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doobea · 17 days

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SPITTIN' OUT LIKE LISTERINE ─ RIN I.

synopsis: sae is great at a lot of things, his brother... not so much. when sae calls you up to tutor rin for his upcoming exams the first thought should've been 'yeah, sounds like easy money' rather than 'why does it look like he wants to kill me right now'.

MILESTONE EVENT || MILESTONE MASTERLIST

contents: gn!reader, reader is two grades above rin, college AU setting, forced proximity, best friend's brother, rin is a lil emotionally constipated but its alright bc we love him, sae is a physics major in this idk why word count: 10.9k (haha... why do i do this) a/n: hi hi umm idk if i know how to write tbh its been quite some time,,, but im slowly finding myself getting back into the groove and umm yeah it'll still take some time!! anyways, thank you for beta'ing @popponn and of course this fic is dedicated to you too my sweet <3

You meet Itoshi Rin at a coffee shop, of all places.

The kind of shop that you often see campus influencers hanging around. Hole in the wall. Dangling fairy lights paired with a few overgrown rose bushes in the front. A bit old-schooled, wooden counter tops, with well loved espresso machines. It’s not a big cafe, just enough to hold a few couches, a singular bookshelf packed with all sorts of board games, and low rise tables with way too many heat stains.

At the start of the year, it started out as a quiet job. Never too overwhelming and had just enough downtime for you to finish up assignments in between breaks. Recently, due to a couple of self-proclaimed foodies on campus, business has blown up ten-fold. So, instead of catching up on your latest lectures, you’re stuck brewing teenage girls their overpriced lattes that are just mostly multiple pumps of flavored syrup and copious amounts of whipped cream. It’s rough but manageable to say the least, judging from the tips.

You’re currently on scholarship, top of your classes and major, but you’re also living on your own so rent’s gotta get paid one way or another. Whether it be working part-time as a teaching assistant, a barista, or both.

On this particular day, you’re just about done closing up shop. The last hour had you rushing back and forth, fulfilling a last minute order from a Karen that swore up and down that she placed a mobile app order for ten frappuccinos twenty minutes prior. It’s been a long day, but the evening has finally calmed down. You’re scrubbing down the counter, putting all the remaining elbow grease you have into this one particular syrup spill earlier that you didn’t realize that someone had walked in until they started clearing their throat.

You barely look up, having the stain just almost disappear from the counter, but the information you register is enough to know that it’s a guy, and he’s by himself.

And, okay, in a normal setting you would probably be smart enough to realize that a guy wearing a black cap, oversized hoodie, and a large gym bag at nearly nine o’clock at night is anything but suspicious. You, however, worked a long day. Your eyes are strained from operating the bright tablet menu. Your hair is a frenzied mess. There’s tea stains all over your apron. You get the gist.

So you don’t really notice at all, except that this guy is idling in front of the counter, looking over at the menu with equally strained eyes as you. That’s not unusual. You’ve learned when to be helpful and when to give someone their time and space. It’s slow now, not like it’s common for more customers to show up this late anyway.

After a moment, the customer clears his throat again. You turn around, fixing your apron, and work up a friendly smile and a quick “ready to order?” when it dawns upon you that this guy is breathtakingly gorgeous. So much so that if you could take over the rights of the Oxford Dictionary, you would attach this guy’s face underneath the word gorgeous and emo.

Dark wispy bangs, striking teal eyes, long mesmerizing lashes, and lips that naturally fall into a small frown giving him the ultimate resting bitch face. They’re also very kissable lips, and you hate yourself for jumping to that thought so fast. It’s not usual for you to hit on customers, let alone just anyone, and it’s probably safe to say that anyone as handsome as The Duke of the North (because you’ve also been reading too many romance comics on the side and this stranger definitely fits this role) probably has a partner of his own.

“Hey,” The Duke of the North looks awkwardly pained, as if he hates starting a conversation. His eyes drift down to your name tag that’s proudly displayed on your apron, littered with all sorts of stickers and pins. “I—um, what do you recommend?”

Working in food service made you absolutely hate this question with a burning passion. Everyone’s taste is subjective. You get this question all the damn time, and you have to put on your best customer service act, all preppy and bubbly. It’s not like you hate helping customers, you do. But, when they don’t give you anything to work with, it becomes your fault if the drink is bad.

Though, for obvious reasons, you don’t mind extending the conversation with The Duke of the North. Just by glance alone, you can tell he’s a bit of a health nut from the lean physique and the hefty gym bag that’s tossed around his shoulders. Looks scary and a little daunting, but you have an inkling feeling he’s more of a traditional type of guy.

“If you want popular suggestions then I’d rec our brown sugar boba for beginners or, if you want something less sweet, I always prefer our in house rose oolong milk tea.” You answer, good-naturedly.

The Duke of the North seems to be in deep pondering. The look on his face makes you feel a little uneasy, like maybe he’s missing something, but eventually he settles with the latter. “Rose oolong,” He says thoughtfully, almost unfamiliar with the term. “I’ll have that then.”

“It’s one of our signature drinks,” you ring in his order with a smile, “tends to be popular with a lot of the older women.” There’s tease laced in the tone, but you mean no harm. Maybe just a tiny amount for him coming in before closing.

And, after collecting the cash payment, you can tell that he’s struggling with the awkwardness hanging in the air. You assume he’s not used to jokes, or even hanging around others willingly for that fact. There was another comment you wanted to ask, more so his background and if he goes to the same university, but it quickly vanishes when the guy scurries to the furthest corner of the shop.

Okay, that’s fine too. Not everyone is suited for small talk.

You get the feeling that this guy wants to avoid people and maybe he’s also had one hell of a day. You’ve learned pretty early on as a barista to never ask anyone about their problems, only because you’ll accidentally sign up to become their therapist without meaning to.

You decide to brew up a warm batch of rose oolong tea, despite the fact he never specified if he wanted it hot or iced - he looks like the type of guy to always order a warm drink, even on a summer day. And, being the lovely barista you are, you decide to give him a large for the hell of it. This will go down as your one positive action for today, hoping that the good luck will carry over for tomorrow’s rough schedule.

“Hope you like it,” you present him with the tea and watch him as he swirls the drink around. He doesn’t look upset that it’s warm, so you take that as a good sign. “Feel free to hang back a little, I still have to clean up a couple of things in the back.”

“Sure, thanks,” he nods, and the words sound genuine. Without missing a beat, he retreats back in the corner and pulls out a laptop, notebook, and somehow manages to balance the drink on the cushion next to him. Yeah, definitely a fellow student working overtime like you.

True to your word, you go back to your boring list of chores to do; tons of equipment to be sanitized, chalkboard to be erased and be replaced by tomorrow’s daily specials, counting the register, taking out all the trash… maybe it’s not too late to find a less taxing job.

If you weren’t so tunnel visioned in your deep cleaning, maybe you would’ve noticed The Duke of the North spilling some of the tea on himself, asking if you had some extra tissues he could borrow, but only growing self-cautious when he realized that your earbuds are shoved in. And maybe you’d notice him cleaning up the spill with his own clothes from the gym bag, dabbing the spot furiously and making sure it looked like the same state prior.

You’re almost done with your long list of closing chores when The Duke of the North returns with an empty cup. “Thanks, again. ‘S was good,” he awkwardly offers up.

“Glad to hear,” you flush a little, because your uniform is a mess, and you clearly look the part still. Nothing is more embarrassing than a cute guy staring down at you while you’re sweaty, tired, and have soap suds all over your apron.

There’s a bit of a silence, and then he says, even more awkwardly, “I’ll, uh, see you around. Good night.”

“Sure,” you reply in a quiet voice, in a tone that’s taken on a dreamy sort of quality. “Night.”

You let out a ragged sigh by the time he was out of sight, praying to see him again in better circumstances. By the time you’re locking the front door, you’re half debating to FaceTime your best friend about the random encounter. Somehow, Sae tends to know just about everyone on campus, even if his friend group only extends out to you. Though, noting that it’s nearly midnight and you should really catch the last bus of the day, you quickly toss that thought out the window and save the energy for tomorrow’s session.

“Mind tutoring my brother for me?” Sae asks out of the blue the next day.

You flail a little, shooting him an exasperated look over your shoulder as your fingers stop in mid hover over the keys of your laptop. An hour and a half into the TA grading session and somehow things feel slightly more off than yesterday night.

There’s only one single thought running through your mind as you stare at Sae, best friend of nearly two years, “You have a brother?!”

A swarm of “shh” and “quiet down” soon blows in your direction in the library. You’re quickly met with glares from other senior students from nearby tables and study rooms as you mumble back flurries of “sorry” while Sae only rolls his eyes.

It’s nearing midterms, everyone and their mothers are camped on every floor and crevice of the building, thus making gossiping quite impossible and frowned upon. So you stare in disbelief at your friend on the wild fact that he potentially has a brother and didn’t bother telling you until now.

Sae blinks, “…Yeah? That’s shocking news to you?”

You laugh a little sheepishly, “You’ve never mentioned having one, let alone anything familial.” Then again, this is Sae. Talk about emotionally guarded.

“You’ve never asked,” Sae huffs before setting down a stack of graded papers. At the top, you see an unfortunate student’s work marred in everything red from Sae’s corrections. He’s always been a tough grader and, for any poor soul who has to take physics, chances of them retaking are high when he’s TAing.

“No offense, but you’ve always given me only child vibes,” you say, lamely, not hiding the fact you’re mildly annoyed. Seriously, this guy knows just about everything about your personal life and now you’re just finding out about his?

“All offense taken,” he replies dryly.

You scoot closer and whisper, “So, who’s the unlucky guy?”

Sae heaves, ignoring your comment, and continues, “Rin. He’s been focusing too much on sports lately to care about his midterms. He knows about the arrangement. I would offer to tutor him but… we don’t have the best sibling relationship.”

And, Sae being Sae, this doesn’t really surprise you. “See? The only child vibe checks out.”

“Anyways,” Sae rolls his eyes for the nth time and tosses you a half folded sticky note with the name and contact info of his presumed brother. “He gets his shitty attitude from me, so try not to get too upset if he doesn’t seem talkative.”

“I haven’t even given my answer to—”

“Just how often do I ask for your help?”

“Like never,” your reply is instant and Sae only raises his brows in confirmation. You take that as a sign of he’ll somehow return the favor. It’s a rare opportunity, perhaps even once in a blue moon, but there is just one thing that you’re wondering about—

“Don’t worry about the money, you’re going to be covered,” Sae reassures as he throws another thick stack of exams on top of the finished pile. “He’s a fast learner when he wants to be, just not as of recently since he’s started the semester.”

“I take it he’s a grade below?”

“About two years younger, in honors.”

You laugh, pulling away and readjusting your attention back to your laptop screen. “Seems smarter than you, I like him already.”

It’s a terrible day, because you’re awake before your alarm. Hell, you’re awake before sunrise.

It’s absolutely nonsense and your boss knows to stop giving you these opening and closing shifts back to back, but apparently nobody else had been available to open.

“You’re competent,” your boss had said over the phone last night. “I trust you more than our own managers, so you should at least feel proud about that.”

Should you?

Of course, you don’t fall for his stupid flattery, not when your alarm is finally blasting in your ear at five in the morning. Normally, you at least try to make yourself look half-presentable but, working on approximately four hours of sleep, the best you could do for yourself is throw on a sweater and jeans before heading out the door.

As a whole, you really do like your job and usually get the later shift but the recent manager got fired for stealing cash from the register, and your other co-worker called off for the next few weeks due to a family emergency, so now your life is a living hell — at least until they return. And, let’s not forget to mention that somehow you’re also stuck with tutoring your classmate’s younger brother because somehow he couldn’t have done it himself. Also a so-called “family emergency”.

The only thing you appreciate is at least it’s warm inside the cafe once you’ve turned on the lights and tossed your bookbag in the back room. The store might be short-staffed today, but mornings are always slow, which only means you can at least get paid by watching some YouTube videos while finishing setting the place up.

You barely get through setting up the pastries when there’s a knock on the door. Dear god. It’s barely seven, you’ve been here for exactly fifty minutes, and already you’re debating smashing your face against the coffee machine to put yourself out of this misery. If it’s a customer, you swear you’re going to kill someone.

As you glare intently at the window, in the early morning, pre-dawn glow, you can make out a tall guy, dressed in athleisure, peering through the glass. You’re about to grumble out loud about entitled customers showing up before opening hours but the door knob suddenly turns, all because you were too tired earlier to lock it, so now you have to put on your dumb customer service voice.

The bell chimes loudly as the guy walks in. The lighting in the coffee shop is low, with that quiet, comfortable ambience of soft piano background music playing through the speakers. Your eyes are still half-awake too, blurry around the edges with sleep. But that face, no one could possibly forget that.

“You’re back,” you say this in awe, offering up your best smile, even though it’s lopsided and droopy. The annoyance ebbs away slowly as the man approaches the counter.

The Duke of the North scratches his cheek, and looks around the cafe a bit more, realizing that he’s quite literally the only one here. “...Am I early?”

“Kinda, we open in thirty minutes,” you shrug. It’s not an accusatory thing, because at least this time he has the manners to come in before it’s open rather than before closing. That’s something you can work with. You were irritated earlier but now you’re suppressing a giggle. “Did you like the drink that much?”

Before he could answer, he tips his baseball cap and grips his bookbag before settling down on the nearest couch by the counter. Wondering if the comment had came out as off putting, you’re about to throw on a free pastry when—

“My brother recommended this cafe. Needed a quiet place to get some work done,” he explains with a slight pause, and continues, “The drink you made was good,” he says quietly and starts unpacking. For whatever reason, that puts a dumb cheesy grin on your face. You’re thankful he’s too occupied to catch that.

“Well, you’re welcome to stop by anytime. Just, you know, within actual store hours.” You laugh when you see the tips of his ear flushing a light shade of red.

“I suppose you’re right,” and you don’t have to look at him to hear the tiny smile in his voice.

“Did you want me to make you anything?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing at the moment. Thank you.”

You two are quiet again for a long time. He’s minding your space while you’re trying to finish your opening duties. When you’re finally done fiddling with the coffee bean grinder, you twirl around, mind racing and checking off your internal checklist with the next task being to actually open the shop. Though, as you turn, The Duke of the North is already by the front door, flipping the sign over to OPEN.

Can this guy get any more charming?

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that,” except that you totally loved the fact that he did just that. Maybe a concerning amount.

“I was getting up anyways,” he reasons simply with a shrug. Somehow he slightly reminds you of a certain someone, but you ignore the nagging voice inside your head.

“Well, keep that up and we might just hire you,” you tease.

The Duke of the North strolls up to the counter, presenting a credit card in his hand, and looks over the menu behind you. You give him space, but you absolutely try to make out the name on the card. You probably shouldn’t refer to him as The Duke of the North any longer than you should. Then again, if the shoe fits, why change?

Suddenly, the front door bell rings and the sight of maroon catches your attention.

“Sae?”

“You’re here awfully early,” Sae comments, nonchalantly.

You sigh, rubbing a hand to your temple. “Got moved to first shift, unfortunately.”

“Wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to him,” he nods towards The Duke of the North.

Blinking hastily, you choke out, “Wait, you two know each other?”

“Are you that blind?” Sae deadpans and stands next to the taller male, who looks mildly taken back, like somehow he doesn’t want to be here anymore. “This is Rin. The guy I was talking about yesterday. My brother.”

To say that you’re shocked might be an understatement. The correct emotion might’ve been appalled, or even dread? You’re not sure. But you weren’t expecting the meeting to be as unnerved as it was. Rin doesn’t even allow Sae to finish explaining, just ends up walking out with the promise of showing up to the shop at the end of your shift. You remember catching Sae’s irritated expression which, in itself, is extremely rare. It placed a strained smile on your face.

Back at your apartment, you’re currently trying to balance this tutoring session by turning it into a personal study time too. Though, you keep the sight of Rin in your peripheral as you complete your assignments in bed. It didn’t take you too long to look through his current curriculum and throw together a few practice and multiple choice questions for a quick knowledge assessment. He seemed pretty adamant about knowing everything, but Sae has his doubts.

Rin keeps looking over at his quiz, your digital clock, and the floor — all in that order. You don’t want to distract him anymore than he already is, though you can’t help but to spare a glance of what he has done so far.

The multiple choice questions have been filled out, with a couple of eraser bits on the side, but the short answers have hardly been touched. A lofty attempt has been made to the first short answer, where Rin drew a small circuit diagram to determine the internal resistance of a battery, but it kinda just stops at that. Any answers he has written for the problem set are mostly brief notions of what’s already stated in the prompt.

Rin currently has his fingers knotted in his hair, pencil tapping against the table and, underneath the desk, he’s bouncing his leg like mad.He tries to look indifferent on a surface level, but you can easily see the vein popping out on his neck.

By the time you’ve finished grading, Rin barely scrapes by with a C-. And, while some students would be ecstatic with that, it’s surely not enough to raise his current grade to a passing one.

Sae mentioned that Rin’s a fast learner when he wants to be and he never said tutoring would be an easy job. No worries, it’s not the first time you had to mentor a student before. What you’re more worried about is how Rin had been so sure that he knew what he was doing… when he obviously doesn’t.

You hand back the paper with the corrected answers in red ink. You even drew a tiny smiley face by his name to give him some sort of comfort, but Rin just makes a disgruntled noise and looks mildly disgusted.

“I don’t need your sympathy.”

You certainly didn’t expect him to snap at you. Rin visibly tenses and blood rushes to your ears.

Your lips part, finding the right words, as he redirects his attention to your bedroom window and stretches his jaw. Then, after an agonizing long pause, he tips his head back, slouches down in the chair, and sighs in defeat.

“Sorry,” his voice cracks a little and he leans down, resting his forehead on the edge of the table.

You pinch your lips together, eyebrows raised. He looks frustrated, but you can tell it’s not aimed at you. “Let’s… take a fifteen minute break, how does that sound?”

“I think I should go.” He’s a little breathless, possibly uncomfortable under the weight of your stare.

“I’m not delicate, Itoshi,” you say, slowly. You’ve dealt with a fair share of angst-ridden undergrads flustering over their assignments. Rin is no different, and you’re not the type to easily give up after a mini meltdown. It’s all about having the right approach, if you send him home now then the next session would just start off even more strained. “Stay for a while longer, we’ll go over everything one by one.”

“It’s fine.”

You sigh, lips curling ever so slightly. “Itoshi, has anyone told you that you’re a terrible liar?”

From the look on his face, it seemed like the world had slipped out from under his feet. You soon realize that Rin almost reminds you of a raging teen, when he’s like this. He’s fiercely independent, that’s for sure. The type that doesn’t like to make others worry but it ends up backfiring in the end. How he’s managed to get through with life is way beyond your comprehension, but you have a feeling that it has something to do with Sae.

“I… I don’t talk about stuff like this,” he admits and chews down on his lip - it seems like a nervous tick, a bad habit.

“I can tell,” a chuckle bubbles from you but you pause when you catch his glare. You start clearing your throat awkwardly, “I—um, I don’t talk about my feelings often either. I don’t think many people do. We’re all trying to figure things out as we go.”

“Have you figured it out yet?” Rin seems to surprise himself with that question.

Maybe for him, you look like you’ve got all your shit together. As if you’ve figured out all the great secrets in life. And maybe, you think, he just wants reassurance that he’s not alone, struggling, to find purpose. Or perhaps Rin wants you to offer up some adult advice, something only seniors would know.

Your eyes widen for a moment. Rin furrows his brows tightly together and stares at you for answers. You both know well enough that you don’t have a solution, but he looks at you anyway. All you offer him back is a warm, big smile.

“Itoshi, I’m two years older than you. I’ve had a little more years to figure it out,” you begin slowly, “I’ve had my ups and downs, almost flunked out a few courses when I was starting out, too. I didn’t just magically have it all come together.”

He appears doubtful, almost hard to believe. Rin looks like he’s about to protest but one look and he soon realizes that you’re pushing some truth there. You can tell that he’s struggling, mind working in overtime to try and process all of his internal conflicts — only because you’ve gone through the same.

“Honestly,” you continue, after a long moment of silence, and lean to the side, giving Rin’s shoulder a little nudge, “It’s not my business to dig around your psyche, but just know that you’re welcome to tell me anything. Physics related or not.”

Rin doesn’t say a word, but you take his silence as a contentment.

“So, uh,” you start to get up from the bed and pace towards the kitchen area, “I have some sliced fruit in the fridge, if you want some. Can’t solve these problems on an empty stomach.”

You two spend the rest of the night assessing the problems he got stuck on and going over shorthand tricks to easily remember what formulas to use. To your surprise, Rin stays mostly quiet and attentive this time around. He doesn’t stare at the worksheet in irritation anymore, and asks questions when he finds himself stuck on a problem. At the end, he manages a passing B on the new practice assessment. And, of course, while downing a bowl of freshly sliced honeydew.

It’s almost midnight by the time he starts heading out. You’re certain that this is going to kick you in the ass tomorrow morning, because you somehow forgot that you have an 8:00 AM class. It’s fine, you think, at least the atmosphere feels a lot lighter than when you guys first started, so you consider that as a plus.

As Rin begins to put on his shoes, you try to lean against the bedroom door casually and nearly fall over. Looking unimpressed, Rin looks up at you.

“Hm?”

“Do you dislike me?”

“You’d already be dead if I hated you,” Rin says this with a certain level of confidence that makes you both shiver and relax at the same time. You’re positive that he isn’t a serial killer but, then again, you don’t know if Sae is the only source of all that pent up angst.

When his hand rests on the front door knob, Rin suddenly looks back, eyebrows knitted together, and you can’t tell what his expression translates into. Nevertheless, it makes your breath catch in your throat, and you swallow hard.

“Yes, Itoshi?”

”You… your room is messy,” Rin eventually comments, very unnecessarily, which causes you to release a heavy sigh, sticking a disapproving tongue out.

“Wow, you really do get that shitty attitude from him!”

Rin just snorts, hands in his pockets, and you think this is the first time he’s ever really laughed. It throws you off and, before you get a proper chance to recover, he’s out the door.

“You’re surprisingly getting the hang of this, Itoshi” you’re glossing over the practice quiz he had today, feeling a surge of pride knowing that Rin was able to handle it just fine. He ended up receiving a B minus, which is nearly a grade higher from his past averages. Guess a heated vent session is the answer to most problems.

“I’ve cleared my head,” he shrugs nonchalantly, as if it’s the easiest thing to do in the world.

Outside, a storm rages and rattles the windows every time thunder roars. Typhoon season is nearing as the weather starts to get warmer, which ultimately means your evening shifts are cut early to avoid flood risks and violent winds. It’s been about two weeks since the first tutoring session and there’s been a slow progression in your relationship.

Having Rin over almost feels weirdly second nature, despite the short amount of time. You try to meet at least three times a week, two of those times happen right after your shift. The thing you miss the most about being a sophomore is the amount of free time you had. Rin’s classes practically finish before three every day and arrive at the coffee shop right after football practice everyday. Majority of the time, it would just be exchanging shorthand greetings but, whenever the evening rush dies down, you try to strike a quick check-in. Afterwards, the two of you would make the trip back to your apartment to continue the session.

Which leads to this current situation.

About an hour into the session you suggested a well needed break, for you at least. You’re laying down in your bed, playing a mobile game on full volume, while Rin is disciplined enough to still scroll over his previous lecture slides at your desk. You’re not sure if this is what he does to “relax”, or if he’s just simply not grown comfortable around you just yet. Either way, it’s hard to believe that you’re being out mentored.

“You know you can chill, right?”

“I know.” You hear muffled sounds of a lecture recording from his laptop.

“Well, I don’t hear you chilling.”

“I don’t need to be.”

Okay, yeah, you’re starting to see the family resemblance here. But it’s going to take a lot more than that to stop you. How else have you survived as Sae’s best friend for two years?

“Don’t you have any fun weekend plans?”

Rin shakes his head, eyes never leaving his screen. “Maybe not fun by your definitions.”

Your ears perk at this and you subtly lower the volume of the game. Maybe this is a sign to get to know his likes and dislikes, and whether or not he has a significant other — because that’s all important information. At least, that’s what you convince yourself. If Rin just so happens to be in a relationship, then you’ll easily set aside that growing curiosity. If he’s not, then a little harmless flirting won’t harm anyone, right?

“Itoshi,” you sit up from the bed with more purpose than before, Rin seems to catch on and visibly grimaces. “Tell me, I wanna know.”

“We should probably go back to studying,” he sighs.

You hop to your feet, sauntering to the desk and shutting his laptop with ease. Ohm’s Law can wait just a little while longer. “You’ve been at it nonstop since we’ve arrived here. It’s not good to cram everything in that big head of yours, that’s how people burn out faster. C’mon, a ten minute break won’t kill you.”

Rin doesn’t bother to argue against you, he’s been over well enough to pick up that you won’t let him become a complete workaholic.

“Fine,” he gets up and makes his way over to sit on the edge of your bed, because if he doesn't then you’ll eventually force him to sit elsewhere. Something about separating work and personal spaces to improve learning.

You plop down a few inches away with a winning smile, “So, what are your plans?”

“Football practice—”

“Something other than what I already know.”

He exhales loudly. “Catching up on coursework at the cafe, probably.”

This takes you by surprise, only because you work this upcoming weekend. “Really? Well, guess we’ll see each other then.” Maybe tenacity is just rooted deeply in the family’s genes.

“It’s a nice place,” he reasons, sneaking a glance at you.

You begin squirming, trying to turn from Rin without looking like a complete idiot. Then, slowly, “...What do you like about it?”

And, of course, the words barely escape your lips when the whole building seems to creak and groan under the effort of the storm. The power flicks suddenly around the room, and then it’s complete, utter darkness.

You don’t feel Rin’s presence next to you until a sudden gust of air hits your ear. You flinch and clap a hand over your ear while Rin mumbles out a quick apology and stumbles to establish his own personal space on the bed.

It starts to rain heavier now, water slapping hard against the window panels in big, ugly raindrops. You should probably get up and find a flashlight or any lighting of some sort, something to make the situation less awkward, but your body feels like a rock. You don’t want to move but, at the same time, your mind is telling you to run far, far away from Rin.

Heart throbbing against your chest, you gather up the courage to look at Rin’s face with the help of the dim lighting from the window sill. His eyes are half-lidded, seemingly glazed over in deep thought. He doesn’t say a single word, and every moment of his silence stirs the growing anxiousness inside. You swallow, suddenly aware that he’s beginning to unravel your sanity just by being there besides you.

“Are you, um, are you okay with thunderstorms?” you adjust your position with shaky limbs, trying your best to not cross his physical boundaries.

Rin fidgets in response, but you can tell he’s also trying to keep his cool. “I’m fine with them. I just wasn’t expecting the power to suddenly…”

“Yeah, my apartment sucks,” you groan, inwardly. “This doesn’t happen all the time, I swear.” A flash of lightning illuminates the room, you squint against the light. “Maintenance won’t be on site ‘till tomorrow morning. I doubt you want to stay so we’ll have to cut the session short for today.”

You feel the mattress dip a little. The two of you fall silent, and there’s a weird awkward tension hanging in the room, one where it leaves you both red and flushing. Your mind is racing, and there’s a million questions. He hasn’t made any moves of getting up, nor has he said anything about leaving. It’s a bit uncharacteristic for Rin to be unsure in a given situation like this, or is he just being polite? This feels different from your first meeting, it’s still unpredictable, still a confusing mess.

“Or we could talk!” you quickly add on. “I…uh, if you want to talk, that is.”

After a few more moments of that awkward, creeping silence permeating the room, Rin sighs. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to talk about,” he whispers and looks up, his face looking worn out.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. Silence is also okay.”

“I like silence,” he confesses.

“We can just sit here then,” you agree, “silence in itself can be therapeutic, too.”

You don’t necessarily agree with yourself. If it’s not for work at the cafe, you spend a good deal of your time in silence. Studying, grading students’ papers, thinking about your family back home, and preparing for life after graduation. It all gets overwhelming when you sit and process everything in your mind. Even so, the silence that falls between you and your best friend’s brother feels comfortable, in spite of the initial close proximity. You find yourself leaning back into the bed frame’s headboard, curling up sideways.

About ten minutes in, Rin cracks.

“When I was a kid, I used to be afraid of storms. Sae used to make dumb blanket forts with me. It’s silly, but…”

And, despite it being dark, you shoot him a knowing look. For a moment, Rin looks like he regrets even opening his mouth, like he’s about to blurt out a quick ‘nevermind’, but you don’t give him a chance.

“I’m listening, you don’t have to stop.” Unknowingly, you give his shoulders a little nudge of encouragement. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Rin thinks it over, and he only has to for a moment. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

He talks for a while, until he runs out of things to say. Or, rather, he runs out of energy to say anything. His thought process is a jumbled mess of how his relationship with Sae developed. Being the younger sibling, it’s natural for Rin to look up to his brother, to want to gain acknowledgement and become some sort of a mirror image. The thought of Sae looking after Rin while both of their parents were working overtime to provide for their education is also something you could heavily relate to. Around some point down the line, Sae began to distance himself from Rin without any apparent reasoning, at least in his eyes. Towards the end, it becomes a rambling about nothing, too, and you’re positive that Rin hasn’t even gotten into the meat of the issue.

Rin appears mildly exhausted, flustered, and a little embarrassed by the time he’s done. He turns to you, eyes narrowed, “Don’t say that you feel sorry for me, I’ve heard it about a dozen times already. It gets old.”

You shake your head, processing everything. You can tell he has so much more he wants to get off of his chest, so many things he wants to unload, things that he hasn’t even realized that’s been weighing him down.

“I wasn’t gonna say that,” and he stays still, studying your next words with high concentration. “Sae and I have been close for quite a while, and I totally get how he’s an ass—to you and just about everyone else. He’s abrasive and straight to the point with a lot of things. Also pretty sure he’s allergic to communication. Hell, I’m not entirely sure how I was able to get close to him in the first place,” you flare a deep breath out of your nose and rhythmically tap your fingers along your thighs. “But I know he has a weird way of caring for others, too.”

“How so?” Rin doesn’t sound annoyed, just confused. Almost hopeful, even.

“Well, he’s signed you up for tutoring, which might actually not be a good example of care but, um… He normally hates asking people for favors. This is just an unconventional way of saying that he’s making sure you’re doing okay.”

“Could’ve said it himself.”

“Yeah, well, you came to the cafe because he told you, right?”

With that, he quickly shuts his mouth, forming it into a subtle pout. Is he embarrassed that you’re right?

Another flash of lightning comes by, followed by low rumbling thunder. Then, an idea brews.

“This is gonna sound a bit crazy but… do you wanna build a fort?”

Rin snorts. “What’s with that?”

“Well, it doesn't seem like you’re in a rush to leave. Then again, maybe a taxi service would be expensive right now…”

He offers up little resistance to your suggestion and ends up dragging a couple of chairs into your living room from the kitchen. You dig around in your closet and pull out a heavy winter blanket, the ones with a giant tiger imprinted on the front. It’s been stored away for quite some time, leaving bits of dust and other mysterious remnants in the air as you straighten the fabric out. Hopefully Rin’s not sensitive to dust mites.

One side of the blanket is stretched around the edge of the couch and tucked beneath the cushions. Another corner is wrapped and fastened clumsily around a chair. It hangs over the edge of the coffee table and is held in place by the second chair in the corresponding corner. The overall impression is ridiculous, but there's a decent space on the floor in front of the sofa.

“That’s a bit better,” you decide, with a faint laugh.

You’re pressed close to one another, and you have to admit that it’s intimate in a way that you didn’t expect. The air is a little warm, heavy with their breath and the faint heat from the candles. It’s… nice. Outside, the wind is howling, but it is fainter, partially obscured by the blanket barrier that keeps the outside world away.

You decide to stream a horror movie to pass the time, until the weather subsides a bit. You’ll probably go over your data plan for the month, but right now, you don’t really care. You prop the phone up against one of Rin’s textbooks that he didn’t get the chance to go over today, and end up watching a really shitty slasher movie from the 80’s.

At some point, you doze off, leaning in and head tipping to tentatively rest on his shoulder. It’s not the most comfortable position. You’re both slouched back against the couch, pillow wedged under your backs. Your phone eventually runs dead, and the candles burn into nothing—smoldering and smoking as they sputter out.

“Hey,” Rin faintly calls out your name. “It’s getting late.”

You stir in your sleep, finding the strength to open your eyes and tilt your head up. You’re sure that your heart is going to stop beating when he takes notice. The look on your face must’ve been a good one, because now Rin’s six shades of red deeper and he’s got his hand over his mouth.

“Oh god, I’m sorry, Itoshi!”

“It’s… okay,” his voice is low, sounding almost uncertain. “Rin is also fine.”

You fail to notice his fingers making their way past your forearm, past your neck, until you feel them settle on your warm cheek. Shivers course through your body, and the resulting sounds you release is halfway between a sigh and a whimper. His eyes are half-lidded, glazed, and you’re positive yours are no different.

“Sorry, Rin…” you’re apologizing again, his name sounds foreign on your tongue but feels like home all at the same time. Your voice begins to trail off. You can’t finish, your eyes are already closed, head tilted. As you breathe, with your heart rattling in your throat, you feel Rin lean in close.

As soon as you collide into him, his lips meld against yours.

It’s funny how life works. Some days seem to drag, impossibly slow, especially when you’re trapped in your own mind — replaying everything, obsessing over every single action you’ve done wrong in your life. There are days where you barely get out of bed until it’s time for classes or to get ready for work, where you just go through the motions.

Other days, they fly by in the blink of an eye. Sometimes it’s because you hole yourself up at the library, nose glued to your textbooks, and body running on adrenaline. Other times, it’s because you keep replaying that kiss you gave Rin, wondering what it means, or if it just means nothing at all. You remember being roped in by the shy, tentative edge in his voice that reminded you when you first met him at the shop, where you first had been infatuated.

Rin hasn’t spoken to you since that night at your apartment. On one hand, while you’re worried that you might’ve said something out of line, and maybe that kiss came off too strong. Which, of course it fucking came off too strong. You kissed your best friend’s brother, and that just spells disaster on its own. Although, on the other hand, you’re glad that you guys are on a first name basis.

That’s fine. Rin seems to be going through a lot and the best professional way to handle this situation is to be… professional. Everything is all too much, and you've decided that you need to take a break.

That night, you’ve made a quick trip home after work to stay at your family’s. You don’t have time to mull over a certain junior of yours, not when you have your own things to take care of.

Your parents’ are currently on their anniversary date, leaving behind your two younger siblings all by themselves. You think two eight year olds could handle themselves just fine for a few hours but, then again, kids these days are just built differently.

You ended up ordering takeout and made them sit through a painstakingly long foreign film. Subtitles always put kids to sleep faster, you’ve learned. After carrying them to bed, you decide to spend the rest of your night sitting outside on the patio and wait for the return of your parents.

The skies are always clearer in the suburbs compared to the bustling city lights that pollute everywhere else. You sit down on a small plastic chair, one belonging to your siblings, and spend a good few minutes appreciating the twinkling stars and the raw smell of the countryside. You fix your gaze out in the distance, at the same hills and mountains the sprawling city overlooks.

Feeling inspired, you fish out your phone and decide to send Sae a quick picture of the surroundings with the caption ‘miss you loser :P’. It’s a small mini-game that you two started a year back, sending each other photos whenever away from campus, even though it’s mainly you sending the photos and he sends back middle finger emojis.

Though, as soon as you hit the send button, dread immediately fills your gut.

“Wait, shit, shit—wrong brother!”

Your heart hammers against your chest as you stare at the now seemingly flirty caption and, dear lord, your reputation might as well be down the gutters. This will go down as probably the most embarrassing moments of your life, and what makes things even worse is that you know Rin has seen it because three gray dots are now jumping up and down in the chat log.

God, what are you even supposed to say to that?

[Sae’s Brother!!!]: I’m sorry?

When you receive the responding text, you feel yourself losing ten years off your lifespan. You bury your face into your hands and whine, loudly.

This incident on top of whatever the hell happened during the night of the storm… Rin probably thinks you’re a creep for doing this. You can already imagine how it’ll play out: Rin tells Sae that you’re harassing him, Sae stops being your friend, and you’ll probably have to drop out and move out of the country. Rin might never even show himself to you again, and that thought alone makes your throat tighten up.

However, before you can descend into further madness, if that’s even possible, your phone vibrates again. You swallow the needles in your throat and peek through the cracks between your fingers.

[Sae’s Brother!!!]: Looks nice.

And, to your surprise, there��s an image attached to the text. It’s a dim photo of his opened textbook, a filled in study guide sheet beside his laptop, and on the right side of his desk is a drink from the cafe. You want to make a dumb oolong tea joke, but now you feel bad for disrupting his study session.

Then, another notification comes through.

[Sae’s Brother!!!]: Miss you too. :P

Your heart promptly multiplies into a thousand pieces. You lean into the chair, almost tipping yourself over. Your heart’s beating so hard that you can practically feel it pulse against your temples. Taking deep breaths, you don’t look at your phone until the urge to run away fades.

It feels like you're dreaming, and you know it’s absolutely stupid and silly, that you feel like you’re floating right into a dumb romance drama right now, but you can’t help it. Not when Rin is pulling stunts like this. He probably meant it as a joke, maybe only responded back to mirror you, who knows. But someone like him should not have the power to be so, so adorable under all that hard exterior. That’s just illegal…

“God,” your breath shudders out and you thumb over the keyboard to respond back.

[You]: didn’t mean to send that to you haha… ;; [You]: but i take it that studying is going well??

Rin replies back within seconds.

[Sae’s Brother!!!]: I know. [Sae’s Brother!!!]: Studying’s been fine. Might need to look over something when we meet up again, if that’s okay. [You]: of course!! just lemme know what day works :)

Rin sends you a thumbs up emoji and you don’t get a response for a while after that, figuring that he probably went back to work. It doesn’t matter anyway, because it feels like a hundred pounds just got lifted from your shoulders and you feel so light that you’re convinced that you can see the stars even clearer now.

Thank the heavens he didn’t make it weirder than it already was.

Fuzzy-brained, you decide that it might be best to call it a night and retreat back into the house and towards your old bedroom. Even while laying down on your plush mattress, curled up, with the aircon on blast, you couldn’t fall asleep — at least, not for a long while.

By the time you pass out, it’s from sheer exhaustion and adrenaline rush. Your phone remains gripped against your chest as you sleep, and you end up missing another message from Rin late in the night.

[Sae’s Brother!!!]: Your manager doesn’t make good oolong. Come back soon.

There are several moments when you tell yourself you need to take a couple steps back. That you really, really need to calm down about Itoshi Rin.

The rest of the week comes and goes. You haven’t seen Rin in a few days. You guys sorta text, with him giving you curt updates on his assignments, but Rin goes long periods of time without replying. And, when he does reply, even though it’s just a text on screen, you get a distinct idea that he’s probably tired. So most of the time you end up lounging around at Sae’s apartment, busying yourself with your own assignments and bothering Sae about the end of the year assessment. And maybe you mope to him about his younger brother. Just a little bit.

“Does Rin hate me?”

“Why do you ask?” You could practically hear the eye roll in his response.

You feel a bit juvenile when you explain the reasoning, it’s obvious in your tone. “He’s, um, been kinda dry.”

“Is water dry?”

“...No?”

“Then there’s your answer,” Sae yawns and flips to the next page in whatever new psychological thriller novel he picked up. “Should feel lucky that he’s even responding back, I barely get an emoji out of him.”

Part of the fun thing about being friends with Sae is having full 24 hour access to his apartment. Whenever you’re running low on food, it doesn’t matter if it’s milk or potatoes, somehow there’s always extras at his place. The least fun thing about being friends with him is that he’s god awful at keeping up with conversations. Or, at least in this case, giving you advice on how to approach Rin appropriately.

You decide to change up the topic, slightly. Your mind’s currently running on three shots of espresso and one shitty breakfast sandwich from the dining hall, not really the best combo, and the words start flooding out. “On a different note, if someone you kinda just met shows a side of them that they’ve probably never shown to anyone, how would you react?”

Sae straightens from the couch, eyes flickering to you then back to the book. “Depends on who it is,” he shrugs. He doesn’t sound too interested in the conversation.

“Wise words, I see…” you hum in deep thought. You begin strutting around the tiny living room, circling around in front of the TV and keeping a somewhat watchful eye on Sae as you choose your next words carefully. “What if… it’s like a big thing? Super pent up for so long that they just start pouring all their emotions onto you? How would you react to that?”

“Sounds like a weird person. I would probably leave,” Sae’s voice is dismissive.

You groan, fully understanding Rin’s personal dilemma. “At least pretend to be serious right now!”

And, with that, he shuts his book and rests his cheek against his palm, sighing. “Maybe they told you because they’re afraid of talking to their close friends. Or maybe they just feel comfortable around you, I don’t know. Since you’re so caught up about this… who are you talking about?”

Shit, he caught on.

Sae hardens his gaze on you, suspicion sprawled across his sharp features.

“I—um, uh, it’s a classmate of mine! We were going over grad school applications and they seemed really lost about if they wanted to apply or not… I was just a little surprised when they started talking about their insecurities with me, that’s all. We’re a little bit closer now, though…” your voice trails off and Sae cocks his head a little, pursing his lips, but decides to leave the topic be.

“Right, well… how are Rin’s studies coming along?” Sae asks after a long pause and backs out of your space.

It’s not like Rin’s doing terribly at his studies. He’s picking up some of the methods and variables faster than most people in your department, perhaps even learning at a faster pace than yourself. Though, and this is just an observation, you’ve noticed that Rin rarely takes notes in his classes. When he does, well, it’s sloppy and unfocused. You’re starting to worry, since his midterm is rounding the corner, and you’ve been itching to ask if he remembers the material or if he doesn’t care. You want to, really, but it’s technically not your job to look after him full-time.

Unless it totally has something to do with the weird family dynamic that you can never really nail down? Yeah, you’re definitely not sticking your nose into that mud anytime soon. The last time you did that, well…

“He’s doing fine!” You offer up that much. It’s a little taste of honesty. Not the full truth. Somehow, you know that Sae is damn well aware of that, too.

“As long as he’s motivated, that’s all that really matters.” Sae mumbles. He drops the conversation and it’s probably a good thing, because you can’t concentrate at all.

By the end of this particular meeting, you feel like you’re going to vomit. Your stomach has jumped into your throat, and you’re struggling to keep your breakfast down. It’s way too late to call out of work, so you power through and manage to make it in time for your shift. It’s not until you arrive that you notice a familiar tuff of black hair behind the register, eyes glimmering with all flirt and talk with a female student across the counter.

Then, it hits you, if there’s one person other than Sae who can give mildly okay advice, it’s him.

When the evening rush dies down, you relay the situation back to Oliver, throwing on the crucial details—well, minus the kiss—unfortunately you can’t risk that information going out of his mouth. Unlike Sae, he shows interest from the get go, providing you live reactions and commentary as the story continues. When asked for his thoughts, Oliver covered his face and howled in laughter for a long while, getting stares from customers, before leaning in and eyes you very seriously.

“Kid’s got a massive crush on you, that’s for sure.”

Oliver is obviously a better listener compared to Sae, but also has a tendency to stretch things out for dramatic purposes. You should’ve mentally prepared yourself for this.

“Wait a sec,” Oliver sits on the countertop, despite the rules encouraging against it written on the chalkboard behind him, ponders hard for a moment, and then, “You like him!”

You almost spill a shot of espresso all over your fingers, letting out a small screech, and look up, doing a bit of a double take at your friend. “Don’t you have better jokes to make?!”

Oliver tosses you a clean towel from underneath the counter space and offers an apologetic smile, but he looks amused. “You wanted my honest opinion. Hot, young stud falls for his tutor who also works as a barista? The prompt just writes for itself.”

You swallow a gagging noise. “Please don’t ever refer to Rin as a hot, young stud… even if it is true.”

“If we want to peel back several more layers, maybe this is all part of Sae’s elaborate plan to hook you up with someone.”

“Can’t you have another family emergency again?” You like Oliver. He’s possibly your only favorite coworker out of all the other part-timers, but you’re very unimpressed with him right now. “I’m still in college. You’re acting like I’m going to be forever alone, or something.”

“While that might be true,” Oliver agrees, mildly. “I still think the kid might just be bad with… y’know, showing emotions.” He motions his hands in a heart shape near his chest. “I was like that when I was his age, too.”

“Gross, now you’re just making yourself sound like an old man.” With that beard, it sure adds a few years to his face. No wonder he’s so popular with the ladies.

“You should be more honest with yourself,” he softly chastises, offering you a blueberry muffin that he definitely stole from the back. “Life would feel a lot easier.”

“You talk as if I’m a fictional character in some stupid story,” you sigh, gracefully accepting the baked good in defeat.

There’s a part of you that feels bitter after the conversation, afraid that he’s right. You’ve been solely focusing on your academics for the most part, and that’s not to say that you haven’t had others showing interest in you.

You remembered Oliver hounding you down on your very first day at the coffee shop, trying to get your attention by making you clean up his spills, not sure why he thought that was a good idea… Another guy from your department also tried hitting asking you out by creating a fake math problem that would eventually lead to him asking for your number, but the variables were messed up and all over the place that it didn’t make any sense.

You don’t put relationships on a high pedestal, and you don’t necessarily need to be in one right now. Maintaining a steady income and keeping your scholarship should be your top priority. That, and not falling for your best friend’s brother.

Things go uneventfully for a little while longer at the shop. You and Oliver were going to put on the latest episode of the Bachelor to pass the remaining shift but, by the time you were just about to finish setting up the monitor, the front door bell chimes.

You blink. You and Oliver are in the corner tucked at the back of the store. It’s ten minutes until closing and your stomach churns wildly at the thought of another inconsiderate customer. Because if it happens to be another frat guy ordering a “secret menu” item that some person made up on TikTok again… well, you’re gonna start crying.

“I’ll go take care of it,” you sigh, fishing out the store’s keys out of your pocket. “Just tell me who the guy ends up with.”

Oliver grins as he presses the play button. “Roger that, boss.”

You hadn’t really expected to see Itoshi Rin of all people to swing by.

He barely gets any words out when you emerge to the front counter, needless to say you were the same. After a few mindless scrabbling around and awkward shifting, Rin spits out that he needs an emergency tutoring session, back at his apartment of all places. And, at some point in the night, between your mind turning into mush and Rin refusing to look you in the eyes, Oliver sends you off a little early before you have the chance to help him close.

Which ultimately leads you off here.

“So, what’s the burning question you have for me?” you ask, setting down your book bag on the floor.

Rin’s apartment is a lot minimalistic compared to yours, and more on the traditional side. His place is a bit further out of the downtown area, into the quieter parts of Tokyo, but not terribly far from the school’s public transit. Here, the buildings aren’t skyscrapers and the traffic is manageable, which means a lot more parks and greenery.

Instead of a dining table with chairs, he opted for a low coffee table and cushions instead. There’s tatami flooring, a small bookshelf in the corner with organized sports magazines, textbooks, and a few horror films. Hanging on the walls are a variety of posters; most of them are famous foreign football players and some are a few popular movie covers.

The coffee table is placed right near his bedside, so it makes a perfect back rest for you. Rin keeps a small desk lamp on, he’s mentioned to you in passing that small amounts of warm lighting helps him focus. This setup is certainly a lot more comfortable compared to yours.

Rin decides to sit next to you this time, pulling out an array of notebooks from his bag and fidgets with his pens on the table before flipping to his last pages of notes. “It’s about… torque and resistance.” He buries half of his face into his palm as his fingers trace, almost obsessively, through the notes. From one glance, his writing looks coherent enough, better from when he first started out.

“Um, yeah, sure,” you keep a close eye on him. Rin is behaving rather strangely. Restless, agitated, annoyed, or a combination of all three. Though, a minute into the small lecture, Rin softly calls out your name. “Y-Yes?” you can begin to feel your neck growing dangerously hot.

“About that night, last week…” he finally pushes the words out, but lets them hang in the air, inconclusive.

Your cheeks flare up, and you turn away, clearly embarrassed. Suddenly, you feel like a complete idiot all over again. “I—I’m sorry about that,” you stammer out, staring down at your fingers. “I don’t know what came over me, everything was so dark and—”

“You don’t need to apologize,” he consoles, quickly. “I’m glad that it happened. It was… I… it was good.”

It’s a bit of a rambling response, but it leaves you stunned and flustered, without even realizing it. You finally turn to look at him, eyes a little misty, your cheeks still warm. You’re relieved by Rin’s reply. You open your mouth to respond back, but nothing tangible comes out.

“I want it to happen again,” Rin finds himself saying, tone suddenly low and dark. He shoots you a look, one that you can’t quite interpret. It’s like he’s hovering somewhere between concern and fear that he’s pushing too far. And maybe he is, but you are too.

You let your legs slip out from underneath and you lean up against Rin’s bed. If it wasn’t there, you’d collapse for sure.

Rin follows suit but pulls away from you abruptly, and you manage to look up just in time to catch the flush in his cheeks and neck. It’s hard to see it in the dark but, if Rin’s body language is anything to go by, he’s incredibly embarrassed.

“Are you okay?” His voice is quiet, and you manage a shaky nod, but that nod is immediately followed by another involuntary sound from the back of your throat.

“I, um, should we tell…?”

You’re not entirely sure where Rin stands with his relationship with Sae, nor if both of you can predict the outcome of what would happen. Sae is still a close friend, but you can’t hide the fact that you like Rin away from him forever. Plus, would this even realistically work out? Graduate school, job interviews, things of that sort aren’t in Rin’s horizons, but…

“We don’t have to do anything right now,” he seems to catch on and clears his throat, looking away. “I just wanted to make my feelings clear.”

You briefly think back to Oliver’s advice earlier in the night, about being more honest with your feelings. How things will magically become easier. It’ll be unfair if you didn’t pour out your heart like Rin had done just now. But words can’t be the only way of showing your honesty.

“We can take it slowly,” you stumble out.

Screw it, maybe you can ask Sae for a favor after you’re done tutoring.

Those words seem to melt Rin’s hard exterior almost instantly. Wrapping both your arms around his neck, you press a chaste kiss to his inviting lips.

Rin doesn’t say anything else, but there’s another little teasing nudge of his shoulder bumping against yours, and it somehow communicates more than it should.

taglist: @hellothere9597 @itzmeme @scaraslover @kidd3ath @torureadz

a/n: hi again everyone... if you've made it this far - thank you ;; this piece might just be the longest fic i've ever written (to date...) and tbh im not sure if i like it ? maybe i do idk!! there were so many times i wanted to throw my laptop against the wall gaah did you know that i originally wanted sae to come in and interrupt towards the end? thank god i didnt otherwise our two main love birds wouldn't have been able to kiss... anyways, ty for reading and hopefully you'll see me around more <3 <3 ty i love you

#blue lock #doobea writing #bllk #blue lock imagines #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #itoshi rin #itoshi rin x reader #rin itoshi x reader #rin itoshi #blue lock x gn reader

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mysicklove · 7 months

Text

𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆

DAY 3: ORAL FIXATION + FACE FUCKING

With: Rin Itoshi

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Sub! Rin, reader is fem coded, gagging, lots of drool and saliva, unrealistic potrayal of oral fixations, cringey dialogue in beginning, tears, reader spits in his mouth, cumming in pants, biting

A/N: this is gross. also, i have a oral fixation and i know this is not how it works, but whatever this is fanFICTION let me live lol

Rin Itoshi has a bad mouth. Sure, his vocabulary is not too full of curse words, but by god he insults people way too much. Whats crazy about it, is he actually believes what he says, and often times you have to cover his mouth before he accidentally picks a fight with someone. He is cool and collected 90% of the time, and because of his aloof attitude, it drives people insane when they hear his rude, blunt words.

You are working on it with him, or at least trying to. Whenever he is rude to someone, you quickly scramble to apologize and reassure that he meant nothing harmful. By the end of it, he always gives you the strangest stares, wondering why you care enough to explain himself to the other person. But you were kind, and he…had other good qualities about him.

He discovered something new about himself during this time as well. You were sitting on his lap, talking to some guests at the two of yours apartment, when one of the guys teased Rin’s cold personality just a tad. Before your lovely boyfriend could bark back a probably way too passive aggressive reply, you covered his mouth with your hand, accidentally slipping one of your fingers into his mouth.

He stared at you in silence while the others gently laughed, and moved away from the conversation. He teasingly licked at the digit, and your smile widened to hide back a shiver, pretending nothing is amiss to the others. You pulled your hand away a couple seconds later, and he unconsciously followed it, blinking at you when you stared at him in confusion.

And ever since that day, Rin found himself feeling…strange. It didn't affect his day to day life, but he realized that having stuff in his mouth, made him feel strangely calm. After a quick google search, he realized he must have an oral fixation that he has not discovered until now.

He took to lollipops for a week, justifying himself to you by blaming it on his sweetooth (that he doesn't have). Once you teased him about ruining his teeth from all the sugar, and he stopped. He bit his nails for two days, and even if it did help him focus on the task at hand, it made him feel unsanitary and gross. He considered trying smoking, but his career depended on his lungs, so he threw that thought away.

Toothpicks and gum are his savior currently. With either of the two in his mouth, he finds himself less uptight, and it calmed his day to day nerves. It made him feel better all and all, and it didn't hurt him, so he was fine with his fixation.

But, ever since that day where he felt your finger in his mouth, he has been daydreaming about it. Two, or three of your digits would make his mouth completely occupied, and with them, he probably wouldn't be lost in his thoughts. It was just a passing thought in the beginning, thinking that maybe he nonchalantly ask you to put your (clean, he would specify) fingers into his mouth, but recently, the thoughts have gotten more lewd.

What would it be like to have your fingers forcefully roam his mouth while he blinks back tears from the roughness? What would it be like for you to gag him when you reach too far in his throat? Would you laugh at the noise, or would you coo at him? What would it be like for you to spit in his mouth? After that thought, he decided to never talk to you about it. He had a pride to withhold.

But you quickly noticed your boyfriends new found stress reducer. He didn't necessarily hide it, but when you ask about it, he always deflects the conversation and then gets cranky when you don't let it go. You know Rin’s ridiculous behavior by heart now, so you know he is hiding something.

So, on the one day off he has from practice, you decided to confront him on whatever the hell was going on. With gifts.

“What the fuck is this?”

You cringe, and let out a breath. You definitely shouldn't have bought that. “Uh…A pacifier?”

Rin raises his eyebrows, peering into the plastic bag with a frown on his face. “Why did you bring home a bunch of gum, butterscotch, toothpicks, are these cigarettes? Really? And a pacifier.”

You probably should have just stuck with the gum. Even the toothpicks would be pushing it. “Suprise..?” You meekishly let out, afraid of the outcome.

“This is for me?” Rin questions, setting the bag down with a sigh, and turning to you with a blank stare.

“Well one of us has an oral fixation, and its not me,” You say, watching the way your boyfriend immediately flushes red, and looks away.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “And where did you get that idea?”

You lean in closer to him, grabbing the bag with a huff. “From the weeks of you constantly having something in your mouth. After the fourth time of you pulling away from me, mid makeout session to spit out your gum, I figured something was up. And the internet is free you know.”

He peers at you, and doesn't say anything. You were right of course, but he was too embarrassed to admit it. Nor the idea of where this innocent fidgeting thing led to. “So you bought me cigarettes and a pacifier?” He accuses, tone harsher than before. It was unexpected how angry he got over something like this.

“I'm just trying to help you. What do you want me to do, stick my fingers in your mouth or something? Fuck, you dont got to be an asshole about it,” You quip back, growing annoyed at his behavior. He was being a brat for no reason, and although you did give him stupid gifts, he didn't have to be rude about it.

He glares at you, taking a step forward toward you. “Yeah? Maybe you should. Stick your fingers in my mouth, like the disgusting pervert you are.”

You bark a laugh at him. “Of course you make this sexual! Maybe I should, shows how desperate you are for a little attention,” You hiss, grabbing at his shirt and pulling you closer to you. You forcefully open his mouth and shove two of your fingers in. He gags, glaring up at you from under has lashes from the mere forcefulness.

You press the pads of your fingers to the roof of his mouth, his head tilting upward from the pressure. “Does this fucking help? Maybe I should just do this for….” You trail off, the bite in you dying down when you feel his tongue graze your finger. You begin to pull away, but he grabs onto your wrist, forcing it inside. “You really…Wow, okay,” You mumble, staring at your boyfriends now half lidded eyes.

He glances up at you, cheeks slightly flushed from embarrassment, but he would never admit that to you. Instead, he just mumbles, “Shut up.” which comes out a little garbled, making the complaint just sound cute.

You lead him to the couch, and motion for him to kneel on the carpet below. He glares at you, nipping gently on the tips of your fingers at the idea. “What? Obviously you are enjoying this way too much. So if you want my fingers in your mouth, then you can sit on the floor. You are too tall, I'll grow tired from reaching up,” You reason, fighting back the urge to roll your eyes as he continues to gnaw on your fingers in complaint.

He thinks about it for a second, and finally decides that you are right, so he takes his spot in between your legs, still holding onto your wrist like he is afraid that you are going to pull your fingers away. You pet his head, and finally relax your hand, your fingers falling limp on his tongue.

It doesnt take him long to start gently suckling on them, his tongue gently roaming around the two digits. You watch with amusement as his eyes grow heavy, and the thoughts seem to leave his brain. He looked so content like this, it was fascinating. The usual frown on his face gone, and drool beginning to bead at the corner of his lips.

“Mwove ‘em,” he demands not after long, and you bite back a laugh, knowing that his personality hasnt done a complete shift. But you abide to the command, and drag your fingers over his teeth, pressing them against the wall of his cheek, admiring how cute he looks when his lips are forcefully dragged to the side.

He takes notice to this and bites you again in warning, and this time you do laugh. “So temperamental, Rin. Thought you wanted me to move them around?”

“Dont make fwun of me.”

You hum, and use your hand to brush away his bangs. Then, you continue your exploration in his mouth, accidentally jabbing your fingers too far back, making him gag. You wince, apologizing immediately, but he doesn't say anything, gripping onto your wrists and pulling them deeper into his mouth. “Fuck Rin…This is....Kinda hot,” You murmur, cupping his cheek with one hand and plunging your other fingers deep into his mouth just to watch him gag again.

At your words his blue eyes flicker downward to his pants, and you follow them to see his hard on pressed against the fabric. You let out a breathless laugh, and put your finger to the top of his mouth again, forcing him to look up at you. His eyes are watery from the gagging, but other than that, he looks completely blissful, staring at you with hearts in his eyes. “Aw, this isn't bout your little oral fixation anymore, is it?" You taunt, narrowing your eyes at him. "You just wanna be face fucked, yeah Rin? Want me to abuse your pretty mouth until your throat is all bruised up and you are drooling all over the place?”

He gags again when your fingers travel back deeper in his mouth, but he doesn't say anything. He looks at you again, flushed in the face, and nods once, looking away immediately after. You play with his bottom lip, and grin at him. “God you're so pretty,” You praise, and he gulps, cock twitching in his pants.

Your fingers seem to travel every inch of his mouth, and his tongue follows them around, licking at them, even when you scold him to relax. Then, you begin to move your fingers in and out, and he gags with each thrust, tears dripping down his face as he forces his eyes shut. You listen to the gross sound of his throat being abused, and stare at him, completely fascinated about how hard he is right now. How something as strange as this could turn him on so much.

Suddenly, you grab his tongue and pull it out of his mouth. He winces at the harshness, and stares at you, slightly afraid of what's to come next. He feels vulnerable in this position, which he rarely feels, so he begins to squirm unconsciously. You lean forward, curling yourself over your legs and just above his face, the shadow of your frame darkening his face. “Hey Rin?” You whisper darkly, running your thumb over his tongue teasingly.

“Hmm?” He tries to hum, fists clutching onto your pants. He feels his tongue begin to dry up, and the force of your hold is uncomfortable, but he can't help but be extremely turned on. It was better than he imagined.

“Can I spit in your mouth?”

His eyes widen slightly, and his dick twitches in his pants. He takes a deep breath through his nose, and then tilts his head back, trying to open his mouth wider, but failing considering your hold on his tongue.

You grin at the action and lean forward just above his mouth, letting a glob of saliva fall from your mouth and into his. You release his tongue, and he immediately swallows, shivering at the feeling and the act of this really happening, all the while you coo at him. A couple seconds go by and he opens his mouth again, and you smile, seeing his tongue bare.

He trembles, repeating the scene in his head. Tears drip down his cheek, and drool coats his bottom lip, but he doesnt take notice to it, because all he can think about is how wet he is now.

“Oh Rin, did you soil your pants?” You laugh, and he grinds his teeth together, rushing to cover himself with his hands.

You grab his arms, forcefully pulling them to the side to see the noticeably dark spot directly above his crotch. Sure enough, Rin came from you spitting in his mouth. You feel blood rush to your groin, and you blink at him. “Oh god Rin, you fucking pervert.”

But before he could deny anything, you shove two fingers back into his mouth, and almost instinctually he begins to melt, already forgetting about the warm sticky feeling in his pants.

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cz19y · 2 months

Text

RIN ITOSHI who..

∆ Pure fluff, GN!R, romantic dynamic & mention of PRE-relationship, hint of knowing him pre Sae Event/Blue Lock, Reader is Rin's bestie, OOC[?], hint of Reader 'knowing' how to play soccer, grammar & spelling errors[? NOT proofed].

RIN is the type of person to look out for you even if he acts like an asshole.

RIN is the type of person to be extremely vulnerable and affection-hungry if you know him for long enough.

RIN who would not understand why you're still with him and has to have reassurance without miscommunication.

RIN is the type to really try for the ones important for him.

RIN is the type of person who'd be in a 4 hour call at 3 AM half asleep talking to you.

RIN, the touch starved boy who'll eat up any type of affection you offer him behind closed doors.

RIN who'll get butterflies easily when you compliment him.

RIN is the type to make doodles of his beloved best friend and crush in his math worksheet and forget that the teacher has to correct it.

RIN that used to give a small grin when he saw you in the bleachers waiting for him to walk home together.

RIN who'll help you in English if you ask plead for long enough.

RIN is the type to tease you.

RIN, the one who takes time to approach any type of affection but gives you head pats.

RIN is the type of person to feel extremely lucky to have someone like you by his side.

RIN, the type of person who'll look at something dumb and think of you.

RIN who thinks of you when listening to a song.

RIN who acts grumpy and angry but loves your fingers soothing his hair.

RIN that would allow himself to lower his guard on you.

RIN that'll ditch other people for you.

RIN is the type to not go easy on a 1v1 even if you're bad at soccer.

RIN who rolls his eyes when you tease his hand writing.

RIN is the type to give quiet compliments when you do something you're passionate of.

RIN who's a great person to have deep philosophy talks.

RIN who looks like a kid sitting at the table while waiting for you to finish cooking because he doesn't know how to.

RIN is the type to like dates in beautiful, quiet places such as the aquarium or a late stroll at the beach.

RIN that'll take you to ice skating just to make an excuse to hold you close if you fall.

RIN is the type to sleep soundly tucked beside your chest — covered in layers of sheets to shield him from the cold winter air and listen to your heartbeat.

RIN is the type to attach you and you only as his first contact in every social platform he has.

RIN who regulates his tongue when you're around.

RIN is the type to join you quietly in activities.

RIN is the type to walk away mid "conversation" with other people when he spots you.

RIN that loves the sigh of your peaceful slumber.

RIN is the type to act uninterested when you start to blab about how good looking he is.

RIN that'll dedicate poems but throws them in the trash.

RIN who lets you join him in his midnight strolls.

RIN, the one to not dare lose you in his sigh when in a crowded place.

RIN is the type to play horror games with you.

RIN, the boy that's grateful you're his.

#rinrin my fav boy <3 #bllk #blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #rin x reader #bllk rin #itoshi rin #rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi rin x reader #x gn reader #gn reader

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pppeachyyys · 1 year

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the hassle i love

itoshi rin doesn't want you to go for anyone else but him.

badboy! itoshi rin, mention of blood / violence, comfort, confessions (?), gn reader

itoshi rin was not one to be a rowdy teenage boy.

at least that’s what everyone in his school thought. ‘he was the complete opposite of those kind of people’, they claimed. he was a quiet and gentle student, the kind that girls would swoon over for being so mysterious.

but deep behind that facade, you would know what he truly was like. itoshi rin was indeed a rowdy teenage boy that loved soccer and horror more than anything else. he got into fights every other day and won every single encounter he’s gotten into. he has a sour mouth, spitting words that only those with a cold heart could say.

itoshi rin was the complete opposite of a quiet and gentle student.

yet somehow, the way he would be careful with his words around you was different compared to the insults he threw at his blue lock teammates. he would always look out for you (claiming it was just for his own good) and almost look at you differently.

“that burns.” rin hissed the moment the antibacterial wipe made contact with his wounded skin, once porcelain and clean. you rolled your eyes in response.

“it’s your fault for doing this to yourself. why’d you even get into a fight this time ?” you complain. he averts eye contact, rather placing his gaze on the stack of bandages and gauzes.

sweat is still remnant on his forehead, black hair frizzled and messier than normal. his lashes bat up and down, giving you a glimpse of his jewel-green irises.

he mumbles something to himself that you cannot discern. choosing to ignore him, you secretly rip open a hello kitty plaster while he’s looking away and lean closer to his face, aiming at the cut under his turquoise eyes. your whole body is shifted from your chair to his, legs grazing against each other and arms touching.

that’s when rin comes to realize that you were awfully close to him this time. your hands cold against his warm cheeks, eyes concentrated on his cut. he quickly decides to himself that now would be perfect to tell you with no warning.

“it’s cause some dude was talking about you.”

you stop for a moment which signals for him to continue talking. “he was talking about how he was gonna try and get your number from a friend…” his eyes slowly move from the table to your own e/c eyes. “... and he just kept on going on and on, saying you were probably easy and all that bullshit. so of course i had to tell him otherwise.”

he huffs. “i hate when guys assume that stuff about you. it’s like they think they can just take you like that. makes me annoyed.”

had to tell him otherwise. makes me annoyed.

rins words go through your brain and you blink. once, twice. you’re quick to slap the bandage onto his face with a flustered look, clearly catching him off guard. now it’s his turn to blick once. twice.

“what is that even supposed to mean ?! also, as much as i appreciate you looking out for me, i would rather you not get into fights every other day.” you scold him and the spot you hit him in becomes a bit red.

“i can’t help it. lukewarm guys like him don’t deserve anything. plus they don’t even go to our school so it’s more of a reason to beat him up.” you roll your eyes at his words and stay quiet.

he places a hand on the plaster, running a finger over the material. “am i a lukewarm guy, y/n ?” rin asks quietly, almost like he is scared to ask you such a question.

you aren’t sure how to react. he looks more fragile than normal. the way you had such a hold onto him, making him so weak at the sight of just you. turquoise eyes are laced with yearning. “you’re anything but a lukewarm guy rin.” you say.

“do you prefer guys like him then ?”

his words are cautious. you look straight back at him. it’s the first time you’ve seen him so vulnerable and you can’t help but yearn for it more.

you’re quick to nervously place your hand against his cheek and he leans towards it in an instant, sighing. “nope. i prefer guys like you actually.”

there’s a sudden flash inside rins eyes. “actually it’s more like i just prefer you, even if cleaning you up is a hassle sometimes. you’re my favorite, rin.” you say with a smile, praying he wouldn’t shake you off or ignore you after hearing your words.

“your heartbeat.”

“huh ?”

suddenly rin presses his lips against the pulse of your wrist. without another word, he kisses the spot with such gentleness, catching you off guard.

“your heartbeat is just like mine right now.” he then takes your hand and places it to his chest. you can feel the quickening of his heart, rapidly beating against the warmth of his body. his whole face is flushed cutely.

you attempt to not stammer over your words but the way he looks up to you was too hard to resist. his ears were burning red and you swore that your pulse was synced with his from how fast it was beating. you whisper. “rin…”.

“there’s a reason why i can’t stand when other people want you. i want you to only treat me like this. so don’t go to other guys, y/n.”

he wraps his arms around your waist, the grip strong as though it refused to let you go. the whole room smells like rin (or was it because you were so close to him?) and your head is spinning with what you were supposed to say.

“well… it’s not like i’ll ever treat anyone else like this. you yourself is too much of a hassle anyway.” you reply. slowly, a smile grows on your face.

“but you’re my hassle to deal with.”

sure, itoshi rin could be considered a bad boy. but he would always be the best for you.

#blue lock x reader #blue lock fluff #blue lock #bllk #bllk imagines #blue lock oneshots #bllk x y/n #bllk x you #blue lock x you #rin itoshi #itoshi rin #itoshi rin x reader #gn reader #itoshi rin x you #itoshi rin x y/n #fanfic #fanfiction

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gatitties · 8 months

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Hi :D

I was wondering if you would make a tokyo revengers scenarios about bonten Mikey,Koko, Sanzu and Rindou if they had a S/O who showed love through touch? Pretty please!!!

^_^

(Ps love ur work <3)

─Bonten!Mikey, Koko, Sanzu & Rindou x reader

─Summary: you are a person of physical touch as a sign of affection, that's all!

─Warnings: slight mention of drugs, maybe a little angst with sanzu¿

aww ty and sure! this is so cute 🫣

"Not now."

Mikey's firm voice made you step back with a grimace, you had tried to wrap your arms around his waist in an attempt at a hug, but he wasn't such a fan of physical affection, at least not during a meeting with his executives, he would always be more emotional in private.

His eyes glanced at your hunched figure in the side chair. You stopped paying attention to the meeting, doodling on the paper on the table with a pout, Mikey rolled his eyes at your silent complaints, you were a spoiled brat, that's for sure.

You looked up from the paper when you felt a slightly warmer part of your thigh, you exchanged glances with him who had something similar to a hidden smile, his hand rested on you so that you would stop the childish attitude when he couldn't get your hugs now, you settled yourself enough to last another hour listening to the boys even though you had nothing to do with it, you were only there because you were hoping to bury your face in mikey's chest.

"You're too impatient."

"You also get impatient if you don't have your taiyakis when you order them."

You pressed your arms over his abdomen, once out of the public eye you were really clingy considering you couldn't show your affection all the time, Mikey didn't care much, he would let you be on top of him as long as you didn't bother him too much, you usually fall asleep while he finishes some things at his desk and on the nights he can't sleep ─almost all of them─ he caresses your head while you imprison him with your body in a strange hold worthy of wrestling.

He is not a lover of physical contact but at the same time he enjoys it, sometimes he ends up lost in his deepest thoughts, his nightmares, his life decisions, all the shit he has behind him and everything he is doing now, how he came at this point in his life… he always thinks that he should just disappear, erase everything he did or try to change it even though he knows it's too late, but then he feels your arms on his shoulders, your body resting next to his.

"Hey, it's not worth it if I'm the only one who hugs you, you have to do it too!"

His body moved only because you were the one who placed his hands on your waist, he sighed, recognizing your scent as he approached your body, resting his head on the curve of your shoulder, at least, these small moments brought him back to earth, back in your arms, away from all those dark thoughts about his life, whether past or future, he was able to find some comfort in your way of showing affection.

Kokonoi is a busy man, being in one of the most wanted mafias in Japan also doesn't leave him room for a schedule with many vacations or breaks, but you always seem to know when to show up to be on top of him like a tick, wanting to just stay in touch for pure pleasure and what could he do? Despite not being the most interested in love in a physical way, it wasn't that bad.

"Oh, there you are, I knew you had a break."

"Are you looking at my schedules? That's harassment, honey."

"Oh… then I'll just look for another person to give all my love and affection to since you don't want it."

You smiled shamelessly pretending to be angry at his accusations, Koko denied seeing your silly game, he approached you knowing what you had come to do just now that he had a small pause, when you felt his hands on your shoulders you immediately turned around with the widest smile, crushing him in a hug.

"I've missed you."

"It's only been two hours since the previous break."

"Too much time! You were supposed to have a day off and you promised me we would cuddle all day and do nothing else."

He sighed, knowing that he had promised but that due to some problems he couldn't keep his promise, he patted you as he watched as Mochizuki and Ran approached the room to resume the matter they were handling, a grimace on your face from the sudden lack of contact, you knew that Koko didn't like that honeyed side of him to be seen and you respected it because he had a 'tough guy' image to maintain for Bonten.

It was unusual for you to show your affection when he was with the other executives, but you didn't mind, because when you blended into the busy streets pretending to be normal people with an average life, you could hold his hand again while pressing your palm against his several times like a heart pumping blood, it was your demonstration so that Kokonoi knew that you were there, that you would always be there despite everything, he will respond by tightening his grip a couple of times.

"Welcome back, Koko."

Despite the sleep that creeps through your body, you manage to stay awake until he arrives after a long day. Koko can only smile as he shakes his head when sees that as soon as he opens the door of the house you are waiting for him with open arms waiting for a hug. On the way back, knowing that you are more asleep than awake, he takes the opportunity to take you to bed, letting you hug a pillow with his aroma while he ends the day with a hot shower, lying on the bed immediately, waiting for you to get rid of the pillow to surround him with your arms.

Sanzu loves every time your skin is in contact with his, every caress, every hug… he doesn't care about the public, they can watch how you like to show your love for him, at the same time he likes to show that no one should get involved with you.

"Sit here."

He will always ask you to sit next to him, you like to have your arms intertwined, your head resting on his shoulder while you both dissociate from the reality in which you are thanks to the mutual touch, while the conversation becomes a dull noise, all the people at the brothel disappeared from your vision and you only focused on your partner.

While you were enjoying just spending time like that with Sanzu, he was on another kind of trip, not especially tranquility, that is, perhaps self-induced tranquility due to the last pill he had taken, at this moment the whole scene was distant, the muffled voices came and went just like his thoughts, but what he liked most was seeing your face deformed due to the optical effect of the drugs and the heat that your body gave off against his.

Of course, you didn't notice his state until you saw that he was laughing a lot as he leaned his head against yours, almost letting his full weight put you in an uncomfortable position. You enjoyed that Sanzu was just as clingy as you, but you wanted him to do it by his own act and not by consuming narcotics.

"Hey, hey, focus, I'm going to take you home and we're going to get you back to normal."

"But I'm normal now, I'm enjoying your company and your hugs!"

His giggle and his grip on you made you frown, as much as you didn't like it you removed his hands from your waist, standing up as you tried to keep his hands from snaking back up your body to trap you in your seat, you had had many arguments with Sanzu because of this, you had tried to get him to leave that world but you were not his psychologist, at least you asked him not to do it when he was with you.

"Come on, let's go, thanks for everything."

You said goodbye to the Haitani brothers, who had been the ones who planned the night in one of their brothels, dragging Sanzu with a frown, he was muttering apologies here and there while trying to kiss you on the cheeks, and no matter how much you loved that loving side, you felt that he was not sincere, you ended up sleeping on the couch, refusing to hug him in that state.

"Honey… love… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

And the next morning you woke up with a Sanzu curled up next to you ─almost falling off the couch─ murmuring into your shoulder that he would make up for his mistakes, which usually ends with him spending a day exclusively with you smothering him to death with affection so he'll forget consuming things dangerous to his health again.

He lives for your displays of affection like a puppy looking for pets, he doesn't care about the people in front of you two, they don't even have to worry that you have your hands on him all the time, and if someone dares to comment that you're too clingy, they will just get a beating afterwards.

"Then we'll do this and…" Takeomi's voice trailed off until he was silent, watching with expressionlessness as Rindou whispered to you "Can you at least pretend to be interested in what we're talking about?"

"I could, but lying is bad Takeomi."

The older one rubbed his temples, not knowing why the hell he was trying that with the youngest of the Haitani, knowing that he wouldn't get his attention now that you were there, he continued with his talk, at least the others were listening, anyway Ran got the information so he can give it to Rin later.

Rindou put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to his side as your arm went around his back, your head rested on his chest. You sighed dreamily like in a cheesy movie, but you couldn't help it. You loved showing your affection through tact and that Rin didn't find it excessive or annoying simply made you more clingy.

When you can't be in the boring meetings with him, he will be counting the hours he has left until he can see you again, burying his face in your stomach while he hugs you like a child seeking comfort, it is impossible to resist your caresses, your hands. They are warm compared to his which are colder, you already have to endure a lot at work, all you want is to get home where you can have infinite love without interruptions.

"I'm home!"

The smile quickly disappears when there is no answer, you are not home yet and he has to hold on until you return, he settles for lying in your bed and enjoying the smell you left on the pillow, he gets very impatient and moves to the living room where he can see the entrance directly, waiting like a puppy for you to return.

As soon as you walk through the door you already feel Rin's eyes on you, you let out a giggle as you see how his face lights up, despite being tired, you have enough energy to squeeze and lift Rindou in a welcoming hug, he lets you take a shower before you both end up on the couch arguing about what movie to watch, your bodies not separating at any time during that entire time.

"Ugh- hey, I can't feel my arms, can we change positions?"

"But I'm comfortable."

You laugh when you see his expression, since you were practically on top of him, crushing him, changing positions so that you were both comfortable, although the night would surely end with both of you sleeping on the floor.

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itoshiexx · 9 months

Text

make my way back (to you)

synopsis: after an argument that leaves doubts about the future of the relationship, the last thing you expected was your boyfriend rin coming to your doorstep to apologize.

pairing: itoshi rin x gn!reader | words: 1k | warnings: established relationship, hurt/comfort, fluff, making up after an argument, implied exes to lovers (?)

notes: hey guys! this fic is inspired by this list of kiss prompts, where @ode2rin chose prompts number 3, 11 and 38 for our bbg rin. i really wanted to try this out and mimi was kind enough to help by choosing some prompts <3 i dedicate this to you, mimi, hope you like it!

masterlist

“i’m sorry.”

to say you were shocked was an understatement.

out of all the things itoshi rin could ever say to you, this was the last option you would expect. after eight months of dating, you were well aware that rin was not the type of person to apologize — mostly, he would pretend nothing happened and try to move on with your life as a couple, even if that usually rubbed salt in your wounds.

though you could only endure so much of this behavior, and one day the thread finally snapped. the argument was the worst you ever had, leaving both of you with sore throats, teary eyes and doubt about the aftermath of your relationship.

so it was quite a shock to see him on a saturday night at your doorstep, all sweaty and breathing heavily as if he just ran there. you were sitting snugly in your pajamas, watching your comfort show on the tv with a tub of ice cream, trying really hard not to think if your relationship would still continue, when the doorbell rang and revealed such a sight.

“i’m sorry,” he says again, breaking you from your stupor.

“rin, what are you doing here?” you finally find your voice to ask. “i thought you said…”

“i was wrong,” he interrupts, and your jaw drops again. not only was he apologizing, but recognizing his mistakes?

he must see the incredulous look on your face, because he sighs and pinches the space between his brows with his fingers. this was way harder than it looked.

“i know what you’re thinking,” he continues, “but at the end, the answer is always the same: i love you.” your breath hitches. “i love you so much that i rather sacrifice my pride and overcome my fear of vulnerability than lose you because i can’t fucking apologize. and i’m shit at it, i know, but i’m… i’m trying. for you.”

your fingers that still hold the doorknob tremble, and you are pretty sure your eyes are welled up with unshed tears. you never thought this day would come, but here it was.

rin was trying, and that was all you ever wanted from him.

“i should have said earlier. all those times we argued and i was wrong, i… i should have said i was sorry, because i was. every time. i just didn’t— shit, i didn’t know how. i still don’t.”

he laughs a little, but it sounds strangled and full of pain. you decide you don’t like it. “maybe this is terrible, but i really hope it’s the thought that counts—”

“rin,” it’s your time to interrupt. his body goes stiff and he goes silent, gulping.

“yeah?” it’s a meek little sound. he thinks it’s a bit pathetic.

but then you lunge forward, lacing your arms around his neck. your voice is nothing but a breathy demand when you say, “kiss me.”

and rin finally feels like he can breathe again.

his left hand holds your waist tightly, as if you could disappear at any moment, and his right one cups your cheek in a loving gesture that leaves your legs trembling. then, his mouth is on yours, delicate, gentle, like you are the most precious thing he has the pleasure to hold.

he kisses you like he’s scared to let go, prodding his tongue inside your mouth wanting to commit your shape to memory, twirling through every crevice and corner he can find. he is licking your lips like a man starved, sighing with ecstasy every time they welcome him further, because rin knows you are the closest thing to paradise he will ever find and that he’s not worthy of such heaven.

and he really hopes his kiss can convey everything he can’t manage to say. that you can feel on every inch of his plump lips that they are only meant to say your name, and that his tongue only wants to feel your taste.

you do.

when you finally part, faces flushed and breaths short, the smile that adorns your face is enough to soothe any of rin’s concerns, and he can’t help the little whisper of “i love you,” that comes out of his mouth before giving yours one last peck, chaste and full of veneration.

“i love you, too,” you say, squeezing his hand in reassurance. “and i forgive you.”

rin sighs in relief, “thank god.”

your giggle is like music to his ears, and he feels his heart grow tenfold with the way you’re shining under the dim moonlight. sometimes rin believes you can not be from this earth, because only something unworldly could make him feel so full of love to the point he could barely breathe.

you step inside your apartment, bringing him with you. “let’s go to bed, shall we?” your words are slightly laced with sleepiness, and he thinks you’re adorable; so ethereal even with your slightly disheveled hair, so he only nods. together, you walk the familiar path towards your bedroom, where you lay in bed and melt in each other’s arms.

it’s a little bit like a puzzle, you think, the way you and rin fit so well. it makes you feel safe and relaxed, and there is no other place in this world you’d rather be. it’s no surprise you fall asleep so quickly.

your eyes are already closed, but he whispers nevertheless, “goodnight, baby”.

when morning comes and the sun seeps through the blindfolds, rin can feel you even before he opens his eyes. your groggily murmur his name, and then your lips touch his nose.

“not your lips.” he can hear you pouting. “mornin’, baby.”

you try again, eyes closed, trying to find his mouth by tracing his face with your nose. you kiss his cheek, his chin and even the corner of his lips until rin finally has enough.

even without seeing you, his mouth makes its way to yours easily, just like rin would always make his way back to you.

593 notes · View notes

vrmxlho · 1 year

Text

-ˏˋ ur socials as rin’s gf ˊˎ-

-`♡ ´- liked by isagi_11, 666666 and 1.9k others

yn: bless us, o god. bless our food and our drink. since you redeemed us so dearly and delivered us from evil, as you gave us a share in this food so may you give us a share in eternal life

tagged: itoshi_rin

666666: who needs a prayer book when you have user yn on insta 😍

↳ yn: i'm always saving them trees 🙏

eggod: why'd you photoshop rin's face on my body dawg 🤣

↳ yn: LMAOOO

↳ yn: you got me 😒

itoshi_rin: can't even enjoy a pink sky in peace

↳ yn: you're lucky i haven't strangled you yet

↳ itoshi_rin: when i die, they will use this as evidence to convict you

↳ yn: i'm so scared 😱

-`♡ ´- liked by karasu, mikage and 876 others

yn: my personal bag holder kinda cute

tagged: itoshi_rin

itoshi_rin: not as cute as you

↳ yn: ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

↳ itoshi_rin: that was so cringe oml

↳ yn: SHUT UP

mikage: who tfs taking your pics is my question

666666: is he bothering u bae

↳ yn: no nagi he is not 🙄

isagi_11: theres something next to u dont move

↳ itoshi_rin: kys

-`♡ ´- liked by eggod, kaisersexc and 3.1k others

itoshi_rin: my lovely

tagged: yn

yn: i am no man's property 😡😡😡

↳ itoshi_rin: ok

↳ yn: ❗❗❗

megsbachira: food <3

↳ itoshi_rin: thank you for confirming you have eyes

↳ megsbachira: yn come get yo man he's acting out again 😟

↳ yn: rin please be nice

↳ itoshi_rin: no

↳ yn: sorry megs he can't be helped 😞

-`♡ ´- liked by mikage, chigiri and 1.3k others

yn: pt 2

tagged: itoshi_rin

chigiri: wake up break up!!!!

666666: how're u letting it touch you 😧

↳ yn: IT?????

↳ itoshi_rin: you should say goodbye to ur neck nagi

↳ 666666: pls i promise that was a joke 😥

itoshi_rin: i better not see anyone else ever hold your bags

↳ yn: ofc not bby ❤️‍🩹

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baechira-is-my-love · 1 year

Text

blue lock boys when you bring home a stray kitten

hii again >_< i'm a huge cat person!!! so i wrote these headcanons about how bllk boys would react if you bought home a cute lil kitten! i would personally prefer a ragdoll/persian mixed kitten but most of the strays here are tabbies!! anyways i don't mind since i love all cats 💕💕💕

also thank you sooo much for my last post!! even tho it was my first post i received a lot of reactions <333 ilysm guys!

this includes: isagi, bachira, rin, sae

gn reader!!

Isagi:

You come home, after a harsh and tiring day of work

with a smol surprise :3

"Hey baby, I'm back home. Where are you, Yoichi?"

As soon as he enters, he sees the little kitten in your arms.

boy rlly said ":00000"

he rushes to you, taking a look at the kitten in your arms.

the kitten hissed at him obviously as a defense mechanism.

"it's okay, baby" you cooed at the tiny kitten as you held it closer to your chest.

"i found it on the streets, poor thing was roaming around, crying for food!"

you eventually get the kitten to like yoichi

you go to the store and buy lots of cat food

bath with the kitten and isagi!! <333

"interrupt my play time and i'll interrupt your breathing"

sometimes when you're not paying much attention to yoichi (cuz of ur cat) he'll try to grab ur attention

but he gets scratched instead lol

Bachira:

One day, you both were on a date to the park.

You heard some meowing nearby, and decided to go check it out.

Bachira decided to tag along with you.

There, you saw a hurt kitten

It was so thin!

So you decided to take it in! <333

Bachira ended up getting scratched 7 times, but hey! we bagged the baby!!!

on your way back, you bought some cat food <33

as soon as you got home, you both gave the kitty a bath to get it cleaned up

you both made sure to always give it lots of love and care

eventually it warmed up to u both <333

bachira would always play w it after he came back from his practice sessions!

and show it off to everyone!

Rin:

would question god

"what is that?"

would glare at the kitten

which was safely cuddling in your arms

"it's a baby cat, rinnie!" you said with a small pout.

"why would you need to bring it here?"

"it was lost on the streets! it's still a baby, rin! how can it survive alone???"

he seriously doubts if the kitten actually likes you

but no

he rong

it likes you very much!!!

in fact

it never leaves you!! you have to forcefully lock it out of the bathroom when u bath or use the washroom

and u gotta hear its sad cries :(((

but he! he's frustrated with that stupid useless animal!

he doesn't even get any attention, he's so jealous!

Sae:

one fine day, he came home from practice.

but instead of your warm hugs, he found himself face-to-face with a tiny kitten!! <3333

he looks at it quizzically.

"baby, a cat is at the doorstep. is it a stray?"

you poked your head out of the living room

and you explained how u found it so hungry at ur doorstep!

and it was so thin, the poor thing just needed some food!

so you took it in

and rushed to the grocery to buy some food for it

he seriously doubts whether you can actually take care of a living, breathing animal

turns out, he's right.

you function on half a braincell (like me)

so instead he does 90% of the job

buying food, cleaning the litter box, playing with it, giving it a good scrub, feeding it, taking it for a walk

you always try your best to help him

but alas, he shoots death glares at you

kinda opposite of what happened w rinnie

the baby gets too attached to sae

if u guys have an argument you're definitely getting scratched

after seeing sae act lovey-dovey with you, the cat eventually grows to like you

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midnight-pluto · 3 months

Text

everyone talks about how veritas ratio loves bathing with you — intimate or not — but what about afterwards?

how he would gently dry you both off with a towel and drape silk robes upon your shoulders as a way to not get cold.

the way he would allow you to push his hair back with a cute headband to do his skincare, a routine he had taught you when you had offered to do it for him on a particularly tiring day.

how he would offer to do your own skincare routine for you for the first time and would shock you on how he knew the exact steps to take while doing so; merely brushing off your shock and confusion on his extensive knowledge about your skincare routine.

“I simply enjoy studying and admiring every aspect of you, now close your eyes, alright?”

veritas who would do face masks with you and reluctantly let’s you take mirror pictures of you both, but only for your eyes to see despite you making it your new lock screen.

you who would steal his phone while he was going to get a glass of water and set up both of your lock screens to match with that silly face mask photo — his being you; yours being him.

he would sigh at the realization of what you did and chastises you but never changed it since that night.

just how lovely it would be with veritas after a bath <3

a/n: i wrote this while i was in a fluffy bath robe

#rin’s drabbles 🥂#dr ratio x gn reader #dr ratio x y/n #dr ratio x you #dr ratio x gender neutral reader #dr ratio x reader #dr. ratio x y/n #dr. ratio x you #dr. ratio x gender neutral reader #dr. ratio x gn reader #dr. ratio x reader #ratio x reader #veritas ratio x reader #veritas x reader #hsr x reader #hsr x you #hsr x y/n #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you

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earthtooz · 9 months

Text

x : AFTERGLOW :*+ﾟ it's all me, just don't go !

in which: rin doesn't realise what he has until it's gone. now that you're gone, he will do anything to get you back.

warnings: 5.2k wc, ANGST TO FLUFF, breakup, toxic relationship towards the beginning, rin is really mean to gn!reader, hopeful ending, rin is devastatingly in love and pathetic, reader and rin are adults + he's a soccer player, other characters make an appearance and are friends with reader, mentions of throwing up, mentions of food, both reader and rin cry, just listen to taylor swift's 'afterglow'.

a/n: FINALLY, THIS FIC THAT I STARTED ALL THE WAY BACK IN APRIL IS DONE. GOODNESS. i have mixed feelings towards this piece, but i cannot withhold it from the world any longer. i'm going to forget i ever wrote this and move on! this literally took three drafts to finish.

you don’t know when your relationship with itoshi rin began to crumble since it isn’t an event that can be pinpointed, not a date that can be marked in your calender, and most certainly not a reminder you can set in your phone.

your friends keep telling you that you need to think back on it, that although it hurts, it was a necessary step in healing and getting over him. the more you reflect on it, however, your heart would only shatter into more fragments, with each one piercing you with the memories of better times.

when did his expression turn sour? when did he begin looking at you with such disdain? when did he decide he didn’t need you anymore?

when did rin’s chips of insecurity wedge themselves between you?

the only memory that serves as an answer occurred at 7:00 pm one regular night. if you think hard enough, you can remember how the plush couch cushions sank under your weight, the clicks of the clock that had a second hand minutely too fast, and the sinking feeling of premonition in your gut.

the latest rin ever comes back is 6:00, and if not, he would have let you known why he wasn’t home.

so where was he? the takeout you bought for dinner is getting cold and your stomach is growing louder and more impatient by the second. you didn’t want to eat without him though since it’s something you did daily; eating together as a way of debriefing and letting go of the stress that the day brought.

after an onslaught of unanswered phone calls from you, at 7:15, rin merely texts a ‘won’t be home for a while. eat without me’, and although rin was naturally curt and straightforward, the text had a depravity of… him, somehow. either way, his message causes a swirl of emotions in your stomach; unpleasant ones that begin to grow a nauseous shade of green.

you put rin’s takeaway in the fridge regardless, sending him a quick text telling him to be safe and that you’ll see him soon.

he probably got caught up with something. you’re sure it’ll be fine.

you shouldn’t have ignored that sinking feeling of premonition. shouldn’t have pushed down the unease swirling in your stomach when shutting the door to the refrigerator before stalking over to the kitchen island with slow steps as you prepare to eat in silence. no one to keep you company except your own thoughts and the ghost of rin’s presence.

and when rin does come home almost two hours later, he stills calls your name as usual, you still go to him as usual, he greets you with a tired smile as usual, you hug him as usual, he doesn’t kiss the top of your forehead, though. you ignore it, pushing your thoughts aside because he was home. he finally came back. you’ll wake up tomorrow and this uneasy feeling will sort itself out.

except it doesn’t.

from that night onwards, rin changes. slowly, but surely, the cracks of change manifest in your relationship and through it all, you choose to cast a blind eye, plastering over it with sightless belief in your love.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

the queasy feeling in your gut never stills. it fades at times when your mind is busy with other things, but it inevitably gets drawn back into the whirlpool of concern regarding your lover- or, rather, rin.

you think you’re still in a relationship, but you don’t really know anymore. you haven’t seen him in a while. the only indication of his existence that you get are the stray bowls he leaves on the kitchen counter whenever he’s done eating, the lessening weight of his protein powder containers, and the decrease of various food items from the fridge that you restock here and there.

it feels like you’re living with a ghost.

some nights, when it gets the most lonely, your mind betrays you, completely eliminating any and all trust you had in rin.

you wonder if there’s another person. another lover that he feels more passionately for. another lover that his heart had gravitated towards, abandoning yours in the process. perhaps that is the explanation behind his absence.

but no evidence points towards that conclusion. there has been no suspicious deduction of bills from his bank statement that would suggest infidelity, his location is constantly at the sports stadium whenever you check, and there are no traces of a lover on him- not even you.

it is not totally blasphemous to assume that itoshi rin wouldn’t be engrossed in soccer to the point that he’d spend unhealthy and obsessive hours into honing his abilities, but it feels a little traitorous that he could forget about life outside of the sport. it isn’t just you he’s neglecting. his mother and father have been constantly asking when he’ll come over to spend some time together, his teammates have been asking you about rin’s whereabouts and when he’ll be free and what’s worse is that you never know how to answer every time.

it’s embarrassing to be seen as a lover that is forgettable enough for rin to dismiss, so you lie and lie and lie, telling everyone that you’ll tell them later, that he’s fine and just busy, and you lie to yourself. you tell yourself that rin will be home soon so you two can talk about it, and then everything will return to normal.

(your reflection looks through your facade, disheartened and worried.)

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“why are you late?”

you jump at the voice that greets you when you step foot in the apartment and the sight before you causes you to wonder just how tired you feel, because rin is in your apartment, where he’s meant to be, for once. not only that, but he’s leaning against the couch, adorned in loungewear and slippers, and the sight is too foreignly domestic for your comprehension.

coming home to a house with someone there feels nice.

he’s lost a little bit of muscle and fat, but his frame is still as intimidating; shoulders broad and built, just the faintest indicator into the athletic body he’s developed over the years. his hair is a little longer too.

“oh, rin, hi.” you mutter, surprise evident in your tone.

“hello.”

“since i got a promotion,” you respond simply. rin makes no move to approach you, no initiative to take your bag and put it on the couch for you. instead, he stays rooted in his position leaning against the couch, arms crossed.

the air around him feels hostile, and suddenly you’re almost afraid to speak. “and does that promotion change your work hours or something?”

(he doesn’t congratulate or celebrate your achievement.)

“i work with flexible hours now but the office is further and the commute is so bothersome.”

rin uncrosses his arms with a thoughtful hum, gaze glued to the floor, mind occupied. you approach him slowly, pulling your bag off your shoulder and setting it in the entrance near the genkan with a thud, the sound sobering to him.

when he looks back up, you don’t want to acknowledge the emptiness in his icy eyes, barren of the usual determination that defined itoshi rin. but if you knew that that day would be the beginning of the end, perhaps you would have done something about it.

when you opened your arms for him, perhaps you would have hugged him a little tighter, a little longer, strained all the stress out of his shoulders.

perhaps you would have protected him a little harder from the cruelties of his own mind; shown him that the world was not out to get him, and that there was a place for people like him in the world (people who can’t see their own value and instead, berate themselves for their waning self-worth because they cannot see the light behind them).

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“i’m going to shower,” rin declares once the moment both of you step in the safety of your shared home.

“no, you’re not! not before we talk,” you demand, hurriedly taking off your shoes so you can face him before he slips out of your grasp. the dark-haired turns to look at you with an unamused expression, the way tonight seemed to drag on obviously taking a toll on him.

“you’re gonna stop me from taking a shower, really?”

“yes because what the fuck was going on with you tonight?”

he narrows his eyes into slits, the pure intimidation that rin naturally emanates almost threatening you into submission. however, for the humiliation you’ve had to endure tonight, you won’t budge.

“i don’t understand,” rin says monotonously. you roll your eyes.

“you don’t understand? what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i don’t know what you’re getting mad over.”

“the fact that you didn’t even try to talk to me- let alone look at me, once this entire night?”

your partner looks away, crossing his arms over his chest. “that’s an exaggeration,” he huffs.

“no it’s not!” you recall the looks of pity sent your way when rin sat beside you unmoving and unresponsive to any conversation you tried to make. “would it have killed to show you some sort of interest?”

“would it kill you to not receive attention for one night?” he retaliates.

“it’s not about that-”

“really? sure feels like it. i don’t have time to shower you with all my attention, y/n, there are other things i have to do.”

there are a million things you want to say to rin, a million emotions that you have felt whilst he’s been absent, a million examples of how he’s been leaving you behind and how you’re now fed up of keeping these millions to yourself. yet, not a word leaves you, too stunned by the stranger in front of you to voice it all out.

rin, however, takes your silence as defeat and turns to leave.

“you’re being dramatic. i’m going to shower before i waste anymore time with this lukewarm conversation.”

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

the night your relationship officially fell apart is one you still remember vividly, because it only happened a few days ago.

in your memory, the night was nearing 9pm, yet rin had still not come home.

your heart takes you to him because as much as your relationship with him has caused you nothing but pain recently, you know itoshi rin. you know him because you’re soulmates and where he goes, there’s a fragment of your heart that follows.

the drive to the practice pitch is nothing but heavy. heavy with your anticipation and stress, you feel your chest constrict and tighten, especially when you pull up into the very empty parking lot.

“rin!” you shout for the fifth time and only then, does the dark-haired look up at you from where he’s doing dribbling drills. he almost trips over the ball from your interruption.

“wha- oh,” he turns away just before you can catch the roll of his eyes, the snarl of frustration (one that lovers should never bare at each other). “what do you want?”

you pause a few feet away from him, utterly gobsmacked with the attitude your partner was showing you. after driving all this way, the least you’d want is a little concern, but alas.

“it’s time to go,” you stand your ground. “i’m here to pick you up.”

“yeah, right, i’m not going home.”

“that’s ridiculous! are you not tired?”

“no.”

“rin. c’mon, that’s enough, you need to rest.”

“what the fuck do you know about being enough?” he asks.

the silence is deafening and most hurtful.

you stammer out the only response you can, “wh-what?”

he doesn’t give you anything. unrelenting, he is. rin has always been the embodiment of stubbornness served cold. not finding much productivity in his silence, you continue speaking with a wavering voice. “let’s go home. please, you shouldn’t be working yourself like this-”

“-leave me the fuck alone!” he finally comes undone. “can’t you see that i don’t have time to deal with headaches like you?”

the thread keeps unravelling.

“fucking lukewarm. i can’t deal with this right now, i don’t need you here.”

“fine,” you murmur. rin has his back turned against you and he prepares himself to kick another ball. “i’ll leave then since you don’t need me.”

when rin arrives home that night, he reasons the unease churning in his stomach on the physical exertion of practice as nothing is out of place. the apartment is as kept and tidy as it typically is, the lights are off because you’ve gone to bed, and there is a meal on the kitchen counter sealed by plastic wrap.

he won’t eat it because he’ll want to throw up otherwise, so rin tucks it neatly into the fridge, not thinking twice about the emptiness on the shelves, right where your favourite drinks are normally kept.

the athlete washes up quickly and efficiently, a good night’s rest sounding too appealing for his battered body that felt as heavy as lead.

that night, sleep takes rin and lulls him into a temporary sanctuary, protecting him from the reality that he would wake up to. because when morning comes, he will turn and find that you are not beside him like he expects you to be. your side of the bed is untouched, devoid of any warmth or indicator that you were there.

he checks the bathroom- you’re not there. he calls your name in the hallway- you don’t respond. he scans the kitchen, the study, the living room, and finds nothing but loneliness in each room. there’s no text from you indicating that you were elsewhere.

you’ll return, though. rin’s sure of it.

except you don’t, the hours pass by with rin anticipating your return, and his confidence slowly dwindles with each minute. by the time it’s been 24 hours since he last saw you, his patience runs thin. finding your contact, rin presses the ‘call’ button and is surprised that it does not go through, stopping him after only one ring when an automated voice says ‘this caller is unavailable’.

the dark-haired stares at your contact in contempt, furrowing his eyebrows when all of his following attempts receive the same treatment, but rin continues stubbornly because you couldn’t have blocked him, right?

was it because of what he said? he didn’t mean it, he didn’t mean to blow up on you like that- how is he supposed to say sorry if he can’t even reach you?

checking his private accounts on various social media, he sees that you’ve blocked him there too. running in to the master bedroom and checking the closet, half of your clothes are missing, and the bag you keep on the shelf is missing too. the bathroom lacks some of your products, your laptop and various chargers are gone from your study space, and the heaviness of your absence hits itoshi rin like a train.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

you never did come around to collect your stuff. rin finds a little bit of pain in that fact.

he feels like a ghost, haunted by the trinkets of you that remain littered around his apartment. he doesn't have the heart to throw them out, not when they're the closest thing to you he can get.

a few times rin sees you in his dreams. a few times he sees you in his nightmares, looking completely hurt and run-down by his recklessness and neglect, but most mornings he wakes up feeling emptier, no one to turn to on your side on the bed. not anymore. there’s no body to hold when he needs it most, there’s no one to keep him company whilst he eats dinner, there’s no love. not since the day you left.

you, on the other hand, find it odd to live life without a second person in the periphery. you thought rin was the one for you, you never had any thoughts about what life could be without him because you were certain that it would be him that you spent the rest of your years with, so learning to accommodate without him is gnawing you away, the little bug of loneliness festing on your newfound independence.

you’re seated on the floor of your best friend’s living room when reo texts one day, interrupting your apartment hunt.

reo: Are you still coming to my party?

you scrunch your eyebrows at the text, unknowing of where it was coming from.

y/n: not anymore. what’s up?

reo: Why not :( reo: Please it’d be so fun

y/n: don’t you know that rin and i broke up?

reo: Ok but he’s definitely not coming reo: It’s Rin, he doesn’t have a life so you’re fine. Pls say you’ll come

reo: Plus he’s been all mopey ever since so I don’t think he’s in a party mood

you dutifully ignore the last part of reo’s statement. after a little more coaxing, he finally manages to get you to agree to come, but not without a feeling of apprehension settling in your gut. still, it would be a shame to miss out on an invitation from a friend because of it.

besides, reo’s bargain of offering to buy your outfit was too tempting to let go.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“practice was rough,” bachira murmurs, flopping on the sides of the soccer field with a sigh. his sweat causes his hair and clothes to cling to his skin, and isagi takes a seat on the bench beside his best friend, tossing the dual-tone haired his water bottle.

wiping the sweat off his forehead, isagi agrees with a hum. “i know. i just want to go home.”

“i don’t know how rin does this, staying overtime and all of that.”

“he’s insane. it only got worse after his breakup and everything.”

bachira frowns, looking over to where the dark-haired in question is standing. “i feel bad for rin-rin, seems like he’s not taking it well at all.”

a beat of silence passes before bachira speaks again. “you know y/n’s coming to reo’s party this weekend?”

the black-haired wipes his mouth before setting the water bottle down. “really?”

“yeah. reo told me.”

“that’s nice, it’s been a while since we’ve seen y/n so it’d be nice to catch up.”

“i wonder if rin knows.”

“i doubt it,” isagi reassures, “he hardly goes to parties like the one reo’s throwing.”

“maybe that’s why y/n agreed in the first place.”

“probably.”

a cold voice suddenly cuts the two from their conversation “y/n’s going to reo’s party?”

isagi feels his blood cool over before looking up. there, stands itoshi rin, who has a frazzled, yet equally determined look in his eyes, one that isagi has not seen in a while (not since you left). “what? no! where did you hear that from?”

bachira laughs nervously, “you’re hearing things, rin-rin!

but they are soccer players, not actors or professional liars. “shut the fuck up, asshats. y/n’s going to reo’s party this weekend?”

the two exchange a look and their silence is the only answer rin needs.

“hold on, you’re not thinking of going, are you?” isagi asks, accepting defeat and now switching tactics.

“why wouldn’t i? my partne-” he pauses. “y/n is gonna be there.”

“yes but-”

“-you can’t stop me from going, so don’t even think about it.”

without another word, rin is gone, stalking away with a scary determination that was previously dormant.

“what did we just do?” bachira mumbles. “should we tell y/n?”

“nah.”

“agreed.”

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

you should have never come to this party.

how stupid and foolish of you, but how utterly cruel of the universe to let you hurt like this, to let the same pain that has walked all over you for the past few months return; this time ramming into you with the ferocity of a bull, knocking the air out of your lungs

“y/n!” comes the dreaded call of your name. you walk a little faster, breaking into an-almost sprint.

“y/n!”

“for fucks sake- y/n!” this cry of your name is broken, rasped and pathetic, and your chests clenches from how pained it sounds. like a howl from an injured wolf, it is broken enough for you to pity it, luring you into a trap that will inevitably end in chunks being torn from your heart, but you don’t have much left to spare, so you keep running, no matter how badly you want to give in.

except it’s not enough to deter rin, nothing ever be when there’s a goal in sight, especially one so close that he can taste it.

“y/n, please, i need to talk to-”

“-go away, rin!” you cut him off, hugging yourself tighter to shield yourself against the cold and rin’s pleas from piercing you.

“not until you listen to me!”

fury powers you, igniting you with the courage to turn around and finally face him. you don’t look him in the eye, keeping your gaze elsewhere, but he shuts up nevertheless, awestruck by finally being able to see you face-to-face after being so long away from you. all words die on his throat, withering away to nothing as his eyes slightly widen in shock.

you’re just as beautiful as the day you left; perhaps even more so.

rin wonders if your radiancy was birthed by his absence, and if the answer is ‘yes’, he might wither away on the spot.

“it’s always about you isn’t it?” you shout. “always about what you want and never about what others want. you said you wanted me to leave, so i did! what more could i possibly give?”

he gulps, utterly entranced as his heart makes itself known in his chest, racing wildly and vividly; the first indication that it was alive and hadn’t been replaced by a gaping hole in your absence. he hasn’t felt this human since you left.

“i didn’t mean for you to actually leave,” rin confesses shakily.

“well, it didn’t seem like you wanted me to stay either.”

“no, that’s not-” he falters. “it’s… not the same without you.”

you hug yourself tighter. “i don’t believe you, you’re just saying that now that there’s nobody to warm your bed.”

“no, it’s not like that- i don’t like living without you,” the athlete continues, admitting something so heavy with such airiness.

“you can’t just say that after so long. not when you’ve been living without me months before we broke up.”

there are a million and one things that rin wants to say to you, but none of them break through the whirlwind that is his thoughts, rattling around in his brain on overdrive and overwhelming him with the intensity of them all. one thing he knows for sure is that you are the single muse behind all of them, the only thing that is keeping him sane amongst the flurry of disturbances.

then, you shiver from the chilly breeze of the night, and the whirlwind is silenced into oblivion to awaken a dormant instinct of his instead. one that commands him to fulfil a duty that he’s not inclined to do anymore.

quickly, rin takes off his jacket and holds it out to you, as if expecting you to take it.

he drops it when you don’t, hope dwindling in his stomach.

swallowing weakly, he then asks “would you ever give me a second chance?”

“you’ll hurt me again,” you glance away, the street lamps highlighting the melancholy in your profile as rin observes you closely. his eyes outline the curves of your face, each divet and slope that he used to trace with his hands now out of his reach. “you take and you take, but you never give and i’m so tired of it.”

“don’t say that,” he pleads, voice barely louder than a whisper as the dark-haired takes a heavy step towards you. “you’ll break my heart.”

“i shouldn’t love you anymore, you’re bad for me.”

“then i’ll be good- i’ll become whatever you want me to be-”

“-we won’t work like that.”

“we’ll work as long as i’m yours again, just, let me fix us, i’ll do whatever it takes. i’m not giving up like this.”

the first tear makes herself known and paths the way for your downfall like a tsunami, washing away whatever you had built up during your time away from itoshi rin; the good and the bad. the hurt and the healing, all undone by a singular, stray tear. in your vision, he becomes nothing but a blur, a kaleidoscope of colours that you once loved.

a kaleidoscope of colours that you still love, much to the chagrin of your broken heart.

a hand wraps around your wrist, a warm shackle that grounds you to rin like he’s your lifeline. no matter how bad you want to push him away, something in you will always bend to him.

“don’t cry,” he pleads, voice airy and breathy. “i’m sorry, please don’t cry.”

please don’t cry because of me.

“i don’t want to be with you if it means i need to go through all of that again.” you whisper, slipping out of his grasp like sand and wiping away your own tears, rejecting his callous and prickly touch.

rin’s world dims as panic seizes his throat. “please don’t say that, you don’t mean it.”

“i do though. you left me first, don’t you know?”

“-i do.”

“and now i’m not yours to care about anymore-”

“i know, i know,” words are merely spilling out of his mouth without much purpose at this point, because he’ll do anything just to delay you leaving, to push back the possibility of you turning around and never seeing you again. why did he have to break who he loved so much?

still, he pleads for another chance, desperation shining in his eyes as pure longing fills him. you have always been too good to him, he knows, but like the tumultuous tides and their inability to stray too far from the shore, rin will come back to you with his undying devotion.

even if he thinks you should find someone better than him, that you should be adored by someone who could love you so much better, he can’t let go. to let you go is to let go the one good thing that came to him in life,

you exhale shakily. “we’ve loved each other for too long.”

“what do you mean?” he stutters, eyes widening helplessly.

“i have loved you too much for too long, rin,” you choke, “there has to be an end to us somewhere in sight- you need to accept that.”

“no,” his look of absolute devastation causes a physical recoil in your stomach. “no- not long enough, it’ll never be enough, fuck- even forever won’t be long enough, i can’t let you go like that.”

he crosses the distance between you in the blink of an eye. you can’t see him clearly under the dim light of the night, but you can feel him, so close and so overwhelming, but so cold as his hands come to grasp yours. his grip is firm, not enough to hurt, but enough for you to feel his determination.

tears dance along his lashline.

“please, tell me you’re still mine,” begs the dark-haired. rin’s tears are diamonds, in which they are precious, but they also crumble into a precious waterfall that rolls down his cheeks, tempting you towards his beautiful ruination.

words continue to tumble out of him, each one sharpened to pierce your defences. “tell me that we’ll be fine, that i’m all you want, please. i’m so fucking sorry for hurting you, but please don’t leave me.

i’ll fix us, i’ll become everything you need, i’ll be good.”

the dark-haired’s hands find their way to your face, cupping each side of your jaw with a scary gentleness; one that you’d never expect from someone as ragged as itoshi rin.

“i love you,” he declares, so raw, so full of passion that it makes you sick. the rin you know never lets his heart on his sleeve like this.

you cave. “how will you fix us?”

slowly. he’ll rebuild everything that you have given him.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

first, rin takes you out on dates again. calls you beautiful and really means it.

second, rin leaves practice at regular times, and listens when you tell him that he needs to take care of himself. because for you, he will.

third, rin picks you up from work. his practice ends a little earlier than your job, so he always goes the extra mile to be there for you at the end of the day. even if you tell him that he doesn’t need to go out of his way to do so, he’d rather see you get home safe than only receiving a mere text of confirmation.

plus, it gives rin more time with you.

fourth, rin sends you regular gifts. from bouquets, to random items that he just knows you’d like, they all get left at your door at the best times.

fifth, rin lets you set the pace. you wanted things to go slow so that you two didn’t have to force anything back in place. no point recreating something that’s in the past, you reasoned, so might as well try again.

sixth, rin takes his time in welcoming you back into his space. it’s a few months after you two have reconciled, and majority of your items are back where they belong (you poked fun at him for not being able to throw away the stuff you did leave, and he just mumbled something indecipherable, all embarrassed, before moving on). the life has been restored in his apartment, now filled with more remnants of you loitering around his space: your various chargers and laptop, your products, your clothes, they all sit beside his things like that’s where they are meant to be.

and you are back in his arms, because it is where you are meant to be (more for his sake than yours).

rin stirs awake one morning under the gentle light of the morning sun and you’re there beside him, occupying the space that he has left devastatingly empty. mattress still curved to your frame as he never dared infiltrate it, in hopes that you would return.

now that you have, you feel too warm, too familiar, too unreal that he wonders if you’re just another dream of his.

then, you stir, and press yourself closer against his chest, face to face with the heart that only beats for you.

a stray tear rolls down rin’s face; a salvation for the utter relief he feels, as well as the overwhelming amount of adoration that he stores for you. his ‘i love you’ is sweeter than the chirping of the birds outside, and certainly more meaningful as he wraps more of himself around your sleeping figure, hoping to attach all of him to all of you.

you’re home. he won’t let you leave again.

#itoshi rin x reader #rin x reader #rin itoshi x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #itoshi rin fluff #blue lock fluff #blue lock rin #itoshi x reader #blue lock itoshi rin #itoshi rin drabble #itoshi rin x gn!reader #I HATE THIS SO MUCH

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