#not an actual vacation bc my six months was this this month and now i get time off but its the end of the year so my boss gave me a week

[phoelipop]

Im getting the week between Christmas and New Year off and man I am soooo so so ready for a beak... i cant wait!

#phoe speaks #gotta mak it through today tomorrow and half of saturday #not an actual vacation bc my six months was this this month and now i get time off but its the end of the year so my boss gave me a week #not to mention that week after christmas everything feels so #not real lmao i dont really wanna do anything so this is perfect #as long as i work a traditional job i gotta continue to take that week (also my bday) off!

[naeviskz]

genre. idol!hyunjin x model!f!reader | established relationship

words. 1.5k+ tags/warnings. angst, fluff (towards the end), smut, accusations of cheating, hj is lowkey toxic (but we love it hehe), cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, some mentions of crying, not proofread

this has been in my drafts for years and i finally finished it bc i was tired of seeing it LMAO. btw the position i’m referring to is this (nsfw link), i usually hate vids but this was rlly good imo.

“i think we should take a break...” you admit, voice growing shakier as you spoke. this was never something you wish to say in a million years, you wanted this relationship to work more than anything. but you were at your wits end with everything, talking to hyunjin was like conversing with the wall, never truly grasping any of your concerns.

you noticed the cracks beginning to seep in the midst of six months of being with him. he would often be dishonest of his whereabouts, saying he was out late due to “work” but was actually out drinking at some bar with chan or something. it made no sense for him to lie about such trivial things but he does it without even thinking. this was supposed to be a lovely vacation in paris together but lately you’ve grown tired of feeling like you’re unappreciated. a break from each other might be the best solution in getting his act together once and for all.

hyunjin felt his whole body turn limp as you uttered those words. not only was he blindsided by your decision, but you never indicated before to him that you were ready to propose such a drastic idea. “but why though? don’t you think this is a bit random? i mean this came out of nowhere ___, i thought everything was good between us, why are you suddenly saying this now?” his thick, bushy brows furrowed in confusion, he wasn’t letting you off this easy and you know it.

“i just think it’s for the better right now hyune, we’re both so busy. we have a lot on our plate, especially you… and this relationship is just— it’s only putting more strain on everythi-”

“are you serious ___? do you hear yourself? i knew what i was getting myself into the day i asked you to be my girlfriend. i’m well aware that i can’t be with you 24/7, and neither can you—however, i don’t expect that anyway. all i ever wanted was to have you by my side, i want to work through the hardships with you but if you’re so willing to give up like this then… i don’t know. i don’t even know what to say to this honestly..” hyunjin couldn’t help but cut you off, once his emotions take over, all sense of logic and reasoning is thrown out the window.

he was never one to question his worth in the eyes of his partner, but you were his longest relationship, he saw you as his first and only true love. it never occurred to him that he could lose you, the possibility of this break lasting long enough to make your love fade away was a scary revelation. there had to be a way he could fix this, he couldn’t bear to be without you.

“are you seeing someone else? maybe that’s why you’ve been so distant towards me lately…” he wanted to scream for saying that out loud but at least he got it off his chest. he knows how petty it sounds but he didn’t care, he wanted you to give him answers.

“no! i’m not seeing other people, i don’t have an interest in anyone but you hyunjin. i want to do this for the sake of us, we’re clearly not where we need to be and this break could help with getting us back on track and spending time apart could be beneficial.” you try your best to articulate your words properly but he remained unconvinced, he wasn’t on board with any bit of this.

how could you even be okay with something like this? spending time away from you drove him absolutely insane, he couldn’t fathom taking a break—not from someone as important as you in his life. he just needed to remind you that the love was still there, though it may be but a dull flame, he could ignite the spark again, with the little bit of hope he had left.

the foundation of your relationship was built from shared interests, since you both are part of professions that rely heavily on looks, you refused to see each other based solely off those superficial aspects. instead you got to know each other’s minds, your core values and beliefs, what mattered to you the most. you cherished every one of those deep conversations you shared together, it was a beautiful experience, an indescribable memory that shaped your bond forever.

so why is it now that you feel this way? was he really that oblivious to everything? he should’ve done more to prevent this but now he fears it’s too late. he’s faced with the conundrum of losing you and there wasn’t much time for him to stall or ask for a chance of redemption, he couldn’t waste another second.

“fuck that,” hyunjin angrily spat, his face contorting into a look of pure disgust. “you’re not going anywhere.” he reaches out to grab your waist before you could walk away, aggressively pulling you into his chest.

no matter how much you attempt to escape his hold, he’s not letting you go in the slightest. he’s much stronger than you, could easily lift you up without breaking a sweat. there was no use in fighting, you had no choice but to give in and let this conversation go. once his lips crashed into yours, everything faded to black. as if a simple kiss was the cure-all of mending this decrepit relationship.

hyunjin’s forehead pressed against yours as he pulled away, “shhh, lye down baby,” he hushes your quiet mewls, instructing you to do as he says. “gonna make you feel so good,” his hands slid under your skirt, gently rubbing over your clothed slit “you’ll forget everything.”

* :.･ﾟﾟ･ ✿

“oh my- fuckk, hyunjin!” you cry out, almost on the verge of tears just from how skilled he is, rutting your hips upwards into his mouth as he devours you whole.

the pace of his tongue is relentless, roughly lapping up all your juices like he’s the most starved man alive. you’ve lost count at the amount of times he’s already made you come undone just from his mouth alone. your body’s buzzing with titillation, all you can do is scream and clench your pussy around nothing while he fiercely sucks on your clit.

you couldn’t stop twitching, feeling yet another orgasm approaching. your legs anchored over his shoulders, unable to think or speak coherent sentences as his face was fully buried into your dewy cunt. he relaxes his jaw a bit more, going all the way from the bottom inching further up as he comes back in contact with your puffy clit. at any given moment it feels as if your heart’s about to stop.

“hyunjin-” your heads thrown back into the pillow, digging your nails into his shoulder blades from how overly sensitive you are. “n-need to cum.. can feel it. m’so close.” it surprises you when you’re able to even express such words.

a low grunt can be heard underneath, hyunjin loves hearing you— it’s arguably the best part about going down on you. the hand that wasn’t occupied went straight to gripping a fistful of his ebony hair, continuously moaning his name so loud that you genuinely feel bad for whomever the unlucky people that got to hear this.

just when you thought it couldn’t get anymore intense, he slips 2 of his slender fingers inside, making you gasp from the overwhelming sensation. flashes of white invade your vision, violently shaking as your lips form an “o” in the throes of ecstasy. hyunjin knows your body so well that this is nothing for him, he’s got it all down to a simple science. no one knows your body like he does, and especially no one can make you cum as hard as he can.

“go ahead, make a mess for me baby,” he strongly encourages, picking up his pace as his digits fuck into you faster. “just gonna clean it up with my tongue all over again.”

your eyes roll back to the depths of oblivion, feeling an out of body experience when reaching your climax. a slew of curses leave your shaky breath, limbs trembling and faint tears stain your flushed cheeks. hyunjin slows his movements, rubbing his thumb over your clit gently to make you even more sensitive. you love the way he calls you “good girl” and how proud the look on his face becomes while you ride out your orgasm on his fingers. he doesn’t stop showering you with compliments, only ramping up his affection as he plants fleeting kisses to your thighs, hips, and tummy.

once he’s finally come back up for air you grab his face to pull him into your lips again. moaning in his mouth while getting a taste of yourself was probably the hottest thing hyunjin’s ever witnessed.

“can’t believe you’re all mine.” hyunjin whispers against you, gently massaging your aching thighs. “i love you so much baby.”

“love you too hyune.” you instantly say back, feeling more at ease now that things are somewhat back to normal.

maybe a break isn’t necessary after all, how else would you be able to have such earth shattering orgasms?

- 完 ♡︎

#hyunjin angst #skz angst #skz x reader #hyunjin x reader #skz scenarios #skz smut #skz drabbles #stray kids smut #hyunjin smut #hyunjin imagines #hwang hyunjin smut #skz imagines #hyunjin drabbles #hyunjin x female reader #stray kids x reader

[sanstropfremir]

✨🎥! Long time no see! How are you? I can’t believe it’s been almost 6 months since I last wrote. How have you been in those months? Mine were kinda crazy. Until June I had a hectic schedule: I worked on different film funds (regional, national and international) for pretty much every project that we have. We included a new one from a Singaporean auteur that has the fattest brain ever and criticises the government in a coming of age that mixes gangs and lesbians (absolutely lovely), as well as a new Spanish sci-fi with a twist (still on the early stages so hopefully it’ll grow to its full potential). I also got a skin allergy reaction to who the fuck knows what and I had to be on meds and steroids for a month 💀. On the bright side I went to the Perfume concert in London with a friend and had a lovely week of vacation in Vienna, where I found Key and Sunmi’s cds (Bad Love and Can’t sit with us) so obvs I had to buy them.

I would’ve liked to enjoy the SHINee comeback more, but I was kinda braindead so I still have lots of videos to watch.

Now I’m on holidays again, for this week and the next, and I’m trying to find an affordable apartment that is not shit so I can move out of my dad’s house. But landlords are absolutely insane and most of the places are garbage, so we’ll see how that goes

OMG HIIIIII I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU!!!!!!

so glad to hear from you, i also can't believe it's been almost six months 💀. im ok! im actually back home in canada staying with my parents rn on a health sabbatical, but im doing much better now being on some new meds and with my new therapist! also it's nice to be home, i really missed the pets. been taking it very slow, currently working part time at a family friend's flower shop and not really making a ton of art, but i did get into leatherworking lmao.

omg you have to keep me updated on when those films get release dates bc they sound dope as hell!! i actually scoped around the kpop section of a chain record store here and they had THE worst selection possible, except somehow: one single ghost9 album. literally the only flop group album they had, i was so surprised. im gonna scope around some more to see if i can find any key albums anywhere, since it's significantly easier to find kpop stuff here.

totally understand the housing strife, im very glad to be staying with my parents rn bc the rent prices in the pnw are so fucking bad, it's so depressing

#the way i got jumpscared by the bts ad on the door of the korean grocery store...... #have to remember that at least there IS a korean grocery store #i really was just thinking of you!! i have a favour to ask!! #actually this goes out to any of my spanish speaking followers but if you/somebody is willing to dm me i have something i need translated #its a note that was given to my grandma in the 50s by a guy she met in bruges #and we just found it going thru her stuff and i dont think its actually seen the light of day since the 50s lmao #and nobody in my family speaks spanish lmao #it might be in argentinian spanish also? we really have no idea google gave us a passable translation but we'd like to have a better one #anyways. very extremely glad to hear from you im glad youre doing good! #✨🎥 anon #text #answers

[3pirouette]

Thank you to @captainjimothycarter who reached out and let me know the Steggy Secret Santa was happening earlier this year. If you haven't signed up yet, you should!

I have been notably absent for a while. If you're nosy (like I am) and want to know, reasons are below. TW for medical/Doctor issues...

TL:DR though is I'm pretty much OK, may have a Thyroid issue and the doctor I've been seeing is completely horrible, but I'm OK.

So, it started about 6 months ago when I got reprimanded by my OBGYN for not having a primary doctor. She found this out because I had found out my Dad had a genetic something-or-other that meant it was much more likely he'd get blood clots (He's had 2, and my uncle died from one). I asked her opinion about getting tested (as I'm overweight, about to turn 40, and was on birth control.) She told me I needed to stop my BC and get tested right away and find a PCP.

I go to the hematologist. I thankfully test negative.

In the meantime, I get referred to a new PCP (my previous one retired in the MIDDLE of the pandemic in 2020... thanks.) who my friend said was great. I had to wait almost 2 months for a new patient appointment, but I figured between me having no issues I knew about, the summer, and her having a really popular practice that it would be ok.

She was alarmed by my family history of cardiac issues and recommended I see a cardiologist. She also gave me a prescription for basic bloodwork.

Now, I remind you all that in GENERAL I feel fine. I've been steadily gaining weight despite exercising a lot and have a lot of fatigue, poor sleep, and mild self-diagnosed anxiety and depression, but I was attributing all of that to poor diet, the pandemic, and stress at work. So, I waited three weeks because of a family vacation to get my blood work done.

The bloodwork comes back in 4 days with MULTIPLE abnormals.

The bloodwork came back right before my meeting with the cardiologist AND a new nutritionist. The cardiologist looked at me, my history (He treats my father who has the most issues in my family, so he knew my history WELL) and the blood work and he ran a few tests in office. He wants to see my cholesterol drop (it was high but JUST out of range) in the next six months, otherwise if I'm not having issues he didn't need to see me again.

The nutritionist (did I mention she's new? Because the other one I started seeing in the spring said not only should i get a new job if my current schedule was making me make bad choices, but that "losing weight is easy. Celebrities do it for movies all the time." I kid you NOT.) So, the new nutritionist looked at my bloodwork, stated that some of my issues could be stemming from some of the abnormal values (notably my TSH/thyroid hormone) but we worked on a plan to get my eating habits on track.

After a WEEK of not hearing from the PCP office I called them and asked if I can make an appointment to review my lab work. I had to CALL THEM. I had to wait from Sept 6 to Sept 22nd JUST to get a telehealth appointment. That she was 15 minutes late for. AND she didn't address my concerns about my WILDLY high TSH, but focused on all the other things I told her the cardiologist and nutritionist had already gone over with me. I also had abnormal liver values- but I also believe based on some of my research that can be caused by the TSH. Again, she did NOT address my concerns about my TSH.

She said we should do more bloodwork. Perfect. let's get more information so we can find out what is actually going ON. Except after a week the new prescription for the bloodwork isn't on the patient portal. So I call them and they say i can't access through my phone, only a PC or Laptop. So I have to wait until the next day to look again. it's still not there. So I have to call them and they say that they sent it to Labcorp. So I call Labcorp and they don't HAVE IT. So then I call them back and they are going to PUT IT IN THE MAIL for me. I can't go pick it up, they are going to PUT IT IN THE MAIL. After ANOTHER week I call them up and THIS person on the phone is like, "Well, you didn't get it yet? Do you want to just wait?" NO. No I don't Want to JUST WAIT. So then SHE says she can put it on the PORTAL. All told, I had to wait until October 18th (From a Sept 22 appt) to get my second blood draw.

My results came in (Still abnormal on some tests, others normal) on October 22nd. Today is November 1st and I STILL haven't heard from my doctors.

I've made an appointment for next week to get a new primary care doctor. I'm done with this woman and her office. I do NOT feel cared for at all. if my TSH is abnormal it could be the cause of a lot of the symptoms I'm having that I didn't even realize were symptoms. I do not want to wait anymore and I'm APPALLED.

But anyway- that's why I haven't been around. I've been absolutely depressed and frustrated about this situation. And I think my fatigue and inability to function (which in hindsight has slowly gotten worse) has also shown up in my inability to focus on my writing over the last year.

But, yeah.

Fingers crossed for the new guy next Wednesday.

[1d1195]

SAM MY LOVE PLEASE DONT FEEL LIKE YOUR RESPONSE WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!! I honestly don’t care how long they may be, like the fact that you’re even acknowledging my asks is already so special to me! So if you ever don’t have the energy to answer, you really don’t have too! I won’t be hurt because you’re well being is far more important ❤️I’m sorry you were feeling a bit off :( I hope you felt better or are feeling better! Hopefully you don’t get sick right before your break!

Also side note when you mentioned sneakers with a wedding dress TELL ME WHY WHEN I THINK OF MILLENNIALS I THINK OF THIS! Like you mentioned side part and I didn’t even think to associate them with that up until this whole GenZ vs Millennial comparisons started to become a thing lol

ANWAYS now let me express my LOVE for toothpaste part 2! Once again you wrote such a good part! And omg this MC is BOLD bc I would actually EXPLODE from the embarrassment if I said that my dentist😭 but honestly I don’t blame her because if my dentist was Harry I would be so down bad it’s not a joke 😭 I loved how we got to read Harry’s pov from reading her file and seeing her for the first time! Ugh it was so cute like you know I love how obsessed each of your Harry’s are with their pairs! AND I LOVE WHEN HARRY GETS FLUSTERED!! It just does something to me that I love when the MC’s do that to him 🤭 AND THAT LAST LINE SAM I CRACKLED AHAH

So good bestie! Hope you are treating yourself well! -💜

NO BUT I LOVE SENDING YOU THOUGHTFUL MESSAGES.

I'm feeling fine! I have semi-chronic stomach issues. I think I (knowingly) ate something that I shouldn't have. It really didn't sit well with me. BUT I feel fine now 😂 BUT REALLY I ALWAYS GET SICK ON OR BEFORE VACATIONS. Ever since I was little. Fortunately I will only get my period during break this year. Lucky me 🙄 Pollen season is upon us though which will be stellar too ☠

I try not to do a whole lot of millennial/gen-z comparisons if I can help it but I will probably be buried in skinny jeans and I would rather be bald than do a middle part 😂 That's so interesting about the wedding dress and sneakers thing! I didn't really think of it as a millennial thing. I meant it as a me thing hahahahaha mainly because I used to DESPISE heels. I had some structural damage to my ankles due to sports and anything with a heel terrified me because I was scared of snapping my ankle again hahahaha but like I said last time, I'm such a wedge girl now so I would probs wear heels at my wedding.

SO glad you liked Toothpaste! I tried to write a version of myself I wish I could be (just slightly bolder than my current self I think--she was still a whiny baby last time about her toothache which was so me). I would never flirt with my dentist either--maybe if he was Harry, that I agree 💕 I have great ammo for my next part after my own trip to the dentist. I know it's part of his job but this man really stuck his whole finger in my mouth and massaged my cheeks and lips around my gum line. It's hard to explain but I either don't remember him doing it the other recent times I've been to the dentist or if I was paying closer attention since I was thinking about Toothpaste the whole time. Honestly it was hilarious when he did it, I was lucky I didn't laugh. Too bad I'll be making it sexual for Toothpaste and probably make it harder on myself when I have my next appointment in six months 😂 I love to make men flustered in general. Always keep them guessing, ya know? 🤭😉

Speaking of men, how is our hot TA?

I am def going to be treating myself to a shopping trip that I cannot afford but I don't care. I am in the mindset (for this weekend) that I am here for a short time and I need to enjoy myself while I can and the money will come back eventually.

Hope you have an amazing weekend and you get to do something fun again! 💕💕

xoxo

#💜

[logicallyphan]

I need to ask you guys something and I need to know if I’m being dramatic or not. Sorry advance for the super long post RE my job life atm! Also please do not reply to the post. Just anon or message pls!!

I’ve been at my job for four and a half years now and its taking a toll on me,mentally. My boss is telling me that while im doing good, im not doing enough, leadership wise. the younger staff I work with don’t listen to me, let alone him. I work at a store that is mainly for 15-25 year olds so our younger staff is made up of that age group… which I do fall into but more towards the latter end.

There is little to no respect in that place. I have tried everything to get them to listen to me as I’m a shift lead and they just don’t care and im stuck doing their job PLUS my own. And on top of that it’s a consignment like shop, meaning for 4 and a half years I’ve had to decide if something is good enough for us to sell and if it’s not I basically have to tell them it’s not good enough. It’s awful. People get so upset over things that I have little to no control over.

But back to my point. My boss has been picking on me for the littlest of things lately. Him misreading my handwriting when my math was 100% accurate and he’s read it for years at this point. Him telling me I need to tell the girls to do more when I can only put out so much stock or clean so much before the job is done. Like all this little stuff that I can’t control.

And with the younger staff not listening to me, I’ve had to lie to them and told them the boss made a check list to follow when actuality I made it because they don’t want to listen. I ask them to do stuff and half the time they won’t do it! So guess who ends up doing it… me. And then my boss tells me to stop doing everyone’s job bc they’re standing around but it’s like I asked them and they just ignored me.

Idk I just feel like all my complaints and respect is ignored. And if I’m honest with you guys… this is the worst my mental health has been in a long ass time. I know for a fact it’s bc of this damn job. I fought to get this job for years and now that I’ve had for 4 and half years? I fucking hate it now.

I mean yeah sure it gave me great work experiences and I’ve made some friends and paid me great (doesn’t anymore lmao my vacation was paid for last year but not this year for no reason), it’s not worth it anymore. I feel like it went from the best job to the worst.

I should’ve left last year but I quit my second job after two weeks of working there bc I fucking hated it even more bc it was just fixing shoe displays for FOUR HOURS A DAY!???? I thought it would be more but nope. Anyways, here I am legit a month a way from vacation trying to find a new job asap and pray to god they give me the time off for it.

And lmao I kinda feel bad for my boss for doing this to him but like at the same time I don’t care. The only reason I feel bad is bc all staff but legit one person will be gone by September. Other than that, I’m over his bullshit. Depending on me to open the store, five days a week for two straight years but then not give me full time hours (I’m only 30 hours a week, most full time where I am is 40 hours and I am not aloud to go past 36 per week at this job) and no options for benefits??? The fuck? It’s bullshit. I’m scared he’s not gonna let me finish up once I give my two weeks bc he’s petty like that.

I’ve given my all to something that I can’t even love anymore bc it’s worn me down to the point where I cry coming home once a week or more. Am I dramatic?? Or is it really that bad? I look back at a year ago and even then I don’t remember it being as bad as it is now. I remember just needing a second job for the money, not bc I hated my job. Something has shifted in six months to make me just hate it so much. And yes, I am aware that everyone hates their job at some point, but like, I shouldn’t come home crying after work all the time.

Pls note, it isn’t simple as reporting my boss to HR… he’s the owner and manages every aspect of our store down to accounting lol. I have nobody to report him to.

Thank you for coming to my life story. Pls like, comment and subscribe and don’t forget to click that follow button.

(I’m sorry for that… I just had to make myself giggle after writing all this)

#rant #sorry for the rant

[hula-zombie]

Get To Know Me - 2022

Tagged by @soulanii. Thank you, dear! 💜

🎨 Favourite Color: robin egg blue, and pastel pink

📖Currently Reading:  'Rules Of Magic' by Alice Hoffman. It’s a prequel to ‘Practical Magic’ which is next on the docket to read.

🎶Last song you listened to: A Concert Six Months From Now

🍽Sweet/Savory/Spicy: It honestly depends on the mood, but I can always vibe with something spicy 🌶️

Currently Working On:

✨Sims Wise: I started playing a NSB2, and I was thinking about sharing it but I may keep it to myself. It’s just so much grinding, and while fun, not much to share? Otherwise, super excited to complete Dani’s challenge and start her BC! 🎉

🤫Real Life: LOTS of changes, and making lemonade where I can. So, impromptu vacation in April to the happiest place in the world, seeing Tori Amos in May (ima lose my mind), and then I have a work conference this summer that I’m actually going to be presenting at?? Like, who is she? I’m figuring that out lol  

Tagging: @berryconfetti, @stargazingsims,  @thefundiesims, @simsstuph @goodnightlittlewing, and @simsimulation

Please ignore if you've already done it or just don't want to! No pressure 💜

#get to know me #text post #tag game #non-tickling #but kinda sims?

[antiloreolympus]

6 Anti LO Asks

1. You know, wouldn’t it be good conflict if the underworld was actually bad to Persephone and was actually slowly killing/poisoning her? Because not only would it give reason as to why she’d have to spend time away from it for six months (for her own safety/life) but also add some actual weight to her relationship to hades and her wanting to be with him despite the odds and threat to herself, as well as some needed tragedy and bittersweetness that makes HxP such an enduring relationship. But I doubt that will happen, Rachel seems more hellbent on making sure the Underworld is the best place ever and absolutely nothing negative must be associated with it, so the red eyes and her “smelling of death” (weird flex but ok) is nothing but another wasted idea of caring more about cheap “girl boss” aesthetics than actually putting thought and actual stakes in this story.

2. Just a rant, but when Persephone calls Artemis to tell her about Apollo and then hangs up before explanation, that’s fine it’s hard to do those things, but to go shopping and make out with the boss after that is just cringe writing in my opinion. And then turn his sorta ex into a plant. (I know they broke up BUT you get like a 30 day window in my book before it’s official official)

3. thats also what i dont get??? isnt rachel a kiwi??? why is LO so american for? and im american! even pjo and hadestown take place in america or american settings and yet still stay closer to the mythology than LO does, and its supposed to be in actual greece!

4. Does anyone do work in LO? Like everyone seems to laze around, doing fuck all and not actually managing their aspects or controlling humanity or anything. Hades doesn't do shit, Persephone doesn't do shit, Hera doesn't do shit. The universe must be a fucking MESS since all the gods are on infinity vacation.

5. I think that red and pink can look good together, but when they are in good shades. the shade of persephone - is darker and more colder pink that dont look very good with this red.

6. what'ss the pom theory? is it that shes going to eat the pom at the trial be like AHAHA YOU CANT JAIL ME NOW IM THE QUEEN or something? bc i honestly wouldnt put it past rachel to pull something that stupid because her deluded fans are already fine excusing mass murder as "girl power" and hades' manipulation on persephone as "cute and romantic" so pulling some wild deus ex machina to get persephone out of jail via fertility nuking fruit definitely isnt out of the realm of possibilities here 😑

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lo critical #lore olympus critical

[pappierus]

A Big, Fat, Disastrous, Idiotic Mistake // Nozel Silva

...5.4k words :/

(i wrote this on wattpad, not copying, just moved it here bc i liked the tumblr community a lot better)

erm ye. enjoy?

------------

You made a mistake.

You made a big, fat, disastrous, idiotic mistake.

You'd made this mistake nearly six months before, and it was still haunting you to this day.

You decided to be a member of the Silver Eagle Squad.

Why was this a big, fat, disastrous, idiotic mistake, you may ask?

"Wow, I didn't think a commoner would last this long in this place, congratulations!"  your superior chuckled a s you walked out of your room, your superior chuckled.

Well, because you were a commoner in a squad full of arrogant noblemen.

____

You're not sure why Captain Nozel chose you in the first place; you were the one he despised the most. Even your breathing irritated him — not that you felt any differently about him, of course.  

He was without a doubt the most evil person on the face of the earth, w ith his menacing purple eyes and demonic braided hair.

Evil.

You were strong, and you worked hard to gain even the tiniest bit of his approval, but no matter how hard you tried, he dismissed you with a sneer.

Even now, when your squad reported to him after completing a mission, retrieving a fortune, and saving hundreds of lives, the majority of which was due to your magic—which your squad leader, bless him, pointed out—he still rolled his eyes when your name was mentioned. Which you took offence to and glared at him angrily, which he matched for the remainder of the brief meeting.

When your squad leader finished the report, he hummed his approval and dismissed you all, so you ended your glaring match and walked away.

You felt sick by even being in the same room with him.

yep, a big, fat, disastrous, idiotic mistake.

____

For the third time, you loudly knocked on Captain Silva's big office door, hurting your knuckle in the process. You knew he was in there because he never leaves unless he's on a mission, being the workaholic and perfectionist he was.

You didn't come here voluntarily, oh no, you would never.

You had to request a day or two off from your captain since your sister was getting married, she wanted you to be the best maid, and you were not going to miss your baby sister's wedding for the world.

Due to said circumstances, you were forced to endure the agony of seeing his face once more, or at least the part of his face that wasn't obscured by that unusual braid.

You were beginning to wonder who told him it was a good idea to style his hair like that, the devil? Because it was not, in fact, a good idea, but it was the braid that saved you the trouble of looking at his entire face. you began to wonder; did he braid it himself?

You laughed to yourself at the thought of your enraged captain braiding his hair like a little girl in front of a mirror, but your thoughts was cut off by the devil himself.

"How long do you intend to laughing to yourself like a lunatic?" When the door opened, you looked up to see your captain staring down at you with his trademark sneer on his lips. And with that, you smile vanished.

"sorry, I was just having a funny thought." you said, rubbing the back of your neck in embarrassment. He gave you a blank stare.

Great, you reasoned, he thinks I'm crazy, just another excuse to despise me.

"What do you want?" he asked. "Or do you enjoy wasting my time?" he snarled.

rude, you thought.

rude, you thought.

"Hey! I had to knock on the door three times before you heard me. My hand hurts." you said, it wasn't uncommon of you to talk back to the captain, you had a short temper and he had a large ego.

you said, it wasn't uncommon of you to talk back to the captain, you had a short temper and he had a large ego.

"You did?" he asks, and you gape at him, because he heard you laughing softly to yourself ( quietly, may I add) but not you pounding on the door? "Shut your mouth, it's incredibly rude."

''you're one to talk'' you mumbled under your breath.

"Mumbling is rude" he sneered, disapprovingly looking at you, "I don't like repeating myself, what do you want?"

You were so irritated that you almost forgot why you came here. You took a deep breath in and out to relax, then resumed speaking.

"Captain, I have a question for you." You said something, he rolled his eyes and went into his office; you followed behind him, not having time to properly look around but judging by his desk, he was certainly busy, almost making you feel bad for bothering him.

"You see, my sister's wedding is coming up in a few days, and I was invited to attend—" you sensed his glare but continued to talk, "-but I need to take a day off to do so." You finished quickly and waited for a response.

"Your vacation days aren't for another two weeks." "You're asking me if you should leave your duties to attend a party?" he said after a brief pause.

He said it as if it were the most ridiculous suggestion ever made.

"It's not just a party! It's a wedding reception! They're very serious."

"I'm sure anything like this will be thrilling to a commoner—"

"excuse me?  It has nothing to do with mme being a commoner; if you got married, wouldn't you want your siblings to attend?" you questioned, hands clenched.

"Well, I'm sure my wedding will actually be important—" he dismissively said.

"And this isn't important?" you cut him off. "Oh right, I forgot, I wouldn't understand because I'm a commoner,"   You said it jokingly, but you were truly offended. Nozel's eyes softened slightly as if noticing, but you were too upset to notice.

Nozel composed himself, "precisely, I'm so glad you understand-"

"I doubt you could ever get married anyway." you mumbled, you expected him to say something typical like 'mumbling is rude', but he heard you clearly.

"what's that supposed to mean?" he seethed, stepping closer in an attempt to intimidate you.

"I mean, I doubt any woman would willingly get married to you!" you yelled, your words seemed to anger him more.

"Oh please, no sane man would ever stay in a relationship with you," he spat back, rolling his eyes, and pinching his temples, "i shouldn't be wasting my breath on such a worthless commoner"

Worthless commoner...

why every argument you had ended with him calling you a worthless commoner?

yep... a big, fat, disastrous, idiotic mistake.

Both of you were angry, you hadn't intended for the conversation to yet again be another petty argument, but you should've known it wouldn't be easy convincing your captain to do anything.

You were both mad; you hadn't intended for the discussion to devolve into yet another petty argument, but you should've known it would be difficult to persuade your captain to do anything.

"Please, it's important to me..."  lowering your voice in the hopes that just being nice would sway him, but he simply glared at you. you sighed and your shoulders slumped, admitting defeat.

You turned away to leave when you heard your captain sigh behind you, "I'll give you the day off," you snapped back up and turned to face your captain, who avoided your gaze, "...but I'm taking away your next holiday."

You sighed once more, knowing that there would be a catch, but you were grateful nevertheless.

"Thank you!" you yelled, Nozel flinched from the volume, you were so happy you could almost hug him.

For once, you saw the captain in a less evil light.

"Are you trying to make my ears bleed" he yelled "Why are you still in my office, get out!"

...never mind.

______

"Did I allow you to speak with me, (Y/N)?" You were unfazed by your captain's snide remarks because you had grown accustomed to them.

"It was just a question. You're so sensitive, yikes",  I mumbled.  His head snapped towards me  

"I'm not sensitive, and you should know, mumbling is rude, " he glared at you.

you stared at him intently, at first, he tried to ignore your gaze but it soon became too obvious. he sighed, rubbing his temples,"What do you want?"

"For you to answer my question," you said bluntly, your eyes narrowing as you awaited his response.

"No, it was an idiotic question." he said, rolling his eyes, "now, go away." he ordered.

You didn't, instead continuing to look at him; he tried to ignore you again, but your stare became too distracting for him; why? He didn't have a clue. Normally, he'd threaten an annoying member of his team.

He glared at you and asked, "Is there something on my face?"

you tilted your head with a grin, unfazed by his glare, "yep."

his eyes widened in horror, had he gotten food around his mouth? or maybe dirt? the idea of dirt on his face irritated him, but there was not mirror for him to check. it was vital that he was always presented as a noble at all times.

You chuckled at his panic; it was unusual for him to lose his composure, and it made you laugh that something on his face had caused him to panic, of all things. It was good to see him not be so serious, you had to admit.

You may be wondering why you and your captain were alone together, not fighting or even attempting to kill each other. You were selected to go on a mission with your squad of three, but due to the gravity of the situation, your captain and another squad were forced to intervene.

The majority of the task had been accomplished, but you and your team had underestimated the complexity of the building from which you were retrieving stolen goods, and as a result, a few of you got lost.

To make matters worse, some of the building had begun to crumble, obstructing the exit from which you and your captain had entered.

You considered using your magic to blow one of the walls open, but it would just cause more parts of the building collapsing, and the majority of your squad was also trapped inside.

So, you and Nozel had been locked in the same room for an hour and had grown tired of arguing, so you decided to break the silence by asking him about the large braid that covered his ears.

"Well?" he started,  "Are you going to tell me what's on my face?" Nozel asked impatiently, you chuckled and decided to mess with him because you and Nozel had made a sort of truce.  

"Let me help," you said, walking over to the much taller man and reaching your hands up to help.

you lifted the braid from his face, so it was no longer covering it, and smirked "there, much better."

you looked at him, you had never realized how attractive your captain truly was since you have never really seen his face, but he was indeed very attractive, you wondered why he covered his face all the time if he looked like that.

"What makes you think you have the right to touch me, " he spat, letting go of your wrist, "A commoner getting comfortable with a noble, ridiculous" he seethed.

"Here we go again," you muttered, feeling dejected. He had to spoil your fun with the noble chat, of course.

You gave up, frowning and walking away from him. Of course, this wasn't the first time he'd done anything like this, but it always bothered you that it didn't matter what you di,d because you were a commoner.

Isn't it possible that you should just be friends? Could he ask you simple questions like, "How was your day?" or "How are you doing this fine morning?"

'How did the wedding go?' When Nozel asked you a question, your head shot up and you turned to look at him sceptically. Maybe he was making fun of you, or maybe he had read your mind.

"Sorry?'' you asked in case you misheard him, he didn't look at you, but you knew that look of annoyance was directed at you as he rolled his eyes.

He grunted and turned away from you, adding, "I don't like repeating myself." But after a while, he repeated himself anyway, "How was the wedding?"

Although it was a simple question, it still shocked you, but you answered anyway ''Uh, I-It was good, and fun... thanks for asking'' you added at the end, his shoulders stiffened.

it was silent for a while, neither of you spoke. there was a sudden, awkward change of atmosphere, not used to the casual confrontation you had.

After a while, you asked, "Nozel, can I ask you a question?"

"Not another one-''

"It's not about your hair, I promise!" you told him, a little smile on your face, amused at how such a small matter could annoy him so much.

"Ask quickly," he ordered, making you anxious because you weren't sure you wanted the answer.

he noticed your hesitation ''Well...?''

''why did you raise your hand?'' you forced the question out, anticipating his snarky remark, "to be a part of the squad, i mean"

"I know what you mean," he snapped, but the expression on his face was unreadable, he looked at you for a long while, ''why would you ask such a stupid question. You were strong.''

Your gaze grew serious and you pursed your lips before saying, ''but you hate me.'' he matched your hard gaze, ''you've always hated me since i was a commoner. so why would you pick a commoner for your squad''

Your staring match turned into a glaring match, ''I already answered your question, because you were strong''

''liar,'' you scoffed, ''there were other strong commoners, some stronger than me, and you didn't pick them-''

''-Because they weren't like you,'' he sighed angrily.

"How?" you pestered.

"Why does it matter?"

"Because it does. how? you continued to ask, it got on his nerves.

"I saw something in you that I hadn't seen before." I had a gut feeling when I saw you that I wanted you on my squad by my s-"

He abruptly cut himself off, his eyes widening slightly as though he had noticed something. You, too, fell quiet. You hadn't expected his outburst, and you had to confess that for the first time since joining the team, a feeling of acceptance filled your chest.

it was you first time seeing Nozel so flustered, but he quickly straightened his back, ''I needed you in my squad under my leadership. what sort of captain would i be if i ignored your power for such a petty reason.'' he shook him head ''But it it may have been a mistake.''

His last remark felt like a pang to your chest, hurting you much more than you thought it should've, ''w-what?''

He immediately recognized the hurt look on your face, his words had never done that to you before, and he felt a cloud of guilt descend upon him, but before he could respond, you heard the distant shouts of your squad mates, who had found you.

if only you could take back that big, fat, disastrous, idiotic mistake.

________

You had kept your distance from the captain, choosing not to bother him any further. So, instead of your usual glaring match, you kept your head down while reporting a task to him. You didn't object when he made you work extra hours or took away your free time for no apparent reason. When he insulted you, you didn't even react.

You were unwelcome on this team, you hoped that by joining it, your reputation would improve. Although it did, the other members of your squad rarely picked fights with you, and the mean looks were not quite as bad as they had been when you first joined, your reputation with your captain remained the same, no matter how much you contributed.

he didn't know how to react, the person you were now was completely different to the (Y/N) he knew, and he was the reason behind it.

So, when you gave him the letter, he should've anticipated it. "What is this?" he asked, furiously reading it over and over, as if that would change what was written.

well maybe if you stopped talking and actually read it- you though, keeping your calm, cringing as he crumpled the letter you put extra effort in to make your handwriting all nice-

"It says-"

"-I know what it says, I can read," he said angrily, rising from his desk and staring at you incredulously. "You can't be serious, a squad change?" he asked fiercely.

"That's what i wrote" you said bluntly.

"-I know what you wrote!", he yelled, you flinched, not expecting him to get worked up over something like this.

''why are you so angry? Captain Roselei said i could join her squad by the end of the month if I still wanted to, i just need your approval-" you tried to explain.

"I know what she said, i read the letter-" he cut you off again' "and I don't care", he took a deep breath in and sat down again, pinching his temples. "I cant accept" he said.

You instantly grew annoyed, "What, why? You can't do that! -"

"Actually, i can. I can't have you leave my squad, what will happen if the other captains found out one my own members hated it so much, she had to leave. I'll look like a joke!" he yelled back.

"What? You'll have one less commoner on your squad, that good, right? It's not like you appreciate anything i do here anyway-"

"I already said-"

"Is it really so difficult for me to earn a little bit of approval from you, even if it's just a 'well done'? I just wanted to impress my Captain, but it's obvious that he doesn't want me here! You really didn't think this would happen, come on?" You said back your voice raising slightly.

"You can't be treated like a child here, i won't treat you like one-"

"I thought you would be happy" you muttered, "You said it, yourself, you made a mistake."

Something flashed across his eyes, but it was unclear what it was. His face softened, and he began, "(Y/N)...", but his words trailed off.

"It's all right, we both did." "I shouldn't have joined this team," you said, he scrunched his brows at your confession. "I regret it too.". After all this time of keeping it in, it felt nice to finally say it, but you quickly regretted it when you saw his expression.

You had never seen him upset, but it looked like you had hurt him. a part of you thought he deserved it, but another part of you ached to see him like that.

His sad expression faded quickly, and he was replaced by a stern one. He took another glance at the letter before crumpling it up into a ball and tossing it behind him carelessly, "Hey!" you were about to yell, your sympathy quickly replaced with anger.

He replied softly, "I'm sorry," but it wasn't about throwing the letter away, and it had you silent. "I made a mistake; I shouldn't have treated you that way." "I'm sorry for everything," he apologised once more. "I'd take it back if I could."

"Take what back, picking me?" you asked sadly, "I know-"

"No, not that," he said, his voice becoming softer. "I'm sorry for allowing myself to-" he stopped himself before looking at you, shaking his head and saying "forget it, you wouldn't understand... you can leave the squad if you want."

"No, not that. " he said, quieter. "I regret allowing myself to-" he stopped himself before looking at you, shaking his head and saying "forget it, you wouldn't understand... you can leave the squad if you want."

he waved his hand dismissively, but you weren't leaving, "help me understand. I'm not staying in this squad unless you give me a reason to stay." you stated firmly, and he looked at you with yet another blank expression.

"You wouldn't understand." he repeated and you were growing annoyed.

"Then I'll leave" you stated, waiting for some sort of reaction, but there was none. you stayed in the same spot, just waiting for him to try convince you not to go,.

but he didn't, you weren't sure what you expected, but with a defeated sigh, you turned to leave. there was no place for you here anyway.

as you reached the door you heard him ask quietly, "do you truly have no reason to stay?" you looked back at him, and despite his strong, cold facade, he seemed so vulnerable.

"What?" you asked.

"I don't like repeating myself," he said before repeating himself, "Is there no excuse for you to stay?" he asked. "Nothing?...No one?" he enquired hesitantly.

At that exact moment, the evil Captain you've been so desperate to escape from made your heart swell. There was someone, you think. But you shook your head, slapping yourself internally from the thought.

"What do you mean earlier, at or mission, that you didn't regret picking me?" you asked, dodging his question with one of your own, remembering what he said earlier.

"You're avoiding my question."

"Your avoiding mine" you said stubbornly, and he rolled his eyes, something that made you smile, and with a reluctant sigh he answered.

"I never regretted picking you. Not once." He snapped quickly, trying to get the topic over with.

"But you said-"

"I know what i said," he cut you off, again. he avoided your gaze, as if regretting bringing up this topic in the first place.

"I never regretted picking you for my squad, in fact I think it was one of the best decisions of my life." your heart stopped and you stared at him, it must've been hard for him to admit, as he looked down at the papers on his desk, about you didn't see the pink tint on his cheeks.

but rather than teasing him, you asked "Is that the truth?" and he continued to look away.

"Take it or leave it, it doesn't matter, i don't care." he said half-heartedly.

"should i stay?" You continued to press; a familiar mischievous spark rose from withing you.

"W-What? I don't care what you-"

" You didnt think i should leave earlier" you asked, pointing to the scrunched-up letter he threw away.

As much as Nozel tried to hide his embarrassment from his tantrum earlier, he couldn't hide the now obvious fact that he wanted- no, needed you here. he slowly looked up at you, wanting to glare but as soon as he spotted the blush on your cheeks, he couldn't retaliate.

after a minute of silence, he answered "It's the truth, what i said about you being on my squad" he admitted, and you felt your heart beat faster as you saw your captain in a strange new light.

"i told you already its your choice if you want to stay."

you rephrased the question, "do you want me to stay?"

When he saw you were being totally serious, his head shot up at you, his brows furrowed. His eyes opened, and he flushed red from ear to ear. He opened and closed his mouth several times, unable to come up with a response that would not further embarrass him.

"Just say yes or no, Nozel" you told him, noticing his flustered state, normally he would at once correct you to call him captain, but at this moment in time, neither of you cared.

You were not sure where your sudden change of heart started, but all you wanted to hear was on word, one simple word and you would be happy, and upon hearing his name roll of your tongue so causally, he knew exactly what he wanted.

"Yes."

his reply made the room fall to silence yet again.

he wanted you to stay?

"Please stay." he asked, as if answering your question and you weren't sure who the man in front of you was.

All you could do was stare at him, and he stared at you. his eyes were beautiful, you realized.

But eventually, the silence became too much to bear, and not knowing how to reply, you left his office holding your breath. He did not stop you, and watched you as you left.

Was talking to him a mistake?

_________

You foolishly assumed that talking to him would clear things up and convince you that you needed to leave, but you left with far more questions than before.

Everything you could think about was how much he wanted you to stay.

But why now, exactly? Why would he reveal anything right now?

You couldn't get the thoughts out of your head, so you buried yourself in work. You had until the end of the week to determine whether or not you wanted to stay.

"well done, all of you," Captain Nozel said to your team, and you met his gaze, but he averted his gaze first.

Despite the fact that he pretended the discussion never existed, he treated you differently, as though you were now on an equal level with him. you continued to stare at him with confusion, which would normally turn into a glaring battle between the two of you, but he avoided you gaze. The air felt heavy.

You shuffled nervously on your feet before being dismissed, and as the rest of the squad left, he called out your name, and you turned to look at him, heart racing, but he shut his mouth, as though at a loss for words.

"Yes?" You asked expectedly, he shook his head.

"I-... decent job today," he said, which admittedly surprised you and almost made you feel good.

"Thank you, Captain," you replied cortly.

What was the first thing he was going to say? You know you should probably leave, but your feet were firmly planted in place, and you wanted to ask if he had something else to say, maybe an explanation.

When he noticed your hesitation, he asked, "Is there anything you need?"

"Uhm... no, not necessarily," you said, forcing yourself to leave because you didn't want to be a burden any longer.

"Have you decided?" he asked abruptly as you reached the door. "I mean, if you want to stay."

You turned around again, but this time you chose not to look him in the eyes. "I think so, Captain.''

There was a silence, he obviously expected you to tell him your decision, but you couldn't, there was a lump in your throat that wouldn't let you speak.

Judging by the silence, the way you avoided his gaze and the fidgeting of you fingers, he knew what your choice was.

"I see..." he started, his voice laced with... sadness?

"I wish you the best, (Y/N)." he said shortly, there was more he wanted to say, much more, but he couldn't bring himself to say it.

you still didn't leave, and asked "Will you tell me the truth?", the question caught him off guard, and his eyebrows furrowed.

"The truth?" he asked, you met his gaze finally. it became harder nd harder to look into his lavender eyes.

"What is it that you regret? if it wasn't picking me?" you asked, recalling his outburst during your mission, but the continued to brush it off as something not important, but by the stiffening if his shoulders, you knew that was a lie. "If I'm leaving, can't you answer that one question?"

"...You're too stubborn for your own good." he dodged the question, but he held your gaze. He was right, you were stubborn, and by the look in your eye, he knew you weren't leaving without an answer.

"I suppose an explanation for my behavior is needed," and he turned away from you, not willing for you to see the blush on his face, and you smiled at his compliance.

"I didn't, as I've explained, regret picking you. I, I saw you and i knew i wanted you in my squad, but looking back on it, i regret being so selfish" he started.

selfish?

"... I knew as a captain i shouldn't have let my emotions influence my decisions, it was too irrational, to hasty. But i had what you call a gut feeling, that i would never regret picking you, having you by me, by my...by my side-" he paused, not sure if he should continue.

oh.

Your heart stopped beating, and as you tried to over analyze the meaning of his words, you knew that what he had confessed to you was that he-

by his side? you repeated in your head, you didn't dare to say anything out loud.

"I regret treating you the way i did, truly i do. i do not apologize often, (Y/N), but you deserve one. I am sorry for being so selfish. I just couldn't forgive myself for falling for my squad members, a commoner nonetheless." He admitted, and that is when you felt yourself hold your breath.

Captain Nozel, your captain... is he falling for you?

Is it possible that I'm falling in love with you?

You weren't expecting an apology, but this was unexpected. You hadn't asked for this when you asked for the truth. But it didn't bother you in the least. Was it as if this was what you... desired?

The devilish, arrogant, crude man you hated with all your heart had been in love with you, it was hard to wrap your head around, really, but what confused the most was why-

why did you feel happy?

" I thought it was horrible, really, a Captain, a noble, and a commoner. Perhaps that's why i treated you the way i did. I was ashamed." he said, and you felt yourself grow disappointed, your heart dropped slightly.

"Y-you were ashamed of me?" you said quietly, not anticipating you pathetic you sounded.

i knew it, you thought.

at the sound of your voice, he finally turned to look at you, "Of myself... I didn't care, but it didn't matter. if only i had known how pointless it was to- but i was too caught up with what i had been taught, i only now realize that it doesn't matter."

you didn't know whether to be happy or upset, angry or elated. Half of you felt giddy, the confession made your face grow hot and your heart beat faster, but the other half of you felt mad, mad at him for treating you that way when things could have been so different.

"Commoner or not, the feelings never went away. But I suppose it doesn't matter after all, you will be leaving soon." he said, his voice growing sad, and his lips turning into a soft smile.

You don't think he's ever smiled around you like that.

"Do you still regret falling in love with me?" you asked quickly, not knowing why you couldn't just leave.

He looked at you for a long time, before replying "...No, I don't. And i never will." he said.

"And what if i stayed?" you asked, "What would you do?"

would it be possible? How would your teammates react, his family, the nobles, if he dared pursue a relationship with a commoner.

"It doesn't matter." he brushed off, as if the conversation was now too much for him, "You're leaving"

"But what if i stayed?" you asked again, he stared at you for a long time.

you knew he was thinking carefully about what he should say, his eyebrows furrowed, he clenched and unclenched his fists multiple times, seemingly nervous. his cheeks were dusted with a light pink, and this time, you saw it.

Nozel was nervous, it was a sight you never though you would see, and it made you nervous too.

"then... woud..you" he mumbled and you couldnt hear what he had said, you were shocked by this more timid version of nozel.

"Mumbling is rude" you said in a cheeky voice, the atmosphere felt less tense as a smile found its way to both of your lips as you turned his own words on him. he met youreyes and saw the blush that also covered your cheeks.

"i said, then i would love you" he repeated with a newfound confidence, before walking towards you and closing the distance between the both of you.

_______

#black clover #black clover fanfiction #black clover fic #black clover x reader #nozel silva #nozel silva x reader #nozel silva fanfic #nozel silva fic #silver eagles #anime #fanfic #fanfiction

[gay-jesus-probably]

Time To Move To Canada

With the American presidential elections happening tomorrow, I feel like now would be a good time to give some information and advice to all Americans who (understandably) are seriously considering running for the border. Because just making it over the border is much harder than most of you think, and getting citizenship is even worse.

Note that I’m not trying to discourage immigration! America is a dumpster fire of a country, and I’m on board with as many of you as possible getting the fuck out of that hellhole. But if you just run for the border with no plan, you’re won’t even make it into the country.

Speaking of, how are you getting over the border?

No, I don’t mean the physical method of travelling, that’s a problem you’ll have to solve for yourself. But when you reach the border, you’ve got to get across it. What’s your plan?

The first thing you need to know is that the Canada-US border is still closed. Americans are not allowed to cross the border for non-essential travel. The ONLY REASON an American citizen can get over the border for regular travel is if you can prove you have an immediate relative in Canada that you’re travelling to be with, and you intend to stay for more than 15 days. If you don’t have a very good reason to enter Canada, you’ll be turned away at the border. So casual travel is off the table for most of you.

You should also be aware that it is impossible to enter Canada as a refugee at the US-Canada border. You will be turned back. The reason why is a long list of legal stuff that you can research on your own if you’re really curious, but the short version is that Canada and America are both listed as refugee safe countries by Amnesty International, and to prevent ‘asylum shopping’ a refugee must claim asylum in the first intake country they arrive in. So any refugees who try to pass through America and go straight to Canada must be turned back. This also means that American citizens cannot claim refugee status at all, because they’re already citizens of a ‘safe’ country.

We all know that’s a load of bullshit, and luckily the federal courts are in complete agreement! The good news is that the pact responsible was recently contested in court, due to the horrific human rights abuses happening down there, and the judge ruled that America cannot possibly be considered a safe haven for refugees anymore. The good news is that the pact has been declared legally invalid. The bad news is that the judge gave the ruling a six month wait period before it becomes effective, so that the government can have a chance to look over it. That means that if all goes well, refugees will be able to cross the US-Canada border in January 2021, but until then they will still be automatically turned back. If you want to enter Canada as a refugee, you have to wait until January.

From the research I’ve been doing on behalf of my American friends, if you want to legally enter Canada, you should start looking at Canadian universities right now, because your best bet is a student visa.

Finally, if things go bad tomorrow and you cannot risk staying in America any longer, but there is no possible way for you to legally cross the border... well, time to become an illegal immigrant. You’ll have to do your own research to find places to get over the border without passing a checkpoint, because I don’t know anything about that, but the best way to be allowed over the border is if you enter in BC and claim to be going directly to Alaska (or for Alaskans, claim to be going to any of the mainland states). That was actually a real problem in the summer, Americans kept lying about going to Alaska so they could have vacations in Canada. If you try and get across for tourist stuff, I’ll hunt you down and fucking strangle you. But if it’s absolutely vital that you leave America... eh, do what you gotta do. To my knowledge the punishment for pulling that stunt is just a fine, so it’s not like... life destroying. But don’t do that unless you’re desperate.

TWO WEEKS OF QUARENTINE UPON ENTERING THE COUNTRY IS MANDATORY. You might need to make your own arrangements though, I don’t think there’s any government provided quarantine setup. And please remember that even though Canada is handling things better, Covid is still very much a concern here. We’re well into our second wave, and provinces are shutting down again. Most places have bylaws ordering mask use in public. Wear a mask, or you might actually be in trouble.

Obviously all of this is just for the short term problem of getting into the country. For actually obtaining Canadian citizenship, THIS LINK is a masterpost of information/resources for Americans looking to gain Canadian citizenship. Again, harder than you’d think. I’d also recommend following that blog if you’re looking to become Canadian, because we have our own fair share of political problems, and if you’re going to be living here you should know what you’re dealing with.

I’ll make another post with advice about actually living in Canada on a day to day basis soon. When that’s done I’ll add a link here, so keep your eyes open.

[maybeimamuppet]

city of love

hello friends! happy wednesday! this is a request fill for NoaAvrahami6 on Wattpad, who requested the art freaks going on a long vacation/ road trip, and there's a scene to fill a request from aster-alpine on Wattpad (@deadbreadrunning here) who requested them swimming with dolphins :)

also, quick note, I have done absolutely nothing they do in this story, so I apologize for any inaccuracies. I have definitely learned the lesson that is 'write what you know'. I did as much research as my brain could handle and now I know more than I ever wanted to about the Venus de milo.

quick tw for panic attacks, but otherwise, enjoy.

-

Janis is scheming.

Cady is a week away from completing her PhD in mathematics. All she has left to do is defend her dissertation and publish her work, and then she’ll find out if the last four years of work have been worth it. She deserves presents.

Janis has two ideas. The first, is a dog. They have a cat, which Cady had agreed to adopting as a get-well present when Janis had broken her arm several years ago. Elvira is well-loved and very spoiled, but Cady has been begging for a dog. No time like the present. Janis found a reliable rescue breeder who recently had a litter of golden retriever puppies, and would be taking Cady to pick one soon.

Her second idea is a trip. Cady loves to travel, but has been so busy for the last several years that they haven’t gotten an opportunity to go any further than their trips back home to Illinois since their honeymoon in Kenya. Janis has family on her father’s side in France, that she also hasn’t been able to see in several years.

So, she’s booking a flight, also deciding to let Damian come as a surprise. He had recently landed the lead role in a revival of Little Shop of Horrors on Broadway, so he deserves a present too. He doesn’t start rehearsals for another few months, which gives Janis the perfect window of opportunity.

She finds a flight with a few seats available for the evening Cady will (hopefully) receive her degree; a miraculously non-stop flight to Marseille, where her family lives. Janis figures they’ll stop there for a few days, and then travel to Paris to see some of the more iconic sights.

Janis books the tickets, figuring it’ll either be a happy surprise or a consolation trip, and knowing it’s very likely to be the former. She clears her browser history after, in case Cady gets an urge to snoop. Then, she figures she should probably let Damian know to prepare for an international trip in a week.

danis:��hey u wanna go to france??

jamian: What did you do

danis: booked us a trip to france

jamian: Janis

jamian: Why

danis: bc my wife becomes a doctor in a week and deserves a gift, and i want you to come. and also bc you got seymour and deserve a gift too

jamian: Oh

jamian: That’s actually really sweet, Jan

danis: it’s my yearly act of goodwill

jamian: I figured lmao

jamian: When are we leaving?

danis: flights on friday at 7, i’ll pick u up. i wanna surprise caddy at her school and then we’ll go right to the airport

jamian: Aww how cute

jamian: Do you need Aaron to watch Ellie?

danis: oh shit yeah i forgot about that

danis: tell him i’ll bring him back whatever he wants as a thank you and a sorry i can’t bring you with us

jamian: U really forgot your whole cat

danis: no!!! i just forgot we can’t bring her!!! i’m a good cat mom!!!!!

jamian: You give her potato chips

jamian: Like on the reg

danis: because she likes them

danis: and i don’t give her enough to hurt her

jamian: Press x to doubt

jamian: Aaron said he’ll cat sit for some chocolates from France and lots of photos

danis: tits i can do that

danis: oh shit caddy’s home i gtg love u

jamian: Love you too tell her I say hi

danis: 📷

“Hey, Peanut, how was your day?” Janis asks gently. Cady lets her exhausted glare answer. “That good, huh? Do you want snuggles?” Cady nods, but signs that she wants to take a shower first. Her day must have been rough if she won’t speak. “Of course, baby, go ahead. I’ll wait for you in the bedroom.”

Cady signs a thank you in return, pecking her gently in greeting and scratching Elvira before heading into the bathroom. Janis decides to go the extra mile today and lights a nice candle in the bedroom, and pulls out a book to read to her. Cady loves the sound of Janis’ voice, so whenever her day has been especially tough they have story time, squeezing in as much of Janis’ voice and good snuggles as they can.

Cady doesn’t return until nearly 45 minutes later, in a set of Janis’ pajamas and with her hair neatly braided over her shoulder. Janis reaches for her, pulling her into a tight cuddle and squeezing gently in case she’s also having a sensory overload.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” She murmurs softly, scratching Cady’s scalp gently in the way that always makes her practically melt in Janis’ lap.

Cady sighs, burying her face in Janis’ chest further. “Just... a lot, today. I have a lot to do, and a lot is riding on this week. I’m gonna be stressed until Friday. And maybe after that, if I don’t make it.”

“You’re gonna make it, baby. You’re a genius, you did two degrees in the time most people do one. And you’ve been working so hard and carefully, I know you’re going to do it. And if you don’t, everybody at that school is catching these hands,” Janis replies.

Cady chuckles at that, finally poking her face out. She grunts slightly as Elvira suddenly jumps onto her back, joining their cuddle puddle happily. “Thanks, Bluejay. You’re... you’ve been the best partner I could’ve asked for, through all of this. I wouldn’t have even made it this far without you.”

“Yes, you would have,” Janis says. “But I’m glad I could be here for you. I love you.”

Cady inches her way up to Janis’ face so as not to disturb the cat snoozing on her back, but makes it and leans in for a kiss. “I love you too. Are you gonna read to me?”

“Yeah, if you want,” Janis replies. “Figured it might cheer you up a bit.”

Cady nods happily, cuddling into her and resting her head on her shoulder. She’s sound asleep before Janis even reaches the third chapter, so Janis sets an alarm and joins her in an impromptu nap.

————-

Cady barely speaks for the next few days, frantically studying, rehearsing, and proofreading everything. Janis is worried, but knows there’s not a lot she can do. She stays out of her way and brings her caffeinated teas and snacks from time to time.

The day before D-Day, Janis makes waffles for dinner, Cady’s favorite. Cady is still at the desk in their bedroom, where she’s been for nearly six days straight.

“Hey,” Janis says gently as she comes to drop off her plate. She usually eats her own dinner on the bed, spending time with Cady as she studies. But this time, Cady snatches her wrist once she sets the plate down and won’t let her leave. “You okay?”

Cady hasn’t looked at her yet, but doesn’t let go of her arm. She just stares at her massive book, clutching Janis’ wrist like a lifeline, like it’s the only thing holding her to Earth. Suddenly, she lets out a choked sob.

“Baby, hey,” Janis says softly. “What’s the matter?”

“I can’t do this, Janis,” Cady cries desperately. “I-I dont-I can’t-“

“Hey, shh,” Janis hushes. “Come here, get away from this for now.” She picks Cady up from her chair and carries her to the bed, letting Cady lock tight around her and sob into her shoulder. “What’s going on?”

“I can’t do it,” Cady wails. “It’s not good enough, and I’m- and I’m out of time, I can’t- I can’t do it!” She suddenly starts crying much harder, and is practically gasping for breath in between sobs.

“Baby, hey, look at me,” Janis insists, cupping her cheeks to look into her eyes. They’re wide and frantic, she looks terrified. She’s having an anxiety attack. Janis quickly tries to remember what she does for her own. The countdown strategy pops into her head, and she decides it’s worth a try. “Focus on me, okay? Tell me five things you can see.”

Cady chokes another sob and clings to her desperately, but manages to splutter out a reply. “Um-um... you-your face, and um-and... um... cat, and... the-and your p-painting, and the cl-the clock, and your tattoos.”

“Good, Butterfly,” Janis says gently. She holds Cady’s face again gently when she tries to look back to the desk. “No, hey, don’t look over there. Tell me four things you can hear.”

“There’s a-there’s a siren, outside,” Cady sobs. “And... and a bird, and... um... you talk-talking, and the-the cat. Chat-chattering.”

“You’re doing good, angel, breathe,” Janis says. “Three things you can feel.”

“Hold-holding me, you-you holding m-me,” Cady chokes. “And the-the bed. ‘S soft. And-and your hair. Tickles.”

“Another breath, baby. Two things you can smell,” Janis coaxes gently.

“Dinner,” Cady whimpers. “And you-your shampoo. Apples.”

“Almost done, baby, what’s something you can taste?” Janis asks, holding her tighter.

“Tea. From earlier,” Cady sniffles.

“Good job, Butterfly. Are you feeling any better?” Janis asks quietly, laying them down and squishing Cady on top of her. Cady nods slightly against her shoulder.

“A little,” she says quietly. She’s still crying, but sounds much less frantic. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, angel, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Janis says as she kisses her forehead. “Can you tell me what’s happening now?”

Cady takes a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts. “I’m scared. I’ve had years to get this right, get it perfect. It’s not. I don’t... I’m scared to defend it, what if I mess up, or... stutter or stim too much and I don’t pass?”

“If you don’t pass for stuttering or stimming during your speech then everyone grading you is fucking ableist and I will fight all of them,” Janis growls protectively. “But we can figure something out later if it worries you. And I’m positive your dissertation and thesis are wonderful. You’ve been working so hard, non-stop, for years. It may not be perfect, but if you’ve been doing anything but your best work all these years I’ll be stunned. You’re going to pass, and you’ll be Doctor Heron, and then I have a surprise for you to celebrate.”

“A surprise?” Cady asks quietly with a sniffle. “What did you get?”

“It’s a surprise, Peanut,” Janis chuckles. “You’ll find out tomorrow. But I think you’ll like it.”

“Okay,” Cady says so sadly that Janis wants to spoil everything now. But she manages to resist, knowing her reaction tomorrow will be better. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, baby. Eat with me, you need a break,” Janis says as she grabs Cady’s plate from the desk. “Bed picnic.”

Cady reaches for her just barely warm waffles. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Janis says as she leans over for a kiss.

“Can I try to guess what you got?” Cady asks with a bit more energy.

“Sure,” Janis chuckles. “But even if you guess it I’m not gonna tell you.”

Cady groans. “I wanna knoooooow.”

“And you will know tomorrow,” Janis giggles. “Guess away, Butterfly.”

“A puppy?” Cady asks.

Yes, Janis thinks. “No.” She says.

Cady pouts. “Um... did you paint me something?”

“Nope,” Janis chuckles as she takes another bite of her waffles.

“Hm... a... can you give me a hint?” Cady pleads. Janis tries her hardest to resist the puppy eyes.

“Fine, one hint,” Janis groans. The puppy eyes still haven’t lost their magic. “Think bigger.”

“Bigger... um... two puppies?”

“No,” Janis laughs. “Just eat. You’ll find out in less than a day, you can live with not knowing for that long.”

“Fine,” Cady grumbles. She finishes her waffles quietly and cuddles back into Janis. “Can you stay? I need to proofread it again but I don’t want to be alone.”

“Sure, Kitkat. Let me wash the dishes and I’ll be right back,” Janis replies. She rushes through scrubbing their plates and everything clean, then grabs her easel and joins Cady in the bedroom. She paints away while Cady reads, both of them working in comfortable silence. Janis has always loved these moments, where the silence doesn’t need to be filled, and they’re both content to just be with each other.

Cady finishes several hours later, closing her book with a deep sigh. “Jay?”

“Mm?” Janis hums in reply.

“You said we could figure something out. To stop me stimming,” Cady says as she turns to face her.

“I never said I’d stop you stimming,” Janis says, stepping around her easel. “I just meant that we’d find a way to make it less obvious, if you’re so worried about it.”

“Oh.”

Janis reaches for her. “Why are you so worried about it?”

Cady comes to nuzzle into her embrace quietly. “I dunno. It’s... it can be embarrassing, sometimes. I’ve done all this stuff, I’m hopefully about to get my PhD, but I still have to... curl my toes a certain way or flick my hands or fold myself up like a pretzel to get my brain to work like everyone else’s. And people stare, you can tell they think I’m childish.”

Janis hums sadly. “I get it, but it shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of. It doesn’t make you any less professional, or brilliant, it just helps you regulate, right?” Cady nods against her chest. “Yeah. You have all this knowledge in your brain now, it makes sense it needs a little wiggle to help kick it in gear and sort it all out.”

Cady chuckles. “Thanks, Jayjay.”

“And it feels good, remember when I tried all your favorites?” Janis says. “Satisfying.”

“Oh, yeah, it feels so good,” Cady laughs. “But what plan do you have?”

“Pick what you’re gonna wear tomorrow and make sure it has pockets,” Janis replies. “Big ones.”

“Where are you going?” Cady calls as she roots through her closet.

“Nowhere, hang on!” Janis calls back from the living room. She comes back with a necklace, a small cube, and a few other small stim toys she had ordered. Cady looks at them curiously as she pulls out a formal blue jumpsuit and blazer from the closet.

“What are those?” She asks as she rests it on their bed.

“Stim stuff. I made this one,” Janis says as she holds up the cube. “Julie sent me some of her old Legos, and then there’s a spring inside so it’s a little button. And it doesn’t make any noise or anything.”

Cady takes it curiously, pushing the button in the center a few times. “You made this? For me?”

“Yeah, of course. I made this too,” Janis says as she hands over the necklace. “I ordered the charm, it’s a chewy one, and then put the beads on so it’s not, like, obvious it’s a chewy necklace. I figured you could have it on if you wanted, it might help.”

Cady takes the necklace too, gnawing on the charm gently to test it out. Janis thought ahead, the chain is one she can handle. “Thank you, mpenzi.”

“And then I bought these. You can have them in your pocket and use them there, nobody would know if you didn’t want them to. They’d just think you were holding your hands in your pockets,” Janis says rapidly. “Oh, and you can borrow some of my shoes so you have room to move your feet inside, that won’t be noticeable either.”

Cady throws herself at Janis, knocking her backwards onto the bed and kissing her hard. “I love you so much. You’re perfect. Thank you.”

Janis kisses her back just as hard, tangling her hand in her hair and resting the other just above her bum. “You’re welcome, Butterfly. I love you too.”

Cady kisses her again gently, brushing their lips together a few times. “I’m sorry, by the way. I know I’ve been ignoring you this week, you don’t deserve that.”

“Babe, you’ve barely slept this week, and you only eat when I bring you food, I’m more worried about that,” Janis chuckles. “I get the rest of my life with you, wifey. I can handle a week for you to work every now and again. After tomorrow we get to spend more time together again anyway.”

Cady smiles at her. “We’ll do something special. I’m gonna shower, but I wanna cuddle you all night tonight. You’re right, I need more sleep anyway.”

“Okay, Kitkat. Have fun,” Janis says as she pushes her wife towards the en-suite. “I’ll be here.”

-

Janis remembers she forgot to feed Elvira her own dinner when she comes to plop onto her lap.

“Sorry, Ellie, I forgot to feed you,” Janis chuckles as she scratches her ear. “Let’s go.”

Elvira trots off to the kitchen, Janis following quickly behind her. Ellie meows at her when they finally reach the fridge, stretching up to peek in as Janis opens it.

“Hold on, you get a new can tonight,” Janis says in response to Elvira’s questioning chirp. She heads to the closet to grab one, noticing the air mattress on the top shelf they had bought for a camping trip. “Hm.”

Janis scoops out some of her food into her bowl and puts the can in the fridge, then grabs the air mattress from the shelf along with the pump for it.

“God, why is this thing so loud? Some of us have mattresses to blow up in secret,” Janis hisses. Once it’s done, she realizes she probably should have done it outside as she tries to shove it through the door. She grabs some sheets from the closet and the blankets from their bed, making a lovely little nest on their balcony.

Cady comes out of the shower as she’s fluffing the pillows, calling for her as she brushes her hair out.

“Jay? Are you okay? I heard noises,” she says as she comes out wrapped in her bathrobe. “What happened to our bed?”

“I’m fine, put on something warm and come here,” Janis calls from the other room.

“Okay,” Cady says nervously. “What are you up to?”

“God, you set a bunch of chickens loose in a school one time and suddenly you can’t surprise anyone anymore,” Janis jokes. “Just come here, you’re gonna like it.”

“I like your surprises, but you can be a little extra sometimes,” Cady teases. “Oh my god.”

“You like it?” Janis says. “We haven’t been able to do this for a whi-ack!” She grunts slightly as Cady leaps into her embrace, smooching all over her face.

“I love it, and I love you,” Cady says. “So much.”

“I love you more,” Janis teases as she carries her outside.

“No, I love you more,” Cady responds as she’s laid down gently. “I love you most.”

“Mm, you can’t win this fight, Peanut,” Janis hums, getting cut off as Cady pulls her down to kiss her hungrily.

“Then let me show you.”

————-

The next morning, Janis wakes up with Cady (very early) and makes a special breakfast with lots of fruit and protein. Cady eats happily but silently, once again giving a last proofread of all her materials.

Janis gives her a big hug and sweet kiss before she sends her out the door, Cady dressed in her fancy outfit, Janis’ shoes, and with her pockets full of stim toys.

Janis has to pack quickly once she’s gone, carefully but hastily packing their suitcase and carry on bags based on a list she’s incredibly thankful she had the foresight to make.

-

In the late afternoon, Janis picks Damian up in their Uber to Cady’s school to surprise her. He puts his suitcase in the trunk along with what looks to be a poster.

He shakes with excitement as he climbs in next to her, and they both chat excitedly about their plans for France. Before they know it, they’re at Cady’s university and ready to surprise her.

“Aww, you made her a sign?” Janis asks as she finally hugs him.

“Yeah, duh,” Damian says, showing off his ‘Congrats Doctor Heron!’ poster. “And it’s reversible in case of disaster.” He flips it around and shows it says ‘Good job anyway!’ on the other side.

“She’ll love it,” Janis says as she starts bouncing anxiously. “She’ll be happy to see you, too, she doesn’t even know we’re here.”

“Aww. I’m excited to see her reaction, do you remember when you threw that picnic before we graduated high school? That was nothing compared to this and she was so fucking excited,” Damian says.

“Yeah. She’s so cute,” Janis says. Her phone starts ringing suddenly. “Oh, it’s her, this is it.”

Damian squeals as she picks up and switches to speakerphone.

“Jay, I did it!” Cady calls loudly through the speakers. “I did it! I got it, I’m a doctor!”

Janis and Damian both start jumping up at down at the same time. “Congratulations, baby! I’m so proud of you!” Janis says. Damian stays quiet but is visibly trying to hold back his own comments. They see her come bursting out the doors then, running down the steps. “Hey, look to your right. No, other right.”

Cady looks to see her wife and best friend waiting for her and bouncing to get her attention. She runs towards them, laughing happily. “What are you doing here?! Oh my god, you made a sign and everything!”

“This is your surprise!” Janis laughs as her wife jumps into her arms. She spins her around a few times before Cady reaches out for Damian, so he pulls her into another tight hug to congratulate her.

“My best friend is a doctor!” Damian calls loudly as he also spins her around before wrapping her up protectively.

“Why do you guys have suitcases?” Cady asks confusedly, slightly muffled as her face is squished against Damian.

“Because we’re going on a trip!” Janis answers. “I told you to think bigger yesterday, this is it! Our flight is in a few hours, we have to go to the airport.”

“A trip?” Cady squeals happily. “Where are we going?!”

“France,” Janis tries to answer, barely getting the word out before she’s cut off by the most adorable squeal she’s ever heard and her wife leaping into her arms again. “Are you excited?”

“Yes! Of course I’m excited, oh my god!” Cady shrieks. “This is the best day ever!”

“Good! I packed a comfy outfit in your carry on, you can change at the airport,” Janis laughs happily as Cady kisses her over and over.

“Okay, come on! Let’s go, let’s go let’s go! I wanna go to France!” Cady calls, lugging them both towards the parking lot.

Janis and Damian both laugh as they’re dragged away. “Peanut, slow down, we have time.”

“Oh. Oops,” Cady says sheepishly. “But come on, I’m excited, let’s go!”

“We can tell, Cads, just slow down,” Damian pants. “Be excited at a reasonable speed.”

Cady’s bouncing now that they’ve stopped walking, having to get her excitement out somehow. “Janis, carry me, I can’t slow down.”

“Okay, come here,” Janis laughs, carrying Cady piggyback to their next Uber.

————-

Cady heads into the bathroom once they’ve passed security to change out of her formal outfit, but she leaves the necklace on and has the stim toy Janis made for her in her hand. She’s trying to gently stuff her poster in her bag as she walks back. She insisted on keeping it, even though Damian said she didn’t have to. Miraculously, she manages to make it fit without too much damage.

She tugs her carry on backpack back on as she approaches Janis and Damian again. “Where are we going in France?” She asks once they’re back together. Damian also looks at Janis curiously, she hasn’t told him either.

“Marseille, first. My family said we can stay with them for a few days, they have a huge house with tons of rooms. Then we’ll go to Paris and look around there,” Janis says. Cady gives yet another excited squeal and hugs her again. “Do you want Cinnabon’s? They’re right over there.”

“Oh, can we? I haven’t eaten since breakfast, I’m starving,” Cady says. She’s still bouncing and her hands are flapping happily, but she’s calmed down just a touch.

“How-wha-how do you have that much energy on just breakfast?” Damian asks with something akin to awe.

“I’m excited!” Cady almost yells, prompting several glares from those around them. She shrinks into herself slightly in embarrassment. “Oops.”

Damian chuckles. “Let’s go, my treat.” Cady perks up a bit and tugs her wife after them. She happily scarfs down her cinnamon roll and chatters excitedly about France.

They head to their gate to wait for their flight for a while, when Cady suddenly realizes something and scrambles for her phone. “I forgot to tell my parents! What time is it?”

“Almost exactly six,” Janis says. “So five for them.”

“Okay, they should both be home by now,” Cady says with relief. She dials her dad’s number, and he picks up on the first ring. “Hi Dad! Is Mom with you?”

“Hi Cady, she’s in the other room. What’s up?” Her dad replies.

“Get Mom, I wanna tell you together,” Cady insists.

“Okay,” her dad says, slightly confused. “Honey, it’s Cady, she says she has something to tell us.”

“Hello Cady,” her mom calls loudly through the speaker. “How are you, dear?”

“I’m good Mom! How are you?” Cady chuckles. For tech savvy people, they never quite got the hang of speakerphone.

“Good, hon. What’s this news you have?” Her mom replies.

“I got my PhD today! I’m officially a doctor!” Cady says, and quickly has to block the phone speaker with her arm to muffle the volume of their cheers and congratulations. Once it stops vibrating quite so much, she pulls it back to continue talking. “Thanks! Oh, and I won’t be able to call you for a little while. Janis surprised me with a trip to France, we’re going to see her family. And Paris.”

“Oh, that sounds lovely,” her mom sighs. “Take lots of photos for us.”

“I will. I love you guys, bye!” Cady calls, and hangs up before either of them can get off on a tangent and keep her there for an hour. “There.”

“Everything handled?” Damian jokes.

“Yep. Oh, that reminds me, Janis, can you... give me a rundown of your family again? I haven’t quite gotten everyone down,” Cady says shyly. To be fair, Janis has a lot of relatives and their names sound quite similar in a lot of cases.

“Yeah,” Janis chuckles. She knows Damian probably needs a refresher too, the last time he got to come visit everyone was in high school. “My homophobic great-grandma finally died when I was in college so we don’t have to worry about her anymore.”

“Jay! Be nice,” Cady scolds. She’d heard bad stories about the woman, but speaking ill of the dead still doesn’t sit right with her.

“I’m just saying. Anyway, Nana Annette is her daughter, my grandma. She’s, like, eighty-five, but she’s chill. She might say some offensive stuff because she’s either senile or just old, but she means well most of the time. Her husband died when I was a baby, I barely remember him, so hopefully he won’t be around. Then there’s the aunts and uncles.”

Cady pulls out her phone to take notes, this is where things get dicey.

“Jean-Luc is the oldest, he’s the funny one. His wife is Béatrice, she’s... tense, but nice. The next one is Charlotte, she’s the single one who I’m convinced is a closet lesbian, you remember? She’s hella rich and just shows up sometimes with presents. Anyway. Next is Gabrielle, and her husband Charles, he’s the English guy. My dad was next, then Phillipe is the youngest, and his wife is Jeanne.”

Cady blinks, already terrified. “And your cousins?”

“They’ll understand if you don’t remember them all, don’t worry,” Janis chuckles. “Jean-Luc and Béatrice have Josephine and Jacques, they’re twins. Then they had Annalise, and then Luca, they named him after my dad. Gabrielle and Charles have Bella, Celeste, and Clara, Celeste is a bitch but the other two are nice. Jeanne and Phillipe have Emile and Sylvie.”

“Jesus Christ,” Cady groans, trying to keep everyone under wraps.

“Some of my cousins have babies too now, do you want their names?” Janis teases. “Don’t worry about it, guys. They’ll understand and I’ll make sure you learn everyone’s names. And we probably won’t see all of them, either.”

“Oh, babies? Yay,” Cady says. “I might as well learn them too.”

“Yeah, there’s a few that are still actual babies. Josephine and her husband just had Hugo a few months ago, and then she has Anabelle and Charlise, they’re like... four,” Janis says. “And then Bella has Benjamin, he’s a year old or so.”

“Aww. Okay. I’ll have to study on the plane,” Cady says, sending her list to Damian and shutting her phone off.

“Little Slice, no, I’ll study for us and fill you in,” Damian says. “You’ve studied too much in your life. Doctor.”

Cady smiles at the reminder of her new title. “Fine. Oh, is that us?”

Janis listens to the voice ringing out over the PA system. “Yeah. They’re not boarding us quite yet, but we should be ready.”

“Oh, yay!” Cady says happily.

—————

Once they finally board, Cady begs to have the window seat. Janis and Damian are both afraid of heights and let her have it willingly.

Cady wiggles happily as the light comes on to fasten their belts, looking happily out the window as they prepare to take off. Janis pops some gum in her mouth, and offers a piece to both her travel buddies. Cady takes hers and then takes Janis’ hand, squeezing it to comfort her. Janis squeezes back thankfully.

Cady offers her one ear of the headphones she has so they can watch a movie together. Janis takes it and rests her head on Cady’s shoulder, flipping up the arm rest and cuddling into her wife. Damian flips up his own and lies down over both of them, his head ending up in Cady’s lap as he does his own thing on his phone. Cady just laughs and plays with his curly hair.

After three movies, Cady falls asleep with her head on Janis’ shoulder. They’re about four and a half hours into their seven hour flight, and it is now around Cady’s bedtime. Janis finds Damian also asleep on their legs, and decides to let him stay even though hers are going a bit numb.

She turns her head slightly to kiss Cady’s hair, thinking about the events of the day. Twenty-four hours ago she had fallen asleep on an air mattress on their balcony after a wild night, held securely in the arms of her favorite redhead. Now, she’s several thousand feet in the air, cuddled up with two of her favorite people on their way to another country. Life is a hell of a thing.

—————

Janis is startled awake by the announcement that they’re about to land, and wakes Damian and Cady so they can fasten their seatbelts again. It’s about two in the morning according to their body clocks, so they all blink groggily and rub at their eyes.

“Janis?” Cady asks suddenly as they start to descend.

“Hmm?” Janis hums exhaustedly.

“Who’s watching Elvira?”

“Aaron,” Janis yawns. “He just wants chocolate as payment.”

“Mmkay,” Cady hums. The plane finally touches down and she gives an exhausted “Yay.”

Janis chuckles. “Come on, my cousin is picking us up and then we can sleep in a real bed for a while.”

“Which one?” Damian yawns.

“Annalise,” Janis replies. “She’s a morning person, she’s the only one they trusted to come get us.”

They trudge through baggage claim and out of the airport, down a long line of cars waiting to pick people up. Suddenly, a clear “Janis!” rings out with a brisk French accent.

Janis greets her cousin, who laughs at their exhausted faces. “Bonjour, Anna.”

They have a quick catch up in French as they load all their bags into the car, and Damian’s eyes suddenly go wide.

“What happened?” Cady asks in concern.

“Nothing,” Damian says hastily. “I... forgot they’d actually speak, like, French here. I thought I was just too tired to understand them for a second.”

They both laugh as they climb in, Cady squished in the middle since she’s the smallest. She’s not complaining, this way her head will land on someone’s shoulder when she inevitably falls asleep again.

—————

She wakes up several hours later in a soft bed in a room she doesn’t recognize, spooning Janis. She checks the adjusted time on her phone and finds it to be about one in the afternoon, which isn’t terrible. They have a few hours left in the day to get things settled.

She leans down to kiss behind Janis’ ear as lightly as she can, murmuring a quiet “J’taime tellement,” into her ear before cuddling back into her wife. Apparently she wasn’t quite gentle enough, because Janis stirs and turns to face her with a grin.

“J’taime aussi, mon papillon,” Janis hums as she leans in for a kiss. “How did you sleep?”

“Pretty well, I don’t even remember getting here,” Cady replies.

“I carried you in, you looked exhausted,” Janis says. “What time is it?”

“Just after one,” Cady says as she strokes through Janis’ short hair. “I still love this haircut.”

“I can tell,” Janis chuckles as she cuddles in closer. “You don’t miss the blonde, though?”

“I do,” Cady hums thoughtfully. “But this length is so satisfying to play with. And your shave is in an easier place to reach now.”

Janis had continued sporting the side shave, and stretched it to an undercut at the back of her head as well when she cut the blonde off. Cady loves running her fingers over the buzzed areas, and Janis certainly doesn’t complain.

“Guess I’ll keep it like this then. Should we go get Damian?” Janis says as she leans in for another sweet kiss. “Can’t let him sleep too much longer.”

“Yeah. Are we doing anything today?” Cady asks as she follows Janis out of bed.

“I don’t really have anything planned from this point, I just figured we’d walk around and if you find something you want to do, we’ll do it. But maybe we should start tomorrow,” Janis replies. “Nana’s definitely gonna throw some family reunion type thing tonight and make a shit ton of food, we should save our energy for that.”

“Aww. That sounds fun,” Cady says. “But also tiring, you’re right.”

“They are usually pretty fun,” Janis hums. “And Charlotte is coming, she tells good stories, you’ll like those.”

“Is she the one who told that story about the time you fell into that lake and came back to a picnic totally drenched and told me to watch you around water at our wedding?” Cady asks.

“Yeah,” Janis mumbles sheepishly. “I can show you that lake, if you want. It’s nearby.”

Cady nods excitedly. “Of course. Oh, and hey, guess what?”

Janis turns from the door she’s approaching to leave their little room. “What?”

“I love you,” Cady says, pulling her down for a kiss. Janis has to fight a squeal.

“I love you too,” she replies after a second. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Cady whispers against her lips. “I don’t say it enough, but I’m proud of you too. I want this trip to celebrate all of us. Not just me and Damian. You deserve this too.”

“Okay,” Janis whispers back. “Thanks.”

Cady chuckles. “You promise you’ll tell me if you see something you want to do, too?”

Janis kisses her soundly one more time. “I promise.”

“Good. Let’s go get D,” Cady says with a final peck.

“Okay.”

—————

“Damian!” Janis calls as she leaps onto his bed.

“Cheese and crackers!” Damian yelps, throwing himself to the ground. “Janis!”

“Jay, I swear to god,” Cady groans from the doorway. “That is not what I meant by ‘wake him up’.”

“It worked though,” Janis says as she helps him up. “Morning!”

Damian glares at her. “Hello, Jan. Is it actually morning?”

“No, it’s almost two in the afternoon,” Cady replies. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Damian says as he brushes himself off.

“Good. Janis says there’s gonna be some sort of big dinner thing, can you help me study everyone?” Cady asks.

“Yeah,” Damian answers.

“Oh, hold on a second,” Janis says, running from the room. She returns with a framed photo of her whole family from a few years ago. “Here. It’s old, but everyone looks pretty much the same.”

Janis sits in between them and points everyone out so they can match names to faces. Cady looks a bit overwhelmed, but eventually can point everyone out.

“I’m gonna go shower, if you stay here nobody will bother you guys,” she says once her part is done. “Have fun.”

-

By the time Janis is put together enough for a family gathering, Cady and Damian know all her relatives by name and how they relate to one another. Janis is kind of touched that they both put so much effort into learning everyone in her family.

She hadn’t quite been expecting every member of her family to show up, but they all make an appearance at some point. Cady isn’t big on crowds and Damian hasn’t spoken French since high school, so they both stick around her throughout the meal.

Her aunt Charlotte shows up fashionably late as always, with gifts for the three of them. She greets Janis with a hug and hands her a set of incredibly expensive oil paints, and then looks around for Cady.

“Where is the doctor one?” She asks in fluent but heavily accented English. Cady peeks up from where she’s crowded by all of the younger cousins, coming over to say hello.

“Bonjour,” she says shyly. Charlotte greets her and hands over her gift, which looks to be a tasteful diamond bracelet. Cady frantically leans in to whisper to Janis. “I can’t take this, this had to have cost at least a thousand euro.”

Charlotte, evidently, hears her whispers and laughs. “Nonsense, Cady darling. You are smarter than anyone here, you deserve my money even more than my dear Janis. I am glad she is spoiling you.”

Cady blinks a few times, before begrudgingly accepting her beautiful gift. “Thank you, it really is beautiful.”

“But of course. Now where is darling Damian?” Charlotte responds. Damian comes over from the kitchen to say hello as well, and gets a very soft cashmere sweater.

-

Janis struggles to guide her wife and friend through a family dinner, and Cady collapses on their bed by the time they’re excused.

“Did your dad actually punch your great-aunt in the stomach?” She asks with a slight chuckle. “Just, like, no warning, full force?”

“I’ve heard that story from a minimum of five relatives, so I think it’s probably true,” Janis responds. “But he was only about five. And I think the stories explain a lot.”

“Do you miss him?” Cady asks quietly. “Your dad?”

“Yeah,” Janis says. “But I don’t think I miss him in the same way you miss your brother. Like, I wish I had gotten to know my dad, and I wish I had grown up with a decent father figure. But I didn’t really get to know him well enough to miss him as a person.”

Cady hums empathetically. “From what I’ve heard, you’re a lot like him anyway. But I wish those things too.”

“Thanks,” Janis mumbles. “I’ll take you around town tomorrow, we can see all the places from the stories.”

“Okay,” Cady grins. “J’taime.”

Janis smiles back as she cuddles into her wife. “J’taime aussi. Bonsoir.”

————-

The next morning, they both wake around eleven, starting to adjust to the time difference. Janis takes both Cady and Damian on a walk around the nearby area.

Cady laughs happily as Janis explains stories and where they happened, pointing out the shop where her mother met her father, the lake she had fallen into as a child, the tree her aunt had carved every family member’s initials into.

Cady stays behind for just a second at the shop, brushing a hand over the wall to thank it for sparking the events that gave her her beloved. She can almost feel the history inside.

For the time of year, it’s a remarkably cool day, and once they’ve stopped for a quick break Cady and Damian both ask to keep going. They go a bit farther than they had anticipated, into a larger area of the city.

Damian wanders off for a second, having spotted a sign on a building nearby. “Cads, come here, you read French better than me.”

Cady approaches, leaving Janis behind for a moment to join him. “Swim with... I don’t remember this word.”

“Dolphins,” Janis says suddenly from behind them, making them both jump.

“Swim with dolphins?” Cady asks. “Oh, that sounds fun! Can we, Jayjay? Pleeeeease please please?”

“Of course, Butterfly,” Janis says with a grin. “I’ll see what they have for tomorrow.”

“Oh, yay!” Cady squeals, hugging Janis tightly. Damian just cocks an eyebrow at them and joins the hug.

—————

Janis has to pin Cady to the bed to get her to sleep that night. But somehow by morning, their positions are reversed. Janis wakes up to her wife happily straddling her back, drumming her hands against her cheeks to wake her up.

“Caddy. What are you doing?” Janis groans sleepily.

“It’s dolphin day! I’m waking you up,” Cady responds far too brightly for eight in the morning. Janis grabs and pulls her back to cuddle.

“Go back to sleep,” Janis grumbles. “G’night.”

“Fine,” Cady chuckles. She should’ve known better, Janis never would’ve woken up this early anyway. She’s too excited to go back to sleep herself, so she rolls onto her side and watches Janis sleep. It’s rare that she’s awake when Janis isn’t, so she tries to memorize the way Janis looks while she sleeps whenever she gets the chance.

-

Janis finally stirs about two hours later, smiling as she sees her wife looking at her. She kisses her gently before she stretches. “Did you go back to sleep?”

“No,” Cady says. “I’m too excited.”

“You’re too cute,” Janis says, voice still rough with sleep. “It’s not ‘til three, babe.”

“Ugh,” Cady groans. She rolls on top of Janis again, straddling her front this time. She leans down to squish her face against Janis’ neck. Janis feels more than hears the words, “I wanna see them. Dolphins are so cute.”

Damian comes in then to get them up for breakfast. “Y’all-whoa! Okay bye.”

“Dame, come back! We’re not doing anything,” Janis calls. “I’m not that stupid.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you,” Damian grumbles. “Breakfast is ready, your grandma made crepes.”

“Ooh!” Cady squeals, flying out of bed to get ready. Janis follows quickly, pushing Damian out the door so they can get dressed.

-

Cady eats more happily this time, now that she’s not surrounded by quite so many people. But now Janis has to keep her occupied until they get to go to the dolphins.

Cady is chattering excitedly, and poor Damian still looks exhausted. Janis knows he’s excited too, dolphins are his favorite animal, but he’s very much not a morning person. Janis isn’t quite awake herself. Time for some drastic measures.

“Peanut, do you want to look at some old pictures? I know Nana has some around here somewhere,” she says, griping internally.

“Like baby pictures?” Cady says excitedly. “Lemme at ‘em.”

“Stay here. I’ll be back,” Janis grumbles. She returns a few minutes later with a photo album. “This is from just before we moved to America, I think.”

Cady makes grabby hands for the book and flips excitedly to the first page. Damian perks up a little and sits on her other side. Cady coos when baby Janis makes an appearance.

“Your little cheeks! Oh my god,” Cady squeals.

“Have you not seen any old pictures of Janis before?” Damian asks in confusion.

“Not this little, the only ones she’s let me see are from five and up,” Cady says as she turns to the next page. This one features baby Janis chewing on one of her feet. “Oh my god, look at you.”

“I’ve seen them, Cads, I’m good,” Janis chuckles. Cady flips the page again to one of her dad holding her.

“Is this your dad?” Cady asks quietly. Janis nods with a grin.

“Yeah,” she says. Cady looks back and forth between the photo and her wife.

“You look like him,” Cady says after a moment. “Dame, look at their jawlines. And-oh, Jay, smile. See? Exactly the same.”

“Shit, yeah,” Damian says, looking back and forth. “And the... is it their noses?”

“Yes! That’s what it is,” Cady says. Janis is confused, but happy that there’s such a strong resemblance. “My god, you were so cute!”

“Were?” Janis jokes.

“Oh, shush. You’re always on my case for calling you cute,” Cady says, gently flicking her ear.

“Yeah, yeah. I need to go shower, y’all can keep looking if you want,” Janis says, gesturing to Damian behind Cady’s back to keep her busy. He nods.

—————

By the time they’re outside the dolphin place, Cady and Damian are holding hands and bouncing up and down in excitement.

“Come on, dorks, let’s see some dolphins,” Janis says as she leads them into the massive building. It spans the area of several blocks, and a vast majority of it are large tanks and pools.

A lady welcomes them at the main desk and introduces herself as Bernadette, handing over their life jackets and taking them on a short tour. Upon seeing the slight confusion on Damian’s face, she switches to English and explains how they take care of the dolphins.

Cady looks relieved when she explains that the only dolphins here are ones that wouldn’t survive in the wild, and that they do rescues to help injured ones to eventually release back into the ocean. The tanks are absolutely massive with plenty of room to swim, and the water is kept at the perfect temperature.

Finally, they’re lead outside to one of the massive pools, and Cady gives a quiet squeal when she sees the dolphins swimming around happily. Damian follows Bernadette into the water first, yelping at the cold temperature.

“Ooh, it’s cold!” Cady squeals, walking around on her tippy toes until she gets used to it. The three dolphins suddenly swim over, sort of circling around her curiously. “Oh, hello.”

Janis follows after Cady, but the dolphins won’t leave her wife to greet anyone else.

“They seem to like you,” Bernadette chuckles. She swims over to introduce them. “This is Poséidon, and Daphné, and this here is Corail.”

She gives a command and one by one, the dolphins pop up on their tails and wave to them. Cady squeals when she gets splashed as they go back down, but claps for them at their impressive trick.

Bernadette guides them over to Damian with a bit of effort, and gives another command for Corail to pop up and kiss his cheek. He gasps in surprise since the command was in French, but chuckles at the sensation. “Aww! Bonjour, Corail!”

“Is that the first girl you’ve kissed, D?” Janis jokes.

“Actually, yeah,” Damian says. “Except you.”

“Whoa whoa whoa, what?” Cady insists. “When did that happen?”

“We were like, eleven, and trying to work out if we were actually gay so we kissed one time,” Janis explains quietly. “And we agreed not to talk about it again, Damian.”

Cady is laughing so hard she’s only held up by the life jacket, forgetting to tread water to keep herself afloat. “That’s so cute. Oh, bonjour!” She says when the dolphins return to her side.

“You may pet them if you like,” Bernadette says, pretending she didn’t hear the story. “All of you can.”

Cady happily reaches out to brush a hand over their smooth backs, in awe at the sensation. “Ooh! They’re so smooth! That’s so cool. Guys, come feel them!”

Janis and Damian swim over to pet them too, and Janis yelps a little when she first makes contact. “Oh, that’s weird!”

“They’re so cute,” Damian coos. “It’s a really nice feeling.”

“Their skin regenerates almost every two hours to help maintain the texture,” Bernadette explains. “Much faster than humans, to say the least.”

“They feel like wet rubber,” Janis says. “They are cute though.”

“Many people say that, that is a good way to describe it,” Bernadette laughs. She gives another command and Poséidon pops up and kisses Janis on the cheek. Janis yelps slightly and jumps back, but swims close again when Cady reaches for her. “Oh, I should have warned you, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Janis chuckles. “Bonjour, Poséidon.”

He pops up again, seemingly waiting for something. Bernadette laughs. “He wants you to kiss him back.”

“Little man-whore,” Janis grumbles, but leans in to smooch his beak. Cady leans in on the other side too, prompting an excited chirp as he swims a happy lap around the pool.

Corail and Daphné seem jealous and also pop up for kisses from Cady, who obliges with a delighted laugh. They chirp happily and kiss Cady’s cheek in return.

“Aww, you have competition, Jay,” Cady coos.

“You’re gonna leave me for a fish?” Janis calls.

Cady gasps indignantly. “They are mammals.”

“Whatever, they live in water and don’t have legs, they’re close enough. You’re gonna leave me for a water-dwelling mammal?” Janis pouts.

“Of course not,” Cady says. “Come back, they’re sorry.”

Janis swims her way back over for a kiss from her wife. “You taste like dolphin.”

Cady laughs. “So do you, fish face. What happens now?”

“They can tow you around the pool by their fins, if you’re interested,” Bernadette offers.

“Does it hurt them?” Cady asks worriedly.

“Not at all, they actually seem to rather enjoy it,” Bernadette responds. “You only add a touch more pressure to the fin, if you don’t grab it too hard.”

“Oh. Yeah, that sounds fun!” Cady cheers. Bernadette shows them all how to gently hold the fins, each of them getting their own dolphin. Damian gets Poséidon, Cady gets Corail, and Janis gets Daphné. Once they’re all securely but carefully holding on, Bernadette gives a cue and the three of them set off. They go slower than Janis had thought they would, but she’s grateful that she’s not getting splashed or lugged underwater.

“Ooh. This is nice,” Damian says, cuddling into Poséidon a little closer. “Relaxing.”

Janis paid a fair sum for this experience, but she thinks it’s worth it for the tow. It is quite relaxing, and Cady is laughing brightly the whole way.

“That was so fun!” Cady calls when they’re done.

“I’m glad! If you would bid the dolphins a quick adieu, we can now move on to the shore activities,” Bernadette replies. She leads them out of the tank and offers them each a towel, and they return their life jackets as they dry off.

Once they’re not dripping anymore they follow Bernadette inside to a kitchen area, and are immediately confronted with the smell of fish. Damian has to tap out and waits for the girls outside. Bernadette greets and has a quick chat with her co-worker in French before grabbing a couple buckets of prepared fish and heading back out of the room.

“My apologies for the smell, but you get used to it after a while,” Bernadette says to Damian. He nods shakily and follows them back to the dolphins. They all rush up when they spy the buckets, almost begging like little dogs for a treat.

“Aww,” Cady coos. “Water puppies.”

Janis links their fingers together and leads them to the edge. Bernadette explains that she’ll have them do tricks, and then if they want to, the three of them will get to feed them the fish as a reward. Damian sits far away from the smelly buckets, opting to just watch.

Bernadette gives the first command and the three of them all hop up and wave their fins, and they wave back happily. Cady and Janis toss each of them a few of the small fish. She gives another cue and they turn away, facing lengthwise down. They pick some speed up and suddenly leap into the air, diving a couple times.

“Holy shit!” Janis yelps at the height they can get. “That’s impressive.” Cady and Janis toss them more fish.

Bernadette continues giving cues, prompting the dolphins to dance, come up for pets, shake hands, give more kisses, and even hop up next to them on the shore for a split second. Cady even gets to play fetch with Poséidon for a while with a small ball.

Once they’re down to about a quarter of the last bucket of fish, Bernadette stops giving the dolphins commands. They swim around the area contently, calming down after the exercise.

“Now, I understand you are an artist, Janis?” Bernadette asks, heading to a nearby cart.

“Um... yeah,” Janis says anxiously. “Kind of.”

“Nonsense,” Bernadette chuckles. “Your wife tells me you are very good.”

Janis looks at Cady in confusion. “Does she?”

“You are! You teach art to kids, for the love of god,” Cady says. “Just wait, this is awesome. You’re gonna love it.”

Bernadette chuckles and heads to a nearby cart of supplies, returning with several pieces of paper, brushes, and a few colors of non-toxic paint.

“Our friends here enjoy art as well, you all get to help them create their next masterpiece,” Bernadette says. Janis looks very excited. She got to paint with elephants in Kenya, so she’s excited to do art with another animal.

Bernadette places the brushes into a sort of hoop shaped thing, and instructs them to pick what colors they want for the paintings. Janis picks purple, blue, and grey; Cady picks yellow, pink, and green; and Damian picks black, pink, and orange.

The colors are squeezed into pallets, and they dip the brushes into the paint. Then, the hoop attachments are slipped gently over the beak of the dolphins, and they’re instructed to hold the canvas over the dolphins’ heads. All three wag the brushes back and forth, making bright streaks on the canvas.

The process is continued until all three colors are used up and the canvases are mostly covered, then they turn to see the beautiful works of art the creatures have made for them. It’s rather abstract, obviously, but they are very beautiful.

Unfortunately they now have to say goodbye to the dolphins. They kiss and pet each one before they have to go, waving goodbye sadly. Janis buys all of the photos taken of their experience, and also buys each of them a commemorative shirt and a stuffed dolphin from the gift shop.

Cady and Damian are both still shaking with adrenaline as they head home, chatting excitedly about their favorite parts. Once they get there, though, they start to crash. Cady’s almost totally asleep by the time they make it through the door.

Janis carries her up the stairs, Damian following closely behind them. He slugs his way to his own room, all of them deciding to take a nap before dinner. Janis has to wake Cady to get her out of her swimsuit, and Cady just tugs on Janis’ dolphin t-shirt and flops into bed, crawling under the covers and cuddling her stuffed dolphin.

Janis changes into other comfortable clothes since her shirt was stolen and crawls in after her, spooning her wife gently. She’s not quite tired enough to sleep, so she contents herself with holding her girl and remembering all the fun they had.

——————

A few days later, they head to Paris. Janis’ grandmother threw yet another dinner for them to celebrate, and insisted they come back for another visit soon. Cady promises they will, and Janis agrees.

Janis’ cousin takes them to the train station to see them off that afternoon. It’s about a six hour trip, so they’ll be at their hotel at around seven in the evening. Cady looks out the window the whole way, and Damian looks a bit green. He’s never been great with motion.

“So what do you want to see in Paris, Bluejay?” Cady asks, munching happily on the croissant she had gotten off the cart.

“The Louvre,” Janis replies instantly. “More than anything. And the Eiffel tower, I guess.”

“Oh, I would love to go to the Louvre,” Cady says happily. She’s interested in the art there, of course, but she loves seeing Janis in her element. “I’m excited to eat.”

“You’ll get plenty of opportunities,” Janis chuckles. “What about you, what do you want to see, Peanut?”

“I want to see the historical stuff. Like the Palace of Versailles and the Arc de Triomphe and stuff,” Cady replies. “Dame? You okay?”

“Mmhmm,” Damian hums. He’s looking better now that he’s eaten. “I just want to go to Disneyland.” Cady suddenly looks very excited.

“I forgot about Disneyland! That would be so fun,” she squeals. They’ve managed to get Cady caught up on Disney movies and shows, but haven’t had a chance to take her to any of the parks yet. Now they have to go.

Finally, a lady’s voice announces their stop, so they all hop up and grab their bags. Once they’re above ground again, Janis barely manages to get them a cab to their hotel. Cady gets stuck in the middle again, but keeps leaning over them so she can see out the windows.

“It’s so pretty,” she sighs happily. She spins around as they’re dropped outside their hotel, staring up at the sky. It is rather beautiful, with the city bathed in the light from the setting sun.

Janis leads them in and checks them in to their rooms. She’d booked Damian one on a different floor, for his own sake. They are in the city of love, after all. Janis plans to make full use of it.

Cady enters the room first, immediately rushing over to the window. “Jay, come here.”

Janis comes up behind her, kissing her cheek and hugging her from behind. “It’s beautiful. That’s the top of the Eiffel tower over there.”

Cady turns in her embrace. “It is beautiful. But not as beautiful as you.” She giggles as Janis blushes. “I love you so much. Thank you for bringing us here.”

“I love you too, Butterfly. I’m glad I could. What did you think of Marseille?” Janis asks, pulling Cady next to her on the large bed.

“It was beautiful,” Cady replies. “And your family is... so lovely. I loved hearing all the stories and seeing the places that are important to your family. It was wonderful.”

“Good,” Janis grins as Cady leans up to kiss her. “Should we get D and find somewhere for dinner?”

“Oh, yes! Can we walk? It’s so nice out,” Cady replies, dragging Janis up by the hand and towards the door.

“We should change first, but sure, baby,” Janis says. “Come on.” They put on fancier clothes and Janis switches their positions, running down the long hallway towards the elevator and hauling her laughing wife behind her. The doors close behind them as they both try to catch their breath. Janis brushes her hands through Cady’s curls to smooth them back down. “Have you ever had escargot?”

Cady pulls a slightly concerned face. “No. Those are snails, right?”

“Yeah. They’re not bad, though, I think you’ll like them,” Janis replies. The doors open when they reach Damian’s floor. Janis leads them to his door and knocks. “D, we’re gonna go get dinner, do you want to come?”

He answers the door already wearing the hotel robe and with a sheet mask on. “Can I have a second?”

Both girls laugh and nod. Janis sighs when the door closes again. “We’ve been here for ten minutes.”

“It’s Damian,” Cady giggles in reply. “And skincare is important.” Damian comes back fully dressed and sans mask. Cady grabs his hand as well and leads them both back to the elevator.

Janis finds a restaurant within walking distance that has very highly rated escargot. She knows Damian hasn’t had it either, and wants to know what they’ll think of it.

-

They get to the place right as dinner service is beginning, and are led over to a table.

“They’re all so close together,” Cady says, having to wiggle her way in.

“They have a lot of people to fit in,” Janis replies. “Just how it happens here.”

“I’m glad we changed. Everyone here is so fancy,” Damian mumbles.

They continue making light conversation as they wait for the food Janis ordered to arrive. Finally it arrives, and Cady and Damian look more than a little concerned.

Janis pops some of the snails out of their shells, eating one herself and offering the others to Damian and Cady. They take them, looking to each other for confidence and eating them.

“Oh!” Cady says. “Thats way better than I thought, that’s so good! Way better than snake meat.”

“I told you,” Janis laughs.

“It’s like ravioli,” Damian says as he reaches for another. “But... snails.”

“Yeah, that’s a good way to put it,” Cady giggles. “How do you get them out?” Janis shows her how to use the fork to pop them out, and Cady follows suit once she knows how.

-

Many hours later, Cady cuddles up to Janis in bed, finally ready for sleep. “How long are we here, Jay?”

“We’re in Paris for a week,” Janis replies.

“A week?!” Cady says in shock.

“I wanted to make sure we had time to see everything you both wanted to,” Janis says. “And I have another surprise when we get home. But that’s kind of for both of us.”

“Jay, you’re spoiling me,” Cady whines. “Can I know the other surprise?”

“Nope,” Janis hums. “But I’ll tell you right once we’re back in America. And you deserve to be spoiled, Peanut. You’re a doctor, you’ve worked so hard.”

Cady grins at her. “Fine. Will you tell me what we’re doing tomorrow?”

“I don’t have anything planned,” Janis says. “What do you want to do?”

“The Louvre,” Cady replies with a smile. “I want you to tell me all about everything. I won’t even need a tour guide.”

Janis smiles back, leaning down for a kiss. “Sounds like a plan.”

Cady cuddles in close, nuzzling into her chest. “I love you, darling.”

“I love you too, Butterfly. Sweet dreams,” Janis replies, holding her closer.

————-

Janis wound up being the one with trouble sleeping that night, struggling to fall asleep and waking up early. She decides to return the favor Cady pulled on the dolphin day.

Cady, as always, is asleep on her belly, so Janis rolls to straddle her back at her waist and drums on her shoulders. Cady gives a sleepy groan and pops an eye open to look at her.

“Jay.” She grumbles crankily. “Wha’ you doin’.” Janis leans down to kiss her cheek and around her ear.

“Good morniiiiiing,” she hums. “It’s Louvre day, I’m waking you up!”

Cady groans into her pillow. “Go back ‘sleep.”

“No, I’m too excited!” Janis says. “Come on, don’t you at least want breakfast?”

“Wan’ sleep more,” Cady moans. She shifts and Janis falls off her with a yelp, thudding to the ground.

“Hmph. I see how it is,” Janis grumbles. “Fine, you can sleep in, cranky pants.”

“Thank youuuu,” Cady calls into her pillow, and is snoring gently again within minutes.  Janis giggles and slides back into bed, stroking a curl away from Cady’s face and watching her sleep. She is actually too excited to go back to sleep, so she decides to make slightly better use of her time.

She heads to her carry on bag and pulls out the sketchbook and pencils she had brought along, before opening the window to sketch their view. She flips past the ones she did of Marseille to a blank page. The rooftops seem to stretch for miles, and she can just spy the top of the famous tower a ways away.

Cady groans sleepily behind her as she’s finishing shading in the skyline, rolling over onto her back and throwing her arms over her head. Janis decides she needs to work on sketching people more. She perches herself on top of the wardrobe and sketches her life, smiling lovingly at the little snuffling noises she makes every now and again.

“G’morning,” Cady groans as she finally wakes up, stretching and yawning before rubbing her eyes.

���Morning, sleepyhead,” Janis chuckles, hopping down as Cady reaches for her. “How did you sleep?”

“Good, until someone sat on me,” Cady says, glaring at Janis.

“Just returning the favor,” Janis chuckles. “Let’s go get breakfast.”

“No way. You haven’t kissed or cuddled me yet, you’re not going anywhere,” Cady demands, pulling her back.

Janis laughs and cups her face, leaning in to press their lips together. “Can that hold you over until we eat?” Cady leans in for one more sweet kiss.

“I suppose.”

—————-

Janis takes Cady and Damian to a nearby bakery for some breakfast croissants. All of them eat outside, enjoying the way the whole street seems to smell like fresh bread and baking sweets.

Cady asks to walk again, wanting to see as much of the city as she can. Surprisingly, Damian agrees, even though he’s never been one for much physical activity. The Louvre isn’t particularly close by, but Janis also agrees to a walk. Saves having to pay for a cab.

“Shit,” Janis murmurs in awe when they finally reach their destination. “It’s big.”

“It says here it’s seventy-three thousand square meters,” Cady says, holding up her phone. “So yes, it is very big.”

“Very astute observation there, Janjan,” Damian teases. “Let’s go in, come on.”

“They have tours, should we do that?” Janis asks, pointing to a sign.

“We don’t need to,” Cady says, lacing their fingers together. “We have you.”

-

Once they’re past the impossibly long line to get in, Janis instantly heads off, hauling Cady and Damian behind her. She follows the signs to the area with the Mona Lisa first, knowing there’s going to be a large crowd for them to work through to see it up close.

“Wow,” Damian says when they make it in. There is a massive crowd in front of it, but they can still just barely see. Except Cady.

“Hang on,” Cady grumbles, grabbing their hands and somehow weaseling her way through all the people until they’re at the front. “There. Short people tricks.”

“Nice, babe,” Janis says, staring in awe at the famous painting in front of her. She rattles off all the facts about it she can remember from her years of study, before they move on to look at other things.

“Oh, that’s in Animal Crossing!” Cady says happily, pointing to a painting nearby. “What is this, lovey?”

Janis laughs at her excitement over finding the real versions of something from her favorite game. “That’s called The Summer. This guy did a few like that, with the faces made out of fruit and stuff.”

“It’s... nice,” Damian says confusedly. “Why did he do that?”

“Hell if I know. Most of the people who did these paintings were probably on some drug or another,” Janis says in reply. “Neat though.”

Janis leads them from area to area, explaining and listing facts about whatever Damian or Cady point to. It works well enough for all of them. They get to see all the famous works, Janis gets to see everything she wants, and Damian and Cady get explanations and extra facts from Janis.

“Wow,” Cady says when she spies the Vénus de Milo. She breaks away from them and wanders over to get a closer look. Janis follows her and leads Damian after them, since Cady is small and easy to lose.

“That’s the Vénus de Milo,” she hums in Cady’s ear. “She’s supposed to be one of the Greek goddesses.”

“Which one?” Damian asks.

"Nobody really knows,” Janis replies. “Most people think Aphrodite. Venus was her Roman counterpart, so that’s where the name came from.”

“Her dress is falling off,” Cady mumbles distractedly, making Damian and Janis laugh. “What happened to her arms?”

“Fell off,” Janis shrugs. “There’s a lot of theories about that too. They probably were just too heavy and broke away at some point. Some people think it was a shipwreck or something, I can’t remember specifically.”

“Hm. That’s interesting,” Cady says. “Oh, her foot is gone too.”

“Yeah, she’s lost a lot of stuff over the years. She had jewelry and stuff originally,” Janis replies. “Just lost to time one way or another.”

Cady leans back against her and turns her head to kiss at Janis’ jaw. “You’re so smart. I love you, art freak.”

Janis grins. “I love you too, math nerd.”

“Okay, time to move on! Chop chop,” Damian insists, wanting to get as far away from their sappiness as he can.

—————

“That was... really fun, Bluejay,” Cady yawns once they’re finally back in their hotel room, freshly showered and ready to sleep. “I love seeing you with art.”

“I’m glad you had fun,” Janis replies as her wife spoons her. “Go to sleep, Butterfly, we have to be up early tomorrow.”

“Why?” Cady yawns again.

“I’m not gonna tell you, or you’ll never sleep,” Janis says. “It’s nothing terribly exciting, but they open early. We should be there pretty soon after it does.”

“Oh. Mmkay. G’night, love.” Cady mumbles, seeming content with Janis’ surprises for once. Janis had toned it down slightly, they were going to Disneyland Paris tomorrow. She’d talked it over with Damian, and agreed that he got to pick what they do tomorrow.

“Goodnight, Princess,” Janis says, secretly giving a little hint.

——————-

She kisses Cady awake the next morning around eight. “Good morning, Butterfly.”

“Good morning,” Cady yawns. “Where are we going today?”

“I’ll tell you in a bit,” Janis replies. “I made sure we had cuddle time today.”

“Good,” Cady replies, pulling Janis down on top of her. “How did you sleep?”

“Good, actually,” Janis replies. “I think I’ve finally actually adjusted to the time shift. How did you sleep?”

“Good,” Cady says. “Nobody sat on me to wake me up today, I much prefer kisses.”

“Noted,” Janis chuckles. “For the record, so do I.” Cady gives a chuckle that says she already knows but has chosen to ignore that information.

“When do we get breakfast?” Cady asks after a long, peaceful moment.

“On the train,” Janis replies. “My cuddles not enough for you?”

Cady flicks her nose gently. “Yes, they are, but unfortunately I can’t live on cuddles alone. The train. That means somewhere pretty far away.”

Janis checks the time, it’s been about a half hour since they woke up. They should probably get ready now. She sits up, and rolls off of Cady so she isn’t thrown to the ground again.

“Dame and I decided we’re going to Disneyland today,” she says gently. As she expected, Cady flies out of bed with a delighted squeal and starts dancing around the room. Janis just watches her with a smile, until Cady leaps on her from above and kisses everywhere she can reach.

“Disneyland! Let’s go, come on, we have to get ready!” Cady calls, lugging Janis out of bed to shower and get dressed. She’s almost as excited as she was when she found out they were coming to France in the first place.

“Baby,” Janis says lovingly. “Breathe. You have an hour long train ride to get through first, we can’t have you leaping out the window when we’re going several hundred miles per hour.”

Cady comes back down to Earth a bit then. “Oh.”

“Come on, let’s get ready, Peanut,” Janis coaxes, turning the shower on.

-

Half an hour later, both ladies are showered and dressed in loose clothing and good shoes, before they head down to meet Damian. Cady leaps on him before he can even open the door all the way.

“We’re going to Disneyland!” She squeals when he yelps in surprise as a small redheaded rocket suddenly barrels into him.

“Good morning, Caddy,” he chuckles affectionately. Janis grabs her wife back, picking her up to carry her to the elevator.

“Come on, Peanut, let’s go,” she tuts lovingly as Cady clings to her with a delighted giggle. “Gonna have to get a leash for you.”

“Kinky,” Cady teases. “I’ll calm down.”

“No you won’t,” Janis retaliates. She doesn’t really want Cady to calm down, anyway. “I know you, wifey.”

“Fine, you’re right,” Cady agrees. “But I won’t run away. I need you guys to show me around anyway.”

“Happily,” Janis says as she finally sets her down.

—————-

Cady is already spinning around in awe when they’re finally outside the gates. Janis links their fingers together as she buys their tickets, and Damian grabs Cady’s other hand before Cady tugs them forward.

Janis buys their way into the park and squeezes Cady’s hand. “Where first, babe?”

“Oh, I don’t know! There’s so much,” Cady says happily. “Oh, can we get ears?”

“Sure,” Janis says. “Well, you can.”

“You don’t want ears?” Cady pouts. “They have a bunch.”

“Under no circumstances am I wearing Mickey ears,” Janis replies. “But you pick some, they’ll be cute on you.”

Ten minutes later, Janis is wearing ears. Cady has some on that look like Simba’s, Damian has a pair designed to look like Mulan’s costume, and Janis has been coaxed by her wife into a Maleficent themed pair. Cady takes a selfie of all of them with their ears, making kissy faces at the camera, and one with their normal smiles.

“Yay! Okay, I wanna see the castle,” Cady cheers as she puts her phone away.

“There’s a dragon too,” Janis says.

“A dragon?” Cady asks. “In the castle?”

“No, underneath,” Janis says. “This way, come on.”

Sure enough, the shortcut Janis takes leads them to a very large animatronic dragon deep in the belly of the castle.

“That’s so cool,” Cady says as she watches it move. “Look, you can see it breathe.”

“The wings move too,” Damian says, pointing to one. “And its feet.”

“Wow,” Cady says. “Can we go in the castle?”

“I think so,” Janis replies. “Line might be a bit long, but we can if you want.”

“It’s so pretty,” Cady sighs happily. “The waterfalls.”

Damian leads them inside and up to the second floor, where there’s a series of large and beautiful stained glass windows depicting the story of Sleeping Beauty. Cady leads them around to peer through each.

“Oh, it’s so beautiful up here,” Cady says. “But let’s go ride stuff, we can come back here later.”

“I wanna go on the Ratatouille ride,” Damian says quickly. Cady nods rapidly, and Janis is also intrigued, so Damian takes their hands and leads them that way. “It’s super cool, they’re not on a track. It’s all computers.”

Cady looks more than a little apprehensive at that. “And they don’t crash into each other?”

“No, they all have programmed routes, every car is different. Don’t worry,” Damian replies.

“Oh. That sounds fun,” Cady cheers. The lines are usually decorated with some sort of theme to match, and Cady looks around excitedly. Janis contents herself with watching her wife until they’re led onto the ride.

Janis has to admit that it is more fun than she had anticipated, it actually makes you feel like a little rat running around. But the best part is still Cady and Damian’s laughter throughout the whole thing.

“Where do you want to go, Jayjay?” Cady asks once they finish, still giggling slightly.

“Hyperspace Mountain,” Janis says immediately. “I don’t know if you guys would like it though, it goes pretty fast.”

“I’ll try it,” Cady says.

Damian says, “Hard pass,” at the same time. “You guys go, I’ll just look around.” He holds their ears and bags as they go to wait in line.

“Cads, are you sure you want to come? It’s a roller coaster, you didn’t like them last time,” Janis asks once they’re in line.

“That was almost ten years ago, love. Maybe I’ll like this one,” Cady says. “I’ll try anything once. And anything for you.”

Janis grins and leans in for a chaste kiss. “If you’re sure. I love you.”

“I love you more,” Cady retaliates.

“No, we’ve been through this!” Janis insists.

“And we’ve never reached a conclusion, so what’s your point?” Cady says with a chuckle. “This could continue until the end of time.”

Janis kind of hopes it does. They continue bickering until they’re fastened in. Cady goes quiet when she realizes where she is. She’s excited, but still nervous. She doesn’t have a great track record with roller coasters so far. Janis takes her hand and kisses her knuckles to help calm her down just before they shoot forward.

Cady’s hair is entirely poofed out by the time they get off, and she’s shaking slightly.

“Did you like it?” Janis asks as they head back to Damian.

“Uhhuh,” Cady says shakily.

“Are you lying?” Janis asks, knowing her wife.

“Uhhuh,” Cady says again. Janis laughs, but hugs her gently once they’re out of the way.

“You don’t have to come with me on anything else, it’s okay,” Janis chuckles as her wife clings to her. She seems better this time, she’s not shaking quite so hard and doesn’t look near tears. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Cady replies. “Just... maybe shouldn’t go on anything for a little while. I’m a little overwhelmed.”

“That’s fine, baby,” Janis says. “I’m hungry anyway, let’s find something to eat.”

“Oh, yay!” Cady cheers, always excited to eat. “Oh, Damian has something.”

“Hey guys!” Damian says as they finally reach him. “I found crepes.” He hands each of them a Nutella crepe he had gotten off a cart. “Nice hair, Cads.”

“Thanks,” Cady says, knowing she resembles a lion. She grabs her Lion King ears back to complete the look, before she ties her hair back in a ponytail to make it more manageable. “Ooh, this is good!”

“Yeah, for Disney it’s not bad,” Janis agrees around a mouthful. “Where d’you want to go now?”

“There’s a little Alice in Wonderland maze thingy over that way, it looks cute,” Damian says as he finishes his own snack. “And would be a good way to recover from the coaster.”

“Yes, please, let’s go there,” Cady says, already setting off. Janis and Damian hurry after her towards the maze.

They decide to split up and see who makes it out first. Cady winds up winning, jumping up and down as her wife and friend come out after her. “I win!”

“Nice, Cads. Must be some Kenya left in you,” Damian congratulates, ruffling her hair. “Where now?”

“There’s a pirate thing over that way, I can’t remember if it’s Peter Pan or Pirates of the Caribbean,” Janis replies. “That’s pretty chill.”

“Oh, that sounds nice,” Cady says. Janis leads them over to it and hugs Cady tight as they wait in line.

“Are you having fun?” She asks quietly as Damian sings along to the music playing.

“Yeah, I really am,” Cady grins. “Are you?”

“Yeah,” Janis says back. “I am. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Cady replies.

-

By the time the sun is starting to go down, they’ve gone on everything they wanted to, eaten almost every food offered around the premises, and taken pictures with just about every character they could find.

They have enough time to stay and watch the fireworks before they have to catch the train back. Cady has exerted all of her energy, so Damian and Janis switch off carrying her piggyback around as they finish doing what they want to.

Janis has her as they watch the fireworks, bundled cozily in the matching Mickey Mouse hoodies they had bought when Cady got cold. Cady squishes their cheeks together as they both look up, their Mickey ears clacking together gently.

“I love you so much, Janis,” Cady says quietly as the last firework pops off in the sky. If Cady wasn’t so close Janis wouldn’t have heard. “More than words can say.”

“I love you too, Cady. More than any language can say,” Janis replies. Cady nuzzles into her neck and drifts off to sleep, so Janis just adjusts her grip and chats with Damian as they head out towards the gates.

—————

A couple days later, they head out to see the Palace of Versailles. They’d taken a day to recover from Disneyland, just staying in their hotel and spending quiet time together.

Cady has read up on the history of the palace, and is rattling off facts about each area they visit. Janis is very interested in the beautiful murals on some of the walls and the gorgeous statues scattered about. Damian is more interested in hearing about the royals who built and used to live in the palace. Cady tells them about everything they want to know.

“What if we had a garden like this at home, Jay?” Cady asks as they stroll around the sprawling grounds. Damian had wandered off and got stuck on a tour, so they’re waiting for him to be released.

“We would be very tired trying to maintain it,” Janis responds. “It’s so big, I’m tired just looking at it.”

“True,” Cady giggles. “But I think if we were rich enough to have something this big we’d be able to pay someone else to take care of it. Just think of how much hide and seek we could play here. I’d never run out of hiding spots.”

Janis laughs. “That’s why you want such a massive place? Just to play hide and seek?”

“Why not? What else are you supposed to do with it?” Cady asks. “Just walking around it must get boring after a while.”

“I don’t know that it would, it’s so beautiful,” Janis hums. “You could take a different path every day.”

“You could paint a different part every day, too,” Cady says. “And it must look different in every season, you could do four for each part!”

“You want four paintings for each bit of this place?” Janis chuckles.

“I always want your paintings,” Cady says quietly. “They’re part of you.”

Janis is almost stunned silent. “Thanks, baby. That’s why I love everything you make.”

“Even that shitty plate I tried to make you?” Cady giggles.

“It works! It’s a plate,” Janis insists. “I can still use it. The lumps are good for holding salsa and stuff.”

“And you say you’re not cute,” Cady responds. “I wonder how much this has changed since people lived here. Like, someone from two or three hundred years ago could have walked this same path.”

“I don’t think it’s changed much,” Janis says. “Maybe we walked it before. Past life, or something.”

“Could be,” Cady hums pensively. “You think we were together in a past life?”

“I don’t see why we couldn’t have been,” Janis says. “I definitely feel like I’ve known you a lot longer than I actually have.”

“I feel that way too, I just thought it was a cheesy ‘our souls are connected’ thing,” Cady giggles. “Oh, there’s Damian. Poor thing, he looks so confused.”

“I don’t think that tour he got stuck on was in English,” Janis laughs as they wave him over. “I told him he should keep studying French, but no.”

“How was it, Dame?” Cady asks as Damian finally makes his way to them.

“The bits I could understand were quite interesting,” Damian replies. “Lot of walking though, this place is big.”

“It’s massive! And everything is so detailed, I think I could walk around here every day for ten years and still miss something,” Cady says happily.

“Right? I almost plowed some people down because I kept staring at the ceilings,” Damian chuckles. “Anyway, have you ladies seen what you want to see? I’m hungry.”

“When are you not?” Janis jokes, earning her a whack from her wife. “Ow!”

“Be nice,” Cady scolds. “I’m ready to go, I’m hungry too.”

“I’m nice! This is just how we treat each other,” Janis insists. “You’ve known us for ten years, come on!”

“Yes, and I’ve been constantly exasperated with you two ever since,” Cady sighs lovingly. “Now come on.”

—————

They head to a chocolate shop on their second-to-last day in Paris, so Aaron can get the freshest sweets possible. Janis is slightly worried that they won’t be able to bring them on the plane, but she decides to cross that bridge once they get there.

“So what kinds of chocolate does your boy toy like, Dame?” Janis asks, looking at a small bag of truffles that she’s very interested in for herself.

“Anything, really, he loves candy,” Damian says. “Where did Caddy go?”

“I dunno, she said she wanted to see something,” Janis replies. “She went that way.”

“Hm. Okay,” Damian says suspiciously. “God, everything smells so good.”

“Fresh chocolate,” Janis responds. Familiar arms suddenly wrap around her waist from behind. “Hi, Peanut. What have you been up to?”

“Nothing,” Cady hums in a tone that says she’s definitely been up to something. “Did you pick something?”

“Damn, why is this so expensive?” Damian asks suddenly, holding a case of chocolates of varying flavors. “All of the stuff here is.”

“Because it’s handmade,” Janis says. “They make new stuff every day.”

“Jesus,” Damian sighs. “He’d like this, though.”

“Done,” Janis says as she takes it, working her way over to buy them with her wife still clinging to her. “Now, what did you really get up to, Butterfly?”

“I might have signed us up for an eclair making class,” Cady mumbles. “They said we get to eat the rejects, I couldn’t resist!”

Janis laughs. “That sounds fun, babe, it’s okay. When is it?”

“Now,” Cady says shyly as a man suddenly emerges from the back and greets them. They’re led to wash their hands and put on gloves and hairnets.

The chef gives the instructions in French, so Janis translates as quickly as she can. “Oh, shit.”

“What? We haven’t even done anything yet, what could’ve happened already?” Damian asks frantically.

“He says if ours are good enough they’ll sell them in the shop,” Janis explains. “Or at least use them as a display.”

“Ooh,” Cady says excitedly, paying even closer attention.

“Why is a little bread thing so complicated?” Janis asks in slight fear, as the chef adds flour to a milk mixture and cooks it out.

“But they’re so good,” Cady says, restraining herself from eating all the caramel ingredients and tasty chocolate within her reach. “It’s worth it!”

The chef instructs them through the process of making a sort of caramel custard while the eclairs bake. Damian has started taking notes on his phone.

They’re set loose then, to replicate what the chef has taught them from scratch. Cady starts what she remembers from making the pastry, adding milk and a few other things to a pan. “This already doesn’t look right.”

“Shh, no, it’s fine,” Janis says quickly. “Just keep going, it’ll be fine.” Miraculously, she’s half-right, by the time everything else has been added and combined it almost looks like the one done by a professional.

Damian helps Janis load the dough into the piping bag, Cady watching anxiously off to the side. Janis gets to pipe them out on the bakeware, trying to remember how the chef did it.

She butchers the first one. It turns out sort of lumpy and misshapen, but for her first try it’s not terrible. Unfortunately, the improvement for the others is rather minimal.

“What are you doing? The fuck is that?” Damian calls as she pipes one and twists the end the wrong way.

“My best! I’m doing my best,” Janis calls back. “Look, we can fix it, it’s fine!”

“It’s not fine, oh my god,” Damian says. Janis suddenly hits an air bubble, making one of the eclairs much shorter than it was supposed to be.

“And you’re not helping!” Janis says, piping a little more out. Cady is bent over double laughing at their interaction. “Get the egg wash ready, dork.”

Damian helps Cady get the wash ready, brushing it over the piped pastry and shaping them back to something approaching decent.

“There,” Cady says as she brushes tears of laughter from her eyes. “Good job, guys.”

Janis huffs as she rests the piping bag down and glares at Damian. “Thank you. I tried very hard.”

“I never said they were bad,” Damian defends as the chef helps them clean up to prepare to make the filling. He’s also laughing, apparently having understood most of the recent conversation. “I just criticized your every move.”

“And I appreciate that so much,” Janis says sarcastically. “You fixed them, they’ll be fine.”

Cady gets to make most of the filling, with the chef watching protectively nearby in case of disaster. For her first time making caramel, she does remarkably well. She yelps a little when it puffs up as they add the cream to make it a custard, but recovers quickly and keeps going.

“There, see? Much easier,” Cady says, looking meaningfully at her wife and friend. The caramel is only slightly burnt, but the chef tasted it and said she could get away with it. That was her goal all along.

The eclairs come out of the oven looking remarkably good, and Cady helps Janis prepare the piping bag for the filling. The chef watches them in amusement, and Cady suddenly realizes they’ve made a terrible error.

“Jay?” She asks as Janis fills the bag, blissfully unaware.

“What?” Janis asks.

“We’ve made a mistake,” Cady mumbles, trying to hold back laughter.

“What? What did we do wrong?” Janis asks sadly.

Cady giggles hysterically. “When is the tip supposed to go in?”

Janis’ eyes go wide, and Damian bursts out laughing.

“Shit. Um... how do... what do we do?” Janis asks.

“Take the filling back out so we can put it in?” Cady suggests. Janis takes the bag and scrapes the caramel custard back into the bowl frantically while Cady hunts for the piping tip. “There, problem solved.”

“How are we so bad at this?” Janis mumbles as Cady puts the tip in and holds it for Janis to refill.

“We’re American,” Damian answers. “And eclairs are, like, famously tough to make.”

Once the filling bag is properly constructed, Cady hands the bag to Damian so he can pipe the eclairs full.

“You’re doing it wrong,” Janis teases to get him back. “Look, you have to fill them more! What are you doing?”

“Okay, point proven,” Damian grumbles as he pipes in more on the other side. Cady covers them with the same custard once they’re all full, and then a piece of chocolate is rested on as decoration.

“Yay, we didn’t do that bad!” Cady cheers. “They don’t look that different from his.”

“Yeah, but how do they taste?” Janis asks. She grabs what is clearly the worst looking one and takes a bite, and her eyes go wide when it’s actually quite good. “Oh, shit. Guys, try it.” Cady takes a bite too, and she dances happily at the taste. Damian goes next, giving a surprised hum.

The chef tries one of his own, hiding his surprise well. He informs them that they’re not quite good enough to sell, but they look good enough that they can pick one to put in the window. They pick the best looking one, and get to take the rest home.

“Well that was certainly an experience,” Damian chuckles. “Nice pick, Cads.”

“Thanks! That was fun,” Cady says happily. “And we get eclairs!”

Janis chuckles at how cute her wife is. “Let’s go eat them all.”

—————

On their last full day in Paris, they finally get to go up the Eiffel tower. Damian and Janis are more than a little anxious, since it’s so high, but Cady promises to keep them both safe.

The sun went down a few hours ago, and the stars are out in full force. Cady leans up against the railing and looks out over the rooftops of Paris, thinking back on all the experiences she’s gotten to have over the last week and a half or so.

Janis comes up to hug her from behind as she spies Notre Dame, making her jump. They were warned about pickpockets, so they gave everything important to Janis to keep in her inner jacket pockets. Cady still gets startled.

“Sorry,” Janis says quietly. “Just me.”

Cady leans back against her and turns to smile up at her. “Just my favorite person in the world.”

Janis chuckles. “You’re pretty high on my list, too.”

“Good, nice to know,” Cady giggles in reply.

“Was this a good trip?” Janis asks, kissing her cheek and looking out. She can see the candy shop they got Aaron’s thank you present from the day before, and their hotel. It’s all lit up, and very beautiful.

“A great trip. I loved every minute,” Cady replies. “I don’t want to go home.”

“I don’t either,” Janis says. “We’ll come back soon.”

“We better. We can actually go places now that I’m not in school anymore,” Cady replies. “Thanks for bringing us here.”

“Of course. Dame, come here,” Janis says, reaching for him. He comes to join the cuddle, forming a group hug.

“I love you guys,” he says quietly. “Thanks for the trip, Janjan.”

Janis sniffs, crying slightly. “Both of you stop it, this is too mushy.”

“Aww, Jellybean,” Cady coos. “Come here.” She pulls Janis and Damian in tighter, both of them bending down slightly to cuddle into her shoulders. “I love both of you so much.”

“I said stop,” Janis whines. “God, I love you guys so much.”

“We are in the city of love, Jan, you can’t stop it,” Damian chuckles. “I don’t even want to think about what you two did in that room.”

“Damian Hubbard!” Cady scolds. “Behave.”

“Sorry,” Damian says sheepishly. “I’ll give you guys a moment.” He heads to the other side then, looking out over a different part of the city.

Janis pulls back from her wife and wipes her eyes gently, Cady cupping her face and running her thumbs over her cheeks.

“J’taime tellement,” Cady whispers, leaning up to press their lips together. Another thing to check off their bucket lists, making out on top of the Eiffel tower.

“J’taime aussi,” Janis replies between kisses. “Tellement.”

“We’ll come back someday,” Cady murmurs gently, ghosting the words against Janis’ lips. “We do have to go home.”

“Do you want to know your other surprise?” Janis asks. “Make going home a little easier?”

“Yeah,” Cady says excitedly. Janis grins.

“Remember how when you were trying to guess what I got you in the first place, you asked if we were getting a puppy? And I said no?” Janis asks. Cady nods. “I lied.”

“Really?” Cady squeals. “You’re serious?”

“I don’t kid around about puppies. I found a breeder who just had a litter of golden retrievers a while ago, once we get settled back home we’ll go choose one,” Janis replies, giggling as Cady kisses her passionately again.

“Oh, golden retriever puppies are so cute, yay,” Cady says, bouncing happily. “Elvira gets a sibling.”

“Oh, she’s gonna hate that,” Janis chuckles.

“She’s still young, she’ll learn to like them,” Cady says. “She’s only two.”

“Yeah, that’s, like, a lot of cat years,” Janis says. “She’s a moody teenager.”

“God, yeah,” Cady chuckles. “Sleeps all day too. Oh well, we’ll pick a puppy with a similar personality.”

“I think you’re right, though. They’ll get used to each other eventually,” Janis says.

“We’ll work on it,” Cady replies. “Good job, love, now I almost want to go home.”

“Good,” Janis laughs. “But for now, kiss me again.”

“Gladly,” Cady purrs, popping up on her tippy toes again.

————-

A week later, they’re back in New York and almost adjusted once again to the time change. Time for a puppy.

They’d gotten all the supplies they would need the day before and set up the living room, deciding to keep Elvira in the bedroom until they were ready to be introduced face to face.

Cady shakes with excitement almost the whole way, frantically fiddling with a few of the stim toys she’s recently added to her collection.

When they enter the shelter, they’re immediately swarmed by a flock of puppies, wagging their tails happily and sniffing their shoes. One hops up on its hind legs to sniff Cady better.

“Oh my god,” Cady squeals, in a higher pitch than Janis has ever heard from her. “Oh, you’re all so cute, how am I supposed to pick?”

Janis sits down and laughs as several clamber onto her lap, trying to kiss her face. Cady follows suit, shrieking in surprise as about seven suddenly swarm in and knock her onto her back. One makes it to her face first, sniffing curiously at her nose before settling in on her chest for a nap.

“Oh. Who’s this one?” Cady asks, waving the others away from her face and cradling the one resting.

“That’s Salt. You can change her name if you want,” the breeder replies. “She’s the smallest, and pretty lazy, but she’s very gentle.”

Janis comes over carrying three others in her arms, trying to keep them off her lap. She extends a hand for Salt to sniff and chuckles when she chomps gently on her fingers.

“What do you think, baby?” Janis asks, looking at her wife.

“I love her,” Cady says happily. “Look at that face! We have to go now or I’ll take all of them, get me out of here. I want this one.”

“Sounds good, Butterfly,” Janis laughs. “Come on, let’s go get everything sorted.”

“Okay,” Cady says, scooping up her puppy and following them. “Bye guys! Oh, god, all of you are so sweet.”

“Okay, Salt here is already spayed and microchipped, mostly housebroken, but she’s not trained in any other way. She’s also had all her vaccinations to date, and here’s a recommendation for a vet,” the breeder says. “We notify on our social media whenever one gets adopted, so if you’d ever like to meet up with any of her siblings you can get in touch with their families that way.”

“Aww, that’s great, you’ll get to see your brothers and sisters again,” Cady coos. “Now we get to take you home!”

Janis manages to wiggle the puppy into her new harness and clip the leash on, leading her wife and new addition out once the puppy has said her goodbyes.

“What should we name her, Cads?” Janis asks as the puppy sniffs at a tree.

“What was the name of that shop? From Marseille, where your parents met?” Cady asks.

“La Jonquille,” Janis replies.

“What does that mean? I forgot,” Cady says with a chuckle as Salt runs out of leash and falls down.

“The Daffodil,” Janis says.

“Aww! What about Daffodil? That’s cute,” Cady squeals. “And we could call her Daffy.”

“I like it,” Janis replies. “Come here, Daffy! Come here!” Daffodil comes running over and bumps into Cady’s legs. “Aww, she likes it too, she responded to it.”

“Yay,” Cady says, picking her up and laughing as Daffy licks her face happily. “Oh, goodness, we love you too.”

“Okay, you ready to go home?” Janis asks, scratching behind Daffodil’s little ears.

“Yeah,” Cady grins, taking the leash and holding hands with her wife with her other hand.

But I’m always home with you.

-

does one of the characters in this have my real name because I am just that lazy? yes. this work was a challenge for me, but so much fun to write. hope you enjoyed!

our status for requests is the same as it was in the previous work. I am still taking them, but be aware that it will be July until your work is released.

thanks for reading!

lots of love,

ezzy

#cadnis #paint by numbers #space safari #cady heron x janis sarkisian #cady x janis #cady heron #janis sarkisian #damian hubbard #aaron samuels #mean girls #mean girls broadway #mean girls musical

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

Death by a Thousand Cuts - j. debrusk

Trying to venture into some new territory, let me know what you think! Title’s from the Taylor Swift song. 4.8k of post-breakup Jake DeBrusk angst, as always, I love hearing feedback! I read all the tags, so feel free to reblog, pop into my inbox, anything!

Wine pairing from someone with zero authority on the subject: a full-bodied Syrah - smooth, fruity, the kind of wine I’d want to drink if I was sad. 

My heart, my hips, my body, my love/Trying to find a part of me you didn’t touch

Shadi threw back another shot, wincing as the vodka burned down her throat. Clara rubbed her back sympathetically. “Better?” She shrugged. Alcohol was great for forgetting things, but there were some wounds too fresh and too deep for even a Sazerac to cure. And her wounds were named Jake DeBrusk.

Jake had been her everything, still was her everything, and the idea that she was somehow now in charge of forgetting everything they had shared was more than she could bear. Breakups weren’t something Shadi took lightly, and especially when she had spent the past year falling more in love with him with each breath she took. Forgetting more than a year’s worth of early-morning conversations in his bed, Jake’s hand gently brushing back her hair before kissing her temple and going out to the kitchen to start the coffee pot. Shadi couldn’t start her day without coffee. A year’s worth of games, up in the box with the other WAGs and down in the tunnel, their lips crashing together in the euphoria of a post-win high. A year’s worth of vacations, to Edmonton to visit his family and Dallas to see hers, laying on the white sand beaches of Tahiti in the summer. A year’s worth of falling asleep to him tracing lines between the freckles on her bare back in the glow of the post-sex fog. It wasn’t like she was going to forget any of it anytime soon. And if Shadi was being honest with herself, it wasn’t like she wanted to. 

---

Shadi met Jake just after moving into her new apartment with Clara, her best friend from BC, when they decided to celebrate their newfound jobs and independence with a bar crawl. As luck would have it, they never actually made it past the first one. Clara had just finished up her first week as a tenth grade English teacher, and Shadi had the weekend to relax before her marketing analytics post started on Monday. 

She wasn't going out to meet someone, not really, but if there was someone attractive enough and charming enough she wasn’t absolutely opposed to spending the night in a bed that wasn’t her own. Shadi sat at the bar, responding to a few texts and sipping her drink as she waited for Clara to return from the bathroom. She wasn’t paying enough attention to her surroundings to notice someone sidle up next to her, getting a little too close for comfort. “Hey,” he said loudly, startling her. Shadi looked up — way up, he was at least six or seven inches taller than her 5’5 — to the stranger’s face, flashing a tight smile. She didn’t know any women who particularly liked to be accosted in the middle of a drink. 

“Hey,” she said. 

He inched closer. “I’m Darren, nice to meet you.”

As much as she’d really just like to be able to tell the guy to fuck all the way off, Shadi hated that it was a far better decision for her safety and security to just try and tacitly go along with it. Let him down easy. 

“Shadi,” she responded. 

He whistled, and she internally cringed, trying as subtly as she could to look towards the bathrooms and trying to spot Clara. More than once, they had pretended to be a couple at bars to get each other out of situations exactly like this one. “Shadi,” he said, testing out the name. “What is that? Arabic? Indian?”

Now she visibly cringed, raising her eyebrows. Great, he’s racist as well as a creep. “Neither. I’m Persian.” 

“Cool, super cool,” he said, nodding. “So, Shadi, what brings you here?”

“Starting a new job next week,” she said, looking back down at her phone, trying to give him just enough information to keep him from being pissed at her. 

Darren finished his drink. “That’s cool, yeah. Good for you. I work in finance. High-level account managing and stuff. It’s a lot of responsibility, but I like the challenge.” Great, add finance bro to the list of reasons why I’ll never go home with this guy, Shadi thought. 

“Nice,” Shadi said, looking away and taking a sip of her drink and trying her damndest to make it clear she wasn’t interested. 

Darren moved even closer, his hand now resting on her waist as Shadi leaned as far away from him as she could while still staying on her seat, looking frantically around for Clara, or anyone, to bail her out. “You come here with anyone?”

“Uh, yeah,” Shadi said nervously, eyes still sweeping the room. “My boyfriend should be around here somewhere.” Darren didn’t need to know she didn’t have a boyfriend, and as much as she hated that men like him were more likely to leave her alone if they thought she was spoken for than if she told him herself she wasn’t interested, it was the best thing she could do in the moment. 

Darren took a cursory glance around the room. “I don’t see anyone coming,” he noted. “You sure about that, Shadi?

“Yes,” she squeaked, as his hand tightened around her waist and she froze like a deer in headlights, too stiff to flag down the bartender.

“It’s polite to look at people when they’re talking to you, or did they not teach that where you’re from?” 

Shaking, she turned back to look at him. “I’m from Texas,” she spat. 

“I think we could really have some fun together, if you’d just stop being so uptight we could really—” Darren didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence, his arm being forcefully removed from her waist. She swung around, meeting the eyes of her unknown savior, who was too busy glaring at the man across from her to even meet her eyes. 

“Seems like you’re having a hard time taking no for an answer,” he said. 

Darren looked up, rubbing his wrist from where it had been in a vice grip only moments before. “You the boyfriend?”

The other man didn’t even flinch. “Yeah, I’m the boyfriend. Even if I wasn’t, she clearly doesn’t want anything to do with you, but she’s just too polite to tell you to fuck off. Luckily,” he smirked. “I’m not.”

Darren rolled his eyes, grabbing his half-empty glass and inching away from the bar. “Whatever. Wouldn’t have been worth it anyways.” 

Shadi collapsed into her hands as soon as he was out of earshot, breathing shakily. The stranger reached out tentatively, rubbing her shoulder to comfort her. “You okay?”

She leaned back, taking another drink and nodding. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be okay, it’s not like it’s the first time this has happened. He just really didn’t want to leave me alone and I couldn’t find my friend and he didn’t seem to be getting the message that I wasn’t interested.” 

He grimaced. “On behalf of my entire gender, I apologize for all the shitty men you have ever had to encounter.”

“Thank you,” she said, laughing slightly and setting her glass back down on the bar. “And thanks for stepping in, you really didn’t have to.”

He shook his head. “I just did what any decent guy would do. I’ve got a sister, girls deserve to feel safe in bars.”

“Regardless,” she added, “I appreciated it. And just so you know,” she said, pausing, “you don’t have to worry about an actual boyfriend coming around. I’ve just found it’s the easiest way for guys to leave me alone.” Shadi surprised herself; she wasn’t normally this bold. 

He dipped his head. “Good to know. Probably should properly introduce myself, then. Jake DeBrusk,” he said, sticking his hand out. 

“Shadi Azizi.” She shook it, smirking slightly as she took a sip of her drink. “I know.” 

He smiled bashfully, scratching his head. “Hockey fan?” 

She nodded. “I’ll go to Bruins games when I can make it, but I’m from Dallas, so…” she shrugged. 

“You’ve already sold your soul to the Stars,” Jake finished. 

Shadi laughed. “Yep. You can take the girl out of Texas, but you can’t take the Texas out of the girl.”

Jake eyed her glass, seeing that she was nearly finished. “Can I get you another?” Shadi nodded after a moment. “Sure.” He caught the bartender’s eye. “What are you drinking?” “Whiskey on the rocks.” Jake leaned back on his stool, clutching his hands over his chest. “A woman after my own heart.”

---

Three months later, it was November, and Shadi was in Jake’s kitchen, doling out Chinese takeout onto two plates. “Beer?” she asked over the counter, to where Jake was flopped on the couch, flipping through channels in hopes of finding something mildly interesting to watch.

“Yes please,” he shot back. He had just gotten back from a road trip that afternoon, eleven days in the Midwest, and there were few things he wanted more than to be back in Shadi’s arms. They had started a sort of unspoken tradition; Shadi had taken to spending the night whenever Jake came back from a road trip, and he wasn’t about to start complaining. He loved his job and he loved his team, but after a week or two of being around them practically 24/7, he didn’t want to waste any time getting back to her. 

Shadi padded back towards the living room, sliding a plate of lo mein and fried rice over to Jake, who leaned in and kissed her shoulder. “Thanks, babe,” he said, putting the remote down. “Parks and Rec good with you?”

She nodded, mouth full. “Doesn’t take much to convince me. I’d kill a man for Leslie Knope.”

Jake laughed. Shadi looked over at him, one eyebrow raised. “You think I’m joking?”

He held his free hand up in mock surrender, the other balancing his plate on the arm of the couch. “I should have known better. Will you ever forgive me?”

“Maybe,” Shadi said, scrunching up her nose. “I think I can find it somewhere deep in the recesses of my cold, dead heart.” 

Things between Jake and Shadi had gotten pretty serious pretty quickly, certainly more quickly than Jake was expecting. But, as he was realizing, that wasn’t exactly a bad thing. The scene was definitely more domestic than he was used to; it wasn’t unusual for him and Shadi to join some of their friends or the team for a night out at the bars or clubs, but it was just as common to have an evening in. It was nice, being together like this. Domesticity was never something that was quite his style, but as he thought, looking over at Shadi, who was entirely engrossed in Leslie’s valiant attempts to control a town hall meeting, maybe it could become his style.

You said it was a great love, one for the ages/But if the story’s over, why am I still writing pages?

It was the end of January, and Shadi was in Edmonton. Jake had told her about Boston’s bye week about two months earlier, the plan having originally been to drive up to New Hampshire for a week of camping in White Mountain. But then Jake had been selected for the All-Star Team, much to his surprise — not Shadi’s, who had been convinced he’d be picked practically since the season started —  and their schedule had been turned on its head. He had decided that it would make more sense to visit his family. Shadi didn’t complain; she had just started to get used to Boston winters, and wasn’t confident in her ability to go a week in a tent in the middle of January.

What surprised her, though, was when he invited her to come with him. She had never met his parents in person before. Over FaceTime, sure, but it wasn’t the same. Jake was initially very shy about extending the invitation, almost as if he wasn’t sure if that was something she wanted or was ready for. His concern was sweet, but Shadi was more touched that he had asked her to come in the first place, and put in her request for vacation time that night. 

The flight wasn’t much over six hours, a short layover in Montréal and one connection later and they landed in Edmonton. Shadi met up with Jake just outside of passport control, pulling her pea coat tightly around herself. “Ooh,” she said, breathing out shakily. “Bit chilly here, no?”

Jake laughed. Oh, if only she knew. “Wait till you get outside, babe. It’s January in the middle of Alberta.”

“How bad can it get?” Shadi asked naively. Pretty bad, as she found out the moment they stepped outside the terminal into the freezing air. She was suddenly very grateful her parka was in her bag, a Patagonia jacket that had been one of her first big purchases when she moved to Boston. Jake was having a very good fun time poking fun at her in the three minutes it took for his parents to pull up. 

“Aww, is my Texas girl cold? Is she having trouble dealing with real weather?”

Shadi glared at him. “Shut up.”

His parents were incredible, kind and welcoming from the moment they picked them up at the airport. They drove them back to Jake’s childhood home, where his sister greeted her with a hug. She had visited Boston a few weeks prior, her and Shadi immediately getting along thanks to their shared taste in coffee orders and music. They had swapped Spotify playlists more than one time since her visit. 

The week she spent in Edmonton was amazing. Even though she may have been a little bit apprehensive from the start, all of her worries were just distant memories by the time they had to get back on the plane. She had always been good with parents; whether it was her best friend or her boyfriend, they had always liked her. Making a good impression and being unfailingly respectful, especially to her elders, was a value that had been instilled in her from a young age. She had brought a tin of qurabiya on the plane as a gift for them, after a half-dozen Google searches to make sure she could bring them across the border and a twenty minute long phone call with her mom to make sure she was using the right type of almonds. They loved them, and seeing the tin already empty on the third day of her trip filled her heart.

“She’s really good for you, you know,” his mom said, as he was packing his suitcase for the flight back. “You’re still you, fun and spontaneous and caring. But you’re a more mature, thoughtful version of yourself. And I think that’s thanks to Shadi.”

Jake blushed, shoving his toothbrush in his toiletry bag. “She is. She’s great, Mom. We have so much fun together, and she really does bring out the best in me.” He paused for a moment. “I think I’m in love with her.”

His mom raised her eyebrows, not surprised and certainly not disappointed, but a little astonished that he had realized himself what she saw from the moment they had landed in Canada. She had just been waiting for him to admit it. “You do?” she asked, a hint of a smile on her face.

He nodded, more sure this time. “I’m in love with her, Mom.”

Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand/Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans

“You doing okay, babe?” Clara asked gently, one hand on Shadi’s back as she nursed her third beer of the night. Shadi reached up to try and wipe away her tears. Thank God she hadn’t worn any mascara. She nodded, trying to flash her best friend a smile, but it didn’t meet her eyes. 

Shadi hadn’t ever been the kind of person to put up walls. That was Jake’s thing. But she was a great actress, and if Clara hadn’t known her as well as she did, she wouldn’t have been able to call her on it. 

“Bullshit, Shadi. You’re not fine and I know it. You know it.” God, Clara could read her like a book. It wasn’t okay, she wasn’t okay, and she sure as hell wasn’t over him. She didn’t know when she would be over him. If ever. 

They said that Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it burned in one. If Rome was a metaphor for their relationship, Shadi would say there’s never been a more accurate phrase. All it took was five minutes for Jake to break her heart, for the world they had built together to come crumbling apart around her. As much as she hated it, there was still a part of her that couldn’t help but try to look back on that night. Shadi almost called bullshit on him the moment he said he was breaking up with her, because he had never even brought it up before, and that’s not something you just drop on someone like he did, right? But she didn’t, she hadn’t gotten closure and hadn’t gotten a reason, an actual reason, and so any curly hair she saw out of the corner of her eye that night she kept hoping was Jake’s, and any cocky smile from some guy trying to buy her a drink — she’d let them, for the free alcohol, but they never got a conversation out of her — she kept wishing was his. 

---

It was September, and Shadi felt like she was walking on air. She and Jake had celebrated their one year anniversary a month ago, and things couldn’t be going better. Training camp for the new season had started, which had begun to take up more of his time than she maybe would have liked, but she was dealing with it. They both were. It was like Shadi had told him two months into their relationship, and countless times since: she knew what she was signing up for, knew that sometimes she would have to take a backseat to hockey, and she was okay with that. Having Jake some of the time was better than not having him at all. 

So when Jake had texted her that morning, asking if she was free to come over that night, she thought nothing of it. Well, scratch that, she thought a lot of it. It had been about two weeks since they had had a proper date night; while she loved him sneaking into her apartment to sleep for a few hours before he had to get up or meeting in the mornings for coffee and bagels, they were in desperate need of some alone time. Jake hadn’t exactly been distant since their anniversary, but it had definitely seemed like something was on his mind. And when she asked Clara, or her older sister Yasmin, or Hannah, her best friend in Houston, they all said the same thing. If nothing seemed like it was going wrong, but he was seeming distant, but they were still communicating, then there was really only one possibility, at least according to them. He was going to propose. 

So Shadi took a little longer in front of the mirror, put on her good jeans instead of just a pair of sweats, ran a comb through her hair. She grabbed her car keys, locking the door to her apartment and nervously pressing on the elevator button. Why was she nervous? She was in love with Jake. She saw a future with him, a future together. If tonight was going to be the start of forever, there was nothing to be afraid of. I wonder what Jake’s doing now, Shadi thought. Was he waiting for her on the couch? Trying to cook pasta, the only dinner he could reliably make without burning? Pacing back and forth in his room, turning over the ring box in his hand? The ring. What did it look like? Did he buy it new, or was it a family heirloom? Did he ask any of the guys on the team for tips, or did — Stop it, Shadi reminded herself. He doesn’t have to be proposing. We do nights in almost every week. Maybe he just wants to watch a movie. But in the back of her mind, as she pulled out of the parking garage, was the possibility that she was about to walk into one of the most important nights of her life. And it was, but not in the way she thought. Not in the way she wanted. 

Jake’s place was only ten minutes away from hers; before she even knew it, she was killing the engine and walking up the stairs to his door. She tapped her knuckles against the wood. It was barely ten seconds before Jake opened it up, smiling at her.  “Hey, thanks for coming over,” he said, leading her into the living room and pressing a kiss against her cheek, lingering a little longer than usual 

Shadi knew something was off even as they sat on the couch thirty minutes later, Star Wars playing on the screen in front of them. If she was being honest, she knew something was wrong from the moment she got there. Jake was acting stuff, not distant, but almost confused. LIke he had something on his mind that he couldn’t quite spit out. And it didn’t seem like a proposal. “Alright,” Shadi said, huffing and propping herself up on one arm to face Jake. “What’s up.”

To his credit, he didn’t mince words, didn’t play dumb. He knew better than to insult her intelligence like that, and she knew better than to believe him. “You noticed, huh?”

She rolled her eyes. “I love you for a lot of reasons, J, but you really do have a terrible poker face.”

Jake sighed, running a hand through his hair, leaving a piece hanging in front of his eye. “Alright,” he said, in that kind of I-know-what-I-need-to-say-but-I-don’t-want-to-say-it tone, the one that she wasn’t expecting. The one that never means good news. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking on my life, our lives over the past thirteen months we’ve been together, and I’ve loved every minute of the time that we’ve spent together.” Okay, Shadi furrowed her brows, where’s he going with this? “I’ve also been doing a lot of thinking about my priorities in life, where they are right now and where I think they should be. And I’ve realized that,” he swallowed, “I’m at a place in my life where I need to be focusing on hockey.” Oh no. “And I don’t think I’m in a position where I can have a relationship and be as invested in my career as I need to be.” Oh God. 

Shadi sat up, stunned. “Are you...Are you breaking up with me?” 

Jake nodded his head jerkily. “And I want you to know that I don’t regret anything about our relationship. I don’t have anything bad to say about you, or the time we’ve spent together, or anything. I just don’t think I’m able to give you, or our relationship, the attention it deserves. You deserve someone who’s going to be able to dedicate a hundred percent to you, and as much as I wish I could, I don’t think I’m that person.”

“So, you’re saying I’m a distraction?” Shadi asked slowly, her eyes shiny with unshed tears. 

Jake ran a hand through his hair, tangling his fingers in his curls. “Fuck. No. That’s not it. I just don’t know if I’m in a place where I’m able to juggle two things that are so important, and that I want to dedicate this much time to.” 

She scoffed. “Are you really trying to pull the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ line with me, DeBrusk?” That stung. She never called him by his last name, not even when they started dating. It was J, or babe, or even Jake if she was particularly annoyed, but never just DeBrusk. 

“Would it make you feel better if I was?” 

Shadi shook her head. “It’s worse. Don’t you know that it’s worse? Because then there’s not anything I feel like I could have done differently. Nothing I could have done to change your mind.” Her eyes drifted down to her right hand, where the gorgeous pearl ring Jake had gotten her for their anniversary just a month prior sat on her ring finger. “You said you were going to marry me one day,” Shadi said, sliding her fingertips down to the band and gently twisting it off. Her hand felt bare, even though it had only been there for a month. Jake’s breath caught in his throat. Never make a promise you can’t keep. 

Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

God, sometimes Shadi just felt so fucking stupid. She almost felt naive, shortsighted from not listening to her friends in Boston, or people back home who warned her about Jake.“You know his reputation. You know how hockey players are” Shadi couldn’t count the number of times people had told her that, and the number of times she hadn’t listened. “He doesn’t stick with any one girl.” “I know you like him, but he’s only going to break your heart.” But the thing was, he hadn’t. Jake had made it clear, straight from the start of their relationship, that they were exclusive, and he backed it up. She wore his jersey to games, went as his date to all the Bruins fundraisers, and took the week off to come with him when he was selected for the All-Star Game. Jake knew his reputation better than anyone, and that’s why he was so committed to making sure she knew that he wasn’t the kind of guy everyone kept trying to peg him as. And Shadi had never felt so much pride then when she was able to turn around, prove them wrong, and say: “You see? He’s never done anything to hurt me, and he’s not about to start now.” 

But she couldn’t, not anymore. She couldn’t, because they all had been right and he had broken his promises and her heart and now she was crying in a bar with her best friend on a Friday night and had no clue how to get a grip of her feelings. She pounded back another beer, barely even stopping to swallow before ordering a fourth round. Or was it a fifth? She didn’t know, and at that point, she really didn’t care. 

I get drunk, but it's not enough/’Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby

Sometime past one but before her next door neighbor’s chihuahua always started barking at two, Shadi stumbled into her apartment. She unstrapped her heels and placed them haphazardly by the door as she walked down to the bathroom, reaching around the cupboard for her toothpaste. Teeth were brushed and flossed, and she had shed nearly all of her clothes by the time she reached her bed. She grabbed the nearest sweatshirt to pull over her body as makeshift pajamas, only half paying attention. Shadi was too tired to look too closely; if she had, she would have noticed that it was a Bruins hoodie, the very first one Jake had ever given to her, a month and a half into their relationship. 

It seemed like Shadi had barely drifted off to sleep when she was woken up by the sound of frantic knocks on her door. Her first thought was something was wrong with Clara, who lived down the hall, that she wasn’t feeling well or needed to be talked out of texting her ex-girlfriend. It had happened before. But then she realized that Clara would have called first. Then her thought was a fire somewhere, but she didn’t smell smoke and her alarm hadn’t gone off. The knocking persisted. “Okay, okay, I’m coming. You’re going to wake up the whole building,” Shadi grumbled, throwing back the covers and padding out to the living room, pants be damned. 

She tried to wipe the sleep out of her eyes, the harsh light of the hallway fluorescents the first thing she noticed as the door swung open. The second thing was the person standing in front of it. It was Jake. His hand was frozen in the air, like he was about to knock for a fourth time if she hadn’t answered. “What are you doing here?” she whispered, her voice small. She didn’t trust it to speak any louder. 

Jake’s breath hitched as he noticed what she was wearing. His sweatshirt. He stuffed his hand into his jeans pocket, pulling out her pearl ring. The same one she had taken off the day he left, the same one he had given her when his thoughts of the future were filled with big houses and weddings and kids’ birthday parties. He held it out to her. “I had to see you.”

#hockey imagine #hockey smut #nhl imagine #nhl smut #jake debrusk #boston bruins #hockey #hockey imagines #hockey writing #nhl #nhl imagines #nhl writing

[in-tua-deep]

tua rewatch with the roommate

Episode five

Oh fuck the “I found you. all your bodies.” scene

“We died?” “Horribly.” throwback to the ben convo o o f

“If perfectly arranged under rubble and otherwise unharmed counts as ‘horribly”’  - roommate

I like that Diego says he’s going to kill Hazel and Cha-Cha like it’s a challenge?? lol five doesn’t care if they live or die he only cares if u do you big dumbass

“Well I know none of the main characters die bc there’s a season 2... and i’m pretty sure they’re all in s2... like all of the family?”

I mean luther is kind of valid for being frustrated that five didn’t share about the apocalypse but also like,,, the first person five told about it (Vanya) suggested he might be insane. so. i can understand some reluctance on his part on top of the whole “the last time my siblings fought this the Whole World Died Including Them i would like them as far away from apocalypse stuff as possible”

okay okay so five says “they turned me into the perfect instrument” so do y’all think that implies experimentation like in the comics or ????

all i can think about during the kennedy scene though is my high school history teacher. he went over the assassination in intimate detail and i’m pretty sure he was writing a book about it and everything. mr. hansen if you’re out there - 

i like feral beard five more than mustache five tbh if i’m picking 

“Someone ELSE shot the president? Was he supposed to shoot kennedy or was he supposed to kill the person who shot kennedy?” - Roommate

love that five tells luther to grow up over murder,,, though to be valid pretty sure they did actually murder people as kids SO. grow down?

fuck i love mary,, will you love me like you loved me in the january rain??? just shoot me in the heart

GOD rob is such a good actor

“wait a second... how is he wearing pants?” oh roommate you have a big storm coming

i have some serious questions about the commission and their methods of communication. where do?? the tubes come from? where do they go after?

Allison: i have a bad feeling [about leonard]

where are these instincts for everything else tho??? her marriage?

“Vanya. she really is trying to look out for you. i really would trust her. you could invite her to come along so she can see he’s perfectly fine??” - Roommate, whose instincts regarding not trusting leonard-harold are spot on

apparently my roommate knows people who put salt in their coffee. i have. so many questions.

“That’s suspicious?? that’s suspicious right?? did he do that? is he a secret serial killer? is he a FUCKING secret serial killer?” roommate when they talk about helen cho going missing

“What do you mean stop showing up it’s been like. a day” - I mean. the roommate has a point. 

Klaus’s depression bath is a mood :(

did klaus put eye shadow on before his bath or did he get his hands on eye shadow in vietnam?? the questions that will never be answered

Five is so enthusiastic about having someone who understands... he doesn’t even notice absolutely Not Being In The Mood,, klaus is grieving and five is just like !!! where did you go!!!! like it was a vacation

klaus: yeah i’m ten months older now. when i’m done being depressed i will lord that over diego for the rest of our natural lives.

does five write in all caps all the time?? why? 

roommate: I wonder what the upper size limit on the knives her can use. like is it machete length? forearm length? what are the limits on his powers. if he sharpened a very sharp mechanical pencil could he use it? if he sharpened a piece of the chandelier? at what point does something become a knife?

me: could he hurl mia (my cat)? mia and her knife feet?

allison also writes in all caps to write leonard’s address

we stan agnes and hazel in this household

“I never said we didn’t !! i just thought she was just a random extra in the first episode and every time we cut away i think that’s the last we’ve seen of her” - roommate because i keep saying that this is an agnes stan household

“OH THERE’S THE PATCHWORK COAT i was afraid it didn’t come back” - okay though good question he definitely didn’t have the coat on the bus. what is it with klaus and his magically appearing coat????

oh :(  oh klaus :(  every time klaus is sad i am also sad :(

honestly a family conversation IS the threat in this family

god though this random vet in this bar is actually an asshole though like. klaus doesn’t owe him shit. klaus served. he’s clearly having a moment with the photo. that could have been a family member or something who died i don’t even know

agnes: i’m a twitcher :)

“like a twitch streamer?” -Roommate

PLEASE give me twitch streamer!Agnes au

look i just enjoy hazel and agnes

roommate: honey you’re too young for her

me: NO DON’T BE MEAN TO THEM,,, agnes deserves a boytoy

“does diego drive a manual?” my roommate once again focusing on things that i do not

five: i have to find the people whose deaths could save the timeline

my roommate: is it agnes?? is he going to kill agnes????

i’m still laughing about that fact that luther is holding dolores.... over the fire escape... she couldn’t drop that far lads

luther’s dumb sometimes but he does have some nice heart to hearts with his brother,,,, honestly he and five get along pretty well in the early episodes. kindred spirits. body dysmorphia and isolation squad.

my roommate has to keep remembering social media doesn’t exist in this universe

i am still confused as to why

that won’t stop me from giving everyone iphones and youtube accounts in my aus though

diego can curve ANYTHING he throws, usually knives, according to cha-cha’s research. but that doesn’t explain the spoilers i have seen about s2 sO

Klaus: You also told me that licking a nine volt battery would give me pubes

HOW DID I FORGET THAT LINE

oh diego got a bullet graze forgot about that as well?? does he ever get like. medical attention for that? diego?????

it really has been like. maybe two days since helen cho died. is no one??? concerned????? they just immediately jump into replacing her??????????????????? hellO? 

“very clear camera angles to show that this actress did not actually play the violin for this role” - i mean that’s fair but ellen is trying rip

me: who’s your favorite character so far?  roommate: that’s a tricky question. klaus is very entertaining to watch. allison is the most reasonable and i’m very interested to know, well, she seems like the best combination of reasonable and has the least selfish intentions. diego and luther i feel like are both good in a bland way in that they’re both doing good in the best way they can which usually involves punching people. five is fun. five is very fun. five is as fun to watch as klaus, they’re both very fun actors to watch on screen. they’re more expressive than diego and luther tend to be.  me: so which is your favorite?????  roommate: first instinct says allison, though she probably has the least dynamic or interesting arc so far

are hazel and cha-cha the best because their victims never see them coming?? like. they aren’t really THAT competent.

“I do LOVE the aesthetic of an ice cream truck playing ride of the valkyries” - my roommate is valid

“LOVE the hypersaturated background in this scene. it’s more fun that having it be desaturated.”

five looks so baby in this scene with the handler :(

still unsure where five got that handgun but i’m vibing

hate when she touches his face !! awful!!!

the handler’s little “all of them??” like yeAH ALL OF THEM even though they irritate the living FUCK out of each other. siblings man

ben gets shotgun for the getaway !!! go ben!

“I’m starting to think... given how space and reality seemed to be warping during her playing... that her medication... isn’t for anxiety...” - oh, oh roommate

ah i blocked out the leonard vanya make out as well

“DIDN’T YOU MEET HIM TWO DAYS AGO?” - yeah i feel u roommate

yup there’s helen’s body

“CSI call crime scene investigation - that’s going to start to smell real soon”

pogo: and you understand that the children can never know

me: actually pogo fuck you

and that’s episode 5 everyone thank you and goodnight

episode six

i do love a good flashback to klaus

klaus: sees a shirtless soldier and instantly falls in love

they don’T EVEN QUESTION HIM just “KATZ GET THIS MAN A PAIR OF PANTS” and they go with it?? he just APPEARED and they don’t even care

klaus was really just vibing in the 60s huh

wait this is like 1962 or 63 right

when does s2 take place?? also the 60s right???

didn’t kennedy die in 1963 i feel like what i know about s2 contradicts that date but i could have sworn they said a round trip to 1963??????

luther is SUCH A MOOD in the family briefing.

“aww he’s a bad liar” - roommate

“I realize that [the umbrella] was necessary for the title drop but where the fuck did that come from”

@ the handler please stop touching five,,, but also five has such. non reactions to her touching him. which worries me. like she grabs his shoulder walking alongside him and he doesn’t even look at her

why are there gas masks in the briefcase room...

can you IMAGINE if your boss toted a child into the room and introduced him as the Legendary Time Travelling Assassin that the whole office had a betting pool over who would die that one time and is Definitely approaching 60 not 13... and then called him LEADERSHIP MATERIAL. implying that this child will probably get a promotion before you do?? can you IMAGINE?

“again... two days ago...” roommate about leonard and vanya

vanya really chose literally just the worst time to come back to the academy huh

okay but vanya going off?? valid, but also,, i mean. it IS their dads fault that they don’t have any relationship with vanya?

luther: it’s about the moon  roommate: critical role moon theory

hey like. how did the family get together in the first timeline holy fuck. it’s hard enough to get them together when they Literally Know The World Is Going To End

so remember diego getting grazed with a bullet yeah well he has a sling on now which makes sense!! and yet. when five got grazed by a bullet he SLAPS A BANDAID ON IT. someone please address this.

five is such an asshole coworker i love it

i wonder if dot is a mother. or just a nice coworker. she keeps trying to talk to him and invite him to lunch aww

i wonder if it’s purposeful on the handler’s part to call him “mr. five” instead of “mr. hargreeves” to like... further isolate him from his family? by removing his last name they’re sort of removing his ties to his siblings considering it’s not like they’re related by blood

forgot how much i hate the bathroom scene !! wow !! hate it so much!!! there’s so many violations of social etiquette in such a short scene! it’s so deeply uncomfortable!

luther: stop it pogo! you know everything our dad did

i am remembering once again how much i hate pogo all over again!! reginald literally locked klaus in a mausoleum!! he abused the kids! pogo didn’t even speak up about sending luther to the MOON,,, oh luther :(

he just learned his dad exiled him for no reason he has lots of rights his entire world view was just shattered wow i am like infinitely more sympathetic to luther on the second watch

“I knew allison and luther was a thing. you told me allison and luther was a weird thing. still not a fan.” - my very valid roommate

they could have made the fort so much more sibling-y instead of romantic and it would have been so much better honestly

oh dave :(

“I wonder who her primary care physician is and if she can find out what that medication was...” roommate i wish i knew

“I’m trying to decide if he knew ahead to time to try and get at her specifically or like... i don’t know when he took the figurine I was like ‘doesn’t he own an antique shop is he there to steal antiques from the family home’.” roommate on leonard

forgot the handler gifted five a suit. also don’t like that. don’t like her talk about his body and everything either.

“is it too much to ask to give him two outfits? one he can wear now and one with the new body?” - roommate

honestly with hazel’s talk on budget cuts i’m not surprised he only gets one suit

STOP TOUCHING HIS FACE,,,, HANDLER. STOP TOUCHING HIS FACE

five and his sweet tooth. don’t take the candy five. come on. what did your father TEACH YOU. honestly reggie probably was like “let them get kidnapped it will probably teach them a life lesson”

“there were like... villages that needed rebuilding after disasters. he could have been sending these packages to legit lunar research facilities. legit facilities would have adored to have that information.” 

okay but people KNEW he was on the moon. cha-cha mentioned it. it was in vanya’s book. why were scientists not knocking down reginald’s door demanding the research??? if i was a moon scientist i would have the mansion staked out trying to demand info jesus

“love his eye fluttering in the way of ‘oh shit i got something in my eye i can’t break character scene is still going scene is stILL GOING’“ - hilarious observations from the allison luther fort scene 2.0: grown up version that gets erased

did they just leave the fort up all those years. did no one USE the green house??? did grace lovingly work around it all that time?

oh :(  dave :(

grace is capable of lying and pogo is a shadowy motherfucker

“okay now that they’re actually putting it into the plot i understand why you don’t think he’s trustworthy but you really got on my back about that”

in my defense i just hate him tbh i did not like him when he first showed up and i never particularly liked him tbh

allison: i think you’re the only person who knows who i am and likes me anyway

me, remembering the theory that allison rumored luther to love her: HMMMMMM

okay but i think the luther and allison dance scene is fucking HILARIOUS. absolutely ridiculous. i mean i hate that it’s incest but also the fucking LIGHTS DESCENDING. the RANDOM WARDROBE CHANGE. 

roommate likes the green underskirt thing under allison’s random dance dress

are they just doing this in public???

ugh. the kiss. ugh. erased that from my memory as well

“they clearly want romance in this show but they painted themselves into a corner with the siblings thing” - roommate

five and his fucking STAPLERS isn’t this the second time he’s knocked someone out with a stapler?? the bank robber and now gloria??

five please your siblings were finally doing some decent work on their own issues :/

five is the kind of dramatic as fuck entrances 

“love how he just grabs [allison’s] coffee. kid needs a coffee after all that.” - roommate

five actually does a good job of rallying the siblings though?? they just broke the fuck up in the og timeline

“something tells me that harold jenkins might be leonard”

oh roommate

episode seven

uh oh harold was born

i feel vaguely bad for him

“me the night before a convention” - roommate on harold’s tape and cosplay and everything

okay but how did reginald even KNOW harold jenkins had no powers?? did he? keep tabs on all the forty some kids not just the seven he kept?

but also why the fuck are these people laughing at An Actual Child fuck all of them honestly

“did HE kill hargreeves?? I mean. he’s got motive.” - roommate

harold really said “i think my superpower is actually this hammer motherfucker”

how did he get twelve years?? was he tried as an adult?? was he in juvie? how old WAS he

twelve years ago... they’re 29 soooo seventeen? he did NOT look seventeen? he was NOT seventeen in that flashback what???

roommate theorizes that harold ran off after the murder and committed petty crimes until caught and tried for murder when he was seventeen so was maybe 13 in the flashback

okay so i looked up the timeline and he got out in 2014 or something so he was like 13 in the flashback which makes SO much more sense honestly but also what the FUCK was he doing for five years

“he’s actually laying out all the facts as he knows them and I appreciate that.” -roommate about five briefing the team

five?? the only member of the family with communication skills? it’s? somehow more likely than you think?

“allison’s pants that she’s wearing now are the most perfectly tailored things i’ve ever seen. not even a wrinkle when she’s standing still. do you know how hard that is to do?” again my roommate noticing the things i absolutely do not

five. five. you have a GUT WOUND and also jumped a BUNCH OF TIMES. you are not blinking into the police station and getting the file. you need some SLEEP. and REST. and WOUND CARE FIVE FOR FUCK’S SAKE. you still have a GUNSHOT GRAZE on your upper arm and a SLICE on your wrist from DIGGING OUT A TRACKER. FIVE.

diego wants to be batman SO BAD.

five crossing his arms and Not Uncrossing Them because he’s literally HOLDING HIMSELF TOGETHER.

wow luther is really handling this so much worse in this timeline rip

luther is losing validity points for CHOKING KLAUS i knew this happened but i didn’t remember how awful it was !!! bad and terrible! and luther is very drunk and very sad and very angry. oh. he’s saying he never left the house and never had friends for nothing :(

klaus had the realization that reggie was an asshole YEARS ago and he’s just kind of like “aww. luther :(” 

klaus is trying so hard

“Klaus has had the most heart to hearts with the most siblings honestly.” - roommate

allison at the beginning making her laugh in the office with the EYES, five on the steps of meritech, diego after the vet bar, luther on the couch...

wow cha cha really thought hazel was talking about how meaningful his partnership was with her when he was talking about agNES

five limping up the lawn and staggering up the stairs and clinging to the rails baBY SIT DOWN. YOU ARE BLEEDING.

“inspiring leadership” “one of the greats” what a sibling moment honestly.

five really said “i think i will pass the fuck out now”

five really said “hey i am literally willing to die for this mission because this mission is the safety and lives of my entire family and i love you guys :(”

except he doesn’t because five is decent at information sharing but getting feelings out of him feels like pulling teeth at times smh

is leonard trying to vicariously live his “normal child born on the umbrella academy day discovers they have had powers the WHOLE TIME” dream through vanya??

we yell about how leonard and vanya have known each other for like a week but i mean same for hazel and agnes!! he’s literally asking her to run away with him and she says yes !!!!! agnes is here for the romantic adventure with this man she’s really living her first hot girl summer and living for it

“she’s having her own little rom com! she thinks she’s living in a rom com not a dark sci fi!” - roommate accurate as usual

she just called ben the emotional support ghost and i mean... she ain’t wrong

honestly klaus should have just left luther to his rave, he didn’t get to party in his teens or during his college years or anything

i do appreciate the viking yell of “B R O T H E R” that luther greets klaus with though because that’s exactly how i greet my own siblings whenever i see them

oh klaus :(

oh klaus :(

he’s having war flashbacks, cravings, is in withdrawal, AND experiencing sensory overload while reliving one of the more traumatizing moment of his life

oh klaus :(

five in a bed for the second time of the season which is nice for him. if only the first time wasn’t because he passed out drunk and the second time wasn’t because of a whole shrapnel wound. i am now that captain of the Let Five Sleep brigade holy SHIT like at least they imply that the others sleep five is just feral and ready to go at all times

are the police allowed to just. remove someone’s arm sling? is that permitted? his arm could be fucked up? i mean. it is? he was shot?

“I saw everything my brothers and sister could do ruin their lives” VANYA some REALIZATION up in here,,,, admitting that the umbrella academy wasn’t exactly a desirable place to be is actually some real growth for her and leonard just fucking shuts her down? fuck that man

VANYA SEE THE RED FLAGS FOR WHAT THEY ARE COME ON

oh klaus :(  oh luther :(  oh :(

“love his corset side pants, like benedict from violet evergarden” - on the topic of Klaus’s pants

“I made everyone else so I must have made you” says god except for the fact that the kids just... surprise popped up instead of coming about the natural way. maybe god DIDN’T made them????????

oh klaus :(  prepare for disappointment :(

oh i didn’t notice the photos of the umbrella academy in the barbershop the first time i watched this

so klaus gives an age for the mausoleum... thirteen... do you think that was before or after five left? statistically it’s probably after bc it was only a couple of months after they turned thirteen that five vanished

Klaus’s “we were just kids” breaks my heart every time

if i was one of reggie’s kids i would have just not gone to the funeral. rip to the hargreeves kids but i’m different

he doesn’t even call klaus klaus in death, he still calls klaus number four. fuck that man.

“i was gonna say i’d have been very very surprised if they kept him dead” - roommate on klaus waking up

“Five bucks says he set these guys up to try and get something out of her” - the roommate being very perceptive

cha cha is VERY rude to my girl agnes

honestly why DIDN’T hazel just kill cha cha after her whole speech and threats about killing agnes slowly in front of him???? like he literally watched her try to kill him as well

why wasn’t diego arrested in the original day that wasn’t actually?? he was being considered already. he still left the house, albeit with grace instead of allison. why wasn’t he arrested then???????? 

roommate thinks it’s interesting how committed the show is to their old timey shit. she used a nicer words like anachronisms but the point is: w h y

are these episodes even longer than i remember?? holy SHIT

#tua rewatch #honestly these are half proof to my sister that i am watching tua #she keeps yelling at me about s1 #there can't be that many more episodes right #apparently there are ten episodes in s1 #that's a whole 'nother three hours #jeebus #and then ten more hours for s2 #so LONG

[kayliemusing]

42: top 3s

1: Top 3 ice cream flavors - classic vanilla, birthday cake/birthday batter, bubblegum

2: Top 3 Disney Movies - Mulan, Onward, Soul (but this changes frequently lol)

3: Top 3 vacation destinations - I've never been outside of my home country so I'll say my top 3 DREAM destinations: NYC, Hawaii, a random countryside in either France or the UK

4: Top 3 places to shop - Dynamite, Sephora, Winners/Homesense

5: Top 3 subjects of study/classes to take - English/anything creative writing related, Interior Decorating/Design, Communications?

6: Top 3 make up products - YSL Touche Eclat Foundation, literally any Mac Lipstick but it has to be matte, & Fenty Beauty contour stick

7: Top 3 music artists - Taylor Swift - Of Monsters and Men - The Lumineers

8: Top 3 spices/herbs - Cinnamon - Nutmeg (literally tastes like autumn) - Paprika

9: Top 3 drinks - Diet Coke - Hot Chocolate - Vanilla Bean Frappe

10: Top 3 apps to use - Instagram - Pinterest -iBooks

11: Top 3 months of the year - May, October, December

12: Top 3 clothing items - My black/white turtle neck, high waisted jeans, plaid blazer

13: Top 3 binge perfect tv shows - Bones, Supernatural, Brooklyn Nine Nine

14: Top 3 romantic dates - (I've never been on a date but if I had, it would be this) Evening walk, late night drive, late night coffee date (tbh anything at night feels romantic)

15: Top 3 kinds of flower - Water lilies, cherry blossoms, roses

16: Top 3 christmas movies - A Christmas Carol (2009), Home Alone, The Polar Express

17: Top 3 OTPs - Nesta and Cassian from ACOTAR series by SJM, Manon and Dorian from Throne of Glass series by SJM, Casteel and Poppy from From Blood and Ash series by JLM.

18: Top 3 quotes to describe your life - "I write not to find, but to leave" by Scherezade Siobhan - "I want to be myself again. I want to be six. I want to stop knowing everything I know" by Catherynne M. Valente - "The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get" by Joanna Hoffman.

19: Top 3 characteristics you love about yourself - my kindness bc it's not surface level kindness, but actually something deeply rooted within me - my resilience even tho sometimes it doesn't feel like resilience - my loyalty bc it is a hard as steel kind of loyalty

20: Top 3 kinds of candy - Maltesers, Kit kats, smarties

21: Top 3 ways to exercise/ be active - Walking, dancing, mowing the lawn/shoveling the sidewalk

22: Top 3 spirit animals - wolf, hummingbird, tiger (i googled it bc i didn't know and i was scared it was a joke but)

23: Top 3 petnames - I like 'lovebug', 'love', 'sweetheart'

24: Top 3 books read outside of school - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J Maas but viewers discretion is advised, Crush by Richard Siken

25: Top 3 most used websites - Youtube, Tumblr, Pinterest

26: Top 3 people you last texted - my mom, my bestie megan, and my sister bc they're the only people i text...

27: Top 3 hashtags you use - the only time i use hashtags is if i'm trying to promote some of my writing so I'll usually use writingcommunity, writersonig, poetryonig lol

28: Top 3 instagram accounts you follow - Trista Mateer, Griefmother, obviously taylor swift

29: Top 3 guilty pleasures - buzzfeed quizzes, early 2000s music, romance novels

30: Top 3 summer activities - Going to the zoo, long evening walks, campfires and s'mores

31: Top 3 things to draw/doodle - hearts, flowers, random swirls bc it's the only thing i can doodle...

32: Top 3 aesthetics - cityscape aesthetic, autumn aesthetic, rustic aesthetic

33: Top 3 things you'd buy if you gained three million dollars - a new car, a condo, another cat

34: Top 3 ways to treat yourself - facial, a large bag of maltesers, buying the makeup i really want but have been putting off

35: Top 3 celebrity crushes - Evan Peters, Matthew Daddario, henry cavill

36: Top 3 books from your childhood - Love You Forever by Robert Munsch, The Big Friendly Giant by Roald Dahl, and Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmens

37: Top 3 accents to hear - Australian, super poshy british accent, new zealand accent

38: Top 3 scents - Fresh rain, vanilla, sweet cinnamon pumpkin from bath and body works

39: Top 3 "Friends" quotes - "WE WERE ON A BREAK" -Ross, "Guess things were just going too well for me" -also ross, and "it's so exhausting waiting for death" - phoebe

40: Top 3 cupcake flavors - tbh I haven't tried that many cupcakes so your typical vanilla, chocolate, and Pink Lady Cupcake from Babycakes Cupcakery

41: Top 3 fruits - Pomegranates, Strawberries, Raspberries

42: Top 3 places you've had amazing pizza from - Pizzahut, Dominos, Pizza73

43: Top 3 sports teams to watch - i don't

44: Top 3 crayola colors - uh, i guess red, purple, and pink??

45: Top 3 things you hope to accomplish in college - Certificates/Degrees in Copyediting and Creative Writing, and I think simply just deeper critical thinking skills when it comes to writing and books

46: Top 3 fanfictions you've read - I read more books than fanfics, I've read a couple on tumblr but don't remember the names sorry :/

47: Top 3 people you miss right now - my dad, my best friend bc she's in vancouver, taylor swift bc she's not on tumblr anymore rip

48: Top 3 fears - Failure, Loss, not achieving anything in life/not reaching my full potential

49: Top 3 favorite literary devices - Foreshadowing is always god tier, cliffhangers although evil i love those too, symbolism

50: Top 3 pet peeves - People dragging their shoes on the floor when they walk, when you tell someone your fav hobby/music artist/interest and they immediately go 'oh I hate X!', and people who go 'you're so quiet!!!' but in a way that draws in more attention and/or makes me feel more uncomfortable like i would literally rather die

51: Top 3 physical things you find attractive - Hands, nice hair, defined jawlines

52: Top 3 bad habits - Nailbiting, picking at my blemishes oops, lip biting

53: Top 3 pets you've had/wish to have - Cats bc they complete me, I've always wanted a Samoyed, and I've always wanted a turtle

54: Top 3 types of foreign food - Chicken Chow Mein, deep fried shrimp, japanese chicken wings

55: Top 3 things you want to say to someone in your lifetime - 'I quit', 'I love you', 'you changed my life'

56: Top 3 dog breeds - Samoyed, german shepherds, collies

57: Top 3 cheesy romance movies - You've Got Mail, How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days, 10 Things I Hate About You

58: Top 3 languages you speak/wish to speak - French, Sign, and maybe Japanese?

59: Top 3 series (book, movie, television) - The Cruel Prince series by Holly Black, A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas (but literally only for Cassian and Nesta), From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout

60: Top 3 pizza toppings - Mushrooms, alfredo sauce, pineapple

61: Top 3 youtubers you're subscribed to - Game Grumps, Charlotte Dobre, Megan Batoon

62: Top 3 tattoo / piercing ideas - I want to get a tattoo on my wrist of the last thing my dad ever wrote me, a hummingbird tattoo right next to it, and then a cross on my index finger

63: Top 3 awards you want to win - National Book Awards, Nobel Prize, and maybe even Goodreads Choice Awards lol

64: Top 3 emojis - Laugh/Crying emoji, the please sir emoji that kinda gives off those puss n boots eyes, and the stars emoji

65: Top 3 cars you dream of owning - 1970s Chev Impala, tbh a cute little Hyundai Venue, and maaaaybe the 1964 ferarri 250 gt luso (idk if that name was totally right but i had to do tons of googling to find it. i don't know a lot about cars and i don't really have a top 3 lol)

66: Top 3 authors - Right now I'm really into Sarah J Maas, Sally Thorne, and Holly Black maybe?

67: Top 3 historical figures - Jesus, Anne Frank, Vincent Van Gogh

68: Top 3 baby names - Ryder, Leila, Gracie

69: Top 3 DIYs - Candles, refurnishing old furniture (i.e. my mom and i painted our wooden garbage can), and really just any type of autumn diy

70: Top 3 smoothie combos/flavors - Strawberry/Banana, Mango, Strawberry-Mango

71: Top 3 songs of this month - Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish, Biblical by Calum Scott, and Visiting Hours by Ed Sheeran

72: Top 3 questions of this post you want to be asked - I did them all bc I made it a survey instead of an ask meme ;)

73: Top 3 villains - Regina/The Evil Queen from Once Upon a Time, Cruella De Vil, and Moriarty from Sherlock

74: Top 3 Cities you want to see - Montreal, NYC, Vancouver (honorable mention: LA)

75: Top 3 recipes you want to try - different kind of salad and/or burger bowls, Stuffed bell peppers, and homemade lemon loaf

76: Top 3 dream jobs - Bestselling author, the person who runs a companies social media accounts, youtuber/blogger

77: Top 3 lucky items - tbh don't have one

78: Top 3 traditions you have - Christmas Eve Service and if I don't go to that at least incorporating reading the christmas story on christmas day or eve, idk if this counts as tradition but going to the corn maze every fall, and whenever it's easter/christmas/thanksgiving we always have a big meal w/ family

79: Top 3 things you miss about being a kid - reckless abandon, dreaming about growing up with hopefulness and no dashed hopes, experiencing holidays like halloween and christmas as a kid

80: Top 3 harry potter characters - I've never read or watched Harry Potter rip (ok well i saw the first and second (and maybe third?) movie in the sixth grade I think) but I think I really liked Hermoine, Harry obviously and Dobby

81: Top 3 lies you were told - i don't have 3, but this one has a story but basically when my sister and i were in elementary school my sister got hit by a car and so the insurance thing was that she would recieve 10k when she was 18 and as a child i thought that was unfair so my dad told me that my sister had to split it with me when we were 18 lmao obviously that didn't happen (i think i realized that wasn't true in middle school)

82: Top 3 pictures in your camera roll right now - Pictures of my cat, one of my sister in a hilarious filter, and a picture of my rocking my TS merch

83: Top 3 turn ons - Kindness, defined jawline, easy going

84: Top 3 turn offs - arrogance, unkempt, super loud and obnoxious

85: Top 3 magazines/news papers/ journals to read - I don't read much of those so I'll tell you some sites I love for writing purpose's: there's Wellstoried, justwriterlythings, springhole.net (which is filled with generators if you're stuck and also tons of infomation and advice)

86: Top 3 things you wish you had known earlier - that toad in Mario Party was wearing a mushroom hat and that it is actually not his head, that immaculate means 'clean' before i misused that word like several times over the years, and that the one turn i always take on my way to work where i thought everyone didn't know how to drive was actually bc i didn't have the right of way rip me

87: Top 3 spongebob episodes - the one episode where spongebob and patrick find a ghost ship, that one episode where they form a bikini bottom band and perform it at a football game in a little fish tank, and the one episode where squidward has his first snowball fight

88: Top 3 places to be in the world - I'd love to be in NYC, Montreal, or Hawaii

89: Top 3 things you'd do differently - I would not have applied for RDC, similarly I should have just paid the 500 dollars to the one certificate program I wanted to do instead of overthinking it, and I wish I wouldn't have ended a friendship the way I did

90: Top 3 TV shows from your childhood - Spongebob Squarepants, That's So Raven, and Hannah Montana

91: Top 3 meals you love - Turkey Burgers, Chilli, and Instant Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup

92: Top 3 kinds of tea - i don't drink tea

93: Top 3 embarrassing moments - one time in sixth grade I tripped and fell right on my face in front of my crush, this other time like a couple years ago i opened the door to my car and only realized much too late while i was staring at this random family that it was not my car, and when i went to the gas station to get gas and couldn't get my gas lid on my car opened and this guy had to help me which was already embarrassing enough but then the gas pump wouldn't work so i had to go inside to pay just to realize i forgot my wallet and had to shamefully walk back to my car and then run back inside the convenience store and then pay and then walk back to my car and finally fill my tank.

94: Top 3 holidays to celebrate - Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving

95: Top 3 things to do in the rain - have an existential crisis, pretend you're in a music video, walk through puddles like you're six again

96: Top 3 things to do in the snow - Sledding, Build a snowman, shovel it even tho you don't want to

97: Top 3 items you can't leave the house w/o - phone, keys, wallet

98: Top 3 movies you'd like to see - Jurassic World 3, Hotel Transylvania: Transformania bc i'm a child, and the animation of the addams family

99: Top 3 art mediums - Writing fiction/poetry, painting, music

100: Top 3 museums you've been to - Royal Tyrell Museum, Canadian History one in edmonton lol, and heritage park in calgary

101: Top 3 school memories - Middle school dances when the popular kids would grind to the song "Low" which was always an interesting experience, in the twelfth grade at winter formal when we all shouted "SHUT UP AND DANCE!" at the same time when they played Shut Up and Dance, and the day i left

102: Top 3 things you don't/Won't miss - School, my sisters ex, 2016 bc she was a rough year yikes

103: Top 3 pick up lines - "My name is Will. God's Will.", "I'd like to take you to the movies but they don't like you bring your own snacks", "are you from tennessee bc you're the only 10 i see"

104: Top 3 sports to watch - none of them

105: Top 3 taylor swift songs - all too well - exile - coney island

#survey

[crimsonhcadache]

      - ̗̀ NOW INTRODUCING:  IVES ❝ IVY ❞ SERRANO !

( DANNA PAOLA, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER, SCORPIO, 24 ) I just spotted IVES “IVY” SERRANO at the beach today. Don’t you know them? They live down by the TOWERS and usually hang out with the RICH KIDS & MUSICIANS cliques. From what I’ve heard, they can be DECEITFUL, but they’re also ADAPTIVE. I always think of them when i hear LAST LAUGH - FLETCHER and tend to associate them with STRAWBERRY CHAMPAGNE, A FRESH SET OF STILETTO NAILS, AND RED LINGERIE. ( tay, she/her, 22, est )

full name: natalie rose serrano ives serrano nicknames: ivy, poison ivy faceclaim: danna paola voiceclaim: lana del rey birthday: november 1st, 1996  zodiac: scorpio sun, aries moon, gemini rising sexuality: bisexual occupation: influencer, instagram model, musician, scammer / thief positive traits: effervescent, bold, creative, charismatic, coquettish, intuitive, ambitious, alluring, adventurous, perceptive  negative traits: cantankerous, deceitful, envious, manipulative, dramatic, stubborn, narcissistic, materialistic, reckless, quick-tempered character inspos: maddy perez euphoria, jackie burkhart that 70’s show, blair waldorf gossip girl, margo hanson the magicians, every lana del rey song ever, lucrecia montesinos and cayetana pando elite, rosa diaz brooklyn nine nine, the entire rose family schitts creek, jen harding dead to me

- ̗̀♡ — › background !

the main thing u need to know about ivy is that she is lying ! always !! her real name isn’t even actually ivy smh

she was born NATALIE ROSE SERRANO, to two working class parents in new york city. she knew from a young age that she was just supposed to be rich and famous, and that something had gotten mixed up somewhere and she was put in the wrong life.

in high school she got a scholarship to a fancy private catholic school, and that’s where she started to hone her craft of manipulating rich people. she would befriend all of the richest bitches at school and take advantage of everything that came along with it: vacations to far away places, stays in the family’s cabins and lake houses, even designer clothes that her friends no longer wanted and would gift to her, thinking it was their idea all along

as she grew up and got better at getting what she wanted out of people, her entitled attitude only got worse, driving a wedge between her and her parents, who kept waiting for her to develop a work ethic and kept being disappointed. a few months after she graduated high school, on her 18th birthday, her parents kicked her out of the house and cut her off, hoping that it would force her to grow up and take on any responsibility

but that plan backfired for them, her parents underestimating how truly stubborn natalie was. the day after her 18th, she wandered into a local strip club and got a job, figuring it’d be the easiest and quickest way to get some cash, and she took to it naturally and actually really enjoyed stripping

she started to embody an entirely new persona that she had created for herself, dancing under the name POISON IVY and telling everyone she was a trust fund baby that had been cut off from her rich parents, needing to dance to supplement her income, and her lies just continued to spiral out of control until she almost started to believe it herself. she had never told anyone at the club her real name, not even the other strippers, just going by “ivy” for a while.

she had learned to weaponize the power she had over people by being pretty and charming, using her looks for absolute evil and doing whatever it took to get money—from straight up pickpocketing, to making men buy her expensive gifts, to blackmailing, to sugar babying, to getting patrons wasted and manipulating them into tipping her absurd amounts… she did it all, very quickly earning enough to live the life she had always dreamed of, that she felt she deserved for whatever twisted reason.

she started posting on instagram with the name poison ivy generally just flaunting her carefree, extravagant life, often exaggerating or down right lying just to really dazzle her quickly growing audience

as she started to go down the influencer route, she realized she needed to do something to hide the skeletons in her closet ( the fact that she didn’t actually come from money and was making far more than was normal for even the best of dancers, a couple of small possession / shoplifting charges, and just generally anything that could lead people to her real identity ) so she started to tell people her name was ives, fully taking on the new identity. she even went so far as to make some of the people that had been closest to her sign NDAs about her real identity, making sure that no one could sell info about her should her plan of being famous work out

she also moved out to california to run away from everyone in the city that was starting to catch on to what she was doing, basically doing all the same shit but now in a New Place.. this was about 3-4 years ago, so she’s been in sunhollow for a while now doing the whole influencer thing !!

and it did work out !! at first she was definitely buying followers/likes to boost her likelihood of brand sponsorships, but eventually she faked it until she made it and actually attained influencer status. she then used her newfound internet fame ( and some classic blackmailing ) to get herself a record deal 

she also started sleeping around with pretty much any famous person she could, having very public relationships and breakups and scandals to keep her name in the press, which ultimately lead to more exposure/people following her, if only to see what she did next, which lead to even more sponsorships

eventually she stopped dancing and just focused on her influencing and more recently ( like... less than 6 months ago recently ) her music career. but she never stopped sugar babying and scamming rich stupid men, still very much using that as a means to keep up her lifestyle. she’s also done a few modeling things, but it’s mostly just like catalog work or being the face of a trendy campaign bc she’s way too short for the runway

she also recently made an only fans account bc she was bored one night and was mostly planning on posting once as a joke but then she made a bunch of money / got a bunch of subscribers and was like oh word ? i can do that ! so she will post on there from time to time but she’s not like… super serious about it ya know ? also her music label is big mad at her for it bc they’re like bUt yOuR rEpUtAtIoN and she’s like yeah.. but my bank account ? also it’s no secret she used to be a stripper so she rly just.. doesn’t give a fuck ! 

so basically she’s jus here making money being pretty and pulling a long ass scam on… everyone

- ̗̀♡ — › personality / headcannons !

she’s a real two faced bitch… she has perfected the art of becoming whoever she thinks other people want her to be, quickly adapting her personality to get whatever she wants

she’s usually pretty friendly actually, really charming and outgoing and just trying to have a good time

she has a pretty short temper tho and holds grudges like you wouldn’t believe, so once you’re on her bad side… good luck lol she is so ruthless

she’s like… deeply, deeply selfish and will always put herself first, but she’s so manipulative that she can make people do things that they think are their idea, but it’s really just something she planted in their head so it’s not always obvious

also very spoiled and will throw a mf fit if she doesn’t get her way or u say no to her

always going out !! always doing the most !! she’s the type to show up randomly at ur door at 8pm on a tuesday with a bottle of tequila and make u party with her whether u like it or not

she’s a lot smarter than she lets on sometimes, like she knows people expect her to be stupid and ditzy and shallow and she’ll let them underestimate her when it’s beneficial

always looks perfectly put together— her nails are always meticulously manicured, usually w stiletto shaped acrylics, and you’ll literally never see her outside her house without makeup and a perfectly composed outfit. it’s also a rare occasion that she’s not wearing at least six inch heels, trying to make up for bein so mf short ( she’s 5’3 )

she talks A Lot but is really good at saying a lot of words without actually saying anything, like you can be best friends with her for months and then just be like “i don’t actually know a single thing about her”

always up to no good and sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong !! she’s always got some sort of scheme going or getting in to some kind of drama

v much a hoe and v much proud of it, will sleep w just about anyone especially if she can get something out of it

also a serial dater !! she’s always hoping in and out of relationships and being rumored to be with a dozen people at once

most definitely calls paparazzi on herself, especially when she’s around other famous ppl but will never admit it

compulsive liar, she will literally lie about the dumbest things like she doesn’t even need a reason to lie she jus.. does

she has a luxury two bedroom apartment that she lives alone in ( one room is kinda a guest room but also mostly just a giant closet ) in the towers and the gag is she doesn’t even know how much her rent is bc one of her random sugar daddies pays her rent.. her power tbh 

- ̗̀♡ — › wanted connections !

hookups / flings / one night stands / fwbs all that shit !!

exes on bad terms … gimme drama pls

enemies / ppl she’s stolen from maybe… she would definitely deny it and say they’re jus jealous of her or smth stupid but that could make the feud worse

party pals !! like i said she goes out a lot and always somehow manages to make new friends and drag them into her shenanigans

on again / off again exes… i want the Angst so bad..

shallow friendships / influencer friends like they play it up a lot for insta bc they both have a pretty big following but they dont really... like each other that much ?? like they definitely seem to be a lot closer than they really are

pr relationships this could be past or present !! in the same vein as the last one except they pretend to date ( or maybe just act like they’re gonna date but never actually do ?? like to fuel rumors ) 

unlikely friends !! like ppl who are nice and sweet and Pure, she could use a lil good energy in her life

situationship / flirtationship like they’re super flirty and maybe hook up a couple times but everyone assumes they’re dating or like gonna date but they’re jus vibing. bonus points if one or both of them actually has feelings but can’t tell if they’re just friends / casually hooking up or if it could turn into something more.. im a slut for some mutual pining !!

neighbors … mb they hate her for always being loud n throwing mini parties OR maybe they join in

mean girl rivalries !!

someone she’s taking advantage of / stealing from without them knowing .. oof

partner in crime !!!

one sided crushes or like someone she’s stringing along smh

sugar daddies mb 😇

someone to put her in her mf place JDKDKD like they call her out on her bs and are like “i see what ur doing bitch stay away from my friends” type thing

idk anything really !! gimme all the messy plots ok :~)

#hqclique.intro #this is so long i jus have so much to say abt my favorite evil demon <3 #now to do mickeys .. which requires sm more rewriting .... pray for me #♡ — 𝐢𝐯𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐨 › 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 .

[mermadrid96]

At 23 I had every reason to feel invincible. I walked out of post secondary already two years in my career field and paid off my debt. I had to keep moving. Get the apartment alone and continue on what I wanted to be my long journey of being someone worth remembering.

I don’t have any extreme addiction issues. Other than pot..that doesn’t count right? It probably does.

I just hold a deep sadness and obsession with suicidal ideation. The first time I tried to kill myself I was nine. I remember resisting the urge to jump in front of the subway long before that, probably 3 or 4 standing with my grandma going to church.

Like most, mental illness runs on both sides of my family. It’s true that you feel a sense of ease about letting yourself be ill when it’s already hereditary.

Distraction is the best way to manage most of my issues. Friends, movies, family. Working. I try to exercise and I’m sure doing that would help a lot more, but my main passion is sleep. Sleep is the closest to death us cowards of suicide can get. I dream a lot more now that I’ve been able to shake the constant weed smoking. I barely remember them and their usually shitty modifications of what’s happening in my world. But I’d take it over exhausted rest anyway.

When I got to Kingston in sept 2019 I was already sceptical. But it was easy to distract that away, new school new job new city to explore and a way to reinvent the version of myself I spent 23 years hating. Obviously, for someone so naturally fucking lazy and obsessed with the idea of being a tragedy headline, it didn’t work out. I went out and met people as usually encouraged by my friends back home. I got a job because I could not come off a lazy (I lasted one whole training shift before my sister let take the cop out I was giving myself) and I did my homework.

I’m not sure why I was so insistent on proving I could do this, when I already knew I couldn’t. Somehow, between touring the school and moving in six months later, I told myself every step of the way it was too late to look back. You’d be letting everyone down when you’ve finally earned a decent family title back.

It’s funny that sitting here at 25, almost finished with the youth therapy I transitioned to, I feel the same type of way.

I’ve gotten every therapist I’ve met with to beam with pride during sessions, something that is obviously more than necessary for me, I’ve been given the “stable label” by each psychiatrist, graduated each group therapy, and regained the family perspective of “she’s doing great now, actually.”

Falling back into needing more help than I did before isn’t an option. Letting small things like a credit card compromise, the death of a family pet or being in the middle of a domestic wasn’t an excuse to let your mental state become as fragile as it was.

The skills are on the papers, the binder is Color coded and you have the self help numbers now. You’re cured and everyone can get onboard with that. No one wants to get onboard with the heartache of watching a family member be shitty again. Or A friend that barely answers and is more selfish than the completely selfless person they chose to stay friends with through a hard time.

I do find a lot of what I’ve done will save me. But mostly, I know killing myself would save me. So where has any of this gotten me? Just in more debt than I ever was at the beginning, and three years behind my timeline, might as well just give in and let myself come to peace.

I’ve read more stories about established people who have gone through the same thoughts-with much worse circumstances- and their endings, while positive, aren’t what I see as happy. I mean- they didn’t kill themselves? And their not on an island alone with zero responsibilities or people to disappoint- so who cares? None these articles have left me satisfied. Just with a sense of reality; life isn’t great. And if you can’t handle your own shit well; you’ll probably have to go through it sober too.

A lot of my false worlds pictures me back in high school- being able to reinvent everything- getting more into the arts and then a college program that would actually make me money and was nothing close to the Hunan services sector; where all bleeding hearts come to die poor and with back problems. Enjoying things truly instead of not realizing 16 would of been the best opportunity I had to off myself. Immortalized before even living- a lazy cowards dream.

I keep hearing how much of my life o have left to figure things out, bc you know, 20s. But that’ll end in 5 years and then I’ll be asking what I’ve done to get where I want. Well I’ve napped and ignored a budget. Contemplated a lot and taken chances I didn’t want and missed ones that might of worked. Basically, always considering what if to the point where it’s wasted.

I feel full when I’m with my family, when I’m able to laugh with friends and when I’m able to think through these harder days. And, as any caring professional would say- when I’m enjoying my job. There is some truth to this being a profession and a passion. I’m proud of what I’ve done, but I can tell you I’d be just as proud of taking more vacations and a new front car bumper.

I also feel full when I can just cry uninterrupted, when I’ve accepted my plans for suicide and can let go of all conscious responsibility, when I’ve hurt myself, and whenever I don’t need to set an alarm to wake up.

#mentally unstable #mental illness #text post #tumblr