#nessiansmut

[tooclosetoluna]

Petition to have every upcoming ACOTAR book told from Nesta’s perspective. All in favor say I

#nessiansmut #nessianangst #nessian fanfic #nessian #a court of silver flames

[tothestarseternal]

Nessian Fic Chapter 6

So...it’s been a few months, but this is finally here! I hope you enjoy. Any comments, suggestions, likes or reblogs are appreciated!

I’ve created a Masterlist for the other chapters and any other fics I do. Let me know if you have any specific requests, whether it be prompts, certain scenes you would like to see or any pairings. My schedule is becoming more open, so I will have more time to write these fics!

Chapter 7 should be up tomorrow.

Chapter 6 NSFW(ish)

TW: Discussion of Sexual Assault

Cassian was speechless and Nesta wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. He’d said that he felt the same way just this morning, but what if he didn’t want her? What if despite what he felt he thought she was just too cold and too broken?

“Cassian,” Nesta started, her voice unsure. “I know that I’m hard to be around, stubborn and cold. I’m selfish and I judge others too often and I’ve done a lot of things I’m not very proud of. So I understand if you don’t want me—”

“Nesta I—”

“No, let me finish. There are many parts of myself that I need to face, to accept, and to heal. But this part,” Nesta pressed her palm to Cassian’s chest. “This part I want to heal with you.”

Cassian’s lips parted and he placed his hand over hers. His lips were inches from hers and his hazel eyes were burning. A storm raged within them.

“Nesta, I know who you are. And I want you, flaws and all.”

Nesta felt tears trail down her cheeks and closed her eyes as Cassian took her face in his hands and wiped them away with his thumbs. She curled her fingers in his shirt, bringing him closer to her.

Cassian spoke again, his voice hoarse with grief and longing. “The war took so much from us. It is going to take time for all of us to heal, but I don’t want to a lose another moment I could have spent with you.”

He crushed his lips to hers, warm and demanding, but gentle. Nesta dragged her hands through his dark hair and opened her mouth for him.

She kissed him with desperation, weeks of yearning pouring through her. Cassian moved his hands from her face down her shoulders and to her waist. He clutched the silk of her nightgown in his fist and wrapped his hands around her back, tugging her closer. Nesta walked into him, moving them towards the bed. Cassian fell back onto the mattress, pulling Nesta over him.

“Nesta,” he breathed into her mouth. She molded her body to his, covering it like that day against Hybern, only this time there was no threat against them, no injuries or wars or unsaid words keeping them apart. His hands trailed down her back, over her behind and gripped her thighs. He pulled her legs so that they were positioned on either side of him, so she could feel every inch of his desire against her. Her breathing was ragged and a wave of heat washed over her. 

Cassian moved his lips to her throat and Nesta let out a soft moan.

“Nesta, do you want to—”

“Yes,”

Cassian gripped her thighs tighter at her answer. “We can stop any time you want--”

“I don’t want to stop, but there’s something I want to tell you first.” Nesta pulled away so she could see his face.

“Of course.” Cassian scanned her face, waiting patiently for her to continue.

Nesta took a breath to steady herself.Cassian swallowed and cleared his head of the lust-filled haze that had washed over him. He was still shocked she was even here with him, that she had opened herself up to him like this. He wanted her so bad it hurt, but he wouldn’t rush her, wouldn’t make her feel like she had to do anything. He remembered the way she had reacted those months ago at her family’s estate when he asked her if she’d ever been with a man. He tried not to let himself think about what might have happened to her, what some monster might have done. She would tell when she was ready, or she wouldn’t. It was her decision and he wouldn’t take that away from her by demanding she talk to him about it.

Nesta began to speak. “Back when I was human, I was engaged.”

Cassian couldn’t stop his eyes from widening. That was not what he was expecting to hear.

“I didn’t love him, but his family had more money than ours. Not much, but enough to have a hot meal every night. I knew I could never do what Feyre did—go out and hunt like that. I didn’t have the patience or the skill and I didn’t want to give my father another excuse to sit back and do nothing. I thought that if I married this man, I could get Elain and Feyre out of poverty, or at least gain our family enough social standing so that they could find decent husbands who would be able to care for them, maybe even find someone they loved.

“My fiancée’s father used to beat his mother, and he didn’t do anything to stop it. I had my own speculations. He was rough with me sometimes, grabbed my wrists too hard or my face when I turned away from him. Nothing extreme, but enough to make me wonder. Feyre confirmed my suspicions the night the Lord of Spring took her away. She told me not to marry him.

“The next week I broke off the engagement.” Nesta’s hands began to shake. Cassian took them in his own, rubbing circles across them in an attempt to soothe her, to distract himself from the dread he felt at hearing the rest of her story, of what might have happened.

Nesta stared at their hands. “He was angry and he—he tried to rape me.”

Cassian felt sick to his stomach, felt rage welling in his chest. He wanted to demand the man’s name, ask where he lived. Wanted to beg her to let him hunt the bastard down and kill him. Slowly.

But he saw the shadows in her eyes, saw her retreating into the memory. He didn’t want her to stay trapped in that darkness. He sat up so that their faces were only inches apart and gently lifted her chin so that she met his gaze.

“He said that he’d have me, married or not. That after he’d finished with me he’d go after Elain, and Feyre, too, if she ever returned. Until Hybern, I had never known such a fear—for myself and for my sisters. I clawed my way free before he got what he wanted, but in those moments he stole everything from me. My body, my mind, my very soul. I was ashamed, even though what he did and tried to do wasn’t my fault. I was scared, too—I was afraid he’d come back for me, or Elain. 

“For a long time, I lost myself. It was worse after the Cauldron, when again my body was taken from me. And after that last battle with Hybern…I don’t know how long it will take, or if I ever will, but I want to try to put the pieces of myself back together. And I want to try and gain this piece back, with you.”

#sarah j maas #nessian #nessiansmut #acowar

[mytileneve]

ToG- Vaughn he’s the only member of the cadre we have no background on.

omg I haven’t even realised this but you’re 100% right! What if there’s some secret history he has that we don’t know about? What if he surprises us all and actually helps Aelin escape?! Now I’m considering so many options.

#ask #nessiansmut

[queenoffantasy]

30 Questions Tag

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

Tagged by @nessiansmut >> Thank you!!!

1. nicknames: Big Al

2. gender: Female

3. star sign: Libra

4. height: 5’ 5″

5. time: 3:28

6. birthday: October 17

7. favorite bands: bastille, Panic! At the Disco, Fleetwood Mac

8. favorite solo artists: Lorde, Birdy

9. song stuck in my head: Sober II(Melodrama)

10. last movie I watched: The Queen

11. last show I watched: Game of Thrones: Home

12. when did I create this blog: January 2017

13. what do I post: Mostly Sarah J. Maas stuff, but I also dabble in Sic of Crows, The Winner’s Curse, Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, and YA Fantasy

14. last thing I googled: tm emoji

15. do you have any other blogs: yes, one that I have just started using to vent about my life

16. do you get asks: Yes, but I haven't gotten many. I am open to them!

17. why did you choose your url: Because I fancy myself a queen, and I love fantasy

18. following: 64, but I follow a lot of tags

19. Followers: 68

21: average hours of sleep: 8-10

22. lucky number: 3

23. instruments: I can’t even clap on beat

24. what am I wearing right now: Tank top and sweatshirt with athletic shorts

26. dream job: Diplomat or assistant to the British Monarch

27. dream trip: London, Italy, and the Netherlands

28. favorite food: Pickles

29. Nationality: I’m from America, but I’m half Dutch

30. favorite song: So many Liabilty, Sober II, Praying, Beautiful Lies

Thanks for tagging me! Now for my nominees...

@@aelin-and-feyre @iwouldtrusthagridwithmylife @readinglikewildfire​ @wingsofanillyrian @rhysand-vs-rowan @abookandacoffee @courtsofstarlight @the-book-reaper @illyrian-enthusiasts @illyrian-empress

#30 questions #sarah j. maas #lorde #nessiansmut #tags

[bookofmirth]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that has a stack and a half of books from BOTM club that they haven't gotten to yet.

OMG they just… are so cheap? And I can never get just one per month??? How can I not get more??? Who has that kind of self-control, honestly.

#ask #nessiansmut #booklr #botm

[accidental-rambler]

Just read you're answer about sleep from that anon and I'm insanely jealous. I have to be up at 4:30 AM for work and I'm a zombie if I fall asleep past 10:30. Teach me your ways since I don't drink coffee.

LOL

I wish I could tell you something useful but the gist of it is that I’ve had trouble sleeping for years and I’ve sort of...adapted? And I need to re-charge my batteries from time to time too! (that means sleeping 10 hours straight every two weeks or so xD )

I don’t drink coffee either (or energy drinks, like Red Bull etc.) !

I do drink magnesium based supplements or drinks containing ginseng (but in reasonable amounts) and they seem to help some, especially in the mornings. Also, I noticed that I have more energy when my diet is richer in all kinds of vegetables :)

#ask #answer #bot sure if you expected actual advice haha #well you got it xD #it's pretty much trash anyway I'm actually a robot :P #nessiansmut

[towerofdawn]

Say 5 things about you that people would only know if they know you in real life and send this to 10 of your favourite blogs! :D

6. I sleep with 2 pillows plus a really small cushion;7. I’ve never left Brazil;8. I’ve only been to the beach a few times 🤷9. I had my first pet when I was 6, a canary bird;10. I failed my driver’s test twice LOL

Thanks, Sarah babe 💕

#nice asks #brot?: stroke of midnight #nessiansmut #high lady answers

[dumpsterfirebooks]

ACOSF 1/2 Way Point Impressions: The Women

Part rant post and part keep my thoughts straight post. All the spoilers.

I have waited 4 years for this book and I was one of the biggest Nessian stans, even had the url nessiansmut that’s how pro ship I was. I never outright hated Feysand but acknowledged a lot of the issues in their relationship and their characters in general. ACoSF has really put a magnifying glass on everyone in the Inner Circle for me. I get why Nesta does some of the things she does but damn this book is hard to read. So here’s my breakdown and rant. Characters in no particular order.

Mor - I am so damn thrilled Mor is barely in this book so far. I can’t handle the unnecessary drama there. Nesta is never outwardly warm and fuzzy towards Mor, but the way Mor goes at her is stressful as hell. For someone who’s power is truth their relationship could have been amazing. In Nesta’s inner monolog she’s always had a thing for Cassian, he’s always had a thing for her. Cassian crawling to her in Hybern, her panicking after the Summer Court attack, and then her yelling for him in the last battles. How would she the seer of truth not see that very obvious mating bond? Instead her character is used to constantly be catty and attack Nesta and I don’t blame her for being a bitch when provoked. Even if you take Cassian out of it how does/did she not see all the self hate Nesta has?

Favorite quote: “Morrigan was a self-righteous busybody.”

Elain - I’m glad we’re getting to see more of Elain’s personality which isn’t smol precious flower child that must be protected because the world is scary. Her character is always background to Feyre and Nesta and probably the least interesting. I’m glad she’s finally starting to have a voice but she might be a bigger asshole than Nesta. She really does seem to jump from situation to situation, person to person for whatever gives her more for less. She has a nice quote about people not having it both ways with her being a gardener with a quiet life or getting into all of their messes which was spot on. 

Favorite quote: “Elain was like a dog, loyal to whatever master kept her fed and in comfort.

Feyre - Started off bitchy and now we’re here. After the first 6 chapters I wanted to just be done. She has a habit of making apologies for Rhys no matter the infraction then rewards him with sex because I guess being a controlling asshole is a turn on. I’m glad to see she’s finally starting to voice that his behavior isn’t cool. I don’t know how long that will honestly last but my brain now says protect Feyre from Rhys because something is very not right with that man. She has a habit of being with abusive men and I just want her to get help. She’s done a lot of shit in her life and deserves someone who actually respects and thinks of her not how she can positively effect them.

Favorite quote: “Rhysand overracted. He completely and utterly overreacted.”

Amren - She could have stayed dead honestly. She’s mad at Nesta because she refused to train with her after the war. Sounds like someone who’s just pissy because she lost her powers and Nesta has hers still. Her new Rhys should rule everything philosophy is cringy and scary. She makes The Children of the Blessed seem rational. The Mother wants you to have this, she gave you 3 powerful sisters, now weapons, etc. I swear my copy says “you wanted a blow job so here I am” but apparently that was just me reading between the lines. Hell that whole line about Cassian being turned into something when they screw was beyond. If they need a sacrifice at any point I volunteer her.

Gwyn: I love her. It hurts my heart that she doesn’t think she deserves to wear her stone like the rest of the priestesses and that she went through what she did at her temple. Loving though that she has a parent from the Autumn Court. Kind of hope that turns into something. 

Emerie: I was scared she was going to be used as a love triangle character with Nesta and Cassian and I’m so damn glad that hasn’t happened. I love that she’s so supportive of not just Nesta but also Gwyn. The parallel of her being abused and seeing her scars vs Gwyn with the internal ones and Nesta balanced in the middle is *chef’s kiss.* 

#acosf spoilers #acosf spoiler

[modernbookfae]

Happy Birthday!

Thank you Sarah! ❤

#nessiansmut

[duskandstarlight]

Masterlist @duskandstarlight

Because people have been requesting it...

NESSIAN (because they are my OTP)

Multi-chapter fics:

Embers & Light (in progress):  Slow-burn healing fic for both Cassian and Nesta, starting from Nesta being sent to the Illyrian mountains by Feyre... Prepare yourselves for angst and yearning, bickering and flirting banter... 

Summary: Nesta Archeron may be the unsung hero from the war with Hybern, but since then, she has felt nothing but hollow. Suffering from a battle trauma so fierce it knocks the breath out of her, Nesta spends her days drinking, bedding males and spending the Night Court coffers to block out the memories of cracking bones and rolling heads. Until... enough is finally enough and her sister and High Lady, Feyre Archeron, exiles her to the Illyrian mountains to live with Cassian - the one male who has always managed to get under her skin. Thrust into a culture in the midst of dissent, Nesta is made to face the darkest parts of herself, as well as the magic that roars in her veins, to figure out who she is and who she will become on the road to recovery.

One-shots

Of Books & Timber (one-shot from the Embers & Light universe): A one-shot where Cassian builds Nesta some bookshelves in Illyria (or a missing scene from Embers & Light). You don’t need to have read E&L to understand this fic.

Kernels of Truth (one-shot, CANON): A missing scene from ACOFAS, when Mor follows Cassian upstairs after he arrives back at the townhouse after chasing Nesta on Solstice (and when he throws the mystery box in the river!)

Dinner Conversation (one-shot, CANON post-ACOSF) One hundred and fifty years after ACOSF, Nesta and Cassian sit around the dinner table with the Inner Circle. And Cassian has an announcement.

Clouds Are Shrouding Us in Moments Unforgettable (Kinktober) Nesta and Cassian have never been a couple that willingly deny themselves some action between the sheets. But when Cassian has to whip the Illyrian legions into shape for an entire week, as well as smooth out the disputes between unruly clans, Nesta and Cassian make a deal: no orgasms until they are reunited at the Spring Court to celebrate Calanmai.

But when Nesta eats some aphrodisiac-laced cherry pie whilst waiting for Cassian to arrive, the bargain they struck is immediately replaced with a base need for release. Nesta hurries to her room where she can finally be alone, but just as that orgasm begins to crest, Cassian catches her in the act.And they had a deal, did they not?

Warnings: NSFW, Spanktober, Dom!Cassian being sexy AF, orgasm denial, Nesta high on aphrodisiac

Alternative POV’s in Embers & Light

Prologue (Rhysand) Don’t read until after chapter 35 of Embers & Light if you don’t want spoilers :)

Chapter 9 (Cassian) Cassian sees Nesta’s scars for the first time. Protective Cassian™

Chapter 20 (Nesta) Nesta witnesses Cassian in only a towel

Chapter 15 (Nesta) Cassian finds Nesta has started her cycle and runs her a bath

Chapter 25 (Cassian) Cassian tries to soothe Nesta’s nightmares and ends up sleeping beside her

Chapter 44-45 (Cassian) Cassian struggles to cope without Nesta

Chapter 51 (Cassian) Cassian is reeling after something monumental happens at the Lake. 

Habits Universe (to be read in order)

1. Habits (NSFW one-shot): ACOSF one-shot of Nessian smut on the premise that Nesta and Cassian sleep with one another in Illyria shortly after Nesta arrives. Angry sex turning into something softer... NSFW.

2. Wings, Flames and Shadows (NSFW)

Nesta/Cassian/Azriel play strip poker in Illyria. This is set in the Habits universe but can be read as a standalone. Seriously smutty.

3. Wings & Flames (NSFW)

Nesta & Cassian come together in the aftermath of his trip to the Winter Court.

Alternative POV’s for the Habits universe

Wings & Shadows (Azriel POV during Wings, Flames & Shadows):  During a state visit to Kallias's Winter Court, Azriel and Cassian deal with the consequences of their recent joining with Nesta and the truths Azriel learnt.

Modern AU’s

A Golden Opportunity  Blurb: For months Cassian had been waiting for the chance to take Nesta Archeron on a date. No, strike that, Cassian wouldn’t lie to himself. He’d been waiting for years, Mother damn it.

From the moment Cassian had first laid eyes on Nesta he’d known that there would be no-one else. Cassian couldn’t explain it, but he’d just known with a rattling clarity that startled him awake. There would be no more raucous lifestyle where he bedded anything that moved. There would be no half-assed dates that were clearly going nowhere or late-night hook-ups.

There was only one goal: to get Nesta to agree to go on a date with him and pray to the Forces that Be that she’d fall in love with him, too.

The Girl Amongst the writhing bodies, Cassian spots her. Scarlet cami, hair like honey. He watches her for too long, the way her hips move to a rhythm nobody else quite seems to get like she does, the length of her ponytail as it swings to and fro.

When she turns and meets his eyes, he’s a goner. And at the end of night, when he backs her into his apartment, he realises quickly that whoever this girl is, she takes what she wants and he’ll take what he can get.

GWYNRIEL

Ribbons (drabble)

Finally, we sleep (drabble)

#embersandlightfic #masterlist #fanfiction #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #duskandstarlight #duskandstarlightwrites #habitsuniverse #habitsfic #wingsflamesandshadows #pleasereblog #nessianfic #nessian #nessiansmut #nessian angst #Azriel/Nesta/cassian #cassianfic #nesta x cassian #nestaarcheron #nessian/Azriel #acosf fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #rhysand #feysand #acotar fanfic #gwynriel #gwynriel fic

[bronson]

HUGE thank you to @xladyyrenewestfallx for making this banner!!! obviously it’s amazing 

I recently hit 1k followers (WHAT THE FUCK) and I wanted to shoutout all the amazing blogs that have inspired me this past summer. some of them actually convinced me to create an ACOTAR blog in the first place and so many of them convinced me to read other books that I’ve since fallen in love with. so thank you to everyone in this list and everyone in this fandom! 

UPDATE: PLEASE NOTE that I DID NOT FINISH THIS so if you’re not on it, DO NOT FRET, but too long has passed since I began it and some of my faves have changed their URLS and/or deactivated so I think I’ll just leave it as is for right now!!!!! I’ll do another one if I make it to 1500!!!!

a-f

@a-court-of-illyrian-warriors, @adarlanshighcourt​,  @aelinscourt, @aelinofstorms, @aelin-and-feyre, @aelin, @blackhtorns, @bugheadboi, @catastrophicallyinlovewithbooks,  @cassiandnesta, @chaolwestfal, @cruelwickedthing, @dearinej, @deceitofstars, @dorianthekinkymf, @dr-woodsprite, @dor-nelle, @el-riel​, @escapingtheconstrictingboxes, @feyxsand, @feysandfeels, @foxboy-lucien, @feyre-herondale03, @fleurrdelacour

g-l

@guiltygrande, @grqnde,  @hardfeelngs, @havilliardandgalathynius, @hellostarfall, @highkeynessian, @highladyofdreamcourt, @highlady-casandra, @highladyfxyre, @highfaedaily, @highladystarfall, @highladyofthedark, @highfaenesta, @highladyofshadowhunters, @highladyofdarknesss, @howlingremus, @iamnesta, @iamthebonecarver, @i-nej, @illyrian-bby @illyriangoddess, @illyrianwingspans, @illyrianswingspan @illyrianrhys, @illyrians-wings, @inejbrekers, @iris-cygnets, @justbooklover, @kazbkker, @kuweiyulbo,  @lady-therion, @lillabard, @lilabard, @lilytincture, @lordof-bloodshed, @lysandras

m-r

@maevelin, @matthais, @mayhemories, @modernbookfae,  @nestasbucket, @nessiansmut, @nestaxarchxeron, @nightfae, @night-and-stars-eternal​ @noahczernry, @persephene, @pipedraems, @queen-archeron, @radientwings,  @rhaesgar, @runesandfaes, @rowanismybae, @rowan-buzzard-whitethorn, @rhysand-vs-rowan,

s-z

@sassyreads, @sincerelyharry, @sixofcries, @sparkleywonderful, @the-bookish-soul, @throneofglassfeels, @throne-of-feels, @velarhys, @violet-ahs214, @writtenbyourstruly, @whitethornashryvergalathynius, @wylanv, @wingsofanillyrian,

[tothestarseternal]

Nessian Fan Fic

My first fanfiction. It takes place right after everyone gets back to the townhouse at the end of ACOWAR. Here’s the first chapter. Hope you enjoy! Chapter 1 As soon as they returned to the townhouse Nesta headed for the stairs. the clinking of glass and relieved laughter sounded distant in her ears as she strode toward her bedroom. When she arrived at her door, she gripped the handle, the metal too hot against her ice cold hand. She quickly slipped behind the door and closed it softly before she was forced to acknowledge the shaking of her hands. Although she had washed the blood from them back on the battlefield, she could still feel the stiff crimson caked along her fingertips and underneath her nails, a phantom reek of iron stinging her nostrils.

Her room was dark, the blue and pale grey furnishings draped in shadows. Nesta hurried through the room towards the attached bathing chamber, afraid to stare at the shadows for too long. Now that she was alone, she could no longer ignore the spinning in her head, the roaring in her ears that turned into screams if she listened long enough. Nesta stumbled back toward sink and tightly gripped the counter, steadying herself. In the darkness of the bathing chamber there were no wounded to tend to, no bodies to bury or burn no task--gruesome or mundane--to distract her from her own thoughts. No, not thoughts--memories. Nesta turned on the faucet, letting the crisp water run over her fingers and ward off the images reeling through her head. She finally dared a look down at her hands. Though they were clean, she could still feel Cassian’s and Hybern’s blood coated on the backs of her hands and splattered up her arms, dirt from her father’s grave crusted under fingernails. Nesta scrubbed furiously at her arms and fingers as the snapping and crunching of Cassian’s wings--her father’s neck--drowned out all other sound. Her heart felt as though it was going to beat right out of her chest and her breath came out ragged and short. She shut off the faucet and braced her palms against the smooth marble counter. Her skin was pink and stinging and her whole body trembled. Nesta slowly raised her eyes to the mirror, staring at her reflection--her father’s reflection. Before, Nesta only saw her mother in her features. Now, she noticed the subtle fragments of her father in her face: his straight, narrow nose, full lips, high cheek bones and arched brows. Nesta watched as a tear trailed down her cheek. For so long she had hated her father, cursing him for their family’s misfortune, her sisters’ hungry bellies and her cold bed. Yet he had come to save them. She would never forget seeing his silhouette out past the shoreline, standing on the bow of a ship named after her, seeing him doing everything in his power to make up for all of his mistakes and failures. And she hadn’t had the chance to thank him, to apologize for her own inaction. For her cold heart and acid tongue. For her mother’s cruel gaze that she shot at him whenever he dared look in her direction. Nesta hastily spun away from her reflection and sunk to the cold tile at her feel. She pressed her cheek against the cool marble, feeling her tears slide across the bridge of her nose and pool around her temple. Her chest heaved against the hard floor with each shuddering sob that wrecked through her. She wished she had had the chance to say goodbye, to forgive him for his shortcomings, apologize for hers. More than anything she wished that she had had the chance to tell him that she loved him. Because she couldn’t remember the last time she said that to him, or anyone else.

Cassian sunk into the couch, his wings tucked in tight and the glass of brandy in his hand. He brought it to his lips, letting the heat of the alcohol burn away the tears in Rhysand’s eyes and the ghosts in Azriel’s, Mor’s strained laughter, Feyre and Elain’s grief and Amren’s cool stare. But it didn’t burn away the tingling of his lips from when Nesta had kissed him--he’d need a whole bottle to do that. He had noticed her go up the stairs, had heard the soft click as her door closed. The emptiness in her eyes terrified him. He would go to her, but he needed time to sort out how he felt about whatever this was between them. He cared for her--that much he knew, but she was so damn hard to read. Besides, he couldn’t imagine that she would be in the right place of mind to begin something with him, no matter how strong that pull he felt for her was. He knew she must feel it too, but she was doing her best to ignore it. At least until she saved his life and was ready to give hers to leave this world with him. But that had been during battle. People said and did all kinds of things on the battlefield; he knew that better than most. Yet he had to at least get some sort of closure with her. She had left him to fester like an open wound, and he needed her to heal it or at least close it. So Cassian threw back the rest of his brandy and headed upstairs.

#nessian #acowar #angst #grief #sarah j maas #nessiansmut

[mytileneve]

Thatcher Moretti 😏

who? | only know their name | loathe | ugh | overrated | indifferent | dead | alive | just okay | cute | badass | my baby | hot | want to marry | favorite

put a fictional character in my ask!

#and now I'm back to desperately wanting Alphas to come out ASAP #ask #nessiansmut #friends tag