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fbfh · 2 years

Text

peter parker x (gn) stark!reader crush hcs

wc: 1.5k

genre/au: pining, fluff, crushing hard, ambiguous canon compliance, socialite/heir/nepotism baby au

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader, dad!tony stark + familial!reader

warnings: one use of "it girl" cause I couldn't find a better phrase, peter parker is a simp, tony stark is a good dad, vague allusions to pre infinity war, mentions of the stark internship and going on missions, I think that's it??

summary: peter parker is down real bad for you. it's only when you come face to face that he realizes tony stark/iron man my boss is also tony stark/iron man my celebrity crush's dad and god he wants to make a good impression on you

song rec: treat you better - shawn mendes (mentioned), spider man too: 2 many spidermen - the unbreakable kimmy schmidt (just cause I think of it every time I hear spiderman)

a/n: on a spider man kick!!! i watched homecoming yesterday and can't stop thinking about it, probably going to binge watch the tobey maguire and andrew garfield spider man movies this weekend lol

also I'm on another wave of marvel hyperfixation!!! half way through black panther and it is worth every rave review it's gotten I wanna watch vine compilations with shuri

tags @afidiofobia @thatmultifandomloser @babiesimagines @lizziebitch33 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl

Tony stark has been through a lot

He's very protective over the people he loves

And rightfully so

No matter how you came into his life

Whether your mom was the love of his life, the one fling he never stopped thinking about, the one that got away

And he somehow ended up with custody of you

Or if he and Pepper finally tied the knot and had you, their little bundle of joy

Or if he adopted you, little orphan Annie style

Regardless of how and when you came into his life

You are his pride and joy

Suddenly all of Stark industries only means something to him because it's a way to provide for you

Yeah the whole entire world is great

But you are who he fights for

You are the reason he wears the suit and keeps things safe and peaceful

Not without a good fight, and not without the rest of the avengers ofc

But at the end of the day, he wants you safe and happy

He'll go to extreme measures to make sure you are always safe and taken care of

Plus, god he loves spoiling you

He really never expected having a kid to be so much fun

You’re probably the coolest person he knows

And he’s been around the block a few times

With how protective he is you'd expect him to be pretty strict

No dating no parties

But no

He makes sure you're always totally informed, prepared, and safe

That way you can go live life to the fullest

Plus it would be really hypocritical of him to say you can't party and break hearts

Look at his track record

And you have such a good head on your shoulders

You're so smart and responsible

He has no idea where you get it from

The sense of humor and charisma, sure

But you're just so… good

You're such a good kid

That has to be all your mom

(It’s a little bit him too but he doesn't believe that yk)

Literally you can have and do anything you want

And what hurts is how you never ask for anything

You're so humble and grateful

That's your mother too

He has no idea how you're turning out to be such a good kid, but he hopes he's doing something right

You trust each other implicitly

Between all the shit you've been through, and all the shit he's been through, he kept as much of your childhood private as he could

Basically no one even knew he had a kid until you were in high school

By the time you were old enough to drive he was a little more laid back with the whole privacy thing

But it's something you really value too

You have like 1 public social media account

Which you barely even post on

Regardless of if you’re more of a stem or arts and humanities person

Or neither

Or both

Once you hit high school and people found out Tony Stark has a kid

Absolute media circus

You were what everyone was talking about

For a long time

And you’re still a point of conversation to this day

Even if you do absolutely nothing

If you fly under the radar as much as you can

You’re still something of an it girl

New York’s sweetheart if you will

You’re regularly in teen magazine articles as a style icon

Your pictures are ALL over pinterest

People on tiktok have made so many -core nepotism baby aesthetic outfit inspo <3 videos about you

You’re frequently used as a background for hot girl whisper posts too

But in spite of all that

There’s probably not much public information known about you

Yk the whole privacy thing

You’re a hot enigmatic gorgeous mystery

If you’re anything like your dad you’re probably known for flipping off the paparazzi on more than one occasion too

You’ve caught the attention of many people

Including the parasocial affection of a nerdy guy from queens

The same nerdy guy who’s recently gotten an internship with your dad

When I tell you Peter Parker has the biggest crush on you

That doesn’t even do it justice

He has all your pictures as rotating wallpapers on his phone and computer

He regularly scrolls through your public social media

He’s made a playlist with all the songs and bands you’ve either worn t shirts/merch for or referenced

He falls asleep basically every night thinking about you

Literally he couldn’t imagine a more perfect person if he tried

You sound like something 12 year old him would have made up

The drop dead gorgeous heir/socialite nepotism baby of Tony Stark??????

Sign him the fuck up

He wonders if you like spider man

He wonders that regularly

When he’s spacing out in class he’s definitely thinking about you

He’s probably thinking about rescuing you as spider man

He’d get you out of the way in the nick of time

You’d cling to him as he holds you close to his chest, web swinging away from the imminent danger

The way you’d be swept off your feet, wanting to see him again

How you just couldn’t get the charming plucky upstart off your mind

Then you’d of course ask your dad to pull a few strings so you could see him again

Maybe he’d refuse, playing the strict parent role

But you’d find a way

Love always finds a way

There would always be some sort of balcony soliloquy

Sometimes it would feel very romeo and juliet

Other times it would be the scene leading up to a whole new world from aladdin practically beat for beat

He doesn’t even know if your room has a balcony

But he feels like it probably does

Ned agrees you’d probably have a balcony

When dating rumors start going around

Whether they’re true or not

He goes through a mini heartbreak every time

After reading every article he can find about you and whoever

Idk an actor, a tiktok influencer, another nepotism baby

Treat you better by shawn mendes is on repeat for at least two days

May has picked up on this pattern

If she sees dating rumors before he does

When he comes home she has a hug and his favorite takeout ready to go

His notes are full of doodles of you

Comics of spider man rescuing you

Usually stick figures

They’re still pretty cute

For some reason he doesn’t connect Tony Stark my celebrity crush’s dad with Mr. Stark aka Iron Man the guy basically training me to be an avenger

So at one point he gets a call that they need him for a mission

Tony informs him that someone will be there to pick him up, so be ready

Thankfully school is basically over

So when he’s heading to his locker and hastily texting Ned an apology for bailing on their movie plans

He hears his name

“I’m looking for Peter Parker?”

His locker door is closed and he

He can’t believe what he’s seeing

It’s you

Oh god it’s you

Live and right in front of him and god you smell really good

“Hi.” you begin, introducing yourself

“My dad - Mr. Stark,” you correct, in case he has no idea who the fuck you are

As if that could happen

“Sent Happy to pick us up.”

He’s barely able to process what you’re saying

You’re so pretty and so real and you’re standing so close to him

“...really important internship related stuff came up. He needs us both at the compound asap.”

You wink at him, an understated gesture that anyone else would have missed, clarifying beyond doubt this is in actuality avengers business

He fumbles out some reply, pulse racing, cheeks burning up

God you’re so much prettier in person

And you look a lot taller in photos

He doesn’t have time to dwell on the thought as you hand him a cup

“Oh, I got you a coffee - hope you like lattes.”

You take a sip of your own beverage and start to walk away

You turn back after a second

“You coming?”

Happy gives him a look like come on kid, we don’t have all day

“R-right!” he sputters following you out of the building

He realizes this is it

It’s go time

Every hope and dream and wish to meet you has amalgamated to this moment

Now he just has to make a good impression

Make you think he’s totally cool and charming

And not at all an absolute dork

That shouldn’t be hard at all right??

He sure hopes not

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lemon-boy-stan · 2 years

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Being best friends with Steve but your secretly in love with him but he loves Nancy. You and Steve are inseparable, you two are like a package deal, but it would hurt a lot when he would blow you off to hangout with his girlfriend Nancy. You were so jealous of her even when they broke up and you comforted him, but you found a distraction from your feelings for Steve “the Hair” Harrington. That was when Billy Hargrove came to the school, Billy already didn’t like Steve but damn he wanted you. Steve always waits for you by your locker at school and his heart drops when he sees Billy in his place, worst of all flirting with you, twirling your hair, whispering in your ear as you smiled and blushed, watching his hands go all over you, it made Steve want to throw up. When you blew him off for an “unknown” reason he was too curious and had to find out what was going on, he walked you your place and ofc Billy’s car is there and peeks through your window and sees him legit pounding you into the mattress and god were you loud. When you saw Steve the next day he’s all pouty and sad because he misses you and that’s when he realizes how much he loves you and he starts bragging that he can treat you better than stupid Billy.😔😔

hiii anon tysm for requesting this! (i didn't include the biy smut because i suck at billy smut but I hope you liked it anyway!)

"TREAT YOU BETTER"

summary: yn is in love with her best friend steve, but steve is dating nancy. every day she comes home miserable about seeing them together. fast-forward to senior year, and there's a new kid in town, billy hargrove. at first, yn turns him down, with eyes for steve only, but she soon realises her hints at steve are going nowhere, so she accepts billy's offer, even though steve keeps arguing that billy's no good for her. genre: angst, fluff. pairing: steve harrington x best friend!reader. warnings: billy's basically an asshole, use of alcohol and drugs, billy's abusive towards yn (kind of like how he is to max), yn hates nancy. an: this is based on the ask and also the song treat you better by shawn mendes.

DECEMBER 1982

Nancy Wheeler. You tried telling yourself that you liked her, that she was one of your best friends, that you couldn't say anything about her, because she was one of the kindest people you knew. But when you cried into your pillow every week, you knew you hated her.

She was always one better at you than everything. In sports, in your grades, in the things you had, in your looks, and now, how your best friend thought of you. Steve and Nancy had been dating for a year.

She joined the group in your freshman year, wanting to be popular, even though everyone else had already known each other since middle school, either by you or by Steve.

Nancy was your friend first, and you always hated yourself for introducing her to Harrington, but you and Steve were the founders of the group. Every year, you had been prom queen and king. And then Steve got an actual girlfriend.

"She's such a bitch," you arranged the photos on the yearbook spread, "Like, what does Steve see in her?" one of your other friends, Hannah, shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe you should just steal him from her. Hey, Greg? This article is for the tenth page." Hannah was Steve's friend, Josh's girlfriend.

There were seven of you in the group: you, Steve, Hannah, Josh, Isaac, Tracy, Nancy, and Peter. "You know, she asked me if she could come to our party. She's basically new meat. She just stole him..." Hannah rolled her eyes, "babe, that was two years ago. She's intune now. And I would love to do some insanely bitchy shit to her, but I tell Josh everything, and you know he has a big mouth. Steve would be so upset, especially after that Barb girl died. Just try and be happy for him." now you were the one roling your eyes, "I am trying to be happy for him. I'm always fixing his relationship problems for him. Sometimes I just wish that I wouldn't."

JANUARY 1983

You hoped your glowering wasn't too obvious, but you were glowering anyway as Steve and Nancy set their trays down on the table. They'd been dating for two years now, and it occured to you that your progress with dropping hints at Steve was going absolutely nowhere.

One of your friends, Tracy, turned to Isaac. He was a total nerd, but he was a shooter on the basketball team. "Apparently the new kid's really hot." and your ears perked at this, you were always a sucker for drama. You turned away from your conversation with Steve, "oh yeah? Who?" leaning in like you were discussing a very important matter. Steve frowned, although he didn't know why he was upset.

Tracy smirked, "Billy Hargrove. He's a total rebel and a bad boy, probably a druggie, too, but he's superhot. He's a surfer." Peter grinned at you, "so he's basically your type, then, Y/N." and you scrunched up your nose, "what? No, he's not!" trying your best not to look at Steve.

Hannah rose her eyebrows with a smirk, "you literally did it with that Munson guy at Josh's party, and he's Like, a satan worshipper or something." your jaw dropped at this before you crossed your arms, "no he's not! He's actually really nice, okay? And anyway I was shitfaced drunk that night so it doesn't count." and Peter snorted at this, "yeah. I bet he was only nice because you showed him your tits." Steve got up abruptly, clenching his fists over his lunch tray, glaring profuesly at Peter before grumbling loudly and walking off.

You threw Peter an injured look that was filled with sarcasm, flipping him the bird violently. Steve sat back down, folding his arms over the table. You turned to him, "what the fuck was that for?" and he shrugged, narrowing his eyes at you. "What?" grinding his teeth. You rolled your eyes, "whatever, asshole." Steve slumped in his seat, but only enough for you to notice. Isaac chortled loudly, "it's his time of the month." and all four of you girls yelled at him, you, Hannah, Tracy and even Nancy, who'd been silent most of the afternoon. "SHUT UP, ISAAC!"

The whole cafeteria turned to look at your table and Josh slapped him on the back, "this is why you don't have any girlfriends, Isaac." and Isaac rolled his eyes, taking Hannah's empty juicebox, scrunching it up and throwing it over the table at the head of a freshman grumpily.

MARCH 1983

Steve had said if anyone puked on his seats he was going to leave them on the side of the road. You'd asked him, "what if Nancy's the one who pukes?" and Steve said, "I'll toss her out of the car." and although Nancy had. been all pouty and miffed about it and Steve had asured her he would never do that, it still made you happy that he'd said that.

You'd gone shopping with Tracy and Hannah yesterday for a new outfit at Starcourt. You'd managed to leave Nancy behind, and you were glad that it had been a total anti-Wheeler bitch fest, but then you saw her and Steve coming out from the cinema with matching bracelets that were definetly homemade and it made you want to puke.

Even though you'd spent the rest of the afternoon crying, you looked fabulous, and it made you feel just a little bit better. And you felt even better when Billy Hargrove approached you at the party and called you hot.

Billy, the one guy who intimidated King Steve. He was smoking, and you guessed Tracy was right about the drug thing, but it was only marijuana, and Steve sometimes smoked marijuana, so. She was also right about him being superhot. This kind of guy wasn't normally your type, but you'd heard rumors about him, and they were all true.

For one thing, you'd seen him play at Steve's games. You'd seen him walk around the halls at school, how all the girls stared and all the guys were jealous of him. He might even be prom king this year. And you knew how Steve was upset that he wasn't the best player anymore. Oh, yeah. If it was anyone who was intimidating enough to get the attention of Steve "the Hair" Harrington, it was Billy Hargrove.

Billy spoke through the cigarette, "aren't you a pretty little thing?" you tried to look like you were hiding your blush, giggling softly. Billy smiled flirtatiousy and your stomach flipped. He leanerd in closer so you could smell him, cologne mixed with sweat, alcohol and drugs. "What do you say, you and I get out of here and I show you a good time?" and you were so tempted to say yes.

But then you saw Steve, from across the room, and you remembered what Steve smelled Like, of day-old sweaters and the leather seats of his car and his the old farmhouse you'd discovered when you were kids, still hanging out there with your friends to this day, and you smiled sheepisly sad, shaking your head.

"I'm sorry," you said at last, "but it's my friend's party and I'd promised I'd stay the whole night." But Billy wasn't miffed. All he did was smile charmingly, so, so hot, and took out a marker.

"Well, okay," and he took your arm, "call me if you ever want to." and you held your breath as he wrote the digits on your skin, body tingling as he walked away, into the crowd.

MAY 1983

Steve scowled as he and Nancy took their seats at the table. He didn't know why, but he hated seeing yn and Billy together. It really pissed him off.

Y/N used to wear Steve's sweaters all the time, Nancy didn't like his clothes. But now all she wore were that douchebag's leather jackets, and Steve hated that she looked good in them. Hot, even. But it didn't matter. Nancy was his girlfriend, and Y/N was Billy's.

Steve glared at the couple, "could you not? We're eating. Get a fucking room." and while you pulled away from Billy and blushed Like you were embarrassed, all Billy did was smirk. "You got a problem, Harrington?"

Steve scoffed and puffed out his chest. Tracy giggled softly, turning to Y/N. "Your boyfriend's so hot." and you blushed again, "yeah, he kind of is. Definitely Prom King material." Billy grinned, taking your hand, kissing it. "Not without my queen." Steve was gonna puke.

Isaac, Peter and Josh crossed their arms. Well, at least Steve had them on his side. They knew who yn really belonged with. Steve just needed Y/N to know.

Steve pulled Nancy close to him, "yeah, well, you've got competition, Hargrove." and Billy smirked again, cocking his head. "You sure about that, Harrington? I mean, you don't really fit the position, but Wheeler's got some damn hot boobs, I bet, and so does Y/N. Who knows? There might be two queens this."

Steve lunged across the table, scattering food trays and juice boxes astray. You got up from your seat lightning fast, shrieking loudly. "Steve!" and the sound brought a clarity to Steve's rage-filled mind.

Harrington. How do you like it when she's not yours?" And you had no idea what they were talking about. Steve snarled, "shut your fucking mouth." sitting back down.

One of the teachers began to glare at your table. "Steve." you said again, gesturing with your head. Steve huffed Loudly, "yeah, yeah, I know."

As soon as you, Steve and Jamie were in class, Steve hauled you over to the empty desk next to his, taking your stuff with him even though you both knew Jamie would be listening in. She was like that. And besides, she was your best friend. It was her duty.

When your English teacher, Mr. Watson, wasn't looking, Steve broke into the conversation angrily. "Why do you spend time with that freak? He's a douchebag, yn! Have you seen the way he treats his little sister? He's no good for you! He doesn't deserve you. He's an asshole, I -"

"Mr. Harrington! Is there something you would Like to share with the class?" and Steve brought his attention to the front of the clasroom, "no, sir." falling quiet. He didn't speak to you for the rest of the lesson, except for when you asked to borrow his eraser and he said, "yeah, here." he touched your palm while giving it to you and he was sure he imagined your blush.

JUNE 1983

The ringing phone in your room woke you up at nine o'clock on a Sunday morning. You groaned loudly before stumbling out of bed, Steve's old gym shirt flowing past your knees. Your legs were cold.

It was Billy. Great. Just great. "You wanna come over?" god, no. You shook your head, "no, I can't, I'm sorry. I've got to study. No distractions," you added, remembering that one time you let Billy come over while you were studying. You could literally see his shrug, "all right."

You groaned in relief as Billy hung up, walking back over to your bed, sliding back under the doonas. You didn't actually have any studying to do. Billy was just... a handful. Steve was right about that.

The phone rang again. "For fuck's sake!" you shouted angrily, stomping back over. You were about to yell at Billy, no shits to give, but Billy spoke before you could yell at him. "Are you at home?" and you grumbled loudly, "yes, I already said I'm at home studying." and you could almost hear Billy's grin, "that was a trick question. I know you're at home, because I'm calling you with the phone in your living room." that was so fucking creepy! Why would -

"Steve?" "Ya-huh. Your mum let me in." oh. So Billy wasn't Billy. Billy was Steve. You blew out heavily into the reciever, "oh thank god, I -" and Steve grinned at the front door of your room, "let me guess. You didn't want it to be Billy?"

You wanted to say yes, so bad. You just wanted to cry to him, admit that he'd been right all along, tell him how much you hated Billy, kiss him and say, please, please take me away from here.

But then you remembered your birthday party in 1981 where your newest guest, Nancy Wheeler, was making out with your best friend and crush, Steve Harrington.

You shook your head, "no. I'm just glad it was you." Steve grinned, "is that my shirt?" even though he already knew the answer as he walked into your bedroom. You rolled your eyes, "of course it is, Steven."

but Steve was still grinning, "don't you have Billy's clothes to wear?" and you scowled at his words, "I'm not wearing leather jackets to sleep." though that wasn't the full reason why you didn't wear Billy's clothes. You had a lot of his shirts. It was just... they didn't smell like Steve.

Steve rolled his eyes, "whatever. Can you not talk about Billy for like, just five minutes?" and your jaw dropped at him, "are you serious, Steven? You were the one who brought him up!" and you crossed your arms, glaring at him profuesly, trying to figure out exactly why he was blaring so hot and cold.

Steve sighed sheepishly, "alright. I'm sorry." pulling you close and hugging you. "Hey. Wanna go watch a movie or something?" speaking into the top of your head. You smiled into him, "yeah, sure. Just let me get changed." and Steve pouted at this, "but Iike it when you wear my shirts. Nancy never wears my clothes." and you scowled, "I'll get arrested for nudity. Now turn around, you perv."

Steve grinned, "whatever you say." and you checked that he really was turned around before pulling off his gym shirt and throwing on a dress. Steve whined loudly, "Y/N! Can't you wear one of my jumpers. Please." and you scoffed, "you act like you want people to think we're dating!" you waited for a reaction, but all Steve did was smile. You rolled your eyes, "fine. Now come on!"

Monday night

Steve loved the roads near Y/N's house. All the cobblestones were broken, but there was a time where they were kids and he played a game with her where you couldn't touch the lines on the road. She got a scrape on her knee and cried into him for half an hour before letting him put on the band-aid, but it was one of his favourite memories.

He was playing the game now, though he was sure he'd stepped on at least five or six lines. He was too preoccupied, distracted.

"Don't say it's bullshit, Nancy!" Steve was the second to raise his voice, throat shaky. "Don't fucking say it's bullshit!" tears were threatening to spill from his eyes as Nancy crossed her arms, "oh yeah? It's bullshit. B - U - L - L - S - H -" Steve slammed the door in her face, anger seething out. It was the fourth time they'd broken up, but this time Steve knew it was final. He didn't love her anymore. He was pretty sure he'd never loved her.

"YOU SAID YOU WERE STUDYING BUT I SAW YOU WITH HARRINGTON AT STARCOURT, AND YOU WERE WEARING HIS JUMPER! YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIM, HAVEN'T YOU? I'VE SEEN THE WAY YOU LOOK AT HIM, YOU FUCKING SLUT!"

The rage and sirens blew through Steve's mind. All he saw was red, red as Billy grabbed Y/N's wrist, red as Steve barrelled over across the road to where they were standing.

Steve tried his best to be gentle, but he threw Y/N away from Billy, shoving her lightly to the side, out of his reach. He drew an invisible line from him, Y/N, and Billy, and as soon as Y/N was on his side of the line, Steve tumbled over, yelling in rage.

You watched the scene in horror. Steve was wrestling with Billy, screaming, literally screaming, in his face. "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH HER, HARGROVE!" the shock rested on your face and you were sure that it would never come off. "DON'T FUCKING TREAT HER LIKE THAT, YOU ASSHOLE!"

But then Billy laughed, flipping the two of them around so that he was the one giving the punches, and you were still watching in horror before a scream leapt out of your mouth. "STEVE!" you tried to run over but your legs wouldn't move. They were glued to the ground, fearful of what would happen if they did.

Steve grunted softly before heaving his breath heavily, muttering something under his breath. Then you screamed again, because now Steve was throwing punches. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen until Billy clocked out.

Your legs started working again. The tears sprang from your eyes as you ran over, shattered and uneven breaths tumbling from your mouth. "Steve," his name came out as more of a gasp, you reached up to try to clean the blood from his face but he took your hand away gently, shaking his head.

"Are you okay?" he pulled you close to him and even though you hated yourself for it, you cried into his shirt. You nodded violently, choking out the words. "Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. Are you - are you okay? Stevie." looking up at him with big, doe eyes.

Steve grunted again before nodding, "yeah, I'm okay. I just. God, I fucking hate your boyfriend." he let out a hollow laugh and you thought for a while. You sniffed, "he's not my boyfriend anymore." and Steve hugged you again, "good."

There was a long, calming silence when you spoke again. You stood on your tip-toes to look him in the eyes, "Stevie?" and he placed his lips on your head, "hmm." the words tumbled out unwillingly, "would it be okay if I kissed you?" knowing full well what the answer would be, knowing full well that loved Nancy and not you.

So it shocked you when Steve smiled and said, "I was actually planning on doing that." but you put your head into his shirt softly and mumbled the words, "no, it's okay. I know you love Nancy. Don't kiss me just 'cause I asked you. I was just being silly, I -"

Steve groaned into the kiss, and it was just like how he'd thought it would be. Your lips were soft and warm and radiated a warmth through his entire body. He was so scared to let go, afraid you would break if he did, but when he finally pulled apart, he saw your smile, and he knew you were not broken anymore. Steve kissed your forehead softly, "I love you." you buried your head into the neckline of his shirt, "I love you too."

>> stranger things masterlist << requests are open!

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#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x you #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x fem!reader #fanfic #stranger things #joe keery #billy hargrove

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oceanno · 2 years

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taking a break from the tumblr break for this ask game eheh i was tagged by @blueorca (thank youuu!! <3333) to put any of my playlists on shuffle & share the first 10 songsss

1. dream by Shawn Mendes

2. het is goed zo by bente

3. je ne sais pas danser (piano version) by lonepsi

4. don’t make it harder on me by Chloe x halle

5. soulmate by lizzo

6. sucker by Jonas brothers

7. her mevsim yazim by zeynep bastik

8. krvn by uzi

9. ich geh heut nicht mehr tanzen by AnnenMayKantereit

10. loco in acapulco by four tops

tagging @gianniisantetokounmpo @macbethwitches @libraleam @misswitchh @wnine <33333 no pressure ofc <3 kisses <333

#these are messyyyyy bc it’s just my likes on shuffle so we could’ve gotten either one direction #russian rap or somewhere in between #hm btw I’m sorry if any of these song names are not right nsksks but we move #often forget how much of a banger sucker is.. meu Deus muy buena mesmo laced w smth

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griffin-wood · 1 year

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hi alya!! so i was looking at your pinterest boards the other day and iris and sorrel la cour highkey caught my interest. if it’s okay, i’d like to know more about them. no pressure ofc 💞

hiii nikka! I hope you're doing well, thank you for sending this in! 🥹❤️ Under the cut cause it got too long!

so so sooo, sorrel and iris are related! I'm indecisive to either make them twins or, sorrel being the big bro. however, for this post; I'm leaning over big bro and lil sis more hehe!

to put it short, now i think about it - ways to describe them both; sorrel and iris are polar opposites, but they have a lot in common. example, fashion. they both has quite a wardrobe; however. Their aesthetics are purely different. iris is more flowery pastel, while sorrel leans towards bold but dark colors. (black is always gonna be his prime color. something like this )

for personality wise; iris is more kinder and softer than sorrel. Sorrel is mostly brutally honest, and tend to love to joke around a lot (his traits include being a goofy asshole at times) . they were pretty different in that area, but somehow in the family, they understood each other in quite a deeper basis. He wouldn't be jokingly brutally honest to her, despite Iris's insistence. And in the family, Sorrel somehow is known as the big bro more despite the idea of twins. (I'm still working on that hdjd) but but, sorrel is definitely protective but not like in a bad way. He's pretty protective of her in a big brother way, not too much not too little.

I think their involvement and their history linked to being hunters, i have this little head canon; they actually enjoy the idea of supernaturals. Iris mostly tend towards the less gory ones, however sorrel is definitely the opposites. However, Sorrel joined first, and somehow Iris is pretty intrigue and trying her luck. And bam, she got in. Iris is more skilled in strategy, she is pretty terrified still with weapons, but she consider her mind is her greatest mind! (she's a smart gal growing up!) while sorrel is a mixed of cunning and weapons! so, leaning more towards cunning actually! I think Sorrel's reaction to Iris also joining it, be like. "OH, we're gonna be the dope one's in the family." 😌

Speaking of family, I feel like they both have a lot of other siblings growing up in a close knit family. Sorrel however, is closest to Iris more growing up. And iris, well; she's the golden child somehow? She tends to be more...people pleasing towards her family especially. Like, she loves it but Sorrel well, as the protective brother he is, doesn't see it as well healthy. Sorrel tends to do against the family wishes growing up, but he's better now. But, still - they are quite close in family too hehe!

ALSO, THEIR RO'S! Sorrel is romancing Kaia while Iris is romancing Blane. I think for Iris and Blane is more of a grumpy x sunshine vibes, shy sunshine with grumpy one hehe. Idk why, I just feel like this would be a fun scenario to play with hehe! But, i like how she feels like; Blane is actually valid to 'hate' or dislike her, but she's like - she's gonna be kind either way. That's how she always will be <3 (two by sleeping at last is i think iris's song towards blane. like, written in music form!)

While, for sorrel and kaia; its super UNEXPECTED. (re: listen to labyrinth by t.swift, i think the chorus, fits them SOMEHOW). Sorrel tend to just joke around Kaia, however, its just so unexpected how much he much he feels for her yknow? (wonder by shawn mendes brrrr and moreee for their tracks hehe)

I think that's what I got so far! ALSO, here's a bit of their playlist hehe, as a small treat! <3

sorrel's lil playlist:

iris's lil playlist:

ty again nikka! love youuuuuuuuuuuu ! i enjoyed writing this hehe as a good uni distraction hihi! hope youre doing great <3

#my asks #answered #oc: sorrel la cour #oc: iris la cour #when twilight strikes #my oc's

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mendesficsxbombay · 4 years

Text

just let me adore you | s.m

my third fic this month! this is absolutely NOT like me!!

Requested ‘fluff’ from this prompt list:

34: you look so comfy and cuddleable

40: I’m not going to get sick you baby. Just let me hold you, can we just stay in bed

The call cuts off and she lets out her longest sigh of the day. It’s her fourth time calling him in a row, when otherwise, it’s him doing the calling.

She let off the calls and texts the last few days, their relationship was still so fresh how dare she appear clingy to this beautiful boy she’s liked for as long as she can remember? As soon as they put a tag on it, the years of knowing each other, and the knowledge of each of their tricks and tactics went out the window. Three months in and they still act like teenagers with their first crush. Not that there is anything wrong with teenagers and crushes, but they’ve both already lived through that phase of life, why are they back here again?

She racks her brain for alternatives, then furiously rubs at her temples as if that would make her thoughts come through easier. She could call up their friends, see if they’ve heard something from him in the last week. She hadn’t seen him for 7 days, his last message was 4 days ago. She could march over to his house but again … they’ve only been together together for three months. She’s not sure if she’s allowed to go knocking on his door without notice. Then again what if he’s in danger and she is the only one who thought about saving him? What if she is his only hope? He is the current Prince of Pop, the people wanting to cause harm to him must be endless.

She scoffs at her usual downward spiral. Everyone in the world is not out to get him. He’s worked with her through her panic multiple times, so if he knew how much she worried about him why not just give her a heads up that he’s alive and safe?

His apartment is really just twenty minutes away from hers after all, she could go over - she should go over. She purses her lips while looking at her black phone screen, as if staring at it hard enough will just, you know, make him call. But that’s not how the world works. And so she marches to her room to collect her bags, picks up her keys on the way, and sets off to his house.

She used to do this all time, earlier - showing up unannounced. They’d spent a better part of three years being strictly friends. Nothing more. Except the times she would catch him staring at her a bit longer than what seemed normal, or when she would put in extra efforts to dress up when she knew she would be seeing him. They had been introduced through friends, an effort to club their friend groups into one large social circle, and they didn’t have a lot in common, but that’s what worked for them. They lived each other’s lives through the other’s eyes, and sometimes, that’s all you need in a friend.

Unfortunately, most times they saw each other outside of their respective flats, there was alcohol involved. And bottled feelings and bottles of alcohol never really mix well. They used to play this game, they used to order drinks for each other, with the promise that the other would have to finish the drink, and the swear was on their friendship. A year and a half or so of knowing each other later, they found themselves exchanging kisses in dark corners of clubs and pubs, a glass of whatever they bought each other in hand.

Soon enough, they didn’t need the liquid courage. Although it was the sort of thing that everyone knew of and no one said aloud, they kept their distance in front of their friends and the sneaking around never really ceased. And what their friends don’t know, didn’t hurt them. As if their friends didn’t know why or how they always arrived and left together. As if they didn’t notice that after a while she had chosen to stop bringing her car to these parties altogether because she knew she would ride back with him anyway.

At some point, a boy she knew from university, a far off member of said social circle asked her out. And quite boldly so. In front of all their friends and at their favourite bar. She brushed it off, said she wasn’t interested. But he persisted. And that’s where Shawn stepped in. Gently, yet firmly, pushed the guy back from closing in on her so publicly. He said she wasn’t interested and he should have listened the first time. He asked him to learn. To do better. Then took her hand and left the place.

The car was silent for the first time in all the rides they’d taken together. She didn’t like it. But she also didn’t have the guts to ask what all of that was about until she realised that he wasn’t driving to her place, he was straight on his way to his.

She softy asked about why they were going to his, and his eyes widened as if he hadn’t realised that himself. He spluttered for a second, and then ‘fessed up. He felt she was the safest if she stayed over at his that night - if she was okay with it. He knew he sounded like a hypocrite, making her decisions for her and all, but just this one time, he couldn’t reign it in.

She didn’t say anything back then, just linked her fingers through his on the centre console and leaned back against the headrest. He took it as a sign and brought her home. That night, they slept the best either of them ever had.

The next morning, she asked him to be hers, and that was that.

Three months in, though, she’s pulling up to his apartment and she’s more nervous than she was the first time she met him. It’s the fear of the unknown, really. What if he had another girlfriend on the side this whole time and he didn’t tell her so he wouldn’t hurt her feelings. She’s been cheated on before, she knows how gullible she is. It was really not hard for her past boyfriends to sneak around. But Shawn’s not like that. Or is he?

Riding up the elevator she send up a quiet prayer to anyone who was willing to listen. Please let me still be with him at the end of the night, I can’t lose him.

She walks out of the lift as if she’s headed for war. Her head is spinning already but really, what was she expecting if she so suddenly decided to confront the panic she had been wallowing in for days now?

She took in a deep breath, and knocked on his door, patiently waiting for whatever was on the other side. She could take it (could she?). She would put on a brave face and confront - his mom?

“Babe! It’s so nice to see you here!” The older woman exclaimed, gently pulling her into a hug and rubbing her back, like she did with her son. “Shawn didn’t tell me you were coming over, I would’ve made some food for you as well!”

“Oh I - didn’t actually tell him I was coming over, Miss Rayment, he-“ it is okay, you can talk to her, she knows you are together and she loves you through it all, just keep talking, “He hasn’t really answered my calls or texts these last few days, I didn’t know what was wrong so I came over.” She winced finally, somewhat ashamed for showing up.

“Is that so?” Karen frowned a little, letting go of her and finding her way into the kitchen. “Babe, he’s been sick for a week, it was the stomach bug, but then his body was heating up, too, and I called him on the second day of it - he didn’t sound too good and you know what mums are like, I packed a bag and drove right over. We had him speak to a doctor over the phone, thank god he doesn’t have any events lined up anytime soon, because the meds keep him knocked out for most of the day. I did expect him to call you, though.”

“Yeah, me too,” she whispers, her face growing hot with embarrassment, and she didn’t know why. “May I go up and see him? Is he awake?”

His mom smiles and nods, saying she’ll be down here if they need her.

She silently pads her way up the stairs of his penthouse, cursing herself for thinking the worst of him while he just lay here drugged up and sick. She felt sorry for him and for herself, too. Why couldn’t she have figured this out sooner?

Before she knows it she’s standing outside his room, and there’s no turning back. She softly knocks twice, and waits for a response she isn’t sure she would receive. She turns the doorknob gently, aware of the slight creak it usually lets out.

The room was darker then usual, the curtains to his floor to ceiling windows were drawn shut, and there was one nightlight glowing softly in the corner of the room. It took her a second to make out his figure under the lumps of the duvet pulled over him. She felt sadder than she did a second ago, thinking of how uncomfortable he must’ve been these last few days and how she wished she could just take it all away.

There was a tiny empty spot on the bed next to his torso, she found a place for herself there. The covers were pulled up to his chin, his hair looked messier than it did usually and he looked so much younger, as if he was at peace even when his body wasn’t.

She snaked her pinky through his, through the hand that was peaking out from under the layers of warmth. His lips parted slightly, hand curling around hers even when he continued to sleep. This was their secret move every time they were in public. Like a silent hi, I’m here when they couldn’t say it aloud.

She peppered a few kisses to his forehead, light enough to not awake him, but dusty enough so he knew they were there. She saw his face scrunch just for a second, smiling to herself because of how much of a baby her big, strong boyfriend really was. It was adorable.

She wanted to test how far she could go before he woke up. She smirked a little at the thought, remembering the last time she had stayed over at his, just last week, on this same bed. There wasn’t a lot of sleeping that happened that night.

She leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, and she got the exact reaction she got every time. His lips puckered against hers for a second before falling into a deeper sleep, lips parting again. Her heart warmed and she almost awww ed for real, but he was still sick, and still needed rest, so with one last long look at her love, she left the room again.

Downstairs she found his mom on the phone on the pretty white couch everyone loved so much, patiently waiting for her to hang up.

“What’s up, he still sleeping?”

“Yes… I was thinking I could make something for dinner since you’ve cooked this whole time?”

“Oh, you really don’t have to I could just -“

“No, please, I want to. Is soup and garlic rice okay with you?”

It was the first real meal she had learned when she was 16, and it was her signature. Everyone loved it. You couldn’t possibly go wrong with it. When his mum smiled and nodded as a reply, she knew they loved it too after she brought it home to them when they visited for Christmas.

She went into the kitchen, happy to see most of the ingredients she would need. This would be a different case if his mum hadn’t come over, she would’ve only found fruits and frozen meat and some form of soda or beer in his fridge.

She could cook this one with her eyes closed, so she was done relatively quicker. Just an hour later she was eating dinner with his mum, catching up on lost time.

After the dishes were dried and put up, his mum asked if she was going to spend the night. She wanted to, but she also didn’t wish to overstep. She said she would wait till Shawn was up and had dinner and then leave. Karen understood and gave her a warm hug, a kiss to her head and found her way to the guest room.

In the meantime she found the few books she had left at his house for him to read - as he had specifically asked, and she knew he hadn’t even touched the covers - and cuddled into the throw he usually had by the couch.

When he come down the stairs an hour and 7 chapters later, he looked like the most beautiful train wreck. His cheeks were flushed red from the sleep and his body heat that she hoped had stabilised, and wasn’t increasing anymore. He wore a black muscle tee and gym shorts, yawning and making his way into the kitchen slowly, and it hurt to see her otherwise tough guy be this fragile.

She waited for him to notice her. It was another challenge they had between them, he prided himself in how attuned he was to her, he could walk into a room and sense if she was there, too. Usually she would hide and try to throw him off but he found her, always. Which is why when he froze in front of the stove and let out a choked breath (it was probably a gasp but, you know, he is sick right now) and turned around, she couldn’t help but grin like a lovesick fool.

“What.. are you?” He stuttered, his voice down several decibels, a throaty rasp which, in any other condition would’ve sent chills down her spine.

“Heard someone was sick,” she sighed, putting her book down and joining him in the kitchen. “You hungry? I made dinner. The garlic will do good for your throat and tummy.”

“And mom?” She turned around to reheat the soup and toss around the rice a bit more.

“We ate and she went to bed.”

“Are you mad at me?”

She finally looked at him, looking like a wounded puppy sitting by the breakfast bar. It was hard to stay mad at him, but she would hold her ground this time.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Shawn?” He only ducked his head down, looking anywhere but her. So great, now he’s sick AND guilty.

Shawn liked being taken care of - but he hated people having to worry about him. He hated being the subject of someone’s concern - especially those closest to him. He liked knowing that there were people who had his back but he hated having to use that support for anything. It made him feel guilty and incapable - a habit she was trying to rid him of since their first year of knowing each other.

“Didn’t want you to worry.”

“So you worried your mum who lives an hour away?”

“No she was… going to come over anyway.”

“No she wasn’t. Just last week you said she probably wouldn’t come over for a bit because she had things to finish back at home. She told me during dinner, too. So what’s the real reason?”

She plated three scoops of rice and a bowl of soup and passed it over the counter to him, then sat down right where she was. He felt like that was a kick to his lungs. He would say guts but his lungs were weaker at the moment. She never, ever passed up an opportunity to sit next to him, to be pressed up to him, and looking at her settle herself so far away from him (four feet away is quite far when you’re in love) let him know he really messed up this time.

“Didn’t want you to think I’m weak,” he mumbled around a spoonful of rice to make sure he didn’t hear him correctly. She did, though.

“You falling sick would make me think you’re weak? Are you out of your mind or are the meds that heavy in dosage?”

“Look it’s just - you’re so strong? You’re immune system is made of fucking metal. And then there’s me. I get a cold every few months even though it can seriously harm my singing. And then I get a fever or stomach bug or just - something - every few months and like - You deserve someone stronger. I didn’t want you to be bothered by this.”

“Okay so the meds are definitely still working their magic,” she muttered as he rolled his eyes. “You have got to be joking, Shawn, look at you! How on earth could I possibly find someone stronger than you? You picked the worst time to be insecure honestly.”

She glared at him but stayed silent to let him have a bit of the soup, pushing back the urge to smile as his face almost unclenched at the taste and his shoulders sank in relief. She was a good cook and she knew it.

“You do realise that I would’ve been more than happy to come over and help you out? I came up to your room and you looked so comfy and cuddleable I would’ve jumped right in to sleep too had you not looked so sick. What even happened anyway?”

“The doctor said it was because of a weather change, it’s a common cold but the stomach bug might be the real problem. You know how you came over on Saturday and then I dropped you home and went out with the boys? I think the meat I had wasn’t so good. So he advised vocal rest and then said I should eat home as much as possible for the coming few days or weeks. That’s all.”

“And you called you mum? Why, doesn’t she also think you’re weak? Now that she still has to look after you?” She hit back in frustration, “Look, if you didn’t want me to come over, you could’ve just said so, but dropping off the face of the earth was not it and I was really fucking worried, so thank you.”

“But, baaaabe I said I’m sorry,” he whined, his face scrunching up again as if he was in physical pain.

“I’m only mad because - Shawn, wouldn’t you have done the same for me? Why are the rules different for you?”

He pursed his lips as it fully sank in, she wasn’t mad, she was upset. And all that could’ve been avoided very easily but he did nothing to solve it.

“I understand, and the next time something happens, you’ll be the first to know so you can come over and make me all this yummy soup and then you can yell at me a bit more for being so careless. But until then, please don’t be mad at me again?”

She glared at him for a bit longer until her resolve finally broke. There wasn’t really a way for her to stay mad at him still looking like so soft. She cleaned up after he was done eating some more, handing him his medicines like Karen had asked her to.

She linked her pinky through his as they climbed up the stairs, suppressing a smile again as she saw him turn his head towards her with a look of wonder evident. He asked her if she was going to spend the night, she said she would only stay until he fell asleep because she still had work tomorrow, but she would drop in before and after.

She got him into bed first, nicely tucking his head in in the many pillows he had, curls fluffing out at the top as he looked at her dreamily. She pulled the covers up to tuck herself in next to him as she usually did, only to have him slap his hand down on the covers, snatching them out of her hands.

“What are you doing?!” His eyes grew wide as if what she did actually offended him.

“uh, getting in with you?”

“I’m sick and you shouldn’t be getting in anywhere with me. I’ll get you a chair or something to sit in-” and he was already struggling to get up and out of bed when she calmly put her hands on his shoulders to push him down again.

“Stop moving around so much, you don’t have the energy. I’m not going to get sick you baby and you’re not contagious. I already have sinusitis, you couldn’t possibly give me more of a cold than I’ve lived with my whole life. And your stomach bug won’t magically transfer to me. Just let me hold you, okay?”

He gulped nervously as she slipped in next to him, worry flashed across his features. But it melted away slowly as she tucked herself around him, her head coming to rest under his chin, over his heart as it always did. He hadn’t held his girl in a week. It felt good.

“Can we just stay in bed, forever?” He mumbled sleepily.

She snickered lightly, “I’m sure we can arrange that. Until then do you wanna watch something? Harry Potter, maybe?” She found his television remote by the bed, and pulled up his queue of movies on the screen.

His eyes narrowed at her - “You don’t even like Harry Potter?”

She finally smiled at him, patting his cheek and settling down again.

“It’s okay, I like you.”

taglist: @shawnwyr @mendesstories @lanallaa @sleepybesson @rulerofnocountry @luvluvxx @wholesomemendes @c25905 @angl-phile

dm to be added or removed ♥️

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mendeshoney · 4 years

Text

Take Me As I Am (masterlist)

A/N: This follows the popstar/teacher trope and it is definitely overdone but I wanted to put my own spin on it. This is also the first thing I’ve ever done with an original female character who is also a person of color, so we’re gonna take this one chapter at a time and see how this goes.

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

#shawn mendes writing #shawn mendes x ofc #mendeshoney masterlist #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn peter raul mendes

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gentlemanmendes · 6 years

Text

Beauty Behind the Madness | 23|

Previous parts can be found in my masterlist under beauty behind the madness

A/n lately I’ve been having really bad anxiety at night which is in result is the end of this chapter I apologise for my constantly angsty mood I think it has an affect on my writing lol

Warning not proof read

23:

I placed a kiss on the top of Arleigh’s head causing her to let out a grumble as she walks away from me. I know she’s always hated PDA but I couldn’t help it, I finally had her back and I wanted everyone to see it. Everyone in this moment was the few people eating breakfast at the buffet. Ignoring Alreigh’s eye-roll I grab a stale croissant and make my way back to our table.

“What?” Arleigh quizzed a sheepish smile making its way across her face as she stared at me waiting on an answer.

“Nothing I’m just happy.” I retort with a shrug as the memories of last night rush back to me. Arleigh’s flushed cheeks as she stared up at the roof. I had wondered what she had been thinking, if she had regretted it. We sat in silence for a long time me continuing to stare at Alreigh and although I knew she hated the fact that I wouldn’t stop grinning a her I fought sight of the small smile playing on her lips as she kept her attention completely on her bowl of cereal trying to hide it.

Last night, no matter how cliche it sounds, had been the best night of my life. To be able to physical connect with Alriegh in the way that we emotionally connected felt stronger. It was reassuring, after all this time and everything that happened between us the passion had still be there, and maybe even grown stronger. Everything that has happened in the last few months between us had been a lesson, a lesson that had made me grow in ways I didn’t know were possible but I know that things are far from smooth sailing between Arleigh and I. The last thing I wanted to think about was what would happen when we got home. Our parents will no doubt be pissed, there is the issue of Layla, and the one I dread the most we still need to properly talk about everything that happened that night or more importantly where we now stand with one another.

I refuse to mention any of these things to Arleigh because I don’t want to face reality just yet and I get the feeling she doesn’t want to either. For a few moments we can just escape in the here and now pretending that all our problems are far out of reach.

“Are you nervous?” I ask Arleigh. Today we had only planned our day we hadn’t really gone into much detail, I couldn’t help but wonder what was running through Arleigh’s head right now. Was she scared? I know if the tables were turned I would be, if Mr Axle wasn’t telling her maybe there was a good reason behind it, regardless Arleigh deserved the right to know.

She gave a shrug letting out a sigh as the smile slowly disappeared from her face and for a moment it made me regret what I had asked, I never wanted to see that smile leave her face but it would of happened at some point today.

“I guess.” She paused for a moment frowning lightly to herself as she it down on her lip as of trying to figure out what she would say. “I don’t really know how to explain it.” She sighed again as if trying to let all her trouble out.

“I understand.” And honestly I do, because that was how it felt as I walked the short distance across the park to see her on Thursday night. That seemed so long ago now but it was only three days ago.

“I’m so scared of what will happen but at the same time it will be a relief to finally put this all behind me . But then what if it’s bad and I just ruined everything and won’t be able to go on?”

“Life is like a train station, we always have a choice. You get on a platform and are left with two options, which ever one you choose will lead you to another destination but will also gift you with another decision of where to go next. What’s important is that you don’t dwell on what could have been because at that time that was you wanted to do with the your life. We are always changing our minds, can you imagine if we all thought the way we did ten years ago? Every situation is a lesson learned, if you go find out what happened to your mum I can bet you it will be heart breaking but at least you will find your relief. If you choose not to them at least something decent came out of this whole trip.” I winked at her at the end causing her to laugh again. She looked away as if trying to turn her attention else were to regain her composure before turning back to me, the ghost of a smile still playing on her lips. But her eyes are what caught my attention most. They weren’t as dark and lifeless as they had been a few months ago when she stepped into that classroom and we saw each other for the first time since that night. Now they were bright and full of life, the Alriegh I had always known, she seemed eager to do so much, take everything around her in to stare in the back of her mind for later.

“Since when were you so wise? Shawn Mendes the philosopher.” She exaggerated rolling her eyes causing me to laugh.

Sitting here at breakfast with her I was reminded again of all the reasons why I loved her. The past few months I had missed her but never once realised how good it would feel to have her back in my life. It was as if there had been a hole in me and a part of me was always slowly seeping out of it but Arleigh had just patched it up.

“Since when were you the type to open up about how you feel?” I shot back causing her to narrow her eyes at me skeptically as she mumbled a touché.

“Seems like we both learned a few lessons in these past couple of months.”

“Lessons I never want to learn again.” I breath out leaning back in my chair in relief, it felt like the hardest chapter I had ever undergone in my life was over. Does that mean the story is finally coming to an end? Which again brings me to what happens now with Arleigh and I?

We push ourselves up from the table and thank the waitress before we make our way out of the restaurant, past reception to the doors that led to the car park. As we move to the car to get in I hear someone loudly call my name causing my eyes to widen. It sounded a lot like my mother’s voice. Part of me wants to turn around and see if it really is her or if I’m imagining things but another part of me is positive she really is there and would rather turn and run away instead of facing her right now. I knew I would get into a lot of trouble for this but I thought it would at least be when I got home not before we even found out at we came here to do.

My mum keeps calling out to me and by the sound of her voice I can tell she’s getting closer. Realising that I can’t exactly run away from my mother because I would just be putting off the inevitable, I close the car door and turn around to face her. How the hell did she know where we were? We made sure to be careful, we left our phones and credit cards at home so they wouldn’t be traced.

When my mum gets closer I brace myself for what is to come burI know that no matter how much warning I was given I would never be able to prepare myself to face my mum after what I did. I know it was wrong and selfish and I could have at least left a note but Arleigh needed me and most importantly she needed to make sure her dad never found out. If my parents new where we were they would have told Mr Axle straight away, not to be spiteful just because they would be worried for him and Arleigh.

“Mum I’m…” I attempted to apologies but am quickly cut off by my mum.

“Shawn, what were you thinking?” She shrieks causing me to wince back. I hated putting my parents through this, I hated playing the part of the troubled teen. My parents raised me better than that and I know that every time I do something as bad as this, which has only been a hand full of times, they blame themselves and question their parenting.

For a moment I see sympathy flash across my dads face as he hovers behind my mum but disappointment was quick to return.

“I can not believe you would do something so careless and stupid! Your father and I have never said no to you for anything why wouldn’t you tell us? Tell me what exactly is the meaning of all this shawn? ” she has stopped throwing her hands around and has now placed them on her hips as she looks up at me expectantly waiting for an answer. Although I’m much taller than my mum I can’t help but cower away under her gaze. I open my mouth to answer bug no words come out. What the hell was I supposed to say?

“Mrs Mendes it was me.” For a moment I fell confused having forgotten about Arleigh being here completely but as I watch my parents gaze drift from me to Arleigh, my mother’s expression softening rapidly; she’s always had a soft spot for Arleigh, I feel my body relax at her presence beside me knowing that I wasn’t alone. It was a relief to finally feel as if I finally had someone on my side, to stand by me no matter what, I had been drowning in a sea of loneliness for so long that I had forgotten what it felt like.

“Arleigh?” My mum questions as if surprised that the two of us are together, maybe seeing us side by side is only making it all the more real.

“Arleigh your father is worried sick about you.” My dad jumps in taking a step forward so instead of standing behind my mum he is now beside her.

“Is he,” Arleigh looks behind my parents hesitantly as if expecting her dad to pop out of nowhere. “Is he here?”

“No. We didn’t want him to find shawn alone with you.” my dad reassures her sending her a sympathetic look. I can only imagine just how crazy mr Axle must have gone once he found out that I had magically disappeared the same time as Arleigh had. I feel guilty the most for having put my parents through dealing with how Mr Axle must have reacted.

“Which brings us back to why you two left in the first place.” My mum says although she has seemed to calmed down now with Arleigh in the picture. As long as Arleigh is around I should be safe.

I look over to Arleigh hesitantly as I part my mouth to make something up but she is too focused on the ground and I’m at a complete loss of words. I figure I will just say the first thing that comes to mind and not think it through but Arleigh decides to break her silence.

“I want to know what happened to my mum. ” she answers honestly never lifting her attention from the gravel road of the motel car park that she is focused so intently on.

I don’t know how to respond to that and by the looks on my parents faces they don’t know how to either. They seem completely shocked yet somehow like they had expected this. Sympathy was clear on both their faces and I know that is the reason why Arleigh refuses to meet their gazes. She hates when people feel sorry for her which is one of the reasons she never opens up to people. She wants to come off as this strong hard person when deep down she is soft and emotional. There is nothing wrong with that and I can’t bring myself to understand why she feels the need to display such a hard front and I probably never will. I don’t know why she pretends to be someone she’s not.

“Arleigh this isn’t the right way to find out.” My mum signs causing me to object bug she sends me a warning look. “Shawn don’t you dare start.” She tells me but by the look in her eye I can tell that there is something she isn’t telling me. She is practically pleading me with her eyes not to object and although I want to fight her on this I can’t help but give in. I let out a sigh of dismay but I bid my head in response. My mum moves towards Arleigh and wraps her arm around her.

“Quick question, how did you find us?” I ask the question that is eating at me. We were sure to be as careful as possible and yet they still found us. My mum sends me a knowing look before shaking her head in response.

“Your number plate Shawn. When we woke to your car missing and you weren’t in bed and then a frantic Neighbour we tried calling you but soon figured you didn’t have your phone so we called up the toll company and they managed to tell us what the last toll you payed was and from there it wasn’t hard.” My dad explains astonishing me. I didn’t even think of something as simple as my number plate being traced. “We have been in this world a lot longer than you have.” He adds as of reading my thoughts

“Let’s get the two of you home.” My mum says gesturing towards her car though I will be driving my car with Arleigh home.

“Can I just go see my mum before we leave?” Arleigh asks lifting her gaze from the ground for the first time since we were confronted by my parents. I want to scream out to her to fight for her cause but when I look at her she seems tired, as if she has been fighting this war her whole life and now she was batter and bruised waving a shut flag to surrender and give it all up.

That is why I want to tell her to keep fighting. Arleigh is a fighter, for as long as I’ve known her she has been, which doesn’t make sense. Why is she willing to give up so easily right now? It doesn’t make sense, she is so close now.

My mum nods her head in understanding as she moves towards my dad who has gestured for her to move towards him.

“Why don’t you two go alone and we can meet up and have some lunch before we head home.” My dad suggestions causing Arleigh and I to nod in response but my mum seems a little hesitant but with one knowing look from my dad she gives in.

“Here is your phone, we gave you one for a reason.” My mum glowers as she pulls out my phone from her bag and hands it to me causing me to smile to myself as I make my way to my car.

Just as I’m about to get into my car my mum calls out to me causing me to stop and look at her.

“You’re grounded!” She says before turning around and walking away.

***

I hadn’t said anything to Arleigh on the way to the cemetery and had kept my mouth shut the whole time we were there. I had made to wonder off but instead Arleigh had gripped onto my arm and asked me to stay with her which I agreed to as she parted from my side to place the white lillies on the top of the grave and removing the stem of the previous laid flowers that were now wilted. The only time I had spoken was when Arleigh had just stood in silence staring at the grave.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” I wondered a little surprised. I didn’t really know anyone who had died so I hadn’t experienced going to a cemetery and wasn’t aware of what was supposed to happen but I had figured people usually say something.

“Shawn it’s just a decomposed body in a box a few feet underground, why would I say something?” She had sighed causing my grist to feel dry. I should have just kept my mouth shut because I didn’t know what to say back to that. “Some people find comfort in talking to the grave but I don’t. My mum is gone and I can’t change that. I don’t know what happens after but maybe their is a possibility that she already knows everything I want to say to her or maybe she is complete nothing now and forever gone to me. The point is nothing I say will make a difference.” She continues.

I decide to remain quite letting Arleigh pay her respects. The feeling that took over me was complete unease and I can’t help but wonder if that was the reason why I had remained so quite. There was no way to explain it but the fact that realisation hit me that every simple and stupid thing we worry about will one day mean nothing and that there are more important things like making sure the people we love know that we love them.

“It scares me too you know,” Arleigh says breaking the silence that had settled between us the last few hours. My mum had texted me the name of the restaurant she and my dad would be meeting us at. I look over to Arleigh for a breif second confused but she is still staring out at the road in front of us. "Dying, it scares me as well, I’m pretty sure it scares everyone.“ Arleigh continued I opened my mouth wanting to ask her how she knew what I was thinking about by decided against it. Was I that predictable? With Arleigh it always seemed I was, she was like a mind reader b

"It just sucks that we have no control over it.” I admit instead of denying the fact. What was the point. I realised in that moment that I was sick of fighting everything, what was the point if you never even won?

“That’s life shawn.” She sighs in agreement before chuckling lightly to herself. “God, today was so morbid and it’s only two pm.”

“Why didn’t you fight it? Why didn’t you fight my mum on it? Arleigh you deserve to know what happened.” I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I needed to say something.

“Shawn I don’t want to fight with your mum, she’s always been so kind to me. Besides I realised something.” She pauses.“ I realised that things between my dad won’t get better if I don’t try and I never try because I cower away. I’m going to force it out of him whether he likes it or not. Shawn we are eighteen years old and had to sneak out the window? It’s time he starts treating me like an adult otherwise by the end of this school year I don’t think there will be a chance for us to fix our relationship.” Although I know she is talking about her relationship with her dad I ant help but think that last part was aimed at me. I have from now till graduation to fix things with me and Arleigh and I have no idea on how to go about it. We can’t go on pretending that things are okay, everything between us is a mess of bruised emotions that we can’t get over and lost memories that we seem to be living in to escape the reality of things.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes series #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fiction #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes story #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes writing #shawn mendes angst series #shawn mendes x ofc #shawn mendes blurbs

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shawnwithlightson-blog · 6 years

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The Boxer. Chapter 4

Late April

“Soooo…” Emma started drumming her fingers on the cafe’s table.

“So….” Francesca mimicked, cutting into her crepe.

“Any plans for graduation?”

Francesca glanced up at Emma, knowing what she really meant by her question.

“You mean a ‘party’?”

Emma sheepishly tilted her head to the right then the left before mumbling into her Irish coffee, “One might say that…”

Francesca’s mouth curved into a small smile as she was yet again remained of how well she knew her roommate.

“Sorry Em, but I’m having dinner with my family.

As expected, Emma let out a extremely unbecoming ‘boo’ that had the people sitting on either side of them, shoot them dirty looks. They sat in silence for a moment, Francesca enjoying her crepe watching Emma have some sort of internal struggle.

“Well what do you think about me throwing a little party.”

“At the apartment?” Emma hummed her response causing Francesca to roll her eyes. “I don’t understand why you insist on always using our apartment. There aren’t a shortage of clubs and bars here in the city you know.”

“What are we in high school?” Francesca’s eyebrows knitted together as she tried to understand what Emma meant by the comment. But Emma continued to say, “Those places are lame.”

“You know what I find lame? The furniture in our living being destroyed.” Francesca sarcastically remarked.

Emma glared at her. “You will never let that go will you?”

“I will not.” Francesca ate a piece of sweet strawberry , shrugging her shoulders.

“Well how about I have the party after you move out because technically I would be the sole resident.”

Emma had a point but Francesca was still worried that she was allowing a dangerous precedent to be set.

“If I am moved out and no longer your roommate, why are you asking my permission to throw a party?”

Emma tried hard to contain herself but upon hearing Francesca’s words she broke out the ever cheesy and toothy grin. She lifted her drink with the intention of toasting to something but she set the drink back down.

“Hold up. You aren’t even going to intend your own graduation party?”

“Nope.”

“That is some hardcore anti-social behavior right there.”

Francesca giggled, happily finishing her crepe. Emma continued to talk about the party, already brainstorming a playlist of ‘bangers’ and the alcohol needed.

“Jonathan and the boys like whiskey.”

‘Jonathan and the boys?’ Francesca was going to have to proceed with caution. Inhaling deeply, Francesca pushed around the last few bits of her crepe. “You going to invite Jonathan?”

“Was thinking about it. His friend got a fight but everyone knows he is going to win. Just like a buffer fight to keep him busy you know.”

Humming her response, not trusting the words that would come out of her mouth. Something was telling her Emma might be using her graduation as a front to throw a party. But Francesca remembered that by the time of Emma’s party, she would be moved out and living quietly and peacefully on the upper east side.

All Francesca could do was smile. “I hope he wins.”

_____________________________________________________________________

May

The day was spent moving the last of her items out of the apartment. Her older brother helped carry everything out as her father stood in the living supervising the operation, taking a phone call ever other minute. Her older brother offered to take her to her parents’ place but she refused. His truck was packed and Francesca did not want to be crushed under the weight of her own personal items on her way across the island.* (island of manhattan)

Once they left, she closed her door to her room with every intention of reading, enjoying her last evening at the apartment. But she promptly fell asleep right as her body hit the bed.

Waking up, it felt as if she had slept for enternity. Her eyes immediately fell on the book, left untouched and unread just a few inches from her face. Flipping onto her back, she groaned, stretching her limbs. It was then that she heard the music. For a split second she thought it was coming from outside, maybe the people above them left their window open for all the world to hear their music. But then it hit her like a ton of bricks.

Inhaling deeply, she closed her eyes uttering a single, “Fuck.”

Her parents were expecting her and the party going on just behind her door made it completely impossible to go back to sleep. Rolling off of her bed she quickly changed into the light pink shirtdress and flats in order to look presentable when arriving home.

Lazily slinging the cross body bag across her chest, she took one last look at her now completely empty room. When she was ready, she took a moment to prepare herself before opening her bedroom door. It turned out to be a waste of time as she was still appalled at the scenes unfolding steps away from her. There was a couple making out on the couch, another not so discreetly dry humping in a doorway, red cups scattered all across the floor, and a strong scent that made her want to gag. Telling herself repeatedly to remain calm and to just keep her head down to sneak away from the debauchery.

“AW CHESSIE!” Francesca actually whimpered, knowing that she had been caught and the possibly of sneaking away unseen was now gone.

“Hey Jessie.” she shouted over the music that’s bass was so loud she was sure the windows were rattling.

Jessie throws herself at Francesca and Francesca catches her in an awkward hug. “I am so happy you are finally done!” Her congratulations was accompanied by a cheer that a few other girls joined in on.

Francesca’s face twisted in annoyance but Jessie failed to notice, leaning in close to whisper in her ear. “Who are all these hotties?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Francesca stated honestly. She added that Emma would know but Jessie just smirked.

“Hmm keeping them to yourself you naughty girl.”

“No, no. It’s not lik-“ she was cut off by her name yet again being shouted over the music and across the room. Francesca was surprised that she was so popular at her graduation party. Excusing herself from Jessie, promising to catch up over brunch one weekend, Francesca slipped through the crowd of people towards the kitchen.

Emma was seated atop of the counter, a small group in front of her. Emma was reaching her hands out towards her and she hated when Emma was drunk. Emma was so shameless and eager to get others to embarrass themselves that Francesca preferred to not be around her when drinks were served.

“Come here my little graduate.” Francesca was satisfied standing awkwardly off the shoulders of the guys in front of Emma. But Emma was not having it. “Come I want to introduce you to Jon’s friends.” She slurred and Francesca sighed, excusing herself as she made her way into the circle. Turning around so leaned back against the counter, beside Emma, crossing her arms across her chest.

“This is Adam, and Christopher, and this is Shawn.” Emma paused to gulp down her drink. “Shawn this is the girl you’re sharing a party with.”

Francesca turned her head to look at Shawn and she was surprised, despite the dim lighting, at how handsome he was. He was so tall that she couldn’t simply look at him but look ‘up’ to reach his dark eyes. Yet he remained silent not even offering her his hand. He just looked down at her and Francesca made a face whilst giving her attention back to Emma.

Placing her hand on Emma’s jean clad knee she shouted, “I’m going to leave I wil-“

“What?” Emma shouted with a bit more force than Francesca.

“I’m leaving !”

“No! You just got here silly billy!” Emma draped her arms over Francesca’s shoulders, wrapping them across her chest. Francesca was instantly uncomfortable and went to remove Emma’s clammy hands.

“You two should make out.” Some guy called out as he passed the circle. The boys all reacted quickly telling him to get lost, Christopher adding a hard shove for good measure.

“Would you like a drink?” Adam asked.

“No thank you. I’m on my way out.”

“But its your party!”

“Well it’s technically our party.” She states matter of factly, wagging her finger between herself and Shawn.

“Where are you headed?” Shawn inquired, taking her by surprise that he actually spoke.

“Home.”

“Do you need a ride?”

“No.” Francesca was going to add that she would be taking a cab but she thought her answer was sufficient. Quick, to the point, and a step closer to being on her way out the front door. Shawn though keep his eyes locked on hers as he sipped his drink. She was tempted to say something perhaps a thanking for your offer or a comment about her she doesn’t support drinking and driving, but she didn’t.

“Did you win your fight?”

He smirked, nodding his head. “I did.”

“Well congratulations.”

“Em,” she began tossing Emma’s arms off of her body, “I will text you once I’m home. Saying her goodbyes to the boys, she works her way out of the circle, politely mumbling an ‘excuse me’ as she passes Shawn.

Leaving the apartment building she hailed a cab and within the next half hour was at her parents’ place. Yawning she closed her bedroom door, falling onto the tufted bench in front of her neatly made bed. Texting Emma she was safe and sound on the upper east side, Francesca was surprised when she received a reply back so quickly.

the message read: good. 😍

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fic #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes ofc

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magicwithineleteo · 2 years

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hi, welcome to my blog :)

~ introduction :D

i'm soha, also known as mrhes, mrbehes, and mateo's wife ;)

she/her

minor!! (16)

gemini

infp

i'm indian but i live in the usa, est

muslim

~ stan/fan list :D

i stan the following (in no particular order):

zayn malik

lauren jauregui

ot5 one direction

ot5 fifth harmony

camila cabello

i am a fan of the following (in no particular order):

shawn mendes

sabrina carpenter

ariana grande

lyn lapid

sofia wylie

dara reneé

chloe x halle (and individually ofc)

youtubers:

daniel howell

phil lester

ayesha malik

answer in progress

courtreezy

dantdm

mikaela long

beta squad - niko omilana, sharky, aj shabeel, chunkz, king kenny

darkest man

thewizardliz

tam kaur

smashbengali

not even emily

~ main fandom info :D

elena of avalor <3 my ships are eleteo, jasabel, rafictor, gabaomi, etc

hsmtmts <3 my ships are rina, jetney, madlyn, seblos, jennzarra, etc

one direction <3 i've been a directioner since 2012

camila cabello/fifth harmony <3 i've been a harmonizer and camilizer since 2014

girl meets world <3 my fav characters are maya, farkle, and zay, and i SHIP lucaya!

h2o: just add water <3 my fav characters are bella, cleo, and lewis, and i SHIP clewis!

winx club (rai dub) <3 my fav characters are musa, layla, stella, flora, brandon, riven, nabu, and helia, and i SHIP MxR, SxB^2, LxN, FxH, and TxT!

avatar: the last airbender (animated) <3 my fav characters are zuko, katara, sokka, suki, uncle iroh, appa, and momo, and i SHIP zutara and sukka!

~ ask about these :D

ofc if you want to! no pressure! this is also my complete list of every piece of entertainment i stan/watched/read lmao

elena of avalor

hsmtmts

h2o: just add water

girl meets world

winx club

lemonade mouth

i didn’t do it

avatar: the last airbender (animated)

jessie

new girl

modern family

wizards of waverly place

disney (princess) movies especially frozen (1 and 2), aladdin, moana, tangled, the princess and the frog, coco, encanto, the little mermaid (2023) and zootopia

anastasia

stuck in the middle

bollywood movies and music

the unearthly series by cynthia hand

don’t look back my jennifer armentrout

the wonder series by rj palacio

wonder (2017)

only murders in the building

the prince of egypt

disney fairies

minecraft storymode

the school for good and evil (movie)

liv and maddie

alvin and the chipmunks movie franchise (2007, 2009, 2011, 2015)

the circle uk season 3 (hashu or manrika deserved to win i will die on this hill)

love island uk (seasons 5-10, including all stars)

~ comfort characters :D

mateo de alva (elena of avalor)

ricky bowen (hsmtmts)

gina porter (hsmtmts)

kourtney greene (hsmtmts)

dolores madrigal (encanto)

maya hart (girl meets world)

max russo (wizards of waverly place)

mason greyback (wizards of waverly place)

elsa (frozen)

parker rooney (liv and maddie)

ravi ross (jessie)

jack frost (rise of the guardians)

anthony foster (better nate than ever)

christian prescott (unearthly series)

jack will (wonder)

silvermist (disney fairies)

lukas (minecraft storymode)

agatha (the school for good and evil movie)

bella hartley (h2o: just add water)

cleo sertori (h2o: just add water)

lewis mccartney (h2o: just add water)

mohini banjaree (lemonade mouth movie)

olivia white (lemonade mouth movie)

the chipmunks (alvin and the chipmunks movie franchise)

the chipettes (alvin and the chipmunks movie franchise)

ariel (the little mermaid 2023)

eric (the little mermaid 2023)

musa (winx club)

winx club in general

specialists (winx club)

jasmine (i didn’t do it)

logan (i didn’t do it)

garrett (i didn’t do it)

betty (i didn’t do it)

zuko (atla)

sokka (atla)

katara (atla)

aang (atla)

toph (atla)

suki (atla)

uncle iroh (atla)

~ comfort ships :D

jasmine x aladdin (aladdin 1992)

rapunzel x eugene (tangled 2010)

eleteo - elena x mateo (elena of avalor)

rina - gina x ricky (hsmtmts)

jetney - kourtney x jet (hsmtmts)

madlyn - maddox x ashlyn (hsmtmts)

lucaya - maya x lucas (girl meets world)

alex x mason (wizards of waverly place)

juliet x justin (wizards of waverly place)

jelsa - elsa x jack frost (frozen & rise of the guardians respectively. don’t judge me lmao)

silvermist x terrence (disney fairies. don’t judge me lmao)

harley x aidan (stuck in the middle)

schmece - cece x schmidt (new girl)

tagatha - agatha x tedros (the school for good and evil movie)

tessie - jessie x tony (jessie)

liv x holden (liv and maddie)

maddie x josh (liv and maddie)

mohini x scott (lemonade mouth movie)

olivia x wen (lemonade mouth movie)

jeanette x simon (alvin and the chipmunks movie franchise)

eleanor x theodore (alvin and the chipmunks movie franchise)

brittany x alvin (alvin and the chipmunks movie franchise)

ariel x eric (the little mermaid 2023)

musa x riven (winx club)

stella x brandon (winx club)

layla/aisha x nabu (winx club)

flora x helia (winx club)

bloom x sky (winx club)

tecna x timmy (winx club)

jogan - jasmine x logan (i didn’t do it)

zutara - katara x zuko (atla)

sukka - suki x sokka (atla)

~ other accounts :D

ao3; @/magicwithineleteo

you can ask me for my twitter, discord, spotify, or pinterest or any other platform i have forgotten :)

~ what will you find on this page? :D

i'm so glad you asked :D

me screaming ab my faves (specifically ships bc yes)

some drawings

some video edits of my faves

lots of reblogs (of my faves and probably stuff ab being tired and depressed lmaoooo)

a few rants here and there

memes maybe lol

~ dni list :D

for the love of everything good, please dni if any of these applies to you:

racist

sexist/misogynistic

homophobic

islamophobic

zionist

xenophobic

antivax

trump supporter . hell throw in biden supporter too . i despise them both

ableist

antisemitic

nsfw blogs

livies

anti any of my stans

pro life

pro guns

~ other :D

please check out this post, it was my previously pinned post! it's a link to many resources to help palestine

last updated: april 7, 2024

thank YOU for making it all the way to the end! i love you very much and i'm proud of you <33

#intro post eee #yaaaah

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slowdownatthelotusinn · 3 years

Text

Lotus Inn’s Fic Masterlist!!!

This is the list I will update with all of the smaller masterlists for my fics as I post and complete them. Be on the lookout for your favorites! As always, happy reading!

(Taglists are open!)

-Auri 💜

Written Fics

Ardently ― (Current)

Daniel Seavey x OFC, Jonah Marais x OFC

Dream In Color ― (Discontinued)

Jonah Marais x OFC

Petrichor (Hiatus)

WDW & Shawn Mendes Crossover Fic (ft. OFC)

Social Media

Dream In Color (Social Media posts)

Jonah Marais x OFC

#masterlist #why dont we imagines #why dont we fanfiction #why dont we social media au #daniel seavey imagines #jonah marais imagines #corbyn besson imagines #zach herron imagines #jack avery imagines

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lonelyreputation · 3 years

Text

C’est Toi (coffee shop au) • CHAPTER ELEVEN, wc: 7.6k

previous chapter | let’s chat | C’est Toi Index

Monday - February 11, 2019 - 18:36

Holding hands is nice…Really nice. But nothing will ever compare how nice a first kiss feels.

While the sun was hidden behind an array of gray clouds, and the wind was a bit more breezy than usual, I still found some sense of peace sitting out in the courtyard of Somerset. Students milled about with coffees in their hands either rushing to their next lecture or chatting with friends.

I sat on one of the benches with my journal, appreciating the day, when I heard a familiar––usually friendly––voice cut harshly through the whistling wind.

“You still haven’t told me.”

I closed my journal and looked up at her with a smile, “Afternoon, Ella.”

She rolled her eyes, shoved my legs off the bench, so that I was now sitting normally instead of lounging, as she took the spot next to me and glared, “You got back at ten on Saturday and have yet to tell me about your date.”

Slipping my journal into my bag, I couldn’t hide the smile that slowly made its way onto my face as I replayed everything that happened on Saturday, “It was nice.”

She elbowed by side, “I think I have a right to know everything that happened.”

I let out a laugh, “You have a right?”

Ella nodded her head as if it was obvious, and I only raised my eyebrows, waiting for her explanation, “If it wasn’t for me dragging you into Brightside the first day, you never would’ve stumbled upon it. And if it wasn’t for me coming up with Operation Sketchbook, you wouldn’t have his number. And if you didn’t have his number you wouldn’t have gone out on a date.”

Blankly, I stared at her with my mouth open before I let out a laugh, “You can’t take any credit for the first day we went in. It was raining.”

She rolled her eyes before standing up and looking down at me, “I need to know something! I know you’ve been texting him since your date,” she wiggled her eyebrows, “Did you kiss him?”

Embarrassed with what I knew her reaction would be, I looked down at the pavement. I curled my hands in fists around the ends of my sweatshirt to fight off the cold wind, even though I felt as if I was running a fever with how embarrassed I felt.

“Mick!”

Ignoring her, I stood up and grabbed my bag, turning away from her so as to not feel any more embarrassed. I was a few feet away before I heard her call out my name again, but this time, it was soft and apologetic.

She offered me a small smile and walked towards me, “Where are you going?”

“Off to finish a paper back in my room.”

Ella let out a small laugh, thinking I was joking, but once she saw my serious face, she scrunched her eyebrows together, “Why not Brightside?”

I shrugged, “I just saw Shawn on Saturday. I don’t want to seem annoying––”

“You literally went into Brightside every single day before your date,” Ella smirked, “I’m sure he wants to see you just as much as you want to see him.”

I looked down at my shoes and kicked a small pebble. I had an inkling that he might want to see me, but I was still nervous. Saturday was such a good day and I didn’t know if it was too soon to see him.

Was there a rule having to wait a certain number of days before seeing the person you went out with? Even though we’d been texting since he walked me back to my dorm on Saturday, would it be too desperate to stop in and see him?

With a deep breath, I tried pushing all the nerves I felt in my chest down, and looked up at Ella, “Want to go to Brightside with me?”

Ella vigorously nodded her head with a smile as she took a step forward, looping her arm around mine. She started walking toward the direction of Brightside, “Don’t think I noticed how you still haven’t told me about your date.”

I ducked my head and felt my cheeks heat up as Ella squeezed her hand around my bicep.

I failed miserably at concealing my smile, “He took me to Columbia Road Flower Market.”

Ella’s hand around my bicep fell limp as her eyes widened, “He took you to see flowers?!”

I nodded with a hum, as I made sure she kept her walking pace up, “Then we went to Brick Lane and went to a coffee shop in Shoreditch.”

With a sight and a small squeal, I slightly turned my head to look at Ella, who smiled, “Bit of a busy day in East London,” her smile slowly transformed into a smirk, “But you didn’t come back until ten.”

I hummed in acknowledgement of her observation and just kept walking down the street.

“I’m still waiting,” Ella said in a singsong voice.

Figuring I wouldn’t get away from her pestering, I answered her before she badgered me with questions while we were in front of Shawn, “His friends had a little party so we went there.”

“Meeting the friends already?”

Her voice was smug and I rolled my eyes, “Nothing like that.”

“Okay, but did you kiss?”

I pretended I didn’t hear her question again as a gust of wind blew both of our hair back.

Instead of answering her, I let my mind be consumed with thoughts and memories of how the night went after Shawn sang I Want To Hold Your Hand by the Beatles. There was the obvious applause, people trying to go up and talk to him, but he politely declined their advances, as he weaved his way toward the back wall where Niall and I stood.

Niall shoved Shawn’s shoulder––letting out a low and drawn out smooth––before he left to refill his drink in the kitchen. We stood on the back wall for a little bit longer, talking about nothing in particular, with his arms seemingly glued to his sides and my arms crossed in front of my chest.

It seemed as if he gained the courage out of nowhere, because I was in the middle of saying something when he reached out one of his hands. His movements were fast, but it felt as if I experienced the whole ordeal in slow motion. He reached his hand forward, picked up one of my hands––successfully uncrossing my arms from my chest––and then threaded our fingers together.

I was left a bit stunned, my sentence long forgotten in the back of my head. But it was alright because Shawn picked up the conversation as if nothing had changed.

And for the rest of our time at his friends house he held my hand.

He held my hand as he waved a goodbye to his friends, he held my hand as he walked me to the tube station––and held it even tighter when I tried to pull away when I told him I was fine taking the night tube alone. For the whole tube ride he held my hand, and it was then I was struck with the idea of him maybe wanting to kiss me. My hand wasn’t clammy all night, but the moment we walked out of Waterloo Station, I knew it was beginning to feel warm.

And when we were at the lamp post he was leaning on when I walked out to greet him…It was silent. It was silent and I saw him leaning in.

I wanted to kiss him just as much as he probably felt, but my mind couldn’t ignore the salt and vinegar crisps I had earlier in the night. Sure, he stole some too, but it was the only thing on my mind as I saw him slowly lean in.

And in a moment of panic, my eyes widened and I held my hand up…Offering him a high-five instead.

He stopped, scrunched his eyebrows together as he let out a small laugh that covered up his disappointed sigh.

He high-fived me back.

“We held hands,” I said dreamily, purposefully avoiding her question again.

“Cute,” Ella said with a tight smile as the door to Brightside came into view, “But did you kiss him?”

I used the closeness of the coffee shop to my advantage, because while Ella was curious and persistent, I knew she wouldn’t embarrass me with that question in the coffee shop.

So, I ducked my head in embarrassment and unlooped my arm from hers, “No.”

“Mick––”

I shushed her and pulled open the door, quickly walking through to stop her interrogation.

“There she is,” I looked up to see Niall beaming behind the counter, “Was wondering when you’d show up.”

Ella smirked at me as we walked up to the counter, “Told ya.”

I rolled my eyes at her and stopped right in front of the register, “Hi, Niall.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled wickedly, “Still tired from the party?”

“I––”

“He was there?!” Ella’s jaw hung wide open as I stared at her with wide eyes. She then faced Niall, who barked out a laugh, and pointed a finger at him, “You were there?!”

Niall nodded proudly, “Seeing those two together warmed my heart,” he uncrossed his arms and placed both hands over his heart, “He even serenaded her––”

Ella’s eyes doubled in size as she whipped around to face me again, “He sang to you?!”

I quickly glared at Niall, who looked like he was enjoying knowing more than my best friend, before I let out a sigh, “Ella––”

She dramatically threw her hands above her head, “I can’t believe you left that part out––”

“McLane.”

All talking stopped as all of our heads slowly turned to the left where Shawn was standing, holding stacks of paper cups. His eyes darted back and forth between all of us in confusion, but then he let his eyes linger on me for a second, and I felt my shoulders droop and couldn’t help but smile.

His hair was a bit disheveled, black shirt wrinkled, and one of his shoelaces was only loosely tied together. Even though he was partially hidden behind paper cups, I still melted at the sight of him.

“Shawn,” I let out a breath to try and control the nerves that bounced around in my stomach, “Hey.”

Niall smirked, “I’ll let Romeo make your coffee.”

And right after Niall excused himself, so did Ella, “I’ll get us a table.”

Both of our friends scurried away and it left us alone for the first time since Saturday.

What was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to do? He was at work after all, so we couldn’t do much, but was there something I was supposed to do? He still held stacks of cups in his arms, so I wasn’t able to hold his hand.

I wish Ella hadn’t ran off so fast.

I rocked back and forth and let out a small breath, “So…The morning shift.”

Shawn sighed and closed his eyes momentarily before opening them back up. He was still in front of the counter, and didn’t look like he wanted to move behind the barrier anytime soon, “Not ideal. But I’ll get off when Lola comes in at two.”

As if on instinct whenever I heard her name, I held my breath and felt my jaw tighten just a bit. I hadn’t completely forgotten about her since her rude remarks about me at the party, but I tried my best to push her away.

“Have some studying to do?” Shawn eyed my bag. I was about to answer, but both of our attentions were pulled away when we heard the distinct chime of the bell. I saw Shawn tense up in frustration, eyes narrowing at the customers who walked through the door, as he let out a huff.

But Niall gave Shawn a look––I got this––he said as he walked up to the register and took care of the orders. Shawn let out a sigh of relief and turned to face me, and his frustrated eyes were now full of light.

“I have another reading,” I answered his question with a roll of my eyes, “But that shouldn’t take too long.”

Shawn nodded his head, “Longer than––” he looked at the clock that was behind the counter, whispering numbers to himself, “Four hours?”

I shrugged my shoulders, “I would say no longer than two––maybe three hours.”

Shawn’s shoulders fell a little, and while he smiled, the corners of his eyes didn’t crinkle like they normally did, “Oh, well I was––I get off in like four hours if you wanted to do something.”

Oh.

My eyes lit up in understanding and I nodded my head, the butterflies I felt in my stomach whenever I was around Shawn felt as if they were making a home, “I can wait.”

Shawn looked relieved as he smiled, with the corners of his eyes crinkling, “Cool––That’s nice.” He shifted around the stacks of cups, so he was securely cradling them in one arm, as he held his other hand up.

I felt the heat rush to my cheeks as I raised my hand up to meet his in a high-five. But unlike the first time we high-fived outside of my residence hall, he curled his fingers between mine, as our intertwined hands fell between us.

Shawn held a proud smile on his face as he slowly swung our hands in between us, “I’ll bring a latte over to you.”

I shook my head, a smile present on my face, “I can come to the counter.”

He squeezed my hand and I felt the butterflies swarm around every part of my body, “You’re wasting precious time. I expect that reading to be done before our date.”

Date.

I tried my best to keep eye contact with him, but in the best way possible, I felt nervous about our second date, so I looked down at the hardwood floor, “It’ll be done.”

Once again, he squeezed my hand, and I picked my head to look up at him. He had a soft smile on his face as he looked at me, and I knew I reciprocated the dreamlike stare. I didn’t want to stop holding his hand––I wanted to hold his hand for the rest of eternity––but he did have a job and I had studying to do.

In response to his hand squeeze, I returned the squeeze before regretfully dropping our hands. His eyes immediately snapped down to where our hands previously dangled between us, before he lifted his head and pouted.

“Sadly, we both have responsibilities.”

Shawn sighed and slowly nodded his head, his eyes glancing back down at my hand every few seconds, before he locked eyes with me, “I’ll be right over with your drink.”

It looked like he was restraining himself from stepping toward me, but I made sure to squash any ideas in his head by taking a step back, “I’ll be over with Ella.”

He nodded his head, smiling one last time, before he walked behind the counter.

It didn’t take too long to find Ella at a table that had plenty of room for two. I set my bag on the chair, pulling out my notebook and textbook, setting them on the table, before I placed my bag on the ground.

And right as I slid into the seat across from Ella, my back facing the front counter, she looked up from scrolling on her phone, “Did you two really high five?”

I shrugged and flipped open the textbook to a reading I knew I would dread.

Ella took hold of the ends of the book I was reading, and pulled it towards her, which effectively gave all of my attention to her. I glared as she started talking, “That would’ve been such a cute time for him to sneak a quick kiss in before he went back to work and––Mick…”

She said my name slowly as I avoided her gaze. I could feel it inside of me that Ella knew. Ella was the master at piecing together small details and I knew that she knew.

“Did you high five him on Saturday?”

I yanked my book back from her and tried to do my best to concentrate on the words. But I knew that was a lost cause, especially when Ella continued to talk, “Are you serious––”

“Hey…” I lifted my head up from the textbook as I saw Shawn walk up to the table with a yellow cup. He placed it down in front of me and I smiled up at him, “Let me know if you guys need anything.” He placed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze, “Just call out for me or shoot me a text.”

And with one last shoulder squeeze, I noticed that he had the same look in his eyes that he had on Saturday night. And it was the same look in his eyes he had just a few moments ago after we stopped holding hands.

Ella smiled wickedly at me, “He so wanted to kiss you before he left.”

“Shut up,” I dismissed her comment and lifted my head up to peak inside the cup. I’m not sure what kind of latte art he was trying to create, but I knew he had something in mind, and it still made me smile.

Ella rolled her eyes at my comment and opened her textbook, “At least Niall remembered my name when I asked for a coffee,” I looked up at her and let out a small laugh, “He’s a bit loud, but at least he has a brain.”

I raised an eyebrow at her, “You’re complaining about someone being loud?”

In response to my quip, Ella balled up a napkin and threw it at my forehead. I scrunched up my nose and she flipped me off. With a shake of my head at her childish behavior, I went to studying.

While Brightside was my absolute favorite space to study, it was increasingly becoming harder and harder to concentrate. It was always hard to concentrate here, but ever since Shawn asked me out and we went on our date…It felt absolutely impossible.

I was more tuned into hearing his laugh than I was to whatever Ella said. I found myself sneaking glances at him more than I was looking at the words on the page I was meant to read. And my mind was preoccupied with how soft his hand was curled around mine. I was already enamored with every little movement of his before he asked me out, and all of my feelings intensified around him now.

Not that I was complaining.

“Mick,” Ella’s soft voice caused me to blink back into reality. She smirked, no doubt knowing that she caught me daydreaming about the barista behind the counter, “Wanna head back?”

I shook my head with a smile, “Shawn and I actually have plans for when he gets off.”

Ella’s smirk widened as she started packing up her bag. I cringed at the loud sound of her chair scratching against the hardwood floor. As if I could feel his stare at me, I slowly turned my head to peer over my shoulder and saw Shawn’s eyes glued on our table. His eyebrows were furrowed, almost as if he was worried I would leave––even though we had plans in a few hours.

His worried eyes found mine and offered him a small smile and a wave. I saw the blush on his cheeks before he waved back and turned around to clean the espresso machine.

“You got him wrapped around your finger,” Ella laughed as she slung her tote bag over her shoulder, “I’ll see ya later.”

And before she left the table, she blew me a kiss and winked.

If I wasn’t nervous about hanging out with Shawn after he got done with work, I was sure as hell nervous now. I liked Shawn a lot––more than I’ve liked anyone in a long time––so of course I wanted to kiss him. But he just made me so…I don’t think I have the words to say what he makes me feel like.

I do know that he makes me feel all light and fluttery, as if I’m floating through a dream. And I know that while I still rambled uncontrollably around him, his presence was calming. His smile used to be my favorite thing about him that calmed me down, but since I now knew what it was like to hold his hand…

The way he gently rubbed his thumb along the top of my hand made me feel more calm than anything else in the world.

There was still an hour left until Shawn got off from work, but I was all done with the work I brought. While I could’ve gotten ahead on other school work, I knew it would be useless. So I took out my sketchbook––still grateful it was at Brightside and not somewhere in the city––and started to draw.

I tapped my pencil a few times, not really feeling inspired by anything, as I turned my head to look around the coffee shop. I already had countless doodles of patrons at their table, stacks of cups, and a few versions of the espresso machine.

With a sigh, I was about to close my sketchbook and call my brother out of boredom, until I heard his laugh.

I don’t know what he was laughing at, but it made my ears perk up and caused a small smile to spread across my face. Along with a smile, and all the other times I heard his laugh, a small swarm of butterflies erupted in my stomach. I felt as if I was in the middle of a warm spring day, instead of in the middle of a dreary day in the beginning of February.

The butterflies in my stomach reminded me of a particular butterfly Shawn had tattooed on his arm. From the countless times I stared at his arms, I had every detail of his tattoo etched into my mind. And before I knew it, my hand started drawing the outline for the butterfly.

I was in the middle of drawing one of the flowers when I heard the chime of the bell.

The moment I looked up, I regretted it and wished I stayed concentrated on the butterfly I was drawing. Lola pranced in, a bright smile on her face as her eyes only looked at Shawn. She obviously didn’t see I was sitting at a table because her smile hadn’t faltered one bit.

I turned in my seat––pencil still gripped between my fingers with the tip on the page––so I could blatantly watch her.

“Hi, Shawn,” She said happily, completely ignoring Niall who scrunched his nose up.

It was when Shawn smiled back at her––with the same gleam of fondness in his eyes that she had when staring at him––when I felt the butterflies in my stomach slowly disappear. Even though Niall said that they had no history between them…I didn’t believe him.

I felt my jaw clench as tight as I gripped my pencil.

“Lola,” Shawn let out a sigh of relief as he went over to the register, punching in some numbers, “I’m so happy to see you.”

The tip of my pencil broke.

It was as if Niall could feel the jealousy radiating off me that he gave me a reassuring smile and secretly shook his head. He was telling me not to worry. But how could I not worry when Shawn was looking at Lola the way I wanted him to look at me.

“You know I’m always happy to see you,” Lola smiled wide at Shawn as she walked behind the counter, trying to stand as close to him as possible.

But once she stepped behind the counter, Shawn quickly rounded to the opposite side, leaving Lola standing with her mouth hanging wide open in shock. Niall let out a laugh and Lola glared at him.

As if Lola wasn’t even on his mind anymore, I saw Shawn walk toward me with a smile on his face. And even though I was the one waiting for him to be done, I still felt surprised that he walked up to the table I was sitting at.

He stopped in front of me and shoved his hands into his front pockets, “Let me just grab my stuff and we can go.”

Still feeling a bit dazed, I just nodded my head as I watched him turn on his heel and walk down the stairs. Before I started packing up my stuff, I quickly glanced behind the counter. And just like I expected, Lola was sending me a death glare, eyes more narrow than I’d ever seen them before. But looking a bit deeper, I saw a hint of despair as she looked away from me and watched Shawn walk away from her.

I quickly shifted my eyes to look at Niall who looked like he was trying to hold in his laughter.

I slipped all of my books in my tote bag just as Shawn came up the stairs––taking two at a time. He didn’t spare a glance at his co-workers behind the counter as he headed straight to my table. Instead of just a black shirt, he had on a pink sweatshirt under a black jacket, prepared for the London air.

“Ready?” He asked.

Nodding, I stood up and slipped on my own jacket. And right when I had my jacket on properly, Shawn instantly grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the table. I let out a small laugh, making sure to grab my bag, as he practically dragged me toward the door.

“See you guys tomorrow!” Shawn said in a cheerful voice, waving at Niall and Lola.

Lola’s arms were crossed over her chest. And every ounce of sadness in her eyes disappeared as her eyes were locked on Shawn’s hand connected with mine. Once she lifted her eyes to look at me, I knew I would much rather be stranded out in a snowstorm than have her icy glare on me for a second longer.

And with a smile that I couldn’t contain, Shawn pushed the door open, and we were out on the sidewalk.

Shawn looked down at me, “What’re you hungry for?”

I shrugged, because while I should probably have something solid in my stomach other than coffee, I wasn’t all that hungry, “Whatever you want is fine.”

Shawn hummed and furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. We stayed in front of Brightside for a few seconds until a slight gust of wind hit our faces and I shuffled into Shawn’s side.

“C’mon,” he squeezed my hand and started walking up the street, “I know a place.”

The walk wasn’t long, we only had to brave the cold wind for about three minutes before I saw a black building with large yellow writing; EDITOR’S TAP.

Shawn let our hands drop as he held the door open for me, and while I was sad to lose physical contact with him, the warmth of the restaurant was a little more inviting.

Once I was fully in, Shawn stepped next to me, and the tips of fingers touched the inside of my palm. Slowly, he slid his palm against mine, spreading out my hand as he slid his fingers between mine.

I lied; Shawn’s hand was most definitely warmer than the inside of this restaurant.

He smiled at me before tugging on my hand and walking further in, “Sometimes it’s best to reserve a table here, but it’s never busy on a Monday afternoon.”

And he was right, it wasn’t busy at all. While there were some people scattered around the place, enjoying a drink, it was practically empty. Shawn led us to a high rise table for two and plucked the menus out of the holder.

He handed one to me, and I scanned it for a few seconds, before looking up at him, “What do you usually get?”

Shawn looked up from his menu, “Usually just a pizza and a drink.”

I placed the menu back in its holder as it rested on the white tile wall, “Then a pizza and a drink it is.”

He let out a small laugh, “But you’re lactose intolerant.”

I rolled my eyes and brought my bag up to my lap, digging around for the little white square package that was a lifesaver on more than one occasion. When my eyes found a stray one at the bottom of my bag, I smiled, and lifted it up to show Shawn, “With this I can eat any dairy.”

Shawn smiled as he put his menu aside, “Aren’t you lucky.” He pushed his chair back and stepped down, “Is it okay if we split a pizza? I don’t think I can eat a whole one right now.”

I nodded my head, “Works for me.”

He nodded, about to walk off, but stopped in front of me, “What do you want to drink?”

I shrugged, “Whatever you get.”

Again, he nodded and he continued to stand in front of me. His eyes were focused on mine, but his eyebrows were furrowed deep in concentration, as if he was having an internal debate in his head. I tilted my head, wondering if he was having an internal debate with himself on what drink to order, but my eyes widened when I saw the familiar look in his eyes.

It was the same look he had on Saturday night when he dropped me off at my residence hall.

The same look he gave me a few hours ago when we held hands in Brightside.

And it was exactly how he was looking at me now.

I felt my throat tighten up, hands start to sweat, and I knew my eyes grew just a teeny bit larger in size. He was just staring at me. And I knew exactly what he was thinking about doing.

So naturally, I held my hand up to high five him.

That seemed to bring Shawn out of whatever he was thinking about. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He brought a hand up to return the high five, “Be right back.”

When he finally left, I let out the breath I’d been holding in.

While it felt nice to know that Shawn wanted to kiss me…I don’t think any person would want to have their first kiss––with someone that they really really liked––when the person was about to order beers for them.

It didn’t seem…romantic.

In no time, Shawn walked back to the table––a pint glass in each hand––as he set one down in front of me.

The glass was a bit cold when I pulled it toward me, as I looked at the golden amber color that was below the white foam that reached the brim of the glass. The color of the beer was similar to the golden flecks in his brown eyes. And with thinking about his eyes, I looked up and saw that he was already looking at me.

“It’s a Camden Hells lager,” Shawn answered the question that I was about to ask, “It’s on the lighter side so I thought you’d like it.”

I smiled in appreciation and lifted it up to take a sip, “How much was everything?”

Shawn rolled his eyes as he placed his pint glass on the table, “Do you really think I’m going to let you pay?”

“It’s only fair if we split half,” I leaned my forearms on the table, leaning in toward the middle of the table, “Please?”

Shawn laughed as he copied my movements, forearms on the table and leaning in close to the middle, “I have a job. I’m more than happy to pay for you.”

With a roll of my eyes, I leaned back on the chair, “If only my visa let me work.”

It was meant to be a joke, something lighthearted about the restrictions that were placed on me with my student visa. And even though Shawn gave me a weak smile––trying to find the humor in the joke––I could sense that it didn’t make him too happy that I reminded him of my expiration date in the United Kingdom.

We both took a sip of our beers and ignored my poor attempt of a joke.

After a prolonged sip, I placed the glass on the table, and rested my elbows on the table. With my chin resting on the inside of one of my palms, I looked at him like he was the most interesting person on the planet, “I still can’t believe you told me that you only sang in the shower.”

At the change of subject, Shawn bowed his head as his cheeks turned red, “I wasn’t lying.”

“You sang in front of all those people,” I raised my eyebrows at him, “And it seemed like you sang in front of a crowd before.”

Shawn shook his head, taking another sip of his beer to avoid the question. But I patiently waited until he set the glass on the table with a sigh.

“Just a few times at parties,” Shawn shrugged, “Nothing special.”

I scoffed, “Nothing–––” My words were cut off when someone quickly came up to our table and placed a pepperoni pizza in between us.

We both said thank you as two individual plates were set in front of us and Shawn started cutting into the pizza.

“Shawn, you’re really good,” I reassured him as I held up my plate for him to put a slice of pizza on, “You could really be––”

As if he knew what I was going to say, he shook his head and took a bite of his pizza, “I’m more into producing. Maybe some songwriting, but I don’t want to perform or release my own stuff.”

Even though I thought he had all the potential to be a performer, if his mind was set on producing, I knew there wasn’t anything I could say to change his mind. I lifted my own slice of pizza, and just when I was about to take a bite, Shawn interrupted me.

“Lactose pill,” he chided me, “You made a whole ordeal of digging around your bag for one.”

Embarrassed that I almost forgot about the pill that would save my intestines, I picked it up from the table, and tore the wrapper. Shawn looked at me with a proud smile on his face as I popped the chalky pill into my mouth and washed it down with beer.

“Happy?”

Shawn nodded his head, speaking with his mouth full, “You’ll thank me later.”

I rolled my eyes as I took a bite of pizza.

We spent more time talking about the kind of music Shawn liked to produce, I complained about some of my lectures, and we both laughed when Shawn missed his mouth as he took a sip of beer––that spilled down the front of his sweatshirt.

The pizza was finished before the beer; and while I always had a hand around the pint glass, my free hand slowly inched toward the center of the table. I thought my movements were subtle, but I did see his eyes flicker down whenever my fingers creeped forward.

If he was as in tune with my movements as I was with his, then he definitely knew what my intentions were.

I saw him nonchalantly itch the bridge of his nose and drop his hand on the table. And, just like I had done moments before, he carried on our conversation without missing a beat. And while he kept steady eye contact with me, I saw the corner of his mouth slowly upturn every time his hand moved closer to mine.

And even as the tips of his fingers brushed mine, he still continued talking as if nothing important was happening.

He seemed to be acting so cool, calm, and collected when I felt the exact opposite.

The moment he slid his fingers between mine, I felt hot. And when our hands were connected, I briefly looked down at them, and my stomach flipped with nerves. But when I looked up and into Shawn’s eyes, who had the softest smile on his face––with the corners of his eyes crinkled––he gave me a squeeze and I felt myself come undone.

Even after our beers were finished, we continued to talk with our hands intertwined across the table.

I didn’t want to leave, and I know Shawn didn’t either, but the restaurant was starting to fill up and we knew we had extended our stay. With a sigh, I regretfully pulled my hand away from Shawn’s––who looked just as sad as me––and slid off the chair.

Once I had my jacket properly on and my tote bag over my shoulder, Shawn took two steps to where I was, and reconnected our hands.

We walked out of the restaurant and the air didn’t seem as cold as before.

“What’s on your schedule for the rest of the day?” Shawn bumped my shoulder.

I leaned into his side to bump his shoulder back, but the warmth that radiated from his side kept me pressed up against him, “I’ve been putting off laundry.”

Shawn let out a laugh, “You and me both.”

“I also have to study, but I don’t want to,” I smiled when I felt his thumb rub up and down my index finger, “What about you?”

“Well, I don’t have to study,” Shawn smirked as we stopped at a corner of a street, waiting for the go ahead to cross, “But I do need to do laundry. I’m out of clean black shirts.”

I scrunched my nose up in disgust, “Are you wearing a dirty shirt?”

Shawn shrugged, “I’ve only worn it twice.” Even though his shirt was under his sweatshirt and jacket, I still leaned away from him. “Oh, come on,” Shawn tugged on my hand to pull me back into his side as we crossed the street, “It’ll get washed today.”

I rolled my eyes as we came up to the familiar Temple Underground Station and I felt my heart sink that we’d have to part ways. I was ready to dig around in my bag for my Oyster card, but Shawn seemed to have other plans.

I felt a tug of my hand, and I was only able to make out a devilish smirk on his face before he started to run. And when he ran, my hand connected to his was pulled along. We ran past the Underground station and across the road behind the station.

Once we made it to the other side, and stood by a small wall that kept people from falling into the Thames River, we tried to catch our breath.

“There was a red double decker bus coming at us full speed,” I brought my free hand up to my chest to even out my breathing, but Shawn’s laughter made it hard.

He squeezed my hand, “We made it.”

“Barely.”

As both of our laughing simmered down, we continued to stand in front of each other, hands still connected. I had no idea what his intentions were with running across the street when we were literally at our destination, but I didn’t have to think much longer when I saw it.

It was the way his shoulders looked slightly more relaxed. The subtle tilt of his head with an easy closed lip smile on his face. It was how his eyes looked as if they were captivated by the most interesting thing in the world.

It was the same look he had on Saturday night when he dropped me off at my residence hall.

The same look he gave me hours ago when we held hands in Brightside.

The same look he gave me right before he was off to order us food.

And it was exactly how he was looking at me now.

I gulped, “Do you work tomorrow?”

Shawn let out a relaxed breath and I didn’t miss how he slowly took a step closer to me, “Yeah. Afternoon.” He spoke shortly.

I nodded, and looked to my right to see a boat going down the Thames. When I turned my head to look back at him, it was the same moment he took another step forward.

“I’ll stop by––”

“You have class.”

I nodded my head, becoming all too aware of how close we were actually standing together, “I can always be a little late.”

And even though he rolled his eyes at my statement, his eyes still shined bright, “We both know you hate being late.”

“I can stop in after class,” I rushed out. And while I wanted to avoid his intense stare, there was still a calmness held in his eyes that I couldn't tear myself away from, “Or maybe Wednesday? Do you work this Wednesday? I’m done in the afternoon––”

“McLane.”

It was like he knew I was going to hold my other hand up to high five him, because with his free hand, he tangled our fingers together.

“I can even just come to hang out,” I started rambling, something I hadn’t done in quite a while in front of him, “I can get some work done––Because now that I––I think I have a lot of work to catch up on? I’ve been putting off lots of work–––

I effectively cut myself short of my own rambling when he let go of one of my hands, and brought one of his hands up to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. And instead of letting his hand either fall down to his side, or go back to holding mine, his hand softly touched my cheek.

I sucked in a breath.

While his thumb stayed on my cheek, his other fingers curled around behind my neck. I lifted my head up slightly to look into his eyes. The same look was still there as he started to rub soft circles against my cheek.

“I––”

“McLane,” he whispered my name with a bit more significance. And even though I could sense the seriousness behind his tone, he still sounded happy…like all the times he called out my name when I walked into Brightside day after day.

I felt the butterflies slowly build up in my lower stomach as he leaned his forehead against mine; both of our eyes still open and staring into each other's eyes. I knew Shawn’s eyes looked soft. But my eyes? I was sure they were wide and wild with anticipation. Because while there was nothing else I wanted to do more than kiss him…My thoughts always seemed to get the better of me.

Was this really happening? I knew that Shawn liked me…And I knew he wanted to kiss me…But thinking that it was possibly––most likely–– going to happen now? Was he about to kiss me after we barely escaped being hit by an iconic red double decker bus?

There was no way I could interrupt this with a high five.

“I really want to kiss you right now,” He breathed out as he brushed his nose against mine.

My eyes went wide at his confession, “I––Yeah. Okay.”

And before my mind could scold itself on why that was my response instead of––Yeah, Shawn, I really want to kiss you too––he closed his eyes and pressed his lips against mine.

His lips were soft and gentle as he hesitantly brushed his lips over mine again. I could feel the nervousness behind the barely there kiss. But after noticing that I wasn’t recoiling away from him, he bent his head and gave me a real kiss.

The moment he pressed his lips against mine, he dropped our connected hands and wrapped an arm around my waist. I was highly aware of the way his fingers curled around behind my neck, very aware of how close I was pressed up against him, and very much aware of how slow his kisses were––even though I could tell he was trying to restrain himself.

With my eyes closed, I heard the distant sounds of traffic, smelled espresso beans off of Shawn’s clothes, finally tasted his lips against mine, and even the softness of his sweatshirt I felt under my hands couldn’t conceal the rapid pace of his heartbeat.

While the kiss never picked up speed, he still slowed down his movements to the point where his lips met mine in an agonizingly slow pace. It took everything in me not to kiss him back with every ounce of passion I felt for him.

Like every time I was around him, I couldn’t help but smile. I tried to push my smiling to the back of my mind, but there was something so…so alluring about his presence that made me want to smile. And with my eyes still closed, as I felt Shawn try to continue to kiss me with my smile, I felt a shiver race down my spine.

Every poor latte art design, every time I suffered getting stuck in the rain, everytime Niall teased one––or both––of us…It was all worth it because it led to this moment. A moment where I felt nothing but pure bliss as the wind picked up.

A/N: Finally…After one too many high-fives…A first kiss! And it won’t be the last of kisses between them 😊 And we saw a bit of jealousy in Mick…Wouldn’t it be a shame if that jealousy kept coming back?? Hmmm ✨✨✨

Anyway, it’s been a crazy past few weeks, but I’ve done lots & lots of C’est Toi planning and finally finished chapter 13 in my docs 🥳 So weekly updates will continue ! Thank you all so so much for your kind words, they really mean the world to me and give me so much motivation to continue writing!!

I love you all more than I can put into words! I’ll forever cherish each and every single one fo you!! Make it a good week, I’ll be sending good vibes your way 🥰✨💗💥

C’est Toi Taglist: @mendesficsxbombay, @5-seconds-of-mendes, @pupsandducks, @musicalkeys, @im-salt-but-not-salty, @shawnmendez, @crossedties @lenamds @samaratheweirdo @shawnsreputation @ineedmorestyles @kerwritesthings

(send me a message if you want to be removed / added!!)

#Shawn Mendes #Shawn Mendes Fic #Shawn Mendes Fluff #Shawn Mendes Imagine #Shawn Mendes Fanfic #Shawn Mendes AU #Shawn Mendes Writing #Wonder #Shawn Mendes Coffee Shop AU #Shawn Mendes Fanfiction #Shawn Mendes x OC #Shawn Mendes x OFC #Shawn #Mendes #Shawn Mendes Story #Shawn Mendes Stories #tags work like half the time so I'm just gonna pause now sldf #enjoy!! let me know your thoughts!!!

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charliesworkshop · 4 years

Text

Señorita - A Bucky Barnes smut

Song inspiration: Señorita - Shawn Mendes, Camila Cabello

Pairing: Bucky x OFC (there's no name but I don't feel comfortable enough with my writing to do proper reader inserts)

Warnings: basically smut without plot, swearing, unprotected sex

AN: How do you add a "read more" on your phone? Asking for... me. I'm dumb. My posts are usually short, and not NSFW. HELP~ I posted this on my laptop with the "keep reading" thingy and it worked until I edited the post on my phone. It's just like Tumblr doesn't want me to write here.

Also, yes, I know on the gif there is SNOW and the ff states it's HOT, but that's the best I could do.

Saying goodbye to coworkers she walked through the hot kitchen of the diner she worked in, and out of the back entrance, only for employees and delivered. She gladly welcomed fresh night air, cool breeze making her more aware of sweat on her skin. Wiping her forehead with the back of hand she looked around the dark back alley, as always, hoping he'll be waiting for her.

And tonight she wasn't disappointed.

"Hola señorita," he greeted her, smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against, walking towards her.

"Hi," she smiled back at him, meeting him quickly half way, exhaustion of the hard day leaving her body as she inspected his face in search of new bruises and cuts. At the first glance he looked fine, and she felt her heart getting lighter, her smile got more relaxed.

It's been four days since she's last seen him, and with every passing night she was getting more worried, but now it was all irrelevant. He was here, safe, without any wounds, any signs his last 'mission' went sideways.

"I was worried, James." She cupped his face with both hands, making him look directly at her. She called him by his name only when she was very serious, or angry, or when she wanted him really badly. This time it was a mixture of all of the above. "You've been gone for four days, no text, not a single call..."

Yes, she was happy to see him, however, she didn't like that he let her worry for so long. She'd understand if he got in trouble and couldn't keep her posted, but apparently he just... forgot? Or maybe did it on purpose? How the fuck would she know...

A smug smile creeped upon his features when she huffed with annoyance. "What is so funny?"

"Did you miss me, señorita?" he asked teasingly, his arms wrapping around her, "Because I really fucking missed you."

"Why do you insist on calling me señorita?" she stammered, pressing her palms flat to his chest, hard muscles working beneath her fingers as his hands roamed her body, gliding down her sides, brushing over hips, grabbing her ass, pulling her closer to his hot body.

Yes, she was a bit angry he didn't call even once, but she couldn't be mad for long when it was so obvious she missed him as hell, her body quickly responding to his touch, her heart beating faster, face getting hotter.

"It fits you," his raspy voice warmed her ear, teeth grazing over her earlobe sent a shiver down her spine, making her shudder in his arms, soft moan escaping her parted lips.

"We shouldn't..." she whispered, breath pitching in her throat when he pressed her back against the wall, lifting her body from the ground, his hands securely gripping her thighs. "Someone can see us..."

"Tell me you don't want this and I'll stop," he crooned, leaving her really little to no choice when his lips trailed her jaw, peppering her skin with wet kisses, biting gently on her chin, catching her lips with his, muffling a whimper when he rolled his hips onto hers.

"Make it quick," she breathed out, her hands running up his chest, on the back of his neck to tug on his hair.

She didn't have to repeat herself, he groaned deeply, corners of his mouth lifting in a satisfied smile. He knew which of her buttons to push to get exactly what he wanted from her, and right now it was to completely immerse himself in her, in her intoxicating warmth and scent.

"Fuck, doll... I barely touched you and you're already dripping," he teased, pushing her panties aside, fingers brushing over her hot folds already covered in slick, wet enough for him to just slip his cock inside. She moaned impatiently, her hips bucking up in search for some friction. She could feel how hard he was, his cock straining against the fabric of his tac pants.

"Oh just fuck me already," she urged him, her heaving chest pressed against his, breath hot and shallow, warming his neck as she pressed her lips to his skin, sucking an angry red mark right above his collarbone.

"As you wish." Holding her with the metal hand, he slipped the other one between their bodies to free his cock, pushing the waistband of his pants just enough so they wouldn't restrict his moves. Gripping his arm with one hand, she pulled her dress up, wrapped her legs around his waist, only glancing at the end of the dark alleyway to make sure no one's watching. But even if there was someone watching, she didn't care as soon as he aligned his length with her entrance, spreading her folds, coating himself with her arousal. She moaned louder, pressing her lips to his neck, her hips rolling unvolounterly into his when he pushed past her entrance, rushing him to fill her entirely. To which he gladly obliged, bottoming out in one swift movement, low growl escaping his throat at the hot feeling of her tight cunt.

"Keep squeezin' me like that and it's really gonna be very quick," he grunted, free hand now resting at the back of her neck, fingers entwined in the loose hair there, his lips ghosting over hers. "Give me a sec... I need..." What he needed, wanted, was to fuck her brains out, make her scream his name, but if he was to last longer than a minute he needed to take it slow, at least at the beginning. And her rapid heartbeat against his chest, and the musky heavy scent of her arousal mixed with the taste of her lips, skin, sweet breath, wasn't helping. He wasn't moving, his cock buried deep in her welcoming warmth, but she was getting impatient.

"Less talking, more fucking, sarge," she cooed knowing well how this nickname worked him up, catching his lips with hers in a sloppy kiss, one hand slipping underneath his skintight shirt, fingers digging into his side, pulling him closer.

"Be careful, doll," he warned her, pressing his forehead against hers, inhaling sharply when she pushed her hips harder onto his, "I don't want to hurt you."

"Maybe I want you to hurt me," she mused in raspy voice, dragging her nails across his ribs, earning a quiet hiss from him, a slight push deeper into her itching pussy. Oh, she really wanted him to move, to bruise her skin, to mark her with his desire. And she knew he wanted the same thing, but as always he was hesitant, afraid of hurting her too much.

"Stop... sayin' things like this," his deep growl sent a shiver down her spine, spreading warmth across her entire body, her nails digging deeper into his sweaty skin.

He really tried to control himself, his thrusts slow, almost lazy, but every sound she made was driving him more and more crazy, to the point when he eventually pressed his palm to the wall, stabilizing himself as he snapped his hips harder, and she was done for.

Her head fell back, lips parted in ecstasy as his thick cock was hitting that sweet sweet spot inside her, bringing her closer to the edge, and he could feel that. Pressing her back harder against the wall, he hooked his arm underneath her knee, spreading her legs even more.

The hot coil in her stomach was tightening so fast her breath quickly became uneven, shallow, only gasps escaping her lips, fingers squeezing his arm so hard her knuckles turned white.

"Fuck, I'm gonna-" she stuttered, eyes shutting close when he licked a long stripe up her neck, teeth sinking into sensitive skin just below her ear.

"I know, baby" he murmured, "I know." He always liked to watch her come undone due to his fingers, lips, cock, but this time he was chasing his own release, his thrusts deep and fast, metal fingers gripping her ass hard enough to leave bruises.

Her pussy was squeezing him so so deliciously, his senses were almost overtaken by the sounds their wet skin made, lungs filling with her scent with every rapid breath, but he needed to make sure she comes first, as always.

And as if she was reading his mind, she reached between their bodies, nimble fingers pressing to her clit, rubbing fast circles to help herself, him, to tip her over the edge.

"Kiss me, please..." she begged breathlessly, half-lidded eyes meeting his, darkened with lust. He captured her lips with his in a sloppy kiss, one that quickly turns all teeth and tongues, his flesh hand grabbing the back of her neck, pulling her closer.

She didn't stop rubbing her clit, her arousal now dripping onto his cock, drenching his balls and pants, making his thrusts easier, the sounds wet and lewd. And that was exactly what she needed, mind blowing orgasm crashing through her body, cunt clenching around his length so hard his thrusts became erratic, frenzied.

Burying his cock deep inside her hot pussy, he coated her walls in his seed, letting her milk him dry, as she rode down from her high, her fingers pressed to her throbbing clit. His lips muffled her moans, and if he wasn't kissing her when she came probably everyone would hear how good he made her feel.

"I missed you, too, Buck," she whispered, resting her forehead on his, noses brushing against each other, heavy breaths mixing.

"Yeah, I figured it out," he chucked, his fingers loosening the grip on her ass, and she winced, already feeling the bruises forming. Her legs were sore, tired like after a long run, so she relaxed them, letting him hold her entire weight on his own.

"We should go, you know. We're really risking getting caught..."

A moment later he tucked himself into his pants, straightened his belt and shirt, watching her closely as she quickly made herself look presentable. She, on the other hand, was avoiding looking at him, slightly ashamed of herself, of what they just did.

Thank goodness she was wearing a longer dress today, his cum was dripping out of her, her thighs were wet and sticky, panties a damp mess.

Her cheeks were burning with shame, but she couldn't escape his gaze for eternity, especially that he was weirdly quiet, and that made her look at him.

"What?"

"Did I... Did I hurt you too much?" He was honestly concerned, his brows furrowed, worried wrinkle forming between them as he studied her face.

"That's what you're thinking about?" She quirked her eyebrows, smile spreading across her features. "No, you didn't. I'm fine, really," she reassured him, tucking wet from sweat strands of hair back behind her ears.

He didn't seem convinced, but he learned not to argue with her, only nodded slowly, running fingers through his hair.

"May I walk you home?" An innocent question.

"We live together, Buck," she laughed lightheartedly, her eyes sparkling with true joy when he smiled smugly.

"I know. I'm just trying to be a gentleman. And I like when you laugh..."

"I think you like it more when I moan your name," she teased, slipping her hand into his, interlacing her fingers with his metal ones, and to her surprise he didn't even flinch, making her smile grow wider. "Come on, you've been gone for four days, I need more than a quickie."

AN: So, yeah, my first time posting here. It took my five days to finish this, and I'm not even sure if I like it. I have a problem with finishing smutty parts, that's why it ends... badly. Also, it was entirely written on my phone, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes.

There's no name in the fic so I'm tagging it as a reader insert, dunno, feedback would be nice, but if I may, please, be... kind. English isn't my first language, and I've never posted anything like that here, or anywhere to be honest.

#bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky x reader #bucky x reader smut #bucky x ofc #bucky x ofc smut #smut #marvel smut #reader insert #song fic #first time posting

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mendeshoney · 4 years

Text

Take Me As I Am

Chapter 15

“What the hell do you want?” Shawn demands, the office door shutting behind him.

Maddie winces at his voice. “I just wanted to talk.”

Shawn scoffs. “Oh, so now you want to talk?”

“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you, but-”

“I haven’t been answering.” He finishes for her. “There’s a reason for that, you know. I’m not exactly keen on talking to the woman who left me at the altar on what should have been the happiest day of our lives.”

She frowns. “I deserve that.”

“That’s not half of what you deserve.” He spits, face hardening when she stands from her seat.

“You don’t mean that.”

“I mean it and more, Madison.” He says. When he uses her full name, her frown deepens.

“I deserve that too.” She says. “But I did come here to talk to you.”

“About what? What could you possibly have to say to me after all this time?”

“I wanted to apologize.” She explains. “And I wanted to give you an explanation.”

Shawn fumes, his blood boiling in disgust. “Oh? Now you think I want an explanation? You think months after everything that I suddenly want an explanation? I don’t need one, Madison! You cheated on me with him and left me for him, what else is there to explain? I don’t need a why, and I don’t need any other details, and I frankly don’t care why you’re back in town. Does it bother me that you keep popping up in my life? Yeah, a lot. Because I was doing just fine without you in it!”

“You call getting into a car accident, drinking yourself into a stupor, and getting community service instead of jail time ‘doing just fine?’” She spits. “Because if so then yeah, you were peachy keen.”

His eyes narrow. “How do you know about that? Any of that?” He demands. “Not the accident. But the rest. How did you know?”

“People tell me things, Shawn.” She says, frowning. “They’re worried about you, so they confide in me.”

“Oh bullshit!” He exclaims, taking a step away from her when she tries to reach out to him. “Who is it? Huh? Which one of your little friends did you plant on my team?”

“She’s not a plant!” Maddie shouts, but then covers her mouth instantly. Shawn scoffs, knowing exactly who Maddie is referring to.

Taylor. She’s someone new to Shawn’s team, and she’s the liaison between him and his PR team. Taylor and Maddie were pretty cordial back then, and Shawn’s not sure how he missed that.

Then again, he was pretty blinded by love, so he’s not exactly surprised.

“Figures.” He mutters.

“Shawn, I honestly just want to talk.” Maddie repeats. “I want to work things out between us.”

“So what? So I can take you back?”

“No! Because I want us to be friends!”

“I don’t want to be your friend, Maddie. I wanted to be your husband.” He says, feeling exhausted. “I was already your friend, one of your best friends, and then you left me at the altar for another guy you hadn’t seen or spoken to in years. So now, I don’t want to be anything to you.”

There’s anger in her face. “So what? You can either be my husband or not? Is that how this works?”

Shawn shakes his head. “That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is, I know you want a chance for me to be in your life, but I don’t want that chance. What I want is to be rid of you, for good. I want you to stop popping up, stop showing up at my job, stop showing up where I don’t want you to be, and leave me alone.”

“Shawn, I-”

“You made your choice, Maddie.” He says. “You were the one who left me. You made your choice and walked out and you seemed pretty content with it then, leaving without so much as an apology.”

“I’m trying to apologize now!”

“Yeah!” He exclaims. “When it’s too late! And you’re only apologizing because you /want/ something, Maddie. That’s how you are. You’re not actually sorry, you don’t actually care. And you know what? There are some things you can’t fix with just an apology. It’s not good enough, and in your case, it will never be.” He walks toward the office door, and opens it, gesturing toward the doorway. “You want to make this right? Leave me alone, and move on with your life, because that’s what I’m doing with mine. I don’t need your apology, Madison. I need you to move on, and leave me alone. ”

She frowns, mouth agape and ready to respond, but she doesn’t. Instead, she gets up and walks toward the door, stopping when she’s in front of Shawn.

“I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me,” she says.

He looks at her, but says nothing, and she gets the message loud and clear, walking out of the office. He watches her walk out of the school, and the minute she’s out of sight, Shawn lets out a large sigh, one that ends with his breath coming out shakily.

The shaking turns into him quietly beginning to cry, all the frustration, anger, and resentment leaving his body after months of harboring them. Mrs. Goldman comes in then, and wraps her arms around him as he cries, tears running down his face.

“It’s okay, Shawn.” Melodie tells him. “It’s okay. You did the right thing.” He nods, and she rubs his back comfortingly. “You did what needed to be done.”

Adrian stands when he recognizes Quinn and dusts off his pants. He looks the same, just a little taller, more muscle on his body, and his hair a little longer than he used to keep it.

“Hi Quinn.” He says, smiling softly. It’s a smile Quinn remembers, one she saw after their first kiss, first time, after he cried happy tears when she agreed to marry him.

A smile she didn’t think she’d see ever again.

He’s either the biggest idiot in the world or he doesn’t see the sheer confusion in Quinn’s eyes at his presence. She’s not scared of him, just scared of what it means that he’s here.

“Adrian,” she repeats. “What are you doing here? Why are you in Toronto?”

Play dumb, she thinks. Deny, deny, deny.

“I’m on leave.” He explains, shrugging. “I came to visit Max, make amends for everything that happened back then. I figured while I was on that train I’d make amends with you too.”

Quinn shakes her head, taking a small step back. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, Adrian.”

He frowns, but nods. “I understand. I just...I figured that I’d at least try, you know?” His eyes are sincere when he says “You of all people deserve the biggest apology from me.”

Quinn notices him shiver slightly, and realizes his clothes are slightly wet, meaning he got caught in the snowfall from earlier that day, and has probably been sitting in the cold hallway of her building like this for hours.

Her gut instinct is telling her to send him away, get rid of him, but the human part of her sighs, pulling her keys out of her bag. He’s from Temecula, for goodness sakes. It’s no wonder he’s not dressed for a Canadian winter.

“I’m leaving in a few minutes,” she says, “but you can come in for a cup of coffee if you’d like, warm up a little.”

Adrian’s eyes widen in surprise, but he nods, stuffing his hands in his pockets and taking a step back to let Quinn open her door.

She’s nervous as he follows behind her, shutting the door and toeing off his shoes. He follows her to the kitchen, where he leans against the counter as she goes about making him a cup of coffee.

“How’ve you been?” He asks.

Quinn sighs, catching the time on her Apple Watch and knowing she has to go meet Shawn at his place soon.

She hands Adrian the mug of coffee, shrugging. “Been busy, mostly. But good. And you?”

“The same.” He says. “Max says you’re a teacher now?”

“I am. Third grade.”

“Nice.” He says. She notices his hands are shaking - a tell tale sign that he’s nervous - and she hates how she remembers even the smallest things about him. “They must adore you.”

“It changes from day to day.” She jokes, smiling softly.

Adrian watches as she smiles, then his face turns soft, and he frowns, putting his mug down on the counter. “Look, I uh...I wanted to come by to talk. I think I’ve beat around the bush on this long enough, but I wanted to come here to tell you that I’m sorry. That you deserve the most sincerest of all apologies and I’m sorry I couldn’t give it to you sooner.”

Quinn nods, trying to school her shocked expression. He waits for her to butt in, to kick him out and tell him to get lost, but she says nothing, so he continues. “Back then...I wasn’t thinking. We were having issues, and she was just there, and it happened. But it only happened that one time, which I know isn’t saying anything because once is enough, but I wanted to let you know it wasn’t anything on going. I know back then, Max had suspicions she was sleeping around, but it wasn’t with me.”

He takes a deep breath, struggling to meet her eyes, but does so anyway, knowing she deserves the truth no matter how overdue. “That night...it wasn’t anything you did. And I know the whole ‘it’s not you it’s me’ thing is outdated and stupid, but I promise you Quinn, it wasn’t you. It was all me - nothing you did drove me to her. It was just me, me not thinking about you, me being upset at myself, me making a terrible mistake. And I’m sorry.”

“Adrian-”

“You didn’t deserve that, and you still don’t. I know it won’t change anything, and I promise this isn’t just to clear my conscience. I wanted to see you because I wanted to sincerely apologize and I want you to know you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and that you are amazing exactly as you are, and I never deserved you.”

There are no words that come to Quinn’s mind, nothing that she can think to say to him at this point. She never expected any of it, but then again, she also never expected to see him again.

Adrian takes a small step closer. “I’m not saying this to get you to come back to me, or to try to convince you to do anything, or even ask to be your friend. I just want you to know.” Quinn meets his eyes then, finally, and he breaks a little inside. “Max told me, when we were catching up, he told me what you went through. What I put you through. Quinn, I’m so sorry.”

He hugs her then, holding her close, and Quinn takes in a sharp breath. She blinks, vision blurry, and she doesn’t realize she’s crying until she sees the wet spot on his shirt. It takes a few moments, but when she hugs him back, he’s shaking a little, and the wet drop that lands on her cheeks tells her he’s crying too.

“It’s okay.” She says. The more she thinks about it, she has no reason not to move on from him. Granted, even Adrian knows forgiveness isn’t guaranteed, but she’s spent so long not wanting to be in this moment with him, that now that she is, she knows it’s in the past for both of them.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She repeats. They hug for a minute longer before she pulls back, and they both wipe their eyes, laughing at how they must look to the other person.

It’s then that she spots the ring on his finger, and she smiles. “You found someone new, then?”

He laughs, a light flush coming to his cheeks. “Yeah. Moved about as fast as we did.”

“Are you married yet?”

Adrian nods, smiling. “We got married this past summer. She actually was the one who encouraged me to come here and do this. I told her about what happened, she figured it would be a good way to get closure for us both.”

“She sounds like a smart woman.”

“She is.” Adrian says, smiling fondly at the thought of his wife. Quinn’s watch vibrates, and her phone lets off a text alert in her back pocket, and when he sees Quinn blush, he laughs. “I take it you found someone new, too, then?”

Quinn lowers her eyes, shooting off a text to Shawn before pocketing her phone. “It’s a uh...recent development.”

“Does Max know about this ‘recent development’ then?”

She shakes her head. “Not completely, but he’ll get the details when it’s time.”

“Does he make you happy? Does he treat you better than I did?”

Quinn nods, feeling no shame when she looks Adrian in the eyes and says, “Yeah, he does.”

Adrian nods. “I’m happy for you, Quinn. I’m happy that you’re happy.”

“Thank you.” She says, honestly.

And this time, when she says goodbye to Adrian, there’s no hurt, no worry that he’ll pop up, no concern.

Just peace.

Shawn is...shocked. To say the least. At first, as Quinn recounted the events, his blood boiled in his veins, but as she continued, he couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for Adrian, knowing he’d waited all this time to just give her the apology she deserved all along.

It also gets him to tell Quinn just exactly what happened at school after she left, and at that, Quinn was definitely upset.

Even though Mrs. Goldman all but banned Maddie from the premises for life, ordering security to memorize her face and keep her away from Littlewood at all costs, she wishes she could have been there to help Shawn out.

“I’m sorry.” She says. “About Maddie. And Adrian.”

Shawn shakes his head, reaching across the couch to pull her into his lap. “What’s there to be sorry about? I’d call this fate.”

Quinn raises a brow suspiciously. “You would?”

He nods. “It’s not like they both planned to come back into our lives on the same day, right when things are falling into place for us. And it’s not like you or I were ever prepared to face them ever again either. So I’d call it kismet.”

“Kismet.” Quinn says, then scoffs. Shawn huffs a little, nuzzling her neck.

“Are you trying to tell me you don’t feel relieved after talking to him?”

She pauses, then looks down at Shawn, who’s already watching her expectantly. “I do, yeah,” she says. “You feel relieved after talking to Maddie?”

He nods, pressing a kiss to the bare skin at the nape of her neck. “Definitely.” Quinn hums, and Shawn smirks. “See? Kismet.”

“Okay” she says, rolling her eyes. “Kismet it is. Kismet ruined our dinner plans.”

Shawn chuckles, smoothing her curls down. “It’s okay bubba, we can order delivery. I think we’ve earned it.”

He untangles himself from her on the couch and heads into the kitchen, ruffling through some of the take out menus.

Quinn quietly watches him from her spot on the couch, and smiles to herself.

Months ago she didn’t think she’d even be able to get along with Shawn, and now here she is, slowly moving in and dating him.

She’d been emotionally drained after meeting with Adrian, albeit in a good way, but the more she thought about what Adrian said, about how now that they’d spoken they could both move on from that chapter of their lives, she was right.

The same clearly happened for Shawn and Maddie. The entire reason she ended up at Littlewood was because of the way she and Adrian fell apart. And the reason she’d met Shawn was because of the cataclysmic way he and Maddie had fallen apart.

Two broken hearts, brought together in pain, but on the same day, somehow, miraculously, their hearts had been healed, closure found, and a clean slate presented itself for her and Shawn to start their relationship together in peace.

While she couldn’t say for sure she knew where it was going, Quinn was certain of one thing.

If this was kismet, she could get used to it.

Quinn dreams of Shawn again. This time, when she dreams, it’s not so far out of reach or unfamiliar. They’re back at the cabin up north. It’s warmer out, the summer air creeping inside but it calms her down as she pads to the kitchen.

She reaches up for a glass from the cupboard when Shawn comes in, and smiles instantly, giggling when he bends down to scoop her up for a kiss, placing her on the kitchen counter so he can stand between her legs.

“Good morning bubba.” He breathes, peppering kisses all over her face. Quinn laughs, gently pushing him away. He goes easy, but keeps his hands in hers.

“Where’d you go?” She asks.

“Just to get gas for the trip home. Are you hungry?”

“Not hungry, just thirsty. I was gonna make a smoothie, if you want one.”

“I’ll make it honey, it’s okay.” He promises, kissing her on the forehead before turning to the cupboards.

Quinn frowns. “Shawn I can-”

“The doctor said you have to take it easy.” He reminds her, “You’re due any day now.”

She looks down at her swollen stomach, rubbing it out of habit. “Yeah but making a smoothie isn’t going to make my water break.”

“No,” he says, putting everything into the blender, “But it’ll mean you can rest and relax a little while longer, and I can dote on you for a little more.”

He presses start and goes about making them smoothies, pouring them into two glasses when he’s done. He hands her one, and she smiles, rubbing her belly. “Tell me again.”

Shawn chuckles, but obliges. “Jamison and Oliver. Jamie and Ollie. No middle names yet because we haven’t decided, but we’ll get there. They’re going to have both of our curls, and they’ll have your eyes, and they’re going to go to Littlewood, and get the best education their parents can give them.”

“And you’ll sing to them?”

He nods, pressing a cold kiss to Quinn’s nose. “I’ll sing to them everyday. And if and when I go back to the studio, or on tour, I’ll sing for them especially. And you, obviously.”

She smiles, satisfied, and Shawn steps between her legs again, wrapping his arms around her as tight as he can without crushing her. “If I ask you to tell me again, would you?”

“I’d tell you over and over, bubba.”

When she wakes, it’s in the middle of the night, and Shawn’s got an arm around her middle, pulling her close to his chest. He smiles softly when she comes to.

“Watching me sleep?” She murmurs, and he snuffs, pulling her closer and adjusting the blankets.

“You look beautiful, so peaceful. I can’t help it. What were you dreaming about?”

“You.” She answers honestly. “Us. Babies.”

Shawn pauses, smiling. “Jamison and Oliver?”

She nods, lacing her fingers through his. “The very same.”

Shawn smiles. “We’ll meet them someday.”

“I know we will.” She says. “Get some rest, babe. School tomorrow.”

“I will.” He promises, peppering kisses all over her face until she erupts into sleepy giggles. “I just want to tell you something first.”

“Yeah?” She murmurs, “what’s that?”

“I love you.” He says. Shawn laughs as her eyes shoot open, and he leans in for a kiss, whispering it in the quiet of their room one more time for good measure.

“I love you too.” Quinn breathes between kisses, accepting each of them as they come.

Shawn’s heart swells, and he pulls her closer, shutting his eyes as his heart beats steadily in his chest.

It’s been an emotional few days for the both of them, and he’s extremely thankful it’s finally over.

To think this all started with someone who left him alone on the altar. Someone who left him heartbroken and bruised that led him to Quinn, to the one person who peeled back the layers and saw Shawn.

Just Shawn, exactly as he was, exactly for who he has always been.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes writing #shawn mendes x ofc #shawn mendes x poc #shawn peter raul mendes #take me as I am

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gentlemanmendes · 6 years

Text

Beauty Behind the Madness | 14

a/n: I will be posting a part of bbtm each day until it is finished. previous chapters can be found in my masterlist under Beauty behind the Madness

14:

Now that I look back at it bringing Layla home with me was probably the worst idea I had ever come up with. After having sex I had expected her to leave but she didn't, instead she stayed in bed and clung onto my arm like a leech. When Miranda had rocked up to do our assignment Layla had sat with us in the dining room and kept talking about rubbish to distract us. It had become too much even for Miranda to handle so she had left and told me she would just email me the rest. So instead Aaliyah had sat with us, reluctantly , in the lounge room and watched a movie.

Now it was five in the afternoon on a Saturday and she still hadn't left. She was really beginning to bug me. Layla had never been one of those annoyingly clingy girls which was making me wonder why had she been acting this way since yesterday afternoon.

Thankfully my parents wouldn't be getting in until late tonight meaning that I had from now until then to find a way to get rid of Layla. Everywhere that I went she would follow and it was beginning to drive me insane.

As I got out of bed I made my way to the window pulling on my tee shirt just needing to put as much space as I possibly could between Layla and I who was sat on my bed watching me with prying eyes.

The last thing I had expected to see, which shouldn't have come as a surprise considering this was once a normal thing , was Arleigh sitting on the front steps of the house her sketch book on her lap and her fingers gripping a pencil that seemed to be attacking the page before her, a cup of coffee next to her.

Not being able to help it I allow a smile to take over my face as I watch Arleigh. This had once been her Saturday morning ritual, and now she was finally doing it again. Was she becoming herself again?

Looking through the kitchen window I had found Arleigh seated on the front steps of her house and hurried over to see her. Mr Axle and Arleigh had left not long after I had dropped her off on Friday afternoon and considering I hadn't seen the car in the driveway yesterday or this morning I'm positive that they have just gotten home. Without hesitation I hurry out the front door and down the driveway to see Arleigh. The last time we had seen each other things hadn't actually gone as well as they should have.

"Hey." I greet once I'm seated next to her. She doesn't respond and I can't help but wonder if she is still mad at me for what happened on Friday afternoon. Just as I'm about to open my mouth and apologies Arleigh starts crying.

"I'm sorry." She whispered as she covered her face with her hands. In panic I wrap my arms around her and pull her into my chest.

"No don't cry, it's not your fault, I was kind of an ass." I admit wanting nothing more than for Arleigh to stop crying. She shook her head and mumbled a 'no' that was muffled by my shirt as she continued to sob gripping onto me tightly in hopes of comfort. Not knowing what else to do, I hold her tight and kiss her forehead every now and then.

To be honest I never really knew how to act around Arleigh when she cried, she always seemed so fragile and broken when she cries causing me to feel hopeless because I know that there is nothing I can do to help. But right now sitting here with her sobbing into my chest I realise that the best thing to do is allow her this chance to let it all out.

Eventually she had managed to calm herself down and pulled her face out of My chest but kept close with her head against my chest as my arms stayed securely wrapped around her. She was looking down the driveway at nothing in particular when she started talking.

"My dad took me to Newtown." She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair hoping to push away the few strands that were sticking to her tear stained cheeks.

"Where you lived before you moved here?" I couldn't help but interrupt. She had only spoken of the place she had lived before she moved next door a handful of times and most of those times had been when she first moved here.

"Yeah." She nodded her head in response as she used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe away the tears that were still falling.

She took in a deep breath and let out a shaky one as if she wasn't ready to say what she wanted to say. In hopes of encouraging her I began rubbing small circles on her back. This seemed to work as she leaned further into me.

"We moved because my mum died, my dad hated the me,oth and moved somewhere else." She breathed out uneasily as she choked on more tears. To say that I was shocked by her confession would be an understatement. "Yesterday was her birthday, she would be forty this year. My dad took me to see her grave for the first time, I hadn't even gone to her funeral because he wouldn't let me. Since he had let me go see her for the first time I assumed that he would finally tell me how she died but he refused to and forced me in the car and back here."

All this time I have hated Arleigh for her highly built walls and constant secrets but now I realise she had ever right to. Only now do I realise that she has true horrors in her past that I would never understand. She had lost her mother and didn't even know what had happened to her. She didn't have something as simple as closure.

So many questions were running through my mind but I didn't know how to ask them or if I should ask them. Arleigh was finally letting it all out, right now wasn't the time to interrogate her.

"He never used to be like this. We were a very happy family but when my mum died he changed so much. I lost both my parents and I don't even know why or how." She continued to sob.

Not knowing what to say I allow my head to drop to her shoulder as I let out a deep sigh. I want to know what had changed, why is she telling me all this now but obviously it isn't the right time.

"I want you to help me find out." For the first time since I got here, when I look to Arleigh she is looking back at me. My insides clench at the sight of how broken she looks and I promise myself that I will help her no matter what.

***

Turning around abruptly I make my way back to my bed and attach my lips to Layla's. She seems thrown off by my sudden action but is quick to react.

To be honest I can't remember how man rounds we went or how long we lasted all I know was that for hours I kept trying and trying to forget Arleigh until I realised I couldn't. I needed to finally except the fact that there is no possible way for me to forget Arleigh because I don't want to. For the last six years she has been my best friend and girlfriend for three and a half of those years. I saw her every single day and I wouldn't have had it any other way. A part of me doesn't want to forget Arleigh because I still have hope that things will return to what they once were. How am I supposed to move on when I am still clinging on to the past?

A knock came at my bedroom door followed by the door swinging open. Aaliyah hurries into my room only to let out a horrified scream causing me to cock my head to see her.

"Ewh, I just saw your butt!" She cried out.

"Aaliyah get out!" I yell as I try to cover myself from my sisters eyes. I heard the door slam shut and when I looked back at where Aaliyah had been standing I find that she was gone.

"Arleigh's here to see you." Aaliyah calls through the door causing my whole body to freeze. Did I hear Aaliyah wrong? I must have. Arleigh wouldn't come to see me, she had no reason to. She has a restraining order against me. Why would she approach me?

However without hesitation I jump up from my bed and pull the closest thing I can find on which is a pair of old grey sweatpants and a dirty white tee shirt. When I pull open the door Aaliyah is still standing there and seems shocked by how quick I was. Following her down the stairs attempting to fix up my messed up hair. Sure enough when I am down stairs Arleigh is standing awkwardly in the entrance hall right next to the door as if she was making sure she was close enough to an exit if she needed to escape.

Once I am in plain sight and Arleigh's eyes fall on me I stop running and walk slowly. I don't know what to say or how to approach her. A million thoughts are running through my mind and it feels good. I'm excited.

With one more step I'm standing right in front of Arleigh looking down at her, my heart is fluttering and I want to confess to her how much I have missed her. I want to cry and tell her that I'm sorry for what I did and everything I put her through. I just want to wrap my arms around her and hold her close. She stares back at me blankly adding to the pressure. This is my last shot and I can't afford to mess it up.

Just as I open my mouth to speak heavy footsteps from upstairs can be heard hurrying down the stairs. Both mine and Arleigh's gazes turn towards the stairs where we find Layla hurrying down with nothing but one of my tee shirts on. Layla is about to approach us but Aaliayh who is standing at the end of the hall, hiding hopelessly behind the wall ears dropping, pulls her to a stop. Quickly I turn back to Arleigh to find her looking else where. I want to know what is going through her mind. I want to apologise and tell her that Layla means nothing to me, that Arleigh is all I ever think about. But instead I stay silent. I don't know how to speak, or how I would say it.

"Um, I need your help." She mumbles sheepishly as she keeps her attention on the floorboards. When I don't respond she finally looks up at me again and continues. "Mitch is drunk and he showed up at my house. I need him gone before my dad comes home. He will go crazy if he sees Mitch." Arleigh's voice is a lot softer than I remember, she also seems more timid then she used to be. Well at least around me she was always a little more laid back and confident.

It's Saturday. Meaning Mitch went to his parents today and is now drunk. What doesn't make sense is why would he show up at Arleigh's place? The only time he ever stepped foot in that house was that night. He has no reason to go back, besides he hates Arleigh. Maybe this was his plot at seeking revenge.

Still unable to find my words I nod my head and follow Arleigh out the door sliding on an old pair of sneakers that I had left outside by the door.

Just as we are making our way down the drive Layla comes after us but I tell her to go back inside. I don't want her around Arleigh, or me while I am with Arleigh.

The walk is a tense silence but I still can't help but feel giddy about the fact that Arleigh came to me, she still wants to come to me! After everything that happened we might still have a chance.

As we walk through the house painful memories fill my mind of that night,I hadn't been in this house all that much and the strongest memory I have is of me running through these halls hopping to get away from that dreaded mess that I had caused. I try to push the thought away as we make our way to the lounge room where sure enough Mitch is sprawled out on the lounge looking as though he was about to pass out. Pulling him up I can't help but groan in irritation at the situation. Why did Mitch have to be such a wreck? As a kid he was great and sure he might have been a bit of a dick in middle school but now he's a full blown wreck of an asshole. He was becoming worse and worse to deal with.

As I walk through the front door Aaliyah gives me a questioning look when she notices I'm pulling along Mitch. Mitch hasn't set foot in this house for six months, she probably thought we weren't friends anymore. Well we are barley friends now compared to when we were kids.

tag list: @honeypotmendes @illuminatedestiny @youllbemineandillbeyours@justanotherfangirl272 @clarissityy @bianca-warriorwriter

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes story #shawn mendes series #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes x ofc #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fiction #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes blurbs #shawn mendes blurb

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