#one of my coworkers used to eat onions | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skzfictions · 1 year

Text

Not "Little Innie" Anymore (A Yang Jeongin Fic)

♡Summary: When it comes to dating, you and your best friend have a regular routine: whenever they have a bad date, you rescue them, and whenever you have a bad date, they rescue you. So, why is it that when you send them a text asking for their help on the night of a particularly bad date, they send their little baby brother, Jeongin, to come to your rescue, instead?

♡Genre: Cute, Fluff, Comedy, Cliché, Your Best Friend's Brother is Hot, Age Difference

☆Reader is 2 yrs older than I.N.

♡Pairing: Yang Jeongin X Older GN! Reader

♡Word Count: 3K

♡A/N: Time for some I.N. appreciation! I wrote this based on Stray Kid's duality on and off stage. Out of all the members, I.N's duality puzzles me the most. 🤔

Sorry Y/N but I can't come pick you up tonight. I ended up catching a really bad cold and can't even get out of bed! 😔 But don't worry. I told my brother about your bad date and he volunteered to come rescue you this time! 😉 He'll be there in twenty minutes, okay?

You sighed as you reread the text message you had received from your best friend about fifteen minutes ago. Currently, you were hiding in the bathroom stall of the restaurant your date had taken you to for the night. It had already been about ten minutes since you had left them at the table on their own, claiming that you desperately needed to use the restroom. Eventually, you knew they were going to get suspicious if you didn’t go back to the table soon.

But you weren’t going back. No way!

Not after the way they had acted that night. In fact, you bet they were still out there yelling about how the waiter had messed up their order, when in reality it was your date’s fault and not the waiter’s. After all, it wasn’t the waiter’s fault that your date forgot to specify that they were allergic to mushrooms and onions, but they had made a big deal out of it, blaming the waiter thus, causing a scene. The manager had to be called and everyone else at the restaurant were staring at you two, and it was all just a big mess.

See, you were currently on a blind date that a coworker of yours had set you up on and to say it was going terribly would be an understatement. Literally, ever since your date picked you up that Friday night, they had gone out of their way to show you just how awful an excuse of a human being they were like it was practically their job to be a jerk.

First, when they had come to pick you up that night, they didn’t even come to the right complex. They had parked down the street, at the next one over, so you had to walk down and look for their car by the license plate number they had texted you. Once you got in the car, they then proceeded to blame you for not being in the right spot. No seriously, there were no greetings, at all, they just went straight to blaming you for making them wait so long.

You should’ve known just by how terribly the beginning of the date had started that the rest of the date would only get worse. After all, if your date was already that bad after only a couple of minutes of knowing them while in that car together, how much worse would they be long term?

At first, your date had taken you to your favorite place to eat, which definitely would’ve cheered you up a bit, but because you both had no reservation, along with the fact that it was a Friday night, the restaurant was jam packed with a two-and-a-half hour wait time. Therefore, you guys had to try to figure out another restaurant to go to.

Or, at least, you tried.

Turns out that your favorite restaurant was also your date's favorite spot to eat as well, but once it turned out you guys couldn't go because of the wait time, this turned their mood even more sour than it already was. As a result, they refused to help find another place to go, so you had to be the one to call around and see which local restaurants had the shortest wait time.

You finally found another place which was a little local eatery that you also enjoyed even though it wasn’t as fancy as the restaurant you and your date originally intended to go to. The eatery still had good food, though, and its vibe was much more laid back so, at least you guys could be comfortable.

It’s just too bad your date didn’t seem to think so…

Instead, they continued to be in a pissy mood for the entire dinner. In fact, you felt bad for the waiter. Your date was in such a bad mood that they took everything out on the waiter including their own food allergies!

Finally, you’d had enough. You had tried to stick it out and give your date a chance to show that maybe they weren’t as bad as they seemed, but you knew there was no way this date was going to get any better.

That’s when you had shot your best friend a text to come and get you.

You and your friend had to look out for each other, so in order to help one another out whenever either of you had a date that was going terribly, you both came up with a plan. All you had to do was send a text and the other would come pick the other up, no questions asked. You'd excuse yourself by telling your date that you had to go to the bathroom and then that's when you would ditch the date. Afterwards, you would ghost the person you had gone out on a date with.

It was a routine you and your best friend had mastered over the years and it worked. The pact had saved you both from having to sit through countless horrible dates. You had already told them earlier that week of your blind date so they knew to be on alert just in case you needed their help, but you hadn't expected them to get sick and based on what they told you it was pretty bad if they couldn't even get out of bed.

Concerned, you had asked them if they needed you to get them anything for their cold. You may have been upset by the fact that they couldn't get you and was instead sending their little brother to pick you up, but you were still concerned about them as well. If they needed anything, you could get them some supplies once their brother picked you up. But they declined the offer saying that their brother had already gotten them some things they needed and that he would be there to pick you up soon.

And so, it was during all the commotion your date had made with the restaurant staff that you had decided to sneak off to the restroom, claiming it an emergency. That was how you ended up where you are now. That is, hiding in a restroom stall. You just hoped that your best friend’s little brother would show up soon.

You paused for a moment as you mulled over the name that belonged to the little brother of your best friend.

Yang Jeongin, aka “Innie.”

Just the name brought a wave of nostalgia over you.

Although you were relieved that your best friend was still looking out for you by sending someone else in their place to come pick you up, you still couldn't believe they were sending their baby brother of all people. You hadn't seen Innie in about 5 years. The last time you had seen him was when he was 17 and you were 19. Because of this, you still pictured him as the same boy with a mouth full of braces and a dopey smile.

You and your best friend had been close since grade school, so you had literally grown up with both of them. You guys were only two years apart, but that was more than enough years to give you a bit of a seniority complex. Both you and your best friend used to treat Jeongin like he was a little baby which always got on his nerves.

In fact, when you guys were kids he used to cry whenever you and your best friend would leave him behind telling him he wasn't old enough to hang out with you guys. He also used to have the biggest crush on you when you were all teenagers. But you were 17 and he was 15 so you weren't looking his way. Then when you finally turned 18 and started seriously dating, you were definitely not looking his way.

The last time you had physically seen him was just before you and your friend moved out of state together for college. You specifically remembered him trying to act like he wouldn't miss you but it was pretty obvious that he would since you could’ve sworn you had seen his eyes glistening when you guys said goodbye.

Of course, that was a long time ago. Now you were 23 going on 24, so that meant Jeongin had to be 22 now. About a week ago, he had moved in with his older sibling so they could become roommates and therefore, split the rent to save money. You hadn't been over to their place yet though, so you had yet to see him. You had only seen a couple of pictures of Innie over the past couple years from your best friend but nothing as of recent. It made you wonder how he may have changed over the years…

Bzz…Bzz…

That was your phone vibrating indicating you had just received a text. It was from a number you didn't recognize.

Hi, y/n. This is Jeongin. I'm here at the restaurant. I'm out front in a black Jeep.

At that moment you could've jumped for joy. Even if it was your best friend's little bro, at least you were finally being rescued from this horrible date!

You texted Jeongin that you were coming out in a minute. There was a side door to the restaurant so you could sneak out that way instead of risking getting caught by your date by leaving through the front entrance doors.

You quickly left the restroom and made your way out through the side door.

Once outside, you walked around to the front of the restaurant and looked for the black Jeep Jeongin had said he was in. You spotted a black Jeep waiting in the front of the restaurant, and you knew it had to be Jeongin. You began to make your way over to the Jeep, but just before you reached it that's when you heard your name being yelled from behind you.

"Y/N!"

Uh-oh.

Instantly, you spun around and gasped once you saw your date standing outside the main entrance doors. Even in the darkness of the night, they were visibly angry.

They started storming after you in a heated rage. "Where do you think you're going?!"

Inwardly, you panicked not knowing how to explain. This is why you had gone out the side door!

"Uh…" you trailed as you tried to think of any excuse but your date cut you off.

"I thought you were taking too long in the bathroom…” your date spat out at, accusingly, as they marched up to you. “...so that's when I got up to go find you only to see you sneaking out that side door. What the hell? Were you seriously going to ditch me in the middle of our date and leave me hanging?"

You stood there struggling to come up with a believable excuse for leaving but you were so stunned by your date’s behavior your mind went blank, that is, until you heard another voice suddenly chime in on the conversation.

"Is there a problem, here?"

Instantly, your head shot in the direction from which you heard the voice but you had to do a double take once you saw the man that had climbed out of the black Jeep.

What the…

You knew it'd been a long time since you had last seen Jeongin, but if the man that had just climbed out of that Jeep was supposed to be the little brother of your best friend, then they had to be an imposter because he was definitely not the cute little “Innie” you had grown up with!

Whoever this man was now, was a completely different person altogether. Someone you weren’t even sure you knew.

The man was dressed head-to-toe in an all black get-up. Because of this, he practically blended in with the darkness of the night, making him seem rather ominous from where you were standing. Only his pale white skin is what made him visible through the darkness.

The young man that had stolen the attention of both you and your date, now slammed the door closed to his Jeep with such intensity it caused you to shiver in your skin.

He began walking up to both you and your date, slowly, and as he did the familiar features of his face became more visible to you. Like his sharp, fox-like eyes which you remembered always being one of Jeongin's trademark features.

Just from his eyes, alone, you knew this was, indeed, the boy you had grown up with.

However, you could tell he was pissed off. His sharp jawline was clenched tight, like he had to keep it clenched in order to keep from hurling out insults and his already sharp black eyes appeared even sharper, like slits, as he glared at your date beside you.

Jeongin stopped a few steps away from both you and your date. His eyes landed on you and you swallowed, nervously, at finally seeing him for the first time since he was just a teen.

"Y/N," he addressed you, first, rather tersely. His voice was a far cry from the high-pitched tone he used to have as a kid.

"Hi, Jeongin," you tried to reply coolly, even despite the feeling of your heart racing as if you had just run a mile.

He looked back and forth between you and your date like he was trying to gauge the situation in order to know which step to take next.

"Everything alright?" He asked you, his brows raising at you, questioningly.

You had opened your mouth to respond, but because you didn't know how to answer his query since technically your date hadn't done anything to you besides get mad for you ditching them, which was understandable, you ended up just staring at him without saying anything; however, this didn't matter because your date ended up beating you to the punch, anyways.

"Who the hell are you?" They spat at Jeongin and you had to gasp at how rude they were. This was why you just had to get away from this person.

But if Jeongin was offended by your date's rudeness, he gave no physical indication of being such. Instead, he had kept his focus on you, probably just as surprised to be seeing you after such a long time. Eventually, he turned his eyes on your date, them narrowing as he sized up your date beside you.

He then took one last glance at you before answering.

"I'm Y/N's boyfriend," he said bluntly before throwing your date's insulting inquiry right back at him. "Now who the hell are you?"

You stared at him shocked and you felt your cheeks burn in embarrassment as you bit back a sheepish smile.

Why did he say that? you wondered.

"Boyfriend?!" your date repeated, in disbelief, and you felt them turn accusatory eyes on you. "You didn't tell me you have a boyfriend."

That's because up until a minute ago you weren't aware you had one either.

You stared at Jeongin, unmoving, from shock but as he looked back at you, expectantly, like he was urging you to agree, it was then that you understood that this was him giving you a way out. You immediately took the bait.

"Uh, yes, I do," you agreed, even though it was a deadass lie, but your date didn't have to know that. "You see, my coworker actually set me up for this date but I didn't know it until she told me at the last minute, so I decided to go out with you at least once but it's true. I have a boyfriend already."

You then turned to Jeongin. "And when you found out you came to get me, right honey?"

At this, Jeongin's lips spread into an amused smirk and you knew he was inwardly laughing at you at having called him "honey."

"Yes, honey," he replied, slightly sarcastic and you were hoping your date wouldn't catch on to that.

You turned back to your date.

"So, I'm sorry about the misunderstanding," you told them as you started inching towards Jeongin until you were right beside him. "It wasn't cool of my friend to do this to either of us."

You hoped your date would believe you but as they stared back and forth between you and Jeongin, sizing you both up with suspicious eyes, you didn't have much hope that they did. This proved to be true when they finally said what was on their mind.

"Bullshit!" they exploded causing you to flinch. "I don't believe this!"

"What? Why not?" you asked, worriedly. "What's there not to believe? It's true."

You had thought your made up story was pretty believable but your date was having none of it.

"Oh really? Then prove it!" your date demanded, crossing their arms over their chest.

You stared at them in disbelief with your brows raised by their audacity to command you both to prove your relationship to them.

"W-what?" you asked in a panic. "Are you kidding me? We don't have to prove anything to you-"

"I beg to differ," they cut you off, curtly. "I was promised a hot date but so far this entire date has sucked, no thanks to you. Now all of a sudden you're telling me you have a boyfriend and that you're gonna leave so you two can go off together and leave me all alone? No way! I want proof."

You sighed feeling completely exhausted with your date now. You were seriously considering never going out with anyone again. You just wanted this entire night to be over already.

"Look-" you had started, but you were surprised to find yourself cut off by the man beside you.

"Fine," Jeongin snapped at your date causing you to stare at him incredulously but Jeongin kept his sharp eyes focused on your date. Boy, if looks could kill… "We'll prove it to you. But once we do you have to leave. Immediately."

Jeongin's voice was grave as he said his last word but your date just rolled their eyes.

"Yeah, fine. Whatever. Now prove it," they demanded again.

You seriously hoped your date was being paid for being a jerk because it made no sense for someone to be so awful like this.

As you stood there gaping at your date, you felt Jeongin turn to you, and it was then that you realized you two actually had to do something to prove you both were in a relationship.

You slowly turned to him as well, rather shyly. It's been a long time since you've seen Jeongin this closely. As you looked at him now you could clearly see the differences from his teenage self.

For one, he was a little taller. Not by much, but still, he had definitely grown a couple inches since you had seen him last.

His features were also much sharper than before. He now donned thick black brows that expanded over his black fox-like eyes. Just beneath his eyes lied an angular, pointed nose that lead down to a pair of full cherry colored lips. Also his skin was immaculate to a degree that almost made you envious.

Basically, Innie had grown up to be extremely handsome.

You also really liked his hair. It was the same color it has always been, jet black, but when you were kids, Jeongin always wore the typical short haircut all school boys did, however, he had let it grow out now.

It was slightly wavy, with parted bangs, the tips of them gracefully touching his brows. You suddenly felt an itch to brush them away with your fingers.

"Hey, Y/N," he said flashing you a now perfect smile, which you knew he had acquired from years of wearing those old braces from when he was a teen. They had definitely done their job. His smile was beautiful.

"Hi Innie," you said back and if it was possible, his smile got bigger once you said aloud his old nickname. Even though he was grown now, it was through his smile that you got a little glimpse at the boy you had known as a teen.

However, it disappeared once his smile started to fall as he started to become serious again.

"So I guess we have to prove we're in a relationship," he said and you had thought he was upset since he looked so serious, but once he followed his words with a playful nudge to your arm, you knew that was not the case. You smiled back at him.

"I guess we do," you said, nudging him back.

"How are we gonna do that?" he asked, still playful.

Truthfully, you had an idea but didn't want to say it, so you shrugged. "I don't know."

Under the parking lot lights that shined above in the night, you could see a playful light glimmer in Jeongin's dark eyes, which intrigued you. That's when he decided to tell you what was on his mind.

"I have an idea of how, but I need your permission to do it."

You felt your heart quicken in your chest even though you were standing still.

Was he thinking what you were thinking? You wondered.

"Um…o-okay?" You said unsurely, but still willing to trust him with whatever he wanted to do.

Jeongin nodded before momentarily glancing in the direction of your date, still standing on the sidelines, then back at you.

Your breath hitched once you saw him lift his hand towards you, only to feel him place it on the back of your neck. You felt your heart beat even faster when he followed that gesture by leaning closer to your ear.

"Follow my lead," he lowly whispered in your ear, and you gulped when he leaned back just before glancing down at your lips.

It was then that you knew he was definitely thinking what you were thinking.

You didn't have to wait long for him to pull you in for one searing, mind-blowing kiss.

Jeongin's plump lips meshed with yours, and at first it was slow and cautious like he was gauging how you would respond but in all your excitement, you eagerly lapped back at his lips which seemed to allow him to grow more confident.

In response, his lips gilded against yours, and his hand still cradling the back of your neck, rubbed it in a soothing manner. His other hand came to land on your hip, and you felt him pull you in close to him until there was barely enough space to slip even a piece of paper between you both.

You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss at the gesture.

Honestly, this was the best kiss of your life!

Head swirling, you were so caught up in the kiss you probably would've fallen and passed out had he not been holding you in place.

Funnily enough, you never got to see the look on your date's face, but you knew, without a doubt, that they were extremely upset because you suddenly heard them stomp off rather noisily, throwing a temper tantrum in all their rage.

In fact, until they had made a big fuss, you had honestly forgotten they were still there or that the reason why you were even kissing Jeongin in the first place was only for show.

That's when you and Jeongin abruptly broke away from each other as you watched your date storm off, yelling into their phone at who you assumed was your coworker that had set up your blind date.

You knew you were definitely going to get an earful from your coworker later on, but you weren't too concerned about that right now. Instead, both you and Jeongin looked at one another. One moment, you both were civil, and the next, you were both hunched over in fits of giggles at the hilarity of the entire situation.

Needless to say, you were definitely glad you were saved from that one. You didn't want to have to deal with anyone who had a temper like that. You both laughed it out until you both finally started to calm down. Thats when Jeongin turned back to you.

"So what were you doing going on a date with a loser like that anyway?"

Smiling, you looked away, embarrassed. "Oh, I met them through a coworker. It was a blind date they set up for me."

Jeongin shook his head. "I think your coworker hates you then."

You gave him a look, but now that you thought about it, maybe he was on to something.

"Shut up, Innie!" you teased as you followed him to the Jeep which he was now walking towards.

You laughed, and so did he. You two were already falling into your old patterns like old times. It's funny how no matter how much time goes by, with good old friends, it always feels like you only saw them yesterday.

"No, seriously, you need to slap that coworker for setting you up with a person that throws tantrums like a two year old kid," Jeongin said.

"Please, you're still a kid, Innie," you teased him back but stopped once Jeongin suddenly halted beside you.

When you turned to face him, he was staring at you, his face completely void of any emotion and for a second you thought you must have offended him, but then he took a step closer to you and stared you straight in the eye, challenging you.

"Oh really, Y/N? So, then you're saying you made out with a kid then?" He then placed his hands over his heart and pretended to gasp, feigning disgust. "How dirty, Y/N!"

You realized he was playing with you, and that's when you slapped him in the arm. "Shut up! I did not."

He laughed as he said, "Then admit that I'm a man now, Y/N."

"What?" You asked, a little embarrassed, even though you heard him clearly.

"You always teased me when we were kids and told me I was too young," Jeongin explained, and you smiled down at your feet, knowing what he was saying was true. "Now admit you see me as a man."

Your mind thought back to just a mere few minutes before when you and Jeongin were locked at the lips.

After that kiss? You thought to yourself. Hell yeah, he's definitely a man now!

You then looked up at him.

"Tell you what?" You said to him, "Since my other date left me, I'm actually in need of another one. If you continue this date with me, you can show me just how much of a man you've become."

Jeongin's eyebrows raised, and he smirked as he thought about it. He then held out his arm to you for you to link your own with his and said, "It's a date."

Smiling, you linked yours with his as you guys headed for the car.

You really did have the greatest friend in the world because even while sick, they still managed to save you from a disaster date. Turns out it wasn't so bad sending their little brother to pick you up after all.

#skz #stray kids x reader #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids #stray kids yang jeongin #stray kids i.n #stray kids x y/n #yang jeongin #baby bread #loaf of bread

171 notes · View notes

jabbage · 11 months

Text

I keep seeing a post floating around from an aspec person saying how they'd been made to feel monstrous and broken and wrong.

I went through those feelings in my teens and twenties and had some really dark times. I think that society gives us such limited views of what happiness and success look like, and it can be crushing. If you're someone who knows you're not going to pair off or get married or have kids, it's hard to know what a happy domesticity looks like?

I'm in my early 30s now, and I'm so contented with my life. I thought I'd share a little, in case it gives anyone a bit of hope to see one form a happy life can take which isn't perhaps the mainstream?

I wake up to find my little cat purring on my chest, and I give her a cuddle.

I get dressed in a new suit I've brought. I realised recently that off-the-shelf clothes never fit me right, so I've been saving up money to have them adjusted at a tailor. It fits perfectly now and I feel great in it. It's taken a while, but I feel like I've finally nailed a style for myself.

I walk to work, through the park so I can admire the flowers. This takes longer, but it gives me some exercise and I enjoy having the time to think. I stop off at a shop on the way and get some nice sandwiches, my favourite kind of pastry and a drink. Normally I make a pack lunch, but this is my weekly Tuesday Treat.

I have a morning meeting with some of my coworkers, who I feel value me and my work. Personal organisation in my worklife has been a struggle for me, but recently I realised I'm one of those folks who probably has ADHD and wasn't caught by the system. Just knowing this has given me so many new tools which are designed for the way by brain works, and I feel so much more confidant.

For the rest of the day instead of staying in my office I work on a picnic table in the sunshine, occasionally stopping to watch some skateboarders. At lunchtime I eat the food I bought, and I chec discord and catch up with online shenanigans. I enjoy having friendships I've forged with people across the world. I love to visit people and to travel, and my independent lifestyle gives me chance to do that. I also like having people over to stay. I like to say I'm like Bilbo Baggins, I live along in my little hobbit hole but if you come round I'll cook you an elaborate dinner and put you up for the night.

After work I go on a free guided history walk around my local area, and find out about lots of little historical things of interest I hadn't seen before. I also meet new people. Even if I never see them again, it's nice to have that moment of connection. When I get home, I video call with my parents and we share our news with each other.

I cook a quick dinner - these days I don't put pressure on myself to do anything too elaborate. I figure if frozen chopped onion and ready meals help me to eat moderately well and keep healthy, I'll use them. I have some cream which needs using, so eat it with some absolutely monstrous strawberries.

I check my personal emails with my cat purring away on my lap. I've got a little side gig writing and illustrating. I worry that I'm not very good and It doesn't make me much money and I know I'll never be famous (do I even want to be?!), but I do enjoy it. Sometimes I'm confronted with a pile of rejections which can hurt, but it's all good stuff today: the money from a book I worked on came in. There are some more details about a talk I'm giving at the British Library later this year. My agent is sending some possible opportunities my way.

I still have a few hours before bed, so I work on a creative project for a bit. Not something I'm being paid for today: it's a personal craft project. I realised a while ago I have a bad habit of monetising everything, so now I make sure to set aside time in the week to work on things that will be presents for myself or friends.

And then when it gets to about 11, I snuggle under the covers and read PG Wodehouse. I giggle. A lot.

It's been a hard slog, but I suddenly find that I'm a very happy person. There's no partner-shaped or child-shaped hole in my life. I'm content. Every life has highs and lows of course, some days are better than others. I'm sure I'll have many troubles to face in the future, but I consider my asexuality to be a positive and joyful facet of my life.

#asexual #asexuality #aroace #aromantic #aromanticism

133 notes · View notes

gurgling-guts · 1 year

Text

Flatulence in Formal

written for the request in my previous post

content warning: food indulgence, descriptions of stomach noises and flatulence, humiliation

--------------------

A and B were invited to a formal dinner party with A's boss and coworkers, at their boss's house. They were quite excited, as A's boss had a wonderful property, the house with two stories and a basement, and a gorgeous botanical garden past the gazebo. Not to mention, it was her birthday, so she'd be going all out.

B pondered aloud as they finished preparing themselves for the evening,

"I wonder what's planned this time around. Last time she threw a dinner party like this we both came home stuffed to the brim."

"God, I don't know, but we won't need to eat much before we go, or after."

As the pair arrived mid afternoon, they were greeted by a few of A's friends and coworkers, and their boss, guiding them to the dining room.

A's boss bragged, "I do hope you all haven't eaten much yet today, I've quite a filling feast for us tonight."

"I'm sure, you always go all out and feed us well when celebrating like this."

They made their way to the dining room where there was a long table set to seat twenty. The display was gorgeous, bouquets of the flowers in their boss's garden, candle light, and a great spread of vegetables, pita bread, and chips with blue cheese, creamy garlic hummus, and salsa for dipping.

A and B took their seats next to each other and near their dearest friends, and began chatting, digging into the hummus, and wrapping up veggies in their pita for a delicious bite. They wondered if their boss had grown the broccoli, carrots, cucumbers, and other vegetables in her garden, as they were fresh and flavorful, picked at just the right time.

As they talked, one of A's friends complimented their slim midi dress, adorned with gorgeous patterns and lace along the slit.

"I love the way the silk makes it shine in the sunlight. It hugs your figure splendidly."

They smiled, "Why, thank you. Perhaps we should go out and have you fitted for one in your favorite color, I think you would look just lovely."

After a short while of snacking and beginning to drink, the main course would be served. The meal was blackened salmon with a side of toasted brown rice with mushrooms and thyme, and a hearty three bean salad. It smelled amazing, and they couldn't wait to try a bite of salmon with the salad. As the boss's house staff set the plates in front of each guest, A inhaled deeply, mouth watering at the scent of the mushrooms and different seasonings.

They were quick to bite into the salmon, scooping some of the rice with it. It was perfect, tender and falling apart in their mouth. It had a slight kick, but wasn't too spicy. And the mushrooms with the rice… it was a buttery and earthy heaven on their tongue. They swallowed it down with a bit of their wine, going in to try the salad. It was savory and zesty, and somewhat crunchy, with red onions, celery, and a wonderful vinegar dressing.

As they got near the halfway point of their meal, they felt their stomach rumble a bit. Thankfully, it wasn't audible, but they began to feel some discomfort. They applied a bit of pressure to their tummy, noticing a slight tightness around their belly button. For a while, their discomfort was eased as the bubbles moved along their digestive tract. Caring not, they ate more, relishing in the flavor of the salmon and salad.

As they got closer to clearing their plate, their tummy bubbled more, and pressure was building. They were feeling even more uncomfortable around their middle, and their digestion refused to be quiet any longer. A long, bubbly gurgle sounded out from A's tummy. Their coworker next to them, who happened to be a bit tipsy, heard, and decided to tease, "Somebody's got the bubble guts. Eat too many beans?"

A's face flushed, and they put their hand to their tummy, feeling how it had rounded out. It continued bubbling and building up more pressure, stretching the fabric of their dress… Their friend was quite right about the state of their tummy, and they were humiliated to have it pointed out.

"Please excuse me for those noises. I m-must've swallowed quite a bit of air.."

"Sure, that's why it's rumbling. You better be careful, I heard the boss is serving blueberry cheesecake for dessert."

A pushed away their plate, and rubbed their tummy as inconspicuously as they could, making sure to clench their bum to avoid letting anything out. They dreaded the next course and the havoc it would wreak in their gut. They looked toward their partner for comfort, not sure if they should try to stand to go relieve some pressure.

B had overheard, realizing A's situation quickly, and gave them a look of concern. They reached over to A, rubbing their side, and feeling their bloat. They felt sympathy for them, knowing they weren't only uncomfortable, but surely embarrassed from their coworker's teasing. Between the broccoli, garlic hummus, beans, and onions, they were already guaranteed a wicked bellyache, but with dairy added? Even B's gut was a bit rumbly. It was a recipe for some very potent gas, at the least.

A's belly rumbled again, and they winced, the pressure now causing cramps. They clenched tight, and waited for the discomfort to subside before standing. If they didn't go somewhere private soon, they'd be letting loose in front of everyone.

"Excuse me love, I'm going to go.. uhm..freshen up a bit before we have dessert."

"Alright my dear, are you feeling okay?"

Their tummy growled again as they spoke, "Y-yes, I just need some fresh air and a minute of privacy. I'll be back shortly."

B frowned, worried for their partner. They watched as A headed off, a hand low on their gut that now was as round as it could manage. Their dress was most certainly hugging their figure now.

Once A knew they were somewhere they wouldn't be heard, they found a seat, and relaxed their tightened muscles, unclenching their bum. A long string of loud farts rumbled out of them. The gas felt hot on its way out, reeking of all the veggies and beans they'd eaten earlier. They blushed even though they were alone, ashamed of how unruly their gut was… It was their own fault for having so much of the things they knew made them gassy. A groaned, their tummy still bubbling and cramping. They pushed, but couldn't get any more of their gas out.

Worrying about A, B decided to leave the table as well to find them. It didn't take long, as when they turned a corner in the hall, they heard A's groans of discomfort. As they walked further, a faint smell of rotten vegetables and sulfur hit B, and they found A. They looked up at B as they walked in, confused, "What are you doing here, love?"

"I was worried about you.. I know your tummy has been giving you quite a bit of trouble, and I wanted to help."

A blushed, looking to the floor, "You aren't wrong about that… but I'm alright, you don't need to do anything."

B sat with A, putting their hand on B's tummy, feeling all the bubbles rolling through them,

"I know. I want you to feel better, though. May I?"

A sighed, knowing they did need help, and relief. They nodded, "Please…"

Having A's permission, B began to massage their abdomen slowly and gently with pressure. They began at the lower right of their tummy, working their way up their right side, across, and down their left side, several times. A particularly bassy rumble began, ending in the lower left side of A's tummy.

"Oh lord.. I'm so sorry for my tummy's noises, B… I know it's unpleasant."

"You're alright, love. Your tummy is just bubbly, it happens to everyone. Here, feel mine."

A reached out curiously, pressing their fingertips to B's lower belly. Sure enough, they felt the bubbles, and realized B would be gassy as well.

B applied more pressure, working A's trapped gas, and the deep bubbles had let them know it was almost out. Their fingers reached a hard spot, and they pressed just slightly harder, causing a series of growls, and an airy, rumbling fart to erupt from A's rump. They felt some physical relief, but they were a blushing mess. They felt repulsed by their bodily functions.

"Please excuse me again…"

"Of course, love. Does your tummy feel any better?"

"Yes, only a little bit, though."

"I'll keep rubbing your tummy until you feel relieved enough to return to the table, alright?"

"Alright. I can't thank you enough, love…"

They tooted again, flooding rank air out of their irritated bowels.

"Oh goodness, the smell. I'm so sorry my tummy is like this right now. I feel terrible…"

B pressed on their tummy again, forcing more gas out their bum.

"Ex-excuse me."

"I promise you're alright. I don't mind the noises, or even the smell. I want your tummy to feel better, especially before dessert."

A groaned, being reminded of the cheesecake they'd soon be eating, even though they most definitely shouldn't.

"Thank you for helping me… relieve myself. I'm worried though, I know the cheesecake is going to make my tummy even more bubbly than it was."

"Well… do you feel less bloated?"

"I suppose. It's not gurgling much anymore, and it isn't hard to the touch."

"I think it'll be alright, then."

"If you're sure. I think I'm ready to go back."

With that, A and B returned to the table holding hands, A's tummy slightly less distended. They both sat down again, their friends and coworkers on either side greeting them.

Just as before, A's coworker was teasing, inquiring about their tummy,

"How's the bubble guts? You still feeling rumbly in your tummy?"

A couldn't help the blush that showed on their cheeks, but they brushed it off,

"I'm feeling quite alright, but thank you for asking."

A few moments after they took their seats again, the cheesecake was served. It looked amazing with the blueberries and glaze drizzled all over each slice individually. The slices were generous in portion, same as the previous course. Though they knew it would cause them more intestinal distress, their mouth watered at the thought of the taste. They dug in with their fork, making sure to get a blueberry.

The cheesecake was decadent and creamy, the blueberry glaze having the perfect balance of tartness and sweetness, and the crust with a hint of cinnamon and nutmeg. It was amazing, and though they'd soon regret it, they felt it was worth the consequences, at least at that moment. As A got full after half their cheesecake, their tummy returned to a bubbling, gurgling mess. They passively rubbed their gut, knowing they'd need privacy again soon. Their belly was so full and gassy that it hurt.

A waited for the right time to excuse themselves again, not wanting much attention, especially from the likes of those next to them. To their utter dismay, as they shifted to stand, their tummy rumbled, and a loud fart bubbled out of them. It lasted long enough to break the tables' conversation and draw all attention to A. Their coworker who'd previously teased them for their bubbly tummy spat out their drink, unable to stifle their laughter.

They flushed red immediately, humiliation washing over them, tummy still bubbling loudly.

They stammered out their words, "P-pardon me, something is-" they farted again, this time punctuated by a wet sputter, "S-something is really disagreeing with me. I'm terribly sorry for my stomach's noises and my.. my, uhm, wind."

Their boss chuckled, along with a few giggling coworkers, some of which accidentally farted as well, causing another burst of laughter at the table.

"Don't worry about it, after all, we've all had a plate of beans and a cheesecake. If you need it though, or anyone else, the bathroom is down the left hall, or up the stairs."

They nodded, and excused themselves quickly, tooting on their way to the bathroom. They spent a while in there, waiting out their gas and their shame, hoping that by the time they left the restroom, it would be time to go home. They decided to sit on the toilet, just in case anything other than gas was brewing. This time, thankfully, their timing was good, and once they returned to the dining room, everyone was standing around chatting, while the staff cleared the table.

A beelined their way through goodbyes and friends joking about their eruption at the table, and they got a couple compliments for their gas. A couple coworkers said it was "impressive." This made them feel odd… but not in a bad way, strangely. Once they found B waiting, they squeezed their hand, ready to rush out to their car.

"Are you ready to head home, love?"

"Of course, dear. Is your stomach feeling alright?"

A shook their head. Their belly was still bubbling under their skin, still bloated and stretching their dress. B frowned, and rubbed their side gently.

"Let's head out and get home."

They both said their final goodbyes, and walked out to their car. B made sure to take extra care, and helped A into the passenger's side, gently pulling their seat belt over their lap. Lucky for A, and for B's nose, their house wasn't too far, just over a five minute drive.

Once they got home, A was holding their belly, trying their best not to let anything loose in their car. B saw that they were in pain, and carried them inside, taking them to their bedroom. After undressing themself, changing into light and comfortable silk pajamas, B helped A change as well. They slid the dress over A's head, and slid on a loose nightgown that matched B. Before getting into bed, they pulled a heating pad out of the night stand drawer and gave it to A, slipping into bed behind them.

"I love you, my dear. I'm so sorry about the interruptions my tummy caused tonight…"

"I love you, too, darling. I promise, it's nothing to dwell on. Even my belly is getting rumbly. Just relax and I'll rub your tummy until we fall asleep."

A squeezed B's hand gently, letting them rub their unhappy gut, and sighed. They relaxed under the combination of the heating pad's warmth and B's soothing touch, releasing a cacophony of bubbly farts, muffled by the blankets.

B patted their belly, and kissed the back of their head.

"I hope you have sweet dreams, love."

"I hope you do, too. You're my world."

As they relaxed more into B, they kept letting out long, wet farts. The disagreeable food they'd filled up on earlier was making their gut angrier still as it all moved through them. Another wet toot rumbled out into the room, but it hadn't been A this time. B grunted, putting a hand to their gut as they pushed out a rather gurgly fart.

"Ugh, excuse me. The beans are doing a number on me, too."

Hearing B like this, the same way they were vulnerable earlier… A turned over to face B, and kissed their cheek.

"You're quite alright, darling. How about I rub your belly?"

B smiled, kissing A sweetly.

"I would like that very much."

#gg speaks #upset tummy #eproctophilia #gas kink #tummy noises #bloated

91 notes · View notes

1000-directions · 7 months

Text

good stuff 9-23-23

such good coffee today!!!! my coffee shop has so many good new fall flavors!!!! the one i had today was fig and cardamom and it was incredible!!!!! i am so excited to drink them all!!!!!!!

i forgot to mention this yesterday but i wore a dress to work that i've only worn once before because i didn't really like how it looked, but i decided to give it another try, and pretty much as soon as my coworker saw me she was talking about how good it looked, and i was like ??? but it boosted my confidence a lot. so i actually have that dress in two colors because i had bought it online on sale before realizing i wasn't crazy about it, so today to the coffee shop, i wore the other color. i never wear a dress to the coffee shop, i always roll up in track pants. but i wore this dress, and one of my favorite cashiers was also wearing a dress, and they were like 'i've never seen you in a dress, and i never wear dresses, and i love that we are both wearing a dress today!' and i loved it too :))))

i did a very quick shop without a list, just wanted to see what produce looked good. i got some baby hakurei turnips and two squashes i've never cooked before, and i'm excited to eat them :)

and i made a good quesadilla for dinner tonight. i cooked some frozen roasted corn with green onions and and chili pepper and lots and lots of cilantro to make a little corn salad, and then i put that in tortillas with lots of cheese, and it was very delicious. trader joe's frozen roasted corn is so good and so versatile. i've been buying it for years and just eating it plain, but i've just recently started using it as an ingredient, and it's all turned out great so far.

#good stuff 2k23 #food cw #coffee

17 notes · View notes

donnerpartyofone · 2 years

Text

I've probably told this story before but this time it goes out to @messenthral -

When I was working around Times Square, it was really hard to find anything decent to eat. Everything was some combination of not nutritious, not affordable, or something you'd get sick of quickly if you were stuck with it. There are a lot of places in this grim food genre that I just think of as Corporate Catering, where it's buffet style, there's a smattering of interpretations of different ethnic foods including really shady-looking sushi, and then some pseudo-healthy crap that's always like bland soggy vegetable wraps with cold decomposed bell peppers in them... One particular place had this oddball smell that I couldn't quite identify, until I realized that at the bottom of every single one of the like 40 hotplates was a bed of chopped raw white onion. No matter what the food was, it was resting on a bed of gently warmed raw onions slowly growing stale, the way people normally use lettuce or something. I have no idea what culinary tradition that technique was supposed to be from. But anyway,

One day I decided to try out this sandwich spot that all my coworkers were raving about. Even though I'm afraid to eat sandwiches in public due to structural integrity issues, I figured I'd at least check it out. The second I crossed the threshold I knew I was in trouble. First of all it was like 2pm, and there was a guy in the center of the dining area, which wasn't that different from the seating section of a Subway or something but there was a guy in there with a GUITAR and a MICROPHONE playing a loud cover of "Creep" by Radiohead. And there was this like assembly line process where the consumer has to stop at multiple different Stations where you negotiate with different staff members to like curate your sandwich and side experience, leading up to the ultimate confrontation with the cashier. As soon as I saw what was going on in there I froze and started to sweat, which is when I noticed that a couple had walked in behind me, and they were also not moving. After a minute I heard the guy say something like, "Is this not ok?" and the girl goes, "Uh...yeah, I can't...do this," and then all three of us left.

Fin.

9 notes · View notes

greatbigbellies · 1 year

Note

It’s been so long I had to figure out what I’ve done to myself… family feast: septuplets fried pickle chips (x2): 80% cravings large tater tots (x2): 20% belly width nuggets (x2): 24% baby weight large marshmallow plushes (x2): 70% fatter belly large maternal marionberry: 10% wider hips fry sauce: thicker figure bacon egg griddle (x2): 2 hour wait time 8-piece mozzarella sticks: 4 hour extension Oh wow… I guess my eyes were bigger than my stomach… well, not anymore… I dip barbecue chips in the melting chocolate ice cream sitting on vastness, sometimes three or four at time, while the Real Housewives shout at each other in a gym. Despite my enormous size, my stomach seems bottomless. I could eat and eat and eat. I’m content to nurture life and get fat while the world passes me by. Although the agony of getting up is delightful, I can’t help but think about what it’d be like to share this experience with someone. It’d be nice to have an extra pair of hands to rub my enormity, or someone a bit slimmer who could move easier to help me. My belly is too big to approach the counter head-on, so I saddle up to the side. In the remnants of the McPreggo bag, I notice the receipt. My stomach growls. Again, the agony is exquisite. The seven of them are hungry. They want their momma fat. My fingers unconsciously knead my plushy belly. The receipt had something written on it. A name, a number, and something about "personally surveying, then satisfying the customer." There’s a moment of a hesitation, but it’s broken when one of the septuplets jabs me in the rib. I call. “Hello,” I purr. “I’d like to put in a personal order to go. I need…” It’s not a want, it’s a need. My body needs to be bigger. “Two large maternal marionberries, an 8-piece order of mozzarella sticks…” I groan at another kick from somewhere else, “large onion rings, and I’ve been really bad about my diet, so I’ll take a side salad with extra Caesar dressing. Why don’t you come by and stay for a while, you know, play house with me?”

I instantly know who I'm talking to. That voice, once so nervous at my counter, now so proud and sultry. I'm about to end my shift, but swing by the register to punch in your order, using my managers discount to get the price waived. "You, uh, got any plans tonight?" my coworker asks, surprised at my unusual quantity of food ordered to go. My usual being a Twinner and some tots for a relaxing evening alone... "Yep, something fun just came up. Gonna need you to make those marionberry shakes extra thick for me,"

I return my attention to the phone call. "Oh, that would be lovely. You point and direct and I'll move things to your nesting instinct's desire. I'll hand feed you everything, then massage that massive pregnant gut of yours for a while. Those onions rings are gonna give you some real impressive tiger stripes... you mind if I take stock of them while I'm there? I'm partial to kissing each one individually, so you know I love them all,"

#ask #anon #not bellies #mcpreggo #absolute fucking poetry

2 notes · View notes

rubykgrant · 2 years

Text

(More Grimmons first-date nonsense, where restaurant staff are enthralled by the bickering romance that is Grif and Simmons, and also I like food about much as Grif, and it shows~)

Grif decided on the bacon cheddar cheese burger (which was made by frying the bacon up first, then crushing the crispy bits up, and mixing it with the burger meat, so the bacon was cooked inside of the patty), with sweet and spicy barbeque sauce. He chose the diced potatoes fried with onions, bell peppers, and garlic to go with it. Plus, a side of fried mozzarella sticks with marinara dip. Simmons ordered a grilled chicken burger that came with sauteed mushrooms and avocado (the chicken was seasons with mixed peppercorn and garlic). He also ordered a bowl of cheddar broccoli soup, and a side salad.

They both got rootbeers, and when the drinks came, Grif teased Simmons; asking if he was still pretending to be vegan, and Simmons pointing out he never specifically claimed to be any such thing, he just didn’t eat a lot of meat, except Grif remembered several times years back when Simmons used that word to describe himself and acted very superior about it, to which Simmons argued that eating a vegan diet and actually BEING vegan weren’t the same thing, and a playful argument ensued as they waited for their food… and continued once it arrived.

“Hey, you see those guys over there?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you think?”

“Just buddies. Obviously,”

“Nah, I think they’re exes trying to be friends again. They’ve got that weird I-used-to-love-you-but-you-drive-me-crazy energy,”

“Hey, maybe DON’T gossip about customers while they’re still here, and also maybe DON’T make assumptions about relationships between total strangers, hmm?”

The two employees gathering up plates and cups jumped at the new voice; they had been looking across the restaurant as they worked, watching the booth with the two men who seemed to be constantly bickering. The men also kept on sharing bites of each other’s food, leaning close, wrapped up in their own little world, and tapping their feet together under the table (like an attempt at playing footsie). It was surprisingly fascinating, the way they were almost seeing who could annoy the other the most, upping the ante, and then turning it around by sharing a compliment instead of an insult. Suddenly, grumbles and flustered noises would turn into fond laughter. It all seemed like one big inside joke, and even though the onlookers didn’t understand what was happening over there, it was undeniably entertaining.

Now they had been caught by one of their coworkers, and hurried to finish with the cleaning.

“Right, right, sorry!”

“Yeah, sorry, we really weren’t trying to be nosy, we just got distracted…”

“I know, you didn’t mean any harm. You’re not in trouble. It can just kinda be a little rude to talk about random people in public,” the third person explained, not wanting to scold the others too harshly, but hoping they would understand why somebody else might get upset. “Besides, those guys over there are DEFINITELY married…”

When the food was done, somebody came by to ask if either man wanted dessert.

“Oh, ABSOLUTELY!” Grif started checking out the menu of various treats. “Simmons. Simmons, look at this. Oh my GOD,”

He held the menu out, thumb tapping to one picture, so Simmons would find it.

“S’mores Supreme…” Simmons read the name out-loud, then smiled up at the waiter. “OK, what exactly is that?”

“Oh, it’s one of our specials! Vanilla ice cream and hot fudge, with toasted marshmallows and crushed up graham crackers!” the young man, name-tag reading Hayden, explained.

“The ice cream has toasted marshmallows on it?” Simmons asked.

“Yep! They’re flambeed, right there on top of the ice cream, so they’re golden-brown and warm inside. Seriously, this is so good. Might just be my favorite,” the waiter continued.

“I think I’m in love,” Grif spoke in a dreamy voice, looking at the picture on the menu. Simmons laughed and rolled his eyes.

“Should I be jealous? I mean, I can leave if you’d rather continue the date with the food-” Simmons turned away, pretending to be offended.

“Don’t be like that, you know I have room in my heart for you AND ice cream,” Grif reached out and scooted closer in the booth, dramatically attempting to console his boyfriend.

“Well, I don’t know if I want to share you…” Simmons said, fighting the smile that wanted to spread across his face (the smile was winning).

“Aww, ice cream comes and goes, and eventually melts…” Grif was holding Simmons’ hand now.

“Are you trying to be all romantic and philosophical about dessert right now?” Simmons couldn’t hide how amused he was.

“BUT, we’ll always be together. And besides, YOU make ME melt-”

“You are so embarrassing, shut up! I’m sorry, please ignore him!” Simmons looked back at their poor waiter, who had to witness this lovey-dovey act from his boyfriend… but he was also undeniably proud of this too (having somebody who fussed over him, who said such over-the-top mushy nonsense, but also meant it with absolutely no trace of irony. Attention and compliments from somebody he loved? Simmons couldn’t get enough, despite his protests of embarrassment). “Yes, we’d like a S’mores Supreme, please!”

“OK, so- one to share? We can do two scoops, three, four, or five…” Hayden began writing it down.

“Better go with five,” Simmons tried to say with an even tone (difficult, because Grif was giggling and grinning as he cuddled against Simmons’ shoulder, enjoying how much he had made his boyfriend blush).

“Alright, five it is. Also, we try to make sure the marshmallows are just right… but some of them can get a little bit burned,” Hayden warned.

“That’s fine, honestly,” Simmons said.

“Yeah, burned is one of my favorite flavors!” Grif added.

As Hayden walked away to hand-off their order, he heard them begin a whole new discussion about how “Burned is NOT a flavor!”, “If you can taste it, then it’s a flavor! That’s exactly what flavor is!”, followed by more laughter.

“Hey, the guys at booth 17 would like a S’mores Supreme!” Hayden told two of the desert chefs who handled ice cream in the kitchen. “And I think they just got engaged or something. Maybe celebrating their anniversary. Either way, they’ve been love-birds for a long time…”

#red vs blue #rvb #rvb fic #dexter grif #dick simmons #grimmons #food

15 notes · View notes

moved-please-leave-me-alone · 1 year

Text

FULL LIST OF MY HEADCANONS FOR MARTY FROM PAPA LOUIE:

-Transsexual bisexual man who realized he was trans like a month before the events of the first game. Also on the Aroace spectrum. More specifically aroflux Cupiosexual but he just says Aroace because he doesn’t feel like explaining things

-autistic 100%

-he’s also schizophrenic, and has BPD, OCD, ADHD, and DPDR

-he has a lot of weird food habits, like he will eat food off the floor and not care even little bit. If you drop your chips he WILL eat them. He will make the most cursed food combinations, such as: peanut butter and onion sandwiches, waffle mozzarella sandwiches, eating raw salt straight from the shaker, putting Nutella on pasta, etc. This man should NOT be in charge of a burger restaurant, that was Papa Louie’s first mistake

-VERY touchy. VERY clingy. He grabs onto everyone, hugs everyone, this man touches everything.

-stoner. Don’t think I need to elaborate anymore.

-Owns like 30 pairs of patch pants.

-Feels the need to forcibly insert himself into literally everything because he likes attention, and HATES being ignored

-has witnessed Horrors as a child but remembers None Of It

-Speaking of horrors, his parents do not have a stable relationship, but can’t divorce due to religious reasons. Marty, however, remembers None Of This and Clover has to constantly remind him why they don’t visit them on Thanksgiving.

-this man lost all ability to feel shame and embarrassment years ago. He is unabashedly loud. He sings terribly. He makes terrible art. He does whatever he wants. He does not give any sort of damn.

-on the flipside (get it), Rita is way more conservative, coming from a super religious family. And then her coworker is a Complete And Utter Freak. Oh yeah baby it’s alllllll coming together.

-He used to bite people as a kid. A lot.

-He stims by rocking on his heels, quoting YTPs, and pacing

-He has the entirety of Eggman’s Announcement memorized by heart and can recite it word for word on cue.

-He was best friends with Carlo Romano in 4th grade, who taught him how to play guitar. However, Marty was way more clingy and attached to Carlo Romano than Carlo was to Marty, and they drifted apart. Years later, they reunited, and Marty is absolutely CONVINCED that they are still best friends, whilst Carlo Romano wants absolutely nothing to do with him, and finds him annoying. Drama!

-he may have severe abandonment issues but boy can he SHRED on that guitar

-Literally a month before the events of the first game he was smoking weed with Mitch, and Mitch was like “Bro isn’t it so crazy that you can just. Change your gender if you want too” and Marty’s like “Wait you can what” and then proceeded to have a Gender Crisis

-he’s very forgiving usually, even if the person isn’t sorry. This is partially due to his horrible memory, and he mostly just forgets what they do after a day. There are some exceptions however….

-throws bricks at cop cars for a hobby

-chews on EVERYTHING. Shirts, water bottles, himself, you name it, he’s probably chewed on it

-has a dog named Rat and a rat named Dog

-Only reason he’s in Scarlett and The Shakers is because Clover joined, and like I said he feels the need to forcibly insert himself into everything

-Uses tumblr, his URL is “Supermegacockguy”

-has cried over sugar gliders before

-He listens to folk punk, punk rock, basically every genre of punk music besides punk pop. His playlists are basically entirely that, except his main one also has “There’s a Zombie On Your Lawn” from the hit videogame Plants Vs Zombies

Conclusion: this man is a complete freak

I might add to this if I get more ideas, but for now this is it. Enjoy!

#Papa Louie #marty Papa Louie #jimmy.txt

3 notes · View notes

wucaro · 1 year

Text

top ten bites of 2022

10. 2825 day aged Mole - pujol

On the eve of our last night in Mexico City, Jason and I snagged a last minute (very difficult to get) reservation at the $$$$ restaurant Pujol. We had been laying in bed all day trying to regain our appetite from a bout of food poisoning and spent most of this meal running to the bathroom between courses. Our (hilarious) pain aside, it was a spectacular meal. This mole had been continuously cooking for over seven years and had such a depth of flavor (fermented fruit, chiles, and chocolate). The only reason I have it ranked lower on this list is because it was just a plate of sauce and would’ve tasted better on some chicken.

9. Seafood Beef Stew - Lighthouse Tofu

I usually don’t order Korean stews and opt for a stir fry dish at Korean restaurants, but this stew really changed my mind. The seafood added such a depth of flavor and I loved all the side dishes. Maybe I was biased from not having good Korean food since I moved to DC but I’m still thinking about this meal (and the side of galbi).

8. Fava Bean Dip and Pita Bread - Andros Taverna

This was the starter for my April 4 birthday meal and it set up a spectacular four courses. Andros Taverna puts pretty much all other dip/pita based cuisine to shame (topping Chicago’s Galit and really any Mediterranean restaurant from here to New York). The sauces had incredible flavor (I love dill) and the oven baked pita is some of the fluffiest, most flavorful bread I’ve ever tasted. My grandma used to cook a lot of fava beans in chinese dishes growing up so this dip in particular had something familiar and something new to it.

7. Rolled Lasagna - Ciccio Mio

I won’t deny that this pick might be slightly influenced by the scenery. Ciccio Mio has a stunning interior (highly recommend for date night) and my college roommate + I went right before a night at the ballet. This rolled lasagna is probably influenced by the Don Angie one but it’s much cheaper (at only $24 vs $60) and absolutely mindblowing. It’s a perfectly cooked pasta on the inside, crispy on top, and the sauce is full of basil flavor. Finish with an espresso and pavlova and it’s a perfect Chicago meal.

6. Naem Khao salad - Thip Khao

The only DC meal to make it on this list this year, Thip Khao has been known for this salad for years now. It’s absolutely worth the hype and a perfect combination of textures and flavor. I love the lime, sour pork, and peanuts in this dish. Wrapped in lettuce? Perfection. I’ve honestly never had anything like it and am thankful everyday that I don’t have a nut allergy.

5. suadero tacos with grilled mexican green onions - Tacos Tony

This was the second taco we ate in Mexico City upon landing and it’s convinced me that al pastor tacos aren’t the best ones on the block. This taco was incredibly flavorful but the highlight was a whole sweet mexican green onion that had been grilled on top of the meat juices. It had a perfect char and tasted delicious on top of the taco. I’ve been buying them from the grocery store lately and charring them myself. I really love how traveling introduces you to new ways of cooking your daily meals.

4. any slice of pizza - Jimmy’s Pizza

Everything after this is from Mexico City, but a slice of Jimmy’s Pizza is sneaking in at #4. My old coworker once said that his New York born and raised wife claimed Jimmy’s Pizza was better than any slice she had ever had in New York. That might be sacrilegious to say but this stuff has some secret drug in it. I’ve honestly just never tasted anything quite as addicting. I used to get tacos every Friday night in Chicago as a “end of work week” treat but I switched over to Jimmy’s Pizza after discovering it.

3. pastor con queso taco - Taqueria Los Parados

This was probably the source of our stomach clutching food poisoning. Would I eat it again if I had the chance? Probably. It’s cheese cooked with vegetables, al pastor, and mushrooms topped with the freshest green sauce and pico. Shoutout to Lena for randomly picking this off the menu, we ordered a second round.

2. tuna ceviche - Paramo

Cheers to Jason’s coworker Diego for suggesting this place. There were so many great drinks (one of my favorite sips of sangria ever) and dishes (boar uni taco? yes) but the tuna ceviche really topped my list. It was simple (tuna, cucumbers, avocado and onions on a tostada) but the fresh fish, bright sauce, and crunchy tostada really made it a perfect dish. (apologies for the dark pic)

1. snail ceviche - pujol

And topping the list at #1 is another seafood dish - this time at the famed Pujol (as mentioned in #10). This was the dish that shocked me most in the tasting menu. The snail is incredibly fresh and delicate, I drank all the sauce, and it tasted incredible on a taro chip. If it’s not obvious now, I love contrast in dishes (something with a softer texture + something crunchy, lots of acidity, some fattiness) and this dish executed that perfectly.

honorable mentions: blanco colima’s lemon dessert, pho 75′s pho, chicken milanese torta from la esquina del chilaquiles, steak chilaquiles from el cardinal, every other pujol dish, oyster taco from mi tocaya, the octopus okonomiyaki from gaijin, seolleongtang from han bat.

Best drinks

4. Mexican beer - i don’t remember the name it came in a yellow can but way better than the beer i’ve had before

3. Floral white sangria from Yunnan by Potomac

2. Sangria from Paramo

1. Belle’s punch from Succotash

0 notes

peaceful-warm-tired · 1 year

Text

2022-12-12

Today was a strange day. Back to work after my sick leave. Apparently one of my coworkers kept talking about how much she missed me while I was away. (If she wasn't my coworker and she was also queer....)

I had to walk to work because there is a public transit strike right now and we got an incredible amount of snow overnight, so traipsing through the sidewalk of unplowed snow was an unexpected morning workout. I also walked most of the way home, but at least the sidewalks were more plowed by then.

My partner and I had an - I'm not sure what to call it actually - argument? last night. We have a fairly good relationship and we make such good partners, but we're dysfunctional in a couple ways. We should probably go to therapy individually and together someday. But I was extremely tired today because of staying up too late last night.

I did manage to eat quite healthily today though! Here's what I've had so far:

yogurt + nuts + coffee

buckwheat + carrots + hummus

applesauce

rice + sweet potato + carmelized onions + chili mayo + jackfruit

I'm attempting to eat more nutritious foods, pay attention to portion sizes, and also eat a good variety of food groups. I'd also like to keep my body moving, especially to ward off the winter blues, but also because I'm getting to an age where I need to focus on taking care of myself more than I did in the past.

I don't have much insight to share today. I'm tired and I'm using this blog to write whatever I feel like writing, even if it's just the mundane daily things.

#online journal #personal diary

1 note · View note

mcrmadness · 2 years

Note

For the ask meme: 📺 🥞 🥭

I'm a bit late again, but thanks for the ask! ^^

18. TV show you’d recommend to everyone 📺

Life on Mars UK. That has everything! Drama, crime, humour and a bit of scifi, sometimes even something that could be considered horror or thriller - and music. And it has "only" 2 seasons long, I think 8 episodes each, so it's quite easy to get through.

The series is about Sam Tyler, basically a cop or detective, from the year 2006. But he gets in a car accident and then suddenly wokes up from the 1970s! And like the intro says, he doesn't know if he's traveled back in time, in a coma or mad. He then has to try to get used to working with the 70s police ethics, and solve crimes with his new coworkers and boss, who are not so delighted by his nonsense at first. I really really recommend this to everyone who is either into crime series or anything with a bit of mystery and scifi aspect in it, also really recommending this to anyone who likes the basic 70s British rock. I myself don't even like music from that era, but it just works so damn well with this series that it would just feel so wrong if it had more modern music to it.

Personally I have rewatched this series probably over 5 times or more. I started watching it as a teenager when it was shown on TV for the first time here (in 2006 or so), and later got both seasons on DVD and it's just one of those series you can always always start over, cos it's so good and so damn funny, too! Oh and I love the Manchester dialect/accent they're using there.

There aren't good trailer videos on youtube, but imho this older fanmade trailer is the kind of trailer this show deserved!

youtube

(Oh and it also got a spin-off called Ashes to Ashes. Sam Tyler is not in that, but it has a new protagonist and is set to the 80s. I never liked the actress nor her character, and I was missing Sam so much I wasn't able to watch more than maybe 1-2 episodes of it, and now I pretend that this spin-off never even happened :D)

---

30. Favorite snack 🥞

I don't really eat snacks..? If I'm somewhere else, usually it's a fruit or some whole-grain biscuit meant to lift and maintain your blood sugar levels instead of being pumped full of fast carbs and sugar, which do the opposite. Then sometimes when I'm just feeling like eating something for fun, e.g. when watching a movie, I usually choose potato chips. I guess my personal favorite is sour cream + onion potato chips.

---

37. Favorite fruit 🥭

I don't eat that many fruits tbh. I'd say my favorite is either pear, or something like mandarin/clementine whatsoever, but honestly I mostly eat just bananas. Recently I've been getting migraines from mandarins and orange juice so that's off the list for now (yet I can eat lemon and it does nothing? also earl grey tea has bergamot in it which is a fruit related to oranges, but I also almost never get migraine from this, and I drink tea daily).

I also do like grapes. Especially with blue cheese. Okay maybe I could say grapes as my favorite fruit, if that even is a fruit.

#first-enchanter-surana #ask games

0 notes

survey--s · 2 years

Text

348.

Is there anyone you work with that you don’t get along with? Why? Ah, I really don’t miss co-worker drama lol. I work alone these days and oh my GOD my job is so much less stressful nowadays, ha. Have you ever been romantically interested in a coworker? Yeah, I was engaged to someone I worked with, though we didn’t get together until after we stopped working together.

Have you ever been romantically involved with a coworker? Not while we worked together, no.

Do you have any thoughts on a 14-year age-gap? Not for me, but each to their own as long as it’s legal.

What is the game you’re currently playing most often on your phone? BeatStar. It’s ridiculously addictive lol.

What is your go-to Starbucks order? I never really go to Starbucks anymore as our nearest one is almost an hour away, but in the past I used to get peppermint mochas in winter, and java chip frappucinos in summer.

Do you have any friends that you’re drifting apart from? I don’t really have any friends to start with lol.

Are you close to someone who is mentally unwell? Not really. I know people with various mental health issues but I wouldn’t say we were especially close or anything.

What phone do you have? iPhone 13 Mini.

What is the last thing you ordered for delivery? Cat biscuits lol. I know, how exciting is my life?!

Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? I don’t really have an opinion as long as people do their research either way. It’s really hard to adopt in this country and equally, there are lots of dodgy breeders too. We went to a breeder for Archie, two of the cats were farm kittens, and the third was a private re-home lol.

What’s your favorite chain restaurant? I don’t really eat at many chains just because they’re not really a thing around here. I used to like La Tasca but I don’t even know if they exist anymore.

Have you ever dated someone who was of a foreign origin? Yes.

Have you ever read any of your idol’s books/autobiographies? I don’t really have any idols, to be honest.

Do you own any succulents? No.

When was the last time you climbed a tree? Probably when Milly went missing and we were hunting in this awful dense undergrowth and then someone spotted her like five miles in the other direction and nowhere NEAR where we were searching lol.

If you have any pets, how would you describe their personalities? We have four. So, I would describe Archie as mischievous, loving, greedy and very sociable. Purrlock is grumpy, selective, introverted and loyal. Layla is sociable, outgoing, energetic and affectionate, and Toby is quiet but loving, a bit nervous but an all-round good egg.

What is your phone’s background? An outer space photo I got from Google.

Who played at the last concert you went to? I haven’t been to a concert for years. The last one was probably the Courteeners I think?

Who is playing at the next concert you’re attending? I have no plans to go to any more concerts.

What’s your favorite amusement park ride? I’m not really a fan of any of those these days.

What’s your favorite deep-fried food item? Halloumi, fries, churros, onion rings.

Why were you last pulled over? Uh, I’ve never been pulled over by police or anything, but when I was taking lessons I was once pulled over for some council survey as they were trying to figure out who was using the roads and when/how often etc.

Do you have any friends that own a private lake? I wish lol. There are a few private ones here but they’re all owned by like, holiday parks and stuff like that.

What was the last thing you’ve done on the water? I went paddling/wild swimming over the summer.

Canoeing or kayaking? I’ve never done either but Mike kayaks quite often.

What’s your favorite lake? Lake Garda in Italy is amazing.

Are you cool with swimming in a lake? Sure, I prefer fresh water to salt water.

Do you have a drone? Nope. Again, Mike does though.

Do you have a smart watch? Not anymore. I got myself a cheap one off Amazon a while ago but the strap broke and I never bothered to replace it.

What’s your favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant? This amazing Thai place near to where my parents live.

What do you order from there? Duck spring rolls, sweet and sour pork with coconut rice, and banana fritters with ice-cream for dessert.

What’s your favorite ice-cream flavor? Vanilla, clotted cream, raspberry.

Do you have any t-shirts from any local businesses? No.

Who is your favorite comedian? Michael McIntyre, Jimmy Carr, Sean Lock.

What’s your favorite Netflix series? Uh, I never really watched many of them. A Series of Unfortunate Events was pretty good though.

Do you listen to any talk shows or podcasts? Nope.

Do you know anyone who’s had their own podcast? Not so far as I’m aware.

Where were you the last time you stayed in a hotel? Uhhhh. Buxton I think.

What are you looking forward to, today? Today has just been a normal day. I had a lie-in, walked the dog, did laundry, had a shower, had lunch and now I’m watching TV and doing this survey lol. I’m back at work on Monday so I’m happy to just enjoy some peace for now.

What are you looking forward to, in the next few months? Beach rides, work in general, my birthday, Christmas.

Are you a dog or a cat person? I am an Animal Person. <--- dude, same.

Do you know anyone who is freaked out by cats? Yeah, a few people. I do kind of get it, they’re quite anti-social lol.

Do you know any with Crohn’s disease? Not so far as I’m aware.

#survey #surveys

0 notes