#really really sure i have adhd but i am literally not able to do anything about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

feyspeaker · 5 months

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Hiii! Gosh, I love your work SO MUCH. You recently mentioned in an answer to someone that you have ADHD and because of that, you have lots of rituals for your work in order to stay focused. May I ask what your routine is? I have struggled for years and years as a working artist to control or harness my adhd, and I would love to hear what works for you!! Thank you so much for even reading this :)))

Hi there!! Thank you so much. ♥

I'm probably a terrible person to give advice, because I absolutely do NOT have a handle on my ADHD. I often feel like I'm drowning in it, as I'm sure a lot of other people in the same situation can commiserate with. A lot of my issues are exacerbated by my agoraphobia and anxiety, but I won't go too into that stuff because I am not really in a place to talk about that aspect of my life so much. I do think I've become more aware of it as I have gotten older and am definitely better at managing it than I was when I was younger. Also to start off, I'm not medicated for it.

First and foremost, I tend to need to overstimulate myself in order to get down to painting, though this is only so effective. I play really loud, very noisy music when I work. Angelspit, Combichrist, The Gazette, etc. Heavy electronic, industrial, nu metal kind of stuff. It helps drown out my thoughts so I can focus on painting. I need to Not Think to be able to paint. I have to already know I'm in flow state on something and really into it if I'm going to be playing mellower stuff.

I also like to play youtube videos or shows on things I'm currently fixated on. Like I'll watch nothing but videos on Welsh folklore or horse training or whatever the hell. I really struggle with listening to audiobooks or podcasts because they aren't engaging enough.

I have parental controls on my computer set up so that I can block out any distracting websites, however this is really not super helpful because I have to keep social media open at all times as it's part of my job to manage those things. It does help some though. It might work for you! They make browser extensions for it.

I try to keep momentum on pieces. I can't let a piece sit for more than a few days, or I know it's time to bin it and give up. I either hyperfixate on a painting until it's done, or it's not good enough and it's going to be like an anchor dragging my momentum down. The second I feel momentum waning I know I need to make a change. I've made huge changes to how I take commissions in order to help me with this, as this is my biggest struggle. I hate sending updates on things, waiting for emails, painting things I'm not super invested in, etc. I recognize that I am incredibly blessed/lucky to be in a position to be a little pickier about the work I take on and how I take it. But I do firmly believe in general that a commission based artist should try to make sure they are doing work they enjoy and not just slogging away on something that they don't vibe with at all. That's good advice for anyone, but I do think that us folk with ADHD tend to feel burnout and artblock harder. I know when I have artblock literally NOTHING can get me to paint, so that's why momentum is so important.

I also try to recognize things that I know are going to trigger me into avoiding what I need to do for the day, or causing me to spiral. For example, if I know I need to make a phone call I try to do that first if at all possible, otherwise I am going to end up not getting anything done for the next 6 hours. If I know I'm going to have to have to leave the house for an appointment or something scheduled, I typically just let that day be a wash and don't plan any work for it. I end up physically ill when I have something I have to go out and do (like going to some appointment or even something small like going to pick something up off of FB marketplace) so I try to just Avoid That, but if I can't I will just clear my schedule for the day.

I try to maximize my Good Days by minimizing things that trigger my procrastination/lack of motivation/distractions. But when I have bad days I just try not to beat myself up about it. (Still do, but I'm trying to get better.)

The worst thing is letting a whole day be wasted sitting there, knowing the time is passing. Knowing that there is something you should be doing, but you're not doing it. Knowing that you don't want to be doing that thing, and that you'd rather be playing a game or painting something else. But not doing that either. And before you know it, the sun is setting and you've done no work AND had no fun and it's time for bed. Ugh, I've had so many days like that.

It's important to recognize when that is happening, and to just say "fuck it" and go do the fun thing you want to do instead of toiling for hours in indecision. That's probably bad advice for people who have poor responsibility skills (like actually making sure to get work done on the good days) but I am saying this in good faith. Sometimes when that happens I'll let myself go bake a bunch of bread or obsessively clean a cabinet out so I still feel like I did something that day. Next day, I try to do better.

I don't know if this is helpful at all- I know people with ADHD have a lot of different experiences/tendencies, but this is what helps me. I slipped a lot after my dad's cancer diagnosis several years ago and felt myself really just completely letting go into the ADHD time void because my thoughts and worries were so loud I couldn't drown them out with all the screamo in the world. I started fixating on BG3 really hard near the end, and it's absolutely responsible for me being Okay artistically and emotionally speaking after his passing last month. I think difficult situations can make our symptoms worse, and to an extent we have to ride the wave and be kind to ourselves.

That's perhaps my closing thought- be patient and kind to yourself. Our brains don't really work right but it can be a blessing in that I think the flow state we are capable of is really something otherwordly. So try to identify what helps trigger that in you and foster it.

#ask

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mrsriddles-blog · 2 months

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I actually find it quite rude that you do this weekly rec thing ? It's disrespectful to other writers who also write great stuff ..... Maybe you should just stop it or if you love it so much maybe in a month or something? When did you start this stuff anyway ? As a writer I feel like you should be more considerate towards other writers feelings . And no this is not out of jealousy , my work has been on your list and that's how I found out about this . In no way am i putting you down , I just wanted to get this out in a way that didn't seem rude

I started the weekly read thing to mainly keep track of everything I read during the week. It’s literally everything I’ve read so far this year. I love it and I do think it gives authors the spotlight during the week. I try to get new authors included every week if possible, but I genuinely just go through a read what I have in my likes posts and keep track of it.

I never meant to offend anyone and make anyone think it’s rude. It wasn’t my intention. I did consider once a month, but I prefer the weekly reads simply because I do read a lot on Tumblr and it’s hard enough to keep track of it all in my notes app where I compile the list.

I started at the beginning of the year as a new way to track what I was reading, but as an author myself I wanted to be able to recommend other works from other authors. It can be challenging to find these amazing works, especially when tags are misused constantly. So, as a reader it’s nice to be able to help other readers/authors who may struggle with finding new fics for their favorite characters.

If there are truly more than just you out there who don’t like that I do this and whatnot, feel free to reach out. If you don’t want to be on the list, you can tell me and I’ll make a list of those who want no part of the list. But, I’m sorry you find it disrespectful and rude. I never intended for that. I had done it in the beginning to help me keep track of what I was reading as I love to read a lot on here (I have OCD and really bad ADHD, so it’s a nice little thing I’ve done to keep me organized, but to help me remember) , Ao3, and Wattpad. It’s easy for me to keep track of all that I read—and there are some fics I find myself going back to because I loved them so much—so this was not to gain any sort of limelight on myself for doing or to shade other authors or whatnot. If anything, I mean the best and I know I try to include some writers who have just started on the Tumblr platform as it can be hard to find your audience.

Again, I never meant to offend anyone or to make it seem as if I were being rude. If anyone truly feels that way, feel free to message me or comment below. I won’t be offended! But, if there’s truly a lot of people out there who fill this way, maybe I will stop doing the posts and find another way to keep track of the reads. Again, I didn’t mean to offend anyone. Or I can continue, but if you’ve been on the list and don’t want to be on it, message me. I’ll be sure not to put you on the list in the future if it makes you uncomfortable or if you simply don’t like it.

I’m sorry to anyone who has been on the list and if I’ve offended you. I hadn’t seen anything negative, so I assumed that everyone was enjoying it as much as I.

#masterlist #week reads #weekly reading #slytherin boys #sturniolo triplets #coriolanus snow

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elsfairy · 1 year

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COOKING with Sevika;

I'd love to cook with her, what the fuck?

• At any given point, she will try distracting you. Either that being playing with your hair when you're mixing the ingredients for your cookies. Or taking, and hiding the things you needed.

• Will laugh watching you struggle to find whatever she tries to hide on the top shelf. Not your fault you're short as shit.

• Eventually she will help you.

• Can't help but find it amusing and adorable when you get excited about those stupid cookie cutters she bought you. (you were eyeing them up for weeks)

• Sevika loved cooking with you, but ask that woman to crack an egg she will walk away. She didn't like the feeling of it. The texture made her skin crawl. For you though? she would do it, somehow.

• Has a serious habit of hitting you on the ass with that stupid spatula. You weren't sure why, but she loved doing it. You didn't mind though.

• Secretly enjoys making cupcakes with you more than cookies, but just seeing how happy you are, makes her happy. So she is down to make anything with you. Again, but no touching eggs.

• Has a HUGE habit of rubbing the cookie/cake batter over your face. Literally anywhere she can find space, she is right there with it, waiting. She was indeed a brat when it involved cooking with you.

• "Hey, you look pretty hot with that stuff on your face sweetheart"

• Sometimes it didn't even have to be baking. Sevika was actually a really good cook, so some nights you would just be in the silent kitchen in each others presence, cooking your dinner.

• You can guarantee whatever plays on the radio, Sevika will hum along while adding those stupid (yet cute) sparkles on her cookies. She loved it secretly.

• Cooking and baking always made you miss your family, so she would be right there wrapping her arms around you, reassuring you that it's okay.

• The days you didn't feel like cooking because you weren't feeling okay, Sevika would do everything in her power to at least get you into the kitchen, just to be there with her. She loved when you were around. You always agreed because well, you loved her and loved seeing her happy.

• She was always the one to accidently burn herself when using the stove or oven. Literally every single time.

• "Most scariest woman in Zaun, and you can't handle this?" You always teased her with no doubt.

• She is the type to admire you from afar when you're zoned out in your own world.

• Holds you, even after you're both done with making food.

• Steals more cookies from the tray for later when you're not looking. You aren't that blind though. You know her antics, in & out.

• Tells you over and over that you always make the best food/treats, even though you tell Sevika that she was in fact the better cook between the two of you guys.

• The rest of the night is just spent cuddled up together, eating your cookies and listening to the rain against the window.

Note; I'll be honest. Im slowly losing my shit. As much as i would love to be able to, i cannot fathom on how to write a full 3/4k word fucking Sevika x Reader imagine. For the ever loving Christ, i cannot get into doing one. It starts off fine, then my ADHD will come out, and i will end up writing a bunch of random words and end up stressing myself out. Head canons for me, are easier because this way i can somehow make it make sense? i think, idk. The small imagines are fine but when it comes to actually writing one with a full plot, adding more characters, set fucking scenes? i panic because i am very insecure with my writing, how it looks and sounds. I also fucking suck at writing smut. So there is that :/ Last night i deleted like 5 drafts because it just downright sucked ass. I've been staring at my cooking with Sevika head canon for 3 hours (This one) and im just loosing my fucking mind, because i feel like it's just not good enough but oh well, enjoy it. Sorry for the rant.

#sevika x you #arcane sevika #sevika #sevika x reader #sevika headcanon #sevika imagine

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sawyer-is-eepy · 10 days

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MaDD and plurality

okay so we're MaDD, right?? and we're also plural??

NOBODY talks about how freaking hard that makes communicating omg.

constantly i'll be trying to talk to someone and then i drift off and suddenly they are completely drowned out OR they're ALSO daydreaming!! it's so frustrating, because it means that to even semi-effectively communicate, i have to talk out loud. if i have to communicate something important and we're in a public place i just have to focus REALLY hard on internal communication and it sometimes STILL doesnt work.

on top of that, we have ADHD so it's even harder, and talking out loud still doesn't work that well because without another person physically here to snap me back to reality whenever i'm daydreaming, if i start daydreaming, i'm just stuck until i realize, which can be anywhere from within a minute to literally 20+ minutes. usually they're able to get my attention by that time, but it's hard because our communication is not easy for anyone but the host(me, who is ALWAYS fronting) to initiate, so unless i actively open myself to communicate with them, it's hard for them to get my attention. sometimes my daydreams even last hours, but that usually doesn't happen when i'm not actively deciding to daydream. so yeah, it's really difficult because i've already got issues focusing, and adding basically irresistable urges to daydream at random that get triggered way too easily on top of that, inner communication is SO HARD.

anyways, this makes making a tulpa really fucking difficult because forcing is really hard.

but here are my tips, for other MaDD, especially anyone making a headmate/alter/tulpa/parogen/whatever themself -

incorporate your daydreaming into the communicating/forcing. like daydream you and that alter hanging out and then communicate via that. this does not ensure that you won't start daydreaming about anything else, but it lessens the chances. if you try to force yourself to not daydream at ALL the urges are gonna be much harder to ignore, at least for me. if you're ALREADY daydreaming, and it gets interesting enough, minor distractions are gonna catch your attention less and less because you WANNA focus on this one daydream. it becomes much more enjoyable.

this kind of like the last one, but this is more specific to tulpa/parogen forcing. don't really view it as a chore, which i've accidentally been doing more and more. not a chore i dislike, but i've been viewing it like something i have to do every single day for x amount of time other wise it wont work and it'll fail horribly and everything will be ruined, when it shouldn't need to be that. it shouldn't be on a to-do list, unless that really works for you(which if that's the case that's freaking awesome and you should probably ignore this tip). idk about everyone else, but it's much easier for me to daydream if i'm treating something like something i need to do because it's so much more tempting to just go live somewhere else for a minute while i do things i need to do. i often daydream doing chores because it's not interesting enough to keep me grounded. so, to make sure it gets done, i drift off while i'm doing it, so i am doing it in the real world but to me i'm in another world or in one of my stories. but for forcing, to be able to do it, you HAVE to be constantly aware and present. if you view it like you're just having a fun little conversation with them, it becomes like whenever you're bored or lonely just like you would reach out to a friend, but instead you're getting some talking to your head friend in. even if it's not traditional forcing, it works and develops them more, even if it's just a bit here and there. idk about everyone else, but i think partially because of my ADHD and partially because of my MaDD, whenever i have a chore i need to do i kind of put it off if i'm already doing something. i don't really *want* to put it off, but i just can't get my body to move. especially when I'm daydreaming. because, why would i get up and do the boring thing when i can watch my story in my head ? it's so much easier to sit and do nothing. but as we all know, that ADHD paralysis is so so SO stress inducing, the best option is to always get up and try to force yourself to. idk if non-ADHD MaDD will relate at all though, because that paralysis is mostly exclusive to those with ADHD afaik, but for me, my MaDD makes it much worse. anyways, that probably didn't make much sense sorry

write down what everyone is saying. this makes it much easier to keep track of what they are saying and stay present, but it also documents the conversation as well. so even if you weren't that present during the conversation, or you're worried you'll forget something important, you'll have a record to read back on later if you need! and also with created alters/headmates, keeping track of their progress is always incredibly important!!

don't listen to music! this one might be a bit of a given but unless it's like instrumental music that you genuinely won't pay that much attention to but still helps you focus, DON'T listen to it. songs are an easy gateway into a daydream. ESPECIALLY songs with lyrics, even ones that you can't understand because they're in another language, which by the way for literally any other thing you need to focus on, that's a great tip, listening to music in other languages, because you can still focus with interesting music in the background but the lyrics arent grabbing you at all. anyways back to plural-related MaDD tips, yeah, don't listen to music. even if that song usually doesn't catch your attention. for me, if i'm talking, internally or externally, and there's music with lyrics playing, i reallyyy cannot focus on what i'm(or others, again, internally or externally) are saying. idk, might just be some sort of auditory processing issue related to my ADHD but i cannot focus on it, and because it's hard, i just need to pick one, and sometimes my brain picks the song and i just. stop talking. and start daydreaming.

idk what to do if you're not fronting and trying to communicate with whoever is fronting, because i've not switched(like i mentioned before, the host, who is me, has never not been the one fronting), but if anyone has any other tips either related to that or the ones i already have here, please feel free to let me know because i'd love to hear them and i'm sure others do too!! anyways, i hope i helped, idk this might be too specific to me.

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skyloftian-nutcase · 3 months

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So any advice to stay focused on basic tasks? I have currently untreated ADHD and as a result, have a lot of trouble focusing and remembering things. Not only is this really a pain for school (I forget any work I have to do or sometimes where my class is) but sometimes I will literally forget to eat or drink water (sometimes forgetting water for up to a day and a half and food for up to 3 days). I am looking to try medication to see if it helps soon but I keep forgetting to start the whole process so Anya device for how to remember stuff and stay focused?

I don't know how helpful I'll be, but I've been told I have ADHD so here's the ways I've managed over the years when I was in school:

I too forget due dates all the time, so I write them down. In a planner, on my phone, in a different planner, on a calendar, highlight them on the syllabus which is then placed in a pocket for the folder dedicated for that subject specifically. I used to carry a teacher's planner in my backpack, and since I took that backpack everywhere I went, I always had it with me. Put reminders on your phone. When you first get the syllabus, write down the important dates and put reminders on your phone immediately.

I used to keep boxes of protein bars and ramen and instant mac cups on a shelf in visible sight. Since I lived in a dorm that was essentially a closet, I could always see the food as a reminder. I would keep my water bottle on my desk, which was the only piece of furniture in the place where I could sit and do anything since all the furniture I had was a shelf, desk, bed, and dresser in one room. If you live in a bigger space, put snacks everywhere you usually hang out. My mom has a trick where she puts reading glasses in every single place of the house where she might be, so I recommend doing that with food and maybe even cups to remind you to drink. Also, you can set alarms on your phone! Like a daily reminder: Eat and hydrate!

As for the actual act of hunkering down and studying and being able to focus, I don't have a foolproof way, but what worked for me was this: I set up environments that were dynamic enough to keep me hyperfocused. What I mean by that is I get antsy sitting still for too long, so I would put on a playlist or a video game and just use the location ambience to help me feel like I was somewhere else. Whenever I would start getting antsy, I would move locations in the game or go to the next ambience video. And then boom! You've moved. Different setting, new environment, let's settle back in and study again. I also had multiple, multiple documents and tricks to motivate myself. When I was in grade school, it was Harry Potter. I would assigned Hogwarts houses to subjects and create a competition, and whichever subject I did the most work in won. I can go into more detail if you want, I'm about to do something similar tonight to get some work around the house and studying done. We can study together tonight if you want! :)

Lovelies who have ADHD, care to pitch in? Anon, make sure to read any reblogs/comments!

#you ask skye answers #lovely anon

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himbeereule · 3 months

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(I'd call this a hot take if it weren't so lukewarm that it crosses the treshold into slightly cold)

"nowadays, everyone is suddenly getting diagnosed with autism or adhd or whatever"

no, people just used to not get diagnosed no matter how obvious it was

like, throughout my whole childhood people - including professionals - were like "huh, she's seriously strange, wonder what that's about", but nobody ever had the brilliant idea to just check

I mean, there was the assumption that I probably have adhd, but I was never tested nor did they do anything to help (except scolding me for not really participating in class, forgetting to bring things (sometimes my whole schoolbag) every single day, etc; I've never done homework in my entire life)

they did send me to speech therapy because I was really quiet unless talking about some special interest, then I wouldn't shut up until told to (my dearest adults always made sure to let me know how much they suffered from me talking to them <3); it was a semi-success - the therapist found that she couldn't do any exercises with me, but that I was happy and able to hold a normal conversation about the goals and methods of speech therapy (she ended up explaining her study books to me, and we just chatted about those for the whole therapy)

they also sent me to occupational therapy, but I spent the whole time rotating (literally just spinning in circles every session), so that didn't really help with anything either

so I had to suffer through many years of school (I skipped a grade, but changed schools a lot (I attended almost all school types in Germany lol), so I've been in school way longer than normal) always listening to teachers saying I had "the potential to always get perfect grades if she just... uuuh..." without ever managing to think of an actual solution, or even just suggesting we could maybe look for what's wrong with me

literally all my various schools ever did in that regard was sending me to take IQ tests, which led to one of the stupidest sentences I've ever heard (keep in mind it was an actual psychologist specialized in schoolchildren and responsible for the entire school who said this): "she's just so intelligent, we normal people will never understand her" - which was then used as justification to do absolutely nothing despite me having glaring problems in every single sector of (school) life

this whole thing also seriously set me back later - when I first learned about autism, I was like "no, everyone always told me how extremely weird I am, this would be way too easy of an explanation"; in the end, it took me three whole years of people learning about autism going "hey, that sounds like you!" (one school I was at specialized in social professions, so we learned about things like that as part of the curriculum), and people who lived with autists and autists themselves constantly assuming I was autistic and being really bewildered when I told them I wasn't, before I decided to go to diagnosis (surprise: the peer-reviewed status was officially confirmed)

but at that point, it didn't really help anymore - yes, getting closure was kinda nice, but when you're an adult, the little help that is available is only available if you take care of getting it yourself - which I absolutely can't, that's part of the problem in the first place.

so, in conclusion, I spent my entire life getting told how much potential I have by the very people who made sure to do nothing to actually help me achieve it (or just, you know, have a somewhat stable average performance, like everyone else)

tl;dr: I'm a massive disappointment to myself and everyone else, but at least I know it's not my fault. yay.

#aaaaaaaaaa #vent #autism #actually autistic #adhd #actually adhd #trauma posting

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rin-and-jade · 4 months

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Question that's not explicitly plurality related but I think that yall would probably know the most about it, if that's ok?

How can you tell when a thought is yours? Like I'll have thoughts that I definitely know I'm thinking, but there's also a song running in the background (which I think is normal to not be able to stop, don't know if it's normal to purposefully try to think over it and have it still go just sound like it's underneath your thoughts), and other background noise too. By "background noise" I mean random trains of thought that I can't fully hear unless I focus on them. And then sometimes my brain will just start talking, narrating my life or telling a story or making up a scenerio or something. Sometimes it's full on conversations. It's not something that I'm trying to do, and if I'm like "hey brain, can you shut up ^.^" it'll be like "no" and resume (sometimes it just doesn't stop and sometimes it will literally say no, the latter not often though)

I'll also have conversations with myself, both outloud/internal and internal/internal, but only one of them will really feel like conscious thought so idk what's up there

I can't tell if my brain is just running without my input or if something else might be up here, but I figured that you guys most likely have more experience than a lot of people (singlets) with thoughts-that-don't-belong-to-you sooo.... yeah

Yep, im ok with it; Well in general means, there still can be thoughts that seems to be lingering around that doesn't necessarily correlate to being plural! I definitely know what you're talking about, so in this case i thought of a few things such as:

Intrusive thoughts This is when you unexpectedly think of something, which seem to pop up here and there that didn't actively come from you. How often someone experiences, and what kinds of thoughts have no limits. This one will make sense when you mean thinking things that doesn't relate to your train of thought or personality at all.

Neurodivergency Most apparent/often for people with ADHD, they often have their minds being loud with many background thoughts, often repeating a part of a song and or words. I am not entirely sure if this is for stimulation (keeping yourself from being bored or something) or because of scattered focus or other reasons that i had not mentioned. This isn't only limited to ADHD btw.

My Experience Well, some people are chatty in nature, im one of them, i often think alot, chat to myself alot to the point of having a fake convo (i know im the one replying to myself, thats the thing) because you're brain is super active and all that.. eh, i wish it's silent you know? And it doesn't have anything to do with those two things up there before.

And to answer your very first question to how you can know it's your thought.. i can only explain in one definition: You always know the reason, or why, or the train of thought behind it. Something that interjects and does and follow your flow is a foreign thought.

Also, to be safe, these are what you have to look out for that could mean your thoughts... can be alters:

Commenting on different preferences often

Commenting on what you're doing, sometimes telling you to do it differently or somewhere along the lines

Refer with different names

Have consistent, distinguishable accent/tone/characteristic (where, obviously, are not your thoughts)

Seem to have different views, morals, ethics

Capable of handling conversations, and reasoning, as if it's a physical person you're talking to. Which is entirely outside of your own will and intention

Often dissociate, feel like a different you, and have inconsistent likes/dislikes

If you seem to match up with these signs, you are likely to be an undiscovered system. And i will dedicate myself to further assist you to assess if you are one in an even more detailed/complete manner because it takes a decent amount of time to figure this out (oh and feel free to read DID resources just incase). If you got your answer, thats great! If you think you are a system, feel free to refer this ask when DMing me alright?

Wish you a good day.

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #sysblr #dissociative identity disorder #janswersask

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fanfic-inator795 · 3 months

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Ranking my favorite animated dad characters because I can’t sleep

I realized that a lot of my favorite animated characters are dads, so fuck it. Let’s rank them both on their dad-ness and on their character overall.

7. Ansel Beauregard (Arlo the Alligator Boy/I heart Arlo): okay so, as much as I’m kinda hyperfocusing on this guy rn, he kinda HAS to get the lowest rank ‘cause like… he literally abandoned his gator baby in the sewer. Honestly the fact that he’s able to be likable at all is a damn miracle, but the movie and show pull it off surprisingly well.

Basically from the moment he finally accepts Arlo into his life, he’s trying his best to make amends - though admittedly he still doesn’t always go about it the best way, lol. Growing up bullied then isolated and then becoming crazy rich at a young age has definitely made him more than a little oblivious, out of touch and self-centered (though these parts of his personality are still funny/endearing instead of being annoying imo) but he still genuinely cares (even when he was unwilling to face his truth, he still gave Arlo advice that he at least thought was in Arlo’s best interest based on what worked for him) and I really do love the interactions he has with Arlo. I also love the whole bird-man aspect of him both as a character design and fun quirk, and his VA work and singing is also phenomenal. (Seriously, I’ve been listening to “Better Life” multiple times per day, someone pls I need help asdfghjkl)

6. Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz (Phineas & Ferb): So, back when I was a kid, Doof was definitely my favorite character, and while I’ve kiiiiiinda grown out of him in some aspects (his over-exposure in things like MML didn’t exactly help), I can still enjoy him for being a really funny and really enjoyable character.

Can he sometimes be annoying, slightly obnoxious and take up too much screentime in the latter seasons? Sure, totally. But like- I’m never gonna NOT love the ‘evil villain who has a huge soft spot for their child’ trope, it’s a classic for a reason. Doof is a dork and can be overbearing, but he’s also really sweet and will do anything for his daughter, including get himself stung by dozens of bees. It also can’t be denied just how many of his lines and moments can still get laughs out of me even after all these years. We Stan a petty ADHD-king and (not-so-)evil scientist dad.

5. Hamato Yoshi/Lou Jitsu/Splinter (ROTTMNT): oh hey, another dad with trauma - only instead of being bullied and forced to hide himself or having a nonsensical tragic backstory, he had to deal with generational trauma, being forced into fighting/killing for sport, and finally getting mutated which led to years of on/off depression. …yeahhhhh.

This is another character I really admire for just how well they’re written, even if he wasn’t always the best dad (though for the record, he wasn’t nearly as neglectful as some fans want to claim…) I think most Rise fans would agree that Splinter absolutely has the best arc in the series, going from a strictly comedy relief couch potato to a loving father/tragic figure who manages to rise above everything for the sake of his kids. He’s willing to let the world burn for the sake of his sons and I respect the hell out of him for it regardless of whether or not it’s the ‘moral’ choice. But he’s also still really funny and really cool when he wants to be, and for as much as I’ve drifted away from Rise, Splinter and his story is still one of the few aspects I adore and appreciate about this show.

4. Pete McGee (The Ghost and Molly McGee): Pete is just a super endearing character to me even if he arguably has the least going on of all the TGAMM characters. He’s a very typical goofy sitcom dad both in terms of design (which, ngl… Pete is kinda really cute? Am I the only one who sees it?) and attitude, usually only being used for comedy while Sharon is the one who gets to be the slightly more serious one and have the heart-to-hearts with/give advice to Molly.

But that’s fine because even if he’s not the deepest dad on this list, he’s still incredibly endearing imo. He’s a 100% Wife Guy, he struggles to stand up for himself but still always tries to stand up for his family, he inspired Molly to be heavily interested in community service, and he’s a dancer! Which is just a really fun quirk, hence why I really love both the Ice Princess episode and the Dance Dad episode (asdfghjkl I remember when Tess and I were watching the latter, she was cringing at all the TikTok dances while I was sitting next to her enjoying the song and just being like yeahhhhh get it Pete! Lol). While I do wish we could have gotten a bit of deeper character stuff with Pete, he’s still pretty solid and very enjoyable to watch.

3. Bob Belcher (Bob’s Burgers): we love our autistic Burger King babeyyyyy! Seriously though, while I’ve grown to love all the Belchers, there’s definitely a reason why I gravitated towards Bob first. He’s a mess of a guy who’s just trying his best to deal with all the chaos that life and his family throw at him, and we love him for it.

I love that even while being the most grounded character in the show, he’s not afraid of being a little unhinged and just fucking going off on someone or something. He’s also often the one who’s always trying to help others, even when it’s usually by accident given how much of an introvert he is. He loves his wife, his kids and his burgers with all his heart, and even when he’s at his worst (which is a rarity), you still are rooting for the best for him and want everything to work out. His heart-to-hearts with his kids (and with other characters) really are some of my favorite moments from the show. Furthermore, much like literally all the other characters on this list, his VA’s delivery just adds SO much to his character as well. I really do just love H. Jon Benjamin, he’s so hilarious and needs to voice more characters.

2. Rodolfo Rivera/White Pantera (El Tigre): Ah yes, my first favorite animated dad character, even before Doof. As such, I’m always gonna have a soft spot for this guy. Like I’ve said before, I love how he’s able to be both a goofy and super soft-hearted character but can also be a total badass at times, sometimes without even trying.

He just wants to protect his city and help his son grow up right, and I love him for it! He’s easily one of the funniest characters in the show, but I appreciate that he’s allowed to still be cool and still have a win occasionally. He also manages to be stern without ever becoming unlikable or unreasonable, given that he’ll still always be there for his son and father even when they’re doing things he doesn’t approve of, and I think it’s that overall balance that really endeared me to him, plus his great design+voice (if I had a nickel for every time I gravitated to an Eric Bauza-voiced dad, I’d have two-). His little catchphrase quirks like “okay be good!” and saying Manny’s full name live in my head rent-free, ngl.

1. Bill Green (Big City Greens) let me make this clear… I! LOVE! BILL! GREEN! He’s just… SO great. He’s wholesome, he’s funny and goofy, he’s sweet, he’s a loving father, he’s stern but still reasonable, he’s a hard worker, he’s super relatable, he’s a secret badass, he’s a huge dork, he sings about his truck and is super attached to his wood carvings - he really is just everything and I mean that in the best possible way.

While Cricket and Tilly are obviously the stars of the show, I really do love how much energy the show puts into making Bill this incredibly well-rounded and likable character who you just can’t help but sympathize with and root for when it comes to his farm stuff. I can’t say that he’s perfect, he’s definitely made a couple pretty poor decisions here and there, but overall I think he’s everything I want out of a great animated dad character (probably because he honestly reminds me a lot of my own dad - or at least, the positive parts of my dad). He’s not the only thing I love about BCG, far from it, but he’s definitely one of my biggest favorite things about it.

BONUS HONORABLE MENTION DADS:

- Vasquez (BCG): bodyguards/surrogate dads absolutely count. So happy that Vasquez has become much more prominent and fleshed-out as the show’s gone on, he’s just so great. Thank you Danny Trejo for voicing him, can’t wait for that s4 ep where Vasquez apparently goes to therapy

- Lego Batman (Lego Batman Movie): ah yes, the kick-starter to the Batman/Bat-fam phase I had in college. Fits right alongside characters like Ansel and Splinter for being obviously flawed dads (bro literally called his new son ‘expendable’ wtf Bruce) who still care a lot/grow to become better people over time through the influence of their kid. Will Arnett is still absolutely hilarious as this character, I love how he immediately goes into dad-mode when Robin gets slammed into the windshield, and that bit at the end where he finally tells Robin the truth about his ‘dads’ still gets me a bit teary-eyed

- Wild Knuckles (The Rise of Gru): technically a grand-dad but whatever. Like I said, I love my villains with a soft-side for their kid, and it makes me sad that the Rise of Gru fandom essentially ignored this guy in favor of hot young Dr. Nefario. Like- I don’t care if the arc between him and baby Gru was somewhat rushed, dude literally got himself burned alive by a huge dragon for his surrogate grandkid, he deserves better

If you’ve made it this far, let me know if you like any of these dad characters + what your favorites are ^v^

#arlo the alligator boy #I heart Arlo #big city greens #the ghost and molly mcgee #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #Phineas and ferb #bob’s burgers #el tigre #el tigre the adventures of manny rivera #personal crap #random thoughts

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vicekillx · 3 months

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UPDATE: 2024

Usually I make these kinds of post around New Years, but this year I didn't really have anything to say. But now we're a month in and I definitely do.

I feel…different, this year. In a good way, I think. I feel like I'm tired of being complacent and riding coattails. This month has been a whirlwind of getting my shit in line. So far I:

handled two serious family crises smoothly and picked myself back up quickly from both

called my health insurance (phone calls have historically been an hours-long meltdown-inducing debacle for me) twice to switch my PCP because the previous one was consistently booked 3-6 months out and she just forgot to mention the inhaler I pulled out of my bag to show her at my first appointment so I couldn't get a refill on it or my nebulizer when I had COVID; that's been getting put off since August of last year

made an appointment with said new PCP for Feb 1, and I'm hoping they'll be able to refer me to a dentist and optometrist because I desperately need both

got back into therapy with an autism/ADHD specialist who can help me manage those specifically after my previous therapist didn't understand why I couldn't just Do It™; also have assessments lined up for both to get diagnoses

pay more attention to my health in general, including diet and exercise. I'm already down about 10 lb

restructured my planner to include a mood tracker and sleep tracker, and have been better about staying on top of it

got Trello up and running and so far it's working really well for me

have been doing my house chores more consistently, namely cleaning litter boxes and taking care of my snakes and tarantulas (roommates have been picking up my slack but they shouldn't have to, they're my animals)

am able to work more consistently on my designated work days; before it was a lot of chipping away and putting things off rather than sitting down and making actually decent progress

am finally starting a tattoo sleeve I've wanted for a very, very long time as a belated birthday gift to myself

am consistently filling stream sketch slots, which means I can actually make money and pay my bills on-time (and a huge, huge thank you to everyone who signs up, I'm pretty sure this is the primary reason I've been able to pull myself out of the hole. Financial stability is a hell of a drug)

This year I wanna try really hard to keep the train moving along this track. If things keep going the way they are, I could potentially make some pretty big changes in the not so distant future. Some things I'm brainstorming:

UnholyFans

merch other than stickers (seriously I have so many designs in mind, I just haven't had the drive to work on them or the upfront capital to order inventory)

more monster/demon adoptables

I would really like to collab with some other artists, it's been too fuckin long

website restructure

picking up my side business (I did literally zero pieces for it last year oof), ideally with a rebrand

get back into conventions and try some new crowds: reptile/exotic expos, tattoo conventions, oddities expos, sex conventions, BDSM groups…

push the stream setup to be more professional

rekindling the spark for my personal stories and headworld projects

more I have written down somewhere but can't think of off the top of my head

And to be clear, I'm optimistic, but also a realist. I know from experience that shit changes and I could hit a massive depressive slump in a month or two and be back to where I was for most of last year. I'm still not going to promise anything I'm not confident I can deliver. However, that doesn't mean I shouldn't try.

I already got sidetracked with this post, so I'm gonna make a second to get to my original point and I'll come back and add a link to this one when I do. But suffice to say I want to try - again - to breathe some kind of life back into my SubscribeStar. I have some ideas in mind, but I want to hear yall's opinions on it too.

Watch this space ♥

#vice says #update

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ineffable-masquerade · 10 months

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omega strikers characters: who does and doesn't have ADHD?

Imma tell u who I think does and doesn't have ADHD in omega strikers. This is based off my dumbass opinion so don't take things I say seriously tho if u do disagree plz tell me what u think

Julliete: Yeah she definitely has ADHD. Hyperfixating on corestrike that much must be due to something

Kai: The fact that his secondary is literally just a speed boost makes me think he doesn't like waiting, so I'm going to say probably.

Estelle: Probably does not have ADHD. Very patient and doesn't hyperfixate on anything.

Dubu: Unknown. He is a hamster. Non human or oni characters cannot be described with human mental disorders.

Atlas: Probably the only character who would not be distracted by a butterfly besides maybe Estelle or octavia who would probably be distracted by how pretty it looks rather than the fact that it's moving. The only character that has zero chance of having ADHD.

Drek'ar: Unknown due to not being a human or oni. Again, see dubu for explanation.

Juno: Unknown. She is a literal mass of slime. See dubu for explanation

Rune: Used to have ADHD before being possessed by a demon from obscura. Kinda messed with his brain a little.

X: Probably brags about the fact that he has several mental disorders, most definitely has ADHD.

Era: She likes butterflies. I feel like I don't have to explain further. She definitely has ADHD.

Luna: C'mon, you know the answer.

Ai.Mi: She was born from ADHD. Molded by it. She comes from the very fabric that is ADHD. She is ADHD cuz she is internet.

Asher: Neurotypical people don't just go gambling without reading the laws and win enough that you get reported to the police, likely has ADHD.

Zentaro: Does not have ADHD. He's just a calm, collected, and cool kid with a sword.

Rasmus: Unknown. Serious exposure to omega probably altered his mind a lot, so I'd say the omega exposure gave him ADHD or worsened ADHD that he already had. He is very tunnel-visioned on his experiments and would probably confuse a butterfly for a cup of coffee if he was thirsty enough.

Vyce: Oddly enough I don't think she has ADHD. Just cuz she likes rock and has a very energetic personality, she doesn't really seem like she has it due to being able to focus on stuff and not really hyperfixating on anything. Side note: Though she probably does drink a lot and has likely kissed the entire adult female portion of the cast at least twice. Maybe has kissed X on accident once.

Octavia: This bitch screams ADHD. Constantly on social media and burning bridges to close people in her life just to pursue something she takes extreme interest in? I am 110% sure that she has ADHD.

Finii: A kid who is bored all the time? Hyper obsesses over bunnies as you can see from her outfit? Literally became a magician just so that she wouldn't be bored all the time? This kid needs some medication imo, definitely has ADHD and her parents need to realize that.

anyways das it I tried to go in order of the characters from memory but i probably messed up somewhere before Ai.Mi and after Drek'ar. lmk your thoughts on this if u see this plz

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asterchats · 6 days

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(this is a word dump about being neurodiverse and disabled but also traumatised enough to be able to mask sometimes, and medical people's reactions to it, you're good to skip this if you wanna, i'm fine just complaining, love u)

also the fact that my adhd is so unconventional for what it is. i did really, like, REALLY, well in school. i can usually rely on adrenaline (anxiety) and hyperindependence through trauma to help push me through 3/7 days a week, which isn't bad, and the after-effects only come in from exhaustion of masking all day (although bump it up to four and i do get. suicidal kdslfjlksj). i can keep clean spaces if anyone else might possibly ever see them but cannot keep clean spaces that are private/my own. and also i forget everything i try to do for myself, never buy what i went to the store for in the first place, constantly forget that friends exist, hyperfocus accidentally, i am able to do things ONLY because of deadlines

all of the hallmarks of "your disorder is ONLY a disorder if it's stopping you from achieving things in your day to day life" are things that i don't meet because i have about 20929348 systems in place which I've developed over the years to force myself to meet deadlines and not forget things Including a great deal of childhood "you're not good enough/independent enough" trauma resulting in hyperindependence. and then unmasking at home is Exhausting and i haven't eaten or peed all day or had anything to drink and I haven't spoken to any friends and have no energy to speak to any friends and i have to go lie in a dark room for two hours and i have chronic pain i haven't noticed all day and i'm too exhausted to even cook and i semi-regularly end up not eating at all on the days i work and my friend tells me something and I !!!!!!!! have no idea what they said two seconds afterwards!!!!!! sometimes i literally forget what i am saying right in the middle of saying it like 3 words into a 10 word sentence!!!!!!!!

something something pathologising neurospice and prioritising predominantly medical views of it (i.e. rejecting self-diagnosis - although I do have a diagnosis from a nd-specialising psych) completely ignores that neurodivergence! should not be! diagnosed! by its deficits!!!!!!!!! you can't just LOOK at someone and say "hey you're, like, surviving in this society so we're not going to Label You As X" like being offered access to 'x' is a Fate Worse Than Death. like anyone who is neurodiverse is not allowed to have figured out a way to survive when in fact figuring out a way to survive is something we've been doing our entire lives.

also!!!!! my systems i've put in place are literally the systems explicitly taught to people who have adhd to make their lives easier!!!!!! i just didn't have a diagnosis before i started figuring out how to make my life easier for myself. so like what? i don't count now because i didn't pay someone with a medical degree to "coach" me?

and as much as this is a critique of the medical model of disability it's also a critique of the way the disability community goes "well EVERYONE..." like it is everyone. it is not. hate being alienated from people who Get It because they get it but they don't get the way it applies to me. i am privileged to be able to work 3 days a week consistently for 3+ years at this point, i also sometimes starve idk. idk idk. i have an entire internal phenomenological experience to write about but i am not sure i have anything interesting to say in the disability context that hasn't already been said.

part of being neuro-affirming is knowing that everybody is different. and not everybody can be looked at from the outside through a Deficit Model because they're very good at hiding it. and in fact affirmation starts with knowing those strengths are there and have been there all along

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mommypieck · 6 months

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Hello! I've been here for a while and seeing how much you've been through so far makes me sad that you've experienced so much sad shit. I recently came back to your blog since I wasn't on Tumblr for a while(I've been following you for sometime now) and decided to snoop around for a bit to see what I missed, congratulations on 10k followers btw🥺. Also I'm sorry in advance this will probably be long knowing how I can go on for a while.

Some things you've been through I can relate to, my family isn't a step family but it's definitely incredibly dysfunctional and can be shitty. It's almost 4am here so excuse any mistakes I make in writing this, I literally told myself if I didn't send this to you now I'm not gonna be able to later so I'm fighting sleep. Also your friendships I'm sorry you're stuck with people who don't deserve you in just about every aspect ☹️.

You seem like such a genuine sweetheart. I had an experience with a friendship I wanted to end before and I remember being the same as you were, wanting to stay in that friendship but couldn't leave because I was so attached to that person. I thought the end of the world was gonna happen when I left because I was so codependent on them. But I realized that the feelings I had when it came to them shouldn't be taken lightly, the bad feelings, every single one should never be taken lightly. I'm not gonna sit here and make any promises towards you that certain things are gonna be perfect but I can at least say that it's gonna be okay. Not just when but comes to friendships but living apart from your family. I know you've probably heard this shit a million times but you're not gonna be stuck in the same situation forever. If you have decided to leave that friendship I hope you felt the relief I did when I left mine, if you haven't decided to yet, you most likely will feel relieved even if there's always gonna be a longing for the good moments you might have had before, don't let the good distract you from all the bad.

When we all are teenagers or were teenagers, we are constantly told how grown up we have to act that we forget how young we really are. You are 19, you are so incredibly young and you have so much time to become whoever or whatever you want to become. I remember Jane Fonda saying that if you can't do something in your 20s,30s,40s or even 50s, you can still do it in your 60s. I DON'T mean that you won't accomplish all you desire now, because I'm sure you'll definitely get there, but you have a lot of time to get there, to think, to breathe, to exist, to have fun, to have new experiences.

Please remember that you haven't even met all the people who are gonna love you yet. You have so many people who will enter your life later on, as long as you allow them to enter and stay, that can and will love you so much.

If your family is shitty or weird, then you can have your own family, family is not defined to me by blood but by love. So I'm not telling you become pregnant or anything, but your friends can be your family, people you meet along the way can always become family, maybe even family members you'll eventually meet again will rekindle your family relationship.

I'm a bit forgetful (ADHD and trauma not a good combo)so I'm trying to remember what else I was gonna add omg.

You're a sweet girl, you're incredibly talented, if your desire is to become a writer then you're perfect for it already. Honestly I live by, "if Colleen Hoover and Anna Todd can write and publish those damn books, you damn well can too." And I know your books won't suck like theirs do. Full offense to Colleen Hoover fans btw🙃 I expect if you're reading stuff by mommypieck then your taste isn't bad.

Anyway this has been so long and I don't want to overwhelm you, so I'll end it for now, stay safe, and I hope you have a beautiful forever because just wishing you one day isn't enough💖🥺💖.

i am at loss of words.i seriously don't know what to say. thanku so much for this message. it means a world to me really. i am so happy that i have people here who stick with me and actually care what i have to say.i kinda feel bad that you spend so much time, typing all of this. but you seriously gave me hope for better life. thanku so so so so so much. i love u and i appreciate you. thank you again.

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adelle-ein · 6 months

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rambling about the ocd

so yeah yesterday not only did my ocd therapist tell me i have the highest ocd score she's ever seen (and like, she is not a new or inexperienced practitioner by any means) she told me that apparently a lot of my thought and behavior patterns are obsessive-compulsive. and a lot of them tie back to really extreme morality ocd, which actually explains a lot about the ways i've acted my entire life that were just brushed off as weird/quirky/generically anxious. even my other ocd "types" (contamination, etc) are all manifestations of severe morality ocd (i fear various forms of contamination because it makes me immoral, essentially) (that's fun).

i really didn't think it was that bad. i didn't think it was especially bad at all, truth be told, just one of the many diagnoses that make up my weirdness. but actually it's probably been the root cause for everything all along, including stuff i dismissed as just my own weirdness, like the extreme sensory processing stuff that's developed lately (fwiw i bought some new water bottles and significantly improved my hydration so working towards recovery on that). but since i don't have any compulsions that cause myself visible physical harm i didn't think it could be Real ocd. like i don't handwash to a dangerous level or self harm or starve myself, so i thought it was okay (nvm that i have caused myself extreme and permanent-feeling mental damage lol)

i've been perpetually exhausted, 24/7, since i was fourteen. because my brain's been at constant war with itself and still is and inhibits everything i do. because every single action i take is like moving through a molasses of obsessive thoughts and finishing compulsive rituals. my self esteem is somewhere in the marianas trench bc i feel like i'm constantly violating moral norms 24/7. the drugs that allow me even basic function worsen the fatigue and the brain fog and the weakness, but i need them or i literally can't stop doing compulsions. like if they stop making it or something i would need 24/7 care from my parents again bc i wouldn't be able to feed myself or shower or sleep.

i had been wondering a lot the last couple of years if i was autistic, especially with the sensory stuff, but it's now dawning on me that i just have the absolute worst fucking ocd that manifests itself in literally every aspect of my behavior and thought patterns. it looks very autistic on a surface level and gets me a high raads-r score, but probably isn't. like i could still be autistic, sure, but it's most likely that i just have incredibly severe ocd with every "less common" side effect known to man - sensory issues, routine and planning, social anxiety, stimming, etc etc. i did know that ocd/autism/adhd symptom overlap is huge but not that it was this huge.

none of this really changes anything, like i still need treatment, she's still gonna see me, but like, fucking hell. even i had been downplaying how sick i was, and probably still am, like even now i'm like well it can't be THAT bad i'm not dead :) but it is that bad. it's insanely bad. it's far worse than the "well everyone's kinda anxious and depressed right?" standard i keep tricking myself into believing i am. even now i'm STILL fucking questioning it bc i see people with ocd who seem so much worse than me but really i think that's more about what people are willing to put on the internet....i do not share my worst obsessions and compulsions generally and even when speaking privately to people i still downplay things heavily, i just can't do it. i'm extremely good at masking and hiding and downplaying because i've been doing it my whole life and a lot of my compulsive behaviors look pretty normal from the outside...but they're still very bad and the obsession levels are out of control high. and i've been doing so badly lately that i've had to step back from social media a lot because literally everything is a severe trigger at this point, from fandom drama to serious political stuff, because i get caught in a severe mental morality feedback loop every time i see something that can trigger it which is now a lot of things. but the stepping back also triggers a morality loop wheeeeeee (i see a ukraine flag emoji and have to sit there processing extremely distressing Moral Thoughts about ukraine and the war, for like...a while. to give you an idea of how severe it's gotten and why i've absolutely had to go quiet and careful with how i interact with pretty much everything, esp online where extreme positions are really common. i'm also really prone to picking up other people's anxieties and compulsions rn so again have to be SUPER careful what i look at - a tumblr poll about cleaning habits or similar can trigger compulsive behavior...)

it would be super cool if the ssa had cared about any of this but that ship's long sailed and they don't believe in or speak with therapists anyway (at least not in my state, they refused to even contact my therapist for the review they kicked me out over. even MD mental health practitioners aren't really exempt, they treated my psychiatrist incredibly rudely...)

but yeah no wonder i'm so dysfunctional and struggling so badly if i'm this abnormally ill ig

#this isn't very coherent i'm just...processing #txt #lacevent

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v-arbellanaris · 10 months

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i have a question. or not really a question and more like a request for advice.

basically: my mahariel is currently canonically involved with alistair in dao until the landsmeet where he dumps her because he's now king and was unhardened. this is all planned and on purpose because it was the least tragic outcome for my worldstate. mahariel later gets in another relationship that presumably works out well unless da4 does something to either hof or the other person. but that's not the point.

the point is, i made her romance alistair when i liked him. and now i... kinda don't. i'm not sure what happened but he's starting to annoy me. you could make up some "you just grew up" stuff probably but i was 17 when first playing and now i'm 20 so not much growing up could happen.

and now i don't know what to do. do i just never play dao again (actually plausible because i fried my brain on top of having adhd and now i cannot replay games without just skipping dialogue because it's not captivating anymore) to avoid cringing at his romance? do i change her entire romance and the worldstate (it used to be carefully planned to not kill either alistair or hawke because i didn't want that kind of unhappy ending for mahariel and because my hawke is andersmancer and anders is literally the reason i started the game so i'm NOT breaking my blorbo's heart like that) but i feel like that would undermine the 3 years of building canon? do i just accept that i have to get through alistair's romance if i ever replay dao on my babygirl?

i literally have no idea what to do and if i should even do anything. like it's pixels and not that deep. help

also no hate to alistair enjoyers i get the appeal but seems like it ended up not being my cup of tea.

sorry for the wall of text and it's probably very incoherent i have no brain and it's 1 am and i'm not even currently focused on dragon age but i needed to ask someone for an opinion apparently

AHHHHH i love it when aliwarden drama its soooo good. for obvious reasons, like kal's worldstate, i love it when he dumps you for various reasons.

i think this makes sense though! each individual is different, and the past three years have been enough to age anyone twenty years, so it's understandable if you look back at him with a different perspective. that being said, i also understand being really reluctant to undo 3 years worth of work on character and dynamic building.

from my perspective, you have several options:

ONE, you replay dao with your babygirl and see where that takes you. sometimes, that's a return to the whiteboard or to have the opportunity to explore the game can open up loads of new areas for consideration you might not have been able to think of out of game because in-game you just sometimes have to make a snap decision. i DID also do this w my kal pt which made me change canon from alistair getting exiled to king alistair married to anora which i'm really happy with because 1. kal having to live with the consequences of her actions in a very real way 2. the inherent messiness of that whole situation after is something i enjoy intensely. and you might find another romance more interesting to pursue for mahariel you might not have thought of!

TWO, incorporate this perspective growth into your character! i think one of the most tragic aspects of the aliwarden romance - if you're doing a Specific kind of pt, like yours, and like my alikal runs as well - is that in a lot of ways, for a lot of characters, the tragic inevitability of their falling apart can always be there from the start. wynne's warnings become a prophecy rather than just her brownnosing. for kal, she was always going to be on the opposite character arc that alistair was going to be on because of how their stories start and end - kal has already gotten her revenge at the start of the story, whereas alistair is heading towards the resolution of a revenge story at the end. so maybe it's worth it to try and think about the headspace your mahariel starts in, and how she develops through the story, and how the story shapes her - and how that differs or doesn't differ from alistair. how does her growth through the story impact alistair's?

in defense of alistair's... childishness? i suppose? he acts young because he is very young! he's nineteen! a lot his humour is a mask for very deep trauma and insecurities. and his decisions can be very frustrating for a HOF but i think considering that he's grieving the loss of a lot people he cared about - ofc he talks about duncan specifically but he does also talk about a lot of the other fereldan wardens, everyone who had made the wardens a family for him over the last six months for a guy who has never had a family before and deeply, intensely, wants one is really insane. and i think it really puts a lot of his actions into perspective and contextualise that. and maybe going through the game and re-experiencing Actual Alistair and not Fandom Perspectives On Alistair might help you reach a decision about where you want to go with him narratively.

i hope that was of help to you!

#asks

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