#shit posting about Paul is my favourite past-time

[mooseyspooky]

Moz Solo was already on it @lovely-lady-fox! FamousWhenDead posted the whole thing:

Johnny Marr: How could Meryl Streep agree to be in Mamma Mia?

The guitarist lets us into his cultural life, from his love of David Hockney to making his friends watch a Joan Didion documentary

My favourite piece of music For a long time now, it’s been My Goal’s Beyond by John McLaughlin. Like his work with the Mahavishnu Orchestra, it is in a genre entirely of its own. It’s unquantifiable and makes me feel a certain way, no matter what happens in the outside world.

The lyric I wish I’d written “You’re going to reap just what you sow”, from Perfect Day by Lou Reed.

The instrument I wish I’d learnt Piano. I can play it, but only in amateurish fashion. I should say though there are guitar players who play the piano nicely like Neil Young, Paul McCartney and David Bowie. They play it as a means to an end and do wonderful things with it. But I would like to be a few levels up from there.

The music that cheers me up Any good pop music, which by definition usually means contemporary. There are things from my past that of course make me feel good. But there’s something about hearing music that’s fresh, upbeat and represents the modern world — it makes you feel that everything is OK.

I’m having a fantasy dinner party, I’ll invite these artists and authors Gary Oldman, Muhammad Ali and certainly Marilyn Monroe.

And I’ll put on this music Spirit Power: The Best of Johnny Marr.

Overrated I don’t tend to like shitting on people, but Mamma Mia!, for God’s sake, or We Will Rock You or any of those sorts of musicals. How did it get to that? We’re supposed to go along with the idea that they’re good. What was Meryl Streep thinking she was doing starring in that film, and Julie Walters? What were they thinking? There are a lot of things culturally that we’ve just gone along with and they really must stop.

Underrated

Blindboy Boatclub, the artist and musician from Limerick, is best known as one half of the Irish comedy hip-hop group the Rubberbandits. He’s amazing, has such an interesting way of thinking and also hosts the brilliant series The Blindboy Podcast too. One of the best books I have ever read is his Topographia Hibernica. I can’t recommend him or it enough.

My favourite author

Aldous Huxley. People would assume I’m thinking about Brave New World orThe Doors of Perception, but I’m actually referring to his work after he moved to the United States in the second half of his life. His essays and lectures are even better than his earlier work. I rediscovered him in the Nineties and he is my actual hero. Everything you read of his is an education.

The book I’m reading

Autobiography of Red by Anne Carson. It’s a trip, moving around from style to style. The novel is loosely based on Greek mythology, but set in modern times. It’s relatable and super interesting. PJ Harvey introduced me to Carson, an intriguing cross between an essayist and a poet.

The book I couldn’t finish

The Perennial Philosophy by Aldous Huxley. Just couldn’t do it.

The book I’m ashamed I haven’t read Ulysses by James Joyce. It just sounds so hard going. I love the idea of it and feel genuinely bad that I haven’t read it, but I do also feel like I know so much about it already. I admire it enough, without feeling the need to put myself through the hassle of reading it.

My favourite film Sergio Leone’s film Once Upon a Time in America. When it was first released, I went to see it a few times and decided then it was the best thing I’d ever seen. I recently saw The End We Start From, starring Jodie Comer. It’s so good. Amazingly, I came away from it with this feeling of triumph of the human spirit. It says a lot about what it means to be human and what we fundamentally need, which is compassion, connection, love and understanding. And Comer is just so believable in the role.

The box set I’m hooked on I’m rewatching Nurse Jackie. There’s so much good stuff out there that whenever I occasionally revisit old, great stuff, you forget how much it stands up. I like anything Edie Falco is in. I also have just rewatched the documentary Joan Didion: The Center Will Not Hold. I’ve watched it at least three times and whenever someone comes to my place that hasn’t watched it, I watch it with them.

My favourite TV series It has to be Mad Men. One of my friends is eagle-eyed and noticed that when they put an album on a turntable, it has the correct label from the Sixties. That’s crazy.

The film I walked out on

There are loads, often stuff I take my kids to see and they don’t even notice I’d left. I didn’t enjoy Baby Driver — I didn’t like the music in that at all.

I wasted an evening watching Manchester City play in the Champions League final in 2021.

The last movie that made me cry These days I can cry at almost anything so I can’t remember.

The place I feel happiest Running around Brooklyn, over the Williamsburg Bridge. Or around Portland, Oregon. Whenever I’m at those places, I always run unless I’m injured. I’ve done a lot of things in my life, but nothing quite beats that.

My guiltiest cultural pleasure Cheese and onion pasty, chips and peas. Anybody who says that’s not a culture doesn’t know what they are talking about.

If I could own one painting it would be We Two Boys Together Clinging by David Hockney. Any of his work would be a dream to own. Even the iPad stuff is beautiful. I went to see David Hockney: Bigger and Closer at the Lightroom and it was great.

FamousWhenDead's post of the article

#johnny marr #These days i can cry at almost anything my God johnny just rip my heart out gosh #Sweet soft boy just out here being a part time Philosophy major

[duchessdepolignaca03]

Thanks @priincebutt for the tag! This is an open tag, because I don't want to tag anyone specifically as some of these questions are a little sketch, so the answers below are a little obtuse/long-winded. This was SUPER FUN though!

Are you named after anyone?

Yes - a pop star and a jewelry company/type of diamond cut. 

When was the last time you cried?

During Totality of the 2024 Solar Eclipse, genuinely one of the most beautiful and awe-inspiring moments of my life.  I was struck by the beauty of the corona which shimmered like diamonds in the sky, struck by perfect randomness of the universe that that gave us a sun that’s 400x bigger than the moon and 400x as far, creating the perfect symmetry to allow for a solar eclipse, and how this same random perfection gave me my daughter, loving husband and all the privileges I have in my life.

Hours before, I also shed frustrated and sad tears that my enjoyment of a fandom that has given me so much joy and creative inspiration has soured over being soundly, but unexpectedly, rejected. Frustrated and sad that I may have to bow out and give up something I thoroughly enjoyed giving my free labour to and through which I have made some wonderful friends that have buoyed me over the past year.  

Do you have kids?

See above.

What sports do you play/have you played?

I was never a sporty kid, but as an adult I discovered running, which has both been a lifeline and a source of endless frustration and pain. I’ve run a marathon, about a dozen half marathons,  innumerable 5ks and 10ks and kicked the butt of a 30k once in a winter storm. I can’t wait to rediscover running again and start my running journey from scratch.

Do you use sarcasm?

Not as much as I wish I would like. I’m not as spicy as I think I am, haha. 

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

How they are treating me, which tells me how they want to be treated back.

What’s your eye color?

Dark like my soul! You can hardly see my pupils, and its not because I’m high! 

Scary movies or happy endings comedies?

Neither! I love a good story, I love a drama. My favourite films recently have been films that felt simultaneously satisfying and unsatisfying at the same time. Both feature Paul Mescal (Aftersun and All of Us Strangers), and focus on parenthood and the relationships we have with the memories of our parents.

Any talents?

Not really? I suppose I have a talent for seeming more enthusiastic about things than I really am. 

Where were you born?

In a city in an archipelago in the Pacific Ocean. 

What are your hobbies?

Motherhood and full time job life doesn’t leave a lot of time for hobbies, but I l have love engaging in the RWRB fandom, and reading and writing and making some amazing friends. Before writing  and posting fanfiction, I did a lot of roleplaying on IJ, Tumblr and Discord. I enjoy broadway musicals and watching too much British television. I also love riding the Peloton and a good strength session!

Do you have any pets?

Yes. But I see you with this revealing security question, potential fraudster :P

How tall are you?

I grew up in poverty in a developing country, subsisting mostly on rice and coffee and white bread with mayonnaise (yes, mayonnaise), raised by a loving but chain-smoking mother. There was no hope for me to become taller than an oversized hobbit. Let’s just say my husband and I have to toggle the Peloton back and forth between the most extreme settings possible.

Favorite subject in school?

History and Politics. The great loves of my life, if its not already obvious.

Dream job?

My current job is nominally my dream job. However, I would like to serve a government that genuinely cares about the public, that thinks beyond myopic and cynical politics and actually wants to improve the lives of ordinary citizens, uplift the vulnerable, tax the shit out of the rich and - at minimum - not support genocide. 

#tag game #about me #duchess de polignac

[breitzbachbea]

A Rec For All The Hetalia History Nerds Out Here

Hello my fellow enthusiasts of the five minute comedy anime. I actually decided I should do even more unpaid PR for my favourite BBC4 Podcast.

Anyways, if you are a fan of Hetalia and already a history nerd/would like to get into history, do I have the thing for you:

You're Dead To Me is a Podcast for "people who don't like history, people who do like history and those who forgot to learn any at school". Each episode, the host Greg Jenner (Public Historian & "Chief Nerd to the TV show Horrible Histories") sits down with a comedian and a historical expert, to deliver nearly an hour of a funny history lesson. While you can't cite a podcast for a term paper (as my Dozent pointed out again today), it is still genuine, university lecture level knowledge! And to make sure your head won't explode from all the facts or that the academics won't get lost in ivory tower vocabulary, the class clown is there to ask clever questions and make silly jokes. So it is super factual and super accessible at the same time.

Often, you will get a glimpse at how historians work & how they access the past, too! I know the Anti-Intellectualism is rampant these days, but making academia more transparent and shed light on why certain stories haven't been in the spotlight until recently due to all kinds of bigotry is a much better start than people making shit up on tiktok.

Tomorrow (June 10th), the new series starts, but you can start to listen to the podcast right now with a backlog of over 80 Episodes!

Over 80 Episodes on what, you ask? Everything!

You want to learn about Black History? You will love the episodes on The Notting Hill Carnival, Paul Robeson, the Haitian Revolution, the Harlem Renaissance & many more!

You like your royal history, full of politicking, personal drama and intrigue? We've got The Borgias, King James IV. of Scotland, Saladin and The Mughal Empire for you!

Love the ladies, past and present? Let me introduce you to Eleanor of Aquitane, Joan of Arc, Harriet Tubman, Josephine Baker, Mary Shelley and Mary Wollstonecraft!

Sick of hearing about Western (European) history? Sure thing, find something more to your tastes with The Asante Empire, Mansa Musa, The Tang Dynasty, Genghis Khan, Ivan The Terrible or The Ancient Babylonians.

I could make so many more categories and I'd still not cover every single episode, I am sure. You're Dead To Me is avaible online, on the BBC Sounds App, Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

If you could check out the podcast & share this post/the podcast itself, it would mean a lot to me. As a history student who is currently working on getting her BA, it's immensely important for me that people learn how to recognize the past in the present. That they look around the world and see how we got here a little more clearly; that they look at remnants or depictions of the past and see its context better. If you think that sounds marvellous, if you always wanted to get into history beyond the googleable hard facts, then I invite you to start your journey here with me.

Also, the jokes are often really funny, I swear to God, there are so many bangers that live in my head rentfree.

"So I'm a Dutch-Brit?" "You're a Dutch-Brit." "So I'm Brutch -"

"I have a few silk shirts, every single one of them a mistake. I bought one of them in Italy and I don't know what I was thinking, I look flat-out divorced."

"They found 400.000 [clay] tablets, mate? That's amazing, that's more than at Glastonbury!"

#aph #hetalia #hws #historical hetalia #hetalia meta #meta is probably not the right word although I hope it will inspire some ideas :) #beablabbers #ydtm #you're dead to me podcast #the jokes are from. wouldn't you like to know hehehehe hohoho #jk they are from the mayflower episode with alex edelmann #the genghis khan episode with phil wang #and the the ancient babylonians episode with kae kurd #god I hope desperately we are getting stu goldsmith AND kae kurd back on this series #i know phil wang and desiree burch are returning which is !!!!! :)

[majorbaby]

I have lots to say about S07E23 Preventative Medicine but my document was swelling with analysis of this one line from Hawkeye, and I want to write a whole post about it for a very particular reason.

I've often expressed my frustration at the show being wishy-washy with its anti-army messaging in the later years or not doing right by the Hawkeye character by either softening his opposition to the army or making him say straight up OOC shit. And I've talked broadly about the show doing the same thing in general, saying stuff that I think is OOC for MASH - it's hard to give specific examples because they're so numerous and dispersed.

So when I stumbled upon this one example of I think, very good characterization of Hawkeye that is particularly rich yet distilled nicely in a single line of his dialogue and then masterfully camouflaged by the show's tone and Alan Alda's comedic acting chops, I wanted to point it out. I realized, this- this is why I get so cagey about the poor, inconsistent writing on the show in the later years, because when it is good, it is so fucking good. And Hawkeye is so, so, so fucking good:

Hawkeye: Colonel, you left out a lot of good stuff. What about "Into the Valley of Death" or "Remember the Alamo" or the ever-popular "Damn the Torpedos!" Lacey: Doctor, why do you just take care of these brave men? Hawkeye: "I have not yet begun to fight!"

Just before this, BJ does call Lacey's speech "disgusting" which is gutsy, for BJ. I have to say "for BJ" because to be fair to him, anyone will have a hard time looking gutsy next to Hawkeye (with the exception of Klinger, more on that someday)

Anyway, Hawkeye elevates it from the obvious and situates Lacey’s actions within a broader system of military incompetence leading to senseless death. He makes no less than four historical references:

“Into the Valley of death” From Alfred Tennyson’s poem about the Crimean War, which similarly glorifies the high death toll rather than condemns it. Important to note that Tennyson’s poem is in the same spirit as Lacey’s speech and both Hawkeye and the writers of this episode know that. An aside regarding the poem: Because I am so continually gutted and angered by any positive framing and re-framing of Rudyard Kipling, in the world, but particularly in this fandom, I will be the first to point out that Kipling later wrote “The Last of the Light Brigade” in conversation with Tennyson’s poem. It's not that difficult to find out. Yes, Kipling's "transformative" poem is about the hardships faced by veterans (a departure from Tennyson's poem) and no I don’t think that’s enough to see past Kipling’s extraordinary racism and white-supremacist artistic accompaniment to the brutality of British Colonialism waged upon my ancestors and millions of other people's ancestors - the effects of which are still felt deeply to this day by us as individuals, our communities and are imbued in the systems that oppress us. That should always be at the forefront of Rudyard Kipling's legacy, regardless of context.

“Remember the Alamo” - a similar “last stand” often framed and re-framed as being a brave sacrifice. A favourite war story of the American canon.

“Damn the Torpedos!” you don’t have to live like a refugehhh both Hawkeye and Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers are referencing a quote attributed to US Navy commander, Admiral David Farragut, although it’s doubtful he actually said it, the meaning of the quote remains: charge forward even if you’re likely to die in your attempt. Farragut was a decorated career army man who fought in multiple wars and after his death in the late 1800s became a mascot for the US Navy and his likeness was used on WWI and WWII propaganda posters, urging citizens to sign up. I think Hawkeye and the writers are aware of this too.

After Lacey tries to remind Dr. Pierce MD that he is in fact a doctor not a soldier (cries in the Hawkeye Pierce complex) Hawkeye exclaims “I’ve not yet begun to fight!" – that’s John Paul Jones during the American Revolution while appearing to have lost a battle at sea with the British. He succeeded, but it's worth noting that the ship he was in command of, the Bonhomme Richard, sustained such damage, it sunk.

That is a lot for barely 20 seconds of dialogue.

Hawkeye being anti-army isn’t just broadly true of him. It’s packed very densely into these kinds of lines (of which I'm sure there are many) and then dressed up in theatrics. Alan Alda hams it up here and I love it, because it highlights how vapid and fake military propaganda and nationalist refrains are.

If you’re not familiar with the references he’s making and the analysis of them that I've laid out here/other facts associated with them, then they might just land as a “haha, Hawkeye is such a funny guy” perhaps with some vague awareness that he doesn’t like Lacey.

It's very hard for me to accept anything less from this show, and from Hawkeye in particular, when you have examples of how concentrated and deep his rage and passion runs.

#hawkeye meta #race on mash #re: mash #notes - s07e23: preventative medicine

[scamuel-likely]

Week 2 of writing workshop with @books @bettsfic:

Paying Attention

Observations:

The walk down from my house into the town is one my feet take to as naturally as a falcon to flight. This is a walk I do daily, my battered trainers hitting pavement, sweeping across tire-streaked tarmac, and then hopping onto pavement again. After that initial road is crossed, I jaunt parallel to it until I come to the ever-familiar buildings, that pop up daily in my life like fan favourite characters in a sitcom. The shop where I was yelled at by a crazed employee, the pub that used to be one of my favourite restaurants, the tiny park where I recognise a student who is smoking a spliff behind a tree, the hairdressers where I see Paul in the window and turn away, so he doesn’t have to see my shaggy, messy, in-dire-need-of-a-cut hair. My college sweeps past me, all red bricks and empty classrooms; two weeks until they’re full of whispered laughter and overworked lecturers. After this, I stop. I stand at the maw of the high-street, watching shops spill out before me.

My brother and his girlfriend are sitting in a coffee shop somewhere within that sprawl. Probably the one next to the cinema.  Not wanting to interrupt some romantic middle-of-the-afternoon meet, I instead head to a new place that’s opened in the recent student housing development by the college. It’s directly opposite the angry, pockmarked, cinderblock of a building that is the disused bookshop. I eye up seats through the utterly spotless floor-to-ceiling windows and pick one that has a decent view of the whole place. A plush leather chair pulled up against an ovular table. Perfect for writing and avoiding eye contact from my fellow denizens.

I enter the shop, walk to the counter, and grab a rhubarb & apple sparkling juice. The guy behind the counter has short-cut dusty hair and awesome piercings. He’s wearing a little chain with a silver boot hanging on it and I really want to ask what it’s about but instead I ask for an apple shortcake. He hesitates for a second, comes around the counter to my side and starts looking at the cakes. He can’t find the pastry and I start to think I’ve conjured it up and I’ve made a fool of myself in front of this really nice guy. But then I see it and point it out to him. He apologises profusely and I do as well. He calls the cash machine a queen, and I laugh, but I’m so conscious of how awkward I must seem. I pay for my stuff and dash away to my seat.

I can hear the clicking of a uni student’s acrylic nails on a MacBook.  

I start to worry if this coffee shop experience is too similar to the example prompt on the Betts post. I shakily sit and start to type stuff and I’ve gotten to this point, and I don’t really know what my observations are, really. I’m just sort of stream-of-consciousing this shit and no one wants to read that. The couple who I sat next to have gotten up and left and I try to recall their conversation.

Okay, nothing.

It’s hard to snoop on people, and I’ve been listening to music this whole time so that probably (definitely) hasn’t helped.

No, no I can do this.

He was talking to her about this person that he works with who always sits too close to him, or something to that effect. He had to take a call and she looked out the window, which I thought was funny because most people these days whip their phones out if they have to wait. But she looked out the window. At the empty road and the beaten-up, cherry red ROAD CLOSED sign lying by a grassy verge smattered with dandelions. Maybe she was doing this contest. Unlikely but you know. If she is, then hi! Also sorry if I got the conversation topic wrong. Also, doubly sorry if he was your best friend or cousin or something. I assumed y’all were a couple but like then again that was a random assumption based on literally no evidence, save for proxemics.

If I was making this as a film, I would first put the camera over the road looking in, to get an extra sense of detachment from the scene occurring within. I'd pan along the window, positioning various characters so they'd all be visible; like a little diorama. Everyone would wear one specific colour each. Just for fun. And for style. We cut to an extreme close-up of laté art slowly dissolving into a mist of milk as a manicured hand stirs a teaspoon around the deep, bowl-like, earthen coffee cups this shop uses. Smoke drifts from a barely smoked cigarette sitting neatly in a glass ashtray. A folded newspaper sits in the centre of the table. We pan from this up to the face of our protagonist; an elegant elderly woman with silicone-framed glasses and a charcoal pinstriped suit. A handbag rests on her lap. Within it is, oh, I don't know, classified documents. Of course, there's no smoking in this cafe, and probably no documents in that handbag. She finishes her coffee and leaves, wearing not a sleek grey suit but a frumpy off-white cardigan.

The only others in the shop now are two people on their computers, same as me. I’m on the other side of the place to them and I’m stealing glances over whenever I can. One of them has stickers all over her Mac and I wish I could get a better look cause there looks to be a trans flag over the Apple symbol, but it could just be my colour blindness playing up again like it did earlier when I was looking at these 80s Japanese robots of my childhood. It turns out one of them was, like, green, not blue. Honestly eyes, why have you deceived me so?

The other computer person gets up and leaves the shop, glancing back at the MacBook girl, something left unsaid lingers in the air between them, static and tangible. She gets up and leaves a few minutes later, shrugging on a pink parka. I should probably go soon too. One fleeting glance at the counter to catch the eye of the barista, but he’s gone, eddying away in the wind of missed opportunities, down and down till he becomes just another face among many.

Home now. The sun sunk as I rose up the hill, casting longer and longer shadows. My original plan for this wasn’t to be the world’s most awkward observer but instead, to call back on memories of last week. I had sat down in my rocking chair, ready to sequester myself away in the observations of a past version of me, one who had done the humorous and dichotomic thing of paying attention in Bristol University’s art gallery, but not the art. As of last Wednesday, I had noted everything from this gallery that had caught my interest, save the paintings and sculptures that adorned the walls. A strangely chipped bit of marble flooring, the milk-bottle glasses of a janitor cleaning a statue, the vivid way a teacher described Monet's paintings to his bored-looking gaggle of field trip kids. But when I tried to go more in-depth, to construct a narrative from these lot, I found I couldn’t. As much as I wanted to stipulate if the janitor was half-blind from a car accident, or if the teacher had tried and failed to be a painter, I found I couldn’t flesh these out. I wanted something fresh, something more tangible.

And so I left that Bristol Wednesday behind and forged forward, an expedition to write in real-time. I think the only thing this has really made me attentive towards is my own inner monologue, and my tendency to overthink things. Which is not too dreadfully interesting for you wonderful Tumblr people (Tumblrians?). Maybe I've wasted an hour of my life jotting random things down. Maybe it's helped me put things into perspective.

Addendum:

Victorian single-glazing has convinced me to write one more, less utterly prosaic, observation:

The screams of cars, a cacophony of petrol and steel. Jarring, at first. Soon, it'll be background noise. A harsh accompaniment to the soft dawn chorus. A polluting alto to the chattering soprano of birdsong. Great gas-guzzling juggernauts, screeching wasp-like motorbikes, thrumming sleek electric sportscars. A mirror to the sharp call of a red kite, the light twittering of sparrows and the lilting tones of bluejays.

#tumblr writing workshop with betts #week 2: paying attention #creative writing

[monimolimnion]

⭐ for kindred!!

Ask is from the ⭐director's cut ask meme! tysm astri i had so much fun yammering about this \o/ ♡

some general tidbits:

Pess Edgeworth as she is in Kindred has an entire google doc explaining her genotype and phenotype, for what she looks like in the fic, because i am an Insufferable Nerd. here it is you're welcome

Kindred's writing and planning was actually split into 2 google docs; since I had such a big hiatus in the middle, and I have weird feelings about editing a doc if it's sat untouched for a long time (no idea why???) I started another one for [redacted] planning and post-hiatus writing come ch8.

I also had an entire spreadsheet for date and time math because otherwise i could not hold it all in my tiny peanut brain

[SPOILERS AHEAD FOR CHAPTER 8 ONWARDS]

Here's the story of why I made Kindred a casefic ;)

I had the Vibes for Kindred, and the eventual endpoint, in my head very early on. I knew I wanted a slow, soft, slow-burn, very character-focused and driven fic where I could zoom right in on what adopting a dog is actually like, and how that would interplay with Miles' brain and his past, and inflict some character development on him whether he liked it or not. That was beginning and midplot sorted. But the climax and ending worried me - I had a very certain feeling I couldn't do the Whole fic with just Pess' adoption as the inciting incident. This proved true when writing ch7 got very difficult - I was nearing a change in structure but I also sort of just ran out of things to talk about that fell in line with the daily format and mood of the fic. (Besides the Maya call. that's still one of my favourite parts of the entire thing) I couldn't keep going without zooming the fic out in time from day-to-day to likely the whole rest of the disbarment, bc lbr it'd take that long for Mies' adjustment in behaviour to bleed out from his relationship with Pess to his other relationships. And I knew that allowing the action to peter out in this way would probably make the bottom fall out of the end of the fic, when it should really be ratcheting tighter (which is something I'm VERY proud of in how Kindred turned out. plot tension is not something ive been excellent at in the past but I really got the effect I was going for in the end I think). I also had a dangling question I hadn't solved - where did Pess come from? Borzois are hardly common in America OR Japan, let alone Japanifornia, and it's highly unlikely to just trip over one in a shelter. There had to be something else - she'd been put there for a reason, and not by chance. (You can see where this is going).

The turning point: a cricket game.

I am not someone who enjoys Sports. but unfortunately i am Australian, and we are batshit for cricket, so it was on against my will in the background as i noodled on my brainstorming doc. all of a sudden I hear one of the umpires referred to by the commentators and sit bolt upright. "Is his name fucking Rifle?" I ask my dad with pure incredulity. "Yeah," he says, mildly annoyed and not at all realising why that is the coolest shit in the world and I am losing my mind. Turns out the guy has been around forever, actually used to play on the international team, and that's probably old news to anyone who actually follows cricket, but his name is Paul Reiffel and that was the funniest shit in the world to me. I immediately thought ...someone has to write a casefic using that name. ...what if it was me. ......what if kindred turned into a casefic. UH OH

Was scared shitless and not certain on actually doing that but I started planning it anyway, even if a casefic is the opposite of things in writing that I'm actually good at. (Remembering exact details and arranging a crime scene and alibis? amazed i made it through with only a 1 year hiatus. it should have taken me an entire lifetime) Pess being actually involved in the case (spoilers) wasn't in the works from the very start, but it did come into play very early because using that as a way to resolve All the plot threads was just a no-brainer.

extract of the exact moment my brain exploded about that:

#ask #momo talks #spoilers marked bc i know exactly where krissey is up to - NO LOOK KRISSEY

[littlealexhorne]

a story in a few parts:

(very rambly. just about my interaction with Paul that i'll never get over. this account is mostly for myself :') )

so I had a very stressful Monday. mostly school anxiety but I also had some family stuff come up and it was just very overwhelming.

so to take my mind off things I drew my number one, Paul <3

I didn’t expect him to see it, but with the headspace I was in, it would’ve been really nice. So anyways I posted it and tagged him on twitter/insta. I checked instagram one more time before I went to sleep to see that he had seen my art, but not liked/interacted with it. And I can’t explain why but y’all it made me so sad. I really got in my own head about Paul hating me, or that he’d block me if I tagged him in stuff too often.

I went to sleep sad and I honestly felt horrible all of Tuesday >.< just really quite anxious and depressed for all of the dumbest reasons.

Wednesday I was feeling better, and I decided I’d try my hand at some Guy Montgomery art. Firstly because I adore him, but also selfishly because I knew I had a better chance at getting a Guy notice than a Paul one and I really needed a W.

As I somewhat expected, Guy saw it and had a nice response. ("You know what they say Ana ..? Thank you!") and shared it on insta and twitter. That was exactly the mood boost I was looking for and I was just vibing for the next several hours. But then. ... But then....

I was just about to go to sleep. It was past 2am and I had an exam the next morning. BUT THEN HE SHOWED UP IN MY NOTIFICATIONS.

He responded to the anxiety art I made with perhaps the sweetest message possible.

And I thought that was it. I was already soo fucking happy with this it honestly made my night. But then he kept liking my posts. He liked all the shit I had been tagging him in over the past month aaaaahhh. AND HE responded to the Clouston Bridge fanart I made, even calling it his favourite. Considering it's my twitter namesake, this song is so so dear to me and it means so much that he likes this one.

Anyways that is all. I adore Paul Williams with my whole entire heart and I hope I get to meet him one day <33

#my number one #my anthony bennett #WHEN I TELL U I CRIED SM #I FELT LIKE I WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK #paulposting #ana talks britcom

[dkettchen]

We just had the flashback to Law’s backstory and I am still not over the fact that horrible baby man Used To Be Hot

#or that the donquixote brothers are just the paul brothers if one of them was a good man #one piece #THESE GO HERE NOW WHILE I'M OFF TWITTER #anyone who followed me within the last year or two and didn't sign up for this I am so sorry x'D #can you believe to learn that I am 710 eps into this show after almost a year since I started #I tried to just not post my live tweeting over the last week but alas feelings need to beEXPRESSED #I hope y'all enjoy I'm also drawing more thirsty zoro art as we speak #also I was having some bad mental health times because of trauma I appear to have acquired over the past however many years #and the realisation that that is a thing and having a negative impact on me and feeling a bit hopeless about Living With That now #(I looked into getting into therapy again meanwhile also so noone worry) #and Law Doffy & Corazon's backstories were like OH DID SOMEONE SAY TRAUMA??? #WE GOT YOU #look at these broken dumbasses surviving for many years after their trauma as more or less functionning human beings #which was strangely reassuring? #one piece has two moods: silly fucking nonsense and real fucking shit #and that might be my favourite thing about it

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Music Tag Music Tag Music Tag

Who was your first favourite artist? I actually spent most of my childhood mostly casually into like Disney stars and random other stuff I picked up on, because I was staunchly opposed to (and didn't know how to) illegally download music. So I was kind of casual about individual artists until my early teens really. But we'll go with the band Scissor Sisters.

Who are your current favourite artists? Taylor Swift <333 and the Beatles

Are you into musicals? Which ones?/Why not? Y E S, I love musicals. My top three are Hadestown, Great Comet and Les Mis and also I adore the musical TV show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, think it's a hilarious and relatable show with great music.

Are there songs you consider so special you only listen to them very rarely? Last Kiss by Taylor Swift, She Used To Be Mine from Waitress

What's your preferred way of listening to music? (time of day, medium, situation) Headphones, walking briskly around my house when I'm alone at home lmao.

What would you say is the most niche music you listen to? Probably the songs from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and do the Bad Lip Reading Star Wars songs count? Also Mika's 2010s music is pretty niche outside europe I think.

What's your favourite music related movie/TV show that's not a musical? Coco (2017), one of my absolute favourite Pixar movies. Just gorgeous and utilizes music so smartly.

Albums or playlists? Post-January 2020 I'm a real album girl. But I love making playlists too I just barely actually use them lol.

Favourite albums? folklore & evermore (2020), Rubber Soul (1965), Revolver (1966), Bad Blood (2013), Punisher (2020)

Is there an artist you're trying to get into? All the Beatle solo careers, just taking a while with it

Whose music do you find overhyped? Rina Sawayama, honestly. She's good but I don't get what all the fuss is.

What's an underrated song? I HATE EVERYBODY is Halsey's best song, and I'm tired of pretending it's not. Also Treacherous and You Won't See Me.

What's a thing a bunch of songs do that you love every time? Changing from major to minor or vice versa. Also implying a rhyme without actually singing the rhyme.

What song is better acoustic? mirrorball (2020) <3

What's the worst song of all time? Cotton-Eyed Joe

Do you put individual songs on repeat? If so, for how long and how often? Rarely, and when I do, I don't get past about four or five repeats. My one exception is once in 2013 I listened to Do I Wanna Know for about an hour. No idea what compelled me.

Do you make your own playlists? If so, what's your most entertaining playlist title? I do, it's a passtime. The best ones are "World's going to shit but the music's lit" and it's all ~political songs, "songs to have a breakdown to", "Paul and Taylor Share A Songwriting Kinship, OK?" and "Lennon-McCartney-Godhead", which is only songs they collaborated on a lot (I really like the word "Godhead" okay?)

Headphones or earbuds? Headphones baby. Go bulky or go home.

Do you always sing the lead vocal or do you harmonize sometimes? If you harmonize, do you ever invent your own harmony? I love coming up with new harmonies for songs. There are certain songs where I actually automatically sing the harmony I added instead!

A music confession I sing out loud while walking around outside, even in crowds sometimes. Manic pixie dream girl moment. Also I genuinely love the 2012 Les Mis movie and don't understand 80% of the hate it gets.

No pressure tagging: @monkberrymoon-delight, @harrisonbridgers, @monkberries, @muzaktomyears, @a-queen-of-the-clouds, @imaybeasleep, @mollyboughtthering, @emometalhead, @itwouldbel7, @damapajaro and anyone else that wants to join in!!! I just love music ahhhh!!!

#tag games #<3<3<3<3 #hope this is fun for you guys cause i had fun coming up with it :)

[amphtaminedreams]

Paris Haute Couture Week S/S 2020 Plus a Little Jacquemus: Okay, Dior DID Suck (Part 1/2)

Hi to anyone reading,

Oh my god. I completely forgot there was also 2 haute couture weeks. I FEEL SO OVERWHELMED. Here I was getting all geared up for the F/W 2020 shows and suddenly it’s Jean Paul Gaultier’s last show and everybody’s (predictably) buzzing about the Jacquemus collection. I can’t keep up. But Haute Couture week is a lot less intense than the RTW shows so I suppose I should be enjoying this relative peace whilst I can. 

I remember my last post about Haute Couture week opened with me defending Maria Grazia from the wrath of the internet; if Jacquemus is social media’s Lord and Saviour, this woman is the Antichrist. She’s Michael Langdon minus the dramatic flair. But the thing is, I genuinely really liked the Dior collection last time. Maybe because I was newer to the discipline of scouring Vogue Runway, but the lack of originality didn’t bother me; it was still something I’d die to wear, gothic yet delicate and relevant for 2019. 

That being said, this time round, I have to open by doing the exact opposite and concurring: this time round, Dior was in fact, utter shit.

I feel mean saying it but...really? These were the slightly more salvageable outfits and my favourite of the bunch, and to be honest they don’t really capture the full extent of how outdated this collection was to me. I know that the concept behind the show was this idea of the divine feminine but Greek Goddess has been done SO many times. If you’re gonna go down that route, you have to bring something new, elevate it in some way. It can’t be THIS generic.

I can’t believe that in 2020 we’re really seeing plaited hairbands. The individual dresses are basic, but not so much the problem as the styling; they look like outfits I would’ve put together back in 2012. That’s not an exaggeration. I think even 2013 me would appreciate that you need to make things a little twisty. 

The colour scheme is pretty, don’t get me wrong, and I like the cowl necks-the white dresses are the highlights. I think the concept of this collection was conceived with all the best intentions. But as a designer you need to take risks and I don’t see one single risk here; there isn’t anything that wouldn’t already be sold in your local H&M. Dior is such an established brand, Maria Grazia has room to do whatever she wants. And yet it just comes across like she’s out of ideas. 

You’ve got to look at a designer like Ulyana Sergeenko:

When I say elevated (but still in the vein of wearable), I mean something like this. To be completely honest, I hadn’t heard of Ulyana Sergeenko until I saw shots of this show on Twitter. But what a perfect mix of kitsch and glamour. The influences are clear: Priscilla Presley, Barbie, Jackie O, Valley of the Dolls, the rich stay-at-home wife of the 60s, the Alessandra Rich/Scream Queens-esque sorority girl, Paris fucking Hilton. It’s exaggerated and it’s tongue in cheek with total grounds to call it trashy-there’s a corset resembling a Benjamin Franklin, ffs-but it’s all done with a wink and a nudge. And in all honesty, I just think it’s beautiful. Can you imagine Frances O’Sullivan (@Beautyspock on IG) in one of these looks? It would be worthy of the Rose McGowan cultural reset meme ten times over.

Everything is feline, from the very literal cat silhouettes and cat headed boa, to the makeup and the hair clips. It reminds me of the last RTW Ralph and Russo show but with even more attention to detail. And look at the STAGE. If this collection were a song, it’d be Disco Tits by Tove Lo. And no, I’m not just saying that because one of the dresses actually does feature a (cat shaped) disco tit. Like these are the clothes I dreamed of putting my Bratz dolls, and for null I’m sure, myself in. Absolute perfection. Plus, I’ve loved Coco Rocha since she was on The Face with Naomi Campbell; she is, after all, to thank for the iconic “check your lipstick before you come for me” line. Girl is really the martyr for all purple lipstick lovers, cut down in her prime by a pissed-off Naomi. 

Onto Alexandre Vauthier, which I also really liked. An interesting yet effortless blend of the old and the new, the masculine and the feminine, if I could sum this collection up in one word, it would be cool. I know, it’s not the most descriptive, but it pretty much sums up how I feel; I’m not AS gassed about it as I am about Ulyana Sergeenko or this season’s Elie Saab (wait for it), but it’s a fresh offering, even if the styles aren’t the most groundbreaking. Stand outs for me are the almost petticoat like, debutante dresses which have Elle Fanning’s name written all over them.

I was hard pressed to find favourites in the Armani Privé collection if I’m honest. I’m not saying it was awful, all I know is that it just isn’t my style. It’s all a bit TOO tailored for my liking, and kinda reminds me of the Zara pantsuits my Spanish teacher used to wear. In other words, I find it to be a bit dowdy. On a positive note, the colours, fabrics, and beading are all stunning, so I see that a lot of craftsmanship clearly went into it; I think my biggest issue is the styling and the shapes (or lack of) on show. I’m very much getting a 20s, flapper vibe and whilst that’s an era that fascinates me and that I appreciate was cutting-edge at the time, I’ve yet to see it be bought into the 21st century in a way that doesn’t look stiff or costume-y. 

Then there’s Azzaro. At the complete opposite end of the scale to Armani, it doesn’t look expensive, which I’m sure isn’t something any designer previewing their collection at haute couture week is striving for. BUT that being said, I’d be much more likely to wear something from this collection than I would from Armani Privé. I mean, I have no shot at ever wearing either but ya get me. 

Whilst I’m sure it or something similar has been done before, the mesh diamanté dress is exquisite and I’m a huge fan of the stacked gem chokers and belts. The whole collection looks like something a London socialite who parties by night but (deep breath in) plays in a shitty band so fancies herself a bit of a rockstar by day would wear (exhale) and as much as that doesn’t sound like a compliment, I mean it as one. I’m talking about the kind of person you’d see smoking outside a bar and think “I wish I was them but I am potato lol”. I mean, as far as faux fur and fedoras are concerned, I’m gonna find it hard to completely slate a collection so this is pretty up my alley.

Chanel was a huge step up from their last RTW collection, imo, and probably on par with their last haute couture offering. It’s that same blend of preppy Chanel detailing (i.e the exaggerated collars, the checks and the lace) and practicality, only even more austere this time round.

It’s funny because when I looked back on original notes on this collection, before I’d even done any research into the context, I saw that one of the things I’d written was “giving me Victorian orphanage madame” as well as “something something Amish” and I wasn’t THAT far off base. The collection is, after all, supposed to be a tribute to the nuns who raised Coco Chanel at the beginning of the century in an Abbey-cum-orphanage. This makes me really happy; I know not everyone’s a fan of Virginie Viard’s nods back to the past and the brand’s origins but as a history nerd, I definitely am. 

There’s also definitely a lot of things that can be translated into high street trends here: the combination of decorative white socks and black shoes is something I’ve seen making a comeback already, tulle is always a winner (I actually don’t mind it as an overlay, I think it’s pretty, sue me) and I have no doubt we’ll be seeing these dramatic collars creeping back onto tops and jumpers throughout the year. It’s been a while since they were a thing anyway and we all know how cyclical fashion is.

Another high note for Elie Saab this haute couture season; if I was an expressive person, I probably would’ve audibly gasped as I looked through this collection. It is SO FUCKING MAGNIFICENT. The colour scheme, the baroque prints, the floral sequinned embroidery, these are Cinderella style ballgowns taken to the next level. Elie Saab really is the definition of opulence and I’m not at all mad about it. Please, somebody put Lana Del Rey in one of these, PLEASE. Remind her how much of a princess she is and get her out of those “soccer mom” looks.

I’m so stuck between this collection and Ulyana Sergeenko as my favourite, and the latter might just pip the other to the post, purely because of the staging and extravagance of the presentation itself. 

Georges Hobeika was predictably phenomenal. Like, I’m not going to lie, I am easily won over by some sequins and tulle, I’ve never claimed any different, and if you can expect that from anyone, it’s this guy (ignore that phrasing making me sound like his proud mother). The colour scheme is very spring appropriate and so is the 3D flower detailing, and if there’s anything good to take from Ascot and English royal weddings, Georges Hobeika knows it’s the hats.

It was another strong year for Givenchy too:

Though Claire Waight Keller is also fond of the extravagant details along the lines of feather and tulle, it’s always done in a more organic way; the details are always more reminiscent of nature, something created by accident, than they are suggestive of painstaking attention to detail, the image of someone hunched over a dress beading for hours on end à la Georges Hobeika or Elie Saab. That is not a bad thing at all; if anything, it makes Givenchy more interesting to study and gives you more to think about. Sometimes a dress takes you a bit longer to fully appreciate, but I’d say that only lends to its memorability. This year’s willowy, billowing, and at times coral-esque structures  remind me of something I can see being worn down an Iris Van Herpen runway, set apart by that delicate Givenchy finesse. And side not: I know this post is to talk about the clothes, not the models, but I got super excited over seeing Sora Choi and Adut Akech walk too. 

Guo Pei is always fun to look at. I mean, this collection is giving me half Matryoshka dolls, half It’s A Small World Christmas edition and I can’t hate on that. 

And then there’s Iris Van Herpen, who knocked it out of the park once again. At this point, I wouldn’t expect anything less. Every outfit looks like something that could be exhibited in the Tate Modern (I know, it’s a basic opinion, but it’s true: TATE MODERN IS THE BEST MUSEUM IN LONDON), or honestly, the Design Museum, just for the genius that must go into the way these dresses move. Honestly, if I can see a goddess wearing anything, it’s more one of these looks than anything in the Dior collection. Like wife of Poseidon or something; I know it’s not very feminist of me to not know the Greek Goddess of the sea’s name but I only know who Poseidon is because I was a Percy Jackson fan back in the day so let me live.

It’s not like the whole under-the-sea theme is particularly new, Zimmerman did something similar last RTW (I think? Correct me if I’m wrong), but these constructions could’ve grown out of the sea bed themselves, which is more of an original take than “oo, blue and white and frothy hemlines!”. Additionally, we’ve got these dresses with the overlapping almost plaited fabric that are-we’re sticking with the goddess references here-fit for Persephone ruling over hell. As for the Grudge-looking dress (fourth down, far left), I could be reaching, but is anyone else seeing that as a nod to the oil spills polluting our oceans? Because that would just add yet another layer to this collection. 

Regardless, it’s all impeccable and I’m in love. Iris Van Herpen as a MET Gala theme. Make it happen.

Anyway, to end on a high note, that’s it for this post! 

Sorry it’s such a sudden cut-off but Jean Paul Gaultier was due to be my second to last to review and due to it being the final show, there’s an onslaught of photos that would not fit with what’s already in this post. Plus, I’d rather start a post with Jacquemus then end it as I feel like there’s a lot of hype around his collections online right now so 1). it’s clickbait (for what, I do not know, as I’m not exactly making any money off this blog, just losing my sanity as it transpires when Tumblr accidentally terminated it earlier today and I had a minor breakdown) and 2). this Steve Buscemi meme is the most accurate representation of only 21 year old me to grace the internet:

I will aim to post part 2/2 in the next week, including JPG, as I just mentioned, the Jacquemus co-ed show, Margiela, Valentino and more, and as always, thank you for anyone who read until the end! You are an angel:-)

Lauren x

#haute couture #haute couture week #pfw #paris fashion week #paris #fashion #fashion week #designer #jacquemus #dior #style #review #iris van herpen #guo pei #givenchy #elie saab #sequins #pretty #georges hobeika #chanel #pastels #armani

[thecoleopterawithana]

PAUL: I certainly think that was true. I certainly think John was the quickest wit. There was no doubt about that, no contest. That was definitely true. And we did covet his respect, his attention and stuff. I think, having said that, I wouldn’t mind betting he coveted ours. You know, we don’t think of that; you never know. I just know what I felt, I don’t know what he felt. And John was not very forthcoming about what he felt, he was quite a private person. And you’d only ever see it in tiny little instances, that he— that he— I remember once— One of the things I remember about John is silly little things. You don’t remember all the great big moments, they just went by in a flash. You know, meeting the queen, “Hi there!” [swoosh] gone! But you remember stupid little things. 

I remember kind of arguing once about something musical or something, and I remember John kind of just taking his glasses down and saying, “It’s only me.” And putting them back up again. 

So maybe he did have similar feelings towards us that we had to him. But he just didn’t make it, perhaps, as obvious. But we were Lennon fans, definitely, you know. He was a great guy…

— Paul McCartney, interviewed by Bob Costa (1991).

-

I wrote Here Today about John. It’s just a song saying, you know, ‘If you were here today you’d probably say what I’m doing is a load of crap. But you wouldn’t mean it, cos you like me really, I know.’ It’s one of those ‘Come out from behind your glasses, look at me,’ things. It was a love song, really, not to John but a love song about John, about my relationship with him.

— Paul McCartney, interviewed in 1989. In Paul Du Noyer’s Conversations with McCartney (2015).

-

One of my great memories of John is from when we were having some argument. I was disagreeing and we were calling each other names. We let it settle for a second and then he lowered his glasses and he said: “It’s only me.” And then he put his glasses back on again. To me, that was John. Those were the moments when I actually saw him without the facade, the armour, which I loved as well, like anyone else. It was a beautiful suit of armour. But it was wonderful when he let the visor down and you’d just see the John Lennon that he was frightened to reveal to the world. 

— Paul McCartney, interviewed in 1997. In Richard White’s Come Together: Lennon and McCartney in the Seventies (2016).

-

PAUL: No matter what’s happened, even though John’s dead, I don’t feel like we are ever gonna be apart. I think we’re a part of each other’s lives, we’re a part of each other’s karma, man! And, you know, there’s something kind of deeper than all the business troubles we went through. They were real enough! But… nah, I think through all of that stuff, there was always the John who would put down his glasses and he’d say: “It’s only me.” And that was it, I’d know what he meant! ‘Ya, it’s only Johnny! It’s only Lennon, he’s only having a laugh with us, it’s just a joke, really.’ There was always that feeling that at the bottom of things, no matter how bad it got — fights, sort of slanging matches, or anything — we still kinda liked each other. [Here Today starts playing].

-

Sir Paul told the [Radio Times] magazine that Lennon's image was "seriously flawed" because "he was not the hard, mad man that people think he was."

"He was a very soft-centred guy and we had a lot more in common than people think," he said.

"His favourite song when we were kids was Little White Lies, which was very sentimental. It was a smoochy old standard that his mum liked.

"Whatever bad things John said about me, he would also slip his glasses down to the end of his nose and say, 'I love you'. That's really what I hold on to. That's what I believe. The rest is showing off."

— In The Telegraph (25 August 2009).

-

No Words (1973): You say that love is everything / And what we need the most of / I wish you knew, that's just how true / My love was. [...] You want to turn your head away / And someone's thinking of you / I wish you'd see, it's only me, / I love you.

-

[This post was both spurred on by and is a gift to the wonderful @lastpielord. If anyone knows of more instances in which Paul told the “It’s only me” anecdote, please let me know. Note also George’s dynamic with John’s visor glasses.]

John was determined to be open and friendly. George, however, seemed edgy, and all of his replies were curt and had a hostile edge to them. [...] Then George’s anger really burst forth. “Where were you when I needed you!” he snapped. It was the first of a series of explosions, each of them followed by moments of tense silence. “I did everything you said. But you weren’t there,” he repeated. “You always knew how to reach me,” John would reply evenly to each of these outbursts. [...] George said that repeatedly in the past he had sung what John wanted him to sing, said what John wanted him to say. Because John wanted it, George had gone along with the decision to go with Allen Klein. In the nearly four years since, John had virtually ignored him, a fact that pained George deeply. George’s voice grew even more harsh as he blasted John for his sudden appearance, as if out of nowhere, to offer an evening’s worth of help. Yet again George said furiously, “I did everything you said, but you weren’t there.” Suddenly he leveled his gaze at John. “You know, John,” he snarled, “I want to see your eyes. I can’t see you eyes.” John was wearing his sunglasses. He reached up and quickly took them off and put on his regular glasses. He was willing to do anything to pacify George. But the gesture was not enough. It looked as though George was going to slap John. “I still can’t see your eyes.” Suddenly he reached over, yanked John’s glasses from his face, and dashed them to the floor. His face was a mask of fury and contempt; I had never seen an angrier man. George’s anger even paralyzed John. I knew how panicky John became when he could not see. I expected him to jump up and hit George. I was terrified that George might be satisfied only by a fistfight. Yet, miraculously, John stayed calm. There was long silence. Then George returned to the basic them of his anger, but I could see the worse moment had passed. Finally, well after midnight, it all wound down. John and I were bone weary, and we took a suite right there at the Plaza. When we were alone John told me, “I saw George goin’ through pain and I know what pain is about. So I let him do it. I’ll go out and help him or whatever it is he wants me to do. If he wants me to go out on stage, I will.”

— In May Pang’s Loving John (1983).

-

We had a business meeting to break up The Beatles [...] We all flew in to New York specially. George came off his disastrous tour, Ring of flew in and we were at the Plaza for the big final settlement meeting. John was half a mile away at the Dakota and he sent a balloon over with a note that said ‘Listen to this balloon.’ I mean, you’ve got to be pretty cool to handle that kind of stuff. George blew his cool and rang him up: ’You fucking maniac!! You take your fucking dark glasses off and come and look at us, man!!’ and gave him a whole load of that shit.

— Paul McCartney, interviewed by Chris Salewicz (October 1986).

#it's only me #I love you #'i love you' #No Words #Here Today #For you were in my song #little white lies #That bluffy thing he does #He was a real soft sweetie #But I could never speak my mind #Come on baby did ya...? #You take your fucking dark glasses off and come and look at us!! #John's glasses #come out from behind your glasses look at me #the person i actually picked as my partner #my stuff #video #quote

[unibrowzz]

Mod (finally) reviews all 67 winners of the Eurovision Song Contest Part II: The 1960s

Welcome back! To this...

Whatever you wanna call it, I can barely call half of these “reviews” but ANYWAYS.

The 60s are. Mid-table. Not a tremendously bad decade by all means, but they’re also the only decade to have three songs in my “would refuse to listen to” category, which is an achievement. 

I’m sure you can all guess at least two of those songs by now!

Without further ado, let’s move on to what I think of the winning entries from the 60s.

1960: Tom Pillibi

Country: France 

Artist: Jacqueline Boyer

Language: French

Thoughts: Whenever I was younger and enjoyed singing, I was frequently told that I had a "nasally" voice. I never knew what this meant, and I rarely heard my own voice to hear what it meant. Since people told me I had a nice voice, I continued to sing without fixing it. But now I'm older and know a tiny bit more about music, I can finally hear what they meant. Jaqueline here had a very nasally voice and a very high song to go with it. You can hear the notes being directed through her nose and sinuses rather than up from her diaphragm and mouth, resulting in a voice which sounds impressively high… but also very thin and flimsy. There's no resonance or depth to these notes, she sounds like a kid half her age trying to sing. Maybe that's what she was told to do, but given how this song is about a girl telling us about the shit her cheeky boyfriend tells her, I'd like to think not. Then again, this IS the 60s.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? United Kingdom- Bryan Johnson- “Looking High, high, high”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 54th

1961: Nous les Amoureux

Country: Luxembourg

Artist: Jean-Claude Pascale

Language: French

Thoughts: I know this song didn’t compete for France, but have you ever heard a more aggressively French song than this? This is one of the most sultry, seductive songs in this lineup; like it just feels like the song itself is trying to seduce me and is going to offer me a glass of fine red wine before leading me to a candlelit bedroom and a four-post bed with rose petals scattered across it or some shit. That or it's gonna blow a long stream of cigarette smoke right into my face. One or the other. Going back on track, I like this song. Granted I wouldn’t call it a favourite or anything, but it’s still a Hell of a lot more likeable than most of the other 60s winners, and Hell, you could even argue this one is a lot more admirable given how the lyrics of the song are intended for a male lover of the singer’s. Which, for the early 60s, makes this a bigger deal than it would be nowadays. The singing is buttery smooth, and the song itself has a bit of a skip to it. It’s a very appealing song, and one I appreciate just a little bit more than the other songs from the 60s.

Is this my personal winner for this year? 50/50

If no, what is? France- Jean-Paul Mauric- “Printemps, avril carillon”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 26th

1962: Un Premier Amour 

Country: France

Artist: Isabelle Aubret

Language: French (Translation: “A First Love”)

Thoughts: You know whenever you play a CD too much and it eventually becomes all scratched and worn down so whenever you play it it skips back to the same part over and over again before unsticking to play a bit more of the song, but keeps getting stuck over and over? Yeah, imagine a whole song like that. This song just drones on, with no charisma or vocal animation to break up the monotony. I don’t even think the rule “well it was the 60s” applies, since this isn’t really a song that needs flashy setpieces, costuming, dancing or anything; it just needs a charismatic singer. And, unfortunately, Aubret just isn’t one, in my opinion.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? United Kingdom- Ronnie Carroll- "Ring-a-Ding Girl"

Personal ranking (out of 67):  62nd

1963: Dansevise

Country: Denmark

Artist: Grete and Jørgen Ingmann

Language: Danish

Thoughts: Oh fucking finally, something unique for once. Which is very surprising because, from what I've seen and heard, the early contests weren't all that kind to songs which didn’t fit a certain criteria. If anything, most songs which came off as being unique with different sounds, instruments, and moods compared to the rest of their years ended up pulling up the rear in last place, more often than not with nil points. So it's nice to see a song which not only has unique elements to it (ie, a brooding sultry guitar accompaniment and a steady sweeping tempo), but is also in a stereotypically "ugly" language do well this early on.  Getting back on track, this is one of those songs I find tends to be a cult favourite, especially amongst vintage and retro fans. And why wouldn't it be? It's a breath of fresh air in an era where so many songs sounded exactly the same, just in a different language. This is one of the few fan favourite winners where I can see the appeal myself.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67): 27th

1964: Non ho l’Eta

Country: Italy

Artist: Gigliola Cinquetti

Italian: (Translation: “I’m not old enough”)

Thoughts: If that title isn’t off-putting enough, then I don’t know what is. You’re all probably well aware of this right now, but I don’t like this song. At all. Everything about it just makes me feel creeped out and kinda dirty every time I hear it, which is a shame because the melody on its own is very pretty. It’s the song equivalent of flicking through re-runs of Top of the Pops and landing on a segment where Jimmy Saville is hosting; it just sends a disgusted shiver down my spine and I have to turn it off as quickly as possible.  Which, given the lyrics of this song, is understandable. Think about it; you’ve got this visibly nervous, very young, still-legally-a-child-in-most-countries teenager, singing about how she “isn’t old enough” to be in a relationship with someone who seems to be older than she is. Maybe it’s just because I don’t speak any Italian, and the meaning is all semantic and context based, but this is my personal opinion at the end of the day, and, unfortunately, these lyrics just come off as really creepy to me. This song reminds me a lot of the song “Baby, it’s Cold Outside”, in that the lyrics used to be totally innocent and sweet, but to a modern listener come off as shockingly creepy and off-putting, and you’re not sure if it’s down to a change in slang and colloquialisms or if the past really was that messed up. Just like how in "Baby it's Cold Outside", a line asking "does this contain alcohol" now sounds like "have you spiked this with something", what was once “I’m too young and naïve to be in a serious committed relationship” now comes off as “I’m underaged, please leave me alone”. Doesn’t help that Cinquetti was underaged, hated the song, didn’t want to perform, and only showed up because she was forced to by a pushy manager. Which, for the 60s, was par for the course.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Germany- Nora Nova- "Man Gewöhnt sich zu Schnell an das Schöne"

Personal ranking (out of 67):  66th

1965: Poupée du Cire, Poupée du Son

Country: Luxembourg

Artist: France Gall

Language: French (Translation: “Wax doll, stuffed doll”)

Thoughts: And now we come to Non ho L’eta’s ugly little sister in that, just like with that song, there’s a weirdly sinister edge to this one that I just can’t shake off. My French isn’t fantastic, admittedly, but every line of this song seems like it has another, less innocent meaning. Like the whole song is one big double entendre. Which, given how this was written by Serge “I made a 16 year old sing about blowing dicks when she thought she was singing about lollipops” Gainsborg, wouldn’t surprise me. Dodgy lyrics aside, this song is just… terrible. Songs which repeat the same motif over and over are a dime a dozen in older Eurovision, though most of them at least spice it up with a key change, adding more instruments to the instrumental, or even just having a nice melody. This? Is just an uncharismatic, uninterested teenager barking the same few notes over and over again ad nauseum. I know it was the 60s and that the contest was way more restrictive in how songs could be performed, but there’s just… no enthusiasm or animation or anything to make this charming or remotely enjoyable. It’s just shouty, unpleasant, and lacking any semblance of charisma. And I don't care if it's "important", it fucking sucks and we deserved a better song as our “first uptempo winner” of the contest.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? The Netherlands- Conny Vandenbos- “‘t is Genoeg”

Personal ranking (out of 67):  67th

1966- Merci, Chérie

Country:  Austria

Artist: Udo Jurgens

Language: German (Translation: “Thank you, my dear”)

Thoughts: I’m so conflicted on this song. It’s very beautiful, emotional, dramatic... BUT. I just find it so forgettable, I’m sorry. I’m struggling to even talk about it right now. Do you know how long it took me to even finish this mini review? Too damn long. I forgot all about this song mid way through it. So at the recommendation of a friend I put this one on so I could review it whilst it plays and… it’s just a very sleepy song. Udo Jurgens is a good singer, I won’t deny that, but, God, he sounds like he’s nodding off as he sings. The first minute and a half of this song sounds like one big yawn. And that’s over half the song wasted just building to a climax, since I don’t think this song has a chorus, and for a song this short and slow I just don’t think it’s wise to put your climax right in the middle. I feel it would be better if it had two climactic parts or just put the climax right at the end of the song so the whole song is spent building that suspense. Shoving it smack in the middle of the song just makes it feel shorter. Also the fact it’s a piano song reminds me of Non ho l’eta and I don’t need to repeat myself to remind you that’s a bad thing, so, moving on.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Italy- Domenico Modugno- “Dio, come ti amo”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 45th

1967: Puppet on a String

Country: United Kingdom

Artist: Sandie Shaw

Language: English

Thoughts: You know, I was pretty shocked to find out this song is a Eurovision song. Partially because I didn’t realise just how old Eurovision actually is, and partially because as somebody who grew up in Britain in the 2000s, I was just bred to believe the UK is inherently shit, has never won ever, and is incapable of sending songs people actually cherish and remember. But that’s a rant for another day. Anyways, this is the song Poupée du Cire wishes it was. It’s charming, it’s bouncy, it skips along so merrily you forget how the lyrics have aged about as well as a pint of milk left out in the sun for too long.  Then again, I think the lyrics were outdated even back then. I suppose what sets this song aside from the other “60s entries with sexist lyrics sung by young women who didn’t want to be there” is that Shaw is a damn good performer, and hides her disdain expertly. If she wasn’t so vocal about how much she hates this song, you’d swear she loves it, her performance is that charming.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Eh

If no, what is? Portugal- Eduardo Nascimento- “O vento mudou”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 24th

1968: La la la

Country: Spain

Artist: Massiel

Language: Spanish

Thoughts: And the award for most creatively bankrupt name goes to…  Granted, 1968 was one of the dreariest years I’ve watched, so it’s pretty easy to see why a song like this would have done well. That said, this is a really bland song, and even in a year as dull as 1968, I still don’t think this should have won. It’s the kind of song which relies on repeating itself ad nauseum in order to get stuck in your head, and let’s be honest here, that makes it more annoying than anything else. There’s only so many rounds of “la la la” you can take before you feel like rupturing your own eardrums with a knitting needle after all. I don’t really have anything else to say about it, it’s just mildly annoying and not that good.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Norway- Odd Børre- “Stress”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 55th

1969- Four Winners, One Contest

France: Un jour, un enfant

Artist: Frida Boccara

Language: French

Thoughts: Well this is objectively the best of the four songs we have here, and it’s also my favourite winner from France, so at least it has that going for it. Though, let’s be real, I’m hardly a big fan of France’s winners, or French ballads in general. So this is… a big emotional ballad. What more is there to say? It’s big. It’s emotional. The lyrics are nonsense because God help us if we have songs with strong emotions this early on in the contest. Summary: Very nice, but lacking substance. Personal ranking (out of 67):  21st

Spain: Vivo Cantando

Artist: Salome

Language: Spanish

Thoughts: I’m not really what you’d call an advocate for bringing back a live orchestra, but, man, songs like this sure turn me into one. The live version of this song is in a whole other league compared to the studio version; like it is just pure, infectious, Spanish cheer. It’s an absolute blast to listen to, and I strongly recommend checking out the live version before going anywhere near the studio. Summary: Infections, but choose live over studio because it’s better okay. Personal ranking (out of 67):  20th

The Netherlands: Der Troubadour

Artist: Lenny Kuhr

Language: Dutch

Thoughts: I mean.... The guitar solo is impressive at least. I’m sorry, I don’t see the appeal in this one. And I feel so weirdly alone in that stance. So many people I know have this song in their top ten best winners list and I just don’t understand it. I just find it very dull and repetitive, and the singer’s voice is definitely an acquired taste. To me she just sounds like she’s forcing her voice lower, like a reverse falsetto or something. And that’s all I really have to say about this one. I just… don’t  like it that much, or at least not as much as everyone else I know seems to. Summary: I don’t “get” it. Personal ranking (out of 67): 53rd

United Kingdom: Boom-Bang-a-Bang

Artist: Lulu

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the forgotten UK winner. Everybody knows Lulu did this contest once, and everybody knows Boom-bang-a-bang was a British entry, but I swear nobody knows she actually won. Probably because she had the audacity to tie with other countries, the horror. And that’s the most interesting part of this song because it’s otherwise  just kind of alright. It’s very twee and sweet, and if I didn’t know that “bubblegum pop” was a genre reserved for one-hit-wonder nobodies and not decade-defining names then I’d say this is a perfect example of it. It’s just a decent-ish fluffy pop song with very saccharine fluffy lyrics. Standard British Eurovision pap, if you ask me. Summary: Cute, but lacking substance. Personal ranking (out of 67): 25th

So who really should have won in 1969? Either Spain or Monaco if you ask me. That kid had charm.

#eurovision #mod's winner reviews #these took sooooo long to format lmao will draft the 70s and 80s tonight so i can post them on time tomorrow #ESC winners

[megbox]

2020 Year in Review

Previous Posts: (2019) (2018) (2017) (2016) (2015) (2014) (2013) (2012) (2011) 

2020 is a weird year because as the world goes through something collectively extremely traumatic and that is radically changing the structure of our lives, our workplaces, the way we connect socially, our mental health… our response to disease…. SO MUCH ABOUT THE WORLD…. And yet the day-to-day of living in a pandemic is so… mundane. I am privileged enough to have that opinion. I have stayed securely employed and it is privilege for my main reaction to something as intense as this pandemic to be boredom. But really, 2020 was a year of absences. It was a year spent largely alone, in my own company. It was a year that forced me to rest. It was a year that made me feel so terribly lonely but also forced me to get acquainted with myself and enjoy my own company in a new way. And it was a year of running. 

I would also like to thank Connor for making this post happen by reminding me to do it and not to break tradition. 

January & February 

I am combining these months because they were not altogether all that memorable. My resolutions, as I noted on Twitter on January 2, were to 1) Keep running and 2) Learn how to make fresh pasta dough. I can safely say – mission accomplished on both fronts. 

On January 14, I had the privilege of presenting a suicide intervention lecture to students at the medical school where my brother goes. By that time, I’d done a million of these presentations so nerves aren’t really a factor (imagine that! Me, no longer remotely afraid of public speaking…), but this one meant a little extra to me. My brother is so highly accomplished, and I am so proud of him, and I enjoyed having an opportunity to show him what I do and make him proud of me. I wore my favourite dress and did my hair all nice and he described it later as “exceptional.” It was a really, really good feeling. The first weekend of February, Ali and I had planned to go to Jasper. We wanted to go for a hike or two, and get super stoned and go to the planetarium. A huge blizzard hit Alberta just before we were supposed to leave, so we ended up having a staycation here in Calgary. We rented a hotel room, went swimming, drank wine, went to Japanese Village, had drinks in the lounge and then later to a punk rock band roulette night at the Palomino and finally crawled into our giant hotel bed and fell asleep to Remember the Titans… of all movies. It was the kind of night where you simultaneously feel 18 and 35 years old. 

March 

March was when the pandemic really started to become real. I don’t know exactly why, but I did not take the threat of coronavirus very seriously until the last minute. My coworkers would whisper about it in the hallways and I just rolled my eyes. But then, people started deciding they would work from home, the number of us in the office dwindled. The vibe was bad. Nobody could really focus. They held meetings at 8am and 4pm every day just for COVID-19 updates and we all waited with bated breath for them to finally tell us to go home and not come back. I really feel like I didn’t acknowledge the true implications of this virus until we got the official work from home order, and I had to tell my boss, my laptop at home is too old to run this software, I need a work tablet. My first official work from home day was March 23, 2020. I don’t remember much about that time except that the general sense of panic and anxiety made my job a lot busier, and it is hard to do a job like mine from home because it is hard to counsel or reassure clients through anxieties that are hitting you just as hard. I coped with wine, a lot of running, and listening to Ben Gibbard’s afternoon live streams where he would play acoustic versions of Death Cab songs and other covers. He played New Slang by the Shins one night and I burst into tears. I also coped with teaching myself how to make fresh pasta dough, and enjoying what was, at that point in the pandemic, the novelty and fun of Zoom. 

April 

In the absence of being able to have a party for my birthday, I decided to be obnoxious and do a “challenge” on my Instagram story. I asked my friends to record a distance run and/or walked and send it to me as a birthday present. My actual birthday ended up being a cold and windy and pretty miserable day. I ran 12km myself, came back home and watched both Magic Mike and Magic Mike XXL, and then went to my parents’ to celebrate both Scott and I’s birthdays with our family. My friends dropped off presents to my door and drove past my house and honked and I felt very loved and appreciated. I drank a lot of Prosecco with my brother and we listened to Kacey Musgraves. 

It was also in April that I become “acquainted” with my neighborhood running nemesis. I put acquainted in apostrophes because I have never actually spoken to him. On one fateful run in April, I happened to catch up to him on my regular route. This was at the height of the COVID fear and so, while I would usually just pass someone on the sidewalk, I went out into the street. He saw me out of the corner of his eye and SPED UP. WHICH IS SUCH BAD RUNNER ETIQUETTE LIKE DUDE I’M IN THE ROAD LET ME PASS YOU. And then we ended up in this like, all-out 100m-finals-at-the-motherfucking-Olympics sprint challenge when all I was trying to do was go for a leisurely training run. And then I finally passed him, turned a corner and had to like collapse on to my hands and knees to catch my breath. Since then, I see this man running all the time. Sometimes while I am also running, sometimes from my car when I am driving through my neighborhood. He’s like… 16. And we are very competitive with one another. I hope to one day actually say hello to him. I both hate that guy and have to thank him for the motivation. 

I ran my first half marathon on April 13, 2020. I was very hungover because I had stayed up quite late with someone on Zoom the night before on a virtual “first date” that had gone much better than anticipated. I don’t know why but I woke up the next morning in such a good mood that I decided I would go for a long, slow run. I got to 18km and figured, what’s 3.1 more? And so, I did it. The first thing I did upon finishing was call my mom. The second thing I did was contemplate calling an Uber to drive me the 2km left to my house. The other notable thing in April is that Maddy moved back from Australia, begrudgingly and a LOT earlier than planned, because of COVID. 

May

May was kind of a blur. It was the first month of the Great Virtual Race Across Tennessee, which I signed up for while coming off of the high of actually running a half marathon all by myself. The GVRAT was fucking awesome. It was created by Lazarus Lake, of Barkley Marathons fame. The ask is to run 1022.68km between May 1 and August 31, an average of about 8.3km per day. Well, you could run, walk, or hike. This is the actual distance it would take you to cover the state of Tennessee. Myself and about 20,000 other weirdos from around the world signed up for this challenge. I figured I would never get a chance to run in a Lazarus Lake race for real, and being home all the time opened up a lot more opportunity for training. It was one of the very best things I did for myself in 2020. So May involved a lot of running, because I was fresh and naïve and fully intended to be ahead of the curve. I was running about 10-12 per day, sometimes more, and not taking any rest days. 

In between these runs, I spent a lot of time going on long, ambling quarantine walks with Maddy. We would either go for a long walk or she would come over and we would get absolutely hammered in my backyard playing beer pong just to pass the time. We would send snapchats to our exes and make TikToks like 18 year olds. I know we never really said it out loud but having eachother during this time made these months bearable. We were lamenting the loss of a summer, and Maddy’s time in Australia, and all of the expectations we had for ourselves. We were watching our friends in relationships move in together or get closer due to the quarantine. We needed companionship, and stupid things to laugh about, and love, and distraction. And I can genuinely say I would not have gotten through this quarantine period if it weren’t for the nights I spent shooting Pink Whitney and dancing to Party in the USA in my living room with her. 

May 13th was my one year anniversary of working at the university. It felt good to have accomplished so many things in that time, and have moved up already in my job, and to have a full-time, permanent contract.

And May 16th was when I ran my second half-marathon as part of a virtual challenge put on by a friend of a friend. My parents came and sat in lawn chairs in the park while I did loops. They cheered me on and filled my water bottle for me when I ran out. They’re my number one supporters and I love having a family that does that kind of shit for me in the face of something arbitrary like a virtual half marathon challenge. I knocked 7 minutes (!) off my original time. Amazing what not being hungover can do for your fitness levels. 

June 

I don’t remember many important things about June, other than Maddy moving to Banff. It was depressing but I was also happy for her and happy to have an excuse to go out there and visit. I went the very first weekend after she moved. Halfway through June I seriously contemplated quitting the GVRAT. My shins were bruised, I was dreading every single run, and I could not fathom doing it for 2.5 more months. I was dragging behind in the standings and losing my motivation. 

I spent a lot of time with friends reading in parks. Sometimes, often, with wine. I met a stranger in Canmore Park and ended up kissing him. He was lovely. 

Ali and I had one really good day in June where we went to the Farmer’s Market and then came back to her place and watched Ru Paul’s drag race for like eight straight hours. It was one of those days where we hadn’t seen each other in so long and you just feel totally high off of friendship and absolutely everything is funny and you just can’t stop laughing. I vividly remember it as one of the best days of the year. 

July

Again, July kind of passed in a blur. I did a lot of hiking, and a lot of running… keeping up with the GVRAT. I hiked Picklejar Lakes, Castle Mountain, Little Beehive Lookout. 

I went to Banff for a weekend to hang out with Maddy. We had a predictably wild weekend with her roommates and friends. We had dinner at Chili’s (hell yeah) and then went to High Rollers for beers and bowling. The “thing to do” at that point for all of these Banff people was to meet at the “rec grounds” aka public firepits and drink. The police would generally leave you alone so long as you weren’t being rowdy. I sat next to an Australian named Josh at a picnic table and later took him back to my hotel room and he gave me the world’s most unbelievable obvious hickey. Maddy and I sweat out the tequila shots the next day with a long ass hike, and then had a nap before her brother came and took us climbing at the Sunshine slabs – an activity I was not very good at but I wanted to be good at. It was the kind of weekend where you feel like, okay, I definitely indulged my wild side. And you drive home just like totally exhausted but smiling. I sent Maddy’s brother a voice note on my way into town thanking him for taking us climbing and saying it was nice to see him.

August

Okay – August was actually really eventful. Like most of the year’s events happened in August, honestly. A lot of running and hiking. I did Ha Ling Peak for the first time, and we did a 30km hike to Aylmer Pass one day that was a fricken GRIND. I spent the long weekend in Saskatchewan. We went to a cidery, and I ran laps around my Dodo’s acreage, and then we got to visit Wakaw Lake and reunite with our old next-door neighbours. We took the boat out and went tubing and lit fireworks and had an amazing dinner and honestly it was like reliving my childhood in the best, best, best way. I fell asleep on the car ride home. 

I went camping with Ali in Sylvan Lake. We got ice cream and cooked fish tacos over the campfire. She told me that Cody had a date planned for the day they took possession of their house, that she wondered if he might ask her to marry him but didn’t want to get her hopes up in case it didn’t happen and ruin what otherwise was supposed to be a celebratory day. Spoiler – he did ask her to marry him  I was running when she called me. I was listening to Epsilon by Kygo, and now when I hear that song I always think of them. I stopped my watch and just openly bawled on the street out of happiness for them. 

Steven successfully defended his master’s thesis. We went camping in Waterton to celebrate with Matt, Kennedy, Regan, Scott, and Rie. They brought cake. We did a sunrise hike. I slept in the back of my Ford Escape. 

On August 27, Ollie passed away. It was both expected and unexpected. He had been having some issues with seizures. The vet didn’t think it was anything to be too concerned about, he was old and it wasn’t uncommon for them to happen. It happened suddenly. I had a terrible sleep that night, and woke up in a cold sweat somewhere between 3 and 4 am. In the morning, my mom called me and told me the news. He had a giant seizure in the night and was crying and yelping. They woke up and took him to the emergency vet, they made the executive call to put him down to prevent any further suffering. He died right around the time I woke up in the middle of the night. I like to think that was his way of saying goodbye, maybe. I cried all day. Well, let’s be honest, I cried all week. I burst into tears at the mere thought of him. He was such a good and lovely dog. He was so loved by us. He had a good life. It is always sad when we lose pets so early. They bring so much joy to our lives, and still when I go to my parents’ place the first thing I want to do is call for him or pet him. I hope he is running around in whatever the pet afterlife is. I miss him. 

And on August 31, I ran my last kilometre of the GVRAT. I finished with 733.78 run, 83.18 hiked, and 205.09 walked. 

September

September was a nice break from running. I got to start coming to campus one day a week, on Thursdays, which was good for my mental health and work productivity. I got to spend September long in Vernon with Maeghan and Madison at Michael’s family’s cabin. They took us boating and made us meals and didn’t judge us for drinking margaritas with Michael’s sister literally all day. It was the best. It was the epitome of every summer weekend you dream about. I was so happy I got to go. 

I met a boy in September. It’s always September, isn’t it? It feels weird to write about him. Like, that makes him significant. But. He is significant. And I met him in September. And it was unexpected. Last minute. And essentially not a day has gone by since that day in September that I have not thought about him.

I also joined a Calgary Sport and Social Club team with my friends for softball and it started in September. We played two games and then I tore my hamstring running from second to third base. I tore… my hamstring…. Running like 30 metres…. After a summer of literally running 10+ km every day. I… it was the worst day ever. Softball itself was amazing and so fun even though I really do suck at the sport but highly recommend Rec League C-level beer league softball with all of your best friends. There’s just no way that isn’t fun. 

October 

A lot of pouting about my hamstring, I went to two physio sessions and then decided to just start running again. I’m bad. I’m a bad example. Don’t do what I do… but also…. It worked. 

I went to Victoria to visit Sydney over the Thanksgiving weekend. We went to a Thanskgiving potluck party at my old coworker’s place. It was a nice experience to be the new people at a party, to have a room full of new people to meet and who ask you questions about your life. We got really drunk and they tried setting Sydney up with one of their roommate’s brothers, and gave us lipstick to try, and poured us tequila shots. We had such an amazing meal. It was honestly so fun. We laughed in the cab the whole way back about how we were going to need to debrief that evening HARD the next morning. We watched a lot of All Gas No Brakes, and went for dinner and brunch and I limped up Mount Doug with my hamstring. It was a very very chill weekend, like we spent a lot of time just lounging at Sydney’s apartment and doing nothing. Because that is the kind of friends we are. It was so relaxing and lovely. I was sad to leave. 

Karla, my roommate, left for New York at the end of October. Her aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and she and her mom made the executive move to go there to basically be with her for the end of her life. She wasn’t going to be back until December. I was happy, because it’s nice to have a place to myself, but also sad because Karla is lovely and I knew it was going to be a stressful situation for her. 

November / December

I am combining these two months because they have also been largely uneventful. In fact… I don’t know if I could really tell you anything significant that happened. We’ve been in a lockdown. I’ve spent my time playing piano, watching Netflix, listening to podcasts, basically doing all of the things I usually do when I’m bored. Lots of Among Us. Lots of outdoor things… skating… more running. We’ve been in a lockdown since early December. Time has dragged on since then. I spent Christmas with my parents. Scott and Rie stayed isolated, because Scott is in and out of the hospital for school. My mom and I watched shitty Christmas Hallmark movies and made fun of the guys who star in them. We drank a LOT on Christmas Eve and both spent Christmas with a wicked hangover. My dad and I ate edibles and I was launched into the stratosphere. I spent New Year’s Eve with Boy from September. We played beer pong, and card games, and he tried to use a coat hangover to pick the lock on the mysterious room that my landlord keeps locked. We spent most of the night kissing, honestly. I was happy to spend the last moments of the year with him.

2021: 

Honestly... at this point... who really knows? 

#year in review #text #personal #2020

[sothischickshe]

fic asks! 1, 15 (mine are a tie between vamp!au, dirty game and time series. also genie!au. and turner pov on general principle. also neighborhood.), 23, 44, 62

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

ummm reading, i *think* like mid-teens probably? but, yknow, time, the past, number, concepts, it’s all very hazy.

writing...LET ME CONSULT MY FILES. so apparently i wrote 3 in 2008, which i dont think ive read since...2008. and i think i wrote another one in my head and never set a word down, and idk if that was before or after but im guessing round then...?

but the first one i posted was the first gg one and that was... june 2019

(look at me acknowledging the concept of time and shit!)

15. Tell the author your favourite fic of theirs. What’s your (the author’s) favourite fic you’ve written?

completely appropriate response to the notion of making a choice, j’approuve  <3 

ummm i dont think i have a favourite. and if i try to answer this question i go the wrong way round of like WELL IT’S NOT THAT ONE AND IT’S CERTAINLY NOT THAT ONE EITHER, which i think like....isnt the right approach to stuff you’ve made probably...?

and, idk, i like the Range!

reject the question on grounds of not vibing with it

23. What’s your absolute favourite trope to write?

this is a good question! the extent to which i love READING about fake dating, you’d think that’d be the answer, and yet ive never written it, nor do i have plans to.

i guess it’s probs enemies (to friends) to lovers/shifting sands of that type, slow burn type 2, bedsharing but bad, sex with some kind of competitive component to it, roleplay but bad.... but do i like writing those tropes or so they just slot well in the bethnrio dynamic???

44. Rant about something writing related.

MORE PPL SHOULD RINSE SEAN PAUL FOR WRITING THE LINE ‘I DON’T MEAN TO BRAG, EVERY DAY I GOT TO SHAG’

??????!???!?!?

62. Who finds this bit funnier, Meg or Lauren?

impossible to tell!!!!

fanfiction asks

#fanfiction #fanfic #writing #on writing #time is fake #i still insist #gosh the fact that checking my files is easy is WILD #i click on things and they open?! #WITCHCRAFT I TELL THEE #so sounds like i tried out writing fic #did nothing about it #and slept on the concept for a decade #yea sounds about right #i can't be trusted #very lawful chaotic #tropes #every time i listen to like glue that line takes me OUT of the solar system #i mean i assume he wrote it?? #think it's a co-writing credit yea #probs to hide the shame #like what is going on #is it austin powers ff????

[savageandwise]

12, 15, 21, 24

12. Favourite character to write this year:

Liam! He's just a joy to write. I love him. I love going on twitter and trying to get him to answer questions I need for fics. I'm just plain enjoying writing him.

15. something I learned this year:

How to write a passable Mancunian dialect

21. Favourite comment i received this year:

I got so many really great comments! I'm super grateful for them. My favourites have been the very long reviews of Throw the Wine. It's been a long time since I first posted that so I'm glad people are still reading.

This is my all time favourite comment I got this year:

From Elle_Jay (Jace_Lester) :

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FIC FOR DAYS!!! I read it on the subway on my way to work and got absolutely transfixed, and im so happy i finally have a sec to comment because holy shit this is what I've been desperately hoping i would be able to read some day. Gallaghercest is inherently dark, this dynamic holds so much power imbalance and the curcumstsnces which surrounded the two of them, both in childhood and the oasis era, were complex. SO to frame their relationship frok the lens of a HOROR/THRILLER IS SO BRILLIANT because, while the horror partially "lies in fear of the unknown," with all the supernatural stuff going on, but the way their past affects Noel is equally, if not more terrifying. Nothing will change the fact that Noel turned his brother into a victim, and that is something he has to live with for the rest of his life ON HIS OWN, because how will Sara understand? Or mam? Or paul? Or even Liam, who probably doesn't see himself as a victim. JUICY JUICY WORK OP THANK YOU

It really made my year

24. Favourite fic i read this year:

Has to be @cerberusia 's watersports fic in her kinktober 2019 collection. It inspired me to write Stop the Clocks and write for this fandom.

#ask #fanfiction

[holidaywishes]

Alright, look, I was going to post a sub post like ✨ and then put something snarky in the tags like “it’s the not taking accountability for me” and then leave everyone guessing about who I’m talking about but I’m not that person. I don’t gossip, I don’t spill tea or throw shade. I don’t even use these terms on the daily but I’ve got something to say and then I’m not going to say it anymore. You ready?

Being young is a fucking minefield. Every decision you make seems like it's gonna be the end of the world and you're dealing with stuff coming at you on all sides -- from peer pressure to family drama to university applications and everything in between -- it's rough. Hell being an adult is a fucking minefield. Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes. But there's a difference between being young and making mistakes in high school where no one knows you and being young and making mistakes in the public eye. I don't care if you make mistakes, I really don't, but there needs to be a line drawn somewhere.

I'm gonna bring up some old shit right now and some new shit but I don't care because this will be the only time I say any of it. You wanna send me stuff? Go for it, I might reply, I might not. You wanna block me because of what I say here? I get it and I respect your decision, but I've been seeing people excuse behaviour because it's a joke or it happened so long ago or because they're young and I just need to add my measly two cents.

Here's a list of things that are bothering me, in no particular order:

James Charles and the whole mugshot thing

James Charles and the whole Halsey Pregnancy photo shoot

Auston Matthews and the whole sexual harassment thing

Patrick Kane and the whole... Patrick Kane thing

Nicole Arbour's whole deal

The whole Beauty Youtuber community drama

Logan Paul and that forest thing

Adelaide Morin +others travelling during quarantine

Gabbie Hanna and her drama

Olivia Jade and the whole admissions scandal

Justin Biebers whole bratty thing

Charli and Dixie d'Amelio being brats

Ellen DeGeneres and the whole thing there

Scarlett Johansson thinking she can, and should be able to, play any role

That whole imagine video

R.Kelly's whole deal

There's probably more but this is all I can handle right now. I was gonna go into details and if you want me to explain it more than message me or send in an ask but just know I'm not here to add to any more drama. I just wanted to say my piece because I was seeing stuff and I needed to express some stuff.

Just to be clear, I know that a lot of these things are small issues but it truly is the not taking accountability for me. Make your choices, make your decisions, make your mistakes -- but take responsibility for them when you have an audience the way these people do and just apologize. Flippantly addressing something as if it's the most menial thing to ever happen in existence even though it's clearly impacting people is not the proper way to do it. You have a platform to address the mistakes that you've made and show you're not just a spoiled child who let the attention cloud everything.

As people, we have a responsibility to be kind. That also means taking accountability for the actions and decisions we've made that have not been so kind. It is multiplied ten fold when you're a celebrity or a pseudo celebrity. That doesn't mean these "celebrities" owe us regular people anything. It just means they have, or should have, people around them who know better and who can express to them how certain actions might be viewed. It's a slippery slope and I'm not so self-righteous that I'm gonna go off and say that there's people who aren't problematic. You have the right to think that I'm whining and am wasting everyone's time and I won't argue with you, mostly because I'm exhausted, but also because there's no point. I'm not coming after anyone who has put these issues in the past and who continue to be a fan of certain people on this list. I'm not coming for your favourite hockey player or your favourite YouTuber or your favourite celebrity or your favourite whatever. I just needed to say this so I know it's been said.

Live your life, do you, call me out if you need to (I'm not above anything), but don't let these small things control your lives. Don't let drama consume you, because it will, whether it's your drama or someone else's.

All my love <3

#i literally have a headache from trying to condense all this #into a simple post #it got way longer than I wanted #or meant it to be #but here it is #call me out #i probably need it #but these are small issues #the fact that people get so upset really confuses me