#somehow failed to get my two absolute faves LOL

[calocreek]

Getting hype for the new Life season tomorrow, so I dug up these to share!! Completely incomprehensible to most, I'm aware lol...but if you know, you know ;)

Also one of the first times I used CSP! Perspective rulers are EVERYTHING to me...just gotta get more used to the UI ugh 😵‍💫

#trafficblr #traffic smp #life smp #martyn inthelittlewood #rendog #zombiecleo #bigbst4tz2 #impulsesv #bdubbleo100 #grian #joel smallishbeans #jimmy solidarity #can you tell i tried to get all my faves in #somehow failed to get my two absolute faves LOL #anyway big hype for tomorrow!! #calocraft

[thestobingirlie]

you understand my fave characters like no other before, are there any fic recs that you would want to bestow upon this humble ask??

this ask is about a month old lol, but here i am!!

in no particular order:

to have a friend

"Maybe life will be different soon. Now that I've been fully myself for a year, I know there's no going back. As it turns out, being a loner suits me beautifully. But there are times when I crash hard into the hope of finding my people. Friends who would stick with me through anything. A girl I can have a less hopeless crush on. There are adventures waiting for me. I know it." -Rebel Robin

Robin finds her people.

this fic is a must read!!!!! just beautiful. my favourite robin fic ever

the wine of life by littlearrows

After the Upside Down, Steve, Nancy, Robin and Vickie take the '90s to rest and grow up. Along the way, there's weddings, kids, a treehouse and one car breakdown.

(aka my stancy & rockie slice-of-life future fic)

theeee stobickancy future fic!!! it’s canon to me, no matter how the show ends lmao

honestly, all of littlearrows works are a must read, katie is a beautiful genius!!

the road goes ever on by MaryPSue

The Battle of Starcourt has been won, but its aftershocks are still rippling. Separated from the rest of the Party, Will struggles with feelings of abandonment, while El is trying to find her place with the Byers and come to terms with the loss of her powers - and the closest thing she's ever had to a father. Back in Hawkins, life is slowly returning to normal, or at least as normal as life ever is. The Party are starting to adjust to having two of their members at a distance, though everyone's still missing El and Will, Mike most of all.

But life in Hawkins never stays normal for long. Someone - or something - is following Steve and Robin, and they may not be the only ones under surveillance. A spectre from El's past makes an unexpected - and unwanted - reappearance. And an old enemy may turn out to be much more than meets the eye.

And sometimes, the bad guys are smart, too.

Separated by miles and misunderstandings, with communications failing and their enemies somehow always one step ahead, Hawkins' strange little fellowship find themselves caught between holding on and moving forward. If they want to survive to see another November, they'll have to face the past - and each other.

very fun body horror fic!!!! i just love fics that interact with the upside down outside of strict canon.

the very best people by scioscribe

“Why are you messing up my undercover operation, Steve?” Dustin said. “Do you want another tear to open up in the space-time continuum and suck us all into the Upside Down? Do you want the entire world to turn into squishy, mind-flayed zombies because you and Robin couldn’t get your shit together?”

(Or, the one where Steve and Robin go undercover in an evil suburb.)

stobin pretending to be a newly-wed married couple to go undercover. what more could i want from a fic?

minor falls, major lifts. by millcrs

“Steve.” Shiv lowers her voice an octave. “Steve. Calm down. Just let me see, okay?”

“I don’t want you to see.” He smacks her hands away, feels the cut of a modest rock nip at his knuckles. Wambsgans outdid himself.

“Where’d he get that?” Steve laughs, points, and Shiv’s eyes flicker to her finger like she forgot all about it. “Fuckin’ Macy’s?

—

“Look,” Connor says, palms up and placating. “We can point fingers at each other, or we can be honest with ourselves and blame the commies.”

st/succession crossover; steve as one of the roy siblings. i’m soooo obsessed with the entire series!!

in a strange land by MrsEvadneCake

Doom comes to Hawkins, Indiana. Population est. 30,000.

It’s cold, that’s all, and the breeze is kicking up. That’s why Steve feels the chill go up his spine like someone dropped an ice-cube down his back.

“Why wouldn’t I be real, El?”

“The Aboleth got you.”

i’ve absolutely rec’d this before, but i don’t even care because it’s literally one of the best st fics ever, and i need everyone in the fandom to read it.

nothing really sticks by rosie447

Steve cuts his hair with safety scissors in the bathroom of Family Video. Maybe he's less okay than he's been letting on.

steve trauma fic, everybody cheer!!!!!

#stranger things #st fic recs #asks #anon

[rist-ix]

Hey Rist! How've you been? I'm curious. How would you rank Valtor's different voices for the 3 versions(RAI, 4Kids & Nick)? I was looking at S3 of Winx Club (I missed Valtor lol) & I was curious abt his voices for the different versions. So, I watched a bit of S3E5 in all 3 and ranked them from most to least fave. I ranked them: 1) Nick, 2) RAI, 3) 4Kids. Nick's version is so.. so Valtor, 4Kids seems a bit (a lot) too extra, and Rai's version is a bit (just a bit) gruff. What do you think, Rist?

That’s actually pretty much the same as I remember liking them, but my memory has failed me before so I’m editing a crappy little compilation together. And there's really only one scene I could have used for that without losing y’all’s respect. (Fair warning tho the audio trails over scene cuts occasionally so there's some weird jump cuts with sudden noise, but whatever)

From your worst to your best we have:

4Kids Valtor

Ignoring the dollar-store-James-bond music at the beginning, I quite like Valtor's theme here. The ominous cembalo cords remind me of cheesy old fantasy-horror movies and black castles during very dramatic lightning storms, and I honestly feel like the pompous, dramatic 4kids voice fits very well for that. By itself I feel like it’s far too over the top (which is generally 4kids motto), and also my least favorite of the three, but it does have a certain unapologetic arrogance going for it. It might not rank well for me compared to the other ones, but it’s still authentic and fun. Peak gay vampire energy here.

Something I noticed is the pretty big dialogue change here, where he states that he's warning bloom out of an “old, long forgotten curtesy”. I tend to dislike changes from the original script, but honestly? That’s such a cool detail. I feel like that adds a lot to his character pretty early one, no matter if he genuinely means it or is just baiting Bloom.

Rai Valtor (also known as Cinélume)

You are absolutely right, very deep voice. I am looking respectfully 👀👀👀

Compared to 4kids, this Valtor is a lot more subdued. The voice acting is EXCELLENT, the little chuckle he gives when he recounts what people say about him is peak Valtor, pure irony and ridicule. I tend to forget him a lot, if I’m being honest, because he's not as notable as ExtraDramaQueen-4Kids!Valtor, and not as radically different as the Nick version, but he is still very much a very interesting middle ground between them. If I’m being completely honest he's actually my favorite of the three, now that I think about it. His dialogue is closest to the original and I tend to imagine this voice when I write fanfics, and even if you can’t hear it in this example, he's got a really memorable way to speak when he's pitting the Trix against each other or trying to soothe their egos. There's something really manipulative, threatening in his tone sometimes, no matter which lines he gets.

But it is a close call with your number 1.

Nick Valtor

(First of all, Bloom's voice is somehow stealing the show for me here. In the beginning she really sounds like she's scared, in pain, and she's got that rough edge to her tone when she's angry. I don’t usually bother with the nick dub, but damn. Maybe I should.)

I’m not exaggerating when I say that this Valtor is easily the most refined of the three. More subdued, like the Rai version, but not as deep as either of the previous two. It sometimes reminds me of Macaque from The Monkey Kid, and that’s a huge compliment. This Valtor has a quiet, insidious danger to him that is subtle yet very present. He says “I'll do what needs to be done” and you don’t doubt it for a second. There's that weird blend of lighthearted indifference in his voice which makes him distinct from the others, and it helps to emphasize that he's completely different from Darkar and the Trix: he analyzes and understands his enemies in a way that basically guarantees him victory, no matter the opponent. I wouldn’t say I like it more than the Rai Valtor — this one could use a little more drama and pomp — but he's objectively the highest quality here.

But what’s this?

It’s GermanDub!Valtor with a steel chair!!!

Shut up I’m totally right about this one the god of voice acting told me so

I am not taking criticism!

My boy my king my one true love, it’s the slightly raspy, cutting and incredibly heinous voice of my childhood dub! He may be speaking a bit faster to fit all those long german words into such a short shot, but he pulls it off MAGNIFICENTLY. Similar to Nick's it’s not as deep as I’d imagine from seeing his face, but he has a harshness to his words that does not speak of subtle threat but of open hostility, clad in polite words. He's here for a fight, no matter with whom, and while he may not get that on this day he leaves no doubt that eventually, he'll wipe the floor with them. His voice influenced me a lot during Sparked, even if I didn’t really imagine it when he had dialogue. Just the character of it is such a vibe, this slightly impatient thirst for violence he somehow manages to pour into his long game.

10/10.

#winx club #winx valtor #asks #sparxshipping #I almost didn’t recognize u eden I was so used to your dark blue profile pic lmao #god this made me so nostalgic #but voices aside it’s so interesting how they changed the dialogue sometimes and made completely different choices for what’s important #the Winx club dubs are their own science at this point

[jamesunderwater]

having an anon friend always seems like so much fun and i’m somehow jealous of you.

my fave time of day: my favourite time of day is definitely just before the sun sets. like when the sun looks so much bigger and the sky is a bunch of different colours, that’s my favourite time. (it’s also the time i go home everyday so maybe it’s also the fact that it’s home time).

my favourite character: alaska young. the book version though. there was something about “looking for alaska” that hooked me in at a young age and i’ve never quite been the same since.

one fact: i failed high school english. most of my friends see me as highly literate so when i tell them i actually failed english (it’s my first language too) it always comes as a big shock.

now my questions for you: what’s your favourite holiday? if you could have any fast food brand available to you at a moments notice, what would it be? if you had to describe yourself using two colours, which would they be? 🩶

friend anon!!! despite my considerable neglect of our friendship, i want you to know that replying to your asks was literally on my to-do list for months. i hope that this feels like a compliment -- i only write out "reply to so and so" and "text so and so" when i really care xD

okay if you came off anon though OR figured out how to stealthily leave a message about wanting a friend anon (idk how you'd do that, but worth a try lol) maybe YOU could have a friend anon too. i need to be someone's friend anon, actually. it's such a sweet feeling to make someone feel seen like that, to make someone smile by showing them people care and are interested in them as a person. thanks for being the kind of cool person who does that! <3 i hope you get a friend anon, you deserve one too.

ohhh, that moment before the sun sets is such a beautiful one!! i'm curious what your landscape is like when you're heading home each day -- are you seeing this sky against a city backdrop? an expanse of fields? suburban streets lined with houses? a mountain with houses scattered all down it? the sea or other waterscape? i must know.

haha i am excited that you ended up choosing a character i actually know! fun fact, when i was in high school, my childhood best friend and i reconnected and we always had a kind of ethereal bond. one day we were sitting in her car in a cemetery and decided we wanted to rename ourselves based on our truer nature, but decided we should name each other. i actually named her Alaska, because she so, so reminded me of Alaska from that book. she was just (still is, even now)...unearthly in some ways. magic kind of poured out of every part of her. she ended up changing her name to Alaska really everywhere, truly went by the name for years. I think she only recently started going by her birth name again. (she named me Luna, if you're wondering, and what a compliment, to be compared to the moon in any sense)

i hope it's not rude to say, but i love your one fact? cause fuck school. it is so not a measure of our actual intelligence or proclivities. kinda love that you prove that with that story -- though i am sorry you had that experience, because I'm sure it was very stressful.

okay, i probably already apologized for this, but like.......sorry again for having absolutely no capacity for short replies. i don't really know how people don't comment on every little thing like this? hopefully you don't hate it!

favorite holiday: generally speaking, Christmas. Huge fan of Halloween as well. but the last few years Christmas has been very quiet for me, and while I haven't hated that, it just isn't exactly the holiday it used to be. So you know what? In this moment, I think my answer might be New Year's Eve instead. for several years now I've spent that day in reflection, and journaled for hours at night about the previous year or years, hopes for the new year, all of that. I love it. and I love that, unlike other holidays, I don't really feel the need or even desire to be with others that day -- so the fact that I'm usually not doesn't feel strange or like something i need to fix.

fast food brand: i don't really eat fast food much, or eat out that often at all. but despite the fact that i hardly ever eat red meat, for some reason my brain has associated "i did a hard thing and now i deserve heavy-calorie, easy meal" with Five Guys. which is basically really expensive, wonderfully greasy burgers, and i always feel like shit afterward, but there you have it.

two colors: oh how i love this question... it's hard not to jump to my favorite colors, but that's not what you're asking here. i'm so curious what my friends would say 😆 but me? i think i would say the golden yellow of ginkgo leaves in fall. and... mm, yeah, the dark green of a spruce tree (i looked some up, and i think the black hills spruce tree is the best representation of the green i mean).

<3333 thank you for these questions and the wonderful conversation, friend anon. i hope you had the loveliest of holidays and this week is restful for you.

#friend anon #lovely anons #you've got mail #me

[morkofday]

for the ask game: 4, 8, 12, 21

aliii ♥ thank you so much for this ^^

4. What do you enjoy about making graphics?

tbh i enjoy the whole process - after am done with screenshotting and choosing the images i will use. that part is a pain. but otherwise? i am having so much fun. it is insane how much of a kick i get from something so simple :'D but if i had to choose an exact favorite part out of everything, i think it's either coloring (for edits where colors play a big part, like i.e. the bb seasons one) or the details (for edits where i end up adding stuff that isn't just the pictures, i.e. my danyok edit where i actually liked writing down their dialogue for the ripped paper parts). i also love research which has translated into a lot of symbolism edits lately ^^ (also i have at least three more ideas for things like this bc apparently i love reading about random things online)

8. Your favorite graphic created by yourself

oh boy hmm. i love my latest one bc it was very different from the edits i've been making for bb. my personal fave out of the pics is the one for kryptonite! it was a struggle but looks so nice now. then i also gotta mention this seanwhite edit bc i just grow all soft every time i look at it. it was fun working on the overlays and i think they came out nicely ^^

my absolute favorite edits i've made so far are the sets (1 & 2) i made for dew the movie. i love that movie so, so much, and bc of the emotional connection, these edits are very important to me. i also like how they capture the vibes of the whole movie :')

12. Font(s) you like using

i have a ton! and i try using new fonts all the time. tho i of course have some i always return to. current favorites are:

basic fonts: Quicksand / Josefin Sans / Lemon Milk which all are kind of similar, just simple and clean fonts for basic text

curvy fonts: Adriatne / Crehme Honstlan / Dancing Love / Modena Script / Roses Please / The Scientist which are all big and have long lines that seem to curve nicely around the edits, so to speak. especially Modena Script is one of my go to -fonts if i want the highlighted words to Take Space

brush fonts: Beardies / Castedral / Chasing Embers / Garland / Halcyon / Julya / Mind Rush which i don't use that often anymore but at some point, i was actually obsessed with all these bold brush fonts. now they feel like a bit too much but they still find their way to me sometimes

bold fonts: Al Veshion / Athene / Black Gold / Glimmer of Light / Grozery / NT Josefine which i use A Lot. i have found a new love for this type of bold fonts. they look cool and clean and i can always add effects to them myself (if am not fond of the ligatures)

21. How much time do you spend on a single graphic?

does "single" mean like one image or one sets? i'll take that as one set bc i usually finish the set at once after i start working on it.

but hmm, if i count in the time it takes for me to take screenshots, i'd say maybe 6-8 hours? it depends of course on how long the edit is/how many images the set has, how many details i need to work on, and if my plan for the edit is very detailed or not. for example, my bb sun & moon edit took only a couple of hours bc it's only two images and i had quite clear plans for it (i also had the screenshots ready in my folders haha). then again, the not me seven deadly sins edit actually took 2 days and maybe 10-ish hours (i have not counted really, might be more) plus all the research i did for it during the week. i had plans for it but they kept changing and there were so many details, oh boy. also i failed the white edit once bc i used the wrong colors for him :'D i saved the other version bc i liked how it looked and was kind of sad i had to abandon it, so take it here:

(wrong color bc i somehow got the sloth and gluttony colors mixed up in my head hhh probably bc my initial plan for white was sloth)

thank you once more ^^ this was fun! also a great way to avoid writing my last essay of the semester lol. hopefully this was fun to read too!

ask me graphic maker questions!

#thank youuuu #especially for the font question bc #wow am a hoe when it comes to fonts #and playing around with them #should do new experiments with fonts again #i have some in store am waiting to use

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

What are some books you genuinely enjoyed and think are really well-written?

Liking things?? Me?? Unheard of!

So these are pretty much all SFF because that’s the majority of what I read. Contemporary bores me to death rip

Young Adult:

Shadow glass by Rin Chupeco

I liked the first two books a lot! Unfortunately I think it didn’t really stick the landing in the last one? But the first two are fun, I enjoyed the worldbuilding particularly. And it’s told through a framing device where the protagonist is relaying the story several years in the future, where the circumstances are *completely* different and it’s cool to try to figure out how things are going to turn out the way they are. And like trying to predict how the protagonist is going to inevitably spiral and what is the cause of her falling out with the majority of the people in her life.

The Diabolic by S J Kincaid

This is probably my favorite YA book series? Ever? It’s kind of like… Hamlet in Space if Ophelia was a super soldier bodyguard pretending to be the *real* Ophelia. It’s incredibly YA, it’s incredibly soapy, and an absolute roller coaster. It’s also hard for me not to point out failings in the things I like, and I do think this series makes some… choices, but I do generally love it for how wild it is.

Also the last book came out at some point last year and while I read it on release I’m still percolating on how I feel about it lmao. So I’m still undecided there.

Adult:

The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter

Her writing style >>>>>>

I adore the imagery in all of her stories and the atmosphere. I’m incredibly picky about fairytale retelling and I’m generally pretty damn bored with them at this point, but this collection is just so good.

The titular story is a Bluebeard retelling and it’s just so evocative and brutal! Idk I love it. Erlking and Lady of the House of Love were notable faves.

Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky

This is such an ambitious, odd little space opera! The story follows a colony ship, housing the last of humanity, on a desperate journey to find a safe planet to settle down in.

Meanwhile the chapters alternate by showing us the gradual development and evolution of a society of telepathic matriarchal spiders? Idk it’s impossible to succinctly describe everything this book deals with but it’s very compelling! I felt like the ending was… mildly a cop out? But it’s a very cool book

The Poppy War by RF Kuang

I went into the first book somehow under the impression that it was YA because of the initial academy setting and then it really. really. was not lmao. It lifts heavily from Chinese history, and while it’s not a 1:1 it’s really interesting how it engages with real events. The second book is probably my favorite. Bring me all the naval warfare lol.

But yeah it’s an absolutely gutting series. And like the protagonist commits actual legit genocide. The trigger warnings list is… very very long. So maybe check that out before getting into it.

The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson

I’ve yet to finish this series but I looove the worldbuilding and the protagonist is fucking stone cold omg.

I’ve heard this book described as econipunk? It’s everything I love about court intrigue and getting into the real nitty gritty of how government *works.* Basically the protagonist tries to rise up the ranks within an evil empire that colonized her home country. And she’s just a fantastic Machiavellian type. I love her so much.

Misc:

Anyway I ran out of bandwidth to go over everything else in detail rip but I also love most of Haruki Murakami’s work! NK Jemisin has the coolest ideas, and Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, while def her most uneven work, as a debut, also left a huge impression on me. The Broken Empire trilogy by Mark Lawrence is also extremely grimdark with a villain protagonist but I enjoyed it a lot! Another one where I suggest checking out TWs first. Empress of Salt and Fortune by Nghi Vo is REALLY GOOD it’s also a fairly short novella and I’ve yet to read the sequels. The world buildinggggg. The authors other books also look promising.

I’m also a huge fan of the Vampire Chronicles though…I wouldn’t call them necessarily well written.

Honorable mention to SJM’s first Crescent City book, not because it was necessarily groundbreaking but I was so astonished to actually like it. I haven’t read the sequel yet so idk if that’s going to ruin it for me.

Also to rattle off some classics: the Philip Marlowe series by Raymond Chandler, Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë, Dracula by Bram Stoker (surprising no one). My Cousin Rachel by Daphne Du Maurier.

#this is just off the top of my head I’m sure I’m missing so many good books #book talk #i ramble sometimes #all the bendy punctuations #a mysterious stranger has appeared #*writer's cap*

[katierosefun]

well, here we are! june basically flew by and it was a little rough, but we’re back with some long recs on cool things i’ve read/listened to/watched, and i’m about to force everyone to sit down and listen to my sleepover-esque ted talk in which i give unwarranted and unasked for rec lists. so here we go!

kdrama:

while you were sleeping

okay, so i tried to watch this kdrama when it came out in like...2017, i think? but for some reason, i wasn’t able to get past the first episode. i don’t really know why? because it’s so beautifully shot, and i super love the premise, which is basically this girl and this guy are somehow able to see things that are going to happen in the future...but only in their dreams. this whole kdrama really handled the plot super well--each episode honestly felt like a movie in itself, and the filming was just stunning, and i think this has to be one of the most visual kdramas i’ve ever seen. each character is also super interesting and complex on their own, and i really loved seeing such a strong cast of characters interact with each other in this world. 

i think the only slight downside of this kdrama was that i couldn’t really get invested in the romance? i’m not quite sure why--i found both lead actors’ performances wonderful, and don’t get me wrong, i did think they were cute together as the drama went on, but i still couldn’t find myself buying into the romance until maybe relatively late in the drama (like...ep 11 or so? ep 16 was honestly when i realized that awww, wait, they’re actually super cute). but then again, i feel like the writers weren’t really prioritizing the romance either--i think they really wanted us to think about the beauty of dreams and redemption and how everyone can touch another person’s life in some significant way, so i can’t really be mad about it!

but anyways, overall i really enjoyed this kdrama and watched it all a lot faster than i thought i would! SOLID music, beautiful cinematography, good acting, mostly good writing, and some really memorable characters! def. a must-watch if you love suspense, aesthetics, and some wonderful characters.

the ghost detective

i’m someone who doesn’t like horror or scary things at all, but i was so intrigued by the plot and whatever material i saw on tumblr, and...of course, choi daniel, lee joo young, lee ji ah, and park eun bin. honestly, this is just a really wonderful and really underrated cast, and they really all brought out their a-game for this 32-episode supernatural / thriller / horror drama. basically, this kdrama follows the story of a young woman who’s trying to figure out who murdered her younger sister...and of course, there’s something supernatural going on. 

honestly, this kdrama was such a ride. i loved the crime-solving aspect of it, and i was really in love with the interactions between all the characters, esp. that of eun bin and daniel’s characters. (guys...they’re so ride and die for each other. there’s also so much yearning. so much yearning in this kdrama, it just about killed me--) 

the villain was absolutely, appropriately, elegantly creepy, and like...scary beyond belief. basically, the villain (lee ji ah’s character) feeds her victims these harmful thoughts and ultimately get them to kill themselves. it’s sad and haunting, especially when you see that the victims tell their victims “don’t listen to the bad things. try only to listen to the good things”. and...yeah. themes of how to handle all of these bad feelings inside of you really came through in this kdrama, and there were a lot of themes of suicide and the kind of rage and sadness that comes with that. (also! if you’re a fan of lots of angsty/whumpy situations....this kdrama definitely does not hold back with all of your fave whump/angst tropes! literally! every! episode! i! had! to! lie! down! because! too! powerful!)

school 2013 

(aww, look at this precious cast…as though they didn’t all make me ugly cry at least five times—)

yeah, yeah, yeah, i’ve talked about this kdrama ad nauseum, and i know i watched it last month, but as i was studying for the lsat, i really, really, really needed some comfort. most notably comfort re: studying life, academics, how difficult it is to study but also be uncertain of your dreams…and if you are certain of your dreams, how that sometimes requires studying but that just makes life all the more overwhelming…can you tell i’ve been thinking about this a lot

i’m not going to ramble more about this kdrama considering i already have done so multiple times, but i enjoyed this rewatch and honestly,,,my love for this show has just grown even more. there’s a good reason why people consider this a comfort kdrama, because. i consider myself deeply comforted. also, i’ve been listening to the ost for the whole month. it’s become a problem. but sometimes. sometimes you need to listen to songs that feel like someone’s patting you on the head and telling you don’t give up, set down your burdens, don’t think you’re alone and dream whatever you want to dream, go wherever you want to go. i’ll stop talking now, but god. when i say that i think everyone who has ever felt incredibly tired by work or school and just wished for someone to give them a big hug either then or now...god. this is just one of those kdramas that i think honestly touched so many people’s lives, and i’m very grateful for the cast and crew and writers for ever bringing this story to life. :’) (god, okay, now i’ll stop talking before i make myself cry i’m fine this is fine)

your honor

so, i watched this kdrama thinking that it would be light and funny given that yoon shi yoon is the main male lead, but boy was i wrong--don’t be fooled by these happy little faces, this kdrama is heavy. this kdrama is about a young man (with a criminal record) who winds up impersonating his twin brother, who happens to be a judge. we also have a trainee who, after seeing the legal system fail her older sister, is on the rise to dispense justice through the courts the best she can.

honestly, the first few episodes were rough, mostly because of the content. big trigger warning for rape, violence, and sexual harassment at work. this kdrama really didn’t hold back when it came to addressing how the very people who use the law can also be the very same people who manipulate and abuse it. because of that, i found this kdrama incredibly powerful. that said, it certainly had its lighthearted moments too. 

overall though, i liked this kdrama. the main characters were incredibly complex and genuinely the type to make me believe that for all the injustices in the world, there are still and always will be people fighting for the right thing. as someone who wants to enter the legal field, this kdrama was just uplifting. i was so blown away by the absolute rawness of the main two leads, esp. yoon shi yoon, who i’ve only ever seen in super lighthearted kdramas. so this was a really interesting change of pace, and i genuinely enjoyed watching this!

waiting for love

so this kdrama is just two episodes, and what’s better is that it’s available on youtube! it’s about two college students--a young woman who’s been hurt by falling in love with jerks now just wants to date, not really fall in love...and a young man who’s excellent at giving dating advice except he’s afraid that he’s never going to actually fall in love, so he just dates a girl for the sake of dating.

now, i kinda thought that this show was going to be kinda lighthearted, a little shallow--but it was weirdly...comforting? idk, i found myself liking it a lot more than i thought it would be. this is far from the perfect kdrama, and i kinda wished that we got more than 2 episodes because i think some of the plot points could have been better expanded, but...there were genuinely a lot of scenes that made me think a bit more about what it actually means to be in a loving relationship--like how it’s not enough to just put on a happy smile and eat meals together, but like...you know. there has to be trust and actual liking and also, yeah, maybe a bit of frustration in order to actually know whether a relationship is real or not. and given that the characters were all discussing the pressure on getting married and romance esp. when you’re in your twenties...idk. makes you think about are you dating someone for the sake of appearances? or do you genuinely...like them?

there was also quite a few tropes that i personally adore in this kdrama, which helped balance out the stuff i found more tiring. there was a lot of the “right person, wrong time” stuff going on (you really want the two main leads to get together after a certain point, and you just keep holding your breath whenever they walk past each other and beg please please please let it be this time...), and also that good old “two strangers fall in love with each other purely over writing to each other” (god. first the half of it, then me & au, then greenhouse podcast...something about this trope huh). that said, there were def. some parts that made me “:////” because some of the characters were kind of frustrating, but i’m gonna chalk that up to good writing since i think i was mostly mad about how i knew people like some of the characters lol. overall, i think this might be at least semi-enjoyable--it’s probably not something i’ll watch again, but it def. made me mull over what it means to actually be in a loving relationship, esp. if you’re in your twenties and everyone around you seems to be in happy romantic relationships/getting engaged and whatnot. 

movie: 

columbus 

i’m a firm believer that there are some movies that are meant to cheer you up, some movies meant to make you cry, and then there’s some movies that are just meant to...sit with you. and this movie is definitely one of them. this story follows casey, a high school graduate, and jin, the son of a famous architect. the two of them are both so incredibly exhausted with their lives (casey with her constant worry about her mother, who’s a recovering drug addict; jin with his surface-level lack of concern for his comatose father). in their small town of columbus, indiana, the two of them bond over architecture and just. being quietly there for each other.

this movie’s been compared a few times to lost in translation in the sense that there’s this not quite romance between the two leads, who have a bit of an age gap (john cho and haley lu richardson have about 20 between them!). to be honest, i didn’t really get the sense that there was supposed to be a romance. if anything, it just felt like...two really lonely people finding each other. definitely not a simple friendship--definitely not a familial kind of relationship, definitely intimate. 

idk. i think this movie might not be for everyone--i definitely agree with a lot of past reviewers that this movie is on the slower side. there’s some stuff here about complicated relationships with parents, a lot of cool architecture, really beautiful shots...and overall, it’s just...quiet. it’s lovely, and i can’t really stop thinking about it. it’s subtle, bittersweet, and oddly compelling. might not be the kind of thing you’d want to watch in the middle of the day, but if you’re a little sad and in the mood for something not to necessarily lift your spirits but...at least acknowledge them and sit with you, then...this is the movie to watch. idk. i felt kind of crummy the day i watched this movie, and i felt as though someone just sat next to me on a park bench until the sun went down. (mayhaps specific but hush, i’m writing this right after finishing this movie, so i’m...feeling a certain way.)

wish dragon 

i watched this movie right after watching columbus because a) decided i was in the mood for something lighter, and b) i learned that john cho?? voiced?? the dragon?? (caroline your crush on john cho’s jumping out this month...) 

but anyways! i loved this movie a lot. it was so satisfying? like, just narratively speaking? and the animation was wonderful and also weirdly smooth and satisfying, and there were a lot of funny and touching moments. this movie’s about this young man named din who stumbles upon a magical teapot that holds the wish dragon long--long has to grant din three wishes, and yes, i know, very aladdin, but that said, this movie has so many original twists that it feels weird to call it an aladdin retelling. it really did feel like a movie completely on its own, which i applaud the writer and director for! 

i don’t want to spoil too much of this movie, but something i really enjoyed was that din’s main wish is just to see his old childhood friend again. idk, i think we all have that one friend from when we were really little that we miss--and this movie really dug into that, as well as themes about parents wanting to do the best they can to provide for their kids, and!!! and long the dragon gets his own storyline and amazing character development too!!! i was honestly just amazed at how this movie fleshed out the characters so well and had so many wonderful themes that just made me tear up. guys. this movie’s great. highly recommend for its wonderful characters and the power of friendship. just a grand old time in general. :’))

searching 

yeah...yeah, i wasn’t kidding about my crush on john cho this month. yes, i watched three of his movies within 24 hours. this movie is about david kim who’s looking for his missing 16 year old daughter, margot. this film is honestly noteworthy for many reasons, one of them being that the entire movie is told through like...a laptop screen, as in we kind of follow david’s frantic search through facetime, facebook, tumblr...which i honestly didn’t think i’d be into, but whoo boy, i was wrong. it just added to the whole addictive quality of this movie, as it usually does when it comes to anything from the thriller genre. 

but besides this just being a straight up addictive thriller with absolutely mouth-dropping twists (but like...good twists, and smart twists, good god--), this movie was just...touching? there’s so many themes related to what grief does to a family (because we learn within the first 10 minutes that the mom died due to cancer), and there’s just...something really fragile about relationships between surviving family members. i was absolutely blown away by john cho’s performance as a tentative and grieving widower whose world just absolutely falls apart in his search for his daughter. this movie was just so...real because of that. like, yes, this movie has all of the suspense that you would expect this kind of movie to have, but there was also just...so many beautiful themes about grief and how far parents would go for their kids and godddd yeah no i started sobbing when the movie ended. god. 

also, my bias towards john cho aside, i...really loved his character. david kim is absolutely believable, and like? he’s not just the guy putting the pieces together--he’s also the guy who misses his wife and also the guy who wishes that he was there for his daughter. he’s also the guy who pauses and re-writes all his text messages because he’s trying to be a good dad. i feel like with a lot of these suspense / missing person movies, it’s really easy to have characters who are just the stoic alpha male types--and david kim definitely had his badass moments in this movie, but like...something i just loved was seeing the vulnerability that comes with...having a missing child. being a parent. god. this movie messed me up but in a good way. i can honestly say that this movie is now probably going to be one of my fave movies of all time. highly recommend, am literally obsessed with it.

book:

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid

ohohoho………where to begin with this book. this was one of those books where i was like “huh i kinda don’t understand why people are so obsessed with this book”, but then i hit like...page 20 or 30 and was like “oh god i Literally Cannot Put This Book Down Oh No” and wound up finishing it in like three days (mind you, i only read at like...midnight these days. i don’t understand why either). 

i finished this book at like 2 am and promptly burst into tears because this was just one of those books. it follows the story of evelyn hugo, a famous hollywood actress from the 60s or so and onwards. known for her intense beauty and her seven husbands, she’s now giving an exclusive interview to the young reporter monique grant, where she’s about to tell all about her life. this book had me dropping my mouth multiple times, and i think tjr can spin one hell of a story, with so many good twists and turns and intensely memorable characters. by the end of the book, i was actually mad that evelyn hugo wasn’t a real person, because i, too, fell a little in love with her and thought, i want to actually watch her movies. i want to learn even more about this remarkable woman. 

but alas! she’s not real, so i don’t get to see her accept an oscar or look up all the tabloids about her and her seven husbands or her speculated (and very, very, very real) relationship with celia st. john. basically...i just loved this book. the last line made me smile and laugh and cry a little bit (actually...cry a lot), and y’know...i’ll admit it’s not totally perfect, but i’m glad this book exists, and i’m glad that even though tjr isn’t bi herself, was very adamant in this book about bisexuality being real. just. like. god. once again. mad that evelyn hugo isn’t real. it’s fine, she’s real in my heart.

#caroline talks #caroline recs

[nothingunrealistic]

naturally was going "hmm what kind of fins (fish) would young taylor in the bathtub wish for. how would we know what they think would be the best fish tail to have" & then was just thinking of Younger Taylor Hcs just in general. got any you'd wanna share, or like, any faves from what's been provided either as unofficial ideas or via those glimpses of info in the show's text. Fave can be in a "truly enjoy this" way & or simply more of a "truly Thinking About This An Extra Lot" sense lol. They

Boy Do I… first, a listing of everything we Know from canon about their childhood / early life / family:

taylor grew up in “a place like” connerty’s small apartment where “the heat pipes bang practically all night” in the winter [2x11]

taylor’s mom would deem the apartment they rented for her & douglas too expensive, and if she & douglas were shopping for furniture, they’d argue about how much things cost [4x07]

taylor never thought they’d be thinking about living a life where they book private jets [2x09]

the masons’ home is hundreds of miles from any body of water (as shown here) and douglas had to fly to nyc to see taylor [4x03]

douglas figures taylor’s mom won’t miss him getting in her way back home [4x03]

taylor has a sister; when she gets married, in michigan, taylor is part of the wedding party [2x09]

at a young age, taylor was always measuring information around them, and sweet / affectionate, especially toward douglas [4x03]

taylor’s favorite cereal as a kid was frosted flakes [4x09]

taylor was never really douglas’s “little girl” like he claims [4x03]

the first time douglas brought taylor to his lab, it meant a lot to them, and the next day they gave him designs to remake it [4x06]

douglas taught taylor: “don’t just have an idea, build the model that proves it” [4x07]

according to douglas, taylor gets the “unyielding compulsion to get it right” from him, and their relationship was best when they “kept things mathematical” [4x03]

douglas wishes he could have built real wealth / success and given it all to taylor [4x03]

wendy mentions to taylor that douglas has “exploited your need for his approval,” and taylor agrees that douglas only cares about his own advancement rather than being a father first [4x07]

douglas dislikes the military / the government [4x06]

taylor is surprised by douglas quoting a pop song [4x07]

when taylor was younger, the bathtub was the only place they could go to be alone and think, and they’d press their legs against the sides hard enough to make them go numb [3x11]

taylor started playing online poker at age 12 under the screen name ZackCody892 and played up to 16 tables at a time (and for thousands of hours) [2x03]

douglas was fired from his job at an aerospace firm when taylor was in 7th grade. this firing damaged their relationship with him and “affected the home life.” for years, taylor thought douglas had been fired so that the firm could steal his invention, and only found out the truth from his personnel file [2x11, 4x05, 4x06]

taylor has had 927 hours of therapy prior to their session with dr. gus, and that number hasn’t changed at their first session with wendy [2x03, 2x08]

douglas, in bringing taylor food and coffee, claims they rarely take the time to look after themself [4x04]

taylor used to lie to themself and others but is now past that, and knows “how hard it is to have things inside you that you can’t communicate” and “what it’s like to face public scrutiny over who you are” [2x08, 3x02, 4x04]

when taylor reminds douglas about their pronouns, he says “this talk again?”, implying it’s a discussion they’ve had before [4x03]

taylor once got into a bar fight with a high school classmate (it’s unclear whether they were still in high school at the time) after seeing y tu mamá también in a theater [5x07]

taylor was active in occupy wall street in college [2x10]

taylor played poker in college against classmates, grad students, & professors, but their opponents kicked them out for winning too much; additionally, the competitive aspect made them sick (described as “malaise” or “vertigo-like symptoms”) [2x03, 4x12]

taylor planned to go to chicago for grad school and study with eugene fama [2x02]

mafee picked taylor as his intern because they were the only applicant who wasn’t boring / didn’t care about the same bullshit that everyone from wharton or harvard did [5x04]

douglas initiated the visit to taylor, claiming it was because he’d missed them, after not being ready to see them even though taylor’s mother wanted to visit countless times [4x03, 4x07]

taylor is trying to be “everything to their father” in funding his company, and neither of them will be able to come back from taylor being forced to betray him [4x06, 4x07]

wow that’s a long list. and now, my own thoughts and extrapolations:

taylor grew up somewhere in the west / midwest with their parents and sister, who’s a few years older than them, in a house small enough that they had to share a bedroom with her. hence, needing to hide out in the bathtub to get any space & time alone.

from very early on, taylor was douglas’s favorite child and he was their favorite parent — douglas saw taylor’s intelligence & insight (and saw himself in them) and chose to put time & effort into teaching / guiding / molding them, hoping they’d one day follow in his footsteps / support his ambitions, and taylor liked that attention & recognition. (douglas’s attitude toward taylor’s sister is essentially “well she’s here too i guess.”)

douglas taught taylor enough about aerospace engineering & mathematics for them to understand the value of his lattice fin concept, and to generally have a better grasp of engineering concepts than your average (even very well-read) business major / financier. (remember how rebecca knew a robot’s “proprietary” power source was a combustion engine because her father was a mechanic? same deal here. see also: the “smash electronics apart to find the microchips inside and figure out who makes them” strategy; taylor comparing losing grigor’s money to building a turbo engine and having the nitrous tank blow up in their face.) this manifested in both directly teaching them in his lab and in playing games like the silverware-stacking game we see in 4x03, or like douglas throwing out math problems for taylor to solve on the spot, or the two of them solving math problems together.

douglas also imparted his taste in music (which does not include anything new / popular) to taylor, though their taste as an adult (or even as, like, a teenager) isn’t identical to his. this is how they discovered rush in the first place and why they have such strong opinions about The Best Rush Albums. (if douglas had such a ranking, it’d be closer to axe’s than to taylor’s.)

listening to rush helped make taylor a libertarian 😔 that’s just life when you’re a neil peart stan, which of course they are. they admire his lyrics + his drumming talent + his absolute poker face in performances.

douglas also taught taylor to play blackjack, which inspired them to go and learn poker on their own and start playing online. they tried to keep it a secret, but it's hard to be secretive about spending hours a day playing online poker on the family computer. (this is 2006 or so, after all.)

taylor figured out that they were Not A Girl (or at least had thoughts of “hm i don’t enjoy being addressed / perceived as A Girl”) fairly young but didn’t acquire a concrete vocabulary for / specific understanding of that for some time. (if douglas is calling they/them pronouns “that woke stuff” in 2019, he sure wasn’t saying anything clear or favorable about trans people in 2009 or 1999. ditto for online poker sites.)

douglas’s firing exacerbated every negative aspect of the mason family dynamic. he doubled down on pushing taylor toward his field, urging them to succeed where he’d failed, and warning them against letting anyone Steal Their Value. money got tighter, taylor’s parents argued more, and any activities taylor was in (like, say, swimming at the ymca) that required payment got cut; they may have figured out how to make money (illegally!) from online poker at this point. the combined stress of financial instability, being torn between pursuing their own ambitions and fulfilling douglas’s expectations for them, and increasing Gendered Expectations in general — plus the whole “playing online poker for hours a day” thing — probably put taylor in therapy within a few months, if they weren’t in therapy already. (how did their parents pay for it? i don’t know either.)

stealing this from that interview asia & brian & david did in 2017: if taylor had not already taught themself to think and speak directly & incisively and look people in the eye when they talk, et cetera, it started here, whether in therapy or on their own time.

taylor went to college in new york city. douglas did not want them to do this, for a number of reasons, and would have preferred they stick closer to home (and study something other than finance), but doing so would have made them miserable.

by the time they finished high school (circa 2012), taylor had properly heard of trans people and figured that they were somehow One Of Them, but not until college did they hear of people being nonbinary and go “ohhhh yeah that’s me.” (they’d also gotten a Short Haircut in high school, but didn’t go full buzzcut until college. unsurprisingly, they got some shit in high school for being Visibly gnc.)

for some period of time while figuring out their gender situation, taylor went by the name neil as a nod to neil peart. (it’s fun to imagine that they still have a faceless twitter / tumblr account where they go by neil. doubles as a way to prevent anyone connecting it to their real life.)

taylor came out to their family while in college. their mom and sister had fairly similar reactions of “well i don’t Get this exactly, but i love you and want to support you and i’m sure you know what you're talking about better than i do and you did clearly hate it every time i urged you to conform to Standards Of Womanhood so sure i can call you Them and my [child / sibling] :)” given some time to think about it. douglas… well. if he’s starting from a place of “i don’t get this,” he’ll end up at “so it must be wrong and stupid, because i’m always right,” especially if This = his favorite child being different in some significant way from who / what he thought they were. obviously he doesn’t react well or supportively, and the strain in his relationship with taylor tips over into full-blown estrangement. bad times for everyone.

if taylor’s bar fight happened when they were old enough to legally enter a bar, it happened after coming out to their family (also after the live poker fiasco), and before making plans for grad school / internships. most likely it was on a summer break they were spending back in their hometown. (another fun thought: taylor seeing the video of axe punching a guy, just weeks after they punched a guy, and going “well maybe i should work for him.”)

if douglas was at taylor’s sister’s wedding (and maybe he wasn’t!), it was awkward for everyone when he and taylor crossed paths again. barest of pleasantries, passive-aggressive comments, et cetera. naturally, it took a few more years — and douglas realizing that taylor, now being fairly wealthy and successful, could probably fund his dream project if they didn’t hate him — for him to decide to visit them.

#inbox #unproduciblesmackdown #billions #taylor mason #douglas mason #this post brought to you by ''if i had you'' and ''for your entertainment'' by adam lambert. absolute bangers #also partway through writing this i went and searched ''neil peart stan'' (sans quotes) on twitter and i definitely didn't get there first

[waywardfacegarden]

What is your ult fav anime and ult fav otp? You can only choose one *evil grin*

First of all, thank you so much for the ask!!!! I love getting asks, it always makes me so happy when people are interested in me, haha🤣💜 Second of all, the answer will be under the cut because... it somehow got too long... but I mean. You can’t ask me about ships or anime and don’t expect that with how much I babble here all the time about those things specifically, LOL.

So, anon, I hope you don’t mind me giving you an almost-essay as an answer to this!!🤣

HAHA, anon, you are evil!!!! bUT. I actually have an answer to this!! Haha. I didn’t need to think about it, either! As much as I absolutely love and die for a lot of animes, I always tell people my favorite favorite anime is Erased/Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi. I read the manga later and well, the manga is even better!! The resolution of the conflict, the background of the villain, the story is much more developed/better explained in the manga, but even when the anime is not a super amazing adaptation, I still think it did an amazing job!! The reason(s) of why this is my favorite anime is(are) simple: I love every single character (except. you know. the evil ones, haha). I’m usually not that attracted to protagonists, but Satoru has my heart in his hands. I’m so attached to him. He’s selfless, smart, tries his very best and loves so deeply. I absolutely love how the author managed the women/girls in the story, too. I started watching it without knowing a single thing more than “oh, he’s trying to solve a murder” and OH BOY, did I was surprised with the very first episode!!! Never ever have screamed so much and lose my shit that much with a first ep, and that’s saying a lot asjdkasjd. Maybe it was because I didn’t know a single thing, but either way, I was obsessed since the very first seconds. I love the villain, even when people say it was “obvious, lazy or predictable” since the start. I love Satoru’s mom. I love how it is dark and sad but just the right amount. I love how much it made me feel. I sobbed, and screamed, and laughed, and almost wanted to break my laptop while watching, too, lol. It seriously is an amazing anime. The characters, dynamics, the plot, everything was so well-done! I would die for the kids, for Satoru’s mom, for Airi. Their dynamics make me melt. The writing is fantastic!! I feel like time-traveling and solving murders are delicate things that, if you don’t know how to handle, are gonna fail you. If you don’t know how to connect things, the story is not gonna feel rewarding, it’s going to feel confusing. But with Erased, everything made sense and connected until the end, which is something I’m obsessed with. Add that to the freaking stellar animation, the aesthetic of it (I still love the subtle change in colors/that black framing in the “past” asdkajf), and the fact that I’m so, so, sooo weak for thrillers + science fiction-ish and kids as protagonists, lol. So, yeah, anon, that’s my fave anime, even when I love, love, love, LOVE a lot of more. I could talk about like, maybe 30 animes with so much love it would amaze you, lol. And that’s just talking about anime, ohhh how many mangas do I love, too... But yeah!!! Even if I don’t talk about this anime enough on here, I think is criminally underrated, and I talk about it to everyone irl I know, lol.

About my favorite ship!!!! HAHA, the thing is. I have like 500 ships and I probably would die for like. 100 of them. Easily. I even have my top of faves, tbh, haha. But my ultimate favorite ship is sasunaru/narusasu. Maybe it’s a very “basic” answer, I don’t know, lol, but I seriously think they always will be. I won’t talk so much about them because then I’d never shut up and this answer is already so long ajsdkadj (I feel like that twitter thread that is like “okay, i’ll try to be brief (1/475)” LOL). But the reason why they are my fave is because I’ve never became this obsessed with a ship before. They were the first ship I felt so deeply for. They had me since the very first eps and continued to rip my heart out, to made me FEEL so much for both of them; for their longing, for their yearning, for their love for each other. The fact that they’re two broken boys who found the connection they so desperately craved for in each other? The fact that Sasuke taught Naruto, a boy who was hated all his goddamn childhood for something he didn’t even know about, what love was, what sacrificing yourself for someone was, what caring was? The fact that Shippuden is about Naruto so desperately trying to understand, trying to make Sasuke understand, and loving Sasuke so fiercely back (without giving a damn about what other people said, without giving up on him, saying that if being smart meant giving up on Sasuke than he rather being dumb all his life)? The fact that the first part of Naruto is about Sasuke doing all those little things and making Naruto feel validated, loved, cared for, seen? And then Shippuden is about Naruto screaming into a void, trying to tell Sasuke “I love you, too, I love you back, as deeply as you did, and I want you to know that even if I don’t understand, I want to understand, I want to be there for you, I care for you so much that just the very idea of you being dead or hurt gives me an attack; I want you to be okay, and I’m never giving up on you”?? The fact that I still sob like a baby every time I watch ONE minute of that last battle and the fact that Naruto answering Sasuke to “you’ve been saying that all the time, but what exactly... does that (being your friend) mean to you?” with “even if you ask me, I can’t exactly put it into words. I just... when I saw you hurting, it... kinda... hurt me, too. So much that I couldn’t stand it, that I couldn’t just leave you alone” STILL KILLS ME LIKE THE FIRST TIME EVERY SINGLE TIME I HEAR IT. LIKE GOD. MY HEART CANNOT. It’s just so emotionally rewarding seeing they make amends at the end and also discover how the other has been loving the other back just as deeply as they did. -- They’re also just a bunch of tropes I love piled up together, tbh, and the kind of characters I love having paired up. The tsundere-ish kid with a dark past, that’s so kind and so selfless and loves so deeply that it breaks him plus the kid with the tragic backstory that’s basically The Sun itself, a bit dumb but also so caring and so cool, and the one that makes the tsundere-ish boy’s heart go all doki doki. Idk, I just love my rivals trope, my “could have been childhood friends if they just had the courage to talk” trope, the “I care so deeply about you and love you with all my soul” trope, piled up with so many emotional layers and so deep emotional connection??? Oof. They’re just my very first ship and the one that practically owns my heart and soul. They have so many layers and they hurt me but also melt me and heal me and make me fall in love with their raw, pure love. They’re soulmates, your honor. Haha. They just... really make me feel so much, I can’t quite explain it. As much as I love, love, love, LOVE all my ships, they’re... different, I guess. They even made me write for them. My very first fics, my very first tryings/attempts to write was for them. And to be honest, I was obsessed with Naruto for such a long time... (maybe because it was my first anime LOL). Sasunaru/Narusasu and all their moments (that I kid you not, I remembered like every little thing in the 700+ eps, even with the NUMBER on which ep it happened, of them. The exact lines, too.) was like, everything I talked about for like. Half a year or more, LOL, and my mom wouldn’t let me lie, she knows. After school, I was in the car and was mentioning for the 50th time that moment Sasuke recognized it wasn’t Naruto in the Chuunin Exams bc Naruto used the kunai in his other leg. LOL. I was eating and I was talking about the battle of the Valley of the End. It was dinner and I was talking about that ending with the lyrics “please kiss me, please kiss me all night”. I just. They’re so important to me. They mean so much to me. And I know I said I was going to be brief so I better shut up now ajsdkajsd. But, yeah, they’re my favorite. :’)

#asks #about me #sns #boku dake ga inai machi #erased #thank you so much for this ask anon!!!! #it made me so happy!!!! #it also let me ramble a bit about my fave things so. thanks a lot #hope you're doing super amazing!!! #hope you have an amazing week too!!!!!!!!!! #love you!!!! #take care!!!!!!!!! stay safe!!!!!! #*sending positive and warm vibes your way* #(i think the answer of the ship was kinda expected LOL)

[youcantfiremebecauseiquit]

idk if u care but crispin gray recently had an interview about his entire career and it kind of changed my perspective of queenadreena…idk if for better or for worse lol. it was weird to see him so dismissive of a lot of his catalogue w katie except for ‘love your money’ just because that was the only remotely chart successful song. i get you want to be able to sustain yourself but jeez him and katie really had a weird back and forth relationship

Sorry i'm replying late, i've seen the interview pop up on Youtube but honestly i was too invested in university shit recently & generally not in the good mood for that but i'm planning to watch. How did it change your view on Queen Adreena, did he say something mean specifically on QA or Katie? I mean i gotta watch it but honestly? Not surprised in the slightest. A few years ago he was asked to describe fave songs he recorded throughout the years and he listed more of Daisy Chainsaw ones than anything else, with Love Your Money as number 1. The differences in their points of view are real something, Katie Jane absolutely HATED Love Your Money, same as Daisy Chainsaw. Kinda apparent he wanted bigger fame but DC dropped fast and QA failed to live up to their predictions.

i had a time when i liked to dig up old Queen Adreena interviews that are lost in the old internet & generally not available for years (which i planned to post on is-she-suffering but my investment in that site is... varied in its intensity). Also that was back in the days when i wrote Queen Adreena book during manic phase and tried to sell it but lost motivation Well since i don't do anything with that knowledge anyway i'll put what i know here as i love fan discussions

So they sure had/have odd back and forth love-hate relationship & that's the reason why their career went how it went. There's been a huge tension between them at some point. I'm sure you know she had a major mental breakdown (probably schizophrenic episode) after Daisy Chainsaw, or even beginning before her leaving, and then she went into isolation and lived with an old woman in Lake District for awhile. She left Daisy Chainsaw cause Crispin didn't want her to come up with her own songs (all of DC was by Crispin except for Lovely ugly brutal world by KJ).

They almost split up as Queen Adreena after Drink Me. The material for The Butcher and The Butterfly was written at different times, originally it was meant to be called Atom Bomb at Bikini but it was constantly delaying and they eventually recorded everything they've got live. So that's obvious right? But i was surprised to find out they were writing songs separately. Some of them (i forgot which though) were written by Katie Jane and Pete Howard's sons band (they're even credited) + some with Melanie Garside, Richard Adams + some other musician. Katie Jane didn't like it. They intended it to be their last album at the time. She also hated live at ICA show but they released it cause they were broke

But that's a digression. I just wanna say that at this point they were done with each other but kept pushing it. Katie had her own art projects and stuff, Crispin started Dogbones with Nomi and i just remember how vaguely pissed at Katie he waas in the interviews. Like he stressed that Dogbones is his number one priority and if Katie wants to do something with Queenadreena, she must wait til Dogbones have a break first or something, and it sounded oddly bitter.

RaCH and Djinn era are just so weird, they had opportunities but let them go in a way. I don't think many people know but they were huge demand in Japan. They entered album charts and were interviewed by 11 magazines and 6 (!)TV stations there (wtf happened to that material i want to know???). But they only played 5 times or less.

Katie said she considers the band dead but they decided they can try to play for a couple more months. But aside from that she 100% lost the interest in the band around Djinn. There's an interview where she says "the overall image is Crispin but the shape will change again at rehearsals". And you can hear it, it’s more blues rock than anything. IMO it's their worst production wise. Instruments are fine but Katie's voice is so badly produced that sometimes i find some songs fucking irritating, cause they didn’t cut out her breaths and the vocals are TOO LOUD, to the point of distorting. As if she stands too close to the mic. The album is fine but it feels unfinished.

And here we come back to Crispin... here's what he said after the QA split:

Why the Dogbones started? “I needed to work more than the previous band I was in was working, the previous band who shall remain nameless, haha… um… Queenadreena. I wanted to work more than the singer of Queenadreena wanted to work… so that’s why it started. Fine by me… but I really like to be in a band, I’m not a solo project kind of guy. The last album (‘Djin’) did come out in the UK, but it was so low key because Katie kind of disappeared so there was little point in promoting it. Personally it’s my favourite by far so it was a shame but there you go… So here are Dogbones, it’s not been an easy ride but we are trying very hard.

Ok so the bitterness is kinda apparent isn't it. I think there were two reasons why they argued so much, first musical differences. Katie at some point lost interest in loud rock music for some years and went the folk way in Ruby Throat. I have a theory that Taxidermy and Drink Me are more influenced by Katie Jane and Butcher and Djinn are more Crispin. During first albums i think Katie more actively took part in music composition and choosing arrangements. She wrote lyrics, melodies but also composed a lot of songs on some little electronic keyboard thing and 4 track (Heavenly Surrender, Pray for me, My Silent Undoing, all Lalleshwari +more). Plus she wanted more peaceful/dreamy sound on Taxidermy than full on rock, Crispin complained about it in some 00's interview, that he'd like it to be more rock. Then there are 2 versions of Drink Me, the original has rough and alt versions of songs (it was sold by Katie and it's leaked on FB and probably YT). Crispin Gray apparently really hated the final Drink Me. Now next album is The Butcher & The Butterfly and it's more standard blues rock, no more crazy dreamy things of previous albums etc., Djinn is even more blues rock but darker. Djinn was his favourite at some point while KJ hated Butcher, not sure about Djinn. So i think they had different views on where they should go, Katie made her weird simplistic creepy tunes (like Lalleshwari) and folk melodies adding that strange things to noise rock. Crispin probably wanted blues & rock.

Other than that, i’m convinced they are bitter exes, lol. There’s been rumours about them dating during Daisy Chainsaw for years, plus Katie had a history of dating band members. Crispin wrote X-ing off the days about her. I don’t know if they dated again in Queen Adreena. Then there’s this interview, timeline is unclear, either The butcher & the butterfly or later:

„Katie writes all the songs herself and often looks for melodies and structure with the drummer. With Crispin - her husband or ex-husband, which is not entirely clear to me - for almost three years she has no longer been in a room. "Sometimes we send him a letter with a new song and that's all we can do. All we have are our lungs and our musical talent and we have to do with it. It is repugnant difficult life, I know most of the time how I should deal with it." But Queenadreena will still remain even exist? "I think so, we are now pretty busy and I see where the ship aground.”

I always wondered what exactly happened after Djinn, i’ve seen Katie Jane say „i think they gave up on me” while others said she disappeared. Other times CG said there’s no bad blood between them but at the same time there’s been some weird tension.  As of recent i thought they reconnected somehow through the internet and had a good relation but who really knows.s

I get why Crispin gets irritated when people compare everything he does to „stealing from KJ” but honestly, he gave them good reasons, at least in the 90’s. I can believe Starsha Lee singer isn’t copying Katie cause she’s from Brazil or something and she didn’t know Queen Adreena before. But everything else… Crispin’s problem is that he doesn’t know what he wants. He spent 90’s chasing something, tried singing himself, had girl singer replacements and even one KJ copy. Dogbones was ironically his most original non-Katie band, even with all their grunge influences. In a way he wants to be a frontman and at the same time doesn’t. Idk if he’s very controlling, but Daisy Chainsaw shows he valued his songs/lyrics first & in Queen Adreena he had to step back a lot, cause Katie’s condition was she would be in charge of the lyrics. I don’t think he realizes how strongly Daisy Chainsaw issues affected Katie, i mean from her own words you can read that aside from media attention/hate, her being unable to write lyrics had a role in her breakdown. I think she now let go but for years she hated remembering Daisy Chainsaw and she felt kind of worthless cause she was only somebody else’s mouthpiece. I’m not trying to say he’s cruel or anything, but i firmly believe rock lyrics writers should sing their own songs or else there are problems.

They both were writers-composers with different vision and i have impression they struggled a lot while shaping their songs, cause they both stuck to their ideas. Hence 2 versions of Princess Carwash maybe. Katie once said that he „gets terribly upset with her” cause she writes her songs on a simple wind organ and uses a few chord buttons only. Clash of writer ways/personalities/egos and at some point they had to let go.

Maybe he prefers music/bands where he was 100% in control including lyrics (note he wrote/sang some lyrics in Dogbones too). Daisy Chainsaw achieved bigger success US and UK wise as they were offered to play Top of The Pops, and they’re more well liked/remembered by „general alt public”. Queen Adreena however is way more valued as a cult band, with cult following and admiration in UK & France. Most people think Pretty Like Drugs and other QA songs are his best work and he probably finds it irritating cause truth is, he never managed to be more successful than Daisy Chainsaw/Queenadreena. Love Your Money is ironically the least Crispin Gray/DC/QA sounding song in my opinion. I kinda find it irritating that he downplays Queen Adreena cause it was probably his best work in this band but whatever

So yeah sorry for the word spill, that’s what i can think of it right now but as i said, i haven’t watched the interview yet, it’s just this kind of treatment is in a way consistent for him

#asks

[azure-steel]

‘Ship Bias’

Send ‘Ship Bias’ and I will share up to 5 Ships I have a bias for for my muse!

Oof, it’s gonna be hard to pick just 5... lol. I’ll do my best but these ships will be blog specific, I hope that’s okay~

Also under a readmore because I have a tendancy to ramble on like a mad woman about this sort of thing xD They are also in no particular order. 

1 - Sefikura - Now I understand that this ship is not everyone’s bag. But both Cloud and Sephiroth are absolute faves of mine, (Almost equal in fact, and the only reason I didn’t take Sephiroth up as a muse myself was because I know that I wouldn’t be able to do his character justice lol) so I suppose that it was sort of a natural thing for me that I’d ship these two together, however there are 2 blogs that my Cloud has romantic/sexual connections with so I’ll talk about both of them here.

@blackwinged-silversolace - Firstly, the way in which Nemain writes her Sephiroth is nothing short of INCREDIBLE and if you ain’t following then you need to get on that pronto! But this particular ship hits all the buttons I have for the typical toxic and domineering relationship that’s happening here. Less a romance than it is a means of control over a lesser power. But also there’s conflict within them both which I absolutely love. Cloud attempting to fight an insatiable craving to simply give in to Sephiroth’s call to arms in his fight to obliterate the world as they know it, and ultimately failing. And Sephiroth’s battle against what he feels he wants and what he knows he NEEDS. It’s just a concoction of abject co-dependency that neither of them truly want but slip into anyway and I just adore how much power this relationship holds when it comes to battling against forces much stronger than they are. I love it!

@neko-mun-rp - Unlike the above, this ship could possibly the polar opposite, where Sephiroth has caused so much damage but found the strength to vanquish the demon controlling him and work on becoming a better man despite the devastation he’s already caused. Cloud has the ability, in this ship, to see past the monster Sephiroth once was and fall for the man that he was always meant to be in the light of Seph’s redemption. Because Cloud knew him once, before Jenova assumed control and he now feels he has a sort of responsibility to aid Sephiroth climb out of his despair and lead the life he’d once always dreamed of. I had my reservations about this sort of ship actually working for me, but it just... did, and I am absolutely here for it!

2 - Cloti. 

@oflockhearted - I’m gonna be super honest here okay? I’m a bit fussy with my Tifa’s because Cloti can sometimes cause a little bit of contention depending on how people want to view this relationship in canon. Cloud did not treat her very well, I understand and accept that he made a few errors of judgement and perhaps took advantage of the fact that Tifa would always be a constant in his life. I get it, I don’t need reminding, but he did have his reasons, and those reasons were also valid. But with this ship in particular, I feel like Cloud can... I dunno... let himself go a bit. There was no true build up for this romance to work, the pair of them just sort of fell into the pattern on their own and I feel like they mesh together perfectly. Because Cloud still has his moments of doubt and feels that Tifa could do so much better than him. But she’s always there, building him up and making him stronger and I like to think that he does the same for her when she needs reminding that she’s amazing~

3 - Cloud and Maru

@primalvessel - Okay, so this was possibly the first proper established ship that I gained here and one that I feel so invested in that it has to be one of my all time faves. These two, initially, seem like a bit of an “Odd Couple” given that Cloud is quite a solitary creature, a lil sombre and a bit recluse where as Maru is the polar opposite of this with his playful, bubbly and excitable nature. They met under some rather extenuating circumstances, and Cloud somehow helped Maru get away from a life of slavery even if he did that in a roundabout way. But I think that in doing so, you know, giving Maru that push rather than just taking him by the hand and leading him away, that he forced Maru to gain his own footing which furthered the respect Maru has for Cloud as a whole. But, of course, the more time they started to spend together after coming into contact again after that instance, feelings started to develop. Because there’s something about Maru that brings out the best in Cloud, he forces him to see the brighter side of any given situation, and of course, who doesn’t like a soft kitty purring on their lap of an evening? I love them, alright? So so much... ;o;

4 - Clerith

@pulchralilium - I had my reservations about this ship for a long time, NOT because I like Cloti and have that irritatingly immature view that one cancels out the other (THEY’RE NOT REAL PEOPLE. JUST SHIP WHAT YOU LIKE OKAY?!) but due to both Cloud and Aerith’s close connections to Zack. There was something a lil too convoluted about the implications there that made me feel that they could never really work as a couple. Boy... was I wrong. This ship has torn my heart in two, in all honesty, because both of them are so strong but in different ways which makes them, possibly, the ultimate POWER couple. Where Cloud’s strength lies mostly in the physical, Aerith is so emotionally powerful that they compliment one another so well, that, as a unit, they sort of become this glorious WHOLE. Interactions on wire have helped me see just how good they are together, how much Aerith adores him and just how protective he is over her. Because Cloud is Aerith’s shield, and ain’t nothing getting to her without getting through him first! So much love for Clerith, so so much~

5 - Cleifer (Cloud x Seifer) 

@hyperionswrath - Just throwing this one out there now because, again, I have so much love for the toxic, manipulative and controlling ship. Though despite all those negatives I’ve just listed, there is NOTHING non-consensual about this relationship. Seifer likes to think he has absolute control over how this relationship develops, and to a degree he does, but Cloud is there of his own conviction. It’s an unlikely match considering the popularity that is StrifeHart, but this, for me at least, really works for these two. A romance built on hatred and resentment that boils over and becomes something new, something intense and exciting that both of them just want more and more AND MORE... ugh... I live for this, and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t think about these two a whole FUCKING LOT! 

#ask meme #answered #I love talking about my ships okay? #LOVE IT #holywhitemateria #{what do you want? - asks}

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #373

“warm me up in a nova’s glow  /  and drop me down to the dream below”

Have you ever kissed someone that you thought you’d never kiss? Welp, never thought I'd kiss a girl for most of my life. When was the last time you ate take-out and what was it that you ate? Mom bought us breakfast at Bojangle's the morning after my sleep study. I got a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. Do you enjoy when guys hit on/flirt with you or does it normally make you uncomfortable or annoyed? When was the last time more than one guy was flirting with you at a time? It makes me uncomfortable, especially if it's very obvious and pushy. Like some respectful flirting is fine and can be flattering if I'm single, but you better respect my boundaries and not act like a dog. I don't think two guys have both been openly interested in me since Juan and Jason in high school. Can you name five things you enjoy looking at pictures of? Animals, flowers, waterfalls, expressions of love between people, and boudoir. Would you rather have an eternal winter or an eternal summer? Both sound pretty sucky, but an eternal summer sounds worse. Do you know much about the Greek gods? Not anymore. I did in high school, as mythology was an elective I took. Are there a lot of stray cats and dogs near where you live? Not in this neighborhood. How would you cope with living in isolation away from society? How long do you think you could cope before you went mad? Oh god, I couldn't cope. I'd lose my shit so fast. Have you ever found any hidden treasure? No. Would you ever want to hibernate through the winter? No, I enjoy winter. Which holiday do you prefer, Halloween or Christmas? I like the Halloween vibe more, but I enjoy Christmas more as a holiday. Do you prefer hot or cold drinks overall? Cold. What’s the smallest thing you’ve ended a relationship over? I don't believe I've broken up with anyone over something small. Have you or a member of your family been diagnosed with COVID yet? My older sister got it. It was hell. What’s the dominant color in the room you’re in at the moment? An off-white. Do you know who your mom’s favorite singer is? James Hetfield of Metallica. Easy. What room in your house is the messiest? The spare room. Have you ever used a “puppy face” to get your way? Ha, yeeeaaah... If you could change any law that exists in your current country, what would it be and why? Here comes free healthcare. For obvious reasons. What were the last toppings you had on a pizza? Pepperoni. Would you rather spend an hour walking a dog or riding a horse? Riding a horse. Do you freak out when you need to visit the doctor or the dentist? Nah. Do you prefer The Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit movies, if you like any of them? I haven't watched either. Which Harry Potter film was your favourite? What about your least favourite? I haven't watched those, either. What do you think about nose piercings? I like them. Nostril studs especially are really cute imo. How many floors does your house have? One. What’s your favorite flavor of Kool-Aid? I don't really like Kool-Aid anymore. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Yeah, a cyst. Do you enjoy sappy love songs? Unabashedly. Do you wear a one-piece or a two-piece when you go swimming? One-piece. What would be your biggest pet peeve in a relationship? Not communicating your feelings straight-up. Be straightforward and honest with what you're going through with your partner, for the love of God. Have you ever had a teacher hit on you? Have you ever hit on a teacher? No to both. Do you tend to eat more on Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas? Christmas, because of chocolate stocking stuffers and boxes from Dad, haha. Do you know what an "AMV" is? Yeah, I used to make them. Do you think you have a sad life? In some ways, yeah. What’s one award show you have to watch every year? None. Who do you like more: the Batman or the Joker? The Joker, particularly Heath Ledger's. Do you like Rammstein? Love 'em. What is your favorite small dog breed? Aesthetically, I think pugs, but I've said before and I'll say it a thousand more times: I don't support breeding them. What was the first comic book you ever had an obsession over? I've never been obsessed with a comic book. Do you like kids pop-up books? Those were my absolute favorite kind AS a kid. What is your mother's mother's maiden name? Ummm I'm pretty sure Collins. Have you ever pet a monkey? No. What’s your favorite Owl City song… besides "Fireflies?" I actually really like "Hot Air Balloon." What’s your fave Miley Cyrus song? I don't know many, but I do know "The Climb" is absolutely gorgeous. Fave Rascal Flatts song? Probably "My Wish." But I also really like "Why" and "What Hurts the Most." Fave Justin Bieber song? None. Miley Cyrus, Demi Lavato, or Selena Gomez? Jesus, you really like bands that I don't, haha. I don't know any Demi or Selena songs, so idk. Fave Eminem song? Oh man, I do like a lot of Eminem. I know it's so cliche, but I genuinely adore "Love The Way You Lie." It gives me goosebumps. Do you think you could survive a month of solitary confinement? NO. Absolutely not. I would lose my motherfucking mind. What is something that you find utterly boring? Sports, save for dance, are incredibly blah to me. What noise/sound can put you to sleep? Gentle, steady rain tapping on the window. When you are upset, do you tend to shut others out? YYYYYYYYYYYEP. When was the last time you felt abandoned by someone? bleh Does the sight of blood gross you out? No. Do you like red roses, or do you prefer another color? I love red ones, but I really, really like the ones with a pink-peach gradient. Have you ever gone through a red light? I think I MIGHT have accidentally because I was zoned out, but I don't THINK so. Do you fail to stop for stop signs, sometimes? I can't recall if I ever have. What is one of your major turn-offs? Misogyny. The moment you act like you exceed my worth just because you have a dick, byyyyyeeee~ During which year of your life were you the most unhappy? 2016 was hell on Earth for me. Have you ever seen a blue jay in person? I have. Do you like leaves better in the summer/spring, or in the fall? I'd like to meet someone that actually chooses anything besides fall, lol. Do you like the appearance of green eyes? YES! Do you typically like green-colored candies? Yessss. It's not rare for them to be my favorite flavor of whatever the thing is. Who is the most energetic and happy person you know of? My nephew, omg. Have you ever encountered a black widow? I actually have seen at least one to my memory. They're native here. Has an animal ever peed on you? Yes. Do you prefer green or purple/red grapes? I enjoy both, but I prefer green IF they're actually firm. What color is your birthstone? Purple. Why did you leave your house last? To go to the TMS office. I have to go there every day (but the weekends) for two months for treatment now. Is anything on your body sore? Well, inevitably my upper right arm, where my tattoo is. It looks so fucking beautiful redone though, it's all worth it. :') Have you ever eaten a cookie cake before? If so, was it good? Hell yeah man, cookie cakes are great. Do you lose interest in someone easily? I'm quite the opposite. Who was the last person you flirted with? Sara. Do you still talk to the person you fell the hardest for? No. Who’s the last person that slept over your house? My sister and her husband. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Yes. Are you currently sad about anything? I mean, I always am about something. How would you feel if your last ex fell in love with someone else? I would be super happy for her. Who was the last person who left your life and hurt you? Colleen. Do you know anyone who died of breast cancer? I might know of somebody, but all I know personally are survivors. Do you miss any of your old friends? Well of course. Have you ever been used before? I don't know. Ever taken a picture kissing someone? Yes. What’s the last thing you and your sibling laughed about? I Don't know. I haven't seen either in some time. What’s the last thing you took a picture of? A meme to send Sara, haha. Do you listen to classical music? No. Do you tell your parents who you like? Why or why not? I mean, I don't just randomly bring it up because just being like "hey I like this person _____ now" seems weird. Now if I was asked or mentioning it is somehow relevant, then I will. Who’s the most annoying person in your neighborhood? The damn dog next door who never shuts up. Name one of your psycho exes? None. I was the "psycho ex," and it's embarrassing as shit. Do you make your own clothes and/or add designs to them on your own? No. Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? It's not something I always actively think about, but subconsciously, I absolutely always do. Especially knowing my family doesn't buy from "ethical" markets, but instead big ones. "Ethical" in quotations because there is no moral way to slaughter an animal for food, but at least there are smaller farmers who can give their livestock a better, cleaner, happier life. What are you listening to at the moment? I'm semi-watching Gab play Bioshock. I'd never seen the game before, so just kinda vicariously checking it out. Seems all right. Does anything hurt right now? My tattoo is definitely in the sore phase. It'll start scabbing soon. I literally can't stop looking at it, I love it so much. How many years have you lived at the house you’re living in right now? Around 1 1/2. Have you ever lived in a different country that the one you’re living in? No. Which of your parents will you see next? I live with my mom and rarely see my dad, so. Do you like Chinese food? Only pork fried rice and egg rolls, really. What sort of music were you brought up on? When all of us kids were very little, Mom would usually play her rock channels on the radio, sometimes a (clean) CD. She also would ensure to play kids' cassettes sometimes, too, like Raffy or whoever it was. Once Ashley reached a certain age, she would always ask for a pop channel to be put on, so most of my childhood was that and some country music, too.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''castle of glass'' by linkin park

[jlf23tumble]

Fic rec anon here, and I'm blanking in the moment! I know you have a lot of recs and I love them all. Maybe your favourite AUs? Broadly speaking? Seeing some of them might help jog me into more specific categories ! xx

Gotcha, sort of like my prison rec list, only I like to think of it more in terms of what would I have on my phone to read when I’m bored and traveling, lol. Obvs, this sort of list is super hard, but having it focused on AUs kinda helps? At any rate, this isn’t a deep dive, it’s just my top level, so hopefully it’ll spark you. These are in no particular order, so come back if you want more!

Tuxedo Dress-Up, by Blake (honestly, ANYTHING in this fandom by Blake, I file this one under hot and hilarious, but every line is just swooooon). Louis is an aspiring song writer by day, a makeup artist for drag queens by night, and masquerading as a full-time real estate agent for his third most famous (and first most handsome) client Harry Styles.Or, five times they fail to fuck in a closet, and one time they get it right.

Once Upon a Dream, by objectlesson (again, ANYTHING by Phoenix, and most of it is canon, but where to even start with her AUs, jesus god, I struggled to rec just one, so I went with the AU she gifted me, ilu!!!!). “M’not gonna half-ass our fake relationship,” Louis almost snaps, voice sharp with a defensive edge, like Harry wandered too close to a bruise with needy fingers. “Now kiss me again. We’re gonna make every shitty tourist here wish they had stayed in the Midwest. We’re gonna burn Disneyland down with our gay.” Or, a fake dating AU where everyone is lying and they happen to be at the Happiest Place on Earth.

knock knock, i love you, by @thelovejandles aka beautlouis (another one of my fave authors in this fandom, proof that wips DO finish, and they’re absolutely worth it). Harry and Louis get kicked out of a statistics exam for passing a knock knock joke note, and subsequently fall in love. Harry's a virgin, there's a cat, a hot cocoa date, a lot of sex, even more knock knock jokes, and everything is lovely and happy.

Tied Down, by @ham-palpert (the twists and turns here, my goddd, just masterful) The most interesting case in Liam and Niall's careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson. The investigation yields an unexpected yet satisfactory outcome for Liam and Niall. For Harry and Louis, however, things are far more complicated.

Alien Roadtrip! by @helloamhere (needs ao3 account; I love desert roadtrips, and this captures that vibe perfectly, plus it’s hilarious). For the first time in his life, Louis doesn’t know where he’s going. Harry doesn’t mind. Or, a roadtrip with desert feelings, too much snack food, and empty motels. Harry is definitely absolutely not an alien. That would be ridiculous.

Harry Styles Cooks..., by @magicalrocketships aka sunsetsmog (aka the very best wip on earth, I weep with joy whenever I get the notif). In which Louis Tomlinson can’t cook, there’s a very special shower curtain, and Harry Styles used to be a baker. Or Louis owns all of Harry Styles’ cookbooks, and he never intends to cook a single thing out of any of them.

just call me inspiration, by @hereforlou (in which I *am* Liam Payne, porn editor!) The truth is Louis knows he’s going to hell, if there is such a thing, but it isn’t because he writes erotic fiction for a living. If anything, it’s because his muse, the reason he’s inspired to write about people shagging in increasingly creative ways everyday, is the sweetest, loveliest, most genuine (and completely oblivious) future children-book illustrator in the world.

Buried Like Treasure, by @becomeawendybird aka quickedween (marcel marcel marcel!!!). Prince Harry Styles is very private. He chooses to keep himself out of the public eye but feels lonely and isolated while surrounded by people in his hectic royal life. When he finishes his dissertation, he decides to take a solo holiday to one of the royal family's properties in the Swiss Alps. Semi-retired thief Louis Tomlinson has been pulled in for one last job: steal a painting from an uninhabited mansion. Neither one of them expects a natural disaster.

into another serotonin overflow, by @mercutionotromeo (this story packs a LOT into a little, it helped inspire my sideblog with smaller fic recs, actually). Harry's the yearbook photographer who's been assigned to take pictures of Louis, the new captain of the football team. Harry's got a massive, obvious crush on Louis and somehow, Louis feels the same way.

Turning Page, by @daisyharry aka purpledaisy (pretty much every on-set picture I see of Harry these days just makes me tag it for this fic). “You wanna buy Harry a drink?” Louis lets his eyes drip back to Harry, to his wide eyes and the way his shoulders curve down. He really is pretty – Louis will be the first one to admit it and the last one to ever say it out loud. Louis almost smirks and his lips twitch as he tilts his head, “Not particularly, no.” An AU where Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been. Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other.

hush. by wankerville (this story is achingly evocative of just about every shitty small American town, but my god is it beautiful, the sweetness of how it ends). “I don't like you like that, Harry.” “See,” Harry starts, Louis can hear the smile in his voice, “that's where I think you're lying.” Or an AU where small towns suck, louis is losing it, and harry’s just too perfect.

Three French Hems, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (I wish I could pick just ONE of my top three from these two, but alas...do persimmons smell like come? discuss).  In which Louis is a designer at Burberry and Harry spends December wearing Lanvin… and Lanvin… and Lanvin.

Thought the Song Was Sung, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (see above, pretty much, and how happy I am that the tweets still show up! with Dame Julie Andrews even!!). Louis never auditioned for the X-Factor. Years later, Harry's just another gay ex-boybander who lives alone with his cat... until Niall decides to take matters into his own hands and set up a profile for Harry on a dating website.

Wild and Unruly, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (Iconic, even the abstract is iconic, everything still holds up. oh for cute, etc. etc.). Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

Are You Gonna Be My Girl? by loadedgunn (another one that inspired my sideblog dedicated to short fics! So much greatness packed in, Jesus, it’s in my top five for sure). Louis reenacts his first time, and Harry wants to be his good girl.

“burn this flame” by @rainbowninja aka rainbowninja167 (anytime I reread this, I smile...filed under hot and hilarious). When Harry gets invited to play in a celebrity charity match with Louis Tomlinson, Manchester United's star player, he's determined to impress him with brilliant football skills. The only flaw in Harry's otherwise foolproof plan? He has absolutely no football skills, brilliant or otherwise.

Challenging Nature: A Look into Male Lactation, by @jaerie (hands down, one of my fave kinks, handled fantastically well...and this isn’t the author’s only one!).  Even taking into account all the bizarre things Harry has subjected himself to in the past for the sake of an article, Harry has received his strangest assignment yet. It comes up as a random misunderstanding in a meeting and builds into a conversation — can men breastfeed? Internet searches reveal documented cases of male lactation popping up at different times throughout history, but are any of them true? Can a man will himself into lactating? Harry has two months to make it happen.

like how your hands feel me up and down, by ballsdeepinjesus (this author wrote a lot of my faves back in the day, I have so many ~thoughts about the amazing writers in this particular era). “It’s -- you’re tight,” Louis chokes. “It’s tight, I mean. It’s. Yes.” His hand is curved around his hip now, squeezing lightly. “Tight’s good, right?” Harry murmurs, batting his eyelashes. He almost can’t believe himself. “Very good,” Louis grunts. Or louis works in a halloween shop and harry needs a costume.

baby look what you've done to me, by ballsdeepinjesus (see above; even the username kills me). The next day kind of turns everything upside down, though. Louis gets another lingerie catalogue addressed to Harry. He’s about to toss it when he sees a personalized note stuck to the front; it thanks Harry for his previous purchases and offers him a complimentary six-month subscription to their magazine free of charge. Or louis moves into harry's old flat. harry gets a lot of mail.

Take Our Bodies Higher, by @littlelouishiccups (I’m something of a connoisseur of the phone sex trope, so the way this author flips it and makes *Harry* the operator plus what ensues? chef’s kiss!). Harry wasn’t often caught off guard at his job anymore. He called different men Sir, Master, or Daddy for work almost every week, but he’d never been told he was a good boy in a voice quite like that. In which Harry is a phone sex operator and Louis dials a wrong number.

Make a Dime Go One Hundred, by @screwstyles (I’d rec this for their jobs alone, but everything in it, just wow). “Do you think you could trust anyone enough to have full control over you?” he asks into the night, hoping his sentence won’t break their bubble. It doesn’t, if the way Harry’s eyes meet his is any indication.“What do you mean?” Harry’s voice is barely above a whisper, rough from the singing they had done earlier. Louis wants to keep this memory forever.“You know, if someone wanted to, uhm,” he coughs, “to tie you up, or blindfold you.” Or a friends to lovers AU where Harry volunteers to help Louis experiment with bondage. Things don’t go exactly to plan.

it ain't trickin' if ya got it, by sarcasticfluentry (needs ao3 account; I often stare at the wall and wonder what another installment in this universe would be, fuckkkkk, it’s so good, I only wish the social media was still in it). 28-year-old blockbuster actor Louis Tomlinson rushes home to give his 20-year-old model boyfriend Harry a good seeing-to after a particularly provocative Instagram post and, in his excitement, alerts the entire world. Featuring daddy kink, anal beads, and feelings.

If You Asked Me if I Love Him (I'd Lie), by allyasavedtheday (needs an ao3 account; it’s a sequel, but I reread it over and over vs. the first piece).  Or the one where Harry and Louis eloped but neglected to mention it to anyone. Meanwhile Lottie is getting married and the only way for them to not steal her thunder is by pretending they're just friends for the weekend. Featuring Harry and Louis as terrible liars who don't know the meaning of the word platonic and some Tomlinsons and Styleses who definitely don't believe them.

Damn, I could go on, but I’ll stop! My sideblog dedicated to short fics is @marathonficbreak, and it has some smaller ones, if this is too intimidating, lmao...hope some of them are new for you, enjoy!

#fic rec #long post #i do have deeper dives but this is a nice representation of my fave AUs #one direction

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Slovenia to Eurovision with a dreamy couple

Oh boi, now here comes another NF I wasn’t interested in. I don’t hate EMA as a thing, it’s just that it’s infamous for not listening to what people want most of the time, often axing their faves (BQL, Raiven, Nika Zorjan, even going as far back as Saša Lendero and Nina Pušlar...). This year it seemed like Raiven finally had what it takes with her post-dubstep-era dubstep tune, “Kaos”. BUT did she go? Oh nope

Instead we got possibly the best thing that ever happened to Slovenia. That thing is this one entry sung by a cute crossover of Lorde and that trombone fetus thing from Courage the Cowardly Dog (well, at least she looks better than him, hence why ‘cute’), Zala Kralj, and she has her 2-year-long partner Gašper Šantl by her side too, to make up the musical part for the couple’s Eurovision 2019 entry for Slovenia, “Sebi”.

Let’s start reviewing this by complimenting its atmosphere. It’s cosmic. It’s pure. It’s pleasant. I feel like I’m floating among the stars... in the same way as if someone is projecting a star backdrop on a wall and I’m just against the projection, dancing silly. I feel like I’m covered in stardust. This is achieved by the composition of the song, which is very melodic, although a bit background-music-like. It incorporates a lot of those softened hi-hats, soaring synth waves and harmonious additional backing vocals (I think I heard those? whatever that was that adds more depth and gorgeousness to the song...). The lyrics are also cute, the poetry here is pretty fascinating, and I love the hints of intimacy and nature. The chorus reminds me that you have to stay true to what you are and who you stand for, and you don’t need to apologize for being different. Something along the lines of this. And Zala sounds like a person that could do a vocal ASMR therapy - and I imagine that as something that gives tingles to my neck everytime I hear it. You just need to strip the melody away and let me listen to more of those silent, soft-spoken, eerie whispers, and usually I feel creeped out and want it to stop, but at the same time it’s seducing and oddly enough I want some more.

This song has its faults though - it’s supposedly the song being repetitive (look at that chorus’ lyrics, just repeating 3 lines during it doesn’t really suffice, especially with the song being composed like THAT), Zala’s vocals being so hauntingly chill they even sound too calming or too monotonous, and this song is a simple electronic track with it just flowing all so well? Like, it’s something you’d find more on an unknown project’s Bandcamp page and that project usually has 1500 views or so on their videos. It’s a soothing ocean, it’s a galaxy, but sometimes the silence overwhelms you too much you just want to fucking scream... or fall asleep and miss the beauty of it all.

So as a whole it’s a stellar ride through galaxies and supernovas: the song. Great production, slight lo-fi vibe (idk how to explain it but everything here feels so... hmm... soft tune and quiet vocals make it to be something of the more indie-er side of a lower-cost production I suppose?) and sparks of pure bliss raining down on me whenever I remember or hear it. Truly, truly some indie goodness.

The most interesting part? The guys seem too overwhelmed about their Eurovision experience! Sure, Eurovision doesn’t require a too-laidback approach from the participants, but there always are Eurovision non-enthusiasts (seriously, don’t yell at Eurovision participants on Youtube comments when they fail to recognize a language of a song’s from a previous year! Just because they didn’t hear it and/or forgot the language, doesn’t mean they need to be put at stake), or those who just didn’t expect to win their NFs and then are like “shit um now I need to do something about that Eurovision thing I guess”. Salvador never really watched it before, AWS didn’t really hope to participate in Eurovision at the early stages of their NF, now we don’t really hear much Eurovision news and shit from these two Slovenians... well except of them releasing a shortened version of their song so it could comply to Eurovision’s lenght rules (giving it an apt sub title - “Dare to Dream Version”), declaring that one line of the song’s will be sung in English so that everyone not speaking in Slovenian could understand it better (just like Lea sang the end of “Hvala, ne!” in Portuguese because... well we all understand either of them, do we? lol) and that their staging will be similar to the one they had in EMA, and that their stage clothes won’t be the same but of a similar light color. They do have Eurovision in mind, but not quite as much as some other participants, and that’s perfectly fine. As long as they do their job right, that matters.

Approval factor: I may let you in on a little secret here - this is, in fact, my absolute favourite Slovenian entry this decade, if not overall. I have a hard time approving Slovenian entries because they end up lacking something at the end. This one... kinda fits in well with me, so Zala and Gašper did enough of THAT to warrant a big fat thumbs up for me.

Follow-up factor: Wasn't a big fan of Lea's song, BUT I can confirm that she started something good for Slovenia in Eurovision, especially after qualifying. And the couple certainly continued it, so it moves on well! ^^

Qualification factor: Now that's an interesting question... I might be wrong but a part of me fears for them to become the fan favourite duo/couple with a really pretty song that doesn’t qualify, like it already happened to Norma John and ZiBBZ before. They even have been drawn to semifinal 1, ffs. But maybe there’s still a spark of hope somewhere for the two, and I’d be inclined to believe that there is. I don’t wanna see sLOVEnia flop on the year I like their song, ffs. So I’m seeing a borderline result for thee, you the nation of usually fairly-underrated songs. Maybe this cosmic sea beauty will be in them finals.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

So, EMA 2019, eh? I guess that was a thing that happened. I at least admire the fact that they used dancing robots for their “not-so-postcards-but-postcards” that played before each performance (I mean, you’d get camera shots of the stage being set up for the act to perform next with their info graphic in the NF’s LED background and next to it there was a re-creation of The Creation of Adam with the other hand being one of a robot’s <3, then cut to EMA’s visual design of the year and the dancing robot person, another shot to the performing act, and then lights out). They had a good time there. And there was a duet singing Salvador Sobral’s ESC winning song, one of them performed by a person who had to be Salvador for a TV show. Ah, fun. I wasn’t all in up for the she-bang (instead I watched A Dal Semi 2 and Supernoval final on that night), but I got some other goodies that I noticed that people noticed before me, for y’all to reminisce. Here are some moments and some songs that lost to this lovely pair:

• So what’s the deal with Raiven, anyway? She’s on the show for her third time, and has already firmly grasped onto the iconic NF partaker’s status, together with.. well... other NF 3-timers (that are mostly from Sweden). This time she went all her way out to prove y’all that “dubstep’s not dead in 2019!!!1″ with her song, “Cows” “Kaos”, and a rather interesting effect show taking place on her face. I don’t know why but Raiven’s and Aly Ryan’s from Germany stagings remind me of each other, maybe because of them being so interesting? Anyway, like as usually, this multicolored songstress failed to grasp the victory of her country’s national final, and honestly, good for that to happen because in my irrelevant opinion, the dubstep in “Kaos” is ridiculously unnecessary and it doesn’t make the song flow very well. Just rework the chorus to make it more suited to the song and maybe it could have worked, as the last 30 seconds and the verses actually rock! I love me some songs that make me feel like I’m listening to sunset transcribed to actual melodies and sounds.

• The 2015 entrant couple, Raay and Marjetka, are incredibly restless for some reason, and it’s that because they have co-written quite a few songs over the past few years even since their eventual victory as themselves in 2015. Maybe they’re the Slovenian Stig Rästa, probably as in “we loved the Eurovision green room experience so we always want some more!” kind of way. This year they did 2 songs: an electro-swing inspired number about Fridays and “spending some quality time with one’s girls” for the Slovene JESC debutee Ula Ložar and a radio-pop-esque track for a lady named Kim (not Verson). The one that I gravitated towards more will have its video down below and it is probably obvious a bit now. And if it was my will, I’d’ve replaced Raiven with the below lady in the superfinal because... frankly, yet again, I’ll restate that imo it wasn’t Raiven’s year even without the eventual winners having participated...

• For a country of whose NF’s I didn’t seem to care about, they indeed had quite a few nice numbers. I already shed my thoughts on 2 of them, now here’s another one. Somehow, most countries out there shied away from having rock songs (well except Hungary because I don’t really see any other NF with more than 3 of those clearly audible rock/metal tracks, maybe has to do with the fact they already sent one last year), and as a result, none of the actually submitted ones won because things didn’t really go well with even the slightest rock-sounding songs last year (except one of them almost got into top 10). So one of the rock gems we happened to lose came from Slovenia. INMATE brought the 00s American alt-rock sound that was popular with uncomfortable teens that acted outrageous with their song “Atma” (which somehow means “soul”??). And man they were banging.

• There’s not much I want to say about the rest of the NF’s gems that you missed. Well, there was one song about horses that is considerably well-received by the fandom, perhaps because of the slow and relaxing ballad sound that surrounds it (but they don’t know the lyrics enough to start hating it). And a song co-written by last year’s Svenskfloppen winner that, as he was destined to, flopped in Melodifestivalen as well. And a decent club track that was actually one of my other favourites, together with “Atma”. And some 00s teen sitcom theme song performed by a completely-careless-about-their-image-band (they call themselves Lumberjack but they dress nothing like ‘em, I assure you) with chill-surfer-attitude-bearing, long-haired lead singer. They brought in a nice vibe at least with their color-splashing LED images and slightly energetic performance. And like I said about how the lead singer looked... well just look at him and try to not see him as a troublemaker teen archetype from a high school rom com or at least irl that can’t score a date:

Damn, Manel Navarro really let himself go.

• Lea Sirk, besides performing the ESC winning song from two years ago in a duet with someone, and obviously re-appearing to be a honourable guest after having won EMA last year after like 4-5 tries, also served her part as a jury member. Y’know, one of those people that maybe visibly or not visibly tried to push Raiven to her eventual EMA win after her 3 tries so that she wouldn’t become an annoying NF hogger for years on end. Well that didn’t happen because the televoters went for the Zalšper couple! You gotta love it when the teleaudience picks that song for Eurovision that is performed by those that didn’t specifically submit it because they wanted Eurovision, right? Well apparently, Lea took the loss of Raiven as a small stab to her heart and was heard complaining about the unexpected outcome (simply not being able to believe Raiven lost), out loud, to the viewing audiences at home and in front of computer screens. Yep, THAT happened... And I couldn’t be bothered to find a clip of it anymore, so instead I’ll post some pictures of a visibly shook Lea with her new hairdye on fleek (I guess that was to reflect Raiven’s love for hair dye?):

noooo why do I have to give a trophy to those whom I did not support to win... well fine I will

With all that out of the way, I just really hope for this lovey-dovey duo all the best possible with having to carry the responsibility of representing a country in a very big European music competition on their shoulders. They aren’t seemingly stressed out themselves from the looks of it (if they were in a Brantsteele’s Hunger Games simulation, they’d be those people who’d pick flowers all the time), but you know what happens when you’re given such a big honour but you let what the honour stands for down, upsetting the others who look up to the honour somehow. Terrible, terrible things. Hope the haters don’t grind these two down if anything happens. Srečno!

#eurovision 2019 #tel aviv 2019 reviews #slovenia 2019 #zala kralj & gašper šantl #sebi #slovenia

[emkayoh]

Spider-Man: Homecoming Fic Recs

Alright, I snapped y’all. I’m blown away by the quality of writing in this fandom and I want to share some of my absolute faves that I’ve found. Especially since I haven’t really seen any fic recs and these fics deserve to be spread like wildfire. So here are my top favorite reads, mostly Tony and Peter centered because of course. 

(Under the cut because this is looooooong):

How to Repair a Broken Heart by InfluentialPineapple (WIP)

Summary: The Mechanic has a lot on his plate; Thanos is coming, the Guardians of the Galaxy are marooned, Thaddeus Ross is reaching right down his throat, and a budding super hero deserves his full attention. He's also dying. No big deal. He can fix it. He can fix anything.

And he can do it all without even opening that stupid phone.

Now, where did those notes on Extremis go...?

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: Mature

Notes: Holy shit, y’all. This is definitely my favorite fanfiction... ever. Out of everything I’ve ever read. It’s still a WIP so beware of that, but I am extremely confident in the author’s ability to finish it. And honestly, it’s well worth reading even if it isn’t finished. It has some of the most spot-on characterization, an amazing plot that rivals whatever Marvel cooks up for Infinity War, and glorious writing. 10/10 I am in the fandom for this fic specifically. (Warning: Violence, torture, lots of death.)

The Long Way Round by undeerqueen

Summary: Tony wants him to hold on. Peter just wants to go home.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: Okay, warning... this is a death fic. But it’s my favorite death fic ever written. It’s so beautifully written in a way that keeps you hanging on until the very end and leaves a hole in your heart that never goes away. If you’re like me and enjoy that kind of stuff, please, please, please for the love of god, read this fic. (Edit: This is a whole series now!!! Even more pain abounds.)

three words that became hard to say (i and love and you) by madasthesea

Summary: Tony likes giving gifts to prove his love, but they don't usually have four paws and a tail.

AKA: Tony, Peter, and a dog named Maggie learn how to be a family.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: I’m crying???? I’m usually not a fan of fics that kill off May so that Peter and Tony can be a family because she deserves better than that, but this fic is the ONLY exception. May isn’t cast aside as unimportant, Tony struggles to make Peter accept him as his new guardian, and there’s a dog! What could be better than that? (Edit: It’s a whole series now!! Tears from beginning to end.)

Everyone You’ve Ever Loved by JBS_Forever

Summary: “You will lose, Tony Stark,” the man says. “You have taken everything from me. Now I'm going to take everything from you.”

(Or: A masked-man threatens to destroy everyone Tony Stark has ever cared about. He starts by taking Peter.)

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: I honestly had a hard time picking out a JBS_Forever fic to include in this rec list, because everything they write is amazing and I recommend all of it, but this fic stands out. It’s a classic “Peter gets kidnapped and Tony has to save him” fic, which is a favorite trope of mine lol (are you noticing a pattern with the fics I tend to like?) It’s a oneshot but it’s MASSIVE and really realistically portrayed. I love how she writes Tony and Peter and I was holding my breath the whole time. 

Astronomy In Reverse by pansley (WIP)

Summary: A year after the Winter Soldier failed his mission in DC, Bucky Barnes is doing his best to stay under the radar from both Hydra and Steve Rogers. His hope for a peaceful day-to-day life in limbo goes awry, however, when he meets Queens’ newest hero; a pure-hearted kid with a death wish and a ridiculous pair of red and blue pajamas.

The last thing Steve expects when he finally tracks Bucky down is that, not only has the man been living in Queens all this time, right under his nose, but also that, in the two years since they last saw each other, Bucky somehow acquired a kid.

Alternatively: How Peter Parker effectively fucks over Bucky Barnes, and also totally saves him.

Relationship: Bucky and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: I guess I should mix things up a bit and rec one that isn’t a Tony and Peter fic! This one took me by surprise. I read it because I was intrigued by the relationship tag between Bucky and Peter and didn’t know how it would work. Spoiler: It works very well. It’s so different from a Tony fic but it’s so precious. Featuring foster kid/homeless Peter Parker. Also a WIP and only in the beginning stages but I sense a really interesting plot. (Warning for attempted sexual assault in one of the chapters! But it’s very, very brief. )

Weak Spot by grilledcheesing

Summary: Peter Parker has been sent back in time hundreds of times after their last face off with Thanos to do the one thing nobody else can: save Tony Stark.

Unfortunately, he has to find a way to kill his past self to do it.

And the last thing Tony is going to do is let him.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: Back on my Tony and Peter bullshit. This author is a very prominent author in the fandom so I’m sure you’ve read at least one of their fics if you’ve read a lot of Homecoming fics, but this is my absolute favorite of theirs. It’s such an interesting (and heartbreaking) concept and it’s another one of those stories that leaves you feeling empty inside. Warning for more character death.

pretending by ace8013

Summary: Natasha reflects on what she noticed.

Relationship: All of the Avengers really, but come on I read it for the Tony and Peter

Rating: Not Rated

Notes: I’m honestly... flabbergasted that this fic has so few kudos. Pls go read it and give it more. It’s really short but so poignant and says so much with so little. I honestly love it so much. It’s in Natasha’s POV which is really interesting and the author really nails her personality. It’s absolutely soul-crushing and it will only take you like 2 minutes to read please just do it. (Warning for so much character death...)

Tony Built a Son by Footloose_Poets

Summary: Peter navigates learning to be human. Tony navigates fathering an android.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences/Teen

Notes: Ohmygosh... this one probably isn’t surprising considering the massive amounts of fanart I’ve drawn for it. The idea is so obvious yet so unique and satisfying to read. The author does an AMAZING job creating a realistic world where Tony builds an android son to keep his loneliness at bay and keeps both Tony and Peter so in character despite the vastly different circumstances from their movie counterparts. And it’s a whole series! Every new installment is a beautiful read, and the author even created a tumblr: @friendly-neighborhood-android to post mini ficlets, art, and factoids in the interim. 

5 Times Peter Thought Tony Was Mad by caraminha

Summary: ... and one time he actually was.

Set a few months after Aunt May's death where Tony is Peter's legal guardian. Navigating a new life together and settling into being father and son is a rollercoaster - falling in love with the kid? Easy. Dealing with a grieving teenager, and trying to figure out how to do this whole parent thing? Uh... not so easy.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: Oh no more dead May. But I promise I only recommend these fics when they’re really well-written! And this is a REALLY good fic. I got so many feels reading this and domestic Tony and Peter really gives me life. Tony messes up a little but more than makes up for it, and then Peter messes up a lot but it’s okay because Tony loves him. It’s so adorable and heartwarming and I had the warm fuzzies the whole time.

Only Human by tonysta_k

Summary: When Flash takes things too far - pushes Peter too far by mentioning his fathers and what happened, Peter can't take it anymore.

Or, an au where after civil war, Steve was put in prison, Tony has a hard time facing his feelings, and Peter just wants to see his pops.

Relationship: Steve/Tony (Past), Tony and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: Damn. I don’t even ship Stony. I don’t like it, Steve has hurt Tony too much for me to ever see them as romantically involved, but if Stony just so happens to be in an intriguing Tony and Peter fic... fine, I’ll read it, so sue me. But wowowow did this fic hit me where it really hurts. It’s good because it acknowledges Steve and Tony’s failed relationship and puts Peter right in the middle of a REALLY nasty divorce. It’s really heart-breaking and realistic and claws at your emotions. 10/10 had to hug my parents right after reading. 

for good by Madelinedear

Summary: "Sorry, May, we can't all be best friends with a celebrity.”

May opens her mouth to retort reflexively, the words 'we aren’t even friends' on the tip of her tongue before she closes her mouth. Because they are friends, now. They’re way past that point.

Oh my god, she thinks somewhat hysterically. Tony Stark is my best friend.

(or; Tony Stark, May Parker, and the road to something like friendship)

Relationship: Tony and May

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: YES!!! YES!!! YEEESSSSS!!! Finally, the Tony and May fic I’ve been waiting for!!! To end this rec list on a fluffier note (because boy do I love angst, huh?) this fic is hilarious, heartwarming, and so in-character. It’s a really good study of how May and Tony’s relationship might evolve over time due to their mutual bonding over fiercely loving Peter. It’s everything I ever wanted in a May and Tony friendship fic and more. 

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And these two are not necessarily Homecoming fics but I have to include them because they are on the list of my all time favorite Spider-Man fics: 

Weaver of Silk and Dreams by a_stands_for

Summary: Ben Parker sighed as he looked up into The Thing's eyes, so expressively human in spite of the rest of his rocky appearance.

“My fifteen-year-old nephew--who's practically my own little boy!--” he choked out with a tight voice, “h-he can't pass for human anymore. He's scared, and he's isolated, and he just needs someone else to talk to! Someone who can understand. Please."

_____

Some alternate realities are unrecognizable, and some are indistinguishable. This one lies somewhere in between.

Peter Parker's life was derailed when he mutated into a strange human/spider hybrid, and he knows that's not the way things went down for him in other realities. Still, he's determined to forge a new path and make the best of it. Sometimes "the friends we made along the way" really is the greatest treasure anyone could ask for.

Relationship: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson (Peter Parker/Johnny Storm)

Rating: Mature

Notes: Okay so this is more based in the comic-verse, but I pictured Tom Holland Spidey while reading it anyways. I don’t even ship Spideypool tbh but I got curious. I didn’t even watch the Deadpool movie or know anything about Deadpool (or the Fantastic Four, who feature prominently in this) but still... it’s SO. GOOD. More spidery Spider-Man isn’t a thing I knew I needed until this fic, and it honestly reads almost like a fantasy. The world-building is incredible and the fic also comes with great drawings to help you visualize this strange new Peter. (Warning though: There are sex scenes. I was kinda hesitant about whether or not I should rec this because of that, but honestly the fic is worth it. I don’t usually like to read fics with sex scenes, but the plot more than makes up for it.)

I Like Birds by chinashopbull (WIP... possibly abandoned?)

Summary: Peter has Asperger’s/ASD. Yes, of course he’s still Spider-Man. Deadpool tries to accommodate, with mixed results.

Some feeble plot happens eventually, blood gets on the walls, etc. I play fast and loose with canon but try to stay true to (what I perceive to be) the spirit of the characters. 

Relationship: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson

Rating: Mature

Notes: Okay, so this fic predates Homecoming so it’s definitely not about that Spidey (even though I picture Tom Holland anyways), the summary doesn’t do it justice, the way the fic portrays Tony Stark makes me sad, and it’s most likely abandoned because it hasn’t been updated since May 2017 (Edit: This totally updated after a whole year. It’s still going!!!)... but hear me out. This fic is worth the heartbreak of reading an abandoned fic. First of all: Autistic Peter!!!!! Written by someone who is autistic themselves so it’s very accurate!!!! I know I say this a lot but the plot is AMAZING. There’s an amazing side story about suicide bombers that’s really intriguing. I love the mystery element of this story so much, it reads as it’s own standalone work of fiction. Also, the slow burn is so slow that the Spideypool never happens, so if that’s not your thing, don’t let that stop you from reading this truly incredible fic. (Warning: A really, really graphic eye injury in one of the earlier chapters that’s pretty gruesome. )

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IS THIS LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU?? If you read any of these fics KUDOS AND COMMENT because the authors deserve your love! Feel free to send me any recs too! You know what I like. ;) 

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[widgenstain]

i hope this doesnt sound creepy but what were your thoughts on submergence? I love reading movie reviews/rants about my faves (jamesy)

Lol, no,not creepy at all, I wanted write a few words after I saw it two weeks (?) agoanyway, but got distracted. I hope this doesn’t disappoint you though! Not so many positive opinions here!

(light spoilers under the cut)

The best word to sum up my feelings about this is“meh”. I expected the worst after reading some reviews but it wasn’tTHAT bad. It wasn’t good either though. I felt pretty vindicated in myassessment from January 2016 ; Submergence isn’t abook that translates well on screen. And they didn’t even try very hard. Boy, thatscript is bad…

Sceneslifted directly from the book that anyone with even the tiniest understandingof how good narratives work would have changed, or at least tried to make morefilmable. Instead we got this mess; long, clunky, scientific dialogue thatworks as a build-up in the book but needed to be cut short in the movie andmore importantly: focussed on the message and motives behind it! What does it mean to behuman, to live in certain social structures and how insignificant are we andthose social structures really in the big picture? You don’t have to explain the layers of the Ocean if you can’t get across how vast they really are and what that vastness is meant to symbolise! 

Thedirection doesn’t clear anything up either. It’s so inconsistent in its levelsof subtlety. Especially in the parts that take place in France it needed to be waymore obvious; what attracts these two people to each other? THE importantquestion in a romance!

In the bookit’s intellectual understanding and fascination with the other person’sapproach to topics like love, death, religion etc.. I wasn’t kidding in my earlierpost when I said that in the book they aren’t really characters, but voices for differentworld views that somehow still see their similarities and learn from eachother. The whole thing is supported by their weirdly intertwining heritage andlife story; she’s a biracial cosmopolitan who explores the seas his ancestors sailed,before he became a spy in Africa, who’s deeply involved with Eastern Africanconflicts.

In the movie?Yeah, that first part doesn’t come across whatsoever. They try, but it’s fartoo subtle and the script doesn’t capture the differences/similarities at all. Theyprobably realised that, so they added a lot of sex scenes instead. I was veryworried for them but they’re actually fine.They’re notreally well-matched physically, James looks way older than Alicia (well, he is,widge) but they do have chemistry. Is it the chemistry the movie needs though? No,it’s not.

I totallycan see them as two people who met at a nice hotel on the Atlantic coast and thought“hey u cute!” “hey, u cute too, let’s have some really good sex since we’reboth people who are so good at sex.” And after the three days, they went their ways andmaybe thought of each other during a wank session or two.

It’s notthe chemistry of a couple where he thinks of her in the worst moments of his lifeand she in the most triumphant yet terrifying ones. 

As for the intertwiningheritages? They actually wrote, shot, edited and left in a scene in which hetalks about her being such a “mongrel” of Swedish and Australian heritage. Noone in that whole process noticed the disconnect or the freaking white-washing!Wim Wenders deserves a few punches in the nuts for that.

As for theacting, yeah… I’m not a fan of Alicia, there I said it. I don’t subscribe tothe hate the Fassbender fans/haters/toxically obsessed creeps (who keeps upwith this these days?) throw at her but I sincerely do. not. understand. how shemade it as far as an actress as she has. 

Still, she is ok in this, she showsmore than her usual three expressions and some actual emotions. That doesn’ttake away from the fact that she acts in scenes, not in movies. She’s onecharacter in one scene, another in the next. It - weirdly enough - works bestin the sex scenes where they allowed her to be an unusually tomboyish character,not the ultra-feminine seductress you’d expect in such context. She feels more or less natural and ok in them.

She’s farless believable as the career-driven and respected-by-her-peers scientist andit’s the absolute worst in the “phone” scenes. To be fair the script fucks herover in these as well, turning Danny, a stoic woman of science about to go onthe biggest adventure of her career, into a bawling teenage girl, who’s upsetthat the guy she had really good sex with doesn’t reply to her calls. 

A betteractress than her would have struggled with that garbage too, but with her scene-actingit really feels like you’re watching someone completely different each time. Addthe gloomy goth girl rambling about suffocating in really inappropriate momentsand you’ve got your stitched together Frankenstein character.

James of course knows how to portray a coherent character, but he isn’tat the height of his game either in the beginning. He’s a bit stiff, the whole spy stuff is thankfully short because it feels like an artsy-fartsydirector trying and failing to do James Bond, and the scenes in captivity would have hit much harder if you’d gotten WHY he adores her so and whispers “OH DANNY” all so dramatically.

I mean, I get thatmovie!James is trying to hang on to his sanity as best as he can, but why think of that random girlhe had really good sex with in France? Why not his mother, his best friend or, ffs, his housekeeper in Nairobi he’s known for more than 3 days?! The film doesn’tget this across and it’s sad (I’m also convinced the editor hated them. Herflashbacks show him squinting unattractively and his flashbacks show her from areally unfortunate angle.)

However, hisacting is top notch in the pivotal scene when movie!James’ captors send him into thewater to shoot him. It starts out all dramatic but then he takes it and turnsit into this absolutely painful, human moment where he yanks the audience’sheart out and crushes it like he’s wont to do. Man is he good. From that on Ilike the movie. 

The interactions with the doctor (helloooo Julian Bashir, didn’tknow you were in this!) are the best scenes in the book as well and they’reexcellent. Nothing is black and white, how different can the lessons differentpeople take from the same situations be, etc.? It’s great.

Except whenthe movie suddenly throws all subtlety overboard. There’s a scene where a womangets stoned and instead of focusing on the fucking amazing acting that goes on onJames’ and Alexander Siddig’s faces it has to ram the pointhome with the silliest effects. It’s such a waste of two excellent actors with an amazingly uncomfortable chemistry. 

Still, the scenes with the extremists are awesome. Too short and I don’t think the movie audience really gets how intriguingReda Kateb’s character really is, but they’re part of a movie that could havebeen great. Pity that wasn’t the whole movie.

I was a bitconfused after Tiff last year where Wenders said that he changed the ending butI don’t think he really has? Both are open in ways, but not really. I liked theending in the book and I liked it in the movie, super kitschy lifetime movieshots of Danny aside.

Anotherpositive thing I noticed was the light. Whoever did that really understood whatto do with the beautiful people in front of the camera and how to tell thefreaking story. I swear, the light on her face as he leaves the hotel, in hisprison and in her sub does a far better job at connecting them and explainingthe motives than script and direction together! I hope that light person got paid a ridiculously high amount of money and gets to do more movies.The script person should find another day job though and Wenders should stick todocumentaries from now on.

In short:Meh. Not gonna buy the DVD but maybe will check it out another time when/if itcomes along on Netflix and see if my opinion changes.

#submergence #james mcavoy #reviews #more like rambling words #teehee #intowhiteness #we talked about this #rant rant rant #whitewashing