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intersexbookclub · 6 months

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Discussion summary: Trans-Intersex studies

On 2023-09-29 we met to discuss our first foray into academic intersex studies! We read three chapters from Transgender and intersex: Theoretical, practical, and artistic perspectives, edited by Stefan Horlacher (2016).

Overall reactions:

Dimitri: I liked there were perspectives I don't normally think about or see

Elizabeth (@ipso-faculty): I found the Costello chapter really useful because I've wondered why there isn't more trans and intersex connections and this explained it for me

Michelle (@scifimagpie): it tapped into and articulated a larger strain in the queer community “the people who want to have a gender” vs “the people who want to destroy gender, there is a fundamental struggle in that can only be dealt with through tolerance and acceptance

vic: multiple chapters make clear that intersex is made by doctors. This thing happens when you give birth and you don't know what to do and conveniently there’s someone confidently giving you a (usually really bad) answer… we're foisting off this thing that doctors aren't trained to deal with it properly plus have medical arrogance

Connections to Disability Studies

Though the book was intended to get intersex studies and trans studies in dialogue, we made many connections to disability studies throughout the discussion.

Elizabeth: The book talks about the dynamic that the doctors are the ones who socially construct intersex, which is similar to how doctors contribute to the social construction of disability.

Elizabeth: And also how in our society, when it comes to who is listened to most on disability/intersex, doctors come first, followed by parents, and it's those of us actually affected who come last (disability/intersex)

Michelle: it was interesting to see the arguments against eugenic abortion… The amount of eugenicist propaganda that's still around in our society, the text addressing the fact that people would abort an intersex foetus didn't surprise me but did alarm me

Elizabeth: Coming from disability studies I felt the question of who is/isn't intersex isn't actually a productive question, in DS we posed those questions for a minute before realizing it's not productive, to instead focus on ableism

Dimitri spoke about the idea of seeing your body as a garden that you tend to, rather than a machine to be fixed, and how it’s been a helpful framing

Michelle: one thing about accepting my intersex identity is that my body isn't broken for having a hormonal imbalance and it's just a way of being

The social and medical models of disability were invoked by Costello in chapter 4, to show contrasting models of intersex (social vs medical) and transness (social vs medical).

-=-=-

Chapter 1: Introduction by Stefan Horlacher, Pages 1-27.

This chapter gave a brief overview of the state of trans studies and intersex studies, and the motivation for putting these two research areas into dialogue.

We didn’t talk much about this chapter.

Elizabeth: I personally learnt a new word, repronormativity, from this chapter! Per Wiktionary, it refers to the “assumption that all humans want to have children, especially within the context of a monogamous heterosexual relationship”

vic rather aptly described it as “so GERMAN”

-=-=-

Chapter 4: Intersex and Trans* Communities: Commonalities and Tensions by Cary Gabriel Costello, Pages 83-113

This chapter reports on a sociological study of trans and intersex communities on Second Life, noting commonalities as well as tensions between and within the communities.

Everybody found this the easiest chapter of the three to read lol 😅

vic: “I really appreciated the breadth of voices that were included. The author clearly has an argument, but still lets people speak. Like with the person who said ‘I'm not intersex’ and the author was like ‘this could come from fragile masculinity’, it was neat.”

Costello’s conceptual framework

To understand both intersex and trans communities, Costello employs a framework which differentiates a:

Medical framework, in which being intersex/trans is framed as “as a biological problem: a physical lack, superfluity, or malfunction” (p98). While Costello doesn’t use the word “truscum”, this is how many of us are used to referring to people who understand transness through this lens.

Identity framework, in which being intersex/trans is “framed as social in nature: social stigma is directed toward those who are in some way physically variant.”

An important insight of this study was that to understand the relationship between the trans and intersex communities, you have to realize there are four communities at play, not two:

Medical framework trans people (truscum)

Identity framework trans people

Medical framework intersex people

Identity framework intersex people (who are the only ones who use DSD)

And as Dimitri summarized, “the tensions [between the communities] arise in the disorder framework, a lot of the problems lie in the disorder framework, and it's pretty important to make that separation”

In Costello’s study, anti-trans sentiment was linked to the intersex-as-disorder framework

Costello writes about how the majority of intersex people are trained from birth to employ the disorder framework, which can easily result in anti-trans sentiment. Many intersex people are raised in a way where the slightest gender deviance is punished, and feel threatened by gender deviance.

Multiple people noted how the intersex participant “Anna” from Costello’s study had misplaced anger at trans people, that it’s unfair to blame trans people for trans fetish porn when trans people have such difficulty getting conventional employment, and that the demand by cis & perisex people is more at issue

Elizabeth: so many intersex people are told they're intersex by a doctor and that they're disordered and the doctor will fix them so they're not given any community because the doctor is like "I'll fix you" and people are just used to the disorder framework because that's what they've only ever seen.

vic: Yeah, being born visibly intersex getting framed as a medical emergency

Elizabeth: really liked the dig that the shame of the parent comes above everything else

Dimitri: many parents don't know what's going on when their intersex baby is born and they're kinda pressured into the surgeries… the parents might have veered to a more neutral stance on their own, maybe they have some hesitance about having a kid being different, that the surgeries are such a pile-on by everyone around them.... the parents of the kids need their own support, what do the parents need or could have had to make them not make those choices

Similarly, intersexism from trans people was linked to the trans-as-disorder framework

Costello discusses how many disorder-framework trans participants made statements along the lines of wanting to be intersex, or have an “intersex variation of the mind”, mistakenly thinking that this means they may be entitled to free gender affirming therapy (it actually makes it harder to access gender affirming therapy).

Costello explains why this sort of sentiment from trans people is poorly received by intersex people: “It alienates intersex people employing the identity framework by working against their mission to recast physical sex variance as diversity rather than disorder. It alienates intersex people employing the disorder framework by implying that trans-identification [...or] gender-confusion should characterize the intersex person. And the stories told by some trans* people employing the disorder framework about having an impossible intersex history angels intersex people of all camps.” (p107)

Michelle: To be intersex is to have a medicalized gender, and how any gender nonconformity is medicalized… it makes sense why so many trans people would cling onto a misunderstanding of intersex

Michelle: the medicalization of being transgender and you need surgery to fix a flaw in your brain, and the medicalization of intersex, they both need an anti-eugenics approach of let people be a little broken/different

Elizabeth: as a disabled intersex person it's been confusing that trans people would want medicalization like they don't know how terribly medicalized ppl are treated, and the chapter helped me realize they are already medicalized and they're trying to get a more "legitimate" medicalization rather than realizing they’re trying to play a rigged game

vic: transness is medicalized, too–the diagnosis is gender dysphoria and the treatment is transitioning. Also transitioning is only seen as a viable treatment because literally everything else doctors did to “cure” trans people didn’t work (they tried *so* many things). Trans people treating medicalization as something that’s desirable sucks, but I feel so deeply for anyone who was put in a place where that seems like their only option–people who feel like their only way forward is to claim things that don't make any sense. They're like “please, I'll do anything, I'll lie out of my ass, help me”. Those poor people!! And, of course, they also cause harm. It's all so sad.

Criticisms of Costello’s chapter:

Elizabeth: I felt a weakness was not talking about the hypervisibility of trans people vs the invisibility of intersex people. Like trans people who have huge platforms to talk about gender stuff and should know better than to perpetuate perinormative ideas about sex.

vic: transmascs tend to really minimize our own difficulties. We're not well studied, and when we are, the data consistently shows we have the worst outcomes of any gender (in things like health, mental health, employment…). Disheartening to see Costello buy into it at times.

-=-=-

Chapter 5: Transgender and Intersex: Unavoidable Essentialism and the Normative Struggle for Recognition by Sebastian Jansen, Pages 115-140

High level notes

This chapter makes the argument that it’s impractical, if not impossible, to avoid essentialism of some form when theorizing about sex/gender, and so academic gender studies scholars should spend less time trying to avoid essentialism and focus more on improving the material circumstances for intersex, trans & LGBA+ individuals.

vic: I think they were saying that we can't do it because it can't be done without throwing trans & intersex people under the bus

Elizabeth: ch5 was how I realized that in the social [identity] model of intersex where we see intersex as a natural variation it is essentialism and I'm okay with it thanks to this chapter

We all agreed this was a challenging read. As vic put it: “it was very ‘as you know’ and I didn't know”, and that the author was probably nervous about writing it.

Jansen’s chapter got us talking about the nature of gender

Michelle and vic talked about how finding out truth about gender is building houses on shifting sand

Michelle: I liked the stairwell metaphor [that female is one level of a building, male is another level, and there’s a stairwell in between]... I don't like the idea of female and male in opposition, they are categories, you can be both/neither/change

Elizabeth: I did like how ch5 talked about how gender isn't just a thing in your brain, it's made through interactions of people interpreting your gender in interactions and they didn't talk about euphoria and I think gender euphoria is that feeling of people seeing you for the gender you are

Michelle: [Judith Butler’s] gender as conversation reminded me of how art and research are forms of conversation... is gender a form of art?? [we then spent some time talking about this]

Elizabeth: I like the idea that gender should be like hair colour - it's there, you can change/experiment with it, it affects how people see you, but we don't organize society around it and I agree that's a good goal

vic: my gender is contextual - it's different depending on whether in an arts context vs. in interacting with landlord, etc

vic: in War & Peace there are four pages spent describing the beauty of a woman with a moustache–Tolstoy waxes quite poetic about how beautiful & beauty-enhancing her moustache is.

Elizabeth: yeah so many cultures see women's mustaches and/or unibrows as beautiful and hate how current Western culture hates hair

Elizabeth: yeah it's SO RECENT the idea that women shave legs, the Gillette company had saturated the men's market and convinced women that their hair is bad

A main critique of Jansen’s chapter was how it only considered Western perspectives

Elizabeth: ch5 was so Western, based on a mind/body dualism and I wanted there to be a discussion of other cultural constructions, like in cultures without mind/body dualism from what I can tell it's often that trans and intersex are not separated.

We then spent some time talking about different cultural ideas about sex/gender such as Two-Spirit and hijra, and the intense medicalization of transness in Russia

Dimitri described how Russian/Slavic culture is big on repressing any kind of sexuality, and being queer is deeply tied to perversion, which kicked off a discussion of Left Hand of Darkness

Elizabeth: another reason I wanted postcolonial stuff was it'd be useful to have strategic essentialism discussed (Spivak), which seems really relevant to a discussion of essentialism.

Overall we were all glad we got to give our brains some exercise, and we’ll be reading more intersex studies in November! 😅 Join us for a discussion of Holmes’ Critical Intersex on Nov 24.

#intersex book club #book summaries #queer theory #gender studies #intersex studies #trans studies #trans theory #sociology #sociology of gender #intersex books #intersex #book reviews #book review #book summary

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choicesficwriterscreations · 8 months

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September MC & OCs of the Month - Special Edition: Skylar Barnett-Lyons

Help us in welcoming September's MCs and OCs of the month! That's right, plural! Most months, CFWC highlights one randomly selected MC or OC from our Meet My MC / OC List. (More info here.) But this month, we're doing something different.

In August, @lilyoffandoms hosted a Writers Appreciation Month, and we announced the September Writer of the Month would be selected from its participants. But all participants agreed - Lily deserved the honor! Still, we wanted to do something nice for the eleven writers who elected to participate to help uplift other writers in the fandom. So, this month, each of the eleven participants will have one of their MCs or OCs highlighted.

We will introduce each MC / OC individually, and once all eleven have been highlighted, a masterlist for the month will be created. We hope you enjoy getting to know all about them!

The eleventh, and last, but certainly not least OC of the Month is @aallotarenunelma 's Skylar Barnett-Lyons!

Learn more about Skylar below...

In your words, tell us what you like most about your OC.

What I love about Skylar is his complexity. He has so many layers it's impossible to keep a count of them all. People who understand him can be counted on one single hand, and rarer are those who totally get him.

I love how he can be so open and talkative but also so quiet and reserved.

I love how witty and playful he is and how flirty he can be. It counterbalances his kind and overall gentle nature. He's loyal and genuine but also still trying to figure himself out. He mainly struggles with his identity. He's an androgynous person but partially relates to his androgyny. I love to see how he learns how to navigate through this.

Do you feel your OC is like you at all? How are you alike or different?

Skylar is on the non-binary spectrum, as he currently defines himself as demiandrogyne. He has also stated that he is greyromantic and bidemisexual, meaning he is on the aromantic and asexual spectrums.

I belong to these 3 spectrums as well, so while we don't have the exact same experiences, he is relatable to me.

Like me, he is an artist through and through. He's complex like I wrote above but more than I already am. He is still in the process of figuring himself out and it's a great struggle, whereas I don't have this issue.

He's witty, shy, friendly and playful like me, as well as open-minded, kind-hearted and straightforward.

We don't share the same aesthetics and style, I don't drink coffee, I like oranges and he is British-American - I'm neither.

What is most important to your OC? What is their motivation in life?

What is most important to Skylar is to be able to be himself. It's always hard when someone knows themself but much harder when they don't.

He wants to know who he is, so that he can truly be happy. He carries some sadness in his heart because of his identity struggles. The pressure of society is only increasing his struggles of knowing who he is. He doesn't always know what to do with himself and if there's a true purpose in his life.

What are their biggest pet peeves/dislikes?

His biggest pet peeves are:

- Discrimination. More than angering him, it makes him really sad because this pressing on his struggles. Any form of discrimination is unbearable.

- Violence. Any forms of violence and abuse.

- Hypocrisy. He's too straightforward and genuine to understand this, thus accepting it.

If your OC could change one thing - anything - what would it be?

If he could, Skylar would change that society that defines standards and discriminates and hurts people who don't fit into the mould created and forced upon them.

What is your OC’s favorite quote or song?

One Night by Technicolour reminds him of all the road trips he went on with his family, Saini and her mom every summer.

A quote he loves: "An eye for an eye ends up making the whole world blind." - Mahatma Gandhi.

Is there anything else you’d like to share about your OC?

Since Immortal Desires book 1 hasn't talked about MC's life before moving to Crimson Beech, I wanted my MC, Saini (they/them), to have someone very special back where they grew up.

A best childhood friend was perfect and just like that, Skylar appeared and I've been learning to get to know him since then.

He revealed himself to be more complex than I thought he would be and telling his story has been a delight since day one.

I hope you will get to know him by reading my series Vampire Heart and that you will love him as much as I do, which is a ton because he's precious.

Learn more about Skylar here!

#choices fic writers creations #cfwc oc of the month #skylar barnett-lyons #aallotarenunelma #immortaldesires #playchoices

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mariacallous · 7 months

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Now that I'm home, face wiped off, bra off, changed into pajamas, let me tell you about this dogshit meeting.

First, some context: I've mention our overall team director, the one who's been on vacation for easily a month and a half of the total time I've been working for the city (since the end of Feb) and who also as a Reasonable Accommodation to work from home outside of the permitted 2 days per our union and the pilot program the city launched so some weeks she's literally only in the office one day, and then she has so many meetings it's hard to actually discuss anything. She shifts meetings and calendar events all the time.

She is constantly unprepared for meetings - emails sit for months and documents and memos also linger - and she's not only always talking about how overwhelming her email is, but she lets people know *in the meetings* that she is *just at that moment* reading the email or document being discussed.

My boss and I have sent several items to her that didn't get any responses (unless and until we cornered her in the office when she's in the office) and on that Big Project I'm still technically waiting to hear whether it's moving forward, she's been a bigger obstacle to our making progress and doing things than both NYC OMB and the budget and migrant crises, which is saying something. She's one of the biggest reasons why we've had to keep adjusting our plans and the work we're trying to do and she keeps either not paying attention or not being clear with us so we're constantly struggling. It's to the point where our other agency partners are openly asking me "Do you even want to work on this? Are you actually prioritizing this? It's a little ridiculous that we have other offices and divisions asking us to participate and you all keep holding things up and not doing anything".

All this to say that today was our monthly coordinating meeting with two of our key other partners in the agency. We have a lot of projects or topics that we needed to discuss and make decisions on.

Things get kicked off with the bulk of one of the other partner teams not being available, so we were initially going to try to shift some things. Then we got someone and could move forward with the original agenda/list of topics.

Y'all...she was the one who put the agenda together. And she made it very clear that she had basically not read or ignored the email (which I flagged for her! Yesterday!) that the other partner team's lead had sent with all of the details. So she was asking for him to provide and go over stuff that is not only in the email, which I flagged, but which is also now at least a month old from when it was originally sent. And we didn't make a decision. She and I apparently are going to "discuss" this and "get some insight" from program teams in our office/division and then come back.

We then moved on to the next topic, and she was a little incoherent and mentioned the memo that I and my boss and another coworker put together which she has decided now needs to go to senior leadership and which she is editing. A memo that was sent to her *in July*, I want to emphasize. And, again, no decision.

The next topic was The Big Project. And the other team's lead directly asked "Have you guys done anything like we discussed?" and she floundered and I had to jump in and tell him what I'd told him separately, which is no, because we'd been told we were waiting for xyz from senior leadership and so nothing has moved forward except the draft stuff I sent to senior leadership a few weeks ago. And then my boss mentioned the changes we'd made and my boss completely, again, either hadn't paid attention to the emails or wasn't agreeing with us and hadn't let us know until then so she started trying to go back on things and make further changes and I almost lost my shit but fortunately I was muted on the call so no one heard me.

And now tomorrow my boss has scheduled a meeting with me, her, and the overall team director to make sure we're all on the same page. I told my boss that I'm hesitant at this point because of the issues we've had with the director and the other obstacles involved. I also flat out said "If she could read her email and be prepared in advance, it would help. Because this was embarrassing."

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sagethegremlin · 7 months

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since leitmotifs is your thing, I would love to see your personal analysis on the evolution of the ringtone "over the horizon" by Samsung. quite frankly, I think it is a very important thing to analyze, as something so trivial as a ringtone has shaped our view of a phone.

/hj and /lh looool

Ok so ringtones are something that most people never really think about in their day-to-day lives. It's a noise we hear all the time, and something that we most often will take for granted with how much it is "overplayed" to us. Personally, I've only ever had an iphone so I am not at all used to Samsung's ringtone, which I feel gives me a unique perspective on the matter.

So without further ado, I'll take this year by year and then analyze my results at the end

2011 (Galaxy S2): This is off to a great start. We have a good theme, and the percussion behind it is perfect. This is the kind of ringtone you want to have in your pocket. The kind that says "we're in a disney summer movie montage and we're living our best life!" Overall, a great start.

2012 (Galaxy S3): This one feels like it's trying to do too much. It still has the core leitmotif from the first ringtone, but gone are the feel good vibes of the percussion. Every note that is rung in here feels like it's trying to personally attack you, and that's not even to mention the drums! Everything here is too sharp, and the violins come completely out of nowhere. This definitely feels more like what you would expect a ringtone to be, rather then something that makes you smile when you hear it.

2013 (Galaxy S4): OH WE'RE SO BACK. This is definitely more aligned to the feel of the first one, but it also did so much more without seeming like it was trying to! This is the first one that really uses the core theme more like a leitmotif, and treats it as "this is the melody that you're used to, as a little treat, but check out this too!" and that's exactly what it should be! All in all, this one's just lovely.

2014 (Galaxy S5): This is pretty much just like the 2013 one but I definitely noticed that the parts where the orchestra crescendoed were much stronger, giving it a much more prideful feel.

2015 (Galaxy S6): Ok I'm not saying this one is bad, but it kinda comes out of nowhere and has this vibe to it like you're either about to get a news report or witness a major moment in a coming of age edited in imovie. It also just kind of abruptly cuts off? There's no musical resolution here and that makes me sad. :(

2016 (Galaxy S7): This one starts off so good. It's got a good beat to it and we're vibing so hard dude. But then, it uh, uh, it kinda struggles? I get that was how it composed but it honestly feels like someone on a marimba is struggling to keep time and it makes me nervous like girl we do not need these eighth and sixteenth rests in here we are perfectly fine without them thank you (still better than 2015 tho).

2017 (Galaxy S8): HELLO??? GIRLIE WHERE DID YOU COME FROM THIS IS THE BEST ONE YET! THE BUM BUM BAAS??? Anyway this one is genuinely so incredibly incredible. It starts off with a good beat that it continues to keep up throughout, it makes good use of the leitmotif, and there's a bunch of guys vocalizing in the background like who's idea was that that's incredible!!! :D

2018 (Galaxy S9): This is literally just the emotional climax of a coming of age story it isn't even a ringtone anymore.

2019 (Galaxy S10): Oh she wants to be the sims 4 character creator theme so bad. Anyway this one also doesn't really feel like a ringtone but not in a bad way! Girlie is going off in the string instrument department and it is paying off this just feels great. And the way they do the original leitmotif in the chimes at the end? Oh I love her.

2020 (Galaxy S20): This one is kinda sweet and chill. It definitely feels like it's being played on either a sitar or a mandolin, and it uses that to create a very chill vibe. There are no background instruments or percussion at all, so that really just further proves that these are straying more and more away from the sound of a typical ringtone (for better or for worse). I will say, this definitely feels like something I would try to fall asleep to, not like something I would use to remind me to pick up the phone.

2021 (Galaxy S21): She's so pretty??? I would say that this also has a similar vibe to the last one but I like it a lot more. The piano is absolutely beautiful and I really really enjoy it. And even though this also doesn't really feel like a ringtone, I'd argue that it's better at being one than the 2020 one.

(We're gonna stop there cuz I feel like it.)

If I were to rank all of these, I would say from best to worst: 2017, 2014, 2021, 2013, 2019, 2011, 2020, 2018, 2016, 2015, 2012

Ultimately, I feel like something like this is very interesting to look at. We can see overtime Samsung trying different strategies with this and how that reflects on their future models for it. For example, we ended up with most of these reflecting what I've been calling the "coming of age story" vibe, and we notice how they strive to create much more of a beautiful song to listen to than something trying to alert you of calls. All in all, an interesting look at such a mundane part of life.

#samsung #im adding that tag #look at my post boy #sagehavingagoodoltime

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loveislarryislove · 4 months

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2023 Goals Final Results

I know we're more than a week into the new year, but shit's busy so I only just now got around to looking back at my goals for the year and seeing how they panned out. Let's see how I did!

Numeric goals

Minimum goal: 5 fics and 50,000 words over the year

Aim goal: 12 fics (ideally at least 1 per month) and 80,000 words over the year

Ludicrous goal: 15 fics and 100,000 words over the year

I posted 16 fics totalling about 73k words, so Ludicrous by number of fics but Minimum by number of words -- but on the other hand, my writing tracker reports 94k words written, which is above aim, but then again only 79k are Writing rather than Brainstorming or Editing -- let's just call it approximately Aim goal overall. I'm quite happy with that. It's less than last year, but last year was kind of buckwild numbers-wise.

15,000 lifetime kudos

222,222 lifetime hits

1,000 kudos on 2023 fics

10,000 hits on 2023 fics

I fell slightly short on the 2023 kudos, but everything else I smashed! We love to see it. Watching the numbers go up makes my brain go brrrrrrrrrrrt.

General goals

Tracking my writing

Still doing! Wanna see some sexy graphs? Just kidding you're getting them anyways.

I also put all my fics ever into a spreadsheet tracking various things (POV, tense, word count, publication date) and one of the things I found interesting was confirming how little smut I write lmao. It's more than it used to be, but I still don't think of it as really a focal feature of my writing, and that's born out in the statistics.

Beta-reading more

Check! I beta-ed for the PJO Big Bang (which was super fun) and also for a few friends. Plus I've been beta-listening for @pandapodfics, which has been a blast!

Reading-reading more (both fic and non-fic)

Mmmmmm I read some fic, but I genuinely don't think I read a single published book all year. which is a little sad. I just don't have the time to read an entire book in one sitting, and I don't have the self-control to stop XD

Branching out to explore new fandoms or new pairings

I wrote a Series of Unfortunate Events fic for Troped which was really fun! And for my @1dastroficfest fic, I had Larry, Ziam, and Shiall all as major focal ships -- Larry was definitely the foreground, but the side ships were not minor.

Replying to most comments

I think I replied to about 70% of comments this year, which isn't terrible. It could be better, maybe I'll go and do a few more, but I always struggle with comments that are just "this was great!" or a few emojis lol -- I appreciate them, but I just don't have much to say back!

Make a podfic

Make a fic rec of some of my favourite fics

Make a cover for one (or more than one) of my old fics

I still have not done these oop. But I have been helping with Panda's podfic as mentioned, so maybe half-credit? And in the new year I just started @1dcommunityficrecs to crowdsource recs, so maybe that's another half-credit?

Find the executive functioning to put my Wordplay and Troped fics into series

Come up and implement a generic AO3 pseud for my non-Larry non-critrole fics and sort those around

Did these in August! It's a little harder to keep track of things sometimes like what account I'm commenting from, but not too bad, and it feels more organized! In total, I've written 45k for Wordplay (17 fics) and 63k for Troped (15 fics).

Come up with and implement sort of Replying To Old Comments Project so I feel like less of a doof replying to comments from like… five years ago

Still want to, still haven’t.

Next up -- new goals! Or well, some recycled XD

#goals #writing #my fics

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shadowbunnydragon · 4 months

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Question for you! (shadowbunnydragon):

What is your process for creating a story? How do you go from a rough idea/concept to the final written story? What are things you have to consider when writing a story, whether original or fanfic?

I struggle A LOT with creative writing and would love to hear how you do it for your stories. Thanks!

Oh gosh! That is quite the question!

Hmm, okay, well, first I come up with a fun idea, like one about a human boy finding himself in the world of Zootopia and following his daily life and the lives of others similar to him finding a home for themselves, or maybe about an isekai'd former human now in a world of magic and adventure as an OP anthro bunny girl, or maybe even one about a human boy who winds up turned into a mouse and living amongst a tiny hidden kingdom in the woods? (Coming soon! :3)

After coming up with said idea, I of course write it and all info about it I can think of, so I don't forget. I then like to think it over for a little bit, usually while out walking and listening to music or maybe doing something else where I can shut my brain off and just go with the flow for the idea. When I get a general idea for a larger story, and we're talking VERY general, a VERY rough and barebones idea, I add that to the idea concept I've already written down. Then, I like to take some time, maybe an hour, with some chillhop playing in the background, and write out a general outline for the story. How I want it to start, the overall direction I want it to go in, and how I'd like it to end. (It should be noted that any of these could change in small or even major ways during the course of writing. This is just to help focus the idea a bit.)

From there, I like to take a bit to just imagine the world and the characters I want in the story. Does this world have any history? What are its "rules"? What is this character's personality like? What is their motivation for doing the things they do? (A VERY important thing to keep notes on to track during the course of the story, as I have learned the hard way. While you want your characters to learn and grow and be shaped by their experiences, you also still want there to be a logic to it. Example: When writing about Judy, I try to think about her personality from the movie and how she would act in whatever random scenario comes to mind. How would she go about trying to solve X problem?)

I also personally have a love for world-building. I often enjoy listening to music and letting my mind drift as I daydream about these worlds and the things going on in them. You don't need to be as detail oriented as Tolkien, but you do still need to be mindful of the world and how it shapes and is shaped by your characters and events. That is especially true for original stories, but fanfics also can benefit from this as well.

Also, it helps to be open to constructive criticism, as there are a lot of insightful folks out there who can offer a helpful tip or insight. (Though you do gotta be careful to ignore haters and trolls, and also to remember at the end of the day, it's going to be YOUR story, so what you, the author, say ultimately is what goes.)

You should also remember that you'll pretty much be your own worst critic, so please try to remember to be kind to yourself. Any mistake can be edited, a section or even an entire chapter that just doesn't feel right can be partially or completely re-written.

You'll also want to pay close attention to words or phrases you may have a habit of using often, and consider looking up synonyms or trying to come up with different ways to say what you want to say, just to keep the writing from getting too repetitive.

Finally, the old adage practice makes perfect can be applied to creative writing as it can to everything else! This can all seem like a lot, and I'm sure I've forgotten about other useful tips when writing stories, but the more you take the time to work with them on your project(s), the more second-nature they will start to feel.

I hope that this was helpful!

(P.S. You should also try to remember that you are your own worst critic, and that the pursuit of absolute perfection one that, while it can push you to better yourself, can also keep you from actually getting the project done. So when working on a story, or art, or anything really, please try to be kind to yourself! I'm sure you'll write a great story!)

Thank you so much for asking!

#human #zootopia #comedy #foundfamily #fanfiction #the door #the keyhole #ao3 fanfic #adoption #shadowbunnydragon #i'vebeenreincarnatedasabunnygirl?!#animal kingdom come

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violet-prism-creatively · 9 months

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good omens s2 episode reactions: 5

i'm watching season 2 one episode at a time and posting my reactions. e1, e2, e3, e4, e6 (links will be edited in as i post them)

here's episode 5:

aaaaah plot is happening! as much as i liked the minisodes, the plot really does move so much faster without them.

nina is officially single and dancing with maggie! they're very cute. nina is very crowley-coded. when she said she's going to sit alone at home and get drunk, i could practically see crowley thinking "yeah i've done that." nina also has more insight into crowley's love life than crowley himself does. the writers seem to be setting up that crowley and aziraphale will end up together as a couple! they dance together!

crowley is protective even more in this episode! and aziraphale isn't helpless, he just likes to let him because it makes crowley happy. well, not happy exactly. i like the scene where crowley confronts gabriel, telling him that he remembers "shut your stupid mouth and die" and holds a grudge. but then jim tries to jump out the window just because crowley told him to, and you can see crowley's internal struggle. yeah, okay, he'll get jim hot chocolate. while still hating gabriel.

gabriel's memory is in a matchbox! the resurrectionist matchbox that muriel found in the first episode! it's all coming together...

the party is delightful. everyone except nina and maggie falling into jane-austen-style speech patterns is fun. especially the "seamstress." (is that a terry pratchett reference or a normal euphemism?) gabriel/jim explaining that he's offering free food is also great.

i wonder why the austen-ness and aziraphale's miracles in general don't affect nina and maggie. maybe because the point of the ball is to make them fall in love? but they also stay behind in the bookshop when the rest of the humans leave, despite aziraphale telling them with a miracle sound effect to leave. the weirdness of everyone around them being sort of hypnotized into the ball and literally all doing a dance they've never learned could be seriously creepy if played differently.

i hope the humans just forget all the demon stuff. they must be really confused and scared. with any luck, it'll be like the weirdness of armageddon't and it will fade away. rip to the guy who tried to call the police on the demons, a karen but brave for using that karen-ness against the forces of hell.

aziraphale speaking french to the restaurant lady was fun for me to watch. i didn't see what was so amateurish about it, but i also have an easier time understanding slow, english-accented french than understanding a native speaker, so i'm pretty biased.

a few jokes i thought were good: "smited? smut? smitten?" the demon wearing a covid mask and having it ripped off to reveal a grotesque mouth. the angels trying to remember jim and uriel saying "no, it's aziraphale who likes books."

what's crowley's plan with going to heaven? gabriel would probably be safer there than in hell, but the angels don't recognize him. they did that miracle too well! also crowley is putting himself in danger by going to heaven- though i think we're going to see the angel disguise from the trailer.

my overall rating: 9/10. i'm so excited to see the next episode and know how it will end!

i'm actually posting this right before i watch episode 6! i've unfortunately seen some spoilers already but i'm still excited to see how it will play out!

#good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens 2 #good omens s2 #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens s2 spoilers #gos2 spoilers #gos2e5 #gos2e5 spoilers #a violet original

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mykpopwire · 7 months

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interview: TRENDZ wants to share their passion and energy with FRIENDZ through their music

After concluding the story from their [BLUE SET] series with their previous release, Blue Set Chapter. New Dayz, TRENDZ returns with their 3rd single album [STILL ON MY WAY]. TRENDZ shares more behind-the-scene stories about the album-making during a recent interview with global media outlets.

Q: How was the creation process for this comeback?

ra.L: I would say that the creation process of this album wasn't easy, but we are proud of the result that we achieved. During our hiatus, we had to work on the album while we were abroad in Indonesia, Kazakhstan, and Japan. We trusted each other and communicated extensively to complete the lyrics for the album. We practiced the choreography thoroughly together to achieve a great end result.

YECHAN: The music video for the title track was centered around a concept of a movie club. It was something that we have never tried before, so the entire filming process was quite enjoyable as well.

Q: What has been the most difficult thing in preparing for this comeback, compared to your other comebacks?

YOONWOO: While preparing for our previous albums, we usually had good weather, though it could get a bit chilly at times. For this album, we filmed the music video during the summer, so I remember all the members struggling with the heat. However, the director and the staff were incredibly passionate, which motivated us to give our best performance on set. I believe this commitment helped enhance the overall quality of the final product.

YECHAN: Singing on this title track was a new experience for me. I was mostly responsible for the rap verses, so transitioning to a vocalist's role with different gestures was a bit challenging. To prepare, I studied references from other artists and observed how my fellow members handled it. I conducted my own research to make sure I could perform the role effectively.

ra.L (left), YECHAN (right)

Q: Are there any little or subtle details in the music video or the songs that you hope your fans would notice, or would like to point out?

ra.L: In the "MY WAY" music video, the beach scene was a later addition. We filmed it ourselves using our cameras, and we're thankful that the director incorporated it during the editing process. The music video also includes nods to several movies. For example, HANKOOK recreated a scene with Gang Dong Won from "Romance of Their Own," while EUNIL and I reenacted the iconic traffic cone scene from "Her." Additionally, HAVIT and EUNIL brought to life a scene from a 007 movie. These cinematic references are scattered throughout the music video.

Q: How do you feel like you've grown as a group with this latest comeback?

LEON: While preparing for our performances, we used to invest a significant amount of time to get everything ready. However, for "MY WAY", we were able to efficiently prepare a high-quality performance in a relatively short period. Additionally, we put a lot of effort into studying the gestures that would help convey a sense of freedom in our performance. I think these are some areas that we improved on.

YOONWOO: I believe our group has matured significantly since our debut. For this album, which demanded us to convey a sense of dreaminess and youthful spirit, all the members dedicated themselves to rigorous practice. The outcome of our hard work is evident in our more mature and polished performances in this album.

LEON (left), YEONWOO (right)

Q: "MY WAY" is a very positive and passionate song. Can you give us an example of how you professionally and personally have plans of doing it, your way?

EUNIL: Our journey as K-pop idols is, in itself, a testament to us following our unique path. We, who were once strangers, came together driven by a shared dream and created an album that's loved from many, a true miracle in its own right. Our collective pursuit of a common goal is a wonderful journey, and it represents the very essence of "my way" that we're pursuing.

Q: ra.L and YECHAN participated in writing "MY WAY". What is the message you want to tell FRIENDZ through the lyrics?

YECHAN: As the message of the album is very hopeful, urging the listeners to come with us, we aimed to convey a similar message in "MY WAY", expressing our determination to overcome any difficulties or barriers that stand in our way. Therefore, we focused on writing lyrics that are very hopeful and optimistic.

ra.L: To add, the essence of "MY WAY" is the determination to persist on our chosen path, undeterred by obstacles and challenges. So, we tried to convey the message that, despite the pain, our youthful spirit will help us triumph over any difficulties.

Q: Since you have finished the [BLUE SET] series and seem to go to new direction with [STILL ON MY WAY], was the approach for song-writing for these songs any different from previously?

YECHAN: While crafting the lyrics for this album, our primary emphasis was on fostering strong communication among the members. I engaged in extensive discussions with HANKOOK and ra.L, assessing which parts would complement the song best and determining the overall direction. We also provided feedback to one another after listening to the completed rap verses. We would also talk to the vocalists of the team, ensuring a collaborative effort to achieve the highest quality outcome.

ra.L: Additionally, [STILL ON MY WAY] served as the conclusion to the [BLUE SET] series, prompting us to showcase a more optimistic perspective on our vocal and rap capabilities. We aimed to convey positive energy through both the music and its lyrics. Consequently, we devoted significant time and effort to practice and excel in the lyrics-writing process.

EUNIL (left), HANKOOK (right)

Q: Have you ever stumbled upon writer's block when writing the lyrics? When you encounter such troubles, how do you overcome them?

HANKOOK: I faced several instances of writer's block while crafting the lyrics for this album. It's a common challenge when aiming to create meaningful lyrics. Often, I found myself struggling to find the right words or expressions. There were nights when I dedicated myself to writing, only to encounter these blocks. In such moments, I didn't hesitate to pause and resume writing the next day. This break allowed my thoughts to refresh, and I often came up with better ideas when I returned to the lyrics. So, I wouldn't hesitate to call it a day when I got stuck.

Q: To all the new fans and listeners who wish to get to know more about TRENDZ, what is the best way for them to do so?

ra.L: Content featuring us is uploaded daily, providing an opportunity for you to discover each member's unique charms and appreciate the chemistry within the group. To truly experience TRENDZ, diving into this content is the best approach.

HAVIT

Q: "MY WAY" is emotional and a motivational song. What is your message to your fans and listeners who are having a hard time right now?

HAVIT: In this album, we aimed to convey a sense of freedom and hopefulness that comes with youth. When you're facing difficult times, we hope our songs can provide you with the energy and solace you need. Likewise, when you're feeling great or dealing with worries, I hope our music can uplift you and inspire you to do better. We want to share our passion and energy with you through our music.

YOONWOO: This album encourages the idea that no matter what challenges life brings, if you keep moving forward, you can overcome them and achieve success. I hope our audience can resonate with this message and find strength and inspiration in our music, especially during difficult times.

Thank you Global H and Helix Publicity for the invitation.

Watch TRENDZ ‘MY WAY’ MV here!

youtube

*photos courtesy of Global H

Don’t forget to like, follow and subscribe to MY K-POP WIRE for more K-Pop interview, debut, comeback and event updates!

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#TRENDZ #트렌드지 #MYWAY #MYKPOPWIRE #KPop #Comeback #Interview #passion #youth #Youtube

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otakween · 1 year

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Digimon Adventure (Manga) - Vol. 1

This is the manga (or manhua) adaptation of the original Digimon Adventure anime. I got my copy from the library and you can borrow it for free on Archive.org!

Manga adaptations of anime are typically cheap money grabs that just copy-paste from the anime, removing some of the soul of the original along the way. As such, I'm not expecting much from this.

Notes:

Ch. 1

-You can almost always tell when a manga isn't drawn by a Japanese artist, it's just a certain vibe (I know this is technically a manhua). That being said, the art is competent enough. Yuen Wong seems to struggle most when it comes to faces. A lot of the faces look really janky and off model for both the digimon and the digi-destined. The only other thing that's kind of off is that the text boxes are very heavily lined and take up a lot more space than I'm used to.

-When Sora is drawn in chibi-mode she has the straps of her hat up like a rabbit. At first the silhouette was so unfamiliar that I had no idea who it was lol.

-So they covered two episodes in one chapter (up until the Shellmon battle). Let's see if the pace stays that way...

Ch. 2

-This definitely has a similar vibe to most manga adapted from anime that I've read. I wonder if it will diverge from the original material at any point, too soon to judge.

-Tai says to Agumon "I'll do anything but a teeth buffing" and I have nooo idea what that means? (Is he saying "don't eat me?") Also in chapter one Izzy said "baby blue, how emasculating!" when talking about the digivice. I don't think Koushiro would ever say that tbh. I feel like spotting these weird dialogue choices is going to be the most entertaining part about reading this.

Ch. 3

-I guess we're now going at a pace of one episode per chapter, which is fine. Somehow the content still seems a little condensed with a lot of the emotional beats cut out. I feel like the setting changes every two seconds which is giving me whiplash.

-Some weird quirks: the digi-destined call their digimon by their rookie names, even when they're in champion form. Also, the artist really really likes drawing smiley faces as stand-ins for the actual characters. That's like a step below chibification lol

-I think manga like this is perfect for if you wanted to watch Digimon Adventure 02, but you didn't want to catch up on a 50+ episode anime. It's a lot faster to read than to watch. (Although probably not as satisfying overall).

Ch. 4

-More cheesy dialogue. Izzy says "don't mess with an elite hacker" to Tai lol. Koushiro is way more likeable in the original Japanese because localizations loved to make nerds insufferable in the 90s.

-It's funny, I've never thought of Tentomon as robot-like, but in this chapter he said his parts were "short circuiting" and I was like "oh yeahhh...I guess he does have metallic features"

-Did we really need that close-up crotch shot of Andromon?

-You would think that the plot point of there being editable code laying around in random areas of the digital world would have come up again, but I can't remember another time it was really used to the kids' advantage.

Ch. 5

-This panel made me laugh:

(something about this phrasing and the expressionless chibis is so funny).

-And then Izzy never manually triggered a digivolution again...for some reason? (I feel like this was definitely explained in the anime, but I can't remember what they said).

-They didn't censor the poop this time! As usual, you can get away with more in print than you can on the screen B)

-They confirm that you can repel Numemon with sunlight...and then immediately the kids get attacked by more Numemon in broad daylight. Quickest continuity error ever!

-Another chuckle worthy moment:

Ch. 6

-Okay, but this one had me die laughing. Just a really good dad joke:

-Going from Adventure 02 back to the early Adventure days the stakes really do feel lower. No existential conundrums or human/humanoid villains to contend with. Just rampaging digis that can be easily cured.

Ch. 7

-Maybe it's just a translation thing, but sometimes the digimon act like there's one of each digimon species. Like Gomamon says "Unimon's a nice guy!" as if there's one Unimon in the world. Pretty confusing for kids. I wish mon series would just use names (they do sometimes, but it's not the status quo).

Yep, that was pretty generic. I wish they had thrown some more personality in there to make this a unique experience. I would have loved to read some final thoughts from the mangaka or to have gotten an omake of some sort. Ohhh welll...

#digimon digital monsters #manhua #manga #digimon

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ttlmt · 2 years

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Bee, how are we meant to process this!?!?! I'm so furious on his behalf that he got jerked around by YouTube for so long, it's so disheartening and unfair and yet he's still there. Picking up the shattered pieces and figuring out how to fit them back together again. Just listening to his voice for an hour and a half straight (or well gay) has made something resonate deep within my chest and I didn't realise how much I missed him before I was reminded of all that he is. (Also, hello, I hope you're doing well, love!)

i think you can see me have a rollercoaster of a breakdown over the past like three hours on this blog cxlkjcdhg its so much to process

i missed him SO much just today my friends and i were joking about dan coming back and then BOOM here he is. i loved listening to his voice and his humour and wisdom and he always knows just what to say when i need to hear it. always sends me in a spiral but knows how to pull me out.

(edit: i've decided to put this under a read more because a) it got way longer than expected and b) its not all coherent and well-spoken like i wanted it to be but here it is)

first of all, i love dan's journey to accepting his past and appreciating it for what it is because thats a similar journey that i've been on recently and im glad he never doesn't acknowledge that there was good in it. it was good. it was important. its just not what he needs now. and nuance is something this phandom i find always struggles with, but dan is so good at it. there was good and bad parts to all parts of his career, but he ends on a positive note because he knows we're like him and we worry and thats where he is now and just yeah i love him

dan being so hard on himself about being a creator and whether or not he deserves this and that he firmly believes he's not good enough? i FELT that. like it doesnt matter what other people say, sometimes you just dont believe the good and you just need to operate like that. and it SUCKS. but you still do it in hopes that maybe one day you'll see what they see. also all that esp after knowing all the shit he went through in the past year? im about to throw hands with dans brain

BURNOUT. god as a media student just personally this hit. like its not an industry you can be neurodivergent or mentally ill in. you're expected to be working 24/7 and you're supposed to be happy about it because you're doing what you love. everything is your job, but its what you wanted right? creative control? its so fucked up and dan explained it way better than i have ever heard someone say it. im so glad hes prioritizing getting help to work on stuff like we're a collaborative species we're meant to work together and im so glad it seemed with this video already he has found people he likes working with

i'm gonna fucking fight youtube. like i figured it was bad behind the scenes but i did not in any universe think it was That Bad. i just assumed things got cancelled cause of covid. the way they treated dan is so fucking unprofessional (but also not unheard of in the industry which is more fucked) and i hope they receive backlash for this but also YTO is gone now so theres nothing really to do and i also dont want it to reflect on dan. in addition to that, i can't imagine going through this with a partner who has the same employer and needs to work with them too. like phil had to watch yt do this to dan all while still working with yt cause its his job. they love and care about eachother so much and im glad they had eachother but jfc they shouldn't have had to go through that.

i'm so glad dan is taking control of his narrative and doing stuff for himself now. im soooo excited for tour. im so happy ttlmt (the video) is getting the recognition it deserves. i hope this shuts everyone up who shit on dan over the past 2 years.

also hellooooo i'm doing alright! i just got back to my parent's place for the summer so i'm adjusting to that and starting my summer course so i'm a bit overwhelmed but im overall okay. all this happening right after i say im back with gifs is so funny dlkjfdg

#ask #nina

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khiphop-discussions · 2 years

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Re: Last reblog on Parasocial Relationships and their harmfulness

EDITED NOTE: Just to clarify I do not think I've ever "genuinely" known" any celebrity or public figure like it says in that post. I have felt like I've know things about them but never to the level of fully and "genuinely" knowing them. However, parasocial relationships don't have to be that deep to still be parasocial and harmful.

I agree. It's definitely something that I struggle with sometimes. Especially since I think it's natural for people to want to connect with someone they have something in common with. In this case (meaning the types of parasocial relationships we'd deal with as Khiphop fans), you and the artist are both fans of the artist's music and likely the genre as well as other things.

That's why I got into the habit a while ago of separating the person from the "character" they play as a musician*. I talked about this for a very small amount of time on one of my youtube videos. For example, DPR Live and Dabin are two different entities. The way I would interact with Dabin through written communication, a video chat, or in-person isn't the way I'd necessarily interact with DPR Live when throwing out a random tweet or post about him or talking with a friends. Dabin is the "actor" that plays DPR Live even if they have a lot of overlaps in who they actually are since Dabin isn't actually an actor. I think this can get easier OR harder to do after actually meeting them in person or engaging with them on a one-on-one level over the internet. Honestly, for me, some people got harder after meeting them irl, some got easier, and some I'm in a weird and constant power struggle which is pretty bizarre to me. In regards to the ones I'm in a constant power struggle with, I didn't actually realize that until literally this year even though I met them years ago. (Side note: OK maybe not constant but when it comes to mind it's definitely a struggle but this also ties into the fact that I struggle with me views/opinion on them in general)

Luckily, just like any other relationship, parasocial relationships shift and reframe and even completely disappear over time. But it's definitely really easy to sucked in and can be hard to get out. Especially if these people happen to be role models and inspiration to you in your personal life (ex: that post about Yumdda I made a few days back which was sort of in jest but also partially serious too). I do think there's a balance (just like in any other relationship) but it can be difficult to find it since everything about a parasocial relationship is just so vague and nebulous compared to many other types of relationship. I think going forward, we're definitely gonna need some type of education regarding parasocial relationships and how to make them healthier (or as healthy as possibly given the circumstances) the same way we talking about networking/business relationships, family, friendships, and romantic relationships. Parasocial relationships are not new but the internet kicked them into overdrive in the same way tabloids and tv probably kicked them higher back when they came out.

There's more to be had in relation to this conversation so it might come up again later on at some point but I think I said everything I want to add at the moment.

*Just wanna add the note that this is NOT the same as separating the art from the artist. That's generally an excuse to still enjoy the art without having to really grapple with the fact that you are supporting it regardless of the harm it may cause. I know everyone is a fan of something made by someone "problematic" due to the nature of humans being imperfect and full of bias, both explicit and implicit. However, I DO think it's important to not just wave it off like that and make sure you actively engage with what they did and why you choose to still support. It's important to engage with those uncomfortable topics as well as the duality (or hypocrisy) of why you make the decisions you do and just sitting with the overall "uncomfortableness" of your decisions sometimes.

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times-eclipse · 1 year

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Damage Calculation Is Hard

The thing about damage calculation is you kinda have to feel it out by vibes. You want increasing stats by certain amounts to feel like a noticeable difference in your damage output, whether that's +1 or +10, or anything else. But to achieve this, it feels like you need to write damage formula and then shape everything else around it and hope for the best.

And when you look back at what you've made sometimes it's just like... maybe it could still be better...

I'm presently struggling with looking at Witness To Unity's damage formula and thinking... this thing seems a mess. Too much extra influence on values than there probably needs to be. I'm not sure how to explain this, so I think I kinda need to explain how the stats and all currently works.

Equipment

Attack: Comes from weapons. Affects Attack command damage.

Hit Rate: Comes from weapons. Affects Attack command accuracy*.

Defence: Comes from armour. Affects overall damage resistance.

Evasion: Comes from armour. Usually affects overall evasion, except for certain skills.

Innate Stats

Strength: Affects physical damage of unarmed, most weapons, and physical skills. Does not factor into guns**.

Intelligence: Affects damage of "magic" skills.

Endurance: Affects overall damage resistance. Does not factor into healing. (Obviously.)

Agility: Affects turn-order, rate, and native hit-rate/evasion.

*The Attack command is technically a skill too, that factors hit-rate as well as agility into hit chance. **We'll get to that.

Additional notes: the equipment stats will probably range from about 10 to 320. The innate stats will range from 10 to 128-ish from level 1 to 99. The goal is for damage in early game to be around 10-30 points a hit, and end-game the average attack shouldn't be consistently like, 9999.

...

With all that out of the way, let's get into the damage formula as it currently exists. For my own convenience I'll be using the variable names in the damage formula as follows, with some edits, so I hope that it remains understandable with the above as reference.

First, we work out what kinda skill we're dealing with, and calculate the "base power" before other stats get involved. This might be a little confusing, as skills also have a "base power", so I'll call the following calculated power. Skill types include: Physical, Magical, Unarmed, Weapon, Gun, Healing, and Infinity.

... alright, the last one just returns Float::INFINITY. We can ignore that.

Calculated Power

Physical/Unarmed: ＠a.str * 8

Magic/Healing: ＠a.int * 8

Weapon: (Physical) + ＠a.atk

Gun: ＠a.atk * 2

Calculated Defence

Defence: (＠b.res * 4) + ＠b.def

The damage formula varies a little between types, but the following basically occurs:

Square root (calculated-power - calculated-defence), multiplied by 4.5 for physical skills, or 5 for everything else.

Multiply this by the skill base power. This is a stat unique to each skill. "Weapon skills" have a base power of 1 so as to only use the stats of the weapons/characters themselves.

Divide by 30 for physical skills, 35 for magic, 15 for unarmed, ignore for weapons and guns.

Healing follows things a little differently: square root (calculated-power * skill base power / 3.)

So let's see how say, a physical skill's damage formula ends up looking.

sqrt(((＠a.str * 8) - ((＠b.res * 4) + ＠b.def)) * 4.5) * power / 30

Jesus christ.

So I started writing this for one main reason: what am I doing here. The fact I'm multiplying and dividing a lot of damage formulas feels like I'm doing things totally wrong.

I've referenced Persona and Shin Megami Tensei a lot in my development of this project. A lot of stats and structure to things are shared with those games. But they most certainly aren't doing things like this.

What I'd like to do, is to be multiplying/dividing the statistics as little as possible, avoiding damage numbers shooting into the thousands, and keep the relationship of equipment stats and native stats.

Let's take a look at how P5 does this sort of thing. Note I am using terminology from my own project for consistency's sake

Weapons: sqrt(＠a.atk / 2) * sqrt(＠a.str)

Physical Skills: sqrt(skill base power) * sqrt(＠a.str)

Magical Skills: sqrt(skill base power) * sqrt(＠a.int)

Defence: calculated power / sqrt(＠b.res * 8 + ＠b.def)

I'm not too sure why the calculated power does square-roots separately like this, as near as I can tell combining them wouldn't make a difference. I'm simply following what the wiki is using here.*

*BreezeWiki breaks formula display by putting it black on a dark background, but if you're deathly allergic to using Fandom, you can view it here.

So let's try an experiment. Arin has a native Strength of 15. An enemy has 10 Defence and 13 Endurance. (I know enemies don't have equipment, but I needed to add it to them so they didn't shatter like glass, which might be a factor in problems with my formula.) Arin uses Dragonian Slash, a Physical skill with a base power of 70.

＠a.str * 8 = 15 * 8 = 120

＠b.res * 4 + ＠b.def = 13 * 4 + 10 = 62

sqrt((120 * 4.5) * 62) * 70 / 30 = 37

Let's see what happens if we use P5's formula.

sqrt(70 * ＠a.str) = sqrt(70 * 15) = 32

32 / sqrt(＠b.res * 8 + ＠b.def) = 32 / 10 = 3

Okay I'm truncating things a lot here, but decimal values aren't going to factor into the final damage.

... alright, so we don't really want the final damage to be that small, even for a beginning skill. Heck even P5 isn't that way, so I'm not sure what's going on. If I make this theoretical enemy have basically no defence this skill will do about 11 damage, but I don't really want that either. In a theoretical scenario of characters with about equal stats, it makes more sense to me to be doing a bit more damage.

The more I think about it the more I must be missing something. In the example testing this user did, they are getting a damage range of 22-24 from a 2 Magic/Int Arsene using Psiodyne. Psiodyne according to the wiki has a base power of 160. Near as I can work out, sqrt(160) * sqrt(2) is 17, not... say, 23. If the Full Moon challenge's Level is below 99 enough to take +30% damage from the player, it results in 23 damage. But that's before dividing by defence gets involved!

You can see now why this stuff is kinda hard. It's all theoretical, based on vibes, and there's sooo many factors to consider that shifting one or another thing throws everything else off. I'm also relying on 50-80 being a good value for the internal "base power" of an early-game skill.

I know what I want the numbers to be at the start (the numbers you see, the base power), what numbers I want to end up with as damage, and what kinda scaling I want over the course of the game, but the route there currently just feels dirty.

#witness to unity #rpg maker xp #rgss #persona #game dev #mathematics

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