#part two of insecurities

[writing-blog-iguess]

🌹

Bruce, Talia finds, has an uncanny ability to know when she arrives in the city, and exactly where he can find her.

So when night falls and she hears a light thump on the roof behind her, she isn’t surprised in the slightest. “Bruce,” she greeted, her attention never straying from the apartment building in front of her.

From where she’s standing, she can see you sitting on your living floor, hunched over the coffee table, writing as you flipped through a book. And judging the frustration shadowing your face, it looks like you're in the middle of work of some kind.

Damian’s there too, laying on the couch with a book in his hands. Whatever he had said caused you to laugh, moving to poke his sides, making him chuckle. He’s happy, content even and it stirs something inside Talia.

“Talia,” Bruce grunted, moving to stand beside her, “what brings you to Gotham?”

“A little birdy told me my little Damian is to be married,” she answered, attention still on the window she can see you through. “I was merely curious is all.”

#mary answers #damian wayne x fem!reader #part two of insecurities #really need to finish this

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: nightmares / trauma / ]

Post-invasion, Mikey sneaks into Leo’s room and when asked by Leo what the problem was, Mikey just smiles and says since he’s awake and knew Leo would be too, he didn’t want either of them alone. Leo laughs and lets Mikey stick around, both of them clumped together on Leo’s bed, watching grainy compilations of old Lou Jitsu commercials on Leo’s phone.

Technically, Mikey didn’t lie. He just didn’t explain everything that led him to Leo’s room. He didn’t explain the nightmare of his arms burning up too bright, too fast, destroyed before Raph and Donnie have a chance to help. He didn’t explain how he woke up with a wail caught in his throat, phantom pain in his arms and chest alike chasing away any semblance of exhaustion. He didn’t explain how his mind made sure he knew, vividly, that if one thing went wrong with his portal, then he would have never seen Leo again.

He didn’t explain, and he didn’t have to. Leo knows his brothers better than he knows himself, and Mikey has always been easy to read. So it’s no trouble to let Mikey know that he’s still with them, that Leo is here and alive with everyone else. And when Mikey finally regains his exhaustion and falls asleep leaning against Leo, Leo simply maneuvers him into a more comfortable position and stays by his side.

He doesn’t move, doesn’t go to sleep - not that he could, anyway. He just mindlessly scrolls on his phone, the soft snores of his little brother filling the room. He stays in place, awake, because he wants to be sure that when Mikey wakes up again it’s to the immediate sight that Leo is alive and well and home.

And, if Leo’s bring honest, that’s a reminder not just for Mikey’s sake.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt leo #rise mikey #rise leo #portal pals #one of my favorite things about Mikey is how self assured he really is not only in his skills but in his sense of self #but no matter how confident you are how much faith in yourself and others you have anyone can be struck by what ifs #and trauma isn’t so easily brushed over #so I can easily see Mikey struggling occasionally with the notion that ah. I did it. but what if I didn’t. #bros the worlds best mystic warrior in part because he can do real miracles #but miracles are only thought to be so because they’re near impossible feats #and with the knowledge that he is capable of opening timelines…I wonder if a part of Mikey fears falling into one where he failed #now - Mikey is not one to get wrapped up in insecurity he really isn’t #but for something so important and such a possible fear? at the very least I can see his subconscious manifesting a nightmare or two #most likely more - he’s a kid after all #they all are #ANYWAY love this duo lol #almost positive I wrote something similar to this wayyyyyy long ago but bleh I’ll write it again idc idc

[twinstxrs]

there’s something so personal about the scene in fantasy high s1e7 where gorgug calls himself stupid & fabian, who up to that point had basically entirely been acting like the bad kids (especially gorgug) were beneath him & had also been the one calling ragh stupid two lines ago, instantly says “okay, do not put yourself down like that. don’t you dare do that to yourself.” like it was obvious he liked the bad kids at that point but the instinct to protect his friends manifesting as an immediate strong refusal of gorgug’s self-deprecating talk kills me. that boy loves his friends so bad oh my god i feel sick.

#fabian seacaster #fantasy high #gorgug thistlespring #these two specifically are so dear to me #top 5 most underrated fh dynamic the girls that get it get it #acts of service (gorgug) meets words of affirmation (fabian) #spring break i believe in you. i hand you an orange. you never hug me / shut up. #THE TENDERNESSSS #it’s about gorgug fixing the hangman & fabian having no idea how to repay him other than saying ‘i’m gonna buy you an orange.’ #when fabian a year ago had an insecurity about buying other people things bc he thought they’d just use him for that. #it’s about gorgug’s tin flower that’s tattooed on his arm being both symbolic of his roots & deeply tied to his relationship with fabian #it’s about ​fabian being the reason gorgug was in that fateful detention in the first place. #& gorgug being the first person to see fabian again in the nightmare forest. #all the bad kids are tied by destiny but god. fabian & gorgug you are so tied by destiny. #anyways i will not lie this far into my tags i expect nothing but in another universe they would be the slow burn of all time. to me. #it is so subtle & casual but there is so much love there it makes me kinda crazy. #but either way my beloveds who i think have helped bring out the best parts of one another but who r also both soooo lame (affectionate). #also i think it’d be funny if a) gorgug was the final bad kid to join the giant family tree via dating fabian #and b) telemaine was eventually gorgug’s grandather in law. can u imagine. #thistlecaster #fabigug #whichever one it is idk idc #they r just so gentle :( #UPDATE sorry i stopped right when this happened to write this whole post & literally like 5 minutes later gorgug has that idea to look at- #zayne’s pearl & his hunch isn’t right but fabian IMMEDIATELY jumps back in with ‘it’s moments like these that prove you’re smart’ GODSDD #when the fabian & gorgug dynamic hits it truly hits. besties/bfs ever i can’t decide they r simply so great

[skrunksthatwunk]

so i read cyrano today. here's some parts i thought were funny in/out of context

cyrano's debut comes with bullying an actor he doesn't like offstage. two acts later he sends a band of musicians after him just to get them off his hands. he also tells them to tell this actor he sent them

and, of course, marmaladegate

#anyway i love cyrano lol #ive seen two different theater productions of it but this is the first time ive read it #anyway. ow. sad. but it's also very beautiful to me #cyrano #cyrano de bergerac #i didnt feel like taking pics of all the space travel methods but those were good. im fond of the magnet most of all i think #theres also bits like where he tells montfleury he's a full moon and after three claps he should eclipse himself #like if you're gonna be fatphobic at least be clever about it yk #plus i think it says more about cyrano's projection of his insecurities than anything else. kinda central idea to the play #i have no idea if these are funny out of context. it's a funny show though. i think seeing it really drives home the humor #kinda like seeing vs reading shakespeare. seeing the actors really breathes life into it #EDIT I FORGOT THE oh wait. an hour? psh PART THATS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. theyre so real for that tbh

[kerorowhump]

god the writing in KG is just impeccable and it does NOT get the credit it deserves because i can put any two characters from the main 5 together in a pair and they'll have some interesting contrasts and points in common that they don't have with the others

#txt #dororo and kururu #dororo and giroro #dororo and tamama #were the three i was rotating in my brain #dororo n kururu: the two most left behind. arguably the smartest so they get along. one's order/calm the other chaos. both very observant. #also selfless vs selfish #dororo n giroro: ive already said but. peace vs invasion. earth vs keron. anger vs sadness. expresses emotions vs represses them. both loyal #and faithful. both dedicated to their cause. also childhood friends #additionally. the way they feel about keroro is a foil. dororo looks up to him but a tiny part of him resents him. giroro is always - #shit talking him but actually deeply respects him #dororo and tamama: similarly. they are very much foils esp about keroro. ive mentioned this previously. present tamama is like past dororo #with being rich and looking up to keroro. they're both very emotional and they both crave keroro's undivided attention #but tamama stands up for himself and is very loud and secure whereas dororo is insecure and doubts himself #ok I'll try to do more pairings (/p) mm #keroro and kururu well theyre constantly paired bc of how much they have in common. scheming and selfish. secret keron stuff. #plus keroro literally runs to him to ask for help when natsumi beats him or like IN GENERAL. #also again. keroro is supposed to come up with plans but struggles. kururu is supposed to be chaos oriented but he's always fixing messes #tamama and kururu is another fun one because one's perception is ''the sweet one'' and the other is ''the sinister one'' #tamama may look dumb at times but hes actually bright. kururu is deeply intelligent but often gets lost in silliness #they both have a dark side #this is fun but theres many combinations for 5 members so im not gonna be here all day writing abt what they all have in common and contrast #but it's so fun to think abt bc the show is actually well written they all have lil tidbits that make their relationships (/p) unique #i didnt even get into keroro much bc god knows i could not stop talking there #this subject is worth making a whole post abt ... maybe one day #musing

[puppyeared]

#ommggggg bro when i get free time i wanna make an animatic for these two with this song #LIKE. THE LYRICS?? HELLO???? #'the things i was afraid of / they were all confined beneath my bed / but the years have been long / and you have taught me well to hide #away / the things that i believed in / youve taught me to call them all escapes #LIKE. BRO? and the curse is supposed to reflect back all of MK's doubts and insecurities #ESPECIALLY those questions about who he is / his origin etc which he didnt want to think of or repressed it so hard BROOOOOO #and the fact it fucking ends with 'i have always known you / you have always been there in my mind / but now i understand you / and i will #not be part of your designs / i know who i am now / and all that youve made of me / i know who you are now / and i name you my enemy #AND AND. MK ASSOCIATING THE IDENTITY HE DOESNT WANT TO CONFRONT WITH SOMETHING INHERENTLY EVIL OR DESTRUCTIVE #AND THE CURSE JUST TORMENTING HIM BY SAYING THATS WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOOOOOOOO #lego monkie kid #lmk #monkie kid #lmk spoilers #lego monkie kid spoilers #lmk season 4 spoilers #lmk season 4 #monkie kid s4 spoilers #monkie kid s4 #lmk ink mk #lmk mk #lmk xiaotian #Spotify #yapping

[cream-and-tea]

planning ghoststory book two and asking myself “does the intensity of pallas and calliopes hatred for each other come out of nowhere???” as if there isn’t a whole scene in lay me down where calliope tries to kill pallas by dropping a potted plant on their head looney-tunes style

#AND the entirety of chapter 13 lol i’m just having an ✨ insecurity ✨ moment #where it’s like huh maybe nothing i have ever written has ever made sense #it’ll pass just. blegh. #this particular worry is VERY funny though i’m sitting there going ‘was the intensity of this relationship established enough???’ #my brother in christ they attempt to violently physically attack each other in every scene they share in the first book i think it’s #established pretty well lmao #i think the shift from it being a minor part of the plot in lmd to a MAJOR part of the plot in book two is what’s tripping me up #like. it’s not a New Dynamic by any means but it is being very much spotlighted and also dug into #which means i kind of have to look at it through a different lens #the brainworms need to start worming yknow #wip: ghost story

[cathalbravecog]

Tony Trapezoid Dama first digital design concept + reference !! They've been in the works for a while, it feels good to finally put that onto a digital drawing... Sorry about all the empty space on the canvas, RIP

This may be their ref for a while, but their design may still be a subject to change!! But for now, this is their design. (They still need to be drawn from their side and back view as it has some details you can't see from this angle.) (They also still need a suit name, but that doesn't worry me currently as they aren't even a C.O.G.S. INC. employee.)

Anyways, as you can gather from the image, they're the child of Belle! If someone has a grandchild, that means they have kids of their own, and Tony here is the OC for that! They're based on touch-tone telephones and radios... And also Touch Tone Telephone and other Neil Cicierega things. One thing you should know about me is that I love Lemon Demon references in my OCs,, (Has an OC universe based mainly on Lemon Demon)

They once were like every ordinary Suit, just with an interest for the unknown and telling stories - and letting others have their own stories be heard, giving others a voice. Their rather charming personality made them a great radio host! However, after the Toon invasion, they began hearing various conspiracies about them. Already having an interest in the supernatural, they began tying the Toons onto these various supernatural dangers and giving into their growing paranoia. Believing everything they've heard, (Which was a characteristic they've always had - believing almost any story told on their show), they only grew more isolated and their show devolved more into conspiracies of many kinds which turned off many listeners.

Seeing how much harm the Toons were causing to fellow Suits did not help either, in fact, it only strengthened their downfall. They grew more anxious over-all, and seemed more invested in their show and theories than going out. Despite all this, they still care about their family deeply and seem to do everything out of genuine concern and care. Though, they have seemed to stray away for the most part... Oh what would they do for the good ol' days...

Seeing that their mother and at least one of their children have joined C.O.G.S. INC. after, well... The whole Atticus incident - It shook them a little bit. Being so close to those Toons is DANGEROUS! However, as time went on... They took note of how well the two were doing. Even Collin seemed slightly more enthusiastic. Perhaps it's not as bad of an environment as they thought? Regardless, they keep an close eye in case of any tragedy they oh so dread.

#Btw. Tony and Collin being named after two DHMIS characters was NOT intentional #Tony came from wanting to have a short nice sounding 'T' name to follow along 'Trapezoid' (and 'T'ouch 'T'one Telephone) #and collin came from me... listening to Telephone by Lady Gaga. In my Spamton playlist. I realized the 'stop calling' part sounds bit like #'stop collin' and like... calling... collin... yes. perfect name for a telephone #eh i dont mind collin is my fav dhmis character and teacher (of course) #character design concept #oc concept #oc art #guz art #cog oc #Tony #toontown corporate clash #i dont know what fucking design tags i use on my art blog anyore so im gonna :skull: use a few here. #i need to organize my tags a bit better i apologize #SORRY if my writing is off i havent written anything proper in ages i usually go into joke writing halfway thru #i cant take myself seriously im scared of showing my writing to anyone oops. #also bilingual AND dyslexic . i feel like i have to explain this im a bit Insecure oopsies #in... several ways. (terrified of jugdement)

[shoutsindwarvish]

two different rabbis directly to me + multiple places online: jewish imposter syndrome is real and is (to varying degrees) almost a universal experience in one way or another

me, who has been actively practicing for over nine months and taken multiple classes while also being halachically jewish by birth: i am the exception and am an imposter in jewish spaces and should feel bad about it. no i will not elaborate on why i believe this is true of me and no one else.

#to be clear NONE of this shame is being messaged to me by my shul #i’m just so insecure since i was raised religiously christian and only officially stopped attending church in 2020 #*february 2020 #even though i’d been drawn to judaism and deeply uncomfortable with christianity for years before that #and also had a degree of jewish identity through my family and celebrating holidays secularly growing up #i stayed as long as i did because 1) the liturgy was familiar #and 2) i’d be guaranteed to see my best friend once a week #converts have to go through a gauntlet. i feel like i’ve…cheated. #part of me wonders if i should pursue an affirmation #whether it would help i mean #but if i did my jewish grandfather would rise from the grave and say ‘YOU DON’T NEED IT BECAUSE YOU’RE PERFECTLY JEWISH AS YOU ARE’ #on the other hand he was also an atheist and probably would have mixed feelings on me practicing at all #although i’m not the only grandkid who’s done so #two of my cousins (their mom is my mom’s sister) were raised catholic but switched to judaism at least 10 years ago #to my knowledge neither of them went through an affirmation process #ughhhhh #my posts #jumblr #i guess i did elaborate why in the tags huh

[sophieswundergarten]

Thinking Number Two Thoughts again...

Thinking about her being a kid who can see so much, but can't articulate it. Not that she's not smart, but it takes so much for her to get it out in words that "make sense" and are "acceptable" to other people.

People say she's cryptic and acerbic and mouthy when they don't care to get to know her, and privately she thinks none of these words are quite right, but she's long since given up hope of someone listening to her.

She has so much energy and so many thoughts and no one ever allows her to use them, so it's no wonder she expresses it in other ways. She's vivacious and excited and always racing around and flapping her hands and so full of ideas.

And the adults around her can't stand it

She's jittery and irritating and she can never sit still and she's always hungry for some unknown reason

So she learns to keep still. She learns to sit on her hands and hold her ideas in. She learns to be as negligible as possible and press her lips tight and listen when the grown ups tell her to be seen and not heard.

But she still has some defiance, a small petty victory.

If she won't be heard then she will be seen

Her favourite colour has always been yellow, and she works hard to find and incorporate every scrap of it she can. She learns to sew and to dye and to make the cheap, threadbare, standardized clothes she is issued her own. She is in the back of every classroom, absorbing everything and learning as much as she can. She is outside every meeting room and in every hallway that adults don't want her to be, listening in and forming opinions that she knows no one but herself will care about.

She was small, and that worked to her advantage. She could slip in doorways and hide herself away in cupboards and alcoves. When she started growing, she was presented with a bigger issue.

The first time she fainted she had been sitting on a low wall outside, swinging her legs and watching the leaves blow in the trees. She heard the call to come back inside and jumped up, only to find herself on the ground with an irate matron looking down at her.

Things only got worse from there, and the grown ups at each and every facility she got passed to had the same expression upon seeing her records. The other children whispered behind her back, either questioning why she received extra portions or mocking her for her seemingly constant dizzy spells.

She kept her head down and kept her mouth shut and her wardrobe grew ever more yellow. She could hardly sleep anymore, and when books were available she would sneak away and read all night. (Once she got old enough for the local store owners to accept her lies, she would work any time she could sneak away, saving up her own money to buy a slim volume or two that she treasured above all else)

Sure, it sometimes made her vision a little blurry, but at this point she was pretty sure that had more to do with the fact that the orphanage kitchens never seemed to have enough food lately.

She managed to contain all of her words and ideas and jitters and "oddities" to the nighttime. There, she was free. There, she could squeak and pace and flap her hands and recite snatches of things out loud and no one asked her to explain herself.

She was never sure how other people seemed to manage it. She was always exhausted from trying to obey all the ridiculous unspoken rules that were enforced during the day. But no matter how tired she was when lights out was announced, sleep would still somehow elude her. Better to be productive and capitalize on her precious few hours where she was free from observation than to lay as still as if she were being interrogated by yet another orphanage director and wait in agony.

One late evening, when she was on her way back from sweeping out the barber shop down the street (It had taken hours, but it was more than worth it when she counted the bills and saw she had the money to buy a new book and enough left over for an apple), she saw a flyer taped to a storefront window.

The title caught her eye, in bold yellow print: “ARE YOU A GIFTED CHILD LOOKING FOR SPECIAL OPPORTUNITIES?”

She noted that the flyer seemed to be addressing her, instead of whatever hypothetical adult may have been responsible for her. She appreciated being acknowledged, even if it was just by a piece of paper.

Walking over, she pulled the flyer down, studying it. The location it mentioned wasn't far away, and the date listed was tomorrow. She folded it and slipped it securely into her pocket.

Even if the strange test didn't turn out to be worth her while, she could probably stand to skip an afternoon of odd jobs. And it's not like the orphanage would miss her anyway

#THIS GIRL #THIS LADY #SHE'S SO IMPORTANT TO ME #I'VE BEEN REREADING KEEPING TIME AGAIN #IF YOU COULDN'T GUESS #AND THE NUMBER TWO PART ALWAYS FILLS ME WITH SO MUCH EMOTION #I WANT TO HUG HER #I hope this made sense #the mysterious benedict society #mbs #number two #Also #tw food insecurity #Thanks Milk for the reminder

[cureblogging]

Gonna say something potentially controversial:

I think Heartcatch suffers from the Up phenomenon in that people remember it as an excellent, if not flawless masterpiece when it actually has One (1) excellent, if not flawless moment in the beginning and is otherwise nothing special.

#pretty cure #babs' musings #precure: heartcatch #i remember sitting there watching 4 episodes at a time and asking myself “so when does it get as Great as people say” #i admire how different it is in tone and style to other seasons. it really stands out in that regard! #but that doesn't make it automatically better (or worse) than other seasons #it was funnier. #but the story? really underwhelming imo #the only notable part about the plot was the very first scene that set the intrigue and mystery of Yuri's character #but what they deliver on that front was extremely disappointing for me #and all the other characters get pretty mid arcs as well #Tsubomi has anxiety about not being good at anything. nothing comes of that besides one or two insults from the villains. #Itsuki has to crossdress in order to continue the family business because her brother has vague illness #that's never confronted in any satisfying way. it just sorta fades away once she decides she likes being a girl #Erika's insecurity regarding her sister is honestly the most engaging of these arcs and that's because I have a little sister #I suppose I set my expectations too high for that season. but people call it The Best Precure Season when it's not even in my top 3 so far #and that's kinda concerning for me going forward #suite is also proving to be a huge bore for me. extremely artificial season going through the motions of the franchise #Hummy... save me. Hummy. Save me Hummy #I really don't want to struggle through 13 more unremarkable seasons in the hopes of recapturing the magic of Futari Wa and Fresh #argh. i hate not liking things #sorry for the rant in the tags.

[autumnworld19]

Autumn’s Note ~ This is also my third time writing something like this, so please be nice. I’m also up to criticism, anything that’s going to make me a better writer. Please enjoy. Trigger Warning: death of parents, orphan at young age, childhood trauma having no social life as a kid, mention of emotional abusive uncle, mention of some what traumatic aunt, reader reading romance books as a kid, reader indulging in voyeurism (in her 20s), implied to have been watched some what the entire time without the reader knowing.

PSA ~ If you come across my work it would it really mean the world to me if you took the initiative to not only like but also reblog.

——————————————————————————————————

After the death of your parents in a unfortunate car accident, you were sent to live with your mother’s sister out in the countryside. Being the weird city kid has costed you to make and have no friends, their parents swaying them to steer clear of your “oddness”. Boy’s only reasons for interacting with you was either for “help” with their school work or to engage in sexual activities with you. Which, unfortunately for you, left you with your self conscious, people pleaser of an aunt. Who’s way of protecting you, was a form of unconsciously projecting her insecurities and fears onto you. Paired with your good for nothing uncle. Who used you as his personal emotional punching bag. You walking into a room was queue for him to dish out any if not every insult in the book. Who would have thought sending a traumatized nine year old to live with her strict, religious overbearing aunt and uncle, combine with a vacant social life would cause and leave negative impacts on her, that would stay with her all her life? Naturally, the young child turned to create and discover coping mechanisms to completely deattach herself from the depressing and painfully life, that would be her reality. Her discovery of romance books would forever change her life. Romance to the young girl was a mysterious endeavor that only adults got the natural rights to experience. She found herself completely immersed in the books, paying no mind to her surrounds as she laid her bottom on the ridged, patterned carpet floor in the young adult section, in the small town’s public library. She had developed a fondness for books who’s storylines ran with a dominant, bad boy and a reluctant good girl. Who’s main premise was the good girl knew it was wrong but couldn’t help but fall in love with the bad boy’s rough, but yet soft edges. Even though at times he was teasing and perverted, when she wanted to “leave” him he was hot on her trail, he always came to her aid when she needed a rescue and fought multiple guys for her, all because they bad mouthed her. He protected her, he chased after her and he desired her, all wrap up in one man. She wanted this, she needed this. She desired to be desired, extending just sexual reasons. In her early 20s now, with her uncle’s assertive push for her to meet a man to only “finally get the hell out of his house” paired her recently voyeuristic routine of revealing parts of her body when waking past areas where many men conjugate, such as construction sites. Had created a horny woman with emotional dependent issues. How it would play out is everyday after finishing your previous destination at your part-time job at the public library, you would have to pass by the construction site on your way home. It wasn’t until your ears were presented of the sound of grunting men, that you arrived at the construction site. Making sure you looked appropriate, popping a few bottoms with a slight reveal of cleavage and hiking up your dress. Any other person wouldn’t think much of how you looked, but you? You who was raised to act and dress modestly with an iron fist, this was extending your comfort zone. And that’s what made it exhilarating. It was also fun. It was fun knowing that as the resident weird girl people are prone to have their attentions anywhere, but on you. You were the only person who noticed. However, unbeknownst to you, a certain young man, after working a continuous tireless shift of swinging sledgehammers and carrying bricks. He who was eating his pathetic excuse of turkey sandwich, with just a slice tomato, behind a unfinished two story house that he would wish his younger brothers would get the chance to live in, would be inspired enough to get him through the rest of his shift after seeing you walk pass him once again.

#yanderecore #yandere x reader #tw yandere #yandere prompts #yandere blog #yandere oc #yandere man #yandere #female reader #male yandere #construction workers #tw childhood trauma #voyerurism #autumn :) #autumnworldblackgirl #oc maded by autumn #autumn is amazing #There’s a part two!!!! #yandere love #insecure reader #shy reader

[rpfisfine]

my friend pisses me off soooooo bad

#i text her first to ask abt how her essay is going wish her luck 2 times and she doesnt even like the message or say anything she just #changes the topic and then leaves me on read. okay #plus shes been getting so weirdly paranoid that im talking shit abt her to other ppl just bc ive finally made some other friends that arent #her after 1.5 years of suffering alone at my uni #(which i seriously to be honest do just bc shes been getting on my nerves with a lot of things lately) #but like man . throughout the 1.5 years that weve been talking to each other we havent progressed enough to call each other by #our first names to get the other to turn around etc i dont think we r close enough for me to abandon the wonderful religious practice of #sometimes discussing the things that your 1 friend does that piss you off with your other friends but then still hanging out with them #not because youre some sort of irredeemably evil two faced motherfucker but because thats just a normal part of having social relationships #mp #like i get that insecurity sucks and its a shitty feeling etc but ive literally dealt with this my whole cringe embarrassing childhood & #teenage years LOL like as long as your friends still make a conscious decision to spend time with u & u have fun together #then i think you dont need to worry. which is what i do so #the sun will rise again tomorrow

[andromedasummer]

i ended up having a like. 30 minute conversation with some of those "freedom convoy" people. was at the bus stop. they were wearing trump hats. i ended up roped into the conversation because i was so taken aback at seeing one in public i was just. staring at it. ive never felt more depressed about someone elses life and beliefs than when i talked to them.

#they fucking. tokd me about the litterboxes in schools for kids identifying as cats and i had to #break it to them that that wasnt true and explained that. also explained. what its like yo be autistic. how i find it joyful #and also discussed how they believe trump has been spoken to by god and chosen to lead and how they arent christians or catholics like they #used to be but instead talk directly to him and have him inside them #and also apparently how 15 minute cities in china are used to keep people imprisoned where they are #and we arent a democracy anymore. which was so funny considering. they are participating for a party #running in the election #i gave them my perspective on being transgender and gay and watched them have like. 3 or 4 ''are we the baddies'' moments #explained what puberty blockers actually do. that surgery is paid out of peoples own pockets. that we literally only have #one doctor who can perform these surgeries and hes abt to retire #and at the end of the convo they were like ''youre so pleasant. youre really smart young lady'' and i was like ''ty? i just. read a lot' #god i hope they learned. something. or i changed some opinion. they seemed to have a more positive view of autistic people at least #i just like. fuck dude. these fuckin right wing grifters are ruining these peoples lives. #the lady has been unemployeed since covid cos she got sucked into this antivax stuff and now theyre both financially unstable #perfect targets for tamaki and the freedoms people who were known for squeezing money out of people through bogus religious stuff #those two have been twisted into just. hateful and scared and are saying the most. insane shit and they dont even realize it. #and the worst part of it was the amount of young people there. so many people my age just deluded into this nonsense. #and kids JESUS CHRIST so many kids holding signs about ''protecting the kiwi way of life'' like bro every single thing #you are getting upset about an imported culture war. you arent threatened by this shit. #youve latched onto american culture war stuff because youre insecure in your whiteness and existence in a colonial country #its so fucking evil.

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

eugh not a fan of my ex boyfriend excitedly going to tell our group that he has a crush on someone

#i so desperately need to know who it is so i have more information to be desperately insecure about #just me rambling again #being actively in a friend group with your ex where many of your friends will avidly flirt back and forth with him also isn't. the most fun #especially bc the main 2 friends that flirt back and fourth with him are the two that know the most about how #badly the relationship fucked me up #so. fun :] #it makes me incredibly uncomfortable but also our group has a very flirtatious energy so i have no right to be #i just have to get over it i am making this post so that i dont say anything because that would be bitchy #also i literally cannot say anything about the main part of this post bothering me bc i literally have told the group i have a crush #but alsooooo i need my ex boyfriend to tell me who he likes immediately so that i can turn around and violently compare myself #and like take note of all the ways that they're more interesting than me #y'know #but like we're friends obviously he has full right to?? tell us Abt a life update he's excited about #hence... tumblr dot com vent post so i don't become a bitch in person and i can continue to ignore any negative feelings i have

[a-little-bit-poss]

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#im probably gonna be spending a lot of my life mourning my sisters and my relationship #we were so close but now we dont really talk outside of gatherings #i dunno #we're both living our own lives and it takes two to be distant #theres a lot of things i hate about her and its probably mostly stuff that hits my own insecurities #i used to come to her with all kinds of things #now its like she doesnt respond to my lil reachings out so like i dunno #we work for the same fucking college for fucks sake #im prolly always gonna resent her for applying and moving here without telling me and just having me hear second hand #like yes im not blameless but also like fuck her #i continue to prove i dont need her but also i miss her #we only hurt each other when we do talk #the fact my old coworker reminded me of her so much was probably part of why i hated her so bad #fuck people who think theyre better than me (read people i think are better than me) #my mom called today and thats whats got me thinking like this #im great #people love me #im loved #honestly my familys where i get all my abandonment issues #im better off without all of them but by god if thats gonna stop me from like feeling the ache of their absence like a phantom limb