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therapythoughtstogether · 5 months

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Focusing on my health

Yesterday I took a bigger dose of a muscle relaxer than I usually do, and boy, I had such a scary side effect...I wasn't producing pretty much any saliva, I had a swallow reflex but there was nothing to swallow and I couldn't properly breathe, it felt like the walls of my throat were sticking together. For several hours at night I had to be constantly taking sips of water because my throat hurt so much and I couldn't swallow.

If you think that a dry mouth cannot be scary...think again. It's not the first time I get a dry mouth while taking this medicine, but it has never been this bad. It was horrible being sleepy as another side effect, really wanting to sleep and not being able to because I had to constantly be taking sips of water. At least all that water helped me pee out some of the medicine. It's early morning and I still have dryness and my throat hurts, but no nearly as bad as last night.

As I said, it was quite a scary experience, especially because it felt like a couldn't breathe. I kept on thinking that I wouldn't want to die like this where I am now...as suicidal as I am. This really reinforced my will to take care of my body and health again. Definitely a reason to keep on staying sober (I think I will probably drink something for New Year but I will keep it moderate) and somehow increase my daily movement and eat healthy.

The food topic is still an issue. I had made soup and a good loaded salad for dinner and this guy asked me if I wanted French fries. Even though I love fries, I politely declined and said I was on a diet. He went ahead and made fries from scratch only for me, a big overflowing plate. I said no anyway. He insisted that I had to eat them (this really reinforces my theory of a feeding k*nk) . I ate like three fries and left the rest. He wouldn't take the plate away...so at some point I just went ahead and put the fries in the fridge. It's hard to stand the pressure, but I decided that I really won't eat things that are not healthy for me unless absolutely necessary, especially in huge quantities. Same goes for alcohol.

#therapy thought #bpd #actually bpd #taking care of my health #medicine side effects #muscle relaxer #be careful with how much you take #dry mouth #nightmare fuel #being pressured to eat big amounts of unhealthy food #being pressured to drink alcohol #but I'm really doing my best to take control of my health and my body #depression #anxiety #ed recovery #possible feeding k*nk

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wanderingelvis · 4 months

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how about elvis & ditzy/innocent reader doing something in public?

thank you!! i don't do a lot of smut so i hope y'all like this! 🧚

🧚 masterlist 🧚 word count: 1,758

pairing: 70s elvis x innocent!ditzy!reader

warnings: fingering (f receiving), praise k!nk, overstim, public smut, daddy dom dynamics

"This bit is my favourite." You whisper adorably to Elvis, trying to be as quiet as possible and contain your sweet excitement at the scene about to play.

It wasn't uncommon for Elvis to hire out the Memphian Theater for you two and the Mafia. In fact, it was the go-to activity for you all after a long day of Elvis performing, recording or rehearsing. It was however, a bit more unusual for Elvis to let you pick the movie.

The choice was Sleeping Beauty, your favourite movie and Elvis would often call you his 'lil' sleepin' beauty' as you did indeed remind him of Princess Aurora.

Elvis smirked down at you, sat upright by his side, your big round eyes fixed on the screen as you mindlessly parted those pretty pink lips and put popcorn in your mouth, over and over again, your attention not leaving the screen as Aurora met Prince Phillip in the woods for the first time.

Knowing how transfixed his sweet little thing was, Elvis effortlessly pulled you onto his lap, your attention never wavering from the screen as you let Elvis manhandle you like his own little dolly.

Slowly, Elvis started feeding you the popcorn, as you watched the movie like a good girl. Absent-mindedly, you'd wrap your lips around Elvis' thumb or his finger as he'd place it in your mouth so you could suck the sugary sweet residue off his digits.

Truth be told, Elvis hadn't followed along with the movie since the first scene, his attention solely on you. But oh, how he adored watching you be so entertained and sweet for him.

He knew the rest of the Mafia weren't over the moon with your choice of movie, it wasn't exactly the usual Western that they were used to, but Elvis didn't care, he only cared about the sweet thing on his lap. Besides, they were a few rows back, allowing the two of you to have your own space.

All of Elvis' affectionate touches and kisses went over your head initially, your mind elsewhere, enjoying the popcorn you were being fed by the big, old man who's lap you were settled on.

It wasn't until Elvis wrapped a strong arm around your tummy, holding you in place as he shuffled in his place, letting his legs part ever so, so that your legs were now completely apart, each leg dangling over each of his, leaving your core dangerously exposed under your sweet pink skirt, that you begin to feel that funny feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Gently, Elvis' coarse, large hands toyed with the hem of your skirt, his fingers lingering ever closer to your centre. Elvis kept his arm secured tightly around you, holding you in place so you couldn't squirm about as he began to trace circles into your plush thigh.

"Um..." You murmured softly, feeling that all too familiar funny feeling from Elvis' touch.

"Uh-uh doll, no talkin' durin' the movie pretty girl." Elvis reprimanded cooly, whispering in your ear from behind and making your shiver all over, causing you to try and squirm before realising that Elvis was holding you closely to him. "Eyes on the screen lil' one." Elvis instructed, quietly delighting in teasing you.

Elvis didn't wait though before he dragged his hands up your thighs, pushing up your pretty skirt and exposing your panties to the cold air of the theatre.

You blinked sweetly, trying to keep your attention on the movie that Elvis had paid a lot to have screened for you.

It was only when you felt Elvis' fingers toy at the damp fabric between your legs that you let out another stuttered gasp, your head lolling forward ever so, at the sudden sensation.

"Such a sensitive thing, hm?" Elvis whispered into your ear at your reaction at just a mere touch.

See, Elvis was right. It didn't take much for Elvis to stimulate you, he knew you inside out and he knew exactly how to work you into overdrive, and oh how we adored watching you get all antsy and disoriented.

And of course, Elvis knew what he was doing to you. He knew exactly what he wanted to happen during the movie as soon as he'd booked it. He knew that he'd wanted to pleasure you in the darkened room as soon as your eyes went wide with delight when Elvis told about the date night. Even as Elvis held your hand and led you to the seats in the theatre, Elvis knew those hands would be somewhere else entirely within a matter of minutes.

All you knew of course, was that you were excited for the movie that in your words was "just oh so pretty!". Elvis' decidedly darker intentions with you had gone right over your sweet head.

But there you both were, your lips parted and glossy as Elvis' fingers slipped under the damp fabric and began to massage your clit, pressing his thumb onto it and applying pressure as he rubbed you in circular motions.

Elvis watched with a smirk as he felt your chest rise and fall at a quicker and more erratic pace, he relished in the power he had over you.

You began to writhe in his hold before you felt his grip get tighter around your waist, his silent sign to hold still, a sign that you instantly obeyed. But there was nothing that could stop your head falling back on his shoulder as Elvis' fingers rubbed through your glistening folds, slick coating them.

Your breathing had now become erratic with breathy pants leaving your lips as the urge to mewl at the sensation grew and grew.

"Good girl, gotta keep quiet huh?" Elvis hushed, making you want to whine but you knew you couldn't draw any attention to the pair of you. "Now, pay attention to your movie baby." Elvis said, teasing you as he knew you were struggling with even keeping your eyes open, let alone concentrating on the movie on the screen but he just wanted to make you into a little mess.

And without warning, Elvis slipped a finger into your hole, your muscles tightening around it as you whimpered softly, tears pricking at your eyes from the searing pleasure and burn of it.

"That's it, taking it like such a good girl, ain'tchu?" Elvis soothed in your ear, knowing the torment he was putting you through by not letting you moan and whine like you normally would in Graceland.

You managed a feeble nod as your wet lashes fluttered, drinking in the pleasure as Elvis stretched your walls.

"Would you like another one?" Elvis asked cooly, a gloating smile taking over his face as you quickly nodded.

"Yes." You hissed, inadvertently rocking your hips ever so slightly, getting all desperate for Elvis' touch.

But Elvis wasn't one to give up control as he swatted your side at your movements, tsk-ing at you disapprovingly.

"Uh-uh Little, you just sit tight and keep them eyes on the screen and behave." Elvis reprimanded, as he stretched you further, putting in another finger, pumping them in and out of your pretty pussy, placing gentle kisses on your cheek and neck, overstimulating you more and more by the minute.

Your face was all flushed and pink, your hands balmy as you gripped onto Elvis' strong arm that was across your tummy with one of them and continued to hold the box of popcorn tightly with the other.

Elvis quickened his pace in you, watching with intensity as he watched a tear fall from your wet lashes. "Mmm baby, yer so sweet n' soaked, ain't ya?" Elvis teased lowly, watching you furrow your brow, trying so hard to be a good girl like you'd been told and keep in the moans you wanted to desperately to let out.

At this point, you're in total bliss, you're nothing more than a dripping mess in Elvis' arms, totally succumbed to his touch and desperate for more of it.

And this is exactly why Elvis is just so in love with you. You're his little dolly, to use exactly the way he wants, whenever he wants. It doesn't matter if the entire Memphis Mafia are 10 rows behind you, it doesn't matter if this is your favourite movie that you haven't seen for years, it doesn't matter that your panties are by your ankles in the middle of the Memphian, all that matters is that you belong to Elvis.

Truth be told, despite Elvis telling you multiple times not to make a peep, he didn't actually care if anyone heard the two of you, in fact, it turned him on to know that he had this sort of dominance and power over you that everyone would know that you're his, that you listen and follow every word that comes out of his mouth, that you love him just as much as he loves you.

You can feel that 'love' underneath you too, rock hard and huge, pressing into your ass, as he continues to pump his fingers into you and you bite your lip in a desperate bid not to cry out loud.

It didn't take long for Elvis to quicken his already fast pace on you, sending you into sensory overload, not being able to cope and hold it in any more.

"Let it out f'me." Elvis soothed sternly and it wouldn't be a lie to say your vision went all blurry and starry as your mind become clouded and you felt that familiar warmth spread through your body and your pussy leaking on Elvis' fingers and pant leg.

You couldn't help but let out a gasp as Elvis removed his fingers from you and Elvis didn't reprimand you this time, knowing that all you'd been was a good girl for him.

Elvis manouvered you ever so slightly so he could grab your damp panties that had fallen to your ankles and pocketed them before you had the chance to lazily grab them, he'd give them back to you when you both arrived back to Graceland.

Elvis watched you with that shit-eating grin on his face as you blinked hazily, looking adorably dumb-founded as you sat in his lap, cum dripping down your bare leg as you looked up at him with that gorgeous, innocent gaze that Elvis could simply die for.

"You're gon' miss the movie dolly." Elvis said softly, pointing his ring clad finger at the screen, as he rubbed soothing circles in your back, knowing you'd be begging to come back to the movie theatre in no time.

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lecheroustaint · 1 year

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Open to: f/nb Suggested connections: Kidnapp*r and his vict*m. Stockh*lm Syndrome.. The more f*cked the better etc. Possible k*nks: RIMM*NG, degredati*n, humiliati*n, non/dubc*on, watersp*rts, edg*ng, org*sm denial, deepthroat*ng, c*ckwarming, kn*fe play, g*n play, surprise me?

“Breaking News. Reports indicate that there has been new movement in the missing persons case from last month after the initial trail went cold.” Is there a lovelier sound in the world? Vander cannot help but find himself grinning from ear to ear as the news continues to break down the new ‘evidence’ they’ve found for their missing persons case. He was as meticulous as they come when it came to taking his victims and if there was evidence left behind, it was very much on purpose. All Vander had to do was pay some homeless man to report an anonymous tip and the cops would swarm to the creek he’d left some of her tattered, bl*od stained clothes at. Making a clean getaway was fun and all but it didn’t quite compare to being on the run. He sick, sick man and truly did feed off the fact that her loved ones would have some renewed hope that his prisoner was still alive. The sounds of the news broadcast gradually begin to get drowned up by the sloppy slurping occurring between his muscular thighs. “Say what you want about me, but look, I made you famous.” The news adds another picture of her to the feed, imploring their audience to come forward if they have any tips on the missing person. She’s a little worse for wear in comparison to the photo they’re using on TV, having broken her in for well over a month at this point. For the most part, this had been the morning routine for the two of them. Vander would sip on his cup of coffee and put on the news while not even paying attention while the girl kept his cock and balls warm with her welcoming mouth and throat. “Maybe next time we leave a pair of your own c*m stained panties for them to find.” The older male mockingly laughs in her direction while he feels the warmth of her mouth lapping at his heavy balls. “Be a good little b*tch and I’ll even think about using your c*nt today and letting you c*m.”

#indie kink rp #reposting old starter #never got to explore this before life got crazy :(#starters.

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pumpkzsafeplace · 1 year

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hello bunny !! I saw u in my feed and im extremely sorry abt the immense amount of nsfw blogs following you ! Ik other regressors that i follow have the same issue :c NSFW blogs ( especially k!nk blogs ) need to understand that it effects us since most of the agere community's demographic have experienced stuffs such as s@ / cs@ / @buse and related tramas ,, this is why i would advise to not tag agere posts with "sfw agere little" "tinie time" "tiny one" "agere little" and use lots of agere nd regressor tags n try to avoid "littlespace" "little girl/boy" related tags as nsfw communitys often use them

🍎 sorry tht this is long but i hoped this helpd nd hope u block as many meanies nd ickys as possible !!

babble corner | ☁️

⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ୨ ♱ ୧ ⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ୨ ♱ ୧ ⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅ ୨ ♱ ୧ ⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅⏝̅

hi there dove!

yes i know it’s an on going issue :<

but i have been blocking and removing people, trying to keep this area as safe as i possibly can 🧡 thank you for the kind words though.

thank you so much for the advice too! it’ll help other littles starting out & protecting them from their content getting distributed to the wrong crowd! 🧡

i hope you have a wonderful day!

- 🍰

#age regression #agere blog #agere community #safe agere #agere caregiver #age regressor #sfw agere #sfw caregiver #sfw interaction only #sfw littlespace #sfw little community #sfw little post #sfw little stuff #sfw age regression #sfw little blog #sfw smolspace #agere #babblecorner

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themusicsweetly · 4 years

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Outlander Season 5 NYC Premiere @ 92Y

Outlander Panel

The panel was after the episode was shown, so there are definite spoilery things that I won’t be sharing. But overall it was a GREAT panel! Caitriona + Sam were their effervescent selves, aided even more by some whisky (and I think by some pre-gaming as well xD).

I posted a whole bunch of videos on my Twitter feed HERE. I’ll post a select few on here too!

I also livetweeted during the event (when either Diana or R*k was talking... Sorry not at all sorry) so you can find that on my timeline as well, but here are the highlights:

- Caitriona + Sam talked a lot about being producers. Caitriona said they’ve always, in some way, had input and ideas for the season / episodes, but now their seat at the table is official. Sam says it’s a fitting role for them because they are “the consistency”. Sam says of Caitriona as a producer: “I think your influence will be felt.”

- Sam said he feels the writing is better than in the previous season, especially the overall arc of the season. Caitriona mentioned that it brought back the feel of Season 1.

- Diana needs a filter. Full stop.

- Caitriona talks about Claire having a “balance” this season, even though she and Sam both agree “it doesn’t last”. She talks about Claire’s medical passion and alluded to the various penicillin storylines!

- Sam: “In relation to Claire, she’s leading him and he’s learning a lot from her.”

- Caitriona says Sam’s work in the ep where he wears a red coat is some of his best work.

- Caitriona + Sam talking about the kid on set was HILARIOUS.

- “He’s still my toy boy.” — Caitriona Balfe about Jamie

- Tobias was busy with The Crown so there will be NO Fr*nk cameo HALLELUJAH.

- Cheer!SamCait is the SamCait everyone never knew the needed

- I will never tire of hearing how much Caitriona + Sam giggle together on set. Never. Ever.

Outlander Screening

I'll start off by saying this: overall, this premiere has left me feeling positive about the rest of the season. There were things that I didn't like and thought we could have definitely done without. But there were also bits that, for this particular episode, I expected and also expect it to have a different vibe going forward. Overall there was a lot of what I wanted to see, a lot of what I wanted to hear, and felt like the concerns of Season 4 were... definitely not fixed with this one ep, but on the way to seeing that those concerns were heard.

Below is my attempt a spoiler free review of the Season 5 premiere! But just in case...

~~~POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR OUTLANDER 5x01 BELOW~~~ ~~~SERIOUSLY, DON’T COMPLAIN I DIDN’T WARN YOU~~~

Outlander 5x01 - “The Fiery Cross”

First off, all those early reviews so far saying Sam killed it in this episode? Spot on. Anything I say about the remarkable scene he was in at the end would be very spoilery, but safe to say he really was fantastic and this definitely was his episode.

This ep started off really surprising me simply because there were a TON of small humorous moments, which I feel is a new vibe for Outlander. And not just in the first 5 minutes that has already been released, but throughout the episode. Jamie especially had some interesting bits of dry humor.

I don't think it's a spoiler to say that Brianna and R*ger get married in the premiere considering it's been in every single promo to date lol. There was a moment before the ceremony, though, where Claire and Brianna are having a moment alone that I thought was a really, really wonderful culmination of their relationship thus far. And of Claire's journey from the very start of the series to now. The barely constrained emotions from Claire really hit all of that home for me. Jamie and Brianna also have a quiet moment alone together. While this was a very touching scene, there were some parts of it that seemed forced. One line in particular I felt was unearned thus far. I think over the course of this season, we can still earn moments like that and have them feel genuine, but this one felt like it could have waited.

There was a particular line from the book that made an appearance in this episode, that was used in a VERY different context than intended. I think that it made for a nice small moment, especially considering who was in that particular shot, but it also took me by surprise. And makes me wonder about the condensing of TFC.

I think all the side characters had really great opportunities this episode to shine in their own way. Fergus x Marsali were fantastic and this just confirmed that I would LOVE to see more of them. Even Wee Germain stole some scenes without even trying! I can see why Caitriona called Robbie, the boy who plays Germain, the "MVP" of the season xD And of course, Jocasta and Murtagh... I'll leave it at that for them...

I feel like in this ep — even when she was not front-and-center — Claire was the backbone of a lot of the emotional moments. I always love seeing Caitriona's emotional range, which I think she did well here bouncing from funny to tender to serious concern. That said, I sincerely hope that we get bigger moments with and for her in the coming episodes.

Jamie x Claire. What can I say, I loved every single moment with them. I mean, obviously ALL of their scenes make an ep for me, but there was one that was SO impactful, needing zero words and just their emotions splashed across their faces. This scene got a HUGE cheer from the audience. It's always moments like these that really showcase the depth of their chemistry, when they're able to relay a lifetime of meaning in one single look.

Other Jamie x Claire things I loved: Grandda + Granny Frasers! Amorous Frasers! Fun and flirty, Frasers! Quiet, worried Frasers! Nostalgic Frasers! And YES: Seckay Times Frasers! They had some really great beats, despite this episode centering around another couple's wedding. I'd say that there were even times that Jamie x Claire were PURPOSEFULLY pushed to the forefront as if to say, "These two. These two are why we're here in the first place." There was even a moment I felt that the moment would have been expected to focus on MacBree, but we saw classic Jamie x Claire instead. While there was a moment of intermixing of the two couples' moments that did feel a bit... strange... I think for the most part I enjoyed the play off of each other.

Other moments that I really loved: - Jamie x Fergus moment. I could use more of these moments, please and thank you! And give us so many Claire x Fergus moments, too!!! I need those Milord x Milady x Fergus moments like WHOA. - Sassy mouthed children. 'Nuff said. - Soldier!JAMMF - Protective Da!Jamie - Claire in her surgery!!! - Jamie commenting on Claire in her surgery and a moment of SCIENCE talk! - THE MUSIC!! There were some great call back pieces of music. Very noticeable ones from Season 2 and Season 4 which I thought worked brilliantly. And hearing the new theme song played in surround sound like that? CHILLS. - Caitriona + Sam’s names look SO good up there alongside their “Producer” title 💜💜💜

There were also things I could have done without. One in particular that I feel most strongly about is a scene that appears in the recap and then again in more detail in a flashback. One or the other would have been far more than enough, and even then I don't think it was completely necessary. It does make me worried about upcoming storylines and graphicness, but I'm hoping our newest Producers will have helped shape that to a great extent.

Watching this episode and hearing the passionate way Caitriona + Sam talked about it and the season as a whole (as well as shading Season 4 in their own way) really makes me excited to see the rest of this season. I think we'll have really strong stories, greatly drawn characters, and two amazing actors leading the way. Cannot wait for you all to experience it as well!

#Outlander #OutlanderEdit #Outlander 5x01 #Outlander Season 5 #Jamie x Claire #SamCait #Sam Heughan #Caitriona Balfe #Jamie Fraser #Claire Farser #Outlander Spoilers #TFC Spoilers #TMS does NYC #92Y #My Edit

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carmillacarmine · 4 years

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“Defining the Shape of a Pear”

by CarmillaCarmine ( @carmillacarmine )

After the unfortunate consequences of Geralt calling The Law of Surprise, he retires to his and Jaskier’s room angry and frustrated. Jaskier has an idea how to help.

E, WIP, 27K words

Chapter 8 is up!

“Most often a dream, a wish, a desire, a yearning. Faith that there are no limits to possibility. And occasionally chance.” —Geralt of Rivia, Sword of Destiny

It’s time for Geralt to pamper Jaskier; that includes hand-feeding, carrying, and washing him.

Fill for card D: "Bath S*x" for Geraskier K*nk Bingo

Thank you for reading!

Let me know if you’d like to be added to my Geraskier taglist.

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paraclete0407 · 3 years

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Everywhere I go I see these ‘morning’ novels about ‘getting life right the first time through.’ All these Asian girls I dated year after year and they expect / demand me to be totally established and take all their abuse - I will not complain more than that - when what I’ve wanted for a long time is literally ‘to live like an immigrant in one’s own country.’ All the people I admire seemingly married young such as the current Korean president and former UN Secretary General.

I keep thinking, ‘That ultra-miraculous Hail Mary 80K-or-so YA novel that will get me out of here and also annihilate all the evil YA novels that I hate and want to expurgate from BN, the libraries etc.’ The wolf-child teenage-assassin good-to-be-gay ultra-sensualize-Asian-girls good-to-get-raped good-to-be-anorexic good-to-hate good-to-be-cynical etc.

I tried to support ‘Finding My Voice’ author Marie Ok Myung Lee on Twitter b/c I saw ‘Finding My Voice’ at BN and went, ‘OMG they took Kim Minju’s face and it’s right there.’ I lived in KR; I don’t mistake faces; YA is ripping K-pop left and right but Minju’s a real person with a life, had panic-attacks, needed exogenous O2 from trying to ‘honor’ her fans. I wrote Minju ‘greentext fics’ talking about chivalry on 4chan but instead of motivating NEET’s to get a life or at least value and honor women it had people talking about rape, and various techniques of what might be called slave-breaking or the ways in which slavers and human traffickers so damage their human chattel as to render them unlikely to escape. Jordan Peterson on Twitter is defending 4chan for its truthyness I guess (despite JBP’s having dreams of Christ and the kings of this Earth bowing down after trying to smash each other), and also pointlessly dueling / debating actual rape- and trafficking-victim Yeonmi Park, a North Korean escapee, due to the fact that JBP is ultra-rich and invested in his brand / identity and probably delaying Christianity as long as possible. Marie Lee also got embroiled in a pretty pointless debate with a smart but mercenary Tory Toffish British professor called Dave Tizzard over precisely how much incendiary was dropped on to North Korean people and they’re still battling each other over God-knows-what. My parents also recently tried to duel me to the death over my interest in supporting Liberty in North Korea; about which my Dad said, ‘If you try to enter North Korea I will cut you off.’ I’m a communist defector for being anti-communist because this is 2021 in Babylon and reality is unreality. I’m sorry if I sound like Ben Shapiro but honestly facts and those ho handle them are sometimes more important to the art / science caring than narratives, the ashes of experience, personality, etc. People such as Joe Biden also appear to oppose food-relief to North Korea on the grounds that it will prop up the regime and, say, if we feed North Koreans they might have excess energy and actually develop WMD’s and non-conventional capabilities that could threaten the US; an eventuality we prevented in the past by making sure NK starved in the 1990s and also by disarming NK’s WMD operation in Iraq in 2003.

All jokes aside NK policy strikes me as incredibly mentally ill and by that I mean spiritually depraved (I really think so), racist, genocidal / annhilationist, desiring to erase both souls / individuals and history, confused, scared. IDK if I am allowed to even say that but I have a ‘black swan’ theory of history / WW3 in which some of the formerly colonized nations, such as NK and SRV (Socialist Republic of Vietnam), basically take over the world using special forces because in a way they deserve it and also because they know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of both malevolent colonial power and pseudo-benevolent or well-meaning-but-stupid-and-cowardly-and-non-committed paternal colonialism / imperialism. It could appear outlandish but if you study certain battles in history you find there are critical factors in terms of information, will, ‘moral factor,’ technology, the Hand of God.

I ultimately believe many of us on the Earth will have new neighbors very soon and we must honor them with worthy offerings, both out of justice and out of love for their souls (a-ga-pe, caritas / Charity). During the pandemic I repeatedly read Chancellor / Dr. / Pastor John Piper’s ‘Coronavirus and Christ’ as well as Francis Chan’s ‘Forgotten God’ about the Holy Spirit and how to invite(?) His counsel, comfort, wisdom, orders.

To anyone and everyone who might be reading this someday I also recommend highly Catherine Cho’s ‘Inferno’ which is about post-partum psychosis, mental healthcare in the United States, motherhood, demons, all of which are factors currently of critical importance to a lot of us. I had written a poem for Literary Shanghai which I think was accepted but which I then rescinded about ‘Inferno’ describing my own experiences with mental healthcare and terror of Hell and the Spirit. I had also spoken of a ‘Requiem’ which is something the pre-eminent English-language professor of the Korean War once called for though the essence of what might have happened during that conflict as well as what could happen again today is quite frankly literally a ‘Dies Irae,’ not the peaceful or nice part of the traditional requiem. I had actually wanted to write Korean War novels before I realized how mercenary this is about an operation codenamed Ripper under Gen. Ridgway, the part of the war that involved bullets as much as heavy bombers or whatever, huge masses of Chinese troops, situations of semi-indiscriminate firing into masses of Asians including refugees, not to mention numerous hapless boy-soldiers from China. All this stuff appears to be clawing its way out of the ground now - the Korean government recently awarded an American colonel in his 90′s for a certain unspecified action - but it’s 3:50 AM, billions born and unborn are at stake in other places, lands of miracle and menace, such as particularly Somalia with a birthrate that resembles that of the Republic of Korea prior to contraception etc., and I have personal problems to target and numerous ownership-issues when it comes to what is truly meant for me to do in the remains of my day(s).

It also appears that a large coterie / clique / posse of persons around here are obsessed with me magically forcing them to respect, cherish, etc. me which puts me in mind of my favorite K-pop song - maybe the only one I ought to care about anymore - (Ms. / Leader) Kim Taeyeon’s ‘Make Me Love You,’ which however was also released on the same day as a super-massive democidal chemical attack in Syria.

A while back I reflected somewhat - maybe not enough - on the idea of ‘counter-imperialism,’ by which I don’t mean Jean Paul Sartre or Mao or the Black Panthers, but using power, influence, etc. to circumscribe or delimit the excess ambitions of people who think they have the right idea but have lost their right minds or don’t really understand or care. At one point I thought wishfully, ‘America is like a counter-empire,’ but IDK if I was really thinking of America b/c to be a counter-empire by my definition you need control and reason and wisdom and SME (subject matter expertise), not just wishes.

I’m not sure any liberal democracy today has all these though my optimistic side looks to the current ROK president, Twitter moonriver365, who appears to be playing an almost impossible hand with literally every other country, flesh and spirit. I bought this leader’s autobiography but my Korean cuts in and out of comprehension. IDK if I’m too open-minded or not open-minded enough; I have my affections and I guess limerences (liking) as well. I don’t despise the current ruler of Russia either for he has been trying to do good things for a nation that paid a nearly incomprehensible price in WW2 (Great Patriotic War), and which was mocked and despised for no good reason by a smug West, which perhaps sunk into unworthiness of itself, after the first Cold War.

I remember looking at a picture the Moscow GPW memorial obelisk and being awed to tears - bodies and souls ascending into Heaven or hurled into Hell. Straight up, straight down. St. George and the dragon. ‘They are attacking again; are they mortal?’

However, I came to view this memorial partly whilst researching a fanciful Millennial anti-establishment curse-the-system-and-die novel about the mass-drowning of some 300 South Korean high school students in 2014.

I also made an effort to cultivate concern for children in the Midwest but somehow became sidetracked again just thinking about world events, the fact that every race is out to get every other race, these golden-haired Caucasian girls are probably taken to be ‘Little Women’ knockoffs or Henry James throwbacks or some Reddit category that can be easily demonized by Maoist flaks, BLM, anyone looking to score points or reduce the other in order to magnify the self and/or its tribal / identity-politics interests.

Over recent months I considered a lot - maybe still not enough - the categories or qualities of purpose; purity; and also presence.

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wherefancytakesme · 6 years

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Death Glare questions: Bonus! For Gift Ship Week!

I felt bad that I never got the motivation to post Death Glare stuff during that ship week, so here I am with a belated week of ship content! Starting with an additional 25 questions that I couldn’t help wanting to do! ~Little warning, guys, the last question is *sfw.~ Sources: x x

Who shops for groceries? Peepers. Hater and the watchdogs always trail along asking for this and that, much to the annoyance of the Commander.

Who comes home drunk at 3am? I imagine Hater as a man-child who won’t/isn’t aloud to so much as touch the sauce, and Peepers being the type to only drink when he’s upset, so the latter would be more likely. Still, there’s the possibility that Awesome will peer-pressure Hater into getting wasted at a party, making him come home late and acting like an idiot, which will make Peepers furious at Awesome.

Who makes breakfast? Of course it’s Peepers. Though maybe if Wander has become friends with them, he’ll be their maid (Hater’s a picky eater).

Who remembers to feed the fish? Do they have fish? There must be a tank somewhere on the ship for ambiance... If this is the case, it’ll have to be Peepers. Hater assumes fish are the types of pets you can keep for display and that don’t need caring for, despite Peepers’ constant lectures telling him otherwise as he grumbles, walking toward the tank.

Who decorates the apartment? Hater; It’s his skullship! I’m sure Peepers helped him out though so it doesn’t look as much like a 5-year-old designed it.

Who falls asleep first? Hater. We know what a workaholic Peepers is.

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background? Peepers already does! You know that “Can I see your phone”/“Yeah one sec” meme? That’s how many Hater pics he has.

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror? Peepers. It embarrasses Hater, but he doesn’t tell him to stop either.

Who buys the other cheesy gifts? Hater. Peepers’ gifts, like himself, are the farthest thing from cheesy.

Who initiated the first kiss? Initiated? Peepers. Hater was the one who actually did it.

Who kisses the other awake in the morning? Both, depending on their mood. Hater will mostly do it if he knows Peepers has been hurt recently.

Who starts tickle fights? It’s not very likely either of them would do it unless they were really closely enjoying eachother’s company. If so, neither is more likely than the other.

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower? Hater. Peepers will want to more, but he’d be too nervous to up and ask.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch? Peepers, of course. Although, if Hater did, he might do it in a far more tsundere way, and probably only if he wanted to convey Peepers a favor.

Who was nervous and shy on the first date? Hater! Peepers was too full of rapture and near disbelief that it was actually happening!

Who kills/takes out the spiders? Peepers. He’s braver, dislikes pests more, and Hater lowkey can’t hate them when his pet is closer to a spider than anything else.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk? Hater, but only IF drunk. There’s a chance Peepers would do it sober too.

Who makes the bed in the mornings? Peepers, of course!

Who has sole possession of the T.V. remote? Hater tries to hog the remote as always, but Peepers remains the true controller.

Who stays up until 2am reading? Peepers. Hater only gets read to.

Who is the bigger cuddler? Peepers openly, Hater in secret (though he’s not very good at it).

Who does the laundry? Peepers, if the watchdogs in charge of that are indisposed.

Who mows the lawn? Peepers... while they were on Suburbon V, I guess. He’d mutter angrily about how the homeowners association is forcing the neighborhood to maintain something as stupid as a shaved patch of grass, while Hater is just littering it with decorations.

Who is better at budgeting? Of course it’s Peepers! Too bad he doesn’t often have a say...

Who instigates the s** (and who’s into the k***ier stuff)? It could be either of them, but probably most likely Hater. (Peepers, however, is a k*nk master and has a lot of them. It takes a while before he gets Hater to go past the vanilla stuff and get used to it.)

#death glare #wander over yonder #otp questions #commander peepers #lord hater #''sfw'' at the end #gift ship week #belated death glare week #Tag change for tumbly radar #Text change for tumbly radar

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medicatemedrmccoy · 7 years

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Holy Survey Batman

I was tagged by @outside-the-government (*shakes fist* haha j/k <333 )

Tagging: I haven’t kept up with who has and hasn’t been tagged. If anyone wants to, feel free and tag me :D

Keep reading tag because fuck, 85 questions, good lord.

1. Drink? Red diamond tea at work, homemade at home with a smattering of water here and there

2. Phone Call? My last phone call or who I call the most? Hang on let me dust off my recent calls list. Oh, right, no one, because even my mother knows to send me a FB message at the least if she wants to get ahold of me. Phone calls are the devil.

3. Texting? Oh lord, I have a ton. The bff, my mom, my dad, handfuls of random friends at any given time, coworkers, boss, will include tumblr messaging - same thing, @imoutofmyvulcanmind @bkwrm523 @arrowsshootyouforwards all day everyday<33 . I like to chit chat, can you tell? xD

4. Last song you listened to? I’m weird, I had It Ain’t Me - Kygo & Selena Gomez playing on my phone and had Just Like Fire - P!nk on my laptop.

5. Last time you cried? About a month or so ago after some bad news

6. Dated someone twice? Oh yeah, I should have saw all the warning signs way back when.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it? Yes, god so much

8. Been cheated on? Yes, it fucking sucks. Do everyone a favor and end the relationship first if you’re even thinking about cheating.

9. Lost someone special? Yes

10. Been depressed? Quite frequently

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up? Hahahaha oh god yes, but that’s a story for another time kiddos

Favorite Colors

12. Blue

13. Purple

14. Grey

In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends? *gestures to all of Tumblr* All of you lovely people, and quite a few local ones.

16. Fallen out of love? Oh hell to the yes.

17. Laughed until you cried? Ahhh earlier today, but that’s also another story for a different time

18. Found out someone was talking about you? Uhhm, nope? Because I will talk shit about me right along with you haha

19. Met someone who changed you? I don’t think I’d use changed, as much as I would say someone who helped me get back to some semblance of the person who I used to be

20. Found out who your friends are? Hahahahaha oh yes. Let’s just say I had to make all new ones, from the ground up.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list? Yup.

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl? The majority of them but I have a few close internet friends that I have on there.

23. Do you have any pets? I wish :(

24. Do you want to change your name? Yes

25. What did you do for your last birthday? Sat in my house quietly and waited for it to pass.

26. What time did you wake up? 5:30am almost everyday I cry. My brain thinks I like to be up at that time most days. Sometimes earlier

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? Cruising reddit, or playing a game/reading most likely

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Summer to be over. Is 121F even sustainable for life? Someone send us some cool air.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom? Sunday

What happened to 30?

31. What are you listening to right now? The AC chugging along, trying to keep up with this heat and The Sun Will Rise - Kelly Clarkson

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? I probably have in all reality, but I can’t think of any off the top of my head so I’m going to say, no.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves? The fact that I bought this house brand new barely a year ago, and its fucking falling apart already it seems xD, the cost of buying a car tag/plate, this fucking heat, work, ect

34. Most visited website? Aside from Tumblr? Probablyyyyy Reddit

35. Hair color. Darkish brown

36. Long or short hair? Short, short, super short!

37. Do you have a crush on someone? Nah, ain’t got time for that nonsense.

38. What do you like about yourself? Uhhhh, fuck, can I phone a friend?

39. Piercings? Just one in each ear. I am not very exciting, Im sorry.

40. Blood type? AB+, iirc

41. Nickname? Kat, kitten, neko, gato and basically anything else anyone comes up with

42. Relationship status? siiinngglee but I’m taking applications

43. Zodiac? Virgo/Libra cusp

44: Pronouns: She/Her.

45. Favorite TV Show: Oh geez. Maybe Game of Thrones? Walking dead? Supernatural(although not so much as of late) Its really hard to choose :(

46. Tattoos? Nope, although I do want one

47. Right or left handed? Right.

48. Surgery? Oh lord, uh I fell through a window when I was like 4, so that was pretty extensive surgery on my hand and foot, still have the scars, drunk driving accident when I was around 15(wreckage inspiration), lasik on my eyes, which has failed already(hello glasses my old frienddd), TFCC tear on my wrist(fucking sucked) and I think thats it?

49. Piercing? See question 39…?

50. Sports? I used to play soccer up until high school, not much anymore unless you consider the occasional jog a sport? I like to go kayaking as much as possible, also not sure thats a sport?

51. Vacation? Vacations? What are those? I haven’t had a proper vacation since I went to Cancun in like 2002.

52. Pair of trainers? I am a woman who loves shoes, please don’t make me choose. I do dig my Roos and Nikes though

53. Eating? shelled peanuts

54. Drinking? Water and tea.

55. I’m about to? Get a hand cramp typing out all these answers

56. Waiting for? For my metaphorical ship to come in *grows beard*

57. Want? Someone to come and knock on my door and either hand me a big check, or say “Hi, I’d like to take care of you and pay your bills for the rest of your life.”

58. Get married? Hell no, never again. See #8

59. Career? Im a jack of all trades, master of none at the office. My title encompasses a lot and don’t have a specific title, but mostly Accounting.

60. Hugs or kisses? Hugs

70. Turned someone down? Yup, its becoming old hat at this point

71. Sex on the first date? No, hello demisexuality

72. Broken someones heart? Yes, it was pretty terrible. I still feel awful about it

73. Had your heart broken? That would require you to have a heart in the first place, right?

74. Been arrested? Not officially, but since my uncle is a sheriff, some of the guys think its hilarious to pull me over in town.

75. Cried when someone died? Yes.

76.. Fallen for a friend? Yeap

do you believe in…

77. Yourself? Hahahaha nah, I’m just wingin it

78. Miracles? Uhhhmmm, no, not really, just circumstances.

79. Love at first sight? Nah

80. Santa Claus? Nah, never did, my dad is a scrooge and never put up the charade

81. Kiss on the first date? Eh, it depends, usually its just awkward, or that could still be my demisexuality talking

82. Angels? Only the angels among us. In the medical field, saving lives, the people feeding the hungry, clothing the homeless. The people here trying to truly do good.

83. Current best friends name? I’ll go with two. Local - Tamara and here @imoutofmyvulcanmind aka loveable little nerd aka Luci

84. Eye color? Hazel. Brown inner ring with green on the outside

85. Favorite movie? Definitely Wonder Woman now. Sorry Star Trek :(

#about me meme #now im tired

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therapythoughtstogether · 5 months

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Being pressured to get married (but I won't) and issues with food

TW rape, TW possible feeding k*nk

Things are getting SO weird. This guy I'm staying with is now very seriously pressuring me to marry him and "give him children". God save me from that...I secretly started to take birth control as my "no" doesn't mean anything and I know he wants to make me pregnant as a way to keep me and use me.

I'm obviously not marrying him, but it's so mentally draining...it's so hard...He is so insensitive and authoritarian, and kind of scary in those moments. I think he keeps on pushing me in the hopes of breaking me mentally so I will agree, knowing that I still don't have a job or a safe place to go.

I cry a lot...I get more and more annoyed by him every day. I cannot stand his company or touch. He also keeps offering me alcohol several times a day when I clearly said I don't want to drink. I guess I'm easier to be taken advantage of if I'm drunk.

I started to eat less because I'm so depressed and I simply don't like the food. I ask him to give me small portions but he insists on overfeeding me and watch me eat. He is obsessed with my curves so I'm starting to think that this is a weird k*nk. There's no other explanation why he insists on watching me eat, sometimes spoon-feeds me and doesn't allow me to eat normal size portions and healthier foods.

I feel I'm rotting inside and outside...The pain in my chest never stops, and some parts of my body hurt because of the things I have to stand. I do feel hopeless and helpless.

I must keep going...I refuse to let this be my life forever. I can't give up. If I can get out of this hell, who knows how long it will take me to process all this trauma. I'm in constant survival mode now...But one thing at a time. I must get out of here first.

#therapy thoughts #sorry for this trauma dumping #tw rape #tw feeding k*nk #tw f*ederism #tw abuse #bpd #actually bpd #depression #anxiety #chronically suicidal #trying to make it to the next day #trauma

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foodreceipe · 7 years

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The Truth About Fat In Your Diet

Here’s what’s healthy and what’s not. By Anna Almendrala

Eating fat makes you fat, right? If this is what you think, you’re wrong. But it’s not your fault — it’s probably what you were led to believe.

Actually, unsaturated fats, like those found in plant-based oils, nuts and fatty fish, are good for you because they help protect you from heart disease, help you maintain a healthy weight and even have some superficial benefits for your skin and hair.

But there’s a lot of confusion out there about the role dietary fat plays in our lives, and it’s no wonder we’re mixed up about it.

The History

Starting around 1980, top nutrition experts and the federal government advised all Americans to dramatically cut back on dietary fat to avoid heart disease and weight gain.

Back in the day, notes NPR, these experts wanted us to replace dietary fats — from olive oil to butter to nuts — with healthy carbohydrates, like whole grains, vegetables and fruits. This was based on well-meaning but misleading research that showed a correlation between diets high in fat and people with high cholesterol levels in their blood.

But of course, people didn’t really replace big, juicy steaks with more vegetables. Instead, food companies co-opted this “low fat” message, creating high-sugar, low-nutrient snacks and foods that technically fit the low-fat bill but were anything but healthy. Anyone who recalls chowing down on Snackwell’s fat-free Devil’s Food Cookie Cakes will remember this era.

The Message Today

Now, more than three decades later, Americans are heavier and have more heart disease than ever before, and researchers suspect that when we replaced that fat in our diets with sugar and refined starch, it led to increased obesity and metabolic diseases like Type 2 diabetes. Both of these conditions can increase the risk for cardiovascular disease.

“Actually, farmers have known for thousands of years that you can make animals fat by feeding them grains, as long as you don’t let them run around too much, and it turns out that applies to humans,” said Harvard University food researcher Walter Willett in a past interview with PBS. “We can very easily get fat from eating too many carbohydrates, and the public was really directed to only focus on fat calories, when we really have to keep an eye on calories no matter where they’re coming from.”

Today, health experts and the federal government are trying to recalibrate the needle on dietary fat. With more complete, rigorously-conducted research about how unsaturated fats (like mono- and polyunsaturated fats) can actually protect people from heart disease, the nation’s top nutritionists want to make sure that blanket, low-fat diet advice for the general audience is a thing of the past.

How Fats Work

One thing we do know now: Dietary fat isn’t evil, it’s simply a highly-concentrated source of calories that helps your body absorb essential vitamins like A, D, E and K. Fat helps keep your hair strong and glossy and your skin clear and youthful-looking. And contrary to what we’ve thought in the past, moderate amounts of healthy dietary fat can actually improve cardiovascular health, not harm it. Finally, for people who are trying to lose weight, foods with these fats can also help keep them satisfied for longer, which means they can eat less food to feel full.

Polyunsaturated fats, which are found in fatty fish like salmon and trout, as well as sunflower oil, walnuts and sunflower seeds, help reduce levels of LDL cholesterol in the body, which can help lower the risk of heart disease and stroke. Nutritionists refer to polyunsaturated fats (omega-6 and omega-3 fatty acids) as essential fatty acids, because your body needs them to function and can’t produce them on its own. Monounsaturated fat, which is found in olive oil, avocados, peanut butter, nuts and seeds, can also have a similar effect on your body.

In light of all this new research about the role healthy fats play in our bodies, the 2015 Dietary Guidelines, which are the U.S. government’s food and nutrition recommendations through 2020, actually dispensed with a traditional upper limit on the amount of fat a person should eat every day. Instead of eating a low-fat diet, Americans should eat a low saturated fat diet, explained Harvard’s Frank Hu, who helped create the guidelines.

A good serving size of healthy oils is around five teaspoons or 27 grams per day for someone eating a 2,000 calorie diet, according to the dietary guidelines.

However, there are two kinds of fat that Americans should keep at bay. Saturated fat, which is mostly found in meat and dairy products, should make up no more than 10 percent of a person’s diet because of its “strong relationship” with cardiovascular disease risk, notes the guidelines. Replacing one percent of calories from saturated fat with polyunsaturated fat reduces the risk of coronary heart disease by two to three percent, said the researchers who helped create the guidelines.

And there is no generally safe level of trans fat, which found mostly in pre-packaged, frozen and canned baked goods, because of its association with cardiovascular disease risk. That’s why the Food and Drug Administration is phasing out the ingredient in the U.S. food supply.

Whether you’re trying to lose weight or help maintain a healthy weight, don’t fear the fat. Use plant-based oils to make your foods more delicious, toss back a handful of nuts if you need a snack, and load up on rich, fatty foods like avocado and fish to give your body the nutrition it needs. To get some ideas about some healthy sources of dietary fat, check out the list below. Are you missing out on healthy fats in your diet?

Avocado

Half of an avocado

contains nearly 15 grams of fat total, and almost 10 of those are monounsaturated (2 grams are polyunsaturated). Try it in place of mayo on your next sandwich.

Almonds (And Other Nuts)

Just about any nut can make for a healthy fat-filled snack, but almonds happen to be the lowest in calories . One ounce — about 23 whole almonds — contains just over 14 grams of fat, including nearly 9 grams monounsaturated and about 3.5 polyunsaturated.

Salmon (And Other Fatty Fish)

Salmon may be one of the most well-known fatty fish, but tuna, mackerel and sardines also offer a heart-healthy dose of fats. If you’re going to stick with the familiar, look for wild-caught salmon . A three-ounce serving of chinook ( often the most expensive option , according to Eating Well), contains nearly 9 grams of fat, including nearly 4 grams monounsaturated and about 2.5 polyunsaturated. The milder coho salmon and the oilier sockeye both contain less, at around 5 total grams of fat, with nearly 2 grams each of mono- and polyunsaturated fat.

Olives (And Olive Oil)

Mixing 10 large olives into your next salad will add about 5 grams of fat, 3.5 of which are monounsaturated and .4 of which are polyunsaturated. Not an olive fan? The oil is an even more concentrated source of healthy fats — just don’t be too heavy-handed on your pour: A single tablespoon contains over 13 grams of fat, nearly 10 of which are monounsaturated and about 1.5 are polyunsaturated.

Flax (And Other Seeds)

One tablespoon of whole flaxseed — which you can toss into salads, soups, smoothies, yogurt and more — contains just over 4 grams of fat, including nearly 1 gram monounsaturated and almost 3 grams polyunsaturated.

Flax seeds also contain anywhere from 75 to 800 times more lignans, a component of plants that act as antioxidants, than other plant foods,

WebMD reported

A tablespoon of sesame seeds contains about 1.5 grams of monounsaturated fat and 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat. And an ounce of pumpkin seeds pack about 2 grams of monounsaturated fat and 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat.

Eggs One large, whole egg has almost 5 grams of fat , including roughly 2 grams monounsaturated and about 1 polyunsaturated.

Do you want to be more mindful about eating healthy foods that’ll keep your mind and body at their best?

Sign up for our newsletter and join our Eat Well, Feel Great challenge to learn how to fuel your body in the healthiest way possible. We’ll deliver tips, challenges and advice to your inbox every day.

http://link.huffingtonpost.com/join/nk/lifestylechallenge0316?ncid=newsltushpmg00000003

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-truth-about-dietary-fat_us_56d4ac53e4b0bf0dab33083f

#Diet #healthy #food

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lecheroustaint · 2 years

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Open to: f Suggested connections: Kidnapp*r and his vict*m. Stockh*lm Syndrome.. The more f*cked the better etc. Possible k*nks: RIMM*NG, degredati*n, humiliati*n, non/dubc*on, watersp*rts, edg*ng, org*sm denial, deepthroat*ng, c*ckwarming, kn*fe play, g*n play, surprise me?

#indie kink rp #indie smut rp #starters.

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