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mostlymovieswithmax · 3 years

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Movies I watched in May

Sadly, I kind of skipped writing a post for April. It was a mad month with so much going on: lots of emails sent and lots of stress. I started a new job so I’m getting to grips with that... and even then, I still watched a bunch of movies. But this is about what I watched in May and, yeah… still a bunch. So if you’re looking to get into some other movies - possibly some you’ve thought about watching but didn’t know what they were like, or maybe like the look of something you’ve never heard of - then this may help! So here’s every film I watched from the 1st to the 31st of May 2021 Tenet (2020) - 8/10 This was my third time watching Christopher Nolan’s most Christopher Nolan movie ever and it makes no sense but I still love it. The spectacle of it all is truly like nothing I’ve ever seen. I had also watched it four days prior to this watch also, only this time I had enabled audio description for the visually impaired, thinking it would make it funny… It didn’t.

Nomadland (2020) - 6/10 Chloé Zhao’s new movie got a lot of awards attention. Everyone was hyped for this and when it got put out on Disney+ I was eager to see what all the fuss was about. Seeing these real nomads certainly gave the film an authenticity, along with McDormand’s ever-praisable acting. But generally I found it quite underwhelming and lacking a lot in its pacing. Nomadland surely has its moments of captivating cinematography and enticing commentary on the culture of these people, but it felt like it went on forever without any kind of forward direction or goal. The Prince of Egypt (1998) - 6/10 I reviewed this on my podcast, The Sunday Movie Marathon. For what it is, it’s pretty fun but nowhere near as good as some of the best DreamWorks movies.

Chinatown (1974) - 8/10 What a fantastic and wonderfully unpredictable mystery crime film! I regret to say I’ve not seen many Jack Nicholson performances but he steals the show. Despite Polanski’s infamy, it’d be a lie to claim this wasn’t truly masterful. Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) - 8/10 Admittedly I was half asleep as I curled up on the sofa to watch this again on a whim. I watched this with someone who demanded the dubbed version over the subtitled version and while I objected heavily, I knew I’d seen the movie before so it didn’t matter too much. That person also fell asleep about 20 minutes in, so how pointless an argument it was. Howl’s Moving Castle boasts superb animation, the likes of which I’ve only come to expect of Miyazaki. The story is so unique and the colours are absolutely gorgeous. This may not be my favourite from the legendary director but there’s no denying its splendour.

Bāhubali: The Beginning (2015) - 3/10 The next morning I watched some absolute trash. This crazy, over the top Indian movie is hilarious and I could perhaps recommend it if it weren’t so long. That being said, Bāhubali was not a dumpster fire; it has a lot of good-looking visual effects and it’s easy to see the ambition for this epic story, it just doesn’t come together. There’s fun to be had with how the main character is basically the strongest man in the world and yet still comes across as just a lucky dumbass, along with all the dancing that makes no sense but is still entertaining to watch. Seven Samurai (1954) - 10/10 If it wasn’t obvious already, Seven Samurai is a masterpiece. I reviewed this on The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast, so more thoughts can be found there. Red Road (2006) - 6/10 Another recommendation on episode 30 of the podcast. Red Road really captures the authentic British working class experience. Before Sunrise (1995) - 10/10 One of the best romances put to film. The first in Richard Linklater’s Before Trilogy is undoubtedly my favourite, despite its counterparts being almost equally as good. It tells the story of a young couple travelling through Europe, who happen to meet on a train and spend the day together. It is gloriously shot on location in Vienna and features some of the most interesting dialogue I’ve ever seen put to film. Heartbreakingly beautiful.

Tokyo Story (1953) - 9/10 This Japanese classic - along with being visually and sonically masterful - is a lot about appreciating the people in your life and taking the time to show them that you love them. It’s about knowing it’s never too late to rekindle old relationships if you truly want to, which is something I’ve been able to relate to in recent years. It broke my heart in two. Tokyo Story will make you want to call your mother. Before Sunset (2004) - 10/10 Almost a decade after Sunrise, Sunset carries a sombre yet relieving feeling. Again, the performances from Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke take me away, evoking nostalgic feelings as they stroll through the contemporary Parisian streets. There is no regret in me for buying the Criterion blu-ray boxset for this trilogy. Before Midnight (2013) - 10/10 Here, Linklater cements this trilogy as one of the best in film history. It’s certainly not the ending I expected, yet it’s an ending I appreciate endlessly. Because it doesn’t really end. Midnight shows the troubling times of a strained relationship; one that has endured so long and despite initially feeling almost dreamlike in how idealistically that first encounter was portrayed, the cracks appear as the film forces you to come to terms with the fact that fairy-tale romances just don’t exist. Relationships require effort and sacrifice and sometimes the ones that truly work are those that endure through all the rough patches to emerge stronger. The Holy Mountain (1973) - 10/10 Jodorowsky’s masterpiece is absolute insanity. I talked more about it on The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) - 10/10 Another watch for Grand Budapest because I bought the Criterion blu-ray. As unalterably perfect as ever. Blue Jay (2016) - 6/10 Rather good up to a point. My co-hosts and I did not agree on how good this movie was, which is a discussion you can listen to on my podcast. Shadow and Bone: The Afterparty (2021) - 3/10 For what it’s worth, I really enjoyed the first season of Shadow and Bone, which is why I wanted to see what ‘The Afterparty’ was about. This could have been a lot better and much less annoying if all those terrible comedians weren’t hosting and telling bad jokes. I don’t want to see Fortune Feimster attempt to tell a joke about oiling her body as the cast of the show sit awkwardly in their homes over Zoom. If it had simply been a half hour, 45 minute chat with the cast and crew about how they made the show and their thoughts on it, a lot of embarrassment and time-wasting could have been spared. Wadjda (2012) - 6/10 Another recommendation discussed at length on The Sunday Movie Marathon. Wadjda was pretty interesting from a cultural perspective but largely familiar in terms of story structure.

Freddy Got Fingered (2001) - 2/10 A truly terrible movie with maybe one or two scenes that stop it from being a complete catastrophe. Tom Green tried to create something that almost holds a middle finger to everyone who watches it and to some that could be a fun experience, but to me it just came across as utterly irritating. It’s simply a bunch of scenes threaded together with an incredibly loose plot. He wears the skin of a dead deer, smacks a disabled woman over and over again on the legs to turn her on, and he swings a newborn baby around a hospital room by its umbilical cord (that part was actually pretty funny). I cannot believe I watched this again, although I think I repressed a lot of it since having seen it for the first time around five years ago. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 - (2011) I have to say, these movies seem to get better with each instalment. They’re still not very good though. That being said, I’m amazed at how many times I’ve watched each of the Twilight movies at this point. This time around, I watched Breaking Dawn - Part 1 with a YMS commentary track on YouTube and that made the experience a lot more entertaining. Otherwise, this film is super dumb but pretty entertaining. I would recommend watching these movies with friends. Solaris (1972) - 8/10 Andrei Tarkovsky’s grand sci-fi epic about the emotional crises of a crew on the space station orbiting the fictional planet Solaris is much as strange and creepy as you might expect from the master Russian auter. I had wanted to watch this for a while so I bought the Criterion blu-ray and it’s just stunning. It’s clear to see the 2001: A Space Odyssey inspiration but Solaris is quite a different beast entirely. Jaws (1975) - 4/10 I really tried to get into this classic movie, but Jaws exhibits basically everything I don’t like about Steven Spielberg’s directing. For sure, the effects are crazily good but the story itself is poorly handled and largely uninteresting. It was just a massive slog to get through.

Darkman (1990) - 6/10 Sam Raimi’s superhero movie is so much fun, albeit massively stupid. Further discussion on Darkman can be found on episode 32 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast. Darkman II: The Return of Durant (1995) - 1/10 Abysmal. I forgot the movie as I watched it. This was part of a marathon my friends and I did for episode 32 of our podcast. Darkman III: Die Darkman Die (1996) - 1/10 Perhaps this trilogy is not so great after all. Only marginally better than Darkman II but still pretty terrible. More thoughts on episode 32 of my podcast. F For Fake (1973) - 8/10 Rewatching this proved to be a worthwhile decision. Albeit slightly boring, there’s no denying how crazy the story of this documentary about art forgers is. The standout however, is the director himself. Orson Welles makes a lot of this film about himself and how hot his girlfriend is and it is hilarious.

The Mitchells vs. The Machines (2021) - 4/10 More style over substance, Sony’s new animated adventure wants so much to be in trend with the current internet culture but it simply doesn’t understand what it’s emulating. There’s a nyan cat reference, for crying out loud. For every joke that works, there are about ten more that do not and were it not for the wonderful animation, it simply wouldn’t be getting so much praise. Taxi Driver (1976) - 10/10 The first movie I’ve seen in a cinema since 2020 and damn it was good to be back! I’ve already reviewed Taxi Driver in my March wrap-up but seeing it in the cinema was a real treat. Irreversible (2002) - 8/10 One of the most viscerally horrendous experiences I’ve ever had while watching a movie. I cannot believe a friend of mine gave me the DVD to watch. More thoughts on episode 32 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast. Don’t watch it with the family. The Golden Compass (2007) - 1/10 I had no recollection of this being as bad as it is. The Golden Compass is the definition of a factory mandated movie. Nothing it does on its own is worth any kind of merit. I would say, if you wanted an experience like what this tries to communicate, a better option by far is the BBC series, His Dark Materials. More of my thoughts can be found in the review I wrote on Letterboxd.

Antichrist (2009) - 8/10 Lars von Trier is nothing if not provocative and I can understand why someone would not like Antichrist, but I enjoyed it quite a lot. After watching it, I wrote a slightly disjointed summary of my interpretations of this highly metaphorical movie in the group chat, so fair warning for a bit of spoilers and graphic descriptions: It's like, the patriarchy, man! Oppression! Men are the rational thinkers with big brains and the women just cry and be emotional. So she's seen as crazy when she's smashing his cock and driving a drill through his leg to keep him weighted down. Like, how does he like it, ya know? So then she mutilates herself like she did with him and now they're both wounded, but the animals crowd around her (and the crow that he couldn't kill because it's Mother nature, not Father nature, duh). Then he kills her, even though she could've killed him loads of times but didn't. So it's like "haha big win for the man who was subjected to such horrific torture. Victory!" And then all the women with no faces come out of the woods because it's like a constant cycle. Manchester By The Sea (2016) - 6/10 Great performances in this super sad movie. I can’t say I got too much out of it though. Roar (1981) - 9/10 Watching Roar again was still as terrifying an experience as the first time. If you want to watch something that’s loose on plot with poor acting but with real big cats getting in the way of production and physically attacking people, look no further. This is the scariest movie I’ve ever seen because it’s all basically real. Cannot recommend it enough. Eyes Without A Face (1960) - 8/10 I’m glad I checked this old French movie out again. There’s a lot to marvel at in so many aspects, what with the premise itself - a mad surgeon taking the faces from unsuspecting women and transplanting them onto another - being incredibly unique for the time. Short, sweet and entertaining!

Se7en (1995) - 10/10 The first in a David Fincher marathon we did for The Sunday Movie Marathon, episode 33. Zodiac (2007) - 10/10 Second in the marathon, as it was getting late, we decided to watch half that evening and the last half on the following evening. Zodiac is a brilliant movie and you can hear more of my thoughts on the podcast (though I apologise; my audio is not the best in this episode). Gone Girl (2014) - 10/10 My favourite Fincher movie. More insights into this masterpiece in episode 33 of the podcast. Friends: The Reunion (2021) - 6/10 It was heartwarming to see the old actors for this great show together again. I talked about the Friends reunion film at length in episode 33 of my podcast.

Wolfwalkers (2020) - 10/10 I reviewed this in an earlier post but would like to reiterate just how wonderful Wolfwalkers is. If you get the chance, please see it in the cinema. I couldn’t stop crying from how beautiful it was. Raya and The Last Dragon (2021) - 6/10 After watching Wolfwalkers, I decided I didn’t want to go home. So I had lunch in town and booked a ticket for Disney’s Raya and The Last Dragon. A child was coughing directly behind me the entire time. Again, I reviewed this in an earlier post but generally it was decent but I have so many problems with the execution. The Princess Bride (1987) - 9/10 Clearly I underrated this the last time I watched it. The Princess Bride is warm and hilarious with some delightfully memorable characters. A real classic!

The Invisible Kid (1988) - 1/10 About as good as you’d expect a movie with that name to be, The Invisible Kid was a pick for The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast, the discussion for which you can listen to in episode 34. Babel (2006) - 9/10 The same night that I watched The Invisible Kid, I watched a masterful and dour drama from the director of Birdman and The Revenant. Babel calls back to an earlier movie of Iñárritu’s, called Amores Perros and as I was informed while we watched this for the podcast, it turns out Babel is part of a trilogy alongside the aforementioned film. More thoughts in episode 34 of the podcast. Snake Eyes (1998) - 1/10 After feeling thoroughly emotionally wiped out after Babel, we immediately watched another recommendation for the podcast: Snake Eyes, starring Nicolas Cage. This was a truly underwhelming experience and for more of a breakdown into what makes this movie so bad, you can listen to us talk about it on the podcast.

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agentnico · 4 years

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Tenet (2020) Review

Not sure I can like this movie......it made me feel stupid.

Plot: Armed with only one word, Tenet, and fighting for the survival of the entire world, a Protagonist journeys through a twilight world of international espionage on a mission that will unfold in something beyond real time.

The film to save cinema. Or so it is hoped. Christopher Nolan pushed Warner Bros. to stick with the movie’s original July release date for as long as possible (even with the COVID shutdown), and with Nolan being Nolan, Warner Bros. tried to appease him for as long as possible, but in the end Tenet was delayed to come out end of August, with hopes to bring audiences back to the multiplexes for the remainder of the year. First and foremost, having been to the cinemas now, I can assure everyone that it is very much safe to go back to enjoy screenings, as theatres have made all the necessary new precautions to ensure both visitors and employees are safe and protected. However, is Tenet itself worth the cinema visit?

Honestly, I don’t even know. I find myself in quite the perplexing situation where I watched the film, but it feels like I didn’t watch the film, as I legitimately didn’t understand much of what was being throwing on the screen. Mind you, there is a lot being thrown. Christopher Nolan takes full advantage of his $250 million budget (Jesus!) giving us intense action sequences, sprawling James Bond-style locations and so many LOUD NOISES!!! I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE ARE YELLING ABOUT!! Seriously, this movie is one hell of a kicker to the eardrums. If you come out of the cinema deaf, consider yourself lucky, that’s only the first phase. But not only is it loud, as a whole the sound mixing in Tenet is embarrassingly abysmal! Background sounds constantly overplay the dialogue, making most of the speech near inaudible. In addition, Nolan seems to be missing his The Dark Knight trilogy days, by turning every character in Tenet into Tom Hardy’s Bane, wearing masks which causes anything that’s spoken to sound muffled and near impossible to understand. I guess Nolan is unintentionally being with the times, as in our current climate everyone has to wear masks too, however both in reality and in-film, masks garble up lines making any kind of dialogue incomprehensible. Here I thought, I may not understand what someone’s asking me at a shop, but at least I get what this character in the movie is saying. Seems I was wrong then, wasn’t I! Gosh darn it Nolan, you ruined Christmas! And yes, summer ended, get ready for those annoying folk who start Christmas celebrations as early as September. But I digress, the sound editing is terrible and definitely undermines the film’s other technological accomplishments with the massive sets and all-practical effects. That being said, there is a wonderful exchange at one point in the movie between Robert Pattinson’s and John David Washington’s characters. “Hngmmhmmh,” says Pattinson. “Mmghh nmmhhmmmm nghhh,” replies Washington. Marvellous.

Moving back to the film’s plot though, I don’t get it. From my understanding, the main story thread-line is actually fairly generic, with Denzel Washington’s son discovering a secret organisation that deals with world threats, and he has to go and find some evil dude who does evil things and is very very evil who may be played by a Brit (of course!) who’s doing his best at a Russian accent (double of course!) who happens to have some deadly weapon that is to cause a nuclear war. So you know, typical Bond stuff. However Christopher Nolan chooses to present this story in such a ridiculously convoluted way, that you get confused by the entire shindig even before all the time-travelling weirdness is introduced. Speaking of the time-travelling element, Nolan introduces us to this new inversion gimmick, and don’t get me wrong, I think the concept itself is actually really cool with huge potential if done right, however its execution in this movie leaves us with only questions and no answers, but even with the questions, I don’t even know what said questions are, as I just didn’t get it. Apparently I’m not alone in this, as even one of the film’s stars, Robert Pattinson, was constantly confused by the script, so spent the entire shoot asking his co-star John David Washington to explain everything to him. It literally is an unsolvable puzzle. It kind of seems like Nolan had a dream, and once he woke up, he decided to just go ahead and make the film without understanding all the details himself, with the motto of “I’m Christopher Nolan b**ches!” and of course, he is Nolan, he could make a movie about a toilet seat having feelings and people would still dig that stuff up!

When it comes to the performances, there isn’t much I can say. All the characters are not given much depth and are quite one-dimensional, so even though both leads Washington and Pattinson are charismatic and likeable, it’s only because I like the actors themselves, not the characters. Same goes for the likes of Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Yesterday’s Himesh Patel, again, all likeable actors, couldn’t tell you anything about their characters. Elizabeth Debicki is the only who’s given at least some minimal layers, being the emotional core of the movie, but then again, she is mainly kept under the damsel-in-distress role throughout. Kenneth Branagh does the evil Bond villain fine, but his reasons for wanting to end the world kind of leave you thinking “is that it?”. Oh, and Michael Caine gets one of the top-billings on the movie’s posters, yet he’s in the film for less than 5 minutes. That must be one of the easiest paychecks ever!

I really wanted to like Tenet. I admire Christopher Nolan as a director and adore his passion for cinema, however this movie didn’t work for me. It’s too intricately complicated, but in a way where it feels like the movie thinks its more clever than it actually is, the sound design and muffled dialogue is atrocious, there’s no character depth and is overall one of Nolan’s weaker outings. Who would’ve thought that the big reason to return to the cinemas would actually be Bill and Ted!

Overall score: 4/10

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agentwallflower · 4 years

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Supernova: Chapter 3

Nothing can hurt me, I got Raymond in Animal Crossing.

Anyway... updates. Back to work. I hate everything and everyone. My dice didn’t cure properly, but my friend liked her birthday present! I need to work on my art projects and... yeah. I’m frustrated.

Also it’s like 90 freaking degrees out... ugh.

Anyway, nobody wants to hear about my failed attempts to get published. I’m just going to submit the chapter and go to bed. Next chapter comes out on May 30th, so get excited.

Laters.

“Just a few more seconds and we'll be done.”

That was a relief, because it felt like her back was about to break in two.

Andy grimaced as she continued the fool's errand of trying to touch the floor while standing. Maybe it was because she was just too damn tall to pull it off, or all of her height came from her legs, but she still had quite a ways to go. Until she got the all clear, all she could do was glare at the floor and hope nothing broke along the way.

Up above, someone was measuring the length of her back with a way too cold tape measure. They never really told her what they were looking for, or what their readings meant after they finished up. She chalked it up to them trying to measure her growth and never asked more questions. Even if she had, Andy doubted she would get any real answers out of the white coats. They took data, she gave it – that was how they worked at this point.

“Are we done yet?”

“One more measurement and... done. You can relax now.”

The tech stepped back – old hand at this, no doubt. Andy's body didn't react kindly to having to hold the position for as long as they needed. Instead of straightening up, it snapped. She wound up on the floor face-down, resisting the urge to groan as her vision swam. It never got any easier, no matter how many times she went through this.

If they were testing her flexibility, those readings had to be abysmal.

“Do you need a hand?” a softer voice came from her side. New person, had to be. They were close enough that they could've offered a hand, but judging from how they stepped back that it had been out of habit.

Definitely a new person. They were always scared of her.

She eventually sat up, still feeling the pulling sensation of tension in her back. “It's cool. A linoleum floor isn't going to take me out that easily.”

They didn't argue with her as she stood, feeling her body go rigid at points. It took a few seconds of feeling like shit for it to stop hurting so much. Well, hurt was relative – they weren't quite sure she could feel that kind of thing. Uncomfortable worked just fine for the official records. What she felt didn't really matter as much.

That was odd in her opinion, but she was just the test subject. It wasn't her ass dealing with the world's worst IRB.

“How's our favorite subject today?”

A familiar voice caused Andy to turn her head. There was a woman in the doorway, tablet in hand. She knew her as Dr. Sakamoto, the scientist in charge of the study. They had known each other for years, since Andy was five. In all those years, she hadn't seemed to age much. Then again, she was a pretty bad judge of age.

At least she didn't have pliers this time.

“All the subject readings are - “ the tech was ignored as Sakamoto strode into the room, heading for her subject instead. Oh, definitely a newer scientist – they weren't used to their subjects being able to talk back. They would learn in time.

Andy shrugged her shoulders as best she could. “I don't like bending over.”

“You never do.” The woman chuckled good-naturedly – Andy always doubted whether that was true or not – as she approached. “Do you mind if we get a count on your teeth? I see your jaw is sitting a little differently this month.”

Before she could say anything, the scientist added “No pliers, just a count.”

Good. The last time they put pliers in her mouth, it was impossible to get rid of the taste. For this, Andy was more than happy to open her mouth. By now, everyone there was smart enough not to stick anything squishy inside if they wanted it back in one piece. Instead, she felt the cold tap of metal against her teeth as they were methodically counted.

One of the great parts of this was that she had no gag reflex to speak of – they could go all the way back and never get a reaction out of her.

“42... 43...” One final tap. “Looks like you have 46. That's 2 more than last time. Have you found you're eating any differently?”

Another shrug of her shoulders. “The front ones really do all the work, I don't pay much attention to my back row.”

“We'll have to observe you next snack time.” All the data was entered into her pad. Sakamoto nodded at the findings. “Looks like that's all we need for you today. Is your mother picking you up this time-”

Andy snorted as she headed back over to the table in order to get dressed. Conversations were always easier like this when she had something on her. The worn denim and cotton was something like her mental armor.

“You know she hasn't picked me up in years, doc. Besides, pretty sure one of her clients shit the bed this morning.” She settled her shirt back into place, rotating her shoulder to make sure everything was sitting right. “It's Aunt Miri again.”

Sakamoto nodded as she continued to type. “Right, Aunt Miri. Has she given any thought to letting me get a sample-”

Another snort as Andy pulled her necklace back into place. “You know her answer, doc: you can jam your sample tube up your ass.”

Well, her aunt had said way worse than that the day they had spoken about it, but it would have been rude to repeat those words. Besides, she didn't have nearly as strong a control on Russian as the older woman did. Her accent just never came out right; maybe it was how her mouth was shaped?

At least the doctor didn't look too disappointed in the prospect that she wasn't going to get what she wanted. “I can at least dream she'll change her mind one day, yes?”

“Keep dreaming, doc, Aunt Miri has a definite no contact order with doctors who want to study her. Pretty sure she's got acid on her nerve endings just thinking about it.”

Andy left the room as soon as the door opened and before Sakamoto could try to explain to her that acid didn't work that way. She could still hear talk of denaturing proteins being sub-optimal for nerve endings as it slid shut behind her. Now she was alone in the hallway, but not really alone. After all, there were cameras everywhere.

Besides, anywhere she went in the lab was a double wall. She could see them watching her now behind the wall that was supposed to be a stretch of blank hallway.

Andy walked along, hands in the pockets of her well-worn jeans. By now, she was long used to the calculating stares and eternal scratching of notepads or keying of information. It didn't take a genius to realize she was their prize research project. To them, she was probably nothing more than points of data on a graph or the byline to getting a new research grant. It probably should have bothered her, but she just didn't have the energy to care anymore.

Besides, they didn't know their data was faulty. After all, wasn't the point of watching a subject covertly to see how they reacted that you weren't caught with the binoculars?

“Wonder if I can grab a snack before I go.” The room she wanted was close by anyway. A glowing sign pointed the way, but she was going off muscle memory at that point. One of the fun facts about being her was that her vision was... off. Things needed to be flipped and oriented from bottom to top for her to be able to read. Most places obviously didn't bother with that, so... she was kind of functionally illiterate.

That didn't matter much, though. It wasn't like she went anywhere that reading was required.

It was fun to watch a few people flinch as she poked her head in. “Hey, is there any leftovers for me today?”

One of the older techs, one who was long used to her, pointed to a nearby bowl with a practiced gesture. “We have some blue ones, and I think Ray from the night shift snuck in a purple. Something about you being a growing kid and needing all the nutrition you can get.”

Indeed, there was a delicious little treat sticking out of the top of a plastic bowl labeled ' for Andromeda'. At one point, she had scratched out the other half of her name with an ill-gotten sharpie, but the fact remained the bowl was for her. And as such, she was more than happy to take a few samples and go off happy, munching.

Technically, she should have been sitting while she ate – less crumbs. But they needed all the data they could get on her, right?

Andy was soon in her designated waiting area, polishing off the last of her snack. From her seat, she could see out the path that would let her leave the lab. It was through a metal-detector, a full body scanner, and a place where few nasty looking guards sat. One of them nodded to her, but said nothing. They never did.

Once, when she was younger, she had tried to run out on her own when she'd seen her mother. Almost getting shot had taught her the hard way to wait until she got signed out.

“Wonder where Aunt Miri is?” Andy licked the last bit of residue off one of her fingers as she watched for familiar signs of her aunt. “Hope she didn't get stuck cleaning up the mess this morning.”

She had gotten to see a bit of it when her sister had let her use her phone. Even a few hours later, they were probably still defrosting the pipes and getting downtown moving. It was no doubt making traffic a nightmare.

Lucky for her, Bear Paw Labs wasn't anywhere near that. It paid to be set on the edge of a massive explosion that required defcon-five levels of security to get into, she guessed. Of course, that meant getting internet was a nightmare, but it wasn't like she had a phone to play on anyway.

Some might call her analog. Others would consider the fact she was 20 and under constant house arrest somewhat troubling. She tended to agree with the latter.

“Oh, come on. We do this every time I come to pick her up. I'm pretty sure you know who I am now!”

“I'm sorry, ma'am. Rules are rules.”

The sound of an annoyed Russian lesbian carried over the soft beeps of a metal detector. Andy stood up from her seat and traveled the small distance to where she would meet the woman. At the moment, she was going through the full body scan, glowering at the guard who was mostly used to it by now.

Mostly – they still flinched when she set her gaze on them.

“Having fun, Aunt Miri?” Andy slung her bag over her shoulder as she waited for the all clear sign. Her aunt may not have been the biggest woman physically, but something about her ice white skin and pale blue eyes set people on edge. Add in she looked like she walked straight out of a punk rock concert in the 70's, and well... people tended to not want to mess with her. Mostly. There were still some security guards who didn't know better.

They were so not paid enough for dealing with her.

The woman flashed her a smirk. “Oh, always. Just catching up with Bob here as he deigns to ignore the cavity search.”

“Ma'am, we don't-”

“It's a joke, kid. Don't take it so hard.”

She stomped forward, heels of her thick boots squeaking against the metal floor. Better for disinfecting, but it wasn't like they had much to do there. Andy was glad to meet her in the middle, under the watchful eyes of the guards. Together, they walked through the gate and officially stood on the other side.

Another successful custody hand off between the United States government and her family.

“So, grow anything new since the last time I picked you up?” Miri had dark circles under her eyes that suggested she wasn't getting all the sleep she needed. Given the fact she was awake in the daytime, that was no surprise. When it came to cycles, her aunt preferred the night. Something about it hurt her sensitive eyes less. Of course, she was always there to pick her up... so she had a lot of really cool aunt points to say the least.

Andy nodded as they exited the lab. On the outside, it looked so damn normal that it was hard to believe she spent so much of her time there. Of course, she wasn't sure what it should have looked like. Maybe it should have had a permanent dark cloud hanging over it? Lightning in the background with eerie music?

…

Maybe she watched too many B horror movies. She had a short list of approved media, ok?

“Couple more teeth, but they were focused on my back again.” Andy slid into the passenger seat and watched as her aunt soon joined her. “I don't know what they're looking for, do you?”

Normally, she didn't expect people to answer her when it came to her future – things were weird there. But if anyone knew, it would be Aunt Miri. After all, she had... well, known the one who came before her.

It was hard, thinking about Cass sometimes. Clearly she wasn't the only one who felt that way – Miri's white knuckles got even more ghostly as she gripped the steering wheel. Her entire body looked tense as she started the car to drive off.

Whoops – tactical error.

“Sorry, kid. I can't say I ever saw them without their clothes on.” At a red light she reached over to nudge Andy's shoulder. “Maybe they're expecting you to grow wings or something. Then maybe you could get home yourself one of these days.”

Her shoulders shook with mirth as she playfully waved the woman's hand away. “I'm already weird enough, I don't need wings. Sakamoto would never let me rest if it turns out I can fly. She's still tying to get your spit, by the way.”

Miri smirked as she kept driving. “Well, looks like I'll have to break her heart again. My darling will just have to be disappointed.”

And then she let out a harsh bark of laughter that made her entire body shake. Andy joined her, shoulders twitching as her body moved. She couldn't laugh, but she has long since figured out this was her version of it. While she wasn't sure what actual laughter felt like, this wasn't so bad – almost pleasant even.

The ride calmed down after that as they waded through afternoon traffic out of the city. The summer camps and clubs were out, and the summer college session was right behind them. The streets were alive with people, all of them buzzing with activity. Just watching them made Andy feel light headed. One thing she would never get over was just how many people there were.

So many... and they just went about their day.

At the sight of a girl who could have been her sister's age, she turned to her aunt. “Jen's got a dance thing coming up.”

“I know. It's Friday.” Miri frowned. “I'm not going to be able to make it, kid, I-”

Andy finished for her. “I know, you've got temple. Hopefully Mom or Sara can go for her. Wish I could...”

She leaned against the glass, feeling the vibration through her skull. “Aunt Miri, am I ever going to be let out on my own?”

With her eyes to the glass, Andy didn't get to see her aunt's expression. She did, however, hear an all too familiar beeping coming from the woman's jacket. Miri swore under her breath in Russian as they approached the next red light, and then she started to dig in her pocket.

Two beeps – work was calling.

For the next few moments, Andy didn't move. She couldn't even look at the woman next to her as she grumbled into her communication device. It was a mix of Russian and what sounded like Hebrew, though it might have been something else. After all, Miri had gotten around places before she had settled down in Bear Paw.

“I can't come, Scanner. I have my niece with me and I have to get her home!”

Andy felt her insides jump.

“Seriously, you can't....” Miri grumbled and ran a hand through her short white hair, mussing it so it stuck up in the back. “Shit, are you sure you can't get Richter?”

A few more moments of awkward conversation, before she sighed. “Alright. I'll drive there now. I better get paid double for this.”

And then she shut the communicator off. Andy was aware there was a pair of eyes drilling into the back of her head, but she didn't move. It was the hardest thing she had ever done, including trying to touch her toes.

If she could have, she would have been grinning.

“Before you get any ideas, you're staying in the damn car.” Miri punched in coordinates on her phone and turned onto a new road. “You're not even supposed to be with me when I'm working.”

Andy nodded, feeling like she could float. “Stay in the car, got it.”

Even if it was in the car, she was going. For the first time in her life, she was going to get to watch her aunt work in person. Somehow, her shitty day had just gotten a whole lot better as they continued down the road.

Now... just what were they going to find there?

#Supernova Collision Trilogy #writing #novel

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fanatical-san · 6 years

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So I’ve started the Victuuri fic, called Love Me, Hate Me (And I’ll Crumble), to accompany @crimson-chains‘ absolute god-send of a Mafia AU. The stunning artwork has really helped me produce a little something, whether the writing has turned out shitty, or otherwise.

The blurb! - Trouble between Mafia boss Nikiforov and gang leader JJ has been brewing, and Yuuri knows that it's his duty to discover the identity of and capture Nikiforov. The streets of Italy may never see peace otherwise, and innocent people could be harmed. He particularly wants to protect the charming Victor Plisetsky, who he fell for after saving him from JJ's group. Victor has been told, time and time again, that seducing a cop, of all people, is a tricky business. But anything for his Yuuri, right? And besides, he's got bigger problems to deal with. Like that JJ, who's a constant thorn in his side. He can manage keeping his identity secret and getting rid of JJ. He's a Mafia boss, after all.

@crimson-chains (it’s still jokesequaljoker, I just changed my URL), you are insanely talented, so thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to write this, and I hope you like it - I can’t wait to continue <3

Alternatively, read the first chapter under the cut!

If this is their attempt at an ambush, then Victor is sorely disappointed. It takes him a glance to work out that two men are hidden behind the dumpsters in an attempt to be discreet.

It’s novice, almost; the gradient of the concrete by the right wall of the alleyway is significantly less worn than that on the left side; something must’ve prevented the concrete on the right from eroding (i.e. the dumpster). They can’t’ve expected Victor not to notice, could they?

And besides, having two dumpsters in the far corner is the worst possible idea. No self-respecting shop owner would waste time walking to dumpsters all the way down there when they could bin waste where the path turns off into the alley. Thus, the dumpsters must have been moved together in order to lend enough space for two men (one man could fit behind one dumpster) to hide.

Victor looks at the dumpster directly, and flicks his hair to one side.

“Well, gentlemen? Are you going to introduce yourselves?” No response. “Now, now-” Victor strolls up to the dumpster and pushes them apart with the perfect force, revealing two huddled men (as he’d suspected). “-are we going to have to have a little chat?”

The men yell, and clamber up, launching themselves at Victor. A simple swipe deflects their first three blows. It’s when the second one tries (and fails) to deliver an uppercut that Victor realises: these men aren’t soladato at all.

Victor should be insulted. The rank of the man who throws (and misses) yet another poorly timed punch is an associate; both ambushers are little more than cugines, and consequently mediocre in their attacks, at best. And their attempt at an ambush? Abysmal. He should’ve known. But for JJ to send people who aren’t even properly initiated? Victor thinks that this must be a new low, even for that stuck up Canadian.

And it’s as he’s about to rough them up a little that he hears it; police sirens. The polizia are near – he can’t be seen on the offensive. So he practically has to move his jaw so that the second man can actually hit him, but it impacts harder than he expects. The man’s spurred on by his blow, and attempts a kick, which scrapes Victor’s side. He needs to defend himself, but he has to be cautious. As he tries to calculate the best compromise, the first guy comes up behind him and-

Shit. He’s losing control of the situation.

The sirens are obnoxiously loud, and extremely unnecessary, in Yuuri’s opinion. They might as well announce ‘hey, this is the fucking police, if you’re shifty, get the hell out’ through a megaphone, for all the help it’s doing. How are they meant to catch criminals when they’re giving them a headstart?

Seems those two idiots don’t get it though, Yuuri thinks, as he notices two men blatantly beating up another man. Yuuri can’t exactly see who it is, but the man doesn’t seem to be fighting back. Yuuri’s got help him out, and quick. He swerves the car to the curb and jumps out, striding towards the fight.

“This is the police,” he says in Italian (he doubts these guys know English), “stop – now.”

Turns out they aren’t complete fools; they yelp and scramble away. Yuuri should go after them, but he needs to check the citizen is okay first, so he crouches down and-

Woah. He’s stunning.

Yuuri immediately pushes the thought out of his mind and clears his throat.

“Are you okay, sir?” The man looks at him properly, and Yuuri sees the blood smeared across his face from a bloody nose that he needs to apply pressure to. He rummages through his coat pocket and pulls out a blue handkerchief (it’s the only thing he’s got, currently; it’s going to have to do), holding it out for the man to take.

However, he’s met with a slightly dazed stare, before the man mutters something…in Russian? Is he foreign? Yuuri thinks he hears the word ‘angel’, but that makes no sense in this context, so his Russian must be too rusty to make out the words.

“Sir???”

The man, who’s propped up on his elbows, is actually dressed pretty smartly. An expensive suit jacket slips off his shoulders (he’s got really well-defined collarbones, Yuuri notices as he takes in the man’s loose collar), and the tie does not look cheap, either. All in all, the man seems dishevelled, but there seems to be an air of importance about him.

Yuuri should definitely take a moment to make sure he’s going to be okay. Besides, the assaulters are most likely out of reach for now…right?

So what if Victor is known to over plan? Being prepared is never a bad thing, and Victor must admit that strategizing over how to get his lovely cop to fall for him for only six hours or so was very disciplined of him.

He thinks back to last night, where he’d nursed his limoncello liquor (Sorrento, of course) as thoughts swirled about his mind.

How should I seduce him? he’d pondered. Because that was his goal, after all. Rationality had flown his mind when he’d first seen the handsome cop (and he was aware, somewhere in his love-befuddled head, that getting a cop into bed was reckless. But he didn’t have to worry about that for now); all Victor knew was that he wanted him. And what Victor he wanted, he got.

But the cop had genuinely seemed sweet, too. Victor had been surprised to discover that the physical attraction was only half the appeal for him. He had this urge to get to know the cop better…meaning, of course, that Victor was in love (no matter who told him he was out of his mind).

In the end, it was simple; he’d return the blue handkerchief (adorable), and ask the beautiful man to dinner (in English; Victor could tell that Italian didn’t come very naturally to the cop, and judging by what he’d heard, the man was probably an English speaker to some degree).

However, standing outside the police station, Victor can’t help but feel ever-so-slightly anxious. There’s no time for nerves though; he glimpses the cop coming out of the building and immediately steps in with a sultry gaze and a confident tone.

“Hello,” he says smoothly, producing the handkerchief. “Thank you for your handkerchief yesterday. I’d like to treat you to dinner to show my gratitude.” Perfect, all according to plan. Now all that’s left is for the cop to say yes, fall head over heels, and then they can get to-

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you say something?” he replies, taking out a single earphone. Earphones. He’s wearing earphones? Oh shit. Victor must look really dumb now (and he’s thanking the lord that he at least got the language right – the reply was in English), and now he’s gotta start again but he can’t just reset oh god-

“I!” Victor begins. Okay, okay, he just needs to say thank you…is that what he said before? “Yesterday you helped me so…um-” No, no, no, he’s stuttering! What was he saying again? Fuck it; dinner. Ask about dinner. “please let me buy you dinner!”

The cop looks at him with the most puzzled expression (and still manages to look delectable), to the extent where the phrase ‘ground, swallow me up’ suddenly becomes very relevant for Victor.

“Oh,” the cop says, and Victor’s heart skips a beat. Could he still…? “You don’t have to. I’m always happy to help.” Then, quieter: “It’s my job, after all.”

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! At this rate, they’ll be saying goodbye in a second, parting ways never to speak again, and thus inevitably killing Victor’s poor heart. He has to save this!

“I insist!” It comes out obnoxious and blunt, but at least it’s something. The cop falters.

“Okay – uh,” he begins, and Victor seriously fears that he’s ruined his chances. “Can I get your name?”

His name? Oh. Oh.

Victor feels like such an imbecile. His name – the cop doesn’t even know his name! Well, that’s easy enough.

“Ah, sorry, how rude of me!” he says courteously. “My name is Victor.” He can’t tell the cop his surname, of course, as wonderful as the man may seem. Victor isn’t completely stupid.

“Okay, Victor!” And isn’t it just a stab through the heart to hear those dreamy tones say his name so softly? He wants to make it his ringtone, just to hear that voice say his name again (and he can’t help but imagine that voice saying his name in completely different – and leagues more pleasurable – situation…). “I’m Yuuri Katsuki!”

The blonde Yuri won’t like that, but then again, he doesn’t like anything, so perhaps that’s not too bad (and besides, this name is different, elongated. He likes it). Yuuri Katsuki. Japanese, perhaps. It fits him. Victor smiles, and on impulse, reaches for Yuuri’s hand.

“Then…” he says in an almost whisper, kissing Yuuri’s soft hand briefly, “Allow me to take care of you this evening, Yuuri…”

He looks up, notices Yuuri’s shocked blush, and blanches.

Oh, god. Has he messed it up again? Already? Was that too much? He’s smiling, so that’s fine, right? Victor has to believe it.

In hindsight, this may be a little harder than expected…but his angelic cop has said yes to him, and Victor’s determined to seduce him to the best of his abilities.

#yuri!!! on ice #yuri on ice #victuuri #victuuri mafia au #crimson-chains #victor nikiforov #yuuri katsuki #mafia boss victor #policeman yuuri #jay writes fics #fanfic #victuuri fanfic #victuuri fanfiction #fanatical-san

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artificialqueens · 7 years

Text

Cupid’s Blind Arrow (Group Fic) Prologue - Ginger Nut

AN: Hi everyone so this is my first fic ever, it will be loosely based on the story of Romeo and Juliet, but this prologue is just introducing all of the main characters and how I want to portray them, there will be side characters I just haven’t included them in this. I’m still a bit unsure on what ship to centre the idea around so forgive me if i play about with a few for the next couple of chapters.Pronouns used are mainly she/her and sometimes they/them. I got this idea as I’m currently studying this play at school and I would want to read something like this, I’m really excited planning all of this out so please let me know what you think! I’m very open to feedback as I know I’m not the best writer, trust me my English teacher has told me, but I’ve tried really hard because not gonna lie I need an escape rn and this blog gives me life

“A glooming piece this morning with it brings;

The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:

Go hence to have more talk of these sad things:

Some shall be pardon’d and some punished:

For there never was a story of more woe

Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”

“Well then class that is the end of the play, we have finally finished the first reading of Romeo and Juliet.” Miss Raja tone was monotonous despite her inner self feeling a sense of relief considering it had felt like a chore to even pick this play up as every time she did her students gave an audible groan in protest.

“What do you mean the first reading, you only need to read it once” Someone from the back corner interjected however the teacher didn’t even need to look up to know who it was,

“Willam I’m surprised you think that you’ve read it once considering most often times than not you’re leaning against the wall with your eyes and book closed.” Willam Belli surprised everyone when she showed up to the honours English class and hadn’t walked into the wrong room. She never took anything seriously and didn’t apply herself to any of her classes. Secretly however, that had changed towards the end of last term as exams were on the rise. Her mum had hired her a tutor and it just so happens that Willam became head over heels for her, only secretly though, no one could know that Willam Belli had a crush. It just wasn’t her brand; guys lusted after her and girls loved her, Willam preferred to be single at all times, no commitment no issues. But for some reason she just couldn’t forget the blonde Australian who taught her about imagery, persuasive techniques, and poetic tones. Oh, and by the way, the beautiful aussie, named Courtney, became more than just a tutor. Their time together was short due to Courtney’s exchange programming expiring but Willam came out on top, scoring almost perfect in many of her exams….and in other ways.

“Nuh uh,” Willam looked at Miss Raja wearing a face that was a mixture of offense and boredom. “They meet, fall in love, find out they’re from feuding families and kill themselves to be dead together. Ya know “happy dagger and all that shit””

Miss Raja didn’t bat an eye at Willam’s language, at this point in the game she’d heard it all and was more interested at her participation than anything else.

Just at that the bell for 3rd period rang, and the stampede of students started to flow into the river of people in the corridor. Miss Raja started to collect in copies of the play as she felt weight being lifted off her shoulders, this class had to be the most challenging; Aside from the infamous vain character that is Willam, her class was full of huge personalities and Raja had no clue how this year was going to pan out, she groaned at the thought of it. Violet Chachki she thought as she picked the copy of the play off her desk, a prestigious yet intimidating student who had extremely high standards and walked the halls as if everyone disgusted her, you did not want to disappoint Violet. Her signature feature being a small a waist as Willam attention span, she also had an amazing eye for fashion and almost always showed up at school with an outfit that was coordinated head to toe. Raja admired her determination; that girl could achieve anything she set her mind to which is why she consistently turns in exceptional work on independent tasks. Next to Violet sat Bianca Del Rio, brutal honesty being her forefront and her over it attitude certainly contradicted her eagerness to participate in discussion which she usually took over from Miss Raja. Before you know it, Bianca was educating the whole class instead and Raja would sit back and let her go for it. As miss raja scanned the class she picked up the 3 copies belonging to the more laid back, chilled students in the back row: Right in the back corner was Pearl Liason, Pearl had only moved to the school a couple of months before summer which gave her a disadvantage regarding a social life, most of the kids had been going to the same school as each other their whole life. Pearl didn’t seem to mind though any time Raja had been on school lunch monitor duty, her dreaded day of the week, she noticed Pearl sitting at the end of a table with headphones in and usually doing homework or something of that sorts, sometimes she had a sketch pad out. A thought emerged, Raja believed that her and Violet would be good friends considering their arty, creative interests, maybe they worked together in a fashion or media class, but Raja never dared to get any closer to find out what was on Pearls paper. She just felt weird doing so, even though it’d probably be more interesting than listening to Miss Sanchez’s stories of her son or Miss Imfurst’s rages over her classes. Pearl was a more reserved student, that’s just how she was, nevertheless she got on with her work occasionally getting into trouble for smelling of cigarettes or weed as she came into class with the other back row students. In the middle sat Adore Delano, a grunge rocker who had an abysmal at best attendance record, but a raw talent that Miss Raja longed to see all the time, but it was hard fucking work. Adore preferred to talk than listen, write than read. Raja understood that, her mind produced some really wonderful things but examiners won’t ask you about the origin of life and importance of spirituality. Surprisingly Adore got on well with Bianca who sat immediately in front of her; they were polar opposites but somehow had an undeniable connection. Raja couldn’t keep herself from laughing sometimes at the things they came up with and their dynamic. Completing the back row was none other than Sharon Needles, Sharon had smart moments but for the most part Raja wondered how she managed to get into this class. She had a no fucks given vibe and for that reason she rarely turned any work in. Sharon didn’t do much work in class in fact she didn’t really do anything. She spent most of her time listening to Adore ramble on, engraving shit like “Andy Warhol is dead” onto her desk or staring out of the window looking like she was in love with the rain. The leather biker looks raised some eyebrows but on the inside Sharon was really goofy and a big softy. Raja could’ve sworn she’d caught Sharon gazing at one of the girls in the front row, but could not place her finger on who. Across the room Willam sat at the other back row alongside a few other students who Willam found pleasure in angering. One of them however seemed to enjoy her witty and usually narcissistic comments, and that was a Russian born gymnast called Katya. Raja had given up with her real name after less than one class. Katya had a weird sense of humour, that’s for sure but found Willam out of all people hilariously funny even when the joke was aimed at her. Katya’s work consisted mainly of historical events that had modern day twists, she had a weird thing for futuristic Barbie’s and it never failed to bore Raja. Making her way back down to the front row she guided past Alaska Thunderfuck scooping up her copy of the play. Alaska was actually quite intellectual; however, her class work was always to a much higher standard than her home assignments, Raja wondered what the fuck is that girl doing outside of school, who are her friends? Alaska insisted that she had a busy life, which one may be lead to believe. The girl was a cheerleader and featured in many of the school events such as the musicals. And finally, next to Alaska sat Trixie Mattel. Trixie’s personality and hair lit up the room, like Alaska, Trixie was a cheerleader and often came to class in uniform. Trixie was an ideal student, she always showed up on time to class, did her work, completed all homework, and scored pretty high in all class tests. Raja had no worries with her, god forbid she got into a relationship.

Miss Raja just noticed a pounding headache coming on as she proceeded to read the rest of the requirements for the Romeo and Juliet section; “Class must have a discussion on whether the plot of the play was a cautionary tale regarding the stupidity of youth and lust or a beautiful tragedy where poisonous hatred can be conquered by love.” Fucking hell, thought Raja. Class discussions are a waste of time. She scrolled down, the next requirement was a nine-point essay on why Romeo was a character created to evoke sympathy in the reader. Class discussion it is.

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omgkatsudonplease · 7 years

Note

You asked for it. When the Scot Ties The Knot AU. 😜

okay, bit of background. we were talkin in discord about scottish twitter, which then transmuted into a talk about scottish romance novels, and then i brought up the greatest romance novel premise i’ve ever heard of: when a scot ties the knot by tessa dare. i’ve never actually read this book besides the back cover and some choice passages from my friend @galpaladvns who got it for her birthday or smth (all i really remember from that night was @funnythingsandphysics hunting through the pages for the smut which apparently took ¾ths of the book to get to?) but basically….. what happens next is the rough premise of the book, but viktuuri. and (very heavily winged) historical, because @kazliin and i are in agreement that there should be more period drama viktuuri anyway

When a Russian is Rushin’ to Marry: Or, the Unexpected Consequences of Inventing a Boyfriend

“I’m so jealous of you,” Phichit laments as he helps Yuuri get ready for the evening’s events. “I remember my first season like it was yesterday. Everything’s so exciting and bright your first time around; I wish I could experience it again!”

Yuuri says nothing, only turns slightly to watch the way the light catches on his blue brocade waistcoat in the mirror. “I don’t know,” he admits after a moment. “I’m probably going to be dreadfully old, especially in comparison to young Mr Plisetsky who’s also debuting this season.”

“Well, sometimes people like a late bloomer,” Phichit chides, patting his forearm. “Now turn, so I can help with your ascot.”

Yuuri lets him adjust the silken material with a weary sigh. He’d been putting off his entrance into society for as long as could be deemed socially acceptable, mostly for his nerves. But with each passing season, his parents would get more and more concerned that he wouldn’t marry and settle down, and eventually he’d caved. Tonight’s soiree would mark his debut, and it was about as quiet an affair as he could manage. Still, the thought of being approached tonight with potential suitors continues to threaten to overwhelm him at any given moment.

“Deep breaths, Yuuri,” Phichit offers kindly as he pats at his now properly-tied ascot. “You’re going to be just fine.”

“You sound more confident about this than I feel,” Yuuri retorts. Phichit helps him into his tailcoat with a grin.

“You’re a divine dancer, Yuuri,” he points out. “Who could say no to you?”

As it turns out, Phichit is right. Overwhelmingly, terrifyingly right.

Yuuri almost runs out to the back patio right after concluding yet another dance with yet another pretty girl whose name he can’t remember. Collapsing onto a bench, he takes a couple deep breaths before consulting his watch. Groaning, he puts it away, and dabs at a couple beads of sweat threatening to pool on his forehead. Had it really been just thirty minutes into this entire affair? He feels like his collar is going to strangle him. He’ll never last the night.

“Mr Katsuki?” Yuuri looks up to see one of the girls he had danced with poised at the entrance back into the house.

“…Miss Crispino, right?” he asks. She nods, coming out and stopping just a couple feet shy of him.

“May I?” she asks, gesturing to the space on the bench next to him. Yuuri nods, and Miss Crispino sits down next to him, kicking off her slippers as she does so. Yuuri makes no comment, only fiddles with his handkerchief.

They sit like that for a moment, and then Miss Crispino speaks up again.

“It’s ridiculous, isn’t it?”

Yuuri nods, not looking at her. He dimly hears her sigh.

“This is the only time I’ve managed to get to myself. My brother has appointed himself as my chaperone for the season and it’s been impossible to shake him.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Yuuri says. “Should I consider it a miracle he let you dance with me?”

“Yes,” she says simply. “He vets all of my suitors, even though I told him it was none of his business.”

Yuuri nods. Miss Crispino sighs again.

“Don’t tell him I was out here alone with you,” she requests after a moment. “I just needed some fresh air.”

“I don’t think I know your brother,” Yuuri remarks, “so there’s no danger there.”

She laughs. Yuuri looks over at her, at the light purple frock she’s wearing and the elegant chignon her black hair is twisted in, and smiles.

“Are you debuting this year?” he asks.

She shakes her head. “I’ve been here for a while,” she says, with a sigh. “My brother is convinced Mr Nekola of Anastasis is intent on courting me. He doesn’t know I’ve already accepted someone else’s hand.”

“Oh,” says Yuuri. “Congratulations.”

She smiles. “You’re welcome.” And then, a pause. “What about you, then? Any tempting choices tonight?”

Yuuri shrugs. “No,” he admits. And he’s not sure what possesses him to say the next couple of lines, but they’re tumbling out of his mouth before he can even stop himself. “But then I suppose it’s a bit hard when I already have a fiance who lives out of the country.”

He sees Miss Crispino’s eyes and mouth widen in shock. “Really!” she exclaims. “Who?”

Yuuri swallows. “You wouldn’t know him,” he lies, casting around him for ideas of a country of origin. But then he sees Mr Plisetsky pass by in the house, and the word ‘Russia’ is tumbling out of his lips before he even realises it. “He lives in Russia.”

Over the next couple of days, Yuuri develops this imaginary Russian fiance.

Firstly, he is a handsome, much sought-after man in Saint Petersburg. He plays violin, and dances as elegantly as the sylphs of the Bolshoi. In fact, Yuuri had first encountered him on a trip to London, when they had sat next to one another while watching the touring ballerinas.

Secondly, he is of the House of Nikiforov, and his father’s name is Yakov.

And thirdly, but most importantly, he is absolutely devoted to Yuuri, and Yuuri is absolutely devoted to him, which is why he’ll dance with everyone, of course, but marriage is definitely off the table. Without question.

Phichit sighs and rolls his eyes when Yuuri shows him sketches of his imaginary Russian beau. Yuuri likes to think he’s not completely abysmal when it comes to his skills at drawing, but he suspects Phichit’s sighs have nothing to do with the artistry of the piece, but rather the concept behind it.

“You don’t need to go to so much trouble to cover up the fact that you’re just not interested in marriage,” he points out.

Yuuri sighs, and adds a couple more highlights to the curtain of hair falling in his imaginary fiance’s eyes. “Do you think this would make for a good miniature for my watch?” he asks.

“Yuuri.” He feels Phichit take a seat beside him. “Come on. No one’s expecting you to actually choose a spouse by the end of the season. Why can’t you just have fun without worrying about that?”

“Unless I make it apparent that I’m spoken for, then people won’t stop,” Yuuri states. He puts aside the drawing, and takes out the letter he’s also been drafting to Mr Nikiforov. When he looks over at Phichit, the man’s eyes are wide.

“You’re writing letters to him, too?”

“To keep up the authenticity,” replies Yuuri, feeling his cheeks heat up. “I – I just feel better making people think I have someone already instead of having to listen to people work their way around ‘I’m not interested’, you know?”

“I don’t,” Phichit states. But then Yuuri wouldn’t have expected anything different – Phichit is a social butterfly, and has never had to live with something as muddling and as terrifying as Yuuri’s brain can be sometimes.

Yuuri reads over his letter again, adding in a couple tweaks here and there. Next to him, Phichit watches him with concern emanating from his every pore.

“Yuuri,” Phichit says after a moment. “Just don’t get too carried away, okay?”

Yuuri nods. “I won’t,” he promises.

My Dearest Niki,

I cannot believe it has been months since I saw you last. Each day stretches out into an eternity. I only hope you are doing well in Saint Petersburg, for the only thing that gives me solace is the promise of more letters from you.

I remember most fondly the afternoons we spent in London walking through Hyde Park, boating along the Thames. You had the loveliest laugh, and the most childlike wonder at all of the sights and sounds of the city. You told me it reminded you of your home in Saint Petersburg, especially when the gulls cry along the promenade. Even now when we are parted, I hold these memories close to my heart to keep me warm, like flickering candle flames.

Please return to me soon, my dearest. The season is drawing to a close, and as the days get shorter and colder I do not wish to have only memories to keep me warm. I would like nothing more than for you to stay close to me, and never go.

With all of my heart,

Your Yuuri

“What was that about getting too carried away?” Phichit demands, several parties later, as Yuuri adjusts the black crepe of his tie.

“If people think I’m in mourning, they’ll leave me in peace for the rest of the season.”

“And you think I’m going to tell everyone that your infamous Mr Nikiforov has suffered a terrible accident in Saint Petersburg and is now dead.”

Yuuri laughs, a little drily. “He’s imaginary, Phichit,” he points out. “We haven’t really killed anyone off here.”

There’s a sudden knock at the door. Yuuri calls for the person to enter. His butler comes in looking extremely flustered and short of breath, as if he had ran all the way up the stairs.

“Mr Katsuki, Mr Katuski!” he exclaims, before gasping.

“Morooka!” Yuuri exclaims, waiting patiently for his butler to recover himself. Morooka heaves one final breath before straightening up again, his eyes wide.

“Mr Katsuki, there is a Mr Nikiforov waiting for you downstairs in the drawing room.”

Yuuri blinks. “What,” he states. Phichit’s expression lights up.

“Really!” he exclaims, sending a gleeful glance towards Yuuri. Morooka nods.

“He says he has something of grave import to discuss with you.”

Yuuri feels ice settling into the base of his stomach. Evidently the real Mr Nikiforov is angered that Yuuri has been writing love letters to him out of some mad desire to avoid the pressures of society, and has come to tell him to cease and desist. He fiddles with his gloves, and then grabs his tie and tugs it free in an instant.

“Tell him I’ll be down in a moment,” he says. Morooka bows, and departs. Yuuri sinks down onto a stool, and Phichit snickers.

“I told you so,” his dear traitorous friend gloats. Yuuri sends him a withering glare.

“I’ll – I’ll go and apologise to him,” he says. “And we’ll stop this entire mess by killing off the other Mr Nikiforov anyway.”

“About time,” replies Phichit. Yuuri straightens his collar, hoping Mr Nikiforov will excuse his lack of neck accessory at the moment, and leads the way out the door with a stiff bravado he certainly doesn’t feel.

Morooka meets him at the drawing room door. “He’s through there, sir,” he says. Yuuri nods. His butler opens the door, and then Phichit is practically herding him over the threshold.

The room is empty save for them and a silver-haired figure at the mantelpiece. Yuuri clears his throat, and the man turns around, fixing him with a blinding smile. He looks exactly like he’d just stepped off one of Yuuri’s drawings, handsome with his fringe lightly brushing over one of his brilliant blue eyes. Yuuri feels his heartbeat pick up just at the sight of him.

“Yuuri!” the man exclaims, extending a hand. “I am Viktor Nikiforov, your fiance!”

Yuuri immediately swoons to the ground.

#viktuuri #victuuri #lily's dabbles #when the scot ties the knot au #i cannot believe i have to write that #when a russian is rushin to marry #history rover #ask #there's a readmore for those on mobile

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yeskraim · 4 years

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NASA’s Koch: After 328 days in space, extensive tests await her – Aljazeera.com

As NASA astronaut Christina Koch waves goodbye to the International Space Station, with its spectacular views and microgravity after a record-setting stay of 328 days in space, new challenges await her.

Once back on the ground, Koch will provide researchers with a window into how the human body copes – or does not – with prolonged periods in space and then readapts to Earth’s gravity.

“I’m definitely looking forward to being on the same planet as everybody else very soon,” Koch said on Tuesday in a news conference.

She said: “For me, one of the things I’m really looking forward to is seeing the plasma go by on the window when we’re actually doing reentry and the Gs are starting to hit. I think that will really make it feel real that I’m actually coming back from space.”

While her time in microgravity may be over, her journey as part of the NASA astronaut corps, however, is far from finished and it does not necessarily include more space flight.

Researchers at NASA’s Human Research Program say Koch is about to join those who have gone before and contribute her physiological data to support and improve the critical element that will make crewed missions to Mars possible: the human system. Whoever is finally chosen to go, will endure roughly 500 days of spaceflight just to reach the red planet.

A soft landing is still hard

Koch’s new challenges start when she lands at 4:14am US east-coast time (09:14 GMT).

NASA astronaut Christina Koch preparing to exit the International Space Station for her spacewalk. Nausea, vomiting and trouble standing up can accompany an astronaut’s return to Earth [October 18, 2019: NASA]

“The process of recovery begins right away. And it doesn’t start out particularly pretty,” Jennifer Fogarty, chief scientist at NASA’s Human Research Program, told Al Jazeera.

She said that for anyone returning from having lived and worked in space for any length of time of more than a few months, let alone almost a year “is so provocative”.

What Koch and her crewmates will feel when they again enter the earth’s gravity is significant disorientation of their vestibular system – the sensors inside our ears that tell us which way is up – and a gravity-induced rush of blood away from their heads to their toes.

Fogarty said: “They’re going to have trouble standing. They’re going to have trouble turning their heads. They’re going to be so motion sick they’re going to vomit. At a minimum, they are going to be incredibly nauseous. And you know anytime they have that, it disrupts [their] ability to think. Right? It is not an easy experience to feel so not well, but have to function.”

Even more challenging, especially in the months to come is the fact that despite regular advanced resistance exercises on the ISS, her back, leg and arms muscles have not worked as hard as they would have here on earth.

“I haven’t actually put my feet down or walked in a long time,” Koch said.

About her return to Earth she said: “You suddenly have to work to raise your arms and of course your legs … I think that will definitely be something to get used to. I haven’t had to hold up even my own body weight in some time.”

No easy stroll home

While Koch and her crewmates may be incapacitated on touchdown, they are landing in Kazakhstan, not on far-away Mars. They will first be greeted and cared for by the highly experienced Russian search-and-rescue forces.

Fogarty explained that while search-and-rescue officers initially move very quickly to open the capsule’s hatch, after that, all onward movement slows down to a methodical crawl. The officers will get into the spacecraft and slowly lift each astronaut out of their seat and the craft to a lawn chair.

She said, once in the chairs the astronauts are slowly taken to safety to a reception point to give them a chance to get their bearings and a satellite phone to call home. They then proceed to a medical tent to measure how well their bodies and minds are coping with feeling abysmally ill and adjusting to gravity.

Dr Scott Dulchavsky, the Human Research Program’s principal investigator told Al Jazeera, “As soon as they’re verified that ‘you’re stable’, blood pressure and things like that, they get packaged into a jet and get whisked back to Houston. [Christina] will be home in half a day.”

“And then a whole pile of experiments get done, looking at how responsive your physiology is, to how quickly you can correct,” he said.

Dulchavsky said that at the top of the list are tests focusing on vertebral health – spines can stretch as much as three inches in microgravity – and cardiovascular function, particularly how the heart is responding to gravity. These tests are time-sensitive because the heart and spine will quickly adapt back to gravity, with the spine returning to its original length.

A lot of astronauts complain of having back and joint pain once on the ground. Dulchavsky and Fogarty stress that the pace and ability of each astronaut to bounce back is different.

Why this matters for Mars

All this immediate poking and prodding Koch will endure along with performing tasks will add to the research necessary for NASA to land its first astronauts on Mars by 2033, without the rescue crews to receive them some 54.6 million kilometres from home.

NASA astronaut Christina Koch [October 18, 2019: NASA]

Fogarty told Al Jazeera: “This is helping us understand what kind of resources and what kind of vehicle design will the Mars landing require for people who do not have assistance.

“How can the crew recover and take care of themselves and each other during a 24- to 48-hour period where things are kind of the roughest? But they also have to learn how to rehabilitate themselves to get functional,” she said.

She said that while 13 years may seem like a long time, in terms of research and engineering a post-landing vehicular solution it is really not much time at all. What is more, because there have not been that many astronauts who have been in space for longer than six months – let alone a year – the volume of knowledge on the effects of long-long-duration spaceflight is fairly slim.

“We’re in the midst of also taking our data, translating it to the engineers and the technology specialists who are off designing the vehicle for the mission itself,” Fogarty said. “It’s been very much engineering, vehicle- centric, since Apollo. We’ve worked very hard to get the human recognised as a system.”

The post NASA’s Koch: After 328 days in space, extensive tests await her – Aljazeera.com appeared first on Gadgets To Make Life Easier.

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thisdaynews · 5 years

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I sat through 6 hours of town halls. Here’s what I learned about impeachment.

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/i-sat-through-6-hours-of-town-halls-heres-what-i-learned-about-impeachment/

I sat through 6 hours of town halls. Here’s what I learned about impeachment.

Many of those same Republicans — who lived for nearly five decades under GOP Reps. Henry J. Hyde and Peter Roskam — had never had a Democratic representative in their lifetime.

But even more than that, they never thought that this particular Democrat would be leaning so forcefully into an impeachment inquiry against a Republican president.

Casten is among those who’ve been dubbed “frontliners” by their party — freshman Democrats whose victories last year were a hallmark of the blue wave that wiped out suburban GOP incumbents and who face uphill re-election battles in 2020. Many frontliners tend to tiptoe around the politically thorny issues of the day like impeachment, knowing that their stance could make them a one-term lawmaker and, in turn, cause Democrats to lose their House majority.

Casten has chosen a different route.

The soft-spoken lawmaker was one of the first vulnerable Democrats to come out in support of an impeachment inquiry. And despite the political risks, he is embracing it more than anyone on Capitol Hill right now.

Casten, a 47-year-old former energy executive who ran on climate change, is a relatively unknown entity in Washington. He shuns the limelight and isn’t a fixture on cable news like some of his fellow freshmen. But here in his C-shaped district west of Chicago, he has put himself in the spotlight more than any other first-term Democrat — in part because he knows it won’t be easy to win again here in 2020.

When I met up with him for an interviewon Saturday morning, he had done 13 town hall events since taking office in January. By 8:30 p.m., that number stood at 19, after a grueling day crisscrossing the bellwether district and taking voters’ questions for six hours.

Over the summer recess, Casten held a town hall event focused exclusively on impeachment. Before lawmakers left Washington for the six-week break, he implored his fellow freshmen during a closed-door meeting to hold similar events. They all thought he was crazy.

But in some respects, that was to be expected for someone who came out in support of an impeachment inquiry against Trump in June. In fact, he was one of the first frontliners — along with Reps. Tom Malinowski (D-N.J.) and Katie Porter (D-Calif.) — to back such a process.

When they were preparing to go public, the three of them asked to meet withSpeaker Nancy Pelosi. They wanted to give her the courtesy, Casten said, because their support of formal impeachment proceedings had the potential to muddy Pelosi’s cautious strategy at the time.

“To her credit, she said, ‘You don’t need my permission; you just need to do the right thing for you,’” Casten told me, about the previously unreported meeting.

Pelosi stuck to her “investigate, legislate, litigate” strategy even as a majority of her caucus was supporting an impeachment inquiry. At the time, it was special counsel Robert Mueller’s report on Russian interference in the 2016 election — and evidence he uncovered showing that Trump sought to obstruct the probe — that was driving Democrats to support formal proceedings.

It wasn’t until an entirely different scandal surfaced that Pelosi decided to finally embrace an impeachment inquiry. In the less than two weeks since she formalized the impeachment process, House investigators are rapidly intensifying their efforts to highlight what Democrats say is damning evidence that Trump abused his office to solicit foreign assistance to dig up dirt on his political rivals.

The end of September was an inconvenient time for lawmakers to leave Washington for a two-week recess, just days after Pelosi formalized the House’s impeachment inquiry and investigators began collecting evidence and subpoenaing witnesses in earnest. So it presented Casten and other vulnerable Democrats with a challenge as they face the music from voters back home.

At each of his events on Saturday, Casten emphasized what he called the “somberness of this moment.”

“If you, in your head, would celebrate impeachment or would celebrate exoneration, you’ve got to straighten out your head,” he said. “There’s nothing to celebrate about the moment that we’re in.”

“We have been forced into this by the circumstances,” he added.

After a grueling stretch listening to voters grill Casten, here’s what I learned about Democrats’ months-long trod toward impeachment proceedings.

You can’t move public opinion toward impeachment if you don’t embrace it.

For Casten, theJune meeting with Pelosi was prescient. He told the speaker that the polling on impeachment — which was abysmal at the time — was irrelevant to him until Democrats had a united front convincing the public that impeachment would be worth looking at.

“I can’t get out there and educate the voters if they say, ‘Well, given all of this stuff, why aren’t you in favor of starting the impeachment process?’” Casten said. “I said, well, basically, I want to get out to a point where I can educate the voters — and so that was really my motivation for coming out, because I wanted to be some force of education.”

Casten backed impeachment proceedings on June 20. Over the next three months, Pelosi stuck to her strategy, even as more of her Democratic colleagues broke ranks. The polling on impeachment remained stagnant — until two weeks ago, when the speaker reacted swiftly to Trump’s admission that he asked President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraineto investigate former Vice President Joe Biden, Trump’s potential opponent in the 2020 election.

“What we’ve seen over the last couple weeks is that once the party gets behind this, the polls move,” Casten said. “Because at the end of the day, I think people are generally more motivated by truth than lies. But we haven’t been out there telling that story.”

Pelosi’s critics — particularly those on the progressive left who have been girding for impeachment proceedings since the day Mueller’s report was released — have touched on similar arguments in recent months to make the case that public support for impeachment wouldn’t magically grow through House Judiciary Committee hearings on the legalese surrounding obstruction of justice. They accused Democratic leaders in particular of dithering as they failed to sustain momentum amid the White House’s all-out blockade of subpoenas seeking documents and witness testimony, forcing House Democrats into the arduous and slow federal court system to seek compliance.

In the end, though, it took an entirely different scandal to get Pelosi to “yes” — one that has united Democrats in outrage and one that is markedly easier to portray as an impeachable offense.

“I find in this job, you can do the work in Washington. But you really can’t move public opinion very much,” Casten told me. “When you’re in the district, you’re not voting on stuff, you’re not going into committee hearings. But you can move public opinion.”

“So the bully pulpit that I have is much more effective in the district than nationally right now,” he said.

In the meantime, Democrats are trying — with varying degrees of success — to push back on Trump’s unproven claims about Biden’s efforts to remove a controversial Ukrainian prosecutor, and the president’s fixation on a debunked theory that Ukraine, not Russia, interfered in the 2016 election.

At five of Casten’s six town halls on Saturday, he was pressed on those claims.

Trump’s claims about Biden are resonating among his political base.

This one may come as no shocker, since the president’s base of voters has remained loyal to him through scandal after scandal, transgression after transgression.

But Trump’s efforts to paint Biden as corrupt for trying to oust a prosecutor who at one point was investigating a company tied to his son Hunter appeared to resonate among his supporters who attended Casten’s town halls — some of whom were wearing “Make America Great Again” hats and “Trump 2020” t-shirts.

Casten was prepared for those inquiries. Right off the bat at his first town hall here, a woman tore into Pelosi and Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.), the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, accusing them of “lying their little butts off” and saying that a whistleblower’s complaint about Trump’s interactions with Ukraine’s president “looks like a bunch of 13-year-old girls gossiping.”

At an event later in the day in Bartlett, Ill., a constituent asked Casten why he wasn’t condemning Biden’s actions.

In both instances, Casten spoke for more than five minutes about the nitty-gritty of the claims Trump and his allies have made about Biden. He unapologetically declared that there was “no ‘there’ there on the Biden story,” and after hearing a question about the unsubstantiated theory that Ukraine was responsible for meddling in the 2016 election, he told the voter that she was espousing a “deep-down-the-rabbit-hole, crazy conspiracy theory.”

Casten’s posture toward impeachment comes with real political risks.

Republicans have lost significant ground in districts like Casten’s in the Trump era — districts that were once the anchor of the GOP. The party has struggled to retain support among suburban moderates, women and minorities in particular, and in 2018 the GOP lost many of these seats in the suburbs of Philadelphia, Chicago and Los Angeles.

Republicans’ strategy for winning back the House in 2020 is to tie Democrats like Casten to the more progressive voices in his party and make the case that they are too extreme for their districts — from their support for impeachment to their rhetoric about the president.

So even though Democrats like Casten are confident in their pushback against Trump and his allies, the terrain in historically conservative districts like this one remains fraught with political landmines — ones that Casten tacitly acknowledged, even as he tore into Trump on issues completely unrelated to impeachment.

“If the president screwed up, at the end of the day he’s got to be gone,” Steven Wood told me after confronting Casten as he was leaving his town hall in Fox River Grove, Ill.

But Wood remains convinced that Trump did nothing wrong, and he took issue with the way Casten described the president’s claims about Biden, in particular his declarative statement that Trump and his supporters are “actively suppressing facts.” I witnessed the heated exchange, during which Wood and his wife accused Casten of cheapening the political discourse when he derided Trump’s immigration policies as “racist” and referred to Trump’s claims about Biden as “crackpot conspiracy theories.”

“People who ignore their morals and their ethics in order to support something or ignore the facts to support a reprehensible morality, I’m not going to pretend to — ” Casten told Wood as a staffer intervened to whisk him away to his next town hall.

Casten later told me that he’s unapologetic about both his stances and his rhetoric because anything else would be a betrayal to his true self. At the same time, though, he risks alienating Republicans who might otherwise support him.

“The partisan affiliation of the district is massively less relevant than the morality of the district,” Casten said. “I voted for George H.W. Bush. I voted for Bob Dole. I don’t think my morals have changed. But I don’t think those individuals are very well represented by the existing elected members of the Republican Party.”

“I would rather,” he added,“be a politician who says, these are my non-negotiables, and if you like it, vote for me, and if you don’t like it, don’t vote for me, than someone who says I’ll be morally ambiguous and I’ll just blow back and forth to wherever the public goes. Because that ain’t me.”

However, Casten made some implicit overtures to Republicans each time he was confronted over the Ukraine scandal. At nearly all of the six town halls, he said there was at least one area in which Trump had done a better job than Barack Obama: his willingness to arm the Ukrainians with lethal defensive weapons as they fight back against Russia’s aggressive incursions into Eastern Europe.

Despite impeachment fervor, voters still care about policy agendas.

Impeachment is all-consuming on cable news and in the national press — and for good reason. But many liberal voters across Illinois’ 6th Congressional District, while supportive of the impeachment effort, don’t want policy priorities like gun control and climate change to take a back seat. At one of the town halls, impeachment didn’t come up even once.

Gun-control legislation is still languishing amid Trump’s apparent opposition to tightening background checks; the U.S.-Mexico-Canada trade agreement remains stalled amid negotiations with House Democrats; and lawmakers have yet to act on bipartisan, comprehensive immigration reform.

It’s a reflection of Pelosi’s long-held view that Democrats won control of the House in 2018 not because of impeachment, but because of their focus on kitchen-table issues like health care. Pelosi often reminds her members that they can walk and chew gum at the same time.

To be sure, at four of the six town halls, voters spent the majority of the session asking about issues related to impeachment. It’s exactly what Casten expected, and he came prepared.

Everybody loves hammering the media.

Casten doesn’t call the press “fake news” or the “enemy of the people.” But at each town hall event, he singled out the national news media for portraying what he sees as a false narrative of what happens in Washington.

It’s a common refrain at town halls across America — rural or urban, liberal or conservative, rich or poor.

Casten knocked the media for what he sees as a portrayal of the Democratic Party as being controlled by the more progressive voices like Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) and others who, he quipped, “have more Twitter followers than me.”

He made the point that Democrats won back the House not because of lawmakers like Ocasio-Cortez who ran to the left of incumbents,but because of the 39 freshman Democrats who flipped Republican-held districts and tend to be centrists.

“The part that I wish got more coverage,” Casten told me when I asked about his media criticisms, “is the fact that there is such massive ideological diversity in the Democratic Party, that it’s a big enough tent to accommodate from AOC and Bernie Sanders out to Dan Lipinski and Joe Manchin, and it means that on almost every policy conversation we’re having, the policy debate is happening in the Democratic Party.”

“On the other side of the aisle, you have from Peter King to Steve King,” Casten said, referring to two well-known Republican congressmen, the latter of whom has been shunned by his party for racist rhetoric. “They all sing from the same hymnal because they only own one book. The era when the Republican Party was really engaged in ideas is gone.”

At a town hall in Sleepy Hollow, Ill., a 69-year-old man pressed Casten to “push back on these crazies,” referring to the progressive “squad” of Ocasio-Cortez and Reps. Ayann Pressley (D-Mass.), Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) and Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich.). In Glen Ellyn, Ill., another man confronted Casten about Omar’s comments about Jewish people, which were criticized as being anti-Semitic.

Casten drew applause whensaid that while he condemns “horribly inappropriate” remarks from members of his own party, “we are far too quick to condemn hatred when it comes out of a brown woman in a head scarf than we are when it comes out the mouth of a white supremacist.”

Casten might not like how those dynamics are portrayed on cable news, but his exchanges with voters who support the president almost felt like the heated cable news segments that sometimes go viral. Americans are having the same arguments at the local level, and it’s yet another reflection of how polarized the political climate has become.

#Foreign #impeachment #learned #Politics

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theconservativebrief · 6 years

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The age of “fake news” is coming for film criticism.

The new Gotti, which stars John Travolta as the infamous mob boss, seems like a solid contender for the title of worst movie of the year. Technically, it premiered at Cannes — if by “premiered” you mean “had a screening almost no press attended in the smallest theater at the Palais” — and garnered abysmal reviews from the critics who were there.

It then screened for a very small set of critics (I was not invited to any screenings), who found it so awful that it wound up with the rare 0 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes and a damning-by-faint-praise 24 on Metacritic.

But the film’s marketers have fought back, launching an offensive that doesn’t just suggest but outright accuses critics of mounting a coordinated hit on the movie.

In all likelihood, it’s just a marketing tactic for a silly movie, and it will have little, if any, effect on either the film’s bottom line or the field of movie criticism. Yet the tactics lurking behind the Gotti campaign bear an eerie resemblance to the much larger problem of “fake news” in our time.

Looking at Gotti is like staring through the wrong end of a telescope and seeing everything you need to know about “truth” on the internet, only in microcosm and applied to the least important thing imaginable: a bad movie.

“Fake news” started out as a term to describe sensationalized, fabricated stories concocted for profit. But it was quickly co-opted by Donald Trump and his followers as a lazy slur to sling at any story he didn’t like, something he’s outright admitted. “Fake news” is shorthand for “this story doesn’t paint me in a good light.”

That’s the Gotti ad method, too:

Audiences loved Gotti but critics don’t want you to see it… The question is why??? Trust the people and see it for yourself! pic.twitter.com/K6a9jAO4UH

— Gotti Film (@Gotti_Film) June 19, 2018

In case you didn’t finish watching the video, here’s what it says:

AUDIENCES LOVED GOTTI. CRITICS PUT OUT THE HIT. WHO WOULD YOU TRUST MORE? YOURSELF OR A TROLL BEHIND A KEYBOARD

For critics, it’s pretty impossible to watch this without chuckling. (The aforementioned “troll behind a keyboard” definitely describes a lot of the people who show up in your Twitter mentions if they don’t like your opinion about a film.)

But it’s a good template for how to get the “fake news” claim to stick. First, it’s important to cast doubt on the trustworthiness of the people generating the stories and opinions you find objectionable. Do it over and over again. Call them “disgusting” and challenge their right to exist.

And don’t forget to suggest that there’s a conspiracy afoot. “Put out the hit” doubles as a clever topical metaphor for a movie about a crime boss and an implication that critics get together in shadowy, secret back rooms at family restaurants and plot to take down movies over cigars and grappa. We wish!

People like believing conspiracy theories because they seem to make sense of a confusing world and they’re impervious to attempts to refute them. And there are lots of conspiracy theories about film critics, the most popular being that we’re paid by Disney, which owns Marvel Studios, to give negative reviews to DC films.

Gotti is playing right into an idea that some people already believe, though the ad doesn’t bother to suggest any plausible reason critics would bother to “put out a hit” on a film so small most people didn’t see it.

Finally, suggest that the purveyors of whatever you’re deeming “fake news” right now are out of touch with or outright harmful to “real” people, ordinary agenda-less folks whose opinions are by default better than “elites.” This is a time-honored tactic for stars in blockbusters who don’t like what they read about their films.

For instance, here’s Samuel L. Jackson after the 2012 release of The Avengers:

#Avengers fans,NY Times critic AO Scott needs a new job! Let’s help him find one! One he can ACTUALLY do!

— Samuel L. Jackson (@SamuelLJackson) May 3, 2012

And here’s Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson after the release of Baywatch, which only netted a score of 18 percent on Rotten Tomatoes:

That kind of populist appeal works on some people for the same reason it works in politics: There’s a sizable group of people who harbor resentment against anyone they think of as looking down on them.

When film critics trash a movie that audiences like, they generally aren’t thinking of the audience. But we sometimes get feedback on those reviews that implies the reader is going to “own” us by going to see the film. I don’t care if you go see the film to which I gave a bad review, nor does any other critic I know. But that kind of reply shows a common perception — and marketers and stars know how to use that perception to their advantage.

If you can get people to doubt the sources, convince them there’s a conspiracy theory afoot, and suggest that the “fans” are obviously more correct than the critics, then you may just succeed in getting more people in the door at the movie theater — and that’s the whole idea.

Gotti went for the full three-pronged approach. The first two are impossible to argue with. I can’t convince you that I’m trustworthy, and no other critic can either — that’s the nature of the opinion-giving business. All you can do is read my writing and decide if you like it. And I can’t prove to you that we’re not conspirators, except to say that if you’ve ever known a group of film critics you’d know how funny the idea of us organizing anything at all is.

The third prong is tough to argue with, too. But in the case of Gotti, there’s an extra layer.

The idea that “audiences” loved Gotti was supported by the audience score on Rotten Tomatoes, which as of today is at 61 percent. But there are two reasons to raise an eyebrow.

First, the audience score on Rotten Tomatoes is all but useless. It can, and has, been gamed by groups like the alt-right and angry fans to drive down audience scores for films they deemed objectionable, like Black Panther, The Last Jedi, and Ghostbusters. Anyone can rate a film, whether or not they’ve seen it — and that means sometimes films’ audience scores can be inflated or deflated before the film has even released in theaters.

Even if the site required the user to prove they’d seen the film, though, there’s still a flaw: Audience scores by nature reflect the opinions of people who were inclined enough to see a movie (through interest in the subject matter, perhaps, or the star, or successful marketing efforts), to buy a ticket and give up a couple of hours of their day to see it. So there’s a natural curve built into the audience score.

What audience scores at their best measure is what Cinemascore more or less measures: How much people who already wanted to see the film liked it. But critics don’t get that choice, and thus there’s more granularity built into their opinions.

But there’s one more wrinkle in the case of Gotti. There might be something fishy about the audience score.

First of all, it’s made up of more than 7,000 ratings, which is a remarkably high number for a film that only made $1.7 million on its opening weekend in 503 theaters (which implies a relatively low number of people in the audience). By contrast, Incredibles 2 made more than $183 million in 4,410 theaters and only has a little more than 8,000 audience ratings on Rotten Tomatoes. And Hereditary, which opened with more than $13 million in 2,964 theaters, has 5,529 ratings on the site.

Sure, it’s possible that Gotti fans are just extremely vocal and passionate about the film. But according to some people who dug through the data, it certainly looks like a number of the user accounts are very new users of Rotten Tomatoes. And while there could be a logical, non-shady explanation for that, there are other explanations, too, that have to do with someone rigging the system. (Rotten Tomatoes, for its part, stands by the score and claims there was no manipulation.)

Once again, herein lie shades of our age of “fake news”: the suspicion that trolls and bots are manipulating our “reality,” first online and then offline, too. There are the Russian “troll farms” that produced truly fake news and weaponized our social media feeds and fake Reddit accounts that have had to be shut down and a lot, lot more. So it seems almost inevitable that whether or not they’re messing with the Gotti score to pump up the film’s visibility, trolls and bots will be part of the mess of audience scores some day soon.

It is very, very hard to tell if any of this is in good faith. Are the people behind the Gotti campaign earnest about their silly claims, or are they just trying to get a rise out of people in order to raise the film’s visibility?

This question extends to the audience reviews left on Rotten Tomatoes, which are pretty wild:

Trolling and shitposting are complicated, but they’re everywhere — weaponizing irony and “comedy” and memes and jokes to both exact some kind of revenge by making your enemy look foolish and confuse them into dismissing you.

That’s not to say that the alt-right is involved in this whole Gotti deal, though anecdotal evidence shows that there may be some overlap between the #MAGA crowd and Gotti fans.

(MoviePass owns a 40 percent stake in Gotti.)

But the fact that we cannot even figure out if this ad campaign and the Rotten Tomatoes score are real feels very of a piece with everything in our fake news world. Call the critics fake news and stoke a conspiracy theory. Game the system through possibly shady tactics. And do it all in an environment where it’s totally possible to just say “we were kidding!” if you somehow get caught.

Gotti doesn’t really matter, and neither does its goofy ad campaign. But it’s a little depressing to see the things many of us worry about in the all-important spheres of policy and politics seeping into something as inconsequential as a terrible movie about a mob boss.

Original Source -> The John Travolta Gotti movie is waging a Trump-style war on critics

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

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theconservativebrief · 6 years

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The age of “fake news” is coming for film criticism.

But the film’s marketers have fought back, launching an offensive that doesn’t just suggest but outright accuse critics of mounting a coordinated hit on the movie.

Looking at Gotti is like staring through the wrong end of a telescope and seeing everything you need to know about “truth” on the Internet, only in microcosm and applied to the least important thing imaginable: a bad movie.

That’s the Gotti ad method, too:

Audiences loved Gotti but critics don’t want you to see it… The question is why??? Trust the people and see it for yourself! pic.twitter.com/K6a9jAO4UH

— Gotti Film (@Gotti_Film) June 19, 2018

In case you didn’t finish watching the video, here’s what it says:

AUDIENCES LOVED GOTTI. CRITICS PUT OUT THE HIT. WHO WOULD YOU TRUST MORE? YOURSELF OR A TROLL BEHIND A KEYBOARD [sic]

People like believing conspiracy theories, because they seem to make sense of a confusing world, and they’re impervious to attempts to refute them. And there are lots of conspiracy theories about film critics, the most popular being that we’re paid by Disney, which owns Marvel Studios, to give negative reviews to DC films. So Gotti is playing right into an idea that some people already believe, though the ad doesn’t bother to suggest any plausible reason critics would bother to “put out a hit” on a film so small most people didn’t see it.

Finally, suggest that the purveyors of whatever you’re deeming “fake news” right now are out of touch with or outright harmful to “real” people, ordinary agenda-less folks whose opinions are be default better than “elites.” This is a time-honored tactic for stars in blockbusters who don’t like what they read about their films.

For instance, here’s Samuel L. Jackson after the 2012 release of The Avengers:

#Avengers fans,NY Times critic AO Scott needs a new job! Let’s help him find one! One he can ACTUALLY do!

— Samuel L. Jackson (@SamuelLJackson) May 3, 2012

And here’s Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson after the release of Baywatch, which only netted a score of 18 percent on Rotten Tomatoes:

That kind of populist appeal works on some people for the same reason it works in politics: there’s a sizable group of people who harbor resentment against anyone they think of as looking down on them. When film critics trash a movie that audiences like, they generally aren’t thinking of the audience. But we sometimes get feedback on those reviews that implies the reader is going to “own” us by going to see the film. I don’t care if you go see the film to which I gave a bad review, nor does any other critic I know, but that kind of reply shows a common perception — and marketers and stars know how to use that perception to their advantage.

The third prong is tough to argue with, too. But in the case of Gotti, there’s an extra layer.

The idea that “audiences” loved Gotti was supported by the audience score on Rotten Tomatoes, which as of today is at 61 percent. But there are two reasons to raise an eyebrow.

First, the audience score on Rotten Tomatoes is all but useless. It can, and has, been gamed by groups like the alt-right and angry fans to drive down audience scores for films that are deemed objectionable, like Black Panther, The Last Jedi, and Ghostbusters. Anyone can rate a film, whether or not they’ve seen it — and that means sometimes films’ audience scores can be inflated or deflated before the film has even released in theaters.

Even if the site required the user to prove they’d seen the film, though, there’s still a flaw: audience scores by nature reflect the opinions of people who were inclined enough to see a movie (through interest in the subject matter, perhaps, or the star, or successful marketing efforts) to buy a ticket and give up a couple of hours of their day to see it. So there’s a natural curve built into the audience score. What audience scores at their best measure is what Cinemascore more or less measures: how much people who already wanted to see the film liked it. But critics don’t get that choice, and thus there’s more granularity built into their opinions.

But there’s one more wrinkle in the case of Gotti. There might be something fishy about the audience score.

First of all, it’s composed of more than 7,000 ratings, which is a remarkably high number for a film that only made $1.7 million on its opening weekend in 503 theaters (which implies a relatively low number of people in the audience). By contrast, Incredibles 2 made more than $183 million in 4,410 theaters and only has a little more than 8,000 audience ratings on Rotten Tomatoes. And Hereditary, which opened with more than $13 million in 2,964 theaters, has 5,529 ratings on the site.

Once again, herein lie shades of our age of “fake news”: the suspicion that trolls and bots are manipulating our “reality,” first online and then offline, too. There are the Russian “troll farms” that produced truly fake news and weaponized our social media feeds and the fake Reddit accounts that have had to be shut down and a lot, lot more. So it seems almost inevitable that whether or not they’re messing with the Gotti score to pump up the film’s visibility, trolls and bots will be part of the mess of audience scores some day soon.

This question extends to the audience reviews left on Rotten Tomatoes, which are pretty wild:

That’s not to say that the alt-right is involved in this whole Gotti deal, though anecdotal evidence shows that there may be some overlap between the #MAGA crowd and Gotti fans.

(MoviePass owns a 40 percent stake in Gotti.)

But the fact that we cannot even figure out if this ad campaign and the Rotten Tomatoes score is real feels very of a piece with everything in our fake news world. Call the critics fake news and stoke a conspiracy theory. Game the system through possibly shady tactics. And do it all in an environment where it’s totally possible to just say “we were kidding!” if you somehow get caught.

Original Source -> The John Travolta Gotti movie is waging a Trump-style war on critics

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

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