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moodymelanist · 2 years

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Compliments to the Chef

Happy Day 2 of @nessianweek! I hope you all enjoy this little meet cute I whipped up for our favorites hehe.

Read on AO3 here!

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Summary: Cassian is head chef and keeps sending free food to the woman who comes in after work, just to brighten her day a little.

Word Count: 1605

Warnings: None

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Cassian

Cassian could barely contain his grin when Mor walked into the kitchen and announced, “She’s back!”

Cassian whipped his head up from the chopping board he’d been using to dice onions. “Really?”

“Would I lie to you, Cass?” Mor shot back with an unimpressed look on her face. “Look at the bar and see for yourself if you don’t believe me.”

Cassian did just that once he was done with his prep work, quickly washing his hands before moving to the kitchen window. Just as Mor had promised, there she was – the woman that Cassian had been sending free appetizers and desserts for her to try going on weeks now. He could recognize the golden-brown hue of her hair even from far away.

“What’s on the menu for today, Chef?” Azriel asked from behind him, a teasing lilt to his voice. The three of them had started together at The Sidra, an upscale restaurant in the nicer part of Velaris, and had quickly risen through the ranks to dominate their own little areas of the restaurant. Mor served as head bartender, Azriel was their sous chef, and Cassian was the head chef. They all worked under Helion, their mysterious executive chef who came and went as he pleased, but everyone on staff enjoyed Helion’s rather lax leadership style.

Because Cassian was so high up in the kitchen hierarchy, he had authority to send all kinds of free dishes to guests to keep them happy. He’d taken advantage of that perk liberally ever since this woman had started frequenting their restaurant; he knew nothing about her other than how beautiful she was and how frazzled she looked coming in for a drink and a small bite to eat after work. She usually had on some kind of fancy looking suit, so he’d pegged her for the white-collar type – maybe a company executive, a lawyer, something like that.

He wasn’t deluding herself into thinking she wanted anything to do with him. He just sent her a plate of something nice, compliments of the chef, when he could tell she needed the extra boost. She seemed to respond better to desserts than anything, so he’d bribed his dessert team with all kinds of little favors to have them whip up special things that weren’t on the menu for her.

Tonight, he’d sent over one of his favorite desserts, a tiny brownie sundae that came inside a chocolate ball. He could only hope she’d been just as fascinated by it as he’d been the first time he’d tried it, especially when the server poured hot chocolate over the chocolate ball to reveal even more dessert inside.

“Do you think she’ll like it?” Cassian fretted as one of their servers whisked the dessert away to deliver to the woman.

“She better, considering how much of a pain in the ass they are to plate,” Azriel muttered from next to him. At Cassian’s scowl, he added, “Yes, Chef. She’ll love it, Chef.”

“Stop it,” Cassian told him with a roll of his eyes. Azriel was technically underneath him in the kitchen hierarchy, but they’d known each other far too long to ever really subscribe to that sort of thing. “You know I hate a yes man.”

“Whatever you say, Chef,” Azriel replied. He chuckled at the scowl on Cassian’s face. “Relax, Cass. Who doesn’t love free desserts?”

The hustle and bustle of the kitchen swept them up before they could continue their conversation, but as staff came in and out of the swinging doors, it wasn’t long before someone brought it up again.

“I think you should go talk to her,” Lucien, one of their best servers, commented as he entered the kitchen to pick up several plated entrees. “She’s not as scary as she looks, I promise.”

“Who said anything about me being scared?” Cassian fired back with a roll of his eyes.

“Nobody, but it’s been weeks of this and you still haven’t shown your face, so…” Lucien trailed off and gave Cassian a knowing smirk. “I’m just saying.”

“I’m sure that has nothing to do with the bet we have going,” Azriel muttered under his breath.

Lucien just smiled innocently before loading up his arms with plates. “Of course not, Velasquez. I would never attempt to mess with the betting pool for my own financial gain.”

“Get the hell out of my kitchen, Vanserra,” Cassian grumbled, taking a break from slicing carrots to making a shooing motion at the redhead. Lucien just laughed on his way out.

“I mean, he does have a point,” Cresseida, his rather excellent junior chef, commented blithely from next to him. “Respectfully, Chef, if you don’t do something about her, I will.”

Cassian pondered Cresseida’s words and decided to get over himself just so he could prove his kitchen staff wrong. It had absolutely nothing to do with his sudden fear that if he waited too long, someone would snatch up this gorgeous woman – assuming she hadn’t already been snatched up.

Cassian wiped his hands on the nearest clean dish towel before he took off his chef’s hat and entered the dining area. He resolutely ignored the wolf whistles and cheers of his staff as he walked through the swinging doors, focused instead on his destination. He made small talk with various patrons on his way over so he could at least look busy; the restaurant was decently full with the after-work dinner crowd, but he was single-minded on his goal.

He spotted her right away as he approached the bar, Mor giving him an encouraging smile as he did. The woman was dressed in a navy suit today, her hair pulled into her typical braided coronet, and Cassian hoped he wasn’t about to make a big mistake.

“Hi,” he said quietly, slipping into the empty bar stool next to her. The woman turned to look at him, surprise written all over those pretty gray-blue eyes, and he knew right then and there he was completely fucked – more than he already was, anyway. “How’s the food?”

“Delicious as always,” she responded once she’d finished chewing. She tilted her head to study him for a few moments before recognition sparked in her gaze. “Have you been the one sending me all this free food?”

“Um…” Cassian trailed off. He hadn’t expected her to be so direct about it, but he’d roll with it if it meant continuing their conversation. “Yeah, I have. I’m the head chef, and you always seemed a little down whenever you came in here, so I thought you could use the pick me up.”

Cassian quickly replayed the last part of his sentence and rushed to add, “Not that I think that’s a bad thing or anything. Or that you needed it or you looked sad or whatever. I just… wanted to brighten your day when – if – I could. I can definitely stop if you don’t like it, I don’t want you to feel obligated or anything. I just… wanted to make you smile.”

The woman didn’t say anything as she watched him stumble through an increasingly awkward explanation, but once he was finished, a tiny smile quirked the edges of her lips upward. “That’s really kind of you…?”

“Cassian,” he introduced himself once he realized she was waiting for him to give her his name.

“Cassian,” she repeated to herself. “That’s very kind of you, Cassian. And rather perceptive of you, too.”

“I’ll definitely take that over it being creepy or weird,” he joked, immensely satisfied when he earned a huff of a laugh from her. “Assuming that you don’t think those things, anyway.”

“I don’t,” she reassured him. Gods help him, but he wanted to bask in this feeling forever. “It’s been nice, feeling like someone cared enough to try and brighten my day. Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome…?” he trailed off, hoping she’d give him her name.

“Nesta.” Nesta gave him a slightly bigger smile and Cassian had to fight the urge to melt into his stool. “I’m surprised you didn’t check the name on my receipts.”

“Then I’d really be a creep,” Cassian said, earning another huff of a laugh. He looked over his shoulder to check whether his staff needed him back and noticed Azriel waving wildly for his attention in the kitchen window. “I hate to run out on you, but it looks like I have to get back to work.”

“I’ve taken up enough of your time, really,” she said back with a wry tilt to her mouth. “Thank you again for all the delicious food, Cassian. It really meant – means – a lot.”

“Anytime, Nesta,” he told her sincerely. He slid off the bar stool as gracefully as he could manage with his bulk, deciding against putting his hand on her arm considering he was still on the clock. “I’ll see you around, I hope?”

“You will,” she replied with a little smile. “Oh, and Cassian?”

Cassian had taken a few steps away from the bar, but he turned back around with a little smile of his own. “Yeah?”

“I’m very partial to chocolate cake, if you have any,” she told him. “Do with that what you will.”

Cassian made sure to send her the biggest slice of chocolate cake he could get away with before she left, and was rewarded with Nesta leaving her number for him on the back of her receipt.

I’d like to personally deliver my compliments to the chef, she’d written in neat handwriting. Maybe over dinner sometime?

Cassian didn’t even let Azriel winning the kitchen’s bet stop him from smiling the rest of their shift.

———

#nessianweek2022 #acotar #acosf #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #nesta x cassian #moodymelanistwrites #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #a court of frost and starlight #a court of silver flames

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talkfantasytome · 2 years

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Stitches

Nesta gets a small injury in training, and Cassian won't rest until she's healed.

Warnings: Mentions of blood, nothing gory.

Word Count: 1,639 | Nessian Masterlist | Read on AO3

a/n: Well...it's been quite a while since I've written/finished anything that can be posted! I think I'm kinda out of practice. I guess I need to be writing more. XD Prompt request can be seen here.

For Day 1 of @nessianweek

"I'm fine Cassian. It's just a scratch."

Cassian chuckled and let his gaze fall to Nesta. "I think we'll let Madja be the judge of that."

"You're fussing. Put me down!" Nesta demanded, wriggling in his arms.

"Why would I do that? We're fifty feet in the air, and I've grown to like you."

Nesta huffed loudly and grumbled under her breath. Cassian wasn't entirely sure what she said, but it sounded an awful lot like overreacting Illyrian baby.

"If the bleeding stops by the time we land, then we can skip Madja and go back home," he offered. As if there was a chance that was happening. Nesta had been slashed good during training. He'd told her the young priestess was too early in her training to be using a real sword, but did Nesta listen?

Of course not. She never did.

Fuck him, it was one of the things he loved about her.

Nesta nodded and sighed, "Fine. But even if I am still bleeding when we get there, I'm sure Madja will say it's nothing."

He flapped his wings and propelled them forward. It wasn't a long flight, but with each beat of the black leather, his heart grew louder.

His mate was probably right. It wasn't an awful cut, definitely something that would heal overnight. But with the blood flowing down her arm, dripping into the air beneath them, his hold on her was the only thing keeping him together. That and breathing through his mouth to avoid smelling the blood. Seeing it was more than enough to drive him crazy.

Cassian landed gracefully in front of the Healer's practice. Nesta attempted to wriggle out of his arms, but he held her firm as he rushed inside. The blood was still trickling down her arm, she had no way out of this now.

"Madja?" he called, entering the small building.

"Can I get down now?" Nesta asked.

He let out a small chuckle and set her down on a chair just as the small Fae walked in from an archway leading to her medical supply room. "Yes-oh! I see." The female eyed the arm Nesta was holding up with her other hand and then rushed back into her supply room.

Cassian flashed Nesta a smug grin. "Told you so." Nesta stuck her tongue out at him and then went back to examining the gash that just refused to heal as quickly as most injuries. He'd have to go check the sword when they got back to the House, make sure it was clean and there wasn't something else on it that could be affecting her.

Madja returned with a small box and some bandages. She didn't bother to address them or speak as she pulled another chair and a table over and began to set up.

"It looks like you're going to need stitches, dear," Madja explained, already threading a needle.

"What?!" Both Cassian and Nesta shrieked the word, Nesta also hopping out of her seat so fast the chair fell over.

Cassian looked over to Madja as he said, "I thought you'd just be able to give her a tonic or rub something on her arm to help her heal quicker."

"I'm not getting stitches!" Nesta added, not waiting for Cassian to finish.

"Calm down, dear. It's completely safe. And the fastest way to ensure you heal." Madja leaned over to pick up the chair and motioned for Nesta to sit.

Nesta shook her head and took another step away from the seat. "No way."

That wasn't a look on Nesta that Cassian saw often. The way her eyes widened and refused to blink, how they focused in on the needle, how her jaw clenched - Nesta was…scared.

"Nes," he breathed, walking over to her, standing between her and Madja for a moment. He placed his hands on her arms and started to rub them gently. He whispered, "There's nothing to be afraid of."

"I'm not-" Cassian quirked his eyebrow at her and she cut herself off, pulling her lips thin. "I don't like needles."

"You were just slashed by a sword," he pointed out, laughing breathily. "I think you can handle a little needle."

He tried to hide the way the small frown broke his heart. That every moment she spent staring at the needle in Madja's hand with those big, grey eyes was torture. That wasn't what she needed.

No, Nesta needed a distraction, and a hand to hold. And maybe a reason to do this beyond herself.

"Can't we just let it heal naturally?" she requested, leaning into him.

She knew. Two years together, there's no way Nesta didn't know. Leaning against him like that, with so much of her body touching his…Cassian could practically feel his will melting away. That perfect scent of a winter's sunrise mixed with embers completely engulfed him, luring him away from reason.

And then the scent of the blood took over, and he was right back in that healing practice, an injured Nesta in his arms, a small healer watching them and waiting.

"The problem is that the cut is so deep, your body is struggling to heal itself," Madja explained. "You need something to help your body find its way, so to speak. That's what the stitches will do, just like they did for Cassian during the war."

"This wound is nothing like that."

Madja's expression didn't alter at the rebuttal. She simply patted the seat again and waited.

"Please, Nesta," Cassian begged. "You can still spend the afternoon recuperating. Maybe curl up with a book in the library. I'll have the House whip up an extra chocolatey cake for you."

Nesta rolled her eyes and huffed, "The House would do that for me anyway."

"Okay. How about you do this, and I'll join you in the library and read a smutty book of your choosing?" Nesta's eyebrows raised, her interest piqued. "And then maybe I'll draw us a bath after dinner?"

"With bubbles." It was an order as much as it was a request. She walked back to Madja and took her seat, and Cassian followed close behind, taking her hand so she'd have something to squeeze.

He lifted his other hand and pulled her face so that those crystal, blue grey eyes were on him. "Look at me, Nes. Don't watch Madja, it'll only make it worse." Nesta nodded, her eyes dropping to his chest as they started to shine. He pulled her head into him and kissed the top of it softly as he watched Madja work.

The healer broke the skin, and Nesta whimpered into him. He kissed her again, brushing his fingers through her hair and softly encouraging her through the process. Cassian wasn’t sure what else he could do, but this seemed to pacify Nesta. It was rather bittersweet, to be able to help her like this. It was nice knowing that he could. But he hated that he needed to.

She remained fairly still, only jerking slightly each time the needle had to pierce the skin again, but soon enough Madja was tying off the stitches and cleaning up the wound again before bandaging it.

"Is it over?" Nesta asked quietly.

"Yeah, it is. And you did so well, Nes," Cassian sighed, pulling back to smile down at her.

Nesta shook her head at him slightly, laughing under her breath as if she found his encouragement amusing now that Madja was done.

Using some fancy solvent, the healer sealed the bandage to itself so that it wouldn't fall right off and then cleared her throat to get their attention. "Now that you have the stitches, the healing will speed up quite a bit. The stitches should dissolve by tomorrow morning, and you'll be good as new by tomorrow night, no scar or anything."

"And I can train tomorrow morning?"

"Absolutely," Madja replied. "You may feel some pain tonight, but that should also be gone by tomorrow. Maybe a touch of soreness, but not much more than you're probably used to."

Cassian stood from where he'd been squatting. "Thank you, Madja. I really appreciate it."

She nodded and waved the gratitude off, focusing instead on cleaning and packing up the materials she'd brought out. "When you get the chance, can you please remind Rhysand he is no longer welcome at Nyx's check-ups? I cannot work with the way he hovers."

"I think you'd survive reminding him far more than I would," Cassian chuckled. He looked over at Nesta and found her wearing a restrained smile, as if she were trying extremely hard to not laugh. "Ready to go?"

She took the hand he held out for her. "Thank you, again, Madja."

"It's not a problem."

The two females nodded at each other. Nesta and Cassian made their way out of the practice and into the bright light of Velaris.

"So, where to next?" Cassian asked.

"We're going back to the House, to the family library. I'm going to pick out the filthiest book for you." Nesta's smile had turned into a conspiratorial smirk that had Cassian already regretting his offer.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and started walking down the street. "Yes, and we will do that. But I thought maybe we could stop by that bakery you love so much. Pick up some desserts for tonight."

"On top of the extra chocolatey cake?"

"On top of the cake," he agreed, pulling her in close as she wrapped her arm around the small of his back. He couldn't help but smile widely as they continued making their way to the shop Cassian spent too much of his money at these days.

Nesta looked up at him from the side of her eyes. "Sounds good. But I'm getting a snack for this afternoon, too."

"I figured."

@live-the-fangirl-life @generalnesta @secretlovelybeauty @nestaisgod @julemmaes @boredserpent @autumnbabylon @lady-winter-sunrise @moodymelanist @sv0430 @nesquik-arccheron @gwynrielsupremacy @katekatpattywack @moonstoneriver77 @deedz-thrillerkilller16 @swankii-art-teacher @lemonade-coolattas @emily-gsh @my-fan-side @champanheandluxxury @sayosdreams @simpingfornestaarcheron @perseusannabeth @clemidansleschoux @meher-sumedha @labetenoir @vinylcryes @shinya-hiiragi @starryblueskies7 @the-key-to-me-myself-and-i @a-court-of-milkandhoney @pintas3107 @embersofwildfire @cannellefawn @superspiritfestival @aks18 @thewayshedreamed @lunabean @xstarlightsupremex @mis-lil-red @captainchris-pike

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amandapearls · 2 years

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𝕹𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖆𝖓 🗡🔥

𝕯𝖆𝖞 2: 𝖂𝖆𝖗

So for Nessian week I really wanted to do something funny for one of my favorite couples! I sent @vmiae the idea that I had in mind and of course Kam did an amazing job in making this art hilarious and fun. I’ve always loved @vmiae artwork and I am so happy I was able to work with them again!

Attached is an excerpt from A Court of Wings and Ruin to show where we got the inspiration from.

Thank you so much again @vmiae for drawing this art for me. It’s everything I wanted and more. I absolutely love this 💕

Artist: @vmiae ❤️

Link to Instagram post

All characters belong to Sarah J Maas

#nesta archeron #cassian #nessian #nessianweek2022 #cassian x nesta #true love right there #Cassian dreamily looking at his mate while she decapitates king hybren 🤣

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dustjacketdraws · 2 years

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For @nessianweek day 5: music

Added a preview because I hate tumblr image quality, high res below

#nessian #nessianweek2022 #nesta archeron #cassian #fanart #dustjacketdraws

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velidewrites · 2 years

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NESSIAN for @nessianweek 🗻

#my babies #nessianweek2022 #nessian moodboard #nessian aesthetic #pro nessian #nessian #nesta x cassian #nesta archeron #nesta acotar #nesta acosf #cassian acotar #cassian acosf #acotar #acotar moodboard #a court of thorns and roses #acosf #a court of silver flames

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julemmaes · 2 years

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Mimi

Nessian week 2022, day seven: free day

A/N: I'M LATE TO THIS??? UNHEARD OF! Not-funny jokes aside, I once saw a tiktok that said how nobody talks about dads' struggles during the pregnancy and the early months of their kid's life and Idk I had ideas and I threw them at Nessian as usual. "Mimi" is a chunky, very emotional-angst baby, so be careful with this one

This is also a very late happy birthday gift for @simpingfornestaarcheron cause she's the best and she asked for some hair-pulling-angst

Thanks to @starksravings for beta reading this, love you❤

@nessianweek

Word count: 7.374

"Okay," Cassian whispered, looking around, counting the number of suitcases and bags scattered on the floor. The pram, the baby carrier, the bag they were going to take on the plane with everything for any eventuality. He turned towards the stairs and called out loudly. "Sweetheart? Did we get everything?"

Nesta didn't reply, but he heard the bathroom drawers being opened and closed quickly, as if his wife was checking one last time that they hadn't forgotten anything. He nodded once, sighing. Great minds think alike.

He was about to call her again, ask her if she needed a hand, when the tiny baby he held on his chest with just one hand moved a leg, jerking a little. Cassian lowered his gaze the exact moment Jamie opened her eyes.

Irises so clear they were worthy of the clearest sea stared back at him, and he smiled without even realising it. Every time his daughter looked at him as if he hung the moon.

Nesta liked to joke that Cassian had sold his soul to the devil to be the child's favourite, to be admired by someone the way Jamie did whenever she found herself in the room with her father. It was enviable, a love as strong, as visible as the one between him and the little creature who was already falling asleep in his arms again.

He brushed his fingertip over her rosy cheek and then gently laid her down in her carrier, being careful not to wake her up as he cradled her head and left a kiss on her forehead.

He lost track of time looking at her, making sure her tiny little chest was moving, that she was breathing. He was unbelievably scared of that nightmare becoming a reality, even if their pediatrician had told them multiple times that Jamie was one of the healthiest babies she had ever treated. They had discussed this ad nauseam with doctor Towers after Nesta had found Cassian kneeling on the floor next to her crib, just after they had brought her home from the hospital. He was passed out, his face pressed against the wooden bars, a hand on the baby’s torso, covering her entire body.

He was so deeply absorbed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Nesta coming down the stairs right behind him, and he startled when she gently placed a hand on his back, taking a step to the side.

He pulled himself up, bringing one hand to his chest with wide eyes. "Jesus, woman," he breathed, "next time stab me directly, will you?"

Nesta raised both her brows, an amused grin curling her lips. When she spoke, she was whispering. “Oh yeah, I’m sorry,” she didn’t sound sorry at all, “would you rather put a bell on me?”

Cassian nodded, smirking in turn, letting his hand reach for her arm, brushing the exposed skin between the tank top and the knitted cardigan that had slipped from her shoulder.

“I think that’s an awesome idea.” He joked, bending down just enough to be at eye level with his wife. His eyes fell briefly to her lips and then back up to her eyes.

She never failed to make his heart skip a few beats.

His next words came from a place deep in his soul, and Nesta seemed pleasantly surprised. As if she wasn’t expecting him to say such a thing at that moment.

“You’re stunning today.”

Her eyes softened, and she brought her hands to his chest, closing the distance between them until their bodies pressed flushed together. She went up on the tip of her toes and left a soft peck on his lips.

Cassian smiled in the kiss and she huffed, taking a step back and crouching to the floor, moving the bags closer to her.

“I’m pretty sure our taxi is gonna be here in a minute or so. Why don't you take Mimi and take her outside?” She said, putting more and more bags on her shoulders and arms. “I’ll be there in a sec.”

He frowned, “What?”

She ignored his question as she placed one of the biggest bags in the stroller, overloading it and making it almost topple onto the floor. Cassian’s hand shot out, gripping the handle of the thing and taking one of the bags from her when Nesta groaned.

“What are you even doing?” He asked, searching for her eyes.

Nesta leveled him a look, conveying all the sarcasm of a thousand comedians in her next words, “I’m obviously trying to make an omelette.”

He snorted, a smile breaking out despite his attempt to hold it back. “Such a smartass.”

“I wanna see,” another groan from her while she tried to balance yet another backpack on top of everything on the stroller, “if I can manage to bring all of these by myself, so your arms will be free to take Jamie when she needs to be picked up.”

Cassian wanted to laugh, glancing at the stuff they’d packed, covering almost the entirety of their entrance’s floor.

“Yeah, no.” He shook his head.

Nesta sighed, “Yes.”

He opened his mouth to reply, but a horn honked outside, making Jamie whimper softly. Both parents’ stares snapped to the baby, and when she blinked awake, Nesta melted and kneeled next to her, all the rest forgotten in a flash. Jamie grinned toothlessly at her mom, sleep still clinging to her body as she tried to lift a tiny fisted hand.

Cassian’s heart swelled in his chest when Nesta slightly bowed down, moving closer to their daughter's face, briefly rubbing their noses together and whispered, “Hello, Mimi.”

Jamie wiggled her feet excitedly and squealed high enough that Cassian cringed.

Nesta looked up at him over her shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “So we have a deal?”

His face fell. “No, we do not.”

She huffed, ready to argue back, but he held a hand up, stopping her. She frowned.

“Listen, Nes, we have to cross the entire airport, and you know it’s gonna be crowded as fu-”

She shot to her feet, both hands up and a threatening look.

“Fudge,” he coughed, failing to hide his amusement as he stepped back. “Crowded as fudge. And you can’t take all of this by yourself. You’ll be sore by day one if you do.”

“So you think I’m weak.”

He ran a hand over his face, “No, I didn’t say that.”

“I smell misogyny,” she joked.

Cassian huffed a laugh, “Stop that.”

She smiled at him, shrugging.

The taxi driver honked again, and Cassian stepped just outside the front door to let him know they’d be ready in a moment before getting back inside.

“I’m serious, though,” he went again, “you can’t bring everything without letting me take something.”

Nesta raised her shoulders until they reached her ears and she eyed Jamie, who was now staring at Cassian with big, shiny eyes. He fluttered his fingers in a subtle wave at the baby, and she cooed.

“I just think I’d feel safer if you had her, you know?”

He studied Nesta for a second and nodded, letting her continue.

“You’re right, the airport will be crammed, and you know I get skittish around large crowds. So I’d rather you carry her and let me deal with the bags and trolleys and stuff. I don’t know if I can handle people slamming into me while I hold her.”

Cassian scowled, mumbling quietly, “I don’t think I can handle people slamming into you, period.”

Nesta took a deep breath and put a hand on his chest. His own instinctively reached for it.

“Listen, it’s not just the two of us anymore, and we knew what we were signing up for when we booked this trip.” She tried to sound sure of herself, but Cassian knew she was just as worried as he was. “We try to enjoy ourselves and the vacation, but our priority is making sure she’s comfortable and safe, and I can’t do that if I have to keep my anxiety at bay. So please, please just let me take everything. Who cares if I have a sore body for a few hours?”

“I care,” he promptly said, passing his thumb over her knuckles.

“Just, please?” She closed her eyes. “I feel safer knowing you have her.”

He squared his shoulders, “I get the baby and a few bags.”

“Cass-”

“It’s called a compromise. Thought you knew about those.”

Nesta grimaced and then stared for a long moment at the bags. “Fine, whatever.”

Cassian’s smile could have lit up the night.

***

“Babies shouldn’t be allowed on planes. It smells like shit in here! I can’t even breathe!”

Cassian had always considered himself a patient man, someone who could keep calm in a difficult situation and that managed to make people see reason.

Since Jamie was born, he had found living up to his beliefs difficult.

Sitting on his left, Nesta glared at the man only four rows in front of them, now standing and screaming nonsense at the flight attendants that were calmly telling him to take a seat as he was impeding the plane from taking off.

Cassian clenched his fists around the handles of his seat, taking a deep breath. The smell of poop hit him like a punch to the temple, and he grimaced.

The stranger was not wrong in saying it was hard to ignore the foul stench, both couldn’t deny that it was true. However, the man's attitude and entitlement was pissing Cassian off.

“I won’t sit down until you do something!”

Nesta shook her head and huffed.

“People are so fucking stupid sometimes,” she whispered. Cassian would have pointed out the swear word had he not been so focused on the argument happening just a few metres in front of them.

One of the flight attendants neared the man, talking with hushed tones. He couldn’t hear what was being said by the staff members, but every single person could hear the passenger’s words.

Cassian was on the verge of getting up and screaming at him to just fucking sit down, but then the man spoke up, “This is why animals travel in the hold, so we don't have to endure the smell of piss and shit for hours!”

“Oh hell, no.”

He didn’t have time to unbuckle his belt before something small and soft and really, really cute was placed on his lap. With rage boiling in his veins and the muscles in his arms twitching with the will to hit the stranger, Cassian forced himself to calm down. He circled his daughter’s body with a hand and pushed her back against his stomach, firmly securing her to him. He couldn’t look at her, even if her little hands were pulling at his fingers. He wouldn’t risk Jamie seeing the anger sizzling in his eyes and thinking it might be directed at her.

Cassian assumed Nesta had passed Jamie over as a diversion. A distraction meant to occupy Cassian from getting up and going for the man's head. It wouldn’t have been the first time his wife pulled something like this. The entirety of their friends and family knew the calming power Jamie held over her parents.

But surely, what he hadn’t imagined was Nesta slowly raising to her feet and fisting both hands by her sides, coughing to draw attention to her and calmly saying, “I swear to everything good on this planet that if you try and call my daughter an animal one more time, I’ll throw her poop at you. And-”

Cassian pulled her back with wide eyes before she could say something that might have them banned from the flying company for the rest of their lives.

One of the now three flight attendants rolled their eyes to the ceiling, muttering something that sounded like a prayer before looking at them both.

“Ma’am, please, let us handle this.”

Nesta’s lips tightened, and then she nodded, sitting down again and buckling her seatbelt.

Cassian was still staring at the love of his life when a loud snort escaped his control. Jamie threw her head back at the sound and hit him straight on his solar plexus, making him burst into breathless laughter. Nesta frowned and glared at him, and then she snorted as well. She brought a hand to her mouth and started laughing like a madwoman as she thought through what she’d just said.

“Oh my god, Nes.” Cassian chuckled, his eyes shining with love. “Did you just threaten to throw Jamie’s poop at a stranger?”

Nesta was still smiling, “I guess I did.”

He was about to rebut, but the man shouted something else.

An old woman across from them was shaking her head with such a confused expression that when Cassian turned and noticed her, he wanted to laugh again. The boy sitting next to her, who couldn’t have been older than twenty, was soundly sleeping.

He glanced around the plane and noticed that everybody was glaring at the man. Some were pinching their noses but were keeping silent. And even then, they weren’t staring daggers into him or his daughter. Everyone on that damned flight was pissed at the man.

“It would be so easy to let those two take the child to the toilet-”

“We’re following protocol, sir. Could you please-”

He interrupted the attendant again and Jamie shifted on his lap, making him look down at her. She was growing tired and uncomfortable. He couldn’t imagine sitting on your own shit for more than what was necessary was a pleasant activity.

It was driving him insane.

Cassian didn’t notice Nesta had turned in her seat and was whispering something to him, because he was focused on the man. It wasn’t until his wife closed her hand around his bicep that he dared pull his stare from the stranger and focused on her.

“Cass,” Nesta put her chin on his shoulder, talking directly in his face, “relax. You’ll be able to change her in a moment.”

He nodded and tilted his head, trying to crack his neck, “I’m calm.”

Nesta just hummed, and then they went back to look at the passenger.

He was flailing his arms in the air and was yelling at the pilot, who’d come out of the cabin to see what all the fuss was about. The pilot raised a hand in front of the man’s face and clenched her jaw, nailing him to his spot with just a deathly glare.

“What’s your name, sir?”

He frowned, shaking his head, “I- that’s not important. You have to do something about the smell.”

He sounded like a broken record.

The pilot nodded her head and curled her lips in a scary smile, “Your name, please.”

“Beron Vanserra.” He gritted out, his face turning red. “I don’t see why-”

“Perfect, Mr. Vanserra, I’m Nehemia Ytger, your pilot for this flight. I’ll give you two options now,” she started. “I’m sure you’re a smart man, so you will understand when I explain what will happen. First option, you sit back and buckle your belt. We take off and you wait not even fifteen minutes before we’re stable in the air so that the parents involved can go change their child’s diaper. You will keep quiet for this entire time and everything will be solved. Second option, I take this plane back to the layby and you get off it.”

Mr. Vanserra gaped like a fish.

“Your choice.”

He grumbled something under his voice and then he finally sat down.

The plane filled with cheers of triumph and howls.

It wasn’t even twenty minutes later that Cassian could get up, the seatbelt signs now off, and walk down the aisle towards the toilet, a mumbling Jamie chewing on his knuckles.

Nothing could have stopped him from slowing down his pace while passing next to Mr. Vanserra and whispering, “Dickhead.”

***

Rhysand had warned Cassian, sometime during Nesta’s third trimester, that he would stay up all night with the baby while she cried her lungs out as if someone was pulling her insides out. Cassian had scoffed that time, saying that was nothing new, that every soon-to-be parent knew their immediate future featured burps, shitty shirts and sleepless nights.

But Cassian still wasn’t prepared for those nights. Not really. Not when it felt like someone kept scratching at his chest. Digging until they reached the bone, cracked open his sternum and fisted his heart in a tight, imperishable squeeze. That they would feel like he couldn’t get enough air in. His daughter was in pain, and there was nothing Cassian could do to assuage her. It was the slowest and most painful torture one could endure.

Nobody had warned him about that.

Nesta was worriedly looking at him from her spot on the bed, her arms crossed over her chest as she bit her lip, clearly wanting to say something but holding back for both their mind’s sake.

Jamie wailed again in his arms, back arching in what Cassian could only describe as torment. Her face was twisted in agony and they knew there was very little they could do, apart from waiting for it to be over.

One of the things Cassian had loathed most since the beginning of Nesta's pregnancy was the unsolicited advice from people who thought they knew everything about their child's behaviour. As if he or his wife hadn't spent quite literally Jamie's entire life with her.

They both knew very well that there were no remedies for their baby's colic; only many attempts at what parents around the world had suggested could make babies calm down. But what could they do about something that not even doctors knew what caused it or how it could be treated?

Either way, Cassian was condemned to hear his daughter's agonising screams and atrocious wails, helpless in the face of an invincible enemy. It made him feel like the worst dad on the face of the earth.

“I don’t understand what might have set her off.” He said to Nesta, attempting to go through with the fourth step in the “Five S” strategy, something he’d seen on google. “She’s been fine for two whole days, I don’t…”

He trailed off and took a trembling breath. Jamie was pushing her legs out, stretching her arms wide like she wanted out of her own skin, so Cassian put the pacifier in her open mouth. Her tongue pushed it out with such force that he didn’t even try a second time, knowing it wouldn’t work.

“Cass.” Nesta called him.

He positioned his daughter across his forearm with her head resting in his hand. He’d read somewhere it was easiest to calm a crying baby when they were lying on their side or stomach. Jamie seemed to like the new arrangement even less, because she let out a shriek that could have shattered glass.

Cassian whined with her, looking up at the ceiling. “I know, baby, I know. I’m so sorry; I wish I could do something for you.”

“Hey, look at me.” Nesta’s voice was harsh, and he had no choice but to do as she ordered. She was now kneeling on the comforter of their way more-than-fancy hotel room. She reached out to him, making a come hither motion with her fingers, to indicate he passed over Jamie, “You’ve held her more than an hour now. Give her to me.”

He hesitated, briefly closed his eyes and stepped to the edge of the bed. But the moment he went to place her in Nesta’s arms, Jamie’s cries became impossibly sharper, and her hand tried to fist a shirt that was not there. He shook his head and straightened his back, bringing her closer to his naked chest.

“No, sorry. I can’t.”

“Cassian.” Nesta chastised.

“No,” he said again, “she-”

Nesta was visibly holding back, considering the time and the fact that they were both exhausted.

“She’ll be fine if you give her to me for a few minutes. Nothing will happen, and I can assure you she won’t feel like you’re abandoning her.”

But he would. It was a given fact that Jamie could calm down from a crying fit better in Cassian’s arms. They weren’t really sure why that was. Probably the fact he had been the one to console her every night for the first month, while Nesta tried to recover from a rough birth had something to do with it.

It wasn’t that Jamie couldn’t fall asleep in her mom’s arms, she did, but she always seemed to prefer Cassian when feeling upset.

So that was why, whenever Jamie cried and neither of them managed to soothe her, they both went insane.

“Give me our daughter and go to the bathroom for a few minutes. Now. I’m not even kidding, Cassian.” She got up from the bed and strolled to them, taking the baby gently from his arms and pushing him towards the only other room in the room they’d booked.

He swallowed loudly and tried to ignore Jamie’s whimpers and sobs as he entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Silence welcomed him, he could only hear some muffled cries from time to time. Cassian hadn’t realised just how much it was affecting him, but Nesta had. And that was why they were the perfect team.

He sat on the edge of the tub and counted to a hundred. Then to two hundred, until he got lost in his own head and was only staring at the tiles of the floor, trying to blink sleep out of his eyes.

When a particularly loud wail managed to reach him, he huffed, got up and started to fill up the sink with warm water for Jamie, something that had worked only a few times.

Once he deemed the sink full enough and prepared a warm towel on the side of it, he went back to the room and stopped in his tracks by the door, admiring his girls.

Nesta had her eyes closed, whispering something to Jamie’s ear, keeping her close to her chest with her head tilted down, towards their daughter’s. She cradled Jamie with both arms, trying to keep her warm while they swayed around the room.

The baby didn’t really seem to be listening, but her cries had died down to more of a hiccup, sobbing and only whining every other second, no more desperate for some kind of relief.

Cassian smiled at the picture, finally hearing what Nesta was murmuring.

“I love you, Mimi. So much.” She was talking so close to Jamie’s cheek that every word was a soft kiss on her rosy skin. “Momma loves you and dada does, too. And we would do anything if we could free you from this pain.”

When Cassian was close enough to touch her, he brushed a hand down Nesta’s spine, placing it on the small of her back. Nesta loosened against his chest, her shoulder pressing into him as she melted under his fingers. His other arm went around Jamie, who promptly looked up with watery, reddened eyes.

He stroked her cheek with a thumb and offered her a tired smile. Jamie only yawned, squeezing her eyes shut, making a few tears spill out, and munching on air afterwards.

If Cassian had to describe what cuteness overload felt like, he would describe this moment.

He left a kiss on Nesta’s temple before stepping back, pointing to the bathroom.

“I prepared her a bath.”

Nesta nodded and thanked him in a low whisper. Cassian helped Nesta undress Jamie and then kept a hand under the nape of her neck, helping her stay above the surface while his wife laid the baby in the water.

Jamie let go of a shuddering breath, and right after, a bubbly laugh erupted from her, making Cassian and Nesta relax against the sink. They played with her for a good thirty minutes, tickling her and carefully cleaning away her sweat and tears.

By the time they were in bed, Jamie soundly sleeping between them, it was well past four in the morning.

Nesta was sitting up against the headboard, stroking Cassian’s hair with one hand while the other was tracing patterns on Jamie’s belly. Cassian, instead, was drifting off to sleep as well, trying not to worry too much about what had gone down that night.

Just before he was dragged under, he heard Nesta whisper to him how much she loved them.

***

It was a nightmare.

His very own personal hell.

Jamie was asleep in his arms and seemed undisturbed by the screeching of the wagon wheels on the rails.

The underground brakes in Toronto, which they had initially thought would ease their movements between one tourist attraction and another, had proved to be the thing Cassian feared most.

Holding one arm firmly under Jamie's body, the other itched with the urge to move from Nesta's shoulders to his daughter. Talking to his wife was not an option to take his mind off things, because the noise was so loud they would have to shout to be heard by the other. And none of the people around them seemed to have noticed that he was holding a small grey fluffy bundle because no one had offered him their seat. Which made it quite difficult for him to keep his balance every time the underground braked and restarted.

Cassian just wanted to make sure Jamie kept sleeping.

When at one of the main stops half the car emptied, he was finally able to sit up and some of the tension that seemed to bind his shoulders in a press melted away. At least it did for ten seconds.

Then the train started up again. And the pounding with it.

Jamie twitched in his arms, chewing on the dummy Nesta had put in her mouth just before leaving the hotel, when she had still been awake.

Automatically, Cassian rearranged the baby so that one of her ears was pressed against his chest, and with the hand that wasn't holding her he went to cover her other ear, praying that the noise that showed no signs of abating would stop.

He had never felt so restless in his life, so stressed. Scared that the little one in his arms was not just sleeping, but had passed out from exhaustion.

It had been a week since they had arrived, and the previous evening they had been convinced they would be able to finish their holiday without any more colic after that first night during the first few days. They had been wrong.

Jamie had not stopped crying until five in the morning, starting at eleven from nowhere and stopping abruptly at dawn, falling asleep so fast that both parents had almost screamed with joy as they danced around the room, clutching each other in celebration of that small victory.

Now, after almost six full hours in which they had taken seven different subways and visited two of the main squares and a museum, and Jamie had shown no signs of life, Cassian was beginning to worry that something was wrong. He imagined it was expected, sleeping so soundly after consuming all energy in crying, but he couldn't help it.

When a group of teenagers climbed into their train, making far more of a commotion than necessary, Cassian felt the urge to yell at them to stop talking.

Nesta must have noticed something wasn't right, from the way Cassian's leg wouldn't stop bouncing and the nervous tics that seemed to have taken full control of his shoulders.

That was why the moment they found themselves outside the metro station, in the park where they had decided to relax that afternoon, she put her hand on his arm, silently ordering him to stop.

When Cassian turned towards her, Nesta's fingers slid down to his wrist and with a gentleness he had only before seen her use with her daughter, she forced his hand away from their daughter's head.

Cassian hadn't even noticed that he was still holding Jamie pressed against him.

The baby girl stretched, bending her head to the right and arching her back, looking for a new position after being forced into one for more than thirty minutes. Cassian moved as fast as he could without waking her to change arms, settling her in the niche of his elbow. Her little body relaxed again, her lips parted, releasing a relieved sigh, and the dummy fell onto her chest.

Despite the situation, despite the stress, Cassian smiled.

Nesta took the dummy, quickly slipping it into his jacket pocket.

“I think we should talk,” she murmured.

He took a deep breath, keeping his eyes on Jamie. He lifted one shoulder slightly, “I don't think that's necessary.”

Nesta approached him, and, his body be damned, Cassian relaxed at the warmth her proximity brought. One of her hands reached out to his face, and when both of Nesta's hands cradled his cheeks, her thumbs brushing his brow, he was forced to shift his gaze to his wife.

"I'm worried about you."

And it was the pain, the veiled frustration Cassian heard in her voice, that made him shut his eyes in embarrassment.

Nesta tightened her grip and then her forehead pushed against his, their noses nuzzled together. Cassian leaned forward slightly, letting himself be lulled for once.

"I want you to talk to Dr. Towers when we get back," she continued, never stopping to rub his flushed cheeks. "And I want you to tell me now what's going on because I can't help you if you don't tell me what the issue is."

When Cassian spoke, his voice came out rougher than he would have liked, and he was grateful to have Jamie in his arms, serving as a shield between him and comfort he didn't think he deserved.

"It's fine. I'm just stressed about the holiday."

With their heads so close together, he could feel Nesta shaking hers in discord.

"No, love, it's not just the holiday."

They remained silent, listening to the chirping and laughter of the children in the distance and the barking of the dogs running in the meadows. One of Nesta's hands slid over his neck, moving into his hair, and his body twitched in shivers.

"You can talk to me, Cass," she reminded him. "I'm not here to make your life harder. We're a team, remember? If it becomes too much for you, you can... you have to tell me. I don't want it to get to this point."

"I-" he cleared his throat, clearing his thoughts as well, searching for the right words to describe what had been plaguing him for weeks and was peaking on this holiday of horrors. "I feel like I'm failing her. Like I'm not doing enough."

Nesta nodded, "I understand that, Cassian, much more than you can imagine."

At those words, he moved away from her, but not enough so that she was no longer touching him.

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

That he had paid too much attention to himself? That he hadn't realised that Nesta was fighting her own demons alone, worried about making things even more difficult for him?

It wouldn't have been a surprise; after all, both of them were quite well known to be people who didn't actively seek help when they clearly needed it. But he never thought Nesta wouldn't trust him to the point of withholding that she was going through that same turmoil.

And then, as if they were connected by an invisible magic thread that allowed her to feel his emotions, a flash of anger passed over her face. "Don't give me that look. Like you haven't done the exact same thing for months now."

Cassian inhaled through his nose. Fair. He couldn't be angry with her. Not for this.

"And don't even try to feel bad because you didn't notice." In a teasing tone, she added, "You know I'm a pro at hiding my emotions."

"That doesn't mean you should feel obliged to do so so as not to give me any extra worries."

Nesta looked him in the eye at that point, a small smile blossoming on her lips.

"For once, I wanted to be the one to take care of you."

Cassian nodded and closed his eyes again, tilting his head back. And then, with the faintest voice he could muster with all those emotions clogging his throat, he whispered, “I love you.”

***

He would have rather been anywhere else on the planet.

Anywhere at all.

In the cone of an active volcano about to erupt.

At the bottom of the Mariana trench, being mauled by a killer squid.

At the top of a tree, with no way out, a grizzly bear climbing towards him, only two metres away from reaching him.

At that moment he would also have relived the grief and despair of his mother's death if it had meant even a moment's peace for his daughter.

The cry Jamie was gracing them with was a cry of anger. Discomfort. Pain.

Cassian had been insistently rocking her for two hours, stuck inside the airport because of the Hurricane of the Year, as the various news reports had dubbed it.

When only three hours ago the sky had been covered with clouds and the rain had started to fall, neither of the two newly parents would have imagined such mayhem. By the time they had finally realised the gravity of the situation and the airport staff had announced the cancellation of all flights, Cassian had been unable to find a single available hotel room.

He had begged the owners of houses, hostels, and dormitories to give them even just a bed, using the newborn-child card. At one point he had managed to find something, until he heard a family next to them say that the very hotel he had just spoken to had been overbooking. And that so many people had been forced to travel back, being held up outside the airport.

Security had stopped letting everyone in. Those few who had managed to get back in were only allowed if they still had someone inside the building.

It was utter chaos.

Cassian was growing increasingly frustrated by the minute and he was trying with all his might not to pay attention to the people complaining about the crying baby in his arms, but it was starting to become impossible.

Nesta was sitting on the ground, surrounded by all their things. She clutched her phone with a hand, pushing it against her ear and cupping her other to hear Feyre’s voice over the hustle around them. She was screaming something into the phone about the hurricane and about people’s rudeness.

He was about to go near her and kiss her, looking for some kind of comfort in such a bad moment, but someone touched his back and when he turned, a lady who couldn’t have been older than forty was frowning at him.

He hoped the stern face conveyed all the rage he knew he couldn’t put into words.

“I’m sorry,” the lady screamed, trying to be heard over the din. Jamie let out a strangled sob and then a wail, arching her back, screaming bloody murder. The lady grimaced and brought her hands to her temples. She turned her head, rolling her eyes in an annoyed expression and then whispered, probably thinking he couldn’t hear her. But her words reached Cassian loud and clear, “Just kill me already.”

When she looked back at him, she was wearing the attempt of a smile.

“I have to ask you to move. My family is trying to sleep and it’s kinda difficult to do so with your kid crying like that. So if you could just, you know…” she trailed off.

Cassian looked her up and down and frowned deeply. She wasn’t wearing the airport uniform and she had no tag indicating that she was working there to help with the damage the hurricane was causing.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” The bite in his voice was a clear invitation to leave him alone.

The woman looked taken aback for a moment, blinking rapidly at him, “I’m-” she looked over her shoulder and a man started walking their way.

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me, he thought. He didn’t have time for this kind of shit.

When the woman’s husband reached them, he plastered the fakest smile Cassian had ever seen on his face and said, “Good evening, what’s the problem here?”

His lips twitched up, and then he clenched his jaw, trying to keep his calm, “I don’t know. I was just asking her wh-”

Jamie kicked out and hit a nerve in his bicep, making his entire arm spasm.

“Fuck,” he cursed, looking down at his daughter. She was silent for a second, her breath heavy as she panted and stared him right in the eyes, probably scared by that unusual outburst of rage. Guilt filled him to the brim and he tensed up even more when the crying took over again.

“You know, maybe you should-”

Cassian stopped listening. He had had about a couple of hundred people come up to him with solutions that didn’t work. He had thanked the first ones who had tried to help them out, even making small conversation, taking the time to explain Jamie just suffered from colic. Now, nearing midnight, he couldn’t have cared less about other people’s takes on his daughter's wellbeing.

He interrupted the man brusquely and turned his back on them, starting to walk towards Nesta as his entire demeanour changed, “I don’t care.”

Nesta was now standing, looking at him and then behind him and the couple who seemed stuck in their spots, their mouths hanging.

When her eyes went back to his, her lips parting to surely ask him how he was feeling, Cassian heard the man speak to his wife.

“What an asshole. He can’t make his own daughter stop crying and won’t even take advice.”

His heart clenched in his chest and his lungs spasmed, not letting enough air in. His steps faltered and the fight in him just disappeared, completely gone by the time he reached Nesta.

She stepped forward, ready to fight for him, but Cassian shook his head and whispered a weak “don’t” near her ear, leaving a soft kiss on her hair.

Nesta studied him as he sat on the floor, careful not to cause any more distress to Jamie. He cradled her body so that she was now somewhat laying on his thighs and when he bent his legs, bringing her much closer to his body, he also bowed his head down, covering her reddened face from the blinding lights of the airport.

Cassian had once heard someone say that what Jamie—or babies in general, he guessed—was feeling during these times was something him, as an adult, could not experience anymore. Grownups always have their emotions mellowed by several layers of other emotions and anticipation of the future, and can’t experience emotions of the same intensity, the podcast said. That Jamie’s discomfort could only be described as “shattering”, because that’s exactly what it does to a parent. All your instincts tell you to drop whatever you’re doing and fix whatever is wrong with your child. You are incapable of ignoring it, and even incapable of coherent thought that isn’t focused on the child.

Doctor Towers had warned him during the prenatal course. His never-ending questions had made her near him at the end of the course, telling him that he should be careful managing all those fears he was already showing during Nesta’s pregnancy. That nothing good could come from him thinking of himself as not enough before their daughter was even born.

But he had been on the edge of a cliff for the past month completely ignoring all the warning signs and the bells going off in his mind at any given time. This trip had only given him that slight brush on his back that made him tumble down the hill.

The first sob came as a surprise even to him and when the image of Jamie blurred with his own tears, Cassian looked up at Nesta, feeling a pang of fear rise in his chest like a tidal wave.

She was there in the blink of an eye, kneeling next to him.

“Hey. Hey, baby, listen to me.” She said, placing a hand near Jamie’s head, on his knee, and the other on the nape of his head. “You’re okay. Listen to my voice.”

Her arm went around his neck, her elbow just below his chin, and she pressed her palm against his ear, exactly as he’d done with Jamie on the metro. She pushed his head against her mouth and started talking directly into his ear.

Cassian closed his eyes, gripping the fabric of his jeans, focusing only on Nesta’s voice.

“This is temporary. We’re not stuck in this airport forever. Jamie will soon stop crying and she’ll be asleep by the time the flights will start again.” She was saying.

The hand that wasn’t acting as a shield between him and the loud noises of the building was brushing through his hair in a calming, soothing way. He leaned in that touch, basked in the comfort it was showering him with.

“It’s not your fault she’s crying and it’s normal you’re feeling overwhelmed. That man shouldn’t have said those things to you.”

He tried to inhale, but the pain was almost physical at this point. Nesta pressed her head even harder against his and her lips kissed the shell of his ear.

“I’m so sorry, baby, so sorry he said that. But it’s not true. You’re the best dad one could ever have and Jamie is so, so lucky to have you. I am. You’ve done so much for both me and her on this trip and you’ve tried enough. This is enough.”

It had to be.

Her thumb brushed the underside of his eye, swiping away the tears.

His panic was slowly subsiding and Nesta’s closeness was helping. An anchor to real life.

Cassian leaned into her, and for the first time in forever, he didn’t put up a fight when Nesta reached for Jamie and took her from his arms.

She positioned herself to sit between his legs, her back against his chest. Naturally, Cassian's arms folded around Nesta's hips and his hands found Jamie's back. He started massaging her tiny, tiny legs, hoping to ease some of her discomfort.

It was after hours and hours of torment and restless sleep in which they alternated keeping an eye on Jamie, that the baby finally stopped. She only managed a faint tired smile before passing out in her mom’s arms.

The cheers and screams of joy from all around them were like a featherlike brush at this point.

Nesta seemed on the verge of tears, and Cassian was close behind her.

“Fucking finally,” she said, placing Jamie in the egg sitting next to Cassian’s thigh.

He smirked, his eyes half closed and his mouth hanging in a yawn, “Fudging.”

Nesta elbowed him in the stomach and proceeded to lay down on the cold tiles. She rested her head on his lap and extended an arm to go over Jamie’s body, while Cassian slipped his arm above the egg’s backrest, intertwining his fingers with his wife’s.

“Do you wanna take turns?”

Nesta shook her head, already half asleep.

“I trust you. More than anyone else. Even myself.”

He squinted, holding back another yawn. He could hear the tiniest bit of irony in her voice, “You’re only saying that cause you’re dying to get some sleep, aren’t you?”

Her weary smile made his stomach twist. His hand instinctively reached out to brush her lips.

“Maybe,” she replied.

“You’re a menace.”

Keeping her eyes closed, she hummed, “You love me anyway.”

Cassian felt the moment she fell asleep, her body turning to jelly against his,and he couldn’t stop his words from coming out when, looking at her, he murmured, “That I do.”

acotar teglist (if you wanna be removed or added just send me an ask or dm me)

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#nessianweek2022 #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #angst #hurt/comfort #emotional angst

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nessianweek · 2 years

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✷ Announcing Nessian Week 2022! ✷

💜 It's that time of year to celebrate Prythian's hottest couple! 💜

Join us in celebrating Nesta and Cassian from September 11 through September 17! Feel free to participate in any way you can, from headcanons, fanart, moodboards, fics, drabbles…. no matter how big or small, anything celebrating Nessian is welcome! Please note this event will be happening on Tumblr, AO3, and Instagram (fanarts) only.

Please tag @nessianweek and use the tag #nessianweek2022 to spread the word!

If you're posting on AO3, make sure to post to our Nessian Week 2022 collection here! Either click the "post to collection" button on the collection's profile page, or search Nessian Week 2022 when filling out the information for a new work on AO3. There's no need to join the collection -- it will open for anyone to post (pending mod approval) once the event begins on September 11, and will close on September 18, 2022.

Last year's masterlist can be found here!

This year's prompts are as follows:

Day One: What Happened Next? ✷ What do you think happened after the end of A Court of Silver Flames? Did Nesta and Cassian have their ornate mating ceremony, settle down with children, or something else altogether? We want to hear your interpretations of canon!

Day Two: Food ✷ Food has always been an important part of Nesta and Cassian's relationship. What does that look like to you?

Day Three: Magic ✷ Nesta and Cassian are some of the most powerful Fae we've seen in Prythian. What does their magic look like to you?

Day Four: Alternate Universe ✷ What do you think Nesta and Cassian's lives would look like outside of canon? How would they live in the modern world, a completely different fantasy world, or within the plot of your favorite book or movie? [Non-Canon AUs requested]

Day Five: Music ✷ Music has played a vital role in Nesta and Cassian's relationship. What does that mean to you?

Day Six: What If? ✷ Nesta and Cassian have been involved in some of the most pivotal moments in the ACOTAR world. What's your take on if some of those key moments had gone differently? [Canon Universe Requested]

Day Seven: Free Day ✷ Any topic of your choosing!

We look forward to seeing everything that you create for this event, and make sure to tag @nessianweek once the event starts! Thank you so much to everyone who has contributed to planning this event, with special shoutouts to @talkfantasytome, @c-e-d-dreamer, @vidalinav, @tangledinmysoul, @dustjacketmusings, @arinbelle and many others!

Thank you to @talkfantasytome for designing the banner 💜💖🤍

Please contact this page or @moodymelanist if you have any questions about the event!

#nessianweek2022 #acotar #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #nesta x cassian #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #a court of frost and starlight #a court of silver flames #Cassian x nesta #pro nesta archeron #pro cassian #pro nessian

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positivewitch · 2 years

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@nessianweek Day Seven: Free Day

#nessianweek #nessianweek2022 #day 7: free day #ella edit✨#nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #cassian archeron #yalitedit #yalit #booksociety #fantasysociety #fantasy network #storyseekers #booknet

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nessiandaily · 2 years

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Nesta & Cassian🔥

artist: pandyals_art [instagram]

#nesta archeron #nessian #cassian #acosf #nessianweek2022 #art #mypost

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moodymelanist · 2 years

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Summer Days (Drifting Away)

Happy @nessianweek, everyone! I’m so so so excited this is finally here and I can’t wait to see all the amazing things everyone creates<3

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

Summary: After pulling some strings and promising not to break another building, Nesta and Cassian spend their honeymoon in Summer.

Word Count: 1125

Warnings: None

Check this fic out on AO3 as well!

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

Nesta

Nesta sighed happily as she relaxed further into her beach chair, the Summer air delightfully warm against her exposed skin.

“May I interest you in any refreshments, my lady?” Nesta peeled open one eye to see a slip of a blue-skinned girl before her, offering an impressive array of sea-themed drinks. Nesta didn’t hesitate before choosing two drinks with a tiny umbrella, tipping the girl generously before she walked away.

Nesta looked up at the sparkling sea, finding her husband easily amongst the waves. Cassian was sunning his wings as he floated in the peaceful waters and looked so at ease that she didn’t want to disturb him, but he had a strange talent for noticing when she was looking at him, and this time was no different.

“What?” he called out as he stood up. Water dripped deliciously down his torso, and she had to suppress the urge to show him just how much she appreciated that as he walked closer.

“Someone came by with drinks,” she answered once he was close enough. If she’d thought watching him before was hard, seeing him up close was the best kind of torture. “I got those little umbrellas you liked before.”

Grinning, her husband — Gods, she didn’t think she’d ever grow tired of calling him that — reached down to take his drink and snuck in a kiss with it. He tasted like the ocean and sunshine and she never wanted to be away from him.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Cassian said with a little smirk. “There’s plenty more where that came from.”

“I would hope so, husband,” Nesta replied, pretending to ignore the way his eyes darkened at the word.

They’d been married last month in an ornate ceremony that even she had barely been able to wrap her mind around. Rhys had paid for everything without batting an eye, even when Nesta had asked for increasingly outlandish requests just to see how far he’d go. Feyre had caught on rather quickly, but she was content to exchange secretive smiles with her sister instead of letting Rhys in on the joke.

It seemed like all of Prythian had been in attendance to watch Nesta and Cassian promise themselves to one another, but she would’ve married him even if a priestess was the only person in attendance. Gwyn had been the one to marry them, her invoking stone settled gorgeously against her blue robes as they repeated her words after her, and Nesta would never forget the way Cassian had practically shone with love and adoration in his dress uniform.

She’d also be hard-pressed to forget the way the mating frenzy had gripped them both, but things had settled after a few weeks. She still didn’t know how his home in Illyria was still standing, but she supposed it was best she didn’t ask questions.

“Join me in the water?” Cassian asked once he’d taken a large sip of his drink. “I promise I won’t let you get your hair wet.”

Nesta considered for a few moments before accepting his outstretched hand. “If you insist.”

Once he’d extracted multiple promises from Cassian about not causing more destruction, Tarquin had been gracious enough to allow them access to one of his private villas. It was tucked away on a tiny island just off the main coast of Adriata, and it seemed they were the only ones here other than a handful of servants. They’d come here after the mating frenzy was over, and Nesta had yet to see the same fae twice even as their visit approached a fortnight.

Cassian scooped Nesta into his arms before making his way into the water, both of them sighing happily as the warmth of it hit their skin. “This is nice.”

“You’ve said that every time we’ve both been in the water,” she teased, tilting her head up to look at him.

“Doesn’t make it any less true, Nes,” he responded. He shifted all her weight to one arm so he could use the other to gently flick her nose. “I won’t apologize for enjoying spending time with my wife.”

“And you won’t, if you know what’s good for you,” she told him with a smile.

“Doing what’s good for me has never been my strong suit.”

Cassian grinned at her a moment before he let go of her altogether, sending her splashing into the water with a surprised squawk. When she resurfaced he was laughing, and his laughter grew louder at the scowl on her face. “Cassian! That wasn’t funny!”

“Maybe to you,” he said, still laughing.

Nesta reared back and splashed a wave of water at him, a laugh of her own slipping out as she used some magic to help get it high enough to hit him right in the face.

“Maybe to you,” she repeated, dropping her voice as low as she could to mimic his deep register.

“Oh, it’s on,” Cassian declared. She barely had time to turn around before he was using his wings alongside his hands to push a truly ridiculous amount of water at her.

Nesta let him get in a few hits before winnowing behind him and splashing him from behind. Cassian whirled around and got in a good hit right in her face, making her splutter as she tried to shield her eyes.

“I yield! I yield!” Nesta shrieked with laughter as she failed miserably to protect her face.

Cassian grinned, victorious, as he gathered her into his arms and kissed her, their faces sliding easily together from how wet their cheeks were. “I love hearing you laugh.”

“You make me actually want to,” Nesta said honestly, her wide grin settling into something much softer as she looked at him. “You make me want to do a lot of things I never wanted to before.”

She reached up to cup his face with her left hand, her engagement ring and wedding band glittering almost obscenely in the Summer sunlight. He’d given her a piece of the siphon that sat over her chest to make her engagement ring — along with a ridiculous number of diamonds to surround it — and she swore she could feel his magic rumble in response every time she touched him with the ring.

Cassian leaned into her touch with a private smile of his own; the one he reserved just for her. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” Nesta murmured.

This time when they kissed, it was sweeter, softer, but no less all-consuming. She would’ve stayed there forever had the moment not been broken by the aggressive rumbling of her husband’s stomach.

They both stilled before Nesta erupted into giggles. “Let’s get you something to eat, my love.”

“Who said I was hungry for food?”

“Food first.”

“Fine.”

#nessianweek2022 #acotar #acosf #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #nesta x cassian #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #a court of frost and starlight #a court of silver flames #moodymelanistwrites

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lucienvxnserra · 2 years

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Day Five: Music

Hello friends! So I commissioned the wonderful mikki_art.books to do this piece for Nessian week! I’m so happy with how it turned out. I wanted to commission a piece with them dancing to the music that Cassian recorded for her. When he gave her the Symphonia, it turned out to be one of my favorite moments between them. So I hope you enjoy this piece as much as I do! Do not repost without credit.

@nessianweek

#nessianweek2022 #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #cassian acotar #nesta acosf #acosf #acotar #commision

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sirendeepity · 2 years

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[ Nessian Week, day 7: Free Day ]

A/N: Did this one-shot sit half done in my drafts for, like, months? Yes. Did I also wait another month specifically for this day to come before publishing it? Also yes. Is there also a second version where everything takes a Feyre-like dramatic twist, but this time the C-section happens because Gwyn and Emerie don't take no shit from anybody? Who knows 👀

Some domestic fluff and a bit of random angst thrown in there, because where would be the fun otherwise? Hope you enjoy <3

@nessianweekk

W/C: 2.9k

T/W: --

Nesta had made a lot of plans throughout her life.

When she was little, she had planned—well, her mother had done all the planning, but that’s just a tiny detail—to marry a wealthy man and elevate her family’s social position, confident that that would, finally, make her mother proud. Little did Nesta know that just a few years later she would find herself without both money and mother. That led to her second plan: Tomas Mandray. The bastard. She was fully aware of what was going on inside his household—what was probably going to happen to her, too—but if marrying the boy meant one mouth less for her sister to feed, then so be it. Trading one misery for another wouldn’t have changed much for Nesta, anyway.

Her third and biggest plan almost worked—and thank the Mother it actually didn’t. Still, Nesta wouldn’t change anything about it. The war against Hybern forced her to open her eyes and come to terms with her feeling for a certain cocky male. Nesta couldn’t ignore them anymore, not when the risk of losing him at any moment had dug its claws so deep into her heart she was afraid she’ll never be free from the bone-shattering grip. Decades had passed since then, yet Nesta still woke up in the middle of the night, cold sweat drenching her nightclothes and the cruel hands of terror pinning her body to the mattress. Her eyes were open but the memory hadn’t stopped—the voices overlapping in her head. One was made of warmth and comfort, hot breath against her neck and a heavy arm pulling her closer and closer; the other was pain and sputtered blood, pleading her to go, run, save herself. She couldn’t, so she stayed. It had offered her a promise, one that Nesta found herself almost relieved to hear, knowing it would be fulfilled soon. She closed her eyes, now as she did back then, waiting for the fatal blow. It never came.

To her mate’s more than probable disappointment, being stuck in Illyria was not one of those plans. Not by a long shot. She’d grown to enjoy the place—the mountains and its inhabitants—but the breathtaking landscape was not the reason why she’d come here in the first place. She just needed to have a nice chat with a group of elderly Illyrian females and then they could fly back to Velaris. That was until Cassian vanished somewhere with Balthazar, never to be seen again.

“It won’t take much, he said,” mimicked Nesta, throwing yet another pillow on the sofa. “Just wait for me at the house if you finish first, he said. Forty godsdamned minutes ago.”

She punched and squished her tiny nestle of pillows and blankets until she felt comfortable enough against it, then reached for the book she left on the coffee table. A book that had vanished just like her mate, apparently.

Because you did leave it there, right? She questioned herself, digging through her memory and finding nothing of use. She wasn’t surprised, her brain has stopped working properly 7 months ago, give or take. Nesta leaned forward as much as she could without tripping over to see if it may have fallen on the floor, then swept her eyes around the room, hoping for a little yellow square to catch her eyes. And it did catch her eyes, on the kitchen table. Nesta cursed inwardly, rolling her eyes as she readjusted herself and looked down at her own sprawled body. The next time someone told her what a wonderful, beautiful thing being pregnant was, she’d choose violence.

“There goes my comfy spot,” Nesta muttered under her breath as she gripped any available surface to push herself and her 41 weeks rounder-than-ever belly up the sofa, trying her very best not to pull any muscles in the process.

She was halfway back to the living room when the front door opened, showing a 6’4 feet tall male standing in her doorway, wet as a puppy, drip-dropping on the floor.

“Hi, Nes,” he said, and she felt the sudden urge to punch him. Or kiss him. Or maybe both. “It’s storming outside, so we’ll have to wait until it’s over before I can fly us back to Velaris,” Cassian went on, kicking his muddy boots aside and taking off as many clothes as he could before stepping into the house itself. He let his gaze run over her, from the hand pinned on her back to give her belly additional support, to the black, oversized shirt she had on—clearly not one of hers because Gods forbid she could find at least one that fit her new demanding body—, to the yellow tome tucked under an arm. He even had the audacity to smirk at her I’ll cut your balls off and use them as earrings look—one of the newest addition to her collection—before saying, “Nice outfit.”

Nesta only inclined her head, contemplating how much time it would take her to wabble her way to him. Too much, she realized. It would be faster if she threw the book from where she was standing. Cassian sighed, clearing the space between them with a few strides. “How is the love of my life?”

“Yet to be decided,” Nesta replied, tilting her head up so she wouldn’t answer his chest.

“I was talking to the baby.”

Cassian sank to his knees in front of her, flashing her a lazy grin as he gently stroked her thighs before raising the hem of the shirt. Her pale skin, still a little shiny from the lavender oil she applied earlier, courtesy of Emerie’s exceptional taste, was a stark contrast to the deeply tanned pair of huge hands now covering the curve of her belly almost entirely. This time Nesta did smack him on the head with the book, earning herself a rumbled laugh and a pinched ass.

“You don’t really hate me right now, do you?” He asked between a kiss and the next, his damp hair leaving a wet trail on her stretched skin.

She didn’t answer, her heart too weak to form a coherent sentence, and when he stopped his greetings to the baby and looked up at her, she looked away a beat too late, feeling his lips curve into a smile.

“Come on, Nes. I’m sorry I haven’t predicted the rain. I told you summer storms in Illyria come when you’re least expecting them.”

He had told her that, many times, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be pissed about it anyway. The baby was a week late and they took a great risk by flying all the way there to meet the elders, and the last thing she wanted was to give birth in these conditions, without her family to hold her together while she regretted all her life choices. Nesta pushed the book against Cassian’s forehead, putting some space between her belly and his face, and spun on her heels, heading for the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Cassian called after her.

“To draw you a bath before you catch a cold.”

“I’ll catch it anyway if I have to wait for you to climb up the stairs,” he said, moving behind her.

Nesta turned with her finger already pointed toward its target when Cassian lifted her up.

“Gods, you stink.”

“You’re welcome.”

Fifteen minutes later, Nesta was leaning against the bathroom doorframe, admiring her oh-so-gorgeous mate stripping naked in front of her. She was so glad at least one of them got to keep the muscles, and that the one was him. She dipped her eyes as soon as Cassian turned his back to her. How long would it take her to get back up if she knelt and took a bite of that incredible ass—

“Do you plan on taking that shirt off or do I have to do it for you?”

“If I get into that bath none of us will get out anytime soon,” Nesta replied, not meeting his eyes once even as he faced her again. Did she make a mistake or were there two more muscles on his torso?

He took a few steps in her direction, forcing her to raise her gaze. “Good,” he said, pressing his lips against the pointy shell of her ear, “because we have a lot of time on our hands before the storm ends.”

Said hands were now resting on either side of her belly, roaming south toward the rim of the shirt. Nesta closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, reveling in the constant warmth of Cassian’s body against her own, the roughness of his palms.

Right there and then, she decided she would give up and give in, lifting her arms so Cassian could peel the shirt right off of her, and bared her neck to him.

Right there and then, their baby decided not to be as enthusiastic about what was going to happen as they were, and started kicking. Hard. Nesta hissed in pain, gripping Cassian’s shoulders for support. Cassian, coming back to his senses, stroked Nesta’s back and placed his other hand on the belly-turned-punching bag, taking care of both the mother and the daughter at once.

“I can’t believe she’s not even out and she already has a favorite,” said Nesta through clenched teeth. Cassian laughed lightly, leading Nesta toward the still fuming bathtub, filled with bubbles almost to the brim. It took them a few tries to climb in and find the right position, but not much after they were both comfortably laying back-to-chest, hands rubbing soft skin.

“She’s taking her sweet time,” Cassian said after a couple of minutes of silence, “yet we’re still stuck.”

“What do you mean?”

“We don’t have a name. What do we call her?”

Nesta, who was tracing soapy lines on the back of his hand and down his forearm, following scars and veins, stopped short in her tracks. “We’ll find something, eventually.”

He kissed her bare shoulder, muffling his chuckles against her skin, “I can’t wait for her to be here.”

With that, Nesta’s thoughts took off. “Yeah, me too.”

“Not so much enthusiasm, it’s only our firstborn child.” Cassian’s chest shook against her back as the tip of his nose stroked her fluttering pulse. His hand stilled, leaving her belly skin tingling, and Nesta shut her eyes closed, waiting. He knew something was wrong.

“What is it, Nes,” he said ever so gently, his mouth now brushing her ear.

“It’s nothing, really.” She knew she was being paranoid, and most—if not all—future mothers felt the same way she did, at some point or another, but that knowledge didn’t stop her troubles to pool at the base of her spine, crawling up her back.

“Whatever is going on in your head, I want to know. I don’t care if you think it’s stupid or pointless. I want to know, all of it.” His tone didn’t falter once, didn’t even turn angrier, demanding. “Please.”

Nesta exhaled slowly, tipping her head back to rest it on Cassian’s shoulder.

Cassian had never marched into her head and heart, taking control of her life. He’d waited patiently to be granted access, slipping past all her defenses almost unnoticed and taking root in the darkest part of her. Not pushing, not pulling: just waiting—for her to open up, for the light to find its way in, for the cracks to stitch back together, the scars to heal. The qualities she needed and loved most, all inside one huge bat. Patience, loyalty, unconditional love.

“What if I can’t do this?” Nesta stumbled on the words stuck in her throat, choking her. Tears swelled her eyes as she struggled to blurt out the rest, no matter how many times she tried to swallow down the lump. “What if I can’t be a good mother?”

She took it all back: the damn had broken, there was no stopping her now.

“It’s not like I ever had these great parental figures to look up to, and we all know I took after my mother more than I should have,” a laugh escaped her lips, tasting sour. For all her life, Nesta has feared the day she would truly become her mother’s daughter. It was her mother’s face she saw when she looked in the mirror; her mother’s voice she heard when she snapped and spit venom at anyone who got too close; her mother’s creature she became when her mind wandered a little too far back, whenever she read other people’s body language as easily as she would a book, and asked herself how easy would it be to take and take and take and leave only ashes in her way. Sometimes Nesta became her, so much so that she felt sick to her stomach. All these years, all this pain and anger and regret, and she still couldn’t let her go. “I don’t want to be like her, I don’t want our baby to—”

“Hey, stop. Stop.” Cassian’s hands tightened around her, anchoring her as she found her way through her too-loud thoughts, every word more grounding than the one before. “You’re not like your mother.”

A hand flew to her face, mixing salt and soap. “How would you know? You haven’t even met her.” Thankfully.

“You’re not your mother and you’ll never be because you care.” The words caught Nesta so off guard that, for a moment, everything went quiet. Nothing but the sound of water dripping and heart beating filled the room. “You care so much about this baby, Nesta. You’ve cared about her from the moment we’ve learned about her existence. When she wasn’t even a she yet.”

Two fingers pinched her chin, forcing her head to the side. Beautiful hazel eyes were waiting for her own, burning and melting all at once. She’s never been able to hide from his gaze, never been able to cover the ugliest truths from him. Nesta kinda hated how she loved it. It made everything much easier to overcome: knowing you won’t ever have to search for words you couldn’t find to explain what you couldn’t name. He’d always seen it—seen her.

Cassian’s voice soothed her nerves like a balm. “You already love her more than your mother ever did. I know that for a fact because I’ve been by your side every step of the way—and this isn’t just about the pregnancy.”

Nesta couldn’t help the little laugh that bubbled up, thinking back to how it started: the pain, the House, the Valkyries.

Look, how far you’ve come.

Nesta learned to live with this presence in her life. The timeless voice of the Mother making its way through her mind, the faint touch of her embrace, the feeble whisper of a presence following her every move.

She turned her head, catching the first rays of the sun shyly cutting through the curtain of clouds. Nesta couldn’t tell when it stopped raining. She was now able to go home, just as she’d wanted to. She should feel relieved, and yet she wasn’t—not completely, at least, because going home meant popping the bubble, and this bubble wasn’t that bad, after all. So Nesta kept quiet, reveling in Cassian’s hands roaming all over her body, Cassian’s lips tasting her skin, Cassian’s scent filling her lungs, Cassian’s love tending her frail and wounded heart. Anything, if done by Cassian, tended to have a whole different outcome. Content with just his reassuring presence, Nesta glanced out the window once again, mesmerized by how the light played with the mist rising from the forest blanketing a nearby mountain, curling around trees like it got stuck in their branches.

“Our kids will never know a day without their parents’ love growing up,” she said, breaking the silence.

Cassian agreed without missing a beat. “There will always be light. Only light.”

“Nora,” Nesta said, tasting the sound on her tongue.

“What?”

A small smile played on Nesta’s lips as she repeated, “Nora. Light. That should be the name for the baby.”

“Since when did you know Illyrian?” He sounded more surprised than upset, given his many attempts at teaching her the dialect.

“I do live with two outgrown bats, you know,” she shrugged it off, feigning indifference. Her heart, on the other hand, was in need of praise—it started in the bedroom, but it took control of every aspect of her life. Just a few words from Cassian, and she felt weak in the knees but beaming with pride at the same time.

The rumble of his deep laugh rolled straight to the tip of her toes. “So Emerie has nothing to do with it?”

“Who knows.”

She had struggled so much during their lessons that they became very few and far in between, with Cassian having to prioritize his actual duties as General Commander rather than a “personal hobby”, leading to the meetings stopping altogether. But it was his mother tongue and the Illyrians, no matter how Illyrian they might be, were still his people. For centuries he’d been the only one fighting for the cause, and for even more centuries he will keep fighting no matter the odds.

Cassian had been the only one left standing one too many times—his beliefs hard to kill, his hope harder still. Nesta thought he might like some company.

#dee writes #Nora #nessianweek2022 #nessian #nessian fanfiction #nessian fic #nesta archeron #cassian #nesta and cassian #nesta x cassian #cassian x nesta #pregnancy fic

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bookishlilcorner · 2 years

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Lord of Bloodshed and Lady Death

He who mastered the arts of war and destroy armies by a single blast. She who ripped death by its throat and made it her own power. Together, they make their enemies tremble.

Nessian moodboard for @nessianweek Day 3: Magic

#nessian #nessianweek2022 #nesta archeron #nesta acosf #pro nesta #cassian acosf #cassian acotar #nessian supremacy #nessian moodboard #cassian x nesta #nesta x cassian #acotar moodboard #acotar #acosf #a court of thorns and roses #a court of silver flames #my posts

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julemmaes · 2 years

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Cook For Me

Nessian week 2022, day two: food

A/N: two in a day??? I know, I'm going fucking insane. But it's okay.

This is for @letstakethedawn, my sweet and fucking beautiful wifey. I promised fluff and fluff I delivered with a heavy sprinkle of angst, but you can't fully blame that on me. The prompt was already fucked up.

@nessianweek

Word count: 3,039

Nesta knew the time had come where she needed to detach herself from Cassian, actually get dressed and drive him to the airport. The problem was, she really didn’t fucking want to.

They had spent the last five days locked up in their place, only leaving late in the afternoons to go join their friends and family at the bar or at Azriel’s townhouse and come back here before midnight.

Feyre had scolded them when they’d jokingly said they planned on staying home, fucking all day, for the last remaining week Cassian had in Prythian. The very detailed description of what Nesta’s youngest sister would have done to them if they didn’t show up at least for a few hours every night had them both rolling out of bed, showering and at Rita’s twice in a row. The other four nights Cassian had promised Nesta really nasty things to convince her to go to Azriel’s and share him with the others.

They’d had a pretty emotional night the day before, when instead of riding his bike back home, Cassian had had to leave it in his brother’s garage, for him to use while he was away for a year. Nesta thought she’d never really cared for that piece of metal, but she’d found herself shedding a few tears walking all the way home. She had tried to convince everyone—herself included—that it hadn’t only been because of the bike, but her boyfriend had done a pretty good job at reminding her how Bartholomew was a huge chunk of their story.

And for the most part, that was true.

It had been there for their first meeting, just outside Nesta’s workplace were Cassian had to deliver a pizza on her very first day there. For their first date, in which Nesta had been so excited about riding it that Cassian had proposed on the spot, making her laugh and letting him know that he’d have to sweat it. All the weekends gateways they’d been on to escape their families and life when it got too hard, they’d always taken his bike, never a car. Not a single time. And Cassian argued about how they should have in the now-far October, during their fifth anniversary, when the skies had opened on them like they had done something personal to the gods. They’d gotten in a pretty bad accident, risking falling off a cliff because of a mindless driver on the other lane.

After that event, Nesta hadn’t been that adamant in riding his bike that much, but she’d never blamed his MewMew.

Lying in his bed now, her brain still mush after the four orgasms her very caring and relentless boyfriend had given her, she was trying to ignore the ache in her chest.

Her head was resting against his pec and she could hear his heart beating while he gently brushed her hair from her face with his arm circling her shoulders. One of her legs was perched on his hips and with his other hand, he was tracing lines back and forth on her thigh, sending shivers down her spine.

She was going to miss having this.

At first she’d proposed seeing each other less and less while he still was here, to make the departure less painful. Maybe getting used to not seeing him every day, just twice or once a week, would have eased them in the long distance thing more easily, but Cassian had made the most horrified face she’d ever seen him make and had called her a thousand ways of insane.

Nesta was not regretting having spent the last ten days holed up in his room, not one bit, but she did regret having had a taste of what domestic life felt like with Cassian. She regretted giving herself completely to the man who was currently about to leave for the other side of the world for twelve whole months.

“I can hear the little mouse in your brain run on his wheel like he’s on some kind of acids.”

Cassian’s voice came out gravelly, sounding a lot like the voice of someone who’d spent the last hours whispering in her ear all such of filthy things.

Nesta groaned and turned her head to his chest, pressing her face into his skin, hoping she could become a part of him and he’d be forced to take her with him. She tried to talk and the sound came out muffled.

His laugh shook her body, “Didn’t hear a single thing, sorry.”

It took immense energy to lift her head, the muscle in her neck straining to look up, but the sight of him smiling sheepishly down at her was everything she needed and more. She couldn’t keep the smile from breaking on her lips and then she huffed, blowing a strand of hair from her eyes.

“I just said,” her voice was so raspy she had to cough to free her airways. Cassian smirked, as if knowing the reason for her sore throat was him. “I just said, I don’t want you to leave.”

His smile fell a bit, turning into a sad grimace and he moved his hand up to the swell of her ass, lifting her up on his torso so that she was pressed even more onto him. His eyes darted down to her tits for a moment, but they went back to her face right away as he said, “I know, baby. I fucking hate this too.”

They stared at each other for a moment and then Cassian slapped her ass, hard, making her yelp in surprise. “Get up, babe. Gotta give you something.”

Nesta whined as he moved her off of him.

He was already out of bed when his words sunk in. She tensed starring at the ceiling.

“Cassian.”

He hummed.

“Cassian,” she repeated, trying to keep her calm. She got up on her elbows, watching as he frantically opened and closed all the drawers. This douche. “Cass, fucking christ. We’d said no goodbye gifts.”

He didn’t even glance her way as he rummaged through the only box that he hadn’t already mailed to Lunathion. “Well, sweetie, you should have known better. Ah!” He raised a hand to sky and the tiny package shone under the low light. It was sparkly and Nesta’s attention was piqued, but she was still annoyed that he’d gotten her something when they’d decided against it together.

He was smiling like a toddler on Christmas day and he trotted back to the bed, handing the small packet to her. Nesta took it reluctantly and was eyeing him weirdly. He had been the one to propose the no-gifts rule and it made her wonder what was so important that he went all the way and broke a promise of his own. It wasn’t like Cassian to back no something like this.

He smiled encouragingly, nodding to the present. “C’mon, open it!”

Nesta shook the thing, hoping to get a hint at what was inside, but Cassian smirked.

“You’re not gonna find out unless you open the damn thing, so just go with it.” He sat down next to her, placing a hand on her leg and stroking her tigh lovingly. “It took me so fucking much.”

Nesta’s eyes went wide, “You made this?”

“Why are you so surprised?” He laughed, “You haven’t even seen what it is yet, might literally be a shit cake with some mud and leaves on it.”

She shook her head, “You’re disgusting.”

Cassian shrugged, “I’m trying to make you hate me, so maybe you won’t miss me as much.”

Nesta looked at him with a frown.

“That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said in eight years of relationship.”

“Yeah like not living with each other on my last week here.” He fired back, looking pointedly at her.

Nesta tilted her head, smacking her lips, still turning the sparkly gift in her hands.

“Fair.”

“Just open the fucking thing, Nes.”

“So bossy.”

“That’s how you like me.”

She smiled at that and tore open the paper, being careful not to get the silver glitter all over the sheets.

Something fell on her ankle and when she looked down in between them, the smallest book she’d ever seen sat there.

The cover was a very light blue, silver and golden intricate lines decorated the spine and on the front a sinuous theatre mask had been drawn with delicate brushes. Some white flowers adorned the outline and finally, at the very bottom of the cover, written in a fine line calligraphy, there were just three words.

Cook for me.

This was definitely handmade, but Cassian couldn’t have had anything to do with the drawings and decorations. She just knew he hadn’t meant this when he’d said he’d done it himself.

“This is beautiful, Cass.” She whispered, passing the tip of her finger over the complex binding.

Nesta glanced his way and he was looking straight at her, eyeing her reaction to the gift. He wore an embarassed smile and it was so not-Cassian that she felt the impulse to open the book, feeling like that wasn’t what he’d put so much of himself into.

She delicately turned the paper and, to her surprise, his writing covered the whole page.

She only skimmed the words, wanting to see if there were more, but when she went to flick the rest of the book, his huge hand covered the book completely.

Nesta looked up at him, wondering what he was doing.

“You can’t read it right now.”

Her mouth gaped.

He laughed.

“I knew you were gonna hate me for this, but I swear it’s romantic once you have all the info.”

Nesta tried to get a glimpse of whatever was written on it, her interested in it now a thousand times stronger, but his fingers shut and she couldn’t see anything.

She breathed in through her nostrils, “What is it, then, if not a book I can read?”

Cassian scooted closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and hoisting them both up, leaning on the headboard a few seconds later.

Nesta loved it when he manhandled her that way.

She rested her head against his shoulders and let him took the book from her hands as they got comfortable.

He closed it and showed her the cover once more. The book looked even smaller in his hand.

When he spoke, his lips brushed against her ear and she shivered, gripping his thigh, stopping the urge to grind her ass against his crotch.

“I wrote in it every single day for the past six months. Since I got the confirmation I’d be going.” He started, “I know we can make it, I know we’ll get over this year quicker than we think, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be easy for either of us.”

Nesta nodded and turned her head just enough that their lips brushed. He closed his eyes and brought a hand to her jaw, tilting her head up so he could deepen the kiss. His tongue licked just briefly her upper lip and then he left a peck on the tip of her nose.

“You’re gonna have to read one page per day. No cheating. I’ll find out if you did. And on the first page there’s a link.”

He cracked the book open so fast Nesta gasped, clutching his wrists, stopping him from breaking the delicate needlework.

“Don’t be such a brute.” She said.

Cassian didn’t give her an ounce of attention, “I put a link here,” he passed his thumb over the letters, “I can send it to you if you don’t want to copy it letter by letter. It will lead you to a folder.”

“A folder?”

“In it there are around a hundred videos of me.” He confessed.

Nesta perched up at that and turned completely towards him, a raised brow. “Did you film yourself jerking off a hundred times for me to see you every day?”

Cassian made a shook face and mouthed to her what the fuck before closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. He huffed out a laugh and then with the cutest grin said, “No, babe, I did not.”

She shrugged like it was nothing, “So what are you doing in these videos?”

His cheeks turned the slightest red, “I’m cooking.”

Nesta gawked at him.

“And the notes…” he scratched the back of his head and she found it endearing that he still got this awkward around her, even after so many years. “I- They’re kinda important. Not random notes. They like tiny love letters.”

She was speechless.

He’d written her more than a hundred letters.

He’d taken the time and put the effort in something she would treasure for the rest of their lives.

Cassian took her silence as an invitation to keep talking.

“I know it’s gonna be hard for us to not be around each other all day long. And there will probably be days where we don’t hear from the other, so I wanted you to have this.”

He thrust the book towards her and Nesta glanced down at it, her sight going blur.

“I’m obviously going to try my hardest to avoid not texting you or calling you for a whole ass day, but I don’t want you not having anything from me for that long in case it happens and I couldn’t come up with something better, or I’d have-”

At this point, he was just blabbering random things, so Nesta raised her head and let him see the tears streaking down her face.

Cassian’s face scrunched up in a teary grimace too and he opened his arms wide for her to jump right into them. She sobbed into his chest, the weight of the day hitting her like a brick wall, and she let herself be lulled as he ran his hand through her hair and told her just how much he loved her.

It wasn’t until both their phones went off that they realised the time to leave for the airport had come.

Nesta got up, her head feeling like someone had poured lead into it, and wiped her cheeks, noticing only then that Cassian had been silently crying too. He smiled through the tears at her, no real happiness behind one of the things she loved the most about him, and he lifted a hand to her face, cradling her cheek kindly.

They looked each other in the eye for a beat and then they started getting ready.

She wasn’t sure how she was gonna sleep in this bedroom without him snoring softly next to her, holding her tight through the night, but she would have to manage on her own, one way or the other.

They drove to the Velaris Airport in complete silence, Cassian’s hand never leaving Nesta’s across the console and right before getting out of the car, they shared one last glance, breaking into tears once again, laughing right after for the other’s reaction.

They had promised themselves they would spend just a few minutes in front of the security controls, saying their goodbyes at home, in their bubble, but right then, holding onto each other like they were never to be met again, Nesta found it hard to let go.

Cassian was gripping her like he never had before and she jerked when he whispered in her ear. “Did you bring it with you?”

Knowing he was referring to the book, she just nodded. He didn’t need to know she’d take it everywhere she’d go from now on.

“Good, because the first letter is for when you’re alone after leaving me here. You can read it in the car.”

She didn’t care.

She didn’t wanna leave him.

Cassian’s breath trembled as he tightened his grip on her. “Babe, I…” he sniffed, “I really need to go now.”

Nesta shook her head. No.

“Yes,” he laughed humorlessly. He tried to take a step back and she followed, taking one forward. “Okay,” he murmured in her hair, “one more minute.”

So they stood there, surrounded by people running to their gates or their loved ones, waiting to get back home or start a whole new chapter of their life completely. Cassian was about to join them. Nesta would be going home by herself. And then the tragedy would begin.

They kissed under the flickering lights of the airport and finally, as they both kept on shedding tears, they parted and Nesta waited until she couldn’t see him anymore beyond the gates and only then did she walk away.

She felt as if she’d just lost a limb.

She knew that feeling wouldn’t last forever, but the wound was just being torn in her heart in the moment and she didn’t care who saw her violently sobbing, trying to contain her pain as she made her way to the parking lots.

The second she got in her car, she didn’t hesitate and took the book from her bag.

She wiped her eyes, hoping it would help with the blurring somehow, but it only got worse. So she waited for the crying to stop.

Once it became clear that she couldn’t, she cursed and opened it anyway, trying to read throw the tears.

Hey sweetheart. I know you’re crying right now, I'm sure I'll be doing the same, so don't worry. It's tearing my soul apart not being there with you right now, but remember that I love you and that I'm just a phone call away. It's only been a few minutes and I already miss you terribly. I love you. I love you. I'll call you as soon as I land.

I love you, again.

Today’s video was him cooking simple chocolate chips pancakes. Her favourite.

Nesta read it and reread it a million times, and watched the video just as much, feeling as if her lungs couldn’t get in enough air. But she realised something as she drove home.

Cassian had given her something to look forward to every day, till the day he came back to her.

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