#something something the title of the song itself conveys everything you need to know about its meaning. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

straykidsupdate · 3 years

Text

Stray Kids Are Breaking Records, Breaking Eardrums and Breaking Limits (INTERVIEW)

A Stray Kids track a day keeps the stress away. Though one can argue the K-pop group's energetic brand of "noise music" could possibly heighten tension, their bass-bumping, get-the-crowd-jumping songs are encouraging, vital points to Stray Kids' calling: to be the voices of their generation.

As showcased on their fiery 2019 hip-pop hit "MIROH," or 2020's heavy-hitting "God's Menu," Stray Kids — often abbreviated as SKZ — are unrelenting in their journey of self-expression and their determination to push themselves, and their fans, to their full potential. A prime example? Their second studio album, NOEASY, released Aug. 23.

youtube

Source: Pop Crush

The 14-track project, the majority of which was produced by sub-unit 3RACHA (Bang Chan, Changbin and Han), exhibits Stray Kids' ability to bring the noise no matter the tempo. NOEASY starts off strong with five in-your-face tracks that blend EDM and hip-hop elements (lead single "Thunderous," "Cheese," supporting single "Domino," "The View" and "SSICK"), while the later part of the album experiments with different genres and styles, from jazz-pop to rock.

Just three years into their career — they formed in 2018 — members Bang Chan, Lee Know, Changbin, Hyunjin, HAN, Felix, Seungmin and I.N. already carry dozens of award nominations and wins under their belt, and boast chart-topping hits in both physical and digital sales. Even before the release of their second album, the group already set a new record by becoming the first artist under JYP Entertainment to reach 1 million pre-orders.

We recently caught up with the members to talk about NOEASY, the adorable SKZOO version of "Thunderous" and why touring is their first and foremost priority.

youtube

Congratulations on your second album! A studio album takes lots of work, so how does it feel to have this out there in the world now?

Changbin: We really put our everything into preparing this album and we're really confident in it, so I’m really happy that STAY can finally listen to it!

Lee Know: We couldn’t wait to put this out because there are so many really, really good songs on it, so it feels great to finally release this album.

Hyunjin: Somehow a year has already passed, and we’re so thankful to our STAY who have waited for us. The entire album is good, so we hope STAY really enjoy it.

NOEASY has already achieved the title of being the best-selling album in JYP Entertainment in history. Any thoughts on that? What other records would you guys like to break?

Bang Chan: That title was achievable all thanks to STAY! If it weren't for STAY, we wouldn’t have been able to have even gotten this far. Stray Kids are known as “the kids that enjoy breaking things." We break objects, break eardrums and break limits, so breaking another record wouldn’t be so bad. Of course, we’ll need the help from STAY!

I.N: I hope we grow even more with the next album, so much so that people will describe us as artists who are constantly improving.

What were your first impressions of the title track?

HAN: When we listened to the final product, it made me really happy that the track sounded really fresh, the lyrics were very witty and full of spirit and it clearly embodied Stray Kids’ distinct color. I wanted to hurry and work on the performance and share the song with someone!

Felix: The song is really unique and I believe that we were the only team to make it impactful.

Seungmin: One day, upon arriving at home, 3RACHA immediately played the song for me. The moment I heard it, it felt electrifying, and I really wanted it to be a title track. That’s why I voiced a lot of my opinion, too.

3RACHA (Bang Chan, Changbin and Han), you guys have made a name for yourself and were heavily involved in this second album just like past releases. What was it like with this project?

Bang Chan: Just like any other project that we’ve worked on, we just had fun. We experimented with a lot of different styles and tried our best to widen our musical spectrum.

Changbin: We knew there would be a lot of expectations as this would be a full album, so we really put a lot of effort into the process.

HAN: The process was a lot of fun. We’d ask ourselves, “What should we attempt? What should we try next?” And we looked forward to what we’d come up with while working on this album.

How was it different this time?

Bang Chan: The “let’s just have fun” part hasn’t changed at all, but the biggest difference would be the genres of music and the ways we recorded the songs.

Changbin: Perhaps because our second full album is the first album we’re releasing after [television competition] Kingdom, there was a bit of pressure to meet people’s expectations. When pondering what everyone would be expecting of us, we thought they’d definitely be looking forward to something new in true Stray Kids’ fashion. I think that’s the part that we contemplated a lot.

HAN: I think, compared to before, we had a little more fun while working on this album. There was no time crunch, and we worked with the thought of making music that best fits who we are today, so I think the end result came out really well.

What would you say were the key highlights for the album?

Bang Chan: One thing that I hope people will notice is the improvement of all the members’ recording skills. We put a lot of effort into all the songs.

Changbin: The album includes unit songs in which all of our members took part during the creative process.

HAN: I hope people look forward to Stray Kids’ distinct musical color, our wit and how much we’ve matured.

When you guys came up with NOEASY as the title, how did you define it in your own terms?

Bang Chan: This might sound cheesy, but life itself is pretty “no easy." Everyone goes through obstacles, everyone has their own downs and lows, but I feel like it depends on how “noisy” you’re going to be to overcome those hardships.

HAN: NOEASY is trying to convey that things may be hard, but we’re going to break through that difficulty with our sound! I think the best way to explain it is that even if things are tough, as long as we have the sound of Stray Kids and the sound of STAY, we can overcome anything.

youtube

You spoiled your fans with so much pre-release content, which would you say were your favorites and why?

Lee Know: The SKZOO teaser was the most memorable. I would say the cuteness amidst the power was the key point.

Hyunjin: The trailer video was a little embarrassing to film, but after seeing it all come together, it looked so cool that I hope we get to do it again next time!

Seungmin: We worked on unit songs that were included on this album, and the Song Camp teaser videos that showed the creative process behind those unit songs were really good! I think our STAY really enjoyed them, so I hope we can do that type of content again.

About the SKZOO version of the “Thunderous” video: Whose idea was it?

Felix: As we prepared for our comeback, we wanted to impress and entertain our fans with something fun and unique, so we all came to one conclusion which was wearing our costumes for “Thunderous."

Your music has become incredibly encouraging and has touched many STAY around the world. What would you say is your ultimate message as Stray Kids?

Bang Chan: At one point in their lives, people will have a moment where they feel astray from the road that they’ve chosen, and I would like those people to know that they’re not the only ones that feel that way. So, whenever you need someone to keep you company, just know that Stray Kids are here to get you back on track.

You guys pretty much owned 2020 with hit after hit, including “God’s Menu” and “Back Door." How has it been working and releasing music in the midst of the pandemic?

Changbin: There was a lot more time being spent at home, but I didn’t want to waste that time, and instead used it to consistently work on new music. I hope people listen to our songs and gain strength during this challenging time.

Seungmin: To be honest, I was really bummed we couldn’t get to meet our STAY in person, but I think we promoted our album hoping that STAY could feel our love through videos, our music and their hearts even from afar. I’m grateful because I think our sincerity was relayed despite not being able to see each other in person. We spent our time working really hard even in the unseen!

When the pandemic is over and everything’s okay, what’s the first thing you want to do?

Bang Chan: World tour, first priority!

Lee Know: The very first thing I want to do is have a fan meeting with STAY.

Changbin: Definitely an in-person concert.

Hyunjin: I want to go on a world tour to hurry and meet our STAY all over the world and experience new cultures in different countries! I also want to perform for our STAY in-person at Korean music shows.

HAN: A concert! I want to hurry and have a concert so we can vibe with STAY and sing together in the same place. I miss this so much and can’t wait until we can do this again.

Felix: World tour!

Seungmin: I would say the first that comes to mind is a concert with STAY where we can finally greet them and have fun together!

I.N: I want to do a world tour.

Congratulations on your third anniversary! Do you guys have any wishes, individually or as a group?

Bang Chan: Individually, I just wish for everyone to be safe and happy. As a team, I wish that we can reach places that haven’t been reached before with the help from STAY.

Lee Know: I really want to be able to let STAY experience our performances visually and physically in real life as soon as possible.

Changbin: I want to make music and perform as Stray Kids for a long time.

Hyunjin: I’m sad that we can’t right now, but I would really like for this time of coronavirus to pass so we’re able to make many more memories with STAY. I really miss the fan meetings, concerts and world tours.

HAN: I want to mature more and continue growing in my music and just as a person. I would like to make even better music so that I can continue to touch STAY’s hearts and give them joy.

Felix: Individually, I hope to make a lot of memories and give a lot of hope and happiness to the STAY all around the world to the best of my ability. As a team, we really want to go on a world tour to meet our STAY as soon as possible.

Seungmin: I want to show our fans an even more improved version of ourselves. My wish is to show STAY that we’ll never go backwards!

I.N: I would like to continue improving and be described as an artist of consistent growth. I want to become an artist that’s a good influence on people.

What’s something you would like people to know about SKZ if they haven’t given them a chance yet?

Lee Know: We’ve got backbone. Once you fall for us, it’s hard to get out.

Hyunjin: I hope that after listening to our diverse music and watching our extravagant performances, people will notice us a little more.

Anything else you’d like to say? Speak now or forever hold your peace!

HAN: STAY, thank you for always giving us positive energy. We feel bad because it seems like we’re always just on the receiving end, but we’ll work hard to reciprocate what you’ve given to us! We’re always so thankful for you, and we miss you so much. We love you, and please continue to watch over us.

#stray kids #210924 #era: NOEASY #t: article #pop crush

64 notes · View notes

famedroleplayarchive · 3 years

Photo

As promised, here’s an admin update post. This addresses several topics you all probably knew were coming and might have been waiting for the answers on, as well as some other topics, additions, and changes! Please take your time to read this thoroughly, and thanks again for four years of Famed! There’s a lot here, so take your time reading it.

URL change

The main blog’s URL has changed to famedroleplay. Some links are still being updated, but if you notice anything still links back incorrectly after a week or so, please do let me know!

Faceclaims

After hearing out the opinion of everyone who shared theirs regarding banning faceclaims involved in bullying scandals and taking that into consideration, face claims will be banned if they are linked to outside crimes or severe such as sexual assault, molka, or bullying in connection to suicide / suicide attempts. This means the initial ban on actor Kim Jisoo and April members Kim Chaewon, Lee Naeun, Yang Yena, Lee Jinsol, and and ex-member Jeon Somin remain in tact.

Bullying allegations not linked to these outside factors will still be grounds for someone to be allowed to ask to change a faceclaim before their faceclaim change waiting period is up, though, if they are uncomfortable continuing to use a faceclaim because of bullying allegations. If a faceclaim leaves the industry and/or removes themselves from the public eye for the foreseeable future for any reason, they are also still unusable, but this rule was already in place.

As for how this will affect parts of the roleplay other than faceclaims, please see the section further down about Element. Two April songs (”Oh My Mistake!” and “Love Clock”) were previously used for the first season of base’s COLLA3ORATE. These will be retroactively replaced with Elris’s “Jackpot” and “Like I Do” respectively, but if you had a muse involved in “Oh My Mistake” and would prefer to remove them from COLLA3ORATE season one entirely, just message me and they will be removed. I assigned the lines trying to match the positions and line distributions up similarly, but if your muse was involved and you’d like to keep them in “Jackpot” but want to switch to an untaken position, you’re welcome to request that as well. Otherwise, any references to that can simply use those songs instead now.

Element update

Due to the recent allegations involving Somin, a major revamp of Element has had to be conducted. After discussing the situation with the current muns of the group, the past model discography of Element has been replaced using Checkmate, K-Tigers Zero, and Lucky J, and they will be making their final comeback on April 12. After those promotions end, Element will be disbanded and the members will re-debut later in the year in a boy group, Quicksilver, with model groups of Ateez and Treasure and a girl group, Marigold, with model groups of BVNDIT and Melody Day with two new members each. The Element spots have been reopened, but the new positions in the new groups won’t be opened until after Element have finished promoting. This will be a major plotline for the roleplay and Gold Star in particular so expect to see it brought up in schedules and in some articles on the Exclusive blog as the storyline unfolds.

The new debuts in Quicksilver and Marigold will be available on May 13.

Fuse’s model discography update

Thanks to everyone’s suggestions, I was able to find two groups to add to Fuse’s model discography that I felt could align with their sound, direction, storyline, and positions enough to be happy with for now. These groups are Cherry Bullet and Weki Meki. The updated line distribution can be found on Fuse’s page.

There are other groups I’m looking into adding onto the model discographies of, but Fuse was the most urgent, so they’re the only official update I have today!

Canon soloists

Ultimately, after the poll, more people voted to remove canon soloists than to keep them, and they are officially being removed from the roleplay.

Those discographies previously used for the soloists will begin to be open for points claims at midnight/12AM EDT on April 12.

With the removal of canon soloists, the plan is to allow a solo music career to become a more prominent claiming option, and there are plans for some additional claim options to become available in relation to such a career, but those will be added and addressed at a later time.

As for storylines linked to some of the soloists, this is how those will be retconned:

BC Soloist 1: Instead of BC signing and debuting a known Gold Star trainee, BC hired a high profile creative director from Gold Star known from working with Gold Star since their inception and had worked on some of their most defining comebacks and announced she would be taking over as one of the company’s main creative directors. She has since worked on conceptualizing several group’s comeback as well as most heavily on Chroma’s pre-debut project.

Dimensions Soloist 3: Instead of Dimensions buying out a small and brand new company created by a crew of popular music producers with one soloist who they transferred to their label, in early 2020, Dimensions bought out a music production company that was created by a top music production team with several rising producers signed with them and made the producers in-house producers for Dimensions. Since then, the new producers have helped to produce several hit Dimensions songs since.

While Gold Star Soloist 1 no longer exists as an IU stand-in, Gold Star still had an incredibly popular and loved NPC soloist as one of their first artists that helped give their name prominence. At the beginning of 2021, she announced her departure from the agency to create her own label, citing her reasoning as feeling she needed a more focused environment than Gold Star’s growth could provide. There are rumors she was alluding to dissatisfaction with Gold Star’s recent management and gossip that Gold Star was pushing for her to pursue activities in overseas markets she wasn’t interested in.

Anyone who had a feature or MV appearance claim on a soloist can contact me and let me know whether they’d like to just drop the claim (and, if a points claim, recollect those points), keep it as a claim in an unspecified work, or try to replace it with something else. The following muses had claims this applies to:

Features:

Cha Kyonghwa (Kami) (app claim) Kang Sunghee (app claim) Park Jaewon (points claim, 10 points) dropped! Choi Joosung (Sun) (points claim, 10 points) Moon Chaeyeon (Dita) (app claim) Park Duri (points claim, 10 points) kept as unspecified!

MV appearances:

Kim Kyongmin (Alice) (app claim) Ryu Jaein (points claim, 5 points) dropped! Seo Minjung (points claim, 10 points) points reclaimed! Moon Chaeyeon (Dita) (app claim)

Points shop updates

There have been a few updates to the points shop!

Firstly, the nation’s title claim checklist now requires a headcanon on the muse’s image and how it relates to their claims and career to be completed. This is just so I can see a mun’s own intentions for how everything ties in with their image. This headcanon shouldn’t focus on the title itself since that isn’t ever guaranteed for approval, but the muse’s general image as the mun has shaped it. The viral moment requirement for a nation’s title is now also specified to need to relate to the image involved in the desired title.

In the wake of canon soloists being removed, I’m planning on being a little more strict regarding music claims aligning well with positions.This applies to both individual songs and whole discographies. Still, the intent is to be reasonable. Chungha having a rap-like verse in “Bicycle” won’t require someone to have a rap position to claim it since it’s not a lot of the song and she’s not known as a rapper, but I also wouldn’t approve a muse whose most prominent position is main rapper or a main dancer making their entire discography IU releases since IU is primarily a singing-focused artist.

There used to be a rule requiring that muns seek admin approval before claiming songs written by deceased artists, but that rule has now been removed. Keep it respectful, though, please. If any issue arises with muns breaking the fourth wall in relation to these songs to be disrespectful about a real person’s passing, that claim may be revoked and the rule may be reinstated. Songs performed by deceased artists still cannot be claimed.

There’s also a new claim available — a YouTube variety show or talk show. Please see the variety page for examples and more information, but note that this is separate from both a reality show claim. I’ve tried to specify the difference, but if you’re ever unsure which one what you want to claim would fit into, feel free to ask! Both will now be uploaded in-’verse to base’s Youtube Channel. Likewise, there has been a small change so that future radio show claims are now through base Radio, a radio streaming application (think Naver Now).

Company building pages + Pinterest

I’m currently working on pages that give more detail on the layout of the company headquarters. They aren’t quite finished yet, but I have created a Famed Pinterest account for those of you who find more muse visually or who are into visual worldbuilding! One of the sections on the boards there gives a rough idea of company building visuals. There are group concept boards as well, so if you’re struggling to decide where your muse might fit, looking at those might help you if you’re more of a visual person. No one is required to follow it and I won’t be answering messages or anything of the sort there, but I thought it might be a helpful way to visually convey locations and concepts! I’ll make a small post to let everyone know when the pages with in-depth information on the company buildings is available.

Activity rules updates

I mentioned there’d be a few more touch-ups to the activity rules to fill in loopholes that have been around a while, so here they are.

- There is now a formal hiatus request form that must be submitted to request a hiatus. Simply sending the main an IM that you want a hiatus will no longer qualify as a valid request and it will not be processed.

- There will no longer be a week-long grace period after a hiatus ends. You are responsible for being active for the next activity check after your hiatus ends.

- The maximum length of a hiatus is now three weeks (and the minimum one week). The initial hiatus request maximum is still two weeks with one week extensions, but extensions may not be stacked to exceed three weeks total without a passed activity check in between. If you can’t be around for a longer period of time, it might be best to rejoin at a later time when you’re more available! In total, a mun is allotted a maximum of four weeks of hiatus over any twelve week period.

- If a muse reaches three activity warnings in a month, they will be automatically moved to the unfollow list on their third warning instead. If a muse is removed and refollowed three times over the course of six months, they will not be able to be re-followed again and will have to re-apply.

New points opportunity

As of this post going up, muses may now collect one point for every first closed thread with a new muse after it has reached ten posts. This will no longer only apply during events and the ten post requirement is new. Members should be interacting with new muses all the time, not just during events, so it felt right to adjust this accordingly. This applies only to threads started after this post goes up.

Chroma

As schedules have been made quarterly, all remaining Chroma roles will be made available for reserves and applications in at midnight/12AM EDT on April 12.

Suggestions + Feedback

I want to end off this post by reminding everyone that I’m always taking suggestions for events, tasks, etc! I plan on opening an official suggestion submission blog at some point down the line, but I’m happy to take suggestions through the ask box or submit if you have any. I’m also open to feedback as well. If you do send in either of these things, please specify if you’d like a reply from me, since sometimes I might be naturally inclined to keep a message simply giving a suggestion or idea without any questions instead of responding to it.

Thanks for reading this very long update! There are more additions to the roleplay in the works, some I’ve hinted at here and some I’ve not, but I hope Famed’s fifth year is able to be its best one yet!

#fmdadmin #queued post

15 notes · View notes

smalltowndetective · 3 years

Text

Warm Melodies

Sorry that has been taking way too long to get writing out! (I’ve written quite a bit, but I am not happy with it, and I want to mass delete it, but I am trying to resist doing that)

But lo and behold, I get this, and well, that finally broke through my writer’s block

Thank you so much @gloynporslen for requesting this! (You did not know you did, but thank you!) This is such a cute idea, and I had to write it haha!

But without anything further, I hope you like it! :)

Ao3 Link

Title: Warm Melodies

Pairing: Felix and Thea

Words: 1.1k

Notes: Yes, my first fic was also kind of similar to this. But, since I am acting like that does not exist, consider this a rewrite of it :D

“I could if you wanted me to”

The words had had come out lightly, almost a whisper, a linger of hesitance in her words as she moved her head to look at him. The two of them were taking full advantage of the quiet evening at the warehouse, something that seemed to so rarely occur.

Felix continued to sit there with her, the two of them almost tangled together in a mess of limbs, as he gently traced circles with his fingers from the top of shoulder all the way down to her inner wrist. Her skin was always cool to the touch, a great contrast to the warmth of his own.

He gave her a smile, perhaps a smaller one then usual, but it was only more genuine as she continued to look at her, “I would be honored to listen to you play”

A couple of months ago now, he had asked about the piano that was in her apartment, Thea’s Clavinova as she had called it. He knew that she could play, but had never actually heard her do so.

Her face seemed to cover in a rosy blush at that, but he was not sure if that was from the statement or from the way they had become locked in a gaze as if they were the only two people to ever exist.

“I’m not very good”, she stammered, but her eyes never left his, and it made him realize that no one had ever looked at him like that before. As if she could stare at him for eternity, never wanting him to leave. That was something that he had never had before, and he really did not it to ever end.

Don’t sell yourself short”, he grinned, the slightest bit of seriousness entering his voice, “I’m sure you’re amazing”

Thea’s eyes left his for just a moment to look at the piano that had been kept in the corner of the room since the unit had made their home here, the warm flames from the fireplace almost seeming to glow against her skin.

“Okay”, she simply said, giving him a smile, even if it was slightly uncertain. Gently untangling herself, something that Felix almost whined at the lost of, but he watched as she made her way to the piano, sitting down in the bench before turning back to look at him. Feeling as though he was too far away, he moved closer, until he was only about a foot away, watching her with a sense of curiosity.

The piano itself had originally been Nate’s, and while he had liked listening to him play, it never really had a special sort of significance in his mind.

But it was hard to argue that it was not beautifully crafted, the maple wood never failing to look polished as if it was new, even if he had gotten the impression that it was actually quite old. Thea let her long, slender fingers go over the ivory keys, as if it was the most precious thing she had ever handled in the entire world.

Taking a deep breath, as to help calm herself, she finally pressed the keys down enough to make a sound, and started to play.

And while he did not recognize the song, not that he fully thought he would, but he was surprised by just how much it made him feel something. Like a memory, something fond, something that you always went back to think about again, but perhaps having just the hint of bittersweetness of it.

All Felix could do was stand there and drink in the sight of her, as if he would never get the chance to see it again, and this was the last time she would ever be before him.

It almost felt like a memory, even when it was happening before him. A photograph, a moment forever captured in time, able to show all the emotions even after time had passed.

But it was real, realer than anything had ever felt or would. Felix had believed, that after seven years in the human world, he had made himself pretty well acquainted with it, and everything that was a part of it.

That was before Thea. All of sudden, nothing about his surroundings seemed the same. Everything became more intense, from colors to sounds to touch, but God was it sweet. It felt surreal, knowing that he had never felt this way about anyone before, and would likely never feel this way about again.

She looked beautiful, not to say that he did not always look so. But there was something special about the way that her half-lidded ocean blue eyes stared at the keys in light concentration, her long, wavy hair falling around her face.

And as she closed her eyes fully, as it was all memory to her, her long eyelashes resting on her face, he could feel himself holding his breath, as if even the act of breathing might disturb her, a strange action for him.

It was ethereal, and so was she, and he never wanted it to change. She was kinder than anyone he had ever met before, gentleness that he only seemed to find grew the longer that he knew her, full of so much love and with the desire to give it that it took her breathe away.

“Thea”

Felix had been hardly aware that he said her name, almost as caught in a trance, but as he heard the final conclusion of a chord, she looked back at him, gazing at with in quiet anticipation of what he was going to say, but for a few times in his life, he could not think of a word to say.

What could he possibly say to her? The light of his life, someone who was so special to him. How could he say anything that would even make sense in this moment?

With words failing, he moved closer to her, until he was sitting on the piano bench next to her, and she still continued to gaze at him, her eyes bright. Reaching his hand out, he gently pushed aside the curls of hair that always fell in her eyes in an effort to see her face better, before gently cupping her face.

She smiled, leaning into the touch as blush formed on her cheeks, and while the room was now quiet with the absence of the piano, it seemed hardly offensive at all, as Felix leaned even closer to gently taste his lips with hers, before moving his lips to move with hers.

Her eyes closed as she returned the motion, words not needed in the slightest as the two of them seemed to melt into each other, it enough to convey what could have been spoken.

Tags: (It is never an issue to add or remove you, just let me know!) @lilyoffandoms, @lividlyinlove, @sosolenoo, @amlovelies, @solus-reaper, @lady-calypso, @zyneryther, @pearlsandsteel

#the wayhaven chronicles #wayhaven chronicles #twc #detective thea holland #felix hauville #felix x detective #felix x thea #i really need to reblog a prompt list at some point #I have been working on so many series that I really just need to do some oneshot stuff sometimes #But hopefully it all pays off it the end!

22 notes · View notes

onechicago-upsteadrhekker · 4 years

Note

Either 90 or 84 would be perfect for Upstead from that 100 prompts list you reblogged! (:

Hi everyone!

Here’s another prompt! @karihighman also requested #84 and if you’d like to read it, you can click on this. And like I promised, this one is much lighter than that one. So enjoy and let me know what you think! I also got a little carried away and the beginning is kind of random so sorry about that but I hope you like it anyway! #90 is “I brought food.”

*title is taken from a Sleeping at Last song entitled ‘Life’*

my heart reconciled all the darkness and light inside my chest

When Hailey was a little girl she’d never really thought about her future.

She was never one of those girls who played dress up or played with dolls or imagined their wedding day and pretended they were playing house. Maybe that was because she had only older brothers or maybe it was because of her father’s behavior towards her mom.

The only thing she’d known for certain was that she wasn’t going to grow up to be her mother.

She’d known that from an early age. She recognized her mom’s loyalty to her dad; that her mom would never run or go to the police. That her dad abusing her mom was not okay and her mom shouldn’t stand for it or protect him or justify his behavior.

Hailey had promised herself that she would never make the same mistake.

The only things Hailey knew for sure was that she wouldn’t be with someone like her dad, ever. No matter how hard it was. She’d promised herself that she wouldn’t trust so blindly and get sucked into a man who didn’t care about her.

She would be brave and take care of herself first and foremost.

When Hailey got older; old enough to leave the situation that was her mom and dad she knew exactly how she was going to protect herself. And it had come from one Trudy Platt who worked Robbery-Homicide when she was 12 and a gun was shoved in her face.

Watching Trudy Platt be a cop was all she needed to see to make up her mind that that was what she wanted to do as soon as she was old enough. In that one night, she’d felt more at home and at peace in a police station than she ever had before. Even with her brothers who at that point had all pretty much left home.

Hailey had always been a driven person; she’d finished high school at the age of 17, already having a few college credits under her belt. She was accepted into University of Chicago, paid in full through scholarships and a lot of hard work on her part and completed a degree in Criminal Justice all at the age of 22. And then she went straight to the Academy and was well on her way to a successful police career.

That had been her plan. Anything after that, like a personal life or friends or guys, well, that had never been in her plans and it only happened because they had been there and she supposed it was nice as long as it didn’t interfere with her success.

There had been many bumps in the road and a lot of heartbreak she hadn’t been anticipating but she knew how the world worked so really, she shouldn’t have been surprised. But she’d picked herself back up again and went on with her life, continuing to build her life into successful one. One that her parents should have been proud of if she’d told them but she had decided to keep her past life in the past and she preferred it that way.

And then she landed a spot in Intelligence and then there was Jay Halstead.

A brooding pain in her ass at first but then she’d finally started to get him to open up and she realized what a caring and compassionate person he was under his tough exterior and as fate would have it, she fell in love with him.

It hadn’t been planned, just like everything else but Jay was different. He was special and for the first time she began imagining a future. One with a house and a husband and maybe even children.

Someone that loved her and protected her and took care of her and that someone just happened to be in the form of the best partner she’d ever had, both at work and in life.

So, if someone had told Hailey all those years ago when she was a scared little girl listening to her parents scream and throw things that one day she would have an incredibly successful career which she loved and a man who loved her more than life itself, she probably would have laughed.

Her head was killing her and all she wanted was some massive pain killers and her own bed in her own home but she knew that wasn’t going to happen. At least not right at this moment and it was all thanks to her freakishly stubborn partner.

And his dumb brother.

She heard Will slip into her hospital room, his shoes squeaking on the tile floor as he made his way over to her bed. His footfalls sounded like grenades going off and the squeaking wasn’t doing anything to help her still ringing ears.

She groaned, waving the arm that wasn’t currently draped over her eyes to try and convey to Will that she needed more meds ASAP without actually having to use her brain to make words.

“Head still killing you?”

God, why was he talking so loud? She moved her arm a tiny bit to peek up at him through bleary eyes, the dimmed lights still harsh against her weak glare.

His face appeared above her, the red-hair hard to miss even if she was squinting but then he had the audacity to smirk at her and she tried to glare harder but her head freaking hurt.

“Yep, that’s what I thought. I’ll up your dose of pain medication. It’s hospital-grade you know, you wouldn’t have been able to have it if you’d went home.”

She wanted to roll her eyes or give him the finger or something but everything hurt and it wasn’t worth giving him the satisfaction. Honestly, he was almost as bad as Jay except he found more humor out of the situation whereas Jay just worried her to death.

She was starting to gather how much stuff like this affected him. This was the first time she’d been really hurt since joining Intelligence and she knew Jay could be over-protective but he acted like she was dying. She was grateful that he was forced to go home and get himself cleaned up. Up until an hour ago, he had still reeked of smoke and ash, still wearing his dirty clothes and vest because he hadn’t left her side.

She knew that was partly due to the fact she’d been desperate to escape the hospital and hole herself away in her house but seeing as how she had a major concussion along with other scrapes and bruises, she wasn’t going anywhere for at least the night no matter how much she insisted she was fine.

“Feeling any better?” Will’s voice interrupted her thoughts and now that he’d asked, she realized the pounding in her head had been lessened and she couldn’t see the blinding light behind her eyelids anymore.

She took an experimental blink, slowly removing her hand that she’d had clasped over her eyes. The light still seemed a bit harsh but she could tolerate it without pain shooting through her head.

Hailey glanced over to Will who actually had a sympathetic look on his face instead of the smirk he’d worn a few minutes ago, “Yes. Thank you.”

He smiled, “Anytime Hailey. Just don’t go getting blown up any more because I think my brother just might have a stroke,” Will’s eyes softened, “I think you’ve grown on him.”

She smiled fondly at that, “Well, he’s grown on me too and believe you me, I do not have any intentions on getting that close to a homemade bomb again.”

Will patted her arm lightly, making a move to leave the room, “I’ll hold you to it,” He winked, flashing a grin she’d seen Jay grin on rare occasions, “But seriously, you’ve grown on all of us. I’d hate to see anything happen to you.”

Hailey smiled back at him, “Thanks Will.”

“Well, I’ll leave you in some peace and quiet before Jay shows back up, ready to answer your every beck and call.”

She sighed, letting her head roll so she was staring straight at the ceiling before closing her eyes to savor the silence that she was actually starting to hear. She wasn’t sure if it was because she was just getting used to the ringing in her ears or if it was actually fading.

Not that she’d ever show it, but today had been a little too close for comfort. She and Jay had answered a call over the zone. Dispatch had just said there were reports of shots fired, coming from inside a house a few blocks away so they’d gone over there to check things out. They had cleared the house, not finding anyone or anything suspicious so they’d gone back outside and Jay had walked over to speak to neighbor out walking his dog. That’s when Hailey noticed the shed in the back and decided to go have a quick look when everything blew up and she was thrown backwards.

The next few minutes had been hazy. All she could recall was Jay frantically radioing for back up; calling for an ambo and asking for dispatch to roll the bomb squad. And then he was saying her name frantically, telling her to stay awake, to open her eyes but all she could focus on was the pain bombarding her head and the terrible ringing in her ears. She couldn’t even tell if she was hurt anywhere else.

Once she’d gotten situated in the ED and felt like she could talk without throwing up, she’d asked if she could go home and that had really set Jay off. To be honest she hadn’t really payed attention to what he was saying because she really hadn’t felt good but she knew it was along the lines of ‘no way’.

And she knew how lucky she was to come away with only a concussion a few minor burns so she supposed his concern was justified but still. But whatever, she felt like 100 times better since then so she guessed it was a good thing she’d been forced to stay.

There was a soft knock on the door and Jay slipped in, his face full of relief when he saw her awake and somewhat coherent. He lifted up a bag of to-go from her favorite Chinese place, “I brought food.”

She smiled at him as he walked over to sit in the chair beside her bed, “Thanks.”

He sat the bag on the nightstand, his eyes never leaving her face, “How are you feeling? Are you okay?”

Hailey resisted from rolling her eyes as she didn’t want to worsen her headache, “I’m fine, Jay. You can stop worrying. You don’t need too. You don’t even need to be here.”

His eyebrows furrowed, “Of course I need to be here. Where else would I be? You’re my partner.”

Jay rubbed his hands against his jeans, “You’ve been there for me more times than I can already count and it’s time for me to be here for you. Make sure you’re okay. That’s my job.”

Hailey regarded him for minute. She had been through enough with him to know that he was more affected from what happened today and it wasn’t just because she’d gotten hurt.

“Jay, you know this wasn’t your fault, right?” He met his eyes and she could see his hesitation before he nodded. She wasn’t totally convinced but she wasn’t going to push the issue, at least not at the moment.

She caught his eyes with her gaze and she knew there was more than he wanted to let on but Hailey had always been very perceptive, especially where Jay was involved because he was her partner too and she had a job too.

Besides, she cared about him. They’d already been through enough to know that there was a quiet affection between them.

“This is about the actual bomb, isn’t it?” The way his eyes flicked to hers in slight surprise told her all she needed to know, “Brought back memories?”

At his sharp nod, she sighed, “You know you can talk to me about it. Anything at all. I’m here to listen.”

He gave her a feeble smile, “Thanks, I really do appreciate it Hailey, it’s just seeing you there, hurt.” He took a breath and looked away, “It just reminded me of my times overseas and I wondered if I was about loose another friend to an explosive.”

“I’m okay Jay. I promise. I’m right here,” She wasn’t sure what else to say. She couldn’t imagine what he’d seen and gone through in Afghanistan but she wanted him to know that she was there for him, no matter what.

It took him a few seconds but he nodded, “I know.”

“And you’re still going to therapy, right?” She prompted even though she knew full well he was because she was monitoring his status by periodically checking in with him.

He smiled at her then, a little shy, “Yeah, I am.” They held each others gazes for a second before he cleared his throat, shaking his head in slight exasperation, “What am I doing? Why are we talking about me when it’s you in a hospital bed?”

She laughed lightly. Yes, her head was still pounding and her whole body hurt but she’d wanted to make sure Jay was alright.

Her eyes were soft, “I’m just watching your back, Jay. You’re my partner and,” She gave him a small smile, “You’re my friend.”

Jay was quiet for a moment before reaching a hand out to squeeze hers, “Right back at you and now it’s time for me to take care of you.” He pulled out some Lo Mein, winking at her as he handed the container to her, “So food. Couldn’t let my best partner eat the crappy cafeteria food.”

She wasn’t sure if he’d even realized what he’d said or if he even meant to say it and she wasn’t going to bring it up but her heart swelled at hearing that he thought she was his best partner because that’s how she felt too. They were good together and they had this pull, something between them that she’d never felt before and she knew he felt it too.

He sat for a long time, well into the night, even after she’d fallen asleep. They’d kept the discussion to a minimum because of her head but she couldn’t help but quietly laugh when Jay had regaled her with some stories of Intelligence before she’d joined while they ate.

The rest of the evening was spent in a comfortable silence as she listened to Jay breathe where he sat in the chair beside her bed going over reports and it was the first time that she truly felt like she’d have Jay Halstead in her life for a long time in some capacity.

And that thought made her very content.

Hailey was extremely content. She couldn’t begin to describe how happy and fulfilled she felt and she never wanted this moment to end.

She heard the hospital door open softly and Jay appeared wearing a bears hoodie and sweatpants, a small duffel bag thrown over his shoulder.

“I brought food,” His voice was soft as he held up the bag of Chinese in his hand. Dropping the duffel, he approached the bed, pressing a kiss to Hailey’s forehead as he put the to-go bag on the nightstand.

Hailey smiled at him lazily, the warm weight on her chest calming as she took in a deep breath. She hummed quietly, “Thank you.”

She nodded to the bag of food, “You know, I was just thinking about that time I got hurt. The first time I had to stay overnight in the hospital since joining Intelligence because of that bomb,” She suppressed a smile, “You brought me Chinese then too.”

“A lot has changed between now and then and for once we aren’t in the hospital because of an injury,” He nodded to the baby curled up on Hailey’s bare chest, her left hand patting the newborn’s back giving Jay a good look at her wedding and engagement rings.

She grinned, planting a gentle kiss to the baby’s head, reaching out for Jay’s hand. He squeezed it, settling down on the edge of her bed as they both gazed at the sleeping baby.

“She’s so beautiful,” Jay reached out to stroke her tiny back, his thumb brushing the baby’s exposed neck. He’d never felt skin so soft. He looked at Hailey, love and awe and pride shining in his eyes, “Just like her mother.”

Jay stood up, Hailey’s gaze following him. He leaned over to kiss her on the lips, deep and passionate, drawing away when they ran out of breath.

Hailey’s opened her eyes, raising her brows as her lips ticked up into a pleasantly surprised smile, “What was that for?”

Jay gave her another quick kiss, pushing her hair lovingly behind her ear. He gazed into her eyes, his own lips ticking up into a happy grin, “Just showing my appreciation to my hot, bad ass wife who just gave birth to our daughter.”

Hailey rolled her eyes, smirking as she adjusted the blanket covering her and the infant, “If you keep talking like that we might just have another one of these sooner than expected.”

Jay looked a little concerned at that, eyeing the baby carefully, “Yeah, maybe I should figure out how to take care of this one first.”

Hailey sighed in exasperation, “Jay, we talked about this. You’re gonna be a great father,” She gave him a fond look, “You already are.”

He still didn’t look to convinced and Hailey was amazed at how he could go from being so confident and flirty to being unsure about himself but they’d had conversations about this leading up to the baby’s birth so she wasn’t too surprised. She knew she would just have to convince him otherwise because she knew he was going to be a great dad. She’d seen how he acted around kids, how good he was with them when they worked with children in their jobs.

She wouldn’t have had kids with him if she wasn’t sure. Or even fell in love with him. It was his qualities, the ones she fell in love with, that would make him such a great father.

Jay took a breath, rubbing the back of his neck before dropping his arm, “Well, I’m going to do my absolute best, I promise you that,” He got serious again, looking into her eyes, “I’m gonna do everything in my power to keep both of you safe and happy for as long as I live and I’ll always be here for you and Ellie. I love you so much.”

Hailey cupped his cheek, stroking her thumb across his cheekbone, “I know. I love you too.” She reached up to give him another quick kiss before drawing back to maneuver the baby sprawled out on her chest.

“Hey,” She glanced at Jay before turning her attention back to the baby, “Could you go get that swaddle in the bag I packed for Ellie?”

Ellie started fussing as Hailey withdrew her from the warm cocoon of her mother’s chest and soft blankets to lay her on the brown swaddle Jay was laying out on the bed in front of her.

“I know, I know, sweet girl,” Hailey soothed as she quickly wrapped the baby up, placing her on her shoulder to calm her down some, patting her back gently, “Shhh, I’ve got you. Mama’s got you.”

When the baby calmed down, she peeked a glance at Jay who looked a little terrified and she had to smother a laugh. Of course, it was a baby that would be Jay Halstead’s biggest fear. A man who was a Chicago police officer and a war vet.

Hailey gave him a look and he swallowed, starting to look more confident as the baby quieted down. He took a breath and moved closer to the bed, “I can hold her while you eat if you want.”

Hailey suppressed a grin. That a boy.

“Yeah, that would be helpful,” She lifted the baby from her shoulder, one hand supporting her neck and the other her bottom and Jay’s hands very carefully replaced hers.

Hailey leaned back, adjusting her own clothes to cover her chest a little more while she watched Jay with loving smile, her heart bursting with love at the two of them.

He settled the baby in the crook of his arm, cradling her close to his chest and over his heart. He was murmuring something to the newborn, bouncing some as he walked slowly towards the large window, looking down to the busy Chicago streets below.

Hailey watched as Jay’s shoulders slowly relaxed and she knew he was getting lost in the wonder of their daughter’s little face just as she had, forgetting all about his fears of being a father. Tears pricked her eyes as he bent his head to brush a kiss on top of her head.

She could watch them for forever and never get tired.

So, yeah. She’d never thought about a future till she met Jay Halstead but here she was. Sitting in a hospital bed, sore and exhausted from giving birth but so filled with joy, the best future she could ever imagine--never imagined--standing right in front of her.

The End!!

It got a little long and drawn out so I apologize for that. When I started on this prompt I had this vague idea of Hailey in the hospital and Jay bringing her some food and this what it turned into, so go figure... I had like two stories going on with an epic intro that I have no idea where it came from. I hope you enjoyed it regardless and I did want to say that I do have longer stories planned about life events such as the birth of a child and such for upstead and I will be uploading them on AO3 sometime in the future whenever I get said stories written. I just have to do certain stories first because I like revealing names in a special way... I know it sounds stupid but usually when I love a ship, I make up their kids names with like serious thought and I have had upstead kid names for quite a while now. And I also like to pretend all my stories are in the same universe if you will so I like things kind of being chronological if that makes since HOWEVER, I decided that Dancing in the Minefields is kind of an AU situation because I had a plan with upstead’s first kid and the way I’m writing Dancing in the Minefields wouldn’t be the way Jay finds out about said kid. Okay, I know I’m probably making no sense and no one probably cares that much but I can assure you I will explain how each story fits into my ‘Universe’ when I publish them even though no one probably really cares except me.

Anyway, sorry for that super long author’s note and the repetitiveness of it but I am finally feeling better and in the mood to write some upstead fics and hopefully finish the one-shots I’ve been working on, finish a couple of chapters on Dancing in the Minefields so I can publish a new chapter for you guys this Wednesday as well as keep working on the prompts I have received!

Thank you so much for reading this prompt and I would love to hear what you thought about it!!

#Chicago PD #jay halstead #hailey upton #jay halstead x hailey upton #upstead #upstead fic #prompt

210 notes · View notes

waywardfangirl · 3 years

Text

Both @captain-aralias and @palimpsessed did really nice posts to share their fics from this year as well as their thoughts on what they wrote, and I enjoyed reading their posts (and their fics!) so much that I thought I would take them up on their open invitation to do one too! I’m a big believer in keeping lists of your accomplishments to look at on days when self-doubt creeps in, so I encourage anyone else who might be interested to do this too! (All the questions are copied from @captain-aralias)

List of Completed Fics this year:

I wrote ten fics this year, as well as starting a ton of WIPs, which is amazing to me, considering I have only written fic once before in my life!

Slow - General, 3k

We’re Not in Genovia Anymore - Teen, 28k

Promises - General, 3k

A Privilege to Love You - Teen, 7k

Early Riser - General, >1k

Write This Down - General, 3k

As You Wish - Teen, 13k

The View from the Veranda - General, 4k

Down By The Sea - General, 2k

Just Want You to Know Who I Am - General, 1k (written in 2020, posted in 2021)

Total: 10 fics, 67k words, 100% Snowbaz

Pretty good for what is truly the first year that I have been an active participant in fandom!

Questions answered below the cut.

Best/worst title?

A Privilege to Love You is my favorite title, because I think the line is just so sweet, and it makes my heart melt.

We’re Not in Genovia Anymore is definitely my worst title, because that was just the placeholder name I gave the WIP, but then I got so used to it I forgot to change it to something better before posting. I still cringe a bit at that one.

Best/worst summary?

l am horrifically indecisive, so I have a few summaries that I like. Just Want You To Know Who I Am is short and sweet, and I think it conveys exactly what I want it to:

Baz is fine. He's fine. Everything is fine. (It just isn't.)

~A fic about being loved in all the little ways~

But I also really liked the quotes I pulled for The View from the Veranda, As You Wish, and A Privilege to Love You.

Early Riser also has a summary that I let break my heart:

Baz wakes up early now, even though Simon doesn’t.

I does very little to convey what the fic is about, but after reading the fic it hurts like I wanted it to, sooo.....

I think that Promises has the worst summary though:

Inspired by the song "Promises" from the musical Hadestown.

Simon and Baz have spent the last three years working on themselves and on their relationship. Now it's time for their next step together.

Best/worst first line?

Baz says it best to open The View from the Veranda:

I am not a man accustomed to enduring want.

However, Simon deserves an honorable mention for starting us off right in As You Wish:

Baz is such a prick.

As for worst opening lines, I don’t really think I have any. I have some that stand better as an opening paragraph than an opening line, but I place a lot of importance on the first line of a story, so I like to make sure all mine are strong.

Best/worst last line?

I am not going to spoil any last lines for anyone (I cover up the last page of books when I read to reveal it slowly, word by word, so I take last lines seriously!), but I will say that As You Wish has an adorably predictable last line that I love.

For worst last line, I have to say Slow. I liked the line itself when I wrote it, but then I learned later that people were interpreting it in a more steamy way than what I had intended, and because I feel like Slow is such an innocent fic and really highlights how important it is for Simon to not be rushed into every decision he makes, I don’t like that it sounds like he and Baz rushed into something else. (I just meant that they talked and maybe kissed a bit! That’s it!)

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

On December 31st, 2019, I was pet sitting when I came across a prompt for a Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement Snowbaz AU. I impulsively started to write, even though I had only written one other fic in my life (Check, Please!), and I had never written Snowbaz before. I kind of thought that maybe I would write one fic and that would be all, and that maybe one fic is all I would ever write, but I am so happy to have been wrong about that! I wrote way more than I could have predicted, and I even did NaNoWriMo! (I failed NaNoWriMo too, and I’m okay with that, because I want writing to be something I do for fun, not something that stresses me out.)

As a fun side note, Carry On is a fandom that I have returned to many times in my life, and it seems to have a special place on New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day for me. I was given Fangirl as a Christmas present, and started reading it on New Year’s Eve, only to finish it and realize that the new year had arrived while I was engrossed in the book. I have spent multiple New Year’s Eves since engrossed in a reread of the book, or reading fic, and so it feels really fitting that I got into properly writing fic for Carry On as the year turned over.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

Literally all of this was unexpected, as I never planned on writing any more fic, but I think I am most surprised to have written multiple songfics. I never read many songfics, and didn’t often care for them, but I wrote Promises off of the song from Hadestown, Write This Down off of George Strait’s song, and then Just Want You to Know Who I Am because Caity got the Goo Goo Dolls stuck in my head.

What’s your favourite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

My favorite might actually be my most popular, so I’ll go with my close second favorites (it’s a tie)

A Privilege to Love You is a soulmate au, and those are my favorite things ever. I also received some of the best feedback on this one, and I feel like I did a lot of things that worked really well in this fic.

The View from the Veranda is just so wonderful for me though, it combines my love of history with absolute silliness for a friend (I love you Liz!!!), @krisrix did some INCREDIBLE art for it, and I just had so much fun writing it.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

As You Wish was the most popular, hands down, with more hits, kudos, comments, and bookmarks than any other fic I wrote. It’s also the fic of mine that I reread the most, because it makes me so happy and I love all the silly moments.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

We’re Not in Genovia Anymore is probably the answer here. This isn’t entirely backed up by metrics, since it does have more hits and kudos than some of my other fics, but for how long it is and the work that went into it, I think it only got a portion of the attention I was hoping it would. That’s mostly my fault though! It was the first fic I wrote for this fandom, and so I have definitely grown as a write since! Additionally, while I feel like it has a lot of great moments and fantastic lines, I have some lackluster bits too, and it really suffered from not having a beta (I was too shy to ask anyone back then). It’s also an AU of a movie that isn’t as widely viewed as I previously thought, so that didn’t help either, and as I already said, this fic could have a much better title.

All that aside though, the people who have read and talked to me about this fic have really seemed to like it, so I’m glad that I did right by my fellow Princess Diaries 2 fans! (and all of the wonderful people who read it and commented nice things having never seen the movie, y’all rock!)

Story that could have been better?

Everything I wrote before asking someone to beta. I just talked about what I would improve in We’re Not In Genovia Anymore, but Promises could use some work too. Having a few wonderful friends help me edit my fics has really improved what I post!

Sexiest story?

Oh gosh, I am not someone who writes sexy things.

Having said that, The View from the Veranda was written in the style of a bodice ripper, so I think that makes it the sexiest story by default. Kris’s art also enhances its sex appeal by at least 200% (I laughed out loud when I was making the list at the start of this post, because I had entirely forgotten that fic is rated G - honestly, that tells you everything you need to know about me, my romance novel fic can be read by children haha) (I might give it a T rating at some point, just because I feel like it should have that)

**I just remembered the bonus chapter for As You Wish.... that might be the sexiest thing I’ve written haha 🤣

Saddest story?

Early Riser - I am a big believer in giving everyone who deserves it a happy ending, but this one is just an interlude of sadness and depression without any resolution in sight.

(If you read it though, please know that in my head they do get therapy and things do get better! Snowbaz always has a happy ending in my fics, even if I don’t write it out fully)

Most fun?

As You Wish - this one to me feels like the happy chaos of running and sliding around a big house in stocking feet, and I don’t have a better way to describe it than that. There’s a tiny bit of angst from Baz, and a little bit of panic from Simon, but I was smiling and having so much fun while writing this fic, and I really think it comes across.

Story with single sweetest moment?

A Privilege to Love You - I’ll let you decide which of the many sweet moments is actually the sweetest ❤

Hardest story to write?

Promises, no question about it. I had written two fics by that point, and people had been so nice, and some of you lovely folks had even started tagging me in WIP Wednesday posts and in Six Sentence Sunday posts, but I felt like I had no inspiration left and I kept worrying that I wouldn’t be able to write again. So, I forced myself to write something, and it felt like pulling teeth (and it honestly wasn’t very good), but I gifted it to the person who had been my biggest cheerleader and who had tagged me a million times, and that’s how @foolofabookwyrm and I became friends. Writing the fic sucked, but her friendship is worth it, a million times over 💜💜💜

Easiest/most fun story to write?

The View from the Veranda. I’m a historian, and I work a lot with primary sources and spend time speaking with others in 18th century language, so once I got into my “work mindset” the words just flowed. This was also a silly, happy story for me, because I included a lot of jokes for Liz, and there are a ton of details that are just hilarious if you work at the same place I do (sorry that none of you do, but let me just tell you, the descriptions of Simon are all based off of my most attractive colleague, and at least 15% of this fic is silly quotes from work). I think this was only supposed to be about a thousand words long, and I messaged Kris multiple times while writing just to tell him that it was getting out of control and I couldn’t stop writing 😂

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

Writing for Agatha in We’re Not in Genovia Anymore really made realize how much some of her (canon) story resounded with me, and I liked the deeper character study I ended up doing for her. I’m still always going to be the most in love with Baz, but I have a deeper connection to Agatha now too.

Most overdue story?

It’s still overdue. I have so many WIPs, at least seven of which are soulmate AUs, and I just keep starting more. In terms of actual planned release date though? I started writing a The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue AU for NaNoWriMo, with the intention of publishing it in January. It’s already the longest fic I’ve ever written, and I don’t think I’m even a quarter of the way done with it. I wasn’t happy writing for NaNo, because I don’t do well with creativity on a deadline, and I chose to pause work on that fic so I can actually enjoy writing it and end up with something I like once I finally return to it. Apologies to those who are anxiously awaiting the fic, I do hope to finish it this year, and I won’t post until it’s all done, so you’ll get a very rapid update schedule when it does come out!

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I signed up for my first fandom event! I participated in the Secret Snowflake event, and wrote Down By The Sea for the wonderful @fight-surrender (and ended up with ideas for some other new fics too)! Even though I was actively failing NaNoWriMo when I signed up, I did manage to complete my fic on time, and I learned that it wasn’t quite as daunting as I was expecting it to be. (My biggest problem was my laptop breaking and having to do almost everything on my phone - I also learned once again just how amazing Liz is, as she helped me format and post to ao3, since I couldn’t do that properly without a computer)

I struggle with being creative on a deadline, but wanting to write a little over 1k in a month was much more achievable than feeling stressed about writing 50k in a month!

This year’s theme and the story that demonstrates it most:

I like the idea of the inevitability of love. I adore soulmate AUs, because I love the idea of a universe where not only does someone have a perfectly matched other person, but that there is a surefire way to find them. Even though I only published one soulmate AU this year, I feel like every time I write Snowbaz I am writing about a couple where love will, inevitably, win. In my mind they are always going to have a happy ending somewhere down the line where they are just purely in love. Even though love doesn’t magically fix everything, it’s still incredibly powerful, and I only want to create stories where Simon and Baz truly love each other.

Of course, with that as the theme, A Privilege to Love You has to be the fic that best demonstrates the idea of inevitable love - it’s a soulmate AU and a universe where Simon exercises his free will.

What are your fic writing goals for next year this year?

Finish and publish my Gentleman’s Guide AU

Finish and publish more soulmate AUs (I have so many WIPs you guys)

Plan more before writing

Work on improving dynamic scenes and the overall flow of my fics - I sometimes feel like I have too many lulls, and I want to write in a more engaging way

Promote my own work more! I am partially doing this post because there are multiple fics that I never shared on here! I plan to make banners for all of the fics I write this year, and to post them on tumblr at the same time I upload them to ao3.

The last few years have been a time of tremendous personal growth for me, and I really feel like I’m starting to understand who I am as a person, settle into myself, and like who I am. I’m thrilled to discover that fandom is still part of who I am and what I enjoy, and that I have more creative outlets in my life now than I ever expected to. My biggest goal is just to keep building on all of that, to use fic to explore who I am, to reflect what I like, make myself happy with my writing, and to hopefully make at least a few of you happy with my stories too!

#2020 fics #my writing #about me #year in review #fic masterpost #fanfic year in review #my fic #snowbaz #carry on

19 notes · View notes

slashingdisneypasta · 4 years

Text

Male!Villain x Reader || Playlist Fanfic

Title: Twisted Intimacy

Duration: 65 mins. | | These songs are all availably on Spotify. |

What is this? : I’m telling a fanfiction through songs! This way, we can really put ourselves in the story without all my blabber and feel things that only music can convey. I hope its easy to follow, and you like it! ^^ I hope to make a female villain one and one with a masculine reader voice at some point, too.

Plot: This is a very basic Villain x Reader story where the reader tries to move on from villain and be with a good person, but of course the heart wants what the heart wants and if the heart wants the sexy bad guy there isn't much you can do to stop it! ... right?

Thank You | Amy Diamond |: You were in a relationship with Villain, but you’ve finally gathered the courage to leave him and that is exactly what you’re doing. You think you wont miss him.

~ I'm out, I'm closing a chapter

~ Thank you for all that you've done for me Now I know what real love is supposed to be Can't waste my time, so goodbye my baby, baby, baby Thank you

You'll Be Back | Jonathon Groff, Hamilton |: Villain is far more aware of his feelings for you, then you are of your feelings for him, and is deluded into thinking that you'll come right back to him.

~ You'll be back, soon you'll see You'll remember you belong to me You'll be back, time will tell You'll remember that I served you well

~ You say our love is draining and you can't go on You'll be the one complaining when I am gone And no, don't change the subject 'Cause you're my favourite subject My sweet, submissive subject

She's Got A Boyfriend Now | Boys Like Girls |: Our Villain is taken on an ego crushing trip to the ground when he realises you really have found someone new. Someone good, who you like. Who you got together with and dated normally, instead of the cat and mouse game that Villain played with you.

~ Wish that I could turn this car around But she's got a boyfriend now

~ Maybe I thought I could sneak in And sweep her off her feet and go right back to Boston Thinking everything's goin' be alright

~ But she’s got a boyfriend now

Boyfriend | Lou Bega |: Villain doesn’t like your boyfriend at all! No, no.

~ I love everything about you girl Don't you understand? I love you from head to toe, girl But I hate your boyfriend

~ He's a fake, ain't no man Not even able to count to ten

~ So come on girl, choose your joy: You can pick me or your little boy

SOS | Rihanna |: You reflect on your physical, sort of more animalistic need for Villain (Especially in regards to comparing him to your new guy)

~ S.O.S., please someone help me It's not healthy for me to feel this Y.O.U. are making this hard I can't take it, see it don't feel right

~ This time, please someone come and rescue me 'Cause you on my mind, it's got me losing it I'm lost, you got me lookin' for the rest of me Love is testing me, but still I'm losing it

According To You | Orianthi |: You start to realise that all the things that your New Guy doesn’t like about you, the Villain loved. Loves, in fact. Present tense. You wonder whether that’s okay. You get upset. You take a break from new guy.

~ According to you I'm difficult Hard to please Forever changing my mind I'm a mess in a dress ~ But according to him I'm beautiful Incredible He can't get me out of his head

Fuck Away The Pain | Divide The Day |: Aha... ya’ll know what this mean...

~ Fuck away the pain, erase him from your brain Fake it like you love me, Come on baby touch me

Right Kind Of Wrong | LeAnn Rimes |: It’s not only physical now. You know you've fallen again for Villain, but you know, you shouldn't.

~ Say my name and I can't fight it anymore Oh I know, I should go

~ Loving you isn't really something I should do Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you That I should try to be strong But baby you're the right kind of wrong

I Didn't Just Kiss Her | Jen Foster |: Villain is having a bad time, now. It wasn’t just a kiss, it wasn’t even just a night. Not for him, and he knows not for you either. It was more than that. But you're going back to your new guy, now. You're denying it was any more then a night of weakness, and it hurts him. He wants to hurt you, back, and that want manifests itself into vulgarity and honesty.

~ She likes to think she didn't invite it But these scratches aren't because she tried to fight it

~ I don't know what the problem is Why she gotta try so hard to keep it all a secret

~ She's gonna go back to her boyfriend now Before the questions come up She's gonna tell 'em I'm stalking her round the clock Like I'm making the story up

Love The Way You Lie | Eminem, Rihanna |: You and Villain fight, because he knows how you feel it too and you know how you feel it, but you're still trying to run away. You’ve always indulged in mutually toxic fights, its the reason you left, and it’s awful. But the connection between the two of you is undeniable.

~ Now I know we said things, did things That we didn't mean and we fall back into the same patterns Same routine, but your temper's just as bad, as mine is You're the same as me, when it comes to love, you're just as blinded Baby please come back, it wasn't you Baby it was me, maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems Maybe that's what happens When a tornado meets a volcano All I know is I love you too much, to walk away now

The Way I Loved You | Taylor Swift |: Just after the fight you’re on your own again. You’ve cooled down, and you think more about the differences between your love for Villain, and your love for the New Guy.

~ He respects my space and never makes me wait And he calls exactly when he says he will He's close to my mother Talks business with my father He's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable

~ But I miss screamin' and fightin' And kissin' in the rain And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name You're so in love that you act insane And that's the way I loved you

History | Olivia Holt |: You're ready to break up properly, for good, with your new guy. Because you aren’t ready for a relationship like he wants. He's lovely, and despite your differences, he's good. But it’s clear you haven’t moved on from Villain and they're still there. Hanging over your heart like a raincloud and it’s not fair to new guy for you to stay with him.

~ Sorry, I don't really see this workin' out It's nothin' you did I just can't do this right now

~ Baby, you're so perfect But he's the perfect one for me I know that you're worth it But somethin' 'bout him gets to me Gets to me, all I need Plus, we got history

I Am Always Gonna Love You | Jon McLaughlin |: This is your new guy apologising to you, asking for your forgiveness, and asking for you back. Saying he loves you, he really does. And he asks you to marry him. You say yes. (There is a sort of sad tone to it, because he knows you love Villain as well- he just wants you to know how well he would treat you, if you let him, in comparison to how Villain would and has.)

~ I'm going to love you til my dying day I'll be beside you when you're old and grey Just like the feelings that I feel right now I'm never going to go away

~ From the picture perfect moments That I never want to end To the couch and tv kind of afternoons You're a light that's always shining And there's a million reasons why I know that I am always going to love you

Marry Me (Guy) | Thomas Rhett |: Villain at your wedding. Tense on the ‘Ain’t gonna marry me’ and not ‘Don’t wanna marry me’. Because he knows you want him, you just aren't going to.

~ So I'm in my black suit, black tie, hiding out in the back Doing a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees Yeah, she gonna get married But she ain't gonna marry me

Marry Me (Girl) | Elle Mears |: You at your wedding.

~ I’ve got on my dress now, welcoming the guests now I could try to find him, get it off my chest now ~ He’s the one I wanna marry But he don’t wanna marry me

So Close | Jon McLaughlin |: You share a dance with Villain at your wedding, and theirs a drowning amount of pining for each other. Gentle, happy tones as well though because you're happy with each other.

~ You're in my arms And all the world is calm

~ A life goes by Romantic dreams must die So I bid my goodbye

~ So close to reaching That famous happy end Almost believing This one's not pretend And now you're beside me And look how far we've come So far we are, so close

Bleeding Love | Leona Lewis |: Something has snapped. You're suddenly ready to be with Villain. You don’t want to marry your new guy- you want Villain. So, you leave the wedding with him, and you know people will think you're insane and maybe you are but all you know is that the way they make you feel? It’s a good kind of pain.

~ But nothings greater, than the rush that comes with your embrace And in this world of loneliness, I see your face Yet everyone around me, thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

~ But I don't care what they say I'm in love with you They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth My heart's crippled by the vein, that I keep on closing You cut me open and I

Chains | Tina Arena |: Ending song.

~ I'm in chains I pretend I can always leave Free to go whenever I please But then the sound of my desperate calls Echo off these dungeon walls I've crossed the line from mad to sane A thousand times and back again I love you baby

#Playlist Fanfic #Villain x Reader #Villainous Playlist #Playlist #Disney Villains x Reader #Horror Villains x Reader #Gotham x Reader #Night At the Museum Villains x Reader #Creepypasta x Reader #Slender Brothers x Reader

92 notes · View notes

frozenmikan · 4 years

Text

We’ll make sure to keep our activities going, to tell everyone about how Aqours is doing, about where Aqours is from - Inami Anju, Aida Rikako, and Saito Shuka’s unwavering resolve

First years interview: https://aikyan.dyreatic.moe/post/624225195452940288/before-a-new-departurekobayashi-aika-takatsuki

Third years interview: https://ganbaramen.tumblr.com/post/625147563563204608/their-intention-is-always-to-be-by-your-side-the

If I gave up, Chika-chan would stop growing too

Love Live! Sunshine!!’s school idol group, Aqours, has just celebrated its 5th anniversary. The “Aqours 5th Anniversary Jimo Ai! Take Me Higher Project”, which includes the franchise’s first dome tour, has also been announced.

Inami: I expected quite a few big things to happen, since it is our 5th anniversary. But even I was surprised at how huge the entire thing turned out to be.

Saito: There really is quite a lot happening, huh?

Aida: We have Aqours CLUB 2020 too, and…

Saito: There are so many things happening that I can’t wrap my head around them!

Inami: Since the phrase “Jimo Ai” is in the title itself, it’d be nice if I could shout out to everyone that we’ve come all the way from Numazu, loud and clear!

What did you think of “Fantastic Departure”, the theme song of the dome tour, when you first heard it?

youtube

Aida: I feel like our songs have gotten more and more mature over the years.

Saito: Yeah, totally! It feels like our songs are growing alongside us.

Aida: Yeah, they’re songs from a genre that Aqours could never touch in the past.

Inami: It does seem like the melody was written to conform to current trends.

Aida: You’re right, it does sound pretty stylish. It also makes you want to dance to the beat.

Inami: As an artist, I feel like we’ve managed to establish exactly what it means to be Aqours. Of course, that includes the lyrics too!

Aida: You can just feel Hata Aki-san in every phrase!

Inami: Yeah, yeah! Especially the “dolphin” and “whale” lines.

Saito: Having words related to the ocean in the lyrics makes it feel really Aqours-like. I think it’s pretty interesting how there’s a gap between the mature-sounding melody and the lyrics.

How was the recording?

Inami: It was really tough…!

Aida: If I focus too much on singing in my character voice, my sense of rhythm goes haywire!

Inami: Yeah, that! When I first heard “Fantastic Departure!”, the first thing I worried about was how I’d sing it!

Aida: Our songs started becoming really difficult around “Jump up HIGH!”.

Saito: No matter the song, the first thing I think about is how You-chan would sing it, but you’re right, it was quite difficult at the start.

Inami: So what do you do?

Saito: I just sing the entire thing as You-chan.

Aida: For me, I let my character voice out when I can, and pay more attention to the rhythm when I need to. That leads to the up-and-downs in my voice, I guess?

Inami: For me, I try singing it once with my own voice, paying attention to the syllables I’d stress. This expands my horizons and gives me more ideas. After that, I try to think of even more ideas as Chika-chan, and that makes my singing more expressive, I guess?

Aida: I think it’s amazing how Chika-chan sounds like Chika-chan whenever she sings.

Inami: I’m so glad to hear that! I’m sure all of us feel the same way, but if there was something I couldn’t do and I gave up on it without trying, Chika-chan would stop growing too. Because I feel very strongly about not wanting to stop Chika-chan from growing and developing, I challenge myself and do my best in everything I do.

Everyone in Aqours is the type to just go for it instead of worrying about it

How about the coupling song, “Aqours Pirate Desire”?

Aida: The lyrics certainly are very forceful. Our lyrics used to be things like “Got it!” and “Heave-ho!” after all, so they’ve definitely have gotten a lot more forceful compared to back then. There’s that, and how the pitch has become really low. It’s almost a full octave lower, so I was certainly a little flustered at the start.

Saito: The first thing I thought after hearing it was, “It’s so low!”

Inami: Yeah, I was like, “Dang, this is gonna be a tough one” (laughs).

Saito: I couldn’t help but wonder whether You-chan would be able to do it. That’s why I asked them to let me listen to my own singing over and over again during the recording.

The song’s atmosphere gives off the impression of a rather wild Aqours.

Inami: You’re right. It’s the first time we’ve had “pirates” as the theme of a song, after all.

Saito: They told us to go all out with the coolness during the recording!

Aida: It is a rather cool song, after all.

Inami: Maybe it’d be nice for Aqours to appear on stage while showing off our cool side. Up until now, we’ve always had a refreshing, cheerful, or straightforward look, so I think it’d be pretty fun to show off Aqours’ unyielding and firm side too.

Aida: The atmosphere Aqours gives off has changed quite a bit too, huh?

Inami: Yeah. Personally, I want to show off even more different sides of Aqours!

Tell us about your favorite parts of each song.

Aida: I like how the lyrics of “Fantastic Departure!” tells a story of us not knowing what’s in store for us in the future. But after seeing many, many things on our way here, we still want to continue discovering what’s ahead of us, and that there are still places for us to go. That made me really happy, and they’re all phrases I really love.

Inami: I’m really glad that the lyrics strongly convey how Aqours will keep pushing forward while also giving off the feeling that this is a new start for us. For “Aqours Pirates Desire”, I like the phrases like “Snatch it for ourselves!”, phrases that Aqours has never really had before. What about you, You-chan (Saito-san)?

Saito: I guess I like the lyrics in the chorus of “Aqours Pirates Desire”. I feel like it really gives off the feeling that Aqours will do anything, that we want to be given the opportunity to do anything and everything.

Inami: All nine of us are the type of people to just go for it rather than worrying about it, and maybe that personality of ours got through to Hata-san as well. For “Aqours Pirates Desire”, I find the part where we say we’ll “sail the seven seas” and “go beyond even that” interesting. We don’t usually end our sentences so forcefully too, and the word “crossbones” really packs a punch… The song is just packed with the new Aqours.

Saito: Though Riko-chan’s a part of Guilty Kiss, so I guess she’s already used to the “crossbones” part.

Aida: I wonder… Though you have to admit that there’s something about how all nine of us can now perform a song like “Aqours Pirate Desire” together, and not just as our subunits.

Inami: Yeah. Most of the Aqours members already like cool songs, and that’s being put to good use here. Maybe we’ll be able to go even further with this concept now that we’ve sung this song, and that gets me really excited.

Aida: It’s quite interesting how although the song is quite stylish, it still feels undoubtedly like a “Love Live!” song when the nine of us sing it.

The entire arena dyed in orange: “Memories never fade”

This January, you performed at Love Live! Fest together with μ’s and the Nijigasaki School Idol Club, breaking the walls between the franchise’s groups. What left the deepest impression on you at Love Live! Fest?

Aida: Can I talk about something that happened when we were off-stage? It’s got to be μ’s “Snow halation”.

Inami & Saito: That really was something!

Inami: We were waiting on the ship for our turn to perform, and because we just enjoy ourselves fully once we’re on stage, the wait before we go on stage leaves the strongest impression on us.

Saito: Yeah, that. The peak of our emotions happened when we were waiting. At that moment, I just felt really glad that I was part of Aqours.

Aida: Seeing the arena glow orange during μ’s “Snow halation” made me realize that memories truly never fade. It’d be nice if we could make the people watching one of our lives feel the same way one day.

Inami: Maybe this dome tour is our first step to achieving that. I’m also really glad that we’ve become capable of considering “sometime in the future”.

Any memories of your own performance during Love Live! Fest?

Inami: When we appeared on stage on our ship, I was really thankful that we were here as Aqours. When I first heard that we’d be appearing on the ship, we talked it out and agreed that we wanted to dance. We acutely felt the meaning behind us having to live up to the animation, as well as the power the nine of us have together, so we wanted to put that in our dance on stage.

After our performance, what we saw from the ship felt really special, and that made me really glad that we performed on the ship. Realizing that made me emotional once again.

How about you, Aida-san, Saito-san?

Aida: We were the opening act for both days, kicking the performance off with “Mitaiken Horizon”. That left a very deep impression.

Saito: Love Live! Fest was our first time performing “Mitaiken Horizon”. Also, it had been quite some time since our last concert, so I was really nervous.

Inami: I knew that I’d be frustrated if we didn’t manage to capture the attention of the people in the audience who were seeing us for the first time. I really gave it my all to make sure that we fulfilled the role of being the opening act and passing the baton on to the next performers.

How were the performances by the members of the Nijigasaki School Idol Club? They even put on some solo performances, right?

Inami: It’s really amazing how they performed on stage alone!

Aida: Fest was right after their 1st Live (Love Live! Nijigasaki School Idol Club First Live “with You”) too. Adding on to that, they even performed on the same stage as μ’s did. So that’s quite something.

Saito: If that were me back when I first debuted, I’d probably be terrified.

Aida: Yeah. Just having the courage to perform solo on that stage is already really amazing.

Inami: Amidst an audience that’s focused on them, and only them, I could tell that they really wanted to dye the entire venue in each and every one of their colors. That was just really emotional.

“We’ve started communicating with just our eyes”: The second years are the balancers

After five years, do you feel like you’ve grown?

Saito: I guess I now know how to look better in photos?

Inami: That’s really important!

Saito: I used to look terrible in photos! But now, I realize that I'm at the point where if I spot the camera cranes during a concert, I'll be like “C'MON LOOK OVER HERE" (laughs).

Inami: I used to be bad with photos too… I really wish I could change my artist photo I took way back then.

Saito: Yeah! Seeing that photo being used for some TV performance just makes me want to scream: “Just change it already!”

Inami: Exactly. Also, I used to be a very negative person, but I’ve definitely become overwhelmingly more positive over the years. Chika-chan is cheerful no matter what, and nothing can break her. She has so many ideas that it’s almost funny, and she still influences me to this day!

Chika-chan is so positive that sometimes I wonder whether she even knows the meaning of the phrase “giving up”. She’s been pulling me along, in a good way. Even now, I still have a lot to learn from her actions.

Aida: For me, it’s definitely my stamina. I really had no stamina at the start. I think I was the worst among everyone in Aqours. Especially during our 1st Live (Love Live! Sunshine!! Aqours First LoveLive! ~Step! ZERO to ONE~), I’d lose my breath halfway through a song, and just singing my solo part was pure suffering.

But I could feel myself slowly becoming more fit, day by day. There are still times when I feel like it’s too much, but it doesn’t show on my face anymore, so I guess I’ve grown in that regard.

Inami: Yeah, I get you! I’m really glad that I can now perform “Kimi no Kokoro wa Kagayaiteru kai?” with a smile on my face the entire time (laughs).

Saito: “KimiKoko” is still pretty tough, even now…

Aida: Other than that, I feel like I’ve changed in lots of ways, so many that I can’t even begin to count.

Inami: During these five years as Aqours, every one of us has managed to take on and overcome different challenges, so I think about how much we’ve grown almost every day.

What do you think about the bond between the second years?

Aida: If we’re talking about the anime, the bond between the second years really solidified around “Aye-aye, My Friend” (episode 11 of the first season of the anime). I feel like after that, we took on the role of watching over the other year groups, with You-chan and Riko-chan supporting Chika-chan together.

Inami: And Chika-chan just throws her everything at anything she’s doing.

If I were to talk about myself, I’ve become much better at grasping Chika-chan’s emotions during our concerts. I’ve become able to find joy and perform songs alongside both of them with a smile on my face, even though they used to be songs where just singing and dancing took all my effort and concentration. I guess that’s when I feel the bond between us.

Aida: For me, because I know that their dances will definitely be perfect, I feel like I have no choice but to keep up with them.

Saito: Our songs as the second years are really energetic, so that shows how close we are.

What’s something that you’d never lose at versus the other year groups?

Inami: How we can be both playful and serious at the same time! That’s something I love about us too.

Saito: When push comes to shove, we’ll definitely get things done, but when we joke around, we go all out too.

Inami: Yup. We’ll mostly be fine, no matter what happens. We’re able to follow up on absolutely anything.

Aida: That’s also because of how much we trust each other.

Saito: We’ve started communicating by our gazes alone a lot more recently, right?

Inami: We can tell what the others are thinking just by looking at their eyes.

Aida: Working together as a year group feels really reassuring, in a different way from when we’re together as nine or in our subunits.

Inami: Even without talking it out, we’ll end up saying, “OK, we’ll give it a try, we’re fine!”. That’s why it’s really easy to be with this group.

Saito: The three of us as a group are pretty balanced, huh?

Inami: Yeah. Because the three of us often have to keep the conversation going during MCs and such, we have quite a lot in common. When my mind is completely occupied with reading the script in front of me, the two of them will follow up or respond to what I say with something appropriate. That’s something I can really count on, so I get to enjoy myself during livestreams and such with them around!

That, and our sense of time is pretty similar. Just when I start thinking that our MC segment during a concert has gotten a bit too long, and that now’s a good time to wrap things up, Riko-chan (Aida-san) will wrap up the conversation, and so on...

Aida: That’s something I tend to do… I’m the type to want to move on to the next thing right away. That, and to stop the first years from going on any longer (laughs).

Inami: It’s clear-cut, easy to understand, and interesting. I really like that part of you (laughs). You-chan is really good at following up when I pass the baton to her, so I can throw a topic at her without worrying too much. That’s why I feel like we’re balanced as a group. No matter what happens, our energy levels are just right, and I think that’s one of the second years’ strong points.

Be proud of the fact that you made our dome tour possible!

There’s still some time before we get the full details, but is there anything in particular that you’d like to do for your dome tour?

Aida: We’ve ridden on a ship and a steam locomotive, so I wonder what’s next.

Inami: If we’re going with the lyrics, it’s going to be a whale next. How about whales in our member colors?

Saito: I feel like people will just wonder what we’re riding on (laughs).

Aida: I guess I want to try all kinds of things without being constrained by what we’ve done up until now. Since being able to do a dome tour isn’t a given, I’d like to reflect on the fact that we’ve been given the chance to do this and leave no regrets behind.

Inami: Aside from our numbered lives, we’ve also been given the opportunity to perform an Asia tour and fan meetings. And now we have a country-wide dome tour; I think that’s really amazing. That’s why I’d like this tour to be one where we enchant everyone with Aqours’ radiance.

Saito: I wanna mess around during a concert…

Inami: Yeah, I do want to play around with some of the songs. Of course, there are songs with the choreography set in stone, so we’ll show that off when we can, and mess around when we can.

Aida: It’d be nice if the concert were something like a festival.

Inami: Yeah! I want the tour to be one that’d get everyone’s heart pumping, one that’ll make everyone in the audience realize their love for Aqours and the songs we perform!

Is there anything you’d like to be able to do by the time the dome tour starts?

Inami: There are quite a few songs that we haven’t performed yet, right?

Aida: I think there’s more than ten of them. Like “Bouken Type A, B, C!!”, “KOKORO Magic ‘A to Z’”, and “Dance with Minotaurus”.

Saito: Yeah! I can’t wait for “Dance with Minotaurus”.

Aida: That, and some more new songs, right?

Saito: The Aqours CLUB song too.

Inami: …Wow (laughs). They’re all songs with different styles and genres too, right?

Saito: Yeah. Especially the tour’s theme song.

Aida: The bridge seems pretty tough too.

Inami: Err… As soon as we can perform our new songs, I hope we can have fun while performing them! (laughs)

I’m sure your fans are looking forward to the 5th anniversary project too.

Saito: I was actually pretty surprised myself. We definitely only managed to make a dome tour happen thanks to everyone supporting us.

I’m really excited that we’ll be able to perform at huge venues, but I’ll make sure to not forget my roots too. To do that, I’m already thinking about re-watching the first and second seasons of the anime, as well as the movie before the tour kicks off. So, I hope everyone reading does the same too! Also, do watch over Aqours, who’ve surely leveled up since our 5th anniversary!

Aida: I never expected to be able to put on such a large-scale concert for our 5th anniversary. It's definitely thanks to all the fans who have been supporting us all this time that we're being given the opportunity to do this.

I think all of our fans should be proud of themselves because they’re the ones who brought Aqours all the way here to our dome tour. I hope to make this tour one where I get to express my gratitude to everyone, and I look forward to your support!

Inami: I hope even more people get to know about “Love Live! Sunshine!!” and Aqours through this interview, and I’d be glad if we left an impression on you. Aqours is in the process of challenging ourselves in all kinds of directions, and I think there are still many words and songs we can bring to everyone.

Although we already have an anime and a movie, personally, I want to start writing a new story with the nine of us in Aqours! With that desire in my heart, in order to tell everyone about how Aqours is doing, and about where Aqours lives, I’ll make sure to keep our activities going. I’d be grateful if you’d come along to witness Aqours’ world for yourself, and I’ll do my best to gain your support from now on as well!

What are the charm points of each of the second years?

Inami Anju -> Aida Rikako

Aqours is a group of voice actresses, actresses, singers, and many more, so all of us had different levels of experience when we first started out. Riko-chan (Aida-san) was never constrained by any of those roles, and she has a very clear idea of what she wants to do as “Aida Rikako”. I thought she seemed rather mature.

What’s more, Riko-chan really loves acting, and I myself love acting too. As we attended more recordings together, we gained the ability to throw all kinds of different lines at each other.

Throughout these five years, I think the person I’ve always talked with the most about “what I should do for Aqours” is Riko-chan. No matter what I talk to her about, she’ll definitely reply with a message or some idea that’s uniquely hers. What she says is very encouraging. We’ve been pouring out our love for acting and our characters together this entire time, so I think she’s the person I can open my heart to most easily.

Inami Anju -> Saito Shuka

You-chan (Saito-san) is very friendly, and since she’s the closest to me in age, from the very start our relationship was somewhat similar to that of childhood friends—just like our characters. Although she’s friendly, she knows where to draw the line, and she’s the type to take the feelings of the people around her into consideration without realizing it.

She never lets it show, but she’s really responsible. She’s really serious, and I believe she was given the leapfrog (in “Kimi no Kokoro wa Kagayaiteru kai?”) and the center position for the 2nd single, “Koi ni Naritai AQUARIUM”, because she always challenges herself to do her best.

All three of us second years are serious, and we’re all balancers, so we just grew closer naturally without needing to work ourselves up over it too much. In the end, I usually have the responsibility of wrapping the conversation up. But both of them always watch over me by my side, to share in that burden of mine. There are things that I’d only share with the two of them, and all three of us have worries that only the other two understand. But, even if we don’t put them explicitly into words, we somehow can understand each other, and our emotions resonate with one another. So, I really appreciate and trust both of them.

Aida Rikako -> Inami Anju

When Aqours was first formed, Anchan was still a teenager, but she was the perfect leader from the very start. She really has her life together, and she has no weaknesses whatsoever. I was actually quite worried for her at the start… To me, it looked as if she constantly had a huge weight on her shoulders. But, at some point, it looked like the weight was lifted off her shoulders, and she became better at depending on the people around her. So, I think she managed to strike a good balance.

That, and she cares the most about the other Aqours members. She’ll be the first to come to our rescue no matter what happens, and she’ll be the first to notice and follow up if someone is feeling down. She’s really mature and dependable, despite being three years younger than me (laughs). When we’re performing together, I feel like I can leave everything to her, and our performances only manage to happen because of her.

Aida Rikako -> Saito Shuka

She’s so capable that you wouldn’t think that she’s the youngest. She’s been hard-working ever since our 1st Live, and the professional attitude of the other two second years is something I really need to push myself to keep up with.

Shuka will never let her exhaustion show on her face; she’s always smiling. She’s usually the mood maker, the energetic one in the group, but she actually pays a lot of attention to her surroundings. She’s also a kind girl who’s capable of noticing the subtle changes in the facial expressions of the people around her.

Saito Shuka -> Inami Anju

Even among the nine of us, she pays a lot of attention to crafting her role. Since Anju’s the leader, I’m sure she felt a lot more pressure than the rest of us when we just started off. But, she managed to overcome that together with Chika-chan, and she’s now our dependable leader. Aqours would be nothing without Anju as our leader, and we can rest assured because she’s our leader.

Saito Shuka -> Aida Rikako

How she pays attention to her surroundings, and how she always has her life together. That, and I really like how she’s a little out of it (laughs). Because she’s serious, there are times when my jokes don’t get through to her, but that’s because she really values the franchise as a whole, and because she has a very strong will. I like the ups and downs in her personality.

Q&A with Inami Anju, the voice of Takami Chika

Q1) Tell us something you love about Takami Chika-chan!

There’s too many, so this is going to be hard… Among the many things, I really love how she’ll never break, and how she can continue chasing her own radiance for her entire life.

Q2) Is there something you want, or something you want to do right now?

I guess it’d be time.

That, and I really want to get a scuba-diving license someday. When I first experienced it through one of the interviews for “Love Live! Sunshine!!”, I was told that I had a knack for it. Seeing a sunfish in Numazu’s oceans is one of my dreams!

Q3) Is there a book or a game that you’ve been hooked on recently?

Because I’ve been casted in “Boku no Hero Academia” (as Toga Himiko in the stage play), I’ve been reading it recently. If it’s a game, it’s gotta be “Pokémon”.

Q4) What did you want to be when you were a child?

This is really embarrassing (laughs), but a pâtissier. Oh, that, and becoming a mermaid. That was a serious dream of mine.

Q5) What do you normally do on your days off?

Sleep, play games, work out, and go for chiropractic sessions. There are some days where I just spend the day taking care of my body.

Q&A with Aida Rikako, the voice of Sakurauchi Riko

Q1) Tell us what you like about Sakurauchi Riko-chan!

How she really cares for Chika-chan. She’s always the first to notice if Chika-chan’s feeling down. Of course, she loves everyone in Aqours, and she’s always caring for everyone. I like how she’s usually the support for all of the Aqours members.

Q2) Is there something you want, or something you want to do right now?

It’s not easy to do this at this point in time, but I want to go on a solo trip someday.

I’ve always wanted to visit France. I love “The Rose of Versailles”, and I really want to visit the Palace of Versailles. Also, visiting some hot springs would be nice.

Q3) Is there a book or a game that you’ve been hooked on recently?

“The Promised Neverland”. I’ve always liked the comics in “Young Jump”. I also have the complete set of “GIGANT”.

Q4) What did you want to be when you were a child?

A singer.

That was my first dream, though along the way I became open to more than just singing.

Q5) What do you normally do on your days off?

I don’t set an alarm and sleep in until midday. Then, I watch TV, and just laze around mostly. I usually don’t go anywhere except for places around my house, so if I had the entire day free, I’d like to visit a shopping mall or something a little further from where I live.

Q&A with Saito Shuka, the voice of Watanabe You

Q1) Tell us what you like about Watanabe You-chan!

Can I talk about something physical…? (laughs) Since she’s in the swimming club and the school idol club at the same time, I really admire her discipline, and I also really like how strongly she feels about wanting to do something together with Chika-chan, and how she really cares for her friends.

Recently, I’ve really taken a liking to her curves.

She’s not too fat but not too thin; her body is the epitome of a healthy high school girl, and that’s really great!

In episode eleven of the first season of the anime, “Aye-aye, My Friend”, there’s a scene where the camera focuses on her thighs; the thought that went through my mind was, “That’s perfect!”. Her face also looks really pretty from the side. I like how she’s so beautiful that I don’t even have the words to describe it (laughs).

Q2) Is there something you want, or something you want to do right now?

I wanna go to a grilled meat place for some beef tongue! If the beef tongue is sliced thinly, I could eat that forever. But, I’ve started asking for a larger portion of rice with my meals, like a high school boy, so I think it’s about time for me to start cutting down.

Q3) Is there a book or a game that you’ve been hooked on recently?

I’ve liked this for the longest time, but “Bokura ga Ita (We Were There)”. I really love the character Yano Motoharu from “Bokura ga Ita”, and I seriously wonder whether he’d appear in real life. My brain is infected with shoujo manga, so I really want the heart-throbbing scenes in shoujo mangas to happen to me too.

Q4) What did you want to be when you were a child?

I really wanted to say “an idol”, but that was embarrassing, so I said I wanted to become a preschool teacher. But, ever since I was a child, I was dancing in the center for the dances we did in preschool performances, and I often thought that someday I’d become someone who’d be performing on stage.

Q5) What do you normally do on your days off?

I guess I go shopping by myself most of the time. Recently, I’ve started using my days off to go for massages or to visit a beautician, to keep my body in top shape. Most of the time I end up shopping somewhere on the way back.

TL: xIceArcher

TLC: arbshortcake

QC: Cornsplosion, Yujacha

#love live #love live sunshine #aqours #inami anju #anchan #aida rikako #rikyako #saito shuka #shukashuu

54 notes · View notes

bl4cklabyrinth · 4 years

Text

ROCKIN’ON JAPAN August 2016 Interview Translation: Hiro talks about ANTITHESE, Budokan, and his past

Disclaimer: Please do not retranslate my work into other languages, as my translation may not be accurate. I am no Japanese or English native.

The biggest thank you to Anna for helping me get the magazine clippings!

Photo from here.

To what fate was he born and chosen to sing?

Thoughts on his family, his upbringing – a 20,000-character tell-all interview

To be honest, I didn’t expect Hiro to tell me this much about his life. By the time he responded to my proposal for a 20,000-character interview, he was already prepared to talk about his thoughts on his family, his upbringing, and what his songs mean to him. Be that as it may, I wasn’t expecting to hear so much about his conflicts with his family, his love towards them that was clearly in a changing phase, and the loneliness and circumstances he suffers from that no one else could ever experience.

Hiro tells us the reason behind this as he explains his relationship with (ROCKIN’ON) JAPAN, but he also details the story of how MY FIRST STORY created the masterpiece “ANTITHESE” and decided to stand on the fated Budokan stage. I believe Hiro’s songs will change immensely from hereon – they will become more impulsive, more passionate, and elicit stronger feelings of great potential. The life he is in, the life he is destined to live, in which singing was a matter of course from the moment he was born. This interview is a complete narrative of the turning point that made a significant change to his story, and the masterpiece of an album that was a turning point in itself. I hope you take the time to read it thoroughly.

- I think Hiro has dealt with loneliness and frustration really well over the years and has had to carry things from his upbringing that others couldn’t even begin to fathom. I feel like the time you’ve spent fighting like that has become the foundation of your form of expression. In that sense, the album “ANTITHESE” shows a lot about your personality, so for you to talk about your life is the same as talking about this album.

Hiro: Yes, that’s right.

- Hiro wrote most of the songs as far as this album is concerned. Did this result in more Hiro songs?

Hiro: For this album, I thought of doing it all myself. For the longest time, it was always Sho who would make the original demos, add the melodies, change the chords, and subarrange, among other things. This time, I made the foundation for it myself. Rearranging it further was the hardest part, but it was the perfect timing and I knew I had to take charge, so I made up my mind to do so from the start. There was an overwhelming theme to this album and it couldn’t be done without me, so I thought that I should be the one making it.

- Asking this now may seem out of the blue, but what is this overwhelming theme?

Hiro: My number one goal, or rather, what inspired me the most was definitely Budokan. It wasn’t finalized yet when we first started working on this album, but I felt like I could go to Budokan if we made this album. When I thought about what kind of album I should make for this purpose, I had an album in mind that I wanted to surpass no matter what, and I thought it made sense to go through trial and error to achieve that goal. That’s where the title “ANTITHESE” came from – the main point was to have an antithesis to a thesis. That was the biggest thing for me.

- So there was a clearly defined rival.

Hiro: Yes. It’s an album title that those in the music business, those who know of us, and those who are fans would definitely notice. On top of that, I knew it would without a doubt be the most controversial album of all time. I could’ve ignored that fact for a long while, but I have a tendency to look at things from a bird’s eye view. When the members became 4, when Budokan was decided, and when things started popping out left and right, I knew I shouldn’t run away from it forever. When the date for Budokan was set, I sort of felt like it was fate. I had never had a moment in my life where everything just clicked like this. If everything was connected up to this point and the ties will not be severed from hereon, then maybe I too should try riding the wave of that thread. With that in mind, I created this album.

- I see. The work on this album starts with the single “ALONE”, a song that focuses on “the proof of existence”. It’s very easy to understand that that’s where the story begins, because Hiro writes a lot about himself. I suppose the line “I’ve risked it all, even if it almost tore my lost heart into pieces” in “Nothing In The Story” is what your heart is screaming.

Hiro: That’s right.

- “I’ve risked everything for this,” you say. I’m sure you’ve had some frustration in not being able to express those feelings directly, but I also assume you tried to view things from a different point of view and accept that that’s just the way things are. However, you’d go, “If I do let things stay the way they are, my story will not move on from here.”

Hiro: That’s true. I’m not mature enough to be enlightened on the way things are, and no matter how hard I look at the bigger picture, subjectivity definitely goes in there somewhere. It wasn’t something I could give up so easily.

- You didn’t want to be compared to anyone else, you wanted to be recognized for who you are and move upwards as you are now.

Hiro: That’s what I find most difficult. It would be unbearable if I think about it too much, and I don’t know the right thing to do either. I am who I am now because of everything I’ve been through. If you are currently at a certain point in your life, then to go back to square one would be to deny the person you are today, but it all gets complicated when you’re not content with where you are now. I think this album was about coming to terms with that and deciding what to do from there.

- You’ve written all sorts of songs, but you’re only trying to say one thing. You’re earnestly writing songs that convey, “It’s these things that have made me who I am”.

Hiro: That’s right. The theme was hard.

- “Kimi no Uta”, for instance. It’s all in Japanese.

Hiro: I used more Japanese this time. It was composing the songs that was harder than anything else. The lyrics weren’t easy either, but once I got them right, I went deep into writing them. I’m not the type to compose music logically at all. I’d start with a melody and add backing tracks little by little, but if a good melody doesn’t come up then it doesn’t get my approval. Apart from that, this time I had an overwhelming challenge in mind that I didn’t want to be pulled too far in the direction of, but if I strayed too far away from it, I might not be able to get the message across. It was really, really difficult at the time.

- In any case, you’re calling this album “ANTITHESE”, so it wasn’t about making something friendly and having the world accept it. For Hiro, making “ANTITHESE” wasn’t about creating an album showcasing your skills or technique. It was about putting everything you had on the line.

Hiro: I’ve been trying not to show much of myself for as long as I could remember, but I couldn’t help thinking that this work was non-negotiable. I felt like I was finally going somewhere. It’s really scary, though. In the past, I would’ve had a wider perspective in choosing which songs I liked on the album, what order I should put the songs in, or which songs would be a hit among the rest, but this time I didn’t think about any of that at all. I was completely engrossed in making this album, so much so that it was the first time in a long while that I was able to relax after I finished recording “Home” last and wondered if the album was going to be okay. I had never made an album this controversial before, so I’m really looking forward to seeing how people react to it, having made it on the assumption that it was going to be criticized.

- So you recorded “Home” last.

Hiro: It was the very last song I recorded.

- This is the final number, right? People would think, “Are you really gonna write this much?” You’re literally singing about your family.

Hiro: That’s right. Really though, this song has everything you need for a 20,000-character interview (laughs). As I had come to accept myself recently, I wanted to express something that I had finally been able to digest. Up until now, I’d been depicting it in a very abstract way. I thought I had dipped my toes in the water for some songs, but I had never really submerged myself into it. That was the case for “Itsuwari NEUROSE” – I thought that that would be the be-all and end-all. When I pondered on which part of myself I personally wanted to share, I thought that the circumstances I grew up with and the sensibilities I had at the time were everything. Then I thought to myself, “There’s no other band like this”. I’d been asked what sets us apart from other bands in other interviews, but it isn’t about losing or not losing. I can say with absolute confidence that they couldn’t possibly win. It feels like I’m the main character in a role-playing game. The protagonist never dies, right? They come back to life over and over again until they defeat the last boss, they level up and equip all sorts of weapons. I had a much stronger feeling than certainty that I couldn’t die. That being the case, when I considered what everyone wanted to see, I thought that it would be the moment the hero takes down the villain and the ending. I think that is our story. We’re probably the easiest and hardest band to empathize with, but it was only recently that I realized that we are the ones who could change that. It was only recently that I’d come to deal with that fact. That was around last winter, when we were in the middle of making the album. I feel like I had finally changed my destiny with this album. For this reason, I thought that I wouldn’t be able to beat the almighty devil king or god unless I read the story behind why they appeared in the first place. Then, I linked that to my own life. However, I think that prologue would look completely different from the hero’s point of view and the villain’s point of view. Because of this, I didn’t want to end things with only one side of the story. To put it another way, that (one side) would be the most dominant part of my personality. As I see it, I feel like my past is my everything. However it may have been, I’ve always wanted to relay everything in a song, but I couldn’t, and I didn’t know how. But once we decided to create this album, it all felt like it was going to be fine. Down to the music and the lyrics, we had a specific theme and image for each song, especially for “Home”. I think this song plays the most important role out of all of the songs we’ve made thus far. The very existence of this song will lead to so many things.

- To use your words just now, if you don’t write this song, you wouldn’t be able to show the side of you that makes you who you are and the side of you that you have to look into the most, which will lead to you being judged.

Hiro: Yes. I think about myself quite often, don’t I? Well… Would it be okay to tell you everything?

- Of course. If you have a lot to say, please go ahead.

Hiro: Alright. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how there’s no other family as ridiculous as ours. No other family has changed the industry like ours has. Both parents sing, and their sons sing as well. Moreover, two of those sons are in a band. I don’t think it’s common for most families to have thoroughbreds succeed thoroughbreds, and you don’t see families where most of the members get to stand on the Budokan stage very often either (laughs). I thought that being able to do that was fate. I was born into such a family, and even though I was the one who decided to go down this path, I feel like even that was predetermined. Just because I started making music doesn’t mean I’ll be able to play at Budokan. I think the odds of that happening are astronomical already. But I’d been fighting against those odds ever since, so if I had already made it this far, then maybe I should ride that fate out and see where it takes me. I wanted to see how things pan out, and that’s what changed within me.

- I see.

Hiro: Our guitarist Sho went on hiatus, Masack left the band and we became 4, we released an album, then decided on Budokan which will be taking place on November 18th. Budokan’s schedule is pretty packed, isn’t it? I don’t think that us being able to hold a show there in November was a coincidence. With all this happening one after the other, I couldn’t make excuses for myself anymore. That being said, what do I do now? When we first started the band, I was thinking of saying it all at Zepp, but when I got to stand there, I thought I wasn’t ready to talk yet. The view from the stage as a performer was closer than I thought it would be when I was still watching as a part of the audience. Because of that fear, I thought it was a bit too early to be talking about Budokan. But when I thought about it clearly, Budokan would be a slightly different case compared to Yokohama Arena or Saitama Super Arena. Budokan and Tokyo Dome were different. Then when I wondered how many years it would take for us to get to Tokyo Dome, I knew everyone wouldn’t want to wait that long. With that in mind, I set my heart on going nowhere but Budokan. The thing is, I couldn’t change the fact that so many artists are able to perform at Budokan. The value of Nippon Budokan wasn’t gonna diminish as I had imagined it to, but that value would inevitably change as more people became able to play on that stage. That being the case, I always said that we should hold a Budokan show that only we can do. When asked what kind of show that would be, I knew it had to be one that would surpass the Budokan show from 6 years ago. I think that that was the only way we could conquer Budokan, and that we were the band that should be doing just that. Over the years, there had been many twists and turns to be able to achieve that goal, such as members going on hiatus, quitting the band, joining the band, and touring around all 47 prefectures, but if it will only take us 5 years to stand on the Budokan stage, then the stakes will all be worth it. To stand in Budokan on November 18th – that in itself means a lot already.

- To sing “Home” at Budokan on November 18th holds a lot of meaning for Hiro, and it would be the first time the band MY FIRST STORY will be playing as the protagonist. Truly, in the essence of Hiro’s being, life, and values, MY FIRST STORY will become a band that can compete with everyone else.

Hiro: I guess so. I don’t want to lose, of course, but we’re not trying to match anyone either. Rather, it all starts from here, from the moment I made up my mind to stand on the starting line, or the moment I finished warming up and got myself in a ready position. I feel like this is where the competition to see who can do the fastest time begins.

- Hiro is the only person in the world who has the right to stand on the starting line, huh.

Hiro: That’s right.

- I would assume you also thought about just running on a different lane.

Hiro: That’s true. There was a part of me that was already happy with doing just that. It was definitely my weak side. But if fate was going to lead us to where we are now, then there was no point in running away anymore. I think it’s more like me to face things head on. I think I would have never seen the real me had I not decided to confront my fears. This time, our moment had finally come, so I’d be happy if everyone understood that.

- I’m not on the level of understanding just yet (laughs). This song is amazing. “Now I want to go beyond, now I want to go beyond”. And the lyrics after that, “Sometimes I watch the TV and hear family’s voice”.

Hiro: I think I’m the only one who can write these lyrics. I actually came up with these lyrics around the time we made “Second Limit”. It’s an homage to the lyrics of Avril Lavigne that went something like, “I was listening to the radio and Radiohead was playing” (T/N: I assume he was referring to Avril Lavigne’s song “Here’s To Never Growing Up”). I don’t think there are a lot of people who are in a position to embody such a line to this extent, and to express it in terms of “him” or “her” instead of proper nouns. I’d been thinking about that since I wrote “Second Limit”, but no matter how I looked at it, it wasn’t the right time to put it out just yet. It was refreshing to finally be able to write it out. I tend to get easily distracted, and even if I find something cool, it’s unlikely that it stays that way for long. This was the only feeling I had that never changed or once wavered. Since I’m still feeling the same way 5 years later, I thought it would be a good idea to finally write it down. In a way, I think it had held a bit of my rebelliousness from back in the day. I also used to care too much about what other people thought of me. It felt like I was weirdly acting like a grown up, even if I was still far from being one. It felt like I was being strangled more and more. I was concerned about what people would think if I said such a thing, but if they still had something to say despite me not saying anything, then I might as well lay it all out then be told off afterwards instead (laughs). If I were told off after I’d said my piece, it would be a good rallying point and it would be possible to reach a compromise.

- It’s like you’ve climbed up all this way just to sing this song. “Even if I can’t go back to those memories, I will not run away from you” – does this part bear meaning to you personally as well?

Hiro: This one, no. Only the beginning.

- So it was just written for writing’s sake.

Hiro: Yeah. But I wrote that line with the hope of the song in mind. It wasn’t 100% me, it was more of Hiro from MY FIRST STORY. Of course Hiro from MFS would appear in this song. So I had them both mixed up here in these two lines.

- Now, let me ask you something else. First and foremost, when is your birthday?

Hiro: January 25, 1994.

- What’s your earliest memory?

Hiro: Maybe when our house was built. The house was built around the same time I was born. I don’t think I was old enough to understand anything at all, but I remember looking at it from the outside while my father was carrying me. I was like, “Wow~ Amazing~”. I guess that was my first ever memory.

- How would you describe the shade of that memory?

Hiro: ...If I had to choose, it would probably be a warm memory. It might not go all the way up the scale, but it’s a memory with a temperature, if anything.

- You were around a year old?

Hiro: Yeah, more or less.

- But you remember that scene happening.

Hiro: I remember it vividly. I don’t know, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t mean it in a bad way, but for better or for worse, I don’t have any memories of spending time with my family. Moreover, it feels strange to have the world know about my family. We had such a special relationship that it was almost as if my grade school classmates knew my mother and father better than I did. It’s like, “That guy on TV is my father” – that’s about as uncomfortable as it’s gonna get. Everyone would tell me, “That’s your dad”, and I’d be thinking, “Is that so?” I had never simply played catch with him, never gone anywhere for the end of the year, and I had never even had a home-cooked meal before, so I had really weird feelings towards my family. I know they’re important, but I think they’re less important to me than most people are. If the average person weighs 100 percent to me, it would only be about 70 or 60 percent for my family – they lack the remaining 30 or 40 percent. It’s not that I don’t like them or am bitter towards them, it’s kind of like, even I don’t understand why. I’ve always felt strangely towards my family, so I think that’s why I was able to write this song. I guess it’s because I was born last, so my memories of family were a lot shorter compared to those of my brothers. I never felt bad about that though, and I’m able to do all of this now because of that. If things had gone well, I’m sure I would have been one hell of a little shit (laughs). I can affirm that, but it’s kind of hard to understand so I can’t really explain it.

- What kind of kid were you?

Hiro: I don’t think I’ve changed much. I was pretty stubborn, and I wouldn’t yield even if I said something wrong. I used to lie a lot, too. We weren’t allowed to have cup ramen at home, but I would hide and buy some from the convenience store. If I got found out, I would say I didn’t know anything (laughs). Even if it was in my room, I would say, “It wasn’t me, didn’t mom put that there?” then run away.

- When did you first become aware of music?

Hiro: Hmm, when I was in my second year in high school. Until then, music was just always in the air. Music would naturally be playing at home, and I would listen to music when I’m out of the house as well. My parents would sing songs and stuff. It was always just there. That was how it had always been, so I didn’t pay attention to it for a long time. But when I was in my second year in high school, everyone started deciding what to do in the future, and my friends said they were going to university. 3 years in middle school and 3 years in high school were enough to make me sick of being a student, so I didn’t wanna go there. Thing is, there wasn’t anything I wanted to do either. When I was thinking about what I should do, I don’t know when it happened, but there was a moment when I realized that music was something I could make a career out of. Up until then, there were barely any hurdles for me to make music my profession. When the idea popped up in my head, I made up my mind immediately with no hesitation. I hadn’t been able to take part in any of the club activities until then, but since music was what I had always been doing at the time, I knew this was the only thing I could do. I just didn’t see the point in not pursuing music when I was allowed to do so anyway. I thought that life wouldn’t be as fun anywhere else. It was the first time I became aware of something I had always taken for granted.

- Have you been singing since you were a kid?

Hiro: Mostly just humming. I would look at the lyrics and sing along as I listened to minidiscs and stuff like that. If my dad happened to come home while I was singing in the living room, I would turn off the music right away. He would point out that my pitch was off and in my head I’d be like, “Shut up”. That’s why I didn’t really sing in front of my parents. I guess I would have been able to sing if both my brothers were with me, but all I could think of at the time was that they were all so annoying.

- You still didn’t have feelings of liking singing at the time, huh.

Hiro: I didn’t. It’s a part of the necessities of life that I can’t live without – it’s only natural to have music. In other words, I don’t really understand the power that music brings. Sometimes I would think that music could change people or that music could change the world, and I say so in my MCs too, but I rarely think about it. I can’t say that music could change the world or that music could change people, because music is a natural part of life. I would think, “I don’t mean this in a bad way at all, but how can music save someone?”

- So you’re not overly attached to music, huh.

Hiro: Right. It’s my destiny already after all. I don’t have any emotional attachment to my own life either, because it’s like, “I’m alive right now (and that’s all that matters)”. But whenever I get asked what life means to me, I’m really not exaggerating when I say that I would plainly answer “music”. I don’t feel emotionally attached to it, but if it’s not there then I would die. Because it’s who I am.

- Everyone tries to attach emotions to their personal experiences. Some people have stories like, “When I heard that riff by Nirvana in my second year in middle school, I knew I wanted to be a musician, so with that one riff, everything changed”. On the other hand, in Hiro’s case, your life was set up right from the start.

Hiro: Yep. From the very day I was born.

- Did you ever try to pursue anything else apart from music?

Hiro: I wanted to try a lot of things. Music wasn’t even on the list until my second year in high school, so I thought about doing all sorts of jobs like being a comedian or a baseball player. But I started to think that I wasn’t going to be a kid forever, so I decided against it. I found myself face to face with reality.

- We all once wrote our dreams for the future in our grade school yearbooks, right? What did you write in yours?

Hiro: I don’t remember. I wasn’t the type of kid who took those things seriously, and I didn’t have to think about it from the third grade up to my third year in middle school. I thought I could get away with it, I guess. But when that time of my life ended, I thought to myself, “Well, what am I going to do?” That was what the second son (T/N: Tomohiro Moriuchi) was particularly agitated about. Every time I saw him, he would ask me, “What are you going to do in the future?” Music didn’t come up whenever my family asked me what my dream was, so it seriously wasn’t an option. I wasn’t mature enough to really think about it that much, and when I was in middle school and high school, I was happy as long as I had fun every day. I thought my life would be over after high school. I didn’t think it would last beyond that. That was when I met our producer. The first thing he said to me was, “You look like a good singer. Are you in a band?” At the time, it had been around 2 days since the band I had with our guitarist Teru disbanded. I answered, “I’m not. Our band just broke up the other day actually,” and he replied, “I see. Let’s start a band.” I thought that was really sloppy of him (laughs), but my band had just broken up, so I said, “Sure.” Then he asked me to come to the studio a week later. I sang at the studio, but the recording we had was pretty intense. I thought I wasn’t cut out for it, but they said my voice was cool and that we should start a new band. Nob and Masack were on the bass and drums back then, so I started a band with those 3. After that, we decided to bring in another guitarist, and just my luck, Teru said he wanted to play with me again. I was in a huge hurry at the time. Everyone around me was in high school, and we kept getting booked by livehouses, playing shows, and paying extra because we didn’t reach our quota. It had me wondering until when this was going to last. I was graduating soon, and my friends in high school along with their other friends were my entire community, so I knew it would be a disaster if all of that disappeared. I was living in a very small world, but everything changed when I met our producer. The possibilities, the range and depth of options, all unlike anything I had ever seen before. I was overwhelmed by the speed at which things were happening, but I was also relieved.

- I see.

Hiro: The first 2 years was all about the simple joys of being in a band. When we went on our first tour or show, everyone came and paid for their own tickets, and I was genuinely glad to be standing there as a professional. The members were all serious about what they were doing too, so that made me really happy as well. Up until then, it was normal for me to hear, “Sorry, I have to go to cram school”, “I have to study”, I have a part-time job”, so getting rid of that alone made me so happy I could die. As I released more and more of my music, my own emotions started to grow, and things gradually changed from then on. I think it was around the time we made “Saishuukai STORY” when MY FIRST STORY became a part of me. All this time, I was screaming and just going with the flow, but then all of a sudden, I became an adult.

- It’s ironic, isn’t it? In your case, music was always by your side, yet the realization that being in a band was fun came later than most people.

Hiro: That’s true. I’ve been asked what the first ever CD I bought was in so many interviews, but that question is incredibly hard for me to answer (laughs). I seriously don’t remember it at all. All this time, I had only been giving half-assed answers because it’s not something people would understand unless they’ve heard my story, but I’d never been able to share my story up until now. When I was in middle school or high school, I felt like ROCKIN’ON JAPAN was the number one magazine out there. I thought it was the king of music magazines, and I was deeply attached to it. Then, when we started the band, I was thinking of speaking up for the first time at Zepp or Budokan, but I’d decided that this (magazine) would be the first place I talk about my life.

- Is that so?

Hiro: Then, since the timing was perfect with this 20,000-character interview, and since Koyanagi-san will be the one interviewing me, I thought that today was the day I should finally speak up. I’d never spoken about it before, I didn’t have the guts to, and I had quite a few things left unsettled up until now. It feels great to finally be able to talk about it now for the first time.

- You deal with music in a very unique way, huh. To illustrate, it’s like water and air to you. “The air saves me every day!” Don’t you agree? (laughs)

Hiro: I do! I don’t think anyone appreciates being able to breathe air every day. Everybody just lives off of that life force, so I couldn’t help thinking deeply about it.

- When did music become a form of expression for you?

Hiro: Expression… I don’t know if I’ve ever thought of it that way. I sing about proving my existence in “ALONE”, but in my mind, it’s not as strong a proof of existence as everyone imagines it to be. I’m really just doing it because I love it. I simply want to hear new songs in my own voice. I’ve always done it as an extension of my hobby, so I don’t really understand the fact that I’m getting paid to do this. I’m like, what’s this compensation reward for? I don’t think I’ll ever leave music behind no matter how much it changes, so I don’t really feel like I’m doing it for self-expression.

- I see. I want to ask you a few more questions about your past. What kind of student life did you have when you were in grade school and middle school?

Hiro: I was just having fun. Well, I was a bit of a naughty kid from around my second year in middle school (laughs). I didn’t go to school much. I didn’t have a lot of friends in middle school. I was rather popular until around my first year so I was just going with the flow, but just like how a nail that sticks out gets hammered down, I was pushed to the side hard (T/N: ignored) in my second year or so. I couldn’t make any friends and I was always lonely. Even in my third year in middle school, I would play outside instead of going to school. Then, I joined the music club in my third year in high school. I heard that students weren’t allowed to join clubs in their senior year because they would be sure to participate in the school festival. They’d have club homeroom every Wednesday, so that was when I asked them, “Please let me join the club.” I didn’t feel like I would lose to any of the guys in that room, so I said, “Please let me participate in the school festival,” and with that they told me, “Fine, if you insist”. At the time, the best performers out of everyone in the club gathered together and did covers and original songs. I was already with MFS back then, so we were touring around non-stop. That being said, we decided to hold a performance that would overwhelmingly crush the top band at the school festival, and we went home with a bang. When I got to my senior year, I thought, “Yikes, I’ve only got 1 year left to be a student”, so I decided to do a ton of things that I could only do then. I became a member of the executive committee for events and was involved in organizing the athletic and cultural festivals. That’s why my senior year in high school was pretty free and fun. All things considered, I think both my middle school and high school days paved the way to where I am today. I was living in a society where that community was everything, so I couldn’t help feeling a sense of loneliness when I was withdrawn from it, but I was able to meet so many people and realize that I was struggling in such a small world.

- Hiro’s way of life is pretty flexible in a way, huh? You’re willing to accept things because that’s just how they were meant to be. It’s a special ability you were able to learn, isn’t it?

Hiro: The past isn’t going to change, but I don’t want to say these kinds of things in my songs. You don’t know what kind of person is going to be listening, and a song is only 3 minutes long. There’s only so much text you can squeeze in. For example, you can’t expect some random person passing by to suddenly give you good advice. And even if what they said was right, you don’t even know them. There are people who don’t share the same pain, and I don’t think it’s a good idea to put the band on the line and dedicate everything to a single group of people. That’s why I write songs about my story.

- I strongly feel you on that. When it comes to your manner of songwriting, you don’t say, “This is how it should be”. You’d answer your own questions, and if someone else sympathizes with you in doing so, then great.

Hiro: Yeah, exactly. It’s easy to put up a façade, but I believe people can grow by showing their weaknesses and making other people think. It’s no good to just show the answer to a problem; the most important part of the process is to think about why you got the answer you got. I think life is a repetition of these things. I don’t want to tell people they can change. I don’t really like being pushy.

- Hiro doesn’t say, “This is black” in his songs. You endlessly ask yourself, “Is it white? Is it black?” That’s what everyone says – “It’s different for each person”. But I think Hiro truly understands that each person is different. I believe that’s how you’ve been living your life. Perhaps that’s the reason your self-questioning lyrics are so compelling. In this album, Hiro writes, “This is what the shape of my heart is like now”. This piece was the first time you tried to frame your own mind.

Hiro: I think I’m a really, really twisted person. If I’m moved by something I see, I think people who could see things from a normal perspective would be even more moved by it. I’m pretty confident about that. So whenever I find something cool, I’d say, “It’s cool, isn’t it?” I’m not trying to impose. The fact that I was able to think a certain way and keep going with that in mind is the reason I’m here today, I believe. That’s what it all comes down to. I think this is the most direct I’ve ever been able to express myself, not in an abstract way.

- You were able to write in specifics without escaping to the abstract. It’s truly an incredible album.

Hiro: Thank you.

- You mentioned at the beginning of this interview that there was something stronger than certainty already in place. What would that be?

Hiro: To release our 4th album, at the age of 22, as 4 members, playing Budokan in November after having been together for 5 years… It’s scary, isn’t it? How things led up to this point. With everything turning out that way, I knew I wanted to exceed the album from that time at all costs. I thought that doing so would be the best way to prove my existence. I’m absolutely sure that there was something stronger than certainty about that.

- Something along the lines of, “I will face my destiny”, or “I will live my destiny”?

Hiro: Yeah. I guess it’s somewhere in between facing my destiny and living my destiny. I do think it’s more important to face it though, and I feel like Budokan is the perfect stage for that. But as you would expect, I definitely don’t want to lose. This is the first time I’m talking about this, but our motive for starting the band, or our biggest ambition if you will is, as mentioned earlier, the fact that there is no other family like mine. There’s the father and the mother whose sons were rascals, but one’s in a successful band that’s doing well overseas, too. “Their son is just as amazing”, “What a great family” – this is our current image to the public. The story I want to tell, however, is that there’s also a younger brother in the picture who’s even better. That’s the ideal story we wanted to create. We’ll go into battle as the select few in order to make this a reality, so we have no desire whatsoever to join a major label like they did. How can we go above and beyond? That’s my biggest dream, so I’m running forward to achieve just that. But like I said before, it feels like I’m trying to view the public’s image of my family objectively. I’m not in that circle. As I say in “Home”, I don’t belong in that circle; I’m connected to it, but I’m somehow outside of it and am trying to break it with no hesitation. It’s a strange feeling, but I strongly stand by it. If you take this into consideration when listening to this song, you’ll see it in a completely different light. It’s not just a simple desire to not lose – it’s a more complex emotion with a different direction.

- You’re not just saying it’s a rivalry. It’s not about who should win, it’s about the situation you were given.

Hiro: I want to seize my destiny. With such strong blood, strong DNA, and a strong destiny, I truly don’t feel like I will lose to anyone. It’s like, “Sorry, but you’re definitely not gonna win. Because there’s no other family like mine.” I don’t have an emotional attachment to the idea of family like everybody else does, and I don’t really understand what it’s all about, so I’d discuss it with my friends when we go out for drinks. I had kept it to myself all this time and never told anyone about it, but I started to loosen up and was able to talk about it. I don’t know if people would understand my situation, and they probably won’t, which made me think that I was the only one suffering from this. Then I thought it might be a good idea to turn this into a song.

- 22 years old, 4 members, November, Budokan. The whole journey was written in this song, wasn’t it? I think this interview was very meaningful because of this album and song, and that everyone’s emotions are headed in the right direction towards Budokan.

Hiro: I believe there are people who realize what it means to us to perform at Budokan in November. Some people think that’s amazing. Now that this album is out, the mystery is finally solved. “Now I understand. You can do it, MFS” – I hope everyone looks forward to Budokan having this in mind. That’s what we mean by holding a Budokan show that only we can do.

#my first story #マイファス #Hiro #print #2016 #translating this was one hell of a ride #all I have to say is #ily Hiro bb

30 notes · View notes

kamus15 · 3 years

Text

Heartbreak Weather 2021 Review*

Heartbreak Weather sound takes me to pop-rock elements where 1D left off, somehow Niall manages to put his on twist on it rather than sounding repetitive or following a certain formula. He found his own voice and niche in his first album and now with his second release, he explores further into lusting and one night stands with strangers. It shouldn’t be shocking on how we hear about his romantic escapades throughout the album and how much he yearns for company and also explores into self-doubt, vulnerability, and being young. Without further ado, let’s break into the album track-by-track:

1) Heartbreak Weather We start off with the title of the album, in this song, Niall tells us how sad and lost he was before meeting this girl whom he now shares a room in a hotel, we can pretty much tell that the girl is the one that takes initiative into this swift hook up as they undress each other and can’t wait to find each other wrapped in arms, legs and bedsheet. Poor Niall, you were probably coming off from a dry-spell and this is all you needed to breathe new energy into your life. The instruments played throughout this song are chill and have this Caribbean-tinged arrangements that makes the song feel rather relaxed despite Niall pleas of desperation and how lonely he must have felt.

2) Black & White The typical perfect song for a wedding. Oh yes, Niall narrates how he pictures himself growing older with who knows, maybe the girl on track 1? It’d be impossible to keep track of how many girls Niall must have dated since 1D began. It’s somehow cheesy but not enough for the whole song not to turn into a cheesy festival.

3) Dear Patience This is such a heartfelt song, where we see Niall talking to inner (younger) self. In a path to self-discovery, it’s easy to get lost in the process, and find it hard to hear your own voice. It’s very refreshing to hear Niall being so honest with himself and admit that he’s had his setbacks, just like any of us. During the song, he pleads for more understanding, to come to terms with being more *pun intended* patient.

4) Bend The Rules This has a rather interesting question-and-answer section where Niall wonders what his partner has been up to, even though he gives us a vague idea that he suspects of cheating, yet he knows there’s no proof and he might be seeing things. The song itself drags on quite a bit for my liking, however, it’s great to hear the vulnerability in his voice. Mr. Horan once again shows off his cleverness with his songwriting on this track.

5) Small Talk We’re back to the one-night stand, hook-up type of songs! We get it Niall, you like to drop your pants faster than a skyrocket! In this song, we hear how much Niall has been craving it and thinking it about it. With this type of song, in my mind, it would be perfect to play on a sleazy bar where you go to pick up your latest tinder hot date. Nothing new we haven’t seen before. Just shut up and F me

6) Nice To Meet Ya *Dua’s voice* One look at the lyrics it’s all it takes to figure out that this Irish leprechaun is either thinking about getting laid or having a nice Guinness stout in his nearest bar. I do like the fact his voice sounds different in this song, I can’t quite describe it, but it does remind me somehow of what brit-pop sounded in the late nineties. Niall becomes the second member of One Direction to dabble in French (cou, cou!), although I can’t see how taking your hot date to the sea will keep her warm. But, alas, I do see an effort in this song for creativity.

7) Put a little love on me This song screams Disney-ballad to me. It’s very syrupy and Niall’s vocals showcase quite some emotion as well. It sounds like something One direction would have put out during their peak. I do appreciate that Niall pushes his vocal range a bit further here.

8) Arms of a Stranger Unsure how to feel about this track, other than it’s a filler track.

9) Everywhere Niall can’t escape this girl who keeps turning up in every single corner he turns to, is he a victim or a perpetrator? The song sounds a bit bland and generic but works for the album body of work.

10) Cross your mind Ahh! at last, we have hit the summit of the record! This is my favorite track of the album and I’d definitely sing my lungs out on a karaoke night! It’s such a shame this wasn’t chosen as a single, because it’s a very catchy song. Niall tells us in this song he can’t let go of a girl that brings heart ache to him, he knows that she is toxic to him, yet, he doesn’t mind as long as she comes back to him. Leaving me in pieces, but I swear it's worth it every time, very clever Niall !!

11) New Angel 1D - Hey, Angel HS - Only Angel NH - New Angel What’s the obsession behind angels? I wonder who will be next in mentioning an angel in their solo albums. Nice song.

12) No Judgement Niall encourages the listener (or rather his lover du jour) that they don’t have anything to prove to be with him, since they are at a point where he is comfortable with that person. it’s nice to hear that Niall’s personality really comes through in this song, the man is simple, give him a golf cart full of equipment and a pint of beer and you have yourself a happy man! sonically, this sounds something Ed Sheeran would’ve put out (Shape of you says hello!), but it’s refreshing nonetheless that Niall makes this song his own.

13) San Francisco A bittersweet song. Can’t say much other than Niall shows how much hurt and PAYNE his last relationship in California has caused him, during his time in the Golden state.

14) Still The closing track, very interesting and quite intriguing that N. Horan/NHHQ chose to close this album with this particular track. The beginning of the song reminds me in a strange way of H. Styles “Canyon Moon”, notice how also towards the end of the song, Horan tells us everything will be alright.. sounds familiar? Harry on Fine Line’s closing track also conveys the same message, could this mean that in the near future there could be a Horan/Styles collab? Who knows! I’m exited regardless, their future seems very promising for both! Closing Remarks : The album works quite well as a body of work, Niall is very cohesive throughout the album with its themes and lyricism, I definitely hear his personality and drive in this songs. From track 1 to track 14, Niall had a hand in writing all songs, which I do appreciate in today’s music, he’s very relatable, his music gives anyone easy access to anyone without going deep for mixed messages or having the FBI decode hidden meanings, yes I am looking at you Harry Styles.

I give this album a solid 8/10 stars.

Disclosure : I do not own any images, music, lyrics alluded on this post. This is merely my take on one of today’s Pop music superstars latest to-date release.

#niall horan #heartbreak weather album #one direction #solo #albumreview #2021review reblog

1 note · View note

astro-break · 3 years

Text

Thoughts on the 7th ep of Hypmic Rhyme Anima. Spoilers beware

Ep.1 | Ep.2 | Ep.3 | Ep.4 & 5 | Ep. 6

Can we get an MTC ep for Samatoki’s birthday please?

nope its MTR

ah man i always get really down whenever i see Doppo’s workplace environment. it suckssss

EYYYYY BUSTER BROS SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i forgot the name of the song in the moment but is Ikebukuro West Gate Park which is funny since thats where the ikebukuro prelims are held)

OOO IRIS ON A MOTERBIKE!!!!!!!!!!!! thats so hot oh my god, the CGI was good too! she had no right making to popping a wheelie over speedbumps look cool

Tom mentioned last episode that he had picked these three up from bad places and I have a feeling that Iris was once either an adrenaline junkie, thrill seeker, or involved in something that had her on the run

I don’t know about Rex. I think society just took one look at him and pushed him away because his personality is weird. He’s honest and kind, almost too kind. It don’t help that he doesn’t look traditionally Japanese which will garner him a lot of unpleasant experiences

MTCCCCCCCCCCC HELL YEAH

love that theyre one of the few units shown actually going out and doing intel searching on their own

god the TDD flashbacks harken to the manga and thats so cool

There’s a lot of underline threads going on in here and its going to be hard keeping track of them. I hope that the anime doesn’t choke itself on all the threads

T.REX is hilarious i think i might actually grow to like him. he’s a dumb himbo

ah even more threads and previous connections. i really really really hope that everything is ties up nicely by the end of the season though that doesn’t seem plausible, not with only 5 episodes remaining

OH GOD WHY WAS YOTOSUJUJI BROUGHT UP NOW IM TEARING UP

ah of course robberies are going to happen on the day of the rap battle

That ruikawa guy is suspicious. it might be my INFP speaking but his kindness seems a bit weird

ah yeah red flags right there. he’s definitely one of the robbers or in cahoots with them

ah yeah hes a robber. theres no doubt about that. “ive found a place to release what builds up inside me”. thats crime isn’t it. the fact that he won’t talk about it just raises more red flags

ahahaha see i was right

hey at least it was doppo’s hardass boss. could be someone more innocent and less asshole-y

YOU JUST GAVE YOUR INDEITY AWAY ASSHOLE wow even doppo caught on

EYYYY SHINJIKU STYLE!!!!! HELL YEAH

Those stills are absolutely mesmerizing though.

i love the sense of trust and mentorship between matenro with Jakurai as Hifumi and Doppo’s mentors. At least that’s the feeling I get with them ahaha

Doppo’s english is a bit harsh but also weirdly fits his style. im a bit mixed on it but with the whole song being more melancholic with english sprinkled in, it matches the theme

The song itself is such a mellow and soothing song though. Its different than Maternro’s usual work and its a good different. I love the subway and old timey imagery that came with the song and the image of a subway train lighting up the way to a new path is such a great way of showing that there are different paths and different destinations that one can take. Even if you take the same train, you can end up in a different place. The light imagery in particular is just so good since Ruikawa’s original line of the city being a beacon of light for him is mirrored in the song.

The lyrics especially are so soft and powerful with the imagery within the words being simultaneously rough and tumble but also soft and reassuring. It seems more like a lament or a elegy to a life that could have been if they had gotten on a different train. I love the lyrics, especially the chorus since it speaks of mundane things but things that everyone can understand and relate to

it also carries mad Spirited Away vibes. It’s also called Falling which I think is pretty fitting

the only thing that I don’t like about the song Jakurai’s vocal beats within his verse. Usually it works since there’s a big beatboxing feel to those beats but with Jakurai his lyrical rap doesn’t mesh well with the harsh guttural sounds beatboxing

The pain of having one of your few friends betray you hurts and wow this episode is out to make me feel a lot of sympathy for Doppo

SMILING DOPPO!!!

Hell yeah they actually had a plan and followed through with it

Did they just set up the MTC episode lmao. thats sneaky

OOh that beat change for FP ending is so nice!!

I think I’m only noticing this just now but the episode titles are all famous quotes from people/proverbs.

Ep. 1) “As Soon as Man is Born, He Begins to Die“ This is an old proverb. Who said it I don’t know and a quick internet search gave me nothing, but its commonly said to convey the meaning that nothing lasts forever. IDK why this proverb was chosen since there’s no indication of any of the teams disbanding any time soon except for TDD era teams which have already happened

Ep. 2) “Speak of the Devil and He Will Appear“ Again, another old idiom which dates back to the 16th century. This one is probably about Ichiro and how he appears whenever he is called or whenever he is needed. Though it could be a overall commentary on how the brothers are reliable no matter the situation

Ep. 3) “Two Heads Are Better Than One” - John Heywood This quote describes DoHifu pretty well. Its because these two work and rely on each other that they’re able to not only make it through each day but also make each day worth living. Because they help each other, but they’re not the same, they’re better for it. This could also apply to MTR as a whole being a team where each member thinks outside the box and their ideas collectively make such an interesting team

Ep. 4) “A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed” This one is an 11th century proverb which explains that in times of need, true friends will show their colors. That's the main mentality behind MTC though I believe that it applies to Rio in particular for this episode. While the entirety of MTC are willing to help each other in times of need, in this episode it mainly focused on Samatoki and Rio’s plights and how the members as a whole show that they are all true friends to each other

Ep. 5) “Seeing is Believing” The origins of this quote is blurry but there the bible seems to be the origin of this statement believe it or not. While it does fit the episode’s theme of ghosts and how rumor's can harm people and businesses, it doesn’t really describe FP like the other quotes do the other teams. I find it odd, but I hope that FP are redeemed in their next feature episode. FP deserves better and are being done dirty in the anime.

Ep. 6) “He Who Laughs Last, Laughs Best” - The Christmas Prince. I think this one is pretty nice in describing not only the episode but the series as a whole. It doesn’t matter who’s winning in the begging, or the middle. The final outcome is what really matters. It’s pretty apt for the series since even though The Party of Words are winning currently, its who wins by the end of the series that matters. The episode encompasses this pretty well too with the whole plotline.

Ep. 7) “The Darkest Hour is Just Before the Dawn” Dating back to 1950 ish, this one carries the simple There is hope in the worst circumstances message. Again, its pretty suitable for the series as a whole since the Party of Words might be making life harsh, but there’s still hope to be found in the world.

Ep. 8) “Dead men tell no tales” - Thomas Becon. NGL, this one scares me because it can either apply to MTC, or the universe as a whole. We’ll just have to wait till next week to know for sure but i think we’ll get some Jyuto angst with his parents

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #hypnosis mic rhyme anima #hypmic spoilers

8 notes · View notes

jjungkooksthighs · 3 years

Text

BTS BE ALBUM REVIEW

So, I have seen reviews on albums done before and I wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere. This little thing came into being because of that!

First off, I would definitely recommend BE for those who are struggling. It is a good source of comfort, for sure, if you are going through a rough time and I can understand how others would love this album as I have already seen. I think the boys put in work for this one and it definitely shows! I’m especially proud of Kook for his directing skills in the MV. It was very well done and I am so glad he seemed to have had a good time doing that as he stated in the Global Press Conference yesterday!

BE is a very interesting album in terms of the styles of the songs with three of the eight being retro-themed (Dynamite, Telepathy and Dis-ease) with the other three being slower and more melancholy (Life Goes On, Blue and Grey and Fly To My Room). Personally, I liked 7 better than this one, but that is just my opinion! I have seen lots of other people on Tumblr commenting their favorite songs off BE amongst other loving praises that I’ve come across and I think that is wonderful.

For me, though, I will say that Life Goes On definitely caught me off guard as I wasn’t expecting that style of song at all. Despite that, the fact that my bias directed this MV was something very unique that I really enjoyed seeing. If words would embody this song, I would choose succor’s solace as the epitome of this track. It is relief rolled into audio and it is such a gift to have a song like this in the hard times that we have been attacked with. It is soft yet firm in its tone and both balance each other very well to coalesce into a very comforting song.

This is certainly a song that you’d listen to on the way home from work after a long day or while you’re in the midst of studying, doing schoolwork or even at home working on assignments or tasks for your job. It is also something you’d listen to when you feel like the problems and struggles you face are just too much and need to be reminded that, per the song’s title, life continues on and that we must push forward to enjoy the little things and the big. I liked this track the most, I think. I myself am facing some things in my life right now and the core message of this song resonated deeply with me. To that end, this track is every bit the comfort song they intended it to be and this song, along with Spring Day, sit at the same table for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Fly To My Room’s mellow beat is something that I think would be a great listen at night after the trials and woes of the day and it was interesting to see sope/vmin in the same track and how those two subunits meshed together to create something entirely new and unseen before.

Blue and Grey... this one sounded familiar to me and it took me all but two seconds to realize where I had heard it before. This is the same song that Taehyung teased in Bon Voyage when he was sitting in the canoe out on the lake. The song sounded so very different in this rendition and I was very surprised to see this song in the album when I had originally thought it would be in Tae’s mixtape!

This is definitely a song you listen to in the rain and when the sun has been masked by the clouds in the sky. It is also a song you’d listen to once the sun has set and you walk outside just to have some fresh air and reminisce either about the past or to think on the stresses of your present. I think this track has the power to ease both and that is a powerful thing, indeed.

Telepathy I really liked! I think the upbeat form of this one definitely was a nice break from the slow beat of the first three songs on the album and, because this one is BTS’s love letter to ARMY, I think that is a very special thing that we as their fans should cherish in their thought towards us during the times that have befallen us and taken from us (and them) their ability to see us beyond a screen. I think the flow of the song is perfect and the flux of the voices of the members works very well for the positive energy they are trying to instill in it. From beginning of this song, when I heard it, I knew I was going to like it. It had a starry, celestial vibe to it and for some reason, when I hear it, I think of shooting stars that fly through the night sky.

True to that image, this is a song you’d listen to when you’re with friends to recall the bonds you make with those closest to you (and those farthest from you) no matter where in the world they are. This is a song you’d also listen to to PARTY PARTY, YEAH! (I’m sorry, but ever since I heard that from Kook, it has been living in my mind rent free) In any case, this is a nice song to uplift you and would also be good to put on after a bad day so that you can look back on all the good things life despite the bad. That message is a very strong one, indeed, so that definitely makes this song a favorited one for me.

As an English major at my university, the title of Dis-ease was interesting as someone that often studies semantics and semiotics in language and literature. It was intriguing to see that they chose to deconstruct the word of disease and split it into its alternative form to convey an entirely new meaning from what one might assume the word means at first glance. While they could have chosen to name the song DISEASE, which is a word associated with sickness, illness or an ailing, afflicted health condition that most link with weakness and feebleness, BTS decided to utilize a play on words and use an older version of the word that now has two different meanings linked with it, I found it fascinating that they named the song what they did, for dis-ease was often used in the past to denote a lack of ease or absence of relief in an individual.

It was only later that the word was changed once individuals started tagging health related conditions with actual infections or maladies when viruses and mental illnesses began to gain a name for themselves in the colonizing world. Ironically enough, the word dis-ease is now used by medical practitioners in healing environments for individuals that are on the road to eudemonia or betterment of themselves and the word is purposefully used to endow awareness of compromised health on a singular cause or root.

I don’t think I need to explain why that is significant in the scheme of the situation that our world has come to, but I shall say it anyway: this is meaningful in that BTS decides to fight back and combat the negativity that would threaten to swallow them (and those who listen and internalize the lyrics of the song for themselves and thusly feel the message they are trying to give to us) to instead grapple and wrestle with it by loudly bringing attention to it rather than allowing it to silently consume and germinate within them. This, for me, was very empowering to hear and is one of the many reasons why I appreciate this song in particular amongst the lyrics that target and attack the “diseases” that would try to take from us our wellbeing. The track is a battle cry to keep fighting and that, in it of itself, is a very powerful thing that strikes very deep within me. The bridge at the end with Kook and Jimin, by the way… literal EARGASM, MA’AM. Anyway, this is a song that you’d listen to in the morning to get yourself hype for the day. It is something you’d put on in the desire to boost your spirits if they are low and honestly could be listened to in any situation.

Lastly, we have Stay. This subunit of NamKookJin was certainly a pleasant surprise to me! Kook’s involvement in writing this track doesn’t go unnoticed in the emotion that is present in his voice (amongst Joon and Jin, of course), but there’s also something about this song that goes straight for the heartstrings in the pledge of continued loyalty that is subliminal in its subtlety. I adored this song and this track’s EDM style was a wonderful finale of the album in its summation that there are low points in life (as the first few tracks suggest) and that there are high points and life. I think that through this song, the three boys who sang in it were wonderful in their energy that was so vibrant.

It was wonderful to hear the three of them meld together in a unit that also was unlike what we have heard before. I know the song must have meant a lot to the three of them because Joon is Kook’s role model as he has stated many times and to sing with one’s idol would certainly be a powerful thing, indeed. The fact that Jin was in it too much have had so much meaning for Kook since Jin is like a brother to him and took care of him (and honestly, he still does, let’s be real) when he was younger.

The song’s lyrics themselves reach out to the ARMY that Jungkook said the song was meant for in his, Joon’s and Jin’s efforts to remind us that, as their fans, they hope that we will always remain with them and that they know the times are going to change for the better. I enjoyed this song very much and it would definitely be a song you’d listen to be reminded of the love that BTS has for you and that despite everything, you will always have a place with them even if you feel lost in the world around you. I think a situation you’d put this on would be when you are need just that extra bit of confidence to get you through an anxiety inducing time whether it be a test for school or even a meeting for work.

With all of this in mind, my favorite songs are as follows: Dis-ease, Telepathy, Stay and Life Goes On. It is hard to pick a favorite among those four, but those were my most liked tracks for sure!

Overall, I think the album definitely is one meant to soothe the soul and the boys have succeeded in that without fail. It is clear that the boys worked hard on this and their efforts were not vain! This is an album that I think we all needed to close out a tough year and it took me some to get all my thoughts together, but now that I have listened to the whole album once again, I’m liking it more with each time I hear it. It is always amazing to me how BTS continues to do what no one else does: letting their genuine feelings shine through their music that inspires light in so many. I am proud of each and every one of them and they deserve some hard earned rest after their efforts!

#be review #the album was good #boys worked hard #sorry if this is long lmao #jungkook #bts

8 notes · View notes

bobdylanrevisited · 3 years

Text

Blood On The Tracks

Released: 20 January 1975

Rating: 10/10

Often regarded as Dylan’s greatest album, and potentially the greatest album of all time, it’s hard to disagree. Released on Columbia Records following Bob starting a relationship with an employee whilst his marriage to Sara was crumbling following the 1974 tour, the record is actually two different recording sessions. One was in New York, with a much more mellow feel, the other was in Minneapolis with a backing band, following Dylan’s brother stating that the New York songs sounded too similar. Whilst the original recordings are available on the Bootleg Series Vol. 14: More Blood, More Tracks, and are fucking fantastic in their own right, the final product is a thing of inconceivable genius. It’s an album that perfectly captures the turbulence of divorce, love, longing, and self reflection, and is easily the most beautifully written collection of songs ever released.

1) Tangled Up In Blue - Once again, Bob opens the album with one his best ever compositions. A non-linear tale of love and loss which would rival the postmodern writing style of Kerouac and Ginsberg. The story he tells here is both sweet and tragic, filled with nostalgia and longing for a companion. Potentially partially biographical in nature, the lyrics are among his very best, relatively simple at face value, but filled with references and meaning that could take a lifetime to fully digest. His voice continues to sound more mature and even quite commercial, though his brilliant nasal twang is still present, particularly when he hits the title line. This Minneapolis version is astonishing, it may be the perfect song, though the slower and more chilled out New York recording is equally as brilliant. Although for me the defining performance is the one found on his 1984 live album ‘Real Live’, which completely alters most of the lyrics, something Bob carries on doing to this day.

2) Simple Twist Of Fate - A beautiful track about the cruel nature of fate and losing a soul mate. The song talks of the life cycle of a relationship, through metaphor and abstract imagery that wouldn’t be amiss on ‘Blonde On Blonde’, and feels like a dream sequence that ends with waking up alone and confused. The walking bass in the background and soft acoustic strumming create a relaxed and almost floaty tune that only elevates the vivid lyrics. As this is the ‘divorce’ album, the song ends with the lover being gone and Dylan deep in regret, and whilst he says this record is based on the work of Chekhov, I believe this is how Bob viewed and dealt with his separation. Sara came into his life through fate, and he let her slip through his fingers, it’s a moving song that is drenched in a need to understand the confusing and painful side of love.

3) You’re A Big Girl Now - Bob is begging for forgiveness here, promising to change and asking to be taken back as he sings through tears. I do take issue with the idea of Bob saying it pains him to see Sara walking away from him given his infidelity, however he does accept that it is entirely her decision and he is pleading his case. Ultimately, despite the brilliant performance Bob gives of desperation and pain, along with some great piano and guitar playing from his band, I do think this is the weakest song on the album due to the lyrics bordering on self pitying. It’s still a great song, I just don’t think Dylan comes across the best here. The rest of the record focuses on either anger, sadness, or regret, whereas here it seems he’s focusing on himself and almost being absolved of his own wrongdoings.

4) Idiot Wind - Though Bob claims this isn’t about the causes of the breakdown of his marriage, I think we all can take that to mean that it definitely is. It also happens to be the best song on the album, Bob is snarling his way through an epic poem of accusations and falsehoods, betrayal and bitterness. It harks back to his finger pointing songs of 10 years earlier, and it doesn’t hold punches against the press and those who had been circulating rumours about both him and Sara. It’s fucking amazing, Bob sounds genuinely enraged and yet also confused at the exaggerated actions he’s having to defend or downplay. Not only are the lyrics both chaotic and fascinating, the organ playing is superb. Throughout the 7:47 minute song, every time Bob sings ‘Idiot Wind’ it’s like a direct insult to those who meddled in his relationship, as well as another nail in the coffin of his once happy marriage.

5) You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go - It’s been argued as to whom was making Bob lonesome, is it Sara or his Columbia girlfriend? Either way, it’s quite a happy sounding song that’s actually a heartbreaking tale of loss and reluctance to accept life moving on. Bob invokes the poets Verlaine and Rimbaud’s turbulent relationship, with Bob very much being the Rimbaud of the 20th Century, to describe the breakdown of love and happiness leading to feeling alone and self-reflection. As with the whole album, the backing band sound great alongside Bob’s relaxed vocal style and joyous harmonica, and the song creates a tragic feeling of putting on a brave, upbeat facade as life goes on. It’s undeniably becoming much sadder and, as the title suggests, much more lonesome, but Bob attempts to carry on and learn from his mistakes. It’s a hard message to convey in under 3 minutes, but Bob’s pained and honest writing from this period manages it perfectly.

6) Meet Me In The Morning - Musically, this is the best song on the album. All the instruments have a brilliant bluesy feel to them, and Dylan’s voice matches this style, with his nasal tone elongating phrases and making him sound like the blues singers of old. From what I can gather, the protagonist of the song is asking his lover to a rendezvous, but waits from dawn to dusk with no appearance from her. Throughout the song he wishes they could be elsewhere, and compares his love and longing to the darkness of the night and the setting of the sun. It’s a difficult song to unpack as Dylan is the master of mysterious and metaphorical storytelling, but understanding every line really doesn’t matter here. The song itself is a joy to listen to, proving that Dylan shouldn’t just be applauded for his lyricism, but also his ability to compose and record with various musicians to achieve a specific and memorable sound.

7) Lily, Rosemary And The Jack Of Hearts - I’ll quickly mention that Dylan and his harmonica sound amazing on this song, as do the backing band who evoke the sound and atmosphere of the cabarets of old. However, it would be impossible to do the lyrics to this song justice in one small paragraph. This song is the ‘Desolation Row’ of the album, a sprawling epic poem featuring a host of characters in various criminal and romantic encounters. It’s an incredible piece of work, more interesting and exciting than most of what we see on the silver screen. I urge you to fully immerse yourself into the world Dylan creates here, as for nearly 9 minutes, he and his band weave a perfect story worthy of Homer.

8) If You See Her, Say Hello - This song reminds me of ‘Girl From The North Country’. It’s about passing on well wishes to a former lover, letting them know you’re still thinking about them, even though they’ve left your life and moved on. The lyrics are heartbreaking, as Bob remarks that the love still burns within him, but he wants to ensure this information isn’t passed on to her. A brilliantly moving and desperate song once again, with another beautiful backing arrangement and a pained voice longing to rekindle what he has lost.

9) Shelter From The Storm - A love song that focuses on being saved, clearly Bob is talking about Sara and his needing to be rescued from the hurricane of fame, drugs, and parting of 1965 when they met. It’s a romantic story featuring religious imagery, showing Bob’s true feelings towards how he viewed himself and the period of life that was now being ripped apart by his actions. The near angelical way he describes Sara, and his ending thoughts on how he still feels about her nurturing and caring personality, are a far cry from some of the earlier tracks on the album, but this feels like perhaps the most personal song on the record. The stripped back instrumentation allow the bittersweet lyrics to take centre stage, with Bob again sounding much more mature and accessible with his relaxed vocal style. Whilst this version is incredible, I’d also recommend the live 1976 recording on ‘Hard Rain’. The song is much rockier, Bob barks the lyrics, and it sounds fucking brilliant.

10) Buckets Of Rain - The album closes with a genuinely lovely track, both simple and sweet as it addresses a lover. The melody is delicate and Dylan’s singing is soft and full of warmth. There’s not much else to say about this beautiful song, other than it feels like Bob showing us that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that everything will work out in the end.

Verdict: I could happily just listen to this album until the day I die. If Dylan going electric is the most important musical moment of the 1960s, then this release is the 1970s equivalent. It’s pure art, it captures a feeling most struggle to internally process, let alone articulate in such a poetic and moving way at only 33 years old. The lyricism on this one record alone proves Bob is the greatest poet of the 20th Century. Even the outtakes from this album, especially ‘Up To Me’, are better than most artists creative peak. This may be Dylan’s most personal record (despite his insistence that it is not autobiographical), and I imagine it will be studied for centuries to come as his magnum opus. In typical Bob style, he would bizarrely head out on an exhaustive tour called the ‘Rolling Thunder Revue’, playing at small venues with a band that resembled a circus show, whilst his family life continued to disintegrate. But before he managed to capture the spirit of these carnival-esque performances, he gave permission for some mythical recordings from 1967 to finally be released.

#bob dylan #blood on the tracks

2 notes · View notes

fmdjaewonarchive · 3 years

Text

► run away.

date(s): december 2020 mentions of: n/a word count: +/- 1.7k words (+/- 1k words w/ lyrics on songwriting, +/- 700 words on the composition) warnings: mentions of anxiety and general mental health problems details: full lyrics and full composition verification for run away, 2/3 verifications for jaewon’s upcoming album escapism. jaewon tries to prove he’s capable of writing music that’s worthy of the titletrack status and in doing so tries to branch out from what he’s used to, blending together what he knows works for him uncharted territory. all in all, things could have gone worse (a/n: i don’t know shit about composing pls take all of this with a grain of salt.)

by default, park jaewon is a creature of habit, prefers to find one set way to do things that works for him and deviate as little as possible from that. he likes certainty and avoiding unnecessary risk, anything to leave as little room for error as possible. making mistake might be a learning experience but not with how dead terrified jaewon is of doing things wrong, how he doesn’t know how to face failure without it determining his entire sense of selfworth.

songwriting is no different from that. most of the time jaewon writes, it’s structurally planned, deadlines and expectations to be met firmly in place, his work method like clockwork, almost mechanical. it doesn’t sound very profound, it definitely doesn’t suit the mental image most people have of the turbulent, disordered creative process of a real artist. not like jaewon can bring himself to care about whether or not his songwriting methods are deemed deep or profound enough in the eyes of other people, he had better things to care about.

like the album dimensions wanted him to write on short notice.

not that jaewon is complaining, everything but, getting his creative freedom back, it has been a long grueling process to get to this point but he is on a bit of a time crunch here. ‘our songs’ has only ended a mere couple of days ago but with a tentative release date of late winter to early spring, jaewon has his work cut out for him.

in such a time crunch, it makes sense to stick to his usual routine, go with what he is used to.

except jaewon doesn’t.

maybe ‘our songs’ has him feeling experimental for once, maybe he doesn’t want to risk falling victim to not only old habits but also old pitfalls, he’s not really sure what it is but for once, he starts with the lyrics.

that shouldn’t be very remarkable, not for most artists, but jaewon has already religiously stuck to his order of first creating an instrumental and then fitting his lyrical content to it rather than the other way around, starting from zero on that is quite the step, for him at least.

this song, it’s supposed to be title track material, to set the tone for the entire album straight away. if he gets this right by both his own standards and dimensions’, he gets to more or less free range on crafting this album to his liking. and to jaewon, lyrical content has always outweighed sound, as nice as a good beat is, it’s the content of a song that he identifies with, that he feels proudest of.

so writing a song about a breakup doesn’t seem evident.

run away, back off from me run away, far away from me

because that’s what it seems to shape up to be at first glance when he starts writing, themes of heartache, putting distance between yourself and your lover because as much as it might hurt on short notice, it will be the better option long term. and maybe it’s about that too, life isn’t clear cut one thing or the other so why should music be.

but it isn’t primarily that.

because the urge to run away isn’t an unfamiliar sensation to jaewon, it’s the thrum of anxiety under his skin, the voice in the back of his mind keeping him hyper aware of how awful of a person he is, how he fails those around him.

at the end of the day, that’s what he wants to run away from most.

if there is anyone he wants to take as much distance from as possible, it’s himself.

go away so you get out of my sight let me forget everything from your name to your face so that when I’m looking for you while i’m drunk i can’t recognize you even when you are right up close i will give up while i am looking

so maybe it is a break-up song. it’s undoubtedly a break-up song. but not about breaking off from other people.

it’s cutting ties with his past self, who he has been, with the years bitterness that have culminated in hurtful habits and patterns.

i will run away first along the torn shapes before sadness will take place and harden up i’ll run away

he’s not broken away from them completely yet. park jaewon would never have to gal to call himself a good person, it would be a bald-faced lie. but even he has to admit that there has been progress.

he might not be there yet but it’s something. that gets to be said as well right? it’s been a gruelling process so far, he gets to celebrate the small victories.

it reminds him of when he wrote ‘rebirth’ for his first album, almost two years ago at this point. back then, ‘rebirth’ had been a starting point, the turn around to doing better. sure, he wasn’t at the finish yet but he had moved forward, that was something.

something is good, a lot better than he has gotten a lot of previous years.

that in itself made it worthy of its own song really.

you’ve gone a long way into thin air the sun has gone down without looking back even once

finishing the first draft feels like a burden relieved, a weight taken off his shoulder as he has gained the perspective to reflect back on what has been.

his flaws are still plenty, he could never deny that. jaewon doubts he’ll ever grow out of all of them, some parts carved into his personality that he doubts he’ll ever be able to take them out.

but for now he’s still moving forward, still growing and everyone past scar healed over is one, one step closer to finding some semblance of peace within himself, within his own person.

all he has to do is keep running.

---------------

with a rough draft of the lyrics done, he still needs an instrumental and for that, he trades the comfort of his home studio for one of the more richly equipped ones in the dimensions headquarters. it feels a bit silly to make a distinction but jaewon always prefered writing from home and composing from within the company building, both surroundings better tailored to a different part of the creative process. or well in his experience at least.

it takes some fumbling, the kind of awkward stumble that comes with deviating from old habits and making up a plan as one goes. matching melody to lyrics rather than words to melody are most definitely not the same thing but just reversed, jaewon quickly learns the hard way, especially not in a rap track where really, the flow can make or break the whole thing.

so it’s a bit of a struggle, the first few hours fiddling around with sounds and beats that ultimately lead to nothing, that turns out he doesn’t know how to mold to his lyrics in a way that leaves him satisfied.

but like with most things in life, there is a learning curve. with every bit he scraps, he comes closer to the sound he’s actually searching for.

and jaewon makes a genuine effort to branch out, try something new for a change. much like his lyrics, his usual composing also falls victim to sticking too closely to what he’s familiar with, deep, muted sounds to convey the somber undertone of his lyrics, a slow drawl to instrumental, mainly focussing on drums and bass lines, moody and dark.

so this time, his instruments of choice are synths. different types of synths at different points, trying his best to branch out, create an instrumental that’s fun and surprisingly at all turns but in essence, when one dumbs it down, the main theme is truly just… synths.

that’s not a bad thing, it is breaching out of his comfort zone for sure. funnily enough, the more he works on it, the more the instrumental reminds him of something that could have been on his previous album. ironic, considering jaewon spent the better part of the year loathing ‘love language’ with every fiber of his being.

looking back on it with a fresh perspective, jaewon has to admit that while he didn’t like the music for himself, far too flashy and corny. but in terms of playing around with the composition and production, whoever had worked on that album (jaewon doesn’t know, it sure wasn’t him) was a lot more creative than he was.

surely he can do something like that on his own devices as well right? surely he can branch out from his typical song structure and prove he’s grown as a composer.

the bounce of the synths and the bass has a cosmic feel to it, the flow of the song twisting at every turn where sections bleed into another with bells and trinkets attached to the transitions.

for added effect, jaewon records the whistling curling around the edges of the verses that ties them to an end before shifting into the chorus himself, by the time he’s done putting them through editing it doesn’t sound all that human anymore, morphed into something more surreal sounding, blending into that not-quite terrestrial vibe that seems to arch over the song.

the drop in the chorus is hardly creative, jaewon doubts a beat drop can still be at this point but it does add to the immersion of the song, like getting your head dunked in a bath of ice water, stripping down on the whimsical rhythm patterns laced through the verses and stripping down to raw desperation of the song, the harrowing undertone of running for your life.

he adds bits and pieces like that, layer by layer, until the song itself sounds just as meticulously thought out as the lyrics rather than just a bare structure built underneath them.

when he gives the draft a final reason before sending it off to the creative department, jaewon can’t help but think he never created something that sounds so complete before.

#fmdverification #*:･ﾟ♛– «filled with all these empty moments» // solos.#//only one left thank the fucking heavens #anxiety tw #mental health tw #«escapism // era.»

2 notes · View notes

chipsandcoffee · 4 years

Text

Whouffaldi Fanfic

“You Sound Like a Song”

Post-Hell-Bent, fix-it of sorts, memory loss, confessions, angst, romance, eternal love, s10 spoilers, canon compliant (well technically at least), cameo appearance by Bill Potts

Also on AO3 at this link.

______________

He knew her name was Clara. He knew they’d travelled together. But that was all he knew.

The list of things the Doctor didn't know about Clara was so much longer and went so much deeper, prodding away at him from a restless corner of his mind. What was she like? What had they meant to each other? Why would he have wiped the memory of her from his mind? And the one question that troubled him most: what had happened to her?

He ruminated on these questions yet again as he slumped in a leather armchair in his office at St. Luke's University, absent-mindedly strumming his guitar. He often felt a sense of melancholy on these solitary nights. Nothing was sad until it was over, he thought. Then everything was.

He had spent a long time trying to look for Clara (being stuck on Earth for a number of years hadn’t stopped him, for he was based where she was most likely to be). Of course he didn't know who he was looking for (hadn't someone told him that once?), but he believed he would know her if he met her again, and she would surely know him. But it had never happened. And he’d never heard a word from her.

He'd eventually reached the most logical and painful conclusion: she was dead. She'd likely been dead all along, even before he’d erased her from his memory (he could tell he’d used a neural block, could feel the sensation of a hole in his mind where something ought to be). Maybe that was why he'd taken the drastic step of eliminating those memories in the first place: her death had simply been too painful for him to bear.

He obviously had no idea how Clara had died, but he had the painful feeling that it had somehow been his fault. Hers was probably another life cut tragically short because of him, just like too many other people he’d been close to.

Indeed, he’d experienced more than his fair share of loss over his long life, and the last few decades had certainly been no exception. River had gone to her inevitable death shortly before he’d arrived in Bristol (at least by his timeline). He’d also very nearly presided over the execution of Missy before rescuing his oldest friend and bringing her to St. Luke’s. But for reasons he couldn’t quite grasp, the very idea of Clara being dead made his hearts ache in a way nothing else did. Perhaps more than anything else ever had.

It was strange grieving for someone he didn’t remember. His grief after losing River had made sense to him, and he’d been able to move on from it (even if Nardole, devoted to River as always, continued to assume that any sign of sorrow from the Doctor was connected to his late wife). But he had a vague, shapeless sense of loss deep in his bones that he knew, he just knew, was the grief he was still carrying for Clara. He obsessed over the unknown and unknowable details of her life, their life, and her presumed death.

His grief frequently bubbled up to the surface when he played his guitar. In fact, as he sat there in the shadows of his office, he realized that he'd once again started playing a variation of a song from long ago that he knew was called “Clara.” Bill was always curious about that tune, but he'd never told her its true title. How would he begin to explain the story behind it when he didn’t understand it himself?

The Doctor suddenly recalled with regret that he’d been rather curt with Bill earlier that day when she'd teased him that that particular song was the only one he knew how to play. He thought maybe he should say something to her by way of apology when he saw her again. He also knew he was rubbish at such conversations, so he reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and fished out the stack of dog-eared index cards that he relied on for such occasions. He'd had them for many years, each card a neatly-written sentence that he could use in tricky social situations (which for him was most social situations). One of his companions had probably made them for him at some point, but he couldn't remember who. He liked to imagine they came from Clara, that he still had something tangible left of her that he carried with him. He wondered if she would have liked that.

The Doctor put his guitar aside, ran his hand down his face, and started pacing around his office. All this brooding wasn't doing him any good. He needed a distraction. He paused, fingers drumming on his desk, as his eyes fell on his TARDIS parked in the corner following his last outing with Bill. He'd been thinking recently that the timeship’s interface stabilizer could use an upgrade; that would keep him busy for a while. But he’d need to get his hands on a few parts first. He considered his options.

His favourite place to get spare parts for the TARDIS was at a marketplace on the planet Haligonia. Of course Nardole would give him grief if he found out that the Doctor had travelled off world, but Nardole was currently occupied with tinkering with the locks on the vault deep under St. Luke’s and likely would be for a while. The Doctor could be gone and back before Nardole knew he’d left. He rubbed his hands together, his decision made. He pushed open the TARDIS doors.

A few minutes later, the Doctor was strolling through the bustling marketplace on 48th-century Haligonia. The planet was a human colony, but the well-known market attracted shoppers of a variety of species from all over the galaxy. It was a warm, sunny day, and the breeze carried smells of local street foods as he made his way past vendors selling everything from the latest tech gadgets to exotic jewellery to flowers of every possible colour.

Soon enough he spotted the parts dealer’s stall. As he approached it he noticed there was a rather spirited conversation going on between the tall, burly dealer and a petite young woman. The customer was dark-haired and wore a black leather jacket with a well-worn satchel slung over her shoulder. Her clear voice stood out over the din of the market, and as the Doctor walked up behind her, he could hear her haggling over the price of something.

“Come on, this would've cost less when it was new than what you’re asking for it now.”

The dealer folded his arms. “Yeah, well life’s not fair, lady. And if you can find it new somewhere else, feel free to buy it there.”

“Fine,” she said nonchalantly, “I will then.” The woman spun around and began striding off, nearly walking into the Doctor.

“Sorry,” she said, glancing up at him. She did a double take and suddenly froze, staring at him, her strikingly large eyes becoming impossibly larger. She stood stock still for a long moment. “Doctor,” she breathed.

He peered down at her, knitting his eyebrows and squinting slightly. “Have we met?”

“Yeah, yeah we've met,” she said faintly, sounding dazed. She continued to stare at him, and now her eyes were starting to look distinctly watery.

The Doctor became increasingly concerned that this stranger might inexplicably burst into tears right in front of him, a prospect that he found rather frightening. He reached into his pocket for his social cue cards in a desperate attempt to find something to say that might diffuse whatever was happening.

He found one of his frequently-used cards, and recited, “I apologize for not recognizing you. I am a time traveller and I sometimes meet people out of order.”

The woman tore her eyes away from the Doctor's face to look at what he was holding. However, much to the Doctor's horror the card had only made things worse, as she had clasped her hand over her mouth and a tear trickled down her face.

“I, um,” he spluttered, his arms flailing.

The woman suddenly seemed to snap out of her emotional state and darted her eyes around the marketplace, as though searching for an escape route. “I'm um, I'm so sorry,” she said, trying unsuccessfully to smile. “Have a good day.” And with that she turned and strode away without a backwards glance.

The Doctor felt somewhat relieved that this problematic encounter appeared to have resolved itself. But he also felt responsible for upsetting this person, and he found himself chasing after her through the crowd of shoppers.

“You there,” he said, starting to catch up to her. “Are you okay?”

He thought she must not have heard him, because she kept on walking. But then she came to a sudden halt, and the Doctor had to stop himself from running into her from behind. After a moment’s hesitation, she turned around, her face somehow conveying trepidation and relief at the same time. The Doctor was baffled how she managed to do that.

The woman heaved a long sigh. “I am so sick of hiding from you.” The Doctor frowned as she stepped towards him, the crowd swirling around them. “The reason I recognize you but you don't recognize me isn't because of time travel. It's because you’ve forgotten me.” She paused for a second and wiped away a tear. “You, um, you chose to forget me.”

The Doctor felt as though his hearts had stopped and that all the blood had drained from his face. His mouth fell slightly open. Some distant part of his brain thought he must look like he'd seen a ghost. To him he had.

“Clara,” he whispered. It wasn't a question. He knew somehow, he was certain who she was.

“Yeah,” she whispered in return, gazing into his eyes.

“You're not dead,” he blurted out, immediately realizing how ridiculous that sounded.

“Yeah,” she frowned. “Why? Have you remembered--”

“I haven't remembered anything. I'd just… guessed. That-- that you were dead.”

Clara looked into the Doctor’s eyes and he immediately felt like she could see into his soul, into every lonely, hopeless night he’d spent grieving for her. Her face grew concerned.

“Oh, Doctor.” She reached up and laid her hand on his cheek, and the Doctor surprised himself by not flinching under her touch. “I think we should talk.”

______________

A few minutes later, the Doctor found himself incredibly, miraculously sitting with Clara at a small table in the corner of a quiet cafe on a back street near the marketplace, a steaming mug of herbal tea in front of each of them. They sat in silence at first as they stole glances at one another and tried to figure out how to navigate this strange situation.

“I like your coat,” Clara started, nodding at the blue-lined black velvet jacket he'd favoured of late.

“Oh, um, thanks.” He felt himself blushing. He wasn't used to people saying that sort of thing to him. Another moment passed and he asked, “How did you travel here?”

“In my TARDIS,” she answered easily, as though that were something that humans did all the time.

“What?” He was flabbergasted. “You have a TARDIS? How?”

Clara sighed. “Oh, this is going to be a very long story, Doctor.”

Several cups of tea later, Clara had told the Doctor the story of their final days together: the raven on Trap Street, the Doctor pulling Clara from her time stream on Gallifrey (which partly explained the vague memories he’d had of being trapped for a very long time in his confession dial), and her escape in a stolen TARDIS (oddly with the immortal woman Ashildr).

Once Clara had finished her story, the Doctor sat in stunned silence, attempting to make sense of it all, of the extreme lengths he'd gone to for Clara. He tried to wrap his mind around the idea that he’d actually plucked this woman from her time stream right before her death. And here she sat, still time-looped. Still, in essence, alive.

“You know how to fly a TARDIS?” It probably wasn’t the most important question, but it’s the one that popped out of his mouth.

“Yeah,” she laughed, her eyes twinkling, and the Doctor thought her laugh was perhaps the loveliest thing he’d ever heard. “I picked up a thing or two in the years we travelled together.”

The Doctor was impressed. “So how long has it been for you since you last saw me?”

“Oh, um, I'm not sure anymore. A while back I stopped keeping track of how long it’d been. It was--” She paused, lowering her eyes, a hint of pain crossing her face. She cleared her throat, met his eye again and continued, “I figured that was for the best. But I guess it must be close to a hundred years now.”

The Doctor raised his eyebrows slightly. "I think it's almost exactly the same for me."

The corners of Clara's mouth quirked up. "Yeah, that's just the way things seem to go with us. We've always been… connected, somehow.”

“What have you been doing all that time?”

“Oh you know, flying about a bit, watching the odd star being born, saving the odd planet.”

The Doctor couldn't help but laugh at Clara's jokingly casual tone, and he marvelled to himself at this amazing woman. But there was an important issue that Clara hadn’t yet explained.

“So why don’t I remember you, Clara? Based on the type of amnesia that I experienced, I’m guessing that I used a neural block of some sort?”

Clara’s face turned serious and she glanced down.

“Um, yeah, you did.” She gave a puzzled frown. “It's weird though, I saw you shortly after the neural block, and you seemed to remember a bit more than you do now. At least some of what had happened on Gallifrey.”

“Ah, well it's not uncommon in the early stages following a neural block to be left with some disjointed shards of memories. Over time, if the brain can't process those fragments, they're forgotten. It's sort of like forgetting a dream shortly after awakening.”

“Right, okay.”

The Doctor searched her face. “Clara, why did I use a neural block to forget you?”

Clara looked upwards as if searching for inspiration on how to respond to the Doctor’s question, tears threatening in her eyes again. She took a deep breath.

“It wasn't meant to be you, not at first.”

“What do you mean?”

“You, um, you were going to use the neural block on me. You thought I'd be safer from the Time Lords if I didn't remember you.”

The Doctor frowned in confusion. “So what happened?”

Clara lowered her eyes. “I used your sonic sunglasses to reverse the polarity on the neural blocker when you weren't looking.”

“You what?”

“I didn't want it to go off on you, I just didn't want you to use it on me.” She began to raise her voice while a tear spilled down her face. “I didn't want you to use it at all, I told you what I'd done!”

Her voice broke and she paused, catching her breath and wiping her face. The Doctor felt a rush of sympathy and heartache for her. He realized that as difficult as it had been for him to live with his missing memories, Clara had suffered too, in a different way: she'd had to carry around the weight of everything they'd been through, while he had been blissfully ignorant.

Clara continued, speaking more quickly as she got through the rest of her story. “So. You didn't know at that point what would happen when the button on the blocker was pressed. That's when you suggested that we both press the button together, knowing that one of us would forget the other, but not knowing which one. Better than flipping a coin, you said.” Clara dropped her gaze and her voice fell to nearly a whisper. “And I guess you kind of lost the coin toss.”

The Doctor watched Clara for a moment, her head bowed. Then he found himself leaning forward and placing his hand on hers. Clara looked up at him, surprised at the contact.

“I'm sorry,” he said.

“For what?”

“For everything, I guess. For forgetting you. For trying to make you forget me. I'm sorry that you feel bad about what happened with my memories, because it wasn't your fault, Clara. We knew the risks and we pressed that button together.”

She squeezed his hand, a hint of relief on her face.

“You didn't say why I thought one of us needed to forget the other,” the Doctor continued. “But I think I'm starting to understand. Everything I did, the confession dial, the extraction chamber, my plan to hide you away and make you forget me.” The Doctor felt his hearts stirring as he now wrapped Clara's hand in both of his. “I think I would have torn the sky apart for you, Clara Oswald. And I think I knew that.”

A sad smile crossed Clara's face. “And I would have done the same for you.”

The Doctor and Clara gazed silently at each other, her small hand wrapped in his two, lost in the universe that was each other's eyes.

After a while Clara swallowed, leaned forward, and spoke in a quiet voice. “Doctor, there's one more thing I still haven't told you. When you and I were on Gallifrey, we sat together in the Cloisters, and I told you something important, something I'd never told you before.” Clara took her free hand and laid it on top of his, her eyes round and sparkling. “I told you that I loved you. That I'd always loved you and I always would, and that I wished I'd told you a long time ago. That maybe if I had, things would have turned out differently.”

The Doctor had been surprised by many things Clara had told him that day, but somehow her declaration of love wasn't one of them. He’d known it, felt it, from the moment he'd met her in the market outside.

“And how did I respond?” he whispered, scarcely breathing.

Clara gave another sad smile and shook her head. “You didn't. That was the moment you got the service hatch open and, well, we had to keep running.”

“Ah,” was all he could think of to say.

“Yeah. We’ve had a lot of bad timing, you and me.”

As if to emphasize the point, the cafe owner at that moment walked by their table and turned off the “open” sign in the window, pointedly clearing his throat as he did so.The Doctor glanced around and realized that he and Clara had been alone in the cafe for quite some time.

“I think we’re being kicked out,” Clara whispered loudly, her eyes twinkling.

“Looks like it,” the Doctor replied with a crooked grin.

Outside, the Haligonian night had fallen, and the streets were nearly empty. The planet's two champagne-coloured moons shone overhead, and the air felt damp and cool after the warmth of the day. The Doctor and Clara wandered together through the town for a while, swapping tales of adventures and wild escapes, their bursts of laughter ringing through the stillness of the evening. The streets and laneways they walked eventually gave way to a green, park-like area on the edge of town where the scent of blossoming trees drifted through the night air. The Doctor wished they could keep walking forever, but as his TARDIS came into view in the moonlight, he was reminded that their magical day had to come to an end.

They walked together across the dewy grass and stopped near his blue box, standing in an uncertain silence, the only sound a nocturnal bird calling in the distance. Clara finally spoke. “So what happens now? Me and you, what do we do now?” The hint of tears glistening in her eyes told the Doctor that she probably already knew the answer.

“Oh, Clara. I don't even need my memories to know that there’s nothing in this universe I’d like more than to travel with you again. But I said today that I would have torn the sky apart for you all those years ago, and I know in my hearts I still would. And that you’d still do the same for me.”

He took a step closer to her. “Everything you’ve told me, everything I can see and feel now tells me that we were amazing together. But also that we were dangerous. And I don't think there’s any way to stop that from happening again, because of who we are, and because of--” He paused and took a deep breath. “And because of how we feel about each other.”

Clara looked down and nodded, a tear falling to the ground. “Yeah,” she whispered.

The Doctor tenderly placed his hand on Clara’s cheek, and she looked up at him. Clara had told him so much that day. Now there was something he felt he had to tell her, something that was burning within him. He wasn't going to let the opportunity pass him by again, not this time.

“Clara, I never got the chance to respond to you in the Cloisters, and I know a lot of time has passed since then and I’ve forgotten so much. But I know, I’m certain of one thing. I loved you, Clara Oswald. I loved you-- I love you with both my hearts. And I always will.”

Clara smiled up at him, even as another tear rolled down her cheek. The Doctor wiped away the tear with his thumb, feeling dizzy with the emotions swirling inside him. He found himself slowly leaning towards her, feeling a pull as irresistible and inevitable as gravity, as Clara ran her hand up his arm. Their lips met in a soft, heartfelt kiss. To the Doctor it felt surprisingly natural, right, perfect. It felt like the long-awaited conclusion to a conversation begun 100 years ago.

The Doctor stepped back and took Clara's hand as he stood there smiling softly at her, warmth and contentment infusing his body. She smiled back at him, all dimples and shiny eyes.

“I’m really glad I got to see you, Doctor.”

“I’m really glad I got to see you too, Clara Oswald.”

But his smile faltered as the reality of his situation sunk in. Clara frowned.

“What’s wrong, Doctor?”

He released her hand and sighed. “My neural block, Clara. I don’t know what'll happen when I leave tonight. Seeing you today, talking to you, learning all about you, about us. I don’t want to forget any of it, not again. But my brain has blocked my memories of you for a very long time, and I'm afraid it'll do it again.”

Clara’s face was filled with concern. “There must be something we can do.”

He shook his head and half-shrugged his shoulders.

Clara’s eyes lit up. “Hang on, I have an idea.” She tucked her hair behind her ears and opened her satchel. After some rummaging around, she pulled out a small cardboard box and opened it. “I carry these around with me. They still come in handy for all kinds of things.”

______________

Bill started packing up her things as the day’s tutorial with the Doctor wrapped up.

The Doctor was sitting behind his massive desk, continuing to flip through the book they'd been discussing. “And don’t forget that your research paper on laser-cooled ions is due tomorrow.”

Bill rolled her eyes good naturedly. “Don’t worry, you’ll get it.”

“Good.” The Doctor tried to look stern, but he had a feeling he wasn’t quite pulling it off. Tossing aside the book, he stood and picked up his guitar from the chair where he'd left it, wandering around his office as he played the song that he now knew was named for the woman he loved.

Bill paused as she walked towards the door. “Don't think I've heard that version before. It's, I dunno, cheerier.”

The Doctor smiled to himself. “Good night, Bill.”

“‘Night, Doctor. See ya tomorrow.”

Now alone, the Doctor played for a while longer before setting his guitar down. He relaxed into his favourite armchair and reflected on how different things were for him since his trip to Haligonia a few weeks earlier. He could still remember much of his wondrous encounter with Clara, though some of the details were growing hazy, almost as though the whole thing had been a dream. Sometimes he thought maybe it had been a dream. But whenever that unsettling feeling arose, he would do as he did now. He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a small stack of index cards. Some were old and dog-eared, but some were new. All of them had the same neat handwriting, and now he knew whose handwriting it was.

He picked out the new cards. The one on top read, “Clara is alive and doing well. She wants you to be happy.” He gave a contented sigh. The next two were his favourites.

“Clara loves you. She always has and always will.”

“You told Clara that you love her, and she will always cherish that.”

He smiled even as his eyes felt wet with tears (perhaps he was malfunctioning). He gazed at the cards for a long time, his fingers running lightly over the words.

He knew her name was Clara. He knew they’d travelled together. He knew she was still out there, exploring the universe. He knew they'd loved each other deeply and truly, and they always would.

He also knew that nothing was sad until it was over. And he and Clara would never be over. Not in his hearts, not ever.

______________

Thank you for reading! This is my first fic and any feedback would be very welcome and appreciated!

#i'm so nervous/excited to finally publish this #my first fic #whouffaldi #fanfic #fan fiction #my fanfic

29 notes · View notes