#my dog art is very trans u just wouldn’t get it

[twinkskeletons]

okay first off, love you <333 and secondly, it’s gonna. well i can’t promise it’s gonna get better tomorrow or next week but it might, you never know!!! that’s the thing about us (rock bottom sue eye cide craving 20-somethings), things can’t really get much worse anyway so! the only way is up! (<- me forcing myself into optimism so i don’t kms)

what i can promise is that your life isn’t meaningless, waking up isn’t meaningless, getting up isn’t meaningless. hell, staying in bed isn’t meaningless. not in the context of your life, and the things happening around you. and if you think about the context of the universe then all of it is meaningless anyway so might as well reduce it down until you find meaning! otherwise what would be the point of art and literature and music and nature? it’s not gonna matter in the end, but it matters NOW. and so do you. bc how else are you gonna experience all that?

“inherent worth to your life” arguments never worked on me, honestly, and neither did “but the ppl whose lives you make better :(“ ones (they might for you!!!) bc literally they don’t exist really, but what did work on me is realising that kms would mean i wouldn’t get to look at stuff anymore. not read nor write nor listen to music nor rain nor poetry nor watch films and sunrises and birds nesting and the way the sky darkens and the moon. the moon! that big ass rock! illuminated by another’s light and yet the most beautiful thing to lift your eye to! im a bit of a romantic so you know. that worked on me. has been working for like, half a decade now. so you reallllllllllllly gotta find the argument that works on you.

cause there’s stuff that’s important to you, right? reduce it down to that, if you have to, for now, even if it’s one thing. love that one thing with everything you have. it’s gonna get easier to breathe. so breathe. breathe when it’s easy, and breathe extra hard when it’s hard. i believe in you!!!!!!!! “meaning” is so fucking vague anyway. who decides that shit!!! who cares!!! the most important part is that inside you there’s a beating heart whose pumping is testament to the love you feel for whatever it is. there’s meaning in that, i can definitely promise that.

this got. extraordinarily long. so im sorry for giving you the choice to read all that cause really, you don’t have to. but i hope it helps, like, just a little, to recategorize and breaaatheeeeeee. xo

waugh this is so nice thank u :’) i think my biggest problem is that im just. so alone and that will never change and can really only get worse when my entire family disowns me for being trans. only time i talk to people im not related to is when im threatening suicide on tumblr lolll and i kind of dont know how to interact with people outside of that anymore.. not sure i ever did actually my experience with the three friends i made in high school was sitting and listening to them talk to each other and never saying anything myself which. doesn’t really translate to online very well. ur right though there are at least two things i care abt my dogs and my art so i guess i just need 2 really focus on those 👍 keep making merch and planning that potential artist alley table

#really hard to actually pick up my pencil most of the time though -_- #answered #and ofc there’s the jealousy how could we forget the jealousy #soo sucks anytime i see someone draw better than me or get more attention it makes me miserable it’s so cringe + lame

[ghostxraven]

hi hello whats up im thinkin abt ur kjs again bc i love them and uhhhh you got any spare funpoison thoughts?

hiiii jordan!!

i always appreciate getting to talk abt them :’} (and u thinking abt my killjoys........🥺 ily)

so uhh i think commitment bands are like. a combo of knotted thread and beadwork? and there are different designs but usually they involve using your colors and sometimes the colors of the person you’re making it for....anyways the bracelet poison made for ghoul is very carefully made but not particularly pretty — there are flaws in the knotwork and mistakes in the pattern; poison was really worried that ghoul wasn’t going to like it but naturally ghoul didn’t care about that (like....both of them cried when they got engaged of course he wasn’t going to care)

uh so i mentioned before that ghoul likes to cook....i think if poison’s really stressed or he’s going on a run w/out them he’ll make whatever comfort foods he can remember the recipes for which mostly includes stuff he grew up with, aka things his grandma taught him......so a mix of more western foods and things she learned how to make from her parents, like nikuman (pork buns) and japanese cheesecake but also this one homemade brownie recipe she used to make for his birthday. it’s part of his love language n i just think. sharing food.......love. 💟

when one or the other is having a bad pain day w their scars (tho it’s usually ghoul, the scar on his face has a tendency to ache especially with all the grit in the desert) they’ll just kinda curl together if it’s both of them just to have something to hold on to....offer comfort....if it’s one of them, the other will bring them cool rags n help them w putting cream on the places it hurts. ghoul in particular sometimes won’t want to eat because of it n poison’ll make soft neutral foods that aren’t dog kibble so he’ll actually get some food in him. they aren’t necessarily a stellar cook but they can make like. macaroni or mashed potatoes

before they got together poison used to make these sad shmoopy mixtapes with cassettes they wheedled out of dr. d’s and once they actually started dating ghoul found the shoebox with like. fifteen to twenty tapes in it and was like :)c what’s this. poison was (very) embarrassed but ghoul thinks it’s cute and wouldn’t let them get rid of them. (ghoul thinks everything they do is cute. kobra tells him that’s gross.)

ghoul likes stories, poison likes art — they’ve done little comics together, just for fun; the girl ended up with some copies, charlie ended up with others, and some of them went to like, gravel gertie’s or motorbaby caravans for some of the younger ‘joys who don’t have much in the way of personal belongings

poison insists on keeping ghoul’s bike kept up because he knows how much ghoul cares about it, even if he says it’s not important. ghoul let them paint it for him, once, and poison fussed over the design for way too long because he wanted it to be perfect, even though in the end they ended up doing it together, just like they do when the trans am needs a touch-up coat of paint

and ik i’ve mentioned that poison likes to be in ghoul’s lap, but it really is all the time. if they aren’t a) working on separate projects in the booth, or b) having 2 pay attention to something important (i.e. instructions from dr. d or someone similar regarding a raid or supply run, etc) then poison is almost always draped across ghoul’s lap: on the couch, in the backseat of the trans am, hanging out at a party. it doesn’t matter if there’s room for them to sit right next to him (*john mulaney voice* pointing this out confuses and upsets him) it’s common to walk into a room and see ghoul working on something with poison sitting backwards on the same chair, chin on his shoulder, reading a zine or smth over his back.

:’) i love they. i hope these r sufficient ik i tend to ramble ❤️

(ty jordan!!)

#pi's personal #funpoison #ttlotfk #killjoys california #danger days #hcs #query on top #treasured mutuals #jordan tag ⚠️ #uhhhhhhh.........Love. *wailing* #for bl: #food #medical #?

[yourneighbourpotato]

An essay and rant on TLOU II

How about naughty dog takes another year or 2 or 3 and does the same thing that sonic movie did and remakes the game and we all agree that part 2 was an unofficial fever dream. And skip to part 3 where everyone gets better development and better not dry deaths or no deaths 💞 and every diverse character isn't there just to be there 💖💖💖 but they are there as people with polished personalities and growth 💞 because as much I'd like to scream gay, lesbian, trans rights I can't.

Although the story needs some or maybe a lot of polishing. The overall ideas aren't that bad but the execution. That's where ND kind of fucked up. Graphics and gameplay may have improved but the game is so slow paced that it can get quite annoying. Graphics and gameplay sadly don't outweigh the minuses of the story.

Now let's get into some spoilers. So yeah spoiler warning.

First of all let's start with Abby. Why? Just why? What's the point of forcing everyone to play as her after she killed Joel who helped her? Also how the fuck did the least trustful character who outsmarted other survivors in 1st game just forgot all survival tactics and experience he had??? Why did Ellie just decided not to use a gun on Abbys group? Or why didn't she think of some plan to distract or ambush them??? Why were we made to chase after Abby the whole game only to see Ellie refuse to kill her? Why did we have to jump around the characters and story so much? Why was the story told in that order??? And etc.

Now. I don't mind ND killing a character but they did it way too early and way too shitty, I wish his death was more meaningful or at least they made a nice build up to that significant moment. Tbh even getting Joel seriously hurt (could've been to the point where he can't live his life like before, can't move legs, looses an arm(so he can't play guitar), can't use his body at all, etc.) that would've been enough to make everyone angry and wanting for revenge maybe even more?.. Or if they(Abbys group) wanted to get revenge on Joel so bad they could've just fucked Ellie up(make him watch her getting tortured/killed maybe) to cause even more pain to Joel who now sees Ellie as a daughter. Abbys part could've been way shorter or at the very least once again done in completely different manner. Because almost no one gave a single shit about Abby and her story and her part of the game. The game could've deceived us into thinking that Abby is a nice pal and she becomes part of Jackson and then she strikes once she gets to know Joel's weak points. Fuck it destroy Jackson like Joel destroyed the fireflies facility. Make it epic. Idk.

Or. Give players more freedom in making choices of what they want to do.? Just a thought.

I don't mind developers that try to be brave and try out new things but if you do it do it thoughtfully with passion that shines through the screen even in the darkest moments.

Now let's move on to the things I actually liked. Obviously I liked graphics they were decent and the environments looked great, not to mention how much fun you can have with photo mode. Music as always was beautiful, loved the guitar in this one too. Gameplay, well it wasn't the hugest leap forward with it because there were stuff that were just chores to lengthen the gameplay in the most boring way possible, such as get this cart to this place so you can climb up or get this wire to start electricity so u can open the gate and etc.(basically the same shit like in the last game or tbh almost any of their games, yes I'm talking to you uncharted but everything else with gameplay such as exploring was more or less fun) Killing enemies was fun, not so much fun killing dogs but you gotta do what you gotta do. Killing Abby at any given opportunity was also quite the attraction. Almost every flashback with Joel and Ellie was enjoyable and brought some tingly emotions in me and also were fun to play and experience. Ellies and Dinas relationship was for more or less okay for me and the 2 of them had some nice moments together (which. Could've been better but oh well, let's not deny that TAAAAAAKEEE E ONNNNN MEEEEEE TAKE ON MEEEE was epic) Also I like how the NPCs that you're with are always doing something even when you are standing in one place(and they also help you out with taking out enemies). I liked that we got some more details about the world of TLOU but it could've been done better. And that's probably about it.

Edit: no that's not about it, the snowball fight was lit. Playing the guitar is enjoyable(guitar hero has nothing on this part). And petting dogs is a plus as well.

Tbh I think ND will have a hard time gaining back the trust from their fans and their ex-fans. It's either they completely remake the story of part 2 or they might as well release some sort of game where we get to play as Joel in that skipped 20 year period. AND IT BETTER BE POLISHED AS FUCK. Wouldn't mind if it went little below the level of 1st game but not below the left behind dlc.

Thank your for listening to my Ted talk anyone wanting to talk and rant. Feel free to do so, share your experience. Video games are art and since art is subjective all opinions are valid. Just because opinions are different doesn't mean one's thoughts are superior to others and there's definitely no need to feel personally attacked by someone else's opinion.

#Tlou #tlou part ii #tlou2 #tlou part 2 #tlou ellie #tlou2 spoilers #tlou #tlou2 leaks #the last of us part two #the last of us part 2 #the last of us #Naughty dog #tlou ii

[lavenderlight]

1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 29, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 39, 40 >:)

Ahdgkhh okay here we go!!!

1: Which TES games have you played?

All 5 main series games, ESO, and Blades!

2: Favorite TES game?

Oblivion........ like the other games have traits I like more, but also cons. Like... if I had to pick a game to just play with only the Unofficial Patch, it’d be that one.

3: When and how you got into TES? I was at a game store with my brother and we saw Oblivion with all these award “amazing game” stickers on it on clearance. So picked it up. I wasn’t impressed right away (remember picking dark elf tho) so put it down. My bro played it and said “omg you have to get out of the tutorial dungeon that sucks but the rest of the game is so good!” So I made a bosmer and did and there rest is history. TES has been a special interest of mine and a big comfort series for a decade now!  4: Favorite race Bosmer! Dunmer are a close second though. Thanks Morrowind. 5: Favorite province Valenwood........... love it............ Cyrodiil too because I’m basic. 6: Favorite character Ahdjgh hard to pick because there are so many! Off the top of my head, Dagoth Ur/Voryn Dagoth, Indoril Nerevar (what a shock, I know), Serana Volkihar, Glarthir, The Adoring Fan (don’t @ me), The Jemane Brothers, Marcurio, really all the characters from ESO’s main quest and the ending side quests who help you 😭😭. 7. Favorite faction

Thieves’ Guild, minus Skyrim’s. Skyrim’s Thieves’ Guild was awful eww.

8: Which province you would like to live in

If the lore and history and stuff weren’t a thing, Summerset because it’s aesthetic and has nice beaches. Realistically, probs Cyrodiil because I’m basic and I like how it’s a melting pot of various races and cultures!

As much as I love Valenwood, wouldn’t be able to handle the Green Pact

9: Which deity/deities would you worship?

Dibella - because I like how she’s the divine for the arts, and actual true love and beauty in the world (feel like she’s the divine most likely to say gay rights and trans rights). That vibes with me.

Makes me sad that both in the games and in the fandom, she’s reduced to “ha ha slutty sex goddess”. 

10: Favorite Divine

Dibella because see above.

11: Favorite Daedric Prince

Oh boy... hajdg I love Daedra (except Molag Bal - eww)!!! So it’s hard to pick. Just rapid fire listing some favs: Sheogorath, Meridia, Azura, Barbas (does he count?), Hircine... 

12: Favorite enemy

Dagoth Ur

13: Favorite dungeon

Hmmm, I feel like I’m forgetting some, but I enjoyed Nocturnal’s trial dungeon in Skyrim because I like sneaking and it was all based on that.

14. You have awakened and you are a Cliff Racer. What do you do?

Hunt and kill anyone who dares to step outside Seyda Neen lol

15: What would you do if you contracted vampirism?

C u r e

16: What would you do if you contracted lycanthropy?

C u r e

17: Are there any characters you have crushes on?

Not rly because I’m ace.

 If so, who?

18: Favorite Great House

The Sixth House. The Tribe Unmourned. The-

Honestly all of them are whack and have... issues. When I played Morrowind, I didn’t join any of them lol. Telvanni is at least entertaining and very out there which makes them cool. So I guess them?

19: Favorite TES music

Ahaha... I sold my soul to Jeremy Soule... I have so so many... :’)

“The Road Most Travelled”, “Peaceful Waters”, “Stilt Sunrise”,  “Auri-El’s Ascension”, “Sunrise of Flutes”, “Harvest Dawn”, “All’s Well” “The Streets of Whiterun”, “Secunda” (this is one of my all time favourite video game songs!), “Sovngarde”, “One They Fear”

Then from ESO which has other composers too: “Northpoint Nocturne”, “Moth, Butterfly, and Torchbug”, and “Grazelands Dawn” (mostly because it’s a remix of “The Road Most Travelled” 🥺)

Oh, and this song from the Morrowind dlc because the remaster of “Nerevar Rising” from 2:54 onward. (which how could I forget “Nerevar Rising”? Ugh it gives me feels! The Oblivion and Skyrim main themes are very near and dear to me too)

Also really enjoyed this song from Clockwork City - captures the melancholy vibe and I like the clock noises in it.

20: In your opinion, what is the scariest thing in TES?

I can’t stand spiders so anytime anything having to do with them shows up... I play with mods that remove them and in ESO,  I have a list of dungeons and places to avoid. If I have to do one, I make someone go with me and kill them for me lol.

The Lighthouse Quest in Skyrim was also mega spooky. As for lore, soul trapping and the Soul Cairn really freaks me out! I can’t bring myself to use soul trapping because it bothers me :( I headcanon that when a soul gem runs out of charge, the soul is freed because it’s the only way I can sleep at nigh leave me alone lol 21: Favorite main quest Morrowind, hands down. I will infodump and discuss that game’s plot forever. 22: Favorite side quest

I really like the Daedric Shrine quests, they’re always fun. Also love the silly little short quests like in Morrowind when you have to help the guy get his pants back, or in ESO where you gotta find the lost dog in Valenwood and pet it.

Oblivion has loads of side quests I loved... the missing dunmer painter, Hackdirt, that quest with the ladies who are killing men, the Floating Bowl quest... the mystery at Chorrol Castle....

23: Most frustrating experience in a TES game

I get mad any time the sneaking mechanics in ESO don’t work like the main games. Because I always play an archer-thief lol.

That one fabricant machine puzzle in Tribunal.... oh man........ I had to look it up.

And also the final boss for Clockwork City was annoying. Don’t go to the Clockwork City!

24: Funniest experience in a TES game

Other than moments intended to be funny, I sometimes laugh whenever I miss a jump and end up dying from fall damage. It’s so ridiculous.

Dagoth Ur’s “What are you doing?!” when you first attack the Heart always gets a chuckle out of me too. He sounds so... upset and disappointed in you? Lol

25: Most badass moment in a TES game

The ending to ESO’s main quest was a rly big power fantasy moment for me.

Also more mundane, but I felt really cool and powerful when I got to the point in Morrowind where I could one shot kill cliff racers lol

26: Saddest experience in a TES game

The ESO side quest, “The Soul-Meld Mage” in Coldharbour. After that one, I had to step away for a bit.... man. It hurt my heart and I still feel so bad. That was a case in the game where I really felt impacted by how cruel and awful Molag Bal is. Like I *knew* but that quest played with my emotions and made it personal.

27: Favorite area/region

Valenwood from ESO. I spend all my time there, and sometimes go to Summerset or Vvardenfell lol.

28: Least favorite character

Vivec.

Also don’t like Maven-Black Briar. :I

29: In-game food item you want to eat the most

Sweetroll! 

Also this one recipe for a beef dish I found in Valenwood sounded good.  Maybe also the Sunrise Souffle mentioned in Skyrim?

30: If you could try skooma, would you?

No. Don’t do drugs, kids.

31: If you had the skills and resources to do a perfect cosplay of any TES character who would it be?

Probs Serana

32: Have you read any of the novels?

No, but I’ve been thinking about it!

33: Favorite class to play

Thief, or a thief-similar class like agent or rogue.

34: Which type of magic would you most like using?

Alteration seems the most useful for everyday life lol. But illusion would be fun.

35: Favorite weapon

I use bows all the time!

36: Favorite spell

Levitate from Morrowind - it’s so much fun to use!

37: Favorite artifact

Nerevar’s Moon-And-Star Ring. It’s cute lol and I like the lore behind it!

Also enjoy the Wabbajack because of how silly it is, and Dibella’s Brush of Truepaint.

38: You have awakened to find you’re in Tamriel. How do you react?

Because yeah I love TES but also the world of it is scary with gods and monsters constantly trying to kill you lol

39: Thoughts on ESO so far

I really enjoy the world and writing! But I’m still cranky over some moments where it’s an MMO and not a normal TES game :I

I also hate that we can’t have NPC companions.  You really gonna give me a clockwork nix-hound named Snuffler and not let me travel with him? For shame.

40: Character you’d most like to hang out with

Nerevar, because I’m very awkward and shy and bad at peopleing and I would hope he could teach me how to improve lol.

But to actually hang out and chill, Marcurio would be pretty fun lol

#thank you!!! #asks #rucow

[garregmachmatchups]

regular matchup!

hi mod iva !! congrats on the new blog !

i’d like a regular matchup if you don’t mind

i’m a bi trans guy with a preference for boys. i’m 5'0 tall and just wanna be held against a big strong chest y'know…….

some personality junk: i get flustered really easily and often get made fun of for my inability to function around attractive people. my mbti type is intp! my exterior kinda lends to really blunt, intimidating person but i care really deeply about people and am an emotional little weenie when it comes to things/people i love. my love language is acts of service and i’ll bend over backwards to help somebody with anything! i recently went on meds for my mental health issues so i think my funny, carefree nature is finally poking through the depression and paranoia.

one time my entire class started freaking out over me talking to them and complimenting them….. they thought i hated them and were shocked that i didn’t at all :‘3..

interests: i am jus a liddol punk boy.. thas all.. i cannot change this. but really i genuinely am super passionate about rock music and punk subculture! i’m also super into horror everything, whether it’s visual art, movies, music, etc. my main hobby is art, i usually do portraits filled with lots of symbolism and macabre elements. i’m going into education as a career bc i care a ton about students and want to improve the system…

more specific loves of mine are flowers, fishies, and dogs!

i also.. prefer to eat bland food… i cannot handle spice or intense flavor :'3

–

UUH I FEEL BAD THAT THIS IS SO LONG.. thank u very much and good luck with the blog 🙇

Hi! Thank you so much for your request!!!❤️I’m really sorry this matchup took so long to get to, but hopefully, you’ll like it (btw you are so talented like wtf??? I was shaken to the core) Anyhow, your match is...

Caspar Von Bergliez!!!

Let me get this out of the way first, I know Caspar isn’t much of a hunk pre-time skip, but POST-time skip, now those are muscles my dude, but I digress. Caspar is a very easygoing guy, albeit hotheaded. No matter how awkward or strange a person may be, Caspar won’t hesitate to approach them. If there’s someone who wouldn’t be daunted by your intimidating mien, it’d be Caspar. Just like Caspar, you care a lot about people. While you express this through sentimentality, Caspar shows it through his sense of justice and love of fighting (the irony). By virtue of the importance he places on justice, it’s only natural that he’d want a partner with the same set of values, such as yourself. That being said, considering how reckless and headstrong he can be while “executing justice”, he also needs someone who won’t egg him on but instead calm him down or make him reconsider his actions before going through with them. So overall your shared feelings of sympathy for people, as well as his rashness and your rationale combines would make for a good balance between the two of you. In addition to what I’ve just mentioned, because of how eager Caspar is to step in and help people, whether that’d be by defending someone, or helping someone with their chores, as seen in various of his supports, I'd argue his love language is also acts of service. Caspar mainly focuses on defending the innocent and enjoying life, so he’d definitely encourage you to be carefree and funny, and would probably unintentionally be an enabler of sorts at times, his more laid-back lifestyle eventually rubbing off on you. It’s difficult to say whether Caspar seldom feels depressed or not, but what is apparent is that he encourages people to live their best life and stay true to themselves, in your case, to fight and free yourself from your depression. As we all know, Caspar is the second son in his family, so as he himself puts it he has to carve his own path, thus he’d probably be very very supportive of your desire to improve the education system, whether that’d be by granting better access to different opportunities, or equipping students with the skills needed to succeed in life.

Headcannons:

If you were to get flustered around Caspar because of his looks, well you’re in luck, he’ll probably never figure it out, he’s denser than a rock :D (yay?).

It’s probably for the best that you be as blunt as possible with Caspar, in regards to, like, everything, especially when you’re trying to flirt or something of the sort, if not, it’s gonna be a hella awkward and mortifying experience (I'm cringing just thinking about it).

Perfect height for you tbh, pre-time skip he’s kinda short, but taller than you, and post-time skip he is taller and much more muscular. 

Also, be careful what you wish for. As much fun as it is to spend your days held against a big strong chest, he might get overly enthusiastic and crush you in a hug with his muscles, just mentioning this as a precaution.

In all seriousness, he might not initiate any type of physical affection on his own, but once you do, he’ll very gladly reciprocate it.

It’d probably be a bit jarring when Caspar first approaches you, like you’re used to people being a bit wary of you, but Caspar would probably immediately ask you if you want to spar with him and afterwards asking you if you want to have lunch with him or something like that.

Caspar may not be the most clever, but he is definitely one of the most heartfelt people out there. Once he knows how much you struggle with you’re mental health he’ll be the most supportive boyfriend you could ask for. You might need to clarify some stuff for him, but he’ll always try his best to help you. And when you start showing your funny and carefree side, Caspar will be the find your jokes the funniest and your joyfulness the brightest.

In another life, Caspar would also probably be a little punk boy (and a metal fan as well, he’s definitely the type to enjoy screamo lol)

A lot of people might be put off by horror stuff, but Caspar would probably just find it intriguing. He’d probably not understand the nuances behind it, but if it makes you happy, he’d support you to the best of his abilities. 

He is ecstatic that you want to improve the education system, and he is always so proud to tell others about your career (maybe a bit too much lol).

Caspar likes animals as well, together you’d take on the responsibility of caring for all of the stray cats and dogs in the monastery. You are also notorious for adopting animals. Like who needs children when you’ve already got a big family of your own amirite?

You two are always willing to go the extra mile for each other in whatever situation, and you never miss the chance to help each other out. Whether you two declare your love for each other often or not, it’s when you are willing to do anything for one another that you realize how in love you guys are.

Other matches: Ferdinand von Aiger, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd

Hope you enjoyed the matchup! If you feel like you weren’t portrayed correctly/I misinterpreted your information let me know and I’ll make the corrections!

#black eagles #Fire Emblem Three Houses #fire emblem matchup #three houses matchup #request #11 #regularmatchup #Matchups #Three houses #submission

[momestuck]

Let’s read Hiveswap Friendsim volume 2!

So each volume of this VN is semi-self-contained, it seems. There’s not a continuous route through every chapter, or at least if there is, there’s no like persistent state beyond unlocking a little icon for befriending each troll.

The last couple of chapters seem to be bugged, since I have the achievements unlocked already, even though this is my first time playing the game.

Anyway last time our options were to get mind controlled by a twitch streamer, or steal loads of hot dogs with a homeless kid... or accidentally straight up fucking murder him, that can happen too. What are we up against next?

Beginning volume 2, it does in fact seem to be set chronologically after volume 1. Presumably Diemen won’t feature, since he may not have actually survived the first chapter!

So this time we have an indigo blood troll (same as Equius) - and a yellow blood (same as Sollux). So in each case, we’re basically one rung up the hemospectrum from the last game. Let’s go from left to right again.

Amisia

According to the credits, Amisia is written by Aysha U. Farah.

Amisia’s typing quirk seems to be that she doubles up the letter ‘u’. She finds us cute. Or rather, cuute.

She lives in a classy part of town.

Our first choice is whether or not we’re an artist. Going off pattern, saying we’ve never had a knack for art is the rejection option.

...turns out not. Apparently friendships with artists can be ‘frauught’. She’s very happy to have us along, and the narrator seems to be very happy to find someone not a ‘maniac’.

The narration calls attention to the paint on her smock. Which ‘doesn’t really look like paint’. 

Oh.

Ooooooooooh.

Yeah so remember the Grand Highblood who liked to paint his judgement chamber in the blood of various trolls? Yeah I’m pretty sure I can see where this one is going.

She puts our arm in a ‘medicalizer’ which heals our injury. The narration mentions we have a sling so... does that mean the branch where we killed Diemen is canon? Probably shouldn’t assume so. Maybe we got a sling in another branch. Then again... those other branches seem kind of final, so maybe this does follow killing Diemen, and ending up friendless.

We get the choice to be chill or dance around the room. Always dance, I say. Not surprisingly, we end up falling on our ass.

We fall on our ass a lot in this game. But the result is that we get a cut and that makes - shocker - Amisia really excited about our bright red human blood.

Lucky she never met Karkat, I suppose.

She takes the opportunity to be Space Racist.

Then she pulls out a huge axe. I guess if Equius’s thing was a huge bow, her thing might be a huge axe.

Whereas if we don’t flop around, we will surely remain unhurt. So I think we’re on track to become a kind of artistic blood donor.

The narrator finally gets a bit of a clue. But noo, she just wants to show us the axe... and somehow it slashes our wrists.

Sure is Hussie writing.

We get a reveal... she’s not a real painter. She’s ‘really good at the other parts’...

But now she’s inspired, and unlike her other contributors, she’s not gonna just murder us.

So instead we get kept on as a permanent muuse.

We really know how to pick ‘em in this game huh!

So now we have a couple of branch points to try. First, let’s say we’re an artist ourselves...

Amisia is not impressed.

The second branch we can try is to be chill about it when she heals our broken arm.

Ardata gets a mention. Technically this isn’t inconsistent with the route where Diemen dies, but I think it’s more likely this is a kind of ‘floating canon’ where you’ve implicitly tried all the routes, even if it doesn’t make strict logical sense. But if we want to construct a consistent timeline... either an Ardata route happens after Diemen dies, or we injure Ardata’s lusus and then do one of the Diemen routes.

In this route, you tell her you have red blood, and she assures you she has plenty of burgundy. How convenient.

This sounds healthy!

So some troll cops show up with a troll for Amisia to exsanguinate. (Oh it’s good when I get to use a word like “exsanguinate”!)

She tries to get us to do the axe murdering honours, but our ribs give out. We learn that, like Equius, she is STRONG. I recall that wasn’t supposed to be a general indigo-blood trait, but whatevs. So she gets us to hold the troll while she kills them instead.

It goes poorly.

Amisia briefly mentions another troll named Chahut as she kicks us out for messing up her hive.. I presume we’ll meet them later. We get another ending:

Honestly, this seems like a better ending for us. We’re alive, our arm’s repaired and we haven’t lost loads of blood, and we’re not trapped in a ‘friendship’ with Amisia.

Speaking of which... the narration hinted at some kind of supernatural cause behind our obsessive need for friendship, I think. That’s probably worth noting.

So now...

Cirava

I can’t find who wrote Cirava in the credits. Maybe I’m just not being observant!

I kinda like Cirava’s music actually. Feels cyberpunky.

Cirava’s typing quirk seems to be using the word ‘lmao’ a lot, and similar abbreviations. I’m kind of imagining that as saying ‘ell em ay o’ out loud.

We reveal that we’re an alien. Cirava seems chill.

Ohhhhhhh my god this is the vaporwave troll??? And there’s like... a troll bong there?

Also who’s that on the screen? Is that Ardata’s torture stream? ...no, those horns are different.

Cirava, it turns out, is also a streamer, whose viewers are into aliens.

So far... this seems kinda... not horrific? When’s the other shoe gonna drop lol

That’s a little real!

So, in Alternia, instead of vaporwave we have ‘moisturewave’. Which, I’m gonna say, we’re hella into.

Incidentally, the narration seems to be using ‘they’ pronouns for Cirava, so that’s neat.

So I guess we’re making fun of those music youtube channels too? Also trolls have anime, apparently.

The effects of chasing online fame are like, our Theme here I guess. Cirava mentions an ‘incident’ that made them less trusting...

A little on the nose huh.

Cirava, apparently, won’t be our friend unless we get a better aesthetic and a ‘chittr’ account. I’m pretty sure Homestuck already had a Twitter parody, but that was in the whole dream bubbles thing so I guess it wouldn’t extend to Alternia.

Our second choice is whether to let Cirava do our look, or do it ourself. Let’s try doing it ourselves.

Next stop, Harajuku. Cirava, luckily, is into it.

The narration seems to be pretty clear that the generic MSPA reader figure is a guy, alas.

Soon we’re being hit on by strangers. Next up, we’re vaping out of a bug’s ass.

So we get high on alien vape juice hell yeah. Time for THE INCIDENT.

Like a lot of trans girls (come on, vaporwave musician here? blatantly trans), Cirava got in a bunch of twitter chittr fights and started getting fake reported. Only on Alternia getting reported as a psionic means getting enslaved, not just banned off Twitter. This social media fight resulted in Cirava’s friends abandoning them to avoid being targeted (...yeah, that’s real), until Cirava removed their own eye to avoid being used as a psionic battery.

And now... they stay quiet, try not to get in fights, or get close to people.

Help I care about a fucking vaporwave troll now

So yeah that’s like... well of all the endings it’s the least awful one? god ><

Anyway what’s the other route? First, if we say we’re not into moisturewave... predictably, they say this isn’t going to work and kick us out.

Second, we get Cirava to dress us up.

hell yeah

Unfortunately Cirava gets kind of Chidi about the whole ‘making decisions’ thing. Eventually they dress us up...

Exactly like them.

Unfortunately this proves a bit too popular and Cirava freaks out that we’re going to steal their fame.

And as a result of stealing their look and popularity...

As a result, you straight up... kill yourself? With a gun that you find under a stump, because of MSPA memes?

Honestly?

Those wacky kids and their callout posts, am I right? This isn’t exactly a hot allostatic load level critique of disposability and social media mobbing here.

eh. whatever. this definitely feels like an outsider critique... but it feels more personal when I’m vaguely adjacent to the subculture getting mocked lol. (not that i smoke weed and work on vaporwave and make callout posts - but like Cirava’s whole thing is like ‘trans memer’ stereotype, you know?)

Anyway, that’s the outcomes available to us. Chill and smoke space weed with Cirava, be a living blood bank for Amisia, fail to murder someone, or die.

Fun times in Alternia!

I’m not sure if all of these episodes are gonna be like... ‘meet troll, hijinks, backstory dump, suffer’ or if there’s going to be more of a plot later on.

#lets read hiveswap friendsim #suicide cw #death cw #momestuck

[uwugenides]

FACT FOR EACH STAR GO GO GO !!!!!!!!!! :D

���️I love my boyfriend⭐️When I was little I dropped a can in the garbage on accident and my brother made me crawl in the trash can to get it back out and put it in the right thing.⭐️I have right duane's syndrome. It's a birth defect that makes it so I can't turn my right eye outwards, it stops in the middle and I see double when I try to do it.⭐️I once fell through bleachers from the very top, falling straight down, twenty(20) ft, and I hit five cross bars on my way to the ground. My life did flash before my eyes.⭐️Growing up I wanted to be the first female president. Now I'm a trans man and I hate the government.⭐️I always wanted a husky (I was a wolf and tiger kid) and I got one two years ago and I love her. Her name is Ember.⭐️uhhhhh,,,,,,,, I'm autistic, well specifically I have aspergers⭐️I think you gave me too many stars ⭐️I love space but if I think about the laws of time and space I get too existential and dissociate for hours⭐️I'm having trouble thinking up new facts. F u my friend⭐️I've never been in a play or musical where I didn't have a speaking part⭐️In theatre I played this kid who is two feet taller than me and has non-stop freckled' older brother, so that was fun⭐️How am I supposed to do this without feeling self-centered??? Is that a fact?⭐️I always start writing stories and never finish them.⭐️I have some fucked yo dreams that I will never tell to a single person⭐️Moana is my favorite animated movie, only second to Road to El Dorado⭐️I type like this n lke this n vvvv much like this,,,⭐️I'm watching America's Got Talent right now and it always manages to restore my faith in humanity⭐️also the dancing pumpkin man from that old meme is on America's Got Talent and I love him⭐️I feel so small and then I feel so big and it is weird⭐️I love anyone who messages me, any message or ask. Even hate stuff, like thamknyoi, you took the time to think about me, even if its death wishes, you thought about me⭐️I love doing scary makeup⭐️fucked up shit and horror is my thing, but I can't watch horror movies alone⭐️I used to be really into werewolves and stuff when I first got on the internet and I guess you couldve considered me a furry⭐️I'm in love with my boyfriend⭐️did I mention I love my boyfriend⭐️that doctor who band that was called like Chameleon something??? Idk but they made really good songs. Check them out you guys⭐️COMEDY IS GREAT, FUNNY PEOPLE CAN FUCK ME UP⭐️I'm into dark comedy, but not insensitive comedy. Your racist jokes aren't funny, Barbara.⭐️I love tamale pie. If you haven't had tamale pie you need to have it.⭐️tamale pie and cornbread are the best⭐️sushi is really good��️my old choir teacher sang opera and was professionally trained in it.⭐️we had a karaoke day once and he sang karaoke opera for everyone. I'm p sure it was Italian too⭐️we had three foreign exchange students last year at my old school, one from South Korea, one from Finland, and one from Switzerland.⭐️a kid from my school spent part of her year as a foreign exchange student in Spain and when she came back she brought three girls from Spain with her and they cursed a lot⭐️I feel guilty about practically everything I've ever done in my life⭐️SO MANY STARS⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️the Ghostbusters reboot is a very good movie⭐️I want to go to COS (college of the siskiyous) and then transfer to SOU (Southern Oregon University) so hey, hit me up⭐️one is the loneliest number that you ever did see⭐️I'm sad 24/7 but sometimes that sadness comes across as comedy and that the only reason people like me⭐️I'm a minor⭐️I'm hot as fuck, get on my level twunk⭐️I hate terfs⭐️I want to be so rich that if I wanted to I could pay for everyone in the entire North America and South America to have enough food for three square meals a day⭐️i own a hat that says "black lives matter" and I've gotten ripped off my head more than once while riding my bus home⭐️I have a slight hitchhikers thumb⭐️I was born with brown hair but by the time I was two months old my hair was white⭐️I have owned four(4) rats, two(2) rabbits, seven(7) cats, two(2) guinea pigs, five(5) dogs, and one(1) hamster named Eddie.⭐️I am a self-taught horse-rider⭐️I have been to two(2) rodeos.⭐️I have asthma⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️so I love my boyfriend⭐️I chew on ice⭐️I order snow cones without any flavoring⭐️snow cones without any flavoring are cheaper⭐️SO MANY STARS⭐️I could've gotten more asks by now and I wouldn't know because I'm answering your stars⭐️I cry too easily⭐️I pass surprisingly well for being a trans guy who has not started T⭐️my family once sat at the dinner table on thanksgiving talking about how my mom had the right to hit me and I would not be allowed to defend myself⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I didn't know my dad was alive for the first twelve years of my life aside from the fact that we got the occasional eleven(11) dollar child support⭐️I love dogs⭐️I love cats ⭐️I love birds⭐️I love lizards⭐️I love snakes⭐️I love rats⭐️I love mice⭐️I love fish⭐️that guy on YouTube, Coyote Peterson is my goals as a person. If I could just live as a guy who goes around and finds wildlife I would never ask for another thing in my life⭐️I've recently started playing Pokémon Go again. It's fun⭐️my first Pokémon was a pikachu⭐️I've already traded my first Pokémon for more candies because I'm vain and want to be the very best⭐️I used to be a compulsive liars and would spend hours at night crying because I thought I was a horrible person for it. I was seven(7) at the time.⭐️I'm a trans⭐️koala bears are actively not helping themselves stay alive, not a fact about me, just a fact I like.⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I just got a new kitten named Periwinkle Blue⭐️if I die before I travel to at least one(1) foreign country I will have died a sad man⭐️my great grandpa was Jewish and I carry a lot of that culture and its traditions down with me, despite not actually considering myself part of the religion.⭐️I'm a descendant of the Karuk tribe which is located in Northern California. I speak very little Karuk but it's a very pretty language!⭐️I'm also Irish, German, and as mentioned above (or alluded to at least) Hebrew.⭐️I'm white passing as far as my Native American roots go, and trust me, it is awkward being the whitest person at the tribal meetings.⭐️my birthname was the same name my great grandmother had, but is spelt in the newer form, not the Hebrew translated English form.⭐️I live in a very country oriented town. Everyone owns a cow. Or a pig. I almost owned a pig once.⭐️a lot of people say I'm not actually a trans guy because I was too much of an outstanding girl⭐️my insurance won't cover my top surgery⭐️I work as a dishwasher and it sucks ass⭐️I want to quit my job⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I went vegetarian for two weeks and then caved for a bag of salami someone left on the counter⭐️I drink at least one(1) Pepsi zero a day⭐️the first website I ever roleplayed on was QuoteV.com⭐️my mom just brought me a Fitbit that she got for me. What does this mean?⭐️I'm technically overweight yet look like the average "healthy" body.⭐️I have Mono⭐️I had lice in second(2) grade and lost many of my beloved stuffed animals because of that⭐️because of trauma I regress on occasion and my YouTube watch history is always interesting when that happens.⭐️I have extremely bad anxiety and don't even realize it half the time⭐️Jimmy Fallon is better than Jimmy Kimmel⭐️I once played a union soldier in a civil war reenactment held by a traveling group of reenactors and trust me, they do not mess around. If you've ever been in something like that you know that they are practically in character 24/7⭐️I love little kids but feel like I'm horrible with babies⭐️I fear I'll be a horrible parent and make my child feel the way my mom makes me feel⭐️I tried to get myself emancipated once and sadly failed as I'd gone through with a Or of the process before someone told me I wasn't old enough yet.⭐️stars are dying balls of gas⭐️I love my boyfriend ⭐️ SO MANY FUCKING STARS JESUS HAROLD CHRIST⭐️The H in Jesus H Christ stands for Harold, I looked it up once.⭐️I don't kinkshame but people should be a bit more conscious of what they do in general public access places.⭐️I've been in two(2) abusive relationships⭐️I take a lot of meds⭐️I might start T this year or next year⭐️I want top surgery before I graduate high school or the summer before I go to college⭐️I relate to Tony Stark as a person way to much⭐️I hate when the Hulk is only Hulk and never Bruce Banner⭐️I'm pretty self-confident most the time⭐️I've brought a blanket with me to school on more than one(1) occasion.⭐️I'm naturally a night owl and sleep better when sleeping during the day⭐️I take commissions for my art and you should commission me.⭐️currently I own three(3) dogs and two(2) cats. Mattie, the German shorthair mix, Ember the Alaskan/Siberian husky mix, and Memphis the purebred Doberman pinscher. One(1) adult cat named Freckles and one(1) kitten named Periwinkle Blue.⭐️I love video games.⭐️I love theories. Let's talk theories all day. Any theory, let's talk.⭐️I love talking about sociology and social expectations that aren't realized.⭐️I love collecting odd knick-knacks. I have many weird artifacts around my room, gathered by me or my yard-sale enthusiast grandpa.⭐️I hate Donald Drumpf.⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I hope my boyfriend loves me⭐️the best animated characters to ever exist are Jesse, James, and Meowth from Pokemon.⭐️I'm taking PE independently at my new school⭐️I love singing and acting but I worry that I'm the person that is really bad at it and no one will tell me⭐️I also love doing special effects makeup⭐️sculpting is great fun⭐️I'll be going to the San Francisco comic con this September so if you're there come see me⭐️I'm going to be Dipper for comic con and my boyfriend is going to be Bill Cipher⭐️Arya from Game of Thrones is the best young actress I've ever seen⭐️then again she's not actually that young⭐️I once got stung by a scorpion while being inside my own home on my own bed⭐️till I was like seven(7) I had to share a room with my mom because we didn't have a house big enough for me to sleep anywhere else⭐️my dog Mattie's fullname is Calamity Anastasia Strelow⭐️at the school I used to attend a kid dressed up as a "tr*nny" for Halloween and wasn't told to take off his costume till someone who wasn't trans and out at the school complained and that took me begging my friend.⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I'm Bigfoot and my boyfriend is Mothman⭐️Atomic Blond looks like a really good movie⭐️my first(1) two(2) rats were named Loulou and Pepper⭐️my rabbits were Midnight and Petals.⭐️my hamster was a Russian dwarf hamster and he ended up being eaten by my cat Bobby Joe who was eaten by a mountain lion from the local area⭐️a bear has been seen on my old elementary school's campus five(5) times in my lifetime⭐️wolves were once seen by the only starbucks in my town which was only opened up last year⭐️I live in a major gold mining area and I5 runs right through the town next to mine which is practically where I live⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I've had a full body massage once(1) in my life and let me tell you, you haven't lived till you've had your butt massaged⭐️I've taken like three(3) different classes for martial arts and never really followed through with any of them⭐️I've only been bitten by one dog in my entire life and it was completely my fault⭐️this post is too long Jesus fuck⭐️why⭐️the emoji movie doesn't actually look that bad in my opinion⭐️Despicable Me3(three) was actually a really good movie.⭐️I hate bad acting but I respect the effort⭐️every sibling I have is a half-sibling⭐️I'm a horrible person⭐️but I'm also the only good person alive aside from my friends and boyfriend so I'm conflicted ⭐️The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo is a must see by anyone who considers them self part of the LGBTQ+ community⭐️I don't consider queer a slur personally but I understand the history of it and I never have and never will use it to describe someone or a group of people without their explicit permission⭐️before I came out as a trans guy I thought I was gebderfluid⭐️Chase Ross is an awesome guy⭐️I feel like I look like Ronan from The Raven Cycle with my new haircut, but I always pictured him with a darker complexion so idk⭐️I hate Caitlin Jenner as a person, but not for her gender identity in and of itself.⭐️my phone is getting very warm⭐️these stars are horribly shaded⭐️I love being trans and don't regret it at all⭐️my husky is probably my favorite dog so far⭐️TOO MANY STARS⭐️I don't know anythinh⭐️I'm actually a robot and this is all a lie⭐️I want to be a popular blogger or like a YouTube or something but hhhhnnnnnggg⭐️I'm really into literature and English and history and everything about all of that⭐️I made my signature while scribbling and realized a particular scribble looked like my initials⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I watch too many shows ⭐️I want to be a teacher kind of⭐️I want a better job⭐️I want to be who I see in the mirror when I've got all thecright clothes on and I'm feeling confident ⭐️I want to be a better person⭐️I want to be amazing⭐️I want to be a good human being⭐️I want to be special⭐️I want to be good enough⭐️I want to be happy⭐️I want to be healthy⭐️I want to be happy with who I am⭐️I want to be me⭐️I want to be cool⭐️I want to realize that I can be all this things if I just let myself⭐️I want to kiss John Boyega⭐️I want to hug Chris Pratt⭐️I want to smile the way I smile when I see my boyfriend⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I want more scars⭐️I want to be more adventurous⭐️I want to be a great person⭐️I want to live a good life⭐️I want Drumpf to resign⭐️I want to be famous⭐️I want to be immortal for all the good and bad it brings⭐️I want to be good⭐️I want to be happy⭐️I want this to end⭐️I love my boyfriend

[bottomskywalker-moved-blog]

i was tagged by my brother @toddnyallison​!! :) 

Name: luke rose                                                                                     Starsign: sagittarius Height: 4′11″ Time Right Now: 10:39 PM Last thing you googled: a dc bombshells torrent lkjdflhkjf  Last book you read:  i’m gay i don’t know how to read!!!! (jk i’m reading a new dawn right now)  Favorite music artists:  whitney houston, carly rae jepsen, blondie, little mix, ariana grande, sia  Last TV show watched:  the flash bc tom felton has a beard in it and did i mention i’m gay  What are you wearing right now: an ariana grande t shirt and elephant pajama pants  When did you create this blog: i wanted a fresh start and to have a more organized and positive blog!  What kind of stuff do you post: star wars and humor mostly, but i also post a lot of pastels, xmen, dc, and other movies!!!  Do you have instagram: yeah but i’m not out as trans on there so i don’t like to give it away unless it’s to close mutuals/friends  Do you have snapchat: i used to, but i had to delete the app to make room for my bank app ldfkjhlkjfgkl  Do u get asks regularly: not really, but i do get some!!!  How did you choose your url: i couldn’t decide whether i wanted a luke url or an anakin url so i made one that applies to both  Gender: i’m a fucking cryptid  Favorite color: oh fuck man idk i like pastels a lot, but i also really like red.  Favorite characters: this is a slippery slope. but i like all the skywalkers (which includes han bc he’s luke’s husband and therefore a skywalker by marriage), and obi wan, and cassian, baze, chirrut, and bodhi. and lando and evaan too, and ahsoka and the whole ghost crew. outside of star wars i’m very pro-magneto  How many blankets do you sleep with: two to three comforters at all times. i’m very sensory and i need a lot of weight on me to sleep.  Dream job: a preschool teacher or a baker or a florist! 

1. How tall are you? i’m short as fuck!!!! 2. What colour and style is your hair? brown n shaggy  3. What colour are your eyes? brown 4. Do you wear glasses? ye 5. Do you wear braces? lkdgjfglkhj i had them for like 8 years  6. What is your fashion sense? pastel baby + confused 90s dad  7. Do you have any siblings? nah 8. What kinda student were/are you? i mean i procrastinate and avoid shit but i always do kinda well??? if i’m really interested in the topic then i get super into it  9. What is/was your favourite subject? psych and humanities (which was literature, art history, and music history!)  10. Favourite TV shows? uhhhhhhhhhh.... brooklyn nine nine, tcw/rebels, and probably gotham even though it’s fake edgy as fuck i just love bruce wayne?  11. Favourite books? i’m dumb as fuck i don’t read kjhlkfhjgvkj but i really like hamlet  12. Favourite pastime? sleeping bc i’m gay and i’m tired all the time, and writing when i have the energy for it  13. Any regrets? UH YEAH  14. What is your dream job? besides the others that i mentioned, i wouldn’t mind being a dog groomer or smth??? like i’d get to play with doggies all day and get them all clean so they feel good about themselves.  15. Do you want to get married? i’m kind of distressed that i’m not dating/married yet :/ i always wanted to get married and have kids young so i had plenty of time to spend with them but now i’m 21 and my clock is like TICK TICK BITCH  16. Do you want kids? How many? YES!!!!!! i want kids so bad :( i’d like 2 so no one gets left out and they have a best friend to grow up with!!! and i have a masculine name and a feminine name picked out (both sw related bc come on i’m me)  17. How many countries have you visited? 2!!! 18. What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had? mgfjfdjgdfklgj when i was a toddler i had this recurring nightmare that a dolphin came out of the fountain at the mall and said “i’m going to eat you up” and i still eye the fountain at the mall whenever i walk by

Music time

DIRECTIONS: You can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to! Put your MP3 player, itunes, spotify, etc. on shuffle & list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people everybody, no skipping ( aka the drag yourself with your own music, savvy? )

hungry like the wolf - duran duran 

judas - lady gaga 

the rooster moans - iron and wine 

black magic - little mix 

true trans soul rebel - against me! 

should have known better - sufjan stevens 

oh no! - marina and the diamonds 

personal jesus - johnny cash 

store - carly rae jepsen 

youth - troye sivan 

wow my whole gay aesthetic all in one 

RULES: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. 

Coke or Pepsi: i love diet pepsi and diet cherry pepsi but i usually drink coke zero 

Disney or Dreamworks: disney’s been pulling stunts lately but i can’t think of anything good that dreamworks has done in the past few years so neither and i’m going ghibli!!! 

Coffee or tea: tea :’) 

Books or movies: movies bc i’m gay and can’t read 

Windows or Mac: mac 

DC or Marvel: grew up a marvel kid but now i’m a dc kid but i’m still heavily attached to xmen and i’m not gonna let go 

Xbox or PlayStation: i don’t play video games because i’m broke and my gay baby hands are too small to hold the controllers :( 

Dragon Age or Mass Effect:  i thought the mass effect monster factory was full of wild twists and turns and exploding face bones. but i also really liked the dragon age episode they put out recently with dj slime time :/ so it’s hard to say 

Night owl or early riser: night owl but i want to be an early riser :/ 

Cards or chess: cards i guess ?

Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate always 

Manga or comics: comics

Soup or pasta? pasta i’m italian 

Single player or MMO/Co-op? i have no clue what this means i’m dumb as fuck ?? lgjfdhkljfg 

 Star Wars or Star Trek? star wars!!!! but the new star trek movie was good i liked the part with the gays 

Spring, summer, fall, or winter? kinda depends on my mood??? rn i’m in a period of spiritual renewal rn so spring’? 

my question: favorite movies? a new hope, revenge of the sith, moulin rouge, the grand budapest hotel, what we do in the shadows 

whoever wants to do it can consider themselves tagged!!! i’m too lazy to tag rn 

#luke.txt #about

[samthetired]

For the tell us something about post: 1-10 :) love u ❤️❤️❤️

1. Your romantic interests- I don't really have any. I try not to crush on people because it sucks but I still kind of do anyways. I also want to get to know then first and almost no one talks to me so guess I'm fucked. (This is an open invitation to talk to me just to become friends too)2. Your past relationship- I've had 2. My first was a male for a little over 2 years. There are many reasons that it failed but I don't think I would have found myself if I was still with him. I broke up with him. My next was with a female who was my best friend. I think it ultimately failed because I went off my meds and just didn't talk to anyone. We dated for a little over 2 years also and she broke up with me. She blocked me on every social media I believe and I don't know why. I did apologize so I did what I could.3. Your current relationship- I am not in one even though I want to be. I would even do long distance if I needed to but I think I need to come to the conclusion that no one likes me like that. I do think that I'm in a good mental health place and a relationship would do me good.4. Your best friend- she is amazing and does art and photography so well. The Christmas gift that she got me that I keep forgetting to post is amazing and I'm so glad I met her.5. Your worst friend- myself probably. I'm in a good mental state but it's kind of hard to love your body when it's wrong. That's a reason I'm going to be looking into a binder.6. Your parents- they are very Christian. I will probably be kicked out of the family if I ever come out or am outed. My mom believes if I relied more on god then I wouldn't have depression and they treat me like a nerotypical so that fucking sucks ass, and not in the good way. 😜7. Your siblings- I have an older brother that's amazing. We keep each others secrets. He knows I've dated a girl and was cool with it. He doesn't know the other stuff but I'm sure he would be cool with it too. He is at school for horticulture and made the Dean's list after not being in school for a while.8. Your pets- I sadly do not have any pets. We babysit other people's dogs every now and again but nothing I can call my own.9. Your dreams- I would love to work on video games, transition, practice my craft more, and move out of the south so I can be me.10. Your day dreams- mostly it's how I want to romance the shit out of someone and be in a relationship where we move in together and get some animals. There's also where I get to work with big names in the video game world. I also dream about coming out and my family bring really accepting about the not straight thing and the trans thing.Sorry about this probably looking like shit. I am pretty much a strictly mobile user. Thank you so much for the ask! I don't know if I was more exited about getting an ask or who the ask was from.I am always taking asks!

[isaacjosephexe]

7 January 2017

2017 has been anything but a blank slate. things just keep continuing to go wrong, and i really need an outlet, so im going to start screaming into the void. so on the positive side, im slowly improving my photography techniques and other various art skills. i've been accepted into the academy of art university and the university of san francisco, and im heavily leaning towards art u. im hoping to either double major, or combine a major/minor in photography and graphic design. i also got my first freelance job from a friend in new york city, and ill post the process of creating his bike team's logo. i also just got an ipad and a samsung j7 (which is actually a much nicer phone than you'd assume from the price) so on the technology aspect of things i have a lot of tools at my fingertips. particularly with the j7 it's got an incredible camera, and when i combine it with the clip on fisheye, wide angle, and macro lenses my girlfriend got me, i can put together some pretty incredible stuff. my next project for my photography class is a photo montage in the style of david hockney, and as an artist i've found his work to be extremely inspiring. plus we share a lot in common, having moved from england to the US. for that project i'm thinking of using my brothers brice and ryan as subjects, because even though we may not actually be blood related they've been my family here in new jersey and when i move i don't ever want to forget them or what theyve done for me. and now on to the depressing bits. feel free to save your time and emotion by skipping the next few paragraphs.

so to start the year, i came home from an equally great/awful time in england with my family to find that my dog (who i've cared for and loved since elementary school) is extremely sick. she had been in the hospital for a day and she ended up staying there for 4 more after that. she has a gallbladder infection and a gallstone, whipworm, she didn't eat anything for the entire 10 days we were away so she's become all skin and bones, and on top of that there's a chance that her cancer may have come back. on top of that, in order to find out whether it has or not, she would need invasive tests done that could very well kill her. she's getting old, i know that. she's gone through so much in her life and shes done so much good. but god, i'm just not ready to let go of her quite yet. the second time i visited her in the hospital they had lowered her pain medication so she finally knew who we were. she came in, shaky but tail still wagging, right to me. i laid on the floor with her as she rested her head in my lap and fell asleep. my parents took turns laying at eye level on the floor with her, my mom sobbing as she pleaded, "come on bella - you need to get through this, you need to come back, there are so many bunnies and rabbits and squirrels for you to chase, please you just need to come back, you need to..." and i just sat there, mute, silently crying as i stroked the dog's head. when our visiting hours were over, the nurse came in and tried to wake her up - like really shaking her face - and she just wouldn't open her eyes. i felt instant nausea. time seemed to slow as her head jostled and her jaundice eyes opened for a moment then closed, with no sign of life. the nurses, calm as ever, decided it would be easier to just drag her by her bed into the other room. they started to open the door and pull the mattress - and suddenly she jerked awake. her eyes red but still there, as if she had just fallen fast asleep and we had interrupted her hibernation. as you can tell, it really affected me. i mean, i thought i was going to watch my dog die right then and there. the next few days in school my emotions were like a child who had just discovered a light switch, on and off sporadically. some moments i was numb and unable to feel anything at all. other times i was sobbing to one english teacher or another about everything that was going on with me. now that i'm in my senior year, most of my old teachers are just good friends more than anything. especially my AP lit teacher from last year. she helped me through my first year out socially as a trans man, and now i know i can rely on her for any problems i'm facing. i talked to her about my fears about my dog, i talked to her about my lack of support since my therapist quit, i talked to her about my week in the psych ward two years ago, i talked to her about my difficulties with my family, and i talked to her about my fear that i may be on the autism spectrum and have sensory processing disorder. and of all the people i told, she really listened. she even knew what sensory processing disorder was, and that made her the first of the people i've told to actually understand what i was talking about. she was the first person that day i could handle talking to without sobbing. she gives honest advice and lets me know that she cares. y'know, people disregard how important teachers are to the world. if it weren't for this woman, i don't know how i'd be getting through what i am right now. but when she's not around, i never know who i can talk to. my girlfriend is having a very rough time, and because of that she tries to refrain from telling me everything in hopes it will lessen my worry, when in reality it's doing the opposite. but frankly, i do the same thing. it's just so hard to talk, to communicate. everyone is hurting. but between us specifically, it's made me scared that she's going to leave me, although i know now that she's not thinking about that in the slightest. everything is different now and nobody knows how to deal with it. i guess all we can do now is stay alive. keep pushing. i sometimes wonder what would happen if we didn't.

#personal #update #tw depression #tw suicidal thoughts #tw anxiety #sensory processing disorder #spd #autism #mental illness #tw sick animals #tw sick dog #art #college #art school #photography #graphic design