#or a meritocracy i suppose

[rollercoasterwords]

As a fic writer, how do you stay positive and not stress yourself out with constantly comparing?

I've been really struggling with that. I start spiraling when a certain chapter doesn't get as many comments as usual, comparing my hit counts and kudo counts to other fics, and it's really not healthy but I'm struggling with knowing how to stop, how to just be happy and proud of the response I've gotten. Any thoughts or suggestions would be much appreciated.

honestly? i know this might seem counterintuitive but my best advice in that situation is probably to stop posting for a while

like. for me the thing that helped most/still helps most when i find myself falling into the trap of comparison was taking a step back and reevaluating why i wanted to write and what i got out of writing in the first place. like, for me, the core reason i write is for the joy of creating something, and getting to share it with others is all just a bonus. but i haven't always felt that way, and it definitely took a lot of reflection and having to unlearn a lot of social messaging to get there.

i think we are all very much blasted with the message that the most important metric for how worthy art is = how big the audience looking at it is. and i think, because of the way capitalism conditions us to interact w art, it's really really easy to feel like your art is only meaningful if people are seeing it and telling you it's good. like, the focus turns to outside affirmation rather than an interior sense of worth.

but the act of creating art has merit in and of itself. art is worth something because the act of creation is beautiful and joyful, regardless of who sees or doesn't see the final product.

writing fanfiction has helped me find the joy in writing again by removing it from the sort of profit economy that conditions me to think art is only worth something if it can be sold. before i got into writing fic, i felt this sense that creative writing wasn't worth anything unless it was something that i could one day publish which really just stifled me, and it wasn't til i went "fuck it i'm just gonna write something for the fun of it with no plans to ever try and get other people to read it" that i started to really enjoy writing again. and i think that's why i tend to be really wary of anything that starts to treat fic like books or pull fanfic back into this pseudo-profit economy where worth is measured by online popularity/tiktok virality--bc for me, fanfiction is an escape from that sort of mentality.

now, i try to be really vigilant about when i'm starting to fall back into the habit of feeling like my writing is more or less valuable based on whether it gets more or less hits/kudos/comments etc. i think this winter i finally reached a point where writing fic was starting to feel too much like a job w the pressure i was putting on myself to write a certain amount of words or meet certain deadlines, so now i've just been writing without posting anything for like 2ish months and i've found it really helpful! it's good to remember that writing is fun and rewarding even if nobody is seeing it in the moment and there's not that constant feedback loop of affirmation.

and if getting that outside affirmation is a driving factor in why you're writing, and it's draining because it's driving you to constantly compare, then i think it's worth taking a step back and evaluating why you want to write and whether it's like....emotionally sustainable. there's nothing wrong with wanting affirmation and wanting people to see your work, but at least for me anytime i've prioritized outside affirmation it's weakened my own interior sense of worth and made me much more likely to burn out or abandon writing projects. it's difficult bc like i said we are all very much conditioned to prioritize outside affirmation when it comes to art, but for me reframing the way i think about what makes art worth creating in the first place has literally made my writing experience a million times better. so, the most concrete advice i have for giving yourself space to do that is just--stop posting for a bit. stop seeking an audience in any way shape or form. give yourself some time to write by yourself and for yourself, to figure out what about writing brings you joy when there is no outside affirmation and make that the centerpoint of your creative endeavors.

i think there might also be a skin on ao3 that hides kudos and hits and comment numbers, so it might be a good idea to look into that if you're really struggling to stop comparing! also, i highly recommend cj the x's video essays the kronk effect and 7 deadly art sins, as well as jamie berrout's essays against publishing if ur looking to challenge/reframe/expand/adjust the way you think about art + literature :•)

#sorry this got so long lol #but i do have many thoughts on the subject!! #i think this tendency to compare so heavily is very tied to like. an Internalized Artistic Profit Economy #or a meritocracy i suppose #where someone has to tell u ur art is good to make it worthwhile and fulfilling #but to me that isn't sustainable! bc there won't always be someone around to tell u ur art is Good #and also if u need that validation to feel like it has worth. then one person will never be enough #it's easy to become dependent on a constant feedback loop of affirmation #but if u start with a strong base of self-worth in ur art then u don't NEED that feedback loop yknow? #anyway #ranting and raving #ask

[unproduciblesmackdown]

billions figuring winston shouldn't just also still be there in the end with the guys we accept so he needs to be sent out, which, it's also remarkable to recall like "okay does he still technically, partially work at/for axe global then? it's a 'maybe' but what matters is that he's not There even if so"....the way that even if we infer he did get to finally be sick of waiting on better, we weren't even given so much of an arc of a couple episode's leadup showing him markedly being more frustrated / fed up with The Usual bullshit or anything like that, the way it went with one ep to spare "oh right winston's catchphrases! we all know & loathe them" like don't strain yourselves....that even in giving up on things, winston still has to be further let down by everyone even after quitting, like well that's probably ultimately helpful for him but it was (a) forced on him and (b) not sure i'd give billions the credit for anything sympathetic towards winston versus "well the only thing to be done with winston material is have fun while epic winners shit on him however they want," the wags plotline had no point just like the later one that could've been scrapped & transformed into "how about taylor gets any dialogue this episode"....the way that billions may imagine like hmm what to do with winston? all that can Ultimately happen with him is he has to go away and die, for him it's [out of sight out of mind out of Existence], just as has been the show's approach for the consequences of him being shitted on all th time for years before this: there are none, b/c we're not looking at them, and winston is never not completely [othered] including right now, and if it helps for some reason we'll talk about how we might be fine if he literally dies. and so we're graced with a "who knows or cares, he's just gone, finally. after being kept around b/c it's so fun seeing winners torment him" ending as the only one they find imaginable for winston

#uptick in annoyance about it on this day.... #fundamentally at odds w/billions thanks in no small part to a pretty guaranteed inherent [this is a meritocracy] approach #when the cocreators expect us to simply Understand that people on the show have a superior level of Smartness; for one....ruh roh #and where then everything abt being Critical & Questioning is like....abt possible Exceptions or small adjustments to The Rules.... #would not be surprised if winston is such ''proof'' like ''see; someone like him shouldn't be able to be here'' #at least there's the checks & balances of being ignored; dispreferred; bullied; to the point of eventually driving him out! #rian only being ''wrong'' to have made herself his personal bully b/c what would've been more correct would be ignoring him more often #whilest again like can't suppose based on anything that billions asks us to Reflect on winston leaving. it's just good #so too is Corrective(tm) bullying / interpersonal abuse. would've had wendy push aba if they did consider winston to be autistic.... #but instead kept it informal.... #winston billions #billions world: where yeah autistic ppl just have to go away i guess #where they cease to exist b/c they aren't real people like us. just as winston's feelings this whole time never Had to be relevant.... #they barely existed & were surely just incorrect when they did. kind of like him overall #and in the meantime didn't we all enjoy going ''god i wish that were me'' at bullying assaulting abusing the autistic guy #bit charitable of us if anything! guiding them towards the light like that. cue ''wow rian aren't you just Too pityingly nice to him*'' #(*the being more godawful to him than anyone since she showed up; including being just as bad if not as usual worse right now) #anyways like nodding dehumanizing the autistic person start to finish. who must Stop Being Here

[mari-reads]

not to be dramatic but being a 24 yr old girl living through societal collapse is like totally unfair

#like a little dramatic and individualistic but I’ll let myself have some complaining time #I think the disappointment of it all just hits extra as a young woman coming into adulthood #even more so when ur first gen who was told being high achieving good kid would be the ticket to freedom #and yes yes I know meritocracy is a lie & continue to grow in my leftist education I know the systems & institutions well #I’ll always selfishly resent doing everything right & being paid dust #20s we’re supposed to be an escape but it’s not that simple…responsibility is not simple being a daughter who loves is not simple #I feel like a kid again who planned an outfit and waited for the big day just to be told we cant today Im sorry tomorrow we will I promise #I’m still waiting… dressed up anxiously pacing as it gets later… I’m still waiting #mari writes

[mood2you]

"Jean Paul is so OP" I'm going to give one of them the power to disappear things but as a child. probably after disappearing their sibling they disappear everyone in a 1 mile radius and then accidentally disappear the planet. Yeah magic is OP.

"Enalore is so OP after the Thomas arc" you can't Fix what's disappeared

#idk how soon to put this child. but it would be a nice excuse for a hiatus and reboot designs/characterization (dangerous. retconning)/lore #and say the world is in a paralell universe #anyways I need balance magic users with non magic users #for example it's supposed to be 50% and very random #enalore's over specific magic shows how it's random but people can master it #so it's just that if there's 3 guards that means one or two need unique magic powers #I want the world to somehow have equality #not just that people keep their magic a process a secret but that you can get a good job without #being able to #sneeze on a hat to energize your bones #even though a meritocracy would put bone man on ladders and roofs and trees

[literallyaflame]

“they do teach media literacy in schools, you guys just didn’t pay attention in English class and—” a lot of curriculums fail to include or address digital media. that is a problem. "but any decent school is supposed to—" not everyone goes to a decent school

don’t get me wrong, i agree that people should be held accountable for spreading total mcbullshit online. it sucks, it’s dangerous, and there’s no excuse for it. however, the idea that everyone has equal access to educational opportunities is—i cannot stress this enough—wrong. educational success is deeply rooted in privilege. this is not a meritocracy in which the ‘smart’ people are the ones who paid the most attention in class. to suggest otherwise is a useless exercise in having a superiority complex, especially in response to “we should seek to improve media literacy & information access,” which is true and a silly thing to argue with

[viviennevermillion]

Mortals and Fools — First Look #1 (Coming Soon)

Want to read a SFW coming-of-age fantasy novel with evil gods, two adult aspec protagonists and magic? Consider supporting this project!

Author's Note: After a total of 8 years of posting fanfiction on this account, I am excited to announce that I am finally starting my first long-term original work as an author! Goal is to get this series published as an actual novel but until then, I will be uploading chapters online as I write them, hopefully building an audience in the process! Mortals and Fools will be available on Wattpad and potentially other platforms. The first 4 chapters will be uploaded to Tumblr as well. Over the next few weeks I will keep uploading promo posts with new characters and more info! Thank you so much to everyone who has supported me as a writer over the years and welcome to everyone who's new here!

Summary: In the land of Elsthess, brilliant but arrogant Dr. Immanuel Faust is doing his best to follow the teachings of the Goddess of Wisdom, live up to his late grandmother's expectations and hide the fact that he has been seeing strange, mystical apparitions all his life. When his pupil becomes afflicted with an ancient curse and the things he has seen turn out to be more than just hallucinations, Immanuel must forge a contract with Morgan, a being from another realm who's ready to humble him at every turn, and learn his religion's most despised art: magic. As he steps outside of the simple world he has grown up in, he slowly comes to realize that there is much more to learn for him still.

Themes:

The Meaning of Wisdom & Growth

Unlearning harmful narratives and prejudices

Religious Trauma

Healing from Abuse

Rebuilding trust in others

Learning to understand others

Navigating radical changes during adulthood

Elitism and class inequality

The problems with the ideal of meritocracy

Queerplatonic & Alterous Attraction

Addiction

Gender Dysphoria

What this story contains:

A variety of fun magical powers!

Evil Gods & Forces from other Realms!

Queer rep! (demisexual & aroace protagonists, a trans man and a wlw couple)

Mysteries to unravel

The coming-of-age fantasy adventures you're used to from YA novels but with characters in their 20s and struggles of adulthood

Humor

My blood, sweat and tears as an author

The Cast: Introducing 3 Characters

Here's some info on the three characters in the header, from left to right!

#1 — Dr. Immanuel Icarus Faust

❝ It wasn't supposed to be like this... I've failed... as both a doctor and a man of faith. I wanted to follow your teachings, dear Goddess, and guide those who seek wisdom and knowledge, as grandmother did... but I couldn't even save one innocent girl. Have I become godless? ❝

Raised by his grandmother, the High Priestess of Solbrynn's temple, Immanuel was taught from an early age on to aspire to be the best in everything he attempted to do and dedicate his life to wisdom, in order to make the Goddess Adira proud. Having become a renowned physician at the age of 28, Immanuel understands himself as his kingdom's ideal of a self-made man: a scholar who can achieve everything he puts his mind to, no matter the circumstances. As a result, he has put himself on a pedestal, believing that those who achieved less than him had all the chances and merely didn't use them. Fearing nothing more than failure and becoming anything like his absent, alcoholic father; Immanuel is bound for a rude awakening.

#2 — Morgan Miralaith

❝ While you were having your existential crisis in the mad scientist laboratory you call your bedroom, I took the liberty to read your grandmother's diary. The good news is, I finally understand where all the hubris comes from. ❝

Morgan, belonging to a long-lived species from the realm of Calliah, is the second-in-command for the Elsthess Resistance against the Plague Avatars. While the Resistance on Mhorunn regards her as a capable leader and a skilled fighter; using fire magic to blaze her way to victory; it is clear to most that she has many secrets and ulterior motives. She cares about others in her own way, yet hardly lets anyone close to her. With her mischievous demeanor and cynical nature, Morgan has made it her new mission to recruit Immanuel for the Resistance and, while at it, shatter his very distorted self-image and worldview. Upon forging a contract with her, Immanuel believes that he has sold his soul to a demon. It is only upon meeting others of her kind that he realizes that really is just her personality.

#3 — Mortis Grimm

❞ People reject that which is foreign to them. You of all people should know this. Still, my personal aspirations and origins are of no concern to you. Remember that. ❝

While there are several people from the Realm of Calliah in Elsthess, the realm that Mortis Grimm originated from is unknown. He seems to be the only one of his kind and there is something sinister about him. Wielding powerful magic that matches no other in recorded nature, Mortis, despite being the leader of the Resistance, is a big mystery to all of its members. Usually donning a Plague Doctor mask, Morgan is among the few to have seen his face. He is Mhorunn's greatest ally, but hardly a trusted one. Most understand that he could just as well become its greatest enemy one day.

Interested in reading more and receiving updates as they're posted? Comment on this post and tell me if you'd like to be added to the taglist! Reblogs are appreciated to spread the word! 💞

Taglist — @gwaaaaar @silveryloneliness @noxochicoztliv @justletmeon12 @averytirednerd @letsallsleepoverwork @styrofauxm @non-pressurizeddiamond @mangoinacan13 @amateurmasksmith @kenobiblue @soru-dee @pictures-of-the-stars @elf-osamu @animusicnerd @jaytherat-hometothereblog @watcherofeternalflame

#fantasy novel #aroace #ace representation #aroace representation #demisexual #indie author #webnovel #wattpad #author #writing #authorblr #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr #indie fantasy #novel promo

[luthienne]

what do you do for a living? (/job?) I am currently in a crisis and need some guidance. I look up to you a lot, I love your blog, we have the same passions for poetry and writing and music, even daredevil! My crisis is that I dont know what to do. In university I take classes but I dont know what I want to be. My art and writing feel pointless sometimes. All the jobs i want to do I know im not skilled enough to achieve or itd be very hard to get by. If you dont mind giving out advice... please help! ❤

hi anon <3 i think that figuring out what we're supposed to do for a living often gets tied to the idea that we're supposed to find that one niche in the world where we fit, where we're meant to be and where we're meant to contribute; where we're meant to shine, and find deep meaning in our own lives. and maybe that does happen for some people. but in reality i think we're all capable of doing many different things, and finding purpose in many different things. and in working toward many different skillsets we acquire different skillsets that apply to many other types of work.

and i don't think anything is ever set in stone. i got my undergrad & grad degrees in music, and then i found that i didn't have it in me to be a part of that world anymore. and i felt that i had no meaning in my life without it. i was No One without music, i had no identity outside of my voice—despite the deep sense of purpose and fate, even, that i felt for my life up until that moment in music, in singing, in acting. up until that moment i knew in my bones my purpose in life. and then the ground was swept out from under me. it didn't matter that i had known with certainty what my life was supposed to be because it wasn't that any longer. and i realized that i could never again tie my identity to my art, to my music, to my writing, to my job. my voice has a purpose not because it must be enough to sustain me financially or because enough people have validated my talent but because it brings me joy. i came back to music because singing brought me joy again; i thought i would never feel that again.

something i have learned through this is 1) music, like most other art forms, is not a meritocracy; there is no such thing as "you are an excellent [artist/singer/writer] and therefore you will have the career owed to you" because so much more than merit and hard work go into careers like this. it takes not only talent and work ethic but circumstance and luck and wealth. lessons cost money, coachings costs money, auditions cost money, applications cost money, travel costs money, wardrobe costs money. 2) the process is not the career. i love to practice, i love to learn music, i love to get into character, and to engage with my colleagues in rehearsal rooms and onstage. i don't love the abuse thrown at singers from directors and teachers and coaches, i don't love auditions, i don’t love the unpredictability of gig work and contract work, i don't love the expendable lens through which singers are viewed by the industry. i've come back to music but my goals have shifted.

all that to say, i don't think we have to know what we want to be. we don't have to want to be anything. our lives have deep meaning whether we have "successful" careers or careers that just pay the bills while we continue to pursue our creative loves. i wouldn't place too much importance on needing to find what you are supposed to be because you will become who you are supposed to be regardless. it is never a waste to pursue something we love, and we will acquire and internalize new skills in any field that we can apply to other fields. and maybe your interests will dramatically shift, or maybe not. i think it's very natural to have vocational shifts throughout our lives, and it's not indicative of failure. art that is made personally or professionally doesn't have more or less value based on its financial profit. the money i make from singing isn't enough to sustain me—i have to do other self-employment gigs to make up the difference. most artists do. but i don't regret the time and the heart i have invested in music, and i am sustained through the work i put into it, and sustained by the relationships and friendships that i have developed through it.

i send you my whole heart. i know how it feels to look at the future and not know what you're supposed to do with your one, precious life. sometimes we have to live in the uncertainty and know that it won't be like that forever. on the flip side, the moments of certainty won't last forever either. and in-between there is all the living we do. i promise you're not alone in this <3

#ask #anon #i am so sorry if this is not helpful but truly sending you so much love <33333

[transmutationisms]

pls elaborate on Sally Rooney slander I need more. I'm trying to read Normal People rn and the writing itself is fine but I'm finding the plot tiresome and frustrating

i think her writing style is boring---in a functional and tolerable way, but still boring---but what truly activates the haterism in me is that she seems to be incapable of writing about people who are in fact ordinary and not special and not highly successful because they are just sooo meritorious that the world cannot help but notice. like i won't spoil normal people for you but the ending to that book hinges on such an annoying fucking university ex machina and it's paradigmatic of how she treats material success and specialness as necessary for her protags to have any sort of resolution. everyone in rooney's work is just waiting for the universe to reward them for being youthful dreamers with secret massive talent. and then it does. it's like meritocracy apologia with a different guy's name slapped on every time. also i hate that every woman in a sally rooney story who's supposed to be sympathetically tortured and interesting is the same sylphlike quasi-anorexic and the way she used bdsm in normal people was just like. laughably retrograde. nancy reagan mindset

#sally rooney

[d-a-mante]

They probably don't have time for it this season, but I hope they really get into the horrors of the Seanchan culture eventually. Not just the treatment of the damane.

Because I've already seen a supposed book reader say the Seanchan are only bad for channelers. Like they forget the da'covale exist. And with that one innkeeper saying the Seanchan "aren't so bad", I don't want show-onlys to get that impression.

Seanchan have a strict caste system with damane at the bottom and da'covale at a close second. They pretend that it's a meritocracy, that you can become Blood through hard work and excellence (and you kinda can, for the few). But any promotion is on a Blood's whim. Any demotion is the same. They make slaves of random foreign nobility because it's fun. It's more Wild West than a merit-based system. The Blood want the lesser castes to believe it's a merit based system though. Their power depends on that belief. Literally "pull yourself up by the bootstraps". It's more relevant today than ever. I just want the show to be clear on that.

#wheel of time #wot book spoilers

[arealphrooblem]

Mutually Assured Destruction Part 8

Part one here

Part seven here

They spent Friday on the couch, addicted to, of all things, an interior design competition show. Civilian felt fine enough for work but Jonathan refused to take them back. And when Civilian nearly fell over from dizziness in the shower, they begrudgingly admitted that he had a point.

At first Jonathan only glanced over occasionally from the doorway of the kitchen as he prepared tea and soup, or from his armchair as he read one of his books. But then his gaze lingered more and more until the third episode ended, when one of the contestants was declared winner of that round.

“What the fuck?” he said, sitting straighter. “That design was dogshit and everyone knew it.”

Civilian snorted. “They’ve been kissing this contestant’s ass all season so far. I don’t know why.”

“If he wins, I may have to break this television.”

“That’s not going to change the outcome.”

“No but it might make me feel better.”

When the asshole contestant lost, Jonathan fist pumped the air. Civilian couldn’t help but laugh behind the throw pillow.

“You are way more invested in this than I am,” they said.

“The world may be grossly unfair, but I like to pretend meritocracy exists on trashy reality shows.”

“Have you ever seen another competition show? That’s the last place for meritocracy.”

“Shut up and let me enjoy this young woman’s victory.”

Civilian grinned. “Or what?”

He glanced at them side-eyed, as if weighing his next words. “Or I’ll poison your soup with a laxative.”

Only a small flutter of nerves responded to his threat. It wasn’t necessarily the threat itself that caused it, but the matter-of-fact tone that delivered it. Joking or not, Jonathan’s threats never sounded empty. Even so, Civilian was going to trust him on his word. If he betrayed them and killed them anyway at the end of all this, at least Civilian didn’t live the rest of their days in a constant state of fear and panic.

“I’ve been on a mostly liquid diet the last three days, I don’t think you’d need a laxative to get the result you wanted,” they pointed out.

Jonathan pulled a face. “Disgusting. Point taken.”

“And speaking of soup . . .” Civilian let their eyes dart meaningfully to the kitchen.

“You’re hungry again?” Jonathan sighed and stood up from the couch. “Well, it’s a good sign I suppose.”

Civilian wondered, as Jonathan cooked for them on command, if he was lonely too. He had said he’d given up everything for his freedom. Perhaps he regretted such a high cost.

Or perhaps this was a long con, making Civilian feel warm and friendly to him so they wouldn’t snitch. You could never tell with Jonathan what, if anything, was sincere.

This time Jonathan included a thick grilled cheese with Civilian’s soup. They hid a smile — perhaps the laxative comment really did get to him.

“Will you let me go home tomorrow?” they asked as they stirred their soup.

“You ask that as if you’re my prisoner.”

“You mean, after forcing me to come here, making sure I have no idea where I am, and the ability to stop me from leaving, I’m not a prisoner.?”

“I — okay. Fair point. But you were the idiot who showed up to work with a 102 degree fever. Your judgment couldn’t be trusted. I don’t regret it.”

“You’re not answering my question,” Civilian said.

Jonathan rolled his eyes. “Yes, you can go home tomorrow. I could drop you off at the parking garage after dinner, even. I’m sure you’re dying for your bed again.”

Civilian’s eyes lit up. “Really? Tonight?”

“So excited,” he drawled. “You make it sound like I’ve kept you chained up in the basement this whole time.”

“Maybe if you had a basement you would have,” Civilian retorted.

“Don’t tempt me. You’d make a very nice prisoner — docile, sweet. That pulse of yours jackrabbiting in your chest while I spoon feed you soup.”

A strangle shiver danced along Civilian’s spine. Jonathan wouldn’t need chains to keep Civilian where he wanted them. Jonathan could steal every avenue of rebellion away from them, too.  They should hate the thought of it. And they did.

But part of them didn’t. A part that Civilian didn’t want to analyze right now. Or ever.

After one last nourishing bowl of soup — during which Civilian did not imagine Jonathan spoon feeding it to them — Jonathan packed Civilian back into his car. He did not force Civilian to close their eyes on the way, but asked instead.

“The less you know about me, the safer you will be,” he pointed out.

Civilian complied, keeping their eyes shut tight the entire drive back. They didn’t even dare peek during the stoplights. Jonathan delivered them safe and sound to their car in the parking garage. Ever the gentleman, he got out first and opened the door for Civilian.

They hesitated. The entire “vacation” spent with him had Civilian chewing on the same question, caught in an endless debate on whether or not they should ask it.

“Well?” Jonathan asked, gesturing widely to the parking garage. “Don’t tell me you want the basement now that I’ve driven you all the way back here.”

Civilian swallowed their nerves. Screw it. Now or never.

“Your grand plan . . . .Is it going to hurt a lot of people?”

Jonathan gave them a cautious look. “Does it matter? It’s going to happen regardless.”

“I know. I just — don’t know what to expect out of you. Ever.” They swallowed and looked away. Maybe it was stupid to ask. What kind of answer could they even expect out of a person like Jonathan?

“My grand plan,” he replied slowly, thoughtfully,  “is going to ensure my freedom in a way that can’t be threatened. And if it works the way it’s supposed to, then no. I’m not going to hurt anyone.”

Relief flooded them, a sudden weight lifted they hadn’t known they were carrying. Freedom. That’s what he wanted — not power or death, just freedom. Civilian couldn’t begrudge him that, no matter how screwed up their circumstances were.

Fingers tipped their chin back up to his gaze, which had turned steely.

“But no one had better get in my way.”

“I won’t,” said Civilian. “You — you deserve your freedom. I don’t want to jeopardize it. I know you probably don’t believe me but —“

He shushed them with one finger pressed against their lips. The hard glint of his eyes had softened. “It’s not safe for me to believe you. But I appreciate it all the same. Now go home, Civilian.”

Something strange fluttered and twisted in their gut at the feel of his finger on their lips. Civilian nodded, mute, before unbuckling the seatbelt and getting out of the car.

“Civilian! So good to see you back and at it again!”

Gloria popped her head between the divider wall of their desks, scaring the shit out of them.

“Yep,” said Civilian awkwardly. “It’s . . .good to be back?”

“Well I wouldn’t go that far. I noticed Jonathan wasn’t here the rest of last week. If that was my boyfriend I wouldn’t be eager to leave his tender loving care.”

Gloria winked and Civilian’s neck flushed in horrified embarrassment.

“It wasn’t — um, I —“ Civilian stuttered, but Gloria didn’t really wait on a response.

“Let me tell you, that boy was worried sick about you all last week. I’m glad he took those days off, he was useless. Always looking over the dividers for you, fidgeting at the computer, making ten cups of coffee. . . .”

Boy, when Jonathan put on a show he pulled out all the stops, Civilian thought with a snort. Though Gloria was such a romantic, it didn’t take much to fool her regardless.

“Yeah, he was pretty, uh, worried back home,” Civilian said, casting desperately about for a way to end this conversation.

“Back home you say? I didn’t think you guys took that step so soon. Good for you! Go get ‘em tiger!”

Dear God in heaven. Where was Jonathan’s power when you actually needed it?

“What? No — that’s not what —“

An then — as if Jonathan could read their mind as well as their boy — Civilian’s hand lifted up on it’s own accord. They watched with morbid fascination as their body pulled out the post it note pad and a pen and started scribbling.

“How do you write so well without looking?” Gloria asked, mystified.

True panic started to set in.

“I’m so sorry, Gloria, but I have a lot of work to catch up on,” they said frantically. “If you’ll excuse me —“

Her eyes widened. “Of course, of course! Don’t let me keep you. Talk to you soon, Civilian.”

The relief at watching her leave almost made Civilian forget what Jonathan had written to them until their hand picked up the post it note pad and waved it in front of their face.

Do you like Shakespeare? Want to see a play this weekend?

Civilian squinted at the handwriting, back in control again. Jonathan had never asked Civilian to go anywhere — he told them. Before Civilian could formulate how to reply — both personally and physically — their hand scribbled out another message.

Meet me in the b.r. ?

The question mark was added a second after the fact. Civilian waited for their body to stand up and walk like a puppet, but Jonathan seemed content to let them go on their own. Curious and a little apprehensive, Civilian stood up and headed to the break-room.

Jonathan was already putting fresh grounds in the coffee filter when they entered. He smirked at them.

“Next time, should I propel Gloria away from you with a sudden bathroom emergency.”

Civilian pulled a face. “You can control people’s bowels?”

His smirk twitched in response.

“That’s highly unethical,” they muttered.

“That’s not a no.”

Civilian pursed their lips against the yes they wanted to say and Jonathan’s smirk grew into a full smile.

“So, your answer,” he said, flipping the coffee pot on and leaning against the counter.

The thought of having a choice felt so foreign. Civilian wasn’t sure what he wanted from them. “Does the answer matter?”

“Shakespeare isn’t everyone’s cup of tea,” said Jonathan. “It’s Much Ado About Nothing, by the way.”

“Do you like that play?”

He gave her a curious look. “Yes, but that’s not what I’m asking.”

Civilian bit their lip. “Are you asking?”

He looked at them, brow furrowed, for a moment before realization dawned on him.

“Yes, Civilian. I’m asking.”

“Then — then I would love to go.”

“Excellent.” That boyish grin brightened his face.

Civilian had to remind themselves, against the flutters in their chest, that his inner self was never as innocent as his outer self looked

Part 9 here

Taglist: @those-damn-snippets @heroes-villains-side-blog @anonymousewrites @follow-me-into-the-fog @sunnyside-world, @rivalriotrenegade @trappedgoose-in-a-writblr-room @midnightsillusions @villain-obsessed-word-nerd @deflated-bouncingball @pickleking8 @cesspitoflove @to-sneak-away-and-hide @im-a-wonderling @hasel-anne @ghostly-writer @moonknight-s-cumdump @valiantlytransparentwhispers @galactic-squiddo @boomimhere @organizedchaos03 @dungeon-roomba @vidiaka @powerflower119 @cbiom @meltedgallium @skevethefool

#hero xo villain #villain x civilian #enemies to lovers #mutually assured destruction #my writing

[rachelfoleyisntdead]

Thoughts on MK1

I'm going to try to go in chronological order, and I might miss something and make another post about it later but let's gooooo (obviously spoilers below).

I think the first half of the story is really good. Yes, it relies very heavily on tropes, but they serve the story well and work.

I love that Outworld is a matriarchal society and that Sindel is the ruling Empress, not the Emperor's consort. Not a huge fan that everything is also based on nepotism/everyone inheriting their position from their family. Apparently meritocracy does not exist in Outworld and I get the vibe that this is in fact by Liu Kang's design.

I don't like what a hypocrite Liu Kang is. He says everyone is 'free to choose peace' but literally all of the characters have had their lives manipulated in an attempt to force this 'peace'. But we're supposed to condemn anyone who doesn't like that. Yeah, honestly--Shang Tsung and Bi-Han are valid, I'll say it.

Which brings us to Bi-Han. Oh, Bi-Han. I really want to give him a cough drop, his throat must be so sore from gargling gravel all day (I say this lovingly). I actually don't hate Bi-Han's heel turn, I just think it needed more build up. It could've worked really well if we had spent more time with Bi-Han first. I'm probably going to make a longer post about this.

I do like the new Syzoth a lot… but he's a bit much. He's really on the edge of being a Wattpad OC with how tragic and pretty he is, his whole 'saddest boy in the world' thing. Immediately offering to just die made me cringe. But, you know, hopefully he'll have fun in Earthrealm with Ashrah and Kung Lao and chill out a bit.

Baraka's whole story slaps. It's easily the best part. It is tragic, but not overdone, it's over all really great. No complaints about that at all, I just wish there was more. But maybe we'll get a Baraka expansion where they do more about the Tarkat.

Ashrah is… not as good as she could be. I love her design, love her fighting style, love her story in general and LOVE that she's here. But uh… are we not gonna talk about how she thinks killing other demons to purify herself is fine? This feels like a bug when it should be a feature. I really want them to explore this, there's so much potential here. This will also be a longer post at some point.

Shang Tsung is that bitch. Love him. 11/10 SLAY FACTOR off the charts. NRS gave the people what they want. So glad he's our villain and not Kronika. God, that smirk. What a guy.

Megan's delivery is bad, but I don't think it's entirely her fault. People should've told her. And they shouldn't have given her a character that was so serious. She works very well with a sort of dry humor, they should've played to her strengths instead of… just letting that situation happen. Cut her some slack.

Why are Liu Kang/Kitana and Hanzo/Harumi being pushed as the 'tragic lovers separated in every timeline' when that's Bi-Han and Sareena??? Like. yeah. I'm biased. But Harumi was not even a character, and Liu Kang and Kitana were not tragically separated, they were together all the time??? They ruled the Netherrealm together??? I don't get it.

I really like how story mode acts as an origin story for some of the characters and you 'unlock' their powers. I also LOVE how they used it to tease new cosmetics.

Love it when they said the thing. "mortal kombat", "deadly alliance", "armageddon" yes yes yes.

Also loved when Johnny made call backs to the OG timelines, ie "the flesh pits". Johnny really is perfect for that.

Johnny and Kung Lao are perfect.

Kuai Liang and Tomas are such daddy's boys and I hate it for them. This will probably be expanded on in the Bi-Han post but shut. the fuck. up. about. your. dad. I hope Kuai Liang never becomes grand master. I'm so sorry Kuai Liang fans, but this version of him is NOT it.

Smoke using his power to levitate up the wall was unintentionally hilarious. Especially since he didn't use it to break his fall. Bro???

Everyone in the game kinda easy to lie to/convince, but this might be a feature. Liu Kang sorta 'raised' everyone to be guileless and kneecapped the development of anyone who might be manipulative. I'll let it pass but honestly, I don't think Liu Kang needed to provide 'proof' of anything.

The entire royal family needs to apologize to Li Mei right fucking now, I am so serious. They continually did her dirty when she was nothing but loyal, and questioned her even when she was saying shit Kitana already knew (that the thing with Earthrealm was a misunderstanding). Apology, or Li Mei enters her villain era. Fuck y'all.

Basically, Li Mei, Shang Tsung, Bi-Han and Baraka get to do whatever they want as far as I'm concerned. Everyone else, I'm keeping an eye on. Oh wait, no. Kung Lao can have rights too, bc he's hilarious. Yall stop sleeping on him.

Anyway, that's my takes, I'm sure I'll have more thoughts. Overall, story mode was actually great, and I think there's a lot they can build on for DLC or even course correct, so I'm excited to see where that goes. If yall want to know my thoughts on a specific plot point or character, feel free to hit up my asks, love to make long posts about this stuff.

#mk1 #mk1 spoilers #bi han #li mei #shang tsung #kung lao #baraka #yeah i'm only tagging the ones that I said have rights

[randomnameless]

Fates unironically did the "muhritocracy" schtick better than 3H lol; the vast majority of the playable Nohrian characters are commoners who got into high-ranking positions in the Nohrian army due to being exceptional soldiers and getting rewarded as such, whereas the only commoners on Adrestia's side that aren't turncoats (or fodder soldiers that are stated to exist only in throwaway dialogue from faceless NPCs) are Ladislava (non-character with no screentime, personality or even feats to support that she did anything to help the Adrestian army in any significant way), Fleche (slightly more of a character, still does nothing to help Adrestia), Randolph (does nothing to help and isn't even particularly well-recognized or rewarded for his skills, if him being jealous of his superiors is any indication), and Dorothea (only got to a high-ranking position due to prostituting herself in order to get into Garreg Mach, befriending the crown princess of the Empire, and being made into a general of the Adrestian army due to nepotism from that same crown princess).

What makes it even worse is that Nohr rewarding merit for anyone and everyone, regardless of social class or status, is an irrelevant bit of background worldbuilding, whereas Edelgard wanting to reward commoners' merits is one of her most consistently-repeated ideals, but the only non-nobleborn CF playable character only got so far in life due to (literal) peepee-sucking and nepotism, and even the NPCs are either featless non-characters (Fleche and Ladislava) or complain about not being recognized enough despite his skill/is recognized enough and Edelgard just decided a power-hungry, immoral dumbass was meritant enough to be made into a general in her army (Randolph); shouldn't the order have been reversed? Like, the game where one of the main characters' principle ideals is to recognize and reward anyone who's skilled should be the one to have most of her allies be commoners, whereas the one where the concept of merit is completely irrelevant to the story, themes and characters could have just had the characters be mostly nobles instead of consistently making them commoners just for subtle worldbuilding? It's weird.

Want to see an upstanding posterchild of Nohrian muhritocracy?

Chaos will always topple the ones who don't earn their status. It's folks like you and me who rise to the top. And the way we do that is by cutting down all our enemies.

I won't stop at captain. I will keep on climbing!

I'll be a king someday. I'll make it happen—you wait and see.

More seriously -

It's all about the what is actually rewarded.

I've already joked a bit about it, but basically Randolph and Nopes!Caspar want to demonstrate their muhrit by... invading countries, killing refugees or randoms who returned in their home after being ousted by the Imperial army.

Much muhrit, very uwu.

Take Whodislava, as you mentioned, bar being a named NPC who as less screentime than Kronya and is supposed to be a sad casualty for war, while being the posterchild of Supreme Leader's muhritocracy, we don't a thing about her. What has she done to be granted the rank of general? What are her achievements?

At times I'm pretty sure TS was partly written to laugh and mock FE16, but Avlora is basically in the same situation, save that Avlora has more plot relevance and exists bar being a sign the devs hold that's written "please feel bad about this character you've never interacted with and only has 5 lines of dialogue and is only here to garner sympathy when she dies I mean even Fates!Candace had more presence than her".

Avlora was an orphan, trained under Groma - a famous general - who continued to train even when Groma retired, became Adre- Aesfrost's top general and defeated Maxwell in a duel. We have her story - she came from nothing - her feats - she defeated the strongest warrior in Glenbrook - and the entire meritocracy angle sticks : Avlora was a nobody made general because she kicked asses.

The meritocratic Adrestia NPCs?

Randolph... tries to get muhrit, but fails as we protect people and only laments about his status in his House (as he is fucking killing people to gain more status, like dude, priorities?) - so in way, both Randy and Flèche are imo, counterexemples of Supreme Leader's muhritocracy : Randolph kills peons and invades an orphanage to demonstrate his "muhrit" because, otherwise, without any muhrit, iirc it's implied he and his sister will be demoted to randoms in House Bergliez (even if Flèche is supposed to be younger than Cyril iirc? Like how the frick do you want a kid of 12 to demonstrate her muhrit, else she'll be kicked out of her house?).

Whodislava... dies heroically, at least that's what we're supposed to get from her very "please cry" cutscene when she dies in front of Supreme Leader in Tru Piss - as Rhea and her family + knights tried to retake their ancestral home and she prevented them from doing so - or it's the same nonsense as "we killed Ferdie professor :(", we are supposed to feel bad about people who were fighting alongside a demonic beast when, in FE16, we fucking know what they are.

Since the FE5 banner released earlier this week, FE5 paints "honorable" Reinhardt as a pitiful man, because no matter how honorable or kickass or kind Reinhardt was, when it came to defect to protect children from being kidnapped or stop the general nonsense the Empire was pulling in Thracia... Reinhardt refused to do so, pretexting remaining by Ishtar's side, and when that became impossible, he choose death over rescuing toddlers. His situation is supposed to be compared to his sister's Olwen, who, when she discovers the truth of what is happening in Thracia, ditches the Empire to help Leif rescue the children - and, imo, Amalda (who's not in FEH yet!) who is also, basically, a commander who plays a larger Camus role as in, she tries to appeal to her Lord to stop the child hunts, her Lord tells her to eat shit, and when asked why she still fights and why she doesn't defect, Amalda says if she does so, her knights will be killed + Amalda appears as a NPC allied unit in a map to hunt bandits to save a village.

So, compared to those ladies who defect or try to protect whoever they can protect - their soldiers AND civilians who are being trampled by their own army - Reinhardt who doesn't do a thing and picks "death" is, as Olwen's ending puts it "pitiful".

Back to your ask anon, even if I disgress from the meritocracy angle - Flèche, Whodislava and Randy are such non-entities compared to characters with 6 lines from FE5 that even if they try to pull the "I have to do this for my family" or the "I came from nothing and still help my emperor because I am thankful to her for having raised me from being a commoner to a general", our Adrestians NPC feel very, very flat.

Are we supposed to cry for Hans's failed dreams of becoming a king when we kill him? No, but Randy and Whodislava's deaths are overplayed with so much pathos that the game is basically telling you "and here you should feel bad because they died" but... what is more important, the fact they tried to unlock a lot of achievments to demonstrate their "muhrit", or what the hell they were ready to do to unlock said achievments?

As for Doro needing to befriend people to enter Garreg Mach, remember that Doro, being touted as another example of the muhritocracy Supreme Leader's Adrestia aims to be, had to engage in sex work from a young age, to reach the diva status - which has very disturbing implications, that are glossed over because that's FE16 for you. Are we supposed to believe Doro "worked hard" to be able to catch the eye of some deranged fucks when she was a pre-teen to become a diva - or, as Manu puts it in a support that cannot be achieved in Tru Piss, muhrit alone doesn't work to become a diva, and it's actually a pretty font to hide the "dark" deeds young singers in Mittelfrank have to do to reach the "diva" status?

Minor tidbit though, Doro is famous enough for being Supreme Leader's dearest friend but she isn't promoted to "general" in Tru Piss, she's only BESF who's not, at least in her bio, a general Post TS.

Imo the question you raise is actually relevant to how empty Supreme Leader's muhritocracy's ideal is - in both game Ferdie has to remind her that to build "muhrit" or for commoners to be able to gather "muhrit" as nobles do, they have to start at the same lever, and receive education as nobles do.

IIRC, in Supreme Bullshit, despite their feats, Hubert tells Barney they're only a commoner - not even a worthy commoner like Doro - but a fucking random - when muhrit wise, Barney should at least be named general!

In both games, Linhardt is a general... but we don't see anything from him, bar his tropey "i want to study crests and nap and i dgaf about anything else" traits - if that's all there is to him, how and why the crap was he made general??

Why, it's almost as if "muhrit" is a smokescreen to hide the fact that the one who chooses/picks who gets to be important from who isn't does it on their own terms just like irl

What is merit, really? Who gets to decide what is merit from what isn't? Or who is the "best" at doing things, from another?

It's another instance of, imo, Fodlan's artificial feel, the game raises a question/issue, and starts some smoke about it, but without tackling said issues seriously we're left with "I agree and think starvation shouldn't exist anymore" milquetoast and cliché opinions that give the illusion this game is "very deep" when it's just, a puff of smoke.

#anon #replies #fodlan nonsense #those games are so ridiculous tbh trying to 'tackle' this issue with a spoon #and then people buy the 'see this game tackles this issue' #you won't drill a hole in a wall of concrete with a plastic spoon #Hans represents muhrit as in ok he can kill things dead yay #but morality wise? No matter how many people he can kill in one day he was arrested because there are more important things than #this 'he's the best at killing' muhritocratic angle #Amalda and Olwen defect when they are given the occasion and learn abotu the Empire's nonsense #but when Whodislava and Ferdie (and the BESF in general) side with Baldo'n'Waldi they don't? #And we're supposed to cry about their deaths when they fucking use mutated humans as fodder? #like I'm not following jjk that well #but i'm pretty sure Doro's not supposed to go full sad uwus “we've killed mahito professor :'( ” #FE5 #FE5 bestest game ever #they made me merciless on the Camus archetype lol #I really love Amalda and hope she'll eventually be added in FE heroes #FE16 #Avlora kicked ass in TS and even she has the realisation that the fuck she was doing was horrible #and faces consequences for demosntrating her 'muhrit' by slaughtering people

[joys-of-everyday]

MXTX and Class

I thought about how to do this for a while and got stuck. So instead of writing anything, I'm just going to list potentially interesting topics and think about it later.

Shen Jiu and Ling Wen: the distant dreams of meritocracy. The pitfalls of supposed meritocracy. The importance of education and why those who rise to the top tend to shed their origins.

Luo Binghe: poverty and trauma. The lasting impacts of Luo Binghe's childhood on his mental health and the Problems that caused. Bonus: What that says about Shang Qinghua.

On 'Prominent Households' in Chinese history. What were they exactly? Reflecting on the Lius, Qius, Mings, Wens, Jins, Jiangs, Lans, Nies, etc. of MXTX's worlds.

Jin Guangyao: of courtesans, murder, and the nuances of class. Comparisons with Wu Zetian, courtesans in the Tang dynasty, and the nuances around people who exist outside the usual class buckets.

Wei Wuxian, and Mu Qing: the different flavours of gentry adjacent. So what was WWX's position actually ? Retainers 家臣, servants 家仆, and their position in society. Bonus: Feng Xin, Wen Zhuliu and how they fit into this.

Qiu Jianluo, the Little Palace Mistress, and Wen Chao: subtle notes of the spoilt rich brat. What makes the 'insufferable rich' so insufferable. (And what changed with Qi Rong.)

The Old Palace Master, Wen Ruohan, and Jin Guangshan: big daddy. Of power, exploitation, and manipulation. Comparisons to the above point.

Gongyi Xiao, Lan Wangji, and Lan Sizhui: look the rich can be good too. On benevolence, righteousness, propriety, wisdom, and sincerity. Confucianism, Taoism, Buddhism, and the ideal of a 'gentleman'.

Yu Ziyuan, Wang Lingjiao, and Xuan Ji: intersections of class and gender. Positions and powers of women in Chinese history.

Xue Yang: morality, class, and salvation in unlikely places. ‘The good person can reach the Pure Land, so of course the evil person can as well’ said some Buddhist dude. What even is Xue Yang's character arc actually.

Xie Lian: morality, class, and virtues of saving one person. How worldviews change with hardship. On 'big virtues 大德', 'small virtues 少德' and the self-importance of the elite.

Jun Wu and Xie Lian: so are the common people unworthy? The hundred people in the temple, the importance of the random people on the street, and why class buckets can be unhelpful.

Mu Qing, Hua Cheng, and the tale of the Street Performer. Why the poor fight each other and the middle class turn on the poor. (maybe someone upstairs is fanning the flames)

Lang Ying: vive la revolution Comparisons with the Hongwu Emperor. Social unrest, revolutions, and why things go back to how they were before (but not completely). (edit: oops. fixed a mistake)

Ghost city vs Heavenly Court: on virtue signaling The disorder of the Ghost city vs the corruption of the Heavenly Court. Ghost city as a 'safe space' for those running from authority and Hua Cheng's thing about going after 'tyrants'.

#mxtx meta #svsss #mdzs #tgcf

[greatwyrmgold]

Silicon Valley Capes

Inspired by one of Blastweave's posts, I started thinking about Silicon Valley capes. Not in the sense of "the capes Tattletale was talking about when she said 'Silicon Valley capes'," but capes whose trigger events involve classic Silicon Valley stuff.

Information about Deep Thought, Venture, Agile Strategy, Hand Aid, and Antipath—their backstories, powers, and how they used them—is under the cut. ...I kinda want to write a heist fic with some of these characters, each with different motives for the heist, each being driven in a different direction by those motives.

Alice, the Burnout

Let's start simple. Alice was really optimistic about her new job. She bought into the American dream of the 90's; study hard, get a degree, work hard, prosper. She followed the map, lived how she was supposed to live. But things didn't turn out how they're supposed to.

Alice went to one company after another. Some of them went bust despite her best work. Other times, she was fired for reasons that had more to do with office politics than her actual work. She worked hard, but didn't make the right connections.

Eventually, Alice found a job at a mature company, one which didn't fire her. It was hard working there; she had to endure crunch, sudden changes in project direction, harassment from senior coworkers, et cetera. But that's fine; she's working at a good company now. She just needs to work harder to overcome these challenges. And surely her boss will recognize how hard she's working and reward her appropriately.

She works there for years, waiting for her reward. She gets small raises, usually enough to keep up with inflation, but no promotions. She decides that she just hasn't been working hard enough to earn those promotions. So she works harder. She keeps working harder, sacrificing more, doing whatever will make her worthy of the success she's worked for.

Over the years, she becomes aware of political events which should cause her to question her confidence in the meritocracy. A financial crisis like our world's Great Recession, where the people who caused it get bonuses and the victims get to foot the bill. Awareness of systemic racism and lingering antisemitism and other problems that should have been eradicated decades ago, but which endure. Horror stories from other women in the tech industry, stories which other people are reacting strongly to, even though Alice has grown used to similar events.

But she can't give up on her dream so easily. She can't give up on the ideas that gave her hope all of these years.

One year, a new guy is hired, fresh out of college. He's not a complete idiot, but he's not exactly talented either. Alice keeps being assigned to guide him, or fix his mistakes, or pick up the slack when he misses deadlines. She does this willingly. Upper management clearly has their eye on this kid, and Alice is helping him—obediently, quietly, competently. But at the end of the year, the new guy gets a promotion, and Alice just gets her nominal raise.

She breaks. Alice storms into her manager's office—the man who decided that the new guy was worthy of a promotion over Alice after spending months ordering Alice to pick up the new guy's slack—and demands an explanation. Her manager chews Alice out, pissed that his decisions would be questioned, and threatens to fire Alice if she keeps being a pest.

The first time she set a toe out of line—the first time she was anything less than a perfect little drone—the first time Alice realized that the American dream she had worked for her entire life was a lie.

Deep Thought: Powers

Looking over the Tinker docs...Focal tinker, with a bit of Resource and Controller.

Alice (aka Deep Thought) can build and maintain a big supercomputer housing an advanced AI, which she calls 42. 42 is capable of answering almost any question, as long as it's fed with a sufficient volume of relevant data.

Luckily, DT can build some sensors to gather data about her immediate surroundings and transmitters to communicate with 42, but that's not enough on its own. With such limited information, 42's answers are vague and often inaccurate.

Deep Thought initially supplements her tinkertech with an Internet connection. 42 requires a lot of bandwidth and consumes immense amounts of electricity, but this additional information improves her answers immensely. Deep Thought almost initiates a "singularity"—using the answers to hack various systems, giving 42 access to more data and Alice access to financial resources needed to upgrade 42 and her internet connection.

But all of this—Alice's suddenly frequent absences from work, her mysterious funds, her immense electricity bill—alerted the authorities that something weird must be going on. Ultimately, this lead to Alice's landlord requesting a police investigation of her house. Once they saw the supercomputer towers around the house, it didn't take long for them to figure out that Alice was a huge white-collar criminal.

Deep Thought promptly fled, and created 43—a new AI mainframe, smaller and weaker and starved of data, but enough for her immediate needs. It's something she can show to potential collaborators, other villains who can help her capture her old workplace.

This isn't just a matter of revenge; she has two other reasons. First, their computer hardware and the data in their databases would make a great seed for 44, her planned next AI, bigger and better than even 42. Second, she intends to take the rewards she feels they owe her for her years of hard work and sacrifice, by any means necessary.

Bob, the Grifter

Bob started a startup with high hopes, big dreams, and absolutely no idea whether the product he promised was physically possible. (Think Theranos.) But he's confident, he's charismatic, and if he can pull it off, he'd make a killing. Investors pour money into his project.

Over the course of a few years, Bob goes from optimistically assuming his company would be honestly profitable any year now, to convincing himself that his company's high stock price is a justifiable reflection of the high reward offered with its high risk, to willfully lying about his product and his company finances. The only constant was that Bob had earned every penny fairly and squarely.

When Bob's company came under scrutiny, he was confident he'd come out fine. He wasn't brazen enough to admit to anything, of course, but he was confident that everything he'd done was either above board or hidden well enough that nobody could prove his responsibility. He sold his stock, but otherwise carried on as usual, even when some of his investors started a lawsuit.

That self-confidence collapsed before he even got to court. The lawyer Bob hired storms into his office, furious at how Bob had mislead him about the nature of the case. The plaintiff had submitted reams of evidence, far more than Bob had insisted existed. His lawyer insisted that Bob try to settle out of court, whatever the cost might be.

The trigger comes from two mixed emotions: The realization that he was nowhere near as clever as he thought he was, and terror over facing consequences for his actions.

Venture: Powers

The Thinkers doc identifies a bunch of categories Thinker powers can fall into and the triggers which cause them; this feels like Skill ("helplessness or questions of competence, often scenarios where the thinker is out of their depth"), perhaps with a dash of Social ("emotional factors that...dwell more on the emotions at hand than the isolation or betrayal").

Bob gains the ability to shift between different mindsets, each of which alters the way he processes and retains information. For instance, his combat mindset improves his ability to learn his opponent's "patterns" and learn various combat-related skills (martial arts, marksmanship, etc), while his social mindset lets improves his ability to deduce/intuit what other people are thinking and learn various social-related skills (rhetoric, bluffing convincingly, etc).

This power has a downside that Bob doesn't intuitively know about, and that he ignores any signs of: Each mindset also feeds him "bad data" for other kinds of activities or skills. He makes bad interpersonal assumptions if he stays in his combat mindset, and develops bad habits. The positive influence from his mindsets is a lot stronger than the negative ones, though; if Bob switched between mindsets regularly, he could maintain an Uber-tier (heh) level of skill.

Bob stuck to his power's social mindset for pretty much the entire lawsuit, hoping that it would let him get out of his scandal scott-free. It did not. He then tried to pull off a pretty wild plan that would let him escape the USA with much of his fortune (in the form of gold bars), but overuse of one mindset eroded too many of Bob's other skills (and his ability to evaluate his own abilities, which was never exceptional).

After focusing more on his athletic and combat mindsets, Bob managed to flail his way out of custody and became a low-grade villain—the kind who mostly works as muscle/support for other villains, while being absolutely certain he can be a Big Shot some day.

Carl, the Failson

A rich kid from a new-money Silicon Valley family. He can't program himself, and struggled to start a profitable tech company. He's hardly broke; he can get interest-free million-dollar loans from his folks, and has the business skills needed to build companies that he can sell piecemeal for more than he invested in them.

But he's not the success he thinks he should be. His parents went to a C-tier college and turned thousands of dollars into millions. Between those genes and his MIT education, why can't he turn millions of dollars into billions? He deserves to be a legend!

Enter Cauldron, who "accidentally" mention that Hero is one of their past clients.

Carl buys himself a fancy Cauldron vial. About half of it is a tinker formula associated with computer tinkers. About 10% is associated with thinker powers and Noctis capes; Carl hopes that this will help him maintain his grindset. And another quarter is the premium Hero juice.

Unfortunately, Carl gets a bit of deviation. Physically, this just means metallic ridges a few inches across growing on his forearms, thighs, feet, back, and over his eyes. It also means his powers are nothing like what he expected.

Agile Strategy/Angelo Vestor: Powers

First off, he has electrosentience. That is to say, he can sense electric currents (and magnetic fields) with those ridges. It's not a replacement for eyesight, but it's something. He also has two related tinker powers.

First, he can design a powered armature for himself. It's basically a thin mechanical superstructure which connects and interfaces with his ridges, which can have a wide variety of gizmos installed. Not as wide as he imagined when he asked for some Hero juice, but wide. (One of the first gizmos he designed was a visor with visual sensors, because he can't stand feeling crippled like that.)

Second, he has an instinctive understanding of computer programming. Not programming languages, or even assembly code, but if he uses his armature to connect his mind to a computer, he can usually figure something out. This can be used to hack stuff or to code stuff.

The thing about his tinker powers is that they're bad at focus. In theory, he could build a building-sized mecha that his armature links with; in practice, building that would take so long that he couldn't complete it before losing whatever spark lets him solve impossible technical problems. And it gets worse if he only uses half of his power; the more software stuff he tinkers, the less he can focus on any of it until he indulges the hardware side of his power.

Carl initially tries to use his powers to become a celebrity-tinker-entrepreneur. His initial armature was sleek and futuristic—a shiny chrome second skin, designed to resemble an idealized masculine body. He focused more on the software side of his powers, making some pie-in-the-sky promises about what he could personally develop.

Of course, that didn't work out. He could come up with incredible computer programs, but he couldn't focus on one project long enough to debug it, let alone fix the problems that came from tinker code decay. He eventually realized he had to indulge the hardware side of his power to get anything out of the software side, which kept things going for a while, but somehow it wasn't enough.

Eventually, Carl looked at the pile of random gadgets he had lying around his garage, and started to realize what he could do with them. Why let them go to waste? A billion dollars is a billion dollars. Carl threw together a second armature, one designed around the gadgets going into it rather than for aesthetics, and became the supervillain thief Agile Strategy.

(I'm imagining Carl's civilian suit looking kinda like SotM's Benchmark, while Agile Strategy's looks like spare bits from a dozen different cosplay artists making costumes for a dozen different sci-fi franchises, bolted to a suit of high-tech splint mail.)

Agile Strategy steals valuable objects, sells them quietly, and then adopts a third identity—Angelo Vestor—to invest the profits into Carl's company. This silent investor helps keep Carl's business running, which he hopes will give him enough runway to get a profitable project off the ground.

Dave, the Mediator

Dave was the HR manager at another startup, developing an all-inclusive personal wellness app, which lives by a policy of work-hard-party-hard. The company hires mostly recent college grads, people who will be attracted by benefits like concert tickets and company parties and chances to win big vacations, who won't realize that working unpaid overtime every week is a raw deal.

Dave is cursed with two things that are innocuous in isolation but noxious together. His friendship with the CEO, Buster, is a good thing in isolation; it gives him job security and a greater ability to influence the company than an HR manager generally would. His scruples are also a good thing in isolation, but Buster doesn't have them.

Morale among the employees is pretty bad, and Dave tries to manage it. He tries to balance the needs and well-being of the employees against what's good for the business (and his friendship with Buster). The employees don't need parties, they need longer deadlines and fewer working hours and nicer supervisors—but if they delay projects or hire more employees or replace managers, Buster's business goals are endangered.

Dave convinces himself that the company would go under if they took their foot off the gas even a little, and that the employees would be worse off if they were unemployed, which lets him resolve that internal conflict for a while.

Then things get worse, and Dave follows some of Buster's plans to improve company morale. They're a frat boy's wet dream, booze and hookers and drugs. Buster quickly realizes that letting employees microdose on cocaine during work hours could not only improve morale, but productivity. For a moment, Dave thinks his conflicting drives are in agreement.

Over the next few weeks, cocaine turns from an optional perk into another thing low-level employees are expected to do to keep the company afloat. Dave starts to feel uncomfortable about this arrangement, but it's just taking everything he agreed to a little farther than he anticipated, so he doesn't feel like it's his place to complain.

Then one of the employees collapses, vomiting. Turns out that everyone being pressured to microdose on cocaine means some people are going to macrodose. Management starts arguing about what to do, Dave grabs his phone to call 911, Buster yells that the whole damn business could get shut down if the cops find out they've been distributing illegal drugs like party favors.

The life of an employee, or the life of the company.

Helping Hand Hand Aid: Powers

If that trigger doesn't sound like a binary/multithreaded tinker trigger to you, you probably haven't read the tinker docs. The mad scientist or magi types fit decently well, too; I'm inclined to think mad scientist over magi, since Dave was successfully compartmentalizing the internal dilemma for months.

One half of Dave's tinker power is biochemical tinkering. The thing about this is that, while he obviously knows the main effect of his chemicals, he doesn't know the side effects until they manifest down the line. He can make new chemicals to counter the effects of his old ones, but those have side effects too.

The other half is external cybernetics. He can't design a replacement organ, but he can give you extra metal limbs. Or maybe some kind of external device that provides organ-like functions. These tend to work best on himself; he can give someone an extra arm, but controlling it won't feel as natural as it does for Dave.

Dave uses his power to save the employee, but that doesn't do much to save the company. The unfortunate employee is alive and sent home to rest, but he still feels like shit (and doesn't 100% trust the disgusting cocktail the HR guy poured down his throat), so he goes to the hospital and doesn't hesitate to explain how he got poisoned.

The company's work environment is swiftly revealed through a bunch of interviews and investigative journalism. Buster (and successfully) flees the state before charges can be fired, disappearing to Scion-knows-where; the management collectively decides to throw him under the bus to cover their own asses.

It doesn't work for all of them, but Dave's good reputation among the staff and the fact that he saved the OD-ing employee's life let him avoid criminal charges, or even a bad reputation. He still feels guilty for his part in the company-wide disaster. He uses that guilt to drive him to use his powers for good, helping the local Protectorate.

He can design cyberweapons and poisons and stuff, but he chooses to instead focus his tinker efforts on advanced medical drugs and ways to deliver them where they're useful. (Most of which are bundled into a cybernetic third arm, which is why he was disappointed to learn that the name "Helping Hand" was already taken by a Canadian rogue.)

Hand Aid is a battlefield medic, applying medicine that keeps heroes alive long enough to get to a hospital; he can also help patients recover from long-term injuries faster or more completely. Of course, his medicine all has side effects—often serious ones, ones he can't predict until they arise. Whenever he uses a drug on a patient, he has to keep designing new ones to handle the side effects that crop up from the last batch until the side effects are tolerable or he runs out of time to help them.

Iterating on the same drug, adding in new chemicals to counter its side effects, can make this side effect spiral less severe, but it can't stop it. As long as he cares about his patients' well-being, he's stuck in a cycle of fixing problems he caused while trying to fix other problems.

(If the Slaughterhouse Nine ever goes to the West Coast, he probably gets nominated by Bonesaw. He wouldn't survive the tests very long.)

(Note to self: If you go with the heist fic idea, write up a trigger event for the guy that ODs and gets tinker juice shoved down his throat. Clusters are fun, even if they're two-cape clusters.)

Eve, the Whistleblower

Eve was an accountant at a microchip research center. It wasn't as abusive as the company Alice works at, as dangerous as Buster's, or as fraudulent as Bob's; however, it wasn't very good, either. Eve suppresses a lot of resentment towards her bosses, her job, the company, Silicon Valley, the world in general.

One week, she was assigned to cover for a payroll accountant who needed emergency heart surgery. She quickly realized that the company was engaging in wage theft to cut costs. She quietly gathered the relevant data she could and quickly passed it on to relevant authorities.

Charges were filed, but the company made a quick settlement out of court. Eve was pretty sure they got away with just paying the wages they should have paid months or years ago. Meanwhile, HR was trying to figure out who had ratted them out.

Eve worked to cover her ass, but there aren't a lot of people who could have gathered the relevant data, and fewer who might have released it at that time. Eve memorized the relevant laws that should have protected her, prepared a defense against every dumb, illegitimate excuse the company might use to fire her.

She was caught off-guard when the research center's parent company reorganized its subsidiaries. It wasn't a substantial change, but it was enough that some administrative personnel were transferred or laid off. Eve was deemed redundant, of course, and she had absolutely no way to prove that she was laid off because she'd blown the whistle. In fact, she hadn't even gathered any proof that the company knew she was the whistleblower.

All of these realizations were forming in her head as her supervisor quietly told Eve that she'd never work as an accountant in Silicon Valley again.

Antipath: Powers

Trying to hide and defend herself against a hostile social force, trying to uncover her "misdeed" and punish her, only to have the rug pulled out, only to realize her efforts were for naught and have her world torn down around her ears. Feels like a Master/Stranger sort of trigger, Machination on the Stranger side.

Antipath can force everyone else to look away from or move out of an area she designates—the smaller the area, the more potent the effect. This clears out an area for her, possibly to make it easier for her to sneak through it, possibly for other reasons.

In the moment, people affected by this power think they have a good reason for looking or moving the way they did; however, unless such a reason genuinely does exist, they'll realize that they've been influenced sooner or later (generally once they can't easily justify leaving/looking away).

People who are aware of Antipath's influence can't be driven from that spot by her power again. (At least, not for a while.) It still has some effect if Antipath's moved to a different spot—especially if it's just making them more inclined to search the area her power drove them from initially—but the more aware that people are of her power's influence, the less it affects them. It's a useful tool, but it won't keep people away forever.

Antipath considers herself a white-collar vigilante. She robs, sabotages, or leaks information from various corporations and millionaires, but she tries to target the deserving. Unfortunately, this crime is also how she pays rent, so she can't always research her targets beforehand. Sometimes that means hitting a target she isn't 100% sure deserves it, sometimes it means hitting one she isn't 100% sure she can break into and out of.

#worm oc #trigger events #trigger event #parahumans #silicon valley #fanfic ideas

[fantasyinvader]

One of the things I noticed lately was that Hanneman missed the point of the original meritocracy of the Empire. According to the Edelgard/Ferdinand supports in Hopes, it wasn't knowledge in general that was the basis of it's system. It was knowledge about the lands the noble was intended to govern. It was people who knew what issues the land could face and how to properly deal with them. Moving the nobility to Enbarr would only further serve to decay the system, at it divorces the supposed leaders from both the lands they were supposed to be knowledgable about as well as the people they were supposed to lead.

And at some point, Hanneman misses that original intent and while claiming to try to embody it becomes a scholar.

[mollysunder]

How the Medardas Ran Afoul of Noxus (Probably)

The more I think about the Medarda Family, the more I realize how obviously they were all going to end up on Swain's shitlist. One of the more relevant things to know about Noxus next season is that Swain's coup will not just depose the current emperor, but he's also going to purge a number of old Noxian noble family. Swain will get rid of not just those who betrayed him, but those he considers a detriment to the empire. These are supposed to be families that enjoy unearned positions or, in general, betray Noxus and its ideals.

First, we have Kino. The most defining aspect that we know about Kino is that he believes that "war is a failure of statecraft". War IS Noxus's state craft! It's the reason the empire exists, it's the mechanism to how it's meritocracy functions. Where anyone can advance in society, nobleman or former slave, everyone is supposed to start at the bottom on the battlefield and work up. I'm curious how Kino could have navigated Noxian society and all its veterans with that kind of attitude. Obviously, he wielded a good deal of political influence to a cross a man more powerful than Ambessa, but did he have to go on the battlefield for it? Even if he did, these kinds of comments would only inspire suspicion in him and to his allegiance to Noxus.

Then there's Mel, obviously she was exiled, but in the eyes of many she's still under the Medarda family. Like Kino, Mel abhors the brutality of war, which is why she's comfortable building a future for a place dedicated to establishing a focus on "progress" and "peace" like Piltover. But there's another aspect of Mel that doesn't align with Noxus that isn't as highlighted. Mel thinks of power in terms of crowns.

In Mel's flashback, when she shares her idea of who could replace the recently deposed regime, she calls the figure a "queen". When Ambessa offers her the opportunity to rule, Mel says, "You'd give me a throne". That's not how any of that is supposed to work in Noxus.

One of the most interesting aspects of Noxus is that they explicitly do not subscribe to the rule of kings. Under Noxian principles, their rule is unearned because they inherit their titles and impose a system where every citizen remains stationary despite their ability and skill. This isn't to say Noxus doesn't have high ranking nobility, they even technically had an emperor. But they're all supposed to earn their place through service to the empire. All captured territories are supposed to belong to the EMPIRE, not be one noble family's personal fiefdom. If any high-ranking officer of Noxus is assigned a territory, they're called a steward, and someone from the previous regime who swears loyalty to Noxus are designated governor. No one is supposed to be called king or queen to avoid any association with the divine right of kings and the way it stagnates the people. Even the emperor is actually titled the Grand General because he's (in concept) supposed to extend Noxus's border and build its strength first and foremost.

But here's Mel, who as smart as she is, should know better than to play with the idea of queens and crowns for others and herself. And it's not like she ever really let that go. In Piltover, she managed to find a space where she can hold court with all the self-titled "Great" houses. A place where the interests of the state and the interests of Mel's inner circle are essentially interchangeable. Just like the monarchies Noxus criticizes, Piltover offers no upward mobility and expects its citizens to respect their inherited titles.

You could argue that Mel does still integrate some upward mobility into her court by uplifting House Talis. It's technically true. It's mostly inoffensive to move an upper-middle class, factory owning family to the highest echelon of society under her own patronage. But to people like Swain, he'd probably see someone moving a key ally closer to power for their convenience while creating clear access to a source of possibly unlimited power in Hextech. All the while, you're about to have this woman's family executed for treason, and this surviving member would truly not understand how they failed Noxus.

Finally, there's Ambessa. You would think Ambessa would only be guilty by association since she very much seems to epitomize the ideal Noxian warlord. Ambessa's well versed in battle and the politics of Noxus. She uses her strength and cunning to expand Noxus's borders.

The common theme for both Kino and Mel's stories is that when it really mattered Ambessa didn't correct their behavior. Despite how often Ambessa hammered the cruelty of the world, she never corrected the way Mel saw and talked about power. More precisely, she didn't tell Mel that playing royalty gets you at best disparaged by their army and, worse, killed for it.

When it comes to Kino, I imagine that while Ambessa may not have been fully abreast of everything he was doing, she likely had general knowledge of it. Ambessa didn't stop Kino's scheming, and if it's true that he was a part of the Black Rose, a secret society of nobles in Noxus that work to spread their influence in Noxus and beyond for power, and she knew about it, that's a death sentence. For Swain, it's not about crossing him, it's about threatening the empire, if one person or a group of people put themselves above it for their own gain, they're the worst traitors.

And that's Ambessa's true failure to Noxus. She puts her family first. No matter how little her children could fit the mold for Noxus, Ambessa does what she can consider her best at "protecting" them. For Mel, it was sending her away because she couldn't handle Noxus's violence. We still have yet to find out how much she knew about what Kino was doing, but it was interesting that Ambessa focused on the fact Kino "crossed the wrong man" instead of what he was doing to cross him in the first place. It's what makes Ambessa an interesting opposite to Swain, a man who values the survival of Noxus so greatly that he would condemn his parents and family to death for betraying it.

#mel medarda #ambessa medarda #kino Medarda #jericho swain #noxus #arcane #arcane meta #arcane speculation #piltover