#people will do anything anything anything not to acknowledge that i'm queer then still treat me like there's something off about me

[gideonisms]

Sometimes the way other people perceive me makes me want to turn into a dragon and eat them. dungeon meshi spoilers I guess

#she's living my dream #was told i 'ooze femininity' today #GUESS WHAT I WAS WEARING. #if you guessed men's shirt men's pants men's belt men's hoodie men's cologne you would be correct! #another coworker asked if i had a boyfriend. DO YOU THINK SO #people will do anything anything anything not to acknowledge that i'm queer then still treat me like there's something off about me #or they'll see just whatever they want to see. if they want me to be fuckable then i am. #don't let little things like my own opinions and desires stop you!

[rthko]

"Validity" as a concept is antithetical to queerness as an academic or political tendency. If you take validity to mean "let's all be nice to each other" then sure, I'll link arms and frolic around right with you. Instead, validity is shorthand for expertise or speaking authority. It's something ontological to you and your identity, and no amount of learning or life experience is required for your credibility. You might then be drawn to queerness as a tendency because it is open-ended, but the open-endedness of queerness in this view begins and ends with the idea that "LGBT" just doesn't have enough letters. I am not going to debate who formally belongs; that is not the point I want to make, and it's an argument that queerness as a tendency circumvents. Some don't even view it as an identity to begin with! But queerness as a tendency is, almost definitionally, critical of ontology and the reification of identity over behavior. It is very deliberately not a closed identity politics. Some have argued that conceiving, say, homosexuality, as an abstract identity rather than behavior, leads to a politics that is euphemistic and apologetic about the very sex that first defined the concept. Love the sinner, hate the sin.

And so I see a subset both online and off that is both singularly concerned with "validity" and proudly Capital Q Queer. Not gay as in happy but queer as in "has a vague understanding of who Marsha P Johnson was," et cetera. They are unsatisfied with the limitations, real and perceived, of LGBT activism. Yet their solution is to go through the same legitimizing plots for newly minted identities that stifled LGBT activism to begin with! You are valid, you were born this way, your credibility comes with the territory of your identity alone. Everyone is deserving of kindness, and belonging should not be held ransom until you fulfill some expected milestones. I think even cis straight people can belong in queer spaces (whatever we mean by this), if they're respectful. Your local drag performers need the tips anyway. But if you are not reading, if you are not engaging with queer culture, if you are not connected to any scene, then I'm not sure why you would expect to be treated as an expert. People without these perspectives and experiences, even if they belong to a particular identity, will not see a broad picture. Look no further than statements that begin with "as a queer person" and end with some diatribe against kink at pride or whatever the outrage du jour happens to be.

Before the obvious hypocrisy of my statement comes up, I want to acknowledge that I've been there. Like any other Tumblr-riddled individual, I've been obsessed with blogging about queerness for years without living it or learning about it in any meaningful way. To this day I am very uncomfortable with being treated as any kind of expert. But I wonder: was being told I don't need to do this or that to be valid helpful? I'll extend it beyond queerness: "you don't need to read theory to be a leftist," et cetera. We were railing against gatekeepers: not institutions with the power to gatekeep in any meaningful way, but people with no real power of their own. Was I doing myself any favors by not doing anything to broaden my perspectives but still demanding to be taken seriously? So, you don't need to do this, you don't need to do that, but you can, and you might enjoy it. Queer activism and literature defend ways of living, pleasure seeking, and saying yes to life. If you want to do all of this for clout or "validity," start over. Do it because you can.

[xxlovelynovaxx]

The whole point is you don't know if they're fem cis men. You don't know if they're trans men. You don't know if they're trans women deeply closeted for their safety. You don't know if they're trans women whom misgendering will drive them further AWAY from their egg cracking and harm them. You. Don't. Know.

Misgendering is bad. "Clocking" someone is bad. Making assumptions about someone's identity and then turning it into a "joke" is bad. What's funny about misgendering someone?

Also, this discourse is literally in the context of the queer community. It's literally in the context of the queer community having an antimasculinity and gender essentialism problem. It's also in the context of gender stereotypes and the fact that smelling like flowers or painting your nails making you a girl doesn't become less of a harmless stereotype because it's a trans woman saying it. Like oh wow we went full circle from "girls play with dolls and like pink" to "trans girls play with dolls and like pink". Congrats on alienating every non-femme trans woman and femme trans non-woman.

It's not fucking transmisogyny to tell you not to misgender people or assume liking frilly things makes someone a girl. It's not fucking transmisogyny to tell you that the QUEER and especially TRANS communities have an issue with valorizing femininity while demonizing masculinity. It's not fucking transmisogyny to acknowledge this while acknowledging that actual transmisogyny demonizes transfemininity while infantilizing and erasing transmasculinity.

I'm putting the word transmisogyny on a high shelf until the rest of y'all learn what it actually fucking means. Transmisogyny isn't when an entitled white trans woman gets called out for doing actual harm. Like "joking" about misgendering someone. Or "joking" about being racist and going through a "nazi phase". Or "joking" about "raping cuntboys". It might be affirming that some queer people take your white woman's tears at face value, but here's the thing:

You're lovely women who deserve to have every access to transition, to resources, to be treated equally to cis people. You're just really fucking shitty people. You're bigots, you're cruel, you're cliquey, and you're like every boring high school mean girl who never grew out of pettily bullying other vulnerable people to get over the pathetic inadequacies of your own life circumstances.

People like that deserve community and kindness too. They also deserve not to have their behavior tolerated and to have to deal with compassionate rehabilitative justice. Those things can both be true, especially when the people they are hurting explain until our throats are raw how they're hurting us and they just keep doing it. Because the thing is, it's not actually about any "societal pressure to transition", and the fact you think it is shows you haven't listened to a single actual criticism anyone has had of the whole "egg discourse".

Other people have already explained more patiently and eloquently than me what exactly the problem with calling someone an egg is. I'd think you'd be concerned minimally with how it hurts actual transfem eggs more than anything, even if you don't care about how it very much does hurt transmascs and GNC cis men and the movement of transfeminism as a damn whole to insist "haha liking fem things=woman".

Explain what's funny about that. I'll wait.

Anyway, this was reblogged from someone I long ago considered a friend, someone I thought was better than this. I really thought most trans people were better than this when I first entered the community. I still hope some are. You deserve to be told that this is wrong, because you deserve to be reminded that you're better people than this kind of bullshit.

-your utterly over it neighborhood intersex transneufemmasc

#I AM a fucking trans woman and you'll never fucking convince me that joking about misgendering people is okay #regardless of their actual identity #or that joking about clocking people is okay #or the harm this does to actual eggs is okay #or the harm this does to transmascs and GNC folks is okay #or the ways this sets both cisfeminism and transfeminism back to the fucking 90s at least is okay #y'all are as bad as bigoted comedians clinging to the same unfunny jokes and crying bigotry just bc people tell you it's bigoted #like seriously y'all fucking get over yourselves #discourse cw

[the1975attheirverybest]

I'm seeing on twitter some very angry people from Malaysia. They are complaining because they paid for the show and didn't have it, that other people can be somehow punished and that this doesn't effectively changes anything. Also, they say that It makes It more dificult to have international artists doing shows there.

Do you have an opinion on these issues?

Yeah, so, with regards to not getting the show they paid for, this was the show. They got it. This was it. It’s not the show they thought they were going to see, but this is the 1975. That’s what they do. And that was only possible show for them to put on under the circumstances. Just because it wasn’t a 12 song setlist (usual average length of a festival show) doesn’t mean it wasn’t real or thought out. In fact, it was more real and thought out that most other gigs.

Put yourself in the bands shoes. They got banned from Dubai for a similar thing. They’ve spoken up about queer rights several times in the US. Written songs about it. Did we really think that they would show up, take money from homophobes, smile and wave and act like all is well? It was clear from Matty’s speech that he weighed his options. And he had the fans in mind as he thought it through. He acknowledged that the fans are not a reflection of the government and that they’re probably progressive and perhaps some of them are even queer themselves. But he couldn’t do it in good faith. And that’s what the bands spirit is. That’s what they do. Who they are. What they stand for.

The “it won’t change anything” argument doesn’t really make sense to me, tbh. Just because a person doesn’t have direct political influence, doesn’t mean that they should just go with whatever their oppressive governments tell them to do. In fact, it’s precisely BECAUSE of their privilege that the 1975 SHOULD do this. Because they can get away with it in ways that Malaysian queer people can’t. When you have power that other people don’t, what kind of person would you be if you didn’t use it to amplify marginalized voices? Nothing was going to happen to the fans, they’re Malaysian, they know this. I’m speaking as an Arab myself. An Arab who lived in Dubai (where the 1975 is also banned). I won’t insult their culture or identity by saying that they’re 100% the same, but their governments oppression is the same as the oppression that I have seen. They all have the same source (Saudi Arabia) and operate under the same assumptions. They wouldn’t prosecute fans for coming to the show at which this happened.

I think gestures of solidarity, and symbolic acknowledgements are important. Because this wasn’t JUST about Malaysia and it’s government. This is for every queer fan who feels threatened and marginalized right now. It’s important that they feel seen and supported by their artists. Matty is constantly talking about how it’s an artists role to “signpost towards utopia.” We are a long, long ways away from a utopia, but I think treating people with equal dignity and respect is the bare fuckin minimum. They were fulfilling their role as artists by doing this. Sometimes, the consequences are worth it even when they don’t lead to direct, overnight change in government policy. If we only ever attempted change when we were absolutely certain of the effect it was going to have and the success of our desired result, then nobody would ever risk anything. This all or nothing mentality pervades our culture these days. Especially online and especially by young people. Just because the US is not going to turn into a perfect country with free healthcare and education and anti-racist policies doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still try. Stay engaged. Vote. Just because someone made a mistake that proved them to be human, flawed, and less than perfect, doesn’t mean they can’t still be a good person. If we keep thinking “it’s either a whole win or I don’t want it” then we won’t get very far.

It’s not gonna make it harder for international artists to come to Malaysia. Corporate mouth pieces who choose cash over political and moral value are still going to agree to perform. It just won’t be the 1975 (or artists like them).

As a Muslim: homophobia is not part of our religion or our culture. Oppression is not a cultural convention that is worthy of respect or reverence. Again, I’m arab. I know about colonialism. Yes, westerners, especially white men, do have a long track record (as long as history itself) of disrespecting our culture and religion, denigrating our identities, forcing their beliefs on us in the name of “spreading democracy” and “enlightening us” and “bringing us civilization.” The result of that is a fractured cultural and historical identity. A lot of damage to our religions and traditions. To our languages even. What the 1975 did today was NOT that. If you think that God wants you to oppress other because of their sexuality, or if you think that your marginalization of queer people is something that people should respect and uphold, then the 1975’s show today was for you. Hope you got the message.

[gemsofthegalaxy]

Actually sometimes if I think about it I am a little mad that Greg's blatant experience of Tom's homophobic powerplays and abuse is treated as almost nothing in the Family Abuse Through Capitalism show. it's, like, intentionally played for laughs most times.

At the same time, I love the two of them and find them compelling and interesting because I love jealously, possession, and devotion and I ship as many straight ships as I do gay ones. As much as I do want wholesome gay rep I also want hand-in-unlovable-hand, nobody-can-love-you-like-I-do stories too. I'm not mad at my fellow fans for just sort of sweeping it away because the show also does, I think? Perhaps there is an angle I am missing but-

Shiv gets to experience the whole gambit of being a scummy person and a woman and using her position to fuck over other women, but still having harrowing experiences of misogyny when she's utterly surrounded by men. It's heart- and gut-wrenching to watch. Layered and interesting. People have differing opinions, still, but it's in the text and it always has been.

Greg, meanwhile, is ambiguously straight. There are queer readings we can have- going from completely disinterested in sex/women to loudly and obnoxiously flirting with them publically as he gains an increasingly important position and plays the expected part he has to play. Not to mention, his pointedly absent father is gay, more than enough reason for him to not come out.

But we never get a confirmation and... I don't know if I would say there's been anything of Greg grappling with the specifically homoerotic way that Tom has tormented him. Greg seems to be mildly weirded out and then rolls with it- does he not recognize the game Tom is playing? is that a commentary on how victims may not recognize the abuse? If Greg was scared of Tom hurting him, why fuck him over on multiple separate occasions and even right after experiencing physical assault. I'm not asking what Greg's point is, but what is deal is, instead. Cause I can't figure out what they're saying with him when it comes to Tom's emotional abuse specifically.

In my opinion, we still don't have a confirmation on whether Greg really cares about Tom in return (as Tom had tried to make Greg emotionally reliant on himself but ended up emotionally reliant on Greg). Based on last night I think he does, honestly, at least like Tom's company and want to stick with him. Whether he does stay with Tom or not still remains to be seen and I think he's been vague enough they could go any way they want with him.

Greg is not only not a serious person, he's not a serious character, I think. And to me that's a wee bit of a shame. Yes, we also get ambiguous sexuality and issues with Roman but we've also had a deal of exploration of that- I would like more, but, it's been covered. It's been at least addressed, in some way.

Lastly, I will acknowledge that I don't even know what it is I'm asking for, here. I just feel the storytellers are maybe treating the queerness with a bit much levity for the world they've created. And I think the exploration of varying forms of discrimination as they layer on top of the Capitalism-Abuse has left something to be desired, perhaps, and all feel underexplored to me.

#succession #succession spoilers #greg hirsch #greg danced with an old man was super funny but its like #why him. and an older man specifically. hm? #its only funny due to his implicit ambiguous queerness. and it is... funny. obviously. #long post #sorry sorry #i hope nobody gets maaaaad #tomgreg #it is. technically about them

[douwatahima]

idk i'm feeling kinda riled up today and i want to talk about why the fight for ofmd is so important to me.

so listen. i've been in fandoms for a loooooong time. i remember when the sheer idea of a show (that wasn't something like, say, queer as folk) having any sort of lgbt representation was a major rarity. the idea of a random character suddenly coming out in your favourite sci fi/fantasy/action show? no way in hell. and those of us in fandom kinda came to accept that. we were queering the hell out of everything we came across, don't get me wrong, but it was because the idea of a series suddenly having a character textually be queer was just…not a thing that happened most of the time.

then came the age of queerbaiting. as someone who was in the supernatural fandom from very early on, i remember how those first few seasons of the ~great destiel saga~ felt to watch. they actively hinted at and joked about their relationship! they acknowledged the elephant in the room! surely they wouldn't do that unless it meant something!!! but then of course came the years and years of the cast and crew sneering at the people who had the audacity to…listen to the words that came out of the character's mouths and have thoughts about them. and yeah, eventually (like a decade later) cas told dean he loved him, but even now the people who worked on the show seem reluctant to say that that was a romantic moment. and that's just one example that i'm more intimately familiar with! there are so many others! just straight up gaslighting queer fans so they can keep making money off of us with no intention of actually giving us what we want; all while acting like they were doing us a favour by doing anything at all.

and it sucked! it clearly sucked! but the more time went on the less surprising it became. because at the end of the day it came down to what it always comes down to; money. there's this idea (not just in media) that there are certain people who are the "default". people whose experiences are universal and easy to understand. white people. straight people. cis people. when it comes to media, stories about these people are seen as something anyone can watch and understand. but when you try to tell stories about people who fall outside of these categories? well, now you're making niche content that only people who fall into that niche will be able to identify with.

and look, i know i'm preaching to the choir here. this is tumblr. we all know there's a lot of racism, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia in the world. my point is that the narrative around queerbaiting from an industry standpoint seemed to be "yeah, we want the ad revenue from all of these lgbt people watching our shows, but if we commit to actually making any of our characters queer we're going to isolate our straight audience and lose most of our viewers". and there was never any concrete way to disprove that. so yeah. we would occasionally be blessed by a ~very special show~ that actually depicted queerness (usually about younger people coming out, or about the tragedies that can and have faced people in our community), but the idea of branching out beyond that seemed like a no go.

and then along came our flag means death. a show about pirates that also talked about toxic masculinity and had characters who were casually queer in every different variety and also featured people with different body types who came from different cultures and who were all treated with kindness and grace. a show that didn't necessarily market itself specifically as ~a queer show~ (which, was probably in part due to trying to bury the lead which sucks, but the point still stands) but rather a fun show anyone could watch. that wasn't specifically about coming out or tragedy but was more so about joy, and community, and love. and here's the thing. here's the wild as fuck thing that happened. this show? it didn't lose all of its viewers when those last two episodes of season 1 aired and it confirmed without a shadow of a doubt that ed and stede were in love. the opposite happened. this show fucking soared into the stratosphere.

i remember the first time i saw those parrot analytics charts showing that ofmd was the most in demand new series; out performing marvel even. i was so overcome i legit broke down in tears. because it turns out all of those times i had been told to sit back and accept the scraps i was given because that was all my community was profitable enough to get, those people were wrong. we could've had this the whole time! WE COULD'VE HAD THIS THE WHOLE TIME!!! and as the weeks progressed and ofmd remained at the top of every chart, as the show continued to succeed, i felt such an immense amount of joy! those people were wrong! we can just have this and it'll do well!!!

and yeah, apparently that wasn't enough to convince the powers that be. they spent forever deciding whether to renew it and when they finally did the budget was cut nearly in half and the people at max decided they needed to oversee the show a lot more. all of this sucks. but the thing is they made season 2 and they fucking did it again! the show got even better critics scores than last time! the show was doing numbers better than season 3 of succession! the merch, only released in october, became some of the best selling merch of 2023 on the max shop! by max's own admission season 2 was one of the biggest hits of the year for them!!! like, what more is there? the show is a success!!!

so yeah. i'm not going to accept the fucking stupid excuses max gives as to why they cancelled it. saying that it didn't have the numbers (it did), or that they didn't know how to market violence (they do), or that it didn't have awards buzz (it has literally been nominated for awards and there's still active fyc ads the company itself made) just doesn't cut it. there was no reason to cancel it other than the idea that diverse media "doesn't sell". and max, by airing this show you have shown me that that fucking isn't true. it's never been true. so i'm going to keep fighting for this one until someone picks it up or until i'm old and grey because it isn't just about ofmd. it's about the belief that our stories, the stories of people who aren't "the default" are worth telling. by every metric they are worth telling. and that is something that i know is worth fighting for.

#tv: our flag means death #ofmd #sorry this gets kinda preachy i have a lot of feelings about this

[solarwynd]

Some pjms are immature and let their own desires and assumptions overtake. A lot of them need to remember jimin is a grown man and not their friend. They create ideas of him based on their own interpretations and run with it. It starts with his career. Jimin is not a clueless person. Yes he can get screwed over and he has by his label during his solo era but he's not a child that has no idea what choices to make and he's not miserable. Some solos love playing managers or think they know better than him. Even the art cover for closer than this, which is usual hybe work they were ranting about it but how about letting jimin decide what he wants to do? Idk but I feel like out of all pjms nitpick so much while other solos just eat everything up. Of course we aren't a cult and we don't have to like everything but let's have boundaries and respect him. Also, people need to know the difference between art interpretation and a real person. Saying Jimin's art is queer coded or even interpreting things in that way to is one thing but it's another to make statements on his life using that. We don't know him and it's unfair to speak on someone's private life without their consent. I say this as a queer person. However one express themselves isn't a sign to state things for them. And no I'm not saying he's straight and I'm aware of the bisexual coding. But that still isn't enough for me to speak on the life of a man I don't know. And using the he can't come out argument for me also doesn't work because not everyone even wants to come out or even tries to. As a queer person myself maybe my expression shows in ways I'm queer because it happens for some and it doesn't for others so once again not denying anything but I'm not asking people to speak on it without my consent just because of the way I express myself. That's the thing consent is a big thing with things like this. I know people are curious and I'm not saying this to come at harmless queer fans. But it's not all of us and too many are overstepping and treating him like a fictional character. I'll say it's especially white queer fans and it reeks of racism and western centric ideas targeting East-asian men. And the confirmation bias is a big thing. If you look for something you will find it. Like jimin himself said in his doc filter wasn't about himself personally and just a concept while some were asserting it is to make statements about him personally. I wouldn't care if it wasn't becoming risky for him. Some of the things people were saying on Jimin's behalf regarding his sexuality and private life he never disclosed to us ahead of his enlistment were disappointing to see because it's all projection and some move like they want it to have negative repercussions for him in real life just to validate their ideas. Let me not get into the fetishizing and overly sexual lens with which all of his interactions with men are seen it's like they can't see jimin in a normal lens or let him have male friends or interactions without legit sexually harassing him over it. And I single out pjms because that's his solo fandom and I expect them to be better but this is heavily on armys/shippers too. I hope everyone takes a step back and stop being so invested in Jimin's life while he's enlisted. Because stanning should be a hobby. It's not trying to live through someone else's life. I forgot to add: there's so much biphobia it's awful to see. Because it's really both queer/gay and straight people never acknowledging bi people. It's not lost on me how people react at the idea of jimin being with a woman or even reinforcing mlm stereotypes on him based on his appearance. All because he's a pretty man. Anyways this ended up being too long but I hope for a fandom cleaning in these 18 months and for everyone to get in touch with reality. For everyone's sake and for Jimin's especially. He deserves better and respectful fans and I know he has to talent and potential to have a long and thriving career as a soloist-the best out of korea - when he comes back. I hope fans can support him the right way.

.💯

#like #🎯🎯🎯

[invinciblerodent]

Hey! Agree that erasure sucks big time. As a lesbian, I very often see that devs make every character in a game bi, with no lesbian rep at all. That puts me in a difficult situation when I want to respect bi people but also want to have rep of my own. :(

Though I admit, I can kind of read a bit of a tongue-in-cheek comment into this message (which could just be me feeling defensive in general over this topic, I'm fully aware that I am and definitely mean no ill will towards you), but I'll take you at face value on this and assume you meant no ill will either lol.

Honestly, I'll definitely always agree that there need to be more canonically queer characters and experiences portrayed of every orientation and gender, only I'd definitely argue that bisexuality specifically is kind of in a unique position where it's... it's so often used purely as a game mechanic that, despite its theoretical existence in a narrative, it can often, and to many players, not even be interpretable as any sort of real representation either. Especially with how many games, past and present, kind of conceal their characters' queerness behind the players' intentions to seek it out (basically treating them as "straight until proven gay"), which often implies monosexuality (at the lack of a better term) in the text regardless of the existence of another mechanic, even if the character could technically be considered bisexual.

There is a very clear difference in my mind (and in the minds of -as far as I can tell- the majority of other bisexual players) between characters being canonically bi, and them being mechanically bi, in that in that the latter case, you can often play and engage with, or even romance characters without ever needing to acknowledge them as anything other than monosexual (again, lacking a better concise term) in a way that happens to coincide with your PC's sexuality. They can be seen as gay if you're the same sex, and as straight if you're not. But in BG3 specifically, even though the dialogue with the player themselves doesn't really seem to address the companions' sexuality head-on (you can't, like, walk up to Wyll and ask him "so, hey man, what's, like, your.... whole deal, or whatever?", you have to listen to him and connect the dots), it IS really nice, and a nice change of pace that this is not a thing. That no queer content is hidden behind "the gay button", that you aren't limited to being exposed to their queerness while in a romance with them, and that you cannot, literally cannot, play the game in a way that would make the world less queer, or make it seem like the characters are merely adapting to the gender of the player character.

Because they all hit on-, or express attraction to at least a few others regardless of gender, without it immediately implying anything beyond them all just... being attracted to people of different genders.

I watched this slightly older video essay by verilybitchie just a little while ago that went into this exact thing in a lot more detail, and I honestly recommend it to everyone. Since the video is two years old now, she of course doesn't address BG3 specifically (I'd love to hear her thoughts on it though! the end note where she talks about how excited she is for what might be coming next really warmed my heart!), but otherwise it's a good runthrough of my thoughts and experiences on- and with the issue as well.

(And, to be honest.... as a side note, romancing a bi character is.... still respectful, if you play your own character as monosexual? Like I do that all the time too, so that part of your message... kind of confused me?

Like... the only way romancing, say, Karlach for example as a woman can be considered in any way disrespectful to us bi people, is if you play that in an angle that erases her bisexuality, simply because she happens to be in a same-sex romance in your game. But that's less an issue of representation in the game itself imo, and more just... this strictly theoretical player themselves being at least a little bit biphobic and erasing her sexuality based on the gender of her partner, even if that isn't their intention.)

#squirrel speaks #about queer shit yaaaaay

[pastelwitchling]

Season 4 did Malex so dirty! All that hyping up that Michael was going to go 'feral' when he realized Alex was missing only to have it be two minutes of reacting that was condemned as a 'tantrum'. And Alex just... stopped being allowed to have negative emotions? Couldn't even be afraid of dying, or angry about it? Even the proposal was done as 'marry me because it'll make us happy' instead of 'because I'm scared' which did both of them an injustice. Made Alex difficult to relate to and denied Michael a chance to step up as Alex’s emotional support - he can't support someone who's not allowed to be upset in the first place! (I honestly hated the proposal going down like that - could do an essay on how gross it was for all parties involved, especially Michael not knowing Alex was dying when he was asked)

The perfect way to sum up Alex's storyline (and "arc" according to CAM) is your point exactly, anon; he was deemed too much trouble when he was afraid and angry, so the solution was to just never let him be afraid or angry anymore. And still he was given the consequences to deal with for both of them on his own.

Here's honestly my whole thought on their wedding. The writers saw that Shadowhunters had done the same thing at its end, saw how much people loved it, and thought, Yeah! We could do that!

Never mind the fact that Magnus and Alec spent seasons openly communicating, confessing their fears and anger to one another, dealing with problems together, and trusting each other. Never mind the fact that they had open, adult conversations (AND ALEC IS SUPPOSED TO BE, LIKE, TEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN MALEX) about how Alec doesn't need to date other people to know who he wants and loves. Never mind the fact that Malec's wedding was earned through trials and tribulations that they faced together, with never any doubt that they were allowed to confide in each other and depend on each other.

So you know what that proposal and wedding always was to me?

A copy of malec without the hard work. It worked for Magnus and Alec, it should would work for Alex and Michael.

A "cure-all" for all the damage that was done with malex in the past. Instead of, oh I don't know, having Michael or M*ria face any consequences for their actions and betrayals, eh! We'll just have them get married and let M*ria walk Alex down the aisle without anyone having learned anything or faced any guilt or hard self-reflections! That immediately erases all the harm of the past!

A dried up well of imagination. We have no idea how to properly end the series with these two because we never actually gave much of a crap about them. What is at the center of Alex's universe? Michael! We'll just marry them then, that ought to make the gays happy! Look at how tolerant and diverse we are! We give so much screen time to a woc who is essentially the worst of the villains because unlike them she never faced the consequences of her own actions or acknowledged having done anything wrong, while Alex gets what he's always wanted; Michael Guerin! How lucky is he? Sure, he's a complex character with a rich history, story, and personality, but more important than all of that; he's queer. So let's focus on that and ignore everything else about him because seeing him married is surely more respectful to him as a character than seeing him get the acknowledgment, friendship, apologies, and love he's owed, right?

Golly gee, how the CW just gets the little guy, huh?

That proposal was done as a way to weasel out of the fact that Michael treated Alex like crap. But having them marry automatically makes everything better and totally evens out everything he's done. Because that's all queer people want, really. Seeing two guys marry instead of seeing two guys genuinely love and respect one another. And unfortunately, it seems the writers on that show never really understood that difference.

#ask rin #malex #rnm rant #roswell new mexico #anti maria deluca

[vampire-connoisseur]

I feel like I see a lot of trans people, especially trans women, who are also threatened by Finn. I see them saying things like, "He must be an egg. He must be in the closet. No man would be comfortable dressing and looking like a woman." Any thoughts on this?

I don't know anything about opinions on Finn by demographic, but I do feel like he's almost like an indicator species for the rest of a person's belief ecosystem.

A lot of nonbinary exclusionists and cis queers with unexamined biases get... really weird about gnc people. A lot of the time I think it's young queer people, or people who only engage with virtual queer spaces, because those groups tend to emphasize clear labels.

The reality is that gender nonconforming people are part of queer history and have been for a really long time. A lot of young queer people don't really consider anything that happened before the internet in relation to identities.

Usually, people either insist that anyone who wants to dress or be perceived as a gender other than their own must be trans and just hasn't acknowledged that yet, or they insist that it's part of a fetish or, more recently, for attention or monetary gain.

I think one thing that gets overlooked in discourse about the queer community is that a lot of the arguments we have come from outside. Queer people still hear rhetoric about their own community from news sources, their friends and family, and each other which they don't always identify as having ill intent. That's how you get cis queers parroting anti-gay talking points repackaged for trans people (locker room/bathroom debate, brainwashing the children, etc.)

So I think my main view on this is that queer and non-queer people have a lot of the same feelings when faced with something they don't understand, and the only reason it seems different is because queer people use different reasoning to justify their beliefs.

For myself, I've learned that any argument about a person or community: making another group look bad, just doing it for attention, following a trend, faking it for clout, faking it for sympathy, doing it for an aesthetic, doing one *highly specific thing* wrong which makes an otherwise harmless thing unacceptable, doing it because of a fetish, or doing it because they're ~mentally ill~

(I'm sure there are other things that belong on that list)

Any argument centering around one of those things should be treated with a lot of suspicion, because they're all just reasons to discredit people and therefore not have to examine your real reasons for objecting.

Those are my thoughts on this, anyway.

#f1nn5ter #ask

[vizthedatum]

Pride is about existence and the right to persist in existence

As Pride celebrations kick off in my city, I am once again left to the devices of my own mind and body about what it all means.

Earlier, I talked about how I'm so ambivalent about going to the "corporate" Pride celebration in my city. It seems so performative... it seems like a spectacle in the name of acceptance and raising awareness. It feels like a slap in the face to know that U.S. Steel is one of the largest sponsors in a city where they have systematically busted unions and deprived people of their rights.

But isn't gender and our expression to love also performative? And there are so many folks who benefit from mingling with their community, sharing their creations, and simply having fun. It promotes visibility and the humanity of who we are.

Isn't the inclusion of people-centric ideals into the cogs of capitalism a good thing? So that despite how they try to control us, they must acknowledge that we exist? And that they will have to conform to our existence instead of the other way around?

I mean, it's also a spectacle for me to get my nails done - is that Pride?

--

What is Pride?

In my own opinion based on my life experience of being closeted, mocked, torn down, accepted, fluid, a "great ally" *girlish giggle*, abused, confused, traumatized, loved, and out:

It's about our right to exist whoever we are regardless of the regimes and constructs that exist in our society. It's about hating and revolting against cops and authorities who seek to tear us down while still acknowledging that there are very few tools in our society to use when we do need help... and being mad about it.

It's about seeing a person shake their head while I'm holding hands with my girlfriend and she's just mundanely talking to me about life stuff - and knowing that despite their disapproval, they know that we exist. They know we exist, and they don't like it, and it's not our problem, but we are also allowed to protect ourselves when they make it our problem.

Tangent: we have very few tools in our society to protect ourselves (I will be the first to admit that I'm ACAB but I still had a police escort come with me to rightfully enter my home where my queer, black spouse was barring me from entry and accusing me of abuse despite me putting them on a fucking pedestal for the entirety of our relationship (they turned on me because of not who I was (a person who will always love them and see the good in them - even though I am also angry about how they treated me (what an ableist asshole)) but because of who they were - they are so unhealed that they assumed that I would act like them)). Secondary tangent: Pride is about trying to do better in our society to come up with more tools that can not only make things equitable but provide justice for all populations. Tertiary tangent: Pride is not just for and about queer people. It's about everyone!

--

So what would serve me this Pride month?

I am going into hermit mode today until Sunday evening to intentionally take space for myself and to make my new home beautiful. It is a far better use of my time than to go to a Pride celebration. I do not judge anyone for going.

I am going to flaunt my existence as loudly as I can for not just this month, but as long as I live. I heal loudly now, and it's beautiful. It's beautiful even when I cry or rage or smile or anything.

I am assigning pronouns to my vulva - his pronouns are he/him/his. Please take note.

I am gonna practice chest-binding more and going out. I love my boobs more knowing that one day (hopefully) they will feed my child and that I will get a reduction or mastectomy in the future. I also love the attention they get, and I love to flaunt them. I enjoy the sensations of the environment and other people around them. All of it can be true. It is true to me, and that is what matters.

I am going to go into public spaces while holding my partner's or lover's hands.

I am going to celebrate friendship and community while being firm in my personal boundaries, even as they evolve. I will be kind to myself by resting in whatever form that may be, and I will understand and not take it personally if other people need space/rest too.

I want to practice NOT using JADE (justifying, arguing, defending, explaining) - My body still feels uncomfortable not doing this. Especially when people misunderstand me (they always will). "No." is always a complete sentence, and your reaction to my personal boundary is YOUR issue. I can still be compassionate and kind if the situation warrants it. I can still work for mutual understanding and repair if that relationship is important and valuable to all parties. I have learned this over and over from multiple sides (of course I've had ugly reactions to other people's boundaries - I'm human, and I've made mistakes).

--

Thank you for witnessing. I'm grateful to witness you.

#witness #pride #existence #pride is a riot #healing #love #neurodivergence #queer #self love #prose #trans #trans pride #lesbian pride #lgbtqia #pride month #lgbt pride #lgbt #femboy #femboy thoughts #non binary #enby #laughing or ridiculing me is fine and only adds to my power #i love you #do you love you?

[snowdeong]

another day, another reminder that kpopies don't give a flying fuck about anything, not even their precious idols. Because genuinely, if you actually love someone, you will care if they do something wrong. Not because you don't want them to get in trouble but because love also means caring enough about someone to hold them accountable.

It's so fucking dehumanising to not only try and absolve a whole fucking adult woman of her wrong doing but to then see her acknowledge and apologise for that wrong doing and STILL try and make her out to be the good guy in the situation. What???? Chaeyoung is a human being that did something wrong, not our precious uwu "wuv of ouw life" angel or whatever tf these people seem to think. You can stan someone and criticise them. In fact if you stan someone you have more reason to hold them accountable

I get saying that she genuinely might not have known. Gonna use my life experience as an example cause while SK is def more "developed" than Uganda but I think in terms of how our cultures have been influenced by the west we have some similarities in this aspect. The only reason I know what a Swatsika even means really is because being a queer nerd I kind of grew up on the internet and exposed myself to a lot of stuff. Most people my age have an idea of what it is in relation to nazism yes but they either don't care enough to know why it's a hate symbol or they just hand wave it cause the little we do learn about nazism in international schools at least is very detached for lack of a better word. The holocaust in our history class was treated more like "One of the bad things Hitler did" than an actual serious fucking genocide that has serious ramifications even today. Even the way Hitler was discussed was more like "Wow what a bad dude lmao" instead of actually highlighting all the vile shit he did to so many groups of people. And this is just international schools, I guarantee that our local curriculum gives even less of a fuck. If people downplay the meaning of that symbol in places where Jews and other affected people literally live and constantly raise awareness imagine places like Africa and Asia where a lot of our "good education" is either recycled bullshit from the west or so steeped in nationalist propaganda that it doesn't consider the fact that other people and cultures exist in this world.

I'm genuinely not surprised that a lot of Korean and other Asian peeps are like "No but it means something in our religion" and yes that's true and not a lot of people know that despite there being reclamation efforts. But if that means something for you that doesn't mean that it's still not HEAVILY associated with hate

I say all this to say that there's a difference between saying "Chae might not have known what that symbol means" and "it's perfectly okay that she posted that stop attacking her". By the time some rando nobody like me could take the time to learn (and keep learning cause ofc I don't know everything) this stuff despite living in a place where no one gives af it is very possible to learn lmao and Chae should fucking learn. If she didn't know then okay, let her know now that this has happened. Don't pretend it didn't happen. Don't erase the harm that this has caused. If you don't give af then good for you stfu and let the people who do speak, you can leave in your weirdo bubble or whatever but just stfu

#I think I need to get off twitter now #i was trying to stay up to date on the situation but it's really devolved into some assholes saying shit like: #'but she apologised we should stop talking about this' #or complaining that talking about it will hurt twice's image #I hate kpopies sigh #gonna go cook now lmao it's coming to 9 pm

[alleycat4eva]

So, just read up all the asks and responses so far, and I think I have a better understanding of where you're coming from. Tbh, I think it's pretty close to my own experience about 10 years ago when I first started learning more about gender theory and trans issues and tried to reconcile that with feminism and my lived experiences with sexism and misogyny. Thing is, they actually reconcile pretty easily once you take it a step further; sex and gender aren't really that cut and dry anyway, and it never has been. Like, full disclaimer, I'm a nonbinary dfab person, and since I feel no need to medically transition and I find binding uncomfortable, I am still perceived as a woman by society. A butch woman, sure, but unless someone already has the habit of not gendering someone by visual cues then people are going to think I'm female. I was raised female, and have the socialization that goes with it, to the point where even my father, who has only ever been gentle with me, terrifies me if he swears loudly in frustration. Because a man is angry and has raised his voice, and a part of my brain will always interpret that as dangerous. Socialization is a thing, although I believe still controversial even within the trans community. Anecdotally though, I've seen those socializations become learned behaviour after transitioning anyway, because once society perceives you as a given gender it will treat you that way. I think the most important thing to acknowledge here is that yes, the feminist struggle against sexism is still ongoing, and there are a lot of ways society hurts dfab people that it doesn't do to anyone else, but that doesn't need to be separate from recognizing and including trans woman as women, and dfab people who aren't women in the fight for reproductive rights. A trans woman's experience with womanhood and misogyny is still her experience as a woman, it might just differ from a cis woman's. Much in the same way a black woman will experience misogynoir, transmisogyny is still misogyny, it just intersects with another aspect of her identity in a specific way. (There is then, of course, transmisogynoir with its own set of interactions and oh boy why can't humans just accept variance without literally killing others over it already) Basically, "knowing that trans women are women, trans men are men, and nonbinary people are whatever combination or lack there of of the above that they say they are" can and does be something that exists in the same breath as "dfab people face specific persecutions and oppressions related to their biology". Those are facts that exist side by side without contradicting each other. Sorry if I'm waffling or unclear, it's currently 3am and I'm pretty sure some of these points are only half formed anyway (why do I always write on complex topics when I'm not at my best lmao). I'm just really glad to see you engaging with this conversation and researching more about it, and those two things already put you miles ahead of actual terfs. (also a terf would never have written Haku as trans so like. Nah you're just having A Time reconciling and questioning shit, and that's normal and I'm glad you're doing it.) I'm so sorry someone sent you anon hate over? I can't even see anything on your blog that might set someone off on you? either way it's horrific and never okay to do that to someone and that person should be ashamed. But yeah, you're right, this topic is complex and multifaceted but there needs to be space to talk about biology specific discrimination because that is definitely a thing that happens. Thing is, I don't think that conversation ever stopped happening? Tumblr likes to drink the kool aid a bit but it's certainly something actual IRL queer groups have never forgotten to give space to (that I'm aware of). It's just spoken in a way that doesn't alienate people it affects by misgendering them, and doesn't misgender people it doesn't affect. Language is amorphous and ever-changing anyway, why not be inclusive with it?

.

[ablednt]

God though I have a complicated relationship with womanhood like growing up I was afab and by the time I hit puberty I so very much Wanted to be a girl but like. I never felt like one and I never was really treated like one either. Because of my disabilities because of my executive dysfunction I was seen as a girl not in the way a human woman can be a girl and more like how a dog can be a girl.

And that would've done enough damage on its own but all of this took place in a fundamentalist cult setting in which afab people's entire worth hinged on their ability to fit "ladylike" standards. Women were objects in this culture but I was a useless object, I would only ever be the thing doomed to perform gender it is not allowed to have and be mocked for it the idea of anyone actually viewing me as a girl or a woman was out of the question. None of that was ever explicitly stated of course and everyone dangled the idea of me just trying a little harder and actually becoming a real girl was dangled over my head and I spent my teenage years chasing it relentlessly and never succeeding.

So then I stepped into queer spaces and for a while thought I was a cis girl and just really miserable being a girl mostly because I never wanted to transition to anything else I just wanted to get any semblance of self-actualization you know? Becoming a lesbian helped a lot, I stopped feeling ashamed of having bodyhair and in acknowledging my attraction to girls was because they're beautiful and I want to kiss them and not because I'm sad how much more human and girl they are compared to me, my self esteem slowly improved.

But I wasn't there yet because my only tie to girlhood was still the misogyny I experienced, no one made me feel like a woman no one treated me the way other girls I knew were treated, but I had to bear the full brunt of fundementalist misogyny. Not only was I female but I was, in their eyes, defective and deserving to be punished for not being a real woman to them yet being female. Spending a lot of time around exclusionists and cryptoterfs wasn't helping at all because they equated being a woman to that same suffering that I wanted to recover from. I felt unsteady because I was less than a girl already and then I was told that being a girl is just suffering and I felt trapped.

That eventually led me to becoming nonbinary (which, I still am I haven't stopped IDing as that) because finally I was offered an out. If girlhood was a treadmill I was forced to run with broken legs, the nonbinary community turned it off and bought me a wheelchair. I didn't Have to be a girl and I wasn't worth less than "real girls" and outside of the binary there weren't really any standards. Sure hyper-androgyny was expected in a lot of queer spaces but I wasn't really that out as nonbinary so I could just kind of relax and figure myself out.

I spent a few years coming to terms with that and I started to get dysphoric over my body mainly because whilst I'd escaped cis-feminine beauty standards people still saw my size and disabilities and treated me badly and I thought that if I tried to be more boyish I'd at least be seen as a disabled boy instead of a disabled girl (as a little person I still look and sound like a child and unsurprisingly people give young boys a lot more independence and ask a lot less questions than with young girls) but despite having a flat chest I could never pass as masculine very long at all so I grew to resent my body and my voice for not being masculine not because I actually hated being feminine but because I desperately wanted to be treated like a human being. I didn't know anything about disability rights at the time or even that I was disabled so I just identified the dysphoria and struggled with it. I do think it Was gender dysphoria but it was just really compounded by internalized ableism.

Interestingly once I'd spent enough time in my nonbinary identity to take notice of some glaring issues re: cis women's treatment of transmasc people in "inclusive" spaces and started to talk about it all the women who treated me like woman-lite and insisted I perform that toxic femininity for them realized they could not allow me to say "as someone who's woman-alligned I'm calling bullshit on your transphobia" so people very aggressively started misgendering me as masculine. A lot of them were terfs and a lot of them just assumed I was amab because I disagreed with them and it was really distressing to fall right back into being gatekept from womanhood but now very blatantly "you can't be a woman because you're not Like Us you're a man or something else but you're not one of us".

So i unpacked some of my trauma with growing up afab but not Really A Woman and realized I had a lot more underlining dysphoria and resentment towards femininity than I realized. At that point I said "well if you don't want me to be a girl then fuck it I'm not at all a girl anymore. Why would I care to fit into some bullshit standards anyway?"

That lasted a little while until I made friends with other trans and nonbinary people who were happily feminine or woman alligned. Mostly it came in the form of a lot of light hearted "girl power" jokes and just making girlhood something light-hearted and free of any actual standards and that really gradually healed something in me. I was discovering a femininity and womanhood that was genuine and desirable, girl can mean anyrhing a girl wants it to mean and that was something new it wasn't the gender I was assigned at birth by a fucking long shot.

The past year, even though I'm still definitely nonbinary, I've become completely comfortable calling myself a girl again and using she/her in addition to they/them and now I know the problem was never that I didn't want to be a girl but that girlhood and most cis people's idea of girlhood are just different genders entirely.

I'm not detrans or anything especially considering I never had any sort of transition other than the pronouns I still use but I have that experience of "when you question your gender you unlock your original gender 2.0" and it's really pleasant is the thing.

#ask to tag #long post #I've been getting actual gender euphoria lately #it's really nice :]

[intimate-reaper]

Devotional commentary and rambling

"Jesus was completely interested in those forgotten, overlooked, oppressed. We can’t escape it. So instead we join it. This means that to Be Human, we put action to our conviction to follow Jesus ... Justice is standing up for someone who cannot stand up for themselves."

I feel forgotten by the other communities I'm a part of.

I feel the urge to apologize for things out of my control. And that's so ironic because I'm not supposed to, right? That goes against bpd, anxious attachment, codependent recovery. The truth is everything - leftism, queer spaces, mental health spaces, whatever - act like they have these values but I'm not included in them for no reason.

When I started seeing "nomaps dni" I understand it more clearly. It doesn't actually matter *what* I do. So why would I try to gain your approval?

I have things I care about. A limited number of attention span units if you will. I mean obviously one of them will be the welfare of minors and youth. Not only because I believe in sublimation but because I was one and we were all. That is the basis for any human rights is how we treat the youngest "beginner" humans. And this is unfortunately the group losing rights, like in the USA where the children's bill of rights isn't even ratified, it's just.. disgusting. And overwhelming for someone who only recently found a house after hotels/being kicked out.

But what's even more overwhelming is that it's the same answer to this question.

"What is one thing that distracts you from the Father?"

Probably the people who tell me that I deserve to kill myself or be institutionalized/imprisoned for life just for existing. No, most of us don't need "intensive" therapy to not be rapists. I simply don't rape people like anybody else?

"It feels like work to read the Bible, pray, worship, or even go to church, so we stop. When we do, we get even more spiritually malnourished. We must choose to invest in our spiritual comeback even when our feelings are screaming for us not to.

We never have to earn God’s love or acceptance with our actions. Anything we do to stay on course spiritually is just to grow closer to Him. To get out of our spiritually dry season, we do the things we’ve done when we were in a healthy season. Because when we do that, we’ll eventually fill back up."

And how I already knew that.

"In your dry season, what role have your feelings had? Have they dictated your faith or were you allowing your faith to govern your feelings?"

I'm just aggressive. I feel too mad at everybody and God to pay attention. I don't feel heard. I want to know that my anger is allowed to be a part of me for the time being. Even if it's temporary. And it should be. But just acknowledge that I'm angry. Please. I am. Say you see me and that I'm angry.

"When you are struggling spiritually, what is the first spiritual practice that you tend to neglect? Commit to God that you will continue to spend time with Him even when you feel He’s far away."

I don't moderate my language anymore. I insult myself and others. I act petty. I cuss a lot.

"Where can you be responsible for showing kindness as an unexpected response?"

I DON'T WANT TO BE KIND TO PEOPLE WHO WANT ME DEAD so CAN I PLEASE compromise with just ignoring them?

Is the unexpected response still being kind to myself?

"Sin’s first fingerprint upon people was shame."

"Fear is the primary motivation that rages and burns in the human heart and is behind many evils that people commit... Many Christians also live in fear that they may do or say something that will offend God. But when we are reconciled to Him, we have a restored relationship with God. Our fear is replaced with confidence in God-given acceptance. We were not created to live in fear."

#reepeep

[shakespearean-snape]

Parents, the best thing you can do for your kids when introducing them to the tv series, movies, comics/gn, books or whatever that you loved as a child is to show it to them and then step back and give them the space to form their own ideas and opinions about it.

I know how tempting it can be to show your kid something that meant so much to you and explain all the reasons why and all your perspectives on it, the characters and everything else right away but looking back the greatest thing my dad did for me was to introduce me to the things he was a fan of and then leave me to engage with it on my own terms for a while.

Afterward he would ask me questions, invite me into conversations and if my way of viewing certain elements of the world or characters was different from his own he didn't stop me and tell me why I was wrong and how I should see things. Instead he did something so much better!

He shared his own thoughts in a way that didn't devalue my own feelings or thoughts about it and it made me feel so much more included and it really went towards the strong bond I had with my dad growing up. I may have been a child and my ideas may not have been as informed as his (in fact I'm sure they weren't and he could have easily taken control of our conversations and told me exactly how I should understand some things and I would have accepted it the way children tend to because their parents seem to have all the answers and know so much more) because of it but he still treated them as valued and encouraged me because he wanted to teach me an important lesson about how to share ideas constructively and make people feel valued and heard.

Looking back I cherish those conversations with my dad exactly because they were never one-sided and I never was made to feel small or inconsequential.

Yes, there were times in my life when I needed guidance to understand "the big things" beyond fandom or fiction but looking back, by using the things he loved and including me in them in the way he did, he created a relationship of trust and respect that made me feel safe to go to him for just about anything. He didn't put pressure on me to see things his way when it came to things like his favorite fiction and I internalized that to understand on a much grander scale that my dad didn't expect me to be an extension of him, that he loved me for me and that meant everything!

I knew I could have my own identity and that identity didn't have to be an echo of his or in anyway perfect because he gave me space to be the flawed human I was and let me see him as a flawed human rather than some all-knowing "adult" figure (which was also so important because it taught me I didn't have to just accept everything that came from adults because they were adults and always knew better than me and it probably saved my life at least once when I ran into some trouble).

He was the first person I went to and told I was queer as a teenager because he had always treated me like my own person and someone he loved and respected and he didn't let me down that day either. He took me to my first ever pride event when I was seventeen and a nervous baby still so new to being part of the community and very much in need of support. He did that without me ever even having to ask as a surprise for me even though I'm sure he felt out of place there as this big built cis-het guy who had never been around so much rainbow in his life up to that point lol! (He even painted his face with me at a booth!)

And I'll never forget how that day I again felt like when I was a little kid and my dad would invite me into one of the worlds he loved and let me have the space to live in it my own way. Only this time I had gone to him and told him about this huge and new part of myself I was discovering and this was him acknowledging my trust and showing me he was with me and willing to embrace me and this community I was a part of and he'd always accept me on my own terms.

Literally just, parents you have no idea how rewarding it can be and what kind of bond you can build with your kids even through what may seem like small things but recognizing your kids are not just "little yous" and giving them room to think for themselves even when it comes to fiction you have introduced them to can make so much difference in how your child internalizes their relationship with you.

I'm in my thirties now and I still talk to my dad every day in some way (call or text or something), I still go to him for advice first when I need it because I value his counsel in a big way because he always made me feel valued and I realize it all started with his love for certain kinds of fiction and how he showed it to me and invited me into what felt like such "grown up" conversations with him where he listened to me and took me seriously and I just...

Never forget your kids are their own people with their own internal worlds and ideas. Even if their way of seeing the world is simple never forget they're still growing and you can nurture that by encouraging the light of their own ideas and "watering" the development of their minds as they blossom.

Happy Pride Month!

#happy pride 🌈 #pride month