#sam whump

[samwhump]

a (very inexhaustive, wincest-heavy) sam whump reclist

@transfemmesam asked me for Sam whump recs a few days ago, and I've had other requests in the same vein before (I can't imagine why.../s) so I thought I would throw this together, since these authors deserve all of the love and support for their contributions to our li'l fandom corner.

like I mentioned in the title, this is not at all a comprehensive list; I have at least ~200 more fics in my to-read queue that could thematically fit here, but alas, I have stupid shit like a job and a body and a dog to take care of, so. I'm always happy to get recs along these lines, so if you notice anything important missing, hit me UP. (and don't take any omissions as any specific commentary by me -- it's likely I just haven't had the chance to read it yet, haha.)

disclaimers:

some (most, honestly) of these contain potentially triggering and dark content, including but not limited to rape/noncon, torture, and suicidal attempts & ideation. I have tried to note content warnings where applicable, and most of the works are hosted on ao3, so the tags should have most of the information you need to make an informed decision. that being said, tread with caution. all of the summaries provided are from the original author, with warnings added after by me.

the list is in alphabetical order and separated into wincest and gen categories. a lot of the gen is also focused on the sam & dean relationship, because...I am what I am. and what I am a sucker for these two dipshits. there is also a brief section at the end with a few fics that don't fit into either category.

gen

All That Goes Unspoken by amnesiawife:

A case forces Sam to confront something long kept buried. (Set nebulously in season 12.)

CW: discussions of past rape/noncon, victim blaming

Beneath the Trees 'verse by Lise (5 works total, starting with Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees):

Sam doesn't go to Stanford. Everything goes downhill from there.

CW: suicidal ideation

a boy is a cage by ad_castra:

After expelling Gadreel from Sam's body, Dean thinks they're in the clear. If only they were that lucky. // S9 fic wherein Gadreel's grace causes some adverse side-effects in Sam's mind.

CW: past referenced rape/noncon, body horror

body of proof by Askance (doomcountry):

There are things Sam hasn't told his brother. They're all in the envelope laid on Dean's pillow.

CW: heavy discussion of past rape/noncon

break these bones 'til they're better by redskyatmorning:

After Sam’s torture at the hands of the British Men of Letters, the latest in a long string of violations, he is rescued by Dean and Mary – and forced to ponder his broken relationship with his own body. Months later, when Sam is resurrected and tormented by Lucifer yet again, Dean confronts Mary and Sam gets his revenge against the devil.

catching my death (staring out an open window) by ad_castra:

Sam gazes at the window, catches the faint pink hue tinting the sky. It’s so realistic - he could breathe in the fresh air if he were really here. ----- They got Sam out. Sometimes, just knowing that isn't enough.

CW: implied past rape/noncon

Death of Convenience by WilsonTheMoose:

It should have been easy. Wendigos are no joke but daylight slows them. The weather's been unpredictable though and perfect, idyllic hunts don't exactly stay that way where they're concerned. Or Sam has one card to play and never stops to think that Dean would care if he killed himself.

CW: suicidal ideation, references to suicide

Echoes of Hell by The_Nightbreaker:

It wasn't real. He wasn't in Hell anymore. That's what he tried to tell himself over and over. But two centuries of torture don't disappear in a day. Sam struggles with visions of Hell, fighting to maintain his grip on reality. Dean hates that he can't protect his brother from what isn't real—but curse him if he doesn't try. When the boys stumble on a case with ties to the Devil himself, will they be able to pull themselves together in time to stop the sacrifices? Or will the echoes of Hell finally overtake them? Aka, season 7, but the plot is Hell trauma, not leviathans.

CW: suicidal ideation

Evening Shadows by withthekeyisking:

Sam is hallucinating the monster who tortured him for nearly two centuries, Dean feels like he's failing his brother, and a diner waitress bears witness.

CW: past rape/noncon

Everything Dies Given Time by Lise:

AU from 5.03. Sam discovers something wrong with himself, and learns to live with it. Only a lot less functional.

CW: suicide/temporary character death

The Freedom to Be Loud by jribbing:

It hadn’t occurred to Dean that maybe Sam remembered so much about that little nowhere town because something memorable had happened there.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

golgotha by redskyatmorning:

There’s a vacancy on the throne of hell, and Sam is desperate enough to save Dean from Michael’s possession to give into the abyssal depths of his own darkness.

Head Space by ameliacareful:

A witch curses Sam leaving him blind, deaf, and bedridden. Left with only the inside of his own head and the occasional touch, Sam begins to unravel.

CW: suicidal ideation

Hiraeth by inkandpaperqwerty:

(n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past "Dean... I made a really big mistake." For a second, Dean actually thought things were going okay. He was out of Hell, Sam agreed to stop drinking demon blood, they had just wrapped up a successful hunt... for once, everything was okay. And then it wasn't. "I overdosed." Not at all.

CW: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation

if i could leave (i would've already left) by serendipity0930:

“I have a mission from God for you,” the Angel whispers to the man. “It is time for you to do what you were born to.” The man’s face twists into a smile, delighted over being chosen by Him, a purpose from God digging into his heart, carving out a place to fester. “Hunt.” ... 05x03 AU where Zachariah is even more determined to keep the brothers apart and hunters are all too willing to take Lucifer's True Vessel off the board for good

CW: referenced suicide

It's A River (But Not In Egypt) by Lise:

He's still a liar. Maybe always has been.

CW: toxic Sam/Lucifer dynamics

Kindred Instruments by PinBitch:

They’re in a tug of war and Sam is the rope. He doesn’t need to be alive for that. OR Sam dies in detox, being flung against the walls of a metal box will do that to you. Dean and Ruby pick up the pieces.

CW: temporary main character death, permanent supporting character death

lazarus trick by katsidhe:

Sam's alive, so everything is gonna be okay. 13.22 coda.

Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence by Lise:

Sam's back. He's in one piece. That's the problem.

CW: self-harm

love is like ghosts by redskyatmorning:

I’m poison, Dean had said instead of I’m sorry. Well, Sam wants to say, what does that make me? What the hell does that make me? (A look into Sam's mind in the aftermath of the Gadreel possession.)

The Other Brother by RadioFriday:

Sam and Adam are pulled from the cage at the same time. Sam is not right, and Adam, stuck as his caretaker, is not pleased.

Oxygen by inkandpaperqwerty:

“Cas! Cas, please! Please, answer me! Cas!” Castiel ignores Dean for several minutes, but then Dean gives him an opening that might help him complete his mission. So, he goes to investigate, and what he finds is a very bloody, nearly dead Sam. Dean tells him where the injuries came from, and Castiel quickly becomes confused. It doesn't make sense, but Dean tries to explain it to him, and slowly... Castiel begins to understand.

CW: suicide attempt

Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc by AmberSock:

Sam waits, kneeling, for his execution. What if Dean hadn't missed?

CW: temporary character death

Safety In Distance by GalaxyThreads and SpiritClusters:

The Mark of Cain is a brand of violence. Sam was an idiot to think that he'd be exempt from it, just because he and Dean are siblings.

sometimes a kind of singing by adi_rotynd:

Sam gets cursed. They're dealing with it. Jack can see souls. That one they're not dealing with quite as well.

CW: past referenced rape/noncon

Soul Windows by GalaxyThreads and Spirit Clusters:

A few months after his birth, Jack learns how to see souls. Then he comes to a realization about the Winchester brothers, Sam in particular, and it's not a pleasant one. (gen)

Starry Night by keepcalmsmile:

Sam attempts suicide-by-monster. Dean tries to help. It sort of works...until it doesn't.

CW: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation

such fragile, broken things by The_Bookkeeper:

Sam wishes that Dean would just get it over with already.

The Tale of Sir Galahad by keepcalmsmile:

Sam once said he could never be clean like Sir Galahad. Dean assumed he was just talking about the demon blood. Turns out, Sam was talking about something else too. WARNING: Extended discussions of the aftermath of rape and childhood sexual abuse (but NO description of the actual events). Happy(ish) ending, but potentially very triggering.

CW: past rape/noncon, mentioned CSA

They Hammered in His Teeth by jribbing:

Sam has a secret.

CW: suicidal ideation

today's troubles (are history tomorrow) by a_good_soldier:

"It's not really something I know how to share," Sam had said. In which Dean figures he ought to help Sam out a bit.

Touch and Go by themegalosaurus:

Tag to 9.19 (Alex Annie Alexis Ann) in which Dean realises why, exactly, Sam is so angry about what happened with Gadreel.

trust fall by ad_castra:

“I’m nothing like you,” Sam hisses. Nevermind relating to the anguish of going it alone. Nevermind that he knows what it is to be strapped down and forcibly cleansed against his will. Sam wonders if these trials are purifying Crowley as well. 

Words Like Glass by broken_cinders:

Dean never figured the cage wouldn't leave a mark. He was prepared for memories, flashbacks, and nightmares. He wasn't expecting the words Sam brought back with him or the way they made him seem just a breath beyond Dean's reach.

Wound and Unwound by fascra:

Sam stops eating spring of his freshman year.

CW: eating disorder

wincest (dean/sam)

Brittle by thecapn:

Sam Winchester has an eating disorder.

CW: eating disorder

Don't You Cry No More by sixtysevenlmpala (schittyfic):

The first time Sam gets badly hurt on a hunt, he doesn’t cry. Dean does.

Fall On Your Knees by dollylux:

Sam doesn't quite make it home on the last day of school before winter break.

The Fall Will Probably Kill You by killabeez:

Set between 7.04 and the aftermath of 7.07. Dean is not as okay as he'd like you to think. Neither is Sam.

CW: self-harm

Feels so good to feel again by Trojie:

The pain keeps Lucifer at bay, at least to start with.

Follow In Your Form by withthekeyisking:

Sam is hallucinating Lucifer in the wake of Cas bringing his Hell Wall crashing down. To make matters worse, it seems like this has his dormant powers flaring back to life.

Last Temptation by merle_p:

Sam is running a fever again, the kind of fever no Ibuprofen or cold compress will bring down, the kind of fever that is eating him up alive, eviscerating him from the inside. He is too hot and too cold and too pale, delirious and shaking, resonating with whatever divine energy the trials are subjecting him to, and Dean is not sure how much longer he can stand to see him be in this state. Because Sam is quite possibly dying, and there is nothing Dean can do to stop it. Because Sam is dying, and he just. Won’t. Shut. Up.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

leeches by Anonymous:

Sam discovers a spell to make everybody forget him. He’s convinced it’s for the best. Pre-Stanford.

CW: attempted kidnapping/torture

Make Thick My Blood by themegalosaurus:

“You’re going to kill me, Dean,” Sam says, eventually. And all Dean can say is, “I think I am.” A season 10 AU, set after 10x14 ('The Executioner's Song'). Cas finds a solution that might cure the Mark of Cain; but if they're going to go through with it, Sam has a terrible price to pay.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

Prophecy of an Abomination by ashitanoyuki:

Sam is kidnapped by fanatically religious hunters and crucified. Coming back from this won't be easy. Canon-divergent from midway through season 2.

Recall by De_Nugis:

Sam's having a hard time telling what's real and what isn't, especially when it comes to some voicemails from Dean.

The Room Upstairs by brokenlittleboy:

Sam comes back from hell, but he’s inside-out and all wrong, and Dean can’t fix him.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

Ruin You (and its companion fic Worth) by Mumble_Bee:

Cole fucks Sam with Demon!Dean watching from a devil's trap, snarling that anyone would dare touch what was his. “I told you I don’t care what you do to his face or his blood or his fucking nose,” Dean growled, “but you put your dick anywhere near him and I will end you.” “Better hurry up then, Dean, because I don’t think I can wait much longer.”

CW: explicit rape/noncon

Snowed In by HelloStarlingFics:

When working a case, Sam and Dean get stuck out in a shack in the woods when the snow comes in hard and fast. Trouble is, Sam’s hated the cold ever since the Cage. Time for Dean to step up and look after him.

Wake by minchout:

Gadreel has had Sam for four years, and Dean, lost in guilt and obsessed with finding a way to get his brother back, has isolated himself in a cabin in the Missouri Ozarks with nothing but the woods, a stray dog, some chickens, and all the books the Men of Letters had to offer to keep him company. Then Sam shows up one day without his passenger, and Dean learns quickly that it doesn't matter that Sam is with him again - there is still a lot of work to be done before they can find their way back to each other.

Wanting to Forget by morganaDW (morgana07):

1-shot. S1 fic. After getting Sam freed from the Benders Dean thinks all he has to cope with is some bruises and cuts. He learns quickly just how wrong he is when Sam wakes up with a nightmare, reliving his brief but bad captivity in every detail. Sam just wants to forget & Dean has to try to get him to let him help. Will one night of cruelty and pain ruin what’s been formed between them?

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

when I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place by quake_quiver:

Sam doesn’t remember the last time he cried for Dean like he did that night. And now it’s been…two weeks. Maybe more. Sam is tired, and in pain, and starting to doubt that Dean’s going to show up. He’s weak and shaking from a combination of constant pain and hunger. Sam longs for Dean. Dean would make it better. Dean would fix it.

CW: rape/noncon, body horror

Wire Inside Me by merle_p:

There are a lot of things Sam hates about his current condition, to the point where he sometimes feels for the gun under his pillow at night, blindly toys with the safety, imagines pressing the muzzle into the underside of his chin and pulling the trigger just to make it stop. But there’s nothing he hates as much as the shadows he sees in Dean’s eyes whenever his brother is looking at him these days. It’s not an expression he remembers ever seeing before, but Sam thinks it’s probably something like revulsion. Horror. Disgust. What else could it be.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon, body horror, forced pregnancy

Worth (and its companion fic Ruin You) by Mumble_Bee:

Episode 10x01 "Black" where Dean is a human, and very, very, pissed off to hear someone has hands on his brother. “It’s nothing personal,” Cole whispered into Sam's ear, too quietly for Dean to hear, “but I need to kill your brother, and I need him off his game when he gets here. I don’t wanna hurt you, kid, but I’m going to, anyway. I’m going to hurt you a lot."

CW: explicit rape/noncon

you'll never see us again by according2thelore:

Then finally, his eyes trail over to Dean. His pupils are pin-point thin, and his hair is straggling in his face so Dean can’t see most of what expression lies there. Sam usually wakes up from nightmares in one of three attitudes: confusion, fear, or calm. A scary, sense-prickling calm that Dean hates more than anything else. Resignation, almost. Or: Sam suffers from nightmares and touch starvation post-Cage. They do their best to deal.

other Sam/Lucifer noncon

Cage Fight (No Way To Do This Right) by Dyed_Red:

Sam’s visit to the cage is already going awry, but Dean’s one-man rescue ends up skidding it sideways into territory neither him or Sam are ready for. (Gratuitous episode scene re-write. If Cas hadn’t come till after, if he hadn’t been there yet when Dean ran down to the 'parole' cage after hearing Sam scream - how bad could it have got for the brothers before he made it?)

CW: graphic rape/noncon

Into Being by withthekeyisking:

When Sam wakes up in the cave on Apocalypse World after having been killed by vamps, it's not just to find Lucifer there with him. It's to find him in him.

CW: graphic rape/noncon, necrophilia, forced pregnancy

Reggie/Tim/Sam noncon

a pointless resistance for you by withthekeyisking:

Sam doesn't know how long he's been with Tim and Reggie by the time Dean shows up and tries to take him out of there. Long enough that's he's already lost one baby and is pregnant with the next. Long enough that this life is starting to feel like all he knows.

CW: graphic rape/noncon, forced pregnancy & miscarriage, victim blaming

screaming birds sound an awful lot like singing by withthekeyisking:

Sam has done his best to move past what Tim and Reggie did to him, pretending it never happened at all. But running into them again makes that very difficult—especially when Dean gets involved.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

Waste 'Em All by withthekeyisking:

When Tim and Reggie try to force the demon blood down Sam's throat, he spits it back out. He has no interest in being turned into their own personal attack dog. They don't...take it well.

CW: explicit rape/noncon

#sam winchester #sam whump #supernatural #supernatural fic rec #wincest

[blacknidstang]

All i ever wanted was for Dean to know what happened to Sam in 5x03,,, the violation, Sam spitting out the blood.. i needed dean to at least KNOW

#spn #sam&dean #someone had to tell him cuz sam wouldn't #it maakes ne think thoughts #sam not telling dean terrible things happening to him #you knkw #noncon stuff #sam whump #god godddd i need something terrible

[goodwhump-temp]

Sam Winchester Whump | Supernatural THE HOLY BOOK (S1-S15)

1x01 Stabbed, car crash, pinned, emotional 1x02 Emotional 1x04 Insomnia 1x05 Eyes bleeding, guilt, pain 1x06 Knocked out TWICE, restrained TWICE, beaten, choked 1x07 Arm cut, thrown 1x09 Choked unconscious, pinned, emotional 1x10 Possessed, nose bleeding, punched x2, unconscious 1x14 Panic, painful visions x2, scared 1x15 Kidnapped, hunted 1x16 Clawed, bleeding, retrained, emotional, knocked down 1x17 Choked 1x18 Pinned, life drained (flashback and present) 1x19 Pinned aggressively 1x20 Choked 1x21 Painful visions, emotional 1x22 Tackled, beaten, weak, pinned, emotional, car crash

2x01 Car crash, panic, emotional 2x02 Emotional 2x03 Kidnapped, restrained, arm sliced 2x05 Painful visions x2, knocked down 2x09 Attacked, sliced, "infected," emotional 2x10 Punched multiple times, bleeding 2x11 Drunk/emotional, hungover 2x12 Bank hostage 2x13 Passes out????????????????? 2x14 Possessed, knocked out, burned 2x15 Mood swings 2x17 Clawed, heartbroken, emotional 2x21 Kidnapped, manipulated, spine stabbed, literally dies 2x22 Dead, acting weird, pinned, emotional

3x03 Cursed, trips, (25:05), knocked himself out, restrained, beaten, shot 3x07 Hunted, thrown, beaten 3x08 Sad childhood, choked, knocked out, restrained, sliced, fingernail taken, punched 3x09 Pinned, weak 3x10 Restrained & beaten 3x11 Mentally tortured, emotional 3x13 Missing, restrained, bleeding 3x14 Knocked unconscious, restrained, bloody wrists 3x15 Drugged unconscious, restrained, HIS EYE 3x16 Punched, emotional, betrayed, pinned, crying

4x02 Manhandled, beaten, pinned 4x03 (40:55+) 4x04 Punched x2, knocked unconscious, beaten, bleeding 4x07 Pain, beaten, choked, painful exorcism, nose bleeding 4x08 Struck by lightning, unconscious 4x09 Thrown, jumps from window, bleeding, flashbacks (grieving, beaten) 4x10 Choked 4x12 Restrained 4x13 Bullied childhood, nards kicked, punched, guilt 4x14 Neck bleeding, poisoned, Dean fistfight 4x15 Scared (40:40+) 4x18 Manipulated 4x19 Manipulated, knocked unconscious, sliced, bleeding out 4x20 Betrayed, trapped 4x21 Intense withdrawl, hallucinations (tortured, manipulated, emotional), seizures, restrained, angst, emotional pain (39:20+) 4x22 Manipulated, panic 5x01 Guilt, emotional, choking, (hated the whole episode) 5x02 Knocked unconscious, captured, guilt, scared 5x03 Guilt, manhandled, manipulated, scared 5x04 Possessed 5x05 Choked, knocked unconscious, restrained 5x06 Pinned 5x08 Nut "cracked" 5x09 Thrown, restrained 5x11 Manipulated, drunk, restrained, guilt/angry 5x12 Freaky friday, tranquilized, restrained 5x13 Stabbed, dies 5x14 Addicted, withdrawal 5x16 Killed 5x18 Thrown, hemorrhaging 5x19 Choked 5x21 Nausea, collapse, bleeding, tackled 5x22 Unconscious, possessed, scared, "dead"

6x03 Annoyed, acting strange 6x06 Acting strange, knocked unconscious, restrained, sliced, beaten unconscious 6x07 Restrained, bleeding, pain, diagnosed 'soulless', choked, 6x09 Beaten, bleeding 6x10 Biteas himself, bleeding 6x11 Worried, knocked unconscious (x2), leg scraped, bleeding, restrained, panic, pain 6x12 Emotional, guilt 6x13 Guilt, restrained, collapse, convulsing, Hell 6x14 Unconscious 6x17 Threatened 6x21 Knocked unconscious, dragged 6x22 Scared, comatose, (10:15), hunted, weak

7x01 Weak, (02:50), bloody nose, collapse, hand bleeding, hallucinating (Hell; hanged, manipulated torture), (23:50) 7x02 Hallucinating (choked, manipulated), freakout, hand pain, panic/confused, hand bleeding, knocked unconscious, head trauma, seizure 7x03 Unconscious (03:50), hallucinating, flashback (punched), punched 7x05 Pain, choked 7x06 Framed, interrogated, feels betrayed, angry 7x07 Angry 7x08 Missing, mind controlled/drugged, withdrawals, headache, knocked unconscious, restrained, choked 7x11 Choked, bitten unconscious x2, restrained, poisoned, weak 7x14 Clown phobia, scared as hell, punched x2, bleeding 7x15 Head hit, hallucinating (tortured) 7x16 Insomnia/torture, spacing out 7x17 Insomnia/torture, hit by a car, hospitalized, hallucinating, passes out, electrocuted, pain 7x18 Buzzed, knocked unconscious

8x01 Knocked down, arm sliced 8x03 Thrown, choked 8x06 Berated, beaten, bloody nose, heartbroken 8x08 Heartbroken 8x09 Manipulated, heartbroken 8x10 Angry, choked 8x11 Choked 8x12 Thrown 8x13 Poisoned, dying, unconscious 8x14 First trial, pain 8x15 Thrown, paralyzed 8x16 Coughing blood, thrown, pinned 8x17 Coughing blood, beaten, bloody noose, (23:25-24:20) 8x18 Knocked unconscious (38:20), restrained 8x19 Punched, arm sliced, thrown/pinned, second trial, pain 8x20 Exhausted, dizzy, punched, shoved, (33:40), punched x3 8x21 Tinnitis/resonating, delerious, fever, passes out, angry 8x22 Coughing, upset 8x23 Manipulated, emotional, crying, extreme pain

9x01 Comatose, dying, punched x3, manipulated, possessed 9x02 Beaten, knocked unconscious 9x03 Thrown, knocked unconscious x2 9x04 Passes out, mind controlled, knocked down 9x05 Sliced, seriously bleeding, knocked out 9x07 Pinned 9x08 Exhausted, thrown, unconscious, (38:00), confused 9x09 Concerned time skips, body held hostage 9x10 Hostage, knocked unconscious, restrained, probed/tortured, thrown, choked, weak, guilt 9x11 Grace extracted, extreme pain, reverting/dying, nose/eyes bleeding 9x12 Unconscious, restrained 9x13 Pinned, kicked, choked 9x14 Trapped 9x15 Tazed, restrained 9x16 Restrained, face/neck sliced, pinned 9x17 Punched to the ground x2, pain, choked 9x18 Angry (Gadreel) 9x19 Hit, blood drained, weak 9x23 Sobbing, greiving

10x01 Sling, knocked out, hostage 10x02 Tortured/beaten, pain, knocked unconscious 10x03 Manipulated, guilt, flashback (desperate), hunted 10x04 Choked x2, kicked down 10x06 Scared 10x07 Punched x2 10x08 Knocked down, weak, passes out 10x12 Thrown, weak 10x13 Tackled, choked 10x18 Choked 10x19 Manipulated, bleeding out, passing out, slapped, weak 10x20 Knocked unconscious, headbutted x2, punched 10x21 Scared 10x22 Guilt, desperate, thrown 10x23 Beaten by Dean, emotional

11x01 Hunted, infected, manhandled/choked 11x02 Infected, Hell flashbacks, dying, pain 11x03 Thrown 11x04 Bleeding 11x06 Choked, Hell flashbacks x2, collapse 11x07 Clown phobia, scared, choked, knocked unconscious 11x08 Guilt, glum, emotional 11x09 Manipulated, scared, trapped 11x10 Trapped, scared, manipulated, beaten 11x11 Insomnia, pinned, hand sliced, guilt 11x12 Hit x3 11x13 Pinned, cursed/choked 11x14 Pinned, threatened, extreme pain, collapses/unconscious 11x16 (27:10), Punched x2 11x17 Shot, extreme pain the whole episode, suffocated, "dead" 11x20 Collapse, pain, passes out, comforted 11x23 Shot (offscreen)

12x01 Shot, kidnapped, tortured (cold, burned, drugged/hallucinating), "dead", electroshocked x2, kicked, scared 12x02 Tortured (drugged, cut), bleeding, exhausted 12x03 Thrown 12x04 Knocked unconscious, trapped 12x05 Punched x2 12x06 Bruised, thrown 12x09 "Dead" 12x11 Painful tinnitus, bleeding, kidnapped, unconscious 12x12 Punch multiple times 12x18 Hit by sledgehammer x2 12x19 Thrown, knocked unconscious 12x20 Choked 12x22 Trapped underground, exhausted, suffocating

13x01 Knocked unconscious, manhandled, thrown, beaten 13x02 Choked 13x04 Therapy, emotional 13x05 Thrown 13x06 Thrown 13x07 Kicked, flashbanged 13x08 Punched, thrown, knocked unconscious 13x09 Punched 13x10 Knocked unconscious 13x11 Depressed, knocked unconscious, restrained 13x12 Choked, lucifer trauma, paralyzed, manhandled, choked 13x14 Burning alive (Jacks nightmare), attacked 13x15 Knocked unconscious 13x16 Slapped 13x17 Poisoned, passes out, weak, kidnapped 13x18 Attacked, thrown, choked 13x19 Passes out, restrained, pain 13x20 Choked, manhandled 13x21 Bit, bleeding out, collapse, dead, scared 13x23 Tinnitus, punched x2, missing, kicked, choked, pain, punched

14x01 Depressed, tired, thrown, manhandled, punched x3 14x03 Knocked down, 14x04 Knocked unconscious, halloween trauma 14x07 Worried, emotional 14x08 Emotional, grieving 14x09 Hit by bat, thrown, knocked unconscious, manhandled 14x10 Punched, pushed 14x11 Emotional pain 14x12 Emotional outburst, crying 14x13 Punched x3, emotional/daddy issues, choked, thrown, beaten, bleeding 14x14 Emotional, choking, blind, pain, tinnitus 14x15 Depressed, guilt, mind controlled, extreme pain, head almost explodes, emotional 14x17 Angry, guilt, beaten bloody, head trauma, dying, comforted, passes out 14x18 Emotional 14x20 Shot

15x01 Sliced, mysterious bullet pain, kicked multiple times, comforted 15x03 Crying, mourning/guilt 15x04 Demon Sam "nightmare", emotional 15x05 Lucifer Sam "nightmare", knocked unconscious, nightmare (beaten, choked, stabbed/killed) 15x06 Cursed, hemorrhaging, weak, kidnapped, stabbed (voodoo), extreme pain x2 15x07 Bullet pain, knocked unconscious, poisoned, dying 15x08 Kicked, choked 15x09 Restrained, bullet wound mangled, pain, manipulated (guilt, shot), (35:50), heartbroken 15x10 Unlucky, trips, sick, spicy pepper recovery, punched 15x12 Beaten 15x13 Thrown 15x14 Pinned, tortured (4 fingernails ripped off), thrown 15x16 Thrown, angry 15x17 Choked, punched, headbutted, emotional, crying 15x19 Beaten bloody, arm dislocated 15x20 Tackled, sobbing

#whump #emotional whump #whump list #whumplist #supernatural #supernatural whump #sam winchester #sam winchester whump #sam whump #jared padalecki #jared padalecki whump #jensen ackles

[ihavepointysticks]

Red Meat (11x17) my beloved

#supernatural #red meat #spn 11x17 #sam winchester #hurt!sam #sam whump

[the-gray-ghosty]

The fact that Sam started the Changing Channels episode by hearing the song Heat of the Moment on the radio and saying "if i ever hear it again im gonna kill myself", and then proceeds to hear it over a hundred times with his brother dying each time, and we are just supposed to assume that in one of the loops he didnt try to kill himself ??

#pls i love whump fics about this #where dean walks in and finds sam about to end it all #and dean doesnt understand #sam winchester #spn #sam and dean #supernatural #samdean #dean winchester #sam whump #sam and trauma #changing channels

[fandom-hoarder]

A Bibro's

Sastiel Rec List

-for the canon-adjacent connoisseur-

1. Pagan by posingasme

Gen | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 17, 782 | Chapters: 8/8

Tags: Blasphemy, Idol Worship, Fallen Castiel, Priest Sam, Hunterverse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Canon-Typical Violence

Summary: Castiel has fallen, too soon. Madness and desperation plague him, but, as always, his heart is still in the right place...with Sam Winchester.

🔆

2. Run Right; or Lie by orphan_account

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 5,197 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: AU, Alternate Universe, Canon Divergence, Pre-Slash

Summary: AU in which Dean died during Faith, the first seal was broken in season one, and Sam met Castiel when his faith was as strong as ever.

🔆

3. Kneel Before the Lord Our Maker by EnInkahootz

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,000 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Supernatural Kink Bingo 2021, Porn, Smut, Blasphemy, Angels, Angel Kink, Religion, Religion Kink, Angel Wings, Wings, Flying, Clouds, Cock Worship, Dom/sub, Sub Sam Winchester, Dom Castiel, Dom Castiel/Sub Sam Winchester, Dreams, Blow Jobs, Post-Episode: s04e07 It's the Great Pumpkin Sam Winchester

Summary: After first meeting Castiel and being disappointed in It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester (Season 4, Episode 7), Sam has a dream about Castiel being the classic sort of angel he had expected to meet. Sam dreams of using his mouth to worship Castiel's holy cock, which Sam sees as an extension of god.

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4. What This Is About by MissMisdemeanor

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,147 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Top Castiel/Bottom Sam Winchester, Riding, Sweat, Hook-Up, Secret Relationship, Canon Compliant, canon adjacent?, Making Out, Early season 5 Supernatural

Summary: “This is something you’ve wanted before today,” Cas states, and it’s true. He’s not sure if Cas even had to read his soul to get at that.

Sam’s breath stops. He freezes momentarily. “Yeah,” he admits. “Shit, Cas, yeah. I’d have done this the day we met.”

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5. A First Grasp by Fae-and-night (goodgirlgonegeek16)

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,034 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season 5 angst, Episode: s05e03 Free to Be You and Me, or at least the sastiel alternate ending to that episode.

Summary: Sastiel-flavored coda for “Free to be You and Me” with some early seasons bamf!castiel.

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6. My Sastiel Valentine by rosworms

M/M | Rating: Mature | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 3,371 | Chapters: 3/3

Tags: Episode: s05e14 My Bloody Valentine, Slash, NSFW, Sastiel - Freeform, Sam/Cas - Freeform

Summary: A very slight AU of the episode 'My Bloody Valentine' where Sam is affected by famine in a different way.

🔆 55 more fics, in relatively chronological order, below the cut 🔆

7. Boy in the White Suit by posingasme

Gen, M/M | Mature | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 13,460 | Chapters: 7/7

Tags: Boy King of Hell Sam Winchester, Post-Apocalypse, Dark Sam Winchester, Insanity, Alice in Wonderland References, Blasphemy, Self-Destruction, Madness

Summary: Sam said no. Dean said yes. Sam lost his mind. Castiel lost his friends. That’s the road so far.

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8. A More Profound Bond by confxsed

Gen, M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,824 | Chapters: 5/5

Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel, Hurt Sam Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, Angst, Season/Series 05, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Mentions of Suicide, Pre-Slash

Summary: Five little moments where Dean notices the relationship between Sam and Castiel growing.

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9. some space underneath my skin by hellsreluctantheir

Part 1 of touch -- The soulless Sam and Cas were fucking verse.

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 23,607 | Chapters: 8/8

Tags: Soulless!Sam, Season/Series 06

Summary: Humans liked to touch each other in ways that baffled Castiel. Not just in the manner they slyly referred to as biblically. He watched them clap hands onto shoulders and backs, lean into each other in exhaustion, sleep sitting up with feet resting against each other on the floor. A constant, reverberating, nonverbal hymn. I am here. You are here. We are here, and we are alive. Angels did not need that kind of reassurance. Castiel could hear his siblings' songs no matter how near he was to them physically. Prayers and psalms in the back of his mind. It saddened him, somewhat, to think that humanity would never know that.

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10. The Unexpected by muzivitch

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,253 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Sam and Castiel discuss his missing year. Also, Sam has a crush that would be obvious to anyone but Castiel (except it might even be obvious to him, after all). Takes place after 6.12 "Like A Virgin."

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11. Doing Just Fine by masterlynovak

M/M, Multi | Rating: Explicit | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 1,069 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: idk it's a threesome but not really?, Dean is just watching Sam and Cas have sex, voyerism

Summary: Dean wakes up in a room with a naked Sam spread out on the bed.

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12. Wings by Rowan203

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 1,415 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: AU after season 6. Sam comes back from the cage broken and changed. Dean and Castiel deal with it in different ways.

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13. Between the Shadow and the Soul by Vee (Vera_DragonMuse)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 6,456 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Poetry, hell is the absence of love, take shelter in me, castiel thinks sam is the wolf, sam thinks castiel is in another story, really they're both just lost in the fog

Summary: What if Sam was the one that went to Purgatory with Castiel?

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14. The Sun Pale as Milk by Icanseenow

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 39,879 Chapters: 21/21

Tags: POV Sam Winchester, Season/Series 08, Purgatory, Post-Purgatory, Slow Burn, Nearly Human Castiel, Post-Season/Series 07

Summary: Instead of Dean, Castiel is the one to return from Purgatory first. He finds Sam, and together they spend a year. Looking for Dean and not looking for Dean.

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15. a body of proof by lordofsoup

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 21,525 | Chapters: 5/5

Tags: Angelic Possession, Consensual Possession, basically possession (romantic), Trials of Hell, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Trauma From Lucifer's Cage, Sam Winchester Has an Eating Disorder, a minor point but i wanted to mention it, references to honey!cas, Developing Relationship, Romantic Fluff, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Body, includes art!! [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Sam's sickness worsens after the second trial, resulting in him being rushed to the hospital, the extensive damage has left Sam drained of his fight. To continue with the trials Sam must allow Castiel to heal him, by possessing him. While having an alien home under his skin is nothing new for Sam, Castiel's constant presence unwittingly unburies a host of issues. Two people desperate for forgiveness in the same body should get crowded at times but between the nightmares, the sickness, and the blood; there are some cookies, a quiet beach on the coast of Oregon, and a chance at something new between them.

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16. ficlet - sastiel, a/b/o dynamics by wrenseroticlibrary_archivist

[also on tumblr]

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 580 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Post-Season/Series 08, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Fallen Angel Castiel, Mating Cycles/In Heat, First Time, Porn, Ficlet, Alpha Castiel, Omega Sam Winchester

Summary: When Castiel had Fallen, he’d clearly become an alpha.

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17. Stay in Touch by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 6,310 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Post-Episode: s09e06 Heaven Can't Wait, Missing Scene, Human Castiel, Newly Human Castiel, Love Confessions, Not Actually Unrequited Love, First Kiss, First Time, Masturbation, Sexually Inexperienced Castiel, Castiel and Sam Winchester in Love, Sastiel - Freeform

Summary: Concerned about newly-human Castiel's decision to leave the Bunker on his own, Sam sets out for Idaho to find his best friend - and get some answers for himself.

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18. Angels and Answers by klove0511

Part 1 of Milestones 'verse

M/M | Rating: Explicit | Rape/Non-Con | Words: 15,190 Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Possessed Sam Winchester, Memory Alteration, Human Castiel, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, First Time Blow Jobs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence, Sam Winchester Has Self-Esteem Issues, Castiel Has Self-Esteem Issues, Alternate Season/Series 09, Winchester communication skills

Summary: Cas has discovered his sexuality as a human when the Winchesters bring him to the bunker, and he and Sam fall into bed together. When Gadreel forces Dean to drive Cas away, the two must find their way back to each other, freeing Sam from Gadreel in the process.

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19. So polite by bloodandcream

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,174 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season 9, Angst, Sam topping from the bottom, Erectile Dysfunction

Summary: “Please,” was whispered into his mouth. So polite. Sam was in control here.

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20. Had Worse by posingasme

Gen, M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,687 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Bunker Fic, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Sam has a very high threshold for pain, and an iron will. So this current hunting injury, even with its weird attack on his view of reality, is nothing compared to what he has been through in the past. He’s had worse. But that does nothing to reassure those who love him.

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21. I'm always dragging that horse around by Trojie

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,499 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Unrequited Wincest, Unrequited Destiel, Enochian, Phobias, Hell Trauma, Season/Series 09, Episode: s09e11 First Born, Angel Healing, Implied Wincestiel, Hopeful Ending

Summary: Sam has a horror of angels and Cas has a compulsion to heal. It doesn't help that they speak the same languages, or that Dean is elsewhere - somehow he's always between them, and somehow they still have to meet in the middle.

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22. The Best Medicine by sarasaurusrex

Multi | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,247 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Comfort, Fluff, Depressed Sam Winchester, Season/Series 09, Misunderstandings, Castiel Takes Care of Sam Winchester, Established Castiel/Sam Winchester, Domestic Fluff

Summary: Castiel confuses Sam’s symptoms of depression with symptoms of the flu and tries to help. Set mid season 9.

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23. anything you need, that's what i'll be by starlightswait

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,092 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Dissociation, Bodily Autonomy, Season/Series 09, Aftermath of Possession, Post-Episode: s09e11 First Born, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm, Food Issues

Summary: There is a strange discomfort in healing Sam in the days that follow Dean’s departure.

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24. muscle memory by hellsreluctantheir

Part 2 of touch - Sam's POV s7 - s9

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,830 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season/Series 07, Season/Series 09

Summary: Sam lost his soul, slept with an angel, got his soul back, lost his memory, and then lost his mind before they could have a conversation about it. It's fine. The Hell trauma is gone, and he's coping. Even when Castiel comes back, he'll continue to cope.

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25. Divine by Matthew1972

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 8,120 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: POV Sam Winchester, Protective Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Kissing, First Time, Porn with Feelings, Anal Sex, Bottom Sam Winchester, Top Castiel, Bottoming from the Top, Angelic Grace Play, Angel Wings, Morning Sex, Oral Sex

Summary: Coda/AU scene to episode S09E11, First Born. "But nothing is worth losing you", Castiel shows that what he said was something he meant. Held safe in his arms and wings Sam learns the stunning truth about 'his' angel. How he heals the pain inside of him with something more than trust, care and touch.

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26. Even If We Can't Find Heaven by ellerkay

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 8,044 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Having Faith, Loss of Faith, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Pining

Summary: Sam finds his faith and loses it and finds it again, albeit in a very different form. A Sastiel love story and exploration of Sam’s faith and spirituality. [Note: prayer during sex🙏]

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27. Table For Two by the_diving_fox

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,775 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: somewhere in s9, Human Castiel, valentine's day fic, POV Outsider

Summary: A tired waitress at Ann's Diner happens to serve Sam and Castiel amidst all the other obnoxious Valentine's Day couples. Sam and Castiel manage to surprise her, though.

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28. Two Beat Up Humans by PacJazz

M/M, Multi | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,863 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Fluff and Angst, Pre-Slash, PTSD, Post-Gadreel, Human!Castiel, Hurt Sam Winchester, Post-trials with no angel healing hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Season/Series 09, Nightmares, Domestic Fluff, Hair Brushing, Insomnia, No Smut, Enochian-Speaking Sam Winchester, Sleepiness, Literal Sleeping Together [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Both broken, yet eager to help the other heal.... Sam and Cas are living in the bunker now, sans-dean after the gadreel betrayal. Cas is newly Human now, and while he needs some help learning the intricacies of that, Sam needs some help healing. They both share things, and think through what they've lost. *In slight AU where post-gadreel Sam is living in the bunker with newly human Castiel*

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29. A Crucifixion Without A Christ by angelshotgun

M/M | Rating: Explicit | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con | Words: 18,501 | Chapters: 10/10

Tags: Angelic Possession, Castiel's Angelic Grace, Major Character Injury, Hurt Sam Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hell Trauma, Sam Winchester is Loved, Hurt Castiel, Guilty Castiel, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sam Winchester Needs a Hug, voicemail fixit, Post-Gadreel, Trust Issues, Sam Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Hunter Retirement [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: When Sam Winchester is badly injured on a hunt, Cas has to possess him to keep him alive and help him heal. And though Sam agreed to let him in, Cas is acutely aware of how many times Sam has had his bodily autonomy taken away from him, and how much Cas himself has contributed to Sam's pain. And now that he's inside Sam's head? Well, he tries to be as unobtrusive as possible, but Sam is just... traumatized. And hurting. Maybe, he thinks, maybe this is his chance to put aside his own feelings for Sam to help heal the hurts he had a hand in creating?

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30. Moments of Madness by orphan_account

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,140 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season/Series 10, ish, Canon Compliant, Enochian-Speaking Sam Winchester, Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Trauma From Lucifer's Cage, Protective Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Sam Winchester, Kissing, Fluff

Summary: It just happens, the first time. Dean's a Demon, and Sam's so alone. The next times?

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31. Blankets by mako_lies (wingeddserpent)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,212 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Episode: s10e01 Black, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt Castiel

Summary: Sam and Cas try to take care of one another.

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32. Situational Failure (The Chicken Soup Remix) by StripySock

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 2,540 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season/Series 10, Remix, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt Castiel, Sickfic, Frottage

Summary: There is a fear in Cas that if he lets Sam make himself at home in all of the places that Dean had declined to fill, he will lose the ability to ever refuse it again.  Or: Sam is sick, Cas is failing, and Dean is nowhere to be found. [implied unrequited destiel]

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33. Feathers Falling by posingasme

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 13,144 | Chapters: 6/6

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angel Wings, Castiel in the Bunker, Permanent Injury, Protective Sam Winchester, Hurt Castiel, Fever, Delirium, Castiel & Charlie Bradbury Friendship, Alternate Canon, Season/Series 10, Angst [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Castiel has been hurt, but he won't reveal how bad it is. Sam distracts him from the pain by reading him classic love stories, and Cas just doesn’t think any of them depict a love as strong as theirs.

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34. Since When Does Sam Have PLANS? by Fae-and-night (goodgirlgonegeek16)

Gen | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 343 | Chapters: 1/1

Summary: "Dean’s POV on Sastiel, late seasons Sastiel, the ‘mistaken for a couple’ trope.

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35. Keep You from the Gallows Pole by Fallynleaf

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 7,337 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Alternate Season/Series 10 Finale, Mark of Cain Cure, Charlie Lives, Implied Unrequited Destiel, Implied Unrequited Wincest, Implied Wincestiel, Asexual Relationship [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Season 10, if it were the love story of Sam and Cas.

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36. Episode 199.5 by posingasme

Part 1 of Before 200...

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 56,473 | Chapters: 20/20

Tags: Mark of Cain, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Stolen Grace, Protective Dean Winchester, Demon Blood, BAMF Castiel, Sam Winchester on Demon Blood, Alternate Angel Lore, Canon-Typical Violence, Torture, Dean Winchester Bears the Mark of Cain, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Guilt

Summary: Dean is dealing with guilt, and fear of losing control to the Mark again. Castiel has new Grace, but eventually, it will burn out just as before. Sam just wants a fresh start all around. Life in the bunker is getting a bit...crowded. Memories and tempers are boiling over, along with something that has been heating up for a long time. Things get nasty when an old foe comes for Sam, and it's all hands on deck.

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37. Wingman by posingasme

Part 2 of Before 200...

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 65,222 | Chapters: 21/21

Tags: Spoilers, Mark of Cain, Dreams and Nightmares, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Psychological Torture, Canon-Typical Violence, Dean Winchester Bears the Mark of Cain, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Self-Destructive Dean Winchester

Summary: Now that Sam and Castiel have been honest with one another, and Dean has given his blessing, the two are forced into the awkward stage of figuring out where to go from here. Dean is still battling against the Mark, and his anxiety manifests in various ways, some of which are healthier than others.

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38. Sentimental Iterations by fabella

M/M | Rating: Explicit | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 33,370 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Future Fic, Season/Series 11, Season/Series 10, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Betrayal, Deception, Winchester Style Death (Not Typical Death), Semi Curtain Fic, Resolved Sexual Tension, Anal Sex, Rimming, Bottom Sam, Oral Sex, Sam is a big damn hero, Castiel-centric, Human Castiel, Big Brother Dean, Angst, Hurt Sam Winchester, Mental Instability, Sacrifice, Brother Feels, Grief/Mourning [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Castiel learned everything he knows about devotion from the Winchesters. In this peaceful future built on the back of Sam Winchester’s most recent sacrifice, Castiel discovers that death itself can be overcome. If he’s willing to pay the price. [Notes: Set after season 10. An entirely different take on season 11.]

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39. Sam's Room by NobleHouseOfBlack

M/M | Rating: Not Rated | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,864 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: No Dialogue, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Platonic Cuddling, Feel-good

Summary: Sam's room in the bunker didn't seem like his room. He slept there occasionally but there was nothing that would indicate he lived there.

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40. The Devil’s Gonna Let On That You’re In The Details by sahwen

M/M | Rating: Not Rated | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 3,055 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lucifer Possessing Castiel, Post-Episode: s11e10 The Devil in the Details, Episode: s11e14 The Vessel, Post-Episode: s11e14 The Vessel, Season/Series 12, this fic spans across a lot of time, Hook-Up, Sam Winchester Has Mental Health Issues, Trauma, Protective Dean Winchester, Supportive Dean, Post-Possession

Summary: Sam and Cas have been hooking up casually for a while when something feels off to Sam. He’s sure it’s just his mind playing tricks on him.

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41. Loved by the Devil, loved by an angel by N_13

Part 1 of Of this damned reality

M/M | Rating: Mature | Rape/Non-Con | Words: 3,076 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Rape/Non-con Elements, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, everybody needs a hug, and therapy, Hurt/very little comfort, Unhealthy Relationships, No really every relationship in this is fucked up on some level, Hurt Sam Winchester, Season/Series 11, Lucifer Possessing Castiel, Enochian-Speaking Sam Winchester

Summary: Cas has loved Sam for quite some time. Then he said yes to Lucifer and everything went to hell.

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42. Heartbreak is Savvy and Love is a Bitch by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,405 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Lapdance, Light Dom/sub, Dom Castiel, Sub Sam Winchester, Sensation Play, Post-Episode: s11e14 The Vessel, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sam Winchester Deserves to be Happy, Safewords, Sam Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Sam Winchester is Bad at Self Care, Castiel's not the most experienced dom, Established Relationship, Light Angst [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Castiel and Sam work on some fractures in their relationship. A gentle attempt at sensory play goes awry, leaving them scrambling to ratchet things back up to normal. Part of the 2020 Supernatural Kink Bingo.

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43. Thirty Years too Late by hyperbolicfae

Gen, M/M, Other | Rating: Teen+ | Rape/Non-Con | Words: 2,770 | Chapters: 2/2

Tags: Hurt Sam Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel, Aftermath of Torture, Implied Mind Rape, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Protective Mary Winchester

Summary: Mary Winchester has rescued her son. She’s just thirty years too late. Or: The aftermath of Sam’s rescue from the British Men of Letters

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44. whore of babylon by angelszn (artbabe)

M/M | Rating: Mature | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 2,465 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Infidelity, Movie Night, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Floor Sex, Non-Penetrative Sex, Drinking, Dubious Consent, Past Rape/Non-con, Guilt, Gift Exchange [contains background destiel]

Summary: “Dean is a good man, and I love him. But sometimes, I…” Cas licks his lips. “Sam, I’m afraid.” Sam should leave. He should walk away. He should run. But his body is heavy and wine-drunk, his head spins at what Cas might be hinting at. “What are you afraid of?”

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45. The One You're With by gracerene

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,397 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Unrequited Wincest, Unrequited Sastiel, Platonic Sex, Friendship, Sexually Inexperienced Castiel, Fuck Or Die, Curses, Frottage, POV Sam Winchester, Season/Series 12, Hung Sam Winchester, Present Tense

Summary: Sam knows better than to touch anything in the bunker that looks even the slightest bit suspicious. And yet…

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46. Wins & Losses by Threshie

M/M, Multi | Rating: Teen+ | Major Character Death | Words: 17,384 | Chapters: 8/8

Tags: Temporarily Dead Castiel, Heartbroken Sam Winchester, Comforting Dean Winchester, Sharing a Bed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sastiel, Wincest, Wincestiel, Poly Vee With Sam Pivot, Cuddling & Snuggling, Men of Letters Bunker, Angst with a Happy Ending, Touchy-Feely, Grieving Sam Winchester, Idiots in Love [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: A few months after Sam and Castiel start dating, the angel is killed. Still reeling from the loss of his best friend, Dean can’t just sit and watch Sam’s heartbreak slowly pull him away, too.

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47. Now I am here by Matthew1972

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 13,728 | Chapters: 5/5

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Asexual Relationship, Literal Sleeping Together, Sharing a Bed, Feelings Realization, Hugs, Boys Kissing, Case Fic, Monster Hunters, Crime Scenes, Angst, Blood, Hurt, Pagan Gods, Magic

Summary: Castiel and Sam have come to another nameless town to free it from the claws of a dark and ancient power. As they work the case their friendship grows stronger, changing into something more or does it? This, here, now… brings the confirmation they each needed.

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48. Something Good by posingasme

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,876 | Chapters: 4/4

Tags: Food Issues, showtunes, Sleep Deprivation, Hurt Sam Winchester, Sick Sam Winchester

Summary: Everyone deals with their losses in their own way, and Sam prefers to work things out on his own. But his angel friend can’t stand on the sidelines as the hunter wastes away in pain. Sam may have had a complex past, but an angel’s love is proof that he must have done something good.

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49. Something to Talk About by Fae-and-night (goodgirlgonegeek16)

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 777 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: mentions Castiel but he's not actually here, Bunker Era, Dean being a big brother, telltale hickies, Love Bites

Summary: To be honest, Sam thought it took Dean way longer than he would’ve expected to figure he and Castiel were together.

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50. Lois by posingasme

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 4,195 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Superman References (DCU), Awkward Crush, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings

Summary: Jack discovers the joy of comic books, and reminds Castiel of a time when Bobby Singer called him Superman. And Dean had an opinion about who his Lois Lane was.

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51. Happy Ain't a Two-Story Victorian, But it Might Be This by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,382 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Episode: s14e15 Peace of Mind, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fake Marriage, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Dean Winchester Tries, Family Issues, Jack Kline & Dean Winchester Bonding

Summary: Sam and Castiel have been on a mission to an Arkansas hamlet, and they haven't checked in. When Dean and Jack trail them to a quiet street in Charming Acres, what they find is nothing like either of them expected. To be honest, cleaning out a nest of vampires might be easier than this, but Dean's going to give it the old college try. Whatever that means.

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52. Milestones and Misunderstandings by klove0511

Part 2 of Milestones 'verse

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,711 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: mildly homophobic!Mary, inappropriate anniversary gifts, protective!Dean, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Season/Series 14, Fluff, Tumblr Prompt, Oblivious!Dean

Summary: There is something different about Sam and Cass. The lingering stares, the intimate touches. The careful whispers and secret smiles. Dean knew it. He was going to get to the bottom of it, one way or another.

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53. Stricta Dormire by klove0511

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Major Character Death | Words: 3,583 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Temporary Character Death, Fairy Tale Type Death, Established Relationship, Hurt Sam Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hell Trauma, Season/Series 14 Spoilers, Sad Dean Winchester, Sad Castiel, Grief/Mourning, True Love's Kiss

Summary: When Sam is hit by a spell, Cass is the only one that can save him. Meanwhile, Dean is grieving his brother, unaware of the struggle going on within Sam’s mind.

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54. Roadhouse Rough by posingasme

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 12,738 | Chapters: 10/10

Tags: Curtain Fic, Alcohol, Hurt Sam Winchester, Retired Hunter Sam Winchester, Bartender Sam Winchester, Permanent Injury

Summary: The last tangle with the last archangel ended with an act of spite, from which Sam will never recover. Lucifer’s bitter parting gift to his wayward vessel means Sam’s forced retirement. He runs the hub from his very own Roadhouse, and watches over a powered-down nephilim, while a weakened but recovering Castiel hunts at Dean’s side. It’s a rough life, but someone’s got to do it.

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55. Familiar Spirits by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 6,619 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Wisconsin - Freeform, The Beast of Bray Road, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Season/Series 15, Monster of the Week, Case Fic, Sastiel Secret Santa Exchange, Sastiel - Freeform, Sastiel Secret Santa 2019

Summary: Fills in a little gap of time between 15-7 and 15-8. Sam's on the hunt for Eileen, and winds up on a case in the middle of Wisconsin in December. What seems like a straightforward case of werewolves gets out of hand, when the werewolves turn out to be something Sam's never encountered before. It's Castiel to the rescue, but in the middle of the night in a refrigerator of a forest, one wrong move could be the last one they ever make.

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56. a rock with a hole in it by De_Nugis

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 11,052 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: faerie - Freeform, possibly in some way a Canadian shack fic, except Faerie, Consent Issues, animal death (hunting), Unrequited Destiel, Soulless Sam Winchester, POV Castiel

Summary: Castiel walks back into Faerie with Sam's soul in a jar in his pocket.

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57. Right Now by spideybegins

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,512 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Hurt Sam Winchester, Comforting Castiel, samcas, Sastiel - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Season/Series 15, Angst, Crying Sam Winchester, Don’t Look at These Messy Tags, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, no beta we die like men

Summary: The one where Cas hears Sam crying and realizes he’s been avoiding the youngest Winchester for much too long. Set somewhere in season 15.

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58. It’s Good to Be Here Again, With You by raisinghellonstarbug

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,240 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Canon Compliant, Reunions, Mentioned Dean Winchester, Fluff and Angst, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Sharing a Bed, Season/Series 15, Episode: s15e07 Last Call

Summary: Sam is missing Castiel and doesn't understand why he left. He knows Dean has something to do with it. But then he shows back up just in time before Sam's in real trouble.

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59. wishing too hard for them to stay by angelfishofthelord

Gen | Rating: Not Rated | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 1,727 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Episode s15e17 coda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, One Shot, Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Speculation, POV First Person, POV Sam Winchester [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: You tell me you’re doing to die, and I don’t yell at you. Instead I say, “Let’s go for a walk.”

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⚠️ Unfinished Fic - last updated in 2013

60. Of Blood And Water by lovedsammy

M/M, Gen | Rating: Mature | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 20,081 Chapters: 7/?

Tags: 8x23, Fallen Angels, Post Season/Series 08, Hurt/Comfort, Family, Romance, Angst, fallen!cas, Hurt!Sam, Hurt!Cas, Slash, stigmata!sam, Stigmata, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, AU, Season/Series 9 canon divergent, Friendship

Summary: Now AU to season 9! Post-8x23, "Sacrifice". Both of them were wounded, broken, in need of repair; both of them had done things in the name of the greater good and had ultimately failed and caused something or another to bend and break and destroy upon itself. They'd both wrecked themselves to achieve an end, and in turn wrecked others. But they couldn't have been more than two opposites on the end of the spectrum that somehow aligned at the middle-point, and now there was no going back.

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💜💀🖤 Self Rec 💜💀🖤

(because this is a list of my favs, and I wrote it for me)

61. grief and husbands on the interstate by ladygizarme

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,787 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: background wincest, background wincestiel - Freeform, they're a polycule but they're sam-centered, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Rimming, Bottom Sam Winchester, Spit As Lube, Wound Tending, Episode: s14e01 Stranger in a Strange Land, part coda, Part fix-it, Polyamory, Anal Sex

Summary: En route from Detroit back to the bunker, Cas makes them stop at a motel. Sam is exhausted, and so is everybody else. But right now, Castiel's priority is Sam, and he knows just what he needs. Part coda, part fix-it to 14x01.

#my rec list #sastiel #sastiel fanfiction #sam and cas #spn fanfiction #sastiel for bibros #sastiel for multishippers #sam whump #hurt/comfort #canon adjacent #caretaker!cas #caretaker!sam #canon sastiel #as in sastiel set during canon #outsider pov #unrequited destiel #wincestiel #unrequited wincest #spn fic recs #sastiel fic recs #sam + faith #boyking!sam

[bloodfreakpropaganda]

once again, im going through it, guys

#sam winchester #spn #spn fics #ff.net #save me early spn fics on ff.net #sam whump #nah bc why do they go so hard #5 chapters and enough emotional damage to forever implanted in my brain

[ro-sham-no]

lines from "chemical kids and mechanical brides" - pierce the veil

I’m a chemical kid, you’re a mechanical bride

Sam about Dean, whom John treats like his obligatory bride, like Mary, raising his son for him, cleaning up his messes.

“Chemical kid,” the perfect term for how Sam sees himself compared to Dean, the mechanical bride, the perfect soldier. Dean, who effortlessly falls in line with their father’s orders, tends to his wants and needs as part of the harmony of a nuclear marriage. All the while Sam stumbles along, never quite understanding the mission, the goal. Always a half-step out of place, always questioning things in a way he can’t help, left at a disadvantage without the coercive devotion of a father-husband to guide his hand. 

Just a chemical kid left in the back seat, left in the dark; a rough acid mixture scrambled together from a vat of molecules, all collectively disjointed and not quite right. Sam, the chemical kid who has a brother and a drill sergeant posing as his mother and father together in the front seat. 

I held a diamond to the sun, to count the moments on account of the way you smile for me.

Oh, we’re in slow motion when you smile, for me.

As a kid, Sam falls in puppy love with Dean, not yet disillusioned to big brother’s imperfections. As far as Sam is concerned, Dean is the perfect, all-American boy next door. Sam doesn’t see him smoking, doesn’t see big brother make pretty, too-young girls squirm from his attention, at their father’s behest. Can’t yet recognize the smell of spirits on his breath, doesn’t know what that means.

I still hold your breath so you won’t leave

Then comes the break, the beginning of the end. Sam starts to make the connection between the smell on Dean’s breath and the sloppy way he talks when that smell is around. Connecting it to the same smell that’s sometimes on John’s breath - usually better hidden, he learns - and to the always too-quickly diminishing supply of “disinfectant” in the med kit.

He makes those connections and he panics and starts to grip tighter to his brother-boyfriend, not realizing that his devotion, that his cloying behavior is what’s breaking Dean’s heart in the first place. Doesn’t realize it’s driving him to desperately try and snap Sam out of that puppy-love, entirely sickening in the way it makes Dean feel far too much like their father, like Dean’s husband.

Dean tries wretchedly to keep Sam from the fate of becoming a mechanical bride to his brother, one that Dean never asked for but one that he knows he would selfishly never be able to let go, once it happened, once the marriage vows solidified.

Pastel red and pornstar white,

Ghost on the altar.

We breathe, don’t leave.

The eternal chorus of their combined lives. Breathing to each other in the dark, unacknowledged, “Don’t leave.”

If there’s a God then I’m letting Him go, all for you, you alone.

Raise my hands at the thought of you leaving me alone,

What if I… What if I… What if I, I still care?

All too soon, Sam grows up and realizes that Dean knows, at least a little bit. Realizes that it’s killing him. So Sam tries, for Dean’s sake, to move on, to stop breaking his brother’s heart with the curse of his little brother’s horrific love and affection. 

But it doesn’t work.

Sam knows it’s wrong, to love Dean, to love his mother, this way. To crave the taste of his breath in the morning. To yearn for the knowledge of what his name sounds like leaving his brother’s breathless lips in the dark. He knows he needs to let go. He tries praying, tries distancing himself in the exact opposite way to how Dean does it, so they don’t run into each other. He throws himself into a private, secret faith, into schoolwork, into bettering himself - trying to purify his body, trying to cleanse it.

But it doesn’t work, of course. It doesn’t work. 

And his efforts make his heart break so violently he’s ill with it, entirely sure in the knowledge that it’s killing him. And he knows that, beyond anything, that would kill Dean, for good, so he knows he has to avoid it at all costs. He tells himself that he’s not biased in that decision.

He keeps up his new habits - because it seems to make Dean secretly happy to see his rebellious normality, and that’s the goal, after all. But privately, in the dark, away from the prying eyes of the divine fraternal, he admits that he’s giving up on stifling his devotion. He stops pretending he doesn’t feel that arm-raising panic every time Dean walks out the door to go to the bar, leaving him all alone, and he stops pretending he doesn’t still care. 

And he stops pretending that it doesn’t feel like infidelity when Dean comes home with the drugstore lipstick stains of some two-bit whore all over him. Finally stops pretending that Dean coming home, drunkenly (and mistakenly, surely) falling asleep in Sam’s bed while smelling like whiskey, sweat, and sex doesn’t have Sam jacking off furiously at every opportunity for days afterward.

As you fall fast asleep, it reminds me of the slow symphonies behind me, all the nightmares you’ll see, tomorrow.

Through the trees, I’ll blow.

But then it’s noon, and that means Sam’s inconsolable. It’s noon at midnight, with a Greyhound bus hurtling towards the no-name town they currently reside in, 4 hours out. Sam already bought a ticket.

It’s noon at midnight, and Sam watches as Dean falls fast asleep, reminding Sam of the slow symphonies of love, far behind him now. He thinks of the nightmares he knows Dean will see tomorrow after he wakes up to find all of Sam and all of his stuff missing. He thinks of how Dean will frantically search for him, of how he’ll find the note Sam’s gonna leave on the bathroom mirror. 

Thinks of how Dean’s gonna find out about the ultimatum John gave Sam in a fight they had all too recently, on one of the rare afternoons they were both in the motel and Dean wasn’t. Thinks of how John will tell him, once Dean cries hard enough; always a big, tough marine until he sees the teary-eyed likeness of his dead wife pasted onto the face of his eldest son. Crumpling fiercely, fervently in the face of Mary-Dean’s grief, betraying the vow of silence Sam had twisted out of him that afternoon in an instant. 

But that’s okay, Sam thinks as Dean’s breaths gently even out. That’s okay because, by the time that coerced vow is broken, Sam will be long gone, less tangible than a wisp of wind blowing through the trees.

#YES i still listen to emo punk #NO i'm not ashamed of it #pierce the veil #my beloved #( #spn #wincest #deanjohn #< barely lol #sam whump #sam winchester #chemical kids and mechanical brides - pierce the veil #with a little #richard siken #reference thrown in there at the end LOL #)

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

Whump Drabble

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester

Sam woke up half sprawled across a dank, cold floor, hands chained to the concrete wall above his head, shackles already cutting into his wrists, stinging and sticky with drying blood.

The rest of the room was dark and hard to pull into focus. He tried to blink but only one of his eyes would even open. Well, that at least shed some light on why that side of his face felt weirdly numb and prickly warm, it was swollen tight. His knees were scrapped up pretty bad, jeans torn and bloody. He shifted, testing, and pain radiated through his side from his lower ribs, not good, felt like something had cracked. There was blood in his mouth and a couple of his teeth felt a bit loose. But all of his fingers wiggled and both feet flexed when he tried them, nothing dislocated and nothing outside of his torso seemed broken. 

Taking a breath to steady himself, he grabbed the chains above him and pulled, they held fast. So he pulled again and pushed himself up with his legs. Everything hurt, he was going to be one giant bruise if he made it until tomorrow.

He’d fucked up, big time, he knew. He’d stormed off, muttering curses of being able to take care of himself over his shoulder on his way out the door and within 10 short hours had gotten himself fucking captured. Dean was going to explode and he was never going to hear the end of it… If he was lucky enough to ever hear Dean say anything to him again. If he was, then he would find a way to be grateful to get chewed out and teased for the rest of forever. 

He just had to get out of this.

Standing and facing the wall he examined, as well as he could through one eye, the shackles holding him. They were snug, no way he’d be able to slip them, even if he dislocated his thumbs. Shit. The chain itself was solid and shiny, no more than a couple years old. The chains were attached to a ring that was bolted into the wall, the concrete chipped and powdery, seemed the weakest point. He grabbed the chain with both hands and bracing one foot against the wall, pulled hard. Fire ignited in his side, definitely a broken rib, and he pressed his arm against that side, trying to brace it while he pulled again. The pain doubled him over, panting for breath, afraid to breathe too deeply. 

He thought about it while waiting for the pain to ebb back, willing his heart rate to slow down. He switched legs and shifted his stance, aiming for a better angle to brace against the wall without immediately tensing the wrong muscle groups, and pulled again. No give. He dropped his leg and sagged to the side, leaning against the wall on his less injured side. Maybe he could use the edge of the shackles to chip away around the ring? 

While he was catching his breath and trying to determine how to hit the wall with a protruding part of the tight metal cuffs, a loud bang from somewhere off in the building above him made him flinch. Looking around, he still couldn’t see much, it was too dark and his head was swimming with more than just labored breathing and exertion. Great, he thought and added head trauma to his catalog of injuries. But beyond the immediate stretch of wall here, he couldn’t make out any other details of the room he was in, just darkness lurking all around. 

Another bang, this one louder than the previous, a gunshot… shotgun seemed most likely. Sam listened. Faint noises from far off, footsteps then scuffling, another blast from the shotgun (he was sure of the sound now).

“Dea…” He had already forgotten about his ribs and the pain from filling his lungs to shout hit him by surprise. 

A splintering crash shook the air and light spilled in from across the room.

“Dean?” he managed to say, not nearly as loudly as he’d intended.

“Sam!” and a beam of light swept the room.

The relief that flooded him dropped him to his knees. Scraped raw already they complained but he was beyond caring. Dean had found him.

“Over here.” 

Light blinded him. Footsteps, heavy and sure, closed the distance between them.

“Sammy? Jesus, Sam.” His concern hit like a punch to Sam’s gut.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I’m sorry, I fucked up.”

“Hey? Look at me.” The flashlight shone in his face as Dean’s hand lifted his chin. Sam knew he was being checked over, tried to keep his eye open, but the light was so bright, his head suddenly pounding. Then Dean was checking the rest of him, hands patting him down, looking for and taking stock of wounds, finding the chains and following them to the wall. Dean tucked his sawed off under his arm and reached behind himself, pulling out his handgun. “Watch out.”

Sam closed his eye and turned away. The gunshot sharply echoing in the cavernous room, making his ears ring.

“Son of a bitch. One more.” and another shot split Sam’s headache to a whole new level of horribleness. A rattling yank on the chains, “Come on!” Dean grunted as he pulled, swearing under his breath.

Sam’s legs were threatening to turn to jelly but he was able to get them under him and pushed back up. He gripped the chains too and added his weight to pulling, ignoring the sickening, crunchy grind in his ribcage.

“That’s it, come on, little more!” 

The metal ring twisted, broken ends where Dean had shot it, pried slowly apart until Dean stopped pulling. “Got it! Relax, Sammy.”

Sam slumped against the wall as Dean freed the chain from the wall. Then the light was back on him briefly.

“You okay?”

“Couple of broken ribs, left side. Probably a concussion.” Sam’s stomach gave a violent lurch which he swallowed down. “Definitely a concussion.”

“Ok, that’s ok. We can deal with that. Can you walk?”

“Yeah.” Sam stood up and took a step away from the wall only to get caught by Dean as gravity shifted sideways suddenly.

“Whoa, whoa. Easy.”

A floodgate seemed to open inside him, tears welled up in his good eye, stung like a bitch in his other. His legs started to give out again. “I’m so sorry, Dean. I should’ve listened to you.”

“No shit, dumbass.” But there was no venom in the words and Dean’s arms were around him, keeping him from falling, and he gave a gentle pat to the back of Sam’s head as he hugged him. “I’m just glad you’re ok. Now come on, don’t make me carry your gargantuan ass outta here. Here we go.” And he shifted so Sam’s arm was over his shoulders as he turned them both towards the door.

#trying to write more so since the prompt actually prompted an idea I went with it #sam whump #spn drabble #sam winchester #it might be whump but Sam is still a fucking beast #dean winchester #I ran into technical difficulties trying to reblog the original post so added a screencap of the prompt instead #studyofwhump #whump prompt 254

[panicroomsammy]

for made up fic title: rough night

My first thoughts were crack fic ones, but I’ve been on such a dark fic kick when it comes to my own writing lately that I think I’d have to go with something angstier.

Um okay so I just spent almost an hour writing this ficlet???

Sam is past the point of feeling tired. His eyes just hurt, that gritty feeling that people describe as sandpaper, and sure, that’s not wrong, but it doesn’t feel strong enough in Sam’s opinion. Gravel, maybe. Not sandpaper. The feeling that used to be “tired” is now just a state of dissociation, a numbness that makes the world around him a little blurrier but that doesn’t really impact his ability to interact with it. He knows he wouldn’t be able to sleep right now if he tried - he’s had nights like this his whole life. High school - staying up late to finish home after training drills all afternoon he would start out angry and lose all ability to feel by midnight, and when he got that way he knew sleep would be impossible - even if his homework wasn’t either. College - all-nighters that he hadn’t meant to be all-nighters. He’d tried to go to sleep but his heart kept racing and his brain would convince him that the rattling AC was a ghost on instinct every time he’d almost drifted off. So he knew well enough by now that he could keep reading the lore book in front of him and in fact he really didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. This wasn’t a problem, really. His body sometimes went into a panic mode where it would stay awake and this had surely saved his life more than once; what it meant now was really just that he could get more done.

Under normal circumstances, Dean’s hand on his shoulder would have made him jump. He fully registered the touch, but right now he just barely turned his head, the dissociative numbness itself seeming to have calculated that Dean was not a threat.

“Hey,” Dean said, voice scratchy with disuse - they’d been reading for hours without saying a word. “Put that down for a moment.”

Sam turned more fully to look at Dean. He tried to speak and his voice caught on the first word. He cleared his throat.

“What time is it?”

“2:00 AM.”

Dean tugged Sam out of his chair to sit on the floor and followed him down, communicating with his touch rather than words. For things like this they barely needed words - they each knew when they other was having a rough night, among a million other things that were so intrinsic there wasn’t even a need to think about them - and right now neither of them felt all that much like talking.

Dean sat behind Sam, Dean’s back against the table leg - uncomfortable but it’s not like either of them have been paying attention to their own discomfort for the last several hours anyway - Sam in the V of Dean’s legs, and his own bent, hands clasped between them and head down, thumbs pressing into the bridge of his nose.

Dean’s hands stroked over Sam’s hair, gentle and soothing and familiar. Just the right balance of new sensation and not so foreign as to be immediately filtered out by the dissociation. Something Dean had done for him since they were kids. Dean’s big, calloused, strong hands that were so a part of his grown-up body doing this simple gesture from childhood. Something in Sam started to wake up. Dean was here with him. Dean had always been with him and he was here with him now. A glow of warmth started in his chest and a smile started to tug at his lips. He sat up from where he had been hunched over and then leaned back so that he was resting against Dean’s chest. He knocked his head against Dean’s jaw and Dean rubbed his face into Sam’s hair.

They sat there like that for a moment before Dean grunted and pulled them both so they were lying on the floor. It wasn’t comfortable but it was better than the table leg. They fell asleep like that, curled loosely around each other.

#wincest #weirdcest #wincest ficlet #samdean hurt/comfort #sam whump #queer platonic samdean

[missshezz]

Flamingoes

Title: Flamingoes

Rating: Teens and Up

Warnings: canon typical violence as Sam and Dean get hurt

Word Count: ~1790

Tags: Pick a Season, Dean x Reader (loosely), mild flirting, whump, Dean whump, Sam whump, humor, angst, drama, YOU is reader, hunt of the week type story

Summary: You don’t expect to leave your house and find Dean Winchester bleeding out all over your lawn flamingoes…

For @badthingshappenbingo prompt: confined to bed rest

You aren’t expecting to walk out your front door and find someone facedown in your lawn flamingoes. 

Not at five in the morning, anyway. 

The only time you tend to walk out your door and discover someone passed out on your lawn is when the odd frat boy who partied hard the night before didn’t make it back to their off-campus housing before they lost consciousness. 

University is on winter break, however. 

All the partying concluded a week ago, in fact. 

Without anyone taking a nap in your flamingoes. 

Curious as to who this person was, why they were facedown in your lawn display, and how they ended up there, you set your purse and travel mug on the porch and meander over to investigate. 

You smell the blood soon as you get within a foot of their prostrate form. 

Alarm shoots through you and your belly clenches. 

Reports of wild dogs attacking people has been headline news for the last few weeks. 

You, yourself, treated a few victims for bite wounds, in fact. 

Once you turn the injured person — a man, you quickly realize — over, though, you realize he hasn’t been attacked by wild dogs. 

No, whoever this fella was, he’s had the absolute crap beaten outta him. 

One eye is swollen completely shut, blood trickles from his nose, and there’s small rips in his lip and right cheek barely crusted over.

He likely had internal injuries, as well.

Most alarming, though, is the large laceration you discover on his right side. 

“Shit…” you breathe out as you sit back on your heels, eyes glued to that ugly gash, brain a whirlwind of thoughts, and fingers rattling with nervous energy. “Shit shit shit…” 

He needs more help than you can give him so you pull out your phone and dial 9-1-1 while checking that he is, in fact, alive. 

His pulse is faint but strong. 

A good sign despite the amount of blood he’s clearly lost. 

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” 

“I need an ambulance,” you say as you carefully peel blue plaid and a black undershirt away to get a better look at the gash. “There’s a man in my yard who has been stabbed.” 

“Is the man conscious?” 

“No.”

“Is he breathing?”

“Yes, but he has lost a lot of blood.”

“Okay, ma’am, what’s your address?” 

“1313 Mockingbird Lane.” 

“Okay, an ambulance is on the way.” 

“Thank you.” 

You return your phone to your pocket as you try to think of something you can use to staunch the blood oozing from the man’s side. 

The only thing you have that’s handy is the scarf your mom knitted you for Christmas a few years back. Knowing your mom, and how she’d say she can always knit you another scarf, you pull it off and press it to the wound.

A groan pushes by bloodless lips but the man doesn’t open his eyes. 

You find yourself oddly disappointed about that. 

Something you shouldn’t be given how the guy clung precariously to life. 

“Sammy…” you swear you hear him utter. “Sammy…”

If Sammy is a friend, family member, lover or the person who stabbed him, you dunno. 

All you can do is keep him calm while you wait for the paramedics to arrive. 

“Hold on,” you tell him as you hear sirens in the distance. “Help is on the way.” 

“Sammy…” is all he says again

Things become chaotic after the paramedics and police arrive. You find yourself answering questions as paramedics work on saving the man’s life. 

It’s not like you can tell them much. 

You only found the guy, after all. 

You agree to a search of your yard when the deputy asks if it’s okay. 

What else are you supposed to say? 

Guy is stabbed and left to die in your front yard but no, don’t canvas for clues? 

Deputies find a blood trail leading from the side of your house into the forest. 

You have no idea if they find anything else as you decide to follow the ambulance to the hospital. 

You tell yourself it’s because you need to get to work, anyway, but the truth is you kinda feel responsible for the guy. 

He was left to bleed out in your flamingoes, after all. 

You feel as if you’ve been hit by a bolt of lightning when Nan comes over to tell you the fella woke up long enough to tell her his name’s Dean. 

“Dean?” Your brow furrows as that name bounces around inside your head. You know of a guy named Dean but there’s no way this guy and that one are one in the same. The odds of that are simply too astronomical. “Did he say his last name is Winchester?”

“Yes.” One of Nan’s brow quirks. “I thought you said you didn’t know him?” 

“I don’t.” 

“How’d you know his name then?”

“One in a million guess.” More like one in a million chances of an event like this happening. “He’s the son of a guy my uncle Brody worked with when he was living in Lawrence, Kansas.” Your lips purse. “John is his name, I think.” 

Who, you realize now with a curl of dread, also had a son named Sam. 

One that might’ve affectionately been called Sammy by his brother. 

“He has a younger brother,” you tell Nan. “Sam.” 

“He asked about someone named Sam right before we took him into the OR.” A worried expression crossed Nan’s face. “Do you think his brother might have been attacked, too?” 

“It’s a possibility.” You pull your phone from your pocket. “I’m going to call the deputy still at the scene and let him know there might be another victim.” 

Another victim is rushed into the ER before you dial the number.  

You let out a small gasp as they roll him by on the stretcher. 

You don’t need a degree in criminology to figure out this is Sam Winchester. 

His face looks as if it was used as a punching bag by Mike Tyson. One eye is already turning black while the other looks as it is not too far behind. 

His lower lip is puffy, the top bleeding from a cut in it. 

Bruises are already creeping black over the parts of his face not covered in blood. 

More bruises form a band around his throat from where he had obviously been choked. 

Whoever attacked the Winchesters had done so with the intent to cause them as much physical pain as possible before killing them. 

Why, you have no clue. 

Sam’s wheeled into a trauma room before you can get an idea of any other injuries he might’ve sustained. If he was as unlucky as his brother, he probably had internal injuries, as well as a laceration to either his right or left side. 

They were alive, though, and that’s what mattered, you told yourself. 

😈😈😈😈😈😈

“You don’t gotta fuss over us like this,” Dean tells you as you tuck the blanket around him. “Ain’t the first time Sammy and I got our asses kicked and it won’t be the last time, I promise you.”

“Yes, but you got your asses kicked practically in my backyard,” you say as you move the laptop Dean insisted on using despite your repeated reminders of his needing rest. “I still have the bloody flamingoes in my front yard as a reminder of where they dumped you after beating the crap out of you.”

Dean rolls those incredible green eyes of his.

“You still don’t gotta fuss over us.” 

“You just hate being confined to bed,” comes from Sam in the other bed. “Admit it.”

“No, I hate being confined to bed rest.” Dean flashes that lopsided grin of his. The one that turns your knees to jelly and your brain to mush. “I’d be perfectly content being confined to bed if I had someone in it to keep me company.” 

That someone obviously being you. 

A fact Dean’s made absolutely clear in the three days he’s been there. 

You initially thought he was pranking you by flirting with you so outrageously. 

Especially since guys like him tend to ignore you because you’re the farthest from a Kardashian as one could get. 

No, you discover Dean quite means what he says. 

Making him truly special in your books. 

“You’re in no condition for anyone to keep you company,” Sam teases lightly. “You can’t even walk to the window without her help.”

“Like you can?”

“I’m not the one hitting on our nurse.”

“You two are lucky whoever stabbed you missed your vital organs,” you interject before the argument can escalate. “Inch or two more to the left or right and neither of you would be here right now arguing over .”

“They missed on intention.” Sam grimaces as he shifts himself into a more comfortable position. “If they wanted us dead, trust me, we’d be dead.”

“That’s why you should tell Sheriff Connelly who the people are that attacked you.” 

Something you have been urging them to do since they woke up in the hospital. 

You’re beating a dead horse, however as Dean replies with his usual gruff answer. 

“We’ll handle the sons of bitches our way.”

You let the matter drop. 

Not because you in any way are conceding the argument but because it’s how hunters tend to handle things. 

Something you found out Sam and Dean are after a talk with your uncle Brody. 

Who shocks you when he tells you he’s a hunter, as well. 

You take it all in your usual stride, though. 

It’s not like you haven’t suspected the monsters in the dark are real. 

You just know now there are hunters like Sam and Dean Winchester out there stopping them. 

Well, trying to, anyway, you amend as you gather up the dirty sheets and blankets. 

“What do you boys want for supper tonight?” 

“Pie?” Dean’s eager, hopeful look has your lips twitching. “Apple?” 

His favorite you’ve come to find out. 

Something you have in common. 

Along with a love for classic rock and Scooby-Doo. 

“Good thing I baked one after breakfast,” you tease as you glance over at Sam. “Apple good for you, too?” 

“With vanilla ice cream?” He blinked those great big puppy dog eyes of his. “And caramel syrup?” 

“You got it.” 

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #dean whump #Sam whump #whump #fanfiction #supernatural gifs #sam and dean winchester #spn whump #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #gifs #flashing gif #dean x female!reader series #dean winchester x you #dean x you #Dean x reader #Sam and Dean whump #Scorp writes fanfic

[blacknidstang]

Sam Winchester pregnant............

#sorry guys im not ok im jjst thinking #of his bloody tummy or his pained face #he got devil's child inside he got it eating him up from tbe inside #spn #sam winchester #sam whump

[seanwinchester]

What do you think is the best Sam whump episode - apart from "Red Meat" - and why?

That's a great question anon! since Red Meat is probably my favorite (sorry), I'll give a few honorable mentions and why:

Keep Calm and Carry On (12x01): we get an entire episode of sam getting tortured, not just one scene, so this is like heaven to any whump enthusiast. plus we get him in every state: bloody, unconscious, sweaty, wet... what's not to love <3

Sacrifice (8x23): ...do I really need to explain it? he looks like he's absolutely dying and rotting before our eyes. and he's SO desperate and crying. and we get the wedding scene while he looks like shit. perfect.

The Born Again Identity (7x17): I have a weakness for sam in scrubs maybe... also he's both physically and mentally hurt, which is good for us, but still badass through it

The Benders (1x15): though it doesn't really count to me as whump cause he's not hurt, this is just one of my favorite episodes from the show, and I like seeing him in a cage

Skin (1x06): sam tied up in ropes!! multiple times!! and unmatched incestuous tension obviously. another favorite of mine

oh and that scene from Jump The Shark (4x19) cause. blood and stigmata (kind of), and being hurt by his own brother (kind of). also because I got genuinely scared for him watching the first time, so this is a good piece of television.

These are all well known episodes, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a lot of others, but this is just off the top of my head.

#hope this answers your question - or close enough! #I can't give just one #I know there's the one from s13 too but I haven't been rewatching s13 cause I hate it so :/ I don't remember much about the episode #sam winchester #sam whump #ask #edited the post cause I forgot skin which is criminal

[aborddelimpala]

Hi there! I am sorry to bother you with this, but I keep trying to find your post for Season 12 Sam Whump, but it doesn't come up on your tag for the season sets. Would you be able to link me to it? I absolutely adore your gifs and love the season sets immensely. Thank you for everything you do!

Sure thing hun' ! Here's the LINK

#sam whump

[samwinchesterdeservesbetter]

I am begging asking the hive mind for more Sam whump to make me go feral. Fics, fanart, whatever. I just need it lmao

#sam winchester #Sam whump #hurt!sam

[builder051]

Whumptober 2023 day (something)— I have 3 prompts planned to be in this story, but it’s going to be a long multi-chapter ordeal.

*Warning* This chapter (well, probably this whole fic) is some heavy stuff. Poor mental health, depression, passing mention of suicide, death (canonical), grief, descriptions of war (Operation Iraqi Freedom), mentions of drug use… that’s all I can think of.

This is powers/No powers.

The dreams in which I’m dying

I find it kind of funny

I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which I’m dying

Are the best I’ve ever had

I find it hard to tell you

I find it hard to take

When people run in circles

It’s a very very

Mad world

—Tears for Fears

———

There’s a water main break in Sam’s building. His apartment has escaped the damage, but the water has been turned off for the entire complex. He’s fine without access to a shower or dishwasher, but the toilet and the tap pose problems.

Well, some problems. Sam could cope with a hand-dug latrine and bottled water for his toothbrush. The Air Force deems sanitation a necessity. Clean clothes and regular bathing are only priorities in the Civilian world. The thing is, Sam’s having enough trouble with his own problems. He hasn’t been sleeping well lately. If it’s not insomnia, it’s unpleasant dreams. Neither provide the opportunity to rest and recharge. Stress is steadily building, and the monuments run is losing its meditative properties. Either that or he’s becoming treatment resistant.

Autumn in general doesn’t agree with Sam. He begins sniffling when the leaves fall and clump in wet piles to grow fungus. He doesn’t take anything for it, not even what’s available over the counter. He likes to have as little on board as possible. It’s a habit from his flying days; being mission-ready required his body to be free of substances. hasn’t shaken the habit from his flying days. The Air Force’s definition of ‘mission ready’ calls for a body to be free of substances. No beer. No Benadryl. Certainly no Prozac.

It’s calendar that gets to Sam the most, though. He’s antsy when it’s time to turns the page to the next month. The weeks and days have slipped through the autumnal equinox and the start of a new fiscal year. He tenses even more as the days pass steadily toward Halloween. Sam would throw out his calendar if he thought he could function without it, but it stays stuck to the kitchen wall. He’d forget everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries.

Sam doesn’t actually know if that’s true. It’s more of a convenient excuse. The series of dates immortalized in his mind are far from celebratory. They shouldn’t matter. It’s certainly been long enough.

The lines of squares continue to spite him, though, as he marks through through the days passed. It’s the middle of October now, and Sam is caught in the middle of an agonizing countdown.

———

Twelve.

The day Riley’s parachute didn’t open. Sam watched him flip himself over as he struggled with the cord to his backup. What was supposed to be a lifeline wound up as a death sentence. Sam watched him plummet in slow motion, foolishly believing that he’d catch Riley by the ankles if he swam through the air fast enough. But gravity and physics were against him. Against them. Sam was only halfway between the helicopter and the sand when Riley hit the ground head-first.

———

Thirteen.

The day the enemy line backed up far enough for a crew to gather what was left of the corpse. Sam wasn’t picked for the mission. He’d wandered to a table of donated books and DVDs. One corner was overtaken with teetering stack of bibles. Sam meant to glance and move on, but he found himself rooted to the spot. If he’d ever believed in god, he certainly didn’t anymore.

———

Seventeen.

The day Riley’s remains left Kandahar for Regan National. Sam had seen the open cargo hold of the sleek passenger jet, but someone in an orange safety vest jogged around the plane and slammed it shut. Too late. All he was left with was Riley’s terrified expression. That, then a view of the bottoms of his boots. However impersonal, Sam would’ve preferred to see his friend off in a long rectangular box.

———

Nineteen, or so Sam assumes. Maybe twenty. Or twenty-one.

Sam knows the time it takes to get someone to back to their hometown and into a flag-draped casket is highly variable. He’d still found the feeling of anxiety overwhelming his grief. He felt excluded, out of the loop. Then it occurred to him that he have the right to be in it. In truth, he has no ties to Riley. But that didn’t keep Sam from holing onto strings of their bond, struggling to knit them back together.

———

Twenty-four.

The day of the funeral. Sam didn’t attend. He didn’t know it had happened. He’d entertained the thought of asking for leave, but there was no way he’d be approved. He’d get two days, maybe. At most. Too little time to make it stateside, let alone attend an event for which he didn’t know the date or time. Sam’s anguish made him want to try anyway. But in the end, he let logic win out.

———

Thirty.

A letter from Riley’s grandmother showed up for Sam at the makeshift post office. The message seemed canned, though Sam didn’t doubt its sincerity. Riley had been laid to rest. Sam was a good buddy who should’ve been at the service. He was always welcome to visit. Riley was in a better place now. Arlington. Not heaven. But that was Sam’s interpretation. He should’ve folded the pages back into the envelope and placed it in his bag of personal belongings. A better man would’ve. Sam’s angry disappointment backtracked through the previous six days. The image of a flag-draped coffin disappeared in his mind to be replaced with that of an elderly woman who had just outlived her adult grandson.

———

Thirty-one.

The day Sam dropped the torn pieces of stationery into the trash outside the mess hall. He didn’t watch the shreds flutter into the bin; he’d done an about face and headed out for the day’s mission. He hated every second he rode in the rickety rear-facing seat. Sam tried to hold it together, but he threw up during the HH-60’s descent back into camp. He hadn’t done that since before PJ school.

Laying low and slinking toward his bunk had been impossible; the rest of Sam’s unit was outside enjoying cigarettes and melted chocolate bars. It took him a moment to remember the American fascination with Halloween. A boom box thumped in the background with more crackle than bass, and Sam felt sick again. It was as if he was a ghost in the middle of the crowd. Someone passed a hand-rolled cigarette his way, and the sensation of invisibility was broken. He accepted the smoke, hoping it would get the taste of bile out of his mouth. Sam swallowed a gag when he realized he’d just dragged on cannabis. As he got in position to sleep, Sam was sure he would spontaneously combust if he ever smelled pot again. And Werwolves of London should be abolished from the earth.

———

This month is passing in the same way, no different from before. Sam tries reminding himself that he’s made it through the fall and winter months for six years running. Six Octobers. Two during deployments. One at his sister’s house. Sam hadn’t been reaching out for care. He’d just needed a place to sleep before he could sign his lease on the first of November.

Spending time with relatives or squadron buddies doesn’t lift his spirits. He’s far too troubled to open up. In the presence of others, Sam feels like he’s wearing a mask to hide his dour expression. The mask isn’t held in place with straps around his ears; it’s attached with nails that dig deep into his skull. Just thinking brings on throbbing pain. And there’s no dignified way to take it off.

Sam has yet to find proper support, if that’s what he needs to feel better. He imagines an outlet where he can emote without obligation to explain himself. Something with a balance of familiarity and anonymity. Support group feels too formulaic. Sam’s loss seems to close, too personal to be dissected as part of lesson in trust falling. That’s why he prefers to be the leader. He can cue and comfort much more easily than take the plunge to share.

Per his usual, Sam’s been ignoring what’s going on inside him. His issues haven’t yet caused the choking and vertigo of a real panic attack. Those tend to be as embarrassing as they are painful; Sam feels weak and guilty knowing it all stems from heartache. He knows he’s barely hanging on, though. Sam would gladly accept orders to repel to the ground in the whipping wind of the bird’s propellers and run into the middle of a firefight. That would be easier. A welcome distraction. Instead he’s suck wallowing in his marshmallow bed and existential thoughts, lying to himself and denying the fact that he’s past dark thoughts and well into depression.

Sam knows it’s not a fault, but truly a disease. He hates the idea of his body being slowly destroyed by ravaging sickness. And he has the terrible feeling that whatever he has may be contagious. Nobody ought to be around him right now anyway. Sam’s touchiness and vulnerability are turning him into a different person, someone irritable and rude and cold. The stupid broken pipe prevents him from melting his frost in a hot shower or a cup of coffee.

Perhaps the current situation in his apartment is a sign. Even in his current state, Sam wants to be more than than a lump in his bed. A psychopathic robot in the office. His suffering isn’t bringing Riley back. He’s known that from the beginning, but he’s aware that his actions are completely contradictory. There are lifelines. Sam knows the suicide prevention hotline number by heart. He scribbles it on the back of business cards and hands them out to new faces at the VA. But Sam’s nowhere near that far gone, and chatting with nameless, faceless strangers isn’t his style.

He has people he knows. He even has friends. His motivation is the size of a mustard seed, but Sam feels the push to try again at living his own life. The first step will be getting out of his place with no plumbing.

———

#fanfic #fanfiction #marvel #mcu #whumptober 2023 #whumptober #powers/no powers #sam wilson #falcon #mental health #operation iraqi freedom #descriptions of violence #death #grief #sam whump #avengers