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the-boy-meets-evil · 5 months

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take my hands (we can fall together) | lee chan | pt. 2

(where you and chan are friends, but he's your brother's best friend. and you've always been just a little out of reach. until one season changes everything.) pairing: brother's best friend!chan (dino) x f!reader genre: friends to ??, pining, slow burn | fluff, angst, (eventual) smut rating: explicit (for the full fic) warnings/notes: mentions of unhealthy relationships (reader x boyfriend), mentions of food, mentions of drinking/alcohol, halloween parties, mentions of cheating, reader's boyfriend is an asshole, reader's brother is chan's age and reader is 2 years older, eventual smut (in pt 3 - see that for warnings), any names of other idols are considered to be OCs word count: ~7.7k (full fic is roughly 23k) a/n: huge thanks to @svthub for hosting this fall collab. check out the full list of fics here. make sure you go back and read part 1 for context, this is part 2 (so only 1 part left!). also thank you to my bby indi for creating an amazing banner @classicscreations. if you want to be tagged in the last part send an ask or dm or just comment 💕

tagging: @christinewithluv @aaniag @dejavernon @tbzhub @bitchlessdino @seungkwansphd

part 1 | masterlist | part 3

When there’s multiple nights of dressing up for Halloween, it’s harder to put as much effort into costumes. At least that’s how Chan feels about it. So, he knows that he’s taking the easy way out by dressing up as one of the Kens from the recent Barbie movie, but he’s also not really bothered about trying to come up with something more elaborate. Not when it’s a Saturday night and they’re all going to a house party. He’s got another costume planned for the night of actual Halloween that he put a little more thought into.

He’s also sure to arrive a little later, because this is one of Seokmin’s friends and Chan doesn’t really know the people hosting the party. It’s not like that matters, really. Things like this are always pretty open as long as you know someone there. Even though Seokmin said he’d be there early helping to set up, Chan still doesn’t want to be that guy that shows up at an inappropriate time. The unexpected tradeoff is that he sees you before he even gets to the front door. It’s almost comical to see that you’re dressed up as one of the Barbies from the movie. It’s hard to tell which one under your coat. Not that it’s surprising. Chan figures you won’t be the only ones to pick a Barbie theme. Still, it’s like you coordinated without even meaning to. You force a smile when you notice him, and he sees that you’re on the phone.

“What do you mean you’re not coming?” Your voice sounds angry when it reaches Chan’s ears.

He hesitates when he’s far enough away to give you space, yet still close enough that he can offer support if you need it.

“No, I always have to understand. I don’t have to understand tonight. It’s a Saturday night and we planned this party weeks ago,” you retort.

Chan figures he probably should let you be because it’s clear that you’re talking to your boyfriend. It could be a minute before this particular conversation ends. Your eyes watch Chan as he goes to step around you and you reach out to grab his arm. You mouth “please wait” to him. That’s enough to make him stop completely.

“It’s not just a stupid Fall tradition. This is Halloween. Everyone celebrates Halloween,” you start and then roll your eyes. “Yes, I’m aware that you’re 28, but what 20-something doesn’t celebrate Halloween? Be so fucking for real.”

It’s hard to know where to look because all Chan can focus on is your tone. It’s not upset or defeated. It’s angry. Maybe you’ve had something to drink already, maybe you’re just fed up. He wouldn’t blame you.

“Forget about it, Seungsik. You do whatever it is you have to do,” you say, pausing for him to speak. “Yeah, I heard you say you have to work but it’s a Saturday night. So, you do what you’re gonna do and I’ll be with my friends. Don’t bother coming over if you were even still considering it.”

Your hand is still on Chan’s arm, not that he would leave anyway. It would be awkward to stay this long only to leave when the conversation is clearly over.

“Yeah, sure, we can talk tomorrow,” you say. You don’t say a goodbye or an “I love you” before hanging up.

“Let me guess, Seungsik bailed again?” Chan asks. He knows he shouldn’t sound so snarky about your boyfriend and also doesn’t care.

“Shocking, right?” you snort.

“Well, at least you still have friends here,” Chan says and motions for you to head into the house ahead of him.

You remove your coat and Chan tries not to stare at your Mermaid Barbie costume. He removes his own jacket and your eyes show your amusement before a laugh escapes your lips.

“Looks like I still have a Ken to my Barbie, too,” you joke.

“You mean Jay didn’t tell you I was coming as Ken?” Chan jokes back.

“Wait, was he supposed to?” you worry.

“No,” Chan assures you. “I’m not sure he was even listening when we talked about costumes. This was kinda last minute.”

“Well, we should take a picture anyway, we look good together,” you suggest.

“I’m down,” Chan agrees, too quickly.

Two of you end up, mostly unintentionally, spending a lot of the party together. People that don’t know you keep assuming that you’re there together and your friends think it’s funny, so they keep poking fun. At least it means that everyone stays in a good mood. It’s a little confusing, though, because you don’t correct the people that don’t know you about being there with Chan. At one point, you do ask Chan if he’s actually okay with how close you’ve stuck to him. You make something of a joke about not wanting to keep him from anyone. It’s confusing. It tugs at Chan’s heart as a reminder that even if you’re fighting with him, you do have a boyfriend. Maybe that’s something to consider. But, he shakes it off and insists that he doesn’t mind. Your shoulders fall in relief and you admit that it’s comfortable being around him. You don’t want to talk about the argument, so it helps that Chan knows some of what happens. You like it that he doesn’t ask you too many questions that you know you can’t answer.

It’s also a little surprising that even at this house party, which is relatively small because the house isn’t huge, you and Chan are the only Barbie and Ken. It seems like everyone thought it would be too common of a costume and tried to think outside of the box. Or some people just were lazy and wanted to save their better costume for the actual night of Halloween.

“You’re glued to my sister,” Jay observes when Chan excuses himself to get a drink.

“I’m not glued, we just keep ending up together,” Chan disagrees.

“Yeah, seems kinda glued. And you came back in with her after she left to take a call,” Jay says.

“Oh, yeah, I walked up and she was talking to Seungsik. I figured I’d wait for her to come back in,” Chan says. He’s not going to tell your brother that you asked him to wait for you.

“I notice he’s not here,” Jay tries to say casually.

“He’s not coming,” Chan shares. Jay goes to open his mouth and Chan cuts him off. “I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why he’s not coming, you’ll have to ask her. But, she seemed kinda pissed off at him on the phone, so maybe let her enjoy tonight and deal with the bullshit tomorrow.”

“I’m glad she has you,” Jay says.

“Not you too,” Chan starts.

“No, I mean literally. You’ve been a good friend to her with all the bullshit over that asshole,” Jay says, irritation clear in his voice. “Wish she’d just break up with him, but if I say that, I’m being over protective.”

“I dunno, I think she’s probably closer than you realize,” Chan shrugs.

You come rushing into the kitchen. “Come on, Chan, we have to go crush it at beer pong.”

“Forgetting her brother again. Good luck, man,” Jay laughs out.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” you chide before pulling Chan away with a drink in each of his hands.

He’s more than a little thankful for Jay not calling him on making two drinks. It’s obvious when you show up that the other is for you, yet Jay just lets him be. It makes it easier for Chan to focus on beer pong. You’re at that perfect buzzed point, apparently, where you assure him that you’re going to be at your best. Even though it sounds kind of bullshit, he goes along with it.

It’s not bullshit, Chan learns two turns into the game. You sink both of your shots without even hitting the rim of the cup. Meanwhile, Chan is just thankful to make one on his second try so you don’t insist you’re carrying the team. You might be, or Chan might be a little distracted by the way you line up your shot. Might be a little distracted by the way you lean up against him. Might be a little distracted every time his arm brushes against your bare skin. Might be a little distracted by the way you celebrate with him every time either of you makes a shot. It’s easy to see why people who don’t know you assume you’re here with him. It’s harder for Chan to remember that’s not true when he’s watching you out of the corner of his eye.

After you win at beer pong, both of you find your way to a quieter part of the house. The party feels a little stifling and you want some air. Chan agrees, but it’s a little too cold to just sit outside. Instead, you settle for a quiet corner. This time you don’t ask if it’s okay to be stealing all of Chan’s time. Either because you can tell he doesn’t mind. or you’re trusting him to say if he did mind, he’s not sure.

Now that you’re a little buzzed, not drunk, just feeling a little happier, you’re ready to talk about how things are really going with Seungsik. It’s immediately a lot more honest than Chan is expecting and infinitely more heartbreaking. He’s working crazy hours, claiming that he’s up for some big promotion and has to put in the time. He’s canceling plans on you left and right. He’s making you feel silly for wanting to do all these Fall things. You feel silly for even complaining about it, but Chan interjects to remind you that it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. It’s hard to only be supportive when you’re admitting that you feel like there’s something you’ve been doing wrong and that’s why he’s doing all of this. Despite Chan insisting it’s definitely not you, he can tell that you don’t fully believe it.

It’s like you’re in this weird limbo because you’ve been dating him for over six months, which feels long enough that it’s serious. But, you’ve only been dating him for like six months, which you say also feels like you shouldn’t be overbearing. You’ve always wanted partners to have the freedom they need. Always been really adamant about maintaining your own friendships and hobbies outside of your partner. That’s important. You don’t ever want to be one of those people that gets into a relationship and forgets about their friends. Those are the people who’ve been there through all the shit. There’s a part of you that feels like that’s being used against you with Seungsik. Every time you tell him that you miss him or want him to do something, he reminds you that you suggested keeping some hobbies separate from each other. Chan is quick to tell you that there’s a difference. It sounds like he’s using your well-meaning words as an excuse to not see you as much, which is weird.

Somehow, you both come to a silent agreement that you don’t really want to dwell on your issues with Seungsik, anymore. You’re just happy to have someone that’s willing to let you vent and then let you move on. Sure, Chan shares his opinions and reminds you as often as he can get away with that you do deserve someone who values you. Then, he also lets you get away with moving the conversation on to lighter things. Even though Chan’s known you for over ten years, there’s still so much about you that he doesn’t know. And he’s not sure what’s shifted, but something definitely has. You’re much more open in the way you talk to him lately, much freer with your words. It’s comfortable, kind of like a warm blanket.

By the time the party is winding down, Chan is essentially sober, having spent so much time just sitting and talking to you. You’re still a bit buzzed, but well on your way to sobering up. Chan planned to leave his car here and pick it up tomorrow (well, later today since it’s the early hours of the morning) and instead he can drive home. He offers to give you a ride as well, which you happily take to avoid paying for a ride. None of the rest of your friends, except for Jay, seem to be around, but he’s very caught up talking to someone. Good for him, Chan thinks.

The car ride back to your apartment is comfortably quiet. Aside from you asking if you could pick the music, you’ve just been softly singing along and looking out the window. It’s nice at this time of night, too. Everything else is quiet, just the traffic of people heading home for the night, whether it’s to their homes or someone else’s. It’s not until he gets to your house that Chan gets a text from Jay that makes him frown. “Everything okay?” you ask, hand on the door to get out of the car.

“Yeah, just Jay hoping I’m not headed home because he brought someone home with him,” Chan says. “I’ll just be quiet when I go in and put my headphones on.”

“Or you could just crash here tonight,” you offer and Chan grips the steering wheel a little harder to steady his nerves.

“I couldn’t do that,” he says, causing you to turn back to him.

“Do you really wanna hear whatever my brother is up to?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, no, but it’s also not like it would be the first time,” he responds with a chuckle.

“Come on, weirdo, you can sleep on my couch and I’ll make us breakfast in the morning,” you say, getting out of the car without waiting to see if Chan is following you.

Of course he is, though. He scrambles to get the keys out of the car and hurry after you. Once you’re inside your apartment, you put a pot on the stove to boil some water. Insist that you need some tea before you can sleep. While the water is boiling, you go to the closet to pull out some blankets. It’s entirely too comfortable, both the couch and the way you move around him. Something he can’t fully ignore when you sit down with a cup of tea for each of you.

“Are you sure it’s okay that I’m here?” Chan asks.

“Why wouldn’t it be? You were nice enough to give me a ride home and it’s my brother that’s sexiling you,” you reason.

“What if Seungsik shows up tomorrow?” he asks.

You take a sip of your tea and then look over at him. “He’s not really the type to show up unannounced. Besides, why would it be weird to offer to let a friend crash?”

“You’re right,” Chan concedes.

“Plus, he hasn’t been over for breakfast in weeks and I miss cooking for someone,” you say.

It’s kind of hard to argue with that, not that Chan wants to. Well, he’d like to argue that it’s bullshit that Seungsik has you feeling whatever you’re feeling. It’s complete crap that he doesn’t appreciate what an amazing person you are. It’s just not healthy. But, at the end of the day, it’s also not Chan’s place, so he just lets it go.

You get up to wash out the cups when you’re finished with your tea and disappear into your small spare room. It doesn’t have a bed, because you use it as an office area, but apparently it does have clothes that you loan to Chan. The protest is on his lips when you cut him off to say that they’re Jay’s clothes he’s left here when he’s crashed. That’s much better than the clothing belonging to your boyfriend. When he comes back out of the bathroom, you’re in an oversized t-shirt and shorts, obviously ready for bed. He clears his throat to be able to say goodnight and pads out to the couch. It’s even more comfortable to sleep on than you said, but Chan’s brain won’t slow down enough to fall asleep. All he can think of is just how…domestic this all feels. How easy it is to be around you. Again.

Though it takes him a while to drift off, he actually feels like he gets a good night of sleep. The smell of coffee slips into his consciousness while he’s in that in-between state before he’s fully awake. When he opens his eyes, he can tell that you’re trying to be quiet, not wanting to disrupt him. Even though it’s your apartment and you can make as much noise as you’d like. Chan opens both of his eyes and finds your back to him as you look into the fridge. Possibly deciding what you want to make. Your hair is in a knot on top of your head and you’re still wearing that oversized t-shirt and shorts. Everything about you seems relaxed. Until you close the door and turn towards the living room to see him awake. You jump a little and your hand flies to your heart.

“Oh my god, I didn’t realize you were awake,” you share after a moment.

“Sorry,” Chan says and throws his hands up.

“No, I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” you wonder and he shakes his head. “I was trying to figure out what’s for breakfast.”

“You really don’t…” he starts.

“I promised breakfast and you’re getting breakfast,” you interrupt. “Plus, look outside.”

It’s a confusing request, but Chan gets up off the couch anyway to look out the window. As soon as he moves the curtain aside, he sees how hard it’s raining. He’s a little surprised that he didn’t hear it. And he’s definitely not overly eager to leave in that.

“Guess you have company for breakfast,” he says when he turns back to you.

Your whole face lights up and you let out a squeak. “I can’t wait, oh my god, I have so many recipes I’ve been wanting to try.”

“Like?” he prompts.

“Do you trust me?” you ask instead.

That’s a dangerous question. One that Chan isn’t sure he really wants to answer, because the answer is that yes, he trusts you far more than he should. Probably more than he’s trusted anyone else. The last month or so of all these activities has only reinforced that. Instead, he pretends to consider it for a second, buys himself some time.

“I guess, you haven’t poisoned me yet,” he says, voice surprisingly even.

“I hate you,” you joke with an eye roll.

“I’ll remember that,” he teases back.

To do something helpful, Chan gets up and folds the blankets he used to sleep and asks you where they go. Once they’re safely away in your closet, he texts Jay to say that he’s still at your apartment and having breakfast at least. Jay sends back an inappropriate number of emojis and says he’s going to make use of the extra time alone with whoever it is he brought home. Thankfully, he only makes one joke about being replaced as the favorite sibling, which Chan answers that you’re a better cook. Was it ever really a contest?

To avoid being entirely useless, Chan makes both of you a cup of coffee. You’re about to tell him how you like it when he asks if you trust him. As he hands over the perfect cup and turns around to make his own, he misses the look on your face that he knows exactly how you like your coffee. It’s a mix of wonder and surprise. When you tell him it’s the perfect cup, you’re not even lying. He also can’t resist peeking to see what it is you’re working on, despite your attempts to swat him out of the kitchen.

“Is that French toast?” Chan asks, eyes wide.

“Yeah, I know it’s kinda simple, but I had some really good bread that was going a little stale and I’ve been wanting to try a new mixture,” you say.

“French toast is my favorite, I don’t think it’s simple,” Chan admits.

“I think I remember you mentioning that, actually,” you comment. It’s so offhand that Chan doesn’t think twice about it. There’s so many things he remembers about you that he’s thankful something about him sticks too.

While you continue making breakfast, Chan asks where the syrup is so that he can warm it up a little. He doesn’t like it cold and neither, apparently, do you. You also don’t like fake syrup so you direct him to where you keep it in the fridge. It looks like it’s some small company that you probably got directly from the shop on some adventure. That’s definitely one great part about living in this part of the country, you’re never far from good syrup. It makes the whole apartment smell like maple and the cinnamon from the toast. And something else that Chan can’t really place. But it makes everything feel warm and comforting despite the rain that’s only coming down harder outside now. Maybe Chan doesn’t hate everything about Fall.

Unsurprisingly, it’s the best French toast he’s ever had. Something he’s quick to tell you and you’re quicker to brush off like he’s just being nice. It’s just as easy to chat with you in the light of day in your apartment as the haze of the house party the night before. It’s harder to ignore the way your phone periodically lights up with Seungsik’s name. Harder still to ignore is the fact that it’s just his name. No hearts or emojis or pet names. It’s almost impersonal, not that Chan should be passing judgment.

“Are you going to answer him?” he finally asks.

“No,” is your immediate answer.

“But…” Chan starts and you level him with a look.

“He doesn’t get to have things on his terms when he couldn’t even come to a fucking Halloween party last night,” you say.

“Have you talked to him since…” he starts to ask before trailing off.

“Since I was fighting with him on the phone and you walked up?” you finish for him.

“Yeah, that,” he says.

“I read one text from him asking why I was posting matching costumes with you, even though my caption on it was clear and he’s literally all over my page,” you share. “So, I didn’t answer that. I texted him when I woke up to say that I hadn’t read whatever he sent and that I was mad from last night and would maybe talk to him this afternoon or tonight.”

“He doesn’t seem to have gotten it,” Chan comments as your phone lights up again with his name.

“No, he doesn’t. But that’s also not my problem. Not everything is going to be on his terms,” you say.

“I’m glad,” Chan admits.

“About what? Me fighting with Seungsik?” you wonder and Chan’s eyes go wide at the realization.

“No, oh my god, no,” Chan rushes out. “No, I’m just glad that you’re not letting it all be on his terms. You’re worth a lot more than how he’s been treating you.”

“Thanks, I think so too,” you slightly tease.

Breakfast turns into you asking Chan to watch a show, which turns into him spending the entire afternoon lounging on the couch. You talk a little more about your relationship and what you might say to him when you finally text him back. Chan also tells you some things he’s looking forward to coming up and about some plans he has with your brother and Vernon. Sometimes, you’re just quiet while watching the show, but that’s comfortable too. Eventually, though, Chan realizes that he has to leave. He knows that you’re using at least part of him being there to avoid talking to your boyfriend. Not that it’s the only reason. It’s clear you enjoy having him around, too. But eventually you have to talk to Seungsik and so Chan finally says that he has to head home. Jay is starting to wonder where he is anyway.

It’s not that Chan really wants to be out and dating, but he also thinks that it might help to get his mind off of you. Even though he loves every minute of being around you, it’s also getting harder. Especially when the time spent together includes things like the Halloween party and crashing at your apartment. He wants to be a good friend to you, but at what cost to his heart? No part of him feels entitled to your attention and he’s not even sure if he would be a better partner to you than Seungsik. It isn’t even about him anymore, not really. Not now that he’s spent all this time with you. It’s just about wanting you to find your own happiness that doesn’t come from a partner. Which is why he agrees to go out for drinks with a friend of a friend, Carla, that asked him weeks ago. What’s the worst that could happen?

He’s meeting her at some trendy bar downtown where the music is usually too loud to hear anything. Not exactly the ideal place for a first date, but maybe that will make it all easier. He does like to dance. And he knows the drinks are good. It’s also always pretty busy, making it easier to blend into the crowd. What’s weirder, though, is that she asks Chan to just meet her there. Again, not Chan’s first choice, but he goes along with it all the same. It’s thankfully very easy to spot her once he gets there.

She’s standing by the bar, her long dark hair framing her face and wearing a dress that clings to her in ways that should be against the law. The moment she locks her eyes on Chan, he thinks maybe he can do this. Maybe it’ll all be easy and fine. They exchange a quick hello, get their drinks, and then it’s right onto the dance floor.

Time seems to move in odd ways. It could have been ten minutes just as easily as an hour. All Chan knows is that he needs another drink. When he says that to Carla, she agrees and says she’s going to run to the bathroom. They can meet at the bar. Once Chan makes it to the bar, his stomach drops. He looks back out at the dance floor and sees Seungsik with a stranger, that is definitely not you, tight against him. Some bottle blonde presses her ass further back into him and he grabs her hips. As Chan looks at them, Seungsik ghosts his lips across her neck, moves a hand up her stomach. The woman turns around in his arms and pulls him in for a kiss. Seungsik’s hands grip her ass, dangerously close to causing her dress to ride up. It isn’t until Seungsik pulls the woman off the dance floor and into the shadows that Chan realizes just how bad things are.

Carla seems disappointed when Chan says that something’s come up and he’s got to leave, but perks up when he says that they’ll find another time. He’s not even sure if he should be giving her hope, he just wants to get out of there as soon as possible. Once he’s in the Uber, he texts Jay to ask if he’s home or if he’s got company. The answer that he’s alone in the apartment comes quickly.

“Thought you had a date,” Jay says when Chan comes through the door. “Unless you’re angling for a threesome. I’d have to turn you down though.”

“Come on, man,” Chan says as he collapses on the couch. He runs a hand through his hair without thinking about it.

“Whoa, what’s going on?” Jay asks, he’s coming back from the kitchen with a bottle of water.

“It’s about your sister,” Chan admits. It’s clear that Jay wasn’t expecting that, but his surprise disappears quickly.

“Wow, are you finally admitting you’re in love with her?” Jay jokes. “Can’t say I’m surprised, but also it could’ve waited?”

“No, it’s not that. Well, I don’t know, it’s about Seungsik,” Chan says.

“So you’re not in love with my sister?” Jay questions.

“Can we not do this right now? This is serious,” Chan begs.

“Fine, we’ll come back to that. What about Seungsik? Other than he’s been a total dick about all the Fall shit,” Jay says as he leans back further into the couch.

“It’s more than that, he’s lying to her,” Chan states.

“What?” Jay needs Chan to connect the dots and it’s a lot harder than it seems.

“He’s, fuck Jay, he’s lying to her. He isn’t working late. At least not all the time. He was at the club with some girl, grinding, making out, dragging her off to some dark corner,” Chan says.

The color drains from Jay’s face. “Are you…fuck, are you sure it was him?”

“I’m positive,” Chan says.

“You’ve got to tell her,” Jay says after a moment.

“I thought it might be better coming from you,” Chan hopes.

Jay frowns like he’s considering something. “I’m not sure it would. I don’t even mean because you saw Seungsik. It’s just that she’s seemed to kind of rely on you lately. It’s you she was with apple picking and picking out pumpkins. You she spent all of that Halloween party with. She trusts you.”

“Well I’d hope she does, we’re friends,” Chan tries to joke.

“I’m not trying to fuck with you, I know I started by saying you were in love with her, but I just think it’s different,” Jay says.

“So you don’t think I’m in love with her?” Chan wonders.

“Oh, no I definitely do. I’m just not gonna bust you over it right now,” Jay says.

“I’m scared to tell her,” Chan admits.

“She deserves to know, though,” Jay points out.

He’s right. You do deserve to know. You deserve a lot of things that Seungsik seems unwilling to give. At the very least, though, you deserve respect. What Chan needs help with is figuring out just how to bring it up with you. Jay is right, you and him have been spending a lot more time around each other than normal. Chan’s been more than happy to keep you company to do all the things that Seungsik doesn’t want to. What he’s not prepared for, however, is this.

Even though it sounds dumb, Chan listens to Jay and asks you to come over to help him make a couple pies for a family get-together. He does have to go over to his aunt’s tomorrow, something you’re very aware of as you and Jay are also invited, and you are excellent when it comes to pies. Chan had just been planning to buy a couple, but this is a ready-made excuse. Even if he thinks it’s dumb. He’s a little surprised that you agreed since he only texted you the same day. Then again, maybe that’s not so surprising.

You breeze in with ingredients, including some that he already has, and immediately get to work laying everything out. He realizes, as you’re looking through his cupboards and scolding him over the lack of organization, how domestic this all feels. Again. It’s not as if he didn’t realize how much he liked you. No, it’s that he realizes he may love you and he’s going to have to tell you something that will break your heart. Best to get it out of the way early before you start baking. Just in case you want to leave.

“Where’s my brother? Avoiding helping in the kitchen?” you wonder.

“No, he went to help Vernon test out a new game,” Chan says.

“You didn’t wanna go?” you ask.

“I kinda figured I needed to make sure I didn’t show up empty-handed tomorrow,” Chan starts. “I was surprised you agreed to come over on such short notice.”

“Oh, well, I didn’t have anything else to do and I can’t exactly leave you in your time of need,” you say, trying for casual and failing.

“Wow, I feel the love,” Chan jokes back.

“Chan, you were going to use fake vanilla in your pies,” you scoff.

It’s hard to keep the smile off his face, despite the news he has to share, as he throws his hands up. “I didn’t know there was a difference!”

“Tragic,” you sigh. “Plus, well, I don’t know. I like hanging out with you.”

“I like it too,” Chan says. It comes out as little more than a whisper and his heart constricts.

“You’ve made this whole season so much better,” you admit.

“Yeah, I could say the same for you. I didn’t really get the big deal about Fall before,” Chan shares.

“You didn’t?” you ask. Chan just shakes his head. “But you agreed.”

“Like you said, I couldn’t leave you in your time of need,” Chan jokes.

You playfully shove his arm. “Do you get it now? The appeal of Fall?”

“I do, yeah. I’ve had a lot of fun,” Chan agrees.

“Wish Seungsik felt the same,” you utter.

That’s it. That’s the opening, the best one he’s going to get. He has to take a deep breath to steel himself. “Where is he today anyway?”

“Seungsik?” you ask to confirm or to stall, it’s unclear which. After another nod, you sigh. “I don’t really know. He told me he had to stay late on a project and then was going to possibly get drinks with a friend at this little dive bar by his office. I hadn’t heard from him when you texted me to ask for help.”

“Did he say who he was meeting?” Chan presses.

You give him a weird look. “I don’t know. Sejun, probably. I don’t know all of his friends, though. Why are you asking?”

“Come here,” Chan says and pats a stool at the counter. It’s clear you think he’s being weird, or at least weirder than normal, but you listen anyway. “I don’t think he was with a friend. At least, I don’t think he was with Sejun.”

“What do you know?” you ask, eyes intent on searching his face.

“I, well I was out at that place you don’t like because it’s too, what do you usually say?”

“Try hard trendy,” you supply with a scoff.

“Right, well I was out and I saw Seungsik there. I didn’t recognize who he was with, but it didn’t seem like a friend. She was blonde and wearing something really revealing, grinding up on him, kissing him. I don’t know, maybe there’s…” Chan hasn’t thought this part out, not really. He feels awkward.

“Maybe there’s an explanation?” you snort. “I’m sure there is. I’m sure it’s that he’s cheating on me like I’ve assumed he was for the past month.”

“I’m so sorry…wait, you what?” Chan splutters.

Of all the outcomes he prepared for, your immediate acceptance hadn’t been one of them. He’s expecting tears and you asking if he’s sure. He’s expecting you to wonder if you did something wrong. He’s expecting all the tearful things you see in movies. Except this isn’t a movie, it’s real life. And you don’t seem surprised, at all. Somehow, that feels worse. Then, he remembers how you were at the Halloween party. How you were the day after. Maybe it makes some amount of sense. It wasn’t the same as before you went apple picking. It wasn’t meek, it was angry. Pissed off. This is more like that.

You stand and shake your head. “I’m not blind and I’m not stupid.”

“I never said you were,” Chan interrupts immediately.

“Oh, no Channie, I know you didn’t,” you say, voice soft like he’s the one that needs to be protected. “I think I’m saying that to myself. I knew something was wrong. I knew he was up to something. He’s never been the best boyfriend, but he got really secretive. He blew me off a lot and just pretended it was because he hated this season.”

“Which is bullshit, by the way. It shouldn’t matter how you feel about something. You at least try for someone you care about,” Chan insists.

“Yeah, he was quick to have something to say about me spending time with you,” you admit. That brings Chan up short.

“What? We did most of the stuff as a group,” Chan points out.

“I wouldn’t think too much about it. It felt wrong when he said it. Like he was deflecting from his shitty behavior rather than commenting on something I’d done,” you say.

“I’m really so sorry, you deserve so much better than everything he’s done to you,” Chan says.

“You know, that’s the first time you’ve actually said it to me, at least in so many words,” you observe.

“Said what? That you deserve better?” Chan questions. Your face is a bit sad as you nod. “It sounds hollow to say, at best, or judgmental, at worst.”

“I could tell you thought it, though, even if you didn’t say it,” you share. “You said at the Halloween party that I deserved someone who valued me, but you didn’t actually say I deserved better.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t say it,” Chan says with a sigh.

“Don’t be, I wasn’t ready to hear it,” you assure him. “Besides, you’re one of the only people who shouldn’t be sorry to me. About anything.”

“Do you want to talk about it? About Seungsik and the relationship and what you’re going to do next?” Chan asks.

You look at him for a minute. “On two conditions.”

“Which are?”

“That you let me help you make pies if you do actually need them,” you begin.

“I do,” Chan interrupts.

“And you have to promise not to pull any punches when it comes to your opinions. I want flat out honesty or I don’t want anything.”

“Deal.”

It turns out that it’s still surprisingly easy to be around you. Obviously you’re sad. You’re hurt. There’s part of you that wonders what you’ve done wrong. But, there’s this vibrancy about you that’s been missing the last several months. The laughs come easier, the brightness in your eyes says you’re up to something, and you’re picking on Chan’s complete inability to make a pie at every chance you get.

In between making the pies, Chan is honest, just like he promised. Maybe a little too honest. He’s got a lot of opinions about the things Seungsik did, or usually didn’t do, and how nobody deserves to feel like the things they love are less important. When you share more about your relationship, Chan finds himself more irritated. It’s clear that you were dulling yourself down so that he didn’t find it annoying. Apparently, your laugh was too loud and you got excited about too many little things. You were too nice with new people and that was annoying because sometimes Seungsik didn’t want to be sucked into a conversation. Before he could stop himself, Chan was listing why those were some of the best things about you. He loves how everything about you brightens up when you’re passionate, loves that you can make anyone feel at home, loves how much you love life.

Once you both get past bashing Seungsik, an activity that’s entirely too fun, you ask for Chan’s advice about how to break things off. He’s a little surprised that you seem so sure and that you don’t want to give him a chance to work through it. That’s when you remind him that things felt off, anyway. Remind him about the Halloween party. You’ve given Seungsik plenty of chances to not disappoint you. He’s missed all of them. And when you’re done, you’re done. In that case, Chan suggests that you catch Seungsik by surprise. Show up at his apartment without telling him and maybe he’ll even give you more reason to break it off. It’s blunt and honest and you thank him before he has a chance to second guess that level of honesty.

“Chan, will you get the door?” his aunt calls from the kitchen after the bell chimes through the house.

It takes a second to excuse himself from the conversation with his cousin and make his way towards the door. There’s no thought about who might be on the other side because he knows that his aunt always invites way more people than she should. She just loves to be surrounded by good people and good food. What Chan isn’t expecting, though he probably should be, is seeing you on the other side of the door with a bottle of wine and a bag of ice.

“Hey,” you say casually and hand the bag of ice over to Chan.

“Uh, hey, I wasn’t expecting you,” Chan says, “or a bag of ice?”

“Everyone always needs more ice at a party,” you provide with a shrug. “So, uh, are we gonna stand at the doorway or…”

“Is that who I think it is?” Chan’s aunt calls as she comes down the hallway. “Oh my god, it is. It’s my favorite almost niece!”

Chan steps aside so that his aunt can engulf you in a hug. It’s actually kind of sweet to see such a warm greeting.

“I hope it’s okay, I didn’t think to let you know I’d be here,” you say.

“It’s always okay,” she says. “I’ll take any excuse to see you.”

“Actually, could I give you this ice? I wanted to have a quick chat with her about something before we eat,” Chan says to his aunt.

“Sure, I’ll take the wine too. You remembered my favorite, I see,” she says affectionately before disappearing back into the house.

“I suppose I don’t have to ask what this is about,” you joke.

“Come on, we’ll go this way,” Chan says without answering.

The house isn’t nearly as familiar to you as it is to Chan, but you’ve been here enough to recognize that he leads you into a guest room. There are a couple chairs that save you from having to sit on the bed. That feels like it would be a little too intimate. All Chan wants to do is check that you’re okay.

“I’m surprised you’re here,” Chan states.

“This time of year is about being with the people you care about,” you answer. “Plus, your aunt makes amazing food and I helped you with the pies. It felt like I should be here.”

“I don’t think you’ve ever been here without Jay,” Chan says.

It feels different to be alone with you like this. Going out on adventures, alone or in groups where you ended up together, was one thing. Different, yet easy to fall into. Crashing at your apartment after the Halloween party was entirely different from that, even if it ended up being easy. Having you at his apartment yesterday was surprisingly easy. But this, showing up at his aunt’s house without Jay and newly single, it feels weird. Not weird in a bad way, just weird. There’s almost an intimacy to it, like a glimpse into how things might have looked if everything was different. How it would be if you and him were together and spending time with his family. Yet, he also finds that’s not something he really wishes for anymore. It isn’t that he doesn’t still care about you, because that probably won’t ever change. It’s just that he cares more about helping you with your broken heart.

“Should I not have come?” you ask and Chan hates the way you seem smaller again.

“Of course you should’ve,” Chan rushes out. “I’m really happy you’re here. I’ve been wondering how you were since you left my apartment yesterday.”

Once again, it’s too honest. It’s too vulnerable. Maybe it’s even too much of a burden to possibly admit that to you, but Chan also knows he needs to so he really can move past this.

“You said the girl you saw him with on Friday night was blonde, right?” you ask and Chan nods. “I’m guessing it was the same girl that answered the door in his t-shirt.”

“What?” Chan nearly shouts.

“I didn’t even have to tell him that you saw him, which is probably a good thing. He can’t try to turn it around that you made it up,” you say.

“I…is that a thing that he’d do?” Chan wonders because it’s easier to focus on.

You snort. “Yeah, he was convinced you were in love with me or something. Just another way he was deflecting from himself. Like men and women can’t be friends.”

It’s hard to ignore the way his heart breaks a little at that. Yet the bigger issue is that you’re right, thinking men and women can’t be friends is insane.

“You’ve been such a good friend to me,” you continue on. “I’m so thankful for that. I didn’t realize how much I needed to see an example of a guy just being kind and caring until you were right there.”

“It’s pretty easy to be that to you,” Chan says because it’s honest and it’s real.

“I broke up with Seungsik on the spot, obviously. He didn’t even try to deny it. Actually had the audacity to try and make it my fault. I guess she knew I existed too and didn’t care. Maybe I wouldn’t either if I was getting all his time like that,” you say, more like you’re talking to yourself.

“Yeah you would’ve, you’re too good a person for that,” Chan points out.

“Maybe,” you concede.

“I know it’s a cliche, but you really do deserve so much more than that. You deserve someone that’ll wake up every day and appreciate everything you bring to the table because it’s so much,” Chan says.

“You have to say that, you’re my friend,” you deflect.

“Oh no, I’ve been meaning to tell you, I don’t even really like you that much. I just stick around because of Jay,” Chan jokes and you laugh, bright and real.

“Glad you finally admitted it,” you say. “Maybe you can tell that person, whoever they are, to hurry up and come find me.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Chan tells you. “I am glad you’re here, though.”

“Yeah, me too.”

last part dropping 12/8 💕 let me know if you want to be tagged!

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