#on being a positive force

[akindplace]

To anyone who uses the unkindness of others as fuel for them to strive harder to be kind, as you hope to become someone you wished you had by your side when you were struggling, I hope you know you are a positive force in this world, and that this shines in so many ways. Please do something kind for you today too, for the younger version of you who would be so proud of who they become, because you persevered and rose above the indifference of others.

#on being a positive force #on being human #positivity #self-worth #on kindness #reminder #original writing

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd) #because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

[clowndensation]

thinking about connor in prague saying "dad's theory was you got two fighting dogs, you send the weak one away, you punish the weak one." in relation to this episode, and the way the siblings view abuse inside their own family.

shiv and kendall and their belief that connor and roman are the weak dogs that got the brunt of logan's worst behavior, because abuse is reserved for the kids who can't behave - the ones who aren't smart and mature enough to make it in the world. abuse evokes pity, because abuse is what happens when you expect too much from people who obviously aren't capable of more.

and then they go forward in life, believing that they're just naturally more intelligent and more capable than connor and roman, as if being raised seeing what happens to you if you aren't a perfect child wasn't the entire point of the "punish the weak dog" mentality that logan instilled in them. the looming threat implied behind any praise they do receive that tacitly tells them "you're not like roman and connor" because everyone knows what happens to roman and connor.

the absolute height of the rich capitalist mindset. "we're succeeding because of our own merit, and other people fail because they don't have what it takes" when in reality they're succeeding because of arbitrary rules made up by someone who knows that infighting makes meaner dogs.

#he's literally putting them in a position where admitting that he abused them #forces them to admit that they're 'weak dogs' just like roman and connor #and that's SO antithetical to their own image of themselves that it would destabilize their entire worldview to admit that #and so they're stuck in this state of being able to admit that their dad IS abusive and he IS an asshole #but are absolutely unable to view themselves as receiving of that abuse #because being abused means being a victim. and victims are weak people who get fucked over. #and if they're weak people than how are they ever going to beat their dad? #they're so wrapped up in the worldview logan raised them in that they're completely unable to see #that he's set them up in a game they can't win #you can't heal from abuse if you can't admit that the things that happened to you were abuse in the first place #succession #also you may be asking 'vinnie didn't you make a post just like this last night' #and the answer is yes. but i'm still thinking about it. so.

[obisamya]

DANI ROJAS & JAN MAAS Ted Lasso (2020-2023)

#ted lasso #tedlassoedit #tedlassosource #dani rojas #jan maas #cristo fernández #david elsendoorn #gifs. #they're literally best friends look at them #numbers right next to each other... no nonsense tall guy + silly smiley shorter guy... realist + idealist... #unstoppable force (jan's honesty & inability to read a room) vs immovable object (dani's positivity & inability to read a room) #in the first ep of s3 when they're talking about richmond being placed last on everyone's predictions for the season or smth: #jan spitting out statistics about relegations that no one wants to hear + dani's 'maybe they're trying to motivate us!' #the inability to read a room but on opposite ends of the spectrum is something that can be so personal ......

[waterghostype]

shit postings

#ninjago #kai smith #cole brookstone #zane julien #jay walker #jaya #ninjago jaya #kai ninjago #aphid’s ninjashits #im sure this has been done but ive had this idea for so long #also i just realized i messed up kais scar position in the first drawng #oops! #he was forced to acknowledge the rebooted love triangle #imo the love triangle sucks total ass but it’s also like peak comedy in a meta way #like yeah misogyny and badly wirtten romance but i’s so absurdly stupid you cant help but laugh #also looking at the comment section for the jay kai fight gave me brain damage omg #like ok i have problems with the way kai was treated in regards to nyas seaboundification #but ppl keep acting like jay shouldnt have cared as much as he did which is ??? dude #AITA for being sad my fiance turned into the ocean #but dragons rising fixed that for me mostly #another reason why dr ON TOP!!!!! #and jay’s characterization in recent seasons is definitely really just mmmm #but his reaction to nya’s leaving made sense and i wish it was explored more but whatever #crystalized is crystalized

[uncanny-tranny]

Good news! You aren't required to make your hobbies and passions "marketable." In fact, your crafts, hobbies, and passions don't even need to be public if you so choose. You don't have to spend all of your energy becoming perfect if you aren't enjoying the process. You are not a product, you are a person, a creative, and your work also does not need to be a product.

#positivity #yet another post that's like... thinnly-veiled as being for myself #i find myself freezing with anxiety when i think about the things i used to do (writing especially) because... #...i had felt this force to make it ~content~ and ~marketable to an audience~ and it was so fucking daunting... #...it felt like being a gladiator in a coliseum #even now i fight the urge to equate being marketable to being acceptable and worthy of admiration and praise #i wish i hadn't burnt myself out of writing by doing this because i'm simultaneously grieving my writing and hating it #and it sucks the life out of what makes you feel like a person and it takes the art out of art #so be free! pist your art or don't! you are beholden to nobody!!! #(obviously this is not the case for professional artists who rely on their art to keep them alive) #(and i criticize heavily the idea that audiences are entitled to an artists labour) #(i understand that this isn't universal and if it doesn't apply to you then you don't have to take me seriously) #(if you are a professional artist or what have you i hope you are able to feed and house yourself off of that career!) #(i hope you are able to live a happy life and be able to keep loving what you're doing)

[ffiveseasons]

I’ve been out of the Hazbin/Helluva fandom for a while now, (although I still lurk) but wanted to post this bc the implication that all of the overlords have to occasionally get together to have, like, group meetings and shit is so funny. Like, these hoes all have to sit at a table and act like everything’s all peachy-keen and talk about the weather like they don’t try to kill each other every year for territory lmao. Like, Alastor and Velvette being in the same room and probably having to brainstorm ways to keep the Exterminators away is fucking hysterical. It’s like when you were in high school and got paired up with your mutual frenemies to make a group presentation.

#OH OH BTW I am POSITIVE that they all do that awkward #‘we-don’t-get-along-but-are-being-forced-to-interact-so-I’m-going-to-make-my-face-expressionless-and-talk-in-a-bland-monotone-voice’ #thing that people do when they see someone they don’t like at a party #Hazbin Hotel #Hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #Helluva Boss #velvette #Valentino hazbin hotel #Vox hazbin hotel #Charlie Morningstar #Cherri bomb #Vaggie hazbin hotel #vaggie #Husk hazbin hotel

[canisalbus]

To me, Machete kind of has the energy of a secondary villain/coldhearted side character in someone else's story that a lot of fans latch onto, moreso than the protagonist. Question is, would he be the villain in anyone's story?

Why, thank you! I'm actually glad to hear he gives off that vibe. I don't think he set out to become a villain but a lot of people certainly view him as one.

#in the 16th century canon he starts out as an introverted but sincerely well meaning guy that never quite manages to find his social niche #he was a sensitive kid and when subjected to enough pressure #his insecurity fearfulness and powerlessness mutate into distrust resentment aggression suffocating repression and self-restraint #I don't think he's a bad person in fact he consistently tries very hard to do the right thing #do his job properly avoid letting people down and get through life with a sense of dignity #but he is supposed to come across kind of cold impersonable and difficult to be around if you don't know him personally (and very few do) #people can sense there's something wrong with him and are put off by it #Vatican is a nest of vipers and as the stakes rise he retreats deeper into his coldblooded untouchable work persona #he has no choice but to start lying scheming blackmailing and eliminating his enemies #in order to maintain his position keep Vasco safe their relationship under wraps and his own head above water #essentially playing by the same rules everyone else in the holy see has been playing with for centuries #eventually he loses his spot as the secretary of state and is manipulated/forced to take on a role in the roman inquisition #and if people were sort of iffy about him before being the authority overseeing trials torture excommunications and executions doesn't help #and since he has so few allies and such an infamous reputation he's an easy target for scapegoating whenever necessary #towards the end it dawns on him that he's become the kind of twisted cruel corrupt person he used to fear and despise #and the guilt moral injury and abject self-loathing had largely sapped him of his will to live by the time the final assassin gets him #answered #anonymous #Machete #Vaschete lore #he thought his dream of priesthood would make him a better person more worthy of admiration safety and love but he climbed too high #and got roped up in the dangerous games that take place under god's nose and slowly got strangled to death

[sergle]

what I was talking abt earlier. we have fully looped back around and away from feminism, societally, whereas before it was very Feminism 101 to acknowledge that many parts of existing as a woman in a misogynistic society are painful and upsetting. not that being a woman is Inherently Negative in a bubble. but that living on this earth, in the conditions we're living in, is hostile to women. and that gender is a performance. that many of the Staples Of Femininity as accepted by society are things that you have to create and perform and mold artificially and aren't inherent, that COMPLAINING about day to day difficulties of existing as a woman is something that you're allowed to do. acknowledging these basic, again, feminism 101 things, that something tied to womanhood is more time consuming or more expensive or more dangerous Because Of The Problems. does not CREATE the problems. that when women complain about having to perform femininity, they are not, in fact, oppressing themselves. the call does not come from inside the fucking house. saying that you HAVE suffered does not fucking equate that you believe you SHOULD have suffered.

like I could talk about this for hours. how braindead and one-dimensional the Takes are getting. "being a woman is looking in the mirror and going fuck yeah i'm a woman" damn. I guess any negative experiences you have by living in a misogynistic world... are your fault if you are anything but positive? "you don't actually want liberation" we've fully gone back to telling feminists "you WANT to be oppressed" when anything negative about our society is pointed out. it's not real until I say it out loud, I guess, and then I'm actually the one who caused it. if anybody expresses any unhappiness with how they're treated or the status quo or the language and culture surrounding womanhood and femininity. they've created it, right that second. they invented it just now. it wasn't a problem before somebody complained, right? also trans women aren't braindead zombies who just follow the flow of whatever cis women around them say. I am pretty fucking sure they are very much aware of pain, and are MORE than aware of the swirling torrent of misogyny and standards of femininity than anybody else. actually. and I am pretty sure someone complaining on tumblr that being a woman means always putting on a performance is going to make someone change their mind about transitioning. also "performing femininity" as a necessity to being treated well as a woman is not fucking NEWS to your Local Trans Woman. I AM PRETTY SURE SHE GETS THE CONCEPT. using trans women as a scapegoat for this braindead perspective on gender politics is spineless, meritless, and pathetic.

#how I feel about my gender is not the same as how I feel about the living conditions of my gender #when I saw that post I screenshotted here I literally sat w my mouth open for a minute #sent it to my friends and was like am I fucking crazy. is this what we're doing now #Forced Positivity and that there is no war in ba sing se and actually #you're ruining children's lives if you complain about misogyny on twitter #I don't HAVE to tell little girls about the downsides because they are already being mistreated #before they have even heard the word 'misogyny' let alone know what it means #you do not have to be fucking happy all the time about the cards you're dealt. #you don't live in a bubble where it's just you and your mirror and your pretty dress and nothing bad has ever happened to you #unfortunately bitch. we will have negative experiences that are in fact. part of the package of being a woman #and IGNORING them doesn't make them not exist. actually they will continue to remain status quo unless acknowledged #sergle.txt #I see so much rhetoric that is JUST old-fashioned gender ideals being presented with liberal language on tiktok #that is just telling women that womanhood is just being a girllll and loving pretty things and being kind and gentleeeee and nurturing #and not working and just like being wholesome and being happy and being a light in ppl's lives and just LOVING LOVING LOVING being a woman #so if for even one second. you don't love it. you are actually failing at being a woman #if you complain about the standards for shaving or putting on makeup. which used to be Baby's First Feminism online #that's actually just you creating problems. you're not supposed to acknowledge it. you're supposed to shut up and smile into the mirror.

[blorb-el]

fellas is it gay to orient the universe around your best friend. is it gay to take his suffering into yourself because you can’t bear to lose him. is it gay to save him even though you know he wouldn’t want that because for once in your god damn life you’re choosing to be selfish. is it gay to need him that much. is it gay to see how the stars reshape themselves into his form. is it gay to point out how he’s infinitely more than his worst enemy... is it gay for your love and respect for him to be what saves the fucking universe.................

#superbat #i bullied jan into reading emperor joker and im in the feels about it again #thinking about bruce curled up into fetal position teeth clenched SHAKING hahahhaa #thinking about how the end is either a sunset or a sunrise and clark forces it into being a sunrise....... #thinking about the loop of horror and pain clark goes through at the beginning... #i am lying down like a victorian #thinking about clark helplessly forced to listen to bruce being TORN APART AND EATEN ALIVE NOT TWO FEET AWAY FROM HIM.......

[my-star-war-sblog]

Ever thought about how some parents would have prayed for their children to be born force-sensetive.

I'm talking about the poorest of the poor. The slaves, the beggars, the people who just so scrapped by. To them the life of a Jedi must've been one of luxury.

Their child being a Jedi would mean that their child would grow up on the high levels of Coruscant. It meant their child would never have to go hungry or would have to be cold. It would mean that their child would enjoy one of the best edjucations their galaxy had to offer.

It would mean their child had a future.

And ofcourse the parents knew that they'd never see their baby again if they choose to give them up to the Jedi. But it was a small price to pay for the live they could give them.

Your child being a Jedi must've been a dream come true for any loving parent who wasn't blessed with even the smallest of riches.

#star wars #jedi positive #maybe there were special rituals parents would do in hopes of it ensuring their child being force sensitive #and even thought they probably wouldn't a work the parents would still do them #because they love their kid #and they know the Jedi could offer them more than they ever could

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it #i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition #but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body #not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways #but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth #valuing and exploring and treasuring #i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible #but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body? #it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head #and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude #this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example #like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than #violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body #to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities #like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia #so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you #even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by #what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems #Casey Plett #she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her #this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger #i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial #she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies #that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era #it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it #i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience #said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip #personal nonsense

[foundfamilynonsense]

Y’know. Anakin was a real asshole in Ahsoka’s hallucination.

Like. She mentions something about what she’ll be able to teach her padawan one day, since all she’s being taught is how to be a soldier, and Anakin’s like “teaching’s not all it’s cracked up to be”

And like. Asshole move. And Ahsoka rightfully calls him out on it. And he goes on the whole “uuuh I was joking. Lighten up.” Literally a complete jackass.

But beyond how he answered the question, it’s a valid complaint Ahsoka is bringing up! Anakin’s teaching her how to live or die. But Ahsoka wants to be taught how to be a jedi.

What happens after the war is over (order 66 never happens) and she now has to navigate a galaxy without a war? The Jedi take teaching very seriously there’s no greater honor than teaching a padawan. And she’s not being accurately taught, so she will not be able to pass anything on to the next generation.

But Anakin brushes it aside because he simply does not respect her or her wishes. Like. He never wanted a padawan, despite teaching being foundational to the Jedi. And he only took ahsoka in because he started to like her and became attached to her. He doesn’t care about jedi legacy, not really. So he brushes her comment off with a joke.

But in the rest of the vision… idk it didn’t feel like we were supposed view Anakin as entirely wrong here. He wasn’t in the right, he was definitely channeling Vader and being an ass, but he was basically the reason Ahsoka survived the fall, right? Bc he was making her choose life? When Ahsoka wins against him it’s sort of like she’s both learned his lesson and moved beyond him. And then for the rest of the season he’s only talked about in positive ways.

And like. That one line ahsoka said was really powerful in relation to the entire point of the show. What does she have to pass onto her own padawan (Sabine) if she wasn’t properly trained herself? That is, perhaps, the only valid plot question asked in the entire show. And it doesn’t get an answer. It’s never even brought up again.

#I have now learned Dave filoni wrote the entire series #so I am able to say now with absolute positivity that he’s a shit writer #I had been blaming the issues that the writers went on strike for #but no it’s just filoni being a terrible writer I guess? #I mean. none of the character issues are ever really resolved #we have no reason to believe ahsoka is ready to be a master now #we have no real understanding of WHY Sabine unlocked her force powers and shit (not how it works but whatever) #Sabine never learns her lesson about letting thrawn come back #Ahsoka doesn’t get anything really resolved with Anakin #she just acts like he was never Vader and that he was a great master #when we SEE in her vision he was not #idk it’s like every character plot point was dropped #nothing happened in the first half of the show #the dark side girl had a half rebellion but we got no emotion or background from her #it was just… a pointless show #nothing was accomplished #star wars #anti ahsoka #anti anakin skywalker

[tswwwit]

I want a bill whump so bad, if dipper falls in love with bill every time he reincarnates but hes also a little bit different in every reincarnation, could there be one where hes almost entirely replused by bill, or already in love with someone else?

We all love to see that terrible little man struggling! Typically hurting Bill is accomplished via Dipper-death, but this is a neat alternate scenario. You know he's definitely going to start out totally full of himself! Winning his husband back should be easy! Until he realizes he has no idea how he did it in the first place.

#answers #To really squeeze the good Angst Juice from a ripe Cipher you gotta put him in a position where he's helpless *despite* being so powerful #Killing Dipper off is a classic; Bill's got a lot of skills but full-on resurrection is outta his wheelhouse #The 'not in love' scenario offers another route that would be fun #One neat part of Bill is his lack of introspection #Sure of course Dipper fell for him! Why wouldn't he! He's great! #It's only when *forced* to look over the situation that Bill has to face facts: He didn't do that on purpose #No manipulation; no clever trick. Not something he can just *repeat* easily #He's gonna be REAL unhappy with trying to get THAT going around again #Of course it ends with him finally winning Dipper over once he STOPS trying to manipulate him into it #For that full-circle narrative #Which is a Good Ending for Bill! But leaves him with the lingering 'what the fuck' of STILL not knowing how he got it done #That's gonna bug you for ages now isn't it Bill

[joseigamer]

Patalliro! is fascinating to me because of stuff like this. It's unapologetically gay - even within its anime which aired during primetime hours in 1982 - in a way that many later BL manga would never be, like the ones from the early 2000s which would never dare to call their characters actual homosexuals. Patalliro has actually aged quite well in this regard, there's something comforting about how campy it is.

#i still dont really understand how they got away with this kind of thing honestly #female VAs i get that - but first m/m kiss in an anime in episode THREE????? #theres also the maraich/thomas episode where they are *Both* voiced by women....advanced yuri #patalliro #i love how bancorans gender expression is pretty much explicitly to attract only bishounen #you blushed - so you must not be a girl #etc #i also love how joyful it all is #theres never anything sad or tragic about being gay - only that bancoran is forced to kill the bishounen spies/assassins/etc #when bancoran finds out that gay sex feels good after demian; in the manga he is elated. its basically a positive thing #he awakens to his true power...lol #also notable is that while bishounen youth is glorified maraich is still 18. #besides making the show more palatable; this means it portrays being gay as an adult as normal #according to the NYT japan's psychiatric body called homosexuality a mental illness until 1995 #im not going to say patalliro changed that or anything lmao but its just significant to me that banmara get to live their lives happily #especially contrasting that with kaze to ki no uta and other manga of the time (no shade intended) #yaoi #<- for tagging purposes #obviously it also got away with a lot by being a gag manga. but still! #months later edit: want to say im not intending to moralize BL manga from the 2000s either. like gen. no hate on them. #as a gay person i just appreciate when characters who act gay are considered gay textually #and its kind of disheartening how gay-as-identity was treated as something incredulous in those manga a lot of the time #even the mere suggestion of attraction to men as a whole and not just the other male lead...yknow

[daily-hanamura]

#hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #p4au #p4 #persona 4 arena ultimax #persona 4 #narukami yu #souyo #this scene makes me chew glass (positive) because AGAIN. #it reflects Yosuke's unwillingness to trouble others and how he would rather take on the problem himself #(and it's also so hypocritical of him because hes all about not letting others do things by themselves lol) #but again i also like having yu's perspective here because again it shows how yosuke is understood #iirc shortly before (or after) this calll yosuke had just been talking to chie and yukiko as well and trying to cheer them up #and yu's perspective acknowledges that kind of consideration yosuke has for others #i think the feeling of being known is one of the most intimate there is and here its just ... out on display in full force.... i love it sm #i swear this blog isn't going to become a souyo centric blog i just have a strong bias lol #he's good with his queue