#someone give clifford a vacation

[mercurygray]

soft for marj + lip !!

There was always something peaceful about the Liptons' house.

It never seemed to matter that there were four children under seven underfoot, and that they were prone to accidents and scrapes and messes the way all children are. Quiet, was, after all, a relative term - but so was peaceful. And the primary difference, Joan thought, sitting on the back porch swing nursing her iced tea and swishing the lemon wedge once more around her glass, was that neither Marj nor Carwood allowed their thousand small disasters to bother them.

Today it was a skinned knee and the screaming three year old attached to it, wailing at such volume the neighbors were sure to hear.

"Now there, we'll get some ice and some mercurochrome and clean that straight up," Marj said, scooping her youngest off the ground to cradle her in her arms while she walked calmly inside, the other two boys following behind like guilty puppies, anxious to see that Mom would, indeed, make it better.

Joan stared for a little while at the door, and then returned her gaze to the backyard - the abandoned push bike and the dolls on the grass, and the little climbing structure that looked like a castle that Carwood had already built for the children. The afternoon light was hitting the grass just right to illuminate the dandelion heads and give them a golden glow. A far cry from Dupont Circle, for certain - and yet still peaceful, somehow.

The swing moved a little, and Joan looked over to see Marj's oldest daughter, Sarah, climbing up to help herself to her mother's vacated seat and push some of her hair out of her eyes.

"Did you see what happened?" Joan asked mildly, wondering if she'd need to be the neutral party taking down witness statements soon.

Sarah did not look disturbed. "Sam and Cliff were going too fast and Lessie couldn't keep up and she fell."

That sounded plausible enough - Sam was Sarah's twin, at seven, and Clifford five, and Leslie, or Lessie, was three, not quite good enough on her feet to keep up with the older ones. "Mommy will make it better," Sarah assured her. "Lessie's just being scared." She looked expectantly at the side table and the plate there, swinging her legs a little. "Are there more crackers?"

Joan shook her head, the half-finished glass of tea cold and slippery in her hands. "I'm afraid I ate them all. I'm not as good at sharing as your mom. And besides," she added, seeing the look of disappointment on Sarah's face, "it'll be time for dinner soon, once your mom cleans up Lessie's knee."

Sarah looked resigned to this answer, and allowed herself a little pout for a moment. Her mother's child, through and through - don't complain until you know someone will listen. "Aunt Joanie, why don't you have any kids?"

Joan sighed and looked at Sarah, considering the little body next to her that was somehow too warm and too sticky and perhaps a little too comfortable climbing straight into laps. Between Marj's kids and Harry's, she was still getting used to the non-sequiturs of the under ten set. (As was only befitting Harry's child, Danny Welsh would ask the darndest questions sometimes.) "That's a good question, Sarah. I'm not sure. Sometimes I look at what a good job your mom does and I don't think I could be as good as her."

"I think you're wrong," Sarah declared. "Moms have to be smart and kind and pretty and caring and tall and you're all those things."

Joan felt her heart flutter a little. Too many people had said the same, but it sounded different coming from a child - well intentioned, even. And there was something else in it, too, something she wasn't sure of and didn't want to put too much promise in just yet. "Well, thank you, Sarah. That's very kind of you."

"You're welcome," Sarah announced, sitting back in her chair with a bit of pride. For a moment it was just the two of them, and Sarah gave a big and theatrical sigh of contentment, crossing her legs and putting her arms behind her head - a movement Joan could say she'd seen Carwood do more than once. "Isn't this lovely?"

It was a funny word for a seven year old, lovely, but it was as good a word as any, and Joan made an affirmative noise, watching the grass and the dandelions and the afternoon light. It was indeed lovely, in its own way, lovely and soft, and it made Joan think of Pennsylvania, and the farmhouse Dick was thinking of buying when he got home from his Reserve duties. The rest of the world, and Korea, seemed impossibly far away here.

"Sarah Joan, did you take my seat?" Marj had returned, Lessie still in her arms and the boys nowhere to be found.

"I was just keeping it warm for you," the accused said defensively, crawling off the seat so her mother could sit down again, the baby resting her head on her shoulder and sucking her thumb.

"The mercury's near 80, I'm not sure you needed to," Marj said quietly, looking at Joan with a sarcastic raised brow that Joan tried hard not to smile at. "Lessie's going to sit with us for a little while, just us girls. Now, what were you all talking about?"

"Sarah thinks I'll make a good mom," Joan reported with a raised eyebrow of her own.

"Sarah's unusually wise for seven," Marj said with a smile for her firstborn that made the girl beam with pride, shifting Lessie on her lap a little. "And I think she's right, too. You made awful short work on those crackers, for starters." She fixed her friend with one of her signature patient stares. "Something you want to share with the class, Joanie?"

"Not - not yet, Marj." Joan lowered her voice, feeling soft and vulnerable in a way she had not felt in a while. Korea was far away and so was Dick, and this was a thing that she could not out-practice or out-maneuver or out-run. "But I have an appointment next week."

Marj nodded, leaning back in the swing and giving it a small push so it could start moving again. "Let me know when you do." She let out a sigh. "Five more minutes, and then we'll go in for dinner," she decided, still petting Lessie's back so she might fall asleep. Joan studied the sleepy face on Marj's shoulder, the blonde curls and rosy cheeks and round lips, finally content. Peaceful, said one voice. Lovely, said another.

#i have written a thing #mercurygraypresents #joan warren #marjorie gordon #a belated mother's day gift #1940s girl gang #postwar

[simpleserendipity]

Pool Party | Calum Hood | Mature

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader (best friends with benefits)

Warning: smut, talk about sex, public sex, cock warming

Word count: 1,990 words

You insisted on doing nothing for your birthday but Calum refused to let you go without some celebration, so after a bit of arguing you agreed to get together, your best friend, Jordan, and the band at his house. You weren’t exactly sure why Calum cared so much about having a party, you were nothing more than friends who occasionally hooked up when you were feeling lonely. Both of you were okay with that, it’s just how it is. But you let him have his way and throw a pool party for your birthday anyway. You’re snapped out of your thoughts as the uber had finally pulled up to a stop outside Calum's house. You started to talk to the door but your best friend stopped you. "Cal said to just go through the back gate." She said as she guided you to the gate. You both took a few steps into the yard, hearing the guys talking. "Hi!" You both called out, walking through the yard. Luke was sitting on a floatie in the pool with a beer in his hand, Ashton was laying in the sun next to Michael who was covered by an umbrella and Calum was nowhere to be seen. "Happy birthday!" Michael, Ashton, and Luke all shouted at the same time. "Thank you!" You smiled, setting your stuff on a table out there. "You're old now!" Michael shouts. "That sure is how aging works Clifford." You laughed. "You're growing up too fast!" Ashton wipes a fake tear from under his eye. "Oh shut up." You rolled your eyes. Your best friend had started to pull off her clothes to get into the pool and you copied her actions. Just as you finished pulling your shirt off, the door to the house opened up. "Jordan, _____, you made it!" Calum comes out of the house. Jordan waves before flopping on a floatie next to Luke and begging Mikey to join her, which he eventually does. "Of course we did Cal," You laughed, "What else would we be doing?" "Happy birthday _____!" Calum chuckles. "Thank you." You smiled at him as he stopped in front of you. "Come here," Calum opens his arms, pulling you, "You look so cute." You wrapped your arms around him, "Thank you." You smiled as he hugged you. "Especially when you're wearing my bucket hat." He reaches up and plays with the brim of the hat that you forgot you had stolen from him once. Something brushes against your leg and Cal leans down, scooping up whatever touched your legs. You looked down at his arms, "Duke" You gushed over the dog, that you have begun to think of as your own, buying Duke treats and toys often. "Hand him over!" You held your hands out. Calum put Duke into your arms and the dog nuzzled into your chest, his fur was incredibly soft against your skin, "Look at you guys. So cute." Calum chuckled. You rocked Duke like a baby, "He's so cute and I love him so much." You cooed at the dog. You finally let the dog down and he wanders over to a chair, laying under it. Calum laughs at you, "You talk to Duke like he's a baby."

"He is a baby," You purse your lips together, "He's so cute." We were interrupted by Ashton yelling from where he sat at the edge of the pool, "Are you guys just going to stand over there and talk or come hang out with the rest of us?" “Or are you going into the house to go at it?” Michael jokes it was no secret that you and Calum have been hooking up since the incident where Luke caught you two in the backseat of Calum’s car outside the studio one day. So by now, you were both used to the ridiculous taunts from all of them. "We're coming," Calum answers, shaking his head with a laugh. "You just wanna lay in the sun." You stretched a bit before walking over to a chair beside the pool and sitting on the edge. "Come in the pool with us." Luke whined, "Or get me another beer." "Dude it's her birthday," Michael splashed him, "Let her do what she wants." "But it's not fun if you aren't in the pool with us." Ashton agreed with Luke. "_____ you're being so boring," Jordan whined as You laid on your stomach on the pool chair "Let me relax." You whined and squeezed your eyes shut. They all went silent and you laid there nervously for a moment before they resumed their conversations. You relaxed further into the chair before You felt hands on you. My eyes flashed open, just in time to see Calum grab your arms and Ashton grab your legs. "Do not throw-" You were cut off by them doing exactly what you were going to ask them to not do. They threw you in the pool. You resurfaced and pushed your hair out of your face slowly. I looked around seeing everyone had vacated the pool in favor of the hot tub. “Alright, I’m sorry _____,” Calum says between laughter, “Come here and let me make it up to you.” “No fuck off.” You climbed out of the pool. “Come here,” His voice was demanding enough that you knew you had to go, “_____.” “There isn’t enough room for everyone in the hot tub.” You roll your eyes, walking over to the edge of the hot tub anyway. You stood there having a staring contest with Calum before Luke interrupted. “Just sit on his lap,” Luke rolled his eyes, “It’s not like that isn’t something you’ve done before.” Amongst everyone’s laughter, you climb in seating yourself with your back against Calum’s chest, “Fine.” The idea of the perfect way to get back at Calum for throwing you in the pool strikes you. You had to make sure he’s completely engrossed in the conversation. The guys began talking about some interviewer and Jordan was caught up in the conversation too. This was your window of opportunity, you slowly reach your hand behind you like you’re going to scratch your back. Instead, your hand finds its way to the waistband of Calum’s swimsuit. You feel Calum’s breath hitch against your neck, “What do you think you’re doing?” Instead of answering you continued to pull the shorts down a little, knowing that the bubbles of the hot tub would hide exactly what you’re up to. “What do you think Cal?” Ashton asks Calum a question. “Sorry what?” Calum shakes his head, trying to tune back into the conversation. “We’re asking about when you think you’re gonna go home next...” Ashton gives Calum a weird look. “Oh uh...” Calum paused as your hand enveloped his dick, tugging lightly as you pull it out from his swim trunks, “Probably next month.” They all nod and return to their conversation. Calum leaves one arm around the edge of the hot tub as the other comes down to your hip, “What the hell are you doing?” “Nothing.” You bat your eyelashes and continue to stroke him. Calum is doing well to conceal his moans as his fingertips dig into your hip. “If you wanted to mess around we could have gone inside.” He whispers in your ear again, lips grazing it. “Now why would we do that?” You whispered back in a cocky tone. You stroked up and down a few more times, running your thumb through the slit, earning a hiss in your ear from him. You had finally grown tired of your teasing, so you stood slightly, looking as if you had to adjust where you sat. You carefully sat down again, this time sliding your swimsuit bottoms to the side and sinking onto him. You bit the inside of your cheek to hold back any sounds from the feeling of the intrusion. “What do you think you’re doing right now?” He hissed as you circled your hips slowly. “Hmmm…” You hummed, ignoring the questions and clenched around him. “In front of all our friends?” Calum whispers in your ear as you circled your hips slowly, holding back a groan. Calum’s breath was hot against your neck and it made you shiver with excitement, knowing where this would lead. “Mhm…” You hummed and pressed your back into his chest, relaxing while feeling his chest rising and falling rapidly. You lifted your hips before sliding down again. That was the final action that solidified your fate, Calum was going to be frustrated with you exactly as you wanted. Under the bubbles of the water, Calum’s fingers of one hand dug into your hips, “You’re gonna be in so much trouble later when I get you alone,” His breathing was shaky, “You’re gonna get it.” He murmurs into your ear, lips grazing the back of your head while everyone else too caught up in conversation to notice you two. His words sent a shiver down your spine, “Payback for throwing me in the pool.” You whispered, shakily as you can’t keep focused on your breathing even as you looked between your friends. You sat quietly observing as Jordan argued with Michael about what video game is better and the others are discussing random music and movies. You’re so caught up on the feeling of being full, his threats and fingers digging into your hip are slowly becoming too much. Your dominance is fading. “What are you doing tonight for your birthday, _____?” Luke asks, sipping his beer. Your eyes snap up in Luke’s direction, “I’m not sure.” You shrugged, trying not to move too much, knowing how hard this already was for Calum and that you would get in so much trouble with him later. “I can think of something she’s gonna do,” Ashton jokes, “But I don’t know if it’s more of a treat for her or Cal…” Ashton jokes as he makes a gesture as if he was sucking someone off. “I shouldn’t have asked,” Luke rolled his eyes, “I should have known you two were going to get at it tonight.” “I’m so glad we don’t have to live together anymore,” Michael added in, “I remember the first time you guys started hooking up.” “Oh god…” Ashton laughed, “‘Calum, please! Oh god Calum!’” Ashton used a high-pitched voice to mock you. “Oh shut up.” You roll your eyes and sink further back into Calum’s chest. “Okay, I think it’s time for us to go.” Calum’s arm from around the hot tub reaches down. Both his hands find your hips lifting you off of him, “Get up and go inside, upstairs.” He pulls you up. His demanding tone made you weak in the knees and the feeling of him slipping out made you want more. You were quick to hop out of the hot tub, following his commands. You walked towards the house, hearing all the laughter and comments from your friends. You stopped right outside the door. “Oh god,” Michael groaned, “Seriously Cal? _____?” Michael looks between us. “Really?” Luke laughs out loud at us as Calum hops out of the hot tub, heading towards the house. “We’re still here?” Michael laughed. “Jesus Cal we’re still here…” Ashton laughs. “Don’t care,” Calum flipped them off as he walked towards you, “Stay outside or leave, whatever you want.” Calum shrugged. “Dude seriously?” Jordan laughed, “You’re gonna go hook up and abandon us all out here? I mean it’s getting dark.” “You’ll be fine,” Calum chuckled and stopped right behind you, leaning into your ear, “And why aren’t you inside and upstairs like I asked?” His hands pushed his hips against yours. “Sorry…” You bit your lips and pushed the back door open. “You better be…” Calum groaned, pushing you forward into the house by your hips. It may be your birthday but Calum was sure about to get a treat, using you however he pleases.

#calum #calum hood #calum 5sos #calum hood imagine #calum hood fic #calum hood blurb #calum 5 seconds of summer #calum imagine #5sos imagine #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos fic #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #michael clifford #calum smut #calum hood smut #calum x reader

[sierradeaton]

good in goodbye

i would take a bullet for you just to prove my love only to find out you are the one holding the gun

summary: maddox turns to hunter for comfort when he realizes josh will never love him back in the same way. characters: maddox fray (ashton irwin), hunter bane (michael clifford), josh wayland (luke hemmings), heather lightwood (sarah jeffery), carter penhallow (nick hargrove) ships: maddox/hunter. mentions of josh/maddox, josh/heather, heather/carter content:  angst, smut, hurt/comfort (warnings: blood play, choking, unprotected sex) playlist: motion - luke word count: 5k notes: this fic/universe is based on the mortal instruments/shadowhunters tv show. maddox and josh are both shadowhunters. hunter is a vampire. parabatai is means "a pair of nephilim warriors who fight together as lifelong partners, their souls bound together by oath and their angelic bond." josh and maddox are parabatai. they are also forbidden to fall in love with each other.

Once again, he was greeted by the comforting presence of Hunter's body behind him. He started to stretch out his very sore limbs and rolled over onto his back, opening his eyes. Maddox found Hunter looking back down at him softly. He'd kind of broken down hard... and he might've been shy or nervous about that fact if he hadn't seen such kindness in Hunter's eyes just then. Maddox teared up again, which angered him briefly, but he smiled. Hunter reached up to cup his face, brushing a few stray auburn curls back and stroking Maddox's cheek. 

They lingered there in content silence for a long moment, simply looking at one another, before Maddox reached up to pull Hunter down for a kiss. His eyes fluttered closed and he kissed the vampire softly and slowly, with none of the urgency from the night before. It was romantic and gentle and Maddox honestly lost track of how long it lasted. He laid there on his back kissing Hunter and losing himself in the warmth of being wanted by someone completely. 

Hunter was the one to break the kiss but only so he could kiss down Maddox's jaw to his neck. He kissed him along his neck before sucking softly and nipping at his skin. Maddox whimpered. "Please."

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It happened shortly after Heather's ex, Carter, left. Maybe they hadn't even waited until then... Maddox suspected that Josh had been sleeping with Heather while they were still hooking up. He didn't really care, because he'd ultimately gotten what he wanted and needed. He saw them together again today after Carter's departure and he knew that he wouldn't be with Josh again. He wondered if he'd even realized it was the last time while it was happening. Maybe he could talk Josh into one more time, but Maddox's heart wasn't in it once he knew that Josh had Heather available to him again. He cared about her. He was falling in love with her, and Maddox would know it the entire time they were together. No. He couldn't be with Josh again.

 Although Josh pleaded with him not to push him away, he was going to have to for at least a little while. He wasn't setting foot in the Institute unless it was to report for a mission. Fuck, he deserved vacation. When the hell had any of them ever gotten a break from risking their lives? Maddox wagered that he'd saved enough mundane lives at this point to merit a fucking week to fall apart and somehow put himself back together. He arrived at Hunter's loft and didn't really give him any warning before kissing him. Just like that, Maddox was inside the door and his lips were on Hunter's. He didn't have to say anything for him to understand what was happening. Maddox told him about Josh, and they both knew this day would come. Hunter promised that he'd be there.

 Immediately, Hunter's hands were softly cupping Maddox's face as he kissed him back deeply. It was the kind of intensity that Maddox needed. He pushed the door closed behind him and started pawing at Hunter's clothes already. He tugged up his loose t-shirt and while Hunter finished shedding it, Maddox slipped out of his leather jacket. He pulled his black t-shirt over his head and finally, he was able to pull Hunter's body flush with his and feel their skin touch. Hunter was cool against his warmth, which kind of got him a little hard every time. He navigated Hunter's apartment with ease, guiding him back with every step while unzipping his pants. By the time they reached the bedroom, Maddox had pushed both pants and boxers down. He shoved Hunter hard back onto the bed naked.

 The moment they broke apart was a second that Maddox might've had to think and let his unhappy circumstances and heartbreak sink in but the sight of Hunter naked on his black sheets completely consumed him. His cock was straining his skinny jeans by now, and Maddox hissed at the pain and difficulty of unzipping his pants. He was impatient and finally pushed them down his legs along with his boxers. He stood there a moment to let Hunter look at him just like he had earlier. Maddox couldn't help noting with a smirk how much Hunter's dick twitched while looking at him. That's when Maddox couldn't stand it any longer and he crawled onto the bed. He was on top of Hunter in seconds and grabbed his hands when Hunter eagerly reached for his hips. Maddox pinned them above his head and leaned down to kiss Hunter deeply.

 "Are you gonna behave tonight or are you gonna be a little brat?" he asked against Hunter's lips, grinding down on him so he could feel his dick. Maddox made it clear what kind of mood he was in. He could've fucked him right then and there, but he was riding the high of control. It was one thing he'd never had in his relationship with Josh. Maddox hadn't chosen to fallen in love with him in the first place, and right now he hated his parabatai for making him. There was really no choice. The second Maddox saw Josh, he'd fallen hard.

 "I don't know, I guess we'll just have to see..." Hunter smirked with a devious twinkle in his eye.

 Maddox released Hunter's hands so that he could start to climb up his body to his head. He placed one knee on either side of his head looked down at Hunter with his cock literally in his face. "Lube me up if you wanna be fucked," he told him as he reached down to cradle Hunter's head and lift him up. He shivered when Hunter placed a kiss on his thigh and let out a low whine. He pressed Hunter's head there to indicate he wanted more. "Bite me," Maddox begged. He knew the blood filling his cock and pulsing hard through the artery in his thigh must drive Hunter crazy. "Please," he whimpered. He needed to lose himself in this.

 It wasn't that Hunter was trying to disobey purposefully. He would've done what Maddox asked immediately because he wanted it too, but he knew what Maddox had just gone through. He wasn't in the greatest frame of mind, and this was serious. Maddox looked down pleadingly. "Please," he whispered.

 Hunter always took direction well and he finally wrapped his arms around Maddox's thick, muscled thighs. He pulled him closer and kissed along his thigh to the point he wanted, directly over the femoral artery. Hunter was a tease, sucking on Maddox's skin and nipping it but not with his fangs. Maddox growled impatiently and tugged on Hunter's hair roughly. "Hunter," he whined and pressed his head down again. This time, the vampire gave in and pulled away just enough to let his fangs descend. He licked over the spot before he sank his teeth into Maddox's skin. Not even giving him a moment to process the wave of pleasure that hit him, Hunter reached for Maddox's cock and pumped his hand along the shaft while he drank from him.

 Maddox had to let go of Hunter's head with one hand, slamming it against the wall to steady himself. The pleasure was so overwhelming at once that he thought he might've blacked out, and he was seeing stars. As much as he would've loved to watch what Hunter was doing to him, he couldn't even open his eyes. His head was dropped back as he moaned shamelessly. It ended too soon for his liking, but Maddox knew that Hunter wanted to be careful not to take too much blood. Especially if they were planning on having more sex. Maddox confessed that he'd probably want to fuck constantly just to feel better and stop thinking for a little while. He wanted Hunter to taste him again, and that meant being careful.

 Hunter was always annoyingly persistent about it. He remembered that Maddox got hungry even when Maddox hadn't thought about it. He always kept food now since their sex usually left Maddox pretty ravenous. It was very sweet and domestic and thoughtful. Maddox liked being thought of, and that was one thing he always knew was true when it came to Hunter. He thought of Maddox constantly and always put him first. He wasn't the second choice that he'd settled with for the meantime until he found something better. Hunter was open about how special he believed Maddox was, and his attraction to him always caught Maddox by surprise.

 He was confident in his looks and even more so his skill in bed, but Hunter was so attracted to everything about him. It gave Maddox a kind of power he wasn't sure he'd ever had before, and it actually made him the slightest bit shy. Maddox was so used to the role he played with Josh that he'd never once considered the possibility that to someone else, he was Josh. He was the sexiest man they'd ever seen, the one they wanted most, the person they couldn't stop thinking about... that's how Hunter saw him. He had, from the very beginning. Maddox was the one that downplayed the seriousness of what they had, chasing an impossible fantasy with Josh that was ultimately going to leave him empty and alone.

 Hunter withdrew his fangs from Maddox's skin and sucked a little on the two small wounds, licking over them to capture the last traces of blood. He tormented Maddox with how slowly he kissed up towards his groin. It took everything in Maddox not to just force his cock into Hunter's mouth. When he finally felt the warm wetness of Hunter's mouth, he was sucking on one of his balls. He massaged the other one gently with his hand before capturing it with his mouth too. Maddox whined, clenching his hand into a fist in Hunter's hair.

 His cock was aching and at long last, Hunter licked along his length to the tip. He was taking his time to swirl his tongue around the head of Maddox's cock and suck on it teasingly. However, the moment he finally wrapped his lips around it, Maddox didn't give him a chance to change his mind. He thrust himself into Hunter's mouth and forced him to take his full length down his throat. Hunter didn't technically need to breathe, which made him excellent when it came to deepthroating. His lips were made to suck cock. Maddox thought about it the moment he'd met Hunter. He knew he'd want those lips around his dick, and Maddox eagerly fucked his mouth while cradling his head.

 "That's it, baby, choke on me," Maddox praised him. He kept himself buried down Hunter's throat sometimes, just to make him gag and feel his throat muscles clench around him. He was getting off on being in control of the pleasure, and he finally pulled Hunter's head off his cock. "Fuck, your mouth is so good," Maddox groaned. "You deserve to be fucked for taking all of me like that." He reached down to wipe the spit off Hunter's swollen lips and pumped his own cock that was now slick from Hunter's mouth.

 "Fuck me, please," Hunter begged. He helped Maddox shift back down his body and between his legs. Maddox was impatient to kiss Hunter and he was pleased to taste the faintest hint of blood in his mouth, metallic against his tongue. He sucked on Hunter's lip while he positioned himself at his entrance. Maddox didn't wait and continued to kiss Hunter while he pressed inside him.

 "Ah- ah-" he scolded Hunter when he felt him grabbing onto his body. Maddox reached for Hunter's hands again and pinned them. Now that he was inside Hunter, he kept rocking his hips down to bury himself again and again. Their bodies were pressed together and Maddox didn't stop kissing him. Hunter was moaning through their kisses and eventually, he decided that he wanted to hear more of it. He kissed down to Hunter's neck and started to suck on the skin to leave mark, all while continuing to thrust into him a little harder every time. He held tight to Hunter's wrists and kept fucking him so he could drink in the sounds of Hunter's groans and cries growing louder. "You're mine," he growled in his ear. "Say it."

 "I'm yours," Hunter repeated so quickly. No hesitation.

 "Beg me to make you come," Maddox ordered. He slowed the roll of his hips, continuing to pump himself inside Hunter but with deliberate slowness. The blond vampire whined underneath him.

 "Please, Maddox," he said in a rush. He was so shameless, so ready to fall apart for Maddox. He'd do anything this man said. "Make me come. Fuck me harder, please. I want your cock. Harder, please. Please fuck me-"

 Maddox released one of Hunter's wrists so that he could grasp his throat. He returned his mouth to Hunter's and kissed him while squeezing a little tighter on his throat. Hunter's gasps and moans were strangled and Maddox started fucking him properly again. He took him even harder this time and he enjoyed Hunter's struggles to speak with his hand crushing his windpipe. Maddox eventually had to let go so he could use his arm to help balance while he fucked Hunter faster. He was getting close to his own orgasm, but he wanted to feel Hunter fall apart first. He wanted to hit that spot inside him with every thrust, and Maddox groaned with the effort and the restraint of denying his own pleasure.

 "Maddox!" Hunter moaned loudly. They were both panting in the air between them, neither able to kiss the other anymore because they were so lost in the moment and their own pleasure. Maddox didn't relent until he felt Hunter fall apart and his release spilling between them. That's when he could finally let go, pumping a few more times into him before he came hard. He fucked him through his orgasm and drew it out as long as possible. His motions significantly slowed but he needed those last few deep strokes inside Hunter.

 Finally, he pulled out and he also collapsed on top of Hunter with exhaustion from how hard he'd gone since the moment Hunter opened the door. It seemed to take forever yet was finished in a second. Time was distorted to Maddox, and all he knew is that he wanted to stay in the moment with Hunter as long as he possibly could. He didn't want to remember that the man he loved was someone that he was actually forbidden to love. If only it worked like that, and Maddox could've spared himself this pain by simply not falling for Josh in the first place. He wasn't Josh's choice. No matter how good they were together, it was somehow not enough.

 Apparently it wasn't good enough because it wasn't what she could give him. The girl that could make Josh decide to fall in love again, even when he'd sworn to never fall for anyone again after he'd lost Audrey. Heather could do that for him, and Maddox was just someone he passed the time with. Josh swore it was special to him, and deep down Maddox knew that it mattered. The intimacy was impossible to ignore during the moments they'd spent in bed. It was personal and real, but it was also easy for Maddox to dismiss when he was bitter and hurt that he still wasn't the one Josh wanted a future with at the end of the day.

 Maddox didn't like that he was thinking about Josh seconds after his orgasm with Hunter still underneath him. How was it so hard to shake him? Maddox wanted just one moment of fucking freedom. He desperately continued kissing Hunter's neck, panting for air because of all the energy he'd just exerted. His breathlessness wasn't enough to make him slow down. He reached Hunter's lips and kissed him deeply and eagerly. He tried to get lost in those full lips and the comfort they brought him, but suddenly something wet touched his cheek. Maddox didn't fully realize he was crying until some of the tears had trickled down onto Hunter's cheeks too while they kissed.

 Once he realized what was happening, Maddox pulled away abruptly. He recoiled from Hunter and dropped over to his side in bed. He turned away from Hunter and curled tightly into a ball while sobs began to rack his body. He hadn't grieved yet since his first time with Josh. It was bound to happen eventually as the weight of everything caught up to him. He cried for the unfairness of the situation and how selfish he felt demanding comfort from Hunter when he was in love with someone else. He was embarrassed by his own emotions and his tears. Emotions were something Maddox did his hardest to bury unless they were useful to him, like his anger and ambition and determination. His fiercely protective nature and killer instincts were one thing, but heartbreak was not something that Maddox was taught to handle. Certainly not being heartbroken over his parabatai.

 Whether he deserved it or not, Hunter made the decision for him and wrapped his arm around him. Hunter curled up behind him and pulled Maddox against his broad chest. Although he felt like absolute shit for what he was doing and didn't believe he deserved this kindness, he allowed himself to sink into Hunter. He leaned back into his chest and let Hunter squeeze his arm around him. He cried until he had no tears left, for the moment anyway, and his voice had gone slightly hoarse. Silence fell between them but Hunter didn't prompt Maddox to speak.

 He drifted to sleep and awoke to the moon shining brightly through the floor-to-ceiling window. Maddox was still curled into a ball in the same position as earlier. He knew that he hadn't moved an inch because every joint in his body ached from being clenched into this tiny, constrained position. The surprising thing was that Hunter hadn't moved either. Maddox couldn't tell if he was asleep or not (he was still unclear on whether vampires actually slept the same way mundanes did) but his body was still pressed against Maddox's back. His arm was comfortably looped around Maddox's waist, and he actually smiled to himself for the first time in a long while. It felt good. He felt good.

 For the briefest of moments, waking up to find Hunter hadn't left him for even a second made him smile. He believed he was important in that moment. For a few seconds, he felt like he was special to someone who really cared whether he was okay. It wasn't even that Josh didn't care about him, because Maddox knew Josh loved him and would easily die for him. He didn't care about him in the same way. But to Hunter? Maddox was everything, and he actually believed it for a few seconds.

 That only triggered the return of tears, which Maddox had actually thought he'd completely run dry of. If Hunter had been asleep, the shaking in Maddox's shoulders told him that he was crying again. Hunter tightened the arm holding Maddox and pressed soft kisses against his bare shoulder while Maddox cried himself out again. He wasn't sure when he fell asleep, but he knew that time had passed because the blackout shades were drawn in the bedroom now indicating that it was daytime.

 Once again, he was greeted by the comforting presence of Hunter's body behind him. He started to stretch out his very sore limbs and rolled over onto his back, opening his eyes. Maddox found Hunter looking back down at him softly. He'd kind of broken down hard... and he might've been shy or nervous about that fact if he hadn't seen such kindness in Hunter's eyes just then. Maddox teared up again, which angered him briefly, but he smiled. Hunter reached up to cup his face, brushing a few stray auburn curls back and stroking Maddox's cheek.

 They lingered there in content silence for a long moment, simply looking at one another, before Maddox reached up to pull Hunter down for a kiss. His eyes fluttered closed and he kissed the vampire softly and slowly, with none of the urgency from the night before. It was romantic and gentle and Maddox honestly lost track of how long it lasted. He laid there on his back kissing Hunter and losing himself in the warmth of being wanted by someone completely.

 Hunter was the one to break the kiss but only so he could kiss down Maddox's jaw to his neck. He kissed him along his neck before sucking softly and nipping at his skin. Maddox whimpered. "Please."

 Although Hunter probably wanted to argue that Maddox should have something to eat before they did this again, he gave into him like he usually did. It was so fucking hard for him to say no to Maddox. He sank his teeth into Maddox's neck and the Shadowhunter gasped. His dick definitely twitched and he held on to the back of Hunter's neck as he drank from him. Hunter's hand sneaked down his body between them, taking hold of his half-hard cock and stroking him slowly.

 It was so easy to get the moans to fall from Maddox's lips then. He was a loud mess, and Hunter wished he could've let himself get carried away longer. He regretfully had to pull his fangs out, cleaning Maddox up with his tongue. He kissed Maddox after, knowing it's what the other man loved, and he didn't stop pumping his hand along Maddox's cock either. Maddox groaned into the kiss and let his tongue explore Hunter's mouth, licking carefully over the exposed points of his fangs. It was so hot.

 Hunter pulled away before he was really done, but Maddox couldn't complain when the blond began kissing his chest. He worked his way slowly down Maddox's body, ready to finish what he'd started the night before. He didn't taunt Maddox this time, instead wrapping his lips around Maddox's cock without hesitation. He could tell how much Maddox both needed and deserved this. Still buzzing off the high of Hunter's bite, he easily bucked his hips up into Hunter's mouth to get more stimulation. Understanding what he needed, Hunter bobbed his head along Maddox's length with increasing speed. He used his hand in combination with his mouth to keep Maddox stimulated.

 This was a blowjob for the specific purpose of getting him off as quickly as possible, and so Hunter didn't hold back. It's not like he needed to breathe anyway. He sank down on Maddox's cock deep and pulled back without much visible struggle, simply intense determination. He moaned when he felt Maddox's hand in his hair and pushing his head down. He was helping Hunter establish a rhythm the way he needed it, and Hunter let Maddox take the control he desired. Moans poured from him, and he was happy to call out Hunter's name.

 Once more Maddox had forgotten what he'd been through, if only for the briefest of times while Hunter sucked him off. He pressed Hunter's head down when he came, emptying himself down Hunter's throat and feeling him swallow. He sucked on Maddox's cock until he was finished and teased his tip even after that to help him ride out the wave of pleasure. He kissed back up the Shadowhunter's tattooed body and then kissed those beautiful lips again. Once more, Maddox was eager to taste and he met Hunter's tongue. He smirked into the kiss and deepened it before trying to speak, raggedly between kisses. "So which is better- my blood or my cum?"

 "Why can't I have both?" Hunter smarted off back.

 Maddox only smirked more, feeling the familiar rush of cocky pride that he was used to. He felt like himself for the first time in a little while. "You can," Maddox surrendered. He could've told Hunter off for being a little shit, but they both knew his answer made Maddox happy.

 "I need yours," Maddox decided and pushed Hunter over onto his back. He planted his knee between Hunter's legs and his hand beside Hunter's head. He continued kissing him for a moment longer before moving his lips down to Hunter's chest. His cool skin met Maddox's warm lips and tongue, and he took his time appreciating Hunter's body. It was something he hadn't gotten the chance to do in his eagerness last night, but now he wanted to give Hunter the attention he deserved. He wanted the vampire to understand how truly important he was to Maddox, despite the fact that Maddox was heartbroken over another man right now.

 Hunter was so expressive, giving Maddox the moans and whimpers he wanted. He sucked on the skin of his lower tummy while he deliberately ignored Hunter's arousal. He was being a little shit too.

 "Maddox, please," Hunter whined, trying to push his head down.

 Chuckling, Maddox finally pulled away and got settled between Hunter's legs. He turned his attention to Hunter's cock and grasped it firmly. He licked around the tip and took his time sucking on it, silencing any further protesting from Hunter. He was a mess now. It was almost too easy. He sank down on Hunter's cock, his own eyes fluttering shut as he got lost in the rhythm of bobbing his head along the shaft.

 It was something he knew how to do so well and didn't have to think about very hard, which allowed him to get lost in the intimacy of the moment with Hunter and listening to the other man slowly come undone. He swallowed eagerly when Hunter's release hit the back of his throat. Maddox moaned loudly around Hunter's cock and helped draw out his orgasm as long as he could. Hearing Hunter scream his name never got old. He pulled off Hunter's cock and left a wet kiss on his thigh. He planted a few more before Hunter started to whine louder.

 "Maddox!" he begged. "C'mere, I wanna kiss you."

 He was so adorable actually, lost in the haze of his orgasm. Maddox couldn't deny him any longer. He crawled back up Hunter's body so that he could finally press a kiss to his lips. Hunter tried to taste himself on Maddox's tongue, moaning into their kiss. It would've been so easy to get lost in his kisses again and forget about the time or what was happening outside of this apartment. And Maddox intended to, but he needed something else more. He abruptly broke the kiss and pulled back to look down at Hunter. The blond was visibly surprised and immediately concerned. Maddox just smiled softly, happy to look into Hunter's eyes.

 "Thank you," he whispered because he was scared his voice might crack if he tried to speak any louder.

 "Oh, baby," Hunter breathed. He melted. He reached up to stroke Maddox's cheek with his thumb. "You're welcome. I'm here for you, always."

 Maddox let himself take in Hunter's touch for a moment, breathing out shakily. When his lip began to quiver and tears threatened to fall if he looked at Hunter any longer, he leaned back down for another passionate kiss and let it speak for him.

 His dick was already getting hard again as he grinded against Hunter while they kissed. His cock was still spent from his blowjob earlier, so it was easy to press himself inside Hunter once he guided himself to his entrance. Hunter gasped into the kiss which just made Maddox kiss him harder. He started rocking himself inside Hunter but more slowly and deliberately each time he rolled his hips down. He kissed Hunter so emotionally the whole time, setting a steady pace with his thrusts.

 This time, the vampire was able to hold onto Maddox's hips with one hand and help pull him down each time he rocked his hips forward. His other hand was down Maddox's strong back, the muscles rolling underneath the touch of Hunter's fingertips, flexed to help him balance on top of Hunter while he fucked him. They were both a mix of moans and heavy breathing between every kiss.

 He'd been reluctant to say these words until now, despite knowing that he felt them. He thought it would be confusing considering the fact that he was currently heartbroken over Josh. Just because Josh was his first love, it didn't mean he was his only love.

 Maddox broke their kiss and pressed his forehead against Hunter's. "I love you," he confessed with trembling breaths. "I know it's fucking complicated cause I still love Josh but fuck, baby... I love you too. I love you so fucking much." He'd never confessed that to anyone before. He'd only said it to Josh before, and that didn't seem like such a scary thing to do when Josh already knew.

 "Maddox..." Hunter's voice cracked. He tilted his chin up and captured Maddox's lips in another kiss. "I love you too."

 The tension coiled in Maddox's chest abruptly released, and he gasped against Hunter's mouth. He kissed him with renewed fervor. "I love you," he repeated. Maddox thrust into him a little harder and deeper. He repeated the words again and again as he picked up his pace, intent on bringing Hunter to his climax now. "Moan for me, only me," he told him. "Say my name." He groaned and panted against Hunter's mouth as he pumped into him with determination. Hunter was falling apart against his lips, whimpering and moaning.

 "Maddox!" he cried out. Practically begging for more, and that's what Maddox gave him. He made sure to bottom out every time he thrust into Hunter, wanting him to feel it where he needed it most. Maddox was drinking in Hunter's screams, waiting for the one that would accompany his orgasm. He felt Hunter reach his climax in every way possible. The blond dug his short nails into Maddox's back, and he screamed his name. The air between them was so heavy that Maddox swore he felt Hunter's pleasure as his own, and he didn't stop fucking him until he spilled himself inside Hunter. Maddox moaned loud and dropped his head into Hunter's shoulder. His hips stilled with him still inside Hunter. He messily kissed Hunter's neck.

 "You have to feed me before I fuck you again," Maddox teased in his ear. He chuckled happily, and he'd actually succeeded in forgetting his pain for the moment. He was looking forward to the time he'd spend with Hunter instead of lamenting the time he'd lost with Josh.

 "Okay, then let's fix that asap," Hunter quickly decided. "Cause I need your cock, and I have at least five other major arteries to tap."

 Maddox laughed again, as he easily did when he was with Hunter. Things were always easy with Hunter. "Breakfast burritos?" he mumbled as he kissed Hunter's neck. "You know, the place around the corner that's open late. I'm always craving one after sex with you."

 Hunter reached for his phone with Maddox still nuzzling his neck and his cock still inside him. Maddox regretfully pulled out when he needed to let Hunter stretch just a little further to the nightstand where his phone was charging. He swiped to unlock it and proceeded with the order on Door Dash while Maddox left hickies all along his neck. And not once did Maddox wish he was with anyone else.

#mashton #lashton #michael clifford #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #5sos #5sos fic #5sos smut #thunder kings #ch: maddox fray #ch: hunter jackson #ch: josh perry #sh: hunter and maddox #sh: josh and maddox #writing*

[lukeshemmings]

5SOS APPRECIATION WEEK ♡ DAY FOUR angst | ex-lovers | supernatural AU: shadowhunters!sos 

i would take a bullet for you just to prove my love only to find out you are the one holding the gun

summary: maddox turns to hunter for comfort when he realizes josh will never love him back in the same way. characters: maddox fray (ashton irwin), hunter bane (michael clifford), josh wayland (luke hemmings), heather lightwood (sarah jeffery), carter penhallow (nick hargrove) ships: maddox/hunter. mentions of josh/maddox, josh/heather, heather/carter content:  angst, smut, hurt/comfort (warnings: blood play, choking, unprotected sex) playlist: motion - luke word count: 5k notes: this fic/universe is based on the mortal instruments/shadowhunters tv show. maddox and josh are both shadowhunters. hunter is a vampire. parabatai is “a pair of Nephilim warriors who fight together as lifelong partners, their souls bound together by oath and their angelic bond.” josh and maddox are parabatai. they are also forbidden to fall in love with each other.

Once again, he was greeted by the comforting presence of Hunter's body behind him. He started to stretch out his very sore limbs and rolled over onto his back, opening his eyes. Maddox found Hunter looking back down at him softly. He'd kind of broken down hard... and he might've been shy or nervous about that fact if he hadn't seen such kindness in Hunter's eyes just then. Maddox teared up again, which angered him briefly, but he smiled. Hunter reached up to cup his face, brushing a few stray auburn curls back and stroking Maddox's cheek. 

They lingered there in content silence for a long moment, simply looking at one another, before Maddox reached up to pull Hunter down for a kiss. His eyes fluttered closed and he kissed the vampire softly and slowly, with none of the urgency from the night before. It was romantic and gentle and Maddox honestly lost track of how long it lasted. He laid there on his back kissing Hunter and losing himself in the warmth of being wanted by someone completely. 

Hunter was the one to break the kiss but only so he could kiss down Maddox's jaw to his neck. He kissed him along his neck before sucking softly and nipping at his skin. Maddox whimpered. "Please."

It happened shortly after Heather's ex, Carter, left. Maybe they hadn't even waited until then... Maddox suspected that Josh had been sleeping with Heather while they were still hooking up. He didn't really care, because he'd ultimately gotten what he wanted and needed. He saw them together again today after Carter's departure and he knew that he wouldn't be with Josh again. He wondered if he'd even realized it was the last time while it was happening. Maybe he could talk Josh into one more time, but Maddox's heart wasn't in it once he knew that Josh had Heather available to him again. He cared about her. He was falling in love with her, and Maddox would know it the entire time they were together. No. He couldn't be with Josh again.

 Although Josh pleaded with him not to push him away, he was going to have to for at least a little while. He wasn't setting foot in the Institute unless it was to report for a mission. Fuck, he deserved vacation. When the hell had any of them ever gotten a break from risking their lives? Maddox wagered that he'd saved enough mundane lives at this point to merit a fucking week to fall apart and somehow put himself back together. He arrived at Hunter's loft and didn't really give him any warning before kissing him. Just like that, Maddox was inside the door and his lips were on Hunter's. He didn't have to say anything for him to understand what was happening. Maddox told him about Josh, and they both knew this day would come. Hunter promised that he'd be there.

 Immediately, Hunter's hands were softly cupping Maddox's face as he kissed him back deeply. It was the kind of intensity that Maddox needed. He pushed the door closed behind him and started pawing at Hunter's clothes already. He tugged up his loose t-shirt and while Hunter finished shedding it, Maddox slipped out of his leather jacket. He pulled his black t-shirt over his head and finally, he was able to pull Hunter's body flush with his and feel their skin touch. Hunter was cool against his warmth, which kind of got him a little hard every time. He navigated Hunter's apartment with ease, guiding him back with every step while unzipping his pants. By the time they reached the bedroom, Maddox had pushed both pants and boxers down. He shoved Hunter hard back onto the bed naked.

 The moment they broke apart was a second that Maddox might've had to think and let his unhappy circumstances and heartbreak sink in but the sight of Hunter naked on his black sheets completely consumed him. His cock was straining his skinny jeans by now, and Maddox hissed at the pain and difficulty of unzipping his pants. He was impatient and finally pushed them down his legs along with his boxers. He stood there a moment to let Hunter look at him just like he had earlier. Maddox couldn't help noting with a smirk how much Hunter's dick twitched while looking at him. That's when Maddox couldn't stand it any longer and he crawled onto the bed. He was on top of Hunter in seconds and grabbed his hands when Hunter eagerly reached for his hips. Maddox pinned them above his head and leaned down to kiss Hunter deeply.

 "Are you gonna behave tonight or are you gonna be a little brat?" he asked against Hunter's lips, grinding down on him so he could feel his dick. Maddox made it clear what kind of mood he was in. He could've fucked him right then and there, but he was riding the high of control. It was one thing he'd never had in his relationship with Josh. Maddox hadn't chosen to fallen in love with him in the first place, and right now he hated his parabatai for making him. There was really no choice. The second Maddox saw Josh, he'd fallen hard.

 "I don't know, I guess we'll just have to see..." Hunter smirked with a devious twinkle in his eye.

 Maddox released Hunter's hands so that he could start to climb up his body to his head. He placed one knee on either side of his head looked down at Hunter with his cock literally in his face. "Lube me up if you wanna be fucked," he told him as he reached down to cradle Hunter's head and lift him up. He shivered when Hunter placed a kiss on his thigh and let out a low whine. He pressed Hunter's head there to indicate he wanted more. "Bite me," Maddox begged. He knew the blood filling his cock and pulsing hard through the artery in his thigh must drive Hunter crazy. "Please," he whimpered. He needed to lose himself in this.

 It wasn't that Hunter was trying to disobey purposefully. He would've done what Maddox asked immediately because he wanted it too, but he knew what Maddox had just gone through. He wasn't in the greatest frame of mind, and this was serious. Maddox looked down pleadingly. "Please," he whispered.

 Hunter always took direction well and he finally wrapped his arms around Maddox's thick, muscled thighs. He pulled him closer and kissed along his thigh to the point he wanted, directly over the femoral artery. Hunter was a tease, sucking on Maddox's skin and nipping it but not with his fangs. Maddox growled impatiently and tugged on Hunter's hair roughly. "Hunter," he whined and pressed his head down again. This time, the vampire gave in and pulled away just enough to let his fangs descend. He licked over the spot before he sank his teeth into Maddox's skin. Not even giving him a moment to process the wave of pleasure that hit him, Hunter reached for Maddox's cock and pumped his hand along the shaft while he drank from him.

 Maddox had to let go of Hunter's head with one hand, slamming it against the wall to steady himself. The pleasure was so overwhelming at once that he thought he might've blacked out, and he was seeing stars. As much as he would've loved to watch what Hunter was doing to him, he couldn't even open his eyes. His head was dropped back as he moaned shamelessly. It ended too soon for his liking, but Maddox knew that Hunter wanted to be careful not to take too much blood. Especially if they were planning on having more sex. Maddox confessed that he'd probably want to fuck constantly just to feel better and stop thinking for a little while. He wanted Hunter to taste him again, and that meant being careful.

 Hunter was always annoyingly persistent about it. He remembered that Maddox got hungry even when Maddox hadn't thought about it. He always kept food now since their sex usually left Maddox pretty ravenous. It was very sweet and domestic and thoughtful. Maddox liked being thought of, and that was one thing he always knew was true when it came to Hunter. He thought of Maddox constantly and always put him first. He wasn't the second choice that he'd settled with for the meantime until he found something better. Hunter was open about how special he believed Maddox was, and his attraction to him always caught Maddox by surprise.

 He was confident in his looks and even more so his skill in bed, but Hunter was so attracted to everything about him. It gave Maddox a kind of power he wasn't sure he'd ever had before, and it actually made him the slightest bit shy. Maddox was so used to the role he played with Josh that he'd never once considered the possibility that to someone else, he was Josh. He was the sexiest man they'd ever seen, the one they wanted most, the person they couldn't stop thinking about... that's how Hunter saw him. He had, from the very beginning. Maddox was the one that downplayed the seriousness of what they had, chasing an impossible fantasy with Josh that was ultimately going to leave him empty and alone.

 Hunter withdrew his fangs from Maddox's skin and sucked a little on the two small wounds, licking over them to capture the last traces of blood. He tormented Maddox with how slowly he kissed up towards his groin. It took everything in Maddox not to just force his cock into Hunter's mouth. When he finally felt the warm wetness of Hunter's mouth, he was sucking on one of his balls. He massaged the other one gently with his hand before capturing it with his mouth too. Maddox whined, clenching his hand into a fist in Hunter's hair.

 His cock was aching and at long last, Hunter licked along his length to the tip. He was taking his time to swirl his tongue around the head of Maddox's cock and suck on it teasingly. However, the moment he finally wrapped his lips around it, Maddox didn't give him a chance to change his mind. He thrust himself into Hunter's mouth and forced him to take his full length down his throat. Hunter didn't technically need to breathe, which made him excellent when it came to deepthroating. His lips were made to suck cock. Maddox thought about it the moment he'd met Hunter. He knew he'd want those lips around his dick, and Maddox eagerly fucked his mouth while cradling his head.

 "That's it, baby, choke on me," Maddox praised him. He kept himself buried down Hunter's throat sometimes, just to make him gag and feel his throat muscles clench around him. He was getting off on being in control of the pleasure, and he finally pulled Hunter's head off his cock. "Fuck, your mouth is so good," Maddox groaned. "You deserve to be fucked for taking all of me like that." He reached down to wipe the spit off Hunter's swollen lips and pumped his own cock that was now slick from Hunter's mouth.

 "Fuck me, please," Hunter begged. He helped Maddox shift back down his body and between his legs. Maddox was impatient to kiss Hunter and he was pleased to taste the faintest hint of blood in his mouth, metallic against his tongue. He sucked on Hunter's lip while he positioned himself at his entrance. Maddox didn't wait and continued to kiss Hunter while he pressed inside him.

 "Ah- ah-" he scolded Hunter when he felt him grabbing onto his body. Maddox reached for Hunter's hands again and pinned them. Now that he was inside Hunter, he kept rocking his hips down to bury himself again and again. Their bodies were pressed together and Maddox didn't stop kissing him. Hunter was moaning through their kisses and eventually, he decided that he wanted to hear more of it. He kissed down to Hunter's neck and started to suck on the skin to leave mark, all while continuing to thrust into him a little harder every time. He held tight to Hunter's wrists and kept fucking him so he could drink in the sounds of Hunter's groans and cries growing louder. "You're mine," he growled in his ear. "Say it."

 "I'm yours," Hunter repeated so quickly. No hesitation.

 "Beg me to make you come," Maddox ordered. He slowed the roll of his hips, continuing to pump himself inside Hunter but with deliberate slowness. The blond vampire whined underneath him.

 "Please, Maddox," he said in a rush. He was so shameless, so ready to fall apart for Maddox. He'd do anything this man said. "Make me come. Fuck me harder, please. I want your cock. Harder, please. Please fuck me-"

 Maddox released one of Hunter's wrists so that he could grasp his throat. He returned his mouth to Hunter's and kissed him while squeezing a little tighter on his throat. Hunter's gasps and moans were strangled and Maddox started fucking him properly again. He took him even harder this time and he enjoyed Hunter's struggles to speak with his hand crushing his windpipe. Maddox eventually had to let go so he could use his arm to help balance while he fucked Hunter faster. He was getting close to his own orgasm, but he wanted to feel Hunter fall apart first. He wanted to hit that spot inside him with every thrust, and Maddox groaned with the effort and the restraint of denying his own pleasure.

 "Maddox!" Hunter moaned loudly. They were both panting in the air between them, neither able to kiss the other anymore because they were so lost in the moment and their own pleasure. Maddox didn't relent until he felt Hunter fall apart and his release spilling between them. That's when he could finally let go, pumping a few more times into him before he came hard. He fucked him through his orgasm and drew it out as long as possible. His motions significantly slowed but he needed those last few deep strokes inside Hunter.

 Finally, he pulled out and he also collapsed on top of Hunter with exhaustion from how hard he'd gone since the moment Hunter opened the door. It seemed to take forever yet was finished in a second. Time was distorted to Maddox, and all he knew is that he wanted to stay in the moment with Hunter as long as he possibly could. He didn't want to remember that the man he loved was someone that he was actually forbidden to love. If only it worked like that, and Maddox could've spared himself this pain by simply not falling for Josh in the first place. He wasn't Josh's choice. No matter how good they were together, it was somehow not enough.

 Apparently it wasn't good enough because it wasn't what she could give him. The girl that could make Josh decide to fall in love again, even when he'd sworn to never fall for anyone again after he'd lost Audrey. Heather could do that for him, and Maddox was just someone he passed the time with. Josh swore it was special to him, and deep down Maddox knew that it mattered. The intimacy was impossible to ignore during the moments they'd spent in bed. It was personal and real, but it was also easy for Maddox to dismiss when he was bitter and hurt that he still wasn't the one Josh wanted a future with at the end of the day.

 Maddox didn't like that he was thinking about Josh seconds after his orgasm with Hunter still underneath him. How was it so hard to shake him? Maddox wanted just one moment of fucking freedom. He desperately continued kissing Hunter's neck, panting for air because of all the energy he'd just exerted. His breathlessness wasn't enough to make him slow down. He reached Hunter's lips and kissed him deeply and eagerly. He tried to get lost in those full lips and the comfort they brought him, but suddenly something wet touched his cheek. Maddox didn't fully realize he was crying until some of the tears had trickled down onto Hunter's cheeks too while they kissed.

 Once he realized what was happening, Maddox pulled away abruptly. He recoiled from Hunter and dropped over to his side in bed. He turned away from Hunter and curled tightly into a ball while sobs began to rack his body. He hadn't grieved yet since his first time with Josh. It was bound to happen eventually as the weight of everything caught up to him. He cried for the unfairness of the situation and how selfish he felt demanding comfort from Hunter when he was in love with someone else. He was embarrassed by his own emotions and his tears. Emotions were something Maddox did his hardest to bury unless they were useful to him, like his anger and ambition and determination. His fiercely protective nature and killer instincts were one thing, but heartbreak was not something that Maddox was taught to handle. Certainly not being heartbroken over his parabatai.

 Whether he deserved it or not, Hunter made the decision for him and wrapped his arm around him. Hunter curled up behind him and pulled Maddox against his broad chest. Although he felt like absolute shit for what he was doing and didn't believe he deserved this kindness, he allowed himself to sink into Hunter. He leaned back into his chest and let Hunter squeeze his arm around him. He cried until he had no tears left, for the moment anyway, and his voice had gone slightly hoarse. Silence fell between them but Hunter didn't prompt Maddox to speak.

 He drifted to sleep and awoke to the moon shining brightly through the floor-to-ceiling window. Maddox was still curled into a ball in the same position as earlier. He knew that he hadn't moved an inch because every joint in his body ached from being clenched into this tiny, constrained position. The surprising thing was that Hunter hadn't moved either. Maddox couldn't tell if he was asleep or not (he was still unclear on whether vampires actually slept the same way mundanes did) but his body was still pressed against Maddox's back. His arm was comfortably looped around Maddox's waist, and he actually smiled to himself for the first time in a long while. It felt good. He felt good.

 For the briefest of moments, waking up to find Hunter hadn't left him for even a second made him smile. He believed he was important in that moment. For a few seconds, he felt like he was special to someone who really cared whether he was okay. It wasn't even that Josh didn't care about him, because Maddox knew Josh loved him and would easily die for him. He didn't care about him in the same way. But to Hunter? Maddox was everything, and he actually believed it for a few seconds.

 That only triggered the return of tears, which Maddox had actually thought he'd completely run dry of. If Hunter had been asleep, the shaking in Maddox's shoulders told him that he was crying again. Hunter tightened the arm holding Maddox and pressed soft kisses against his bare shoulder while Maddox cried himself out again. He wasn't sure when he fell asleep, but he knew that time had passed because the blackout shades were drawn in the bedroom now indicating that it was daytime.

 Once again, he was greeted by the comforting presence of Hunter's body behind him. He started to stretch out his very sore limbs and rolled over onto his back, opening his eyes. Maddox found Hunter looking back down at him softly. He'd kind of broken down hard... and he might've been shy or nervous about that fact if he hadn't seen such kindness in Hunter's eyes just then. Maddox teared up again, which angered him briefly, but he smiled. Hunter reached up to cup his face, brushing a few stray auburn curls back and stroking Maddox's cheek.

 They lingered there in content silence for a long moment, simply looking at one another, before Maddox reached up to pull Hunter down for a kiss. His eyes fluttered closed and he kissed the vampire softly and slowly, with none of the urgency from the night before. It was romantic and gentle and Maddox honestly lost track of how long it lasted. He laid there on his back kissing Hunter and losing himself in the warmth of being wanted by someone completely.

 Hunter was the one to break the kiss but only so he could kiss down Maddox's jaw to his neck. He kissed him along his neck before sucking softly and nipping at his skin. Maddox whimpered. "Please."

 Although Hunter probably wanted to argue that Maddox should have something to eat before they did this again, he gave into him like he usually did. It was so fucking hard for him to say no to Maddox. He sank his teeth into Maddox's neck and the Shadowhunter gasped. His dick definitely twitched and he held on to the back of Hunter's neck as he drank from him. Hunter's hand sneaked down his body between them, taking hold of his half-hard cock and stroking him slowly.

 It was so easy to get the moans to fall from Maddox's lips then. He was a loud mess, and Hunter wished he could've let himself get carried away longer. He regretfully had to pull his fangs out, cleaning Maddox up with his tongue. He kissed Maddox after, knowing it's what the other man loved, and he didn't stop pumping his hand along Maddox's cock either. Maddox groaned into the kiss and let his tongue explore Hunter's mouth, licking carefully over the exposed points of his fangs. It was so hot.

 Hunter pulled away before he was really done, but Maddox couldn't complain when the blond began kissing his chest. He worked his way slowly down Maddox's body, ready to finish what he'd started the night before. He didn't taunt Maddox this time, instead wrapping his lips around Maddox's cock without hesitation. He could tell how much Maddox both needed and deserved this. Still buzzing off the high of Hunter's bite, he easily bucked his hips up into Hunter's mouth to get more stimulation. Understanding what he needed, Hunter bobbed his head along Maddox's length with increasing speed. He used his hand in combination with his mouth to keep Maddox stimulated.

 This was a blowjob for the specific purpose of getting him off as quickly as possible, and so Hunter didn't hold back. It's not like he needed to breathe anyway. He sank down on Maddox's cock deep and pulled back without much visible struggle, simply intense determination. He moaned when he felt Maddox's hand in his hair and pushing his head down. He was helping Hunter establish a rhythm the way he needed it, and Hunter let Maddox take the control he desired. Moans poured from him, and he was happy to call out Hunter's name.

 Once more Maddox had forgotten what he'd been through, if only for the briefest of times while Hunter sucked him off. He pressed Hunter's head down when he came, emptying himself down Hunter's throat and feeling him swallow. He sucked on Maddox's cock until he was finished and teased his tip even after that to help him ride out the wave of pleasure. He kissed back up the Shadowhunter's tattooed body and then kissed those beautiful lips again. Once more, Maddox was eager to taste and he met Hunter's tongue. He smirked into the kiss and deepened it before trying to speak, raggedly between kisses. "So which is better- my blood or my cum?"

 "Why can't I have both?" Hunter smarted off back.

 Maddox only smirked more, feeling the familiar rush of cocky pride that he was used to. He felt like himself for the first time in a little while. "You can," Maddox surrendered. He could've told Hunter off for being a little shit, but they both knew his answer made Maddox happy.

 "I need yours," Maddox decided and pushed Hunter over onto his back. He planted his knee between Hunter's legs and his hand beside Hunter's head. He continued kissing him for a moment longer before moving his lips down to Hunter's chest. His cool skin met Maddox's warm lips and tongue, and he took his time appreciating Hunter's body. It was something he hadn't gotten the chance to do in his eagerness last night, but now he wanted to give Hunter the attention he deserved. He wanted the vampire to understand how truly important he was to Maddox, despite the fact that Maddox was heartbroken over another man right now.

 Hunter was so expressive, giving Maddox the moans and whimpers he wanted. He sucked on the skin of his lower tummy while he deliberately ignored Hunter's arousal. He was being a little shit too.

 "Maddox, please," Hunter whined, trying to push his head down.

 Chuckling, Maddox finally pulled away and got settled between Hunter's legs. He turned his attention to Hunter's cock and grasped it firmly. He licked around the tip and took his time sucking on it, silencing any further protesting from Hunter. He was a mess now. It was almost too easy. He sank down on Hunter's cock, his own eyes fluttering shut as he got lost in the rhythm of bobbing his head along the shaft.

 It was something he knew how to do so well and didn't have to think about very hard, which allowed him to get lost in the intimacy of the moment with Hunter and listening to the other man slowly come undone. He swallowed eagerly when Hunter's release hit the back of his throat. Maddox moaned loudly around Hunter's cock and helped draw out his orgasm as long as he could. Hearing Hunter scream his name never got old. He pulled off Hunter's cock and left a wet kiss on his thigh. He planted a few more before Hunter started to whine louder.

 "Maddox!" he begged. "C'mere, I wanna kiss you."

 He was so adorable actually, lost in the haze of his orgasm. Maddox couldn't deny him any longer. He crawled back up Hunter's body so that he could finally press a kiss to his lips. Hunter tried to taste himself on Maddox's tongue, moaning into their kiss. It would've been so easy to get lost in his kisses again and forget about the time or what was happening outside of this apartment. And Maddox intended to, but he needed something else more. He abruptly broke the kiss and pulled back to look down at Hunter. The blond was visibly surprised and immediately concerned. Maddox just smiled softly, happy to look into Hunter's eyes.

 "Thank you," he whispered because he was scared his voice might crack if he tried to speak any louder.

 "Oh, baby," Hunter breathed. He melted. He reached up to stroke Maddox's cheek with his thumb. "You're welcome. I'm here for you, always."

 Maddox let himself take in Hunter's touch for a moment, breathing out shakily. When his lip began to quiver and tears threatened to fall if he looked at Hunter any longer, he leaned back down for another passionate kiss and let it speak for him.

 His dick was already getting hard again as he grinded against Hunter while they kissed. His cock was still spent from his blowjob earlier, so it was easy to press himself inside Hunter once he guided himself to his entrance. Hunter gasped into the kiss which just made Maddox kiss him harder. He started rocking himself inside Hunter but more slowly and deliberately each time he rolled his hips down. He kissed Hunter so emotionally the whole time, setting a steady pace with his thrusts.

 This time, the vampire was able to hold onto Maddox's hips with one hand and help pull him down each time he rocked his hips forward. His other hand was down Maddox's strong back, the muscles rolling underneath the touch of Hunter's fingertips, flexed to help him balance on top of Hunter while he fucked him. They were both a mix of moans and heavy breathing between every kiss.

 He'd been reluctant to say these words until now, despite knowing that he felt them. He thought it would be confusing considering the fact that he was currently heartbroken over Josh. Just because Josh was his first love, it didn't mean he was his only love.

 Maddox broke their kiss and pressed his forehead against Hunter's. "I love you," he confessed with trembling breaths. "I know it's fucking complicated cause I still love Josh but fuck, baby... I love you too. I love you so fucking much." He'd never confessed that to anyone before. He'd only said it to Josh before, and that didn't seem like such a scary thing to do when Josh already knew.

 "Maddox..." Hunter's voice cracked. He tilted his chin up and captured Maddox's lips in another kiss. "I love you too."

 The tension coiled in Maddox's chest abruptly released, and he gasped against Hunter's mouth. He kissed him with renewed fervor. "I love you," he repeated. Maddox thrust into him a little harder and deeper. He repeated the words again and again as he picked up his pace, intent on bringing Hunter to his climax now. "Moan for me, only me," he told him. "Say my name." He groaned and panted against Hunter's mouth as he pumped into him with determination. Hunter was falling apart against his lips, whimpering and moaning.

 "Maddox!" he cried out. Practically begging for more, and that's what Maddox gave him. He made sure to bottom out every time he thrust into Hunter, wanting him to feel it where he needed it most. Maddox was drinking in Hunter's screams, waiting for the one that would accompany his orgasm. He felt Hunter reach his climax in every way possible. The blond dug his short nails into Maddox's back, and he screamed his name. The air between them was so heavy that Maddox swore he felt Hunter's pleasure as his own, and he didn't stop fucking him until he spilled himself inside Hunter. Maddox moaned loud and dropped his head into Hunter's shoulder. His hips stilled with him still inside Hunter. He messily kissed Hunter's neck.

 "You have to feed me before I fuck you again," Maddox teased in his ear. He chuckled happily, and he'd actually succeeded in forgetting his pain for the moment. He was looking forward to the time he'd spend with Hunter instead of lamenting the time he'd lost with Josh.

 "Okay, then let's fix that asap," Hunter quickly decided. "Cause I need your cock, and I have at least five other major arteries to tap."

 Maddox laughed again, as he easily did when he was with Hunter. Things were always easy with Hunter. "Breakfast burritos?" he mumbled as he kissed Hunter's neck. "You know, the place around the corner that's open late. I'm always craving one after sex with you."

 Hunter reached for his phone with Maddox still nuzzling his neck and his cock still inside him. Maddox regretfully pulled out when he needed to let Hunter stretch just a little further to the nightstand where his phone was charging. He swiped to unlock it and proceeded with the order on Door Dash while Maddox left hickies all along his neck. And not once did Maddox wish he was with anyone else.

#5sosedit #5sosweek21 #5sos #mashton #lashton #michael clifford #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #5sos fanfic #5sos smut #michael clifford fanfic #ashton irwin fanfic #thunder kings #ch: maddox fray #ch: hunter jackson #ch: josh perry #sh: maddox and hunter #sh: josh and maddox #writing* #ours #vicki #5sosweek*

[geekygoddesss]

Broken Codes (Part 2)

Summary: (Y/n) had a crush on Michael, but for her luck, her best friend did too.

Pairing: Ashton Irwin/Reader/Michael Clifford

Words: 7k

Sometimes I feel like there could be a small possibility I might be actually insane.

You could either be with me on this thought or against me, but in my own honest opinion, I think it would be way too easy for me right now to actually go insane pretty soon and, sew me, I don’t think it would be totally impossible for me to finish the week with a fried brain and possible psychosis. It would make total sense, more than anyone would imagine.

I have a lot of time to think about it on the way to the hotel, I think I have some solid conclusions from this single theory and after about an hour and a half of riding alone in a van full of strangers and only one friend, I had a lot of time to reflect on this and basing myself on pure facts and I can conclude that this might be the most chaotic weeks of my life.

There is just a bunch of facts for me to be aware of and that would easily help me on messing with my head while I was dealing with this kind of situation and just to name a few, I could conclude that:

I obsess

I am a perfectionist

I often imagine all of the possibilities that could happen from a small outcome.

I make movies in head

and the worst thing of it all, I get jealous and I envy people, which now came to be my best friend and it was wrong to envy or get jealous of someone like her, but here I was and I couldn’t seem to get a hold of myself.

If I didn’t have all the cards to be a psychopath I didn’t know what I had, and now I knew, this could easily play me in the course of the week, because just the tiniest slip could cost me a lot more than just a misunderstanding.

In the whole way to that hotel, I couldn’t help but ask myself a bunch of questions.

What am I going to do when I actually have to face him?

How am I going to act?

What am I going to say?

Am I going to lie to Crystal?

Should I be completely honest with her?

Does Crystal even like him at all?

Should I tell her how I feel?

Should I tell him how I feel?

There are a million questions I wish I could have answered, but before I could even think of a good (and realistic) solution  to any of my problems or at least just a patch up so I would not fuck up badly in my “perfect” vacation, we were already pulling over at the front of our hotel and everyone around me starts moving eagerly to get out of the car, I was shaken out of my little trance and basically dragged out of the car, because here is where my vacation really begins.

Correction, here is where my possible chaos begins.

Out of everything that was happening and all of the pressure I was feeling right now, I had to admit, this place was not bad at all, In fact, Crystal was right, I would love it because so far I have just seen the lobby and I am already in love, this looks like an entrance to heaven and I was eager to finally get to see what was inside, but I guess good things took it’s time because even when I would have loved to take a quick walk around the hotel right after I walked in, I still had to wait for our rooms to be set up so I had no other option than to suit myself and sit down somewhere because seeing how much people was with us, this was going to take a while.

Everyone here seems to know what to do the moment we get to reception, except for me because I am instantly pulled back from the line in front of the counter by the same person who brought me here and technically forced to sit down along in the set of furniture right behind us, like a child, she had some kind of set up for me already planned and I don’t know why and whatever it was, apparently she didn’t want me to spy on it, even when this concerned me a lot.

But I don’t fight with her, because I know how this goes, fighting or arguing with Crystal was always a lost cause, if you wanted to win or went against her because she would always find a way to be right. It was not that much of a big deal anyways, so I just limit myself to sit back and wait, whatever she had in mind was already planned and I guess I was supposed to not put my nose in any of those deals.

I make myself comfortable on the soft sofa, it was like my body was quickly adapting to it and while the minutes passed, I could have sworn my eyelids would be heavier by the second, because the place I was sitting in was soft and warm and I was really tired, I would not have minded taking a nap in there but I had to stay awake, just in case something went wrong, you never know.

I try to do my best to distract myself with everything going around me in order to not fall asleep. I try everything. I look at the fish tank in front of me and try to admire those exotic animals I have never seen before, I look around me and all of the decorations and nature going about the place, I look at the people with us and try my best to remember where and when I have seen them in the past and if I ever talked to them for one reason or another but most of them were new to me and it was impossible to remember something. But even when there was so much going around me and a lot to think about, I could stop laying my eyes in what I least wanted to see, them.

They were hugging while waiting for their turn, kissing, whispering in each other's ear, laughing, touching, being disgustingly romantic. I hate it.

and I hate myself for being such a snoop, but it’s like my eyes are glued to them, but more specifically, him, I just can’t take my eyes off him. I can’t ever just stop thinking about him, he is just so perfect and I am just so lame.

I am lame for not stepping up about my feelings when I could, I am lame for not introducing myself to him first and I am letting for letting this happen. That should be me right there not her.

I wish she knew why I felt this way, I wish she knew I feel like this.

Maybe for some people, it would seem stupid but I think in my head it made a lot of sense. In one way I feel like he’s been custom made for me and he is now being placed in my way for a reason, but I see that reason has been taking away because my best friend has now her hands all over him.

I never got a real chance to prove myself and now I won’t ever have it. It is not fair.

I just can’t stop staring at them and I can’t help myself to not get jealous, because I really am. My blood boils when I see her lean on him as they wait and I almost want to scream when I see her lay her hand casually on his back pocket, because that is something I just wished I could do in her place, such an intimate and innocent thing to do and she stole it from me. That should be me.

Time flies, I think, because I can see the light changing around me and somehow I feel like it’s just been a couple seconds, everything is happening too fast. I am too immersed in my own head.

“Miss (Y/n)” I hear a voice calling my name in a dreamy tone, cutting me out of my trance “Lady” She sings again, walking out of the line and looking over all the place to find my face, the instant we make eye contact she is already waving at me “There you are! Come, come”

Of course, I have to mentally slap myself to just wake up from whatever that was and go up to her, my energies were really low and were starting to wear me down to the point my head was starting to create crazy weird thoughts that seemed so unlike me. I couldn’t wait to sleep for a little bit.

I stand on my feet and walk on her direction, trying my very best to make my eyes open enough to seem awake and take away all the negative thoughts from my mind, right now every opinion or possible comment about her and her romantic life had to be canceled and not coming out of my mouth under any circumstances. I was a goddamn grave right now. “Yes” I say, giving her a small smile as I stand right at her front and try my best to act natural. “We’re checked in” she announces, making a little weird dance with her shoulders, almost acting like if it was some kind of celebration dance for finally taking one more step into vacation land.

Oh my Crystal, always so positive and happy. Why can’t I be that? “Nice!” I try to celebrate too but accidentally letting out exaggerated tone out of my mouth. She nods, looking at me a little weird at the sudden change in m voice. She does not make any kind of comment though, she knows what’s going on, I am way too tired, so without any further or do, she shows me the key cards resting in her hands like a deck of cards and pulling one from the bunch she announces. “You’re in 331, I am in 339”

I am in what and she is in what?

I was definitely not expecting this and it felt completely wrong, I was not liking this so much.

“Oh” I say a little awkwardly, taking the card from her but not being too sure of it “We’re not sharing rooms?” I ask awkwardly, a frown showing on my forehead “Who am I sharing rooms with?” I say looking up at her instantly.

I can now confirm I do not like this at all, because she is now smiling at me and shrugging like if she really had no idea who I am sharing rooms with and here is why, because I am not sharing rooms with anyone, she broke one of the deals we had when I agreed on coming on this trip and now I am embarrassed. I was supposed to pay for something and now I am not, this is embarrassing.

“Crys!” I exclaim, my foot stamping on the floor in annoyance.   “What?!” she asked in the same tone, except for the slight difference that she is laughing “I’m staying with Michael, you know that” she argues. “Yeah but this feels wrong, you’re paying me a room? That’s a lot” I say, pure stress was starting to show on my face and my cheeks going pink as I spoke.

I love her so much but I don't (and will never) like her spending this much money on me like this, it was generous of her but it felt wrong, I could perfectly pay for myself and she isn’t letting me. I felt like a load on her back. “I’ve told you this before and I tell you this now. Relax” She said, laying both hands on my shoulders and squeezing them a little. 

“I can’t” I argue, shaking my head as I looked down at the card in my hands. I felt bad. 

“Don’t worry about it” she assures me, showing me one big and true smile. “Let me pay you back” I insist, now whispering before someone decided to eavesdrop on how my friend was not letting me pay for my own deals. She is immediately shaking her head “Not happening” “At least half of it” I groan. “I’ve got it covered!” she exclaims waving it all off and being done with this argument instantly “It’s done, just, go in there and change, we’re going out” she says as an order, taking a step back and giving me a choice, stay on a pointless argument or follow her order. “Crystal” I whine, pressing my fingers against my forehead. I felt like I could possibly have a headache. “(Y/n)” she whines too, taking a step towards me and putting both hands back on my shoulder “you deserve it” she says in a soft voice “you work so much, you make a real effort to make everyone happy, you have done so much for me and you never get a break, this is my way to pay you back, relax about it” she assures me, leaning in to kiss on my temple.

I wish I could argue with that and I did not want to be arrogant about it but there was some truth on her words, I force myself too much, I try to do as much as I can for the people who are currently in my life and I never really get real time to enjoy myself, this was her way to tell me I had a real chance to give my mind a break after what felt like forever, and even when I didn’t entirely like the fact she was covering up all of my vacations, I was grateful for her and I would make sure to pay her back eventually in any way I could.

I just try to give her a smile even when my face showed pure discomfort and went in to give her a big hug as my way to say thank you, because just words weren’t enough, especially when my feelings about her were so mixed right now, I want to make sure that the moment I say it out loud I meant it with my heart. She deserves nothing else.

She takes in my hug and the moment we break it. She goes on to show me another card, the one with a big 331 on it that meant she had my copy.

 “I’ll take this with me” she announced, saving it on her back pocket. 

Now she manages to get a laugh out of me, I raise an eyebrow “I’m not a kid, you know?” I say rolling my eyes “You don’t need to go and check on me, I’ll be fine” I assure her. “Oh well, someone needs to make sure you’re not doing what I told you not to do, so yes I need this key” she said with a proud voice “to be fair, here’s my copy, but you know just...” she tries to explain, giving me a bit of a silence before saying “be careful”

Believe me, I got the message loud and clear. There is nothing I would rather see less than that in life and I would make sure to never step into that scene.

“Got that” I nod, taking her key and stacking it in with mine.

There’s a little cheer yell coming from inside of her the instant I take her key in my hands, I wish I knew where that is coming from because right after that she is throwing herself at me and pressing me in a breathtaking hug for the fifth time today.

“It’s going to be so fun” she cheers, jumping in excitement as she took a step back.

I was not going to lie, seeing all of the things they had laid off in the table to start of this vacation, I had to say this was all looking really promising and I really wanted to see what they had in mind.

So we were going out on our first night in Bali and I won’t take out the possibility on this being a night to remember (or maybe one I’d want to forget if I took the wrong steps).

“Do I have some time to sleep or are you going to...?” Go now. I motion with my hands, trying my best to not cut down on her excitement but I was feeling so tired, I could pass out at any second.

“Oh yeah, go rest” she says, not even thinking it through twice, the second she gives me the green light I am already walking back to grab my stuff, but she stops me, grabs my wrist before I could take one more step and asks “you have a dress right?” She says in a suspicious tone, I shake my head no “Something cute at least?” I shake my head again.

I packed for vacation, not for a wedding or whatever, I don’t do dresses for parties and all that.

She nods in understanding and stops a second to think about, to what I guess she lands on a quick solution, because right after that she is pointing at me and saying “I’ll be in your room in two and you better be awake” she says almost in a warning and walking backward on the opposite direction.

“Rude” I chuckle, rolling my eyes at ever answer.

She gasps in fake office “Not rude” she says, still walking back. She raises both arms in the Sri dramatically and exclaims “Fun!” She says, turning her back on me before announcing “I’ll text you” 

I nodded “Fine” I said, loud enough for her to hear me “See you around, I guess” I mumbled watching her walk away and back to her perfect little boyfriend.

Well… I guess this is it. Perfect vacation with my best friend and her new boyfriend, my crush. It officially begins now and I hate to admit I am not ready, I am going to spend the next two weeks of my life watching the guy I like the most loving on my best friend and I could do nothing about it, all I could do is suit myself and watch, It did not matter how much I tried to get myself mentally prepared for this back at home, the real deal was here now and I am not anywhere close to ready, I still feel just as bad about it as before.

Now I have a full room for myself and two hours to get myself ready, because tonight, I am meaning to get as drunk as never before.

                                       _____________

This party is a total joke. At least for me it is, because it has been already three hours and all I have done is switch between dancing alone and sit by myself at our table, waiting for someone to talk to me or invite me into a group, but ever since I walked in here, I was nothing for an outcast, waiting to be noticed, a total fucking joke.

I tried, I tried way to hard to integrate myself in this group of strangers and loosen up, have fun, make friends, start this vacation with the right foot, but even when I put a real effort on becoming one more person in their group, It did not seem to matter one bit, because I was being ignored by everyone, including my best friend. This is the worst party I have ever been in. Period.

This looked like if my biggest struggle in life have finally materialized into one big party and was being mashed together along with the fact that the boy I loved was dancing with someone else, touching her, Kissing her... all of the things I wished for the most, while at the same time, I was being ignored by everyone and being left alone when I was supposed to be having fun and making friends, I can’t even make friends at all, I am an introverted outcast.

This sucks.

The whole night goes on the same way, I take a shot, go dancing, take another shot, sit down hoping for someone to talk to me, order a drink, and this goes on for a couple more times, but even alcohol seemed to be failing me tonight, because out of the three drinks I have had so far, I feel almost as sober as I was when I came in here and that was just defeating my first real purpose of the night, getting so drunk I could wipe out this night out of my mind and I was failing completely. What is happening to me?.

By the time I order my fourth drink I decide I’ve had enough for tonight and it would be better not only to me but for everyone If I just go away, so that’s what I do. Right when the clock hits 2 in the morning, I slide a liquor bottle under my arm (the first one I find in front of me), make sure Crystal is not anywhere near me and go out through the backdoor, making myself invisible and disappearing from their party. I would make sure to have fun on my own if I could not have fun at a normal party.

Hopefully, my night would turn out a lot better than it was now.

At first, I just have no idea where to go, this place is really big and finding the right path to go seemed a little difficult, but I just follow my instinct and go through what seemed right to me.

Right now in my current state of mind, it almost seemed like deciding where to get drunk for the night was the most crucial decision of my life and at the moment, I prioritize what seemed to matter the most in my life, getting drunk was the first thing on that list.

I think of every place possible where It would be allowed for me to get drunk by myself with no one noticing me or judging me from afar, but only a few made the list and most of them didn’t make the cut as I thought about it. At the beach, it would make a great plan but it would probably be too dangerous, seeing that I was alone and I didn’t know who wandered around this place so late at night. If I went to my room, I was risking the fact that Crystal stepped in and caught me totally drunk and saying stupid things that could risk this trip.

So while I thought of new places to achieve my ultimate goal and quickly took them out of my list of options, I found myself in the very entrance of the hotel, alone and lost, not knowing where to go and disappointed, even at such an easy thing like getting drunk, I was failing.

I take the elevator. Think about some other option I had, but go blank as soon as the door closes, so I just press the number 3 and forget about whatever plan I had. I failed.

Good thing that this was apparently the fastest elevator ever because it just takes a couple of seconds before the doors are opening in the third floor and I step out of the elevator, committed to get to my room and have a good sleep.

I take my time, take every step and look at every detail in the room as I walk up to my door, because even the hallways of this place were a work of art and I couldn’t just walk past them without taking a good look, everything was so beautifully decorated, it was worth taking a look at.

I look at every painting, ornament, picture on the wall and detailed that it’s placed on this place, and for one reason or another, it’s at this point in the night where I realize I am not completely sober at all and I have just walked my way through the whole hallway without realizing it at all.

I find myself stepping in front of an enormous door, it is giant and oddly enough, I recognize it, because it is not strange to me at all, I have been here before, just a couple of hours ago and I know what is inside, I know I can get in because this is supposed to be a launch reserved for our whole group to hang out whenever we wanted, it was the perfect place, everyone else was on that party, I was the only one out, this is the perfect place to get drunk.

So I get in, as easy as that. Nothing could stop me now, I am going to get drunk out of my mind.

My first thought when stepping in is that I guess everyone else has already been here because I can spot a couple liquor bottles and used glasses around the place, so I was not the only one stepping in this room for the first time. It was obvious though, I don’t know why that catches my attention so much.

It’s a beautiful place though, the whole room is full of decorations themed with tropical ornaments and sea-related things everywhere. The room is just gigantic, with every step I take I feel smaller, every time I look somewhere I spot a new decoration and a new space in the room and I love it more and more every time, this looked just like the kind of place I’d love to get drunk in and I will, because if a party does not work for me, maybe the little mermaid themed room will.

I sit on the giant sofa in the middle of the room, open my bottle and take a drink directly from it not caring at all about how unhygienic it might be, I just wanted one thing I would get to it one way or another. I don’t know exactly what it is, the moment it goes down my throat I can feel it burning and causing some kind of effect on me, it might be vodka or maybe white rum, I can’t tell at all, the label is on another language and I have no idea what I am putting in my body, but I don’t care as long as it does its job I am fine.

I turn around, noticing a sudden cold brisk hitting my body, strangely unexpected and not usual at all. To my surprise, there is a balcony right behind me, it was far behind and I had absolutely no idea it was there, the door was open and through the glass I could catch a glimpse of a beautiful looking beach right there, and to that I just think, this is such a good place for me to get drunk, I could not ask for more right now.

I get up from my place and carrying with me the bottle I brought here, I go outside suddenly wishing to enjoy the view as I let myself sink in all of my crazy thoughts, hopefully, drown in all of them, until I had enough and forget something, maybe enough for me to act like a normal being for the rest of the trip.

With every step I take I confirm that this might be one of the most beautiful views I’ve ever seen and as I get closer to the window, I could see everything, the ocean, the beach, the nature of Island at its fullest, it was just a work of art and I seemed to be more and more attracted to it as I keep looking, until I am right in front of that door and totally hypnotized by this view.

Beautiful, Beautiful Bali.

I almost drop the bottle the second I see a shadow right next to me and it takes me one solid second and a bit of a heart attack to know that (sadly) I am not alone, there is someone else here and apparently had the same plan as me, first. This is awkward.

I look at the other person here in the balcony, it’s a face I don’t recognize at all but I know it's part of the group that came with us, looks like someone who would relate to that group. It’s a guy, an older guy, older than me and possibly older than some of the other guys that were with us; his hair is short and light brown, his skin white, his expression serious and his clothing a little more formal than to be just casual, he must have been in the party with us a while back, but he isn’t anymore, he is just here sitting all alone in the cold of the night. Exactly my plan.

“Hi” I say when I catch a glimpse of his face, making myself noticeable and stepping in the balcony completely. The cold brisk instantly hits on my body, making me shake slightly.

He turns to me, his expression just as serious as it was before and not looking surprised or having a reaction at all, he does not even say hi, it was like he was just blank, he didn’t care about who was in or out, he looked like he just wanted some time alone to think.

Well maybe we could be alone together if that was the case, I needed some time to think to and this looked like a good place.

“and I thought I was the only one who doesn’t feel like partying” I try to say, now standing up straight and doing my best to cover myself from the air hitting my arms “It’s chilly, isn’t it?” I said, walking forward and taking a good look at the ocean in front of me.

It was like I could see the whole beach in front of me, it was beautiful.

“Feels Fine for me” he shrugged in a monotone voice, drinking from the bottle on his hand, I didn’t notice that was there.

I nod, trying my best to catch some warmth from my one body heat and I took a good second to stare at the ocean, it was truly breathtaking, I can see why Crystal likes this place so much.

I lean in the edge of that balcony, once again getting totally hypnotized by the motion of the option and pacific sounds from around, this was truly one of the most beautiful views ever.

“Do I know you?” He asked talking directly to me and completely cutting mine out of my small trance.

I shake my head “I don’t think so” I say, turning to him and giving him a small smile at his lack of emotion, maybe if he couldn’t show up some kind of sympathy, I could do it for him, it might encourage him to do the same. “seems like we had the same idea, though” I say, raising the bottle in my hand and walking up to him, he is looking up at me but not saying a thing, I take a step closer and point to the empty chair by his side “Is this taken?” He looks unsure to what he should say for a small second, looks down at the empty spot beside him and then back at me, his neutral face not leaving his face at any time.

He shrugs, makes a sign for me to suit myself and says “All yours” I smile to him, pulling the chair a little closer to me and mumbling a small “Thanks” as I sat down.

There is a deep silence falling in between us, one that seems natural but also kind of tense, I just hope I was not interrupting anything because, by the look of his face, he seemed to be a little stressed and not wishing for any kind of company. I understand, in a way.

I try my hardest to just pretend that I am alone, but something inside of me is tickling and I feel the need to say something, I haven't talked to a single person tonight and now that someone is here with me, I feel like this is my chance to step up and make at least one friend. He looked like he was completely serious and almost mad, but I think, maybe it’s just his face, It would not be too bad to just start a conversation.

I take a drink, woman up and do it. “People would think because it’s Bali it’d be all hot and stuff” I say awkwardly, looking at him with a small smile and leaning back in my sit “What brings you here? You’re all alone”

He nods, not really answering me at first and letting a big sigh off his lips “Yeah Uh” he hawks, turning to me to face me directly for the first time  “I don’t mind you sitting there, but we don’t need to establish a conversation” he explains, that monotone voice now becoming permanent on him. 

I blink “Excuse me?” “Talking” he simply says, making a motion with his hands, like he was explaining himself to a little kind  “not my thing”

I frown. Now I see why he was totally alone and I think just by instinct and connecting a few dots I can easily figure who he is and why he is here.

I mean, he seems to me the grumpy and moody guy in the group. Just the description I got from the guy who didn’t have enough patience to wait one more hour in an airport.

“Okay” I nod, giving him some space “Fine” I mumble to myself.

I guess I’ll have to pretend to be alone until one of us decided to leave.

I don’t care though because I seemed easily trapped in the beauty that goes around me, I can't help to be immersed in all these and with that, I slowly go back in my own sea of thoughts, remembering moments, thinking about the future, what this whole experience would look like for me, making you crazy theories. Just the kind of things I was hoping to go in as I slowly drank from my poison, this was fun.

I keep myself around those crazy thoughts as I look at my surroundings and let my body relax, but like everything I do in life, I seemed to be interrupted, because just when I reach my maximum point of relaxation, I heard something familiar to my ears that brings me back to reality.

A laugh. I know that laugh, it is right in front of me.

“Oh no” I course under my breath, getting up from my sit and stepping more into the edge of that balcony. My theory is confirmed just after taking a simply look. “Fuck me”

Right there before my eyes, I was witnessing the most romantic and Gross scene I could picture in my mind, because there was Crystal and his new boyfriend, running out the beach and chasing each other, trying to get a hold of one another to then kiss. Just so beautiful and romantic, lucky bastards.

“What?” I heard that guy asking from behind me, totally seeing weirded out by my sudden behaviour.

He could back off, this is none of his damn business.

I wish I could just keep this as a pure mister and let him think I am just this awkward, but you don’t need to be a mind reader to know why I am acting this way, because the moment he looks the same way I am looking, he knows what caught my sight, he only needs to connect a few dots.

“Crystal And Michael?” He asks, looking up at me.

“Hmm” I mumble, wanting to keep it quiet but knowing that he will probably wonder why I am acting this way.

“Okay...” He says awkwardly, getting up from his place to take a good look at what was in front of me.

I just hoped this was not giving me as much of a bad image as I was expecting. “They look happy” I mumble, leaning over the edge of that balcony and resting my chin on top of my hand.

I watch Michael as he chases Crystal and catches her in his arms, lifts her off her feet and throws her body over his shoulder as she yells. Adorable. I can’t help but groan at their cuteness.

I am too drunk to pretend to be okay with it anyway.

“I’m sensing you have a problem with that” He says, taking a big drink of his bottle  “You are Crystal’s friend, right?” he asks me, in a poor attention to catch my attention, but I just nod in answer “And you like Michael?” he asks, but it is more like a statement, my head directly snaps at his direction when he says those words and totally betray myself. He gives me a dry laugh at my foolishness “Wow” he says, shaking his head at his new discovery.

I want to wipe this out, this is supposed to be a secret, so the moment he starts making assumptions for himself, I am instantly shaking my head and saying. “No I don’t” as I look away from the scene, this has been enough to look at for the night.

“Yeah, uh huh, Miss obvious” he says, a cocky tone in his voice “Okay, then if you don’t like it, then I am just going to assume you look at every couple like that”

I gasp, wanting to fight him, but I can’t find anything good enough to say, so I just give up and let my face naturally scrunch up with annoyance.

He has a smile on his face that makes me want to punch him.

“Don’t look at me like that” I groan, moving to take my previous sit  “It’s not something I’m proud of” I admit, looking down at the bottle in my hands “You’re Michael’s friend?” I ask, just as a basic question to know who I am opening up to.

“Yeah” he nods, moving on his feet to get just a little closer to me “known him for a while” I look at him shortly, my face heating up in the process as I look down again and mumble a soft “Nice” even though I don’t mean it.

He moves up to the seat beside me.

“Since when do you like Michael?” He asks me, making himself comfortable.

Wow, if he was not a snoop I don’t know what that was.

“That’s a weird question and it’s making me uncomfortable” I said, glaring at him as I spoke “I thought you weren’t the kind who talks to people” he shrugs, looking completely careless about what he said just a couple minutes ago “Is it weird that I kind of just changed my mind?” He asked, almost like if he was teasing me.

I doubt if I should answer or not. He is Michael’s friend, he could either tell him or go away with valuable information he could use against me at any moment, even when we did not know each other at all, this is kind of personal, I should be aware who I am letting out this information to.

But here’s a fact, I’m kind of too drunk to care. So before I say anything, I just look up at him and ask “Should I trust you?” he shrugs “Maybe”

I stay silent, keep up my best eye contact with him and try to figure if telling him was the right thing to do or not. Maybe I just needed to tell someone about it in order to forget.

He drinks, I drink. A silent path, but I take it, what’s the worst I could happen anyways? “I saw him first” I confess, my cheeks heating up as I let the words out “A summer ago, in LA, I went there for two weeks and I saw him at this pool party thing” I tell the story just like I remember “I thought he was really funny and oddly enough, Something kind of sparked inside of me the first time I saw him” I chuckle “call me weird but it meant something for me”

I feel his attention completely on me as I tell the story and it is almost as he is waiting for me to go on but in reality, there is nothing I can really say more than that because after I meet him nothing really happened, I never did anything, that’s just why I was standing in this crappy position. I just fell in love with the wrong person and now I am paying the consequences

“So you mean, you saw him first and she...” he says, trying to guess something. “I told her I liked him, yes” I Confess, not being sure if I should even be doing this, I do it anyways  “but apparently she never thought I was being serious” I say, laughing in disbelief  “I guess she liked him too” I end, sighing at the sad story of my life.

He does not say anything at first and I just hope he does not think I am being ridiculous with all of this because this is something that really mattered to me even when I could do nothing about it now.

“Wow” he says, blinking at my vision of my friend’s new romance “That’s low” he concludes. I nod, he is kind of right.

“I know” I said, now shrugging “Whatever” no, it was not a Whatever. I get up from my sit, take the biggest drink from my bottle and turn to him, I was done talking about this. “Where’s your girl, anyway? Shouldn’t you be looking over her or something?” I said in pure annoyance, I didn’t feel like having an audience looking me drown on my misery. he shrugs “I’m alone” he confesses, drinking from his bottle too “What made you think I had one?” I shrugged “Well I mean, everyone here seems to have a partner, it’s kind of hard to believe that you don’t”

I was not lying on this, he really looked like the kind of guy that always had to have a girlfriend with him, he was fairly attractive and very social looking, if that was even a thing at all. he laughs “I know that” he says nodding  “Well, since about two weeks ago, I’m alone” Oh man, I guess that is why he is so grumpy.

I smile a little “That makes us too then” I say with a chuckle  “cheers to that” “Cheers” he says right before me and we clinked to top of our bottles “I am Ashton, by the way“ he introduces himself.

“I’m (Y/n)” I say, trying to give him a true smile but I can help but let out a forced one.

He drinks, I drink. Again, a silent pact, except that this time, it was more like an introduction.

I frown at the harsh taste of the liquor in my throat, I think I drank to much this time, but I don’t care, that could only mean I would get drunk faster.

“Why did you come up here?” I ask, trying to be a little bolder and talk about something else. He shrugs, looks down and shakes his head “The party was over for me a while ago” he says “however, I need some liquor in my system” he gets up, walks up to stand by my side and asks “and you?” I press my lips together, find it a little hard to say it, but I do, almost like a confession.

“I was alone” I admit, looking down “there was not much place for me there, it’s fine, I guess” I shrug, shaking my head as if it didn’t matter.

To me it did.

Lucky for me, he did not ask any further questions, he just nods at my answer in understanding. “Alright” he mumbles, looking away from me for a second “So I guess that makes us two loners in this trip” A drunk chuckle comes out of my lips as I said “Correcto”

I decide to just give up and stay where I am, I was kind of planning to walk away and find some other place where I could be alone, but I already confessed part of my feeling to a stranger, I think I have the right to stay in here a little longer, so I sit down on the sit I was in a while ago and suit myself. I just wanted a moment to reflect on all of my crap. “You know what I say?” he said, imitating my actions and sitting right beside me. “Huh?” I ask, wondering what could he possibly be suggesting right now. “Let’s celebrate that” he said in a steady tone, I don’t need a celebration right now  “who needs a partner?” he asks in total sarcasm.

Oddly enough, I agree. “Yeah, who wants that?” I say in total agreement “Love sucks” I say “Exactly” he says, almost too happy when I make my statement  “So I say...” he starts, thinks about it and raises his bottle in the air “to freedom” I smile, chuckle a little at his action and nod “To freedom” I repeat, lift my bottle in the air and clinked them together.

Because if life was deciding to turn it’s back on us, we would not care, we would make out best to find a way, maybe we were the only ones alone in this trip, but that was fine, at least we would be the only ones making the most out of our freedom and attempt to live our lives at its fullest.

Fuck love, we don’t need it, it’s better to be alone anyways.

But is it though?

We drink a long shot out of both of our bottle and I almost felt like throwing up one I took the tip of it out of my lips, it burned but felt so good, it felt like a start to something new.

I look at him, he smiles, there’s a winning look on his face like he felt invincible tonight, and just as he finishes up drinking from his own shot, he breathes out, hisses a little at the feeling of the alcohol in his system and looks at me.

“Freedom tastes great” he says, grabbing the bottle and drinking one more time.

And just like this is how it all turns out different. Who would have thought my night would turn out so differently just like so?.

#ashton irwin imagines #michael clifford imagines #5sos preferences #5sos imagines #5sos smut #5 seconds of summer imagines #5 seconds of summer preferences #5 second of summer imagines #5 second of summer smut #5sos fanfiction #5sos fanfic #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings imagines #5sos blurbs #5sos blurb

[rexscanonwife]

o h geez, ok I guess I’m just doing fucking all of them! xD @poetbfs @empress-of-cornelia @chicken-huggit @targaryenkid @snaggteeth thanks so much for asking! ♡ put under a readmore cause of course it’s a longass post lmao

1) What do you and your f/o(s) do on a rainy day? I love to watch/listen to the rain, so I’d set up my drafting table next to the biggest window and just draw! Engie would be doing his own thing in his workroom but occasionally come out to sit next to me and see what I’ve been drawing, or we’ll both take a break and snuggle up together with hot drinks! ♡

2) Do you have any pet with your f/o(s)? When we met I had a cat named Taffy that he was pretty indifferent to, but we’d eventually have a couple of dogs! and I hc that he grew up around horses and knows how ride and to take care of them so we might even have one of those in the future! It’d be really romantic to just ride together with my arms wrapped around his chest resting my head between his shoulder blades and pressing a kiss to the back of his neck once in a while to make him blush! U w U

3) What was your first date like? It was sweet! We went out for a malt and then to a movie, he seemed really nervous for the first half of the night, but eventually he became more comfortable and we had a really wonderful time. 

4) Has your f/o ever bought/won you something? he’s really thoughtful with the gift-giving thing so usually when he comes across something pretty that reminds him of me he gives it to me, whether it be a flower or a pretty rock (he knows I like those).  

5) Does your f/o ever get flustered by something you do? not to sound conceited but try everything? xD I’m just weak for the idea of engie just being a huge doof around me because he’s just too flustered all the time. A smile, a giggle, something dumb I said, staring at him while he works on something, all these things make his heart race!

6) Have you ever cosplayed with your f/o(s)? absolutely not!

7) What was your first kiss like? it was REALLY awkward, but it was lovely. It was actually at the end of our first date! He walked me home like the gentleman he is and when we got to the door he asked if he could give me a goodnight kiss! > w < His rough hand cupping my cheek, the scratch of his stubble, the slight chappedness of his lips, all of these things so distinctly him became intoxicating. It didn’t last too long, just enough, and we were definitely blushing like kids for the rest of the night haha. 

8) Have you gone on vacation with your f/o(s)? not yet, we’ve both got pretty demanding jobs but it’s definitely something that we’d like to do one day. I’ve always wanted to see Mexico and get in touch with my roots so it would probably be there or someplace in northern calfornia for camping.

9) Would you ever have children with your f/o(s)? oh HELL yes!!! I love kids, and engie strikes me as someone who would want a big family so I decided we’re gonna have at least three kids. Two boys and a girl, I’m still developing them and trying to get their designs down but their names are Clifford (goes by Cliff), Grant, and Lenora (goes by Lenny). 

10) Have you introduced your f/o(s) to your family? my self insert for tf2 doesn’t have any family except for Scout who’s like a brother to me, and he already knows Engie because they work together. In fact we actually might not have met if it weren’t for him. xD I really like the idea that they’re moderately close friends and because Scout is most likely the youngest of the mercs and the most foolish, Engie kinda feels the need to look after him whenever he can. 

11) What is it like to live with your f/o(s)? really cozy! I love him so much, and being able to fall asleep resting my head on his chest and wake up with him every morning is??? the best?? ; w ; He likes to whistle when he’s busy doing something, so I can tell which room he’s in at any given time and I love to just,, come up behind him and wrap him up in my arms and just breathe him in!!! 

12) Do you play any games together? not really! I don’t play all that often and neither does engie.

13) What’s your f/o(s) favorite thing about you? probably my dedication? I would do anything for him because he does so much for me! and if not that then maybe my kindness, I’ve always tried to be as nice as possible to people and I feel like I gel with most as a result! just like how he’s not hard to get along with due to his laid back personality.

14) What’s a normal text conversation between you and your f/o(s)? he doesn’t really like to text so it’d only really be to make simple plans and his responses are typically short and straightforward.

15) When did you realize you were in love with your f/o(s) and vise-versa? for him it was love at first sight, when I introduced myself he was so blushy and he kinda fumbled over his words, it was the cutest thing ever! The more we worked together the more I found myself falling for him too, his demeanor, his intelligence, his passion, his down-to-earthness, everything about him made me fall deeper and deeper!!! ♡ ♡ ♡

16) What was your worst date like? it was probably a time where some merc nonsense interrupted us and caused general chaos afhskajf. fires, property damage, casualties, that kind of thing when we just wanted a nice night out. xD in the end we’d still probably be able to make the most of it tho!

#momo mumbles #ask meme #self insert #self insert talk #country boy i love you #jfgjsfha this took fOREVER TO FINISH ANSWERING #im sorry i was like answering the questions little by little #but seriously thank you all for asking and giving me a chance to talk about him!!!

[xhxhxhx]

one of the more surprising findings in Samuel Lubell’s The Future of American Politics (1952) is that voters for Henry Wallace, the communist-backed independent candidate for the 1948 presidential election, seemed to be motivated by racial anxiety:

The frustrations of the urban frontier, however, fall most heavily on the older residential areas, along the line where expanding Negro settlement pushes in on those unable to rise higher on the social ladder. Along this racial "middle border," where the rainfall of social status is so uncertain, the emotions stirred by the civil rights issue assume their most violent form. Most of the anti-Negro incidents of recent years have occurred in this zone of new Negro residential penetration. Here, also, will be found the boldest experiments in racial relations.

Time will show whether such a zone of political protest actually is taking shape in our cities. An analysis of Henry Wallace's vote, however, shows that his strongest following came in exactly such economically depressed, transitional racial zones.

In February, 1948, something of a national sensation was created by an obscure, young Bronx lawyer, named Leo Isacson. Running for Congress under the Wallace banner, Isacson trounced his Democratic opponent in staunchly Democratic territory by a two to one majority. The incident, which ruined the Florida vacation of Democratic boss Ed Flynn, was generally explained away as a protest against Truman's Palestine policy, the district being about 40 per cent Jewish. What this explanation overlooked was that the East Bronx where Isacson swept to victory—and where Wallace later got one of every five votes cast—is a dying Jewish neighborhood where the chill of being trapped penetrates everywhere.

In 1935 Clifford Odets used the East Bronx as a setting for his Awake and Sing, a tragedy of a Jewish family whose social rise had been cut short by the depression. Then, although it had begun to deteriorate economically, the East Bronx was still fairly homogeneous racially. As late as 1938 its school population was only 3 per cent Negro. Over the next dozen years, though, out of Harlem poured something like 50,000 Negroes and another 75,000 Puerto Ricans. The mold of residential segregation was abruptly smashed, scores of apartment houses becoming mixed in their occupants.

Between 1940 and 1948, the years of the heaviest Negro-Puerto Rican inpouring, juvenile arrests tripled. One housewife I interviewed recalled this period as “a time when we couldn't sleep because of street rows. If we complained to the police, they told us, ‘Madam, we're doing everything we can. We even have orders to shoot to kill.’”

Those who could fled the area. Their flight, in turn, quickened the influx, trapping those who could not flee. In one public school in a single year there was an almost complete turnover of the student body, from predominantly German and Jewish in background to Negro and Puerto Rican. “The principal was ready to throw himself out of the window,” recalled Frank Whalen, the associate superintendent in the area. “We had to put in a new principal and a whole new staff of teachers.”

By 1948 the East Bronx had become an almost perfect example of the new zone of political insurgency developing in our larger cities.

In a day's random interviewing, I could not find a single family which was not desperate to get out of the area. With their wartime savings some could afford higher rentals but at that time no housing was open anywhere in the city. Others would not have been able to move even if housing were available.

One woman, in her late thirties, had moved in with her parents “temporarily” on her marriage fifteen years before. She and her husband were still living with her parents. They had never had a home of their own. “I don't worry about my boy,” she said, “but my daughter is now twelve years old and we must get into a better neighborhood soon.” Later I ran into her husband. He had taken a second job at night, selling dresses, to earn enough to be able to move when housing opened up.

Two other mothers still escorted eleven-year-olds to and from school.

Mention of politics brought angry outbursts: over rising prices—”our living standards are lower now than during the war”—against landlords, about the housing shortage, over Palestine. With one exception all who said they would vote for Wallace added, “if only Eisenhower were running,” indicating clearly their mood was primarily one of political protest. An Irish woman, whose three children attended parochial school, explained, “Everyone in the house voted for Isacson. We probably will vote for Wallace. We're not Communists. We want to give someone else a chance.”

Without realizing it, the Progressives of 1948 were controlled by a wholly new orbit of conflict. Wallace tried to revive the insurgency of the agrarian frontier, but almost all of his vote came from the cities, and primarily from the elements most sensitive to the issue of civil rights.

Of the thirty precincts in the whole country which Wallace carried, nearly all fit the description, laid down in an earlier chapter, of the new zone of protest developing along the urban frontier.

Wallace carried seven precincts in Tampa, Florida, around Ybor City, which are inhabited by “Latins” from Cuba, many of them cigar workers. All five precincts which Wallace carried in Los Angeles are declining Jewish neighborhoods, into which Negroes have begun to move; so are eight of the eighteen precincts in New York City which Wallace won. Of the other ten Wallace precincts in New York, eight are in slum-ridden East Harlem, whose population is a mixture of Negroes, Puerto Ricans and Italians, and where former Congressman Vito Marcantonio has a strong American Labor party machine. The other two are along Bronx Park East, where a workers' co-operative apartment house was built in 1927. Intended as a Communist heaven on this capitalist earth, the project has gone bankrupt twice and is now privately owned.

it might seem strange that voters motivated by racial anxiety would vote for the most racially progressive candidate, but people are strange like that

[nadjaofstatenisland]

The Parent ‘Cap 1x07 - In a Lonely Place

Jughead’s dream is the most Hal/Jughead interaction we’ve ever gotten. Even in dreams, these two can’t have a conversation. Hal can give Jughead a weapon, but he can’t talk to him.

His dream/nightmare being cut with shots of FP drunk in front of the tv is so good. And the Wes Craven reference when Skeet obviously got his first big role in a Wes Craven film.

Jarchie talking in the broom closet about FP and Gladys kills me everytime. This is the Jarchie friendship we deserve.

Hermione bites her lip because she damn well might slap Veronica if she doesn’t.

Jarchie setting their dads back up is the cutest.

“This close to a break in this case.” Tom is so full of shit. He wants Penelope out of his station and a long vacation.

Penelope rolling her eyes at Cheryl and giving her whatever she wants… after threatening to send her away a few days ago. You’re not very good at this parenting thing, Pen. Kids need boundaries and to know your threats aren’t empty. (well, now…)

Skeet in a thermal? Skeet in a thermal? Yeah, Skeet in a thermal.

FP takes to heart “its 5 o’clock somewhere.”

He tries to say something as Jughead leaves and we’ll never know what. Boo.

There is a deleted scene from the woods of Alice and Hal alone and we were fucking robbed of it. Robbed.

Alice and Hal know damn well their pregnant daughter isn’t out frockling in the woods, yet they still go along with this search party. I do appreciate Hal helping inappropriately dressed Alice through the branches and Alice clinging to his arm.

The woods is yet another perfect example of how this maple syrup Cooper/Blossom blood feud has actually just warped into Alice and Penelope not liking each other in high school.

“Sheriff Keller knows it.” “Get me out of this fucking town.”

Clifford “I frame a 17-year-old girl for murder if it gets the heat off of me” Blossom

The Coopers own the only media in town. Who are these people at the press conference? Photographer is obviously the freelancer who takes pictures for The Register. Alice is probably writing the article as they drive home.

You think that, like… the Blossoms would stick around to discuss Polly being pregnant instead of running away.

Coopers creepy attic is everything. Proof that this was Hal’s family home before them because there is no way Alice collected all that clutter.

Alice, you know damn well you need to get your wedding dress preserved. You don’t just let it sit on a hanger in the attic.

I teared up watching FP walk into that trailer.

FP is amazing in this scene. In thirty seconds, he goes from being on is way to having a heart to heart with Fred about being a shitty dad, to trying to intimidate Hermione. I miss this FP so bad. And this Hermione! Where are these guys?

“You remember FP Jones from high school?” “Oh yeah, he stuck a snake on me. Good times.”

Hal is reading a copy of The Riverdale Register. The newspaper he owns and edits. Because they literally couldn’t think of another prop for this scene.

“Best time of my life.” This whole Pops scene makes me cry. FP being nostalgic (his arm slung around Fred the whole time), Fred trying to talk up FP to Jughead, Jughead trying to shake off his dad taking interest in him

Hermione just… stop your daughter. She’s 16. I don’t understand how she’s like… leaving. Put your foot down.

I know he said he didn’t know this, but I feel like Jughead’s heard this story from FP a million times. And like, FP, you totally are a liability. How long ago did this even happen?

Penelope and Clifford look like they’re about to eat Betty. They’re so terrible at pretending to be nice.

“You and Polly are part of the Blossom family now.” We call this foreshadowing.

What kind of lightweight alcoholic is FP? He took a single swig from a flask and he’s drunk.

How many nights had Jughead put a drunk FP to bed? We know Jug lies about school and everything to FP right here. I wonder if he’s lying about talking to Gladys and Jellybean too? I… no. Don’t think like that.

Archie, listen to your father. You really think Fred would toss FP aside all willy nilly?

Again I ask, why didn’t Hermione and Hiram have the “what’s allowed when you’re in jail” talk?

I feel like this Hermione/Veronica plot could have been handled without the club plot.

Tom calling Jughead to the police station still doesn’t make any sense. Nor does a 10-year-old going to juvie.

Penelope in glasses!

Cheryl uncomfortably lying to Penelope is the best they’ve ever gotten along.

Fred lying to the sheriff for Jug because he can’t watch him follow in FP’s footsteps. Kill me now.

It’s odd how over the course of a few months FP and Jughead went from crying drunkenly outside the sheriff’s station to Jughead being totally okay with FP having been the one to help get rid of the drive in.

“Whatever you want, FP. It’s between the two of you.” Break my heart, why don’t you.

FP promises Jughead he’s getting Gladys and Jellybean back and they’ll all be together, because this is a broken man who wants his family back together. (Season 2: Gladys? Jellybean? Whoooo?? Family back together? Whaaa? )

“FP’s got his tricks, I’ve got mine.” Fred is so pure, his tricks are literally setting back the date on a stamp.

“Anything for Alice Cooper’s daughters,” as in, “God, I can’t wait to shove this in Alice’s face one day.”

JASON’S JACKET. WHY IS IT RIGHT THE FUCK THERE FP? Why are you so bad at being subtle?

A few other things

Polly’s wig terrifies me more than Clifford’s whole collection of wigs.

As someone who was never crazy about digest Reggie as a kid, I loved the snippets we got of Ross. I still think he was a better Reggie than Charles. Sorry.

Props for Kevin for being the only kid at the club not being a snob. His dad is the goddamn sheriff and he doesn’t say a peep.

#the parent 'cap #riverdale 1x07 #in a lonely place #riverparents #parentdale #fred andrews #alice cooper #hal cooper #fp jones #tom keller #hermione lodge #penelope blossom #clifford blossom #jughead jones #archie andrews #polly cooper #betty cooper #veronica lodge #kevin keller #cheryl blossom #reggie mantle

[marchmaiden]

Quel che sarà sarà

We had been sitting in the dining room for almost 35 minutes, still stuck on the same topic of where we should go for our annual three week vacation. There’s about twenty of us sitting here trying to debate whether or not we should go to back to Bali this year, or if we should go somewhere new. It was split down the middle. “Guys seriously we need to get this thing squared away like tonight,” Crystal said, silencing everyone. “Ok but like we actually need to decide where we’re going otherwise this is never going to happen,” Kayla added.

We sat in silence for about 10 more minutes, everyone trying to come up with an idea, when all of a sudden Brian shot up in his seat and pointed at me. “Y/N” he said excitedly, “ what if w-,” “NO NO and NO Brian Dales, I know exactly what you are about to suggest, and it’s not happening,” I said affirmatively. “Oh c’monnnnn,” he whined. “Guys, please fill us in, no clue what you’re talking about,” Luke said, sitting confused alongside the others. I sighed and sat up preparing to out myself. “My family owns a massive lakeside home on Lake Cuomo in Italy. It’s right on the lake and has private grounds, a staff and all that fun stuff,” I explained.

Everyone stared at me, wide eyed and mouths dropped. “Dude,” Mitchy started, “we’ve all been friends for four fucking years, how are you JUST now telling us this?” He asks incredulously. “Well it’s not like it was a secret,” I said, “but at the sametime I didn’t exactly want to flaunt my family’s wealth.” “Girl whatchu mean wealth?” Lindsey asks, but Brian beats me to the answer. “How do you guys not know this, her grandparents are the Magedino’s, one of Italy’s most prominent families. Her granddad is one of the most beloved politicians and her grandmother was the first muse for the house of Versace,” he told everyone. Even I had to admit, this was a bit creepy.

“Brian how the fuck did you know all that, I’ve never told you shit about my family?” I asked, stunned. “Uhh I googled you?” he said, shrugging as if it was obvious. “Y/N this is perfect!” Ashton said, a grin on his face. “We should all go to Italy!” “Noooooo,” I detested, “My grandparents are VERY anal about guests who aren’t invited staying in the house,” I told them. “You won’t even try to persuade them?” Mariah asked. Everyone was staring, pleading looks on their faces. I sat for a moment before I finally caved. “Ugh fine,” I proclaimed.”

Everyone cheered excitedly. “It wasn’t a yes guys, I said I’d ASK.” I extenuated. “Oh let us be happy for once, Miss Priss,” Roy teased. I rolled my eyes and leaned back once more, listening to everyone talk about the wonders of Italy.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A week later, I walked through the backdoor of Michael and Crystal’s place, attempting to carry the massive crate of Modelo bottles I had promised to bring. I felt a set of hands brush over mine as they lifted the crate. I looked over the bottles to see the curly haired drummer giving me his signature grin, as he lifted the box from my arms. I let out a sigh at the release of the weight, happy to have it taken off my hands. I smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek, causing him to blush. I let out a slight giggle and he smiled again before taking the box over to the bar on the side of the house.

I was still stuck in my post Ashton haze, that I didn’t hear Bryana calling my name. I suddenly felt a pair of hands shaking my shoulders. “YYYY/NNNNNN,” Bryana said, exaggerating each syllable. I quickly snapped back to the present, glaring at the pretty blonde who now had a smirk on her face. “Someone got lost in Ashton Land,” she teased. “Now is not the time for that Bry, I have news, tell everyone to meet me by the bar,” I said making my way over.

I rushed over and jumped up onto the dark oakwood bartop, swinging my legs impatiently. Everyone came over, wrapped in their towels or still in their clothes. “What’s up kid, did you finally swipe your V-Card?” Michael jokes, causing Crystal to give him a slight punch in the gut, making him wince. She delivered a glare as the others snickered at their friends expense. “Ha ha very funny Clifford, but no that is not why I’m here.” I stopped, pausing for a dramatic effect. “We are officially a go for Italy!!!!” I shouted. Everyone gasped and cheered with excitement. “No way,” Brian said, “how on earth did you get your grandparents to agree?” “It wasn’t easy, but I agreed to come out a week earlier and clean the place up as well as visit them for a few days. They’ll be in Greece during the three weeks we have the house.” I told them.

“I can’t wait this is gonna be AMAZING,” AnneMarie said. “What day are we getting plane tickets for love?” Ashton asked. “Oh! Forgot to mention that, my grandparents are lending us their jet, apparently they’re going to Greece by boat. You guys won’t have to pay for anything except for souvenirs and clothes.” “PRAISE JESUS,” Lindsey shouted making all of us laugh. “Our plane leaves from LAX two weeks from Friday, I’ll text you all the gate and the code to get in,” I told them.

“This is gonna be amazing, unlimited amounts of pizza for three fucking weeks?!” Michael exclaimed, ecstatic at the notion. We sat at the bar for the rest of the night, eagerly planning our trip to Italy, and excited for the adventures to come.

#5sos blurb #5sos imagine #michael clifford #crystal leigh #mariah blueher #annemarie morin #brian dales #mitchy collins #roy english #lindsey demeola #ashton irwin #calum hood #luke hemmings #kayla blasdeill

[gordonwilliamsweb]

Rural Americans in Pharmacy Deserts Hurting for Covid Vaccines

This story also ran on CNN. It can be republished for free.

As the Biden administration accelerates a plan to use pharmacies to distribute covid-19 vaccines, significant areas of the country lack brick-and-mortar pharmacies capable of administering the protective shots.

A recent analysis by the Rural Policy Research Institute found that 111 rural counties, mostly between the Mississippi River and the Rocky Mountains, have no pharmacy that can give the vaccines. That could leave thousands of vulnerable Americans struggling to find vaccines, which in turn threatens to prolong the pandemic in many hard-hit rural regions.

And in those areas without pharmacies, rural residents may have to drive long distances to get shots, and do so twice for two-dose vaccines. An analysis by the University of Pittsburgh School of Pharmacy and the West Health Policy Center found that 89% of Americans live within 5 miles of a pharmacy. But more than 1.6 million people must travel more than 20 miles to the nearest pharmacy, which can mean facing difficult weather and road conditions in remote areas.

“If pharmacies are closed, especially in places where there’s no other health care provider, then you’ve got essentially a health care desert,” said Michael Hogue, president of the American Pharmacists Association. “You have to be dependent on either a mobile clinic coming in from another area to provide vaccines, or the citizens are going to have to drive farther to get a vaccine.”

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So far, with a limited quantity of doses and strict limitations on who is eligible, that hasn’t been a problem. But as vaccination opens up to the general public and supplies of the vaccines increase, local health departments may be overwhelmed with demand and may need to offload the task of vaccinating local residents to other health care providers.

“It’s probably not playing out yet because we’re not getting enough supply,” said Keith Mueller, director of the Rural Policy Research Institute’s Center for Rural Health Policy Analysis. “That means we have some time for those local health departments to figure this out: Who in my radius, if you will, has the capacity to administer vaccines?”

From 2003 to 2018, 1,231 independent rural pharmacies closed, Mueller’s team found, leaving some 630 rural communities with no retail drugstore. The changing economics in the pharmacy industry did them in, a combination of national pharmacy chains expanding and consolidating, big-box stores and supermarkets opening their own competing pharmacies and pharmacy benefit managers eating into small-pharmacy profits. Mail-order options siphoned off business.

And you can’t get vaccines in the mail.

In many towns, those pharmacies represented the last bastion of health care in their communities. Now more than ever, residents are feeling the void.

“We have no medical infrastructure,” said DeAnne Gallegos, a spokesperson for the San Juan County health department in southwestern Colorado. “We don’t even have a doctor.”

With the closest pharmacy located in a neighboring county an hour away in Durango, vaccinations in San Juan County have been handled by the public health director and two nurses. They hold weekly vaccination clinics if they get any doses. As of Feb. 18, the health department had fully vaccinated 298 of its 700 residents.

Counties are allocated doses based on their year-round populations, but the health department hopes to vaccinate out-of-staters who visit as well. San Juan County deals with an influx of tourists and second-home owners coming from states such as Texas, Arizona and Florida, where the pandemic has hit harder and vaccination rates are lagging. So the health department could end up vaccinating more than 200% of San Juan County’s official population to keep covid out.

“Our attitude is, no matter what your driver’s license or your ZIP code says, if you are living within our tightknit community, that is someone we hope the state would allow us to bring into the fold,” Gallegos said.

But that stresses what she called the frail structure the department had in the first place.

“It’s our responsibility to make appointments, manage the data, make contact, receive phone calls,” Gallegos said. “When you don’t have the staff or the budget to hire additional staff, that also makes it very difficult.”

Farther east, Custer County hasn’t had a pharmacy for years. Only recently, a pharmacist who lives in the county but works in an adjacent county an hour away has started delivering prescriptions to Custer residents when she returns home after each shift.

But she can’t bring vaccines home from work.

Instead, a public health nurse who was due to retire at the end of 2020 decided to stay on to vaccinate residents with the help of another nurse and retired health care workers who maintained their licenses. According to Custer County Public Health Agency Director Dr. Clifford Brown, they have vaccinated more than 630 of the county’s 5,200 residents.

In an ideal world, they could have handed off the task to a pharmacy.

“We do feel the pinch,” Brown said. “I wake up about 3 o’clock in the morning thinking about, how in the world are we going to stretch things to cover for this day?”

Pharmacies offer distinct advantages as vaccine providers. Hospitals, which didn’t traditionally vaccinate the general public, have had to create programs to distribute their allocated doses.

In Colorado, pharmacies give over a million flu shots a year, said Emily Zadvorny, executive director of the Colorado Pharmacists Society, and, particularly in smaller towns, have a much closer relationship with their customers than larger health care providers do. She pointed to a pharmacist in Kiowa County, Colorado, who pulled a list of all his customers age 70 and up and called each of them to schedule their covid vaccinations.

“They have so much more capacity than they have supplies,” Zadvorny said. “It’s just a slow process of ramping up.”

Even where pharmacies exist, it’s been a challenge for independent drugstores to participate in the covid vaccine rollout. For influenza, pneumonia or shingles vaccines, stores typically order as many doses as they think they can sell, which get delivered alongside the pills they distribute.

The covid vaccines, on the other hand, are being distributed through a national program that comes with a significant learning curve for pharmacies. The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention partnered with 21 pharmacy chains, including four networks of independent community pharmacies that give smaller drugstores more purchasing power. According to the National Community Pharmacists Association, those four networks include about 8,000 of the 21,000 community pharmacies nationwide. Pharmacies that are not part of those networks can apply to be vaccine providers in their states.

“The biggest hurdle for most pharmacies is just getting approved,” said Kyle Lancaster, pharmacy director for Our Valley Pharmacy, a three-pharmacy chain in rural Lincoln County, Wyoming.

Our Valley applied to federal and state health agencies and had to upgrade its freezers with digital data loggers, which upload the pharmacies’ refrigerator and freezer temperatures and report them directly to the CDC.

Most small pharmacies like his, he said, had been limited to the Moderna vaccine, which has less stringent temperature requirements than Pfizer’s version. The Johnson & Johnson vaccine, which was recently approved, would be even easier for rural pharmacies to handle.

Lancaster said he’s unsure how many doses of the vaccine his chain will get or when.

Those uncertainties leave residents such as Nan Burton, 63, worried about how to get vaccinated. Last year, she and her husband decided to ride out the pandemic in their vacation home in Lincoln County, trading apartment living in Seattle for the wide-open, physically distanced spaces of Star Valley Ranch, about 8 miles from the nearest Our Valley branch. With plans to retire fully next year, now they’re staying for good.

So far, Lincoln County — more than three times the size of Rhode Island — has vaccinated about 2,500 of its nearly 20,000 residents, mainly through the local hospital. But with no major chain pharmacies in the region, the county must wait for independent community pharmacies, such as Our Valley, to get up to speed.

Burton said she and her husband have little choice but to wait and hope that the vaccine distribution logistics are sorted out. They’d be willing to drive hours to get a vaccine if they knew they weren’t taking it away from someone else in need.

“Until there’s some kind of a national push to do outreach to rural communities, I think we’re going to be in trouble,” Burton said.

Kaiser Health News (KHN) is a national health policy news service. It is an editorially independent program of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation which is not affiliated with Kaiser Permanente.

USE OUR CONTENT

This story can be republished for free (details).

Rural Americans in Pharmacy Deserts Hurting for Covid Vaccines published first on https://nootropicspowdersupplier.tumblr.com/

[flirting-with-psychology]

1. What is one thing you will never do again? Go to prom

2. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? Twice as happy

3. What happened the last time you cried? I was feeling like I’ll never have an interesting career

4. What happened the time in your life when you were the most nervous to do something? Probably I was about to ask someone out but I did it anyway

5. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? That I sometimes cut class in college

6. What’s your worst habit? Procrastinating

7. What superpower would you have for one day? Shapeshifting

8. What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on? Kelsier from Mistborn

9. Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world? Not sure

10. What is your most bizarre pet peeve? Mouth sounds

11. Who knows you the best? My parents

12. What after school activities did you do in high school? Marching band, writer’s guild, school musicals

13. What “most likely to” superlative would you be most honored to receive? Most likely win an oscar (not that I would get that)

14. What’s the last book you really loved? A Confusion of Princes

15. What was the greatest television show of all time? Friends

16. What’s been your favorite age so far? 20?

17. If you could go back in time, what is one piece of advice you would give your younger self? Think about a possible career when choosing majors

18. What one thing would you be most disappointed if you never got to experience it? Being “in my prime”: young, hot, and outgoing. I’m a little worried the pandemic is gonna ruin that since I’m already 26

19. Apologize or ask permission? Depends

20. Unlimited love or money? Right now, money. I don’t need everyone to love me, but unlimited money would be really freeing

21. If you knew you would die in one week, what would you do? Not sure. There’s not much I can do right now anyway

22. What’s your most listened to song? Probably something from a musical

23. Beach vacation or European vacation? European vacation 

24. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at? Something creative

25. What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Get an apartment, stop looking for jobs, and then go back to school once the pandemic is done

26. What celebrity would you trade lives with? Maybe Taylor Swift idk

27. If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album? I have no idea, I’m terrible at titles

28. What story do your friends still give you crap about? Walking into a pole when I was looking the wrong direction

29. If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around? Is salt a condiment? If so then salt. If not then maybe garlic aioli

30. What is the ideal number of people to have over on a Friday night? Other than the pandemic? Probably like 3 or 4

31. What was the worst age you’ve been so far? 25 maybe because most of it was in the pandemic

32. What is your weirdest dealbreaker? If he doesn’t give me sarcasm

33. What fictional character reminds you most of yourself? Not sure, there aren’t any that I really think of as being a lot like me other than a couple of traits I can relate to

34. Do you believe in karma? Not really

35. What was your favorite TV show as a kid? Clifford and Arthur when I was little, then the Sweet Life of Zack and Cody when I was a little older

36. What is the weirdest thing you find attractive in a person? Maybe like stocky/dad bod build?

37. What Jeopardy! category would you clear, no problem? Harry Potter

38. What is something you’re superstitious about? Jinxing things if I get excited about it before it’s finalized

39. What is the scariest experience you have ever had? Probably some huge spider

40. Who is a non-politician you wish would run for office? No one, I think political experience is necessary for most of those jobs

41. What cheesey song do you have memorized? Most of Taylor Swift’s songs

42. What one dead person would you most like to have dinner with, if it were possible? F. Scott Fitzgerald

43. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news? probably and I should probably get better at that

44. What is the best present you could ever receive? Right now, a vaccine

45. Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free wifi wherever you go, for the rest of your life? No

46. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were the opposite sex for one day? Pee standing up

47. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? This is probably a dumb answer but my neigborhood has an annual ornament exchange and I really want to get one of the expensive December Diamonds gay mermaid ornaments for it, I think it would be a hit

48. What is the nicest thing someone could say about you? That I’m funny or good to talk to

49. Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view? Giant house

50. What is the weirdest quirk your family has? My dad and I have ongoing competitions for who gets to play their music in the car or who gets the good seat when watching tv

#survey

[mapleblood]

gv: until dawn

Cheryl Blossom was the second twin born to Clifford and Penelope Blossom. The Blossom’s were a wealthy family, one of the wealthiest in towns, and because of such, Cheryl and her twin Jason grew up to be privileged and as some of the parents would’ve said, spoiled. To the outside world, the two red heads got everything they ever asked for. The Blossom’s were a perfect family. But that was just the picture they painted.

In reality, behind closed doors, the Blossom family was a mess. Penelope and Clifford rarely showed any true kind of affection for each other, and they definitely didn’t spare any for their daughter. Instead, Cheryl was pushed aside and told to shut up and look pretty, while they pampered their Golden Boy with every ounce of love they could give. Cheryl recognized the feeling of being unwanted in their house before she could even write - which, being the little genius that she was, was fairly early on in her life. Due to the feeling of unwanted at home, when she started to attend school, she’d made it her job to feel wanted there. 

But the plan backfired. The other kids didn’t really like Cheryl. They pretended to, because of who she was and what that could get for them: good birthday presents, possible vacation invites, possibly never having to pay for their own lunches again. So Cheryl was under the impression she had lots, and lots of friends. Her birth right giving her the status as the most popular girl in school. People flocked to her, to Jason, and she thought that it was because of who she was as a person, not because of the wealth her parents had.

It all came to light around the seventh grade. Twelve year old Cheryl wanted to go about still having their separate birthday parties, but Jason didn’t want to. As always, Penelope and Clifford took their favourite child’s side, and the two Blossom kids had the same party. Everyone came. Things were okay until she over heard a silent admission from one of the parents to the other. ‘I hear that Jason had their parties combined this year because none of the kids wanted to go to Cheryl’s.’ That had been the turning point for her. Neglected at home, and hated at school, Cheryl was left with only one real option: close everyone but her brother off. Her brother, the only one who loved her.

After that day, Cheryl started to be a bit more cruel to people. If they didn’t like her, they would fear her. She began to make her ascend to the title of Cheryl Blossom, Queen Bee. Only, Bee really meant bitch in this situation. Her coldness became wide known. Instead of feeling that hatred when she walked the halls of the school, she felt the fear. Because no one wanted to piss off Cheryl Blossom. But the mere truth of it was, she just couldn’t handle being shown any more hatred to her face. She got enough of it at home.

Things were okay, for awhile. Cheryl had created a cheerleading squad, known as the V squad, she had her little group of girls who would hang around her and say nice things to her face, she had her brother, who would never let her be hurt, and tried to shield her away from the cruelty of the Blossom family. Until she didn’t. 

On one fateful morning,  the body of Jason Blossom washed to shore. While his death was meant to be staged, while he was suppose to escape the bounds of Blossom hatred, even he wasn’t safe in this town. With Jason gone, Cheryl was alone. She had absolutely no one she could turn to. Her parents had drilled the rule that Blossom’s didn’t show weakness so far into her mind that she couldn’t have gone to someone other that her twin even if she did have that person. But she played the part of the grieving sister. She cried for him, and she was told off about it.

The lack of Jason’s presence made things harder for her. At school, and at home. While disgusting and wild rumors spread around the high school, about Cheryl and Jason, and people pointed the finger at her, claiming her to be the murderer, Clifford and Penelope stopped reigning in their cruelty for the sake of their son. Clifford never spoke to her unless they were in public or it was absolutely necessary. He simply brushed her off as if she was invisible, and Penelope took every turn to belittle and degrade her. She had gone as far as to threaten to send her away, but added that nobody would take her, cementing the fact that Cheryl Blossom was utterly, and completely, unwanted. By everyone, everywhere.

When the suggestion for a field trip to a place known for having people go missing or wind up dead surfaced, and the school took it on, there was only one thought in her mind: maybe this will get them to show some concern. They’d already lost one child - maybe they wouldn’t want to lose the second. But her wishes were proven to be useless, the Blossom’s didn’t even bat an eye at her when she told them she was going. They didn’t care.

Despite being terrified and not really wanting to go, she did. She went to prove a point. If something happened to her, maybe they would finally love her.

#( gv; when the hunger calls; until dawn ) #tw depression #tw neglect

[vampir3d]

Thanks for tagging me @suchaverageverywow  !! <3

THE LAST…

1. Drink: Flat Dr. Pepper

2. Phone call: My boyfriend before cos I was checking he wasn’t dead (he wasn’t just ill)

3. Text message: My boyfriend again, this time talking about cheesy garlic bread

4. Song you listened to: Sweat - The All-American Rejects

5. Time you cried: Sunday night because I thought about my Guinea Pig that died a couple of months ago. I’m sad af. But also, I’m adopting this cute fluffy black one hopefully soon!! So I will stop crying.

HAVE YOU EVER…

6. Dated someone twice: This is the second time I’ve ‘dated’ my bf but the first time was very short and we broke it off because of my anxiety issues. We decided to stay friends and get to know each other, before, eventually after a year, we decided we should get back together (because I love him still).

7. Been cheated on: No, thankfully

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: No, actually.

9. Lost someone special: Not unless you count the Guinea Pig from before^^

10. Been depressed: Well everyone feels depressed from time to time but I would not say I am depressed.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I threw up last week but that may not have been the alcohol, I feel, but I dunno it also could have been... I think I ate too much tbh.

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12. Red

13. Pink (though it’s just a lighter shade of red innit)

14. Black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15. Made new friends: Yes, especially my friendo Jasmin I would say, who I’ve made really good friends with this year :))

16. Fallen out of love: No

17. Laughed until you cried: I laugh at everything, yes definitely. My friend fell off her chair today trying to kick the boy in front of her and I nearly cried.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: No...

19. Met someone who changed you: Literally every person tbh

20. Found out who your true friends are: Yes... I already knew but I think it became more prominent and I realised I didn’t have to bother with them as much.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Well yeah, I have my bf on Facebook so...

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Pretty much all, I don’t add internet friends on Facebook. I dunno why, I don’t really use it that much tbh.

23. Do you have any pets: Miso is my fish (his counterpart was called Sushi because I’m hilarious) and I may be adopting a Guinea Pig this weekend which is called Bella!

24. Do you want to change your name: Nah

25. What did you do for your last birthday: Nothing. My best friend tried to throw me a mini surprise party but no one wanted to come :(

26. What time did you wake up: 6:30 kill me, I felt like death.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping

28. Name something you cannot wait for: Summer, I go on holiday for a few weeks and then get to spend the rest of the time asleep or with my boyfriend. Or preferably, both.

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: Twenty minutes ago when I had tea (I’m hiding in my room now)

30. What is the one thing you wish you could change about your life: I suppose the only thing I’d want to do now is be rid of my anxiety... ngl apart from that, stuff is okay. Or you know, become rich.

31. What are you listening to right now: Where The Lines Overlap - Paramore

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: There is a Tom in a few of my classes, he’s okay but v annoying and keeps wondering why he doesn’t get laid (spoiler: it’s because he is annoying)

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: How fucking tired I am and how my bf isn’t here to give me cuddles until I fall asleep ahhh :(

34. Most visited website: At the moment, Youtube, Tumblr and Crunchyroll, is all I use tbh lmao.

35. Elementary: Kinda miss that, I left like 4 years ago now wtf (I presume this is the American version of Primary school?)

36. High School: I’m about to go into the last year and I’m pumped for that. I’ve actually had a good year too.

37. College/university: I wanna go to University hopefully...

38. Hair colour: Blonde naturally and also now dyed 

39. Long or short hair: Medium but I’m gonna get it cut fairly short (on or above my shoulders) soon

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Harry Styles, Michael Clifford, Gerard Way, Cole Sprouse, Dan Howell and Phil Lester, Awsten Knight... and I guess my boyfriend is okay looking too.

41. What do you like about yourself: I just want everyone to be happy and to make people happy :(

42. Piercings: Standard ear lobe

43. Blood type: No idea, I wanna know too 

44. Nickname: Jess(?) or Sugarmuffin if you’re my bf eww

45. Relationship status: In a relationship for the first time. Ever.

46. Zodiac sign: Virgo

47. Pronouns: She/her

48. Favourite TV show: OKAY I’M REALLY STOKED FOR THE SECOND SEASON OF STRANGER THINGS SO I’M GONNA SAY THAT RN.

49. Tattoos: None

50. Right or left hand: Right

FIRST…

51. Surgery: I haven't had any (thankfully?)

52. Piercing: Standard ear lobe was done in the summer of 2013 I think

54. Sport: Swimming probably

55. Vacation: I think we went Menorca when I was very young??? Idk if it was the first but one of the very very first

56. Pair of trainers: Baby trainers I guess, fuck knows

57. Eating: ?? idk

58. Drinking: These questions are confusing is it asking me for the first thing I ever drank? mate, probably my Mother’s milk help

59. I’m about to: Fall asleep probably

60. Listening to: How Do You Feel? - The Maine

61. Waiting for: Death

62. Want: DEATH

63. Get married: Yeah I totally wanna get married

64. Career: I don’t have one and honestly fuck knows what I’m gonna do

YOUR TYPE…

65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs and kisses... OKAY HUGS

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or taller: Someone taLLER PLS. I need to be protected.

68. Older or younger: My bf is younger than me but idc. I’d probably choose older if given the option but it doesn’t really matter.

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach?

71. Sensitive or loud: My bf is both lmao. I prefer it when he is being sensitive though sometimes xx

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship omg

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Both depending on the situation. It’s probably better if they’re more of a troublemaker because I’m not!

HAVE YOU EVER…

74. Kissed a stranger: No!

75. Drank hard liquor: Not hard liquor

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Nope

77. Turned someone down: I had to politely turn down this girl who asked me out because I’m straight :(

78. Sex on first date: Fuck off

79. Broken someone’s heart: No 

80. Had your heart broken: No

81. Been arrested: No

82. Cried when someone died: My Guinea Pig?? does that count??

83. Fallen for a friend: MY BF IS MY BFF NGL YES

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84. Yourself: Her? Fuck no

85. Miracles: Not really... maybe a little

86. Love at first sight: Yes, though it doesn’t always need to happen that way for it to be love

87. Santa Claus: He is real? I’ve met him multiple times

88. Kiss on the first date: Maybe if you know the person well enough beforehand

89. Angels: I’m living proof baby no

OTHER…

90. Current best friend’s name: Sarah

91. Eye colour: Blue 

92. Favourite movie: SO MANY. I’m gonna say Howl’s Moving Castle for now

#answered #<33

[michaels-little-hoe]

thanks to @punk-roquer for tagging me. 
I’m gonna tag: @as-the-sparrow-flies @mrsromangodfrey (if you wanna ofc no pressure)
Nickname: Soso, So & Soph
Height: 5'10
Last Thing I Googled: the desert we'll est st my prom
Fave Music Artist: andy black 
Song Stuck in My Head: leave them all behind by Billy Talent
Last Movie I watched: everything everything 
Last TV Show I Watched: brooklyn 99
What Are You Wearing Right Now: black tank top and sweatpants 
When Did You Create Your blog: may 2015 i think?!
What Kind of Stuff I Blog About: mostly 5sos, shadowhunters and riverdale
Do You Have Any Other Blogs: @a-girl-who-needs-to-take-off
Why Did You Choose Your URL: Noem and I found a matching URL 
Gender: female
Hogwarts House: idk anything about harry potter so 
Pokémon Team: idk
Favorite Color: aqua and burgundy 
Average Hours of Sleep: 5/6
Lucky Number: euhm probably 5 lol
Favorite Characters: Alec and Magnus from Shadowhunters, jake from Brooklyn 99, alex from grey's anatomy
How Many Blankets Do You Sleep With: 3
Dream Job: cardiologist or pediatrician 
A-age: 16
B- Birthplace: alma (quebec)
C-Current time: 11:04 
D-Drink You Had Last: smirnoff ice 
E-Easiest person to talk to: my mom i guess 
F-Favorite Song: euhm good question probably slow hands by Niall horan
G-Grossest memory: idk
H-Horror yes or no: yes
I-In love: Yes but no
J-Jealous of people: nope
K-Killed someone: …no
L-Love at first sight or should I walk past again: what?
M-Middle name: dont have one
N-Number of siblings: 2 bros
O-One wish: love and being loved
P-Person I last called: my dad so he can give me a ride home lol
Q-Question you’re always asked: Nicolas ALWAYS asks me when im working during the week so he can see if we are working together
R-Reason to smile: Michael Clifford is happy
S-Song you last heard: stay by Alessia Cara abd Zedd 
T-Time you woke up: 7:20
U-Underware color: navy blue
V-vacation: Japan
W-Worst Habbit: idk i have a lot
X-X-Ray: my ankle and my knee
Y-Your Favorite Food: gyros (greek meal)
Z-Zodiac sign: virgo

[cheapggdbonsales-blog]

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