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nailgunstigmata · 4 months

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i couldnt fall asleep and spent the last few hours watching tiktoks of people pretending to be wolves so i probably cant articulate this well rn but i think theres something deeply sad about how much of not just fandom but life in general is done with ironic detachment nowadays. a kind of plausible deniability of feeling anything at all. and i catch myself doing this too!! its just a lot easier to not be vulnerable and earnest online. baring ur soul in front of anyone is terrifying because ur always giving them the opportunity to hurt u when u do it

like even with this post a part of my brain is going ok its not that deep omg but like. maybe it is that deep. maybe the things we do and say and the way we navigate the world matters even in an online space about a sitcom. maybe everything can have meaning and we should be careful of what we are saying and listen to other people and try to be nice to each other because theres already plenty of cruelty in the world

and again i have the internet socialised part of my brain screaming at me that this is cringe and nobody cares but again thats stupid. like thats stupid. nobody is being held at gunpoint to read my dumb rambles and if people mock my words thats their personal failure and not mine. u just have to kinda not listen and be earnest anyways and be comforted by the fact that this mindset of self denial isnt healthy for anyone. u cant be detached and happy those two things are mutually exclusive and irony is a thing that can genuinely poison you. like im speaking from experience i literally have the same kind of brainrot and i think that most people have it, especially gen z since we grew up on the internet and started curating the way people perceive us online way too soon. like yeah theres a point where u only know the self that exists to be perceived and that sucks i think.

mocking others vulnerability is fun and safe but it cant make you happy. the only thing that can is being genuine and open and vulnerable. its scary but its the only way. what im trying to say is that the live laugh love girlies were kinda onto something (minus the christian fundamentalism) and we are gradually spiraling into a world in which nothing is real and everything is a commodity and the only way to save ur soul is to be genuine and earnest with people u love and with the world in general. lets cling to our humanity as capitalism alienates us and keeps us trapped in a perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction so we can consume and be consumed forever and ever while giving just enough to keep the engine pumping. im not saying that actively trying to be earnest is the antidote for capitalism but i do think it helps salvage our humanity. and i do think its the only way to be happy

#like yeah idk ill always be a person that feels things deeply and gets emotional about dumb things #and ive learned to grow a hard shell over my feelings that im still trying to whittle down #and even now its like. why am i saying over dumb things? why am i doing that to myself #theres no such thing as being emotional over a dumb thing because being emotional is never stupid. its good and important #this isnt sunny fandom specific just something ive noticed online #idk. and even in person. tho its worse online ofc because #further detachment via screen etc #i should sleep

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hailsatanacab · 1 year

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@the-witchhunter - this is incredibly disturbing, i love it. fair warning, i took it more in the direction of that oglaf comic (nsfw) where Vlad fully doesn't realise that this is a love shrine, this is a completely normal thing that you do for your arch enemy!

———

“Daniel! I can explain!”

“Oh… my… God...”

“Daniel, really, it’s not what it looks like!”

“Really?” Danny breathes, shocked and honestly kind of fighting down the urge to vomit. The thermos slips from his fingers and clatters to the ground, the sound echoing far too loudly in the enclosed space. “Because it looks like you have a shrine dedicated to my dad in your closet.”

“No, that’s not—it’s more complicated than that, Daniel. You wouldn’t understand.”

“I don’t think I want to understand.”

“Your father is a ridiculous man, Daniel. I hate his stupid face so much. Look at him!”

Vlad turns back to the actual shrine, with actual candles and actual flowers and actual photos of his dad with… Holy crap, did Vlad cut out Mom in each of the photos? What the fuck?

Wait… Look, Danny tries not to look too closely at the weird things Vlad has hidden around his mansion dedicated to his mom, but he’s fairly sure that the pictures of her he’s cut out (in heart shapes—yeah, Danny’s definitely going to barf) are the ones Vlad’s put in his other weirdo closet shrine that Danny also wishes he’d never seen.

“Why don’t you just have one shrine? Why have—no, you know what, I don’t want to know. I think I’m just gonna leave.”

Yeah, that sounds like the best option. Danny takes a cautious step back, very ready to get back home, bleach his eyeballs and maybe never look at his mom and dad ever again. Or, at least, not until he has successfully blocked this from his mind forever.

He only gets one foot out the door when Vlad lashes out and grabs him. The day just keeps getting better and better, really, doesn’t it? Even as he twists and turns, he can’t get out of Vlad’s ironclad grip and he’s pulled even farther into the closet.

Panic rises in his throat as Vlad shuts the door—what the fuck is happening? He doesn’t want to be dragged into Vlad’s creepy shrine to his dad, what the fuck? What the fuck!

“I loathe your father, Daniel, I hate him with the very core of my being. Look at him!”

There’s no goddamn way in hell Danny is looking at any of the pictures, no thank you. He squeezes his eyes shut and wishes he were somewhere, anywhere else, when Vlad jerks his arm forward so he comes nose-to-nose with the largest framed portrait of his dad in the very centre of the table, smiling with his doctorate and a very unfortunate 80s mullet. Dear God, no.

“I hate his smug face! I hate his stupid fashion sense, you have no idea how much I detest that orange jumpsuit of his, how much I want to claw it off him and tear it to shreds! If I have to listen to him say another boneheaded, idiotic, ridiculous thing, I will—I’ll rip his throat out with my teeth! You don't know how long I spend here looking at him, imaging all the ways I'll have him grovelling at my feet. One day, Daniel, I'll have him one day...”

———

The sun was going down when Danny finally managed to escape and find solace in Sam and Tucker. He's not going home. Not yet.

“Danny, are you okay? We were so worried, we couldn’t get hold of you for hours! Where were you?”

“Sam, Tuck… Vlad, he…”

“Holy shit, Danny, you’re shaking, are you alright? What happened, what did he do?”

“I think… I think he wants to fuck my dad.”

#danny phantom #vlad masters #jack fenton #phan phic #hope you enjoy!! this was so fun i can totally see it happening haha #also i spent a solid three hours going through the oglaf archive to find those two comics so like... double procrastination #thanks!#does vlad want to fuck jack or is he just incredibly unhinged?#trick question it's both #this is the most harrowing torture vlad has ever put danny through btw #locking him in the weird shrine closet and forcing him to listen to everything he wants to do with his dad #lbr tho if vlad ever did get to fuck jack OR maddie it would ruin him #like he wouldn't know what to do with himself after that there's no coming back #he'd be a shell of a human being #ANYWAY hope you enjoyed it!! thank you for the prompt!!#my writing #cab writes

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puhpandas · 8 months

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Stuck in the Loop

(2,764 words)

(Gregory convinces Evan to go on the biggest, scariest roller coaster in Hurricane. It goes just about how'd you expect.)

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"With sprinkles on top?"

"No!" Evan insists.

"Oh, come on!" Gregory deflates, running in front of Evan when he tries to get away from Gregory and getting in his face. "Go on the Red Death with me!"

Evan rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "No, Gregory. It's literally called the Red Death! Theres absolutely nothing you could do to make me get on that death trap!"

Not only does the name do nothing to make Evan want to get on it, but it's the scariest looking coaster in the park. Evan doesnt like coasters, or even rides in general, but when Gregory had heard about the complete lack of rides Evan had gotten on an at amusement park, he hadn't stopped bugging him about it.

But Vanessa is off somewhere with Freddy, probably getting snacks, and Evan is left to Gregory's pestering alone.

"But doesnt the name sound cool?" Gregory asks, grinning. "They say a kid who got on it got his brain turned to mush because it went so fast and that's why they called it the Red Death."

Evan quirks a brow, finally stopping in his tracks so Gregory doesn't have to chase him anymore. "Wh-- what does that even have to do with the name though?"

"Um, because it was red and bloody and the kid died?" Gregory says like its obvious, shrugging at him.

"And that's what's supposed to make me want to get on it?"

Gregory sweatdrops, looking to the side. "Uh, well--"

"No thanks." Evan says, briskly walking past Gregory and gripping his cotton candy. "I dont really want to die on a roller coaster today. Much less to a head injury."

"Oh, come on!" Gregory whines, chasing behind Evan and gripping his bag. He has to yell over the sound of a coaster when Evan's walking caused them to get too close to it. "It'll be fun! I promise!"

"Not for me!" Evan yells. "I hate roller coasters!"

And its true. Last time Evan had gotten on a roller coaster, it had been a few years back, and it was because his parents hadn't cared enough to sit with him while Michael got on one of the big, scary coasters, with loopety loops and straight vertical drops, but he couldnt be left alone. So when he was forced to get on the coaster with Michael, he had thrown up all over his older brother.

That wasnt a fun day for Evan.

"I'm plenty content just looking at the sights and pretty lights." Evan says. "Better than getting a headache all day."

"Okay, look." Gregory starts, holding out his hands, and Evan knows this means hes going to offer a deal that isnt really fair enough to be considered a deal. "How about this."

Evan sighs. "Oh, boy."

"Hear me out!" Gregory insists with placating hands. "You go on the Red Death with me," Gregory begins, pointing at Evan, and then himself. "and I wont bug you about a ride again all day."

To Evan's surprise, Gregory's proposal actually gets his attention. "Really?" He asks with wide eyes.

Gregory grins. "Yep!" he says. "This one coaster, and I wont even mention the Ferris Wheel."

That causes Evan to perk up. The Ferris Wheel is the bane of his existence. Not since he'd gotten on one as a younger kid and been stuck at the top for what felt like hours, scared out of his mind of the heights with his Father of all people. Michael would tease him, but his Father had barely a drop of humor in his body, and everything he'd said about Evan's fear was cold, harsh, and brutal.

Now Evan likes the blinking and flashing neon lights, that are always present on the Ferris Wheel, and always spottable from anywhere in the park. Especially when it gets dark and they shine all pretty like. But he's only been able to enjoy those from the ground, never on a high enough coaster with his eyes open and not squeezed shut with fear of plummeting down a two hundred foot drop, so it's not enough to stave off his hatred for the ride.

"Not once? Wont try to force me on it?" Evan ventures.

Gregory almost looks offended. "I would never force you on a ride. What do you take me for, a monster?" He furrows his brows, then holds out his hand to shake. "No mention of the wheel, or any other rides you dont want, and I'll buy you a funnel cake."

Evan's eyes sparkle, and he grasps Gregory's hand and shakes it at the promise of a funnel cake. "Deal."

Gregory grins almost as bright as the flashing lights at the prize games, and Evan doesnt actually realize what he agreed to until they're standing in line, and he can see just how far the Red Death travels high into the sky.

Evan feels queasy as the line moves forward, and the sight of the straight down vertical drop and loopity loops vanish from sight after entering the boarding area. "Oh, no..."

Gregory just claps him on the shoulder, and smiles. "Exciting, huh?"

Evan shakes his head and trembles as he watches a group in front of them be sent off on the coaster. "If you call feeling like you're gonna throw up exciting."

"Itll be fun." Gregory insists, but then meets Evan's eyes and gets serious, voice hushed over the excited chatter of the guests they share the line with. "Hey, you get on this coaster with me and dont like it, I wont ask you to get on another one, okay?"

Evan furrows his brows. "I thought that was already the deal."

"I mean it, though. Seriously." Gregory pushes, smiling. "I want this to be fun. And if it isnt, then I won't suggest doing something you didnt like again."

Evan just stares, and definitely doesnt tear up a bit when Gregory is nothing but sincere. "I-- Um-- Alright." Evan stutters, wiping at his eyes. "I'll try it, okay? I'm just... not that into feeling scared for fun. I already feel that way on my own enough."

"I get it." Gregory tells him, and holds him in a side hug when it's their turn to step up to the weird cart sculpted like a dragon. "Oh! Looks like we're next!"

Evan feels any sense of peace drain out of his body, replaced with anxiety now that its actually happening. "Oh, um-- Well, I--"

Gregory just steers him to a seat near the middle, and hands their bags to the attendant. "Nope. Too late. It's already happening." Gregory says good naturedly.

"Oh my god." Evan chokes out when hes strapped in, tight, secure, and pressed up against Gregory's shoulder. "Oh my god."

"It hasn't even started yet." Gregory laughs. And as if on queue, the ride pops and lurches, and Evan is only half aware of the embarrassment that colors his cheeks when he shrieks.

"Oh my god!" Evan says more forcefully this time, when the attendant says something Evan wasnt listening to, and the ride starts moving. "Gregory!"

Gregory just cackles when Evan is already pushing himself into the seat of the coaster before it's even gotten going. "Red Death! Red Death! Red Death!"

Gregory's chanting is joined in by others on the coaster, and Evan shakes his head when Gregory looks at him expectantly, a grin on his face.

"Look, you can see Vanessa from here!" Gregory says, looking over the edge of his side and waving.

It's only now that Evan un-fuses himself with the seat, and leans forwards to catch sight of Vanessa and wave, too.

But he'd chosen the exact same time that the coaster begins the drop.

The coaster lurches, and Evan only has enough time to look forward before Gregory is raising his hands in the air, and Evan is left grappling for purchase when the coaster leans forward, and begins to drop.

The nearest solid object turns out to be Gregory's arm, and Evan's stomach does flips when hes thrown downwards, down a completely vertical drop.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!" Evan shrieks, barely heard over the wind whipping around his ears and through his hair. Evan feels his heart jump into his throat, and his gut into his ribcage when their cart sails towards the ground. Evan can barely see what's going on around him, too busy trying to hide his face in the event that it may teleport him off and deliver him straight to solid ground.

Through Evan's own screaming, he can hear Gregory cackling and whopping, and when he finally peels his eyes open, Gregory has one arm in the air, the other being clutched by Evan, and Gregory turns to him.

"Isnt this fuuun!!" Gregory screams through the noise of other guests shrieking, and the coaster rattling along the rails.

"I--" Evan goes to speak, but the coaster lurching again throws him forward, and he shrieks again, grabbing Gregory's arm with his other and wrapping his ankles around Gregory's calf. "I'm gonna die!"

Gregory screams with laughter at that, and he let's Evan cling to him like hes the only thing standing in between Evan and death.

Evan thinks that this is it, his soul has left his body and is heading to heaven when the coaster flips them upside down.

Gregory whoops with joy, but he grips Evan a little tighter. "This is the best part!"

Evan begs to differ, but he can't say so because hes too busy screaming his voice out.

Evan squeezes his eyes shut when he can see the sky beneath him and the ground above him, and he feels nausea crawl up his throat when the coaster lurches, and knocks him and Gregory against the protective railing.

He and Gregory Oomf! when they slam against the solid object, and Gregory makes an upset noise when the coaster slows down.

To Evan's horror, the coaster squeals against the rails, and slows to a stop.

Gregory doesnt say a word. The only sounds are other guests conversing in disappointment and the coaster popping and letting out steam.

Evan gapes as the coaster stills completely, and leaves him and Gregory hanging upside down, on the highest point of the coaster, stranded.

Evan holds his breath, completely frozen in shock, and Gregory gapes as well.

"Um." Is all Gregory can say. "Um. I think. I think we're um."

"Stuck? Stranded? Trapped?" Evan finishes for him.

Gregory scratches behind his head, hair hanging above his head. "Yeah. That."

"What's going on?" Evan can hear some others murmer. "Are they gonna fix it? When are they coming to get us?"

"How long are we gonna be stuck here for?" Evan asks Gregory, trembling when he can feel himself hanging off of the seat and his iron grip on Gregory's arm and the protective railing.

"...I don't know." Gregory says after a moment, sounding dejected.

Evan sighs out shakily, not daring to look above him, lest he see exactly how high up he actually is. "Oh boy."

Gregory turns to him, cheek pressed up against his shoulder. "Evan, I'm-- I'm so sorry--"

"Its okay." Evan cuts him off, and ignores the brewing anger inside of him, because this is exactly why he doesnt like roller coasters, and he'd told Gregory so. He sighs, and tries to be kind for his friend, who doesn't deserve any malice. "Its okay, Gregory."

"No, its not." Gregory insists, swinging forward to try to get in Evan's line of sight better, and Evan tries to ignore the bolt of fear shooting through his stomach when Gregory is displaced for a moment. "Its not okay, Evan. You said you didnt want to get on, and that you hated roller coasters, and I still forced you to get on one."

Evan squeezes his eyes shut, mouth dry. "I said that its okay, Gregory."

"I just wanted you to actually have a chance of having fun at an amusement park." Gregory continues, and when Evan opens his eyes at the emotion lacing his friends voice, he can see Gregory's upset face. "You've only ever been with your dumb family, and they suck too bad to let you be comfortable at a place like this."

Evan shuts his mouth, staring at Gregory with misty eyes when he keeps going.

"Every time you've gotten on a ride, you've always had Michael making you as scared as possible, and your Father ridicules you and makes you feel terrible." Gregory's voice cracks, and to Evans horror, he can see a twist in Gregory's lip, and his friend looks at the ground, er, well, the sky.

"I just wanted to give you a good experience. I just wanted you to have the opportunity to decide what you do and don't like, without your family breathing down your neck about it."

Evan's eyes swim with tears, and Gregory laughs humorlessly, neck twisting around and face scrunched up when the setting sun gets in his eyes. "Look where that got us."

"No." Evan mutters, voice thick. "This isnt your fault, Gregory. It's bad luck, sure, but..." He trails off. "I'm not angry at you. I could never. I've already had more fun with you than I ever did with my family. Please, just..." He wipes a tear away with his sweater. "Dont feel bad. You did nothing wrong."

Gregory smiles softly, but still shifts in discomfort. "...Thanks. But were still hanging upside down on the highest coaster in the park with no clear sign of rescue any time soon."

Evan nods at that, because its true. "Freddy's probably freaking out." Evan points out.

A laugh bursts out of Gregory, and he twists his head, as if he could see Freddys malfunctioning head from all the way up here. "Ness probably is too. I wouldnt be suprised if shes giving the employees a piece of her mind right now."

A laugh rips itself out of Evan, too, real and genuine, and his cheeks hurt from how much hes smiling (probably from how much he screamed, too), despite the situation they're in.

Eventually, of course, Evan gets a headache, and all Gregory can do is try to distract Evan from it while the employees take their sweet time rescuing them.

The sun, at some point, had begun to set, and right as Evan has resulted to resting his eyes all while trying to ignore the pounding in his head from the blood rush, Gregory slaps his arm repeatedly.

"Hey, Evan. Check this out." Gregory says, soft in awareness of Evans headache. Evan peels his eyes open, squinting at the bright light, but looks to where Gregory is pointing.

Evan's eyes open fully when he sees the sight in front of him.

Just over Gregory's shoulder, the sun has set over the park, casting a dark shadow across the attractions, but the sky itself is a beautiful painting of pinks, purples, and yellows, the sun at the center of it all.

The lights of the park glow and flash, the neon lights accentuated in the dark. From where Evan's sitting, he can see kids trailing after their parents as the guests file out of the park, some skipping and jumping, some holding giant prizes, and some asleep on their parents backs.

But the Ferris Wheel is what really grabs his attention. The lights stand out and glow against everything else like it's a beacon, and they flash in patterns and colors that captivate him from the beauty. Evan is able to see it in all its glory from his spot on top of the coaster.

Not to mention the unusual circumstances of being able to see this view upside down.

Evan gapes at the sight of it all, not uttering a word as he just absorbs it. Gregory is quiet as well.

Its peaceful. Just watching the sun set. Watching the lights glow. Watching the result of families heading home after a long day of fun, filled with love.

"You were right about preferring the sights." Gregory mutters after a while, some of the final remnants of the sun peeking through his hair and forming a halo around him. "This is awesome."

For some reason, Evan splutters a laugh at that, and it only intensifies when Gregory grins at him.

Maybe they are stranded on the scariest coaster in the state, thousands of feet off the ground and hanging upside down with no indication of a rescue coming soon, but it isnt so bad when Evan has Gregory.

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