#so this is just my humble uneducated opinion
Text
Yours Absolutely
Denji (Chainsawman) x Reader
Quote: "Fall in love by connecting with the heart of another."
Let’s set the scene, it’s fall play season
Actors flood the hall
Through audition drama, vocal running
Our two names are called
“(L/n), (Y/n).” The young girl at the front of the room calls out into the crowded room. She has a clipboard clutched tight to her chest as she searches the room for the owner of the aforementioned name.
People are sitting shoulder to shoulder pouring over scripts, quietly reciting lines to themselves just barely louder than a whisper, and nervously shaking as they await for their name to be called next.
Denji finds himself to be in the latter of people, subconsciously bouncing his leg back and forth as he stares up at the ticking clock.
How boring.
Denji, no last name given, had lived most of his life by the whims of others. Being tossed around haphazardly as if he were an object instead of a person. It was, by all accounts, a pathetic life. And sure, Denji knew that his life wasn’t a good one but he didn’t exactly have any means of escape. One could even say that he didn’t even have any reference frame for what a ‘good life’ accounted for.
He was, for lack of simple terms, brash and naive. Uneducated.
So imagine his surprise when he was approached by an Idol Agency and offered a full ride scholarship just because he could carry a tune better than most. Oh, and in his own humble opinion, was a brilliant dancer.
The only issue was that his personality needed a little bit of work.
Oh well.
That’s why people learned how to act, right?
And he’d eventually meet someone that liked him for his personality, right?
Right?
The young girl from earlier with the clipboard slowly makes her way back to the front of the room, looking down at the clipboard for a second, looking up then looking back down again before calling out, “Denji.”
Upon meeting you, I knew
I’d win the part but lose my cool
So they cast us as the lovebirds
And my heart, alas, the fool
Denji follows the young girl with the clipboard into the audition room hunched over and with his hands stuffed in his pockets.
Denji was a reasonably accomplished singer. His small group, consisting of Aki, Power and himself, had gained a steady following on social media. They’d even had a song or two make it to the top of the poll charts. With their upcoming success, Makima, their manager, had decided it was time to start making waves in other parts of the Idol industry. For Denji that specifically meant plays. They had considered modeling, but Denji didn’t exactly have the face for that. Besides, singing was basically acting, right?
It’s not as if Makima would be upset if he didn’t get a major role anyway.
He’d already been bypassed at three other auditions and cast as a Townsperson B for a fourth. What would another side role be?
The young girl gives him a once over and sighs before announcing his name to the small group sitting together at the front of the stage.
Denji’s eyes land on you, (L/n) (Y/n), first.
It’s hard not to notice you.
You’re enchanting. Brilliant. Practically gravitational as you give him a warm smile and hold your hand out at him.
He’s pretty sure you’re introducing yourself to him but he can barely make out your words as you shake his hand with that warm smile, your bright eyes looking up at him.
He’s heard of you before. Makima’s said one thing or another about you. Something about a generational talent? He isn’t too sure. Wasn’t paying much attention at the time to her words, instead preferring to admire her visage. Not that the information about you would have mattered much in the first place. Afterall, Denji, before even having met you, had decided he would do everything in his power to make you dislike him.
If you disliked him then you were less likely to join their Agency and less likely to steal away Makima’s attention.
You brush back a loose strand of hair as you begin to recite the lines the director asked you to.
And damn.
You’re hot.
There go Denji’s plans.
It’s a no-chance showmance
I don’t mix work with pleasure
You sway my stance
It’s unprofessional
I know that we can’t
But I’m drawn to your trance
“You’re here early, Denji.” You say, your voice soft as you hang your coat up and take a seat beside him.
Denji grins, “I got lost.”
You raise a delicate brow, “so you found yourself here accidentally?”
“Bang!” Denji shaped his hands into playful finger guns and raised them as if he just released a bullet or two, “right on the money!”
You laughed softly, “very you.”
He feels his cheeks warm at your laughter and has to force himself to look away lest you see the bright red blush upon his cheeks.
Who’d have thought that Denji would finally get cast as the male lead in the school play? Makima apparently was the only one not surprised when he brought them the news. They said he was chosen because of his chemistry with you. The play director, like most people, was enamoured with your performance and cast the rest of the play around you. Choosing people that would do their best to help you shine; and it seems that Denji seemed to fit that spot best if his role in the play meant anything.
When Denji finally works up the courage to look at you again he sees that you’ve fished a notebook from your bag and began scribbling notes.
He feigns a yawn, reaching his arm up before he subtly attempts to wrap it around you.
“Denji?”
He snaps his arm back, “yes? What? I was totally listening.” Startled slightly as you looked up at him.
You give him a curious look before smiling gently, “I was wondering if you wanted to run lines before the rest of the cast gets here?”
“Yes.” Denji nods dramatically, “definitely.”
He hates running lines.
“Places in five”
Tickets to my demise
I’m passionately panicking
Falling or I’m fangirling
Why, why must we read these lines?
Admiring you is amateur
Call me out of character
Denji’s arms are wrapped around your legs gently as you rest your head on his back. Your arms, which are loosely hanging around his neck, are warm. Almost a little clammy. Your breath is warm against the back of his neck and his heart is beating, erracting, threatening to beat out of his chest.
Your hold around him softens as you laugh, “Denji.”
Your voice is soft as you say his name. So warm and gentle. Denji’s certain he’s never heard someone say his name in such a way before and it sends his heart racing. It feels so different from how everyone else says it. Sounds better than when anyone else says it.
“(Y/n).” He says in response, slowly and calmly in hopes of masking the erratic beating of his ever treacherous heart.
“That’s not my name.” You say.
“It isn’t? But it’s what everyone calls you.”
“It’s my name, but it’s not my real name. It’s what my mother wanted to call me but my father said otherwise.”
Denji laughs softly, “and what would you like me to call you?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
“I want to be your tomorrow.” You hum, nuzzling into the back of his neck, “I want to be all your tomorrows.”
…
…
…
“Um, Denji,” your voice is warm but doesn't hold the same sugary sweetness from just seconds before.
Denji raises his head, as he carries you away from the view of the audience “hm?”
“You missed your line.”
“Oh shoot!”
We’re backstage for a quick change
And I catch you sneak a glimpse
There’s no cameras, no cast around
Our faces dimly lit
The lights are much dimmer backstage as Denji scrambles to throw the rest of his suit on. Whoever thought putting the dance scene right after the school scene deserves to be thrown in jail. Nothing less of the harshest of punishments, Denji thinks as he buttons his blazer up.
No, he takes that back.
The real person that should get in trouble is the one that decided a blazer like this would be the one that they choose to use.
All the little buttons do nothing but frustrate him further.
Whatever.
He’s not going to button it up at all. It’ll look better like this anyways. Fits the ‘cool’ vibe he’s given his character.
Who cares if the director gives him shit later.
Denji looks up, letting out a deep sigh.
In that second his eyes meet with yours.
You look away quickly.
Damn.
You really are so cute.
I won’t make a move, I’ll claim I’m clueless
When our friends make jokes
But I swear you playing with my hair’s not
What the author wrote
“Say, (Y/n),” one of your friend’s teases, “is there anything going on between you and,” she points to Denji who’s standing a little off the the side talking with his own friends. Well, he’s not exactly talking to his friends, he’s eavesdropping on your conversation, but they’re talking to each other in front of him.
You’ve got three friends, or at least three friends that came to watch the show tonight.
A black haired boy who Denji might’ve mistaken for Aki if not for the way his hair sticks up haphazardly in every direction; a brown haired girl who clings to your arm as she teases you about one thing or another; and a pink haired boy.
Denji guesses they seem alright.
Thinks he could’ve even been friends with them if not for the way the pink haired boy keeps looking over at you.
“Denji?” You say his name ever so softly. Denji thinks that if he could he would just melt into a puddle on the floor in hopes that you might one day step on him.
“Yeah!”
“We’re friends,” you hum, a teasing lit to your voice.
“Did someone say my name?” Denji asks, popping up behind you and propping his head atop of yours.
You smile, “speak of the devil.”
He pushes a strand of hair behind your ear.
If only you knew.
It’s a no-chance showmance
But as our bodies breathe
Together in the final dance
Audience evanesces
Reason be damned, you’re not far from my man
The dress you’re wearing swirls around you in bright colours, catching the eye of everyone on stage.
Denji thinks that even if you were dressed in rags, everyone's eyes would only be on you. He’d make certain of it.
Of everything, what likely pushed Denji into the starring role he earned in the play was his ability to dance. Likely the most important part of his character. He spends at least half the play dancing from curtain to curtain. Sometimes spending entire scenes dancing to the whims of your character’s woes. But he likes it that way.
What he prefers.
Knows he catches your attention every time he starts to dance.
Throughout the entire scene, every scene, your eyes will, without a doubt, find their way to him. And he’ll flash you his biggest and brightest smile.
This is the only dance where it’s just the two of you so Denji takes extra care to make sure that you stand out the most. Knows exactly when to do a half step in one direction instead of taking a full one. Knows to maneuver you slightly more to the left during this turn so you can miss that creaky spot on stage despite knowing that the director won’t be too happy. But the director won’t complain, not when everyone’s eyes are drawn to you - practically unable to look away.
“Back on in five”
Tickets to our demise
I’m passionately panicking
�� Falling or I’m fangirling
Why, why do I mean these lines?
Admiring you is amateur
Call me out of character
‘RING’ ‘RING’
‘RING’ ‘RING’
Denji struggles to answer his phone, frantically searching through his different pockets. The ringing is loud and echoes throughout the room.
He glances briefly at the caller ID though doesn't actually see anything as he answers the phone.
“Hello?” Denji answered.
“Denji?”
His heart skipped a beat, “(Y/n)?”
“Where are you?” You asked, your voice loud, clear and out of breath.
“I was out for a run but I’m at the big tree by the cliff. Why? Where are you? You sound out of breath.”
“Really!” You took a deep breath, “that’s good!”
“Is everything okay?”
“Well, do you remember the other day? When we were talking about things we would regret if we never did?” You asked, your voice coming in and out in heavy breaths.
“Yeah?”
“Well I realised what it is that I’d regret.”
“And what’s that?”
“You.” Your voice echoes throughout the room as the music playing in the background suddenly stops. He turns away from the audience and towards you who’s standing beside him, your hands on your knees and your body moving heavily up and down as you attempt to catch your breath.
Am I the Eponine
Or Laura Jean
I need a script for you and me
I want the lead
The harmony to your story
Re-write the plot
Give me the spotlight
A monologue before the curtains fall
Denji’s almost forgotten that he’s standing here on the stage as he stares at you. Your eyes shining as brilliantly as they did when the two of you first met.
You’re so pretty.
Truly a dream.
Denji misses his cue to start again, the musicians improvising quickly and replaying the bar they’d just played in order to accommodate. Another thing he’s going to get in trouble for - but none of that really matters to him. Not when you’re standing here in front of him with such a look in your eyes.
“(Y/n) what’re you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be on a train right now?”
“I” you huffed, “I’d regret never telling you before I go for the rest of my life.”
Denji swallows, “telling me what?”
Then you look up at him and smile. It’s not the kind of smile you’ve given him every time before. This one’s softer. Warmer. Fonder. Dosen’t seem to have the same plastic filter as all the ones before.
And he’s over.
Ruined for life.
Will never be the same.
“I love you.”
I was never acting at all
I was never acting at all
I can’t pretend to pretend
You’re all that I want
‘Cause I was never acting at all
It’s the final scene.
The final act.
The final showing of the play.
The final time he’ll ever get to be here upon a stage with you. Well it might not be the last time but it’s unlikely that it’ll be the same. No guarantee that he’ll manage to steal the starting role alongside you again.
He’s supposed to smile and give you a hug.
Supposed to tell you he loves you back.
He doesn't.
Instead he moves towards you, which surprises you but you manage to hide your surprise keeping it only evident in your eyes as you raise a delicate brow. He tosses the makeshift prop phone in his hand aside and towards the audience.
He thinks it might’ve hit someone in the head.
Wraps his arms around you and pulls you in.
“Denji?” You ask, saying his name in that warm voice. The only voice he likes hearing his name from nowadays.
He doesn't need words for this as he pulls you in and brings your lips to his.
Fall in love by connecting with the heart of another.
---
Song: Never Acting At All
Artist: Melina KB
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🍁🦦🎥?
Hello hi!! Thank you for indulging me!!
what is your favorite color?
Oxblood is my favorite!!! I love it so much.
what is your favorite make-up product?
Fun fact: I don’t wear make-up, even to black tie events or cocktail parties, the most I’ll do is a little foundation and concealer for my nose scar. i am combination too lazy and too unskilled that it (it, meaning my face) usually looks *worse* when I put anything on.
but!!! I love the Drunken Elephant Polypeptide Moisturizer. And!! If you have dry skin, my new tip is to use dandruff shampoo as your facial cleanser! It works better than anything I’ve ever used before and is soooo much cheaper.
what is a cute movie?
I think Moonrise Kingdom is adorable. That’s a movie that just makes me 🥹🥹🥹🥹 it’s Wes Anderson’s best, in my humble and uneducated opinion
what about you???? What is your favorite color? What is a cute movie I should watch?
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ooc. I mentioned before Kaveh having BPD but I think I'll expand a bit more. Though I should note I'm not a medical professional, I'm just mentally ill and have symptoms that can cross over with this illness. This isn't to meant to be a guide on how to diagnose someone with that illness and you should go to a mental health professional for more information.
I'm taking this from the criteria cited on mayoclinic. org
An intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection
Kaveh imagining Alhaitham being a worst person than what he actually is to keep from hurting himself. It's less with other people, but it's still notable.
2. A pattern of unstable intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn't care enough or is cruel
Kaveh's clients dropping him when he's unable to compromise on little things (not the major things as I'd imagine he's reasonable to a certain point). Again his relationship with Alhaitham, he thinks of him as an equal while trashing the man who's given a place to stay, a chance to get himself back up.
3. Rapid changes in self-identity and self-image that include shifting goals and values, and seeing yourself as bad or as if you don't exist at all
This is in how he sees himself as worthy of being called Light Of Kshahrewar. The guilt he carries for telling his father to go and try to win the Interdarshan Championship that ultimately broke his family. He wishes he didn't exist so his parents would've lived happier lives together.
4. Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours
None that can be found in canon as far as I'm aware.
5. Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship
Kaveh is impulsive with his money, putting it down for client's projects (like The Palace of Alcazarzaray), spending money for "charities" (bulk buying the keychains that was supposed to feed Sumeru's hungry children) , and his very apparent alcohol usage. Perhaps currently it's not to the point of addiction but it's getting there for sure. And of course self sabotaging his friendship with Alhaitham during his Akademiya days and currently in present day. As I stated above Kaveh refuses to budge on some changes in his projects which makes clients leave him instead of the other way around.
6. Suicidal threats or behavior or self-injury, often in response to fear of separation or rejection
None that I can see in canon.
7. Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety
Canon is weak on this aspect but it's fair to say he does have low control on his emotions (or rather the intensity of them)
8. Ongoing feelings of emptiness
Maybe in his youth when he left Alhaitham or when Kaveh returned from his trip to Fontaine to see his mother remarry but again canon is weak here.
9. Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights
One could say his reactions to Alhaitham is a bit inappropriate at times but I don't see him getting physical with him. More snippy and sarcastic than actually fighting him.
Since writing the previous post I feel more inclined to say Kaveh has overlapping symptoms as he doesn't want to die per say. More like "not exist" to not harm others. The criteria for getting the diagnosis is also having 5 out of 9 of the symptoms and Kaveh only ticks (in my very uneducated, humble opinion) 4 of them 100% while the other 5 symptoms are up to your interpretation of his actions.
Regardless he is very hurt, sensitive and a sad young man that I can't help but relate to.
#tapestry at work: ooc#headcanon#mental health mention#alcoholism mention#self harm mention#suicide mention
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I was looking into getting a dobe, but gave up due to... well, them being that f-ed up. But the only outcrossing "program" I was able to find looks like total and utter shit, in my humble and tbh uneducated opinion. Do you know of any other initiatives? Also, do you know whether and if, what difference there is in these attitudes (PUREbred vs outcrossing) between the US and Europe? Ty
Unfortunately I also gave up on finding a dobe for the same reasons despite them being my #1 breed for many years. I'm not really a fan of the doberman outcross project that I know of, not because of the reason everyone else dislikes them (how they source their dogs, which is irrelevant to me if the dogs are temperamentally sound and pass health testing before any intentional breeding is done) but because of their focus on repeatedly breeding back to purebred dobermans to reach "purity" again. Doing this raises the COI and lowers heterozygosity back to levels in those backcross pups that I'm not comfortable with trusting since there is a growing body of research pointing to the idea that purebred Doberman health is related to their incredibly high COI and low genetic diversity (among other factors).
Down the line I'm sure their goal is to do a large number of crosses to various different breeds and mixes to create a breeding population of "purebred" doberman with lower COI and higher genetic diversity than current purebred populations (and I'll be happy for them if they succeed) but all the in between generations of that project will likely have much of the same health risks current purebred dobes do. Sacrificing in between generations like that -- for me, personally -- is not really in line with my ethics. Which brings up the convo of whether or not dobes can be ethically saved at all at this point which is a whole 'nother mess lol.
Their early generation crosses certainly are pretty though, enough that my inclination would actually be to work with the slightly more varied type of the crosses over repeatedly breeding back to purebred type but not my project so not my decision, and I understand that they're trying to appeal to doberman people in their project which means appealing to purity and type snobs hence the focus on those things which I also disagree with because fuck their opinions when the health of dogs is on the line but oh well
AFAIK doberman purity attitudes are unfortunately along the same lines in most of Europe as they are here and their population is just as inbred.
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New Jeans <3
So, everyone who stans kpop knows about New Jeans by now – the newly debuted group of 14-18 year olds. Yes, they're pretty young to debut, especially considering they have an '08 baby in their midst, but they're talented as well.
In summary, these girls are wonderful, gifted youths who are trying to make it big in the world. Their songs are wonderful (besides some interesting lyrics in their song 'Cookie') and their concept is refreshing (besides some odd wardrobe choices). I really do love these girls, and I wish we could protect them from things they shouldn't need to worry about.
If you want an elaboration, click the 'read more' button.
(Just note, I am not an expert on these matters; these are merely the ramblings of a concerned fan. Some of my information may be wrong or possibly uneducated. I do not mean to spread false information – I have taken some information from many kpop websites, forums, and the like, so if I had said something false it is most likely the error of me not researching deep enough.)
Upcoming word vomit below the cut:
warning – very lengthy
They debuted on the 1st of August, but before their official debut they already had their own MVs on the HYBE Labels Youtube channel. This sparked plenty of attention (get it, because one of their songs is called 'Attention'-) amongst kpop stans and fans alike.
Not many groups have it in their budget to start off with multiple solid MVs before their debut.
New Jeans' concept, the 2000s vibe, is also really refreshing. All of the nostalgic stuff from 'back then' has really brought a new light into the industry. As well as that, the girls themselves are cheerful and full of life. Girls their age can relate to them on a deeper level, due to their age range.
In my humble opinion, my preferences in terms of their songs is:
Hype Boy > Attention > Hurt > Cookie
They even have their own Weverse app called 'Phoning', which basically works like a regular Weverse, except it has a special UI (User Interface) that looks akin to something from a 2000s Nokia screen.
Like, way to go girls; they're making it big in the world!
However, it has come to my attention that there may be some more... darker aspects of this girl group – not the girls specifically, but mostly behind the scenes.
Firstly, I watched this Youtube video (time stamp: 1.23):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGXN8qJrrFs
It talked a lot about young idols (minors specifically) debuting in the industry and the adverse effects it could have on their mental health.
Obviously, this applies to New Jeans, considering their youngest member is fourteen years old. That's an 8th grader in Australia.
Think of how some girls already get bad mental health in their current environment. And now think of how young kpop idols in the stressful environment that is known as the kpop industry will fare. Yeah, not really good.
There was another video that I watched about Min Heejin's unsavoury and almost borderline (if not outright) paedophilic actions – however, let it be known that these have not been confirmed; it's just a controversy. That should be the biggest, brightest, red flag ever. I can't find the exact video, but if you search up on Youtube 'Min Heejin controversy' or something similar to that, you can gain some more information.
This, paired with some of the worrisome stuff I've observed in this girl group, has sparked some concern within me.
'What worrisome stuff, tumblr user soupyshroom? What could possibly worry you about a group of young girls who are led by their red flag of a producer?'
Well...
One thing to say is some of their outfits. Don't misunderstand, their outfits are really cool – if they were for older women (preferably not minors). I, myself, envy their wardrobe and wish I could wear those outfits too.
But, it's odd. You can argue and say, "oh, but girls their age dress like that all the time!"
Yes, girls their age do dress like that all the time, and good for them! But, it's not the girls who dress themselves, is it? No, they have personal stylists.
And these personal stylists, adults mind you, are dressing these young girls in tiny tops and skimpy clothing. Why would an adult dress a child in tiny tops?
It's one thing to dress yourself up, but it's another thing entirely for someone to put you in revealing clothing. Especially when it's someone years older than you.
Examples of these outfits can be found in the Attention MV (found on the HYBE Labels Youtube channel). Danielle is wearing a folded over football jersey, Hanni is wearing a bandana top (seriously, a tied together bandana), and Hyein (their youngest member) is wearing a tiny black tube top.
Really, these stylists are just exposing these girls to some of the worst people possible: pedophiles. There, I said it! These girls could be in danger of something darker – especially when their producer has controversy sparking around that exact matter. Does this not concern you?
I can hear your protests from here. I'm aware that girls who wear these clothes also expose themselves to the same risks. But, it's their choice – not the choices of their parents or their guardians. I'm also aware that it's the current trend now and it can further boost their popularity with their generation. But, it can gain popularity with the wrong people.
Following up this rather disturbing fact is that their new song, 'Cookie', has had some odd translations. These translations sound like sexual innuendos, according to many fans who have listened to the song.
Why put sexual innuendos in a song that's sung by children?
Many people have defended this, saying, "it's just a mistranslation! It's much more innocent in Korean!" or, "it's just about a high school crush and how they want to give their affection to them in the form of a cookie!"
Okay, maybe you have a point – but really, I don't like the way they 'translated' the song. I'm not sure, because I don't speak Korean myself. However, it is something I have to mention. There are too many slip ups for this to be a mistake or a mistranslation. It's too sketchy to be considered an 'innocent crush' type of song.
It's a shame too, since their previous songs have been done so well – Hype Boy is my favourite for sure.
I love these girls, truly I do. I don't want to stop supporting them because of their concerning debut. These girls are doing their best, and I'm proud of them. It is not their fault that the work behind the scenes is sketchy. It is not their fault that they are treated this way. I hope that people won't end up sexualising them – especially older kpop fans.
Maybe the girls are all aware of this. Maybe they're not. But, one thing's for sure: we need to protect our girls. We need to protect our idols. We need to stop this trend of debuting earlier and earlier.
There's so much more I want to say, but I'm worried that I'm boring you now with this entire spiel. Do I feel guilty for supporting them? Yes! I do! Because if I support them then that means I enable this disturbing ordeal going on. Do I regret preordering their album? No! These girls deserve to know that people enjoy them and their songs.
I have very mixed feelings on this, but here is my entire word vomit on the HYBE girl group, New Jeans.
#new jeans#HYBE#kpop#dont sexualise minors#protect our children#protect our girls#i really love these girls so much#i hope they dont run into any trouble because they deserve the world
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17, 23, 30, 37
Sky's Stolen Ask Game
I really enjoyed answering these, nonnie! Thanks for playing ❤️
17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it? A Hahnverse AU where all her different characters are in a polyamorus relationship. Like an Agatha x Claire x Jen x Eve x Agnes x Liv x Carla. Maybe also x Reader. I just think it would be very fun, if done well. I actually have a lot of thoughts on this, how the relationships are structured and other outside persons any given character listed here is dating as well.
23. What's a trope, AU, or concept that you've never written, but would like to? Hands down an enemies to lovers slowburn. I keep refraining because I just don't think I'd be able to do it proper justice yet.
30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter? I actually wrote, or attempted to write, a few throughout the years. One memorable one was about a character going through drug rehab, something which I learned from that is: if I don't know enough nor have the proper resources to research for, then I should be mindful and respectful and not write it at all. This is actually another reason why I'm rewriting Love Me When I Don't, as I stopped right before the chapter where I had planned for something to happen to Agatha that I felt in the end was a disrespectful thing for me to handle. I had to rework what I wanted to happen because of that, and by the time that happened I needed to rewrite the rest of the chapters as well. I learned to know what's okay to write for myself privately, what I feel comfortable sharing, and what I don't.
37. Promote one of your "deep cut" fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it? Routine! Cartenelli (Peggy Carter x Angie Martenelli for those who are sadly uneducated) is so fun to write, as I adore their dynamics and combined flair. I like it because it's a simple slice of life fic while showcasing some of the more subtle, complex underlying threads that are present in the Agent Carter timeline. It truly deserves far more love than it got, in my humble opinion.
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At least j*rdan gave us smile pics, charlie pics are all 😐 b&w, his back or while smoking always b&w. Boring as hell to us his fandom imagine to gp
Honestly, I thought Jordan was horrible because he rarely gave us smiling, he heavily pushed the smoking, and he always added those dumb as hell filters to everything. I think Charlie has given us some great pictures, but I also don’t love a lot of his work either. Beyond the fact that he also loves smoking and uses it as an aesthetic, I think part of the issue is that he also photographs Liam Gallagher and it’s really obvious that he tries to portray Louis the same way. If you compare the photos of Liam on Charlie’s Instagram page to the photos of Louis, you can see that they’re really similar.
Liam is almost 50 and he’s also an asshole so it’s just like....let’s maybe keep in mind that Louis is in his late 20s, he’s a fairly new solo artist, and he’s also a multi-dimensional person. Just as I’m baffled by Harry and his team sometimes trying to make him the next Bowie or Mick Jagger, I will never understand why Louis and his team try to push him into this box. Imitation doesn’t come across as genuine - I’ve seen members of the general public comment on the Liam Gallagher similarities before, and not in a flattering way - so I just feel like it’d be better for Louis to embrace his roots and the British music he wants to make without forgetting his uniqueness and the fact that he’s still young.
On the black and white thing - I am definitely a much bigger fan of color photos. Every once in a while is one thing, but I do think that the colorless theme will get tiring after a while (and already has for some). I don’t mind that Louis doesn’t dress in a lot of color (though he always looks AMAZING when he does) and I think the black/white/red thing can be a fun vibe for performances, but I would prefer more color photos mixed in with the black and white because I just think variety is much more fun to look at.
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I've been seeing those george neg tweets about how he hasn't tweeted about pride month or juneteenth (despite saying happy juneteenth on stream) but using those as an example to drive the point that he basically gets away with not saying much at all and saying how if it were dream he would be receiving backlash but george gets away with not doing much.
And its like for a first, i understand how people might be disappointed but at the same time many other CC's haven't spoken about pride or juneteenth and its fine....? Like if your CC isn't an activist...they aren't an activist. That's not to say your CC doesn't support these events they just don't feel the need to tweet about it on their platform despite speaking about it in their streams. And comparing how George stays silent to Dream and arguing how dream would get backlash is odd, dream is more outspoken on twitter and whatever he'd say good or bad will inevitably give him backlash because anti's exist, also him not tweeting about juneteenth i suppose would be different since its an american holiday supporting black americans. George or any CC from the UK for that matter; Jack, Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, Smajor, Ponk etc etc haven't tweeted about juneteenth because in the UK there's a different date to commerate the end of slavery.
Like george not saying anything isnt inherently bad, it doesn't harm anyone, i can see how people are disappointed about it but saying stuff like 'why cant he do it when his bestfriends tweeted about it?' Or 'if dream did that he would get hate' is the wrong way to ask him to show his support, and also ignores the fact that again, Juneteeth is not a thing in the UK.
i would like to preface this by saying that i'm white and non-american, so i'm definitely not the person that should speak on this. i am going to report my humble opinion here because you asked me, but take my words for what are worth (basically nothing)
if i'm being honest i never understood this entitlement to bare-minimum "activism". if my favorite content creator makes a tweet wishing everyone an happy pride month i'm happy about it and i appreciate that they're trying to cultivate a safe space for me in their audicence. if they don't make a tweet about pride, i just don't care? like i wouldn't even notice that cishet man number 34 hasn't tweeted anything if it wasn't for the people calling that out.
overall, while i get where they're coming from, in wanting popular content creators to use their platforms as best as they can, you can't coerce them. you are allowed to make a judgement on them for this, you can say "i would rather support content creators that are not afraid of supporting me and possiby alienating a part of their audience to show what they believe in", but wasting your energy in poking a probably uneducated content creator that will likely only tweet "happy pride month :)" really seems fruitless to me.
it's not your job to educate them. i'm only here to watch them play minecraft, i don't care about keeping track of their online presence and nitpicking everything they do or don't do. I used to be a bit like this i think, and I still personally don't appreciate that george is so careful in being neutral (though this doesn't refer to the pride month tweet specifically), but it doesn't matter. i can be critical of the content i consume while understanding how relevant and constructive my criticism would be in a specific situation. if i'm interested in online activism, i will uplift the voices of actual actvists, people who know what they're doing and advocate for an actual change. i won’t overshadow the voices that should be leaders of this moment to call out a minecraft youtuber and get a few thousand likes.
even if you get george to tweet "happy pride month, love is love" what have you achieved? is it even worth all this? is it even worth anything to get an happy pride month if you had to chase him and threaten twitter cancellation for this? like at this point if he came and said "i'm sorry i haven't tweeted anything before, happy pride month" i would count it as not tweeting anything, it would be just pure performative actions to get twitter to calm down. sorry i don’t need to get my validation as a queer person from georgenotfound acknowledging my existence.
keeping track of who has tweeted and who hasn’t is performative at best and straight up useless at worst, instead of making a thread of all the times georgenotfound stayed silent, retweet resources that can help, show your support in a positive and effective way. at the end of the day, in my opinion we should start treating content creators for what they are, and if you don't like how they manage their online presence, if that doesn't make you feel safe or comfortable, it's your choice to leave and support someone else. it’s not your job to educate them.
i don't want to speak about juneteenth in particular, my feelings are about the same, but admittedly i am in a very privileged position, so who the fuck am i to say "you shouldn't expect this and that from content creators"? this seems like a more delicate issue that i probably shouldn't speak over, though i don't understand why george, british white man, would even know about this. i never knew about juneteenth until this year, if i'm being honest.
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Hi! I wanna say your stories are too cute! Do you have any advice to new writers?
Ahh, thank you! 😳 Haha, I honestly don’t know how to reply, people being so kind towards my works always leaves me a little speechless, haha. So... Thank you 😳
As for the advice... Well, let’s give it a shot.
[Lorei from the future: of course, I made it long. Why am I even not surprised anymore].
In short (I elaborated on those below the cut):
Never dispose of your old work.
Do not obsess over editing.
The initial growth may be rapid. Then it slows down and it is when you are more aware of your errors. It is okay like so. It shows your growth.
Forget about what you think you should be and focus on what you can be. Do not try to force yourself into any rigid frames of “should” and “should not”, of “but author XYZ does it and it works out for them”. It is not an excuse not to try, but a call to adapt things to work for you.
Write for yourself and be greedy of your time. That being said, if you feel like being generous, do it!
We are not perfect and will never be - a knowledge of a person is finite. Look for your biases and never, never forget you can be wrong.
Do not be scared after the sixth. It boils down to being humble and being aware that your experiences are only yours.
Experiment and have fun. Not all stories have to be finished. Sometimes we aren’t at the place in life when we ourselves have an appropriate ending for them.
See what you can learn from others and observe. Ask whether they’d be willing to give you any opinions on the matter. However, you do need a certain compatibility for that too.
Try to localise the issue you’re experiencing every time you stumble into one.
I presume you have already heard “just write”, which by itself is well, the most universal piece of advice. Just write and you’ll get better eventually, although... From my observations, it is not necessarily given. I suppose it could be rather frustrating to hear - just write what? How to write this “just write”? As such, allow me to elaborate on this “just write”, or at least what I think “just write” could entail for the benefit of the learner.
First, never dispose of your old work. You will need it later on, even after you’ve improved - to be able to look back and see your growth during periods of discouragement.
Second, do not obsess over editing. Sure, things can always be improved upon - and it will most likely be the case that sometimes it will not be just in your head and that indeed, somebody will notice. But it is okay this way. We are humans. Humans make mistakes. What humans do is also learning from them. You will get way more experience out of creating plenty imperfect works than if you were to write just one perfect piece.
Third, the initial growth may be rapid. Then it slows down - and much to my dismay, and probably to that of plenty other writers, it is when we are most aware of our errors. We have enough experience to recognize them, but lack tools to solve them. It is okay this way. This is just how learning goes and it will pass eventually. It does not mean you suddenly forgot how to write, quite the opposite - you’ve learnt more than ever before and started to notice things you were oblivious to before. Don’t be scared, it’s okay - just try to tackle them, one at the time.
Fourth, forget about what you think you should be and focus on what you can be. Listen. You will never be Ursula K Le Guin - and she will never be you. Art of any type is subjective, and it will never be so that one style is superior to the other. You may admire some authors and try to mimic their style - which by itself, I presume, isn’t that bad of a thing, it can give you some analytical experience - but eventually, you will find something in them that’s bothering you. Do not try to force yourself into any rigid frames of “should” and “should not”, of “but author XYZ does it and it works out for them”. If it doesn’t work out for you, it doesn’t work out for you - that’s it. That being said, since I think I may be wording myself poorly - it is not an excuse not to try or say, to avoid some things completely, because you don’t feel particularly confident about them, no. It is a call to adapt things to suit you. You will grow with time too - adapt again, do not shackle yourself!
To give an example to that - my imagination works in words. I hardly ever see any scenes, and if I do, they are usually extremely vague, blurred. But I also think in smells and feelings, colours, textures, plenty things which together create an experience. I struggle with writing detailed descriptions. For the longest time I thought I should be writing them, but... Really, as much as I know it is something I should make sure to check myself on, I stopped putting extra pressure on myself to make the descriptions VERY detailed. Does my reader need to know the precise layout of streets, or is it okay if I give them an idea on how more-or-less the system works and then walk them briefly through it? We all have our set of experiences we build up on. I’d rather collect a set of items with a certain atmosphere to them than torture myself with creating a precise vision. My readers don’t have to imagine things the way I do for the scenery to still work.
Did it make my descriptions so much better? I don’t know. But it certainly kept me a writing-writer as opposed to i-cant-write-a-single-thing-right-writer and I think that’s plenty good.
Fifth, write for yourself and be greedy of your time. Your stories do not have to shatter the world or otherwise save it. All stories have some sort of audience that will be willing to listen to them, and they may be just as meaningful to other people - so honestly, don’t put any pressure on yourself with some sense of mission.
That being said, if you feel like being generous, do it! Take requests! People don’t like what you wrote for them? Well, they asked for it and it was your courtesy to begin with. However, that brings us to another one...
Sixth, we are not perfect and will never be - a knowledge of a person is finite. Be curious and remember that no experiences are universal. In other words: ask questions, look for what other people say, read their experiences, educate yourself, and then, at the end of the day, decide whether your original outlook on the matter is still relevant. Examine whether the story you wanted to tell still holds up. Look for your biases and never, never forget you can be wrong - people can and may point our your errors. It is fine. Apologise and do better next time. (Although it may happen that somebody’s claims will not be based in reality - and then it’s back to learning and talking and... Basically, navigating through the world).
Basically, step out of your shoes and try to imagine walking in those belonging to somebody else.
This is particularly relevant when discussing cultures or presenting characters from marginalised groups.
Example relevant to me: If the only slavic characters in your work are uneducated or otherwise stupid, you have a problem with representation there. If all of them are addicted to alcohol, drugs, are part of mafia, are spies, are thieves or otherwise operate as criminals - you have an issue there.
If your story is set in Prague, but you use Russian cultural themes and have your characters use stray words from other slavic languages (and it is not just a quirk of a given character, but more so a common thing to all of them) - you have an issue there.
Seventh, do not be scared after the sixth. It seems like a lot. It boils down to being humble and being aware that your experiences are only yours. And to the fact that if you know precisely nothing about something and want to write about it, you should do some reading first.
Eighth, experiment and have fun. If something grows more tedious than entertaining, you may want to let it go, at least for a moment. Not all stories have to be finished. Sometimes we aren’t at the place in life when we ourselves have an appropriate ending for them.
Ninth, see what you can learn from others and observe. This isn’t only about their experiences, but their craft too. Sometimes others know better. Ask whether they’d be willing to give you any opinions on the matter. However, you do need a certain compatibility for that too - sometimes your styles may be too different and one person could be converting the other to be more like them in terms of writing. This isn’t any good.
The last one, tenth: try to localise the issue you’re experiencing every time you stumble into one. It will make it easier for others to help you, or for you to help yourself.
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The Boondocks #6: “The Story of Gangstalicious” | December 11, 2005 – 11:00PM | S01E06
A very good episode! Gangstalicious is a rapper that Riley admires. He’s one of the rappers we see in “Granddad’s Fight”, when Riley is rewinding the footage of a brawl breaking out at a hip hop awards show or something like that. Gangstalicious has been recently shot in an assassination attempt while he was on stage singing about getting shot. This lead the crowd to not understand that he was really being shot. Funny!
Riley defies Grandad’s wishes to go visit his hero in the hospital. When the rival rappers that shot Gangstalicious show up to finish the job, Riley winds up along for the ride. Jokes about a large cell phone are made (it belongs to Granddad and is lent to Riley for a fraudulent trip to the store). It ends with a surprise reveal that, despite the fact that I was NOT a watcher of this show back when it was on, I still knew about. That’s because this episode’s storyline actually continues into sequel episodes, and promos for those episodes used clips of the surprise ending from this episode. The surprise reveal is (spoilers, if you���d rather not:) Gangstalicous is gay, and the assassination attempts are actually the product of a lovers’ spat, much like the very real gay guy war going on between Russia and Ukraine right now.
This is a strong one. I know this, because I laughed three times, and didn’t think anything was particularly poor. I’m not exactly a fan of BIG PHONE jokes, but they thankfully had this particular gag actually drive the story forward when Riley’s is hiding and his cover is blown by a man who notices his huge cell phone and loudly starts offering him money for it as a collector of oversized antique electronics. This one begins with a lengthy, but also tongue-in-cheek disclaimer about how this episode doesn’t mean to resemble any living people or music scenes. I’m genuinely uneducated as to if this is actually meant to be spoofing someone or something real, so I’m going to read a wiki now and regurgitate my findings in next paragraph. I’m so good at writing.
Well, I got nothing, but the wiki did point out that Gangstalicious’s dick and balls are blurred even in the uncut version. That has to have been a mistake or maybe the animators of this episode didn’t get the memo and didn’t draw them for this scene. Anything is possible. Bad news for those of you who want to see gay guy dick
MAIL BAG
funny blog.
Thanks.
Really funny blog. In my humble opinion. Do you like any other Adult Swim shows? I haven't watched any as of late... I just really don't care.
Hey thank you. I hope you can get your priorities straight... (Daryl Hannah voice from Kill Bill 2) smoke some bud (regular voice) and watch some TOON-AGE!!!!
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I’ve mentioned the grammatical registers of Altamaian here and there but I just now pulled together Info About Them and I’m really excited to share it because it’s one of the main ways it differs from Latin (which it’s a predecessor of in the SC universe) and also just a fun bit of worldbuilding that informs a lot of exchanges in the stories
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Modern Standard Altamaian is notable for the way its grammar and vocabulary change based on social context and the expressive style of the particular speaker. Obviously the best Earth analog to this is probably Japanese, but Altamaian differs in that registers are conveyed solely through highly regular affixes and changes in syntax, rather than that + whole new polite forms of words. Shifts to simpler or flowerier vocabulary occur with shifts in speaking style just as in English, but they are not a grammatical part of the register--one can speak in a very formal register and use very simple language and vice versa. While some features exist in more than one register and features of different registers are often mixed to convey a particular tone, the basic divisions are:
Casual/direct: The most notable feature of direct speech in Altamaian is that it tends to be more topic-forward, ironically similar to Classical Syfrae considering its association with the uneducated masses. It uses direct forms of words with few augmentative or diminutive affixes (although there are exceptions in dialect/slang), direct address of listeners, and few separate subject words (relying on verb conjugation to indicate who is doing what). Commonly used among friends or, among the lower lumini, overtures to strangers which may range from friendly to aggressive (to put it in English terms, “Hey I love your outfit”, “Watch out for the snowplow back there!”, and “Put your turn signal on dumbass!” would all, when directed at strangers, be direct-register phrases). Also used for statements aimed at a general audience, such as announcements. Traffic and regulatory signs in the Rings use this register, breaking with the tradition on the planets of the Four Suns of using the formal/polite register (below)--this has led to a lot of memery amongst residents of the old cities around translating them as much more vulgar than they actually are (THE GAP, BITCH! MIND IT!)
Formal/polite: This is actually the most commonly used register for many people, as it tends to be expected of students and in public and professional life, as well as in most media properties funded by the aristocracy. The weirdly hint-of-gender concept of “gentlemaidenliness” is quite bound up with this type of speech although not everyone who uses it would be identified as such--it’s started to be a bit more class-flexible because this is a dying breed but it USED to mean “unbound (and thus not using humble speech) colony-daughter who works for her living (and thus not using benevolent speech) but is nonetheless the Right Sort of People (and thus not using direct speech).” Despite retaining most of the inflections of the regular grammar, polite speech uses rigid SOV word order in the second and third person and OSV word order in the first (so you’re always putting the other person first--an element it shares with humble speech, although formal speech is usually used between strangers/those without any particular relationship regardless of the social status of either speaker) and subject pronouns are generally included. The speaker will still usually address the listener directly unless she is of vastly higher social status (in which case you’d better have a good reason to be speaking to her at all).
Humble (“admiring”): this register goes a step beyond polite speech and emphasizes the humility of the speaker while showing respect--sometimes quite impassioned respect--to the listener. It retains many traits of the polite register like “others first” word order, but in addition, the listener is never referred to by a second-person pronoun--only by a formal address title or phrase, or in the third person--and the speaker will use only diminutive words (including diminutive forms of verbs) to refer to herself, her equals, and her own actions, while referring to the listener with augmentatives. This type of speech is often used in a official context--formal appeals for grants or workers’ benefits, tax papers for businesses, and legal documents all generally exhibit some amount of it, as they’re necessarily addressed from commoners to nobles--yet it remains heavily associated with courtly love, and is often found in romantic sentiments between apparent social equals, especially (you saw this coming didn’t you?) when one party has screwed things up and is trying to salvage them. Although it’s not a formal rule, this register is also associated with phrases and modifiers that qualify one’s statements, akin to the English “I think” although a more accurate translation would be “in my humble opinion,” if a less formal version of that phrase existed in modern English usage.
“Loquelita” or cute humble speech: a subset of humble speech makes use of intensifying reduplication (the exact equivalent of saying “I am so so so so glad” except you do it to the main adjective not the modifier: I am glad glad glad!), doubles up or repeats diminutive and augmentative affixes, and draws vocabulary from youthful and childhood vernacular as well as archaic recitations which are standard knowledge among educated Basilean citizens. This is most often heard in contexts of delicisma or other direct relationships between a high-status lady and a significantly younger and lower-status hanger-on, although it’s associated with literal children (if you’re at a fancy private school this is how you ask your teacher if you can end the lesson early and play heads up seven up lol) and seen as a bit degrading past a certain age and above a certain career level, not to mention inappropriate with superiors who don’t already know and love you. Basically if you’re going to use the “you know how i’m your most favoritest and you love me so much” register variant you’d better be pretty sure the answer isn’t going to be “no? leave.”
Benevolent: Used by high-status leaders (nobles, politicians, some powerful commoners although usually not until their PR consultant tells them to) to speak to or about their inferiors. In Altamaian, “aiko”--the equivalent to the Latin “ego” subject pronoun--is a way of referring to oneself in an official capacity of rulership akin to the royal “we,” although it can be used by anyone in a circumstance where “I” or “me” would be the only word in the sentence (like “Who moved this?” “Me”). The use of this pronoun and of SVO word order are considered proper for describing decisions made from the top of the hierarchy for the (alleged) good of others; such descriptions will also generally use the formal-benefactive noun case to describe the object. Augmentative affixes for such actions, and diminutive ones for those of the listener(s), are also characteristic.
Familiar: Also sometimes called “soft register,” this is commonly used by parents speaking to children and for reassuring or emotional exchanges between close friends or lovers. Familiar word order is often (though not always) object-first: an example is the most accurate Altamaian translation of the English “I love you,” “Esti quos amo,” literally “It is you that I love.” Diminutives are often used for both the speaker and the listener (but not others), and a special set of affectionate subject pronouns may be employed.
Intimate: Some people consider certain forms that can occur in familiar speech a sub-register known as “intimate speech,” reserved for intense moments and relationships. This mode retains the word order and affectionate diminutives but mostly drops pronouns in reference to the listener and employs an archaic, general first-person verb conjugation that blurs the line between “you” and “we”. It is almost always more direct than familiar speech and can be used to express passionate anger or hurt. This means Altamaian has the imo EXCELLENT feature of having a way to say “I love you” REALLY HARD, and it’s just “amaei”, one word, four vowels, GREAT for screaming out windows.
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Alex ze Pirate “Mini Review” 1: About Male Abuse
Alex ze Pirate is in my opinion the WORST “comic” series Dobson has ever written up until this point (date for archives: June 2020). Sure, I agree with people that his “hot take” comics on Star Wars Fans, political issues and virtue signaling for the sake of making brownie points are worse overall cause they are uneducated propaganda that give insight in how much of a loathsome human being driven by spite he genuinely is, but Alex “offends” me as someone who enjoys fiction. It may not be the worst thing ever written, but it just does so many things wrong in terms of storywriting, storytelling, presentation and creating fictional characters, I can’t help but wonder what went wrong that Dobson even remotely thought this thing would be a “successful” comic series to establish him as a creator. Cause I can tell you, having read the likes of Don Rosa’s work on Disney, Hilda, Cleopatra in Space, Spirou, Asterix, One Piece (of which I will talk a lot in my next few posts) and many more, I can confirm by comparison that Dobson’s pirates as a published comic would have only one use on the public shelves: alternative for toilet paper during the COVID-19 epidemic
Believe me, I would love to write an in depth analysis of everything wrong with Alex ze Pirate, from the lazy artwork up to even the publication history of this trainwrack. But doing so would take a lot of time and there is one individual part of this I think deserve at least extra attention. Something that in my opinion embodies quite well a lot of things I consider wrong with this comic. So before I am going over Alex in its entirety (and believe me, the day will come) let me just talk within the next few posts about one certain aspect and story of the comic, that genuinely got me to loath this comic to the core: Sam the Cabin Boy and “his” own individual story Dobson drew in three parts around 2010.
For starters, lets talk who Sam is: Sam is one of the main characters in the comic and actually the first person who joined Alex and Peggy in the initial pages of Legends, the “original” form of Alex ze Pirate.
See, back in 2004, Dobson released Alex ze Pirate in form of a single comic volume called “Legends” which features Alex trying to recruit a crew. The thing is around 78 pages thick and based on what I saw pretty terribly paced. For comparison: When Luffy in One Piece got his crew together, he spend multiple volumes and at least three minor story arcs to get Zoro, Nami, Sanji and Usopp to join him. All while also giving us good insight into the kind of people his new crewmates were (especially Sanji’s and Nami’s backstory got to me), defeating the likes of Buggy and Captain Black, meeting Dracula Mihawk and defeating one of the biggest bastards Eichiro Oda ever created in form of Arlong. What is the story how Sam joins the crew? An orphanage organizes an auction and sells kids off. Which I assume was even illegal in pirate times, so kudos for already showing us how despicable the world of Alex ze Pirate is to begin with and how much it deserves to be nuked in some sort of alien invasion.
Sam also doesn’t really get anything to do when he is introduced, just helping Alex escape on a small boat. Which is weird because he does not know her at all, she is just some stranger who bought him off and has no means to keep him in check, so why even bother following her and not let the mob get rid of Alex?
Anyway, I wish I could tell more about Sam’s involvement in Legends, but I don’t have really more than some scans of it in the beginning and near the end. So I don’t know his involvement in the rest of the volume. I also can’t say how he plays out in volume two, because that does not exist at all. Cause for reasons I will never understand, Dobson just abandoned the idea of telling a “coherent” and ongoing story with Alex ze Pirate and instead went to his colored one page comics/strips with it, turning it into what some people called “Garfield with Pirates” (which I consider a genuine insult towards any newspaper comic out there, even something as Boondocks). And the first thing we see of Sam in “classic” Alex ze Pirate?
The perverted dwarf of the crew showing of his shota underwear so that Alex and Sam stop bickering who is the cutest, leaving him embarrassed and humiliated.
Which kinda sums up his role in the comic to a t. Cause this is what Sam is: He is the buttmonkey of the crew. And honestly, I would not have a total problem with Sam being a buttmonkey, if a) he wasn’t it all the time, b) he would actually do something to deserve any form of humiliation and c) if the other characters in this comic itself would not be some of the biggest assholes I have ever seen, who get away with abusing the poor lad.
See, here is the problem: In a crew featuring a choleric homophobic soulless ginger
A black rat person who wants to fuck the ginger even without her consent
A furry abomination that has the same brain wavelengths as Chris Chan
And a perverted dwarf who tries to impersonate Happosai from Ranma 1/2
Sam is the only decent person in the entire crew. He works hard, he even questions the morality of his friends at times, he is honest, he is not perverted, almost good to the point of childish innocence and he has a very humble “goal” which is he wants to own his own piece of gold. Not even a big pile of treasure, just one single coin would be enough for him.
So he is likeable and relatable. In fact, if anything goes by, he may have been one of the most popular ones in the comic. And yet he is the one who gets constantly abused by “fate” and his friends, because as Dobson would say it, he is supposed to be the buttmonkey. There is just one problem: People do not necessarily like buttmonkeys.
I can primarily speak only for myself here, but I hope what I have to say resonates with others too. See, I get it: A character who is the butt of a joke can be fun. Like Daffy in Duck Amuck. But there is a fine line where a character being humiliated for the sake of a joke is fun (and perhaps even deserved because of his own shortcomings or deeds/actions that make the humiliation sort of kharmic, like lets say Johnny Bravo) and a character being humiliated to the point it feels disproportional, unfunny and mean spirited if not outright sadistic, can be crossed. Take Meg Griffin from Family Guy for example whose only “purpose” for existing within the last 12+ years is to get shat on by her family and the writers. People have no idea for a plot with her, so what do they do? Have her father physically and emotionally abuse her, fart in her face for what is supposed to count as a joke and then add additional insult to it by acknowledging that they are only doing this, because they have no other idea for her and think abuse is fun. Let me just tell you from experience, it is not.
And that is essentially what Sam is: He is the Meg Griffin of Alex ze Pirate, used by his creator as the butt of very unfunny jokes, even if he does not deserve any of the things said or done to him. Want to see some examples?
How about the description Dobson gives Sam within the introduction of one of his volumes, showing how little Dobson as the creator even cares for him.
Why is he called an unworthy “slob” if he is the only one who actually works? Shouldn’t a slob be someone like Dobson, who can’t even take care of himself anymore? Also the confirmation that he was kidnapped at the age of 16. And as we have no clarification how much time passed between Legends Vol. 1 and anything afterwards, that means that in a way Alex is a child abuser.
And now, here some examples by the rest of the cast. Like Uncle Peggy framing him for all sorts of his perverted actions and even trying to kill him for no apparent reason?
Alex trying to kill him with chicken pox…
…Destroying all his worldly posessions which is hilarious because he is a poor orphan…
…Essentially describing him as worthless because he was born with an Y-chromosome…
… doing the kind of thing Dobson claims women would never do to man, using their sex appeal to hurt them…
…forcing him to do some unnecessary and rather petty work for her in a physics defying manner (seriously, the way he holds the axe does not compute with how he swings it. Try it out yourself)
… stealing his food and just being a cruel sadistic cunt to him just because it is fun.
Which is “funny” in so far as that there are a few comics indicating she would jump his dick and ride it like a little pony if she could.
By the way, Talus and Atea are not better. None of them calls Alex out on her bullshit on average, Atea uses Sam to trigger traps in one story arc…
And Talus, the closest to a “friend” he is supposed to have, once for no apparent reason made him dig through his litterbox
And don’t get me even started when the characters decide to gang up on Sam, to the point he gets sexually harassedor is called to be less worth as a human being than the dirt you find in your belly button
Fuck’s sake, even in fanart everyone gangs up on him, even the freaking big bad of the story everyone is supposed to hate or be afraid of
Bottom line, Sam is an abuse victim played for laughs in this comics. And just to clarify, I do not think this was Dobson’s intention. But if the character is undeservingly the butt of jokes for the majority of over 120 strips, it turns nasty. The way Sam is treated, I just find disgusting and indictive of just how unlikable any other character in this comic is to the point I do not want to see this being turned into a proper “franchise”. And I assume others were disgusted by it too, cause Dobson eventually decided to make a story more or less addressing the treatment Sam receives, while also attempting to prove that deep down the assholes with starring roles in this trainwrack care for him. How did this play out? Well, I am going to talk about it, so likely not well. If you want to see the details, grab yourself some popcorn and take a toilet break before we tackle part 2 of this thing.
#andrew dobson#so you are a cartoonist#sjw#comics#comic#webcomic#alex ze pirate#sam the cabin boy#legends#tom preston#disgusting#male abuse#unfunny
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You want songs? I'll suggest a few.
Logan:
Sweet Tooth by Cavetown
everything i wanted by Billie Eilish
Not Today by Twenty One Pilots
Janus:
No Time To Die by Billie Eilish
Ballad Of Mona Lisa by Panic! At The Disco
bitches broken hearts by Billie Eilish
Remus:
Crazy=Genius by Panic! At The Disco
Mad Hatter by Melanie Martinez
What's My Age Again? by Blink-182
Blood by My Chemical Romance
Blue from Heathers
That's just a few of them, let me know if you want more!
i will be passing all the logan & remus songs onto alex & vic tomorrow for the Real opinion but i wanna listen & give my uneducated, non-logan & non-remus kinnie thoughts so here you go
sweet tooth: mmmmmmm okokok so this def does sound like logan in a relationship & i love that. i think this is very loceit & will propose we add it to our playlist tbh 👀 good shit
everything i wanted: so i get what you were going for & will def pass this one to alex too but in my humble janus kinnie opinion, this is dukeceit & i will be adding it there tyvm (:
not today: hey............this one was rude..........alex will love this one ): bc it makes me sad ): & it’s about logan being sad ): ur a meanie ):
crazy=genius & mad hatter: both of these fall into the ~overused~ category. i absolutely get where you’re coming from with them, i just think it’s.......kinda low hanging fruit, ya know? i’ll pass them onto vic anyway!
what’s my age again: godddddddd. this really hits for remus i’m yelling lmao vic will love this one
blood: this one’s already on our dukeceit playlist so!!! yes!!!
blue: you know i’m about 90% sure vic showed this to me when we first met & that alone is making me crack up but GOD this needs to go somewhere & i’m sure they’ll think of somewhere tomorrow
ok onto the songs i can have actual opinions on
no time to die: okay so this one is a bit complicated. this feels like it’d go as the very last song on my jan playlist if he ends up being more rejected or outcasted by thomas than accepted. it could also go on my dukeceit playlist if....certain plot points happen that spur remus on to betray jan, which vic & i have toyed with as just ideas in the past. so altogether...........i’ll be bookmarking this song for it’s potential ty
ballad of mona lisa: mmm i do love panic & i can kinda see what you were going for but it doesn’t hit for me sorry fahm
bitches broken hearts: okokokokok until thomas confirms otherwise bc he most likely will (the bastard....) i’m putting this on anxceit bc owwy ): i do imagine anxceit having been soft at one point!!! jan being all motherly & concerned & teaching virgie a lot about controlling his anxiety & ~self care~ etc. i’m....terrified to hear what canon is bc thomas has already stabbed me in my anxceit heart with the livestream last week so :/ ANYWAY i’m putting this on anxceit thank u uwu
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Day 1 of reading Acts:
My bible has two different lists: (1) The Bible in Canonical Order and (2) The Bible in Alphabetical Order
Not only that but The Bible Recap Podcast, as well as other podcasts I may listen to, have their own order, so IDK that I am beholden to any order. Nonetheless, I was advised that Acts would be a good book to begin with.
Acts appears in the Canonical Order as the first book after Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. A website I found says this:
“The Book of Acts, which continues the narrative that Luke began in his gospel, is especially important because it was the first written history of the Christian church. Acts concerns a vital period in Christian history between the resurrection of Jesus and the death of the apostle Paul, the time when Christian ideas and beliefs were being formulated and when the organization of the church into a worldwide movement was being developed.
The book has been called ‘The Acts of the Apostles,’ really a misnomer because Acts has very little to say concerning the most of the original Twelve Apostles...Scholars are somewhat divided in their opinions concerning the book’s authorship. There can be no question about Luke being the author of parts of the book, but the inclusion of what has been called the ‘we sections’ raises some question about the persons to whom the pronoun ‘we’ refers.”
This will be good background for me as I read it because I am starting here and not reading Luke first. For instance, I would’ve had no idea this was continuing part of the narrative from Luke. Also, I do like to know who the author was so I can try and keep track of that. The website explains that it was probably Luke who wrote the original and then has been redacted and edited by other unknown people.
My Everyman’s Bible also has a lot of good summaries and context to help me understand where this book fits into the larger narrative: “Acts begins with the ascension of Jesus and continues through the growth of the early church”
Here are some of my notes below:
Acts 1-3
Acts 1: 1-5: Setting the stage but I like the part of my Everyman’s Bibles supplemental notes that says: “Before ascending into heaven, Jesus assured his followers that the Holy Spirit he had promised to send would come upon them as they waited in Jerusalem. At the appointed time, the early Christians received the power they needed to reach the world with the Good News of Jesus Christ. God offers us the same powerful help in overcoming the struggles we face”’
Acts 1: The rest of the chapter (it is chapter...right? Idk I’m sure I will get this down eventually) focuses on how Judas betrayed them and they need to find a replacement. Joseph (AKA Barsabbas...AKA Justus...Does this guy have three names? He wouldn’t do well at air port security - Nate Bargatze joke) and Matthias were chosen as candidates. In the end, Matthias was chosen to be an apostle. I have to wonder if they were a little sketched out by Joseph having three names and that is why he wasn’t selected. Also, I assume this is a different Joseph than Jesus’...dad? I guess he doesn’t have a dad...or well he does but his dad is god...but he is also god? I am sure I will straighten this all out eventually haha.
Acts 2: 1-4: This chapter opens by talking about Pentecost and how a bunch of believers all met together and the Holy Spirit filled them and they started speaking in tongues. Very interesting to me because I have seen some of those churches who have members who break out in tongues. I always just assumed that was some obscure sect of Christianity and that was looked down upon by most Christians. Maybe it still is, but it can’t be that taboo if it says it right here in the Bible.
Acts 2: Peter goes on to preach to all the Jews who are gathered. He explains how this is fulfilling the prophecy laid out by the prophet Joel. Side note: I am curious what the predominant thought on prophecy is among Christians. I know that Jesus was supposed to fulfill the prophecy laid out in the Old Testament (or something like that?), but the whole prophecy thing is a bit strange to me if I am being perfectly honest. I guess god was speaking through the prophets in the Old Testament and so prophecy is really just the word of god? Anyways, this leads to what must be a really significant piece of scripture where some of the Jews are wondering what they are to do and Peter says, “‘Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is to you, to your children, and to those far away’”.
EveryMan’s Bible Note: Simple little add on image they added: What is the point of Acts? Answer: The unstoppable grace of God in Christ Jesus is for ever race and nation. I thought that was a good little summary
Acts 3: Peter heals a crippled man who has been taken to the temple. Apparently this was pretty significant. Peter touched him and then said through Jesus Christ the crippled man would be healed. EveryMan’s Bible says this, “Similarly, our healing comes as God touches our lives through the ministry of others. As we experience healing in our own lives and share our faith, we can bestow the same blessings on others by leading them to Jesus Christ.” I found this passage to be interesting because I was not aware that Peter performed miracles as well. Though I guess one might say he wasn’t performing the miracle, Jesus was?
Bible Recap Podcast: Acts 1 - 3
Jesus has died. Come back into his resurrected body for 40 days, and then ascended into heaven. While he was in his resurrection body he told his followers not to leave Jerusalem until the Holy Spirit came to empower them. This is a big deal. The Holy Spirit has not come into all believers yet. So the Holy Spirit coming to these Jews and them speaking in tongues is significant because it is beginning the next stage of events and fulfilling what Jesus said would happen.
This podcast provides such great context. The followers watched Jesus ascend into heaven and then returned to their “headquarters” where they had the last supper. The host actually literally mentions how there is never any mention of Jesus’ earthly dad, Joseph, so most think he likely died.
The disciples get filled with the Holy Spirit during Pentecost and start speaking in tongues/languages that the rest of the Jews from the area know they shouldn’t know. That is the rest of the Jews are very surprised that uneducated peasants are speaking sophisticated languages from different lands. The foreigners can finally understand the gospel because they are speaking the right language now. They may be hearing the gospel for the first time and understanding the story of Jesus. 3000 people are baptized.
Hosts thoughts: Her “God-Shot” is gods detailed plan. Gods plan never seems to go the way she thinks it will. She is always trying to map out what she think will happen and she is never even close to right. In this chapter we see how God acts in a surprising way to some. Fire tornadoes. Tongues. Etc. It is so humbling to realize that we have no idea what his plan is for us. In my own life I can say that certainly seems relevant. I thought I was being strongly pointed in a certain direction, only to find out that for the time being that plan is going to be much different than I originally thought. Something I try and remind myself is that I can only try and move in a positive direction and trust that the plan for my life is still bright and happy. No matter what is happening in the short term.
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Hi um... I'm just a lil uneducated beby... What's Druck?
hello dear anon! I dont know if ur familiar with SKAM, a norwegian tv show about teenagers which had the main aim of portraying their lives as realistically and intimately as possible by making each season about a different member of this friend group and by dividing each episode in smaller clips which would come out according to real time, so that the people watching it would feel a bit like part of the show itself..or like the character was living through everything they went through at the very same time the watcher was going through something.
ANYHOW druck is one of the “remakes” that were done in different parts of europe (and texas for some reason lmao) to represent how different the lives of teenagers in different cultures are! its a very cool concept i think. Druck is the german version set in Berlin and in my humble opinion its even better than the original because it has SO MUCH HEART in it and its embarrassingly easy to get attached to its characters who are a little bit more loving and a little bit more human than any others ive ever seen on tv. I really recommend the 3rd season (but also the 1st and 4th!!! the 2nd is meh), which made me watch it in the first place, because its a very tender story about one of the characters figuring out how to be more at peace with himself and falling in love with another boy (David schreibner, who is actually one of the best characters ever invented in history). It features wonderful trans representation, friendship, a cool soundtrack and a lot of love.
you can watch it on druck’s youtube channel if u live in germany, or with a vpn if u dont. I really recommend it! its fun and honest and entertaining and sometimes it looks into your soul in a way you wouldnt expect a teenage show to be able to do!
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Who the goddamn hell are you to have these opinions on Dante, like??? Am I just uneducated? Like is this your field of study?? How do you know this? These politics of a different time?? I know this comes off as aggressive but please believe I mean this in the most gentle way possible coming to you with genuine amazement like am I missing a class somewhere or something? Did you major in lit? I can’t believe people just walk around casually with this knowledge like it isn’t the coolest most humbling thing to observe, especially so casually
ajshdhdhdh i genuinely dont have a real answer here bc i’m flattered and also just as confused! I was really obsessed with Dante’s inferno as an edgy 13 year old so like, he’s been a special interest of mine for a while, but all this new stuff is content i just learned in the past three weeks!! i’ve been really into medieval literature and history since i was a kid but in the last two years or so of my undergrad i absolutely fell in love with it, and my interest was pretty contained to English, Irish, and Old Norse sources and it lead to a crisis at the end of last semester where I was graduating but strongly regretting the lack of classes I took in medieval lit. so one of my professors recommended taking some grad level classes and seeing if i a) enjoyed them as classes and b) found I still had an interest in the subject.
so now i’m taking a class in medieval poetry! we just got done with late medieval italian lyrics which included Dante and some critics of Dante (which I thought were really funny) and then I saw that post while I literally was annotating that page and was like! oh I have things I can add here. so the answer to who am I to have opinions on Dante? No one really because my knowledge of that time period and area is fairly limited, but I do know enough weird stuff to occasionally drop a line or two, especially now that Dante discourse is picking up again. but also there is so much to learn and i’m like! barely stratching the surface and there are so many medievalists in my class who like. know what they’re doing, so it’s very daunting
#we also just did the troubadors (southern french poets) who strongly influenced dante so if you see me making fun of them#please know it is deserved#also i need everyone to know i have two copies of the divine comedy#my nice collectable barnes and noble one and a bootleg version my high school teacher printed out (possibly illegally)#(i dont know translation laws)#and stuck into a giant binder#i loved that teacher so much.#asks
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