#sad boy season 1 tk

[taralaurel]

I'm too tired to make a fancy post or cover art for it rn but.....

"No, God, Alex," he groans, "are you crazy? This is insane. People don't just fly halfway across the country to -"

"They do if they're in love."

TK needs to call 911. Because he's pretty sure he just got run over by a bus. At least, that's what it feels like in his chest. He's frozen in place for a long moment, something fractured to the core and he can't move because that'll risk a spinal injury and there's already critical damage to his heart and lungs.*

OR

TK and Carlos are barely halfway through their first official date when a familiar face shows up, revealing secrets from TK's past to the man he's only just started to get to know.

Read on AO3'

Basically, these vibes, in fic form:

(i said i was tired and then i made gifs...🤦‍♀️)

#sad boy season 1 tk #carlos-and im packing a piece-reyes #fanfiction #fanfic #ff #ao3 #911 lone star #911 ls #911 ls fanfic #tarlos #tarlos fanfic #tarlos fanfiction #emotional h/c #h/c #hurt/comfort #angst

[chaotictarlos]

Let me be your shoulder

ship: Tarlos | fandom: 911 Lone Star | author: chaotictarlos | read on ao3

Rating: General | Warnings / Tags: 4 x 05: Human Resources 4 x 05 TK strand - Freeform Carlos Reyes - Hurt/Comfort Hurt Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)Sad TK Strand 911 lone star - Freeform 911 LS Recovering Carlos Reyes Established Carlos Reyes/TK Strand Carlos Reyes Whump

Author's Note: I'm back again with another season 4 fic! This one is a missing scene fic following our favorite boy Carlos Reyes. Shoutout, again, to @kiloskywalker for being a gem and helping me with ideas.

Thank you to @detective-giggles

Hope you guys enjoy this!

---

Carlos lets out a pained noise that he tries to muffle, but he can’t. Every move makes his body ache, muscles feel like they’re on fire and his head spin.

He hates it.

He can feel TK’s eyes on him and knows he’s seconds away from jumping in and not letting Carlos make his own damn sandwich. 

TK’s eyes haven’t left him since he woke up and on any normal day, at any normal time Carlos would find it annoying - it’s still irritating, just less annoying - but he knows why TK can’t stop looking at him. It’s why he refrains from saying anything because he knows how worried and scared TK had been when he had gone missing. He knows that TK is worried that if he looks away for just a moment, Carlos is going to disappear again. 

Carlos isn’t going to, his body is too sore to venture further than the kitchen or bathroom - he definitely isn’t strong enough to take off down the street and crawl into holes anytime soon.

However, he is going to make his own sandwich and take care of himself.

He could do that and he doesn’t need TK to mother hen him.

“Carlos-”

Carlos snaps his head up and half-heartedly glares at TK. He’s sure the look doesn’t land how he wants it to.

READ ON AO3

tags: @strangefurychaos @sapphire11 @first-kanaphan @noxsoulmate @rangergurlgleek1211 @detective-giggles @tarlos-spain @lonestardust @bubblesandroses8 @thebumblecee @mooshkat @importantbailiffpaperpony

#chaotic fics #tk strand #carlos reyes #tk strand x carlos reyes #4 x 05 #4 x 05 human resources #4 x 05 fic #911 lone star #911 ls #911 lone star fic #tarlos #tarlos fic

[rosebug3]

Since the dinner scene from season 1 is being talked about again, I have to say something.

Carlos was in the wrong in that scene. And not just because he called TK 'crazy' like some people have acknowledged.

He just ambushes TK with a surprise date, fully knowing TK doesn't want that.

TK fully states that he thought they were clear on no dates, just hookups, and Carlos says yes, but it's just dinner. Just dinner... of a fancy meal he spent time making and got fancily dressed up for. It's a date, even though he fully acknowledges they agreed not to do that.

And TK still stays until the "It's a meal, not a marriage proposal" line. I get they wanted to hit right at what TK is hurt about, but Carlos knows fully well why TK is uncomfortable there.

Even without the knowledge of his addiction or the broken heart, Carlos knows TK said doesn't want to date. I get it hurts to want more but that was not the way to go about it.

I love Carlos and Tarlos, but that scene could have been something totally different. TK should never have had to apologize for not wanting to date. The word "no" has a meaning. And too many fans have tried to vilify TK cause Carlos is such a nice boy and is sad now. Get caught in angst all you want, but TK had every right to say no, and Carlos should have respected that.

Carlos is allowed to say he doesn't do the 'no strings attached' stuff. He's allowed to have his own boundaries, but he can't trample all over TK's to insist on it.

The one good thing about that scene is TK keeping his manners no matter how upset he is. And since Carlos' kidnapping, we know he keeps his manners too. Honestly one of my favorite things about both of them. 😊

#tarlos #911 lone star #911lonestar #tk strand #carlos reyes

[strandnreyes]

I got the feeling the fandom just focuses on the drama instead of the wedding™ which is just sad! So what are your thoughts on: vows? wedding kiss? possible last names? first dance and if so which song? who will be giving speeches? possible sneak off/sex moment? or a tarlos alone moment? honeymoon destination? bachelor party? what else wedding related you want to talk about! Let’s spread joy and love!

okay yes I’m all for being excited about the wedding!

vows? tears. sobbing. I’m inconsolable, my dog is inconsolable, the neighbors are getting concerned. we see TK holding a piece of paper, if he fidgets with it or his hands are shaky for one (1) second, I will be unwell <3 from what we’ve heard of Carlos’ so far, that’s already a guarantee. ALSO, if TK says anything in relation to how he was feeling in season 1, I will cry the whole hiatus over the parallel gifsets that are made

wedding kiss? TEARS. oh god I could go on a rampage about carlos getting to kiss TK in front of his family when he never thought we would have it (if TK cups Carlos’ face so we can see his ring?? BYE).

I do think they’ll just keep their last names, but I would love a hyphenated one. I don’t even care which order at this point. If they do it, I’m obsessed.

First dance????? I have no idea. I’ve seen people root for the night we met but that’s very much a breakup song so 😬 not that

We see Owen giving a speech at the rehearsal dinner which I’m excited for because of him bringing TK to Texas to meet Carlos and watching what Carlos has done for his son, yeah I’m already crying 😭 and then there’s the mystery speech giver at the reception so hmmmm

possibly sneaking off? this is the same couple that said “I do remember the fifteen minutes after we met”, right? So definitely. Those bowties had to get lost somewhere

Honeymoon? idc just put those boys somewhere warm and let me see them sun-kissed and stupidly giddy

Bachelor party? If they did one, I’m full in the joint-party camp. They have the same friend group ajdhaj so unless they’re inviting some of those 50 random people at their wedding, it has to be joint. They’re gross and in love the whole time and everyone hates them. Someone definitely brought up the idea of a cop/firefighter stripper which was promptly shut down. They’ll have their own private strip tease later

#ask

[fangirling-paradise]

This first look is giving me SO MANY emotions!

I have missed Iris and, according to the article, she's doing better than we last saw her at the end of season 1. I'm glad Michelle not being on the show means we don't lose an interesting character. I can't wait how much she's changed! Also, apparently she's become close with Tk & Carlos.

In, almost, EVERY SINGLE s4 still of Tk has seen him sad and/or stressed. It's nice to finally see him happy & smiling! The boy deserves to be happy & celebrate his engagement and upcoming nuptials.

I can't wait to see if Iris is going to be a recurring character this season or if we only see her in the first episode, when Iris' actress teased her return, & at the Tarlos wedding.

⬇️ Article ⬇️

#tk strand #ronen rubinstein #carlos reyes #rafael silva #iris blake #lyndsy fonseca #911 lone star #911 lone star season 4 #911ls #911 ls s4 #911 lone star spoilers

[tarlos-spain]

Tarlos prompts

One more week and here I am. I can't be more greatfull to @tarlosweeklyprompts for all their ideas and how they are helping me writing these little pieces.

This Week's Prompt: We get a lot of Tarlos moments in canon but there are always more we could have got. This week's prompt is Missing Moments. Create something that expands on a moment you wished we saw. Maybe it was the conversation we never got in season 1. Maybe it was the voicemail Carlos left TK when the plane was going down. Maybe it was the conversation in Push. It can be any moment you want to create - as long as it falls in line with canon.

Title: Burning Hearts

Summary: Carlos's condo is still burning behind them. Everything happened so fast he's still in shock, he's falling inside himself because his home the dream he had dreamt to live with TK, had just desapeared

They were the last ones there, the ambulances, the two fire trucks and the police had already left. Tommy and Judd had gone home and Owen had thanked Billy for the fourth time for being there and saving the lives of his son and Carlos.

Only the captain was left, but at a distance, watching them, the two of them leaning against Carlos' camaro.

"Are you guys coming home?" He had said to the boys, after all they needed a place to sleep and settle in at least for a while.

"Yes, we're coming now. Go ahead if you want dad. We'll follow in a moment." TK said without taking his eyes off Carlos.

After apologizing to him a few dozen times for what had happened, for not having a fire extinguisher upstairs, for not noticing the smell sooner, for not calling the alarm technicians or for not being a good enough cop to realize something wasn't right; Carlos had gone silent.

He knew him well, and they had only been together a short time, but TK had learned to understand the signals Carlos sent when he wasn't well. Carlos was funny, outgoing and his eyes always seemed to have a personal illumination, like a cat's in the middle of the night.

But when things went wrong, when he felt lost; when his peace of mind failed and the world came crashing down on him, like a sudden and total earthquake that opened up the ground beneath his feet, Carlos would go into the cave, as TK used to say. His boyfriend was slowly disappearing into himself, in complete silence and TK knew he was overwhelmed by his own thoughts.

Looking at him now, TK could only get an idea of everything that was moving inside his boyfriend's head. He wanted to touch him, to hug him, to tell him something, to make him feel good somehow.

But he didn't know how to put light into the deep cave that occupied Carlos' mind and he was used to it being Carlos, his father, his mother or anyone else around him to get him out of his problems.

Owen stayed in the car, he didn't want to leave them alone with the skeleton of their house still smoking behind them. It made him so sad to see that his son had no way of being completely happy for a long time. Although he had already realized that now it was Carlos who was taking it the worst and no wonder, after seeing his condo devoured by flames.

"Babe." TK said, but after a few seconds of receiving no response, he turned to Carlos.

Keep reading on AO3

#Tarlos #tarlosweeklyprompts #fire #2x12 #911 lone star fic #lonestar #911 #9 1 1 lone star #9-1-1 lone star #carlos reyes #tk strand #911 lone star #Carlos is broken #protective TK

[woffiecocoa]

Uhmm uhmm uhmm for the glass animals thing could I do like. A list BC IM SO SO INDECISIVE :0 AND if so :)

TK knife silver spoon fan suitcase paper II,

Liam and Charlie HFJONE

TK: Hard one, but I'd say Tangerine. I may be reading into this, but she wants her babies back. Whether it be Balloon and Nickel, or somebody else.

Knife: Toes. He's gruff and defensive, but he's the wisest out of the contestants. He really does wear a mask with a smile, liek dream from minecraft

Silver Spoon: Take a Slice is a song that could fit him if you take out the meaning of the lyrics and substitute it with him wanting control of his life. He really just needs something to go right, but he's indecisive. When he does decide, it can go very badly at times.

Suitcase: HOOO boy are there many sings that'd fit her. Agnes is her song. She's not the same person anymore and stress and anxiety have been building inside of her. She needs to calm down.

Paper: Mama's Gun is a song that fits him during season 1. He can't remember what he does when he switches, and it's terrifying to him. Poor guy is so anxious.

Liam: Liam wants vengeance and payback. That song that fits this is Woozy. He is determined to make Airy pay.

Charlie: home movies: rockets. He's just a little guy man just a little guy don't deserve no sad songs.

#inanimate insanity #woffie talks #hfjone

[honeybee-taskforce]

1x02 Rewatch Thoughts and Feelings

same disclaimer i’m on my phone typos and grammar errors can be invoiced to my publicist for review (its me)

-I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH what a fuckin fever dream hearing that song again

-oh wow they are grilling the hell out of him for this routine lmfao i forgot how much they tease him about all of this

-this was one of those scenes i mentioned where the emergency escalated so quick and was not what i expected it to be at all lmfao

-the aging with the bird box netflix comment zzzzzz i hate when media does this but i can overlook it here

-paul doing a thing we need another of these on season five. TWO if i may be so brave to request

-where the hell did this delivery driver even get the mercury for this now that i really think about it

-there’s some weird liberty mutual ad playing right now that has a baby talking about insurance im kind of in awe at the absurdity

-owen struggling to let go of his hair treatment goofy ass

-judd in therapy hits so hard ugh grace being there with him and he is truly trying and even has his comfort pillow for hugging because he needs something but it just isnt enough yet my heart hurts for him so much

-i forgot that grace is near sobbing when he leaves jesus christ that hurts too she loves this man so much and his pain is hers (and vice versa of course) i’m so glad that never goes away as the show goes on. Even if i could use more of it.

-michelle helping this little boy is a great foil to her introduction and i love it a lot, BUT overall i can’t find a way to care about this whole plot with Iris missing. Probably because i know it doesn’t go anywhere after this season except for the start of season 4…. I really wonder how different everything would have been had liv stayed and plot lines not adjusted accordingly. -“what the pissed off look on my fave aint enough proof” judd you teddy bear you know its not lmfao

-“he doesn’t know i’m sick” YOU NEED TO TELL HIMMMMMM

-my extended family cooks a pig just like this in a pit and everything and it tastes soooooo good

-“but just so you know i am a homosexual 😉” this whole bit is so silly and i like that they added it after a few intense back to back bits with the first emergency, michelle’s stuff, and owen’s chat with judd

-shakes ass to last night in my stillettos while these two hook up for the first and definitely not the last time

-tk give him back his damn belt you know that is not yours you rude city boy!

-carlos is all doe eye and soulmate smitten ahhhhh you cutie pie

-michelle goes to a psychic what the hell i dont remember this. BUT NOW IM REALIZING ITS THE SAME LADY WITH THE WORMS LATER ON IN THE SHOW HUHHHHH (right? Or am i losing my mind)

-spongebob movie voice: BALD BALD BALD BALD BALD

-the lady leaving herself to die in a fire because hes bald????? I know its a nightmare but wtf i forgot about all of that too 😭

-owen embracing this guy’s fantasy about the overlords but not being able to wrap his own head around his health’s reality is heartbreaking… at least he’s forced to address it once TK finds the meds

-owen and judd riding horses already getting that brotherly bond started ooooo i love them so much

-oh god first date time oh wow olay here we go CARLOS YOU'RE SO SMITTEN BUT NOWS NOT THE TIIIIME

-the boys miscommunicating for the first and certainly not the last time but its okay because it’s all a part of their story <3

-carlos calling this a hookup boy you know damn well that is not how you feel about this

-tk is so sad when he apologizes for the misunderstanding because the last thing he wants is to hurt anyone else but he can’t stop himself and it all just gets worse and worse in his eyes…. At least we know it gets better eventually. -grace helping judd count to 5 and she is so proud of him oh i love these two so goddamn much they are perfect and i need even more of them in season five

-does every episode of season 1 end with a song playing over a montage of stuff happening like did i just block that from my memory

-owen taking the first step to being more comfortable with his reality outside of the obvious therapy and treatments ugh so good.

god season one feels like a completely different show from the rest of it? Obviously the changes with casting and covid messed somethings up but i wonder how different everything would have been had the pandemic not happened and they were able to collow through on plot lines they wanted to from the beginning

#honeybeewatchforce #911 lone star rewatch 2024 #911 lone star

[baekhvuns]

HI HIIII ive been so busy these days😭 hope you are doing well miss baekhvuns<33

**warning to whoever hasnt watched bridgerton yet idk maybe another anon would read this😭

I JUST FINISHED WATCHINF BRIDGERTON S1 i am now starting on s2 JWOXKWJZ EP 1 TRULY WAS A SHOCKER I DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE SOMEONES BUTT NOT EVEN 5 MINUTES IN😭😭😭😭

ALSO I DID NOT EXPECT PEN TO BE WHISTLEDOWN I THOUGHT IT WAS RLLY GOING TK BE MADAM DELACROIX😭😭😭😭 the actress who played eloise has a very nice voice😭😭😭 shes also pretty myGOD,, also collin is a dumb bitch VERY DENSE🤨🤨🤨 HOW R U THIS BLIND

OVERALL S1 WAS VERY NICEEE AAAAA i dont regret watching it at all❤❤

ALSO OMG THE KING SOUNDS SO GOOD AND ALSO THE JAPANESE VERSIONS OF DEJA VU, TURBULENCE, TAKE ME HOME AND FIREWORKS

i can already see the tiktok edits atinys would make with the king

tiktok edits>ateez viral>ateez discography viral>ateez world domination

turbulence just sounds extra sad😭😭 AND MY BELOVED TAKE ME HOME SOUNDS SO GOOD🤩🤩

THEIR PICTURES AND PCS FROM THE ALBUM ARE SO🤩🤩🤩 I WANT TO BUY AN ALBUM BUT I HAVE NO MONEY ANYMORE😚😚

ALSO SANNIE HAS BEEN VERY QUIET🤨 seonghwa, yuyu and mingi posted pictures todayyy

PROFESSOR MINGI PICTURES ON INSTAGRAM EJKSKSJXJSJNXNSJSKKSKWKW pleek i had to reread teacher mingi fics😊😊

CAR SELFIES FROM HWA AND NOOT NOOT SELCA FROM YUYU AAAAAAAAAAA lemme just sMOOCH

rmbr when i said i filmed a dancinf video for hOURS,, IT TOOK MY FUCKING LEGS TO NOT HURT WHENEVRR I WALK 3 DAYS😭😭😭 it doesnt hurt anymore but,, i think thats a sign i should exercise more😗

HOPE URE DOING WELL, HAVE A WONDERDUL DAYYYY😘😘 stay safe and healthy!! i hope nothing is bothering u❣

-🍤

hi hello!

HI HIIII ive been so busy these days😭 hope you are doing well miss baekhvuns<33

hI HELLO NO WORRIES !! HOPE UR DOING WELL TOO SHRIMP!! <333

**warning to whoever hasnt watched bridgerton yet idk maybe another anon would read this😭

I JUST FINISHED WATCHINF BRIDGERTON S1 i am now starting on s2 JWOXKWJZ EP 1 TRULY WAS A SHOCKER I DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE SOMEONES BUTT NOT EVEN 5 MINUTES IN😭😭😭😭

LMFAOOOO FBWMFJWKHFKW I TOLD U BDBDBD BUTT LIKE TWO MINUTES IN 😭😭😭😭😭🤚🏼 it was nice a shape <3 smooth maybe it was the cgi but it was smooth, anthony skincare drop when

ALSO I DID NOT EXPECT PEN TO BE WHISTLEDOWN I THOUGHT IT WAS RLLY GOING TK BE MADAM DELACROIX😭😭😭😭 the actress who played eloise has a very nice voice😭😭😭 shes also pretty myGOD,, also collin is a dumb bitch VERY DENSE🤨🤨🤨 HOW R U THIS BLIND OVERALL S1 WAS VERY NICEEE AAAAA i dont regret watching it at all❤❤

NAURRR I MF HATE PEN I HATE HOW THE NEXT SEASON IS HERS GOD FHWKFHKS no omg i have a fat crush on eloise, aND BESTIE IS 30??? SHE LOOKS SO MF YOUNG YOUNG her voice wow 🤌🏼🤌🏼 her and her bookstore boy ☺️☺️🥰 FBWMFBKS COLIN IS SO FUCKING STUPID FJNDHF THO HE GAVE DRUGS SO ☺️☺️

ALSO OMG THE KING SOUNDS SO GOOD AND ALSO THE JAPANESE VERSIONS OF DEJA VU, TURBULENCE, TAKE ME HOME AND FIREWORKS

FBWNDHSK PLS THE KING IS RLY GOOD !!!! turbulence japanese version is straight tears for 3 mins straight 😭😭😭😭😭😭 BUT THEIR FUCKING FITS 😩😩

i can already see the tiktok edits atinys would make with the king tiktok edits>ateez viral>ateez discography viral>ateez world domination

ABSOLUTELY 100% IM ALREADY STARTING MY EDITS WITH THAT SONG FBFBFB

turbulence just sounds extra sad😭😭 AND MY BELOVED TAKE ME HOME SOUNDS SO GOOD🤩🤩

RIGHT 😭😭😭 THE JPN VER SOUNDS EXTRA SAD PLUS THE INTRO SONG??? gOD TEARS, T E A R S

THEIR PICTURES AND PCS FROM THE ALBUM ARE SO🤩🤩🤩 I WANT TO BUY AN ALBUM BUT I HAVE NO MONEY ANYMORE😚😚

NO BC THE PCS ARE SO MF HOT AND PRETTY I WOULD BUY BUT JAPANESE VERSIONS R SO EXPENSIVE 😭😭😭😭

ALSO SANNIE HAS BEEN VERY QUIET🤨 seonghwa, yuyu and mingi posted pictures todayyy

SAN SAID HE BLEACHED HIS HAIR AGAIN OFC HE’S QUIET MF 🔫

PROFESSOR MINGI PICTURES ON INSTAGRAM EJKSKSJXJSJNXNSJSKKSKWKW pleek i had to reread teacher mingi fics😊 CAR SELFIES FROM HWA AND NOOT NOOT SELCA FROM YUYU AAAAAAAAAAA lemme just sMOOCH

FBWMDBSM HEAR ME OUT MINGI AND NANAMI SAME PPL FBDNBD ATEEZ CAR SELFIES >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> hwa selfies >>>>>> NO FR SMOOCH EVERYWHERE

rmbr when i said i filmed a dancinf video for hOURS,, IT TOOK MY FUCKING LEGS TO NOT HURT WHENEVRR I WALK 3 DAYS😭😭😭 it doesnt hurt anymore but,, i think thats a sign i should exercise more😗

FBWKFHSK NAURRRR 😭😭😭 i thINK ITS A SIGN U SHOULD DANCE MORE 😭😭😭 kpop choreography >>> exercise 🤚🏼

HOPE URE DOING WELL, HAVE A WONDERDUL DAYYYY😘😘 stay safe and healthy!! i hope nothing is bothering u❣

YOU TOO BESTIE !!!! STAY SAFE AND REST UR LEGS PLS FBNDNF

#✉️ : ask #🍤 anon

[toosicktoocare]

Going to Master List my 911/911 Lone Star fics because I think I have enough to accumulate a decent list!

911

- this one here has good, ole Buck cutting his arm on a call and not realizing until he’s half naked and Eddie looks like he’s about to have a heart attack

- this one has Buck coming down with a cold after a water rescue, and whOOPS the cold gets worse because he doesn’t know how to pace himself ever and winds up with pneumonia

- this one takes place after that damn well/Eddie almost drowning episode that was dangerously close to ruining me and has Eddie ending up sick because bro’s been through a lot okay? 

- this one happens after we learn Eddie’s been fighting for sport because his boyfriend Buck hurt him realy badly. Basically, Buck finds out and he’s nOt happy about it

- this one has Buck meeting Eddie at a hospital bc Christopher’s been sick, but he finds out that Eddie’s also sick and has to take care of both his boys 

- this one has Buck feeling anxious, sad, and insecure and just overall not having a great day and boyfriend Eddie’s the only one who really picks up on it and goes to help

- this one is a little Valentine’s Day fic where Eddie and Buck have dinner plans but dinner plans end up not being dinner plans because Buck’s sick and tries to ignore it bc [cue heart eyes] Eddie

- this one has Buck getting stuck in a burning building a little too long and he gave his oxygen mask to someone else bc of cOURSE he did and he’s a little woozy and Eddie’s a lot not happy and gets him out despite his shoulder being a little not great at the moment (dislocated; his shoulder’s dislocated bc the two can’t just keep themselves together)

- this one has some Buck and Eddie sleeping quarantining together and just being too cute and it’s really not allowed

- here’s just a little, domestic Buddie where Buck’s retelling a riVETING story about his call today to Christopher, and Eddie didn’t sign up to have two children in his house tonight

- here’s a little one where Buck’s a little sick (he’s a lot sick bc he doesn’t do things halfway literally every) and he spirals a little, so he drives to Eddie’s house and Eddie looks after him bc we stan soft in this household

- (crying) this was my first 911 fic wowowow so this one has Buck throwing himself back into work once he’s back (and we just don’t fucking discuss the lawsuit bullshit okay?) and he’s pushing himself way too hard and ends up being really not okay at Eddie’s house while he’s playing games with Christopher

- this is a sequel to the fic above so my second first 911 fic lmao it’s a continuation. Eddie’s worried. Bobby’s worried. Buck’s “fine,” grown men watch cartoons-- it’s really a whole thing lmao

- this is my most recent 3-chapter child that i spent an embarrasing amount of time on and it’s set after the crossover episode and has Buck driving to Texas right after a 24-hour shift to confide in TK about his feelings he’s having (feelings of the sexual preference nature) bc as said above he really doesn’t do things halfway and of course Eddie gets involved, proving Buck’s not the only one who’s overdramatic 

911 Lone Star

- here we have a little drabble of how I imagined TK would react finding out about Owen’s diagnosis in Season 1 bc I was having feelings, okay? 

- this is just a little Valentine’s Fic in season 1 setting where TK and Carlos are striclty NOT on a date (are they doing date things? Yes, but for TK purposes, it’s not a date)

- this one is a little drabble where TK’s v upset and might be having a break down, and Carlos is there (too soft, very sharp on the cheese in this one)

- this one’s a little drabble where someone spray paints something not nice at all on TK’s locker, and TK’s all whatever shit happens about it and his Team + Carlos is NOT HAPPY (as they should be)

- this one is a little deep dive into that whole comment TK made in season 1 where everything’s gray and he just wants to feel so, in the tornado episode, he goes toward the tornado and Carlos takes care of him after

- this one has TK getting trapped on a call and Carlos pANICS bc of feeLINGS and goes in to save him and there’s some after hopsital revelations to be made

- this one’s a little role reversal where Carlos gets hurt on the job, and TK seems like he’s the last person to find out and he’s 100% not happy and is 100% going to take care of Carlos

- this one has TK thinking he picked up a small cold from Carlos so he goes about his business but gets worse and passes out while on a call bc his single brain cell is stretched a little thin

- this one is season 1 setting (catching a trend here? lmao) that has TK kind of running himself into the ground trying to be the perfect son after he learns about Owen’s diagnosis but he disregards it bc Owen is more improtant and ends up at Carlos’s house later in the night, where Carlos very quickly learns he’s not here to vibe with fever sex

- this one has Carlos working too hard to catch a dangerous man and he ends up collapsing after they finally catch him so Michelle brings him to TK, and TK’s left to deal with a feverish, tired, yet still very much on edge Carlos 

#911 fox #911 lone star #9-1-1 fox #9-1-1 lone star #buddie #tarlos #sickfic #whump #whumpfic #911 ls #fanfiction #master list #evan buckley #Eddie Diaz #tk strand #carlos reyes #bobby nash #owen strand #christopher diaz #judd ryder #9-1-1 #my writing #my 911 writing #my 911 lone star writing #i'm going to try and remember to add to this bc ya girl aint done #also ya girl is struggling with having 911 and lone star back to back #and i'm so obnoxioulsy invested into one evan buck buckley right now #so it's hard to gather the energy for lone star when Buck's getting so much screen time #but i'll try to be better about balancing #(operative word being try)

[marjansmarwani]

like I was already brave enough to let go

7.2k || Chapter 1/2 || ao3

Enzo understands that leaving New York in the wake of everything is what's best for TK, but that doesn't make it any easier. Watching his stepson pack up all his broken pieces and move across the country hurts him in ways he can't describe, mostly due to the knowledge that there will be a distance between them that has never existed before. So he takes the time to check-in, to keep track of TK. To be there for him, no matter what.

He's just starting to wish that he had picked somewhere other than Austin, because he is quickly discovering he is not built for this level of stress.

After reading @futures-tense’s Enzo fic (that everyone should read, it is phenomenal) I couldn’t get thoughts of him and his relationship with TK out of my head, so naturally I wrote this. It fits into canon evetns and this is only chapter 1 of 2, because while I so have an outline for season 2 events, this was getting long so I figured I’d at least post what I had. 

Massive thanks to @silvarafael and @justaswampdemon for all their help and support with this, you’re both the best!

-----------------

He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting when TK opened his apartment door, but the sad shell of the boy Enzo had come to love as his own wasn’t it. 

Or maybe it was, but it hurt all the same. 

“Hey kid,” he said softly, stepping carefully around him and into the apartment. He looked around the small space, taking in all the boxes haphazardly labeled and partially packed. “So, it’s true. Your mom told me but I don’t think I believed her. Never thought I’d see the day TK Strand willingly left New York for Texas, of all places.” 

“Who says it’s willingly,” he said dully as he shut the door behind Enzo. 

Enzo turned and studied him more closely, taking in the downturned eyes and anxious fingers thumbing the seam of his hoodie pocket, “Do you not want to go? Because you can stay here. I’ll talk to your mom, you can stay with us if you…” 

But TK cut him off with a shake of his head, “No,” he said, “I think I need to do this. Dad’s right, I need a fresh start. I can’t...I don’t think I can be here anymore. When I think of staying here, I don’t see a way forward. I think if I stayed here I’d…” he trailed off, but Enzo felt a chill rush through him at the implication of what TK hadn’t said. He tried to meet his eyes but TK looked away, casting his gaze downward and away from Enzo’s sympathetic eyes. 

It hurt him more than he could say to see TK like this. For all his struggles he had always been a happy kid. He had always been someone who found the joy in life where he could and he had always worn his emotions on his sleeve, for better or worse. Seeing him like this and knowing what had happened hurt Enzo in ways he couldn’t fully describe because he didn’t know the right words. All he knew for sure is that this was not the TK he had known and loved for 16 years standing before him. This was a stranger; someone he had only seen once before during a time he had hoped to never revisit. 

He hadn’t asked what happened because he knew enough and he wasn’t about to make the kid revisit it just so he could fill in some blanks. He might not know everything but he knew enough to feel hot anger course through him at the thought of someone breaking that too big heart of his. TK had always been someone who loved fully and completely, and to see that thrown back in his face so spectacularly made Enzo—a typically steady and calm man — strongly consider homicide. 

He had every confidence that Gwyn could get him out of any charges too, but he pushed that thought aside to focus on the scene before him.  

“This isn’t your fault, TK.” 

TK turned away from him, absently picking up some books from the table and dropping them into one of the boxes. “I know I didn’t make Alex cheat,” he says eventually, “but the rest of it? That is completely on me Enzo, no one else.” 

He could sense that the kid had more to say so he let him go, watching from the doorway as he listlessly picked up other odds and ends from around his apartment, tossing them into boxes without any real care as to what the labels on the side said. He knew TK would speak up when he was ready and it was only a few more minutes before he did. 

“Eight years,” he finally said, his rough voice breaking the silence of the half-packed apartment. “Eight fucking years of sobriety, all gone. And that’s all on me. It doesn’t matter what Alex did, I’m the one who made the choice. I am the one who let him have that power over me and…” he broke off, meeting Enzo’s eyes for a moment before looking away and swallowing. “I do need to leave,” he said eventually. “I don’t trust myself to stay here anymore. I don’t know if I’d survive it.” 

Enzo could feel his heart breaking for the kid. He wasn’t a kid anymore — now 26 and an adult — but in Enzo’s eyes sometimes he was still the 10-year-old who met his eyes shyly when Gwyn first introduced them, the 14-year-old who had admitted to him in a terrified whisper that he thought he might like boys, the 19-year-old who had come to him because he wanted to enroll in the fire academy and didn’t know how his mother would take it. The feeling he had now was just like the feelings he had had then. This overwhelming love and desire to protect him from everything bad in the world; from anyone that ever told him he wasn’t enough. 

And just like he had then, he stepped forward, closing the space between them to pull him into a hug. He held him close, pressing his face into his chest and placing a kiss on the top of his head. “You’re making the smart choice then,” he said evenly. “And, as much as I’ll miss you, I’m proud of you for doing what you have to do. You’ve beat this once and you’ll beat it again, I have no doubt about that.” 

He knew he wasn’t imagining it when the body in his arms sagged in relief. It made him clutch him that much tighter as he spoke again, hoping what he was about to say was a given but needing to say it anyway:  “And I will always be here for you, no matter where you live. I’m always just a phone call away, you know that, right?”

TK’s voice was muffled by the material of Enzo’s sweater, but he could still hear the tears in it clear as day, “I do.” 

“Good,” Enzo replied firmly, releasing his grip on TK and stepping back so he could meet his eyes. “Because I will be calling to check-in, that is a promise.” 

---------------

Watching him leave was bittersweet, but he believed TK when he said it was something he needed to do. He took some solace in the fact that he wouldn’t be alone. Enzo and Owen Strand may have had their differences over the years (many, many differences) but if there was one thing Enzo had never doubted it was the other man’s love for his son. He knew that TK was in good hands, but that didn’t make it any easier. 

He got confirmation they had arrived in Austin in the form of a text that included a picture of a shop selling cowboy hats that simply said, “turns out people actually do where these here. Yes, it looks as ridiculous as it sounds.” It is followed by another two days later that noted the crimes Texas has committed against pizza and though Enzo was still filled with worry, he allowed himself to smile and take it as a sign that he was healing, be it ever so slightly. 

He gave it almost a week before he called. He wanted to hear TK’s voice; to have proof that he really was okay, but he also wanted to give him time. His patience was helped by the fact that Gwyn had spoken to her son but eventually, he decided that he needed to hear from him himself.  

TK answered by the third ring, sounding out of breath. He greeted him warmly, and Enzo could hear the commotion of construction in the background. He raised an eyebrow, “What, did you decide to leave the fire department and become a contractor when I wasn’t looking?” 

This pulled a laugh out of TK and Enzo took a moment to savor the familiar sound. It felt like far too long since he’s last heard it. 

“No. Dad decided we should re-do the firehouse, to give everyone a fresh start. I figured I might as well help out. Besides,” he added with a shrug Enzo could almost hear, “demolition is the far healthier method of coping with feelings, right?” 

“When done with permission,” Enzo quipped in response. “How are you doing kid, has the pizza chased you away yet?” 

TK scoffed, “No, but it was a close thing. Honestly, I really haven’t had that much time to dwell. I’ve been helping with the demo and construction, as well as the candidate interviews and paperwork. I haven’t really taken too much time to think about anything.” 

TK said it matter of factly and Enzo almost moved past it. But he knew TK better than most. “You don’t have to punish yourself, kid,” he told him gently. “All you need to do is heal.”

“I’m not punishing myself,” TK objected, “I’m just...trying to keep busy. To distract myself.” 

TK might very well think that, but Enzo was pretty sure it wasn’t true. But he was willing to move past it, for now. 

“Tell me about the new crew,” he said instead, and smiled as TK launched into stories about a daredevil from Miami and a possible psychic from Chicago. He seemed enthusiastic and Enzo didn’t realize how good it felt to hear that until he had. It was like there was a little bit of life back in his voice and though he knew TK still had a long way to go to make this better, he was relieved to see that he was at least on the way. 

------------

For a while, everything seemed to be going great. TK called and texted him from time to time, sharing anecdotes from calls and his new crew, and each time Enzo thinks he can hear just a little bit more of his old self returning to his voice. Sure he complains about one of them, for a while, but that too seems to sort itself out. 

He could tell there is someone new in his life too, even if TK is hedgy about it at best. But Enzo was the first one to know that TK was gay at 14; he knew how to spot the signs. 

“Why won’t you tell me about him?” he asked him one day, voice light and teasing as he stuffed his papers into his bag. “Is there something horribly wrong with him?”

“No,” TK countered emphatically, “there is nothing wrong with him. Absolutely nothing,” he added, almost an unconscious mutter Enzo was not entirely sure he was supposed to hear. 

“So if there is ‘absolutely nothing’ wrong with him, why aren't you going for it?” 

There was silence on the other end as Enzo slid his bag onto his shoulder, patiently waiting the younger man out. 

“You know why,” he eventually said, voice low and sad. Enzo grimaced at how pained his voice sounded and he dropped back into his desk chair with a sigh.

“TK…” he began, but the younger man cut him off firmly. 

“No, Enzo. I...I thought I could. I thought we could have something casual and that I could handle it. But then he wanted more and I hurt him. I don’t want to do that, he doesn’t deserve it. He’s too good to get dragged into my shitshow.” 

“Have you asked him what he wants?” Enzo asked gently. 

The bark of laughter TK gave at that was sharp and harsh, “Yeah, that should go well. Definitely won’t lead to me having to explain to this guy I’ve hooked up with a handful of times all the ways I’m fucked up right now.”

Enzo sighed again, leaning back in his chair, “It won’t always be like this, T. Someday you will be ready to try again, but only if you let yourself consider the possibility. Can you at least promise me that?”

There was silence for a long stretch and Enzo was about to ask him again when TK’s voice finally responded quietly, “Yes.” 

“Good,” Enzo responded firmly, “because no matter what happened, you still deserve happiness. And someday you’ll be ready to let it in again — maybe sooner than you think.” 

The sound of acknowledgment TK made sounded skeptical at best, but Enzo would take it. He knew he was right and he knew that someday TK would realize it too. Maybe even sooner than he thought. 

------------

It’s about a week later when Enzo’s phone rings, nearly making him jump as he is pulled abruptly from his stack of midterms. It took him a few moments of shuffling blue books to even locate his phone and when he did he frowned at both the time and the name displayed on the screen. 

“Hey kid,” he said lightly as he answered the phone, “what’s up?” 

He had hoped he was overreacting, that TK was just calling him late because he was on shift and had lost track of the time. He had hoped that maybe the universe was finally giving the kid a break. 

The despair and fear so clear in TK’s voice quickly prove him wrong.  

“Hey Enzo,” he said softly, “fuck, I know it’s late and I’m sorry to bother you, but I just really needed to talk to someone.” 

“You are never a bother,” Enzo told him firmly, capping his pen and setting it down on his desk. “What’s wrong?” 

“I…” TK began before stopping, taking a deep breath and trying again, “I don’t know for sure yet, but I know something is.”

And Enzo believed him. The fear in his voice is so raw Enzo could feel every ounce of it even from a timezone away. “I’m going to need more than that, kid,” he told him gently, leaning back in his chair as he waited TK out. 

“I found something,” TK said eventually, “that I definitely wasn’t supposed to find. And it means something awful. Something I don’t know if I can handle. But it also means he doesn’t trust me,” TK continued, “and somehow that almost feels worse.”

Enzo frowned, pondering all the non-specific details in his mind. He didn’t know all that much about his stepson’s life in Austin, but he knew enough to know that while he was close to his new crew, he wasn’t close enough to be this upset by an omission from one of them. That left him with two possibilities: the mysterious man he was not seeing, or Owen. 

And Enzo knew which option was more likely and it made his heart sink. TK might not be sharing but Ezno knew both the Strand men better than most. If there was something Owen felt strongly enough to keep from his son that TK was this upset about, it wasn’t good news.

“You don’t have to tell me what it is,” he said cautiously, “but is it something about your dad?” 

There was a deep, shuddering breath before TK responded, “Yeah.” 

And Enzo shut his eyes, the hurt and fear in TK’s voice telling him all he needed to know. 

“I don’t know what this is about,” he said eventually, “and you don’t have to tell me. But I do know you, and I know whatever it is you are going to want to be there for him, because that’s who you are. Let him know that, and the rest will follow from there.” 

There was silence again, but Enzo waited TK out. He was familiar with this rhythm; when something was bothering TK he often took his time to make sure he had the words right before he spoke. Over the years Enzo had learned to wait him out knowing that he would get to his point when he was ready.  

He did a few moments later, “I do want to be there for him,” TK agreed, “I just know why he didn’t tell me. He doesn’t think I can handle it — and he’s right,” TK confessed softly, “I don’t know if I can.” 

“You can,” Ezno assured him firmly, “you can do anything you set your mind to. You always have.” 

He let his words sink in for a moment before he added, “And I would talk to your dad before you make any assumptions. Let him know he can rely on you, let him know you want to be there.” 

“You make it sound so easy,” TK said dryly, and Enzo huffed a laugh. 

“In a way it is. It’s just words. It’s the actions behind them that are hard.” 

There was silence again before TK spoke, his voice so quiet Enzo almost missed his next words, “I’m scared.” 

“It’s okay to be scared,” Enzo reminded him, “sometimes fear is the appropriate response.” 

But even as he said it, he could feel his heart breaking. He didn’t know what was going on and while he was sure he would find out soon enough, he couldn’t help but hate whatever it was. TK deserved some time to find himself, to heal and simply exist. He didn’t understand why the universe kept throwing such curveballs at him, but he wished with every fiber of his being it would stop. 

“Sometimes it is,” TK agreed in a tone that made Enzo wonder even more what this was all about. But he didn’t ask; TK would tell him when he was ready. For now he would just be here for him. Sometimes that was all he could do. 

--------------

As much as Enzo couldn’t help but worry about the younger man, sometimes the updates were a sign that things were getting better for him, slowly but surely. 

One such time came as he and Gwyn were sitting on the couch together, Enzo making a case for watching Jeopardy with Gwyn adamantly refusing. 

“No,” she said again with a firm shake of her head, “it always ends the same way.” 

He shrugged, “I can’t help that you’re too competitive, or that I’m better at it then you are,” he added, giving her a sly grin. 

“We can’t all have PhDs in history,” she said wryly, “some of us need to work for a living.” 

He opened his mouth to fire back a retort but was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. “Saved by the bell,” he said instead with a shake of his head as he dug his phone out of his pocket. He frowned when he saw the familiar name on the screen and turned it so Gwyn could see. 

“Hey T,” he said cautiously as he answered, “everything good?” 

There was a lot of noise in the background but he could hear TK’s voice clearly as he answered, “Yeah, I just had a question for you. These people don’t believe me so I need your cred as a Columbia history professor to back me up.” 

Enzo raised an eyebrow at Gwyn, who had leaned closer to hear. She bit her lip against a laugh and he shook his head fondly, “I’ll do what I can. What’s the question?” 

“Hang on,” TK said, “I’m going to put you on speaker.” There was the sound of fumbling before the background noise grew louder and TK’s voice returned. “Okay guys,” he was saying, “this is my stepdad Enzo. He’s a history professor at Columbia and if you don’t believe me maybe you’ll believe him. You want to ask him the question, Paul?” 

“Man, you didn’t need to…” 

“No, this is a point of pride now.” TK objected indignantly and Enzo glanced at Gwyn to see that she had fully pressed a hand against her mouth to stop any laughter from slipping out and giving away her eavesdropping. “Ask him,” TK prompted and there was a sigh before a new voice joined the conversation. 

“Sir, we are so sorry to bother you. TK’s just being a sore loser.” 

“Paul, right?” Enzo asked and got a sound of confirmation in return, “You don’t have to tell me that, I helped raise him.” There was an indignant noise in the background, likely from TK, but Enzo ignored it. “What’s the question?” 

“Who invented the first movie camera?” 

“Louis Le Prince,” Enzo replied without hesitation, unable to suppress a chuckle at the sound of TK’s triumphant ha! In the background. “You guys thought it was Edison, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah,” Paul admitted sheepishly and Enzo chuckled lightly.

“That’s understandable. Edison was the first person to mass market it and the first to get recognized for it, but Le Prince was actually the first. But he mysteriously disappeared in 1890, right before he was set to take a trip to the US to talk about his invention. So he never got a chance to market it.” 

There was silence for a moment before Paul spoke again, “So is there any proof Edison had him killed or…?” 

“No,” Enzo admitted, “but that is one of the theories for sure. Another is his brother did it over the family will. Either way, Edison was not the first.” 

“Huh,” Paul said thoughtfully, “that’s actually fascinating. Dude, I’m sorry for doubting you.” 

“It’s fine,” TK said evenly, “I am more than a pretty face you know.” 

There was a collective snort from the other end of the phone and Enzo glanced at Gwyn to roll his eyes. She shook her head fondly and he returned his attention to the call, “Any other burning history questions or was that it?” 

The background noise lessened as TK took the phone off speaker. “No, that’s it. Thanks, Enzo.” 

“Anytime kid,” he told him, “you know I love to flex my random history facts.” That got another laugh out of TK, but Enzo could still hear the background noise of a group in the background. The sounds of easy comradery set his mind at ease in a way not much else had since TK had left for Texas. “Why don’t you get back to your friends and I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay, thanks again.” 

“Don’t mention it. I love you kid.” 

“Love you too. Say hi to mom for me?” 

“You’ve got it.” 

With that the call was over and Enzo was left back in their silent living room, Gwyn looking at him with a soft smile. 

“He sounds happy,” she said after a moment, her voice warm but thick. He nodded. 

“He does. As much as I do hate to admit it, I think going to Austin may have the best thing for him.” 

“You just hate that Owen was right.” 

“And you don’t?” he asked her with a raised eyebrow. 

“Well that’s a given,” she quipped, leaning closer to him. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed them as she rested her head on her shoulder. “I’m just glad he’s doing better,” she said softly after a moment, “I’ve been so worried about him.” 

“Me too,” he admitted, pressing a kiss to the top of her hair. That sat in silence for a few more moments, each lost in their own thoughts before he spoke again. 

“So is that still a no to Jeopardy or…?”

She swatted at him and he grinned, ducking away from the light hit. Things seemed to have returned to their equilibrium, and that was a relief. 

He just hoped it stayed that way. 

-------------------

When he was wrested from sleep by the shrill sound of his phone ringing cutting through the late-night silence of his bedroom, Enzo groaned. He swore under his breath as he fumbled for the device, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as he did. But when he managed to grasp his phone and saw the name on the screen, all thoughts of annoyance fled his mind. Owen Strand calling him was rarely a good sign. Owen Strand calling him at 2 am promised nothing short of disaster. 

“Owen?” he said as he answered, skipping any and all attempts at pleasantries. “Is everything okay?”

He could afford to give the universe the benefit of the doubt, he decided; even if only for a moment. 

When Owen’s reply came it was in a voice Enzo didn’t recognize. It was shaky and uncertain in a way that the other man never was. 

“Enzo, hey. I’m sorry to bother you but Gwyn’s not answering her phone and…” he broke off with a shaky breath, “I really need to talk to her.” 

“She’s in Beijing,” Enzo replied, sitting up and switching on the lamp beside him. “And given the time difference, probably in a meeting.”

He heard Owen swear distantly before he felt fear rise up in him. Owen calling him at 2 in the morning looking for Gwyn and out of sorts only added up to one thing, but Enzo so hoped he was wrong. 

“Owen, did something happen to TK?” he forced himself to ask; the stress of not knowing was worse than anything else. 

He could hear Owen take another breath, deep and shaky and filled with something else Enzo couldn’t identify on a phone call from half a country away. 

“There was an...incident,” Owen said softly, voice still unsteady, “on our last call.”

Enzo’s mind was already spinning, stumbling from one horrible possibility from another. 

“There was a man with dementia who broke into his old house and a homeowner who had a cardiac event and TK broke down the door and….he was shot.” 

Enzo heard the words, he knew he did. But he couldn’t have. If he had heard them that would mean that TK had been shot and that was not something that could be true. His stepson was a firefighter. It was a profession that came with enough risks of its own. He had spent countless days worried and fearful at the thought of rescues gone wrong, of untamable flames and unstable buildings. Never once had he even entertained the thought of a bullet being a risk to watch out for. Bullets were supposed to be the problem of other people with other jobs — not his stepson, who already had so many dangers to face. 

But it was true. The fear and pain in Owen’s voice told him it was true. There was an edge of both hysteria and despair in his words and that more than anything scared Enzo more than he could say.

“Where?” was the first coherent thought he could form. 

“Just below his left shoulder” Owen repeated mechanically. “His...his lung collapsed before we were even out of the hallway. Enzo, he couldn’t breathe. He kept trying but he couldn’t and there was so much blood....” Owen trailed off and Enzo could hear the unmistakable sound of a sob in the background even as his own hands trembled and his eyes watered. 

“Is he…” he started, but he couldn’t make himself say the words. He couldn’t speak the awful possibility into existence. 

“He’s headed to surgery,” Owen replied. “I don’t know anything more than that, we only got here about 15 minutes ago. I just...I just hope it was fast enough.” 

There was silence then as the two men allowed the same fear to consume them from opposite ends of the country. Enzo felt a morbid camaraderie with the other man in that moment. In the 16 years they had known each other it was safe to say that they had never exactly gotten along. They had always been polite and cordial for the sake of Gwyn, TK, and family gatherings but they were too different in too many ways that mattered to ever truly be friends. They had only ever agreed on one thing, and now that was the thing that tied them together — loving TK.  

“You got him there as fast as you could Owen,” Enzo assured him without hesitation because there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that it wasn’t true. “You did everything you could. Any chance he has is because of you.” 

“I think the credit lays more with the paramedics,” Owen objected, “but I appreciate the effort all the same.” 

Enzo opened his mouth again, not quite sure what he was going to say but feeling the overwhelming need to say something, but he was interrupted before he got the chance to figure it out. 

There was a noise on the other end followed by the sound of shuffling as Owen attended to whatever it was. When his voice returned, it was tight. 

“That’s Gwyn on the other line, I’ve gotta take it. But listen, Enzo…”

But Enzo just shook his head, “Don’t worry about it Owen, talk to her. Just, keep me updated?” 

“Of course,” he replied without hesitation, “as soon as I know anything.” 

Then with another hurried goodbye, the call was over and Enzo was left in the dark and quiet bedroom, alone. It wasn’t long before the tears he had felt threatening began to fall in earnest as he wrapped his mind around this reality and allowed himself to dwell on it. There was a chance — a very real and terrifying chance — that they could lose TK. That Gwyn and Owen could lose the son they had brought into this world and loved for 26 years. That Enzo could lose one of the people he loved the most. The thought of TK not existing anymore was too horrible to dwell on. 

Enzo was a religious man. He had been raised by a small Jewish family in a large community and his faith had been something that he had always had. It had seen him through so much. But now, with this, he had to wonder. It didn’t make sense that TK — his wonderful, caring stepson who had dedicated his life to helping people — should have to suffer so much in such a short time on earth. It went against everything he had ever believed about putting good into the world. Why should TK — who had never done anything to hurt anyone — have to suffer so? Why should he? He didn’t want to know what life without TK looked like. 

More than anything, he hated that he might find out. 

When Gwyn called him a few minutes later he pushed his own tears aside. He murmured soft reassurances as she sobbed in a quiet corner of a Beijing office building, consumed with fear and grief a world away from her child who was slipping further and further from them with every passing moment. He gave her empty platitudes, reassured her the best he could. 

But all the while the fear was drilling a hole straight through his chest. This, he decided, was the worst fear he had ever felt. 

The worst part was there was nothing he could do but wait, and hope desperately for the best. 

----------------

The next several days were some of the longest of Enzo’s life. Each day he woke up and went about the day. Each day he kept his phone volume on, not wanting to miss any news either way. Each day an update came from Owen and each day it was the same: no change. 

He debated going out to Austin — he had been halfway through buying a ticket online half a dozen times — but each time he stopped himself. Logically he knew that being there wouldn’t change anything. He would still be waiting, he’d just be waiting there. He told himself he was needed here, that he couldn’t just pick up and go across the country with no warning. It was the end of the semester and he had students to help to finish the course or their dissertation. He told himself staying was the responsible option, but he knew that it was largely just a distraction. But he would take any distraction he could get and so he pushed the guilt of not being there to the side

He taught his classes, he went through the motions. He fielded calls from Gwyn, still stuck in China and frantic with worry. Each day he reassured her; reminded her that TK was strong, young, and healthy. Above all that, he reminded her, he was stubborn. No bullet or coma was going to take him from them before he was ready. 

Of course there was the private fear, the one he didn’t want to share, that he didn’t want to hang on anyone else. The one he was afraid to say out loud. 

It was the thought that maybe, after everything, that was exactly what he did want. That maybe this was an out and that maybe, he would take it. That maybe he didn’t want to be alive anymore. 

But that was a possibility too horrible to accept. Maybe it was selfish, but Enzo knew that even if that was the case, he wasn’t ready. He doubted he ever would be, but he certainly wasn’t now. He knew both Gwyn and Owen would agree. No time was a good time to lose your child — step or otherwise — but now, after this — after everything — was not the time. 

So he waited, and hoped. 

Time seemed to blend together and before he knew it one day had become two, which had stretched into four. Each moment passed the same way — tensely, with no news. 

He knew he had been distracted too — keeping his ringer on during class and checking in throughout his lectures and office hours. He had apologized to his classes after the second telemarketer had caused him to drop everything and lunge for his phone, citing a family emergency and word had slowly gotten around. Soon it wasn’t just him hoping for the best, but most of the Columbia history department as well. Their well wishes were touching, but nothing short of good news was going to make him feel any better. 

So when his phone did finally ring on a Thursday afternoon, 5 days after the fateful call, he picked it up with trepidation. The name on the screen sent his heart racing and he nearly dropped his phone in his haste to answer it. 

“Owen?” he asked tersely, “Any updates?”   

Because since that night they hadn’t spoken. All updates had come in the form of texts and the thought of Owen finally having something to tell him one way or the other simultaneously thrilled him and nearly froze him with fear. 

But it wasn’t Owen’s voice that answered. 

“Hey Enzo,” TK said, the sound of his voice rushing through Enzo’s body like a current of electricity. He sank back into his seat with a wobbly laugh, feeling nearly a week's worth of tension fall away as he listened to the miraculous sound of TK breathing on the other end of the phone. 

“Hey kid,” he said warmly. “You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice. How are you feeling?” 

“Okay,” he answered, “I really don’t feel too bad at all. A little sore, a little tired, but overall not bad.” 

“I hear getting shot will do that to you,” Enzo retorted drily before sighing and running a weary hand down his face. “You scared the shit out of me, TK,” he admitted. 

“Sorry,” TK replied softly, “I didn’t mean to worry anyone.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Enzo rushed to reassure him, “I know you didn’t ask for this to happen but...shit TK, I am not built for this. Do you think you could avoid getting shot in the future, for my sanity at the very least?” 

“I’ll try,” TK responded with a chuckle, “I don’t remember most of it but I don’t think it’s anything I want to revisit.”  

“No, I’d imagine not,” Enzo retorted wryly. They lapsed into a comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts and taking comfort from the presence of the other even if it was only over a phone call from half a country away. “So,” he finally said, leaning into normal conversation for the sake of normalcy, “is your dad driving you nuts yet?” 

“Yes,” TK responded emphatically, “he has been hovering non-stop, and he brought a date.” 

Enzo could hear indignant sputtering in the background and Owen muttering something about him not bringing a date, that his date had simply come to visit him to see how he was doing and, maybe because of all the fear and stress of the past week, Enzo could only laugh. 

“That sounds like your dad,” he retorted once he caught his breath, “and I wouldn’t count on that changing anytime soon.” 

“She seemed cool at least,” TK allowed, voice teasing, “I don’t know why he was trying to keep her a secret.”

“Excuse you,” Owen’s voice objected from the background, “I am not the one who had a hot cop sitting by my bedside. You don’t get to talk about keeping secrets.”

“Dad,” TK groaned and Enzo’s eyebrows shot up. 

“Oh, so the mystery man is a cop,” he teased, “and the plot thickens.” 

Now it was TK’s turn to splutter, “Nope, we are not doing this. That is more than enough from both of you,” he declared and Enzo could hear Owen chuckling at his son’s indignation from the background. It was a slice of normal that he had feared he’d never get again. To be sitting here hearing TK’s voice, teasing him about something so simple as the guy he had a crush on seemed like a miracle and Enzo was grateful for it.

Everything was normal again, at long last. 

----------------

Sometimes he thinks that turning on news alerts for Austin was the worst decision he had ever made. 

It seemed practical, at the time. An easy way to stay in the know, to have an idea of what kind of calls TK may have seen on any given day. But now he was frozen in the middle of the hallway after one of his classes staring at a notification about a solar storm that had blasted through Austin, leaving devastation in its wake; regretting every decision that led him to this point. 

He knew TK was still on medical leave. He knew that he should be home and resting after only being released from the hospital two days before. But he also knew his stepson and knew that whenever there was trouble, TK was usually not too far behind. 

It was with that thought in his mind that he stepped out out the middle of the hallway and leaned against the wall as he waited anxiously for the call to connect. The sound of a pleasant robotic voice informing him that his call could not be completed filled him with dread, but he forced himself to take a breath. It didn’t mean anything. The grid was likely overloaded right now; Enzo couldn’t say he knew for sure what kind of damage a solar storm could do but he was willing to guess that it wasn’t great for the electronic infrastructure. 

Left with no other options he went on about his day, the familiar anxiety he had only recently shed slipping back over him like a worn winter coat. He tried calling a few more times, trying to ignore how the dread in his gut grew each and every time the call didn’t go through. He resisted the urge to ask one of his science colleagues to explain the specifics of a solar storm; reasoning that dealing with his own uncertainty would be far kinder than having confirmed facts. At least this way, he decided, he could tell himself he was overreacting. 

It was far too many hours before his phone rang; an unfamiliar number appearing on his lock screen. He frowned at it but swiped to answer. He did list his cell number on all of his course syllabi, but for the most part his students stuck to his campus email, or — in desperate times — text. 

“Dr. Cohen,” he answered, mentally placing bets as to whether it was actually a student or a robot trying to inform him about the extended warranty of the car he didn’t own.

To his immense relief, it was neither. Instead, a familiar voice answered, sending a rush of relief through him at the sound, “Hey, Enzo, it’s me.” 

“TK,” he breathed, setting down the paper he had been reading and closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. “Are you okay?” 

“More or less,” he answered sheepishly and Enzo was about to push for more than that when he caught the distinct sound of a hospital intercom in the background. 

“Tyler Kennedy Strand, are you in the hospital again?” he demanded and he heard a weary sigh from the other end before a quiet “yeah” was muttered. 

“It’s not a big deal though,” TK rushed to explain, “I’m fine. I just pulled my stitches.” 

There was another voice in the background that Enzo didn’t recognize and could barely hear, but what he could hear made it clear that the other voice was not impressed either. 

“Well, what was I supposed to do?” TK demanded, and Enzo was not entirely sure who he was speaking to, “Let her drown in a burning bus?” 

“You just got out of the hospital!” Enzo objected when he could form words again, “What were you doing somewhere where there was a burning bus?!” 

“We just went out for boba,” TK retorted, “I didn’t expect there to be a solar storm that caused a bus accident.” 

And Enzo forced himself to take a deep breath because that was fair, he supposed. There was no way anyone could control anything like that. Still…

“The next time you move we’re going to need to do some research,” he declared. “Because if it is anywhere as chaotic as Austin, I’m going to have to object.” 

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” TK assured him, “I think I’ll be in Austin for a while.” 

There was a smile in his voice and Enzo somehow had the feeling he was intruding on something, even though TK had been the one to call him. 

“What number are you calling me from?” he asked, testing his theory. 

“I borrowed Carlos’s phone,” TK answered in a voice that said he knew what was coming and he hoped it would at least be quick. 

“Oh,” Enzo replied, “and Carlos wouldn’t happen to be the name of a certain ‘hot cop’ your father mentioned, aka the mystery man I have been trying to get you to tell me about for months?”

“Yes.”

“And when you say ‘we’ were trying to get boba…” 

“Enzo…”  

“And he wouldn’t happen to be with you right now, would he?” 

“Are you done?” TK demanded, and Enzo only laughed. 

“Not nearly, kid; I’m just getting started.” 

And despite TK’s muttering, Enzo could tell that he sounded happier than he had heard him sound in ages. He marveled at the fact that somehow, despite everything, TK had managed to find the happiness and peace he had hoped for him ever since he left New York all those months ago. Between the disasters he had managed to take his broken pieces and fit them back together, maybe even stronger than they had been before. 

It was all he had ever wanted for him, and he was relieved beyond belief that he had found it. 

“You know, this means I’m going to have to come down there soon,” he said instead, “I’ve got to meet this mystery man for myself.” 

He could practically hear TK rolling his eyes, but his voice was impossibly warm when he assured him, “You’ll like him, Enzo.” 

“Do you like him?” he asked.

“Yeah,” TK responded without a moment’s hesitation, “I do.” 

“Then I already do,” he assured him. 

If this Carlos had anything to do with the happiness he could finally hear returned to his stepson’s voice, he couldn’t do anything but. 

#911 lone star #911 lone star fic #my writing #tk strand #enzo #userkimmy #userjilly #userac #userbones #reyesstrand #reyeslonestartag #tuserpaige #tuserjamie #buckybarnesalways #laelipoo #I know for sure I usually tag more people but it's been so long I can't remember

[caffeine-and-melatonin]

✨Bad Batch S1 Finale Pt 1 Spoilers✨

AHHHHHHHHHHHH Y'ALL AHHHHHHHHHH SEND HELP

Let's look at the absolute chaos that was my train of thought during this episode...

- A trap? Right away? No build up? Only stress? Yeah this is gonna hurt my feelings a whole lot isn't it

- Speaking of hurt feelings, Cross looking Hunter square in the face and saying that they would come him makes me wanna cry. Like the fact that Cross is fully aware of gravity of them leaving him behind and the fact very clearly upset him UPSETS ME!!!! I just want him to be safe why is that so much to ask for

-ECHOOOOO!!! Look at him go! being all level headed and further stepping up as a leader! I'm so proud of that sweet boy

-Tech...back at it again...laying down underneath a control panel (how long until the edits come out? Just wanna make sure my schedule is clear)

- Lol something about Gregor hanging out with Cid is VERY funny to me

- Ahhhhhhhhhhh Kamino.....y'all I'm so scared

-Fuck you Rampart

- HOLD UP!!!!! FORESHADOWING??? ARE WE GETTING CROSS BACK??? PLEASE???

- Something about Echo asking where the rest of the fleet is doesn't sit right with me

- Tech's gentle tone while he talks to Omega is just so 🥰

- Serious shout out to the animators!

- Ok hidden elevator tube thing is pretty cool looking

- ECHO CHECKING IN ON OMEGA!!! FEELINGS!!! EMOTIONS!!! AHHHHHH!!!

- Adding to the list of things that hurt my feelings, Omega having to push her trauma aside in order to save her brother....wtf filoni why must you do this

- Me: *sees TK trooper standing in the control room....thinks about Shaak Ti* HOW DARE YOU STAND WHERE SHE STOOD!!!!!!!

- "They don't leave their own behind...most of the time." AHHHH SHIT NO CROSS SAD HECK NO BIG UPSET

- "We didn't have a choice." "And I did?" I AM NOT OK RIGHT NOW I DON'T THINK Y'ALL UNDERSTAND

- Hold up is that why no one ever saw Omega? Because she could only move around via the tube system?

- Wait she was there????? That's why she knew so much about them from the beginning. The poor baby was separated from her brothers.

- Hi AZI!

- Crosshair's sigh before he said it was time to go....BRAIN VERY FULL. Is he gonna? Is he? Y'all?????

- Agh seriously the extra wide shots in this show are just immaculate

- Tech, my love, the last time you said you all were gonna do something he wouldn't expect, Cross was all like "Teehee gotcha bitch"

- BOYS DON'T GO UP THERE!!! FISH IN A BARREL! REPEAT! FISH IN A BARREL!

- REX??? IS REX GONNA POST UP??? PLEASE

- I'm living for Cross with dialogue. The pure sass and sarcasm from that man is just *chef's kiss*

- Omega...sweetie...not the murder bots...the boys are still up there

- "We're loyal to each other." "You weren't loyal to ME."

- The fact that we have gotten more character development for Cross in like 10 mins then we have the whole season is...interesting, but somehow it works. I'm not complaining by any means

- Pls don't shoot the baby

- THE MIRRORS!!! CROSS!!! YOU ARROGANT SOB!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!

- THE WAY I CALLED CROSS BEING ALL LIKE "IF MY BROTHERS WON'T SAVE ME I'LL JUST DO IT MYSELF"

- Direct shot from Omega! Look at her go! Echo must be so proud!

- THE THEME MUSIC WHEN CROSS STARTED HELPING THEM TAKE DOWN THE DROIDS!!!!!

- Hunter....growling....while talking down a murder bot....with only a knife....hmmmmmm

- He didn't get his chip out. There's no way. The Empire would never willing give up having control over him. Why would he say that? I'm not ok with this. That's it! Add that to the list of things that hurt my feelings

- Hunter finally being visibly worried about Cross...thank god we finally got something

- STUN ROUND!!!!! HE'S FINALLY COMING HOME!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

- For crying out loud Hunter, respectfully, just hug the damn child it's not that hard

-"You did the same for me." CALL BACK TO THE RYLOTH EPISODE

- Hunter doing the right thing and not second guessing the decision + Omega looking at him and acknowledging it is fantastic. It's such a brief moment but it's so important

- AND NOW THE THING THAT HURT MY FEELINGS THE MOST: THE DRAMATIC MUSIC AND THE SHOTS OF DIFFERENT PLACES AROUND THE CITY! like it's so beautifully done but also fucking hell they really did just blow that place up

- If Crosshair really did think the Empire cared about him, what's he gonna think when he finds out that they open fired on the city while he was still there?

So normally I do a "final thoughts" section at the end of these things, but I think I'm gonna save that for either after pt 2 or I honestly might just do a season wrap up later, so look for that next week.

But yeah this episode was so well written. A lot of it hurt my feelings, but I'm not mad ya know what I mean? Anyway this is gonna be a long week before pt 2...I'm already stressed out.

(PS thank the maker they announced that season 2 is happening because I don't think I could physically handle them pulling a Rogue One)

#the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers #tbb #tbb spoilers #bad batch #bad batch spoilers

[cactusandfir]

inspired by the other general managers in our fantasy league (the No Thoughts Head Empty League) here is a breakdown of my team, but in *spreadsheet* style!

meet Chaos & Chill (stats and comments below the cut):

Stats:

Average age: 28.6 (range: 23 – 35)

Side note - dylan is 4 days older than TK which should Not Be Allowed

Average height: 6’ 2” (range: 5’7” – 6’7”)

Astrology: 7 water signs, 5 air signs, 3 earth signs and a lone gemini

Nationality: 7 canadians, 3 americans, 3 russians, and 3 europeans

Alignments: i just made an alignment soup to pick terms from until something felt right because it’s fun to categorize things...

Notes in draft order:

1. Alex Ovechkin: the original vibes i wanted to go for were chaos and ovi is the definition of chaos, and also a really good player because although vibes are first priority, points are the second and he can score

2. Travis Konecny: also massive chaotic good vibes and i like him a lot (i do regret not drafting him any flyer friends, sorry buddy)

3. Andrei Vasilevskiy: i don’t know a ton about him, but what i have seen is pretty weird and i like it

4. Roman Josi: needed a d-man and they were starting to go! and this is where my strategy changed a bit, to make an “and chill” half of my team. also he’s very pretty.

5. Dylan Strome: i knew connor, mitch, and mat would all go pretty quick, but I needed a bit of draft class 2015. although i will argue that he has SAD chaotic vibes…(im aware i call him neutral chaotic in the table, but i was too lazy to change it)

6. Alex DeBrincat: dylan needed a friend, he can’t be too sad. i picked 11/12 so i had almost back-to-back picks and this is the only time i used it with any strategy

7. John Klingberg: needed more d! and he’s sooo chill

8. Evgeny Kuznetsov: almost the entire caps team are chaos vibes so in kuzy goes

9. Braden Holtby: more calming presence, and a second goalie

10. Brent Burns: and we’re back to chaos!

11. Taylor Hall: shipping himself to Buffalo: chaotic

12. Tom Wilson: for some reason i was really feeling the caps? plus i think he will get me points

13. Nate Schmidt: he has a dramatic and chaotic history, but really i needed more d-men so he can join the other boys here who are sad about leaving their old teams this season

14. Chris Tanev: no facts, just vibes- i feel like he is both a calm dad presence and chaotic at the same time. also he’s a flame now :(((

15. Anders Lee: needed a bench forward and he was the highest ranked one i recognized (but if you know any chaotic or chill facts™ hit me up)

16. Mikko Koskinen: he’s 6’7” and was drafted by the islanders, but after being sent down after a year he went back to play for Finland and then in the KHL until 2018 when he signed with the Oilers: chaotic (also he looks like mcdavid’s twin, which is the most chaotic of all)

#nthel #ill tag this way too if ppl want to filter #i felt like a true Sports Man making this table... #and then i color coded the signs and felt much better

[howtosingit]

I haven't read them all just yet, but of the ones I have read, I Just Wanted You to Know (This is Me Trying) is absolutely my favorite. I love everything about that one. The tone of it, the look into Carlos' head and feelings - it's just great all around!

Thank you, Jillian! 

I really had no intention of writing another “fix-it fic” for episode 2 (truly my love/hate episode of season 1), but then folklore was released, I fell in love with that song, and that was the scene that came to me and wouldn’t leave me alone. 

I love any chance to get inside Carlos’s head, since there’s so much we don’t know about him. I also loved getting to play with TK’s guilt over the dinner scene a little bit more; he just seemed so sad when he left Carlos, and I think after some alone time, he would’ve felt really, really terrible about just walking out. TK also strikes me as a person who would want to apologize for his mistakes as soon as possible (the boy’s got a big heart okay), so this fic allowed me to give him that opportunity.

(I originally didn’t want to write this kind of fic because it requires the police station scene to be cut and I just love that moment between them so much, but I’m glad I did, and I’m glad you liked it!)

I Just Wanted You to Know (This is Me Trying)

Tell me your favorite fic of mine!

#this was lovely to hear - thank you jillian! #brilliantbanshee #asks #tarlos #tarlos fic

[yikes-xander]

decided to do soft edits this time, my heart :) tylerstrands march 15, etclipse april 6 may 15 april 19 jan 30, graecu.s april 21, eluscaptain april 23 29 (THE SONG 😭) , may 10 march 24, aqvaedits april 26 27 4, lyndalsedits may 6 (AGAIN THE SONG), xperaltiagos may 18 april 2 , retrodiaz march 3 , jenmishs april 26 (the song i’m just sad) , violqted may 18. okay that’s so many i’m sorry i have no self control lol. but for a sprinkle of sadness have this edit eluscaptain april 8

me: wakes up n immediately watches all of these

1. oh how I yearn to lay on the hood of a car n just stare up into the night sky with the person I love 🥺

2. I stg the au ones always hit harder, ooh a mega edit w all the boys cute!! if buck n Eddie's slowburn just ends up being queerbaiting I'm gonna scream, carlos n I are one and the same - cant stop thinking about tk 😔

3. I agree w the caption buck n eddie are endgame

4. okay but buck digging in the MUD W HIS BARE HANDS BC HE WANTS TO SAVE EDDIE KILLS ME EVERY TIME I SEE IT, I would DIE for evan buckley I will take no criticism, the whole lawsuit situation made me so sad 🥺, I love bucks relationship w chris so much hes Dad Material

5. another edit w all 4!! buck n eddie care about each other so much IM SOFT, "we make a pretty good team" if I dont have a relationship this good one day I'm gonna cry

6. I love when buck n eddie high they look so soft n it makes me CRY

7. "who is that?" its ur boyfriend buck, I need season 5 asap 😔

8. carlos running his fingers through tks hair makes me 🥺

9. "that's love your honor" CAPTION IS SO RIGHT

10. the scene where buck n Eddie are playing video games w chris is one of my faves!!

11. this edit is so well done oof but also I felt so bad for buck when this happened bc he couldnt do what he loves n he thought he was being replaced by bosko I cry ☹

#911 #911 lone star #evan buckley #tk strand #eddie diaz #carlos reyes #tarlos #buddie #ask #anon #edits

[onlyroad]

 Tagged by: @stars---thunderbird

rules: answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers you want to get to know better

name: Catherine

nickname: Cathy lol saw the nickname part and realized i had to put my full name

zodiac sign: Sad boi pisces 

height: 5 foot 5 inches 

languages: English, spanish??? is that what this question is asking??? lol

nationality: American

favourite season: Winter/ Fall

favourite flowers: Fireweed 

favourite scent: Anything flowery/ smokey honestly

favourite color: Yellow

favourite animal: Elephants

favourite fictional character(s): Adam Groff, Eric Effiong, Robb Stark, Eddie Diaz, Evan Buckley, M’Baku, Cap. Ray Holt, Liv Moore, Anissa, Pierce, Margo Hanson, Allura, Rosa Diaz, Isabellle Lightwood

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: Tea

average hours of sleep: 6-8

dog or cat person: both 

number of blankets you sleep with: 1-2

dream trip: since i have to pick between new zealand and iceland 

blog established: uhhhhhhhhh i was in middle school and i just graduated college soooooooo 10 years?

followers: 461

random fact: For some reason whenever watch a movie or a show for annoying ass reason i jam my finger into my left eye. Lol after I’m done watching whatever the hell i’m watching my vision is fucked up for like 20 minutes but yeah. I used to lie and say that it helped me focus buuuut thats not true and idk it brings me comfort lol. 

I tag: @hasan-minhaj @tk-strand @wakandamama @weighedxwn @hopelessgirl21111 @undeadphyco @superherojack @seeige @ronance-dingus