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r-brauns · 2 years

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Selfishly, For You -- Read on Ao3

Jean finally had Mikasa in his arms, in his bed. While he knew he should be happy, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong - that by doing this he was betraying a friend, a cherished comrade. Worried that he was letting his own selfish desires cloud his conscience, he struggles to stay in the moment while the girl of his dreams is right in front of him, naked and wanting him.

**HEAVY Spoilers for Chapter 138. If you aren't caught up with the series ending and don't want to be spoiled, do not proceed.**

Rating: Explicit (Sexual content)

Words: 3,670

Fandoms: Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin

Categories: M/F

Relationships: Jean Kirstein / Mikasa Ackerman (Jeankasa) / Mentioned Eren Yeager

Other tags: Post-Canon, Heavy Angst, Loss Of Virginity, Self-doubt, Self-reflection, Closure, First Time, Romance, Vaginal Sex, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Post Time-Skip

#Attack on Titan #AOT #shinjeki no kyojin #snk #Jeankasa #jean kirschtien #mikasa ackerman #ao3 #Angst #Heavy angst #Character study #Chapter 138 spoilers #aot manga spoilers #my fic #mine

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authorchan13yeager · 1 year

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For those that wonder how i reacted to the Darkroad's final, It's like you're reading the Kingdom Hearts manga but the more you get to the last few pages the more you realize you've been reading snk, volume 34 all along.

It's a shock, isn't it?That's how I felt.Because throughout the game, there are funny scenes interspersed with some serious moments without it ever becoming chaotic.The last episode of Dr. destroys me whether it's because all of a sudden we get the deaths of all of Xehanort's friends in a row, or whether it's the avalanche of plot twists we're used to at the end of every Kh game.But to get back to Xehanort's dead friends, the most shocking thing is that they really are dead.Okay, we've had some traumatic scenes in kh, whether it was Sora stabbing himself with the Keyblade of Hearts in kh1, or Xion's death in khDays, or even the fateful fate of the Wayfindertrio, but we can all agree that they all came back at some point.Xehanort's friends never had the right to come back in the saga. Xehanort will never see them again (Nomura makes them come back in kh4 please)And there is also the fact that Xehanort went through so much shit, he didn't deserve it.If the Wayfindertrio is the "bad ending version" of the Destiny trio, in that case it's the same with Xehanort and Sora.So you could look at it as if Xehanort would be what Sora would be if he had gone through all this.Conclusion I love this game and it's one of my favorite kh but damn NOMURA!

#Kingdom Hearts #Not shitpost or a meme #Kh dark road #Xehanort #Sora #My own personal opinion #The last episode of dr= 138 chapter of snk #Do you want me to talk about it ?#Then ask meh #Pain #God damn Nomura #Why?

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where-are-blog1 · 2 years

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Isayama: "Now what should I do for the climax of Attack on Titan?"

The producer through paths: "Make Eremika canon in the most cheesy and out of characters way possible, and then crushed it, let the world burn in rage"

#Through paths #Eremika #Eremika meme #Ooc ending #Chapters 138 & 138 were jokes #aot #snk

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rivaille-13 · 6 months

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I know I should’ve been happy to see Captain Levi post-war but it doesn’t sit right with me. I am very glad to see another illustration of him—he looks toned and handsome, and mostly, he looks very capable of living useful.

What doesn’t sit right with me is the scenario. Is it still fan service to see Levi with kids he barely knew? There was never a connection among them. Gabi and Falco STILL have their parents. Their parents are the reason why they kept on fighting the war so that they could live a long life with them…and it is the same with Levi.

“Is it hope or despair his strength comes from?”

From the SNK exhibition, even before the events of Chapter 138, Levi’s tagline was a question of liege especially that he now lost Erwin. But it was finally answered that his strength comes from hope when desperately it was just two of them (Mikasa and Levi) battling the final war. It doesn’t need explanation, honestly, the way Levi’s eyes shone and the way he committed himself to Mikasa was a concrete evidence that he found himself another liege.

So that was one reason why it doesn’t sit right with me. Having Mikasa away from him, or maybe let’s put it in a gentle conclusion, having his squad (which is his family for many years) away from him in exchange for Gabi and Falco (which he barely knew) just because it resembled Furlan and Isabel? Come on…Levi isn’t that shallow.

Plus isn’t that Yelena I see over there? Does it sit still right that above all people he knew, he is here out with people he barely knew and put great damage to his life?

I’m so disappointed the way I was disappointed last 2021. The reason why a lot of RM shippers quit the fandom because of this bullshit. End events doesn’t make any sense.

#rivamika #リヴァミカ #levi and mikasa

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sunlightandsuffering · 1 month

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It's the 2 year anniversary of chapter 138 aka Cabin Eremika. Aka that one time Eren created a whole alternate reality for the exclusive purpose of running away with Mikasa into the secluded mountains so he could spend 4 years breeding her while living a cute married cabin life together. Honestly one of the best things any author has ever written ever. It's anniversary should be an international holiday! 😤

WAS IT REALLY?? U know I wanted them to have happy ever after but tbh the cabin AU is still wild and so bold of yams like so iconic WHO ELSE WOULD DO THAT!! ONLY MY MANS!! Especially in a manga as tragic as SNK I mean reallly!!!mans is an icon !! I’m still waiting on high school castes au tho tbh like give me my gothkasa and normie Eren!!! GIVE THEM TO ME!!!

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super-peace-fangirl · 3 years

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Connie's so committed to protecting his dad he doesn't leave his side until the very moment Mikasa, Levi, Pieck and Falco have no choice but to depart 😔

And look at Levi's reaction to leaaving his kids behind

Isayama, why you do this to me man? 😳

#connie springer #I hope Connie and Jean will live T.T #levi ackerman #snk 138 #snk spoilers #snk chapter 138 #snk #levi #connie #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #aot #aot 138

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momtaku · 2 years

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This is kind of a sensitive topic so you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but people had a special nickname for Mikasa after that 138 kiss. Basically they were all calling her a necrophile. What's your response to that? I have a lot of points to counter that myself, but I'm afraid that if I say anything I'll have people come after me with judgement and accusations. A lot of the hate that she gets goes too far, in my opinion.

My opinion is people need to grab a dictionary. A necrophile is someone who is sexually attracted to dead bodies and that is not Mikasa.

Mikasa was teetering between two worlds, a paths experience where they were together as a couple and reality where she was stopping his rampage. The kiss wasn't sexual. Eren's death wasn't exciting to her. The kiss was her way of telling Eren she loved him as both worlds merged together.

It's fine if people are bothered by it. It was supposed to be unsettling. But it was also very on par for Attack on Titan and anyone who enjoys the series should know that Isayama would take the final love confession and make it as painful and gruesome as possible.

I know some people say it to be funny, but I suspect the people who argue this would be gloating if their ship was instead involved in that sequence. I have yet to see a sincere and reasonable person who truly believe this of Mikasa. It's usually part of an attack by people who like you said, hate Mikasa and want to hurt her fans. It's childish name calling.

I have no worries of people coming after me in judgement on this point. It's the dumbest argument, easiest to ignore, and I am well trained in rolling my eyes all day if necessary at the nonsensical arguments of the bitter people in this fandom.

Thanks for the ask!

#chatting with friends #snk chapter 138 #eremika #mikasa ackerman

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free-pancakes · 3 years

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snk 138 is nothing but PAIN </3 could you drop alternative headcanons please 🤲🤲

Levi sat down on his porch, holding a warm mug of tea in his hands. Sunlight wrapped around his body like a hug, the cool breeze softly ruffled his hair and left cool kisses on his face—sweet relief in the summer heat. “Thanks, Hange,” he thought. He pressed his fingers up to his face, feeling the soft, smooth fabric of her eye patch covering his right eye and smiled.

He always felt like she was still around—little acts of nature like this made him feel she really was watching over him, like she was still at his side, and he felt a little less lonely. No, he was never alone. He might be living in this little cabin in the woods by himself, but the kids always came by to visit.

Connie and Niccolo never failed to bring him delicious meals. He could always tell which ones Connie cooked and easily preferred Niccolo’s dishes, but Connie was getting better at it so he couldn’t complain. Niccolo was a good teacher after all.

Oddly enough, he found a quiet friendship with Pieck. She’d come by to visit and bring little sweets for them to share. They’d sit quietly together listening to music on a small Marleyan record player gifted to him and Hange one day many years ago. He accrued quite a large music library of sorts, a new little hobby of his since he moved into the cabin.

Jean finally won Mikasa’s heart after all these years. Levi was a bit surprised at this, but he remembered Hange always telling him that she’d been giving Jean advice with how to win the heart of an Ackerman. He grumbled a bit whenever he remembered this, annoyed that she read him like an open book and now even in death, she succeeded in proving how well she knew him—a hopeless romantic like Jean found happiness with an Ackerman because of her advice. He wondered what she told him—she refused to tell him every time he asked. He thought about this and chuckled to himself whenever Jean and Mikasa would come and drop off their little toddler for him to watch while they were busy. In fact, he looked after their child and Historia’s quite often. When they’d run to him, hands outstretched yelling “Uncle Levi!” he always let himself smile big as they jumped into his embrace. Whenever this happened, the wind whistled by his ears and he swore he heard hints of her voice—Hange teasing him and whispering in his ear about how proud she was that he was finally sharing this endearing side of himself with people other than herself.

One day he was watching over Historia and Mikasa’s toddlers, and he let them run around his home as he sat and pulled a journal from the coffee table. It was a makeshift journal that Onyankopon had bound for him, holding pages he had ripped from Hange’s research notebooks and journals. He had to admit, he was a mess after all the events that occurred, as he sat in the memories and guilt of being the only survivor of his generation. They all began to worry about him when he spiraled into that dark place, but one day Armin decided to gather Hange’s old notebooks and journals and brought them to Levi. At first Levi refused, but Armin insisted he had to flip through some of them. And goddamnit Armin was right— Levi smiled, even laughed as he leafed through the pages. He loved reading her thoughts and notes on titans—her beautiful mind never ceased to amaze him. But what he really loved, was that she wrote little notes about what she was thinking about in between her research. He wildly flipped to find certain dates. Dates marking things like the day they first hung out together, Erwin’s birthdays, the days leading up to when Hange and Petra threw him a surprise birthday party, the days where they spent time taking care of each other after expeditions, everything. Levi was one to remember the exact dates of it all, and he wasn’t disappointed with what he found. She wrote all about him and their friends in the margins, and he ripped out those pages to keep, and Onyankopon surprised him one day having bound them into a journal for him. It helped bring him out of the seemingly endless nightmares he had at the time after all that happened. He reread some of her words every night, and was met with restful, dreamless sleep. She wasn’t even on this earth anymore yet she was still saving him.

The two toddlers suddenly jumped up onto his lap breaking him out of his trance. “Uncle Levi, can you please tell us a story??” they chimed together, staring at him with cute little puppy-dog eyes. Levi was taken aback, and knew he’d be bad at this but he couldn’t refuse them. He nodded.

“Yay!!!” They yelled in unison. They both sat on either side of him on the couch and stared up at him with eager eyes.

Levi thought for a little bit, and began to speak:

“Once upon a time there were two best friends. They were the strongest heroes everyone knew. They climbed giant walls and looked at the vast lands in front of them from the top of it, knowing it’d all be theirs once they defeated the big, bad titans!”

The two kids gasped, and Levi tried not to laugh.

“Yes, they’d jump around climbing the necks of the big bad titans and would...” He should probably not say they slashed them up right?”

“They jumped on their necks and cast a spell and they’d disappear! They did this for many years until all of them were finally gone. The two best friends were happy and searched for more land to see and explore until they found the big blue ocean. Water that was salty and laid home to many creatures both friendly and dangerous. Now there were more bad guys on the other side of the ocean but they were a little different than titans, and they looked like you and me so it was much harder to defeat them. So the two best friends tried to find a way to win. They went on adventures together trying to figure out their secrets until they almost died trying to do that.”

Levi hesitated.

“And one day one of the best friends asked the other if they wanted to live in the forest together, and leave their younger, smart and powerful comrades to defeat the bad guys. And the other best friend said yes. Their comrades won the battle and the two best friends lived happily ever after in the forest. The end.”

“That was a horrible story to tell kids, wasn’t it?” he thought. He was ready to see their confused looks but was surprised at what he saw.

He looked down at the two children, who nuzzled their heads into his lap and were now fast asleep. Jean’s kid snored loudly and drooled over his pants, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight. “Oh Hange, I wish you could be here too...” Levi said aloud. He felt tears well up behind his eyes but he blinked them away.

His mind went to the last page of his book of Hange’s notes:

“I hope Levi could live a long life and be happy for the rest of his days. Nothing brings me more joy than seeing him experience happiness behind his dumb scowl. And Levi if you come across this someday, remember that I love you and goddammit try to smile or something in front of someone other than me!”

Levi of course memorized these words, and repeated them in his head as he ran his fingers softly through the children’s hair as they slept.

“Stupid four-eyes,” he thought. He breathed in memories of her and promised he’d try to live the rest of his days happily and smiling just as she wished for him.

(thanks for the ask anon, this was quite therapeutic to write. sorry i think i got a bit carried away, hope u like it 💕)

edit: part 2

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jinruihokankeikaku · 2 years

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So, I wasn't initially big on this project (I liked the original ending of SnK just fine for what it was, and generally don't have a super high opinion of the AnR Ending theory) but given how elaborate and high-profile it's become, I decided to check it out when the 3rd chapter dropped yesterday.

I'm happy to report that it's Pretty Good Actually!! So far, at least. The original soundtrack and art are high-quality, the writing is decent, and...frankly, three chapters in, I am in fact excited to see where the plot ends up going!!

Even if I might not entirely agree with the guiding sentiment / narrative behind the project, I've gotta acknowledge the dedication behind the team - from creating a soundtrack and drawing all-original art for the panels, to translating the text into several languages, it's an impressive endeavor.

#and as an Evangelion fan...how could i say no to Another Ending to a story i enjoyed. lol.#snk #anr

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arminbitchlover · 3 years

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the moon is beautiful, isn't it? (1)

pairing: connie springer x gn! reader

content warnings: mention of vomit, blood, angst, & death

summary: chapter 138 spoilers / you and connie have been in love for years, falling for each other at the exact same moments. one night, connie tries to hint his feelings towards you on top of utgard's castle, but you don't catch it, so connie shrugs it off. a few years later, during the rumbling, connie decides that it's finally time to admit how he feels.

song recommendations : the swans by: camille saint-saëns, gymnopédie no. 1 by: erik satie, nocturne no. 2 in e flat op.9 no. 2 by: frédéric chopin, and mia and sebastian's theme by: justin hurwitz

word count 4.1k

DO NOT POST/SHARE ANY PART OF MY WORK ON TIKTOK

This is the end.

You lay on the stone floor atop Utgard castle, gazing at the stars while reminiscing on all the memories you made with your friends.

Everything is becoming too much for you; nobody knows how titans are infiltrating the walls if there's no breach, you still have no idea where Eren, Mikasa, and Armin are, and now you're left with no ODM gear to fight in case titans were to take over your refuge.

You feel completely utterly useless.

"It was a good run," You mutter to yourself, feeling the lump in your throat get stronger.

You're not ready to give it all up, your life as a scout was just about to begin. You've met so many people that mean so much to you, especially him.

You won't ever forget when you first met him; Sasha introduced him as her bestfriend and you instantly fell in love with everything about him; his eyes, his voice, his laugh, and his sense of humor, just everything about him is absolutely perfect.

You continue your search for constellations amongst the stars, trying to distract your mind from the harsh reality.

"Hey." You hear a voice come from the door and you turn to have your eyes meet with golden brown orbs.

It's him.

"Connie." You sit up, moving your legs close to your chest with your jacket spread across them.

You feel your face start to heat up as he gets closer to you. You could never understand why he has such an effect on you, he could do the slightest thing and your heart will always skip a beat.

"Mind if I sit?" He walks towards you, one of his hands scratching the back of his neck.

"Be my guest." You gesture on the empty spot next to you, feeling your heartbeat start to quicken as you immediately catch his scent while he settles in next to you.

You glance down and see that your hands are only an inch maybe centimeters apart; god, how bad you wanted to hold it to make you feel better. You look back up, worried that he may have seen but notice that his gaze is fixated on the stars.

"Beautiful, right?" You move your focus back to the night sky.

Almost as beautiful as him.

"Sure beats this shithole," He chuckles.

"Yeah, it sure does..." You trail off, looking back down to the floor while fidgeting with your fingers.

Silence thickens between the two of you, but not the awkward kind when nobody knows what to say, rather the kind that just wants to savor each other's presence. You enjoy it, worried that if you were to say something you might burst into tears from panic, anger, confusion, and sadness.

“...Christa told me you were up here.” He turns to you, sharing a sympathetic look.

“Yeah, I- um told her I would spend some time here for a bit before sleeping.” You take in a deep breath and rub the back of your neck.

You didn't dare overload Connie with your feelings. It wasn't because you thought he would shove them under the rug or tell you to suck it up, but you were fully aware what he was going through as well.

“We’re going to be okay, you know.” He reads you like a book, seeing through your calm demeanor and knowing you were just a ball of anxiety ready to burst at any moment.

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"We're going to be okay, you know." Connie laughs, helping you undo your ODM gear.

"Ugh, I wish! This training will be the death of me, I swear." You giggle and place your gear on the table.

You love the way he makes you smile. Even when your body is on the verge of extreme fatigue and exhaustion, he somehow always made you feel a bit better about the whole situation.

"If it makes you feel any better, we're finally having a hot dinner." He places his gear next to yours and you both walk to the dining room.

"As great as that does sound, I just need to get this gunk and sweat off of me." You feel disgusted with yourself, thinking about the number of hours you spent outdoors in the heat.

"Yeah that too, you smell like a Titan just threw up on you," He playfully jokes, already speeding up his pace as he knows what's about to come next.

"Asshole!" You laugh and chase him down the hall.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

It was strange, you could be on opposite sides of the world, but he always knows if something was bothering you, like an invisible tether always kept the two of you in sync.

“You don't know that, Connie.” Your eyes start to get glossy, looking back up to try and hold back your tears.

You can't understand why everything in your life has to end up so shitty. For once you just want to save lives and be the hero that everyone needed after the Shiganshina incident, but you can't even do that.

“Y/n.” He scoots closer to you, gently pulling your head to his chest as he lightly traces your back.

You hold your breath and become stiff as you hear Connie’s heartbeat. Fuck, you'll never get used to this, no matter how many times it happens. Having him comfort you when everything was going wrong and assuring you not to worry and that it was all going to work out, made you forget all your problems for a moment.

"No regrets though, right?" He lightens up the mood with an inside joke.

"No regrets." You smile and feel yourself melt into his embrace.

You love the way he makes you feel, whether you're upset, sad, frustrated, or maybe just hungry, he always finds a way to make your day not so shitty.

“Why are you doing this?” You ask while you bury your head into his chest, feeling like this is too good to be true.

You feel his chest stop moving and his arm stay still. Silence once again takes over and lingers in the air.

"I mean, after what you found out about your family, I-" He cuts you off.

“I… just really care about you.” And he isn’t lying, he cares about you more than you could imagine.

What you didn't know was that he has been in love with you ever since the day Sasha introduced you as a member of her training squad. He adores everything about you: your voice, your lips, the way your eyes lit up when you ramble about things you're passionate about, and your wits, just everything about you is absolutely perfect.

It didn't take him long to realize he had fallen head over heels for you months ago, but he couldn't tell you. There's no possible way in his eyes for everything to work out if he tells you. He knows the risks of everyone’s lives when it comes to being a scout. He can't bear the thought of becoming more attached to you than he already is and know that he might not have you the next day.

“I care about you too.” You hide your wide grin, relishing this moment for as long as you could.

“Y-You do?” Connie chokes, causing you to pull away and make eye contact.

“Of course I do, why wouldn't I?” You immediately inhale a sharp breath, scared that you may have said something wrong.

‘I need to do it now.’ Connie’s thoughts start to cloud his mind. ‘If this is it, I need her to know.’

“I just… I don't know. Forget it.” He opens up his arm again, inviting you back into his chest.

You brush it off, not wanting to ruin what you already have, and lean back into him. You start copying his breathing, finding comfort that you never thought you would never find again.

You close your eyes for bit, trying your best to memorize everything in the moment. The material of his shirt, his warm skin against yours, the light breeze that hits your face, everything.

“The uh- the moon is beautiful, isn't it?” He quietly stammers, and you immediately feel his heartbeat begin to pound and so does yours.

It can't be.

You know exactly what that means, but does he? Was he just saying that because the full moon that illuminates the hills genuinely looks beautiful? He has to be, right? This night was already beginning to feel like a dream, there’s no way he means what you want it to.

“Yeah, I guess.” You wince as you hear the words fall from your mouth.

You sit in silence yet again, but this time filled with unwanted tension. While your head is spinning with a million thoughts, Connie can't help but feel anger with himself. Why couldn't he just come out and say it? Did you not know what he meant or did you really just reject him?

"It's getting a bit cold, so I'm gonna head inside. You coming?" You put on your jacket, avoiding eye contact to hide the tears that were on the verge of falling down your face.

"Nah, I'm going to um- stay up here a bit." He clears his throat and kees his gaze fixated to the moon.

"Oh alright, well goodnight, Connie." You weakly smile and walk away.

"Goodnight, y/n." He whispers, not loud enough for you to hear.

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chapter 138 spoilers

"Y/n, we need to go get Armin, now." Mikasa snaps you out of your thoughts.

"But Connie? He has to be near here somewhere, I-I just know it." Panic sinks in as you scan through the battle of the titan shifters to find your lover.

"Y/N SNAP OUT OF IT!" You slightly jump and turn to her, her face becoming flushed with red.

"Sh- Sorry, right, Armin." You shake your head, covering Mikasa as she makes her way towards the pig-type titan.

It's been 4 years ever since that night on Utgard's castle and you remember every second of it. A day never went by when you didn't think back to that moment and wonder what could've been if you had said something different, but you couldn't and you hate yourself for that.

Nothing changed between the two of you, if anything you feel a lot closer than before. You or Connie never address that night, as if it never happened, and you were somewhat fine with that. It hurts that your gut feeling of him not having feelings for you was accurate, but that's okay, because you would always still have him by your side even if it was just a close friendship.

"Y/N!" You look behind you and see him coming at you at full speed.

"CONNIE!" You feel a bit of weight being lifted off your shoulders, seeing only one visible injury.

He joins you side by side to defend Mikasa, noticing the number of titan shifters making their way towards you was too much for you to handle.

"Are you okay?" Connie defends you as you briskly check the state of your weapons.

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"Are you okay?" Connie rushes to your side, inspecting the cut on your cheek.

"Yeah, I just have to be more careful with the branches." You wince as you feel his finger graze your injury.

"Well, we're definitely not racing anymore." He looks into your eyes and smiles.

"You're just saying that cause you know I'm better with ODM gear." You giggle and get back up, brushing off the dirt that caught on your equipment.

"You wish!" He blasts off, not giving you a chance to ready up again.

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"MIKASA HURRY!" Your anxiety starts rushing through you, ignoring Connie's question as you notice your blades were on the verge of giving out.

You see her make a quick glance towards you before zooming towards the titan that trapped Armin and quickly slices his jaw open. Before you know it, you see Connie soar in your peripheral vision to the tongue that entangled Armin and slice him free.

"ANNIE!" Connie screams out, making his way back to you and wrapping his arm around your waist.

You feel the tiny butterflies you always get when he's near you and admire his perfections for a second.

"I'm getting us out of here," He assures you as he looks into your eyes, instantly melting all the worry and panic that stirred up inside you.

"O-Okay." You whisper, the wind harshly hitting your face as Connie moves both of you to the top of Eren's titan, getting Falco's attention.

While Falco flies his way towards you, you gaze upon everything that is going on around you. You start feeling overwhelmed again, too much was going on at once. You see Jean and Pieck trying to make their way towards the Founding Titan's head but get trampled by shifters, Annie holding Armin as he recovers, and Levi and Gabi shooting their gun at every titan.

"What is- is happening?" Your voice cracks and you hang your head low with your eyes shut.

"We should've fucking known ever since Eren decided to infiltrate Marley, but it's okay. We're okay." He gives you a weak smile and a slight squeeze on your waist for reassurance.

Falco reaches the both of you and board his back with Levi and Gabi.

"Are you guys okay?" You can slightly hear the concern in Levi's monotone voice.

"Yeah, we're fine," Connie answers, completely disregarding the gash that was dripping blood on his forehead.

"We need to help Jean and Pieck." You chime in, watching them struggle their way to the neck.

"No, we-" Levi cuts himself off when he hears his name being called out by a familiar male voice.

The five of you see a blonde man with only half a body attached to one of the Founding Titan's ribs.

Zeke.

While you see his lips moving, you can't make out what he's saying. He begins waving around his arms, successfully capturing Levi's attention, but in a blink of an eye, he's dead.

Levi decapitated him.

You hear a slight gasp come from Gabi's mouth and immediately see tears start to swell up. You quickly pull her into a hug, rubbing her back as you try to soothe her.

"It's okay, Gabi. We're okay." You whisper in her ear, slightly rocking back and forth.

While you didn't know or care for Zeke much, you know how much Gabi saw him as another father, an uncle.

"I-I need my- my parents." She hiccups into your chest.

You can't imagine what's going through her mind. All of her plans to become a warrior and making her family proud was all gone. You remember what that felt like, thinking throughout your whole life that titans were your enemy and Eren would be the solution for it all, but you couldn't have been more wrong.

"I promise, I'll get them to you." You bury her head into your chest and stay still, forgetting where you are for a second.

You and Gabi share a weird relationship, especially after everything that happened with Sasha, but you were somewhat like the older sibling she never had. You nurture her when things become too overwhelming or when she was worried someone would kill Falco for her doing. It was strange for you at first, caring for someone who you thought was the enemy, but was really just a twelve year old girl who was taught the wrong things, all to be treated as a 'good Eldian'.

"The- The rumbling stopped." You turn to Connie and furrow your eyebrows.

"Wha-"

"He's right, look." Gabi points to the titans that were completely still in place, but the titan shifters were still moving in battle.

Bizarre.

"JEAN! PIECK! GO!" Levi's yell snaps you out of your thoughts, watching him fly back to Falco's titan.

You feel your heart start to pound and chest begin to tighten. This is the moment that would define the rest of your life. If Jean and Pieck weren't successful, then there's nothing left for you. Everything you and the scouts worked for would be done, ruined, over.

"God, let Jean be okay." You hear Connie mumble under his breath.

"He will." You instinctively grab his hand and give him a slight nod.

He nods back and you both turn back and watch Jean soar to the head with the TNT box. You feel him squeeze your hand, becoming more anxious as seconds passed.

"STUPID LITTLE SUICIDAL BLOCKHEAD," Jean screams at the top of his lungs, before setting off the bomb that decapitated the Founding Titan's head.

You keep your eyes on Jean, making sure that nothing is seriously wrong and to your relief, he's unharmed.

"JEAN," Connie cries out, tears streaming down his face from alleviation.

He immediately pulls you in for a hug, causing your face to start heating up. While this wasn't the first time you and Connie hugged, it always makes you feel like it's your first all over again. You wrap your arms around him, savoring this moment for what thankfully feels like an eternity. You feel his body heat radiate against yours, warming you up from the cold winds that coat you.

In the corner of your eye, you see Reiner struggling with the cord that connects with the Founding Titan's head. Wrapping his arms and slamming it to the base of the ribcage, holding it down for as long as possible.

"Shit, it's going back for the head. ARMIN, NOW," Levi commands, stirring Falco to Jean and Pieck.

God you hate what's about to come next. The loud noise, the bright light, the endless destruction that's always created, and the lost lives were things you loathe to witness.

"JEAN! PIECK! ARMIN'S GOING TO BLOW THESE BONES TO PIECES! WE NEED TO GET AWAY QUICK!" Connie reaches his hand out, pulling both of them onto Falco's back as Annie and Mikasa make their way as well.

"But Reiner-" Pieck cuts Jean off.

"The Armored Titan should be able to withstand the Colossal Titan's explosion. And most of all, Reiner's prepared for the consequences."

Her words feel like a stab in the chest to everyone listening. Even though Reiner was a traitor in the beginning of this mess, it doesn't take away the great memories you made with everyone and the thought of maybe losing him too was a lot to take in.

"She's right, Jean. We need to go." You put a hand on his shoulder, trying to give him some type of support as you hope that your words help you too.

"Y-Yeah, of course." He slightly shakes his head as Falco flies away.

While you're hundreds of feet in the air, all of your eyes are glued to the titan shifters, watching Armin's explosion destroy everything in its way, including the monsters that fought you and your friends. Although the sight wasn't pleasant in the slightest, you can't help but notice the pit that you had in your stomach was gone.

"Is this it?" You weakly smile, feelings of ease and nervousness begin to overpower everything else.

You haven't felt this much hope in years. The deaths of your fallen comrades weren't in vain; it meant something now.

"See, I told you we would be okay, y/n." He wrapped his arms around your shoulders, leaning his head against yours.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

"See, I told you we would be okay, y/n." Connie grins as you put on your new Survey Corps jacket.

"Geez, I never thought I would ever see the day." You admire yourself, not knowing that Connie's doing the same thing.

You feel nothing but excitement when the leather hits your skin. All the hours, blood, sweat, and tears you put into your training was all worth it. You can finally be the hero you've always wanted to be.

"Well, here we are." He lightly pats your back and chuckles.

"Yeah, here we are." You hand him his new jacket and admire how great he looks as a new scout.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

"You're always right," You giggle, snaking your arms around his waist and holding him a bit too tightly.

You both bask in each other's presence, enjoying the thought of planning out your new future. As you close your eyes and enjoy the breeze, Connie can't help but adore how perfect you look in his arms. Every time you share a moment like this, he can't help but get flashbacks from that night. He knows how badly he messed up, he should've just straightforwardly said what he always wants to confess to you but he couldn't and he hates himself for that.

He can't recall what number this was for all the times both of your lives were at risk. The times he would forget what his mission was and sought out for you if he lost sight of you. It always takes him back to the same thought, 'You have to tell them before the day comes that you can't.' It's an ongoing battle with his mind and he always comes back to the same conclusion, 'I can't get more attached, not if there's a possibility I could lose them tomorrow.'

But no, this time he feels different, he senses that something's different about this. He suddenly feels queasiness and pulls away from you. 'No, no more hiding it.'

"Is everything okay, Connie?" You feel his body tense up as you give him a concerned look.

"No, it's not, y/n, I've been needing to tell you something, for a while now actually." He scratches the back of his neck and avoids making eye contact.

"What's wrong..?" You trail off, having your mind go a million miles per hour.

"Nothing- Nothing terrible but, y/n-"

"MY PARENTS," Gabi yells out, pointing at the crowd below you.

You and Connie snap out of your conversation, leaning over to the side and see a group of people staring up at Falco.

He lands his titan and Gabi immediately flees into the arms of her parents, Pieck doing the same with her father. You can't help but feel a bit of happiness after all of this, Jean stopped the rumbling, Armin killed off Eren, and all the people you love are safe from this never-ending war.

"We did the right thing, didn't we? I mean with what we did to Eren." You change your focus back to Connie.

"Of course we did, look at the amount of lives we saved, y/n. So, no regrets, right?" He playfully collides his shoulder with yours.

"No regrets." You smile and make your way towards Jean.

Your heart always skips a beat when he says that, you think of it as your own little thing that only you two share. Every time you feel like everything in your life is going wrong, he always reminds you that even if things were to go to shit it would be okay because you have no regrets.

"Can't believe I did that," Jean mumbles, still in a state of shock.

"You did what you had to, Jean." You console him as Connie chimes in.

"Don't bring yourself down, Eren brought this among himself."

You can never forgive Eren for what did over the years. It was apparent from the beginning, but you were to naive and filled with hope to see it. Now, this is different, you lost some of the most important people in your life for his doing. There's no going back from that.

"Y-Yeah, you're right." He brings the two of you in for a group hug, leaving a space in the middle for Sasha.

"She would be proud of us, you know?" You feel a tear run down your cheek as you speak.

Fuck, you miss her so much. All the fun and stupid memories you made with her flash through your mind. All the way back to your first moments meeting her, Connie holding her back from eating all the meat during dinner; to your final moments together, cheering for a successful raid on Liberio.

"She is." Connie corrects you, a smile forms across his face.

"Yeah, she is." Jean starts tearing up, grateful for another day to be alive.

"REINER," Gabi screams, causing the three of you to interrupt your moment and go by the ledge and see something you never thought you would.

You see the centipede that Jean exploded continue to move as if nothing ever affected it. Luckily, Reiner and Armin's titans look unharmed, but you immediately feel the pit in your stomach start to come back.

"See Gabi, he's fine, ever-" Connie gets cut off by another extreme explosion.

You feel nauseous as you see what emerges.

"He-He's alive?" Your voice trembles, all the hope and happiness you just shared obliviates in a second.

Eren's titan.

"No way." Connie gasps, his body starts to shake with fear.

"What do we do now?" Mikasa's voice cracks, wanting everything to come to an end.

You can't believe it. Every fucking time you think that everything will finally work out for you, something always changes. You always end up losing someone, witnessing things that no one should ever be forced to see, and always feel empty in the end.

"We can't let Eren come into contact with the shining thing! Who knows what'll happen!" Gabi tries to pull everyone's focus back into the war and luckily, it works.

"She's right, we have to kill that thing, no matter what." Connie's voice becoming slightly deeper at the end of his sentence.

"Don't you get it? How can we kill a thing that survived Armin's explosion? We need to go for Eren." Levi's command lingers in the air.

"There has to be another way. AGH!" Mikasa starts gasping for air as she starts tightly gripping her head.

Before you could go by Mikasa's side, you notice smoke coming from afar. You don't think much of it, just assuming it was debris from the explosion, but no.

You scan everyone's faces, instantly seeing some of your comrades faces turn into pure terror. This couldn't be what they think it is. This isn't how it's supposed it, how it's supposed to end. It has to be some kind of machine malfunction that's just giving out tons of smoke. It has to be something else than the thing you fear most.

"Isn't this smoke the same thing they did.. at Ragako?" Connie's face becomes overwhelmed with horror and anguish.

"N-No..." You fall to your knees and bury your hands to your face, not being able to come to terms with what's going to happen next.

This is the end.

"Hey, Hey, look at me." Connie's voice never sounding so calm before.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

"Hey, Hey, look at me." Connie wraps his arms around you as tears cascade down your cheeks and soak his shirt.

"Wh- Why her?" You hiccup, feeling your chest begin to tighten and your head spin from hours of crying.

Your best friend's dead.

You can't hug her anymore, tell her any scouts gossip, or scold her when she stole your food. You can't go to her room in the middle of the night and have her comfort you when your nightmares felt too real. She's gone, forever.

"I wish I had an answer for you... shit-" He starts breaking down right in front of you, both of you begin to cry in each other's arms.

You hate this, fucking hate this. You've dealt with the deaths of your squad members and scouts but nothing like the way you feel right now.

You need to escape, you need to get rid of these awful feelings that were eating you up inside, but no matter how much you may want to escape this shithole with the only person you love, you can't.

"B-But we still have each other, right?" Connie's voice trembles, his grip becoming tighter, thinking if he lets go he'll somehow lose you too.

"Always."

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

He grabs your chin and leaves your faces just inches apart. All of the yelling and cries drown out as you solely focus on your soulmate.

"No regrets, right?" He wipes your tears away with his thumb.

"No regrets." You barely let a whisper, savoring his embrace one last time.

You feel a hand touch your shoulder and you look up to see Jean, seemingly relaxed.

"So this is how it ends for us." Connie brings Jean into your hug.

"Guess so," Jean replies, acting as if this wasn't the end.

"You know I blame both of you for all this, making me end up with the job of saving humanity." You joke, making the most of your final moment with your best friends.

"Yeah yeah, and take that to your grave." Jean chuckles as he slightly squeezes Connie's shoulder.

Connie glances Jean a confused look, seemingly not aware of the next few seconds. Immediately his eyes widen, finally accepting that this was it for you and him, and he never got to tell you.

"Y/n, there's something I need to tell b-before this is all over. Something I-I should've told you years ago." He speeds up his words, slightly stumbling.

"Yes?" Your heart drops to your stomach and you can't help but wonder if he was going to tell you what you've been waiting for since the day you met him.

"Y/n I-"

a/n : yes, i took some direct quotes from 138 & yes, i switched up dialogue between characters and actions from the book to make more sense with the reader.

#tw: death #aot chapter 138 #aot spoilers #snk spoilers #snk chapter 138 #connie springer x reader #connie springer #aot x gn!reader #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #connie springer x gn! reader #tw: blood #aot x reader

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super-peace-fangirl · 3 years

Text

I've recently seen some misinterpretations regarding this scene so I wanted to share my thoughts.

The criticism, which I personally find so unfair and wrong considering Levi's character arc in the final battle mostly revolves around: "Levi didn't even care about leaving the kids behind to the point he ordered Mikasa, Pieck and Falco to depart without any final/farewell words to Jean, Connie, etc" or "I knew it!!! Levi only cared about killing Zeke post-time skip. It was obvious he's gonna have NO motivation to fight"

I'm going to explain both claims from my own perspective.

1) About the first one, I think it is important to remember Levi's rational motivation in such critical moment. So the situation is as the following >>> The alliance figuring out the steam released from the hallucigenia is poisonous just like Zeke's spinal fluids and as many pointed out the reason there was suspect of them turning into titans came from the fact hallucigenia is the source of the titan power so it only makes sense for Levi to believe the Eldians exposed to the steam would transform immediately after. Did they have time to process the situation? No. Did they even have time to say goodbye? Hell no! It only took Levi, Mikasa, Falco & Pieck a few minutes before their comrades/families were titanized right before their eyes. There was absolutely no time for hesitation and as I've seen some people mentioned as well Levi was the only one who thought rationally and was able to make such decision in that moment. Was it painful for him? Of course it was! Was it hard for him to leave his comrades behind once again without even being able to say goodbye? SURE IT WAS!

Is this the face of a person who doesn't care about leaving his family? I'm gonna leave the obvious answer to you guys.

Now let's get back to even the more logical part. You gotta ask yourself why Levi decided what he did. Had Levi, Mikasa, Falco & Pieck aka the last hopes of humanity's survival been caught in a horde of titans and eaten then who were going to defeat Eren? Marleyans who didn't even have enough cannons to face Eren (oh well the cannons had no effect on the founding titan either way) or Armin was supposed to take him down single-handedly? Think about it, who else but all these people together could kill Eren?

It's also worth mentioning what Levi tells Mikasa right after they had to abandon their comrades and people

"We're the only ones that can kill Eren"

I think this part's even more proof of Levi's rational decision. Do I not love Jean and Connie? Of course I do. I'm not gonna lie, I'm still in denial about what happened to them and I'm hoping there's a way they'll revert back to being humans and if they really die I personally will find their deaths meaningless at this point of the story. However, I understand that they had no time for emotional talk. They had to defeat Eren and end this nightmare as soon as possible.

2) Now regarding the second claim, I think there are already many great meta writers who pointed out the obvious but I'm just gonna leave some panels and notes to emphasize how much such criticism about Levi's not but a misinterpretation.

Let's get back to chapter 135 where Levi literally told Mikasa he will act as bait in order for them to defeat the titans the founder Ymir sent their way

He knew Zeke's still alive somewhere from Hanji's words so if he only cared about killing him why would he try to sacrifice his life for the kids to proceed with their plans before taking down the monke?

Levi risking his life to save Jean's in the same chapter right after the above panel

"Levi's all about killing Zeke at this point. He doesn't care about his kids any longer" is what the criticism says. I don't think I need to explain this further because the panel is proof enough how much he cares for his kids.

Right after saving Jean Levi's injuries worsen but he still continues fighting to protect them

The reason for his leg injury is saving Connie

And lastly, about him caring for humanity

"We're doing both"

Levi's the first person who actually said they have to kill Eren and save Armin among the corps. If he only cared about killing Zeke why would he suggest they have to consider both options? Why would he repeat himself in the very recent chapter again (about killing Eren) in order to end this nightmare? As I've said many times before Levi could've killed Zeke and fulfilled his promise a long time ago but he prevented himself from doing so because he assumed keeping Zeke alive was the best option for saving humanity.

Bottom line Levi’s promise to Erwin was never even about mere revenge. The man said it himself, “I will give meaning to your deaths” and he’s only able to do that through saving humanity. I’m not saying he didn’t hate Zeke considering all the suffering Zeke brought to Levi’s comrades. However, it is important to remember Levi was always ready to give up on killing him if his existence benefitted humanity. Killing Zeke wasn’t his sole purpose in life as some like to put it.

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