#spoilers: the Witcher

[mantra4ia]

I mean no offense to the people who enjoyed "The Witcher" Season 3: Vol 1 on Netflix. No judgement. And also no offense to the cast and crew who I am sure worked hard to bring this to the screen.

I love the Witcher, mostly from the books and some gameplay, so from my own personal perspective...

What in the actual hell did Netflix do?!

There's so much eloquent dialogue in the source material to draw upon and this steaming pile of ****e is what they came up with? It telegraphs so much without a whiff of subtlety or craft— not unlike Sabrina in 3x5— that I want to puke, the only exception being that Yarpen Zigrin is still no nonsense and true to form.

Emhyr, as is evidenced by his cringe, overlong speeches and dull drawl, is not written as cunning or menacing by any stretch of the imagination as he ought to be, and the lack of a strong villain does nothing to drive the pace of the season.

Why are we waxing on about Vissena to try and strum up audience feels? We don't need to revisit that unless it serves a purpose for the characters. It doesn't. If the audience has been watching any of the previous two seasons, we don't need Geralt's childhood memories of his mother to impress upon us that he takes newfound parenthood seriously and would spill blood and make sacrifices for his family.

If that weren't painful enough, Yennefer — who we know is cunning when she schemes— lacks all of her razor edged wit when "groveling" before the Brotherhood to form a conclave. The recycled dialogue with Tissaia about chaos and control has lost its potency, as lukewarm as the mages' council of armchair tapping, and even her speeches to Ciri like "my ugly one" have so much wasted potential because there's a speed run montage about how much Yen and Cirilla care for eachother in episode 1 rather than letting us growing into the emotions ourselves, so that by the time we get to Yennefer disclosing her past, the emotion is lost. Also, Cirilla is supposed to be in a little awe of Yen and her power of influence, which is what makes "ugly one" so endearing, because it's the ends way of saying that Cirilla is powerful but magic isn't all she is / she doesn't need to rely on it like the mages rest on prolonged youth. It's her way of saying I love you, and for all the exposition that season three uses to elaborate feelings, this most essential part is completely lost. It's like we're playing house with emotions that haven't been earned their screen moment. "Lilac and gooseberries, now that I can tolerate," but I cannot abide these trash conversations.

These were the action sequences, the fight choreography, and the monster concept visualization they came up with? Like, for example, a failing mass of conjoined limbs and disembodied heads! The idea of Ciri's doppelganger from the books has been so corrupted.

On top of that, the cuts from scene to scene are so rough it's like whiplash. Chase scene - recycled Geralt /Ciri hug - dark portal nonsense - crash through ceiling. No finesse.

The Belletyn festival, which is so meaningful and beautifully described in the books, was butchered in execution of costume (Yen's is a season 1 throwback but never underwhelming way), with ridiculous "masks" (it irks me so much that Yennefer tells Cirilla had to cover her eyes and hair for a low profile and then we speed cut to the next scene where neither occurs and the costume department decides that they aren't even going to attach Cirilla's mask to her face, she just carries it around in her hand because that makes sense), unnecessary mazes to separate our characters and engineer a sense of peril, the whole lot. They used Belletyn as a setup to engineer a subsequent bait scene, which was an appallingly insult to intelligence and fight choreography. PS: Yen can I do more than throw a knife, can we please utilize her a little better?

Speaking of choreography, Ciri descending from mid air to stab the CGI aeschna in 3x4 with the overlong shot pull of monster blood on her face was so poorly edited I wanted to fast forward the entire episode thereafter.

Lastly, this farce for humor is what they came up with?! They made layered source characters like Dijkstra into single line fodder, and they wasted so much time on sitcom rubbish like Queen Hedwig's Redanian funeral, and Phillipa's bedroom shenanigans, and Fringilla as a drunken poison tester. I want to slap someone. It's as if the whole of season 3 thus far is a live-action adaptation of Ciri and Jaskier's satire of Yen and Geralt. Except that no one left the audience in the joke.

Also, for a series called The Witcher there is surprisingly little in the way of meaningful dialogue and action for Geralt to do, and that's a shame

I'm angry.

Season 1 was fantastic, season 2 was good but with notable divergence to character integrity, and Season 3 so far is the refuse pile of Aedd Gynvael. The only highlight was Ciri telling Valdo Marx to shut up, like I wish I could do for the rest of the dialogue in the series. After "Sherrawedd" I kept thinking to myself, it will get better. Ironically Sherwood was probably the best episode so far because at least it kept the essence of idea in "dear friend" from the literature as a foundation. After which it kept sinking down into chaos.

But more than angry, I'm disappointed. I'm sad that the Yennefer/Jaskier frenemy dynamic ("Hello again witch) —a highlight of season 2— has been shirked; the only decent byproduct of which is the Ciri/Jaskier relationship. And I'm depressed that this is Henry Cavill's sendoff as Geralt.

#Netflix: the Witcher #the witcher season 3 #is this a parody? #is it satire or is it the Witcher? #jaskier x yennefer #ciri and geralt #spoilers: the Witcher #henry cavill #geralt of rivia

[tadhannahj]

I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending

#especially killing eve my god they butchered it #the witcher #geraskier #jaskier #geralt of rivia #killing eve #villaneve #villanelle #eve polastri #our flag means death #blackbonnet #edward teach #blackbeard #stede bonnet #gentlebeard #good omens #good omens spoilers #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #ineffable divorce

[patroclusdefencesquad]

can you believe it's actually canon now

#and he's dating ALL of these people #the witcher #incorrect witcher quotes #jaskier #geraskier #geraskefer #radskier #yennskier #and vespula. my most beloved #the witcher spoilers

[izzy-hands]

The Adventures of Fun Uncle Jaskier™ and his Pocket-Sized Princess™

#the witcher #the witcher netflix #thewitcheredit #witcheredit #twn #jaskier #jaskieredit #joey batey #joeybateyedit #ciri #ciriedit #freya allan #userava #userbecca #ughmerlin #arthurpendragonns #* #*gifs #*witcher #the witcher spoilers

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

THEY HAVE THE SAME FUCKING FACIAL EXPRESSION HELP ME-

#catboy jaskier confirmed #...also why did catboy jerma come up as a suggestion #jaskier #mine #the witcher #witcher #the witcher s3 spoilers

[ughmerlin]

#he's got his priorities straight

#thewitcheredit #witcheredit #the witcher #thewitchersdaily #tvedit #jaskier #joey batey #useravia #userbecca #userava #arthurpendragonns #ivashkovadrian #the witcher spoilers

[thewitcherdaily]

The Witcher | 3.08 'The Cost of Chaos'

#thewitcheredit #thewitchersdaily #the witcher spoilers #the witcher #jaskier #userbbelcher #chewieblog #userstream #dailynetflix #dailyflicks #userbecca #ughmerlin #arthurpendragonns #useravia #usersimmons #userava #geraskier #milva #by laura #twd #s3 #3x08 #gif

[spielzeugkaiser]

How it started-

How it's going!! They are a family and I am!!! also draw the hug you want to see in the show but they are forgiven because them meeting in brokilon was still soooo tender my HEART-

#the witcher season 3 #the witcher #geralt of rivia #geraskier #jaskier #the witcher spoilers #(at least discussed in the text) #they've come such a long way and I'm still sitting here like 🥺🥺🥺 #man if you think of the timeline (which is so whack) Geralt and Jaskier have SEEN things #they have been going on for more than twenty years #they are FAMILY and that gets me so bad and I'll draw the whole squad probably tomorrow but!! look at them #somehow the end of season 3 is everything I wanted from season 1 when it came to those two because it had some S1 vibes again with the duo! #but it was so much more heartfelt and tender and not even an ounce of Geralt being seemingly annoyed of Jaskier just- #clenches fist #I'm so basic for still loving them so much but I simply do and will never stop 😔 #but I gotta say I loved the yenralt this season too I can finally see it and it was very sweet at times

[anya-chalotra]

No matter where you go or where you hide, we will never be apart.

#the witcher #the witcher netflix #yennefer of vengerberg #ciri of cintra #cirilla fiona elen riannon #thewitcheredit #witcheredit #yenneferedit #ciriedit #userbecca #useravia #arthurpendragonns #ughmerlin #jemmablossom #witcherladies #userbbelcher #chewieblog #mine* #gifs* #the witcher spoilers #crying about them

[endiness]

#thewitcheredit #jaskieredit #jaskier #rience #the witcher #witchersdaily #thewitchersdaily #witcherdaily #tvedit #dailynetflix #cinemapix #cinematv #userbbelcher #chewieblog #userstream #usersource #!gif #the witcher spoilers

[crowley-anthony]

#geralt protecting and valuing jaskier

#thewitcheredit #the witcher spoilers #the witcher #geraskier #geraskieredit #jaskieredit #jaskier #geraltedit #geralt of rivia #mine* #5k

[savagegood]

"I'm scared, Jaskier." "Just saying that makes you braver than you know." "That's it. That's what makes you so special. You don't just see people. You see the best in them." | THE WITCHER SEASON THREE

#AHHHHHHHHHH good morning. it's happening.gif!!! #“then take me here”... *me taking notes mmhmm yeah* #the witcher #thewitcheredit #the witcher spoilers #jaskier #joey batey #radovid #lgbt #lgbtq #bisexual #*op

[geraskiersource]

#that hand squeeze

#thewitcheredit #the witcher #the witcher spoilers #geraskier #geraskieredit #jaskier #geralt of rivia #thewitchersdaily #userbbelcher #chewieblog #dailyflicks #dailynetflix #userstream #userbecca #useravia #userava #usersimmons #ughmerlin #arthurpendragonns #by laura

[rubysunnday]

they are so married

#thewitcheredit #witcheredit #the witcher #thewitchersdaily #tvedit #the witcher spoilers #gifs* #userlottie #the witcher netflix #geraltedit #geralt of rivia #yenneferedit #yennefer of vengerberg #yennefer #geralt #yenralt #yenraltedit #witcherdaily #witchersdaily #arthurpendragonns #gif #show #s3

[izzy-hands]

Jaskier + finally getting the love, validation and recognition that he deserves

#the witcher #the witcher netflix #thewitcheredit #witcheredit #jaskier #jaskieredit #joey batey #joeybateyedit #geraskier #userava #userbecca #ughmerlin #arthurpendragonns #chewieblog #userbbelcher #* #*gifs #*witcher #the witcher spoilers

[theladyigraine]

Jaskier and Radovid's meet cute | The Witcher, S3E1

#the witcher #thewitcheredit #tvedit #the witcher netflix #radskier #jaskier x radovid #radskieredit #jaskier #myedit #the witcher spoilers #(ignore the misplaced fullstop in the last gif i cba to remake it)