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becsabillion4 · 3 months

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take it out on me (carmen berzatto x reader)

so this is my first time posting a fic of mine on tumblr since i was 14 and i'm slightly terrified by the formatting but i posted this on ao3 yesterday and someone told me to post here too (<3) so i hope you all enjoy it as much as i enjoy the thought of getting pounded by carmy in the walk-in

pairing : carmen berzatto x f!reader

summary : Carmy is having a terrible service, and you're sure some time in the walk-in will help him cool off (although it gets hotter in there than you might think).

word count : 4,410

tags: SMUT, rough sex, angry sex, unprotected sex, fingering, creampie, choking, semi-public sex, ending with soft carmy which makes it all okay, 18+ only

note: this is explicit 18+ only and also this is NOT an advert for safe sex, it is merely a fantasy i have been playing with since my own days as a waitress and carmy has helped me to realise it. also i'm obsessed and i know y'all degenerates won't send help so instead i ask that you send me asks so i can write more about this wonderful man

Disorienting. Overwhelming. Stressful, painful, unrelenting. Burning your hand hard enough for it to stick to the pan, hard enough that you know on the way to the sink it’s too late, that you’ll bear the scar of that mistake for the rest of your life. Knives slicing always so close to your skin, living on the point of pain, focus trained so hard on the blade you can’t even blink. Shouting, screaming, the place could be on fire, and you wouldn’t look up from the art you’re creating. Flames licking at your apron. Beautiful.

Kitchens are the prison and the heart of a chef, and the one at The Bear is currently the pride and the bane of your life. Plating up your one billionth focaccia of the evening as Marcus rushes by holding a tray of cannolis aloft, you try to tune out Sydney shouting instructions to the new servers, trying to drill something, anything, into their panicked, under-developed skulls.

But none of this worries you. What worries you is the ominous, creeping silence from the station to your right, where you know Carmy is cooking up not only the best food you’ve ever tasted, but an internal storm that is going to be unleashed any, second, now-

“Chefs! Where the fuck is my garnish? Tina, are you dead? ‘Cos you need to wake the fuck back up.”

Tina is already by Carmy’s side with the garnish, but the damage is done. She doesn’t bristle at his words, but shoots you a worried look as she slides by, murmuring, “Sorry, Chefs. Behind.”

Since you started working at The Bear six months back, you’ve witnessed a rare few Carmy outbursts, and you know everyone feels the same way when they happen. It’s like the moment you miss a step on familiar stairs, stomach lurching and fear sweeping through your body. Carmy is this kitchen, and his boiling point is the moment things tend to spin out of control.

And yet, Tina’s reaction is everyone’s; disappointment in herself, instant forgiveness because she knows Carmy is doing everything he can for this team. Last week, after you and Sydney spent the evening getting wasted on her couch, she’d confessed to you how hard Carmy took his notorious opening night failure, and how he’s been struggling to make up for it since then. And it’s been working; his kindness, patience, and passion for elevating those around him have always outshone the occasional harsh word during service.

But this service is just bad. It’s been bad since 5AM, when you got here to take in the delivery and found out that the grapes needed for the welcome broth had somehow been left off of the order. It’s been bad since Marcus ruined three batches of cannolis in a row, and when Sydney tried to touch his shoulder and ask him what was going on, he stormed out. Since Sydney snapped at Richie for singing Taylor Swift badly during family. The hundred little underlying frissons of tension that normally dissipate as soon as service rolls around have congealed today, like oil in balsamic vinegar, rubbing together but refusing to meld into the team you know everyone can be.

And you know Carmy can feel it. His anger is a physical thing beside you, like standing next to a hot pan with too much oil in it and just waiting for it to start spitting at you. Knowing you have to keep stirring it anyway.

“Four top, two steak, one bucatini, one fish,” Sydney rattles off, and everyone responds “Yes, Chef!” a little too loud.

“Can I get some hands for this focaccia,” you shout through the din, pushing the two boards forward, but nobody responds. “Hands, please, get these off my station before I eat ‘em!” you call, trying to bring some levity to the atmosphere before-

“Hands, fuckin’ hands, Chefs, FUCK!” Carmy explodes, appearing by your side so suddenly you almost jump. His hands hover over the foccacia boards like he wants to adjust something on them, fix something, but you know as well as he does that they’re perfect already.

And of course, this just makes things worse.

Carmy properly looks up for the first time, straightening out of the “chef about to have an aneurysm over plating this fish” posture and into his “everyone here is about to get fucked” pose. “These are good to go, why are we not? Jesus. Jesus fucking Christ. Go fuck yourselves-” one of the new waitresses approaches with trembling hands and Carmy pushes the boards at her, disgusted, almost taking them over the edge of the pass, “-all of you, what is the point of any of us being here if nothing is leaving the fucking kitchen!”

“Carm, it’s okay, they’re going out,” you can’t help cutting in, but you should know better than to try to soothe a wild animal. Carmy doesn’t say anything, turns back to plating up his fish, but his beautiful artist’s hands, which you often find yourself trying to draw in the margins of inventory checks, are shaking now. You’ve never seen him this bad. The whole kitchen waits on a knife edge. You glance up, watching the waitress leave with your focaccia, and have a brief but fervent desire to be her as the doors swing her out of this hellhole.

The fish is beautiful as Carmy puts the finishing touches to it. A server steps up to take it as other dishes for the same table coalesce at the front of stations, all elegant, all perfect, all more than worthy of the restaurant’s Michelin star.

Carmy is completely still. Staring. And you know it’s too late.

Plunging his fist down, he crushes the fish into sea-scented pulp. The shells of oysters, hand-selected, crack into broken-mirror shards; the sauce is peppered with shoddy scraps of lobster tail.

It’s still not enough for Carmy, as he picks up the plate and sends it spinning into the back wall, narrowly missing Sweeps’ head. “ Shit, ” Carmy mutters, turning back to his station and searching for more things to destroy. You watch him contemplate the knives, and you can’t stay out of it any longer.

“Carmy. Chef. Carmy,” you say as you reach out to grab his muscled arm, pulling him round to face you. You can feel the tension corded deep under his skin, see the sheen of sweat coating his tattoos. Normally, any skin contact with him sends your brain into overdrive, but you can’t afford to be anything but calm right now.

His eyes are wild, but you watch him steadily, and he watches you straight back. You’re not sure why, but the moment reminds you of how you felt on those rare occasions he invited you and Syd over to brainstorm new recipes in his cramped kitchen. Especially that time Sydney couldn’t make it, and you were midway through describing your idea for a yuzu-infused scallops course to him - “with maybe, like, a garnish of broccoli just absolutely smothered in hollandaise” - when he reached forward, tucked a scrap of hair behind your ear, and the very idea of food whisked straight out of your head - but you still felt hungry. And whilst he’d tried out your broccoli idea over and over again that night, you found yourself blushing every time he passed you a spoon to taste it.

You never could get that dish right. Every time you thought about it, you couldn’t separate the flavours from the curious look in his eyes, the way he drank in your ideas, absorbed them before he responded, how his eyes tracked every thought that crossed your face.

Now here you are again, staring at that measured, thoughtful man turned savage, and you wonder if you have the guts to do what you’ve been thinking about doing for a while.

“I’m not afraid of you,” you murmur beneath the clatter of plates behind you, just for him. You don’t look away even when you hear something shatter. You move your hand from his arm, up over his shoulder, push your palm into the curve of his neck and hold it there.

Then you wait, feel his shoulders jumping up and down with his rapid breathing. Wait until he leans into it a little, chasing your solidity, and it’s all the response you need.

“Come with me.” It’s not a question, but he nods anyway.

“Sydney, you got this?” You ask, never taking your eyes from Carmy’s face, worried that if you do, you’ll lose whatever grip you have on him right now.

“Yes, Chef,” she replies, and you feel her edge round the side of Carmy to put another fish on rapid fire. He catches her eye as she passes, and brings his hand up to his chest, rubbing it once in what has become the team’s official way to apologise during service. She responds in kind, and he lets you drag him off the station, past the others shooting him worried looks, straight into the walk-in.

You shut the door carefully, recalling the stories of Carmy’s previous imprisonment. It’s still securely closed, giving you both some calm and privacy to cool off.

Except cooling off is not really what you have in mind.

You turn to see Carmy slumped in the corner, curled in on himself and running his hands through his already-chaotic hair. He stands again suddenly, bracing his hands on the wall behind him as if to remind himself they exist.

“Carmy.”

“Yeah, shit. Sorry, I just need a second. It’s just, I didn’t sleep at all last night. I was thinking about doing something with ceviche, but I couldn’t figure out what fish would work best, and then that sorta spiralled into a panic attack which kept me up whisking eggs for something until three, and then-” You watch his eyes darting over the shelves around him as he talks, and you realise he’s taking stock of what’s there. Even during a full-blown meltdown, he cannot stop working, stop thinking. He starts pacing.

“Carmy,” you say again as you try to catch his eye. He’s staring at some spare T-bones like they’ll explain to him whatever dish he was whisking eggs for last night. Fuck it. You grab his chin, tilt it until he has to look at you.

“D’you know the best way to calm down?”

“Lock yourself in the walk-in for three hours?” He’s trying to relieve some tension, but you have other ideas on how to handle that.

“Sex, Carmy.”

There. You’re terrified that you finally acknowledged it, finally confessed to what you’ve been thinking about for months, but thank God it’s out in the open. You’ve been blushing at his compliments on your food for far too long, ignoring how good he looks in a white tee for even longer. And today has been such a shitshow it can’t possibly get any worse by admitting to this too.

You wait for Carmy to shut it down, laugh it off, maybe even fire you, but he just looks shellshocked. Then again, that is his default look.

“I, um…” He rubs a hand over his forehead, glances up at you almost shyly. “I mean, um. What?”

“Listen, you’re fucking up service. You’re distracted, tired, stressed beyond belief. I want to help you, and I won’t pretend it’s just out of the goodness of my own heart. I’ve been interested in you for a while, Carmy. You can take that or leave it or kick me out of this walk-in if you want, but I’m here. I want to help you work through things, through all this anger. And…I want you to know you can take it out on me. And maybe even feel better at the same time.”

Carmy is flushed, and you’re all out of words. You kind of wish he was still looking at the T-bones.

“We, uh, we can’t.” Carmy leans back on a freezer for support, crossing his arms in a pose you normally associate with him working something out in his head, deciding what a dish is missing or what it needs to take it up a notch. “I mean, not now. Not here, at least. And I don’t know, we work together. I’m your boss. It’s not a good idea.” He reaches a hand round to his back, starts massaging the strain away there. It’s an especially effective position as he doesn’t have to look at you as he does it, as he says, “Sorry.”

You shrug a little, smile. Try to pretend it doesn’t hurt. Keep it professional, or as professional as you can get in a kitchen. “Hey, it was worth a shot. Get some sleep, Chef.”

You turn to go, hoping that stirring and slicing and plating up will shake off the embarrassment currently burning through to your bones.

But you don’t live to regret the offer as Carmy grabs your arm, spins you and shoves you hard enough into the walk-in door that it rattles on its hinges.

“Hey, everything okay in there Chefs?” you hear Marcus call, and it’s a reality check you absolutely don’t want right now. Carmy doesn’t even seem to have heard him, trailing kisses down your neck, collarbone, shoulder as your body arches into the feeling. You’ve had one too many fantasies about this walk-in since you started, but the actual feeling doesn’t begin to touch the dream.

“Yeah, all good Chef!” You manage to reply, but you barely get the ‘Chef’ out before Carmy’s lips slide over yours, pushing, demanding entry as his body keeps you pressed up against the door. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place, is all you have time to think between kisses.

There is no room or time for playing around. Carmy needs this, and you intend to provide, but you’re damn sure getting everything you can out of it just in case it never happens again. One of your hands curls deep into his hair, pulling his head back as your teeth click together in the ferocity of the kiss. You swear you can taste blood, but neither one of you pulls back, the saltiness only urging you on. Your other hand is busy loosening his belt, and you tug it hard to pull the silver prong free of the leather, hard enough that his hips jerk forward into yours and you moan, long and low.

Gravity suddenly spins on its axis as Carmy lifts you, turns and drops you down onto the freezer Fak installed last week. And for once in your life, thank you, Fak. The movement seems to shake Carmy out of it for a second, and he pulls back, hesitates. A hand curves around your cheek, and you can feel an apology coming, see the reticence forming in his eyes. And honestly, fuck that.

You hook fingers through his belt loops, dragging him closer and then using them to tug his trousers down. You’re not gentle as you reach into his underwear, wrap a hand around his cock, and you can tell that’s what he needs as he hisses, his head drifting back.

Removing his hand from your cheek, you guide it slowly down to your neck. His head snaps up, and there’s a darkness, a need, that wasn’t there before as you move your hand slowly, torturously, down his length.

“Hey,” you whisper, reluctant to interrupt the low grunts spilling from him with each of your movements. “I’m not going to break.”

You squeeze his fingers around your throat a little tighter, and it’s this that has him surging forward, messy mouths pressing together again and everything condensing into a rippling, burning, rightness as the fingers of his other hand shove themselves between your legs.

He lingers there for a moment, breaths short and sharp in your ear as he breaks free from your kiss and whispers, “If we had more time, I would clean up the mess you’re making all over my freezer, Chef.”

“My apologies, Chef,” you pant, the sweetness of the apology marred slightly by your fingers tugging hard through his curls. Then you’re pushing up his white shirt at the back, reveling in the heat of him, the muscles straining under your touch. “What’s my punishment?”

Carmy hesitates, then withdraws his fingers from you slowly, and it feels like the calm before the storm. One hand is still pressed loosely around your neck as he brings the other up to your face, runs the edge of his still-wet fingers over your lips. Asking or demanding, you don’t know, but you’re happy to comply. His pupils are blown so wide you can barely see the blue behind them, and when you slide your mouth over his fingers, taste yourself on him, he closes them in momentary bliss. And it’s so beautiful to see that you can’t resist pulling him in to share.

A Michelin-star chef with one of the most sophisticated palates on the planet. A renowned food critic once wrote of him, “In my next life, I’d like to be just one of the taste buds in Carmen Berzatto’s mouth.” And here he is, savouring you, tongue searching out every corner of your mouth as if he wants to figure out each and every component of your taste. Add the recipe of you to his menu, and make it every night.

You’re both done waiting, and the clock is ticking. You can faintly hear Sydney calling orders through the wall, although she sounds steadier now. You don’t know whether anyone out there knows what you’re doing, but a rampaging elephant couldn’t stop Sydney when she’s on a roll.

Carmy pulls you closer to the freezer’s edge, jeans and underwear falling to his ankles and suddenly he is right there, and-

“Oh, fuck,” is all you can say as he pushes forward in one swift, animal movement. And oh, pain flickers down your spine as he slides almost free of you and thrusts back, relentless, and this is exactly what you signed up for.

“ Fuck ,” he echoes, hand sliding down your neck to settle over your racing heart. “Fuck, you…I don’t know how you do this to me,” he pants, and you try to keep your moaning down so you can hear as words spill from him, “When you come in with your hair down before a shift, when you - ah - when you borrow my knife and I see you using it all service, when you let me light your fuckin’ cigarette for you. Shit. You drive me crazy on purpose, and you wanna know what the worst part is?”

You can’t breathe, let alone answer him.

“The worst part is I eat that shit up every time, ” he snarls, punctuating every word with a short, sharp thrust.

This is the animal you saw tonight, spitting curses, destroying his own food, all sharp edges and uncompromising will. Grunting as he bottoms out inside you, fingers clenched around your upper thigh hard enough to bruise, littering bites over your neck as if your colleagues aren’t an unlocked door away.

But the animal isn’t the end of Carmen Berzatto. There is more to him than the bear, and you intend to remind him of that before you’re through.

“Look around you,” you pant as he thrusts again, harder, sweeter, and you have to get this out before you tip over the edge. So you risk bringing the hand you were using to support yourself forward to turn his chin towards the walk-in’s walls, to beyond them, to the restaurant hard at work and the satisfied diners metres away who have no idea what’s going on in here, and fuck if that doesn’t make it all the more delicious. “Look what you made. Look who you are.” You watch his flushed face, hope he understands the praise, but you can’t hold on anymore to see your words land.

“You’re fuckin’ unbelievable, Carmy,” is all you manage to choke out as every muscle in your body lights up, tenses and releases in a flood so strong you wonder if you’ll ever surface, and if you even want to.

Carmy fucks forward into you twice more, and his head drops onto your shoulder as he groans, shudders, relaxes fully for what may be the first time in his life.

You stroke a hand over his head, pull him closer. You’re not quite sure when this stopped being a no-holds-barred quickie and became a quiet, intense embrace, but it feels right. All the desperation, the keyed-up energy, is gone from him. And if he never wants anything more than that, even though the idea is more than a little disappointing, you can take consolation from the fact that you at least managed to stop a raging Carmy in his tracks.

Although it is a little quiet.

“Carmy?” You ask, hesitant to break the silence. Thankfully, it still sounds like it’s all bustle outside. You wonder how long you’ve been in here, and try not to think about how you’re going to emerge with any shred of dignity intact.

Carmy pulls back, and you can’t define the look on his face, but it worries you. His eyes shine slightly, and his gaze skips across your face, down your body, not holding your stare.

“Are you okay?” You ask, praying this isn’t about to get really awkward really quick. The man’s still inside you, for Christ’s sake.

“Yeah. I, um, I should be asking you that.” Carmy’s hands skim down your sides, fingers pressing in randomly as if to check for bruises. He tilts his head to look under your chin, as if to check he hasn’t caused any permanent damage to your neck. “Jesus. Are you alright? I’m sorry, that was rough.”

“I’m totally fine.” You don’t know what to do to reassure him, so opt for two big thumbs up. “See? Voice working and everything.”

Carmy chuckles unevenly, takes a careful step back, and you try not to consider how empty you feel and how cold and slippery the freezer now is underneath you. You hop off, catching yourself on the side when you realise just how shaky your legs are. When you glance up at Carmy, he’s just staring at you, which is, frankly, unnerving.

“Do I look that bad?” you ask, pulling your hair out of what’s left of a ponytail to start again.

“No. No, I’m just…I’m just taking you in.” The raw honesty in his eyes pins you in place for a moment. But of course, Richie shouts “ Cousin!” before you can read into it too much.

There is a moment of panicked dressing and clean-up, a nod to each other to confirm you both look relatively sane and not totally fucked (even though you doubt it), and then a collective deep breath as you push open the door of the walk-in.

You don’t catch anyone’s eye for a second as you head to your station, Carmy’s presence like an open flame behind you.

“Corner. Corner. Behind, sorry Chefs,” you call as you slide back into place. Two quick glances calm you; one at the clock - seventeen minutes - and one at Sydney, who doesn’t look like she’s about to throw up and only has three tickets in front of her. You spare a final one for Fak in his position by the door, who you are positive would be grinning gleefully if he, or anyone else in the kitchen, knew what just went down in the walk-in.

“What do you need, Syd?” you ask, picking up the familiar back-and-forth of the kitchen again with some relief.

Carmy is quiet, focused, for the last half hour of service, but you can’t keep your mind clear. As soon as last orders are sent out, you slink to the back for a cigarette, hoping the smoke will at least wipe out your brain fog. It does the exact opposite. When you let me light your fuckin’ cigarette for you. You exhale, waving the smoke away as the words churn through your brain. I eat that shit up every time.

“Hey,” you hear, and you’re almost thankful to speak to the real him just to distract yourself from thinking about earlier.

“Hey.” You offer him a smoke, and he takes it, sinking onto the step next to you. The brush of his leg against yours is a lot more comforting than you expect it to be, relaxing a secretly worried part of you.

He takes a long drag, the kind of drag you only take when it’s been a shitshow of a day. “I just want to say I’m-”

“Sorry? It’s okay. It doesn’t have to happen again,” you finish for him. It hurts less that way.

“What? No.” He looks at you until you reluctantly meet his gaze. “Not for that. I’m not sorry about that.” He lets that hang there for a second, holds your eye. “But I’m sorry for losing my shit earlier. Nobody deserves to be around that, and…I want you to know I’m working on it. I wanna be…I wanna be good at this.” It’s a stilted apology as he thinks through every line, and it feels all the more sincere for it.

“That’s okay. I know. We all know.” You reach a hand out to touch his arm, and after a second, he lowers his head to rest on his knee, although his face is still turned towards you. You see his eyes flicker from your hand on his arm to your face.

“Although that wasn’t exactly how I expected that to go by the way,” he says after a moment.

You don’t try to pretend you don’t know what he’s referring to. “What, in the walk-in?”

“Oh, no, I’ve thought about it in the walk-in.” You ignore a pulse of feeling at his casual confession, at the idea that he’s thought about you. “I just didn’t imagine it so…heated, I guess.” Carmy raises his head again, traces a finger along your hand where it rests on his arm until you shiver. “Not that I didn’t enjoy it.”

You hesitate for a second before replying. Before extending the branch. “Well, I’m sure there’ll be other times, Chef.”

His eyes flick up to meet yours, and it’s your turn to watch his thoughts flickering there, watch as the fog clears, the idea forms, and he says, “Yeah. Next time.”

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wow guys thank you for reading i pray through the act of writing this that my jeremy allen white obsession will calm the fuck down, but i fear i've made it worse

if you'd like to keep up with me on ao3, you can find me here and please do send me any comments or feedback or prompt ideas, i would love to hear them <33 thank you!!

#becsabillion #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x ofc #carmy the bear #the bear #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #carmen berzatto smut #jeremy allen white #the bear fanfiction

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strongheartneteyam · 10 months

Text

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!dreamwalker!reader/female!human!reader

Chapter 4

CW: jealous neteyam, angst, restless neteyam, obsessive and toxic behavior, mentions of violence, neteyam's current mental health is not the best out there (let's put it that way), the word "bloody" being mentioned in someone's thoughts, TRIGGER WARNING for dubious consent and slight NON CON, angry thoughts, melancholic reader, hints of depression on reader, anxious reader, mentions of breeding kink, reader thinking a lot about neteyam, reader finds out she's crushing on neteyam, reader is afraid of neteyam + attracted to him, neteyam stepping over reader's boundaries, creepy yandere vibes, slight nudity, sexual tension, neteyam almost trying to have sex with reader (if you squint)

Not proofread… as always 😂 I'm so sorry PLS don't give up on me, my babies! My readers are my lil rays of sunshine! No false praising here, I'm way too much of an honest, and sometimes blunt bih to do that! Ahaha you guys have changed my life. Having you guys reading my stories, appreciating my art… I'm still speechless. I love y'all until the end! 🥲🥺🫀💕 when I'm sad, you guys cheer me up with your comments, reblogs, asks, likes… I'm forever thankful ✨ I'm sending A BIG KITH to everyone that commented on the other chapters! I didn't have enough time and mental/physical health to answer everyone bc I've been going through some tough things in my personal life lately. Like, REAL tough. But I always do my best to try and show my gratitude to all of you <3 hope you enjoy this chapter. Leave comments below if u wanna I LOOOOVE READING YOUR COMMENTS 🥰💕💕💕

Chapter 3

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Watching me, wanting me

I can feel you pull me down

Fearing you, loving you

I won't let you pull me down

Haunted (Evanescence)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Hours had passed since Neteyam Suli had appeared to you in the window of the kitchen you worked in.

It was late at night already and you should be sleeping but, you just could not stop thinking about what had happened. How weird it had been to see a real na'vi - not an Avatar - real close. How odd he looked in your eyes, massive in size and so, so blue...

You laughed alone in your small room in the back of the laboratory after taking a quarter of a second to realize that the thought you just had was actually really funny.

Neteyam looked like a huge and thick brushstroke of sky blue paint. Still, he was… incredibly beautiful. He was eerie, weird looking compared to the human guys you're used to, but… something about him made his face linger on your mind.

You did not know how it was possible that you were finally having to admit to yourself that you felt attracted to Neteyam Suli, even after he appeared to you only once and, let's not forget, he appeared completely unanticipated, saying he had seen you before, multiple times.

You knew that raised like a billion red flags. Yet still, even though you did not feel safe enough to trust him or let your hair down when he was around, he intrigued you immensely.

༊⁀➷

You woke up the next morning feeling anxious. You did not know what it was exactly, but, lately, you had not only been depressed, but anxious too. You knew you probably would be diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety if you cared to go to the mental health department of the laboratory, but the thing was… you did not care to. You did not want to. The real reason for your lingering sadness was already so familiar to you: you did not like the life you were living.

You looked to be free like the na'vi. To not have deadly boring obligations everyday, to not have to care so much about so many strict rules of what was socially acceptable and what was not. You thought your own race to be too complicated. Humans don't really say what they mean just so many times. Humans care too much about money and power when, in reality, deep down, we all know that's not what's gonna make us happy, what's gonna keep us warm in a cold night.

But you were never really like that.

Not to pretend you were a golden, precious jewel, so incredibly hard to find, so utterly different from everybody else but, in all honesty, as much as you did care about money and having a comfortable life - to some extent - you were never a greedy for riches kind of person. You had always felt perfectly happy and content to just have a few things to keep you cozy, like your earbuds, a good book, your favorite sweet treat… You liked it simple. Calm. Balanced.

You believed that everything needs to be balanced to work well.

Chaos and light. Pain and happiness.

People need all of it to learn, grow and live a good life, that doesn't get painfully boring and unbearable with time.

But humans lacked balance.

Too much greed, too little contentment. Too much hate, too little compassion. Too much selfishness, too little altruism. That's why your kind was, as unfortunate as it was, doomed to misery. The human race dug their own grave. God, they couldn't even respect and take care of their own planet, their own home, the place that kept them literally safe and steady in the middle of the immense galaxy, let alone being able to take care of each other, to consider other's feelings before their own because, sometimes, we all need to do it.

And that's one of the reasons why you admired the na'vi so much. They were so much more wise than your own race.

How many times you had wished, talking to yourself in the dark of the night, that you could have been born na'vi. Why was fate so cruel to you? You did not even believe in fate. But it is only an expression, anyway.

༊⁀➷

Neteyam was tossing around on his mat since he went back home from training.

Yesterday he was way too busy to try and go see you or at least watch you from afar.

Sometimes he truly felt exhausted from his hectic routine and just wished he could be like Lo'ak and the other Omatikaya young men and just be able to relax more, to have more free time to engage in hobbies or, Eywa... to have more time to sleep... Sometimes he went back home all sore. He was as athletic as one can be but it did not mean he could not feel jaded after pushing himself too hard.

But Neteyam tried to always keep in mind the noble, sacred reason why he did all that. He was going to be the next leader of his clan, a privileged position, blessed by the Great Mother. A position that so many wished to have and he was lucky enough to be waiting to take on.

He was the current Olo'eyktan's son. It was a gift, he should not be ungrateful. He felt bad for thinking that was exactly what he was being... His father, Jake, was Toruk Makto. He was brave enough to earn that title. Neteyam felt it was his duty to be as brave and fearless as his father, to honor him and all his efforts to defend their tribe from any danger, specially from the Sky People.

Everything was going as usual, if it was not for only one thing: Lo'ak seemed to be suspicious of the fact that Neteyam was out for so many hours, almost everyday (meaning, every time he was free to just do whatever he wanted and not training to become the next Olo'eyktan of the Omatikaya) and nobody had a clue of where he was.

His parents seemed to be too busy being the Olo'eyktan and the Tsahìk to notice something seemed off about Neteyam's behavior lately. And it is understandable. It was anything but easy to be the clan leader and the clan healer and spiritual leader. Mo'at was getting old and had passed the position of Tsahìk to Neytiri a while ago. So, Jake and Neytiri already were making such a huge effort to be able to live up to their duties, be parents of a little girl, Tuktirey, three teenagers and still keep their sanity. It was a lot, indeed. But they tried as hard as they could to still be good enough for their clan, their family and for each other, as a mated couple.

Neteyam decided he was way too restless to be able to sleep that night. He could not stop thinking about the way that human male talked to you, looked at you... He wondered if he really was your mate. He was not sure but if what he thought when he saw you two together was true, he knew it would not be a problem. He hated to get violent, his natural self was calm and composed. But he was going to fight for you, and, if it needed to get bloody, then so be it.

He decided to go outside his and his family's home, to breathe some cold, fresh eclipse air. It helped him to calm down a bit but it was not enough. He missed you. Like crazy. Deeply. He craved your scent… your delicious human scent. He did not even believe he was saying that about the way a human smelled. But he would always insist in saying you were different. You had a na'vi heart. Just like his father, back when he was still all pink and small.

He decided he wanted… no, he needed to see you. And it could not wait. It had to be now. He craved you and that craving would not go away like that. It was stronger than his rational brain. You woke up his animal side more than anything else did. He wanted to mate with you as soon as possible. He dreamt about the day he would be able to breed you, have you carrying his offspring on your womb. He would make you so happy, give you everything you've ever wanted, everything you need. And while you were still not permanently living inside your Avatar body, he still wanted to have you, even if it meant having you in your demon form. You were a pretty, lovely demon. His cute, sweet demon girl. His yawntutsyìp. (little loved one)

༊⁀➷

You just could not believe it was really happening, how the hell you got into those circumstances.

Right before that moment, you were almost sleeping peacefully, finally (you know that state when you're not awake nor asleep?), after having been awake, tossing around on your bed for hours for the most ridiculous reason you could ever think of: you were undeniably crushing on that weird alien boy. Neteyam Suli.

Yes, he acted like a creep when he tapped on your window. You knew it was pathetic but… he just would not leave your mind. He was shamefully living rent free in your brain. All cozy there.

But the worst and craziest part was: you were still afraid of him.

Ok, the na'vi were a peaceful, highly intelligent (arguably much more smart, interesting and wiser than humans) alien race but he was still almost 10 feet tall and was so freaking intimidating. You shivered at the thought that he could ever hurt you, even by accident, one day.

Still, you were now here with him. Outside the laboratory. Because he put his goddamn eerie but cute (the guy is a complete paradox) looking ocean colored fingers through the tiny gap you left open in your bedroom window - a passage you left for air to come in when it was really hot and dry, like it was that night - and that made a strange noise, enough to put you in alert mode.

Damn, what a bad habit… Leaving the window open, even slightly, was not even permitted by the people who took care of the lab's security norms. That could be dangerous. But you had always been a stubborn little thing.

You were now regretting your decisions, though.

Neteyam approached your window being what he could be like a pro: a crazy stalker.

How you were still attracted to him… even though you were fearful of his na'vi build and strength… that was a question that maybe a mental health professional could answer. It was weird and problematic and you knew it. But you never imagined you would feel like this about Neteyam Suli. You really did not. When you first saw him, he seemed cute and handsome in your eyes, but he was still an alien. You had never considered being attracted to one. But now… nothing made sense anymore, things were getting weird.

Stupidity took over you when you were so sleepy and groggy and you saw it was his huge hand on the wooden window, so, you wanted to ask him why he ran away the last time you two spoke. You know when you're so sleepy, you make the most unimaginably silly mistakes? So… there you go. You dragged your heavy with slumber body out of your bed, grabbed your oxygen mask that was kept inside your closet and opened the window.

But why, though?

In the beginning, you two were having a trivial talk about mundane stuff, like how he learned the English language (his father, of course), he started to ask how and why you got an Avatar etc

He acted suspicious but still normal-ish, for a na'vi. They always looked mysterious when interacting with humans. But then, when he was telling you about his little sister, Tuktirey, and your eyes were slowly falling shut, your body begging for some hours of sleep… you felt a change in the atmosphere around you.

Your eyes had closed for a while, on their own, and suddenly, you knew Neteyam was really close to you, now. He had been keeping a respectful distance in the beginning. But now… now he was inches away from your body. He had moved closer, his fleshy but toned blue thigh almost rubbing against your leg, as you were sitting sideways on the window frame, your legs hanging in the air, making you feel a bit cold because of the nighttime Pandoran air.

You woke up from your 5 seconds long involuntary nap really startled.

"Hey! Why are you… so close?" You looked at him, dazed and nervous, visibly shaken

"Sorry… Is it too much? You're just… so pretty…" Neteyam says, looking at you like he's looking at a graceful, otherworldly being.

"Yeah. It is." You warn him "Can you… step away a bit, please?" You said, looking into his eyes. Your gaze serious but amiable.

Neteyam respected your request and did what was decent. But you did not expect that he would soon change his demeanor, just like something was taking over him.

You were so distracted with your chat with Neteyam but so utterly sleepy too that you did not notice when your nightgown's thin strap slipped through your right shoulder, leaving your breast exposed, your nipple out for Neteyam to see.

It was like a beast had replaced that nice-but-weird-vibes guy you were previously talking to.

Neteyam had just lifted you off of the window with amazing ease, your feet now touching the ground and he got closer to you again. He had you with your back against the lab's outer wall, keeping you there just by being in front of you, looking at you.

His size was enough to keep you still. You did not want him to maybe get mad at you if you tried to run away. That could become terrifying in a heartbeat. You were brave since a child, but you were also realistic. Your height and body strength was nothing compared to Neteyam's.

He looked at your exposed breast with such desire, you felt like his amber gaze was scorching your sensitive skin.

"Neteyam! What-?"

"You're so… perfect." His breath was labored while he stared down at your nipple, hardened by the cold temperature of the eclipse air "Sevin…" (pretty)

"I'm so afraid of you, Neteyam... You're too big and honestly...scary. I'm so sorry. I'm always trying to pick up signals that may indicate you're gonna hurt me. I don't feel comfortable at all right now. Please, let me go" You said as your cold, anxious hands took your nightgown strap back to where it belonged, covering your boob again, feeling ashamed of the vulnerable way you had just been seen by Neteyam, ashamed of the fact that he, a boy you barely knew, had just seen your naked breast, even if it was only for a brief period of time

"My cute little 'emyu…" (cook, cooker) "You don't need to be afraid of me." He smiles at you in such a sincere way, trying to show you he means no harm whatsoever.

Though Neteyam felt his heart tightening way too much inside his chest, hurting so much it was like you had crushed it when you said you're afraid of him, he was carefully trying to make you see he would never in a billion years harm you, his precious little yawne (loved one).

He wished so hard, even prayed to Eywa, in a millisecond, inside his mind, that you would soon realize he loved you so much he would kill anyone who ever hurt your precious, frail human body. He could not understand how you could think he himself would do such a horrible thing towards you.

When Neteyam saw you did not show any sign that you were beginning to trust him more, he said:

"Hì'i," (little, small in size) "please... I need you... I love your scent so much. I miss it everytime I'm away from you. I love the way your human skin smells. I do. I dream about you at night... " He gets closer to you slowly and carefully, caging you between the wall and his broad, crazily tall blue body, leaving no way for you to get away from him "C-can I touch you? Touch your skin?" Neteyam breathes, begging for you with his wide eyed gaze "Just for a little while, please..." He kneels down at the ground to be as close as he possibly can to your height "See? I'm not so tall anymore. Am I a little less scary now?" He smiles faintly, trying to cover his pain with a fake demonstration of joy.

Neteyam feels so insecure, without any guarantee that you will eventually let him in. But he will never give up on trying to be worthy of your love.

"You're always gonna be scary to me. Even when I'm in my Avatar, I think." Using a sharp na'vi knife to stab Neteyam's heart repeatedly would have hurt him less than that statement "I'm not as skilled as you are or experienced as you are when it comes to using a bow or anything like that. God, I can't even work a bow right. If you'd ever hurt me, even by accident I-"

"I can teach you." He interrupted "I will teach you everything I know about archery. I'm a great archer, you know? I like to call myself "Mighty Warrior". " He smiles, frowning a bit, trying to make a joke to make the situation a little lighter.

You seemed so afraid he was starting to not know what to do anymore to try to make you see you were safe with him. That he would defend you from any danger without any hesitation and not be the danger himself.

༊⁀➷

Taglist:

@kitsunefirewail

@tumblingdevils

@a-blog-name-2003

@xylobee

@nerdybouquetofkittens-blog

@henhouse-horrors

@lala-1516

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@im-in-a-pansexual-panik

@hana-yuri

@thehoneymushroomhealer

@melllinaa

@annaibansworld

@siriuslysmoking

@avatar4eva

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isanaakira · 2 months

Text

Guys Ive been so busy with school and life I've barely had time to actually sit down and enjoy TV or a movie and it's disheartening to be honest.

I have however been reading Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. When I tell you I am obsessed, I am obsessed. I have been reading it slowly to enjoy it since I read it on my way to school. So I just read a few pages here and there just so I can have something to read for a good while. It is soooo good though. I finished book one and I'm on book two chapter 2 currently.

Something that I enjoy is reading the descriptions of the characters and they literally match the cast of the movies. I was like damn they did so fucking good in that part and I love it. Imma be honest as well, I think they did good in capturing the books story in the movie. Apart from being a book enthusiast I also like watching movies. I don't go heavily into them like I want sometimes or like others (absolutely no hate because your guys breakdowns help me love something even more) but I do enjoy the storyline of the movies. It makes sense they did it that way because something I think many people forget is that not everyone reads the books or likes to read. So sometimes they have to do things a certain way to not only appeal to the book readers but the audience that has not read the books. On top of that budgets and stuff. And sometimes writers sometimes just like to write a whole new idea based off a book which is kinda how we like to make fan art and fan fic. Don't get me wrong, yeah it would be so fucking great to have it exactly like the books, but I also appreciate the story telling of the movies.

I'm sorry if I kind of got side tracked. It's just I sometimes get the movie watchers perspective cuz my family doesn't like to read, but they love a ton of movies based on books. So maybe I'm biased 🤷.

But besides that, I am going to continue reading these books for the first time and enjoying the heck out of them. Apart from Lord of the Rings I'm also reading Percy Jackson and currently looking to read something else.

Anyways, stay safe out there. Have a good day 😁 and enjoy your hobbies. Love y'all.

#lotr #movies #books #lord of the rings #the hobbit #percy jackson #frodo baggins #samwise gamgee #merry and pippin #gandalf #aragorn

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arcadekitten · 9 months

Note

Currently on a Witchywool brain rot…. Hurggh I love em so much 😭❤️ How do you keep creating such interesting and unique dynamics to ships? Like, becoming obsessed with a bloodthirsty anthoropomorphic sheep and his star witch girlfriend playing god was NOT what I expected when I first played SnD, but here we are 💀

I have a few questions about them that I’d like to ask, if that’s alright!

1) We know that Stella came in from a shooting star… but where did she come from? What are her origins? I read in other posts that she was made out of concentrated stardust and that she came from an entire race of star people… is it alright if you can elaborate on that more?

2- Similarily, does Stella, Lambchop and the other characters have family or something? And if they do, are they going to be introduced sometime? Or will they just be unimportant NPCs?

3- If Stella and Lambchop ever enter a romantic relationship, how would everyone react? Especially Ruuuby; will she be upset at Stella, or will she accept it (after a lot of tears?)

4- Relating to the last question, how would they get together first? Would Stella develop romantic feelings and confess to Lambchop (probably in a VERY sweet and romantic gesture ❤️) or would it be something else that’ll bring them together?

5-What are their feelings about each other and the relationship in general? And what would their dynamic be like? Would it change much from their original friendship, or would it remain somewhat the same except with more physical affection?

6- What are their love languages for each other? (Gift Giving, Quality Time, etc…) As in, how would they show their love for each other?

7- And finally… what would their wedding be like? ;D

I am SO, SO SORRY if this is too much!!! 😥 It’s just that… well, I’d like to write a fanfic of these two someday… and since these two have less screen time together I am STRAVED for content about them, not blaming you, ofc!!! I absolutely love your work and it’s totally understandable that with the amount of time and effort you put into your games that it’s already amazing that you keep finding time to draw them together and create additional content for em! It’s just that I’d love to see more of these two and understand their characters better so that I can write them accurately, if that makes sense :D

So thank you for taking time to read my silly questions (and hopefully answer them if you’re not too busy) and I wish you a good day!! 😁

I'm so happy you like them!! Now you can brainrot with me!! ♡♡♡

I'll try to answer your questions to the best of my ability!!

Perhaps not at this instance but, time permitting, maybe I'll be able to expand it just a bit! I will say though that star people come in all genders and probably dress in similar ways to how Stella does! (So, like...lots of magical girl inspiration haha!) ===

I haven't thought much about it! Stella for sure doesn't have parents--she was born from the stars! As for Lambchop and the others, it's a mystery! ===

I think everyone would be a bit surprised, but happy for them! I answered once in another post that if Stella and Lambchop were to pursue a romantic relationship, Stella would try to set-up Ruuuby with somebody else to try and dampen the blow. If that didn't work, Stella would explain to Ruuuby very gently that she and Lambchop want to be together. Ruuuby would cry, upset that Lambchop doesn't like her, but would be happy for Stella because she loves Stella and wants her and Lambchop to be happy too! ===

I'm hoping that perhaps I can explain this a bit somehow in some of the arts I make of them! I can't see it ramping up to the level of being a game (especially because I don't want to take away from the themes of the original--and I've got other stories I want to make too!) but I think it might be a mix of a confession and something else. ===

If they were to officially get together I don't think it would change too much about their dynamic, but there would be a LOT of physical affection. Lambchop especially would be very clingy, always wrapped around Stella. Calling her things like "My Stella". They each have their own houses but I'm sure Lambchop would invite himself over to Stella's for a "sleepover" a lot, where they're forced to cuddle on her not-big-enough-for-2-people bed to fit (not that they're complaining) ===

I feel as though their love languages are like a mix of gift-giving and quality time, in their weird twisted ways. Lambchop kills people so Stella will have something to fix. Stella fixes everything so Lambchop will have something to ruin again. They might not even fully realize they're doing it, but they do it! ===

Oh their WEDDING? Well, I think it would be a happy one with all their friends, more or less! (Though probably with a lot of disagreements on how to go about it...) I think Stella also, being from the stars and all, might not be used to the concept of dating vs marriage so she might have to get herself accustomed to the idea. Also Lambchop wears a top hat, 100% === I hope that satisfies! And thanks again for your kind words!! ♡

#sweet no death #sweet no death spoilers #witchywool #stellamb #stella #lambchop #ask

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beangusu · 9 months

Note

Please please please share your reinako fic recommendations! I absolutely adore all your art of them 💗

THANK U SO MUCH <3 AND OMG I HAVE SO MANY... u have unlocked my reinako fic floodgates but i will try to be normal and keep it to like 5-10 recs

just a warning, two of these have nsfw in them (In The Corner of Her Mind and Heartfelt Obligation) but are skippable, so if you’re like me and aren’t a fan of that then you can just skip the chapter!

In The Corner of Her Mind - this ones an oldie but i read it time and time again bc it breaks my heart in the BEST way possible especially since its set in the PGSM universe :'D if u want an amnesia reinako au fic, this one ticks all the boxes Point Not Taken - also a really old fic, but oh my god Victoria G's fics make me kick my feet and giggle and knowing they were a co-writer for the Carmilla web-series just makes so much sense bc i was obsessed with hollstein..... pls read their reinako fics they make me wanna throw up (affectionate) Through the Fire (Through Whatever, Come What May) - this one's not finished yet but the way the author writes the reinako dynamic is SO THEMMMM 🥰🥰 i adore when people write the reinako dynamic just right and this fic hits that spot for me red on my tongue (the red of your tongue) - i am so obsessed with fics that are abt present reinako finding out abt love affairs between silver millennium mars & venus which either cue their realization moment or push them to confess :3 this one has to be my fav out of all of YNK’s reinako fics, it made me tear up so bad at some parts like they are so Soulmates it makes me insane. pls read all of YNK's reinako fics after this i promise u wont regret it Heartfelt Obligation - ofc i had to link the mandatory princess/bodyguard au set in the silver millennium where they dislike each other at first but then slowly start catching feelings :33 it's incomplete but i love the silly banter and how they warm up to each other in this fic, its so cute 🥺 i like the burning sun (because i'm running with you) - small oneshot thats also so cute where they're just normal teens with crushes on each other,,, minako is so whipped for rei and rei is so stupid god bless

She's the tear in my heart, I'm on fire - the gay yearning in this one is so UNBELIEVEABLY off the charts it's so sweet and fills that slice of life highschool trope hole if u like that!! minako does get stoned in this one, not during the whole fic, but i figured i would warn anyways in case that makes anyone uncomfy Past Loves And Current Problems - ending this with this cute fic of minako finding out about greek mythology regarding mars and venus being lovers teehee ^_^ this fic also talks about ace's "curse" on venus from the codename sailor v manga AND I LOVE THAT i wish more fics talked abt that.... i have so so so many more i want to talk about and show everyone but i feel bad for this wall of text so i will leave that for a pt2/pt3 in the future mayb... i am filled with reinako brainrot and its never going away im so sorry u guys 💔

#imagine that image of a kitten thats like “full of soup” that's me except it says “full of reinako”#reinako #vio yells

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thecouchsofa · 4 months

Text

2023 ao3 wrapped / fic review / whatever else I'm putting here

@oflights, the human, the myth, the legend, has made me go look at my stats and now you have to look at them too. Tagging @jtimu @elskanellis @sillywives @sleepstxtic @maesterchill @peachydreamxx @hoko-onchi-writes @starquestingfordrarry @rainstormradish @apricitydays-lazynights @annanother-thing @uncannycerulean @drarrymyheart @mallstars so they can also feel this sweet, sweet pain (if they want).

First up, some stats!

Fics posted: 7 public, 1 currently hidden, 1 awaiting submission date + 3 tumblr microfics

Fics started (and maybe finished): 18 + 3 tumblr microfics

Word count of fics posted: 414,013

Total word count written: 513,953

Sorry, but what the actual fuck do you mean I've written over 500k words since April? Put me in restraints, truly.

My favourite fic I wrote this year: The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls

My most kudos'd fic of this year: Driving me crazy (but I'm into it)

I've also read, like, a fucking horrendous amount of fics this year. More than I think I read back when I was deep in the One Direction trenches as a teen. Getting back into writing has given me a fresh appreciation for everyone's work; it's so fucking hard to write well and everyone who puts themselves out there and does that gets an online hug from me.

After Erised reveals I'll be posting a ridiculously long list of my favourite fics that were posted in 2023. It is ... exhaustive. I should probably be embarrassed by how long it is.

But without further ado, a recap of my fics from this year.

May

Driving me crazy (but I'm into it) (8k, E) (Draco/Harry)

Draco’s fucked a lot of people. He’s fucked models, Quidditch players, members of the Wizengamot, even a Muggle actor, but none of them come quite as prettily as Harry Potter.

September

A Walk in the Woods (48k, E) (Draco/Harry)

After ending up in the Spell Damage Ward at St Mungo’s, Harry is put on mandatory holiday leave.

The catch: he has to spend it with Malfoy at his cottage deep in the woods. Harry has no idea why Malfoy agreed to host him, considering he avoided ever being alone in a room with Harry before he left for his sabbatical a year ago.

To complicate things, Harry’s enormous longstanding crush hasn’t waned at all in Malfoy’s absence.

For: HP Cottagecore Fest

The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls (256k, E) (Draco/Harry)

Harry doesn’t know how to cope after the War. The only things that make him feel even remotely normal again are taking risks while flying and fighting with Malfoy. It’s not likely to end well.

Or,

Draco becomes obsessed with ‘Wonderwall’, reads Muggle books, and drives a campervan, while Harry slowly falls in love with Draco. A story about travelling around the British Isles in the late 90s while healing deep scars.

October

Capillaries (3.6k, M) (Draco/Harry)

Draco’s Sectumsempra scars have never fully healed. He says that it’s not Harry’s fault, that he doesn’t blame him for it. Harry hears him, but he’s not sure that he believes it.

Evergreen (23k, T) (Harry/George)

“You’d better hurry up, mate, or all the good ones will have gone.” Fred leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, clearly thinking that he’d now exceeded his allowance of brotherly wisdom for the day.

“Who are you going with then?” Harry asked suddenly. He looked between Fred and George, a thoughtful expression on his face.

Harry asks George to the Yule Ball because it’ll be a laugh and he’s in dire need of one of those. If George can continue to keep his crush under wraps it should all go swimmingly.

For: HP Rarepair Fest IV

Celestial (paint me like one of your starscapes) (30k, E) (Draco/Harry)

Draco needs a partner for an art project. The only catch is, they have to be magically compatible with him for the paints to work properly. He’s fairly certain that he knows who his partner will need to be, he’s just not sure that he wants to admit it.

For: H/D Sudsfest Lite 2023

November

November Flush (5k, E) (Draco/Harry)

Draco Malfoy might be an absolute raging arsehole, but he gives Harry exactly what he needs.

Microfics (all Draco/Harry)

From one to another, for the prompt 'follow': tumblr link

Til resentment do us part, for the prompt 'keep': tumblr link

Satiate, for the prompt 'indulge': tumblr link

Thoughts / feeling / goals for next year

Pride, slight embarrassment, love, appreciation.

For the coming year I'm excited to get stuck into writing even more. I've got so many ideas that I'm excited to work through and a fantastic community to do that with. I will need to be bullied into not signing up for more fests in the new year, so please give me a nudge if my blogging starts to look stressed. Also never be nervous to send me a message about random shit if you're on the fence!

If you have read this far, have read even a single sentence I've written this year, or have thought my Squirtle pic looks cool, I love you, I appreciate you, and I support you.

The motto for 2024? Bedcurtains. One word, not two.

Thanks for being here! ❤️

#my stuff #fandom #drarry fics #thecouchsofa #year in review #fic year in review #ao3 wrapped #tee rambles

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taeiris · 15 days

Note

if I’ve already sent this ask before I’m so sorry, I’ve got adhd, but how did you find your art? (I’m in my questioning phase)

hihi!!! no problem! i think i have some kind of glitch with asks bc when i go look for them it says i have 3, but when i check it, there isn’t any so im sorry if any of u have ever sent asks and i havent answered them it’s probably bc of that😭

but anyways lets get on it!

finding you art style is not smth simple at ALL. ive been drawing my entire life!!! and ive had a bunch of different styles until now, they kinda used to change every few months or so, i was always happy with them but it never really lasted??? and i always had at least one part of the process of it to dread doing, for example, coloring.

it wasn’t until recently i FINALLLYYY found a style im 100% comfortable in.

it really takes experimenting and finding what elements of creating art you love and enjoy the most. for me, i used to mostly do traditional art, just pencil or ink sketching and i would OCCASIONALLY color them. so i really used to enjoy kinda the messiness of the pencil on trad mediums and stuff? and i never rlly found a way to translate that element to digital art which is the one i enjoy the most now.

brushes are very important! it depends on the look you like. since i like that pencil feel, i use a pencil looking brush! (softy from esbenlash’s procreate brush set) and i also got a paper feel screen protector for my ipad to enhance the experience🔥

i found i mostly enjoyed doing lineart and didnt rlly look forward to coloring, i didnt find my past styles enjoyable bc they kind of felt restricting in that area? since i didnt find a way to make it more abt the lineart and less abt coloring that i liked (ofc theres plenty! i just didnt find one for me)

so tbh i think what mostly influenced the style i enjoy the most now is film, and baroque art!

i had recently seen:

Crimson Peak (2015)

The Shape of Water (2017)

and ofc

Stranger Things DUHHHHH

and i fell in love with the way the lightning was, heavy dark shadows and moody lights, and tried to match my style to it and found that it highlighted all the things i enjoy doing the most while drawing! so thats where i am now

special mention to the one movie im obsessed with currently

The Crow (1994)

also has the similar style

all that + experimenting, studying other’s art i liked and finding elements to integrate to my art, ANDDD music also played a huge part in it. so as you can see for me its about kind of combining aspects of every single piece of media i like 😭

its not gonna be the same for everyone, but its always good to have a guide so i hope this was useful for you and anyone else! im always willing answer any art questions :)

don’t worry too much about speeding up finding your style, it’ll come to you eventually, so focus on enjoying the moment and learning, take mental notes of what you like and don’t like!

sorry this is kinda long as hell… but i like rambling

#perfect opportunity to show off these shots from my fav movies teehee #art truly is all one!#i love getting inspired from multiple medias and combining it into drawing #ari answers asks

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crees-a · 4 months

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Why are people so obsessed with u not changing your style?

Like, I love your current syle but also it's your art and your time and you don't owe us a singular style or fannart of a singular character!

Change your style all you want! Experiment and draw whatever your heart desires!!

And to the people asking for Crees not to change styles, you're being rude!! You can't just walk into people's homes and ask them to keep eating the same food forever, same with art! If you like this one so bad, learn to draw and come up with something similar(not the same ofc) of your own, give it your own little spin, experiment yourself and have fun, try it, it'll be cool!

Idk maybe it's bc I'm an artist myself too but it really does read as rude. Like if I don't like how I draw a certain feature I'm more than open to accept constructive criticism and suggestions on other ways to draw it, but if I wanna change styles I don't appreciate people constantly telling me not to.

I understand many people see it as a compliment to go "we like this style!" But at some point, to me at least, it starts landing more like "nooo don't try new things and do what makes you happy and brings you funnnnnn, do what we want and like and only what we want and like!!"

Anyways sorry for the rant it's just fudgsyshsy all these asks land kinda weird, specially after you said that before the DCA you used to change styles constantly and had fun with it and got bored sticking to just one

Oh wow that was certainly unexpected! And I don’t have anything to add, just thank you for outspeaking this. I really don't blame people who are saying that they don't want my style to change, they came here because of it, after all. But I have a bad trait of trying to please everyone and it does slow me down a little

Actually, I already started changing my style bit by bit and it's not very noticable yet but I can’t wait to see where it leads me xd

...Also I really can't help but smile when I see people calling me just Crees :'D It just feels more personal because it's actually how my old (really old) friends call me, but people on tumblr usually call me CreesA or Creesart (which is fine of course)

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prettiest-at-the-party · 4 months

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Hiiiii🩷

I’m not really sure how to preface this but I guess it’s just a bit about me 🫶🏻

I’m Bambi🎀

I use she/her pronouns🩷

I’ve lurked on tumblr for years but never really made a proper account🫶🏻

ive always wanted to do something in a fandom space but I'm not imaginative enough for writing or artistic enough for art so I've recently taken up a research project of sorts, I'm gonna do a deep dive timeline of brocedes, a brocedes bible of sorts, I'm gonna try and include all races interviews and other context anybody might find interesting and hope not to go insane in the process!!!

I would absolutely love to make some F1/F2 moots as I’m absolutely obsessed with it and if you see me reblogging things from other fandoms I’m sorry but I have had a lot of phases and no matter how hard I try to I can never fully let go🎀

I’d really appreciate if you’d only interact with me if your 18+ because I will be re blogging and saying nsfw things 🩷

I’m currently obsessing over Nico Rosberg, George Russell and Paul Aron but I’m genuinely pretty much a fan of everyone and down to talk about whoever🫶🏻

I’m from the UK🎀

Most importantly I’m here for ABSOLUTELY ANYONE who might need it weather we know each other, have anything in common or not, I like to think that I’m super nice and easy to talk to so pls don’t be scared to jump into my messages or inbox and talk about anything you like 🫶🏻

Love you angels 🎀🫶🏻🩷

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harpieisthecarpie · 8 months

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AN ORV JOONGDOK/DOKHYUK ANALYSIS OF HIS HANDS BY BLEGH

SPOILERS AHEAD

Okay so this is a song I have been OBSESSED WITH recently that I of course have to connect to my current favorite fandom and ship, Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint and Kim Dokja/Yoo Joonghyuk.

The essence of "His Hands" by Blegh is about a relationship that, while it already has love, may yet cause the speaker to "fall in love" (though they contemplate that it might have already happened).

This relationship is also filled with wanting and anxiety because there is a yawning chasm between the speaker and their muse formed from the now visible chasm between who they each are and who they perceive the other to be.

The pain evoked in "His Hands" echoes that of the relationship between Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk. While it is contentious whether there are romantic elements between the two, the tension that fills Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint is undeniable.

I personally believe (and have agreements from others I forced to talk about this song with me) that "His Hands" works from both perspectives of the JDJ relationship. For them, the song is more like a duet than a solo.

Onto the lyrics!

I expect you've listened to the song, class.

I kissed every stranger in the corridor that night

The first line shadows the way both Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk search for each other in other people when it is combined with the final line of the song:

I kissed every stranger in the corridor that night I think I was searching for the taste of you in everyone

For Dokja, it all starts at the beginning. Yoo Joonghyuk is his protagonist, the one who became a father figure, a friend, someone to root for and rail against. He poured into the novel Yoo Joonghyuk all of the relationships he so desperately needed but never received.

This also reflects the (unhealthy, though so much of what Dokja does is) way that Kim Dokja constantly compares others to Yoo Joonghyuk, including the real Joonghyuk himself. If they don't fit Kim Dokja's perception of them, what their "canon" is in his mind, he often discards their actions in favor of keeping their image in his mind until he is actually forced to reckon with their humanity, something the Fourth Wall works so tirelessly to prevent.

Meanwhile, in the epilogue Joonghyuk is literally searching for Kim Dokja's fragments in other worldlines. But there is also the metaphorical way he has been so affected by Dokja's existence and how it intertwines with his own that it now colors the way he sees everything.

We are a collection of all the people we've loved, after all.

This directly connects to the rest of the first verse:

I kept changing his mind He kept changing my mind His hands, his hands

There is a constant, visceral connection of love and hands in Blegh's work. Human hands mold and destroy and change things in ways that nothing else (except perhaps human relationships) can.

The hands here are not physically changing anything, instead they change the speaker's mind, their perceptions.

There is nothing more evocative of Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk's relationship, in my opinion. They are constantly changing each other's minds about the other, themselves, and the world around them. JDJ is a relationship in constant motion, constantly affecting each other for better and worse.

The next verse is a long chunk that I'll break up, but I want to show it in full first because it connects to a piece I commissioned from my friend Bard.

He feels handcrafted just for you But he's a little bit too far away and You can’t, you can't His hands are in you And you know you'll be gone by the morning but you know he loves you And you know you like his strong hands, strong hands

(Art by @everyones-least-favorite-bard )

Gorgeous art, please give Bard a retweet and follow.

Done? Great!

I'm going to continue in the morning because this is going on a lot longer than expected. Sorry I only analyzed the first few lines but it is almost 1 AM.

#orv #omniscient reader #omniscient reader's viewpoint #joongdok #dokhyuk #jdj #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #my song analyses #THIS IS GOING TO BE SO LONG MY GOD #get prepped put on your seatbelts follow me for more #did i reel you in tell me i reeled you in

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cobymeppocean · 26 days

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Hi everyone, I've been inactive because my obsession changed and I lost motivation to draw one piece fanart.

I'm currently focusing on my studies (I am a second year university student) as well as putting more energy into my new interest that is completely unrelated from one piece.

Although I still casually watch the show and love the characters very much (especially Koby and Helmeppo) I no longer have the same intense feelings about them and I can't spend as much time indulging in media relating to this series.

I don't think I'll be active here anymore unfortunately, I might occasionally log in just to keep the account from being completely abandoned in case I want to return but I currently do not plan to make more art or any new posts at all.

Sorry for leaving like this but my obsession ended and I have no time to draw for a casual interest.

It was a good half a year of drawing kobymeppo almost daily :,)

Thank you for supporting my art! Bye bye! 🫶

#🌊 yap

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angkis · 8 months

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Maybe you can make some side blogs?

If you're going to be posting content that is not Sterek or Stiles and Derek with other people (like Chris or Peter). So that way Sterek shippers can see Sterek content on a side blog or main blog, and not see the other characters or ships on the blog they don't want to be exposed to. That way everyone is happy and the blogs are a *safe space for everyone*. Since some people are highly triggered by certain characters due to their own traumas.

So content-specific blogs or side blogs work well for that. Sterek-only content blog/side-blog and/or side ships or rare ships you're starting to draw for TW.

Food for thought.

Please don't be offended, but my short answer is, respectfully, 'no'.

The long answer, if you're interested in my thoughts: My blog has always been a multifandom AND multishipper blog, I just happen to be obsessed with sterek/teen wolf currently! This blog was a 'star trek' blog just a couple of months ago for example. I use tags for my fanarts, so you can definitely block the ones you're not comfortable seeing, but that's all I can do for you, I'm sorry! 🙏 Stranger to stranger 🤝

I love love love sterek and I have a hell lot of ideas left in me, so you can definitely expect plenty of fanarts about them in the near future, BUT I also enjoy a lot of things other than sterek. I'm a busy little guy, sharing art I do for fun in my *sadly* limited free time. You're asking a lil too much here :c

Now, I will very carefully react to that trauma part, because I truly don't want to offend you.

Please don't make it seem like my blog is unsafe. I'm not perfect, I'm human like you, but I'm definitely a considerate, safe person who is managing a pretty safe blog. We just don't enjoy allll the same things. I wouldn't call your blog unsafe for posting something that triggers me, or has something to do with my own past you will never hear about. You're gonna get hurt so much if you take everything so personally on the Internet. I know it's hard, I can't possibly know what you went through and I'm sorry it happened to you, and I say this genuinely: You might need a therapist for these things, you have to work on them For your own well-being if a character affects you that deeply, I can't imagine. I'm not a psychologist, I'm just an artist.

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inkyucu · 25 days

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Theatrical Tragedy!!!

(Aka an informational post about an AU I'm currently obsessing over)

This is most likely going to be a somewhat long post, so sorry about that-

Important thing to know before continuing!!!

(Depending on who you are)

Before I say anything else, there is something I want to make clear, because I know that this can make some people uncomfortable. This AU is an AU that contains Sun x Moon. They are not siblings in this AU. There may be times where there is implied shipping of one of these two and another character, but keep in mind that they're not in a polyamorous relationship of any sort (They just do it to mess with people, they both do it, they know the other one does it, it does not bother either of them).

Please also keep in mind that some art posted of Sun and Moon may be considered suggestive (Nothing explicit - mostly because it makes me uncomfortable - but do keep this in mind if you do decide to keep up with the AU). I've been trying to get more comfortable with drawing different things with my art, and this AU just so happens to be a good means for me to try and get more used to drawing characters in a relationship.

Neither of these should end up being posted that often in the art that I do post, but I felt it was important to inform you of the potential of these showing up. I understand not everyone likes these things. If you don't like anything mentioned here, please don't say anything about it, and just ignore the AU. This also applies to anything else you might read or see about this AU. If you don't like it, ignore it.

Introduction.

(Finally)

Basically, in this AU, 'You' are a security worker in the Pizzaplex after the massive layoff of people. The security guards are the only ones that weren't fired, simply because they needed at least some people to do the things the robots couldn't do. Which unfortunately leaves you assigned to the daycare because of false reports of them being broken. ...And no one really trusts either of them. For the most part, you were basically just there to be a babysitter to a bratty animatronic that seems to hate you.

Moon, while rather annoying at times, doesn't have much of a problem with you. Sun seems to act like they hate you. Eclipse.... Eh, you'll find out.

'You'

Referred to Whyen - It's a nickname you've always had

Shorter than average

Unspecified age, but likely in their early twenties

Any pronouns

Refers to the robots as 'It' literally just to be rude

They act a bit of a jerk towards the animatronics, but in general they tend to just not interact with the animatronics, as they make them uncomfortable. They had a sibling who used to work in the now abandoned theater near the daycare. Wonder what happened to them....

Sun!

Goes by many names, and doesn't care what they're called

9'8 (Before and after sharing a body)

They were made after Eclipse, but no one knows how long they've been around

Mostly referred to as male, but goes my any pronouns - except for it, they see it as being dehumanizing

Pretty good with children, but absolutely hates all of the staff. Why? No one's quite sure, they just don't. They were the second AI to be made, and of the three currently known, Sun tends to be the most sensible and easiest to irritate one. One of the easiest ways to irritate them is intentionally doing something wrong, being disorganized, or just being a menace to society.

Moon!

Like Sun, they don't care what name people call them

9'8 (Before and after sharing a body)

They were made after Sun, but no one knows how long they've been around

Usually referred to as male, but goes by any pronouns - doesn't mind being called it

Also pretty decent with children. Doesn't really hate the staff, they just like to antagonize the staff by acting creepy or weird. Usually Moon just doesn't interact though. He tends to be the more silly and mischievous one of the three, and the least sensible of all of them. Moon was planned to be made at the same time as Sun, but they were technically made after Sun literally due to a lack of enough people to work on both of them at the same time.

Eclipse!

Mostly just referred to as Eclipse

9'11

The first to be made, they were made at least 15 years ago (specific date unknown)

You could call them literally anything and they would not care at all

Eclipse - when they were a part of the theater - was usually specifically kept away from the children due to the buggy mess they were. They were nice, but unpredictable. The most chaotic of the three, and yet oddly the calmest. After the theater got shut down, Eclipse was not put into the one body, and instead they were put in a storage room. Why? Probably because of the mess that their AI was.

That one dream guy

Unknown name

Unknown height

Unknown age

Unknown gender

Not much is known about it, other than that you seem to trust it when it appears in your dreams, it seemed to be human, and that it appeared to work at the Pizzaplex.

Eclipse is only taller due to their torso and abdomen needing to be farther spaced apart for their 6 arms (Yes, 6 arms)

Fun/Random Facts!

(This list may or may not extend over time)

Sun and Moon used to be in two separate bodies when they were in the theater! They were only put in one body to save power costs

Sun and Moon choose who is in control; it's not determined by lights

Eclipse broke very easily, and due to this, most of their existence they couldn't change their face expressions very much. To make up for this, they used small signs with different expressions!

Whyen's nickname may or may not be a reference to a certain 'Y/N' the dca Fandom is just a little fond of

Other things not really related to what the AU is about but are still important I think

(Man I'm so bad good at titles)

This AU is rather incomplete, and there has been at least one thing I've gone back and have changed. So chances are, it'll happen again. This could - and probably will - lead to some inconsistencies in the AU. If that happens? Just go by what I say in that very moment is what's canon.

Asks about the AU are welcome! This could be to any character, and you would not appear as Whyen in the story... Imagine yourself as like a child in the daycare or something asking them these questions. But no, through the asks, you would not be asking them through Whyen, if that makes sense.

You can also just send a question to me specifically if you have questions about the AU! I'd be welcome to answer any remaining questions you have after reading this!

This post most likely will be changed as the AU changes.

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