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riality-check · 1 year

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Hi!! I bought the wonderful @lazylittledragon’s Steddie dads zine last night, and in that time I’ve read it twice and loved every second of it. One of the panels (for those of you who have the zine, it’s page 42; for those of you who don’t, it’s a panel of Steve and Eddie sitting on a bed, holding each other, while Steve cries and Eddie says “I’ve got you.”) has lived rent fucking free in my brain, and it’s inspired 1k of whatever the hell this is.

If you haven’t already bought the zine, do it now, it’s so incredibly worth it!! Anyway, bon appetit.

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Steve doesn’t know why he’s freaking out so much. He’s not the one literally growing a person. He’s been pretty much fine this entire time. He’s held Eddie’s hair back when the morning sickness got bad and he’s bought baby clothes and he’s read so much (even though he can’t read for shit) of those little parenting books they have at the library.

Steve has been fine this entire time. He’s pushed back all his anxiety and every other remotely negative emotion because Eddie needs him. Eddie needs all the reassurance and comfort and joy that Steve can give him regarding this kid, and Steve is more than happy to give it. He’s got a nearly infinite supply.

But right now, on this random afternoon in July, everything that Steve has been holding back so carefully is coming to the surface.

In four months or so, he’s going to be a dad. He’s going to have a little, tiny, helpless baby utterly dependent on him for everything.

And Steve knows he’s going to fuck it up.

God. Steve loves this kid so much already. He thinks about who she’s gonna look like more (he hopes it’s Eddie). He sings to her, even when Eddie laughs and tells him to stop. He wonders how much she’ll cry, what her favorite food is going to be, what her first word will be, where she’ll take her first steps.

He’s so excited to meet her, and he’s so scared, too.

Because love doesn’t prevent people from fucking things up. Steve doesn’t have a single doubt in his mind that he is going to love this kid. But he’s worried that he’s going to make every mistake in the book.

What if he can’t get her to sleep? What if he can’t get her to eat? He doesn’t even know how to change a diaper!

What if he ends up putting his issues on to her? What if he loves her enough to make her resent him for it?

(Wouldn’t be the first time.)

What if-

There’s a knock on the door. “Steve?”

Shit.

Steve tries to wipe his eyes and steady his voice before he answers, “Yeah.”

It doesn’t quite work.

“Can I come in? You’ve been gone a little while.”

Steve wipes his eyes some more and sucks all the snot he can back up his nose. He hopes Eddie doesn’t notice. “Sure.”

The door opens, and Eddie stands there for a minute, just looking Steve over. He looks good, he always does, even in a plain black sweatshirt and ratty old jeans.

Steve watches in real time as an expression of sympathy takes over his face.

“Sweetheart,” Eddie says, and yeah, that’s enough for Steve to start crying again.

He curls up and buries his face in his arms and doesn’t look up, not even when Eddie sits next to him on the bed. He puts his arms around him, just holding, and when Steve can feel Eddie’s belly pressed against his leg, he cries harder.

“I’ve got you,” Eddie says.

This is stupid. I’m not the one who should be stressed out.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?” Eddie asks after a minute. He rubs soothing circles on Steve’s back.

“It’s stupid,” Steve gasps out.

“If you’re crying over it, it’s not stupid,” Eddie says gently.

“It is. I’m not the one doing the work.”

Steve can feel it when Eddie laughs. The gentle shake of his whole body makes Steve stop crying for just a second.

“You’re doing work, Steve.”

“I’m not the one growing a person.”

Eddie pulls back a little and looks at Steve seriously. “Just because you don’t have the parasite doesn’t mean you’re not doing work. You’ve gone shopping and you’ve cooked and you’ve cleaned and you’ve taken care of me. Does that not count as work?”

“No.”

“If we flipped the situation, and I was doing all that, would you still think that?”

Steve hates when Eddie is right.

“You’re allowed to be overwhelmed, Steve.”

Steve sniffles. “You need me, though.”

“I do,” Eddie says. “I’m always going to need you. But you’re allowed to need me, too, okay?”

Steve nods. “Yeah, I know.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows.

“I know!” Steve insists with a wet laugh.

“Okay,” Eddie smiles, and it’s the kind of smile Steve always wants to be the reason for. “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

“I’m gonna fuck this up.”

Eddie snorts. “So am I. You’re not special.”

“No, like,” Steve struggles for the words. “I’ve never been around kids-”

“Neither have I.”

“-and I don’t even know how to do basic shit-”

“That’s why Joyce is teaching us.”

Steve gives Eddie a look. “I know you’re trying to be reassuring, but can you let me finish?”

“Sorry, sweetheart.” Eddie mimes zipping his mouth closed.

It’s stupid little things like that that make Steve wonder how he got so lucky.

“I’m worried,” Steve swallows. “I’m worried that I’m gonna fuck up this kid enough to be just like me.”

Eddie’s eyebrows pinch together. “Steve. You are nothing like your parents.”

“I know! I know that. I have no doubt about loving this kid. I’m just afraid that - I don’t know.”

“It’s okay,” Eddie assures him. “It’s okay not to know.”

“I’m so afraid that I’m going to be overbearing and end up suffocating her,” Steve whispers.

Eddie stares at him for a good, long moment. Finally, he says, “Are you worried about loving her too much?”

“It sounds stupid when you say it like that,” Steve mutters.

Eddie takes his face in his hands and looks him dead in the eyes. “Not stupid.”

Eddie kisses him, soft and sweet and slow, and Steve kisses him back just as soft, just as sweet, and just as slow.

“You make me feel like the luckiest man on earth every single day,” Eddie says, Steve’s face still in his hands. “This kid is so goddamn lucky to be loved by you.”

Steve can’t help it; he starts crying again. Eddie wraps his arms around him.

“I’ve got you,” he says again.

#ria writes #the brainrot is so strong #steddie #steddie ficlet #steve harrington #eddie munson #fluff #angst #emotional hurt/comfort #seriously y'all go read the zine #it's so good #idk how to tag on tumblr #so i'm just adding shit as i go #stranger things

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petewentzisblack1312 · 2 years

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this is one of the two pieces i did for the zine Sing It Like The Kids That Are Mean To You created by @thrashbeatles and laid out by @birdloaf (you can get a physical copy here, and a digital copy here). i hope you enjoy it!

laundry day

or, put down the bleach

When I was little, I really liked dress up games. I knew how to play them right too. Straight blonde hair, blue eyes, and a pink skirt on the white girl. That was how you won. I don’t think I really understood how much I wanted to look like that. I remember thinking blue eyes and blonde hair made you pretty, and I remember how much I wanted to be pretty, and I remember I knew you didn’t really get those things unless you were white. But if you’d asked me if I wanted to be white, I’d have said no. I was perfect the way I was. That was the right answer, everyone knew that. Just like everyone knew blonde hair and blue eyes made you a smokeshow, and that only pretty people get put on TV and that pink was my favourite colour because I was a girl. Common knowledge.

I’m older now, and I get why that’s all bullshit. It’s not knowledge, it’s culture. It’s the victors writing history. It’s control of information, the power to decide what’s normal, the construction of an Us and a Them. It’s all a lie. Everything’s normal unless it hurts, and pain is normal too. It makes me angry that all these people—who are just like me, who are nothing like me, who love me, who hate my guts—think something’s wrong with them without even knowing what. So I turn to music that’s just as angry as I am: punk rock. Hard, fast and sloppy, countercultural and questioning authority, it’s a safe haven for everyone who just isn’t normal. I listen to people sing about poverty, about mental health, about rent and landlords, about all cops being bastards, about dirt and grime and grit and suddenly it hits me: all these people are fucking white.

It strikes me as odd that I’m not hearing these complaints from people who have it a few shades worse. And when I look into looking the part and I find more people who do not look like me. I find liberty spikes and mohawks sticking straight up in a way my hair could never, not without an atomic straightener and a ton of gel. I find people bleaching their hair until it’s deep fried just to dye it, ‘cause it’s just hair, it’ll grow back. I find straight black hair, blue eyes and torn black jeans on all the pretty white girls. That’s how I’m supposed to look.

A friend who knows I think about this stuff sends me a TikTok of a black girl showing how to look punk with afro hair. First thing she does is straighten it, like she has to make up for the fact that she’s black first. It’s strange, the way the land of outcasts still has me wanting to feel like I belong. Wanting to draw up a bath and fill it with bleach and wash myself clean, get out all those tough stains. To lay my head on an ironing board and get rid of all the wrinkles in my hair. To sew new blue buttons to see through. It’s frustrating, too. I’ve got all this dirty laundry in the form of everything I am. Who wouldn’t want to get it clean?

But who says I have something to air out anyway? Why keep it a skeleton in my closet? Why not be black on main? A mutual follower of mine has locs, and he wears them like emo bangs. I wear bantu knots, and I think they look punk as fuck. I see Edith Victoria rocking braids and faux locs in a million fun colours, and hair colour waxes getting popular, I see the success of afro punk and bands like Big Joanie and Bob Vylan, I see all these people being punk not in spite of their blackness but because of it. I see that it’s possible to put down the bleach, and I do.

#dils declares #punk #sing it zine #sing it like the kids that are mean to you zine #idk how to tag this since its not really about a band

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genderqueer-karma · 1 year

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just got my copy of the sing it like the kids that are mean to you! zine and i love it so much.

#yo it's d :)#this has nothing to do with the contents of the zine but the inside smells like bubble soap and i like that #sing it like the kids that are mean to you zine #as the kid who was always called ‘white’ for my interests. this is so special to me :))

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pansyfemme · 8 months

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I've been really curious about what the music u talk about on ur blog sounds like, or like, what type of stuff r the songs usually about?? Like what do twee artists sing about I have no idea. I guess I'm wondering what makes u pick the music u do

its honestly funny you phrased it this way because ‘what do twee artists sing about?’ is an easier question to answer than ‘what does twee sound like?’ imo.

Twee has a lot of different definitions but it also has a lot of different sounds! its easiest to describe as a way of making music, i’d say. It’s known for a childlike, whimisical messiness and upbeat positiveness. Singing is often unconventional and cute, whether it be offkey and singsongy or the classic ‘boy-girl harmony’. A lot of songs are about first love or crushes or sunny days but also shitty boyfriends or running into an ex. some could be described as sounding like kid’s music but its distinctly not kids music. It’s very very rarely well produced, often diy and most of it on tiny labels. The main era was the mid 90’s to early 2000s, but the largest possible range would probably start late 80’s and extend to today in some level. I will say that a lot of modern stuff is more twee inspired than true twee itself, though. twee was kind of brought by its own distinctive scene, there was a small but very devoted community circulating zines and comp tapes. A lot of it is pretty rough around the edges. you develop a taste for the weirder stuff as you get into it, i think. Much like how when i show my friends the pastels i play them “comin’ through” before “baby honey”. the more experimental stuff comes with time. You also tend to find some bands rejected the label and it was put upon them, while others are sooooo fucking proud of being twee. it never got to the level of other music subcultures by any means, but it does have its own fashions and aesthetics. (not to be confused with the twee aesthetic of the early 2010s on tumblr.) you get the impression that a lot of twee bands were just teens who really fucking loved pop music and wanted to dissect it. I think people are often too quick to seperate ‘indie’ and ‘pop’ when most indie stems from people who’s influences come from pop sounds that may have been mainstream at the time. The thing about twee pop is that it is firmly pop, despite it not being ‘popular’ in the traditional sense. But it is certaintly made to be beloved for a group of people who really adore a certain sound.

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void-flesh · 2 years

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My Chemical Romance Zine Archive Pt. 1

1. My Chemical Romance Made Me Queer mini Zine by @pikefishingjpg on insta

2. Sing It Like The Kids That Are Mean To You: A Collection of Works By Emos of Color by @thrashbeatles

3. The Black Parade Zine by @venomwolves

4. Tell Me Where We Go From Here: Thoughts From Adult Emo Kids by the Adult Emo Kids Server

5. Nostalgia by @asphaltpearls on insta

6. Give Him Hell by upon_nothing and punkish_art on insta

7. Romance by @killingbeforekilling

8. I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love 20th Anniversary Zine by @partiallypoison

9. RRRatz 1: Come One, Come All by @gothicfroggyshop on insta

I've been building this little archive for a while now, I love zines I think they're such a lovely piece of fan culture especially. I have more to post but for now here's a few! If you have zines you'd like to sell or donate, titles to suggest, or want to talk about how to start your own, my DMs are always open!

Forgive the photos, I am sick in bed as I write xo

#zines #mcr zines #my chemical romance #making things!! i love when ppl make things !!!!

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indecentpause · 1 year

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Find the Word

tagged by @winterandwords to find the words make, meal, more, and meet!

from The Black & Blues because I’ve pretty much used every quote I can from Puzzle and Princess, haha

cw: briefly implied past suicidal ideation (that was never acted on), swearing

make:

Kris takes a little longer to respond. He’s majoring in philosophy, with the intention to become a college professor, so he’s the busiest of all of you. Tons of readings and papers and research and debate.

“I think I could manage it,” he finally says. His mouth twists and he rolls his eyes to one side in thought. “I’d have to budget my time really well. But as long as you’re cool with me only making two practices a week, I could make it happen.”

You perk up, your whole body thrumming with excitement. You barely even notice Danny’s leg shifting away.

“Yes, yes, fuck yes!” you laugh, whacking your hands on the table, because you can’t sit still, it’s too exciting, you’re about to combust with joy.

meal:

After graduation, when you tell [Tyler] you’re moving to Chicago with your best friend to try to make something of yourself, you make him promise he’ll do what he needs to be himself, too. Whether that means moving or staying and making the town a better place. He cries. So do you.

If anyone could make a difference here, it’s him.

Danny took a gap year so you could both start school at the same time. You end up at DePaul, because even though Danny got accepted to some even better schools, DePaul is giving you lots of scholarship money, including dorms and meal plan paid for. Danny’s parents are willing to pay for him to make up the difference between his scholarship (which is less than yours but still pretty good) and what he’ll owe the school. You’re never going to speak to your family again.

Then, one day after school, in Danny’s bright green and yellow bedroom, he pulls out an audiocassette and says, “You have to hear this.”

He sticks it in his walkman and shoves the headphones over your ears. The music starts.

“Danny,” you say, “this is just a cover of Smells Like Teen–”

But then the lyrics start, and you could cry, you could absolutely break down right here on the floor in Danny’s bedroom.

Against all odds, we appear/Grew up brainwashed/But turned out queer–

From there on it gets more graphic. This tape is clearly meant for adults. But for you, a lonely gay kid in a homophobic town in the middle of nowhere, it means so much. There are others. It’s not just you and Danny and Billie Joe Armstrong. There are other singers, and musicians, and bands, and people like you.

Danny keeps finding more and more queer punk bands and zines, and you listen to and read each one in the safety of his bedroom, always with headphones, songs curated especially for you. You listen to them like gospel, never daring to sing them aloud at home lest your parents hear you, or your brother, or your sisters. It’s 1999 and you’re only thirteen but you don’t think they’d hesitate to kick you out if they knew.

meet:

You meet up with everyone for coffee on Friday night. Austin and the others are all old enough to drink, but you and Danny are still too young, and while drinking in the privacy of a friend’s home would be fine, you’re not ballsy enough to get a fake ID.

You’re vibrating again, distracted, thinking about tomorrow morning. When Danny nudges your shoulder with your elbow, you jump, and you laugh a little, embarrassed.

“Sorry,” you say. “I was. I’m just really excited. There were times I thought I’d never make it this far alive, much less doing something I’ve always wanted to do.”

Kris’s and Sara’s faces go sad, and Austin’s brow furrows in. You were so used to saying things like that growing up, sometimes you forget that’s not a normal thing.

You wave the comment away with your hand. “It’s nothing,” you say. “I’m just really excited. I love playing and I love music and I’ve always wanted to be in a band.”

tagging some new folks from a list I found! @written-in-gold @whogavemeapen @shaicarus and also my excellent mutuals @winterandwords @drippingmoon and @kaiusvnoir because I can’t get enough of their work <3

if any of you new folks don’t want me to tag you again, just let me know! I found you all on one of those posts of collected writeblrs :)

tagging you all to find: party, eat, hand/s, circle, and blade!

#writeblr #my writing #find the word tag #writeblr tag games #amwriting #wip #excerpt #the black and blues #sheraton academy #sheraton academy au #meara ryanne #danny yazdi #kris rathmore #austin foster #sara quill #tyler

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signedjehanne · 1 year

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ok soooo... i was thinking about the post i reblogged where i talked about not being able to draw myself comfortably, and i realized that like. i've really grown into being comfortable with my personhood these past few years but i still havent grown into being comfortable with specifically my face. and i decided yknow what if i don't start now i'll never be comfortable with my features. and then i read the sing it like the kids that are mean to you zine and i saw @cordspaghetti's piece for it and i was like huh. i have never in my life taken the time to sit down and draw myself how i actually look, so tonight i did! it's just a sketch and not the best piece i've ever done but at least it looks like me. i apologize for the bad photo quality i have no way to digitally scan my drawings. but here it is!

#seb speaks #my art #:^)#thanks to ash girlmikeyway for their posts on not being able to imagine yourself how you actually looked #because that made me think a lot about my own experiences and helped me to confront them #Nervous about putting art on tumblr for the first time in ages. but its fine its fine its fine

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thebluesideofmyworld · 3 years

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A Good Guy - A Solangelo One-Shot

Summary: Will might be a lot of things. And among those things, Will would dare to say that he’s a good guy. But when it came to Nico di Angelo, would he ever be good enough, though?

Word count: 3900 words || Rating: Teenage and Up Audiences || Read on AO3

Notes:

1. Based on the song "good guys" by LANY 2. My contribution for @after-everything-pjo-zine project. Check out other fics (each fic is accompanied by great fanart so you just HAVE to check it out) in the zine here.

***

Will might be a lot of things. And among those things, Will would dare to say that he’s a good guy. And he would proudly say that it’s because his family raised him to be one. His Mama made sure that he never forgot to say please, sorry and thank you, and his grandma taught him to respect people. Even though Apollo wasn’t around to be an ideal father as Will was growing up in Tennessee, his grandpa showed him how to be a Southern gentleman.

So yeah, he might come across as a young man who with a sassy attitude. But heck, Will knew that he was a good guy. And he’s proud of that.

But here’s the thing. Here’s a thing about being a good guy. Being a good guy might sound like it’s a good thing to do. But being a good guy also sometimes meant that you’re almost as invisible as a wallflower. Because even though you’re good, there were always be better guys. And one thing that Will learned about being a good guy? Good guys never win.

***

“It’s been almost two weeks, you know,” Will said as he kept his eyes at the monthly medical report that he (pretended) to be reading.

“Two weeks since what?” Kayla asked, but didn't bother to pretend that she's actually interested.

“Since Nico went for that quest, remember? Something about Persephone’s parrot or something?” Will said, still trying to keep his eyes at the notes. Because he knew that Kayla might still see the worry in Will’s eyes. (Sometimes it’s almost scary, how his siblings knew him too well).

“Oh? Really? Has it been two weeks yet?”

“Almost,” Will said, decided to leave the detail that it’s actually has been 11 days and since Nico had left the camp early in the morning and now it was almost dinner, it’s been almost twelve freaking days since Nico left the camp for that stupid quest.

“I mean, of course, it might be nothing but well, I thought it was supposed to be a short, simple quest?” Will continued. “Usually if it’s just this small quest, it never took him this long before. Usually it would just be like, three days, five, at the most, and like, a week if he took a detour to impulsively do something unnecessary, but never this long.”

Will lifted his head and turned to look at Kayla, who didn’t seem to share the same worry as Will. Her eyes were still fixed on the glossy pictures of the magazine that she was looking at. A non-committal hum coming from her was the only sign that she was (kind of) listening.

Will tried to focus on the lines of writing in front of him, but the letters were all jumbled and he couldn’t make himself try to read anything. His mind was too busy thinking about different reasons and scenarios of why Nico wasn’t back yet from the quest.

“Do you think I should ask Chiron about it? Probably he’s heard from Nico, y’know. Like, maybe something came up and I don’t know, maybe Chiron knew or maybe even Rachel got a vision or something, or-“

“Or you could have just contacted me, Solace. Pretty sure that it doesn't hurt to try IM me”

Will stood up and spun to face the direction where the voice was coming from. He did it so fast, he got dizzy because of it. It took him two seconds before his eyes could fully focus on Nico di Angelo, who was staring at him. His face looked nonchalant, but his eyes glinted with amusement.

“Uh, hey,” Will greeted, gripping the desk as he suddenly needed to get a hold of himself. “You’re back.”

Nico gave him a single nod, brushing away some strands of hair from covering his eyes. “Yep. I just got back.” He shrugged his shoulders before continuing. “Thought I’d drop by here before I report to Chiron.”

Will tightened his grip on the desk, trying his best to hold himself from closing the distance between him and Nico just to pull Nico into his arms.

“And uh… What brings you here?”

The emotional part of him wished that he was the reason why Nico came straight to the infirmary after the quest. But the rational part of him shushed him. That damned rational part of him told him that hey, it was him who wanted to see Nico, not the other way around.

Nico kept his eyes at Will and there was something in those dark eyes that Will couldn’t really put his fingers on.

“I thought you wanted me to have a check-up every time I got back from a quest?”

Of course.

Will tried to ease the dull pain in his heart by giving Nico a small smile. “Yeah. Of course. Need to make sure that you won’t fade into the shadows again, huh?” Will let out a nervous chuckle. “I mean, I am your doctor, and a doctor only wants the best for his patients.”

This time Nico stayed silent as he nodded. Will gestured to a nearby cot with his chin.

“Now, if you could just sit down over there, please?”

Still saying nothing, Nico strode to the cot and quickly sat there. Will took a deep breath, mentally telling himself to be professional, and let it out in a long exhale. He made his way to where Nico was waiting for him.

The check-up was a regular one. And there was nothing new about how touching Nico made stupid butterflies do some stupid dancing in his stomach. He ached to ask Nico questions about what happened in the quest and why it took so long. He wanted to know whether Nico ever thought of him while he was on the quest the way Will kept on thinking about him while he was away. He wanted to listen to Nico talk to him, with that slight accent that made his voice so melodious, almost like he was singing.

But it would only scare Nico away.

So he kept his eyes at the board where he jotted down the notes about Nico’s vitals.

“So, uhm… This quest was a bit longer than usual, huh?” Will asked, almost proud of himself that his voice sounded normal.

Nico hummed as he put his jacket back on. “Yeah, we had an unexpected encounter with some empousai. Luckily, David is unexpectedly good at fighting.”

At the mention of the name, Will lifted his head up. “David? You mean the new camper? That Athena kid?”

Nico nodded. “Yeah. For someone who never held a sword before, I have to say that I’m impressed.”

A strange, nauseating heat flared inside Will’s stomach. “Really?”

“Yup. In fact, I promised to give him an extra lesson in sword-fighting tomorrow.”

That strange heat swirled even more inside Will. He stretched his lips into a lame attempt to smile at Nico.

“Oh,” Will said. “Nice.”

“In one way, he strangely reminded me of Percy, you know? The way he held his sword.” And Nico continued talking for a while about that stupid new guy. Will listened, humming every now and then just to show Nico that he’s listening.

Half of his mind wished that the harpies would find that David kid to be a nice target for their dinner. The other half of his mind scowled at him for having that kind of evil wish.

“Okay. Everything looks good. Just make sure that you drink enough water,” Will said as he wrote the date and signed his name on the bottom part of the report.

“So I can go now?”

Will nodded. “Yeah, you’re free to go now,” he answered as he walked back to his desk to put the record in the folder.

“And you’re not even offering to walk me back to my Cabin like a good Southern gentleman?”

Will spun on his heel quickly. He stared at Nico with wide eyes, thinking that he might have been hallucinating.

“What?”

Nico snorted and slid down from the cot. “Never mind. I need to report to Chiron first anyway.”

Will blinked, and it took him a full two seconds before he had his voice again.

“Nico-“

But Nico was already one step away from the door. He stopped and looked at Will over his shoulder. The left tip of his lips curled up, just slightly, forming a ghost of a smile. He gave a two-finger salute to Will.

“I’ll see you around, Solace.”

Not waiting for Will to answer him, Nico stepped away. And just like that, he’s out of sight.

Will stared at the open door. There is this hollowness inside his heart that he couldn't explain. Like he just missed a chance.

He always thought that he’s a good guy. Or at least, he’s trying to.

But would he ever be good enough, though?

***

“What are you doing here?”

Lou Ellen’s voice startled Will.

“Me? Uh…” Will scrambled to pick up the book that he just dropped and showed it to Lou, like he was trying to prove something. “I was reading!”

Lou Ellen stared at him with a glint of amusement in her eyes as she gave Will the Look. The ‘don’t-give-me-bullshit’ Look.

“What, am I not allowed to read in peace?” Will said, a bit defensively.

“Hey, it’s cool dude,” Lou said. “In fact, it was nice to see you somewhere else aside from the infirmary,” she added.

Will relaxed a bit, going back to lean his back on the tree.

“I can see why you choose this spot. It’s much quieter than the infirmary on your busy days,” Lou said.

Will hummed. His eyes flickered to the far left, to the clearing a few yards away, just for a split second before he opened his book.

“And the view from here is also… decent.”

Lou Ellen’s tone made Will quickly look up again at the daughter of Hecate. She’s now grinning at him, like she just figured something out.

“How long have you been spying on those two?” Lou asked, gesturing with her chin to two demigods in the clearing who seemed to just finished sparring.

Will gaped at her. He blinked and quickly shook his head. “What? No! I’ve told you, I was reading here!”

But Lou Ellen didn’t seem to care about Will’s reaction as she waved at the demigods in the clearing.

“Hey, Nico! David!”

Will’s eyes widened in horror this time as he turned his head around, only to see that Nico and the new Athena kid walked towards them.

“Lou!” he hissed in annoyance.

Lou Ellen just gave him a teasing smirk. “What?”

Will groaned and quickly stood up, his book abandoned on the grass as he unconsciously ran a hand over his wild locks.

“Hey,” Nico greeted. “What’s up?”

Nothing’s up aside from his heartbeat, Will would like to answer. But of course, he kept it to himself as he tried his best to school his face into a relaxed, nonchalant, I’m-just-chilling-here expression.

“Nothing much,” Lou Ellen shrugged her shoulders. “You two are sparring together here? Why? Is the arena too mainstream for you?”

The new Athena kid gave a half-smile as he brushed off some hair from covering his eyes. “It was my request, actually,” he said. “I just want to have a...” he waved his right in a vague circular motion, like trying to find the exact word to say. “A more… realistic view when fighting a monster?”

That didn’t really make sense to Will. But it seemed to be an acceptable reason for Lou Ellen as she nodded at him.

“And has Nico been a good teacher for you?” Lou Ellen asked.

Will didn’t miss the way Lou gave him a quick glance.

David’s half-smile turned into a full one. “He is!” He turned his head to Nico and smiled at him, like he was pleased at Nico. “Thanks for teaching me, Nico. You are very good at sword-fighting.”

Nico returned David’s smile with one of his small smiles. A smile that could have filled Will’s chest with warm air. But since he’s not at the receiving end of that smile, it turned Will’s chest into lead instead.

“Anytime. It was a pleasure.”

“You will teach me more, yes? And ah… We also need to talk more. About football.”

This was the first time for Will to really listen to David talking, and he couldn’t help but notice how David’s voice had quite an accent. Especially when he pronounced football, the way he stretched some syllables.

Nico’s face lit up. “Yeah! We should! I know that Cecil played football! Right?” His eyes darted from Will to Lou Ellen, like asking for confirmation.

“Cecil? He does. I can take you to talk to him. Come on,” Lou Ellen quickly pulled the sleeve of David’s shirt and led him away from the other two demigods.

Will watched the backs of Lou Ellen and David who were walking away from them. He could feel nervousness starting to creep in on him as their voices slowly faded away, as he realized that he’s now alone with Nico.

Not that he hated to be with Nico. It’s just… this wasn’t his plan. He wasn’t prepared. And Will hated it when things didn’t go as he planned. He hated it when he was unprepared.

“David played football,” Nico said just when David and Lou Ellen disappeared from their sight.

Will angled his neck to look at Nico. “And when you said football, did you mean soccer?”

“I mean football,” Nico answered, turning on his heels a little so now he was facing Will. “The real football.”

Will snorted and slid down to sit on the grass. “They’re the same,” he said, leaning his back on the tree.

Nico followed Will, sitting on the grass. “It will always be football for me,” he said. There was a melancholic tone lacing his voice. And it made Will wonder, maybe it’s something that Nico used to play. In the streets in Venice, when he was just a kid who had no idea that Greek gods and goddesses were real.

“We, David and I, we were talking about playing here. I mean, it would be great, you know? David said he played midfield. I’m usually,” Nico paused, but quickly continued. “I mean, I used to play as a striker. If we can connect well, that would be really cool.”

Will closed his eyes while his stomach churned with a strange, unpleasant feeling. So, not only was this David kid good in sword-fighting, he’s good in soccer too?

“Do you play too? I mean, you can be the goal keeper. I guess you would be great. I mean, you’re tall and it would be a great asset for a goalkeeper.”

Will huffed. Stuck between the goalposts while watching Nico and David scoring goals? Yeah. No, thank you.

“We’ll see about that,” Will said, still with his eyes closed.

For a while, none of them said anything. Will opened his eyes when he heard Nico sighed. He turned his head, watching Nico stand up. Nico brushed his pants, and gave Will a small smile.

“I’ll see you around, Solace.”

Will wondered why that smile looked a bit strained, but returned it anyway. “Yeah. I’ll see you around.”

He watched as Nico walked away.

Someone would be a good guy for Nico, he thought. And even though Will was a good guy, maybe he just wasn’t good enough. So of course, someone would be a good guy for Nico. Someone else. Not Will.

***

Will didn’t even know why he was here, standing awkwardly near the table where the food and drinks were.

Oh, yes. Because Cecil and Lou Ellen practically dragged him here, to this stupid Halloween party organized by the Aphrodite Cabin.

It’s not that Will disliked Halloween. And it wasn’t like he hated Halloween parties either. What he didn’t like, was seeing Nico talking with David at the other corner of the room. Just looking at the sight made a strange, nauseating fire flame inside of him.

“Pining over di Angelo again?” Lou Ellen nudged him on his shoulder.

“Yeah. How long are you going to act like this Will? Playing it cool while we all know how you wish you’re the one talking to di Angelo instead of David?” Cecil joined Lou Ellen in interrogating Will.

Will only rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” he mumbled, and took another sip of Coke from his cup. He tried to watch the campers who were dancing in the middle of the floor. Some kids from the Hermes cabin somehow got a hold of speakers. And of course, with a little help from the Hephaestus kids, the party had a cool sound system that was now playing pop music.

Lou Ellen sighed. Will stole another glance at where Nico was standing. David was leaning a little to whisper something at Nico. The proximity between those two made it a little bit harder for Will to breathe. He wondered what it was that David was telling Nico. But then Nico turned his head to Will. And no matter how cliché it might sound, Will’s heart skipped a beat when their eyes met. Will quickly looked down to the floor.

Next to him, Lou Ellen clicked her tongue.

“You know what? I can’t take this anymore. It’s been MONTHS. This has got to end tonight,” she said. Ignoring Will’s protest, she grabbed Will’s wrist and pulled him along with her, walking towards Nico and David.

A few seconds later, Will was standing with a flustered face in front of Nico and David.

“Hey, Nico, David! You guys enjoying the party?”

David gave that half-smile again. “Ah, yes. The party is nice.” He angled his neck just a bit so now he was looking right at Will. The half-smile subtly transformed into a knowing smirk. “And you? You… You are the healer, yes? Will?”

Will forced himself to smile politely at David. “Yeah. That’s me.”

David gave a single nod. “Nico talked a lot about you. A lot of good things.”

Will blinked. His eyes darted to Nico, but the raven-haired boy looked away from him. Still, his cheeks were a dark shade of red.

“Is that Cecil over there? I think I want to talk to him,” David suddenly said as he pointed at Cecil with his chin. “Lou Ellen? Come with me?”

Lou Ellen grinned as she nodded and made a 90-degree turn on her heels. “Yeah, come on, David. Let's leave these two idiots.”

And just like that, they left Will again, standing awkwardly less than two feet away from Nico.

“Uh… I didn’t expect to see you here,” Will said.

Nico turned his head at Will, an eyebrow slightly raised up. “Oh? I thought you were the one saying that I need to work on my social skill.”

Will gave Nico a small smile. “Yeah. So. Good to see you here, then. I mean, for your social skills and all.”

Nico stared at Will. And there was just something behind those dark eyes. Something that Will couldn’t put into words. Something that made him unable to look away.

“Aren’t you going to ask me to dance, Solace?”

The question got Will off-guard. Of all the questions in the world, it’s probably the most unexpected one.

“Huh?”

Nico held his eyes at Will’s for another second, but then he looked away. “Never mind,” he said, half-mumbling. His cheeks blushed again into dark cherry color.

“But… do you want to, though?”

Nico’s head turned back to Will. “Want to do what?”

“Dance? Do you…want to?”

Nico bit his lower lip and he looked down for a second. When he looked up back at Will, his charcoal eyes were soft.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“On who’s asking me to.”

Will’s heart started to jump around in his chest.

“What if it’s me asking you?”

The eyes that were staring back at him were now smiling.

“Then I guess, it depends on the song, then.”

Will’s heart was probably doing some crazy somersaults right now, but his lips curled up without him even thinking about it.

“Well, it’s my favorite song that they’re playing right now. I hope it suits you?” he asked, carefully offering his hand.

Nico’s smile was as soft as the look in his eyes. And the moment their fingertips touched, Will’s heart soared high and suddenly his chest was filled with warm, light air.

As Will led Nico to the floor, he thought about how long he has been wanting to do this, to hold Nico’s hand in his.

They swayed along with the music. Nico’s left hand felt perfect in his right hand. Will’s left hand rested on Nico’s hip and Will couldn’t care less about the other people dancing around them.

“Your dancing is better than your singing,” Nico said, a playful smile on his lips.

Will chuckled. “My grandma said a real Southern gentleman must know how to dance. And I remember my Mama dancing with me when I was a kid.”

“Your Mam raised you well, I have to say.”

Will hummed. “I’m a good mama’s boy, I can promise you that.”

“I can see that, Will. Everyone can see that.”

“See what?”

“That you’re a good guy.”

This time Will held his eyes at Nico. “I try to be,” he said. “But… Would I ever be good enough for you?”

Nico huffed. “And you said I was the dense one.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Nico stopped, but his feet kept on moving. He sighed. “Gods, do I really have to spell it out to you?” He asked, sounding exasperated as he looked away from Will.

Hope bloomed inside of Will and he grinned and oh, how he wanted to shout and laugh. He took his hand off Nico’s hip so he could gently cup Nico’s cheek, guiding him to face him back.

“Do you mean you like me?” Will asked.

“Well, do you like me?”

Will chuckled and he could feel a stupid smile creeping in. “Why do you even have to ask?”

Nico shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Because you’re nice to me but you’re also nice to everyone? Because you don’t seem to care even if I talk about someone else? Because you…” Nico stopped again and shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe because I just…don’t know?”

Will squeezed Nico’s hand just a bit tighter. “I was just… I was just afraid that I’m not good enough for you.”

Nico rolled his eyes. But his lips twitched, like he tried to hold back a smile.

“You’re a good guy, Will. You’re a good guy to everyone. But sometimes I hope that you can be my good guy.”

It’s like a thousand birds were singing inside of Will now as he felt like he was floating in this bubble of happiness.

“Then I’ll be yours, Death Boy.”

Will wrapped his arms around Nico, and pulled him into his embrace.

“I’ll be your good guy, then. I’ll be your everything.”

Nico pulled himself a little away from Will. He looked up at Will and the light in his eyes was like the most beautiful star in a dark night.

“Everything?”

“Everything. Anything you need.”

***

Additional Author's Notes: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it :). Reblogs, replies or any other feedbacks are much appreciated. Also please don't forget to check out the zine!!!

#solangelo #solangelo one shot #nico di angelo #will solace #solangelo fanfic #solangelo fic

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