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tgcg · 4 months

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ill break your shit adam

warning for adult lang

fuck you adam sandler

youre lucky karkat likes you

stupid fuck sees an amnesiac girl

and asks her can i marry you

that lady got issues mentally

you still down to do shit anally

deplorable zit on the ass of romanza

karkat told me to put that shit in this stanza

do raps even count as having stanzas

slam poetry tyke at preschool im no manza

youd probably jack it to a log with holes if they were wet ones

sitting on that stupid dock with her papa cracking cold ones

piece of shit id push you off that dock and watch you bubbling

kick your ass like her shitty bro failed when you were troubling

penguins dont quack like fucking ducks you dumbass

thats not part of the rap i just think that youre a dumbass

back to the rap sandler i bet you couldnt drop a single bar

too busy picking up stupid women at the stupid women bar

who even let you into hawaii

also did i say karkat liked you i was kidding he wants to kick your heinie

seriously watching that shit again made him start slamming his head into the cushions and screaming i had to pry them out his hands and he almost bit me

sorry i forgot i was rapping again

piece of shit forgot that you can like women while dating other men

still not over that chuck and larry shit adam

if you just said to the gov you were bi you coulda had em

firefighter of the year? well try putting out this heat

karkats gonna beat your ass like you do every night to your meat

gotta ask is this shit wish fulfilment for you

gotta say larry deserved better than you

i could treat him way better than you not in a gay way though

i just mean youre a massive sleaze basically the worlds shittiest bro

back to 50 first dates man sandler your shit is a bore

the stupid bits with schneider got my ass addicted to snore

if i was that stupid walrus id tear your ass to shreds

if i was that penguin i would also tear your ass to shreds

itd be harder but id still do it

bro fuck adam sandler im through it

===

TT: Wow. Bravo, Dave. You've outdone yourself.

TG: i wrote this one exceptionally fucking terrible to represent my inner darkness

TG: i can never unwatch those cinematic fossilized turds theyre like time capsules devoted to everything wrong with america

TG: you dont even understand how egregious that was

TT: I can sense the utter malaise and contempt in every word. It's beautiful.

TT: One particularly interesting point I'd like to make is the fact that you managed to refer to butts in a song about a male target, 10 times in the span of 37 lines. It's not an exorbitant amount, but it appears to be a running theme in your works. Very interesting, if you ask me --

TG: nooooo

TG: nope no

TG: not this shit again

TG: listen one of them is karkats fault

===

CG: ROSE, YOU JUST DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHAT HE'S DOING HERE AT ALL.

TT: No? Please, enlighten me Karkat.

CG: GLADLY.

CG: HE STARTS OUT WITH THE FRIGGIN WORD "ANAL" PRECEDING ALL OF THE OTHER MENTIONS, OF COURSE IT'S ON PURPOSE. IT INSTILLS THAT IMAGERY IN YOUR NUGBONE THROUGHOUT THE TRACK.

CG: AND YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED A RECURRING USE OF THE WORD "SHIT", IN TANDEM. BOG-STANDARD FOR DAVE, RIGHT? NO! IT'S PART OF THE EFFECT!

CG: MY THESIS: ADAM SANDLER MOVIES ARE PIECES OF ABSOLUTE SHIT AND THE REFERENCES TO WORDS LIKE "LOG" AND "SHIT" AND "ASS" ARE TO INVOKE THE SENSE OF TAKING A MASSIVE DUMP THROUGHOUT THE SPAN OF THE RAP, WHICH BY ALL MEANS WOULD BE AN EQUAL OR GREATER USE OF YOUR TIME THAN WATCHING THOSE MOVIES.

CG: RIGHT, DAVE?

TG: … yeah

TT: Okay, I'm willing to concede to that. On this subject matter, as an avid terrible movie enjoyer, you admittedly know better than myself.

CG: SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

TT: And you love them anyways.

CG: YEAH.

TG: hes right

TG: you hear that shit hes right

TG: fuck death of the author im verifying that interpretation

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #rose lalonde #homestuck #made with instrumentals of ether by nas in mind #posting early bc im impatient #comix

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our-questioning-experience · 3 months

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From "huh I'm definitely queer, that must mean im a lesbian (never feeling comfortable calling myself a lesbian)" to

"okay fine I'll call myself bi but I'm only attracted to women" to

"oh damn that's what asexuality feels like, but ill never be aro" to

"gender??? Wtf is happening?? I'll try using all pronouns" to

"I'll call myself agender/nonbinary/trans man interchangeably because I have no fucking idea" to

"shit women are lame?? I'm gay???? and ace??" to

"okay my whole life is a lie and I'm definitely 100% aromantic" to

"idfk I can't do this anymore, i'll call myself transmasculine and start transitioning" to

"uhhhh im uncomfortable with being stereotypically masculine, but I don't have a better alternative so I'll suck it up because at least it's better than getting she/her'd" to

"wait will transitioning change my sexuality?? Am I actually aroallo?? And do I only like men or anyone who's masculine??"

...and I finally gave up, I don't use labels anymore at all, I'll probably go through a non-normative transition and date anyone I feel connection to, because I can't do this shit anymore

that sounds exhausting, anon. i hope deciding not to use labels helps you.

#our questioning experience #questioning #lgbtq

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alstroemerian-dragon · 9 months

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thinking about the several month period where the survivors (plus the two who are already awake) work to 1) wake up mahiru 2) support her through healing and then 3) wake up peko

and how utterly Miserable that period of time has to be for fuyuhiko

(more under the cut because its another long one babey)

like. okay. heres a couple of disclaimers: this is a repeat, but i have not watched the anime. so if the character dynamics from it are your canon, just know i may not follow that. second, i… dont really think about mahiru that much. shes not really that much of a character to me, given what were given in canon, and the Casual Man Hating Mom Friend Lesbian (and i know she canonically has a crush on hajime so shes definitely bi or pan dont yell at me) trope just does nothing for me im sorry HOWEVER. in contrast to fuyuhiko, and in terms of what, in my brain, she does during the tragedy (which will probably WILDLY contradict literally everyone else’s opinions), there IS something in… her* arc post sim (that * will come back) that DOES interest me. bear with me

fuyuhikos ingrained belief system revolves almost entirely around the phrase ‘There is always a bigger fish.’ there is always going to be someone stronger, bigger, and more dangerous than you, so you have to work to be the strongest, biggest, and most dangerous you can in order to stay alive. along with that, he’s had very strangled views of what it means to be a Man shoved down his throat by most likely his father, so to him, being a man means being Big and Strong and Dangerous. but at the same time… he knows thats all bullshit. hes had other influences in his life, peko, his sister and, in my mind, his mother and other strong women high up in his clan, that have shown him the falsehoods of a lot of those claims. at the same time, he also knows, in the back of his head, that he physically can not meet those expectations for being a man. but… he is one. i think hes Solid in that. so it ends up all conglomerating and fighting in his head in a very confusing mess, which honestly has to be exhausting.

mahiru, by contrast, seems to have this very odd two-part system of beliefs, where being a man means being Confident and Strong and Protective, but at the same time, men are fundamentally Lazy and Stupid and Uncaring. women need to be protected by men, but also men are unnecessary. its… yeah its honestly familiar lmao. and some of this is the writers’ beliefs seeping in and some of it is bad writing but at the end of the day its what weve got.

so, to me, it really feels like the two of them would have absolutely hated each others guts during school. fuyuhiko is neither Big and Strong and Caring, nor is he Lazy and Stupid and Uncaring. he cares a lot, but not openly, or in a way that mahiru would easily recognize. hes an enigma in her eyes. and to fuyuhiko, mahiru is stuck in a frame of mind hes been fighting since he was a child, and as much as he’d try to be sympathetic, his anger has a tendency to get the better of him.

so… sato’s death would only have made this situation worse.

i dont think any of them knew he was responsible for her death. i dont think fuyuhiko told ANYONE aside from peko, especially since this would have been in their second year, after junko had begun sinking her talons into the entire class. how could he trust any of them? and he has to have known about her connection to mahiru, its the only way he could have found out she was involved in natsumi’s death. he kept it from her in particular, knowing she wouldn’t understand, knowing she would blame him, knowing it would just make things worse.

she probably doesnt realize the full extent of everything until… until after she wakes up.

im not gonna go too much into them as despairs, but lets just say that fuyuhiko… is responsible for a lot of bad things, even ones that happened to his fellow limbs. mahiru also did a lot of shit, but hiko i think is one of the only ones who hurt his so-called allies. and her cheery, fake, influencer-like attitude absolutely grated on him like crazy, resulting in a lot of screaming matches and even physical altercations.

so, when mahiru wakes up, her opinion of fuyuhiko is the lowest it could possibly be. hes an enigma, a stick in the gears, a man who hasnt yet shown his true colors and yet is also a violent, cruel dictator, fulfilling every expectation she has for the kind of man she expects the Ultimate Yakuza to be.

except he isnt. because by the time she wakes up, its been over a year and a half since the program shut down, and fuyuhiko is a very, very different person. and he doesnt have a low opinion of her at all. hes incredibly sympathetic to her situation, understands how much pain shes probably in, understands theres definitely a lot more under her surface beliefs that he doesnt see or know yet. thinks it was incredibly brave of her to stand up to him despite knowing he could be violent and dangerous.

and as the days go by, she sees that. sees him interacting with the others, sees him laugh at one of hajimes stupid jokes, sees him smile and roll his eyes at kazuichi’s physical affection, sees him lean on his cane when his leg flares up, sees him rubbing at the scars around his eye when they ache. sees how much respect he treats her with, how much space he gives her while not avoiding confrontations, because hes done running. hes been running for far too long, and hes done with it.

i think it takes a long time. weeks, maybe. months, possibly. but i think it starts to weigh on her mind, that she cant keep treating him like a criminal. like a weapon. cant keep ignoring his humanity in favor of the label of Violent Man that sits in her brain. and, additionally, interacting with the others, with hajime, with sonia, with kazuichi and sagishi. she starts to realize how utterly stupid the rigid gender structures that exist in her heard really are.

basically what im saying is i think mahiru is a he/him butch bi woman because i love to hit characters with the Cool Ass Gender ray. this is where that * comes back by the way thats why thats there because mahirus not a girl but also he is a girl but also hes not. hope this helps <3 also he and fuyuhiko are Worsties. they should eventually get to a point where they can both make jokes about the fact that fuyuhiko tried to kill him and can also have serious conversations about the sato and natsumi shit without devolving into unproductive arguing.

AND THEN PEKO WAKES UP FUCK THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT—

#personal #meta #danganronpa #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #mahiru koizumi #yeah im character tagging its about them. whatever #sorry to all the mahiru fans out there but his canon shit is just sooooo boring to me #i have to do something interesting with him or ill simply die #and hes too entwined with fuyuhiko and pekos arcs and storylines for me to allow myself to ignore him entirely so. here you go.#this is me trying really really hard to find something to grasp onto in him #i guess the ‘and then peko wakes up’ post is gonna have to be another one #i just think about mahiru waking up and asking coldly if fuyuhiko made it and he from out of her line of sight goes ‘im right here.’#and she just goes RIGID.#the angst i gobble it down out of my hands like a fucking animal

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pineapplerightsideupcake · 7 months

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hello im on anon bc im new to radblr and im a crypto but just wanted to say thank you for standing up for bisexuals on this blog. idk why but for some reason i expected radblr to have better opinions on bi women than the whole ‘sexually promiscuous bihet’ and ‘traitor for being osa’ and ‘more privileged than homosexuals’ bullshit that everybody else spews. the alphabet cult is actively erasing us in favor of ‘trans inclusive labels’, radblr is invalidating us by blatantly ignoring so many bi women’s experience with sexuality. the biphobia here is almost worse than any offhanded comment ive heard from a straight person. i also don’t think many understand that some women know they’re bi and are confident in that, but others may use bi during a time when theyre unsure if they’re actually attracted to men. ive gone a few of my teenage years acknowledging to myself that im bi, but now in my 20s im questioning if i ever truly felt attracted to men. the things i feel sexually in my most recent relationship with a woman are things ive never felt or even imagined were possible when ‘crushing’ on a guy. i acknowledge that *some* men are aesthetically pleasing for me to look at, but i’m also penis repulsed and always have been. theres nothing sexy to me about penis. truly. it makes me ill thinking about it. and that is confusing for me, bc seeing so many lesbians on here say how sure theyve been about liking women makes me think they did not grow up in an area like i did where homosexuality was truly thought of as demonic, even by the most ‘liberal’ people. i had no idea ssa was normal until i was probably 12 or 13 years old, and before then i just. repressed those feelings. i still did until i was about 17 and fully admitted to myself that ‘hey, i like girls’.

also i didn’t even know what the ‘comphet masterdoc’ was until exploring radblr, but i had heard comphet before and felt that it was very accurate in describing how i feel about men. idk anything abt what’s on the doc. regardless of my ‘true’ sexuality, it feels like theres a very hostile attitude towards bisexuality here, or even someone saying ‘ive tried to have a crush on guys before but only feel sexually/romantically attracted to women’ is met with ‘if youve even THOUGHT about having sex with a man then youre not a lesbian.’ no room for nuance.

sorry for the rant in your inbox, i hope this is okay. but yeah. thank you for being open about bisexuals here and standing up for them.

Thank you! I realized a while ago that radblr had a lot of issues that need to be challenged but I’ve also come to appreciate why these issues occur.

At the end of the day, almost nowhere allows women to speak this freely. Lesbians have had even their online communities absolutely destroyed by the TQ. So more than a few lesbian women on here really don’t want to talk to or about non lesbian women. And I think they’d be happier if they created a separate space for themselves on here where they didn’t feel pressured to, which I think is where a ton of this negativity comes from.

Bisexual women also need to stop offering themselves up as social sacrifices. I see a lot of the anti bi stuff come from bi women themselves sadly. A lot of women on radblr never unlearned that deeply unhelpful ID pol hierarchy from their TRA days.

As for your own personal journey, don’t let other people’s pain, no matter how legitimate, compound your own pain. The way I navigated my sexuality was I called myself a lesbian in my head because men did repulsed me. But it felt like a lie. I’d see a handsome dude jogging and feel a pang of attraction. Men still crept into my fantasies. I have zero desire to sleep with or date men. But that’s got nothing to do with my attraction to them. It’s a conscious personal choice I’ve made for my own happiness and safety.

So call yourself a lesbian just inside your head. Do it everyday. Look in the mirror and say “I am a lesbian” and if after a few months that feels like a lie then you’re bisexual and that’s amazing! If it feels like coming home, if everyday it feels more true, then you’re a lesbian and that’s amazing!

Please love yourself no matter what 💛

#radical feminism #radical feminist community #radical feminist safe #radical feminists do interact #radical feminists do touch #radblr #radical feminists please interact

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fagsex · 8 months

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you can have preference for a gender or presentation of person as well as a bisexual without this bullshit. i am a bisexual man with a preference towards men or masculine individuals. do you know what i call myself? bisexual. i am not bi gay i am not 'achillean' im not a fucking pan. i am a bisexual man. i have a type for personalities as well, do i have to categorize that too now? do i have to make up some bullshit term that negates degades of history because you want to be a soft lesbian and then go fifty shades on some internet man behind your girlfriends back (yeah, im literate you dicks i can see that shit)? are we sapiosexuals again? metrosexuals? fckh8? what the hell are you doing man. what the hell is this. why am i supposed to be quiet, why am i supposed to take harassment on a bare minimum weekly basis by people too scared to be bisexual? look at me in the eyes, okay? you are no better than a straight man telling a trans man these things. there is no difference between you and that man. you are both exclusively into women, and choosing to be a cunt. you are no better than a gay man telling a woman these things. you are no better than any other catcaller, harasser, total fucking jagoff. do you understand me? am i being understood am i shouting at the wind i really dont feel like this is that difficult to understand but yall have been on again off again for the past year so apparently it is! do not pass go do not collect 500 dollars, you are a predator, you are a creep, you are a liar to yourself and to others. fuck clean off.

#emergency broadcast system

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ars0nism · 2 years

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okay, final post on this. my thing with terfs isnt the terfs. im 18, ive been through a lot, i can handle a couple of terfs on my page. what bothers me is the young people, especially young girls & transmascs, that fall into the terf rabbithole on accident.

SO.

heres my quick & easy guide on how i personally check for terfs. PLEASE check for these signs. to protect yourself. ofc not all things immediately mean terf, but this is my personal checklist

rad and or fem in the url (IMMEDIATE red flag)

labrys lesbian flag (somewhat of a red flag, could be innocent young lesbian roped into it. if theyre an adult its a red flag)

if you click on the search icon it will show a bunch of commonly used tags. look at the tags. common tags wpuld be radfem, radical feminism, terfism, gender critical etc

look at where they reblog from. who theyre following if its public. what posts they like if thats public. look at the bios of these. if the terf doesnt have a bio and is trying to be stealthy, oftentimes the people they agree with are open about it. block both while youre at it

queer slur discourse (also done outside of terf circles but far more common among terfs, especially coupled with the "not queer, im lesbian" stuff (though thats understandable and not inherently terfy) and in combination with other red flags)

exclusionism (not inherently terfy but still a good point to look out for)

fixation on wombs and vulvas (immediate red flag no one but terfs is that obsessed with their reproductive organs)

the "LGB" community, or even the "remove the L" because they dont want to associate with gay & bi people

really big hatred of the concept of "genital preference". sexuality is only about genitals to them.

intense man hatred. they hate men so much. (also not an immediate red flag because yeah some of it is warranted but you can tell the difference between joking about trauma/standing up against the patriarchy and straight up... being a terf)

the term "ssa". stands for same sex attraction. (pretty big one i think. i personally have only heard it from terfs.)

febfem. bisexuals who only date women. (also one i didnt know about until like half an hour ago. also a big one)

this is one specific to the current time and might be obsolete soon but if theyre vocal amber heard supporters. those are ALL terfs.

terfs are also often swerfs. hating on sex workers (not the system, the system is fucked and we should recognize it) is terfy !

they like to refer to us (trans people) as a cult. which, to be honest, after this experience, im more likely to call them a cult. (if a terf disagrees with you, get ready for closing anon & gross bullshit in your notes. we have mutual circles, they have them too)

and of course green flags for trans people & trans allies, if they have these the odds of it being a terf are. a lot smaller

pronouns in bio

some variation of lgbtq+

following trans blogs

inclusive

mature fucking human being

and if you're in doubt whether or not its a terf, its better to block an innocent person than to interact with a terf, id say. odds are the innocent person doesnt care.

BUT!

let's say you said something they didn't like and now your post is circling in their shitty little group chat. what then? my suggestion would be to

CLOSE ANON ASKS. once their cult has found your page and realizes you post about trans things, or worse, are trans, they will harass you. anon gives a lot of confidence to send death threats. dont let them.

Block all of them. No, it's not gonna stop new ones from harassing you in their place, but it does make for a pretty nice blocklist.

If you need to, don't hesitate to step away from tumblr for a while. Not everyone can handle harassment, and it's okay to step away if it's too much.

Remember you're worth so much more than any of these terfs. Remember being trans is something to be proud of, remember you are loved, and most importantly, remember they're just terfs on the internet. laugh at them. make fun of them. they may say shitty things, but they can't actually hurt you. (anything that can hurt you, like doxxing, is illegal. get law enforcement if possible if you think you're in actual physical danger)

Best of all is to ignore it. Don't keep talking about it ("take your own advice" im working on it). it's not fun to harass someone who just ignores you.

If you really can't cope, it's okay to close your blog. You don't have to stay. Make a new blog. Only tell your mutuals.

(also, side note, i have a blocklist filled with terfs. i am absolutely down to share this blocklist with you, if you want somewhere to get started)

#feel free to add onto the checklist tbh if you have any other good things #i focus mostly on easy to notice flags #with my checklist usually i catch a terf within five to ten minutes #the amber point. i dont care about the case. but everyone ive seend efending her turned out to be a terf. SO #long post

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vtoriacore · 1 year

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(This got explicit in the sexual sense (just for context it's not elaborate) im sorry you can still delete if you don't wanna answer)

Kay so I'm queer

A walking pride rainbow if you will

Then I'm also asexual, and majority know what asexuality generally represents

So when it comes to gender, as per cis men and women, I'm unsure if I can still be interested in 'men', cus we all know how boys are like (and I'm in the worst continent to look for a boyfriend in X_X )

So I've constantly asked myself 'What is it that a man could give me that women would still be able to provide, but is more common and easier to obtain from them?'

And the top answer I could get from that was ✨cock✨ (trans women would still provide and I'm greatful)

But then I'm asexual????? And I don't think I want a meat stick in me besides when I wanna start a family

And strap ons still exist sooooo

So then I asked myself 'what else can they provide???'

All I can come up with is muscles, strength, height and deeper voice

All of which women can very much still provide

So the question is

Am I under the bisexual umbrella? Even doe the only genders I see are society's cis quota cus they keep trying to shove it down our throats, yet for queer peeps gender is just another detail of identity, so aren't I pan cus gender doesn't really factor into my attraction?

Or am I lesbian? Cus time and time again the universe seems to be trying to convince me to just be queer and woman lover all the way

What do you think

hmm this is actually very deep and im so FAR from a professional so don't take my opinion to heart bc im not qualified for anything but

okay in short it seems to me like maybe you're attracted to femininity and fem aligned genders? it doesn't have to be sexual or anything (but even if you're asexual, that shit is a whole ass spectrum with levels to it so could still be possible and normal!!).

bisexuality is attaction to more than two genders (it's the definition!!) so you can still be attracted to masc aligned people, yes! but if you fully do not see gender even if you're asexual, but rather find people romantically appealing for who they are then id say you could be panromantic? gender as a whole is so damn complicated too, bc it makes pansexuality in particular a bit difficult. i used to think i was pan but then i had a preference for 'women' because of some traits society put on them such as being more emotional (which are stereotypes) so i then reverted to being bi. but if you find that you prefer fem aligned people then maybe you're biromantic with a preference for them? if you still hold attraction to men or masc aligned people then you still are bi yes. you could very well be sapphic actually tho if you find that fem aligned (or masc - but not cismam and non-binary too!) hit different depending on your own gender.

basically, this shit complicated as fuck and i think you're biromantic! BUT always go with the term that feels right to you! if you're fine identifying as queer that's perfectly fine! or if you feel panromantic is right then that's also fine? or bi and pan for short if your asexuality is also complicated because lord knows that shit took me so long to figure out fr. this was deffo an interesting rant so thanks for sending it in! i probably didn't help bc as you can see i know next to nothing JDNDJFB someone more qualified could probably answer better

#✧toria answers #half of yhis was my assumptions on your gender and identity sorry i was somewhat speculative JDNDNF

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mydemonsdrivealimo · 1 year

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What were Jensen and Bryce’s experiences discovering their sexualities like? What triggered them to start questioning? How long did it take for them to find a label that fit? Did any specific people help them in any way? Anything else you’d like to add?

tysm for this ask work is done now and im so excited to answer it (apologies its also long af)

What were Jensen and Bryce’s experiences discovering their sexualities like?

Jensen: it took him a long time to be "bothered" with it, is the best way to put it. jensen didnt really have the typical high school relationship/s or experimentation, which def set him back (and led to some bad decisions) in college. he had a gf in high school (who is featured in what doesnt kill you), but he just did it bc she asked and he figured why not, yk? (funnily enough they technically never "broke up" but after jensen got arrested it was implied)

after getting in w his foster parents and moving on to college, he actually had time to figure out stuff about himself (rather than worrying about him and his mom), which was a very weird experience for him. because he was into the music scene more by then, he was meeting lots of new people at shows, and many of them actually had an,, interest in him?? jensen would have never considered himself attractive or even likable before this but suddenly people were asking him out for drinks and actually wanted to get to know him

it was mostly women at first, but ofc a few men went for it too, and jensen never felt compelled to say no. jensen never directly recognized that he was interested in women and men, he just kinda accepted it how it was and moved on (like,, hes friends with aliyah and cy so being queer wasnt some culture-shocking thing that needed to be a big deal yk)

Bryce: bryce started dating early high school and it took him maybe two gfs to realize that he wanted to explore Other options. i dont think he wouldve thought about it much in the beginning, just started dating girls like his friends, but it wouldve been more difficult for him to acknowledge that he definitely wasnt straight

i think bryce wouldve been in with a popular crowd (until everything with his parents at least), so even hinting at any sort of coming out would be a much bigger deal for him. he didnt date or go out with any guys until after his parents bs went public. he went off on his own for a while and that included meeting new people, particularly more queer individuals. his reputation was already fucked so at that point he didnt care anymore, and it was a surprisingly perfect time to try new things and new people

What triggered them to start questioning?

Jensen: somewhere deep in his subconscious, jensen always knew he was attracted to people other than women. again, during his formative years, he really didn't focus on it much, but when it came to more serious dating he was plenty attracted to men, too. he never really questioned it, ig, bc it was sorta always there

Bryce: again, after dating a couple girls, he was like "okay this is nice, but what are my other options" yk. he realized that women weren't his only interest and started questioning more of who he was interested in, rather than just who he was already dating

How long did it take for them to find a label that fit?

Jensen: a while. at least until med school. he labeled as bi for a long time just because it was understandable for other people, but it never quite worked for him. sure it was fine enough, but queer just felt better. rather than just sexuality, he felt that queer covered into gender, too, which he liked more

Bryce: during that hs/early college phase he didn't label as anything, but once he was more confident with it all, pan always felt correct. when dating or anything along those lines, gender never really played a role for him. he was attracted to who he was attracted to and that was enough for him

Did any specific people help them in any way?

Jensen: aliyah and cy were always supportive. they def helped him with labels and generally being in an accepting environment

Bryce: the aforementioned new group of friend he made after the shit with his parents. they were much more open and accepting than his other friends seemed to be. eventually he talked to his old friends again (the ones that werent mad at him) and a good amount of them were fully supportive, it just wasnt really something they had talked about before

Anything else you’d like to add?

not that i can think of!! but again tysm for this ask <3

#jensen valentine #open heart mc #open heart #bryce lahela #asks answers #bryce lahela × jensen valentine #open heart choices

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creaturebehavior · 1 year

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i keep thinking recently about how confused i was sexually as an adolescent because i didn’t know about gender queerness yet and even once i started exploring gender and my own transness it was still very confusing for awhile and took many years honestly for me to truly accept and understand my experience with gender and what that means for my experience with my sexuality and i feel such relief for how far i’ve come. there’s been periods in my life where i felt so confused

i didn’t understand why i was so often attracted to gay men all my life? and why i was also attracted to women? and why was i really only attracted to people who were just more feminine in general regardless of their gender? and why do i feel like a hundred times more attracted to someone if they’re queer? And i had to deal with internationalized homophobia and confusion like. I know i’m not the only queer to have felt this way but i felt like it was predatory to be more attracted to someone who is queer especially if they’re trans, even though i am queer i am trans i am gay i am queer in every way beyond my gender and sexuality as well. but i felt like that was bad of me or wrong of me. Until i spent a little more time on this earth, got to know more queer people, got to know myself better, and realized that this is an extremely normal and common experience

the reason i use the word queer to describe myself is so much because of my journey with sexuality and gender.

i thought i was straight and cis, then i thought i was bisexual and then i learned the word pansexual and was like that’s me. and then i kind of thought i was a lesbian but i also felt like i was a boy but i was in denial about my trans feelings. then i accidentally fell in love with my best friend who was a guy so i was like i guess i’m pansexual for sure. then i accidentally discovered gender and then i was like i guess i’m gender fluid. and then i was like i think i’m a boy. then i was like i think im a boy like, mostly. and around this same time i learned it’s okay to just call myself bisexual and that it can mean the same thing as pansexual if you’re using the most popularly accepted definition of the word in the lgbt community so i was like okay i’m bi now i guess. but also at this same time defining my sexuality became pretty unimportant to me. then i felt pretty truly mostly genderless but a little fluid for a good few years. then i moved away and was mostly back in the closet out for safety reasons and that really started to screw with my head and i was genderless af through these years but everyone perceived me as a cis woman and called me she/her and i was also dating a straight man at the time who perceived me as cis so i was just feeling so unseen and strange and so didn’t feel like myself. then i got out of that relationship and had to get back in touch with myself again. then more moving and more being in the closet. eventually i realized i do identify more with womanhood than i did when i was younger and that is in part because of living five or so years being perceived as a cis woman it really changed my perception on who i am in relation to the world and what i feel that means for my identity personally. and so there’s been times now over the last couple years i identified a lot more with womanhood than i ever had previously. and this year i feel like i’ve been very in touch with parts of my gender i haven’t been in touch with in a long time. feeling boyish at times well really all over the board. genderfluid is still a term that’s true for me 10 years later but even better than that i think is to call myself queer. cuz what the hell is going on. and it applies to my experience with sexuality too.

and side note, while we’re on the topic of queer experiences. dating someone who is “straight” is very confusing because i am not straight so we cannot be straight together. but language i guess is just as complicated as sexuality. there’s plenty of people who identify as straight who engage in queer relationships or queer sex so. But at the time, especially being young, i remember feeling really stressed out at times dating a straight man because i felt this loss of identity in the face of his identity and thoughts would constantly swirl around in my head like “anyone who dates me is automatically a little gay just by the nature of the situation. if i’m trans then he’s technically a little gay” just trying to make sense of my experience. ugh being young an queer is hard.

i’m grateful i understand myself now and that i don’t have to stress out over stuff like this as much. i still feel some gender stress sometimes cuz it is a lot to process having a fluid gender at times, like sometimes i feel mentally like unprepared for a gender shift or i just wasn’t expecting to have a certain gender thought or feeling and i have to process it like. i still deal with that and dunno if that will ever leave but for the most part i feel a lot more at peace and have a lot more understanding of myself and queerness in general and it’s a relief.

#processing

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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 2 years

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I apologize if you've answered this before, feel free to link to previous answers if you don't want to go about typing up an entirely new answer/spiel but how can I get passed my, I don't want to say disgust cause that's not it but I don't know any other word to describe it, maybe hesitancy to admit attraction to men? I sometimes use/add on the label abrosexual cause I feel like my sexuality legitimately fluctuates, like I feel like a lesbian, only interested in women and non-men and then a few days or weeks later solely men and men-aligned people or whatever and whenever I fluctuate, especially when it's to a bi/pan fluctuation I feel like my attraction to women is somehow lesser because of my attraction to men as well. I know that's not actually true, but it's hard to get that thought or mindset out of my head. I also feel kinda bad sometimes using abrosexual, like I'm a bad queer or something for not just saying I'm bi with fluctuating preferences, that I'm only using a microlabel/not well known label to feel special or something.

Also a little unrelated but how can I say I like nonbinary people without saying it in a way that I think that it's just some third gender. I know it's not, Im genderqueer (fluid?) myself but I never know what words to use. Like is women and non-men okay to say? Is there a better way to put it?

Idk if all of that made any sense, I hope it does. Thanks in advance for answering, I hope you're having a good day and I appreciate this blog.

These are a lot of topics/question to get through so I'll try to be concise here.

The whole thing about "hesitancy to admit attraction to men" sounds like text book internalised biphobia to me. It's very common amongst bi women (and I guess makes sense if you also partially identify as a woman and/or have been assigned female at birth and socialised that way) to feel like they are "not queer enough" or "bad sapphics" for also being attracted to men. That's biphobia, plain and simple. This particular flavour of biphobia is especially popular amongst radfems and if your main exposure to the queer community happens online, that's probably where you picked it up and internalised it because the radfems are both loud here and also manage to fly under the radar too much so their ice cold takes get retweeted/reblogged without a critical thought about it. It all comes from the radfem idea that ~men are inherently bad~ and ~queer women should always prioritise other women~. And it leads to bi women feeling like they are traitors to the cause for having attraction to men, so they scold themselves and say how unfortunate that attraction is in the hopes of being accepted by the radfems. I could go on about this forever but at this point I will direct you to two older posts. This is one about how to get rid of internalised biphobia. This is about the topic of bi women hating themselves for being attracted to men.

Now, you say you like to use the label abrosexual and then also feel guilty for that. Listen... you can use whatever label(s) you like. They are just words and you do not owe it to ANY group of people to use the same label that they use. You feel like a lesbian sometimes? Then call yourself a lesbian then, if you like. You feel bi sometimes? Then call yourself bi then. Your sexuality fluctuates a lot and you want to use a word to express that fluctuation? That's what abrosexual is for. You can literally use all of these words whenever they are relevant or make sense in the context. Again: it's just words. They are tools for communication so pick the one that fits whatever it is you want to communicate in that moment. It doesn't have to go any deeper than that.

Last point about how to include non-binary people in your sexuality label. Well... you could, for example use "bisexual". That means attraction to more than one gender - nowhere does it say which genders those have to be. It can be any, as long as it's more than one. You don't owe it to anyone to give them more details about your sexuality. You can just say "this is my label, make of that what you will" and go about your day. I'm cis so I would definitely recommend to also get a non-binary opinion on this (maybe @tiger-moran wants to add something) but I've seen a lot of criticism from non-binary people at the term "non-men" because as I understand it, it's basically lumps non-binary genders back in with women as if they are just woman-lite. What about non-binary people who are man-aligned or who are bigender/genderfluid and are also sometimes men? There's not really a way for you to tell how much or if at all a non-binary person partially identifies as a man so... saying "women and non-men" makes it seem like non-binary people are somehow all closer to womanhood than something else. (Also I've seen "non-men" used, again, by radfems to find a new way of saying ~all men are bad, only non-men are good~.) Why not just say "I am attracted to women and some non-binary genders" if you do not want to use a label like "bisexual"? Like... I know the language about all this is still developing and ever-changing but also it doesn't have to be so complicated. You can just either pick a label that already includes multiple genders without having to specify which genders exactly, or you can say you are attracted to some (but not all) non-binary genders without using the term "non-men".

Maddie

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menalez · 2 years

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Okay sorrh this is long I got a couple of receipts from sapphicdesi and don’t wanna send screenshots since I have social anxiety but the post genderistseku used was a bad one to call out sapphicdesi, but it doesn’t discredit all the hostile things she’s said about bisexual women

it’s nothing new, they all deeply hate lesbians. they refuse to admit they are homophobic oppressors and how homophobia and problemtic the bi community is. she has me blocked and so do many other of her deranged friends who have some osa victim complex / oppression fetish. they really act and speak like no other women experience misogyny.

(Bi women really aren’t it from an anon) they really aren’t. they’re the worst. rabid homophobic misogynistic narcs. who apparently spew the most racism here too. i’m gonna post all the asks / discussions i never did, they can keep harassing me. a bi tra or bi woman from radblr sent me such a racist yesterday i’m a post it when i wake up

(In response to an anon) but isn’t funny i’m called crazy and hateful for saying they aren’t oppressed nor victims for being into dick and men? im insane and evil for saying heterophobia isn’t real? and for being upset at how lesphobic and abusive they are? most bi women think lesbians need to be converted and raped by males. they are so deeply deeply narcissistic and fake feminists.

(In response to an anon talking about how they prefer straight normal friends above gender “queer” people) it’s also so fucked up because a lot of the gendies are actually heteros/bis. but you know bisexuals have always been homophobic and annoying. Even having no males and dick or threesomes w ur ugly bf in my bio im a lesbian, rejecting tras/tw got me banned on tinder bc of bis/trans/gendies. Always triggered white people.

(In response to an anon talking about a post where bi women claimed to like penis over vagina) oh my god ew no I never saw that can you link me? but that doesn’t surprise me at all, bi women don’t love women or respect women at all, only dick and treat lesbians like walking sex toys. they want us to be raped and used by dick so bad and then for themselves. straight women are more tolerable at this point, at least they aren’t pretending to like women. and it’s funny bi radfems think they’re any better or less homophobic. I’m so fucking sick of the homophobia everywhere, bisexual women hate lesbians/women so so fucking deeply I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with them, they’re fucking homophobic dick obsessed demons. of course lesbians to them are just their to lick their pussy and cuddle them, just for their boredom but real relationships and real sex? gotta be men and dick! and then they spew vile shit about lesbians all day long and how they love women more than us and are so gay. I hate them the same as trans males at this point. misogynistic homophobic demons who talk about dick like it’s water they’d die without. also if you’re an offended bi who’s gonna send me hate asks after this don’t bother just unfollow me and blog about how much you hate lesbians and how we oppress you for your love of men and dick.

bi women are fucking demons who don’t love women and hate women. especially lesbians who actually love women and only women. lmao apparently we’re not really lesbians if we don’t like straight men in dresses who fetishize us but they are lmao, like look at how they start listing their bs gender labels to showcase how they’re better for wanting to fuck everyone aka men w stupid labels. “all women” lmao het men in dresses ain’t women, trans “women” are evil lesbian fetishists and neither of you love women you’re homophobic creeps.

I just looked up bi on her account, there’s a lot lot more but I just used these since I don’t want this to be super long.

She doesn’t site things for most of(couldn’t find sources on her blog for any of these claims) this stuff and mainly uses her own experiences and others around her. I don’t doubt her experiences or her life exposure to hateful bisexuals but imo it doesn’t justify how hostile and hateful she’s being in return to bisexual. Im gonna cut it here since this s already long and I really already feel anxious about this

Sorry again for this

i agree genderistdeku should’ve used a different post if she wanted to illustrate a point and that her post choice was a bad one. to me it just came across as almost laughing at a lesbian for being abused by a bi woman. i understand that someone facing abuse at the hands of any type of minority doesn’t justify hating said minority, and i wholeheartedly agree there, but it just came across as malicious and like she’s laughing at sapphicdesi for what she experienced. i assume that wasn’t her goal or her intention, but that’s how it came across. based on the quotes you provided (i did not check to see their accuracy), there were clearly far better posts to choose from if her argument was that sapphicdesi is prejudiced against bi ppl.

for the first post you quoted, i agree the bi community is unfortunately deeply homophobic today. but i disagree bi ppl necessarily have an oppression fetish, many definitely are quite privileged and sheltered but many do in fact face a lot of shit for being bi. 2nd post, i think she has every right to criticise racism & homophobia, at the same time i think especially as woc & lesbians, we have to be very mindful about what we say and how we say it. i don’t think she genuinely hates bi women and i think she is simply hurt & traumatised, and to me it comes off like she’s very frustrated with the homophobia & other prejudices she sees spewed by many bi people. + im sure she’s very wary bc of what she experienced, and i can somewhat understand as i also faced abused at the hands of my ex who happens to be bi. but people don’t always know ur intentions from what u write on here and ppl often divorce your words from the context you wrote them in as well. for this reason i think we should be careful, and esp as woc we don’t get cut the same slack that others are.

for the rest, i get the vibe that she’s very frustrated by the homophobia she’s seen expressed on here and seemingly feels very betrayed by bi women. i don’t blame her bc i know many lesbians feel this way, and sometimes i feel frustrated and exhausted from the stuff i see on here too. or the homophobia i see irl. when it’s stuff online, sometimes i just log off and talk to someone who i can trust and know can understand me & where im coming from. i havent really properly talked about this before, but my previous relationship was with a bi woman (so was my relationship before that but that’s another story). and the entire time in our relationship, she’d tell me that one day she’ll leave me for a man. like she just… would straight up tell me that unprompted. she’d often ask me how id feel if she suddenly realised she was straight. and id usually say nothing or just say idk and she’d just keep pressing & asking until i eventually breakdown into tears. constantly telling me she wants a relationship thats “normal”, that her family will accept, that she wants to have a kid within the next year, that if she finds a man she likes she’ll leave me for him. another time some guy was hitting on one of us at a gay bar and she just… turns to me and makes out with me and then turns back to him, and gives him a look. idk why she did that or what her goal was but it made me deeply uncomfortable. but i said nothing bc i was scared of her and scared of losing her too. and on top of that she would physically, verbally, and most of all emotionally abuse me. this is stuff i kept to myself most of the time but at times people in my life would see how she was and beg me to leave her (and i refused and told them they simply didn’t understand). so speaking on a personal level, i get it. but i just tell myself that i don’t want to be anything like her, i don’t want to let how hateful she is change me. i make the conscious choice to be mindful and tell myself there’s many bi women (& men, tho idk many) out there who are completely decent and normal. who support gay people fully and truly. normal bi people. and im lucky to know a few, like my best friend who when she slept w a trans woman told me she thinks i won’t like it bc it’s like being w a man, or my bi cousin who’s 7 years younger than me yet came out at a younger age than me (she was 11 i think). they definitely exist and they are what prove me to everyday that shitty people are shitty independent of their sexuality. sorry for ranting but, yeah. i wish sapphicdesi well bc i can tell she’s hurting and i can empathise with what she’s going through. she and i talked about that before i believe and i know it’s really painful when someone you loved and trusted takes advantage of you and hurts you the way her ex hurt her. it also can really hurt when the women you expect to understand & support you most, are ones you see spewing homophobic rhetoric. i hope she heals from that. but ultimately people take our words at face value and won’t see that when she says “i hate bi women”, she doesn’t literally mean “i hate all bi women”. they’ll just take it literally without knowing where she’s coming from.

#i was gonna say it’s diff from saying i hate straight women but actually it isnt that different bc if u say that on radblr they’ll just take #it as u saying u hate women or smth. ppl on here rly only get it if u say i hate men. not even if u say i hate white ppl or anything else #anything else will have ppl assuming the worst even if what u mean is ‘im sick of dealing with homophobia from x group of ppl’#and also since bi women r a minority n marginalised it comes off differently #also sorry for taking a long time to reply i only finally got time now #anonymous

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smute · 2 years

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Your post about queer attraction is incredibly homophobic and I wish you'd reflect on that some more. Lesbians aren't attracted to men and gay men (as is "schwul") aren't attracted to women not because anyone is policing our identity but because we simply aren't. Homosexuality isn't restrictive or anything because it's literally only a label for what you already feel inside. And if you feel like a label is restrictive it's probably not the right one for you! There are no "rules" to lesbianism because the term is nothing more than a descriptor. We wouldn't be attracted to men even if we didn't actively identify as lesbian or if the term didn't exist.

For many queer people gender doesn't matter (as much) and sexuality is fluid and that's amazing but it does for lesbians/gay people and that's also okay. It's not restrictive or backwards or "silly" (kinda sad to see so many queer people uncritically reblogging a post calling not being attracted to men silly like seriously wtf), it's ... just how we are. And if we were attracted to other genders then we just wouldn't be lesbian/gay and that's also completely fine but we just happen to be.

Please stop promoting this idea that being lesbian/gay is being close-minded and that everyone is secretly bi to some degree and being kept on acting on that by queerphobes.

This post is pretty bad either way but it's kinda worse that it's by a known creep who apparently can't separate hys orientation play kink (aka tricking lesbians into having sex with men) from hys politics. He just really really wants lesbian to fuck men and y'all are recycling hys homophobic rhetoric without any critical input. Like seriously, if you want gays & lesbians to feel safe around you in any way, do better.

please unfollow me if you haven't already done so. im not trying to be mean or anything i just dont feel comfortable using this very personal blog for the policing of identity labels.

what the post is saying, at the very core, is that homosexuality isn't necessarily absolute. i think your disapproval of that idea is coming from a place of fear (and a few years ago i might have agreed with you). you fear for the permanence of your own identity, the familiarity and safety it offers. it's an identity that you've had to fight for and one that you've defined for yourself very carefully. it's a normal response.

but... that fear is your problem and not anyone else's. you seem to be very focused on the idea of a gender binary so i would encourage you to think about how non-binary and intersex people fit into your definition of homosexual, gay, lesbian, etc.

you're also conflating gender expression and sexual orientation

#ask #anon

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incorrectsnkships · 3 years

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OKAY OKAY OKAY! I CAME TO THIS CONCLUSION LAST FUCKING NIGHT! CONNIE THE MOTHERFUCKING SPRINGER IS GAY!

So at first I just thought he was a really confident and comfortable heterosexual, y'know? BUT NOW! NOW!? oh no, no, no!

Reason numbrero uno! He has feminine hips. Straight boys don't strut like that, straight boys don't fucking be flexible like that.

Reason numbrero duex! He says bitch waaay to much. So if you don't know the history of the word bitch, bitch was also used a a gay slur for y'know twinks. You don't see Jean or Levi OR EVEN EREN going around going bitch, bitch, bitch, fucking crazy bitches. Sure maybe once in awhile, but Connie use it like a sister y'know?

Reason numbrero drei! Look at who the fucking hell he's hanging 'round with! Ymir; the fucking bitch lesbian. Christa/Historia; the lesbian or bi girl dude. He's the fucking second lesbian protector (next to Eren). You see that gay ass gay homie grab in like what season 3? Or was it 2? He's friends with Sasha, who does she hang out with most of the time!? Ymir and Historia! Sometimes Jean and Mikasa. Speaking of Jean, he ain't sleek either! Connie hanging 'round with a fucking bi-saster a bi disaster! Not to mention Reiner and Armin! We see him worry about Reiner and Bertholdt when they “missing” asking someone to check on them to see if there alive! Man looking out for his gay homies! Also in one of the games he asks Armin why he spends so much time with Eren, to which Armin shoots back with one of the most gay awakening responses, “Hm well what about Ymir and Historia, or Reiner and Bertholdt?” Like yo.

Reason numbrero shi! He mom picks out gay ass fucking names! Sunny, Martin, Connie. Fucking gay dude. (everyone seems to think Sunny is a girl but judging by there titans I actually think Sunny was a boy dude. That’s just a hunch tho~)

Reason numbrero five! He seems like the kinda guy who would wear jewelry. Not really necessarily gay BUt~ I think earrings would so be he thing, and if he we’re to come out he’d probably start wearing one earring!

Reason numbrero six! Look at the kind of shit this man does! He fucking carried Armin princess style, put him down like a prince, bruh he fucking CHOSE to he CHOSE to. He knew what he was doing. And that one official art where he’s wearing that blonde lopsided wig with makeup on. That dress with the fake boobs in it!

Reason numbrero 7! My mama always say, that if a boy is best friends with a girl he will almost always usually fall for her. Connie is close as HELL with Sasha. And while I LOVE springles. This know discovery is D A W N I N G on me! Connie don’t really seem to show that much interest in women. But not necessarily to men either. And that factor being. I think bby Connie is shy!

Overall I think he’s a great fucking character! I love Connie, but this just made me open a whole new chapter for him. I’m currently rewatching AOT with my mom ‘cause she done wanted to watch it and I couldn’t let her watch that cringey dub so yee. I’ll be paying attention for other Easter eggs and clues. I never researched Connie to much but now that I have I’m made some pretty interesting discoveries! In conclusion Connie Springer is probably fucking gay. SO in other words you were RIGHT! ATTACK ON TITAN IS FUCKING GAY! 😍

( j u s t l i k e m e l o l )

srry for the late reply, but you’ve actually convinced me

mans comes across heterosexual but he definitely had a crush on every single male member of the 104th. literally every one. and like many others, one of the older scouts was his gay awakening. and im not saying that connie had a crush on them or anything, and this is definitely not a ship post between connie and any adult in the show, but im just saying that he admired them. a lot. too much. and had to look away when they got changed in front of him.

“connie why do you offer to go kill titans with captain levi whenever we have a mission?”

“i admire his skills!”

“connie, you do realise that erwin doesn’t have time to have tea with you right?”

“no i know i just wanted to talk about stuff with him. professional stuff. as a soldier.”

“connie, you know that moblit doesn’t need an assistant right? he is the assistant”

“WELL SUE ME FOR WANTING TO BE HELPFUL JEAN-“

he’d simp for armin so hard. every week he has a crush on someone new, and then it goes in a loop. and he’d “practice” kissing too. like he’d occasionally bring the topic up in conversation and then go from there based off of the persons reply. “hey uh, jean, so like- have you had your first kiss yet?” and then jean would tell him no and connie would go full internal gay panic. “o- oh yeah, thas- thas cool, um, well, i havent- had mine either so like- would you wanna practice? it doesn’t count-“

connie would have his first everything with jean and it would be so funny because it just happens all at once. like hed get asked if hes ever kissed someone and hed just glare at jean and be so flustered

connie finds it so difficult to tell romantic and platonic feelings apart and thats why hes fallen for all of his friends

armin: oh, connie, thanks for doing that favour for me! i dont know what id do without you!

eren: wait! hurry, where do they keep the extra blades?!

connie: in the cellar!

eren: great- connie, i love you!

marco: see connie? if you just fold the paper a little more, youll get there :) youre a pleasure to teach and i love spending time with you :)

also why do i feel like connie and marco dated for a little while? not even dated then, had a thing going on for a bit. like besides from jean because he doesnt count, but connies first romantic encounter was with marco, fight me

and i definitely feel like connie went to hange for some advice about his sexuality. he was so confused and liking everyone at the same time, so who else better to go to than the person who tried to convince erwin to start an lgbtq+ youth club right?

but when eren and armin announced that they were officially dating, that was an eye opener for connie and it made him realise that its okay to be yourself

and it took him a while to actually realise that he was gay. hence the fact that hed physically gag whenever someone suggested for him to date sasha, and all those times in the boys changing room that hed have to turn around or leave completely

so yes, i can see where youre coming from, and i agree with you. but if we were to list the people connie has simped for from most-least?

marco

armin

jean

eren

levi (not really simping, more fanboying/celebrity crush)

reiner

moblit (same as levi)

bertholdt

#incorrectsnkships #aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #connie springer #connie springer x jean kirstein #jean x connie #armin arlert #eren yeager #marco bott #levi ackerman #moblit berner #connie is a gay man #my friend says so

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olderthannetfic · 3 years

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hi hi history-non again, sorry I know it's a very

ahem wide and girthy ahem

ask, and i'm sorry for not narrowing it down farther my brain is smooth as butter and the dart board, so to speak, is. big. i feel like im throwing my dart in the ocean of 'what i don't know' and trying to spear a fish who might speak to me like the queer elder i never ha d ;lkasjd;flkas damn you small conservative town ANYWAYS

i guess okay maybe do you have any favourite figureheads? whats your fave pieces of lgbtqa+ media (like books or shows?)

thanks again and sorry for.

uh.

big.

Lolololol. Yes.... it’s so... big...

In the 90s, the writers of nonfiction who I found really inspirational were Susie Bright and Kate Bornstein. My Gender Workbook was a classic. I gather there’s a new edition.

I was a massive, massive nerd, so my actual favorite queer book as a 14-year-old is one that will be a bit... uh... much if you’re not feeling very intellectual. It’s Third Sex, Third Gender: Beyond Sexual Dimorphism in Culture and History. This thing is a massive doorstop of a book that collects academic journal articles on third gender roles from various cultures. I was obsessed with this thing. Again, it’s academic journal articles, not popular nonfiction, so expect that level of impenetrable prose.

I was also a giant weeb, so I read a bunch of books on the history of gay sex in Japan. It’s pretty interesting how much people assume the “m/m sex = sin” shit was worldwide and how much it just was not.

In terms of fiction, I’ve always struggled to find f/f media I relate to. I really like the tv adaptations of Fingersmith and Tipping the Velvet. Lots of fucked up problematicness and gorgeous visuals. Gotta love the lady with the strap-on and the gold body paint!

For other queer media, I was a big fan of Velvet Goldmine and of Pedro Almodóvar’s older films, which are full of every problematic kink you can think of. They also have a lot of het I like, like the lady being coerced into sex (that she enjoys) by the drag queen who impersonates her famous mother she has a lot of mommy issues about... except said drag queen is really an undercover police officer. Just... whut. (All the “straight” stuff in Almodóvar’s films is also bugfuck nuts and often kind of queer.)

I really, really, really loved Crash. Not the shitty one that won an oscar: the car crash perverts one full of weird UST. There’s a ton of straight sex in this too, along with every gender combo and a laundry list of upsetting kinks. It’s just every kind of weird perv thing. (”Weird art film full of sex and problematicness” is pretty much the defining feature of movies I liked as a teen. I loved Kissed, that het necrophilia movie too.)

Stage Beauty is probably my favorite film for bi vibes. It’s this meditation on identity as the English stage was changing over from having men play women to having actual actresses. It ends in f/m, but it’s definitely a very queer film.

If you want slice of life stuff, I guess you could try Dykes to Watch Out For (the comic that’s the source of the bechdel test) or the Tales of the City novel series. These will both give you a sense of what was going on in certain queer communities in the late 20thC. If you want something relatively fluffy, Maurice is a historical costume drama with a happy ending. I found it awfully slow as a college student, but it does have naked Rupert Graves (Lestrade from Sherlock), so...

----

See, this is hard to answer because I came of age and did all of my reading of that kind a long time ago. I pretty quickly moved on to fangirl media, which I have always liked a lot better than other arguably queer stuff. Back in the 90s, that meant Japanese stuff and fic. Later, I had access to more flavors of by-fujoshi-for-fujoshi media.

So my actual favorite m/m books are a bunch of “m/m romance” (i.e. American BL being sold as ebooks on amazon). If you want live action TV and fandomy vibes, you’re better off with Trapped (hot cop/mobster action!) or one of those Thai series about schoolboys or something than stuff made by cis gay men in the US.

I also came of age in an era when “queer” media was very Cis Gay Men And Sometimes Cis Lesbians with an occasional nod to bi people existing... maybe. Kate Bornstein and a few others were raising the profile of MtF transsexuals (the term in use at the time) who wanted surgery or even, gasp, maybe didn’t want bottom surgery in some cases. Anything about FtMs or nb/agender/etc. identities was practically invisible. I saw the term ‘genderqueer’ around a bit, but it was mostly in contexts that were very tryhard and unappealing to me.

(You haven’t given any details, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess you’re like much of tumblr and the flavors of queerness you relate to aren’t so much the Cis Gay Men Only culture that makes up quite a bit of queer history and older queer media.)

I can tell you what I liked as a teen, but not everybody is into fucked up art films that may not have happy endings. I can try to rec things about queer culture in the 90s, but I probably don’t have great recs for way earlier or later than that... unless it’s so much earlier that I’ve researched it while writing fic of some historical canon or other. A lot of how I learned about queer culture myself was from magazines or from reading soc.bi on usenet or just from living through the 90s--not typically from books that are easy to unearth and just hand to someone now.

I tend to just not like anything in the contemporary romance or slice of life genres, regardless of gender and orientation, so while I’ve watched/read a bit more queer stuff like this, especially in the past when I had less access to queer media, it’s not a space I’m great at reccing in. And that’s unfortunate because a lot of that type of art gives you a better sense of what other queer people were like in other eras and/or it’s a safer rec than some bananas crazy BDSM film.

I was, and am, very kinky (though pretty lazy in terms of actual practice), so a lot of my reading and media interest was bound up in that also. Obviously, I was quite interested in the drawings of Tom of Finland or the photography of Robert Mapplethorpe, but are you going to be into photos of some guy shoving a whip handle in his ass? I love the movie Cruising... it’s about serial killers and leather and homophobia and is every bit as potentially traumatizing as that sounds.

I feel you on the problem of finding queer elders. There isn’t really an obvious way to go about this.

#queer history #queer media #Anonymous

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i-did · 3 years

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hi mlm here. so i want to write andreil smut but im a virgin so i have no idea what exactly sex is like. but i do not want to write it for the.... straight women gaze. what are some things that are accurate to write about. this is prolly super nsfw but i dont know who to ask.

Okay so this response took me literally months, and I'm sorry about that. I honestly was so excited when I got this question. I don't know why I put off responding?? But here I go:

CW for discussion of NSFW, STD’s, and a lil homophobia

I bet a lot of people who write smut are virgins tbh, that's not to insult anyone or anything, but like writing is a non physical way to explore sex and fantasies by yourself, so you’re definitely not alone lol.

So you're MLM and want to write smut, (and others who want to get my opinions on writing non-fetishistic smut).

Porn is porn and can have unrealistic circumstances to fulfill said fantasy, such as anything from people messing around in locker rooms to tentacles.

To get a general sense of what is common in MLM sexuality, (rather than the typical feminine gaze that is seen in smut) looking at gay porn and gay porn categories is good insight.

Bear culture, muscle culture, leather culture, etc.

These are obviously still porn and unrealistic, however being attracted to sweat, jockstraps, and muscles is very common outside of porn.

Bear culture is a body-positive movement that started because of the gay community's fat-phobia, age-phobia, and overall shittyness about body hair.

Leather culture is also really big, it started because of the belief that gay men couldn’t be dominant or “masculine”, even in bed. So in America, leather culture was a way a lot of MLM embraced themselves.

Going to pride, you will see many men wearing those leather harnesses, it doesn't indicate a preference of topping or bottoming necessarily, they're just something mlm wear and has grown quite popular in the culture, I've known some men to say it feels like a security blanket for them.

And I think it’s very important to understand these cultures or at least be aware of them on a base level if you’re going to write gay porn.

Also looking at erotic MLM art made by men, there is Tom of Finland, who was very historically significant, and is the most famous erotic gay artist. There is gay literature, one that openly talks about sex quite frankly is the book “We Both Laughed In Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan” which is a series of diary excerpts from a real gay trans man where you follow his life up until he died during the aids epidemic. He talks about sex with partners and discovering himself as well as what being a gay man means to him. He has a real love for sex in a way that is very unashamed and interesting to read about. We know that he wrote the latter half of his diaries with the plan of compiling them and publishing them but he passed away and people in his life carried out this wish for him. He is considered a significant part of gay and transgender history because of this, and his diaries are in LGBT museums.

Reading gay poetry, looking at gay art, erotic, romantic, grungy, whatever, and you will find and see how they portray things differently than when it’s not portrayed by gay men usually. I mean there is a clear difference between yaoi and bara and that's the audience and authors. Some yaoi are made by MLM, (well technically their called gei comi, or gay comics in Japanese)

“Also known as ‘gei comi’ or ‘men's love,’ bara comics are by men, for men. There is a yaoi equivalent to this, and it is called ‘gachi muchi’-- it is written by women, for women.” – myanimelist.net (lol)

but more than 90% aren't. I haven't ever heard of a non-MLM bara artist, but I'm sure there's at least one.

Of course, I've seen things depicting MLM just together pretty realistically that didn't feel like it was written by someone who definitely wasn't MLM, but these scenes tend to be more writing in the general sense of art in the general sense rather than porn, which has a huge gap in characteristics between stuff usually written by MLM vs when it's written by women. (sorry about the binary language here)

I know some people don't like any realism in their porn, but I personally really like small details such as prep being mentioned, foreplay, even acknowledgment of the existence of condoms even if they choose to go without.

Especially as an MLM who lives in America currently, the ever-present acknowledgment and stigmatism of AIDS is around us. We think about it, even when we don't want to. An entire generation of MLM, trans people, and a lot of POC were wiped out. Not necessarily a PWP detail, but including discussion of prep, PrEP (the anti HIV medication) and/or getting tested, even for diseases besides HIV, is a small detail that I think is nice. MLM often have to have a moment when opening up a conversation about sex where HIV is mentioned, our dating apps and hook up apps have sections where you put positive, negative, non-transmissible/undetectable, or prefer not to say. The books take place in 2006 so PrEP didn't exist yet, but also the aids pandemic was happening when they were being born and as young kids, so it wasn't that long ago in society's mind. It's still illegal for many trans people and MLM to donate blood despite that the blood is screened for diseases after donation.

Also, some realism I like is when a character isn't getting their ass ate first in the morning. Like, for me that's a huge turn-off because I think “holy fuck hygiene.” specifically with anal play I just really think even casually mentioning “washing up” or basic prep, or if you want more accuracy/details mention time between last meals or “x only ate a salad, so he would be fine”. It's like a joke in the gay community to eat chili fries or some shit on a date to indicate that either there will be no anal, or if there is you’re not going to be the one to do it, because you just fuckin ate those fries to say so.

A cock just going in without prep and no condom is going to A) hurt very bad the body does not do that naturally and can cause injury B) get shit dick.

An also not sexy detail that is common for sex is just laying down a towel so you don’t have to wash sheets. Lube on hands? Wipe off on the towel that you’re on rn. Laying down a towel is pretty normal especially for anal. But this is if you’re going for a much more playing for accuracy sex scene.

Honestly just writing fingering and prep and stuff like that in my opinion goes a long way and also gives the audience more to read.

Also, sex is way more than peen in hole. Get creative, frottage, mutual masturbation, docking? Idk like thigh fucking, fucking buttcheeks but not hole, handies, blowies, anal oral, Neil doesn’t have to be the only one who gets his ass ate and things don’t have to follow formulas, in fact, they’re better when they don’t.

Sex comes in many forms, and like I’ve definitely been with someone and he took off his shirt and I was like what, because he was skinny and clean-shaven and I didn’t expect him to have nearly as much chest hair as he did. I bet honestly Neil has a massive bush, like fuckin, massive.

Andrew and Neil don’t have to like everything the same amount, Neil could be like “I wanna lick your armpit” and gets really off on it, Andrew is neutral but likes that Neil likes it and agrees even if it does nothing for him physically. Honestly, Neil having a sweat kink imo is pretty fitting lol.

Try not to categorize the characters into “the bottom” and “the top”, or “the man” and “the woman”

This is something I see a lot and pay attention to how “the bottom” tends to adopt traits that are seen in straight porn that are over-exaggerated. I’m not saying it's inherently wrong to write someone as slim, but we know Neil isn't delicate, but I personally wouldn't categorize him as slim. He's a college-level athlete and is definitely muscular and defined, he has some bulk at least, he isn’t model lean for sure imo. You also often see PWP where the bottom makes a bunch of noise and the top makes none, or the top grunts and the bottom mewls, these are things I personally feel gives the bottom the role of a woman in porn. I don’t think Andreil have rough sex necessarily, but I do think when Neil does make noise, it would be because it was practically punched out of him by the feeling, and would sound more like a gasp than a kitten or whatever. There's nothing wrong with writing them both grunting, both of their voices being lower. Someone bottoming doesn’t suddenly magically not have secondary sex characteristics and stubble and body hair or a deep voice or however, they’re like everywhere else.

When I read an over-emphasis on Neil’s slim waist and swaying hips and ass I’m like,,, okay someone please mention Andrew looking at Neil’s dick or bulge or shoulders. As an MLM, what do you find hot about men? I like stomachs and arms and shoulders, jawlines, collarbones, asses yes but like in a different way than how I like women’s asses (I’m bi lol) they are smaller and I like them muscled and squared almost. I look at veins on hands and noses and shoulders and backs, I look at a lot and I honestly don't have a type. But yeah so think about what you like, why you like it, what you might want. Or look at what others like, and why and how they want and like it.

what would Neil like, how would he feel about it? And Andrew. I kinda feel like Andrew is low-key masc 4 masc but that's just me lmaoo. Anyways, good luck writing.

#aftg #ask #fandom psychology #fandom culture #osha violation #mailob

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