the first few days he liked how you avoided him, but after a week and a half of your absence from his daily life, he began to feel sad and guilty for being harsh with you... But wasn’t it your own fault!? That's right, it was your fault. But didn't he like your attention? Wasn't he warmed by the rays of your warmth?.. Damn, all these thoughts were difficult for Harry, and he did it easier - he left training earlier, stopped by the store on the way, bought a random gift that reminded him of you, went to your house and waited for you at the entrance to the house. To say less, you were shocked when you saw him near the building were you live, but decided to act all cool and just to pass by. He didn’t let you. Harry grabbed your elbow, but you tried to pull away, he turned you around to face him and grabbed your other elbow. “Let me go, you creep!!” You could feel how tears forming in your eyes. You didn’t understand why he even came here, he supposed to be in other place, he supposed to hate you, he supposed… “For the fuck sake just shut up and take it.” He handed you a gift. You were confused and looked up at him with an obvious question “why?” in your pretty eyes. Harry clicked tongue, left your elbows and started to walk away. When you softly mumbled “Thank you” he turned around and quickly closing the distance, he awkwardly hugged you. For the first few seconds you freaked out, but gave up and hugged him back and mumbled "You idiot" in his hoodie. Harry chuckled at your comment and squeezed your back harder "At least im not a crybaby as someone". He got a reminder that you can kick his knees pretty hard.

Hwangyeon - school crush. You were quite popular girl from his class - moderately smart, kind, but not enough to take advantage of your kindness, beautiful and friendly person in general. The fact that Hwang tried to get your attention by his money flex, “cool” - as he thought - actions towards other people in school, where so obvious, as the fact that he liked you. But you weren’t impressed by his shitty personality and usually you treated him coldly or mocked him about he is trying to assert himself at the expense of others. Was he mad at you for that? No, of course, he melted like butter in a hot frying pan from every second of your attention, and bragging to his boys that you two had “conversation”.

Actually his friends, everyone around and mainly Sangho were tired of Hwang’s whinings at home and he told him what to do. So here he is, standing in doors of your class begging you to help him with his english class. Since he asked you nicely and promised not to mock students as long as you help him, you agreed to tutor him for some topics that he couldn’t understand. So with time you two became a little bit closer and you even been in his place and know Hwang’s siblings. (both of them thought that he is paying you to be his friend*) In the midst of one of these preparations Hwangyeon was whining about how he didn’t understand anything and probably won’t pass this exam. You hated the fact that he was giving up fast and easy, but luckily you knew how to motivate this guy. In a second, you grabbed his cheeks with both hands, turned his head towards you and said “Listen, we’ve been preparing for this for so long and you gonna drop everything because of small misunderstanding? I already wanted to take you out for ice cream if you wrote this test better than the guy who sits behind me at school, but since you've already given up, well, I guess i’ll have to go with him instead.” you said slowly letting his cheeks go. Hwang took your hand, to let it stay on his cheek and rise his eyes up on you and with dead serious eyes muttered “If my score will be higher than 75%, we will go for that ice cream.” You smiled at him and said that it is deal.

Spoiler : his score was 68% his friends and you laughed at him for his bragging before exam, but you still took him to that ice cream shop and kissed his cheek for a good bye.

*bonus

its been quite long preparation session for english final exam before summer weekends, so you decided to continue at Hwang’s place. it wasn’t your first time visiting his place, maybe third or fourth, so his siblings already knew you, when you enter the house. you greeted everyone, warned them that you would be preparing for the exam and went to Hwang’s room. after few hours of studying you were tired of punching and shouting at your friend so you left the room for glass of juice and in the dim light of the kitchen you met Sangho with his laptop and glass of something probably alcoholic. you stare at each other for a second and you awkwardly announced that you came for pack of juice that two of you left in fridge. Sangho mumbled something softly and turned back to his laptop, when you were about to leave the room he raised his eyes from laptop again and asked in serious voice “did he pay you?”

you froze in place you were standing and on stiff legs, turning to him. “mhmm?”

“did my brother pay you to pretend to be his friend or whatever you two are?”

“n-no? he just asked me for help, t-that’s why im here!” he grunted something like okay and went back to his laptop. when door after you closed, Aria got out from behind the sofa and held out her hand to her brother. Sangho, in turn, pulled a banknote out of his pocket and gave it to his sister without a word.

#[ ~ koi.talks🗣] #x reader #headcanon #windbreaker headcanon #windbreaker x reader #windbreaker #windbreaker webtoon #webtoon #jay jo #dom kang #dom kang x reader #owen windbreaker #owen knight #owen knight windbreaker #owen x reader #owen knight x reader #harry windbreaker #harry shepherd #harry shepherd x reader #shelly scott #shelly windbreaker #shelly x reader #shelly scott x reader #hwang choi #hwangyeon choi #hwang choi x reader

[thisvegetabledoesntfallinlove]

having aromantic feelings in this denny’s tonight bc i had to go on a blocking spree yet again.

I just think like... people don’t know shit about what it’s like to be aromantic. aphobes complain about the Fandomization Of Pride and say shit like “asexuality is basically a fandom thing; if your community is entirely online and based around tumblr tags and headcanons, you cant possibly compare it to actual real life gay experiences”

and like. i have some bad fucking news for you about gay people who live in super homophobic backwater small towns. I’ve known plenty of gay people who were completely closeted irl and whos entire interaction with queerness was online communities, especially gay shipping. that doesn’t mean there aren’t other gay people in those homophobic little towns, its just often too dangerous to look for them. there are definitely other aro people in my backwater little town! I just can’t find them. I’m not saying this is the best way to interact with the queer community! or even a good way! for instance, nobody gives a shit about gay vs aro or bi vs pan irl! this drama is all internet shit! but being terminally online is certainly not a problem unique to aspec people.

honestly, as someone who’s trans, bisexual and aromantic, the thing that’s actually made my life the most difficult for cishets to swallow is the aromantic part. my backwater town is fairly liberal, so they can be chill about the gay thing, they can even tolerate the trans thing, but not getting married???? what do you mean you can’t be like the sweater-wearing chaste gay dads in the commercials? what do you mean you don’t want to date but you still want to have sex???????

nothing about my identity is palatable. nothing about me is relatable or marketable. my life, my future, my happiness, looks completely alien to your average cishet. the first time I told someone irl that I was aromantic, the immediate reaction was “oh my god I’m so sorry” as if I just said I had cancer.

like. actually. yknow what. yeah I think the aromantic experience is very easy to compare to my experience as a disabled person. its because I’m fundamentally missing something that Typical People consider completely intrinsically tied to their worth and their happiness. what’s the point of life if you can’t get married? whats the point of life if you can’t have a job? “i’m so sorry to hear you’ll never experience the be all end all of human existence; retiring to live comfortably with your aging partner as your grown children take up the mantle of your legacy.”

people don’t know what its like to be aromantic. they think of it as a tumblr tag, or headcanons, because the only time they bother to interact with aromanticism is when they’re complaining about our headcanons. no one can deny that aspec identity in this decade is intrinsically connected to the internet, in the same way that no one can say that gay identity in 1970s and 80s america wasn’t intrinsically connected to gay bars. its because That’s How You Meet People. queer people have always taken whatever was the current way for humans to connect to each other and carved out their own space.

aromanticism is in the stage where its hard to find other people, and no one knows what you are, and if you explain it to them they think you’re sick. we’re in the stage where we don’t get a lot of explicit canon representation, we have to scrape by on aro readings and subtext and coding.

and it IS coding! its coding! I don’t care if aromanticism wasn’t named yet back then! there are plenty of instances of queer coding from before we had words like “trans” or “gay” or “lesbian” or even “queer.” what matters is that someone somewhere was like “this character has the experience of not feeling the socially mandated attraction to the opposite binary gender,” which is a queer experience whether the person feeling it is gay or aromantic. just like bisexuality and lesbianism weren’t separated for a long time because straight society didn’t care if the wlw could also technically like men, lesbianism and aromanticism and asexuality weren’t separated because straight society didn’t care if the woman who wouldn’t get married to a man wanted to kiss girls or not.

this is way longer than I intended it to be and it got kinda rambly and train-of-thought, and I don’t think I really have any particular conclusion here. just aro feelings. idk if this makes sense but I’m tired of trying to edit it to make more sense so I’m just hitting post

#actually aromantic #actually aro #aromanticism #alloaro #actually autistic #aspec #aphobia mention #queer #queerness #long post

[olderthannetfic]

You might get a kick out of this article someone linked me to, to try and argue that BL is in fact fetishizing (because Yada Yada women consume it and produce it and all that)

https://www.youthoutright.org/articles/fetishization-of-the-queer-community

Article is a fairly short read. But I have to chuckle at it as "evidence" since it makes a fair amount of claims with 0 sources:

That young teenage women make up a majority of fandom (and that's whose consuming/producing BL)

Straight, white women get paid more to write gay romance novels (and that these novels often feature Adonis like males with 0% body fat and no body hair; play into gender/hetero norms)

Etc.

Honestly the....article, if I can even call it that, isn't cohesive. I do find myself agreeing with its first two paragraphs...and surprisingly only the first two. However, this article spends a lot of its time focusing on fetishization of Trans bodies and chasers who go after transfolks bodies (which I'm not too familiar with this so if anyone wants to speak up on this point...)

I'm very confused by how someone could read this and think "this proves my point!"

--

Sigh.

I don't even agree with the beginning. Trashy "girl-on-girl" isn't what's making men think women exist to serve them. Society is doing that. Porn is a reflection, not a cause.

Not to mention the fact that f/f-for-dudes is astronomically common compared to shitheads pestering lesbians in bars. The latter are too common because the correct amount is 0, but just based on the numbers, a lot of dudes are capable of consuming this porn without being confused about what's fiction and what's reality.

The mass quantities of f/f-for-dudes do make it hard to find f/f-for-ladies, but this article has taken the wrong message from that. The correct takeaway is that we need better labeling and search features that are driven by the nerdy desire to categorize and not by algorithms that want to sell you stuff.

As long as het romance novels or porno movies for straight guys or bestselling thrillers or whatever are popular, they're going to drown out the algorithmic results for more niche things one is interested in.

Libraries and AO3 don't have this problem. Amazon and Youtube do.

the world of “slash fiction” (fanfiction portraying a romantic and often sexual relationship between characters from a given source) began centering gay men

Wow, article writer. So you know nothing then.

it’s been claimed that straight, white women are paid more than gay men by publishers to write gay romances

I'm honestly embarrassed for this article writer. First, most of this burgeoning field is selfpub anyway. Second, many established writers in the romance field are women, and established names will probably have a shot at better pay than new people.

Third, anyone who injects "white" like this is a moron and a wanker. If we're talking about racism in the Romance field (and boy howdy is there a lot), white gay men are no better, and men's race is just as relevant as women's. Either we're talking about race or we're not.

As it stands, this author just comes across as a misogynist piece of shit.

The overwhelming majority of these romances portray relationships between white, cis, abled men with no fat or body hair.

I have bad news for them about cis gay men's media. (Well, okay, some of that has a lot of body hair and interminable descriptions of the smell of ball sweat and stinky armpits, but still...)

Men who fit the first archetype will take the position of “top” in the numerous, inaccurate, graphic-as-possible sex scenes that are central to these stories and also appear to be central to many readers’ enjoyment.

I see we're in the usual "I, a sex-repulsed person, speak for all of humanity" mode.

People like horny art. News at 11.

These are complex issues deeply rooted in society. It’s difficult to envision mitigations and solutions. However, somewhere to begin would certainly be promoting more positive, intersectional, realistic representations of queer people and queer relationships. A vital action that can further this goal is choosing to consume media with queer representation that was created by queer people whenever possible.

Honestly, my response to this ending is:

Fuck off, you entitled git.

This uninformed little whiner is equating all kinds of unequal things. Chasers are all over the place, but they aren't the ones writing fanfic or any other amateur, personal writing. We have no right to other people's hobby time. Sure, we can vote with our feet, and we should, but this article doesn't really sound like it's advocating that: it sounds like it's crying that other people have different taste from the writer. Boo, hoo, hoo, someone I don't like got attention.

It's the usual ignorant trash.

Embarrassing.

[mxtxmusings]

svsss characters as hozier songs

bingqiu weird mushroom time - in a week

and you haven’t moved an inch / such that i would not know / if you sleep always like this / the flesh calmly going cold

you cannot tell me this doesn’t give major binghe shizun is not dead i can bring him back vibes

this whole song is just essentially that entire arc

sqh literally complained about bingqiu being too cottagecore

what is more cottagecore than just rotting in the woods next to your lover

we lay here for years or for hours / your hand in my hand / so still and discreet / so long we become the flowers

mushroom sqq

honestly there’s no particular line that stands out to me

besides the refrain i’ll be home with you

i can already imagine the bamboo house

there’s just something so macabre but also tender about this song

PLUS IT’S A DUET

THIS SONG WAS LITERALLY MADE FOR THEM YOUR HONOUR

bingqiu post abyss - as it was

just as it was, baby / before the otherness came

and tell me if somehow / some of it remained / how long you would wait for me? / how long i’ve been away

the idea of a haggard hero who comes home and is greeted by their lover

and comforted by their unchanging love for them

it’s what binghe wishes he could have gotten after he fights his way out of the abyss

but strangely i think the hero coming home is actually shen qingqiu in some ways

lbh came home literally but it is sqq who realizes that he never changed

aka binghe is still a simp

i keep on putting bingqiu together

shang qinghua - be

when the man who gives the order / is born next time ‘round on the boat sent back

when i have no kind words left, love for you

be as you’ve always been (lover be good to me)

if this whole song doesn’t scream shang qinghua during the side stories

idk how to help you

there’s literally a part about when the master is crossed

he literally begs mobei jun to treat him better like idk how to tell you how obvious these parallels are

the energy is 100% different though

but i like that mobei-jun doesn’t magically change or feel different about sqh

turns out their dynamic is just weird as fuck

even jesus can’t take the wheel of their relationship

your honour they are simply incompetent and incapable of proper communication despite one of them being a demon general and the other one being god

mobei-jun - blood upon the snow

the world that hardens as the harsher winter holds / the parent forced to eat its young before it grows

it’s not my arms that will fail me / but this world takes more strength than it gave me

are you seeing the vision

i mean it’s pretty obvious from the cover art

and also the general vibes

the song talks a lot about the brutality of nature, of the world, and how difficult it is to survive

there is a sense of isolation in the song, as though it is better not to get close than to be hurt because that is all they have ever experienced

honestly felt like the whole situation with mobei-jun’s uncle and also his general distrust of people

liu qingge - shrike

i couldn’t utter my love when it counted / ah, but i’m singing like a bird ‘bout it now

this is more about blaming yourself for a breakup

even though that relationship wasn’t always positive, there were still good aspects to it that are missed

but in this case, i see it more as the regret of not even trying

also because i think lqg is incapable of winning i’m so sorry

you snooze you lose

not like he could compete against the protagonist but man didn’t even try

it may seem like i always bully him (which i do) but fun fact he is one of my favourites

bro literally fumbled so bad with sqq though i’m sorry how does he have negative rizz

yue qingyuan - foreigner’s god

she feels no control of her body / she feels no safety in my arms

you cannot tell me that this doesn’t feel like his relationship with both shen jiu and shen yuan

except not literally cheating but yknow

like the vibes are all there istg

i promise all of the pieces are there

i just can’t explain it

like he lost sj when he left him and then he loses him again after the qi deviation

it’s just hopelessly hanging onto somebody that you never had to begin with yknow

and i mean shen yuan is technically a foreigner…

tianlang-jun - jackie and wilson

looking up from a cigarette, and she’s already left / i start digging up the yard for what’s left of me and our little vignette

i think this song really depends on your interpretation of it!

i’ve seen people say it’s about a person who fell in love with this woman and begins to fantasize about a future with her only for her to not return their feelings

or they are disappointed by the idealized version of a woman they have created in their head, only to realize that they’re not interested in the real person

i think the first one is definitely more accurate to his situation with su xiyan but i could see the second one working too when he thinks that she betrayed him?

either way the naive love from this song felt like the right fit for our resident teenage girl stuck in a dilf demon’s body

#Spotify #luo binghe #mxtx svsss #shen qingqiu #mxtx fandom #svsss #tianlang jun #mxtx books #shang qinghua #bingqiu #mxtx #yue qingyuan #liu qingge #peerless cucumber #airplane shooting towards the sky #hozier #wasteland baby #svsss novel #mobei jun #i am probably missing a bunch #and this may not be correct #god knows #there are many interpretations of hozier songs

[skaruresonic]

The whole deal with "But Sonic is inconsistent so who cares?" is kinda funny to me because, technically, it's true! The games have tons of inconsistencies big and small! From retcons to plot holes to inconsistent portrayals. God knows it's led to me barely giving a rat's ass to Sonic canon anymore!

Now find me even a single 30+ year old game franchise that doesn't have similar issues

Mega Man has similar issues.

Castlevania had to restructure its timeline in a somewhat arbitrary way to clear up some early fuck ups within canon

Zelda had to turn its timeline into a goddamn tree and even then they barely care

Metroid is pretty consistent as far as videogame canons go and even there you have the occasional "Eehh no this thing actually happened like this, ignore what the character said last game"

If a series is inconsistent wouldn't you want to, I dunno, make it MORE consistent instead of adding to the overall mess?

Maybe by "inconsistent" they mean "there are so many different adaptations out there that it's difficult to keep track," but even then, that wouldn't be the games' fault.

In terms of narrative, continuity, and core characterization, the series isn't all that inconsistent, honestly. Flanderization by its nature isn't part of core characterization but an exaggeration/bastardization of various traits (in other words, bad writing). And most retcons, such as Eggman having a grandfather and cousin in SA2 but not SA1, occur after the fact, revealing new information as it becomes relevant. It's not so much contradictory as it is just that what we didn't know then, we know now. (However, I would argue that of the entire cast, Knuckles is really the only one who qualifies as inconsistent. But that's for another time.) Each game is mostly standalone yet builds upon previous ones in subtle ways. SA1 references the Classic games; SA2 builds upon SA1; Heroes references SA2 and SA1; Battle references SA1, SA2, Heroes, and ShTH; Advance 3 builds upon Battle; SatBK hearkens back to SA2 with a memory Sonic relays about the Biolizard; Generations references all the games and includes a line that implies SatSR is canon; etc. Sure, certain stories aren't as tightly-written as they could be - one issue I have with Unleashed is that Eggman basically doesn't factor in in the middle of the story when he arguably should - but those metacontextual issues don't factor into whether the series as a whole is inconsistent. More and more I'm starting to feel like those who espouse this viewpoint don't pay terribly close attention to the games, because the games eventually explain themselves for the most part, anyhow. Or else you're operating based on misinterpretations of the source material. For example: "The moon blew up in SA2 so why do we see it in full in ShTH?" becomes a nonissue when you play Advance 3 and Riders and realize Sonic's world has two moons. "Money doesn't exist" is simply not true, because "financial communities" are said to be "impacted" by the Eclipse Cannon demonstration in SA2, Vector's motive is money in multiple games, and you can buy things with rings in Unleashed. "Why don't they say 'oh my Chaos'?" Because Chaos is the God of Destruction, not the world's creator? Also, Amy blasphemes "oh my God" and Sonic games have referenced hell before. So on and so forth. As for a lack of timeline... I honestly don't see it. There may be some weirdness with how Battle fits in, though that can easily be explained as it releasing concurrently with Heroes. Also, I thought it was fairly obvious that Mania/Forces represents a split in the timeline where Eggman obtains the Phantom Ruby at different points. But other than that, I really don't see how the series' timeline is inconsistent. Based on how each game builds upon the previous, there's really no reason not to believe that the games don't occur in chronological order for the most part.

#asks

[lqfiles]

okay, its high time i am now sat to say this!

it has been such a ride with stg, i have thoroughly enjoyed each update so much so that as soon as i'd wake up, i'd pick up my phone and check if you have updated! gawd i have loved it so so much!! sometimes sitting in the class before the lecture would begin i'd sit and write you an ask about it :(

as i've already told you how jisung climbed up my bias list just like that ?? even topping mark somehow who has been my ult for years!! and ofcc how can i not speak on 'slendy', that nickname caught my eye so bad that i really started identifying myself by it! i'm so so so glad that, that one day i decided to send you that ask on how much i loved slendy as a name for jisung, each character that you created somehow had the essence of the real dream in it (except for CHENLE hating on jisung😭)

apart from stg, being a part of the community that you have created has been sm fun!! it has to be destiny that stg ended on my birthday :( it has defo made it sm more special to me, i'd always come back to this, you have officially written my comfort au!

lqfiles, my love! thank you for the hardwork that you have put into the smau, updating so frequently whilst managing college has to be difficult but look at you!! i appreciate your hardwork so so much!!! i have loved stg and will keep doing so <3 looking forward to more of your works!! (very OBVIOUSLY hinting on that hyuck au😍)

love u always, take care sweet one!!

mwahh 💌

-slendy anon!

my cutieful lovely sweety slendy

this is such a cute message 😭😭 it’s honestly crazy fr how you’ve basically stuck around since the beginning and been present for every chapter, and i remember getting that first ask about you gushing over the name slendy and i was kicking my feet because it made my day hearing that lollll and i can’t believe you’d be sending them before your lectures that’s actually cute :D

we went from talking about slendy to sharing our personal life’s in these asks (which the community was interested in too) and the way you’ve made yourself a name on the lqfiles blog is kinda iconic like i’m sure most readers associate stg with slendy anon or any of the other active anons. i still find it funny that stg has for you and apparently some others made jisung a top bias like hearing that makes me feel somewhat impactful when i doubt i am 😭

thinking of it, ending stg on your bday is kinda cool because you were my first OFFICIAL anon isn’t that crazy? guess you could take it as a small thank you for sticking around and sending so many cute messages (as well as private messages, can’t believe you finally messaged me!!!)

tbh managing stg while doing college was hectic at some moments but i also really enjoyed writing it so i don’t regret anything ive done, but thank you for the appreciation you’re so cute bae 😭😭😭💗💗💗 and that hyuck smau will happen hopefully 😝 stg definitely means much more to me because of you and the other anons i got from it!

LOVE YOU MORE SWEETHEART TAKE CARE <33

#asks. #from slendy anon #( score that goal! ) #this is my baby… #i ❤️ slendy anon

[cathalbravecog]

Man... I can't stop thinking about the things that were talked about on the stream, especially the answer on my question - so... get ready for a ramble! its a long one. oops. i dont even know where im going with this, im just dumping my thoughts somewhere. half is about ttcc lore in general and the streams, the other half is about cathal and me projecting onto him deeper.

before i even hop deeper into this, it wasn't until early today that i learned that there was a whole drama about cranky's answers (regarding the graham and flint question and the whole "keep it sane" thing. i thought it was...off, but i understood it as 'do what you want people, just don't start any harassment because of ships and your favorite pairs'.

definitely could have been phrased better, though. at least we got a good response and an apology later from maven on twitter. but i legit did not know this was a drama until those twitter posts were made LOL. i dont interact with the fandom so i do not know how that answer was percieved by most. or if anyone except for me and my friends have had any thoughts about the question i asked that got answered.)

and what im tryna get to is that i get cranky isnt the one to be answering lore things, and probably didnt know what to answer... but it's still something to think about

because being told "cogs and toons just dont become how they are out of the blue" (paraphrasing here) as an answer to what cathal initially thought of seeing his dad be bet up and thrown off a tower is... confusing? he did say first and foremost that it has to be built upon before saying that. i understand that this is... a lot of characters! and cathal did have some focus on him thanks to the comic and they wanted to focus on other managers... but some have deeper, more intricate lore that's easy to grasp (especially the more, well, angstier managers like chip and misty.)

and we have gotten some extra lore for other managers like belle, mary, tawny.... thanks to thomas' rambles.

and it's definitely difficult for a team of volounteers working hard on a fan game together to make lore for all the characters, that are still very young in their *life span*, having been around for less than a year. despite ttcc being more character driven and focused on the cogs, it's still a game they have to run so they cannot focus on lore only and some game management has to be done first. there's a bunch of things they have to consider, like consistency and how fans may react, or possible themes or what they want the story to be...

and. yeah. its hard since. come on lets admit it. clash has an issue with how these are all given to us. hell, there's lore bits i still dont know about and im still learning because it's..so all over the place. a new player will not know about it. maven acknowledged this in the tweet and i really appreciate that, as it's honestly been my number one issue with clash, especially as someone who is there for the lore. (i mean, and the gameplay, i know some people who don't play the game itself much. well i sure do a little TOO MUCH because i have PROBLEMS. but im interested in the lore, too, yknow?)

some lore you cant learn from the wiki, and unless you interact with the community, you may never learn *where* all of this even is. if you werent live for certain lore there, it's hardly accessible to you. lore locked behind one time events, an arg website, wikis, discord chats... all that. it's hard to keep track of! i'm sure it's like that for both the fans and the writers. these characters are great, fun, and i love them, but the way we are given this information is... not the best. it's very easy to miss certain details.

it's especially bad if you're like me - only ever interacting with a close group of people you trust, (because people are scary especially a lot of... lore driven fans. yeahnoimeanshippers.sorry.and just big crowds of people in general) having only gotten back into the game recently AFTER most of the major lore events (first played once in 2019, then never again until january 2023) and also you dislike youtube and video content, so you dont watch it. something in your brain would rather if you step on a nail than watch a playthrough video (especially with commentary).

like in general it shouldnt be necessary to go through all these hoops just to know the lore! especially for things that may have little lore...

anyways, uh, back to cathal. i cannot stop thinking about this.

it definitely wasnt an answer to what i specifically asked - but possibly more so about... why cathal is the way he is? and despite what my brain and low self esteem during hard times may tell me - i do not believe that anybody is truly "lazy". i just dont think that exists. there's always some reason behind a person being unmotivated or lazy. even the little things!

but like... that's just kinda obvious. all toons and cogs have motivations. thats like... one of the basics of writing characters. have motivations for characters and reasons for why they are how they are. doesnt have to be anything tragic, just.... how they are as people.

it's totally unrelated to the question of what cathal thought about seeing his dad like that... but oh well! i asked that because i made up my own story around that already, and i just wanted to see what someone working on the game thinks about the same idea.

not to be Tumblr User CathalBravecog, but, of course I have projected heavily onto cathal. i have already stated how important cathal is to me as a character, especially with appreciating myself when im.. not exactly the most motivated. when im not doing much. taught me to appreciate breaks. hell! i keep preaching this myself. its okay to take breaks! and yet i often end up not doing it and i overwork myself on games and art and other things.

there's... a lot of things "wrong" with me that i don't have names for yet, especially due to not having a diagnosis for them, but they're very real feelings and they cause me to be unable to do things a lot of the time. various mental blocks and a new member of the gang... physical pai! hooray.

this... endless productivity we are forced and expected to do. it can take a toll on you. breaks are just as necessary and to say it's a thing that has to be re-learned is... sickening. hooray for living in a Corporate (clash) society, fellas.

one thing i can say is that i absolutely headcanon that cathal has adhd - though, maybe not the same type i do. i do not think he gets randomly hyper and wants to (and does) jump around everywhere and blurt things out randomly and impulsively. cathal here has the low energy, yknow.

i like that a lot of the content around him doesnt even describe him with the words "lazy" and "sleepy" instead.

every day is the same... even if his job is relatively simple, just watching over the camera feed - it's definitely boring... and having to do it every day is not rewarding. and being mostly alone and without consequence, he gives into wanting to do something else. he's got these huge screens and a room to himself, and he loves watching shows and cartoons... so he's gonna do that. it's more fun. it's stimulating. and especially with his dad being the one to give him his position, he knows that he's got nothing to really worry about there.

i also think it's a bit hard to be motivated knowing that... this war between the cogs and toons is just. endless. hell, again, he has to see his dad *everyday* be attacked by them. his body damaged after the fall - only to be fixed again. rinse and repeat. i would too, find it pointless. especially if you're like cathal, since i pointed out before that he is very kind and caring towards the other cogs. he's also thoughtful, noting that yknow... a lot of stairs to get to his room.

why do all that when you can chill... and feel good. do something that feels nice...

i don't have any names for this, but with how sleepy he usually is, that's definitely a thing to consider too. and just, from experience... being tired and/or sleepy it... dismotivates you even more. its so hard to start tasks even if you *want* to do them. and considering cathal mooost likely doesn't want to do his work on his own - then these tasks can be just. impossible to start.

like, i have struggled with this my entire life myself, just because of my adhd screwing with everything, but after getting covid and most definitely getting a form of chronic exhaustion from it.. things have been even harder. i pull myself through day and i barely have the energy to even start anything. sometimes i dont even do anything all day and... woops! still no mood or energy to do anything. i just work on random bursts of motivation and things that captivate me...

not sure how it relates to cathal, but, hey, if im personal here ill ramble about it too because WOW it has been biting me in the ass and i need to speak to Professionals About It

like... i dont think hes being "lazy" willingly, yknow? theres a reason behind it. it definitely is just... being sleepy, the comfort... the fun and stimulation doing something fun he's interested in (his shows) are just... stronger desires and way easier for him to get to. why struggle through something when it takes up all your energy, and then you feel no reward for it? yeah. exactly. even just "not feeling like it" is a reson. "not having energy" is a reason. hey, are these things to get better about if needed? certainly. i wish i could get help with this, it would help me in my life so so much. but should it be seen as ENTIRELY negative and as being a "hinder to society". hell nah. and i think thats swag. cathal is swag he can do this, good for him lmaooo. my brain is deteriorating i apologize.

there was... another thing i wanted to say, but i forgot. so i'll move on.

but just... yeah. i dont think cathal is just lazy. i dont believe in "laziness". he's got reasons for why he prefers naps and just... watching tv instead of doing his work. perhaps he does want to do these things, but gave up on trying. its not worth the effort, it does not feel good. its not stimulating enough to keep him going.

#long #ramble #cathalposting #i...may delete this later i dont know. i both wanna talk to ppl i know about this #but also Do Not Percieve me. I am Afraid Of What People Think #Stay Back Foul Beasts ! #alsoy eah i had other stuff to talk about...more on the negative side i guess but??? its. a bit difficult to #give and .. angstier things? negative thoughts? to a character who you see a lot of comfort in. they make you happy #they help you feel better about yourself. you want to see them happy. if theyre happy #youre happy. if theyre sad...well. you are sad. sadness is natural. its a real thing. it happens sometimes. its a part of life #and i have attached some of these things to cathal already. but a few things are hard for me to consider because of The Brain Worms. #i dont want to see him hurt either yknow. #anyways i hope you enjoyer my mental illness ramble. im not normal and you shouldve known that when you followed me #thank you for existing cathal ray toby braveswag #hey fun fact remember how i said i get tired of stuff myself easily well this whole thing made me tired. i was gonna #answer an ask but now im like. man. (melts into a puddle) #(doesnt take a break bc i need instant stimulation and makes things worse for myself) #do yall see why i like cathal so much now gamers? #ya. sorry this got personal. if any of you can handle reading this u deserve a reward. #and maybe i need to start talking about personal things this much. but whatever #this is my blog i can talk about anything and thats the COOL THING! #MWAHAHAHHAHAHA! #dies #ivegot a lot going on in my brain rn cant u tell

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Screaming again don't mind me, just I usually realise the tags are going to be trashfires but I went to bed before the inciting incident last night and oh boy are my blocked tags insufficient huh.

This should be taken in the context of I've had a long week, I'm literally ill, and I just want thoughts out my head so I can enjoy the streams tonight please thank you love you all <3

I'm sat here like on the one hand Sunny being upset about last night is COMPLETELY legit. Like I think I know where Philza was coming from - Tubbo and Slime both respawn when killed, which 'real' eggs don't - but many of the words he said while his usual teasing were out of line, especially when Tubbo wasn't there to defend himself. And like a kid isn't going to see that so fine its cool if I thought it was ever going to get resolved yeah no perfect sense here. And even with that logic in mind it's a fucking dick thing to say. There were only bad answers. It was a question designed to have only bad answers. The least bad answer was probably honestly Trump as not only is he dead all his parents are too, but that suuuucks.

On the other hand, I know where this started and what it started with is with ccPhilza's tone of voice and phrasing (because those are the same as qPhilza's in many of the instances), and I do not think it was ever appropriate to have this come up as a thing in the first place. I don't care about the IC-ness or whatever right now, I mean pure simple if this should ever have been a plot point in the first place. And the longer it goes on without anyone fucking telling Phil so he can fix it the more certain I am it was a fucking awful move that never should have started - and if Sunny didn't already think Phil hated her, maybe this would be more interesting! The whole thing with the Tubbo and Gegg.

Anyway point. QSMP is supposed to be about cultural exchange and communication over differences and language and stuff, but what's being done here is reinforcing genuinely harmful with real life consequences stereotypes about English Northerners - the sorts of which have things like people being put on blacklists by their own home insurance providers due to being 'difficult customers', and having the cops called on them for 'being aggressive' when they said fuck a bit and laughed too loud, and being failed in class for talking wrong, and I just... The one thing from last night is completely legit. That's entirely and perfectly legit and all that, but the fact is it's not in isolation and whether intentionally or not every time Sunny and Philza are in a room together no matter what I blacklist if I look in the tags for my primary PoV it becomes a fucktonne of classist microagressions.

And like ccPhilza may well be fine with it! And that's cool and all! (Though I'm honestly not convinced he's entirely aware ooc Sunny's afraid of him) But much like any of these things, it's not /only/ the cc who stands to be hurt by it.

Which is to say I think Sunny's admin is a good roleplayer but not so good at being an NPC and is - probably accidentally, and only in a minor way god knows the rest of the media joins in - contributing to genuine and actual harm with their choices here. Calling Philza aggressive or scary based on his accent, phrasing, and tone of voice (and like this is outside of last night - this is how it /started/ not where it is now) is in a similar if smaller vein to saying the French players are stuck up, entitled, prissy, flirtatious, etc for having French accents. Or the Mexicans are stupid for their accents. And when he's the only northerner and he genuinely isn't being aggressive when he's being accused of it it's... uncomfy. ESPECIALLY as it's not from another player, it's from a fucking admin('s character) who should be being held to a higher standard on shit like this as the admin's are part of the organisation team.

It'd be less bad if there were more regularly playing northerners, or if tubbo wasn't a southerner, or if she was afraid and people were yelling about her being afraid of other characters too, but it's /so/ noticably Philza.

And it's not intentional, there's very little chance it's intentional, but it's still why I have to put on a fake accent to call the DWP else I get blacklisted and treated significantly worse. One time I rang up, usual accent, after 40 minutes of being bounced around was told no. Rang back, spoke to someone else, put on my other accent, was treated significantly nicer and got told yes. And this shit happens regularly in my life. Northern is more natural to me but I can also do southern. And my sort of northern is considered more acceptable than ccPhil's!

I don't really want to talk about it, I just want to scream.

#discourse #qsmp crit #fandom neg #admin crit

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi Kait, I hope you're doing well this morning. I wanted to let you know that I've been reading your writings on Ao3 to practice my English reading skills (my native language is Spanish). I've found that I can understand about 70% of the words, which makes me really happy because I can see that I'm making progress. Your writing is absolutely delightful, Kait, and I think you're one of the best writers I've come across! Each sentence keeps me hooked until the very end, and I especially love the way you narrate the thoughts and feelings of the characters in every situation.

Never stop doing what makes you happy, honey! You're amazing! I'm sure many of us who visit your blog would agree with that. You make us happy too ♡.

You know, I think I came across one of your writings about two years ago, but at the time, I didn't have any intention of reading it in English (my English level was so low that I couldn't bring myself to read long texts). I was going to use a translator... Bad idea. Honestly, I had a hard time reading it all, even though I was reading it in Spanish. I couldn't enjoy it or fully understand it. But of course, it wasn't your fault at all. It was simply because I was using the translator, and everything was being translated so literally... I couldn't grasp some words or expressions.

I've come to realize that learning English is not about translating literally in your head, and I've been learning that. Reading your writing in its original language is ABSOLUTELY BETTER! Like I said before, it's beautiful what you write. Last night, I couldn't go to sleep without finishing it, hehe.

Take care of yourself, sweetie! Drink water and I hope you have a great time this weekend. Kisses! 😘.

What time is it? #kait validation hours ✨

Thank you for the kind words.

Learning another language can be incredibly difficult even with a lot of practice under the belt, and I commend anyone who works hard to be able to communicate and read another language. I struggled a lot during my years in high school with Spanish, and while I surely can't hold a conversation with anyone because I can never remember how to conjugate my verbs, I have so much respect for people who have learned how to balance more than one language.

I hear a lot of people discount themselves when they come into my inbox, apologizing profusely that they're sorry for any mistakes with their English because it's not their first language. But, darlings, you are learning a second language and you're doing it well every step of the way. Just because it takes you a moment to remember what the word is in English doesn't mean you're bad at English.

It just means you have to juggle all the languages you know in your head until the word clicks! It's impressive! You know how to phrase things in your native tongue! Your second language is a whole other battlefield. Slang and colloquial language change everything, too! A lot of information you learn in language classes goes out the window when you realize formal language is way different than what people do in real life!

I think the great thing about learning another language is getting to see a different perspective. Think about it, in our world today, it's kind of amazing we can go on the internet, learn another language, and communicate to somebody we never would have been able to 100 years ago. You and I can talk right now because we have technology and language to back us up!

I like to marvel at that fact sometimes because it's amazing realizing what good has come out of where we are. 

Thank you for enjoying my writing! I'm happy to hear you've come a long way in your language journey, and that some of my stories have touched you. I'll smile today knowing that somewhere in the world, a person read my stories and felt at home with them.

#not mm #mod kait #ask #anon #kait validation hours?

[dimplesandfierceeyes]

top 5 bad buddy writers? you’re one of mine 💗

Wow, you guys just went straight in with the easy ones, huh? Honestly, this is such a difficult question because there are so many amazing writers out there in the bb fandom and I haven't been able to read anywhere near as much fic as I'd like the last few months because I've had so many other things going on but there's definitely a few writers I know will always deliver no matter what.

snickerdoodlles - or @thecookiemonster77 - I love the way they're able to set a scene so effortless, no matter where its canon fic or an au, just a few lines is all they need to open up that world fully for you. To say I am extremely envious is an understatement haha! My favourite fic of theirs is probably dimples can always lie - I am always down for PatPran assassin domestic shenanigans

wujicore - or @pranpatsocool - I love their Pran POV, they're really able to inhabit his character and crack open his heart. Add that to the soft, poetic turns of phrase, their writing always makes me think of sitting beside a babbling stream. My favourite fic has got to be am I moth to your flame? - it is a heart-aching moment of high school Pran composing Just Friends? with Pat

Faillen - @faillen - Faillen, Faiilen, Faillen, what can I say? They know just how to envelope you in a story, how to bury you so deeply into a character's psyche you almost become them. My favourite fic of theirs is Your Voice in My Ear (Your Space in My Bed) - it's a spicy one but I love the way they bring in the difficulties both Pat and Pran have in a long-distance relationship, how even miles apart they try to account for each other's needs and of course showcase they're A+ communication skills (in more ways than one ;))

unsungyellowraincoat - or @isaksbestpillow - truly poetry as prose, no word is wasted and the imagery makes even the simplest moment into an artwork. My favourite fic is a tough one to choose but I think Keeps me warm wins out - the perfect missing scene for after the boys are outed.

illicitly - they have such a lyrical, pared back style, all short paragraphs that say so much and their focus on character is always incredibly compelling. My favourite fic of theirs is definitely you don't know (it's breaking my heart) - Pat's POV of the rooftop kiss, truly stunning

Ahhhh you have no idea how long it took me to come up with this list, I just kept wanting to add more and more, but I also know I've not read that many fics. Let me know some of your guys' favourites too so I can check them out if I've unknowingly been sleeping on them!

#my top 5 #asks #bad buddy #bad buddy fanfiction #also thank you for saying I was one of your faves!!

[captain-hen]

hi again! i loved 5x12 so much ❤ it means so much to me that 911 is willing to tackle difficult subjects like these and treat them with the respect that they deserve. i love that neither of them were "in the wrong" and i love how hopeful it was. i love that maddie missing six months didn't mean that she failed as a mother, and i really loved the lil ending scene with the three of them singing together. and i also loved that eli came back!! that was such a great callback :)

i hope you don't mind that i keep giving you updates btw!! this show just makes my heart so happy and i love talking about it ❣️ this is the first time in a really long time that i've watched a show where i've been this invested in the happiness of all the characters, and thanks to 911's signature style of long-form storytelling in the age of binge streaming, it's also the first time in a while that i've been this satisfied with the way these stories play out. i'm excited to finish this season and s6 so that i can watch live and experience the show weekly :)

--NewTo911Anon

5x12 is SUCH a good episode, it made me cry like a baby and i'm still not over it. i really love how it—and the rest of the episodes—didn't villainize maddie or chim even a little bit, it was such a painfully accurate representation of how mental illness can feel like its dragging you and everyone around you down, and how we can say and do things we normally would never do in the throes of it. maddie saying that people aren't themselves while they're hurting is honestly one of the best ways to summarize s5, imo. and i really love how their issues weren't magically wrapped up and they still had a long way to go in communication and working through what they'd been through in the past six months separately. JLH actually gave a couple of interviews with some really good insight into maddie's storyline, and what it personally meant to her as a mother herself, and these are interviews i actually recommend you check out!

i don't mind these updates at all, it's really nice to hear from someone experiencing the show for the first time 🥰 911 having weekly releases and 18-episode seasons is SUCH a breath of fresh air, most shows these days suck because the 10-episode model + entire seasons being dropped at the same time doesn't really give room for the story to breathe and grow, puts a pressure on fans to watch immediately and has frankly lowered the level of comprehension among fans because people don't know how to wait for a resolution to a storyline anymore, and call it bad writing if they have to use their brains and be patient for a while, instead of getting all the information all at once. the fact that these shows are always in danger of being canceled at any moment doesn't help.

there's still two more weeks before the next episode airs, so maybe you'll be able to catch up! 911 mondays are WILD lmao and it's so much fun to experience watching live with the entire fandom ❤

#neethu answers #anon

[trapton]

hows ur portrayal?? hows your portrayal???? do i even NEED to speak about my opinion of your portrayal. your will quite literally drives me insane in the best way possible. have i stated the fact that i was entirely indifferent about william afton before i stumbled upon you + your portrayal of him because its true. you singlehandedly made me so incredibly mentally ill about this man its not even funny. hes sosososo interesting i absolutely adore the way you interpret him i want to examine him under a microscope. i can tell youve put so much thought into him as a person past what most people in the community do and i just. i dont know how to explain it. ive said it before this blog right here is literally the reason i joined the tumblr rpc bc i was just . i dunno i was just in awe. every thread i have with ur will ( and all ur other muses ofc, ur will just drives me insane in a Very Specific Way that is difficult to replicate ) is sososo special to me. i specifically love our pair of fucked up guys i will actually never be over them.

tl;dr im picking up your william by the scruff of his neck and shaking him like a dog toy he is everything to me. i will forever be this fucked up little mans #1 fan i enjoy him so so much. thank you for making him the way that he is.

🔧 「   ASK MEME :   HOW’S MY PORTRAYAL?   」 / @nineliabilityrisk !

i have to restrain myself so i don't end up hoarding this ask, because i ask for this expecting critique &. ofc some compliments but i'm notoriously bad at taking them, &. like! i always just end up complimenting the sender to deflect. so i'll try to do better at that, but i have to just say that i adore you &. your original characters are rich &. unique &. your canons are so thought through &. interesting, &. i am not doing you justice with this explanation or these compliments but you've just been such a good friend &. a lovely partner in writing &. i always adore getting replies / messages / memes or anything else from you. (also including seeing your posts). &. your smut writing (&. in general) is masterful it's art it is LOVELY. for being young you're just so advanced in your writing. ANYWAY

first off i have to give you a formal apology for making you mentally ill about willy. it's a terrible &. speaking from experience i hardly needed to add to my list. though, it makes me blush that i could take a character you were indifferent about &. make you like them &. see them differently. there's a lot of ways to interpret will / fill in his blanks, &. i admit i may have (definitely have) some hot takes, aka him not building spring bon or his design or art hobbies, though i stand by him. like, honestly i had so much in my mind about him i needed to make a separate blog for the first time in years. he just took up all of my brain-cells. it just means so much to me to know you like how i see him, &. that you think he's interesting???? to the point where you're here bc you saw one of my posts / my blog? IT'S TOO MUCH FOR MY LITTLE MIND TO WRAP AROUND <3 &. i could not be more humbled that you think that of me, i really truly appreciate all of our threads so much &. your writing is just so lovely &. i fucking adore everything we've done together. also please if you wanna ask me anything about him hmu <3 i'll talk all day if you need ahah. (ik ik sometimes i forget tumblr IM's exist) but IUHYGTFRDEDFGHUJIK YOU'RE TOO GOOD / NICE TO ME. thank you thank you thank you.. <3

#nineliabilityrisk #𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞: ( 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟 ) / 𝑚𝑢𝑛 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 #₀₀₁ ᜵ 𝙾𝙾𝙲 ¸ answered

[leporellian]

Why I Chose Every Character That Went Into The Opera Playing Cards

so! if you are unaware, one of my Products(TM) that i sell are whole opera-themed card decks. they are probably one of my favorite projects that i've worked on (and you can get them on my etsy). i realized that i never did actually go into the way i chose opera characters for each playing card here, which is silly bc honestly figuring that one out was the most difficult part of the process. i decided instead of focusing on specific operas, i'd focus on the cartomancy meaning behind every playing card. i looked at each one, figured out who they reminded me of, and then went from there; ground rules being every character only got one card and no opera could have more than 3 card representations in the deck.

i should note that cartomancy meanings vary by source to source so mine might not be fully 'accurate' to everyone. i should also note that while i find it a fun idea, i don't actually have any supernatural beliefs regarding cartomancy (or everything else) and took it as a literary analysis thing more than anything.

without further ado: every card meaning and character on it.

also i spent like 2 hours on this post so. Ha ha

THE SPADES (regarding challenges and overcoming them)

MEPHISTOPHELES, THE ACE OF SPADES: The Ace of Spades, traditionally the first card in the deck, stands for 'death' and endings. It can also stand for all sorts of other bad things; spite, misfortune... but the Ace of Spades isn't necessarily a 'bad' card. It can mean endings of anything, deaths of anything both literal and metaphorical.

AZUCENA, THE TWO OF SPADES: The Two of Spades can stand for deceit, change (particularly regarding identities from what I can tell), and difficult decisions. It can also suggest uncertainty and a removal, as if this change in identity wasn't planned but rather forced by circumstance.

COUNT ALMAVIVA, THE THREE OF SPADES: Infidelity, particularly in marriages. Poor communications, opportunity running dry, troubled relationships; the Three of Spades has it all in one unfortunate package.

VIOLETTA, THE FOUR OF SPADES: The Four of Spades is traditionally associated with illness; sometimes even just the lingering worry of it. However, it carries the dual meaning of broken promises: Either you will be able to fulfill a promise, or someone you love will break one for you.

SIEGFRIED AND FAFNER, THE FIVE OF SPADES: The Five of Spades stands as something of a 'starter' problem, a challenge you will rise against for now. You might have greater challenges in the future ahead of you, but for now you will find success against this first difficulty. Hooray!.....?

TOSCA, THE SIX OF SPADES: Improvements, positive change, purpose, rebellious upswing. The Six of Spades is never the answer to a conflict, and there's often the implication that problems will go on. But in the moment there is this little bit of revolution, this little commitment to making life a bit better.

EUGENE ONEGIN AND LENSKY, THE SEVEN OF SPADES: The Seven of Spades stands for bad advice, and worse decisions, often ones made on impulsive whims. It may also refer to a difficult situation with no clear winners. Either way, it also stands for the grief and loss that will arise because of itself.

SPARAFUCILE AND MADDALENA, THE EIGHT OF SPADES: The Eight of Spades stands for deceit and danger, particularly coming from what was once a promising financial/personal opportunity. It can also refer to plans going awry, or crossroads at work forcing you to make an important decision. Caution is advised, in any case.

LEPORELLO, THE NINE OF SPADES: Bad luck, accidents, anxiety. The Nine of Spades is sometimes a card of indecision, and sometimes a card of helplessness in the face of danger. It can also mean that the threat of loss is looming over your life- the loss of somebody close to you.

DON GIOVANNI, THE TEN OF SPADES: The Ten of Spades is a warning. Bad news and evil- often implied to be something untamable and fundamentally irrational- is on its way, and the best you can do is duck out of its way before it gets to you. Something wicked this way comes...

L'ENFANT (from ravel's 'l'enfant et les sortileges'), THE JACK OF SPADES: The Jack of Spades is the sign of a troublesome youth, wild and unkempt, who will cause problems almost unwittingly. However, this card isn't necessarily a warning of evil like the Ten of Spades; the Jack of Spades is an annoyance but not actively really malicious.

THE COUNTESS (from tchaikovsky's 'the queen of spades'), THE... QUEEN OF SPADES: Besides the fun name coincidence, the Queen of Spades stands for a dark-haired woman, commonly interpreted as a widow. She will offer you advice but it's up to you how to utilize it or even if you should utilize it at all.

BARON SCARPIA, THE KING OF SPADES: The King of Spades stands for an accomplished older man, often a position of authority. He is smart and ambitious, and a force to be reckoned with; but he is selfish and it will be his selfishness and blind pursuit of his own desires that will do him in.

THE DIAMONDS (regarding money and financial matters)

ROSINA (barber of seville), THE ACE OF DIAMONDS: The Ace of Diamonds, most literally, stands for small gifts- a bracelet, or a ring, or (most commonly) a letter. However, more metaphorically, it stands for upgrades and new opportunity; new households, new relationships, and new social status.

DONNA ELVIRA, THE TWO OF DIAMONDS: The Two of Diamonds usually stands for disapproval of a relationship, whether personally or societally. Often these relationships are implied to be affairs- ones that could have disastrous consequences for all involved.

LUCIA ASHTON, THE THREE OF DIAMONDS: The Three of Diamonds is another warning card. In its broadest strokes it symbolizes trouble, but if you look closer it often stands for broken marriages and violence in the home between families. It is a card that is at once very still and very violent; the calm before a storm.

TOM RAKEWELL, THE FOUR OF DIAMONDS: The Four of Diamonds stands for unexpected money and inheritance, and a sudden coming into one's own. However, it can also stand for heeding the advice of those closest to you, whether positive... or negative.

PORGY AND BESS, THE FIVE OF DIAMONDS: Like the Six of Spades, the Five of Diamonds is seen as a smaller card in the grand scheme of things; problems will go on before and after it. But it stands for improvements, and solidarity; quiet new beginnings and newfound hope.

B.F. PINKERTON, THE SIX OF DIAMONDS: The Six of Diamonds stands for domestic trouble and infidelity, but unlike the Three of Spades it focuses particularly on problems in a second marriage or multiple conflicting promises that cannot all be fulfilled. There's an urge to take responsibility- but also a sense that the urge will be ignored.

RODOLFO AND MARCELLO, THE SEVEN OF DIAMONDS: (fun fact this was the last card i did in the whole deck.) The Seven of Diamonds stands for financial challenges, particularly when it comes to work. It can also indicate meeting someone new, although this interpretation is much rarer.

FAUST, THE EIGHT OF DIAMONDS: The Eight of Diamonds stands for things coming in time. You may not find financial opportunities or even romance now, but they will surprise you later in life; you just have to look for them and stop worrying about the alleged value of youth.

BILLY BUDD, THE NINE OF DIAMONDS: The Nine of Diamonds often stands for new business opportunity presenting themselves in the workplace; most commonly the opportunity to travel.

HANNA GLAWARI, THE TEN OF DIAMONDS: The Ten of Diamonds stands for financial prosperity to the point of excess, as well as good fortune with your relationships and the people you choose to surround yourself with. Success is here! Celebrate!

DESPINA, THE JACK OF DIAMONDS: The Jack of Diamonds represents a close friend with darker intentions. She may be the bearer of bad news, or she may just be a gossip. The Jack of Diamonds is unreliable and dishonest, and would absolutely sell you out in a heartbeat.

CARMEN, THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS: The Queen of Diamonds stands for an outgoing, flirtatious woman, one who isn't afraid to take life by the horns. Be her friend and she will be a great asset, be her enemy and you will always be annoyed with her. However, either way: Try to sever her from her carefree life, and there will be consequences.

KING FILIPPO, THE KING OF DIAMONDS: Like the King of Spades, the King of Diamonds is an accomplished older authoritative figure. He is often one of great influence over the people around him, although he may not realize it. Further information on the card tends to be contradictory, but it seems this man is more easily influenced than he initially appears and might not be trustworthy.

THE CLUBS (regarding chance and the wheels of fortune)

ORFEO AND EURIDICE (gluck), THE ACE OF CLUBS: The Ace of Clubs stands for a story that otherwise would end in tragedy, but- through compassion, or luck, or even the hand of God- has ended happily. Sudden changes of plans with positive connotations, sudden good fortune; very rarely is a sudden thing a good outcome in cartomancy but just this once it is.

AGRIPPINA, THE TWO OF CLUBS: The Two of Clubs stands for gossip and manipulation, as well as challenges in life brought about by them. The gossip in this case is entirely planned in order to influence specific outcomes. Be careful of those around you, and be even more careful of their ulterior motives.

LOHENGRIN AND ELSA, THE THREE OF CLUBS: The Three of Clubs stands for marriage, particularly marriages of wealth and power. While some allege the card also stands for successful marriages, there is a distinct layer of melancholy to it- perhaps the powerful are, in some way, always alone.

NICK SHADOW, THE FOUR OF CLUBS: The Four of Clubs stands for deceit and betrayal from those around you. You may find a friend or mentor that you trust greatly, but they will turn on you and manipulate you- and it's because you blindly accepted them to begin with. Take caution and beware of those with promises too sweet.

MIMI, THE FIVE OF CLUBS: The Five of Clubs indicates new friend groups, new support networks, and new places. It may be an indication to reach out more and see the world around you, but in this way it can serve as a warning: Do the things you want to do before your time runs out.

GIANNI SCHICCI, THE SIX OF CLUBS: The Six of Clubs indicates success in finance and relationships, primarily finance, but not one you will achieve yourself. Someone else- someone who you might know, or who might be a stranger- will financially assist you and find ways to help you get your matters sorted.

DIDO, THE SEVEN OF CLUBS: The Seven of Clubs stands two things at once. The first accomplishment in business, and a high societal rank. However, the second is trouble in relationships, and a deep sense of loneliness or isolation stemming from the first. These two go hand in hand- and in trying to please one you may lose your grip on the other.

LADY MACBETH, THE EIGHT OF CLUBS: The Eight of Clubs symbolizes difficulty, both personally and professionally, relating particularly to decay. Opportunities that seem tempting right now will crumble and turn on you. Be careful, and keep your ambition in check.

ESCAMILLO, THE NINE OF CLUBS: The Nine of Clubs is flashy and immediately draws your attention. You will find new opportunities, particularly presenting themselves in the form of a new admirer or romantic partner. However, at the same time, it is a warning against stubbornness, and should strike a bit of fear into the hearts of the bullish.

MANON LESCAUT, THE TEN OF CLUBS: The Ten of Clubs stands for unexpected- and joyful- travel, although it may come at the expense of other things. It can also represent newfound opportunity and a sense of love for the world at large.

BRUNHILDE, THE JACK OF CLUBS: The Jack of Clubs represents a strong-willed, trustworthy friend who will go to bat for you regardless of circumstance. She may be dramatic and fiery, but this is to her benefit, and to yours- you may always count on her in the face of struggle.

FRICKA, THE QUEEN OF CLUBS: The Queen of Clubs represents a confident women, unafraid to speak her mind yet burdened by her own power, in an authoritative position. She may infuriate some, and impede the plans of others, but in the end she has her reasons for her behavior and does bring up some good points.

WOTAN, THE KING OF CLUBS: The King of Clubs represents a strong older man. He may be affectionate and well-meaning in some readings, and deeply corrupt and contemptuous in others- perhaps these may both be true. He may seek money or a particular resource from you, and he may have ulterior motives to get it. What you think of him, ultimately, is up to you.

THE HEARTS (regarding love and relationships)

OCTAVIAN AND SOPHIE, THE ACE OF HEARTS (yes rosenkav is my least favorite but i had to put it in there somewhere i guesss): The Ace Of Hearts represents newness, and naïveté, and wet-behind-the-ears. It stands for puppy love and young couples, as well as new opportunity and budding romance.

FIGARO AND SUSANNA, THE TWO OF HEARTS: The Two of Hearts represents balance, harmonious relationships, or even just evenly-matched partnerships of any kind. Both parties are respectful and share balanced power, and happiness in the future is guaranteed as a result. The card may also suggest a knack for romantic fortune.

DON JOSE, THE THREE OF HEARTS: The Three of Hearts stands for romantic jealousy and possessiveness of others. It suggests foolishness, and misplaced priorities; it is often associated with throwing one's life away in the pursuit of supposed love, and for believing you have more control over others than you really do. The Three of Hearts serves as a warning: Be cautious in your relationships.

LEONORE/FIDELIO, THE FOUR OF HEARTS: The Four of Hearts stands for change and revolution on the horizon, often in the pursuit of passion or love. It may also mean peace prevailing, and love conquering all; in any case the Four of Hearts may be intimidating but it is ultimately a boon and a sign of good things to come.

OTELLO, THE FIVE OF HEARTS: The Five Of Hearts stands for envy. Either you may be envious of others, or others with dark motives may be envious of you. Either way, it is best to be cautious, and not let the green-eyed monster get the best of you.

PAPAGENO AND PAPAGENA, THE SIX OF HEARTS: The six of hearts stands for many things- things that are, in some way, united. It stands for keeping hope in darker times, and finding love in unexpected places- or simply being surprised by the person you end up with. It may also suggest something childlike or a moment of harmony.

SANTUZZA, THE SEVEN OF HEARTS: The Seven of Hearts, similarly to the Four of Spades, represents broken promises, although without the promise of illness. It often particularly represents a partner or friend, or other close figure, who will let you down in a moment of crisis.

HANSEL AND GRETEL, THE EIGHT OF HEARTS: The Eight of Hearts stands for visitors and invitations; comings and going. You may be invited by someone, or someone may visit you; in either case, however, be wary of their intentions because both positive and negative invitations are prophesied by this card.

NEMORINO AND ADINA, THE NINE OF HEARTS: The Nine of Hearts is somewhat unique in that its meaning is nearly universal. Known as the Wish Card, it is said it makes the wildest dreams come true, often synonymous with a new job, or partner, or child, or house. Think on your hopes with this card and they may come true.

CENDRILLON, THE TEN OF HEARTS: The Ten of Hearts represents good fortune on its way to the needy, often in the form of a large gathering or public social event. This event can be a wedding, or convention, but most often it is said to be a large party. You may meet important people there.

CHERUBINO, THE JACK OF HEARTS: The Jack of Hearts represents a young ally, often associated with young love. They may admire you the way schoolboys admire young teachers, or they may simply be a childish youth. They are your friend, although they are young and innocent and may not be the most helpful.

ALICE FORD, THE QUEEN OF HEARTS: The Queen of Hearts represents a kind woman, who will help you in your journeys and plans. She is usually a maternal figure, although she is not usually your literal mother, and she will be more clever than she initially appears to be.

HANS SACHS, THE KING OF HEARTS: Like the maternal figure of the Queen of Hearts, the King of Hearts is a paternal figure. He is a kind if somewhat more distant man. He will dispense good advice, and will help you in your romantic pursuits; although he is just as often associated with literature and the fine arts.

RIGOLETTO, THE RED JOKER, and CANIO, THE BLACK JOKER: Jokers are unique in the they are far younger than the rest of the deck, having been invented during the American Civil War for specific trump card-related games. They are not traditionally included in cartomancy for this reason, although they may be used as something similar to the Fool in the Tarot Major Arcana. They are often discarded immediately, and not given much further thought; while both Joker cards were obvious character choices I wanted to also highlight the sense of being discarded and unwanted that is pivotal to the card.

Thats all of them. If you're still reading this I'm so sorry.

#opera tag #opera playing cards #rambles

[kenthenugget]

I Don't Get Tangents (Art Rant)

During my formative years as an artist back 2017 up to early 2020, I can remember watching a ton of art related content ranging from DeviantArt cringe video's to tutorials on how to draw manga to general art community topics like tracing and so on. But up until mid 2021, I had never heard of tangents. And even now, I still dont fully get it.

If you don't know, a tangent is pretty much when lines intersect in a visually non pleasing way. There's a great blog that goes into this which I'll link here:https://schweizercomics.tumblr.com/post/11966164633/the-schweizer-guide-to-spotting-tangents

Let me be clear by saying that I do know what tangents are and what they mean. I'm not an idiot. And its not like I don't understand why they're bad but at the same time I don't get it, if you know what I mean. I've seen examples of tangents where it does a good job at illustrating why its bad but there are some where I just cant see it. Going to the post I linked, I had a difficult time discerning what the tangents were for examples 2 through 5 until someone pointed them out. Even then, I still didn't find anything wrong with them despite the tangents. And if I'm being honest (and I mean no shade at the creator of the post), it does feel nitpicky. Because you wouldn't know it was a tangent unless someone pointed it out.

I guess in general, tangents are not to big of a deal, which is probably why I never heard of them until recently. It is something that can be easily avoidable, especially if you're not that skilled of an artist. But for someone like me who is a perfectionist, tangents act as some sort of curse. Especially when it comes to digital art.

I honestly feel its a lot harder for tangents to form in traditional works than it is for digital ones. When you're creating a complex illustration on paper, the backgrounds, characters, and other objects are on the same surface. As opposed to digital where you can separate those things via layers, and this is where tangents often tend to form for me. Since everything is separated, I'll tend to work on those elements separately when inking. And its not until then where I turn on the character or background layer, I see tangents forming. And only when its inked do I notice these and not when I'm sketching them. Maybe that has to do with the pencil brush not being as thick and bold? Im not sure. This has happened to me constantly, ever since I began separating my backgrounds from the layers my characters are on. Tangents just form and there's nothing I can really do about it, unless I revert to drawing everything on the same layer. And its a problem when it comes to comic pages as well. Particularly with speech bubbles and sound effects, which is a whole other can of worms entirely.

Now this doesn't mean I hate everything I've drawn in the past year or two, but noticing these tangents really bothers me. That these images are immediately deemed bad because of one or two tangents caused by separation of elements on layers. And like I said, all of this feels very nitpicky, as in you wouldn't notice it unless you were actively looking for it. It honestly feels like tangents are a fuel for perfectionism, an unhealthy amount of it at that. Its partially why I try not to let it bother me and do my best to avoid it.

No one is perfect, and that's okay. I don't think something as small and hyper specific as a tangent should bring an illustration down. Hell, I'm pretty sure art created by your favorite artists have one or two tangents in them that down make them bad because of it. Im not really sure how to end this but I don't try to be perfect as an artist because no art is perfect. And if it was, is it really art anymore?

#artists on tumblr #art rant

[haydenckbrown]

I wasn’t a huge fan of the most recent season of Strangers Things. Mainly because of the weird decisions made with Steve, Nancy and Jonathan.

I thought we were done with this love triangle. Like it’s done. Bringing it back just felt forced and just really icky. Very regressive for all parties involved.

1) Nancy and Jonathan literally learned how to communicate last season. Why are they back to square one all of the sudden? They both grew together in season 3 and now we have Nancy pining after Steve (for some reason) and we have Jonathan lying about his applications to college. It just feels so forced. My problem isn’t even that I want them to stay together, it’s just that the conflict was stupid. I can see these two having a mutual break-up as Jonathan as always supported Nancy’s independence and as he said would never want to keep her from her goals. But it’s not set up like that at all. It’s just Jonathan lying and uncharacteristically being a shitty boyfriend. This man’s arc needs to be that he can have a life outside of his family and that he needs to take care of himself. It’s his undying devotion to his family that’s the core of most his conflicts in the show. The whole conflict between these two this season should’ve just been that Jonathan couldn’t afford to go to the college Nancy wants to go to and Nancy saying she’ll go with Jonathan despite really wanting to get into that school. Just have them be upfront with each other and have to make a difficult decision that’ll affect both their futures and relationship.

2) Steve. This poor poor man. He has grown so so so much but he still defines himself by whether or not he can get a girlfriend. We have seen this man try and get a partner after Nancy and none of it worked out, which is fine on its own and kinda is treated as a gag but when it’s just to push Nancy and Steve back together, it just kinda feels gross. Steve’s arc should be that he doesn’t need someone to be romantically involved with rn. He needs to learn that his platonic bonds have just helped him grow far beyond what a romantic relationship could give him. He’s grown BECAUSE he wasn’t with Nancy. And she’s grown separate from him as well. With how the show portrays their interactions this season it almost feels as though Nancy’s a prize for Steve’s growth which just doesn’t feel right at all, especially when Nancy’s so independent and really come into her own. Which is the other thing, Steve’s dream just shows that he still doesn’t understand Nancy. Nancy doesn’t want to be her mom. She doesn’t want the life Steve dreams of every night. She loves to work and have her own thing. Jonathan as a partner has always supported this. With this said, I’m not saying Steve is forcing Nancy into this or that his dream is necessarily bad, all it does is show that he and Nancy want different things out of life.

I believe this love triangle persisting is quite honestly a detriment to the show. It just comes across as though they’re twisting the characters for fan service.

#anti stancy #jancy #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #stranger things #stranger things season four

[astrologista]

Been having some serious thinky thoughts about fiction writing in today’s environment, particularly when it comes to the depiction of abuse in particular. I’m mainly speaking on psychological or emotional abuse, not physical. I’ve heard arguments that when you are writing an abusive character, then the author is “romanticizing abuse”. Okay, sometimes, this can be true in certain communities, no doubt. And I don’t necessarily think that writing a piece that romanticizes abuse is a good thing. But, we have to be able to depict abusive characters in fiction. The depiction of any kind of abusive characters is a very controversial topic especially when it comes to media that is targeted towards children. But for children going through abuse, sometimes that depiction is literally the only way that they can recognize that they are being abused in real life. There are certain characters that made me question things that I was being told and taught in real life because the story made it clear that these abusive characters were completely hypocritical and had other flaws. In real life, it’s very easy for abusers to appear “perfect” and can do no wrong, especially in the religious community. They present a very carefully polished version of themselves that makes you honestly believe that you are in the wrong and they are always right, which is a very difficult façade to break. The power of fiction is that these abusive characters actually face karma (unlike real life) and have to deal with the consequences of their actions. You see who they are when they’re behind closed doors, and you also see the nuances that even so-called “good” people can be capable of bad things. That’s not something that you can easily understand as a kid unless it’s put into a very literal story where you can understand what the motives and stakes are and who is doing what. (Perhaps this is especially true for autistic kids, but I’m only speaking from my personal experience). On top of that, I do want to also touch upon the idea of cutting abusive people out of your life. Sometimes it’s not always possible to completely cut abusive people out of your life, and I feel like this is another unrealistic expectation that modern fanworks will depict. In no way should an adult (or kid) put up with abuse or just weather it, that’s not what I’m suggesting. I’m pointing out that there is nuance in the relationship, things happen by degrees, and it’s not always going to be a clean break from a person who has lied to or manipulated you. To reiterate, the rules are different when it comes to physical abuse in which you need to cut that person out and leave immediately. With psychological and emotional abuse, there’s an element of that in like, every relationship. Also, we need to acknowledge that we ourselves are capable of it, too, it’s not just “them”. It’s often depicted as “not as bad” as physical abuse which is a mischaracterization, but I’m saying it needs to be taken seriously and yes, we definitely need more depictions of its various forms in fiction, not less. It’s a very difficult thing to understand and we can only improve upon things by understanding it more. And I do feel like people miss the idea that yes, you can cut the person out of your life, but everyone that we ever meet is going to have an effect on us, so elements of that person are going to end up going with you. It’s never a clean break in the way that we often want it to be and I just wish more people went there and depicted that in-between space of knowing that someone is bad for you but having to deal with caring for them and about them, having them in your thoughts, needing to talk to them for certain reasons. It’s not a situation that should be romanticized, and the goal should always be to get the abuse to come to an end. But it needs to be depicted if only to get that depiction out there to someone who needs to see it. (Also, hey, it’s fiction and I like playing around with these interesting motherfuckers sometimes. Sue me.)

#big fucking paragraph #and yes i am writing about this #sometimes its by exploring the depths of something bad that we make it less scary #the easier to understand it is the less scary it becomes #once i started to understand christianity and why people cling to it so strongly #it helped me be less scared of certain religious people in my life #i realized that they were struggling and were comforted by these ideas #even if i didnt understand it at all #and i do feel like by understanding them #i can understand why they reacted so strongly to me bringing up contrary ideas to their beliefs #its still very shitty of them to react in that way to a child but #i get that some of them are just kind of anti intellectual and pathetic and afraid of things they might not understand